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msbigredmachine · 1 year

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On Sight - The Finale (Jey Uso/OC)

The fact that we hate each other don’t mean we can’t fuck. Just don’t fall in love with me. The finale of my 4-part Jey Uso/OC series.

Warnings: Smut, toxic behavior, angst

Word count: 7.8k

A/N: This is it. It breaks my heart so much that I’ve finished this. Can’t say much else, other than enjoy! 😥

For some reason I had Mariah Carey’s “My All” playing while I edited this and it made me emosh. Still not sure why.

ON SIGHT - THE MASTERLIST

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Part 4 - ALL?

The following month went by in one big blur. There was literally no time for you to get any rest especially when WrestleMania week finally arrived. You seemed to be doing several different things all at once and it was threatening to overwhelm you. On top of that, all your hard work was being hampered by an illness that seemingly emerged from nowhere, no doubt thanks to all the stress from prepping for the biggest show of the year along with the Jey drama. You just wished for everything to be over and done with so you could finally get a good night’s sleep and maybe a COVID test in case it was that serious.

Your hectic schedule for this week included Walemania, hosting the Hall of Fame ceremony and both kick-off shows for the two-night extravaganza. Honestly, it was a good thing, as your busyness prevented you from running into Jey. Well, except at Walemania, and even then, you kept a considerable distance from him, and you only hung around for about an hour before apologizing to Wale and leaving the event.

Sadly, there was no escaping him on the final Smackdown before Mania, as you had to conduct one final sit-down interview with the current Tag team champions. It was excruciating. Your brain and your heart were two warring factions; your heart still craved him, yearned for him, but your brain opined that you were better off without him. You didn’t know what to choose.

Though he exuded his customary macho, snarling demeanor, you could still see, sitting across from him, that he was equally as tortured as you were. He barely looked you in the eye and let Jimmy do most of the talking. As much as your body ached to hug him and kiss him and forgive him, your brain scoffed and admonished you for being such a simp for him. Once the director gave the all-clear, he mumbled something to Jimmy before leaping out of his chair and hurrying out of the room. At last, you could breathe again, although it took an effort to blink away the tears and swallow down the lump that had formed in your throat. Feeling a pair of eyes on you, you realized Jimmy was by your side, a hint of sympathy in his gaze.

“Ay, don’t worry, sis,” he said kindly, pulling you into a hug you didn’t know you needed. “You two will kiss and make up when the time's right.”

You scoffed sadly, your eyes on the door your ex-lover just left from. “Yeah, I don’t know about that.”

“Naw, you will,” Jimmy affirmed confidently. “I seen the way my brother looks at you, and the way you look at him. Y’all don’t realize how much you love each other and how perfect you are for each other. Every love goes through its ups and downs, ya know? This ain’t no different.” He smiled. “You’ll work it out. Y’all are meant to be.”

------------------

By the end of Night One, you were running on fumes and just about ready to drop from exhaustion. But somehow, the excitement in the air propelled you, from the fans inside the jam-packed stadium to the wrestlers themselves. You were most excited for Jey, though. Your heart soared with pride and happiness as he made his way down the ramp with Jimmy for their very first main event. He had voiced his concerns to you that he wouldn’t get that spot, that it would go to another match on the card. But you strongly believed all along that the main event was his. The storyline called for it. His hard work over the last three years called for it, and you loved it so much for him.

Sitting with Becky and Seth in their skybox as Roman and Cody battled in the ring to close out Night Two, you were sipping on some iced tea when Becky leaned close to you. “Oh, by the way, congrats babe, I’m so excited for you,” she whispered out of the blue.

You glanced at her, perplexed. Did you get a promotion that you didn’t know about? “Congrats on what? And why are you whispering?”

“Because I figured you’re keeping it quiet, that’s why you haven’t said anything. The fuckery from the dirt sheets was bad enough. But don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul, I promise.”

Now you were really confused. “Okay, what are you talking about? I’m completely lost.”

“Sweetie, you’ve had that glow about you for weeks now. It’s all over your face. Are you telling me you don’t know you’re…” The Irishwoman paused, studied your baffled features in amazement. “Seriously? You really don’t know?”

You felt your insides plummet. “Don’t know what? Spit it out, Becks,” you said impatiently, getting agitated.

Becky leaned even closer, the match abruptly forgotten at this point. “Let me ask you something, dear. Are you throwing up all the time nowadays?” she interrogated, “Are you always feeling tired or dizzy lately? What about your period?”

After racking your brain and realizing this was your life for the last several days, you could only stare back at her, dumbstruck.

Becky grabbed her phone and typed frantically. “I’ll get you a test right now. First Response or Clearblue? I recommend the latter.”

Your eyes filled with tears.

-------------------

“Yo, Uce, you listenin’ to me?”

His brother’s voice yanked him back to reality, interrupting his forlorn, doleful scrolling through his Camera Roll for pictures of you and him together. Jey directed tired eyes towards his twin. "Huh? Whatchu say?"

Jimmy kissed his teeth and shook his head. “Man, you can’t go on like this, Uce. You a mess, moping around distracted as hell.”

Jey put his phone away with a sigh. “I’m fine,” he insisted. But it was a damn lie. Jimmy was right. He was a complete emotional wreck and couldn’t think straight to save his life these days. Even worse, it was like you had fallen off the face of the earth. He had not seen you since WrestleMania. No one was saying anything either, and as heartbroken as he was, he still found space in his heart to be worried about you and your well-being.

"You're not fine, Uce. You miss her. You're looking at pictures of her right now. And from what I've seen, she misses you too. A lot." said Jimmy.

Jey felt his insides clench. “Yeah, right. She hates me.”

“No she don’t. She feels the exact same way you do, otherwise she woulda brushed you off a long time ago. Y’all love each other but you're both too stubborn to see it. You still messin’ with that Diamond chick?”

“Nah.” That shit ended as quickly as it started, to his relief. No one could hold a candle to you.

“Thank God, cuz that shit was not it. Go get your girl back, Uce. Make things right with her.”

So much easier said than done. “Even if I wanted to, I don’t know where she is. I ain’t seen her in two weeks. I think she blocked me,” Jey replied, his low tone laced with misery.

Casting a quick, cautious glance around the busy catering area, Jimmy dragged his chair closer to his brother. “Look, I heard she asked for some time off, so maybe she’s at her parents’ house, I dunno. But that’s not all I heard about her…I don’t know if it’s true, but…” Stopping himself short, he shook his head. “You need to find her and talk to her. But not before making a real, sincere gesture to win her back; something you gotta do the right way.”

“Like what?”

“Flowers, presents, chocolate, the works. Something super romantic and special. And since you got bread, you max that shit out. Pull out all the stops. And don’t forget to grovel. It’s the least you can do for her, Uce.”

