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xhellfireclubx · 2 years

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HELLS BELLS

A/n: This is Chapter Five! Previous parts below!

Chapter One: The Hoard

Chapter Two: The Cabin in the Woods

Chapter Three: The Pinky Promise

Chapter Four: The Chicken

Hello! I hope you guys like this chapter! It’s looking like the next chapter will probably be the end and I’m super sad :( please let me know if you guys have any other ideas or requests, I’m gladly accepting! I haven’t proof read the whole thing yet, so pleaseee don’t mind the typos until I cant fix them. :) thank you!! The italicized text is a flashback!!

Word Count: 2.6k

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader (she/her)

Warnings: 18+ only! Slightly suggestive, drugs (weed), language, angry Eddie, protective Eddie, fluffff, emotional

This story is mine! No one has my consent to use this, thankssss

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Chapter Five: The Plan

After you had finished explaining everything from your point of view, everyone’s eyes widened at the obvious time jump in your story. “Fascinating…” Dustin said, putting his hand to his chin with a perplexed expression. “The Upside Down is frozen in time. It’s still the day that Will went missing down there… that must explain why it didn’t feel that long to you.” The man -who you’d come to learn was Steve- said, running his fingers through his hair with a sigh.

The group goes on to explain everything they knew, down to the last detail. “And then Jason stepped on Max’s headphones… Lucas wasn’t able to save her. She died for over a minute. But then he said she just.. came back.” Nancy explained in a solemn tone.

“I saved her.” Eleven retorted bluntly, locking eyes with you. “I saved her, and I don’t know how.” Her eyes were practically begging you for answers, while everyone else’s eyes widened at the sudden news that Eleven was who saved Max’s life. You take her hands in yours, a vivid memory coming to mind. “Do you remember..”

It had only been a couple of weeks since Eleven had starting coming into the rainbow room. Although you were quite a bit older than her, you saw how mean the other children were being to her and decided to take her under your wing. “Do you want to play plinko with me?” You asked, pointing to the large vertical board with pegs riddled across the front. She hesitantly nodded, obviously nervous that you were only going to bully her just as the others did. You sat on your knees, scooting over to leave room as she did the same.

You picked up a puck, sitting up on your knees and placing it in the slot at the top, picturing it going to the number ‘4’ before letting it go. Click, click, click, click-click-click-clash; four. The puck fell directly into the slot, just as you had pictured. “Your turn.” You say softly, handing Eleven a puck. She offered a hesitant smile before copying your moves. “So, did Papa assign you a special power yet?” You ask, quiet enough that the orderlies and other children wouldn’t hear.

She looked up to you, as a plinko puck descended down the board, unsure if she should tell you or not. You sat up again, placing a plinko put at the top before letting it go. “Mine is healing. Papa has been letting me practice on saving animals.” You say quietly with a warm smile. “Wanna know how he taught me to do it?” You ask again, hoping to get at least a couple words from her.

“How?” She asks simply, before letting another puck tumble down the board. “The clearer your intention in your mind, the more effective the outcome will be.” You say, mimicking Papa’s words exactly. “I look for the light. And then I chase it.” You say simply, hoping you’re not scaring her. “Look for the light and chase it.” Eleven says thoughtfully. “You’ll know you’re doing it right if you feel little tingles on your body.” You say, beginning to tickle her side, earning a small giggle from her.

You pick up a puck once more, not wanting the orderlies to be suspicious of your conversation. Click, click, click, click- “Papa showed me how to go into other’s minds.” Eleven tells you quietly, just as the puck drops into one of the slots at the bottom. “He said to run to the darkness. To search and to not stop until you get where you want to go.” She explained quietly before sliding another puck into the plinko board, watching as it cascaded down randomly. “Excuse me ladies, what do we seem to be talking about here?” Another voice asks, causing you both to snap your heads up in the direction of the voice. It was Peter Ballard.

“That day, we both taught each other what special powers Papa had given us. Remember? I got punished that whole day that day, but it was so worth it.” You say with a soft smile, pulling her into a tight hug. She hugged you back tightly, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. “Thank you..” She whispers into your shoulder, causing you to hug her tighter.

