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eashn · 11 months

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hq | how they jack off

with kuroo, bokuto, oikawa, iwaizumi, saeko, and kageyama.

summary: hq characters and their masturbation habits

warnings: NSFW content, fem!reader, male and female masturbation, mentions of rough sex, mentions of oral sex (male and female receiving), phone sex, anal play, bruising, light dom/sub dynamics here and there, many many mentions of tits and ass, mention of fingering

A/N - i rewatched haikyuu and these fuckers starting screwing around in my brain again like they owned the place so here’s what came of that. happy reading, expect more of this crap soon lmao

Kuroo Tetsurō

filthy with it

needs his hand slick—with lube, lotion, spit. whatever’s closest.

he’s rough. rubs himself ragged and sweats through his sheets

grunts and groans, mutters your name here and there

usually goes multiple rounds

That’s it—fuck, baby,” Kuroo rasped, pumping his length in his cum-coated fingers. He’d already finished twice to the thought of his cock in your pretty mouth.

His sheets were damp beneath him and the salty tang of sweat clouded the air, but he didn’t give a damn. All he could think about was you. Your deft hands. Your lips, slick with drool. Your glassy eyes staring up at him as he fucked his cockhead down your throat. He groaned at the image, tightening his sticky fingers around his shaft.

“Like that,” he muttered, wishing it was really you. Because despite the lewd glide of his palm, the puddles of cum crusting on his abdomen, this was nowhere as obscene as the real thing: your wanton whines and moans, the filthy sound of skin slapping skin. God, he wanted to mess you up—make you feel just as dirty as he felt right now. No matter how many times he’d already seen it, he craved to watch you fall apart beneath him again.

Bokuto Kōtarō

desperate

god, bokuto doesn’t even like masturbating—the feeling’s nowhere near what it’s like to be with you

but when bokuto needs it, he needs it bad

he’s loud: gasping moans and vulgar, noisy thrusts into his palm

fists his sheets as if he’s grabbing at your skin

He hated that he was doing it—it felt wrong, felt like betrayal. He didn’t want anyone but you to make him feel good. Fuck, it wasn’t like his hand felt nearly as good as the tight grip of your cunt anyways.

But he couldn’t help it, could he? Not after he’d seen that cute little selfie you sent him.

He whined, squeezing his cock in one hand and his phone in the other as he stared at picture—at your soft, pretty smile and flushed cheeks, and lower…the white tank you’d chosen to wear for the day’s heat. It was just slightly damp at the collar; beads of sweat pooled in the hollow of your throat. He’d twitched in his pants when he caught that, images of you slick and sweaty beneath him clouding his mind. “Darlin’,” he moaned when he noticed the way the shirt hugged your tits. Shit, he wanted—no, needed that body in his hands, that body he called absolutely perfect no matter how much you disagreed. His fingers slid up and down his shaft, faster and faster, as he squeezed his eyes shut and imagined bucking up into you. He wanted those perky tits bouncing in front of his face, your needy whines filling his ears, your grabby hands winding their way into his hair—

“Fuck,” he breathed, halting his motions and staring at the phone in his hand. He had an idea.

And before he knew it, Bokuto was hitting the Video Call button and positioning himself in front of the camera.

Oikawa Tōru

usually a bitchy top, oikawa gets so subby when you’re not around

he knows you like being tossed around, so he’s always given you that—happily so

but tōru’s never met your dominant side, the one that’d love to replace the desperate fingers he’s got in his ass with a nice, meaty strap-on

or ride his cock till he was begging you to stop

so he keeps those fantasies a secret for now.

but, oh, he’s a slutty mfer. edges himself and whines your name. dirty talks into his pillow like he’s being filmed

“Please—please, baby, wanna cum—fuck, please let me cum—”

On his elbows and knees, Oikawa shoved his face into the mattress, bucking his hips into his hand. Drool dribbled from his parted lips as he fucked his fist, imagining it was you. His back arched beautifully—if you were there, you’d have a perfect view of the little buttplug in his ass.

“Need…you,” he whimpered, wiping the drool with his other hand. “Need that cunt—please.” God, he sounded like a bitch. He wanted you to say so, to degrade him like the whore he knew he was. “Aw, Tōru. You’re a dirty thing, aren’t you.” He keened, imagining that kind of filth tumble from your rosy lips. And, burying his face back into his sheets, Oikawa came.

Iwaizumi Hajime

big BURLY man but he looks so pretty spread out on his couch, thick cock in hand

usually ends up doing it after working out; the testosterone’s flowing and all that

a groaner. dark and low, iwa growls your name

flips through dirty pics of you on his phone while doing it

uses spit as lube. he’s a frugal man—doesn’t like spending money on something nice when something shitty does the job

spit’s quicker anyway. he’s eager when he needs release.

It was all he could think of the minute he got home from the gym: your pert little ass in front of him as he pounded into you from behind. God, he was pervy. He was disgusting for wanting you like this, every goddamn time after a good lift.

But, fucking hell. He needed to cum.

Dumping his bag on the floor, yanking out his phone, Iwa slumped down onto the couch—not even making it to his bedroom. In seconds, his cock was in his hand and his phone was open to the photos you’d taken the last time you fucked. You: in doggy, his seed smeared across your asscheeks and leaking from your hole. His handprints and his hickies all over your skin.

“Pretty girl,” Iwa snarled, tilting his head back and thumbing the precum dribbling from his tip. He spat obscenely in one hand, grasping his shaft and pumping it up and down, up and down, nice and slow.

“That’s it, babygirl,” he groaned, seeing your bare skin behind squeezed-shut eyes, envisioning himself groping your flesh. “Take it—fuck—take it all.”

Tanaka Saeko

fuck me up mama

LOUD by nature—she’s grunty and whiny, she groans and she gasps.

buries her face in her pillowcase to keep it quiet

used to invest generously in lube, but fuck, she doesn’t need it anymore. she gets wet enough at the thought of you: slick and pliant beneath her

sends you dirty audio recordings sometimes, of herself saying all the scummy, kinky things she knows get you going

“Oh, darling I wanna taste that cunt again,” Saeko growled into her phone, hoping the mic picked up the lewd sound of her fingers at work in the gaps between the words. She was going at it—slipping them in and out, rubbing her puffy clit, whining at the feeling.

“Fuck, I miss you,” she panted, “Miss havin’ you on my tongue.” She was babbling now—groaning nonsense about all the filthy things she wanted to do to you. “Wanna leave my mark all over you, sweet girl—hickies on your thighs, on those tits—fuck.”

She whimpered, the image of your perfect breasts swimming behind her eyes. She remembered the last time you’d been intimate together: the dark, red and purple splotches she’d left all over your chest, your neck, your waist. Saeko knew they wouldn’t have faded yet. You were still walking around, marred with the evidence of her. She clenched around her fingers at the thought. “God, wanna…ruin you, babe,” she whined, picking up her pace. “Need everyone to know…you’re mine.”

Kageyama Tobio

ashamed of the act. does it in the shower to feel less gross

since meeting you, kageyama’s far better about communicating his needs: sexual or otherwise. but years of repression are hard to unlearn, and he reverts to his old ways sometimes. his masturbation habits are a prime example of this

he’s terrified of asking you for too much. it feels wrong to want you as much as he does—as often as he does. he’s convinced you’ll think him perverted if he admits to it

so he settles for fixing his problems himself, under warm water and in clench-jawed silence

bites down on a knuckle to keep his sounds at bay, but…sometimes?

sometimes, he whimpers.

The water was tepid, but liquid heat was bleeding through Kageyama’s veins. He squeezed his length in one soapy hand, gliding his fingers up and down . His other hand was clasped prettily over his mouth.

Because he couldn’t let you hear him.

You were right outside the bathroom—stretched out lazily on his bed, reading something on your computer. God, you hadn’t been trying to seduce him, he knew that. But seeing you in those plush little lounge shorts, in that tight, worn t-shirt that hugged your braless tits…oh, fuck. He’d mumbled something about needing to shower and then ran the hell out of there.

And now: he felt so depraved. Sudsy water streamed down his tense muscles as he worked his cock, rutting his hips into his hand. He shouldn’t want you like this; you were clever and soft and you deserved more than the vulgar way he kept groaning your name. “Baby,” he whined softly, envisioning the gentle curve of your breasts in that godforsaken shirt. He wanted to tear the damn thing off you, grab each tit in his hands, tweak your pert nipples, and bury his face right in between—

“Fuck,” he mewled. Loudly.

“Tobio?” your voice called from the other room.

Shit, Kageyama thought. Shit, shit, shit. But it was fine, right? You were locked out of the bathroom. You couldn’t see him like this.

But then, in horror, Kageyama watched the doorknob turn. His blood ran cold as he realized: he’d forgotten to lock the door.

thank you so much for reading!

requests for more hikayuu headcannons/drabbles are officially OPEN! please drop by with your ideas and follow @eashn for more :)

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tbyfandoms · 10 months

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Flowers | Austin Butler x Reader

Pairing: austin butler x f!reader

Word Count: 3k

Summary: after making a quick run to the store, austin comes home with a surprise for his favorite girl in the world (requested)

Warnings: none

Masterlist/Request Form | Ask/Tell/Request

A/N: I swear it takes the bare minimum for me to go off in delulu land and create a whole scenario of some cute domestic ish about one of my faves lmao! thank you to the anon who requested I write this, you truly fed into my fantasies and I appreciate the excitement. I know it’s been a while since I’ve uploaded a fic so I figured I’d finally try to sit down and write something quick and get it out for the last day of austin’s birth month! I hope you guys enjoy sentimental aus and the dash of horndoginess I threw in there. after finding out about a certain *ehem* tidbit, I saw an opportunity to include the fact austin is an ass man-ANYWAYS! as always lmk what you think! <3

also important side-note! for right now I think I am going to hold off on accepting any new requests for a while. I have quite a few backed up in my ask box that I really wanna get out for the people who sent them in and are patiently waiting! I can’t stop ya’ll from sending things in, but please know that at the moment the requests I have on my currently writing page are my current priorities and it might be a while until I get to yours!

“God, there’s literally nothing on,” you grumble after skipping past yet another movie preview on Netflix.

It’s both yours and Austin’s first off day together in such a long time and all you want to do is cuddle and watch a good film, but it’s like nothing is catching your attention, and at this point you kinda just want to rewatch a comfort film and call it a day. You doubt Austin will put up much of a fight.

The blonde did leave you in charge of finding something to watch while he went off to gather snacks, so he can’t complain too much if you two end up watching a movie you’ve both seen a hundred times, right?

While an idea starts to form in your mind and you quickly scroll to the search bar, soft footsteps from the kitchen make their way to you.

“Baby, I’m headin’ out the store really quick, I just need to pick up a few things before we get started. D’you need anything?”

Your boyfriend’s voice immediately takes your attention away from the black and red screen you’ve been staring at for the past ten minutes. Needless to say the interruption and new view is much appreciated. You swear to yourself that Austin could walk out of a place wearing just a trash bag and he’d still be the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid eyes on.

