#was kinda disconcerting
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mia!! i’m here to tell you that your idea of putting honey in The Tea is genius. You’ve upgraded my tea game x100
omg jess this makes me so happy to hear isn’t is DELICIOUS!!!!! i love that we’re helping each other level up our tea games
#i also tried the jam and toast tea last night#SO GOOD#i think I still prefer biscuit only because the fact it tasted so distinctly of jam and toast#was kinda disconcerting#but soooooo yummy the honey worked so well there too#ask#lesbiandiaz#mia talks tea
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Glow, sorry, you look cute and all dressed as a doll but
Why are you white
#shining nikki#shining nikki glow#she does rock the porcelain doll look#but it's still kinda disconcerting#she looks like an actual doll#unlike lilibet who looks like a girl dressed as a doll
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is msh ever getting finished? i got so attached to them…
Hopefully yes. MSH suffered very hard from what RnS is suffering from now: a handful of chapters that, for no good reason, are terribly hard to write. I started and stopped the current chapter of MSH at least 8 times, and will probably do it 8 more times before it stops feeling like an awkward mess.
All that to say I plan on coming back to it, just as soon as it cooperates with me again. In the meantime, here's a snippet of the chapter that'll probably be cut but who knows:
The mist had thinned to a sheer veil by the time they made it to town, collecting in the dips and hollows in the fields like the bustles on a quilt. The sun worked hard to burn it away, but it clung stubbornly to the ground, making the air heavy and leaving dewdrops on every surface in sight. Even the windows of the houses were streaked with damp as though rain had passed over, and the half-clouded sky made the illusion all the more convincing.
This early in the morning, Haltvale was slow to come to life, but it was. Gardens were being tended, and people walked in pairs or small groups to their errands, rubbing sleep from their eyes and talking quietly. Theirs was the only wagon on the main road, a slow rumbling of solitary and distant thunder, and folks made room for them as though they were a rain cloud passing through. Ren frowned when he noticed it, casting puzzled looks at all the wary glances in their direction. The prickling of eyes watching etched patterns across his spine, and it disturbed him even more when he turned to confront those stares, only the watch as gazes abruptly averted and paces quickened. Doc seemed to sense it too, because he kept his eyes on the road, his expression grave. His normal bright and welcoming greetings were absent, replaced by hunched shoulders and the firm line of his frown.
"Did something happen?" Ren whispered, biting his lip nervously. "Everyone's on edge."
"Well I don't know, Ren," Doc smiled grimly, "has something happened in the past couple days that might put people on edge?"
Ren winced and rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. He let the conversation drop just as quickly as it started, the trundle of their wheels on the rutted road filling the silence. At last, Doc pulled them to a stop by the general store and stepped off.
"Alright," Doc said, "you two stay close. I won't be long."
"We won't get carried off by any creatures in town, Doc," Gem said, poking her head up from the back of the wagon. "Besides, I need fabric, and you suck at picking it out."
"Fabric?" Ren asked, raising an eyebrow. "What in the world would you need fabric for?"
"Because someone keeps getting his shirts shredded by some creature in the woods." Gem answered with a narrow-eyed smile, daring him to argue. Ren coughed awkwardly into his hand and suggested: "My favorite color is red."
"You'll get what I get you," Gem sniffed, hopping down from the wagon.
"Am I the only one grounded to the wagon, then?" Ren asked.
"You're not grounded," Doc said, his voice dropping just a hint lower. "I ahm… I don’t want to be in town very long, alright? Meet back at the cart in an hour, two hours tops?"
Ren shrugged, settling back in his seat as comfortably as the wooden bench would allow. “You two have fun.”
“Weren't you just complaining about being grounded?” Gem asked, crossing her arms in feigned indignation.
“Well now that I know I'm not grounded, I'm choosing to stay here and nap while you two go do your errands,” Ren sniffed, pillowing his arms behind his head and reclining in a shaft of weak sunlight that dared to peak out of the clouds. “Go on, shoo.”
#answering asks#anonymous#monsters splitting hairs#kinda jaded about my writing atm sorry anon#im worried the Spring Slump has finally settled in#i dont want to do another haitus this year#it didnt feel good last year and it went on for far too long#i feel like i wasted a lot of time#but theres also not much i can do about it#[disconcerted noises]
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probably looks like a dumb post incoming, but eh, I'm curious now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (please do not look at notes/tags before voting!)
#i think I've accidentally berenstain bears-ed myself here somehow#because how fandom portrays it went is VERY MUCH NOT how I remember it happening!#and it's kinda disconcerting ngl#fuck i need to get that replay started to refresh my memory.#pokemon legends arceus#legends arceus
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been laughing for the past ten minutes at the opening for this essay oh my fucking god 😭😭
link to the essay!