“So does that mean you can go into peoples minds like El can?” Will asks, something obviously formulating in his mind. “I mean I’ve never tried, but I should be able to.” You say with confidence, slowly letting go of El as you turn to look at everyone else, your eyes instantly going to Eddie. His hands were fidgeting nervously as he rubbed his face, trying to process everything he was hearing.

“HOLY SHIT!” Dustin suddenly exclaims, causing everyone to jump. “Don’t DO tha-” Steve quips, getting interrupted by Dustin. “SHHH shut up for a second.” He says, holding his finger out as he thinks, causing you to laugh at the exchange while Steve rolls his eyes. “It’s okay buddy.” Robyn says to Steve sarcastically, rubbing his back in a condescending manner- causing Steve mumble something snarky back. “Eddie-” Dustin says, turning to him as Eddie perks up at the sound of his name. “The dungeons and dragons game, the one the night of the championship game. We were all about to die, when Erica killed Vecna by rolling…” Dustin leads, hoping Eddie can remember. “A 20.” Eddie says, his eyes shifting to you and Eleven slowly in amazement.

“011 plus 009 equals 20.” Mike comments in amazement, causing you to take in a breath as you realized what this meant, taking Eleven’s hand in yours. You and Eleven were what was going to stop Vecna for good. After bouncing ideas off of each other, Dustin formulates a plan before standing up.

“So here’s what I’m thinking. Tomorrow night- Eddie and I will be here with Nina. El- you, Mike, Jonathan, Argyle, and Will can go to the Mike’s house. We can set up sensory deprivation tanks in the bathtubs at both houses.” Dustin says, looking around to see if anyone was confused. “Why are we splitting up again?” Nancy asks as her lips purse in confusion.

“The Upside Down is spilling over, there are creatures running through these woods at this very moment… they have a hive mind. They have to go to one place or the other, they can’t go to both.” He explains simply before everyone nods in agreement. “At exactly 7pm sharp tomorrow, Nina will go into Vecna’s mind. There she will lure him into her mind, once he is completely distracted, El will come in and they will both attack his mind together. They’re stronger as a unit. Then, that’s where Steve, Nancy, Robyn come in. You guys will essentially do what you did last time, attacking Vecna’s physical form from the Upside Down. If we attack from all three points at the same time, he won’t be able to withstand that.” Dustin finishes, studying the reaction of those around him. “Nope. NOPE. Absolutely not.” Eddie says in protest before standing up. “Nina’s not doing that. I’m not letting this happen again.” Eddie says matter-of-factly.

“Eddie, she has to. This is our only way.” Mike answers, furrowing his brows in frustration. “We can do it.” Eleven says confidently. “I SAID she’s not doing that.” Eddie says, obviously getting very agitated at everyone insisting on you putting yourself in danger. “GOD I would fucking KILL for a joint right now!” He screams up at the ceiling before rubbing his forehead, clearly stressed. You quickly walk over to him, studying his expression. As you open your mouth to say something, Jonathan tosses a joint to Eddie- which he quickly catches. “Purple palm tree delight, brochacho!” Argyle comments excitedly, earning a snicker from everyone else.

“Okay, we’re going to go. You go outside, buddy, and decompress. Here’s the clothes that Nancy brought, I’m just gonna sit them here.” Dustin says before placing the bag on the couch as everyone begins to file out of the house. Eleven turns to you, hugging you tightly. “We’ve got this.” You both say in unison, before letting out a giggle. You wave goodbye to Eleven as she follows everyone out the front door. Dustin slowly begins to back out of the door once everyone had retreated, clutching the doorknob in his hand. “Aaaaand I will be back tomorrow at 7!” Dustin says quickly before slamming the door, not giving Eddie a chance to protest.

You let out a breath, your brain finally beginning to process everything that was set to happen tomorrow. “I’m going to be okay Eddie, I promise.” You say soothingly, reaching for his hand. He quickly pulls it away, turning before rifling through some drawers in the kitchen. You watch in confusion before he locates the item he was searching for- a lighter.