“Okay,” Jey nodded fervently. That sounded like a good idea. But one problem still remained. “But how do I get to her when I don’t even know where she is?”

“You might not, but she does.”

Jey followed Jimmy’s extended arm, pointing at the buffet table where Kayla Braxton stood. Jey side-eyed his brother; he obviously wanted him dead. “That’s her ride-or-die, Uce. She’ll choke my ass out,” he said.

Jimmy shrugged. “Better talk to her nice, then.”

Sighing heavily, Jey weighed his options, realized he had none, and slowly got to his feet to make the long, daunting walk across the large room. This could either go well or go badly. He approached Kayla and tapped her shoulder. She turned around, her pleasant smile falling at the sight of the former Tag champ. With narrowed eyes, she crossed her arms over her chest.

“What do you want?”

He grinned uneasily, decided it was inappropriate, and hastily wiped the smile off his face. "’Sup, Kayla…" he began nervously.

She raised one eyebrow, but said nothing. Her fingers strummed impatiently against her bicep. He sighed, casting his gaze down to the floor for a second before looking back up at her, his eyes sad and imploring.

“I need your help with Y/N. Please. It’s really important.”

Kayla raised her chin challengingly. “Why? So you can hurt her again?”

“No, the opposite. I wanna make things right with her. I have a plan, but I can’t execute it alone. That’s why I’m here, and I’d really appreciate it if you could help me out. This time, whatever you want, you got it. Please, K.”

For a few moments, her countenance didn't change, making Jey sweat under her scrutinizing glare. Then, she spoke.

“What do you have in mind?”

-------------------------

You flushed the toilet, rose to your feet and moved to the sink to rinse your mouth. You were over it at this point. You felt so fatigued and lethargic. Over the last few weeks you had little motivation to do anything, and now you knew why. Even as you got dressed to head out, all you wanted to do was sleep. You were sluggish, worn out, and...sad. The literal, walking embodiment of ‘fuck around and find out’.

You kept trying to pinpoint exactly when it happened. Surely it wasn’t any of the numerous times you and Jey fucked each other like starved animals. All the signs kept pointing to your last night at Key West.

The scented candles. The soft music. The open roof where you could both see the stars illuminating the beach below. He took you slowly, intimately. You could vividly remember his moans against your throat as he thrusted into you with an easy pace, controlling your body like he always did. His hands all over you, massaging, caressing, guiding you to breaking point; his soft whispers about how good it felt to be inside you. The sweetest of kisses, the deepest of strokes, working you into a shuddering, whimpering mess. He’d held you all through the night with him still inside you, sealing what you thought had been a beautiful moment. In the morning, you did it all over again.

You could not recall taking your pill afterwards.

So irresponsible, and yet so heartbreakingly unforgettable.

You lugged your carryon behind you as you approached the Airbnb Kayla had booked for you. The ‘staycation extraordinaire’, she had called it. Three days of pampering and relaxation complete with a stocked kitchen, a hot tub and a fireplace for the colder nights. The house was beautiful, a quaint little A-frame cabin far away from the bustling city. You had a lot to think about and this seemed like the perfect place to gather your thoughts. And all on Kayla’s dime, too. Your friend was such a sweetheart.

You walked down the smooth pathway towards the deck outside the front door. Retrieving the key from the glove box, you unlocked the door, seconds away from finding the bedroom for a nap. You pushed inside, coming to a sudden halt at the sight that welcomed you.

It was the roses you saw first. Dozens of red roses in vases lining up both sides of the foyer. Little electric candles lit a runway ahead of you, creating a path for you to follow. Red rose petals were scattered on the floor for you to walk on. Stunned, you abandoned your bags and followed the trail, and the closer you got, the more you saw, the more the butterflies in your belly fluttered, even though you had no clue what was going on.

Music played softly through the house, accentuating the ambience. You recognized the song as “Shame” by Tyrese. Its pleading lyrics spoke to you, the soft piano keys caressed your skin, lured you further inside the house. Your heart swelled coming upon the little vases standing alongside the scented candles on the floor, each containing a red rose. On entering the open plan living room, you stood stock-still, your body going slack, your heart hammering in your chest.

Right there, in the middle of the room, holding a big bouquet of red roses and a teddy bear in his hands, was Jey. Behind him was a wreath with the words “SORRY” spelled out in white and lavender flower petals and perched on the mantelpiece.

“Hey,” he greeted, his deep voice small and nervous.

Seeing him made you extremely emotional. His clothes fit him just right, his brooding face looked ever so sexy, and yet his eyes were so, so very sad. And judging from the flips of your belly and the cries of your heart, calling out for him, you were folding already. You didn't know what this was, but you knew right away that you were not getting through this in one piece.

So beautiful. That was Jey’s first thought when he laid eyes on you for the first time in weeks. And yet, you were such a mess. Over him. Your pretty eyes gave you away; tired, broken...just like he was. He hadn't really understood the effects of what he’d done…until now. He swallowed hard as you approached him hesitantly, not knowing what to expect. The closer you got, the more certain he was that a slap was coming his way.

But instead, to his surprise, you threw yourself into his arms.

Without missing a beat, he embraced you tightly, almost lifting you off the ground as he pressed his mouth to your cheek, your temple, your hair.

“Princess,” he breathed, his voice soft and hushed and relieved. “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He peppered more kisses along your throat, a further apology. A sob broke through your chest as you buried yourself in him, relishing his scent, the feel of his body pressed against yours. It took you a minute to put two and two together, how he was even here and who was behind this.

“Whatever you bribed Kayla with, I want double,” you mumbled, causing him to chuckle and kiss your cheek. You couldn’t stop your tears from falling as you clung to him, not wanting to let go.

Jey pulled away slowly and wiped your tears from your cheeks. “Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry.” He looked you over carefully, inspecting you. Something was different, but he couldn’t tell what.

“We should sit down,” he offered, leading you to the little fort in the corner of the room, with cushions heaped on top of the blankets on the sofa bed.

Settling down inside the makeshift, albeit cute, tent, you watched him take his seat next to you. He reached around him and handed the roses and toy to you.

“These are for you,” he said with a bashful smile. The teddy bear was plush and wore a white t-shirt that said, “I’m Sorry”.

"Aww, this is so cute," you gushed, hugging the teddy bear close as your gaze flickered back to his chest. His tank top showed off his arms and the tattoos on his pecs. The sight of his tattoos made you bite your bottom lip. You remembered adoring the intricate designs with your fingertips; you remembered what he looked like, hovering above you with his trademark gold chain dangling in front of you.

“Baby I fucked up. I fucked up so bad,” Jey started, his irises heavy with remorse. “When I saw you with Cody, I got scared and jumped to conclusions. I thought you ain’t want me the way I want you. I said all that horrible shit in anger. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I'm sorry that I hurt you.”