#the essays called “What is the Antonym of Sin?”: A Study of Dazai Osamu's Confrontation with God btw!!!#and its kinda a belter so far i love to say it#idk what id do if smn told me my view on religion was disconcerting confused and oblivious like#id sob#FHDSKJFH#lea.txt#dazai osamu#osamu dazai
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only good thing abt the vous situation is that it lets me experience tecteun calling 13 the child that im 100% convinced she actually would bc shes the only one who uses tu for her
#what language do you think theyre actually speaking#bc like on top of all the other um disconcerting stuff abt the whole situation on that spaceship for 13#iamgine walking into that tree room and refinding that woman there and then she starts talking to you in like. this ancient gallifreyan#like old high gallifreyan hours#a language you only kinda learnt at school a couple millennia ago#im a big believer of the doctor and the master speaking gallifreyan when theyre alone i have fun with that in fic#(i dont think they speak entirely the same native language i think gallifryan is a diglossia but not the point)#but neither of them Speak old high like thats a dead language#i think 13 would drop into gallifreyan after opening in english#'hello im the doctor' in you know good old sheffield english#and then tecteun responds with 'i know' but in like....fucking latin#latin is probably not the best analogy but i dont know the history of english#old english i gues but we dont really learn that in school#anyway imagine how disconcerting#and i imagine she'd switch to gallifreyan sure but like. her modern mountain gallifreyan from lungbarrow right?#that vs tecteuns fucking classical dead textbook gallifreyan#or thats how it would feel to the doctor bc tecteun is pre-timelord. this is just her language#or....her language would be what would later become old high#so maybe she speaks to her Child as she used to actual eons ago#and to the doctor the closest this sounds like is old high gallifreyan bc she doesnt remember this language any more than tecteuns eyes#it's close-enough-sorta-dead-gallifreyan-???#so she switches to the closest shes got. which is just. lungbarrowian#tecteun trying to rewrite history and the doctor not-entirely-on-purpose re-establishing the one she has/knows/remembers#holding on to her actual history#which tecteun tries to rewrite/unwrite/dig out from under known history with this old old gallifreyan#anyway. more language thoughts of this evening
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(source) (source) this mineral! @spacekrakens - rutile reminds me SO strongly of you. it's the spikiness and the stark, alien beauty.
When fired in a kiln at cone 6 (2232°F), it produces this mottled gold:
#just absolutely gorgeous#also kinda appropriate that my ceramic example for you is this eyeless rat#you have an appreciation for disconcerting 'pests'#also of course rutile reminds me of you because it photographs best on dark backgrounds. something something creepy stories/art#bringing a strange sort of comfort of beauty in darkness
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Oh wow desperate no-holds-barred Julian is really scary
For the first time I can kind of see where mirror!Julian might have come from
#the julian bashir chronicles#space station squad#slightly disconcerted by the realisation that I find this kinda hot#that could very well just be a general Julian thing though I find just about every side/variant of him quite attractive#(tenor!Julian is a total brat sometimes though)#the urge to continue my farscape rewatch has arrived
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Dealing with your dead parent's financial mess sure is An Experience. It's 50% stress, 50% complex collaborative problem-solving, and 50% feeling like you're in the audience of a convoluted and absurd comedy skit that keeps throwing up punchline after punchline.
In six months, I went from someone who had a reasonably well-to-do parent who I was estranged from for the sake of my wellbeing, and whose inheritance I was thinking of refusing to spare myself the family infighting, to being the one who has to juggle several debtors, thousands of euros' worth of someone else's debts, several institutions who don't communicate with each other half the time, and the additional surprise paperwork generated by everyone else involved having signed themselves the fuck out of this mess. I wasn't prepared for how complicated the bureaucratic aftermath of a death would be on a good day, and I certainly wasn't prepared for the bureaucratic bog that is the death of someone whose main response to financial problems had apparently been "I'm not paying for that" for several years.
Thank heavens that debt isn't automatically inheritable in my country, and thank fuck there was nothing substantial to inherit there. At the moment I'm basically an unpaid case manager who will not become personally responsible for his case's liabilities as long as he does everything by the book. Also the book was written by someone who didn't quite realise that a case like this could happen. The standard assumption within the public system seems to be that an estate will have some debt and some funds, and likely end up on the black side of the ledger. No one tells you that sometimes you will get a bit of a clown car parade instead.
Someone suggested that once I'm done, I ought to write How To Deal With The Indebted Estate You Inherited When You're Fucking Broke And Everyone Else Has Fucked Off: The Authoritative Blog Post. I said that I doubt I have a comprehensive understanding of the issue. "You think someone does?" they countered. They work within public bureaucracy, so I'm inclined to believe they know what they're on about.