“You’re not mad at me? Are you?” You ask worriedly, looking at him with concern. He lets out a sigh as tears begin to brim at his eyes. “This shit is just so FUCKED man!” He says, kicking a kitchen cabinet angrily with his foot. You flinch at the loud sound before quickly making your way to Eddie, gingerly placing your hand over his clenched fist. “It’s going to be okay. I’m going to be okay.” You say reassuringly, his gaze finally meeting yours. His expression was much like the one he had when you had found him… sorrowful, dread-filled.

“Do you pinky promise?” He asks, slowly extending his pinky to yours, his eyes studying you intently. You chewed on the inside of your cheek at his words. You had to make sure you were going to be okay, for Eddie. You’d never broken a pinky promise before, and you weren’t going to start now. You tightly intertwined your pinky with his before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, which he gladly returned. “I pinky promise.” You say back, not a hint of doubt in your voice.

Eddie lets out a light sigh of relief before looking down at the joint and lighter in his other hand. “Do you wanna come outside with me? I need to decompress.” Eddie says, letting out a chuckle. You nod excitedly, following him out the back door of the cabin where you find a small bench that’s slightly overgrown.

Eddie takes a seat, with you sitting right next to him. He lights the joint within a few seconds and takes a heavy draw from it. “Holyyy shit…” He mumbles as smoke falls from his lips with his words. “That’s the longest I’ve gone without smoking weed since… ever?” He says, ending his sentence more in a question causing you to laugh. Eddie turns to look at you, the familiar spark returning to his eyes once again.

“Can I try?” You ask, causing his jaw to drop. “You know this is drugs right?” He says, putting a funny mocking tone when he uses the word ‘drugs’. “I know, I know.” You say before holding your hand out, wiggling your fingers to ask for the joint. He smiles, handing you the joint gladly. You place the end between your lips, mimicking the huge draw he had taken as it was the only time you’d seen someone hit a joint. Your lungs filled up with smoke rapidly before you pulled away, handing the joint back to Eddie quickly as the smoke falls from your lips combined with coughing.

Your cheeks began to flush red at the embarrassment, the coughing causing your head to spin from the weed. You look back to Eddie, who is chucking at the sight. “Damn, sweetheart. Go big or go home, I guess.” He teasingly remarks before taking another hit of the joint. You leaned back against the bench, turning your head as you watch him draw from the joint.

Your heart fluttered at the sight, blinking slowly as your body began to feel as if you were floating on a cloud. “Want some more, princess?�� He asks, turning to look at you as he holds the joint out. “I think I’m gooood.” You mumble before starting to giggle. Eddie begins to laugh at the sound of your giggles, and soon you both forgot what you were even laughing at as tears streamed down your cheeks simultaneously.

Once Eddie finished his joint, he stomped it into the ground before standing and taking your hand in his, helping you up. “Come on, let’s go get out of these clothes and get rested. You look exhausted.” Eddie says thoughtfully, pressing a kiss to your temple. Eddie leads you inside before digging through the bag, gasping at the sights inside. A pair of jeans for him, a pair for you, sweatpants to sleep in, and two hellfire t-shirts. “Someone donated these?!” Eddie asks, gasping as he looks at them closer. “What’s Hellfire Club?” You ask softly before he turns to look at you.

“It was my club at school. A Dungeons & Dragons club. It’s a table top fantasy game. And I worked really hard on the design for these shirts too!” He huffed as he handed you one along with your sweatpants. You let a giggle escape from your lips, your eyes scanning the shirt. “Will you teach me to play after this is all over?” You ask enthusiastically, Eddie turning to look over his shoulder as he removed his Golden Girls shirt from before.

“That’s the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me.” Eddie remarked, only half joking causing you to laugh and wink cheekily at him. Eddie slowly began to make his way over to you, your heels hitting the wall as he backs you into it. “After we destroy Vecna, we’re getting the hell out of here.” Eddie mumbles against your skin before placing kisses around your jaw. You flutter your eyes closed, reveling in the feeling of his lips against your skin as you imagine running away with Eddie.

Your breath began to quicken as his hand snaked underneath your shirt, rubbing your bare back causing goosebumps to appear across your skin from the feeling of the cold metal from his rings. You hum softly in response before pulling away slightly. “Let me go get changed real quick, okay?” You say, pressing a kiss to his lips as he grumbles in protest.