You sniffled and shook your head as you put the gifts away. “It’s fine.” Because truthfully, you were over it. There were far more important things to worry about now.

“No it’s not,” Jey insisted. “I did you dirty, princess. You don’t do that to people you care about.”

“I just…” You faltered a little, swallowed down your emotions, started again. “I thought we built something in Key West. Thought we were starting a relationship. I learned the hard way that that wasn’t the case, and I felt embarrassed and hurt.”

“I know. And I’ma spend every day making it up to you. I’ma be better from now on, I promise.”

You looked at him, puzzled. “From now on?”

Jey nodded and looked into your eyes. “I don’t know if you feel the same, but I really hope you do. Y/N, I wanna be with you and only you. I ain’t afraid to admit it anymore. You mean so much to me and it don’t feel right when you’re not in my life.”

“My sex is that good huh? I should be flattered,” you joked, rolling your eyes.

He let your little jab slide. You had every right to be skeptical. “Nah, baby. It’s not just the sex. It’s all of it. All of you. The deep conversations, the advice, the banter, the happiness I feel when I’m with you…The thing is, I never saw it coming. Never saw you coming. I was so focused on the Bloodline, on wrestling, protecting our legacy. Relationships of any kind were not on my radar at all. I never imagined that someone as wonderful and crazy and migraine-inducing as you could shake up my world like this. I tried to convince myself that I hated it but I don’t. I love it.”

He exchanged warm smiles with you as he took your hand, relieved when you didn’t pull away. “You right. We did build something in Key West and I wanna keep building. I like getting to know you. You’re an amazing person and I’ve learned so much from you. I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss how you always gotta play with my hair when I’m near you. I miss the way your nose crinkles when you’re confused or irritated. I miss watching those fucking reruns of Chopped with you,” he added with gritted teeth.

That part made you laugh. Disliking Chopped should have been enough to cancel him in your books. “I miss you too,” you confessed. “I miss that big laugh of yours and how fucking goofy you are. I miss your little baby snore when you sleep. I miss your potty mouth. I miss how you bite your lip when you’re focusing really hard on something. I miss your cuddles. You give the best cuddles.”

Jey knew how much it took you to admit all those things. He happily took the small win. “I missed you after Mania,” he told you, weaving his fingers through yours. “I heard you off work for a while but no one told me why. Is everything okay?” he asked.

The abrupt switch in your demeanor concerned him. You pulled your hand out of his. The mirth on your face instantly vanished, and now you looked terrified.

“I want to show you something,” you told him.

Picking up your phone, you opened it up, searched for a pdf document, and showed it to him. You watched in real time as the air rushed out of his lungs. He raised his widened eyes back to yours which glimmered with unshed tears.

You inhaled shakily. "That's my test result. It's the reason I've stopped traveling. I'm pregnant."

Jey felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He scraped a hand down his face, staring back at the big POSITIVE on the document in a complete daze.

"I found out the morning after Mania," you explained yourself. "Actually, Becky found out before I did. I probably wouldn't have known if it wasn't for her. I thought I had COVID again. Never did I think it would be...So, I took three pregnancy tests, all of which came out positive, and got this test with WWE to make sure. I'm currently two months pregnant. I should have told you sooner, but I was still trying to process it all."

Apparently, so was Jey, as he kept staring at the result on your phone. "Wow," he breathed, "Wow."

You observed his stunned features and got choked up again. "Please don't ask me if it's yours. You're the only one I've been with all this time," you added, your voice breaking. "And I ain't do it on purpose neither-”

"Hey, hey, hey," he cooed, immediately squeezing your hand. "Relax. I know it's mine, a'ight? Chill. I was right there with you. We made this baby together." He really shouldn't have been surprised. Two months meant it happened at Key West. But even before that, he could recall several other instances of his and your...recklessness, for lack of a better word...in the scorching heat of passion. This outcome had been coming, pun intended. And now that it was here, he intended to be an adult, take responsibility, and for the two of you to handle it together.

The silence stretched between you, and you shifted uncomfortably. You looked like you wanted to run away. He would not allow it, and held on to your hand in case you did try to bolt.

“I’m keeping it, by the way. That goes without saying,” you said.

“Of course. I want you to keep it. I’ll take care of you, no questions asked,” Jey promised. “We good. I’ma do right by the woman I love. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

You felt your whole world shift on its axis. "Love? Did you just say the woman you love?"

As he held your shocked stare, Jey Uso finally waved the white flag, accepted defeat. He was tired. Tired of fighting the feelings that harbored inside him for months. Tired of fighting his love for you.

"Yeah, I did, okay?" he answered, a little defensively. "I’m in love with you. There, I said it. I love you. Make fun of me all you want, whatever. But it’s how I feel. How I’ve been feeling for a long time, in all honesty.”

“Is it love, though?” you had to ask. As ecstatic as you were, it all felt too good to be true. “Is it love or is it lust? There’s a difference, and there’s been plenty of lust between us.”

“Trust me, lust ain’t the reason I’ve been worrying about you,” said Jey, “Lust wasn’t the reason I invited you to Key West, a place I’ve never taken anyone else to. Lust ain’t why I’m lookin’ up podcast equipment cuz you talked about wanting to change the ones you have. It’s not lust that makes me hit you up to ask what you want for lunch cuz I know you forget to feed yourself sometimes. Lust ain’t the reason I can’t stop thinking ‘bout you, day and night.”

The way he looked at you pretty much confirmed the truth. He did care for you. He loved you. You held his heart in the palm of your hand. No matter how much you tried to fight it, the energy between you and this man could no longer be ignored.

"Well, you better love me,” you replied with an infantile pout, crossing your arms stubbornly, “Cuz ain’t no way I'm gonna be in love with you, if you're not in love with me, ya feel me?"

Jey studied you for a long moment. “So, you’re in love with me?”

You looked up shyly at him, your heart in your eyes. “You know I am.”

“Nah, say it.”

There was no need to hesitate anymore. “I’m in love with you, Jey Uso. I’ve never fallen this hard for anyone the way I’ve fallen for you. There’s butterflies in my stomach every time I think about you. When you’re not with me, I always wonder how you’re doing. How you’re feeling; hoping you’re okay and your brothers aren’t stressing you out too much,” you giggled. Saying it out loud was surreal, but a weight seemed to lift from your shoulders as you bore your soul to him, like you’d been set free from an unseen, yet heavy burden.

The smile that appeared on Jey’s face could light up the entire northern hemisphere. He leisurely brought his lips to yours in a long-overdue move. You thought you’d be used to his kisses by now, but they never failed to take your breath away. Every press of his lips made your heart sing with joy and happiness.

