paint the town red or something idk ( ᐛ )و

me rambles:

uhhh i feel like i am being too hard on myself these days and i miss when i used to have fun and feeling satisfied drawing them doing silly things. i keep comparing myself with other talented artists so i pushed myself to be kind of like them. but. dear god. that is not me. it's a bit hard for me to follow trends when i don't feel like it. it's good for chasing numbers and i want to. but i also don't want to. sucks to be in the middle of anything and everything. like a limbo. what the hell do i even want. what do i even know. i just wanna draw ghostsoap. why does it suddenly becoming so hard on me. reminding myself to just fuck it and draw like always. somehow it's not enough and then i mess it all up all over again.