He looks so soft and cuddly in his cotton shirt and track pants that it makes you sad at the idea you’ll have to wait even longer now to wrap yourself in his arms.

“Did we eat all the snacks again already? I swear neither one of us is home enough to go through food that quickly and yet somehow we always do,” you say as you shake your head lightly.

Austin’s soft chuckle drifts through the air. “It blows my mind too, sweetheart.” The actor moves closer to the front door and begins to put his shoes on—grey and black Adidas with the white stripes, his latest favorites. “I mean we have stuff but I wanna get you some of those candies you like to have when we go to the movies, I figured we could really make it our own little film experience, y’know?”

You scrunch your nose in fondness at the sentiment and get up off the couch to meet your boyfriend at the door. He grabs one of his many baseball caps and settles it atop his blonde waves. You notice how thick Austin’s hair is getting, the hat sliding snuggly over his head.

“Awh, Aus, I’d love that, that sounds amazing,” you grin, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around his neck. “Now, tell me, how would you feel about me picking a certain favorite Gosling film for our movie?”

You grin cheekily at Austin, seeing the flicker of realization in his eyes as he understands exactly which film you’re referencing. Between the two of you, there really is no other Ryan Gosling film it could be besides—you guessed it—The Notebook.

“You’re really gonna make me cry on my day off?” The blonde teases and you roll your eyes jokingly in response. After you and Austin started dating, it didn’t take long for the two of you to go in depth about your favorite films—I mean, it was only fitting—and it was only then did you discover his love for The Notebook. Although written off as a typical, cheesy romance film, it’s so much more than that and Austin was one of the only people to see it as such. The both of you talked for ages about it and no matter how dumb it sounds, that conversation—among many other things—convinced you wholeheartedly that Austin was the man of your dreams. It’s been years since your relationship with Austin started and that film is still one of you forever favorites. You and Austin make sure to rewatch it together at least once a year, tears and choked back sobs included.

“C’mon, baby, you know you want to! It’s about time for our rewatch anyways! I’ll be there the whole time to console you during all the sad parts, and then you’ll be there to console me right after that! I’ll even bring the tissues,” you laugh.

Austin shakes his head and because of your closeness to him you can feel his chest rumble as he laughs along with you. It’s an odd thing to find comfort it and yet you do.

“Fine but only because I love that film—and you—so much. I mean crying in my girl’s arms over a Gosling movie sounds like a day well spent to me anyways.”

The blonde inches closer and rubs his nose against yours, grinning broadly at your giggles that ensue. He swears if he could bottle up that sound and keep it forever, he would.

“Alright, I’m goin’,” Austin says as he steps back and begins to open the door. “You didn’t answer earlier, did you need anything from the store?”

Shaking your head, you respond, “Nope. All I need is for you to come home to me as soon as possible so I can wrap myself in your arms and cry over Noah and Allie with you.”

You’re met with that thousand watt smile again and you can’t help but to return it. “I promise I’ll hurry back, I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”

Before Austin steps fully out the door, he stops and turns back towards you, reaching out his hand to cup your cheek and connect his lips with yours.

The kiss is soft and sweet and the second Austin pulls away you want more than anything for him to kiss you again.

“I love you,” he says before sneaking in another quick kiss, this time on your cheek, and then proceeding out the front door.

The lock clicks into place and as you stand there in the hall, the only audible sound being Austin’s car pulling out of the driveway, you sigh and reach your fingers up towards your lips. It doesn’t matter how long you and Austin have been dating, the whimsical and electric state he leaves you in after each time he kisses you will never, ever get old.

*****

It’s probably only been about fifteen to twenty minutes since Austin left when you hear keys jangling in the door knob.

You figured it wouldn’t take him long considering the store you always go to is right down the street, but the time apart was still long enough for you, so you leap off the couch and hurry to meet your boyfriend as he walks through the front door.

Instantly you notice the small plastic bag Austin’s holding in his hand that he used to open the door. You can already see the wrappings of all your favorite treats peaking through the top and that alone gets you excited. So excited, in fact, that you don’t even notice the way Austin’s holding his other hand behind his back.

The blonde holds out the plastic bag towards you and you squeal in excitement as you begin to dig around in it. “Ah, no way! They actually had them this time!? When I went last they were sold out.” As you grab at one of your favorite snacks, you watch as Austin angles himself awkwardly to try and close the door. It’s like he doesn’t want to turn his back towards you and it’s at this time that you notice he’s holding something out of your line of sight.

“Austin what are you doing?” You giggle, quirking your eyebrow at the way he stands there with a mischievous, yet fond smile on his face. You hear a distinct crinkling sound and you know it’s not from your own bag. “What d’you got there?”

“After I grabbed all our snacks and was headin’ up to the register, I passed a display and saw these.” Your boyfriend brings the hidden object from behind his back and you gasp at the sight of it. “They reminded me of you so I got ‘em for you. Pretty flowers for a pretty girl.”

Austin hands you the bouquet and your eyes instantly well with tears. They’re the most stunning blush colored roses you’ve ever seen and they smell absolutely incredible. There’s a small card sticking out of the side of them and as you read the words written in Austin’s handwriting, your heart swells with adoration.

For my favorite girl

Love, Austin

“Aus,” you whisper, not trusting your voice to withstand anything else. “They’re beautiful. Thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that.”

The actor can tell how emotional you are right now, can tell how much this means to you. He’d do anything to let you know how much you mean to him, to let you know how much he loves you. He’d buy you flowers every single day if it meant he’d get to see that look on your face. That look where your eyes get real big and sparkly and your smile is so wide it makes your eyelids crinkle at the corners. That look that makes Austin want to give you the world.

Careful not to smash the bouquet held delicately in your hands (the bag of snacks now laying on the floor), Austin reaches out and hugs you with one arm, planting a soft kiss on the side of your head. “I know I didn’t have to, sweetheart, but I wanted to. I love you so much and you deserve to be appreciated.”

With the right words to say completely escaping you, you do the next best thing and instantly close the gap between you and the man standing in front of you. One of Austin’s hands finds its place on your lower back, pushing you closer to him, and your own hand without the bouquet in it finds its way to the nape of his neck—fingers twisting in those thick waves you took notice of earlier.

“I love you so much more, Austin Butler,” you breathe out as you break apart from your boyfriend’s soft lips.

“Mmm, whatever you say, baby,” he mumbles against your mouth as he goes in for yet another kiss. You nearly drop your flowers as you get caught up in Austin again, so you break apart before you can do any real damage to them.

“As much as I’m enjoying this right now, I need it to stop for like five seconds before I completely lose myself in you and ruin this gorgeous bouquet,” you giggle, before reluctantly taking a step back from your boyfriend in order to go find a vase in the kitchen to set the flowers in.

“Would that really be such a bad thing?” Austin calls after you. It doesn’t take long for him to meet up with you in the kitchen, his tall figure leaning casually against the doorframe. “I think having rose petals all over the floor would actually be quite romantic. It’d really…set the mood.”

In between spreading out the roses in the vase you found, you glance up at Austin and can see the way his eyes have clouded over just slightly. His intent and emphasis on the last few words of his sentence become abundantly clear, and you try to fight the heat you feel rising up your neck.

Making your way around the kitchen island, you stop in front of your boyfriend and lean lightly into his chest, your hands basking in the warmth radiating through Austin’s white shirt. “You do realize it is your birthday month, right, Aus? Why am I the one getting all the special treatment?”

There’s a soft smirk playing on your lips and you revel in the way Austin tilts his head to the side, his own smirk quirking up at the corner of his mouth. “Who’s to say I’m not getting my own type of special treatment? Looking after my girl and seeing her happy sounds like a pretty nice birthday gift to me.”

Burying your face in Austin’s chest, you barely contain the squeal threatening to spill out of you over the actor’s words. This man somehow always knows the right thing to say to make you melt. “You’re such a heartthrob you know that?”

“I am a man of many talents,” Austin beams. The two of you laugh and you push lightly on his chest to get him to move back towards the living room.

“C’mon, think of the snacks waiting for us! I won’t let your incredibly smooth sweet talking make us miss out on our plan for an at home film experience!” No matter how tempting, you think.

“Trust me, sweetheart, I am thinking about my snack. Mine just isn’t in that little bag you got there.” As you bend down to pick up the plastic bag you haphazardly threw to the side at the reveal of your surprise flowers, Austin comes up behind you and lightly smacks your ass, causing you to let out a sharp gasp.

Jolting upright, you fake annoyance and watch as your boyfriend turns towards you and holds up his hands in innocence. You reach into the bag and throw one of the packets of candy at him. The blonde winks at you as he catches it with ease and then plops down on the couch.

“You’re right though, I did say I wouldn’t miss this for the world, and I am also a man of my word. So c’mon, Ryan’s waiting for us,” Austin grins as he pats the spot next to him on the couch.

Unable to keep up your feigned irritation, you let the smile that’s twitching at the corner of your lips break through as you hurry over to Austin. No matter what happens, you’d never turn down an open invitation from the man you love with all your heart.

Cuddling up to Austin’s side you sigh in the satisfaction of finally getting to relax with him. Sure you two are able to see each other relatively often considering the fact you live together, but it’s rare when you get to just sit together and do absolutely nothing besides enjoy each other’s company. No cameras, no expectations, just you and him.

If anyone were to ask you, you’d say that’s what you’d call pure heaven.

As Austin presses play on the movie and the opening credits begin to roll, you watch as he rips open the bag of candy you threw at him. You take in how he eats one and then sets it aside, beginning to set up the rest of the treats he purchased for you. The reality of it all settles in as it does every so often and you feel a tiny squeeze in your chest as you take it in.

Having someone love you so deeply, having someone who knows practically every part of you from your favorite types of candy to what flowers you would like, having someone who sees your happiness as enough satisfaction for them and truly mean it, is just incredibly unbelievable.

You wonder practically every day how in the world you were lucky enough to find someone like that. To find someone who you love wholeheartedly and who loves you just the same, if not more. The material things—the flowers, the candy—are nice, but nothing beats the feeling you get when you’re with Austin, and you thank your lucky stars that the universe brought him to you. You truly don’t know where you’d be, who you’d be, without him.

“Austin,” you start, looking into his clear blue eyes as he turns towards you, a soft smile already adorning his lips as he catches sight of you. “Thank you for…”

You can’t even begin to think of where to start. You’re sat here looking at this man that’s staring at you with such a fond, loving expression and it’s like words won’t even dare try to form in your mind in a way that would express everything you feel for him. There aren’t enough of them, there aren’t any right ones.

“For what, sweetheart?” Austin whispers as he reaches out and tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, the warmth from his fingertips leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

“For the…flowers,” you say before letting out an airy laugh. “For the candy, for staying in with me and letting me coerce you into watching this movie for the thousandth time, for just being you, and a million other things I don’t think I’ll ever have the right words to express.”

“You don’t have to thank me for any of that, my love, but you’re welcome anyways. I do it all because I want to, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you just like I know there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for me. I hope you know how much I appreciate you. I love you.” Austin leans down and plants a kiss on your forehead before pulling you even closer to his side, wanting nothing but to have you wrapped in his arms.