“Fine but hurry. You’re all mine after.” He growls into your ear before pressing a final kiss to your jaw. You stand there, panting lightly as he turns back to his clothes, sliding his new hellfire shirt onto his body. Turning, you grab your clothes and make your way into the bathroom- shutting the door behind you.

You smiled sheepishly at your reflection, finally being able to see just how flustered you get around Eddie. Tap, tap, tap. Your eyebrows furrow at the sound. It seemed to be coming from the bathroom closet. Tap, tap, tap. Without hesitation, you swing open the closet, seeing the large and now somewhat broken grandfather clock, now with spiders crawling out of every nook and cranny.

Chime… CHIME… CHIME… CHIME…

You let out an ear piercing scream as you slammed the closet door shut, running out of the bathroom. “WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?” Eddie yelled, his eyes wide in panic as he runs to you, his arms quickly taking you into a protective embrace. You struggled to use your words, unsure of what was real and what wasn’t as shallow breaths left your lips rapidly.

“He’s getting stronger. He’s going to kill me! We have to stop him… tonight.”

End of Chapter Five: The Plan

Read the Final Chapter: The Rainbow Room

#eddie munson fix it fic #eddie munson stranger things #Eddie Munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #stranger things 4 #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #fix it fic

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bisaster-energy · 2 years

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merlin and/or mcu for the blorbification list <3

Hi nemy !!! I'm gonna do Merlin and then later I'll probably post a whole separate one for MCU (god that'll be a long post)

Blorbo: oh Merlin my Merlin :) from boy to man shouldering the responsibility of all of Albion without so much as a thank you I kiss him goodnight in my head. Everyone who's anyone loves at least a little bit (even if they hate him) it's just how it works!! A god amongst men living like a servant. Insane. Magical entities speak directly to his brain and he just has to pretend to be Some Guy visiting nobles feel like their world has turned upside down when they see him tell a joke that makes the king guffaw. The other servants swoon when they see him. He looks out of his window in the dark of night looking to the stars like they'll answer "why" or "how" or even "what for". I could talk about him until it kills me

Scrunkly: Gwen!! She's everything to me ooohh my god. She's so lovely and also will stab you. She's awkward as hell and is constantly putting her foot in her mouth but it's so endearing. She steals the hearts of so many! The king of Camelot could be out for blood she'd be like "Arthur" and he'd be like "yes darling :)" like she has him and everybody else absolutely whipped. Do not let her and Merlin gang up on you they'd be unstoppable 😩 she's the queen of Camelot and she's perfect in the sense that she's not

Scrimblo bimblo: elyan without a doubt. No one wears a hoodie like him 🥰 he's small he's ace and he's here to fuck shit up. his sister is the queen loser watch your kneecaps cos if he catches u talking shit it's over. Percival carries him around sometimes :) he verbally destroys the knights (specifically gwaine) at any point in time just for kicks! He's also very soft and kind (don't get me started on the ghost of the druid boy I'll cry) anyway wdym he's dead he's right here putting the racist who challenged him in a duel to shame

Glup shitto: GWAINE the absolute madlad!! He probably doesn't count as obscure but he should've been in the show more!! Every time he's on screen I'm like "THERE HE IS!! THE BOY! what atrocities will he commit :)" from the first time we met him we were as enamored with him as Merlin was. Mans was in the middle of a bar fight and stopped to flirt with the Twink with the cheekbones and honestly that's on code. He's noble and hates it but he'd go riding into hell for the prattiest one of all because Merlin is the love of his life and he'd want him to. Merlin his first friend who'd never tire of him never ask him to change loves him just the way he is. Merlin braids his hair Merlin berates him while tending to his wounds Merlin is everything to him. But he also found friends in circles he doubted he ever would before coming to Camelot. Him shooting the shit with knights who woulda thought. He calls the crown prince Princess and I love him I love him

Poor little meow meow: somehow Arthur goes right here. Idk why but he gets a lot of hate but I love him he doesn't deserve it 🥺 he treats Merlin like shit even after he's had character development that should've CHANGED THAT so I DO metaphorically pinch his arm on occasion. Maybe if we had a spritz bottle for when he's being nasty :) anyways he's pathetic he always listens to his father but it's never enough he fell in love with two servants who are too good for him and his self worth is based entirely on other people. He's a bisexual dumbass who's closest knights are all really hot guys. hm. He's done a lot of bad things but he's also so so good the future if his kingdom rests with him and in his eyes it's his burden alone to bear and I think a blanket and some hot chocolate would do him good!!