“I've missed you, princess. I’ve been miserable without you,” he whispered.

“Same here, babe. I’ve missed you so much,” you replied. His deep brown eyes bored into yours so intimately that goosebumps sprouted on your arms. He kissed you again, repeatedly, as though he couldn’t bear to keep his lips from yours. You could spend the next three days making out with him like this, doing nothing else, and it would be just fine.

“I’d like a girl,” Jey stated out of the blue.

“What?”

“I’d like a daughter. She’ll grow up to be smart and badass and breathtakingly beautiful like her mama.” He tapped your chin affectionately, making your face heat up.

“I really don’t know if I should admit this,” you said, your voice low and coy. “But I’ve had a few dreams about us being together, and we had a baby girl.”

A smirk tugged the corner of his lips. “You dream about me? That’s so hot.”

“Stop,” you blushed even harder, running your fingers through his short hair. “I’ve imagined a boy, too. Handsome, athletic, passionate and generous to a fault. Like his daddy.”

Touched, Jey cupped your chin and pecked your lips. “I can’t believe I almost messed this up, princess. I’m a fuckin’ fool.”

“Maybe. But you’re my fool.”

“Mm-hmm. All yours.”

You kissed him again, only this time you let everything out; your fear, your desire, your attraction, your love for him, pouring out of you like a waterfall. Jey shared the same energy, and it wasn’t long before each kiss became slower and sexier and devouring, swirling his tongue sensually with yours and making your head spin. As he moaned softly and ran his hands over your body, you did the same with him, desperate to feel him on you and all over you. He soon broke the kiss to lift your shirt over your head and unhook your bra, before grabbing the hem of his tank top and pulling it off, revealing his tattooed upper body. He then helped you out of your shorts and underwear, kissing your thighs until you had to lie back against the cushions to accommodate him. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, and he couldn’t take his eyes off you. As he spread your thighs wide, you shivered when you felt his warm breath dance over your exposed pussy, and nearly wept as he put his tongue on you.

He often liked to take his time playing with your cunt, like he was now, slowly suckling your clit before licking you up and down your pussy lips with the flat of his tongue. Heat bloomed in your loins as you laced your fingers at the back of his head, submitting to the pleasure he was giving you—pleasure he’d always given you, his oral prowess setting your body ablaze.

“I love you. I love you and our baby,” Jey said, pausing to brush sweet butterfly kisses on your still-flat belly.

His deep, husky voice as he declared his love for you and your unborn child filled you with so much emotion. “We love you too,” you choked out.

“Ay, you can legit call me Daddy now, though,” he wiggled his eyebrows with a cheeky grin.

You burst out laughing and hit his arm. “You so corny!” Your eyes stayed locked on his, immersing yourself in the feelings, in your deep connection to one another. Moments later, his mouth was on your pussy again, kissing, licking, and suckling you until your back arched off the blanket and your eyes rolled into the back of your head. Your groan was loud and desperate at the feel of his tongue ravenously lapping your juices. “Fuck, baby,” you whimpered.

His response was a soft nibble of your clit that sent a powerful jolt through you which triggered your orgasm. Your thighs squeezed his head as you came undone and shook with the force of your climax. Never one to take pity on you, Jey forced your legs back open and continued eating you out, this time adding his fingers and pumping them in and out of your core. Before your body could recover from one release, you were tumbling into another. By the time he came up for air, you were a sobbing mess, your knees going weak at the sight of his tongue swiping over his lips.

Jey reared back, grinning at your slumped, spread-eagled frame. "You a’ight, baby?" he asked, and the lazy, sated smile on your face made his dick hard. He licked his fingers, gathering the remnants of your sweet honey into his mouth. “You taste amazing, princess. I’ve missed this sweet cunt.”

Sitting up, he pushed his pants and briefs down his thighs simultaneously, and you whimpered at the familiar yet breathtaking sight of his erection, long and hard, pressing between your softened, moist folds. You squirmed beneath him, and Jey raised an eyebrow at your impatience.

“Hmm, you want me, baby? Want this dick?” He rubbed the plum-shaped head of his cock along your wet slit and patted your pussy with it.

“Uh huh. I want you, Daddy. Come here,” you instructed, clawing hungrily at him.

“So needy,” he teased, taking your naked round breasts in his sizable hands.

“You love that shit,” you repeated one of his favorite lines back to him. His thumbs rolled over your peaked nipples, eliciting a sigh from you which turned into a moan when he leaned down to wrap his lips around each one, suckling like a baby. You held your breath as he slowly slid inside your body, connecting you two together. Both of you released a long hiss with every inch that breached your walls. Halfway in, he retreated, making you grunt with barely concealed frustration.

“More!”

"You ten times as bossy now that you knocked up," he griped playfully. Bracing himself over you, he pushed further inside your heat, but just a little. You wrapped your arms and legs around him, wanting him deeper. Jey cursed under his breath as he inched forwards carefully, cautiously. You could sense his hesitation, but it went largely unnoticed because he felt so good inside you. His lips grazed yours, your foreheads resting together.

"I'm sorry," he said.

You opened your mouth to speak, but he stopped you with another soft kiss.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered again, “Forgive me.”

“Nothing to forgive, baby. Harder,” you moaned.

“I don’t want to hurt you…The baby…”

“I barely have a belly. I’ll be fine.” You grabbed his face with both hands and looked right at him. “Now fuck. Me.”

As though he’d been unshackled, he rotated his hips more earnestly, making you feel him from all angles, and it took your breath away. He began flicking his hips forward forcefully, and your gasps filled the air as you gave yourself to him. You could feel his control gradually slipping away, and frankly, you wanted it all gone. You wanted him to take you, make you his.

“Mmm, just like that, Daddy, it feels so good,” you gasped, running your hands up and down his back before going lower to squeeze his ass. Your hips lifted, rocking in rhythm with his. “Take me, baby. Show me who I belong to.”

Your words were the catalyst he needed, the chains of control snapping away until he was fully liberated. He picked up the pace, rocking into you with increased urgency, lost to the pleasure as you were. He clamped his lips over your lengthened neck, sucking and biting you, marking you. His big hands gripped and massaged your thighs before pushing them down to your chest. This position allowed him to stroke you deeper, digging out your walls, making your pussy quite vocal indeed.

“There she is, there’s my sweet pussy,” Jey talked back to the pussy, caressing your feet planted on his chest. “Daddy’s missed you so much, girl. I can tell you missed Daddy too. I’ma take good care of my pussy now, huh?” His brain was close to short-circuiting because you felt so damn good, but he soldiered on, giving your body what you wanted while you gave his body what he needed.