As your boyfriend turns his attention back to the movie and begins to rub his hand soothingly up and down your back, you feel a sense of content wash over you. When you’re with Austin, it feels like no matter what happens, as long as you have each other, everything will be okay. Nothing is certain, but you’d bet everything you’ve got that this love is.

“I love you too, Aus.”

#austin butler x reader #austin butler x y/n #austin butler x you #austin butler imagine #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler fic #austin butler fluff #austin butler #requested

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httpiastri · 28 days

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PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER TWO (JEDDAH)

genre: angst, fluff, comfort, etc.

word count: 6k

warnings: hmmm nothing except heartbreak in several scenes lol

author's note: guys im really sorry but im pretty mean to paul here..... like it got to the point where i rewatched jeddah videos of him and physically felt ill because i was mad at him LMAO 😭 but we'll get through this together!! this was supposed to include some other scenes but it was long enough as it was sooo 😶 summary for this chapter ig is yn feels very torn between her boys, and so do i. hope everyone has a good week (it's finally race week again aaaaa) !! 💗

also i think the next chapter might be shorter because i just wanna get it out already and i don't have a lot to write about in it hehe, fingers crossed that i can finish it soon<3

(alsoooo i proofread this a few days ago but i just cant find the energy or time to do it rn, praying that there are no big issues…. if there are, i would be so thankful if you could send me an ask or message etc 🙏)

series masterlist

"i still can't believe i missed out on the top ten again. and by just three hundredths, even..."

pepe shakes his head as you both make your way out of the campos truck, dragging a frustrated hand through his hair before pulling on his red bull cap. you can't help but chuckle – he's been like this all day, and all evening yesterday. you understand it, though; finishing just outside the reverse grid pole once again must feel frustrating.

not that you can relate. with a much better qualifying session yesterday in your second-ever qualifying in formula 2, you managed to snatch an eight-place finish. in other words, you will be starting third in today's sprint race, and just the thought of the probability of getting some big points sends tingles through your entire body.

"you'll get it next time," you say with a pat on your friend's back. "i mean, look at ollie. from p-nowhere last week to pole yesterday. that can be you next time around."

you've just come out of your morning meeting – morning meaning starting at ten and ending around noon – and now you're finally getting some lunch in the red bull hospitality. even during a race weekend like this, with mostly evening and night sessions, you still managed to oversleep and almost didn't make it in time for your meeting. you didn't get to have any breakfast, you had to run all the way from the shuttle to the truck, and you even forgot one of your racing boots as well as your phone in your hotel room. thankfully, you'll still have time to go back to the hotel before the sprint race, but walking around without your phone feels like being naked.

"speaking of ollie," pepe starts as you turn left and head into the formula one paddock. "are things between you two... alright?"

your eyebrows furrow together at the pause in the middle of his sentence. "why wouldn't they be?"

"well, i..." he stops again, and it makes you want to shake him. "i heard something. but it doesn't matter."

"who are you to decide that it doesn't matter?" you scoff. "tell me."

pepe sighs – he knows fighting you over this is a losing battle. you're way too stubborn to let go of this. "i heard that you were having issues. that you aren't happy, or something along those lines..."

you stop in your tracks, brain working in overdrive to comprehend what your friend is telling you. not happy with ollie? why would you not be happy with him? "who told you this?"

pepe stops in front of you. "i heard it from kimi, who heard it from... paul."

"what?" your eyes squeeze shut as your hands interlace on top of your head. "why would kimi come to you? instead of asking ollie himself?"

"you know kimi," pepe starts instantly. "he's young and gullible. i think he wanted to go for the see-if-the-best-friend-knows-anything strategy instead of asking ollie straight out." his hands squeeze your shoulders softly and you look up at him, a hint of a pout on your lips. "i guess he was scared that ollie would get mad at him or something."

"it's just-" you sigh. "it doesn't make any sense, does it?" pepe is just about to say something more when you cut him off with a dismissive swat of your hand in the air, stepping away from him and continuing your walk down the paddock. "let's just forget about it. i need lunch."

pepe stands frozen for a few moments before hurrying up to you again. he can't quite read your mood – you look unbothered, but he can't help but notice the slight touch of redness of your ears and the way your eyes seemingly can't focus on one thing for long enough. there's no way you can be over it already.

with pepe shutting up for a little while for the first time ever, you're left all alone with your thoughts as you continue your stroll. you know you should've asked for more information; you should've asked for details, for exactly what kimi said and how he worded it. you probably should also ask kimi himself for what paul told him. but right now, it's like a shadow is clouding your vision.

how dare paul say something like that? he must've known that the rumors he made up would spread like wildfire, as they always do in the formula paddocks. the snowball effect can make something tiny become huge, which is why you're always cautious about rumors. but apparently, paul doesn't care about that.

you're far too enraged to think even straight, and that's why it takes pepe pulling your arm to make you stop walking. you frown – to be fair, your frown hasn't left since it appeared a few minutes ago – but when you realize what it is that he's pointing at, both your frown and your jaw drop.

there's a swarm of journalists and fans following a ferrari driver down the road in front of you, which isn't all that uncommon. both charles and carlos are always incredibly popular. but what blows your mind is the fact that when you finally catch a glimpse of the driver's face, it's neither of the team's main drivers.

it's ollie.

"ollie! mate!" pepe yells, his arm waving erratically over his head. it takes a moment for the brit to find the owner of the voice, but he's tall enough to look over everyone else, and he's soon making his way over to you both. "i know you're popular, but this all seems a little excessive, don't you think?"

"i don't know what happened, as soon as the news came out..." ollie lets out a chuckle before turning to you, eyebrows raised at your expression. "i've called you like a hundred times, what have you been up to?"

"i left my phone at the hotel-" you begin but cut yourself off and shake your head. "wait, what news?"

when ollie starts speaking, time slows down. the entire world around you goes dark, the only thing you can hear being ollie's explanation of how carlos needs surgery and the call he got as he was having lunch. you feel lightheaded, almost like you could faint, when he speaks his final words. "...and they said i will be the one to replace him. i'm driving the formula one grand prix tomorrow."

you don't waste any time before throwing yourself into his arms, a loud squeal passing through your lips. "are you kidding me?" you exclaim, hugging him even tighter. "this is incredible, ollie! oh my god, i..."

"i can't really believe it myself, to be honest," ollie says, shaking his head as you part from the hug. pepe slaps his shoulder, congratulating his friend. "i would love to stay and chat, but i need to be in the car for the last practice, and i have a lot to get done-"

"go! go!" you usher, softly shoving him away back towards the journalists and fans who are still waiting just a few meters away. "we will talk later, okay?"

"of course."

and then you watch him leave – your boyfriend, the soon-to-be formula one driver – with a much lighter heart. this definitely helps you forget about all of the things regarding paul.

at least for a little while.

but of course, pepe stops your train of thought. "does that mean i get the reverse grid pole?"

you've never ever been to the ferrari garage before, so as you stand in the middle of it, you have no idea where to go or what to do; this is completely new territory. thankfully, you got a vip-pass from ollie before he ran off for his pre-practice duties, so at least you have the privilege of looking like a fool inside of the garage instead of right outside the doors.

a fool dressed in a red bull race suit, even. great.

you were in the middle of preparations for your sprint race when ollie texted you, and since you still had some time before the race started, you made it over to the other side of the paddock as quickly as you could. but unfortunately, that meant that you didn't have time to change your outfit into something more discreet.

"you don't look like you belong here, miss," a voice rumbles from behind you. your heart stops in your chest, and you're ready to improvise an excuse or find an escape route when you turn around – but luckily, you're met with chris, ollie's manager, standing there.

"thank god you're here," you say, letting out a sigh of relief. "do you happen to know where ollie is?"

"he's borrowing carlos's room. it's right down the hall and to the left."

you quickly thank him, turning again and making your way down said hallway. the room is easy to find, the two big, red fives on the door sticking out among the white walls. you're glad to find it unlocked, but you still knock a few times before sticking your head inside.

"sweetheart? can i come in?"

ollie is sitting on a massaging table, elbows on top of his legs and head resting in his hands. his eyes are stuck on the floor, but you take his silence as a yes.

"i got your text," you say, tiptoeing inside and shutting the door behind you, careful to not make any loud sounds to scare him. "how are you doing?"

when he still doesn't answer, your heat rate picks up. is something really wrong?

you make your way over to him, hands finding his cheeks and softly tilting him up to look at you – and you swear you've never seen him look this wrecked before.

not after his worst crashes, not when he lost the rookie championship last year. once again, you've entered completely new territory, and your heart breaks at the sight of him.

"ollie, talk to me," you plead, biting back the pout that starts to form on your lips. it's so painful to look into his eyes, but you can't back down. not now, not when he needs you this much.

"i'm-" his voice cracks but he shakes his head, clearing his throat. "i'm so nervous, i don't know what to do."

it's like he's oozing anxiety, and his heavy sigh is like a stab in your chest. ollie, your usually so calm and collected boyfriend, is probably going crazy over this – you know him well enough by now to understand that he's definitely freaking out even more on the inside than what he shows or tells. "i get that. one hundred percent. but," your thumbs begin to stroke over the skin of his cheeks, along his jaw, and then finally across his eyebrows, to which his eyes flutter closed. "this is your dream. it's been your dream since forever, and now you finally have the chance."

ollie sighs, but nods. you're getting to him.

"and it's not just any car, it's a ferrari. do you realize how cool that is? do you realize how many people would kill for an opportunity like this?" you smile at the sight of him with his eyes still shut, eyelashes resting atop his cheeks, messy fringe covering his forehead. even like this, at his most stressed state, he's completely gorgeous. "you would've killed for an opportunity like this just 24 hours ago."

"but what if i ruin it?" his voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, shoulders slumping forward. "what if i go out there and i'm shit, and then they realize what a big mistake they've done by even putting me in the academy? what if-"

"it won't happen." his eyelids slowly open and he looks up at you, seemingly not even the slightest upset that you cut him off. "you're too good to do that. you'll get in that car and it will feel like your second home, just like it always does."

finally, a small smile makes its way onto his lips. it's only been a few minutes since you came in, but he seems much more relaxed now, leaning into your touch completely. "i'll try my best to make you proud."

you pout. "i'll be proud even if you end up with a slower lap than your pole lap from yesterday."

a laugh bubbles from his chest and he stands up from the table, opening his arms wide and pulling you in for a tight hug. his heart is still beating louder than a drum in his chest when your ear is pressed up against it, and you're almost worried it will jump out any second. but his breaths are much more controlled now, and his mind seems much lighter.

he presses a long kiss to the crown of your head, arms squeezing you tight. "i really need to go, because the sprint starts in..." you shoot a quick glance to the clock on the wall. "forty-five minutes. my team is going to kill me. but go out there and show them, baby."

and that's exactly what he did.

though, that's not the only thing you were correct about; your team was indeed furious when you finally made it back to the campos garage. your main engineer, who was supposed to help you get strapped in and fix all of the last details with the car over fifteen minutes ago, was apparently so angry he left you to do everything yourself. it's not that you didn't know about your schedule; you just needed to be there for ollie before his big debut.

everything works out in the end, at least according to you, and you're soon settled in your car on the grid, waiting to go on your formation lap. however, you've barely gotten as much as a glance from anyone on your team. you can't help but press the button to activate your radio. "i'm really sorry, guys. i just... had to do something."