Horse plinko: Leon my beloved <3 aptly named the long suffering because the pain never stops!! From "poetry lessons" to straight up not being able to die this man has had it rough and I'm only gonna make it worse. I love him but I love him more while he's contemplating yeeting himself onto a sword. the knights (AND THE KING) fall asleep during his speeches. He's the actual mom of the group and don't let Lancelot fool you into thinking he's some how more nature than the rest of these assholes (to be fair Leon has his moments of mischief as well 😌)

Eeby deeby:

I hate him your honor.

Tysm for the ask nemy!!!!

#morgana is ALSO my poor little meow meow!! she would've fought uther in hand to hand combat if she could.#she despaired at people she didn't know were hers being burned and was locked in a tower for caring #she was so kind and also fierce as all hell. definitely brushed Gwen's hair before. wore flower crowns and beat Arthur's ass at swords #sometimes at the same time!!#but her heart was eaten away by bitterness and hatred a man she'd never call father at the center of it #i mourn her and who she used to be as well. whether kind and cheeky or hateful she was morgana and i love her #Lancelot is another Scrunkly because i will coddle him til the end of the earth #he has so much love and he's so unfailingly good it makes me ache #he loved merlin and then gwen and arthur as well and he gained a family in camelot and #the self sacrificing bastard died for them #he cosplays as a responsible figure but he's just as much of a little shit as any of the other knights #Merlin's first friend that knew everything about him and he could talk to him about anything #arthur did wanna fuck him and he might've at some point #agravaine is also being sent to the eeby deeby he's a fucking creep #nemy is one of the blorbos from my dash :)

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taptrial2 · 2 years

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Deltarune

deltarune. (insert gif of queen run cycle here)

blorbo (favorite character)

QUEEN im obsessed with her. megamind looking woman. listens to bitcrushed music. just a silly motherfucker. lancer's mom. we are to be wed in june

scrunkly (my baby)

obviously lancer. i doodle him all the time, hes so fucking cute. his character on its own would be good, but his bonds with the people around him make him compelling and fun and especially bittersweet. a victim of neglect who still loves the one who neglected him very much. an isolated little boy with two fathers, one official and unofficial, neither of which take very good care of him (sorry rouxls). he has no friends even close to his age when we first meet him, and he has been formed as a person thus far by his father, who he both strives to be and naturally wants to separate from himself. meeting people who treat him gently and with kindness, people who encourage his interests (cartoony "evil"), people who love him in a new way he hasn't experienced before and is overjoyed to be experiencing.... god.

i am especially compelled by the wrinkle of susie outright saying in the first chapter that if she sees the king, she will kill him. that is lancer's only "true" family, his superior dad, and he doesn't want anyone to get hurt on either side, he just wants to keep everyone safe the only way he knows how, which is sending them to the prison. because people there are generally just... forgotten. but not further hurt, not directly, he knows that. seeing him so unwilling to hurt others and simultaneously having childlike problem solving skills is so, so, so great and heartbreaking and endearing. he's a sweet little boy, a bouncy little pumpkin, thrust into highly unusual circumstances. also his relationship with rouxls is adorable.

and god, the way his dad cast his son away onto his subjects, and lancer knowing that everyone just has to be nice to him because he's the prince. god. theres more i could talk about but i will stop. for Now

scrimblo bimblo (underrated favorite)

hmm..... see, this category just overlaps too much with other categories for me to decide on this, plus the fandom is big enough that every character has their own pocket of appreciators. i don't see enough content for sweet cap'n cakes though. k_k is my favorite i LOVE his design SO FUCKING MUCH and hes stupid. i would like to buy 300 bagels.

glup shitto (obscure favorite)

CATTI, i cannot WAIT to learn more about her. i hope we get to learn more about her soonish... she seems interesting already, with a family who doesn't take her seriously, her own job while still in high school, she's quiet and moody, her best friend is a silly jock snake.... already lots of layers. i demand more layers. NOW.