If I do write that blog post, it's gonna come with a soundtrack of a techno Can Can version of Offenbach's Orpheus in the Underworld, the musical staple of Very Stupid Drama of the Week Explained in a Tumblr Video, with the following caption: "for full immersive experience, imagine that the manic bass beat is a hammer swinging wildly in the immediate vicinity of your head. You're entirely fine because it hasn't hit you. Yet."
#parental death#this is me right now#I'm living a disconcerting stand-up skit that has so many layers that it has gone the full circle via unfunny to being funny again#this ride has an expiration date but until it arrives my choices are basically to keep dodging and to either cry or bitch or laugh about it#or sometimes when a friend asks for an update to make a dying whale noise and scare an old lady standing behind us in the checkout line#seriously people if you have a financially unstable parent and the option to legally renounce any and all inheritance is available to you#do give it some Grave and Careful Consideration even before they die#trying to protect family honour isn't worth it because NO ONE'S gonna come out of this kinda thing without looking like a bit of an idiot#and the clown car ride might sometimes be funny but it might also give you brand new stress-related diseases
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It turns out I have a bunch of stuff to say on the whole Pixy being called Cinderella by Bristow (Wizard 1) thing. Even though it's been pointed out now and then, and I think its inclusion is something the player would intuitively get and understand in the context of the story and characters, I'd still like to put my reading on this line out there. I’m also hoping this post with help iron out the details for myself.
Firstly, I just want to say I think Wizard 1 respects Pixy and sees him as an important ally and does not need to manipulate him (like it seems his grandiose speech to his group has him otherwise portrayed) - this latter point I'll elaborate on later. I get this take from their conversation in the operation after Excalibur wherein he acknowledges that Pixy's prediction on how the conflict will pan out is accurate. He then prompts Pixy to ditch his 'dead end job' but Pixy declines. It's this conversation that Wizard 1 is calling back to when he calls Pixy Cinderella.
Here he's implying that the clock's struck midnight and the magic has faded. The magic in this case being the illusion that Pixy and his allies are essentially heroes. As such, the illusion is not only that Pixy is playing as someone he is not, which is obvious enough from him always having had ties to AWWNB, it also encompasses Cipher. The prince who had enchanted him is actually the same as everyone else - another soldier led into fighting a pointlessly bloody war. Or perhaps, in firing that missile, he also finally sees Cipher as the Demon Lord, the biggest threat in this conflict, in that moment (I'm also partial to him testing his own resolve). From all of this it can also be said that Wizard 1 is ultimately condemning all of the allies' actions throughout their involvement.
The illusion’s path can be traced back to its origins by looking at Pixy's disposition from around the liberation of Directus until the assault on Excalibur. During the liberation and after hearing the cheering from the civilians his overall tone changes from that of a pragmatic and jaded merc to a 'not bad for a bunch of misfits' positivity after Excalibur. This is the mindset Pixy is in when he tells Wizard 1 that he doesn't want to quit just yet.
During the "pulling" of Excalibur Pixy says to Cipher that Cipher's 'got everyone believing in miracles', but he may have also been swept up in this belief too. This is reminiscent of the previous couple entries that emphasised the lone fighter / squadron inspiring others to believe they can turn the tides of battle, maybe even inspiring the player in the same fashion as those entries (5 is more complicated but the heroism is almost always present). But, in this game, that notion is soon subverted in the double gut punch of The Inferno and The Stage of Apocalypse, and so are any of Pixy's hopes in any other solution and any belief (like Cipher possibly gave him) in being a positive force in this campaign. It hammers in what Pixy already knew but got carried away from.
And so, when Wizard 1 conversed with Pixy the first time he shows that he can't see any good in this conflict (a 'dead end job') but doesn't push back on Pixy declining. Perhaps retrospectively he puts himself in the role of fairy godmother by letting Pixy continue to believe in a positive outcome for this war, to wear the clothes of a hero for a while longer. He makes this decision apparent to us through the Cinderella-fairy godmother back and forth between them the next time they meet. It's coming from the place of a comrade reminding their ally of the ideology they banded together for though, just with some snark.
Finally, with the imagery of a clock striking midnight the concept of the eleventh hour, the time just before the point of no return, is evoked. After Hoffnung has been abandoned and the apocalypse happens it has hit midnight, the magic spell is lifted, and nothing can be changed. The path is set and Pixy has found his reason to fight. So, the way I see it, with a single line the Cinderella association pulls a lot of purposefully written theming, characterisation, and commentary together in an effective manner. It helps carry weighty implications in an already overwhelming and powerful moment of the game and, as has been hopefully shown above, provides some extra understanding of the commentary being made by this game through some introspection of prior events by the player.