"hope it was worth it." the voice of one of your engineers booms through your earpieces instantly, the sternness in his tone sending a shiver down your spine. "we got a huge fine because you were so late to get into the car, so..."

another of your engineers speaks up. "let's focus on the race instead now. no need to fight."

maybe it was because you got to visit ollie right before the race, or maybe it was just starting third and having a good car. either way, the sprint race was one of your best races in a long time. not only did you pass richard verschoor starting one place ahead of you into turn one; you also overtook paul, who started from pole, before the end of the first lap and got to lead your first laps in formula two ever.

dennis came around to steal the lead from you, but just landing yourself a spot on the podium was enough for you to celebrate. when you scored a second-place finish where the guy in first place was one of your former academy members, it didn't really matter that the guy on the third step of the podium was your ex-boyfriend.

going through all media duties is always exhausting, but it's usually never as dreadful as it is today. sitting in that press conference, knowing that your boyfriend is starting his first ever formula one qualifying in just a few moments. you have to literally bite your tongue not to pull a valtteri bottas and ask the journalists how q1 is going.

when you're this busy, you don't really have any time to think about paul's rumors. though, something about it continues to loom in the back of your mind all evening. especially when he speaks in the press conference, despite how hard you try to not even look at him, and especially when he's asked about ollie.

as the press conference finally comes to an end, you're not the only one who wants to hurry out of there to watch the rest of the qualifying session. you and the rest of the podium trio find a big screen that's showcasing the session, and you all insist that you should stay and watch, despite the f2 staff members' continuous attempts to squeeze the last drops of content from you.

they keep stuffing their phones and cameras in your face, throwing all kinds of questions about ollie your way, but you refuse to budge. you won't let them ruin this moment for you.

you're sure they've gotten quite a lot of embarrassing pictures of you teary-eyed while admiring your boyfriend's results, though.

you follow the timing board like a hawk, but something breaks you out of your trance. "who are you watching?" your head snaps to the direction of the voice – the f2 instagram admin with her phone pointed to paul.

as if you all haven't been watching and chatting about ollie for the last ten minutes.

you try not to, you really do, but you can't help but roll your eyes at the sight of paul. he's trying to look all innocent, hugging his trophy to his chest as his big, blue eyes blink up at the screen in the distance. a year ago, you would've just thought he was adorable – but today, this frustrates you more than anything. "i'm watching my dear friend ollie," he starts, eyes finding the camera so easily.

dear friend, huh? a dear friend is someone you spread rumors about?

the next time he speaks up, you have to physically bite your tongue to not yell at him. "the guy who gave me one position on tomorrow's grid."

you turn your head away in pure disgust. how could he say something like that? is that the only thing he cares about, places in his starting grid for tomorrow's feature race? is he serious?

you want to escape, to just storm off and never speak to him again. but instead, you force yourself to take a deep breath and focus back on the thing you're here for. ollie is doing so well; when q2 ends and he has driven his last lap, he misses out on q3 by just over a hundredth of a second. he almost even manages to knock out the legendary lewis hamilton, his fellow countryman whom he's been following for as long as he can remember, in his first-ever qualifying session.

you've never been prouder.

"honestly, as long as i can just bring the car home without wrecking it completely, i'm satisfied."

you give ollie's hand a soft squeeze at his words, fingers intertwining as your hands rest on top of the hotel cafeteria table. your other hand lifts your sandwich to your mouth and you take a bite, chewing it down quickly before giving him a nod.

you know his statement is meant as a joke, but you know it's just as much of a truth as a lie. driving an actual ferrari f1 car is his biggest dream, and even just making an alright race probably is enough to make him happy. there's no pressure on him, no one is expecting him to perform a miracle or even score some points.

but at the same time, you know he would never be satisfied with himself if he "just" brought it home safely. ollie isn't like that; he's way too stubborn, too determined, too much of a sore loser. it's what makes him. no matter what he says, there's always going to be something inside of him telling him that he needs to do better.

"i think you'll score your first points today," you tell him with a shrug. "i can feel it."

"don't say that, we don't know anything yet."

a shake of your head in combination with that smile of yours is enough to make some hope spark in him. "well, you have the car for it," you start. "and you have the skills."

ollie stays silent, letting the distant chatter of the other hotel guests having their breakfast fill the air. the cafeteria is emptying out by now, but new faces have been dropping in for a long time now, most of them walking by to give ollie a pat on his shoulder or a quick "good luck, mate".

you put down the last of your sandwich, leaving it behind with the fruit rinds and other scraps on your plate. "but don't think too much," you hum, eyes softening as they land on his. he's trying to contain his worries and anxiety as much as he can, but the slight tilt of his eyebrows and the way his gaze tends to dart away every once in a while tells a different story. "it's just driving. it's just what you always do, no problem."

you hold your glass of orange juice up to him and he gets the hint, clinging his own glass to yours before downing the last of its contents.

you're just about to speak up again with new words of affection, but an icy feeling spreads through your body at the sight of paul entering the cafeteria. the feeling soon turns into real nausea, and you can't even remember what you were supposed to say when you realize that he's making his way towards the two of you.

you want nothing more than to stay and keep encouraging ollie, but you can't take it at this moment. you stand up from your seat, giving ollie's fingers one last squeeze. "i forgot that i have a meeting soon," you make up. "so i need to go. i'll come see you before the race, okay?"

he doesn't even get to say bye before you've stormed off.

unfortunately, you have to pass paul in order to make it to the exit, but you make no effort to even recognize that he exists. you keep your gaze straight ahead.

karl, paul's physio, does a quick greeting from you though – as well as a confused look at the candle pressed into a pastry in one of the hotel's yogurt bowls – but then, you're off to hide in your hotel room until you're needed at the track for race preparations.

of course paul had to come by and ruin everything yet again.

with a good race from yesterday in the bag, you thought you could keep the momentum into today. however, that didn't turn out to be the case.

when a trident driver hit you from behind in the first lap, you lost a few positions instantly and after that, it was a bit too tough to recover. you had opportunities for overtakes, and the car was good enough to go through with them, but you never could. you kept slipping up, making rookie mistakes, and falling back even further. it even got to the point where your team came on the radio to remind you to focus on the road.

but no matter how hard you tried, it wouldn't work. the entire race, something else clouded your mind.

or, more specifically, someone.

every time you even caught a glimpse of paul's silver car, it was like something in your mind short-circuited. the memory of your conversation with pepe, the thought about paul running around and spreading rumors about you in the paddock… you couldn't push the thoughts, or the anger, away.

other times, back in the day, you were always good at turning your anger into something positive for your races. if you were upset with your father for something he said about red bull or the junior program, you went out there and proved him wrong. if you heard that another driver had complained about how you just got your seat because you were a girl, you made sure to dominate the race.

your stubbornness was always your biggest strength. but today, it was like your tank had run out. as much as you wanted to completely crush paul, you didn't have the capability.

at least paul didn't have that good of a race, either.

the second you get out of your car, you storm off towards your garage. you know you'll probably get a lot of shit for your performance your entire debrief, but if you can at least get over with it sooner, then you can forget about it and refocus on the next race weekend. plus, you really want to catch ollie before he's away for his f1 debut.

thankfully, you're not the only one getting criticized during the debrief; the team is not very happy with pepe's start, nor his DNF. after they've gone on and on about how costly this weekend has been for the team for an hour, you're finally released, but not without one last reminder to "think about what you're doing here and whose time you're wasting".

it's natural to lose all energy and confidence after a race like this. but the second you're back in ollie's arms, it's like the world around you just disappears. he's always been the best at keeping you grounded.

you've probably never hugged him this tightly before, but you can't help it. the second your arms wrap around his neck, you pour everything you have into the embrace.

he looks so good, so handsome and professional dressed up in his ferrari race suit. not just his prema suit with the ferrari logo on it, but an actual ferrari outfit. he looks like a real f1 driver – and the realization that he indeed is a formula one driver now brings tears to your eyes.

"hey," he says around a chuckle. "don't cry on me, woman."

"i won't..." you reach up to wipe away a drop from the corner of your eye as you pull away slightly from his embrace, shaking your head. "i won't. i'm just so proud of you."

"why are you so sappy?" the scene in front of him brings a huge grin to ollie's lips – he finds you equal parts adorable and hilarious. "i'm just going out there to drive a car. no biggie."

"no biggie," you repeat with a scoff, dabbing your other eye quickly before doing your best to blink down your other tears. earlier today, you were the one saying all of this was no problem. and yet, now he is the one who has to convince you of it. "right. it's just your passion, the thing you love. but i'm still proud."

an engineer catches ollie's attention above your head, sending him a certain look that has your boyfriend nodding before giving you one last squeeze. "i think i should-"

"of course, go," you usher him, retracting from his arms. "i'll be here after, no matter what happens." he nods, and he's about to leave when you speak up one last time. "have fun, okay?"

"always."

who would've imagined that ollie would not only score points in his first ever f1 race, but also win driver of the day, have the most overtakes, and score a seventh place as the second best british driver of the race?

well, you had imagined everything from him coming last to winning the race by horse lengths. and yet, this was all so unexpected. if someone had told you on wednesday that ollie would score six f1 points three days later, you would've laughed in their face. but now, it feels like it's been a long time coming.

you weren't allowed to stay in the ferrari garage for the actual race – it would've been a pr nightmare for everyone involved – so your nerves were all over the place since you weren't able to hear ollie's radio messages, info about the strategies, and so on. at least you get to wait right outside the garage with jamie, chris and his dad david, being the first to congratulate him after such a good debut race.

he looks completely worn out when he finally walks out through the door, but you can almost feel the pride and happiness radiating from him. his sweaty hair rests messily on top of his head, and an ice vest is draped over his body already to cool him down from the insane heat. and, most importantly, the smile on his lips is bigger than it's been all week.

ollie looks like he doesn't ever want to let go of his dad's hug, his face nuzzled in the crook of david's neck for a long time. you can only guess what things the father is whispering in his son's ear, but when the result is ollie pulling him even closer, your heart expands in your chest.

when they part, it's jamie's and chris's times to congratulate the point-scorer, and when he pulls away from his manager's arms, his eyes land on you. you're pulled into his embrace in just a second, a giggle slipping past your lips when he lifts you up into the air and spins you both around. his strong grip around you never eases, not when he sets you down on your feet again and not when he starts speaking.

"i knew it would be hard, but..." he shakes his head, a sweaty fringe brushing against the side of your head. "my entire body is ruined. like, it doesn't hurt because i have so much adrenaline, but i'm going to be in so much pain later. my neck and my shoulders and-"

another one of your waves of laughter cut off his ramblings, and he joins in once he realizes what he's been doing. when you finally pull apart slightly and your hands come up to cup his cheeks, you're just staring into his eyes for what feels like forever.

your boy, the f1 driver.