poor little meow meow (pathetic favorite)

i feel like people ignore how truly sad and fucked up ralsei is. like, he was just waiting there alone for so long. it's clear that there's Something Up with ralsei, but for now he just seems very. y'know. the whole "our existence is dependent on making others happy" thing is deeply concerning and makes me want to shake him by the shoulders and say LIVE FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR LIFE HAS VALUE ALL ON ITS OWN!!!! we'll see how it pans out. hopefully he stops telling other darkners that their only purpose is to serve lightners - i honestly get uncomfortable when he does that. i believe it's intentionally uncomfortable, but sir please stop that, your lives all have value of their own :( pls dont tell that to my bouncy little pumpkin he is a gem. anyway that kind of thinking is true meow meow behavior.

horse plinko (character i would torment for fun)

KING. despite what i said up there about king, i absolutely love him, but in the way some people love spamton. i wanna put him in a jar and shake him until he turns into pulp. i want to roll his hamster wheel down a hill with him still running in it like a cartoon character. i love his stupid water bottle and how defensive he is about it. how DEADLY serious he insists on being... but he still lets the cracks show. he wants cashews from the store. he bounces lancer to comfort him when he is sad. he clearly has deep affection for his son, but affection alone does not a good parent make. he is neglectful and selfish, but he still loves his boy, despite casting him away. he contains multitudes, complications. his implied past relationship (platonic or romantic) with queen is hilarious, too - theyre so divorced and its a super fun dynamic seeing a super silly character and a hyperserious character bounce off of each other. they really do have a lot of comedic chemistry! also his design is super awesome and i LOVE the tummy mouth with the spade rope tongue thing. its badass. sometimes you just need a character to be a campy for the evuls villain so you can imagine kicking him down the stairs

eeby deeby (character i would send to superhell)

undyne unless she fucking resigns from her job. i love undyne so much but WHYYY is she a cop. WHY. I HATE IT. TO SUPERHELL WITH YOU

#exoticbutterstxt

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lightbreatheslife-blog · 6 years

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Multiplicity

Originally published by Twiniversity.com. Follow the link or read below: https://www.twiniversity.com/2019/05/idea-of-twins/

We sit in firm, angular chairs in the grey-carpeted waiting room of Duke Fertility as smooth jazz wafts from speakers in the ceiling. My husband checks work email on his phone while I scribble updated contact information on a medical clipboard. My stomach is bloated and the top button on my jeans is jabbing into belly rolls I would generally rather pretend do not exist. My body is lethargic, heavy, the way it feels the morning after I’ve taken sleeping pills and the grogginess has yet to wear off. My mind, however, is alert, anxious, awaiting the next set of data to determine if our first pregnancy, at six weeks in, is still a go.

“Kathleen Straight,” the nurse calls, poking her head around a heavy wooden door to beckon us back to the land where dreams just might come true. I feel a bit like Dorothy being let in to see the Wizard--if Dorothy were bloated and nauseous and about to lose her lunch. We hop up and scuffle through the doorway, down a bright hallway shellacked with pictures of newborn babies with thank you notes taped beside. “Our little miracle! Thanks Duke Fertility!” I read quickly as the nurse ushers us into a darkened exam room. Two chest-height machines topped with computer screens flank a tissue-covered table, beside the table another chair.

“Here’s a robe—it opens in the front,” the nurse says. “Go ahead and take off everything but the robe and I’ll be back.”

Quite sure of our places, my husband settles into the chair while I change into the starched sheet with arm holes and lie on the exam table, crinkling the paper below as I adjust to get comfortable. The nurse reenters, confirms my date of birth while staring into the computer monitor, clicking the little mouse every few seconds with her index finger.

“Your numbers look great,” she says, “We are going to take a look and see if we can’t find a nice heartbeat.”

She squeezes what looks like a ballpark condiment bottle of clear goo onto a long grey wand with a chord that trails back to the machine beside her. Noticing my breathing is shallow, my heartbeat quick, I force a deep breath in and out and make a feeble attempt to relax my lower body as she inserts the machine wand up into my uterus.