A couple asides: Bristow's into literature so that provides a little more context to the whole Cinderella usage, though it's only in auxiliary text I think. If looking at it from a writer’s perspective maybe one reason Cinderella was chosen was for the imagery of Pixy running away after he sheds any pretense of being just another passive soldier. And, related to Pixy's Morgan le Fay parallel, Bristow's callsign may be Lucan (servant to King Arthur) but, after an admittedly short read on Arthurian legends, he can also be seen as Merlin who respected Morgan le Fay and taught her magic, and later conspired against Arthur with her.
#i dont have it in me to write like a normal person im sorry#its more than ive written in a long while and its a little messy#im really going off of memory with the quotes so hoping theyre accurate enough#this post doesnt even touch on why i like wiz1 as an antagonist so lemme just put that here#its that battle against him where youre on the knight path#youd think on the honourable path youd fight someone similar but everything in that fight is underhanded and disconcerting#kinda like hes taking advantage of that pride pixy tells cipher would get him killed#and with the way he talks he is like the opposite of pixy who does everything he can to survive while wiz1#considers being able to get a double takedown against cipher a good way to go out#i really like the writing and gameplay narrative in this game guys#ace combat zero#anyway yeah my ultimate ultimate point is that wiz1 and pixy are queer and friends and snark about other people every chance they get
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I love making a character and then them immediately morphing into a knockoff of my dad. Like haha u were a guy but now you're just like my dad in particular and I'll never forget about that how does that make you feel
#wordstag#it's happened like... 3 times#maybe it's that whole like father like son whatever thing. He's bleeding into my personality and I just go haha yeah no that's my dad#I have considered stealing from my grandpa's speech habits intentionally but#one has the exact opposite of speech habits. Not speaking habits. Kinda like my dad but slightly worse#the other would probably be a bit disconcerting to hear in any of my stories because it would likely be received with immediate suspicion#the other other I never met. He was an largely absent thogh according to my dad#he had a cool car? Alcoholic. Maybe thats why my dad is like this#anyways about my other (the first other) grandfather he was really like#well he was in the army and he loves me and my sister#he would always tell us to watch each other's 6 (then clarify that 6 meant back) whenever we left#which would be mildly disconcerting (I literally just made that word up idk if I'm using it right) in any context I would put a story in#though maybe it could be played as like.. a red herring or whatever#first grandfather (metioned) is the plant guy#anyways I'm absolutely starving. Terrible headache.#but I don't leave for another hour so like. Sucks to be u#getting sorta sleepy and tired of old people#<- that was written an hour ago I'm back home now and ate but I still have a headache#might just sleep about it#I was standing outside in the sun for a bit at the end... got a super cheap sketchbook and some free mechanical pencils though#+another tiny notebook. for the soul#no one ended up beating me up over it. Unfortunately#I think it would've been funny#wish I could come saturday just to see the final totals. But alas
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upstairs neighbors back at it again with listening to gregorian chants at a high volume...
#jules.intothevoid✨#I don't even actually know if it's *that* loud or if it's just the sound being able to carry very easily and these floors are thin#I mean I can sometimes hear what they are actually saying if they start yelling at each other so Idk. could be anything.#either way it's kinda disconcerting just sitting in my room and hearing the chants start up 💀#honestly Idk if it would have been weirder for it to have been a one off circumstance.. or if it's weirder that it keeps happening 🤔
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Recently I have not been able to catch my breath just walking for a few moments. Which is strange because I’ve been doing more exercise than I’ve done in ten years, mostly cardio, so I should have more of an ability to catch my breath? Right?
#what is happening#I mean…#I think this is a symptom of my condition#it’s just. a new symptom. so it’s kinda disconcerting#idk
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watching a certain infamous (?) anime
#kinda shit. i dont know why i didnt anticipate the piss stuff but ill tell you i was shocked and disconcerted#i was really likin yuka until she got into all the cousin fucker stuff i am not a fan ngl#''you idiot... you know ive always...'' hello girl??)???????????!#the music is great though and by the music i mean the one notable song
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so uhh does anyone want to let me know if there's rumors being spread about me??? getting the feeling someone's doing that again bc i'm seeing a wave of blogs i have never interacted with hardblocking me.
i'd be more than happy to clear up any misgivings about me because i am really really tired of certain people trying to spread stuff behind my back that has no basis and is provably false.
so if you hear anything i'd really appreciate if it could be brought to me?
#( out of character ) but you ? you can call me king !#[i thought the whole stalking me thing was over but i guess not]#[kind of disconcerting because i thought everything was over and good]#[thing is i never? did anything to the person who did it to start with and i never got closure or answers#[i got a dm screenshot of them directly spreading that i lovebomb people with the insinuation i'd just up & leave]#[which is kinda rich bc i literally... am upfront i have mental health issues]#[& said person had their own mental health issues too so it's just a little odd]#[anyway i'm really tired of having my horizons super narrowed bc someone has some random grudge against me]
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geto sure is a cult leader .
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