"this is from your mum," you whisper to him, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "and this is from your sister." a kiss to his other cheek. "and... this is from me."

ollie has to crouch down slightly because even when you get onto your tippy toes, you can't reach all the way up to his forehead. but once you press your lips against his skin, all of the hidden tension in his eyebrows disappears. he's like putty under your touch.

"i'm so proud."

ollie's groans are muffled by the pillow his face is pressed into, head twitching when your thumbs press into some tense areas of his neck. you shush him jokingly, like a mother comforting a crying baby, but your movements never halt.

ever since he got out of that car, he's been complaining about how sore he is. especially his neck and shoulders, and all of the muscles that were most affected by the g forces. you don't blame him, however – he's got a free pass for pretty much everything for the next week, you think – but you decided to be a nice girlfriend and help him out. the strings of whines and swearwords he keeps letting out don't seem to be stopping anytime soon, though.

the lotion on your hands is enough for you to be able to glide your fingers across his upper back, along his shoulder blades, all over his freckled skin. as you're straddling his lower back, you can reach pretty much all angles of his upper body, and the knots in his muscles seem to be disappearing despite how painful your massage seems to be.

eventually, ollie tilts his head to the side, his blushed cheeks decorated with lines from the pillow underneath him. his slight pout is on full display and his tired eyes flutter closed as he speaks. "hey, y/n?"

"yes, ollie?" you reply, your thumb pressing into one especially stubborn knot in his right shoulder. ollie stays quiet for a few moments and takes a deep breath, almost as if he's gathering courage for something.

"you know that i love you right?"

the world around you stops.

everything freezes.

he loves me?

your breath hitches in your throat at the words. it's the first time he's ever said them, and though it's not the most uncommon thing for someone to tell their girlfriend of over six months, they make your head spin.

a mishmash of thoughts clouds your mind. they won't shut up for even a second. but the loudest thought is the only one you shouldn't have; it's about the only person you can't be thinking about right now.

the way that your mind instantly wanders off to paul is frankly embarrassing, but you can't help it. he's the first boy you've ever loved, the first person you've ever uttered those three words to. the only one. and no matter how badly you wish you could just forget about that and move on, he's still a part of you. he's your only real experience of love.

and this just isn't the same.

you want to say it back to ollie, you truly do. but at the same time, you don't want to say it if it isn't true – it's not fair to him.

ollie senses that something is up. your signs aren't exactly subtle, anyway; your movements have stopped completely and he can't even hear you breathing anymore. "hey, i'm sorry-"

"don't apologize," you interject instantly, shaking your head as you start to climb off his body. "you did nothing wrong. i'm the one who's sorry."

"stop that, you shouldn't be." he turns around, staring up at you with those big, brown eyes of his. "i don't expect you to say it back if you don't want to. i just..." he lets out a low sigh. "i wanted you to know, i guess."

you sit still for a few moments, before leaning down to place a kiss on his rosy cheek. "thank you." another pause. "it means a lot, you know?"

"well, you mean a lot to me."

and he does to you, too.

but is that enough?

ollie loves me.

he actually loves me.

he told me today after the race, and... i didn't say anything. i just sat there like a complete moron.

i couldn't say it back. i just don't feel what i felt for paul yet.

what's wrong with me?

why don't i race like i used to? why can't i control my emotions? was the sprint race yesterday just luck? did i really deserve that podium?

why does paul still affect me this much? why is he always there in my thoughts – when i'm racing, when i'm with ollie, when i try to sleep...

i have a perfect boyfriend and a great car, so why do i feel like everything is falling apart?

yourusername just posted!

yourusername p2 in the sprint 🥈 big thanks to the team for the hard work!! and i got to witness the rb p1-2 up close, congrats redbullracing 💙 also check slide 4 for an appearance from me and my former family on f1tv <3

show all 96 comments

user y/n and the prema staff during the driver's parade 😭 they're so cute

→ user her referring to them as her family, byeeee

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user why is no one talking about the last slide???

→ user because i can't talk while i'm crying, sorry

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user great job this weekend y/n !!! thank you for signing my cap 🥺

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user loved to see her celebrate the red bull double podium even after a hard feature race ❤️

→ user she had to balance out the post with that max and checo pic 😭 would've been just ollie & prema otherwise

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user ollie looks like a baby in the second pic 🥲

→ user just a little boy playing with his toy cars

→ yourusername i had to hold his little teddy bear during the race to make sure it wouldn't get dirty

→ user stopppp you're so real for sharing that

49 notes · View notes

half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk · 4 months

Text

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch pt 5 !!!

Actually starting tbb now let's gooo!! It's a long ep so this is gonna be a long one so buckle up kids 💕

(edit: I decided it was way too long lmao so I'm breaking it up into 2 parts)

Bad Batch 1x01 (part 1)

fyi my phone is on 66% and I hate that very much

the way the clone wars logo burns into tbb one 👌

Depa Billaba 👑👑👑 AND BABY CALEB MY HEART 😭

"Hey clanka" ~ TECH ILYSM

Tech straight up kicks a droid just bc he can lmao iconic

knife knife knife knife

Crosshair's snow slide 🙌

Grey why are you so moody bro 😂 the regs just hate them sm

Caleb's intro of the batch 😭😍

"We're all ya need!" ~Wrecker @ me

the dad batch adopting Caleb 💕

"Execute order-" YOU SHUT UP RN

remind me why I'm doing this again lmaooo

Crosshair's body language changes a little each time the others say "order 66" and that makes me feel like the chip activates a little more each time he hears it

LIGHTSABER IN THE SNOW 💕

Poor Hunter sounds so scared when he thinks Caleb is going to kill Crosshair 😭 the way his voice changes 💔

Hunter is SUCH a dad omg

Echo translating math for Wrecker 🥺

why is Crosshair still wearing his helmet!! I hate it here

the way Hunter knows Crosshair is looking at him even with his eyes closed 👀

Crosshair with his sassy crossy arms 😂

their faces when they see the lightsaber drop 😭

why does their room smell so bad 💀💀

the board !!! show Anakin !!

LULA 💕

Tech explaining the regs programing, I wanna know if he ever saw Rex's report about Fives 🥲

Wrecker smashing Crosshair in the face with Lula 💀

"You're more machine than man, percentagewise" BRO-

Echo's dramatic sigh count is already up to like 3 lmao

👀 Omega

Palps 🤢

Tech was looking at his datapad and he still somehow noticed that Hunter was distracted

Not the imperial march 😬

Crosshair: "Republic, empire, what's the difference?" Tech: murder ???

Hunter sensing Omega !! It kinda looks like he's counting the footsteps

okay but she's just so tiny 🤲

"What's that?" ~ Wrecker @ Omega💀 bro was with a kid like yesterday and loved him, new kid comes along and he's like 🤔

Tech really scanned her 😂

Hunter with his hands on his knees!!! bending down to her level!!! what if I cried!!! 🥺

Tarkin EW 🤢

all the clones getting food idk why it's so adorable but it is

Wrecker making a scene 💀

"Hopefully not mental, clearly we'd never pass that" relatable

Omega: 😁 the batch: 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

she really thought they already forgot about her stop it 😭

"I like you" ~ OMEGA MAKES TECH SMILE 👀

aaaaaand Omega's adopted

Echo's so done with them all fr

Crosshair throwing his lunch tray 👌

I wanna see how the fight endeddddd

"I'm staying until he wakes up" 👀 ep 7 foreshadowing

Echo's ptsd 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Omega ptsd baby what did they do to you 💔💔

I want Azi to mention Fives to Echo so bad 🥺

"You owe me 2 credits" they're betting on Echo's survival pls 💀

Echo's sigh count: 5?

can everyone stop roasting Echo for 5 seconds ??? lmao

"Maybe this empire things not so bad after all" WRECKER DO NOT SAY THAT

"Gimme more!" ~ me @ star wars

TARKIN FOR TARGET PRACTICE NEXT PLS

the hand signals 💕

Tech's turn for a piggyback ride

Wrecker calls Tech buddy 🥺🥺

"Wrecker knife!" I'll never get over the lack of need for communication between them Wrecker just tosses it and hopes for the best

Wrecker picking Tech up 🥺🥺

aaaand I'm cutting it off here bc otherwise it's gonna be hella long

tysm to everyone who has been keeping up with these 💕💕💕 y'all are so sweet

I'll be posting part 2 of episode 1 a bit laterrr just to break it up a little hehe

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vandelopa-x · 4 months

Text

Hiii guys! THEORY TIME

So um I've been thinking quite a lot about the new DS2 trailer, I rewatched it like 20 times and also the first trailer again and I wanna make a theory about the possible timeline of the second game + some other ideas in the middle. It probably won't be accurate at all cause Kojima's brain works in mysterious ways but hey, I wanna try cause I just keep thinking about it night and day.

So! The scenes in trailers aren't really in any order (duh) so I tried to figure out the timeline.

This scene. A lot of people were worried that there's no Sam here and is Fragile the one taking care of Lou? I would say that she's just babysitting. Maybe Sam had to leave for something (Go to town grab food, supplies, who knows, maybe it was all planned and someone orchestrated the whole situation so Sam would leave the base so he wouldn't be a threat.) Since Fragile is a person he trusts, he might have asked her to come by and take care of Lou. The place where Sam was cooking food in the 2nd trailer and the place from the 1st one looks similar, so I would say it's the same.

Listen, I don't know anything about little kids, so I used the internet. The measure here is in inches, and the first smallest handprint is at 18 inches. According to an article I read, newborn girls measure at around 19.4 inches, and Lou was still a fetus when she came out of the pod, so it makes sense she would be a bit smaller. The biggest mark it at 28 inches, and the same article stated that babies can grow 10 inches by their first birthday, so I would say Lou is around 1 years old when the whole attack happened. Is it relevant? Who knows.

Then we have the whole this situation. By the look of this person, and the color of the gun, it appears to be red. Who else has everything red?

Higgs' lovely cult friends in black masks. I don't think its Higgs himself, it might be someone he send, but also it could he Higgs? I don't know.

I mean, the hood, the everything, the golden shine on the hands that reflects in the light, his hands appear to be more smooth than fully robotic like the other guys? If you look very hard the crimson color is still there in the first photo, it just appears dark.

No clue what the hell happened here 😭 But there we see that Lou is on the ground and then she dies? I have a theory that Lou could be a repatriate like Sam. Sam became a repatriant because Amelie/Bridget ressurected him on the beach. If I remember correctly, Sam did the same to Lou when the crater exploded at the beginning of the game. That's why they both "survived it". It could be possible that because of that, Lou also gained the ability to become a repatriant. But what if something went wrong?

Here we see that Lou "appears" in the pod. But her silhouette looks very similar to a BT. BT's don't age. What if little Lou tried to repatriate by herself but by accident she split her Ha and Ka. Her soul ended up trapped in the pod, or near Sam, and her body was taken by Higgs/to Higgs. He wanted ravage from what was said in the trailer, and what better ravage than taking his beloved kid's life? It would hurt Sam way more than actually doing anything to him directly.