Indiscriminate motions flash on a black and white screen as the nurse adjusts the wand, searching for life. The machine speakers emanate indistinguishable shushes and slurs, much like the sound of the old home videos my dad used to take (almost without fail) directly into the wind. This moment, with the screen like a black ocean and the white noise of a microphone searching for sound, this moment lasts forever. My breathing freezes somewhere halfway into an inhalation.

Shushshssh….shlurrrrr….shushshsh…schlurrrr.

“Wup, there’s a nice heartbeat!” the nurse finally says as she zeros in on a tiny black dot I never could have found in a million years amid an ocean of dark grey on the screen. “Let’s see if there’s another…”

And before we can exhale, before we can celebrate the first, the sound of a second heartbeat fills the room.

“Oh, there it is--twins! Let me just see if there are any more…”

In a split second upsurge, every conceivable emotion rockets its way from the bottom of my gut, through my heart and up into my head. Joy, fear, shock, trepidation, insecurity, wonder: all of them at once explode like a giant Fourth of July firework trapped in the space between my ears. My eyes fill with involuntary tears.

“What?! Twins!?” Justin exclaims, smiling, as the weight of tears in his eyes, too, gives way and trails down his cheeks.

We look at each other to ground ourselves, check in on a reality too surreal to grasp without each other’s witness. In this moment, we are mirrors reflecting back at one another the same kaleidoscope of emotions: we smile, eyes wide and watery, each shaking our heads to somehow let the news settle where it needs to in our brains before it can be classified as reality (much how that little disk plinks its way to its final category in the game of Plinko on The Price is Right).

“Twins?!” I finally say, ever late to the party when it comes to formulating words in the midst of intense emotions. “Twins?!…Twins.” My brain has found a tiny space. The news begins to settle in.

“Looks like your uterus dropped two eggs: see here, and here,” the nurse says as she somehow identifies two small dark spots amidst the sea of near blackness.

“Almost certainly fraternal. They’re di-di--each have their own sack and placenta--which is good, statistically lower risk…”

Nothing she is saying makes any sense to me except that there are two little lives with beating hearts growing deep inside my body.

My mind races to a conversation I had just two days earlier while walking with a friend. “What if you have twins?” she asked.

“Ha! Well, I know there’s a chance…I guess we’ll just have to figure it out, won’t we?!” I replied, laughing all the while as if there really was no chance, as if we’d never really have to (get to?) figure it out. “We did go to a prayer service a few months ago at our church and out of nowhere this lady says, ‘Lord, I feel like you’re asking me to pray for twins for this couple.’ So there’s that! Ha!” I say, again dismissing it all as the over-spiritualized fancy of a well-meaning cat lady who volunteers to pray at church and goes home to keep company with 15 felines and a basket full of crocheted cat sweaters.

We had a similar experience years back, after all, when that crazy Korean missionary had us over for dinner and prayed for Justin and me, newly dating and unsure of each other at the time, to get married. Obviously she was certifiably nuts. Except, I suppose, for the fact that in the end we did get married.

Now, sprawled on the crinkling paper of the exam table with a (seemingly magic) wand waving around my uterus, it appears that cat lady may have been on to something (or she just prays for every human to have a litter like her kitties). I rub my hand over my bloated belly and wonder how my 5’3, 115lb frame is going to grow and carry two little babies around for the next 8 months without constantly tipping over front-wise.

The nurse explains that our pregnancy is considered high risk and we will now need to pursue obstetric care through one of the established hospitals around Durham—UNC or Duke—as opposed to the zen birthing center I had my eye on (the one that lets you birth in pools of Alpine spring water blessed by the Dalai Lama while getting a henna tattoo and seaweed facial). I push aside a split second of disappointment to take in our new reality: a high risk pregnancy will mean bi-monthly doctor visits, frequent ultrasounds, and enough data about premature birth risks to make any expecting mom all but confine herself to a padded room for the duration of the pregnancy.

“Congratulations,” the nurse says, handing me a folder of photocopied pamphlets titled “What to expect when expecting multiples.”