You watched a master at work, admiring the way his sexy body glowed in the light, his brows knitted together in concentration. Your pulse quickened and your loins moistened as his dick found every crevice of your pussy. He licked the pad of his thumb and placed it on your swollen clit, flicking the sensitive nub back and forth, making you arch your head back with a long, drawn-out groan as you tightened around him. “Oh my fuckin’ god,” you groaned, digging your fingernails into his arms.

"That's it, babe. I can feel you, you're so close. Come on my dick," he urged, his raspy voice syrupy sweet and seductive as he pistoned into you over and over and over, "Come for me, baby."

You could do nothing but let the orgasm claim you, and it did. Hard. You cried out as your body detonated again, flooding his dick with your cum. You squeezed your shaking legs together and closed your thighs around his hand on your clit, moaning as the immense pleasure sweeping through you intensified. Jey pulled out and allowed you a minute to recover, looking down proudly at his groin area.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ bout. You made a mess on me, pretty girl. Got all that whipped cream on my dick.” He gripped his heavy shaft, his fist gliding up and down the length to spread your juices all over it.

“You made me come so hard, Daddy. My orgasms feel stronger now,” you breathed, resting back on your elbows.

“Cuz of that baby I put in you, huh?” he smirked, “You gon’ get this work more often, then. I want you to feel good all the time, babe.”

The kiss he gave you let you know he wasn’t quite done with you yet. But neither were you with him. Sitting up properly, you quickly took over the kiss, suckling his lips in that teasing, sensual way that always drove him crazy. Gripping the back of his head, you nibbled his bottom lip then sucked his tongue, swallowing his moan when your fingers wrapped around his length. He inhaled sharply as you dragged your hand up and down, creating a delicious friction on his shaft. You kept your eyes on him, your kiss-swollen lip between your teeth as you stroked him. His breathing was heavy, showing how aroused he was. Aroused by you.

“I love you,” you smiled at him. Those three words came so easily to you now. You liked it.

Jey’s eyes softened, and he grasped your face with both hands for another kiss. “I love you too.” Kissing became more passionate and sensual, and for a few minutes, the two of you just focused on exploring each other's mouths all over again. You melted in his arms, dizzy from his incredible kisses, slow and thorough, his tongue slipping in at the right times, pouring his love into you.

Changing your positions, Jey gently laid you on your belly and adjusted your knees. Grabbing a pillow, he positioned it underneath your upper body. “You good?” he asked.

“Yes, Daddy,” you smiled, enjoying how extra attentive he was. You whined softly as he roamed your body with his hands, paying special attention to your stomach, hips and backside. His little groan as he squeezed your ass cheeks made you hiss with need. His touch was gentle, yet firm with his worship of your body. Through his hands, you felt his lust, his desire, his yearning for you.

Fisting his dick, Jey’s eyes glimmered with lust at the sight of your wetness. You both struggled to hold back your moans as he slowly sank all the way inside you, making your pussy yield to him. Leaning over you and lacing his fingers with yours, he kept his thrusts slow this time, focusing them on being deep. How he missed being inside you, missed indulging in the softness of your body, your backside, your skin. With every couple of thrusts, he held himself inside you, circling his hips against your pillow-soft ass, making you grip all of him in a tight seal. Your trembles encouraged him to repeat the action.

“Mmm, you like that, baby? You love when I get deep in this pussy?” he asked, reaching around you to cup your breast, playing with its softness and extending your pleasure, all while pounding you steadily from the back.

“Uhhhnnn, fuck…” you whimpered, reaching behind you to grab his hip. This position was more devastating than you ever expected. He was so hard and deep and making you so wet you could hear your pussy. He snatched back your wayward hand and returned it to its place in front of you, gripping your fingers in his. His entire body weight was on top of yours, his legs trapping your own so you couldn’t fuck him back like you liked to. You had no choice but to take it; every inch of him deep inside your wet, aching pussy, filling you. All you could do was moan and groan, speechless, breathless. You felt so wonderfully helpless lying beneath him, being thoroughly ravished by this man, the most brutally sensual man you’ve ever met.

His own sounds of pleasure reverberated through your being as his hips worked you into delirium. His fingers curled around your throat to pull your head up next to his, and that was when he started slamming into you. Your lips parted, panting, as you felt his hardness even more intensely now, his big beautiful cock meeting your sweet spot. Soon, you were shattering around him in another powerful climax. He wanted everything you had and you gave it all to him with no hesitation.

"Yeah, princess, come all over this dick, unnhh, I'm drownin' in this pussy, babe," he panted in your ear, and when you shivered, he kissed your cheek before brushing your lips together. He was burying himself inside you, making you throb around his impressive size as it ravaged your g-spot. When you succumbed to him again, trembling underneath him, you thought you were going to pass out from pleasure. Your tremors had barely subsided when he began to move again, driving his hips forward, chasing his own release.

"Jey! Oh shit," you whined, groaning with every deep, manic stroke, your body still sensitive from coming so much and so hard in such a short time. You could tell he was losing it, and he was taking you with him. You would happily go wherever he wanted you to go.

His breathing picked up with his approaching orgasm. "Aww, I'm 'bout to come for you, baby, fuck, I'm nuttin'..." he gasped, pounding you frantically until white lightning zipped through his bones. His orgasmic moan almost drowned out yours as he came hard, his cum gushing inside your weeping pussy. Exhaling with satisfaction, he pressed his lips to the back of your neck and slowly pulled out of you, his hands smoothing over your ass before curling an arm around your waist and easing you upright. He kissed you hard, wrapping his arms around you, and you remained in each other's embrace, enjoying your reunion just a little longer.

“I love you, baby,” he mumbled against your lips. It felt so good to say those words to you.

“I love you too, Daddy,” you whispered, kissing him back. “Got any food?”

“Oh, right. You must be hungry.” Reluctantly parting his lips from yours, he helped you out of the fort, you dusted stray rose petals off each other before walking together, naked, to the kitchen. The sky outside had darkened considerably, meaning you had spent quite some time making up and losing yourselves in each other. Jey turned on the kitchen lights and opened the oven to retrieve a large platter of finger food that made your stomach rumble. Mozzarella sticks, Buffalo wings, meatballs, canapé, among others; all your favorites. Placing the tray on the countertop, he moved the bottle of red wine away with a sheepish smile. “I guess this is out,” he quipped, earning a laugh from you as you sat on a stool next to him.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” you said, looking back at the decorations in the living room. “This is so pretty. Did Kayla help you with it?”

“Not just her. My brothers and Roman helped, and they did such a great job. Jimmy found this place online. I knew you’d love it so I booked it. Roman flew all of us down to set it up, and Kayla handled getting you here.”

“Gosh, it must have cost so much.”

He shrugged nonchalantly, grabbing two small plates and placing one of every food item in each of them. "Money ain't no issue, princess. I would give you the sun and the moon if you asked me to."