This is when Sam notices that Lou's soul is trapped in the pod perhaps. See the red lightning? It could be when Sam got back to his base.

Since after the attack the lights in the base turned red.

If we look at the 2nd trailer more, we can see that Sam I walking with an empty pod, so he is aware that Lou's soul is in the pod, thanks to it Odradek can still detect threat. This is so interesting!

When Sam and Higgs meet and Higgs takes the empty pod in his hands, touches it and feels something, he's like, kinda in awe?

Then there's the big red cyborg ninja (lmao). It has Odradek's face and we already figured its "possessed" by Lou and tries to protect Sam. I've also seen a theory about Higgs calling himself a ghost and the Ghost in the machine thing, I forgot the user but y'all are genius 🙏🙏

If Higgs is a ghost in a machine, so his soul possesses the cyborg suit, then Lou also can posses a machine, right?

Also I wanna talk about the whole puppet thing and control stuff here because I have thoughts. I don't know if I remember everything correctly 100% so feel free to fix my mistakes, but in the first game Higgs was sort of Amelia's puppet, right? He was the tool she used to get Sam to her, a tool that would push Sam to go thru America and connect it, to connect all the beaches together so she could destroy the world, as it was her destiny. She have Higgs these crazy DOOMS powers. That's why I keep wondering if in the second game Higgs is still a puppet, or did he get tired of it and decided that this time he will be the puppeteer? We see the strings that are on older Lou, we see the strings of the robots that Sam fights with a gun, I'm wondering if Higgs is also pulling the strings of something much bigger.

What if Higgs is responsible for APAC? The private corporation, the patron that gave Fragile the money and tech for the ship? They apparently never saw face-to-face (Higgs' mask), Higgs has a factory with tech, he has all kinds of robots, weapons, he has to have money, and in the 1st trailer it's said that APAC made the final decision, whatever it means. If Higgs sponsors the whole thing, he can also make the decisions. But that's just the thought that I had.

Also the "chrysalis" in which Lou'a body was in kinda reminds me of the sarcophagus in which Higgs was in, just a thought.

Also these weird ass trypophobia inducing things on Lou's arm remind me of the octopus' suction cups on their arms. It's quite similar to the octopus arm in the pod in one of the photos above.

Alright, that's it for now!!! I have no brain cells left, I probably didn't write everything that I wanted cause I forgot, but tell me your ideas if you want, I would love to read your theories!! Does any of it make sense? I don't care because it's a Hideo Kojima game so common sense or any other kind of sense doesn't apply 😍😍

I love analysing this shit it's like crack with some other good stuff

#death stranding #higgs monaghan #death stranding higgs #death stranding 2 #ds2 #death stranding 2 on the beach #death stranding theory #sam porter bridges

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sathellio · 17 days

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it's the genloss ep 2 anniversary! which means I'm gonna share my thoughts as I rewatch it for the first time in, uh, a few months. enjoy!

1. the Dread I felt at the beginning of this episode watching it live Oh Boy

2. already jamming to the soundtrack

3. "every single bicycle"

4. I love Jerma's speaking cadence as the Puzzler it's so good, especially in the first room

5. it's really interesting to me how the majority of people instinctually pick the middle key

6. the rats <3

7. THE FLIP BETWEEN THE FILTER AND REALITY IS SO GOOD RAHH

8. "another hot wheel?" "vroom"

9. I love the Puzzler's theatrics with the TV and having Rae throw a tape in before he would show himself. he's so dramatic lmao

10. "oh shit a rat!"

11. I think it's cool how each episode becomes more real. like, ep 1 was treated like a sitcom (the characters didn't know they were on a show at all, cameras were treated as if they weren't there), ep 2 they know the cameras are there, but it doesn't really click until the very end, ep 3 they're all Aware. just a neat progression

12. I've been wondering why Sneeg's hat breaks the filter in this ep when he always wears it in the first, but it finally clicked (maybe I'm just a little silly, oops). it's a break of character. this Sneeg "isn't really a hat guy" bc he's a Different Character. the hat crosses wires in a way, and that discrepancy causes the filter to break. I think anyway

13. the please hold is wild /pos

14. oo the hat goes back on in Evil Sneeg mode aka brainwash mode

15. god the long pause when Sneeg gets "reset" and the camera's focus goes in and out is SO GOOD

16. "I see the light" is out, "I'm going upstream" is in. thank you carousel fish talk

17. human sized mousetrap would go so hard (not really related but still)

18. the "it's a push" with the candy room door lmao

19. when Vinny was joining them I didn't notice Sneeg say "they gotta go through a bullet too?" lmao

20. the entire laser room is so goofy

21. the fact that Showfall can canonically teleport people is wild

22. there's at least two solutions for the long pipe puzzle we didn't actually get to do (I know because I found another one while it was on screen), and now I wanna know how many solutions there are just for funsies

23. Jerma breaking the door >>>

24. OOO in the wardrobe room Ranboo says "where should I look?" in the Same Tone they used in ep 1 when we actually helped them search. when they got "reset" (aka scruffed by an employee while walking through the door), they definitely got some memories messed up/some heavy controlling considering they're not nearly as worried about things as they were before. maybe that's why he reverts to ep 1 mannerisms. fresh reset = fresh mannerisms and speaking patterns (I definitely noticed this before but I'm appreciating it again shh)

25. also Sneeg trying to spell something = ep 1 reference

26. the wardrobe room gives DND party that took the puzzle in the completely wrong direction but it's funny so the DM doesn't wanna say anything

27. the Puzzler says he's been doing this for 30 years. implications

28. Rubik's cube moment

29. imagine Showfall casual Fridays. that'd be so silly. cosplayers please

30. the moment Ranboo locks eyes with the camera I still feel so much dread. what a cinematic moment. dare I say life changing

31. THE MALLLLLL

okay! see y'all in two days for ep 3 <3

#generation loss #genloss

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mattodore · 25 days

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hallo river :D idk which blog of urs to send this to (since it has main and personal blog elements), so I'm just going for ur main- Thank you for managing to be one of my biggest inspos on not just simblr, but overall as like,,, a person??? idk how to word it 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

I've said a lot of what I want to say already in my love train and biggest inspo posts, but I js wanna say that ur genuine passion for your ocs AND for media (movies and writing and stuff) has been incredibly infectious for me, in a good way of course. Pretty much since I started following you, I've had your main blogs post notifs on cuz I love seeing the quotes and other things that u reblog that relate to Theo and Matthias, and since following you, I've also, of course, found your side blog, which has opened a whole new can of worms for me, your reblogs about The Passenger got me to watch the movie and this movie has singlehandedly re-sparked a kind of hyperfixation that I haven't experienced in a LONG time (if u wanna exclude ocs), and NOW I have your side blogs notifs on cuz. yk. I love ur posts and reblogs ADKSKDK. I've currently got Tom at the Farm (and plenty of other movies you've posted abt) on my to-watch list (putting off TatF cuz im a little squeamish with wounds at times🧍‍♂️🤧). I've also started to look at and analyze deeper into stuff, specifically since finding your blogs and after seeing just how deep-in-the-guts The Passenger fans get LMAO- Your blogs have inspired me in wayyy too many ways at this point and im starting to feel like i need to put "fyi: this blog is heavily inspired by mattodore" somewhere on my blog AISJAKSKS (jk ofc)- I kinda feel like I'm repeating myself at this point,, but I just wanted to let you know cuz I have a lot of appreciation for you, your blogs and whatever you post.

If you have 1000 fans, I'm one of them, if u have 100, I'm one of them, if you have 1, IM that one, and if u have 0, I died 🤷‍♂️ anyways this turned into a slight ramble but again, thank you man, ur like,,,, kinda cool or wtv 🫵🫶 (also saw ur comments abt joining the server and just know I WILL join,,, later after I've slept LMAO)

WELL... my body found dead in a ditch. thank you... both for being so kind and for telling me all this bc i do love validation lmfao. like you're super sweet and that bit about how passionate i am... like that's. ugh. kind of everything to me. so thank you.

anyway now to talk about the passenger 😁 UGHHHHH i'm so glad you watched it!!! i've been losing my mind every day for the last two months over it so YEAH. love that. i've ALSO not been this obsessed with something in such a long time. it feels good to really get my hands dirty in fandom again, like, it's such a fun outlet. i'm this 🤏close to writing fic again but i'm holding off through sheer force of will. also have definitely been reading your tags when you reblog posts from me and add more commentary about things you noticed!! jerma image let's take the passenger media analysis together

TOM AT THE FARM. I'VE BEEN GOING BATTY WANTING TO TALK ABOUT TOM AT THE FARM. TOM!! MY BEST FRIEND TOM!! i would ABSOLUTELY be willing to take timestamps of any scene where there are wounds on display if you want, like... a safety guide? that you can skip around? or just so you're aware of what you're about to see. lmk! literally would love the excuse to rewatch it again. i don't think that any of the wounds in it are that graphic imo... but there's some blood that gets on tom's arms/hands from a calf being born and i think maybe if you saw it without context that could have looked really gnarly. idk what your baseline for okay vs. yuck! is wrt wounds though, so. lmk!

also join the server 🫵 i'm recruiting you come be online with me

#river dipping #asks #youredreamingofroo #keep #also unrelated but i just remembered that poll you reblogged from my sideblog the other day and ! i meant to say then but forgot #i'm not the kind of person who cares if someone reblogs or likes a bunch of things like feel free to go through my entire passenger tag #and reblog all the gifsets and stuff like idc!! i don't have push notifs on so i'm not bothered by it at all #ik when i got into the passenger i went through someone's entire blog like. without a single care lmfaooo. go crazy if you wanna

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typekiku · 6 months

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thoughts on TYPE MOON stuff

well these are my the type moon stuff i have read or watched or whatever so far. this is my opinion only so its inherently correct argue with the wall or touch grass as the youth say SO here it goes drum roll

FATE EXTRA

boring as shit. no joke im sorry its just booty cheeks but of the not sexy kind. its beyond mid its so mid i cant even act like i enjoyed it. it has an interesting concept and world sure but everything else is doo doo butter.

only good part is nero being hot asf and ig whatever servant there is because i only used nero (lmao i aint playing it all over again) she was funny at times

see shes hilarious at times... im sure CCC will change my mind... right? it has sakura what am i saying its PEAK

also fuck them for including arcueid in this crap

GARDEN OF SINNERS

i honestly dont have much to say about this one it never really clicked with me nor did i ever feel anything about it... BESIDES TOUKO

TOUKO IS SO HOT OMG

clears throat

that aside yea i genuinely dont have any opinion on this series of movies good or bad besides movies 3 and 5 which were my favorites

maybe i need to rewatch em one day and really try to get into it

FATE STRANGE FAKE

my favorite spin off in the whole fate franchise. it has some of my absolute favorite characters and GIL like what else would one even want in life amirite

some of my favorites are:

Richard: the absolute goat and one of my fav servants ever

Enkidu: i want a spinoff of gil and enkidu... is that so hard to ask??