Thoroughly checked and deemed “all systems go” by a medical team for which hearing two heartbeats is a happy but routine data point, we are dismissed until the next follow-up appointment. I squeeze myself gingerly back into my jeans--leaving the top button undone--and walk with a new sense of caution out into the parking lot. The blinding sun bounces off hot black asphalt as Justin and I attempt to wrap our heads around our burgeoning reality.

It takes several weeks before the news begins to settle into all the parts of my brain, seeping slowly into the far corners, as my body rounds into curves. My chest, my hips, my butt, my belly—all the parts of my athletic, linear figure (that just sounds so much better than flat and angular, doesn’t it?) begin to plump and push outward. It seems my body is determined to share the happy news of my pregnancy before my words can get to it. But this pregnancy is young and high risk and Justin and I agree that we’ll wait to share after the first trimester is safely behind us.

This agreement lasts about one day before I am confronted with the reality that I have no self control. I’m convinced I will actually explode like one of those gender-reveal balloons unless I can share our insane news with someone.

“So...how about I just tell my mom?” I say.

“Okay, that makes sense.”

“aaaand, Lashelle. …aaaaand Kristen and Shey? But that’s it,” I say.

“Okay. I’ll tell Micah,” Justin relents (secretly busting at the seams himself).

I think of a clever way to share with my mom—a texted picture of two buns in an oven. Well, a bun and a bagel to be precise: the grocery was low on buns. She doesn’t get it, thinks I’ve taken up baking.

I call to clarify. “We’re pregnant! With twins!”

My mom, now a 69-year-old widow and mother of four middle-aged adults, has waited years for grandkids. To her credit, she never nags or pulls the passive aggressive, “It must be so nice for all your friends’ moms to have grandkids already.” She hopes secretly, wordlessly, ready to pounce on all the baby clothes Target has to offer as soon as she’s given the word. With the news of not one but two grandkids on the way, my mom is at once thrilled and beyond mystified (and likely already in the car headed to Target).

“Where are you going to put them?” she says.

“Well…huh, I guess we’ll make the back office a nursery…”

“No, in your body! Where are you going to fit them?!”

That question is trickier than the back-office renovation. I’m not sure what to say. I have no idea where I’m going to “put them,” but I’ll do my damndest to stretch out a comfy little cubby somewhere between my neck and their eventual exit door.

There are so many questions--posed by others and myself--that I am suddenly fielding. How are you going to manage two babies at once? How will you breastfeed two? Is the fertility medicine behind the multiple pregnancy? Or is it simply (or not so simply) an act of God? Will I be put on bedrest? Can my body nurture and carry two babies to term? Sweet Jesus, will they make it? Will they both make it? Will I be a good mom? Will I ever sleep again? Where have these voluptuous breasts been all my life?

I do not have a single answer. I am in territory I have never in a million years imagined my life navigating. What I do know is multiple doctors told me I would have a difficult time getting pregnant. Multiple doctors offered multiple diagnoses—from polycystic ovarian syndrome to hypothalamic amenorrhea—as the reason I have not yet been pregnant and might not ever be. And now, seven years into our marriage, seven years of not knowing whether we would ever have the joy of welcoming a child into our family, I am pregnant—with not one, but two babies. I do not know how the story will play out, but I recognize the grace, the excessive giving of a Cosmic Mom who offers two funfetti smash cakes when I ask for a crust of bread.

“Lord, I feel like you’re asking me to pray for twins,” that cat lady prayed while Justin and I both resisted the urge to interrupt.

“Whoa, whoa. You’re off script, lady,” I wanted to say at the time. “That’s not what we asked you to pray for.”

It wasn’t. And I’m scared. But I’ve lived long enough to understand that life is so rarely filled with precisely what we ask for. And every so often, that’s a good thing. Sometimes, it’s the best thing.

Katie Straight is a writer, poet and stay-at-home mom of three: twin five-year-old boys and one two-year-old little girl. Previously, her professional work focused on international development and international education policy (Harvard, MEd ‘12). She lives in Charlottesville, VA, with her husband and kids.

Photo credit: Lashelle Chappell Photography

#twins #multiples #infertility #prayer #birth announcement #ultrasound #motherhood #pregnancy #surprise #parenting #moms #babies #lashellechappellphotography

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