Aww, how amazing was he? "I only want you, Jey," you assured him, gently rubbing his back, "But this was such a wonderful surprise. I love it, it's so romantic. Thank you."

"Of course. Anything for you, baby." He leaned down to give you a short, sweet kiss. He stared at you for a beat, smiling that beautiful smile of his. "God, you're beautiful."

You blushed yet again and stroked his face tenderly. "You're handsome," you returned the compliment. Another thought came to you, one far more important than Airbnb costs and logistics. "So...how do we break the news about us out to the world?" you asked him.

Jey picked out a mozzarella stick and fed it to you. “Well, the world pretty much knows about us already. As for our baby, we do it however we want, whenever we want. But only when you’re ready, and after we tell our parents first. It’ll break my mama’s heart if she finds out about her grandbaby through the internet.”

“Mine too,” you agreed.

“I bet. Also, I’d like you to come live with me,” he added, carefully gauging your reaction. “I wanna be closer to you and be involved in every step of your pregnancy. I know you like your space and your independence, but I wanna be there for you. I don’t want to miss anything. Let me take care of you.”

You liked this a lot. Making plans with him, mapping out your future together. “I’d like that,” you agreed, enraptured by his easygoing, happy smile. “How are you so chill about becoming a parent? I damn sure am not. I’m scared, Jey.” You bit your lip as the nerves bubbled within you.

“Honestly? I am too,” he admitted, taking your hand and pressing it to his lips. “But we’ll work it out, together.”

“If you think I’m a bitch now, wait till I’m deep into this pregnancy,” you warned.

Jey snorted and stepped in between your legs to hug you. “I won’t love you any less, baby. You’re going to be an amazing, beautiful momma. And now that we’ve gotten to this point, I realized we still ain't official. Would you mind if I become your boyfriend?”

He then hit you with the cutest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen. How could you ever resist that face?

“Only if I can be your girlfriend,” you replied just as cutely, fluttering your lashes at him.

“Hell yeah!” he exclaimed, the two of you cackling together before sharing another heartfelt kiss. Resting his hand on your belly, he gazed at your face, his glistening eyes finally overflowing. You began to well up again as you leaned in to kiss away his tears, even as yours mingled with his own.

“I hope these are happy tears,” you half-laughed, half-sobbed, wiping his eyes before doing the same with your own. “Mine definitely are.”

"With you, it'll always be happy," Jey vowed. This was cathartic, poignant even; owning your vulnerability, something that neither of you would have exposed to each other just months ago...It was another subtle display of your growing love for one another.

Wrapping your arms around your boyfriend's neck, you held him tight and stared deep into his warm chocolate eyes. "I love you so much. You're going to be a great daddy," you told him.

Jey smiled warmly at you, his girlfriend. “I love you too, princess,” he answered, brushing his lips tenderly against your forehead. “I’ll be the best partner and father in the world, I promise. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. It’s me and you for life now. I gotchu.”

The sincerity in his voice as he uttered those words to you would be etched into your memory. A myriad of emotions trickled through every fiber of your being as you processed this outcome. After all the bickering and fighting, only for your destiny to be tied forever with Jey Uso, the man you never imagined you would fall in love with. It really was funny how life worked out sometimes.

THE END. FINALLY.

------------------

The end, guys! I’m in my feelings right now. I loved writing this so much😭😭😭

What did you think of the entire series? Which chapter was your fave? Was the smut too much, lol. Do you think what they have is real? Do you want more Jey stuff?

Thanks to EVERYONE who liked and reviewed and gave suggestions and ideas. I appreciated them all so much!

Banner made by me. Credit to owners of the other pics and gifs.

Please leave more comments! I love comments! This is the last one so let me get all that energy, fellow readers!

#jey uso #jey uso fanfiction #jey uso imagines #jey uso smut #the bloodline #jimmy uso #jey uso x reader #jey uso x black reader #jey uso x you #jey uso x black oc #the usos #roman reigns #jey uso fanfic #on sight by msbigredmachine

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twstwonderlandstuff · 1 year

Text

I posted 3,654 times in 2022

That's 962 more posts than 2021!

666 posts created (18%)

2,988 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kuromosu

@twstwonderlandstuff

@majesties-quarters

@lanshappycorner

I tagged 3,467 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#twisted wonderland - 2,273 posts

#etc. - 418 posts

#twst silver - 397 posts

#sebek zigvolt - 328 posts

#malleus draconia - 269 posts

#ace trappola - 198 posts

#deuce spade - 175 posts

#lilia vanrouge - 164 posts

#obey me - 158 posts

#twst - 152 posts

Longest Tag: 66 characters

#🚨🚨🚨🥵🥵🚨🥵🚨🚨🥵🥵🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🗣️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️🗣️

My Top Posts in 2022:

Howdy, howdy~! First of all, congrats on the 500! 👍 I would like to request some separate headcannons of Riddle, Ruggie, Azul and Malleus's fem! s/o suddenly giving them a kiss on the lips in front of everyone and telling them she loves them. How will the boys react? Thanks a bunch!

edit: reqs are now closed! tq for participating!

HAHA CHU CHU KISS KISS ITS ALL KISS KISS

'it's all... kissing?'

'always has been. 🔫'

Riddle Rosehearts

🍒 He turned red in a millisecond. If there was a world record competition on the fastest blushes to ever pop up onto someone’s face, Riddle would be one of the main contenders.

🍒 He’ll tell you how it’s ‘inappropriate’ and how these things should be kept behind close doors, but honestly he’s just embarrassed, especially when he hears Ace cooing ‘Get a room, Housewarden & Housewarden’s girlfriend!’

🍒 “Don’t do that again! Honestly, are you trying to infuriate me?!”

🍒 You silence him with another kiss.

🍒 “!!! YOU!!! Y-YOU… honestly, you…///"

See the full post

1,858 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

calling the twst boys your husband/wife! [3/7]

Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw

Gender neutral reader!

Established relationship w/ the boys~

azul ashengrotto

“oh, my wife? yes, I’ll call him in a moment. azul, love, the phone!”

physically loses his composure as ink threatens to spit out of his mouth. he’s your what…?

he goes through the phone call ASAP, impatient and burning with questions. once the phone is off, he goes to demand an explanation. why did you do that?! do you want him to lose his cool? what sort of joke is this?!

when you tell him that you do mean what you say and want to marry him, azul lets his feelings overflow and a tear slip from his eyes. honestly, you’re about the only person that can make him feel like this.

jade leech

“this is my husband, jade leech.”

as you gesture towards Jade casually to the guests, his eyes go wide-eyed for a second, before presuming into his normal butler self. once out of the public eye, however…

he’s so delighted. you acknowledged him as your husband! your husband!