Flat: my son

Jack: my uhhh child ig

alcides: the closest we will get to archer herc but just pure cool regardless

hansa: cyborg priest. nothing gets cooler then that

and many more im already too ti- FILIA - red to mention

i've only read up to volume 7 so i gotta get to reading the rest soon

its just pure chaos and is fun while doing so despite being slow as shit

FATE GRAND ORDER

ok this is the most complicated series here in a way since its so incredibly mixed.

there are some of the highest peaks in fate and then some of the lowest lows so lets see

Highest peaks:

babylonia

Camelot

lb5 (YES olympus and atlantis im tired of acting like olympus isnt peak NO heian kyo its mid)

LB6

the rest of the lostbelts are good but not that good

goetia is an incredible villain

lowest lows:

first five singularities

solomon im sorry the stuff with goetia was peak but the rest was average

gameplay

gacha

serious lack of male summer servants like cmon i wanna see them abs

overall fgo is alright but some parts of it is straight up incredible HOWEVER all of it is seriously held back by being a gacha mobile game and has to work around that limitation

also it has barghest whom i absolutely adore

also fuck fgo for forgetting medea...

WITCH ON THE HOLY NIGHT

now this is peak. the most gorgeous tm work by far i have to say its simply an incredible read all around. even tsukire did not look or work or sound as good as mahoyo did even tho it came out almost ten(?) years after

on the story front i loved it too with a special shoutout to soujuuro being one of my favorite characters in TM (i say this often not my fault type moon keeps releasing bangers)

however mahoyo has two issues for me:

the story is clearly incomplete: i dont mean its just nonsense or whatever but when nasu said its the first of a trilogy you can just feel that in the story with alot of things being left in the air. this wouldnt be an issue really if mahoyo 2 wasnt basically dead....

i didnt vibe with the slice of life scenes as much as i usually do in nasu works: this isnt a flaw in the story more so i just didnt like em idk how else to word that

mahoyo is a great read however and i highly highly recommend you read it or else

it also has touko enough said

TSUKIHIME (original version)

Greatest of all time. Zenith of the medium. Hallmark of media. Gold standard of storytelling. Apogee of creativity. Vertex of invention. Crest of ingenuity. Acme of imagination. Pinnacle of innovation. Epic of epics. Legend among legends. Peak fiction

ok fr tho its actually incredible and you should read it right the fuck now

all of the characters are simply chefs kiss. while the visual novel is incredibly dated and the art is even worse you have to understand this is nasu and takeuchis first ever visual novel made on a barely existing budget.

boy do they make up for that.

the vn is split into two with a near side and far side.

while the near side is really good with arcueid and ciels route (ignore how ciel was actually really fucked over even in her own route its laughable and my girl deserved better) the far side is so much more better and really is where the soul of tsukihime and shiki the main character lies

i cba to review it properly besides saying PLEASE READ IT RN or ill cry and you dont wanna see that do you....

heres my ranking of the routes btw best to worse:

hisui

kohaku

akiha

arcueid

ciel

shoutout to satsuki you finally are gonna get the route you deserved

KAGETSU TOHYA

um it has some cool lore and some really good short stories and... yea thats about it...

dont have much else to add...

play it with a guide because the structure of the game is abysmal

FATE STAY NIGHT

what is there to be said about such a masterpiece? what else could be written about fsn that hasnt been written before? i am but an ant in the shadow of the giant that is FSN only seeking some crumbs to feed and live off of. idk what that means but it sounds cool.

FSN is simply tms best work all around. while i prefer tsuki over it and find the tsuki side of TM more interesting FSN overall is much stronger on most fronts but especially its main characters

Shirou emiya is simply the goat nothing else to be said tbh

heres my ranking of the routes:

issei route

heavens feel

ubw

fate

FATE ROUTE MUST BE REANIMATED RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SABER DESERVES TO HAVE A PROPER ADAPTATION RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

we need more medea and kuzuki holy shit are they cute

FATE HOLLOW ATARAXIA

thank you type moon for making a good kagetsu tohya. its actually impressive just how much better this is then KT like seriously what the fuck did they take to drop this banger of a vn

KT had such shit comedy i didnt even giggle throughout it but THIS

THIS is a emotional rollercoaster of a whole different kind.

introducing the third (arc and medea are first and second) love of my life Bazett and angra we go through an incredible main story intermingled with hilarious and wholesome slice of life scenes that never overstay their welcome

this vn completely changed my opinion on some characters especially illya who went from someone i was kinda 50/50 on to adoring her overall

ALSO MEDEA SCENES YES I WON MOTHERFUCKERS I WO- huh? whats that? fgo basically replaced her with medea lily?

one hour of sobbing later

if you have read fsn and not FHA then i must ask you.. wtf is wrong with you psycho? you like missing out on good things? that wouldnt be me is all im saying

read it.

(in case you're wondering yes there is someone i deliberately didnt mention because my opinion on them is too complicated)

TSUKIHIME REMAKE

im not a fan of remaking classics on the level of tsuki. with all its flaws i still find the original to be good enough to not need a remake...

UNTIL I READ THE REMAKE

this is how you do it folks. the story was elevated on nearly every level and if it was the complete story id say its the best ever in existence ever forever fr. its just that good.

there are three things i really want to point out:

while maybe goin overboard i really liked the buffs all the characters received and in general the whole worldbuilding is so much better now with idea bloods and principles and vampire hierarchies and arcueid inflation scenes (heh) its just epic

ciel got a so much better route that actually feels like a ciel route and not just arcueid route 2 electric bugaloo (and getting fucking cucked)

noel is peak

this is peak type moon and when red garden comes out it will be even BETTER especially with satsuki route because satsuki deserves it

there are some other short stories i havent mentioned like garden of avalon, notes, MAGNITUNING (look it up you wont regret it) its all great and worth the time of reading

eventually i wanna play CCC and read some other stuff like maybe prillya DDD, fgo jp like lb7 traum and whatnot

i just wrote this for fun so dont really take anything i say seriously except for the teeny little part where im inherently correct.

uh if you are reading like or share or whatever tf it was idk

ciao

#fate stay night #type moon #kara no kyoukai #tsukihime #nerding out #arcueid brunestud #medea ily pls come back #fate extra #fate hollow ataraxia #fate grand order

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riddlerosehearts · 4 months

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still not gonna fully come back on tumblr yet but i just wanna say that i... finished my dreamworks tier list... i have now seen all 46 of this studio's movies--well, i guess technically not all, since i'm including the direct-to-video release joseph: king of dreams (which, despite only being at the top of the B tier on my list, i do think is pretty underrated and idk why nobody seems to give it a chance), but excluding the trollhunters movie because i've never seen the trollhunters show. maybe someday i will, but right now i'm just not interested.

so, this all just confirmed for me what i've thought for a long time already, which is that dreamworks is an incredibly weird and incredibly inconsistent studio. they've created some of the most beautiful and magical animated films of all time with releases like how to train your dragon, rise of the guardians, and prince of egypt, and some of the most absolute bottom of the barrel trash i've ever had to experience with things like antz, shark tale, and boss baby. and then they've also made a handful of very middle of the road movies, that i wouldn't really say i enjoy all that much, but which i don't think are necessarily bad either--this is the C tier on my list and i will be honest, the first shrek movie was originally in this tier for me because i'm just not that into it. i only moved it up a little because i felt like i had to admit that it is objectively a pretty good movie that was groundbreaking for its time and paved the way for shrek 2 and the puss in boots movies, all of which i love, to exist.

i guess i should share my final ranking, huh? before i do that i will also say that this ranking is absolutely not objective at all and is almost entirely based on my own personal enjoyment. like i said, i originally had shrek 1 in C tier lol. and i have trolls world tour in A tier because i just genuinely love a lot of things about it and very thoroughly have a fun time watching it. the trolls franchise as a whole is so much better than most dreamworks stuff and i will die on this hill. i also tried to rank things from best to worst within the tiers, but i'm very indecisive and some of these movies were hard to rank simply because i couldn't decide if they were closer to "okay" or "bad", or "bad" or "awful"... i could see some of my rankings maybe changing slightly if i thought about it a little more. for now i'm fine with where everything is, though.

anyway, here's my list that is sure to make at least one person want to yell at me lol:

so, to break it down, my top 5 favorite dreamworks movies are:

Prince of Egypt

Rise of the Guardians

How to Train Your Dragon

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

How To Train Your Dragon 2

(i feel so bad that spirit: stallion of the cimarron got pushed out of the top 5... puss in boots: the last wish just existing + me rewatching HTTYD 2 and remembering how much i love it made that inevitable. but hey, it's still top tier.) and my top 5 least favorite dreamworks movies, starting with the least terrible one, are:

The Boss Baby

Turbo

Shark Tale

Antz

Spirit Untamed

(i watched these movies all out of order and for the longest time i thought nothing would dethrone shark tale as the worst of the worst, but i really did hate antz and spirit untamed that much, which surprised me lmao)

again, if i called your favorite movie bad, that really just means it's not enjoyable to me personally--i'm no professional film critic. also, i feel like the tiers came out sort of weirdly even, and i ended up with 21 movies in S-B tiers and 25 movies in C-F tiers, which really speaks to the inconsistency of dreamworks as a studio. i plan to try and keep up with their releases from now on, so i do hope that kung fu panda 4 & orion and the dark turn out well... but dreamworks keeps doing shit like releasing prince of egypt right after antz or putting out ruby gillman right after puss in boots: the last wish, so i guess we'll see! i'm just glad that i can currently say i've seen basically every movie from this ridiculous studio.

#tbh right after posting this i already thought maybe i should adjust the B tier a bit #like wallace and gromit and maaaybe captain underpants could probably go above the trolls movies #and KFP 1 could possibly go above PIB 1 #but idk. i'm not messing with it anymore.#also i'm sorry about el dorado's placement. it's just really not my thing.

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onyxisnotuniqueenough · 1 year

Text

About Karen Page

so. i know this weird little argument should've ended long ago. but i'm in the process of rewatching the defenders saga and i'm actually in the middle of s2 of Daredevil....AND YES I WANNA WRITE A WHOLE TUMBLR POST ABOUT KAREN OK

but first, i wanted to give a little extra info or context or whatever i'm supposed to call it

here are the links to the posts relevant here

0 (me)

1 (me)

2 (me)

3 (nyxxhecate)

4 (nyxxhecate)

5 (nyxxhecate)

also the comments count too. look at whatever nyxxhecate commented on these posts

I unblocked nyxxhecate since i first blocked them, out of honest curiosity. right before i'm writing this actually.

I just wanted to see if they've commented anything else since then or if they made posts on their own about their opinions on Daredevil. Three of the links above are their posts, and idk if tumblr notifies for that but I still don't want to @ them.

I'm not interested in debating with them or starting another argument, and couldn't care less of they see this or not. I am not writing to this person like i was in my other posts, nor am i answering to their comments or whatever points they brought up in their reblogs.

there is ONE thing they said that rang with me though :

"knock your fucking self off that pedestal you're trying to put yourself in. Imagine the level of delusion one must have to think they're intelligent because, *checks notes* they typed in word salad to defend why they like two atrocious TV characters LMAO. You're on Tumblr not the fucking Congress, get a grip IJBOL"

I'm gonna be honest here - I DO enjoy typing word salad. I enjoy writing. I enjoy writing essays. I enjoy trying to use exact words to say what i want to say.