I’m sure he uses this to immediately tease you, but then you tell him that yes, you do want to marry him in the future and be the one proposing and he WILL be surprised.

you better capture this moment of a red faced jade, because it doesn’t come around very often~

(I strongly encourage you to use it in your wedding video)

floyd leech

“oh… oh my god, floyd- THAT’S MY WIFE, OFFICER, YES, THERE RIGHT THERE, PLEASE HELP ME!”

he drops EVERYTHING when he hears you call him that. he’s your WIFE?! WIFE?!?!?

delighted. absolutely delighted. he’ll drop whatever nuisance he’s causing to hug you tight and pepper kisses all over your face. awww, so he’s your wife, isn’t he? what, do you want him to cook you all the best dishes, hmm~?

this is the best way to cheer him up if he’s having a bad day, just call him with that word and he’ll perk right up(also continues after you guys are married)!

“floyd…”

“piss off, I’m not in the mood azul.”

sighs “tell him, s/o.”

“floyd, my wife-!”

“yeah, what’s up? got a job for me, azul~?”

[azul gives you his thanks for floyd’s easy mood lifter.]

he’ll probably record it in private and smile with a huge blush on his face like ‘hehehe…’

2,726 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

calling the twisted boys your husband/wife! (heartslabyul ver. [1/7])

established relationship, still dating

gn! reader

riddle rosehearts

“oh, yes, and my husband would like some of your confectionary, if that’s okay?”

when riddle hears this, his head whips up from his doctor (?) work so fast you’d think HE needs the hospital. he turns red in a millisecond and impatiently waits for you to finish your call.

“what in the Great Seven was that for?!”

he doesn’t say it, but he’s very pleased and will start making plans for the future. he WILL pout if you don’t call him that again, so please appease your husband's wishes <3

trey clover

“oh… uh huh, right… is there a set of toothbrushes i can get? my wife is interested in them, you see.”

he stops doing whatever he’s doing and blinks, before laughing and letting you continue your work. he’s pleased, but doesn’t make too much of a fuss about it. probably uses it to tease you instead.

cater diamond

“so, girly, listen- my wife’s a fan of roller skates, so do you any recommendations on where you get the good ones…?”

he’s uncharacteristically flustered- his skin burns red, and he hides behind a pillow as he frantically texts you ‘WHY DID YOU DO THAT WHY DID YOU DO THAT’

bloody fucking loves it he WILL sulk and not respond if you don’t call him that anymore.

“cater.. love? beloved? cay-cay? sweetheart?”

“...”

“my wife-”

“YES???”

ace trappola

“yes sir, that’s my husband right there- ACE STOP THAT RIGHT NOW YOU ASS-”

he, indeed, stops at whatever he’s doing to just stare at you… and attempt to tease you for your ‘slip up’, like he doesn’t fuckin’ love it or whatever (oh you).

“eh… you must REALLY want to marry me, huh?”

“yeah, actually.”

“o-oh, w-w-what…? aha… ahahaha…”

he’s honored- thrilled, really. for someone to want him so much is just so… ‘SLDKFNVASDLKFNVASDLKFN’

he’ll get so clingy on that day i pray for u

deuce spade

“yes, my wife’s name is deuce spade… oh, and put some chickens beside that, okay?”

deuce gapes like a fish when he hears it. he’s.. you… he’s your WHAT?!?

See the full post

3,699 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

“What’s your type?”

Where the curious prefect asks their friends about the type of person they’d date.

Some students are omitted simply because I don’t know how to write them. Thank you.

Students that aren't written: Ruggie Bucchi, Azul Ashengrotto, Jamil Viper, Vil Schoenheit and Ortho Shroud (this one for obvious reasons lolol)

^ hope this clears up any misunderstandings!

Ace Trappola

“Me?” Ace, smug as ever, lets out a small grin. “What, are you interested in me?”

A second of silence passes, then he adds: “What if I said it was you?” Immediately after, he laughs nervously, quickly following up with a “I’m joking, obviously! As if you’d ever be my type, haha!”

Deuce Spade

“Me?” Deuce considers the question seriously, crossing his arms. “Someone strong and caring… kind of like you, I guess, prefect.”

“W-wait, no that’s not what I meant-! I mean, you’re amazing, but I- uhm-!”

(It takes you a while to calm him down.)

Cater Diamond

“What, are you curious?” Cater chuckles, phone in hand. “Here, someone like this!”

His phone illuminates a picture of you smiling serenely, enraptured in the moment and unaware of his presence.

Cater cooes at your flustered expression. “Prefect, you’re so cute, you know that~?”

Trey Clover

“Hmm? My type?” Trey laughs, adjusting his glasses. “Someone who’ll eat my sweets…I guess? I haven’t put that much thought into it.”

“But, well,” A cheeky smile rests on Trey’s face. “I’d pick you over anything.”

Riddle Rosehearts

“Type…? Do you mean a dating preference?” Riddle arches an eyebrow, looking serious. “Someone who has a keen sense for rules, of course. And someone who’s on par with me- I wouldn’t be seen with anyone lesser then that, I assure you.”

“But… having someone take care of me would be nice too.”

You tease him, asking if you’d fit that description.

“Y-you?! Well, with the display you’ve shown in your first days, you certainly don’t fit the former criteria, but for the latter…”

Riddle smiles and leaves it at that, leaving you to scramble at his words.

See the full post

3,995 notes - Posted April 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

calling the twisted boys your husband/wife! [2/7]

established relationship, still dating, gn! reader

a/n: the savanaclaw boys! the good boys! also LOOK AT THE BANNERS ARE THEY NOT SICK?? yeah they are I made it

i found my true calling and that is being a graphic designer LOL

Heartslabyul

leona kingscholar

“yes, my husband would like to- ARGH-”

his tails hits your face when you call him that, due to how rapid its wagging. he likes it, oh he likes it alright, but you aren’t going to hear him say he likes it.

he’ll proudly reference himself as your husband, be it in private or public. you dug yourself this grave, and you’re going to keep DIGGING until you guys actually get married LMAO

(this is a twst eng reference)

ruggie bucchi

“yeps, yeps, my wife would like 2 dozen donuts, thank you!”

ruggie whips his head around, and his red turns red and FLUSHED, FLUSHED. first instinct is to hit you.

“why did you do that?!”

he’ll get uncharacteristically quiet when you call him that, and it really cute seeing his ears flatten against his head and his tail wag.

he’ll eventually get used to it, but still.

jack howl

“ah yes, my wife would be interested in the snowboarding equipment, thank you.”

both the shopkeeper and jack whip around to look at you. jack is, well, confused. isn’t he supposed to be the husband here? and also, YOU BOTH AREN’T MARRIED?!??

neither of you bring the topic up again because you're scared that Jack doesn't like it but in fact, he does! he just had to internalize it for a second before it hits him and now his tail is wagging at ferocious speeds because shit, that's the only thing he want you to call him now...!

but you don't and he's so sad... eventually, he'll (not so subtly) imply that he loves your nickname for him. probably like this:

"uhm, hey. you know what you called me at the snowboarding store?"