English is my second language, technically, yes, but I have been speaking it for more then ten years, and i'm doing my best to improve because i'm hoping that i'll get to work in english some day. My accent isn't perfect but I'm confident in my spelling and writing and everything.

I've been raised in french, I've done primary, middle and high school in french, and my uni is also french-speaking. I write everything in french all of the time. But since i've taught myself to think in english first sometimes, and none of my irl friends or family like Daredevil or Breaking Bad or anything i like in general - I don't get many chances to argue irl.

So yes, I use Tumblr as an outlet to type as much as I want, even if that means talking to a wall, but at least i get to talk about (IN LENGTH) things i love - and open some kind of discussion (although i'm not blind, i know that rarely anyone replies or anything, but that will hopefully come in time)

---

Now that that's said - let's get to the actual main course :

Karen Page !

As I've said in the beginning i am in the middle of s2 of DD, just finished EP6 : Regrets Only to be precise. I've already got a few things to say.

but first : I'll only talk about her in S1 and S2 and Defenders - because believe it or not, as much as I love Daredevil I AM SORRY but I HAVE NOT YET WATCHED SEASON 3. i miraculously haven't been spoiled about much, all I know is that Matt wakes up in church after his "death", boxes there, there's some kind of detective that seems important and he fights with Fisk again in his black outfit. THAT'S ALL I KNOW AND LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY.

So.

what do i, Onyx LastName, think of Karen's character.

On my first watch, I didn't like her at all.

Not because she was a "hypocrite"or whatever everyone else is spewing but because I had this huge crush on Matt and was jealous of her.

I'll admit, that's all that my judgement was based on. I thought I didn't like her chemistry with Matt, the way that it made the Nelson-Murdock-Page trio awkward, and how it left Foggy on the sidelines. I like him. I related to him. He was suffering of Sidekick syndrome, with Matt getting powers, getting to be the hero, getting all the ladies, etc etc. I spent my whole life and I'm still actually spending it feeling like I have Sidekick Syndrome myself. If you also feel like you got that you'll know what I mean.

"So Foggy has a special place in your heart. Boohoo. what does that have to do with anything?" You've read this far and you're JUST NOW running out of patience??

Since that initial watch, and after watching countless videos, reading countless fanfics, and honestly my taste just having changed - my perspective of Matt shifted, and so has my opinion on Karen.

I don't think i'm blinded by my attration to Matt anymore, even if he still holds a special place in my heart.

But unfortunately, I still have some issues with Karen's character.

I don't think I've ever really talked about it on here, except maybe with a friend or two in dms, but it's true that I don't really like her. Or how was she was written. This post is not structured or outlined, it's a stream of consciousness...so let's hope i get the answer to that by the end of it.

Now i'm nowhere near agreeing with ANY of what nyxxhecate said, but knowing I wanted to have a definitive opinion of her and make a post about it maybe, I've been looking at her closely during my rewatch - and there are some things I've missed.

So, first, to correct my previous post,

Why is Karen attracted to Matt in the first place?

I made my post about the Foggy and Karen thing before rewatching and refreshing my memory of the ACTUAL EVENTS. I just wrote that in passing after seeing a reaction of that "date" at Mrs. Cardenas.

Here is an updated take :

I think Karen fell for Matt when she first lied to him about keeping the Union Allied file.

You just lived through an intense traumatic experience. You find yourself with a bloody knife in your hand next to the lifeless body of someone you knew and found really nice. Someone tries to hang you in your prison cell at night to make it look like you killed yourself, and no one believes you.

until Nelson and Murdock come in. You're not sure about their intentions at first but they seem kind and most importantly they believe you and are willing to defend you. They're giving you a chance. Not good samaritans but literal guardian angels.

While Foggy is hesitant at first, Matt "I believe you Miss Page"s you right off the bat. (everything's a verb if you squint hard enough)

Matt invites you to his place and assures he'll protect you.

Matt opens up about his blindness and is willing to be vulnerable in front of you.

Matt gives up his silk-sheeted bed to make sure you're comfortable.

All of that when you're vulnerable and Matt is tall and handsome and has this charming smile and ugh. How not to fall for him ? I mean you're wearing his shirt and the beautiful pink lighting in his living room is making everything all romantic. Also if you've noticed the billboard outside his window is for "Xining Airways", company that uses CHERRY BLOSSOM imagery in their advertisement. COME ON.

But then you get to talking about the case again - I mean the reason you're here in the first place - and he asks you an important question.

Did you keep the file?

You lie and say you didn't, feeling your heart beating faster. You're not even sure that sounded convincing at all. And you see the cogs turning in his head, and even if he let you off the hook, you know deep down he didn't really believe it. May seem like me extrapolating here but it IS obvious that he doesn't believe her. But as long as he's not pushing further, that doesn't change much for Karen anyway.

I think that his expression reads that he's seeing right through her.

He believed her when no one else would the first time - but seemingly for no reason.

Matt just KNEW you didn't do it. He saw right through you. You almost feel like he knows what you're thinking.

And again, that kind of connection that you're feeling, in an especially emotionally vulnerable state - plants the seed for love. EASILY.

Any of their awkward flirting before they started dating i am willing to close an eye on.

AFTER THAT? that's just cruel to Foggy and unprofessional and weird in general. Why the HELL are you holding hands in front of whatever DA or cop you just talked to to walk in Frank's hospital room?

Why are you kissing in front of Foggy???

I can understand the thing at Josie's but when you're in the middle of dealing with an extremely important case and Elektra's driver shows up out of nowhere and you're abandoning your partner in a situation that you created and ugh. ew. It's all so weird.

I don't like Karen and Matt dating any more than I did on the first watch but I don't see it through jealousy-tinted glasses and more for what it actually is. misplaced.

Season 2 is the least favorite Daredevil season of anyone I've ever met or talked to and I completely agree that the structure is strange, even if I get what they wanted to do with juxtaposing

Daredevil/Elektra/Hand stuff

and

Matt/Karen/Punisher stuff.

This juxtaposition, while I kinda get the vision, just isn't working. The Hand is the worst plot I have ever seen in my life, and that applies to Defenders too, so that's one reason, but the fact that they tried to mix everything together at once just felt weird pacing wise - and they lost characterization on Matt, Foggy and Elektra's part. All three and their relationships with each other were written weird.

...

Let's get back on track.

Season 2, Karen spends her time investigating and defending Frank.

And that is what she's most criticized for : "protecting and defending frank's actions" and "condemning Matt's lying when she's lying herself."

Frank Castle is a difficult subject.

He is the subject of many debates, wether in the fandom or in the actual show. Is he a hero? Are his murders justifiable? Are Matt and Frank two sides of the same coin? What message is he sending to the audience? How should he be interpreted by his audience? Is Frank redeemable? Is he a glorification or a fetishization of everything that's wrong with the USA? and so on so forth bla bla bla

What matters HERE is what KAREN thinks of him.

Karen is a very determined and ambitious journalist, to say the least. She'd do anything to get to the truth. These qualities that seem very noble at first are also her main flaws. By putting the story first, she throws caution the wind and that very recklessness of hers is what kills Ben Urich, and what compels her to defend Frank so adamantly.

But there's a facet of her personality that I haven't seen being delved into or explained anywhere - her sometimes misplaced but very much there Savior complex, or White Knight syndrome.

She empathized and honestly liked Mrs. Cardenas (a cute old little guatemalan christian lady, who had no one). She wanted to help her. She felt that she was treated unfairly, that all the tenants were treated unfairly, and that was what prompted her to want to take down Fisk. Fisk was using, manipulating and stealing blind people who were already unfortunate. Fisk is lying to the public and hiding his true criminal activities. Savior Complex is activated, now Karen has to find a way to bring him down, even if that means putting her nose where it doesn't belong and provoking the death of Ben Urich.

Now let's look at the situation in S2.

She empathizes with Frank Castle (a man who's entire family got killed and now has no one). He has some kind of moral code that seems noble to her. She feels that he's being treated unfairly, that no one is taking his dead family into account, or what he's already done as a soldier. Frank is unapologetically admitting and sticking by his actions and his code. He doesn't want to hurt anyone that doesn't deserve, in his eyes, to die. Reyes is not upholding her side of the wit-pro deal (She used Grotto as bait, someone Karen already empathized with). Reyes was purposefully trying to get Frank the death penalty for her own gain (she had her eye on the mayor's office) and is hiding a shady past. Savior Complex is activated, now Karen has to find a way to prove that Frank's not all bad and to expose Reyes, even if that means putting her nose where it doesn't belong and overstepping boundaries when she's not a lawyer, and frankly doesn't deserve to get Ben's desk or his job.

When you finally pin down her behavioral pattern and why she acts how she acts, it's easier to understand.

So yes, I understand Karen. (In my opinion at least.)

What makes her who she is is that savior complex of hers, that MORAL code of her own. How she sees herself and what she thinks is her PURPOSE is how she justifies her mistakes, or the risks she takes, to herself. As means to an end.

She doesn't seem to doubt herself or question herself enough to see that her behavior, even if her goal is noble, is not always right.

Her believing that she acts as a savior to others is precisely what makes her a little self-centered.

And, because Matt has this problem too sometimes, she is an interesting character to compare to him.

But now, see, as i've spend a lot of time writing this, my own cogs are turning. I think I've identified what my problem is with Karen.

It's how she's framed. by the writers. by the show.

We see Matt's guilt but don't see hers.

We see his internal turmoil but not hers.

We see him doubt himself all the time and seek for answers in his faith or in people but not her.

If we got to see Karen doubt herself more, show more of her guilt over her killing Wesley, her causing the death of Urich, that would make for a much more likeable and relateable character.

When she argues with Matt or something, what she says makes it seems "hypocritical" of her not to hold herself to the same moral standards than she does others.

But I don't think seeing the flaws in others means you don't see your own. Again, if we had seen Karen questioning and doubting herself, and feeling guilty for what she's done (and not just crying or having ONE nightmare about it. Her trauma should have been more explored in general. from the beginning.) then we'd see that she is self-aware and recognizes her own mistakes and her continuing to feed into her savior complex is her way of finding closure. or trying to save herself from being completely consumed by her own guilt.

So yes. I don't like Karen, not because I don't like her, but be..cause...I wish... we'd seen more of her? or at least framed her differently?

I didn't think I'd reach that conclusion. I thought I'd actually find a real reason not to like HER.

But that's maïeutique for you i guess. or to put it differently, rubber-ducking, right? Isn't that programming lingo?

Also maybe i'm not completely over how Matt and Karen third-wheeled Foggy. or how Matt doesn't really fit with any of his on-screen love interests and how I wish they hadn't dated. but that's a story for another day.

Thank you for reading this far, if you're still here! Tell me your thoughts and opinions on Karen or my own way of explaining it :)

#daredevil #karen page #matt murdock #foggy nelson #netflix daredevil #marvel netflix

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