"my wife?"

his tail wags immediately after that and you're like. OH. 😮

then it goes to understanding,😯, them embarrassment that he loves it😳 and finally coyness😏

now jack almost wishes he didn’t because you use it at every opportunity. at a call, in private, in public… you’re out for his blood, aren’t cha?

almost wishes- because with the way he's always crimson when you call him that, he's just as in love with the title as you are.

"awww come on jack, you're my wife aren't cha?"

"don't---! argh, are you trying to kill me...?"

4,595 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #THE SVANACLAW WIVES ARE WINNING

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ryssbelle · 3 years

Note

I'm frantically rereading the birb sky au to distract myself from the growing horror and people making theories that Twilight gets possessed (which is a trope I personally dislike quite strongly)...

New update hopefully coming soon for birb sky! But yeah personally, I don't think he's going to be possessed or die. I've said this in the tags of some posts, but I feel this is just one of the ways we're getting to see how powerful the shadow truly is and how the chain can't continue to rely on magic healing like they had before. The Chain is very reckless to some extent because "Oh I can just use a red potion or fairy!" or "Oh I've dealt with worse I'll be fine!" but then you take that away and you find you're not in a position to take those kind of risks anymore.

It's like backing The Chain into a corner, and showing them how truly serious their predicament is. How they have to really be serious and on their guard.

It's like setting up stakes and such. We're not super far into LU if we really think about it, we're just now getting into the deeper story. Again I don't think any members of the chain are going to die just yet,(or ever due to how that would ripple out and effect their main timelines) but I do think they are going to have some major hardships that will leave lasting scars.

This is just my opinion though, I'm not Jojo and I can't claim to know what her plans are lol, I'm just saying my thoughts from my perspective as a fellow author. I'm excited to see where this goes!

#linkeduniverse #linked universe #as for possession as a trope #i think it has a time and a place for it to work right #at this point in the story i don't think it would be a good idea to get twi possessed #like i said the way its been going we're only really just getting into it #if it were a series we'd only be a few episodes in #so i don't think anything that big is going to happen just yet #maybe in the future #but again tropes like that have a time and a place #plus we haven't been shown anything that would give us the idea that dink is even capable of doing that #so until we get that i wont be sold on possession as of this time #we need the set up for it to work properly #which is actually why there are more little prince focused updates coming for birb sky #i had an update planned for after the ravio situation and it's partially sketched out #but i realized i didnt have the set up to justify what happens in the update #so now we're getting more stuff before it #but yeah those are my thoughts and ramblings

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novantinuum · 4 years

Text

Is the “villain card” really a VILLAIN card- or something else?

So, I’ve been thinking a lot today about @faelapis‘s recent post (link in reblogs so this can go in tags) discussing the corrupted Steven theory, and specifically how he pointed out how in the intro... that the camera “zooms inside Steven’s heart” when transitioning to the shot that features Big Looming Pink Fella.

And I know the fandom generally refers to threatening spreads such as these as “villain cards,” since- at the time of the intro’s release in October, all of these characters were heavily implied to be antagonistic to our main characters in some way. But after seeing the first ten episodes of SUF in full, I feel we should pause and ask ourselves-

Are any of these characters really villains?

And if not, then what IS their role in the greater story of this epilogue, and more importantly- their role featured prominently in the show’s intro?

Let’s take a quick look at the characters we’ve seen already.

Jasper

Thus far, Jasper has played the least antagonistic part she ever has in the entire history of Steven Universe. I’d even go so far as to consider her a shaky acquaintance of Steven’s, at this point.

But as far as her purpose in the show goes so far, Jasper is important because she is the very first person to mash it up with Pink Mode Steven. The very first person who catches a glimpse of this new ability of his to begin with. When Steven first shifted into this state, it was because she pushed him into a situation that was both emotionally and physically compromising. Jasper is every bit as stubborn as Steven. She knows exactly how to push his buttons. It’s for this reason that I don’t think he would’ve discovered his pink state without her, without her egging him on to fight.

Steven tries his best to be very patient with everyone, and yet his frustrations with Jasper’s inability to move forward (hypocrite, much?) elicited a rather jarring rush of directed anger that- before- he generally seemed to keep bottled inward.

I get the strong sense that he didn’t allow himself to freely and openly express these sorts of “negative” emotions at all before this encounter.

Furthermore, Jasper slapped him in the face with the biggest call-out of his mental state ever.

Jasper: “I don’t need your help. You’re the one that needs help. You think you’ve beaten me, but you’ve never beaten me on your own. You’ve always been a fusion. You’ve always had your friends because you’re nothing without them. You think everyone needs help.”

Steven: “I – I just…”

Jasper: “But it’s only you. No one is as pitiful as you.”

Every other episode of the show so far has only gone to further showcase that this is what Steven believes about himself right now. (See: Little Graduation, especially.)

And what happened with Jasper that day... was just the beginning of his slow decline.

Bluebird Azurite

This character... also isn’t big villain material. She’s barely even a threat.

Rather, Bluebird serves as a stark reminder for Steven that there are people out there that hate him for being him. Not only that, but those who would fuse for just that reason.

To hate him together.

(I must admit, I still find the notion of Steven potentially falling apart because of a lack of self-love interesting, as much as it is heartbreaking. But I already wrote that post, so moving on-)

But she also is a reflection of how Steven is resistant to change right now.

Greg: “I mean, everyone can change, but not everyone wants to.”

Steven: “Yeah...”

He used to believe in the idea of positive change wholeheartedly, and yet... I think the passing years have led him to a place where he himself is scared of it, of the unknown, of moving on from what’s comfortable, of all the nebulous what-ifs. Which is why when Bluebird shows up, he projects his own resistance on this scenario. He doubts Bluebird’s ability to change for the better because he now doubts that for himself.

Instead, I think he fears he may be changing for the worse.

I strongly believe we’re going to see Bluebird again. I just get the sense that there’s more she can bring to the table.

“Mean” Lapis and “Nice” Lapis

Also not villains. Just obstacles.

Similarly to Bluebird, they seem to push that “resistance to change” theme further for Steven. Some people just... are stuck in their ways. (Thankfully though, not all of them. Thanks, Freckles. Love ya lots!)

Since Why So Blue is focused squarely on capping Lapis’ character arc, there’s not as much Steven-related meta threads I can glean from their first appearance, truth be told.

I think we’re likely to see more from these two, as well. If they do serve a greater role in the overarching story of SUF, it isn’t complete yet. Fingers crossed!

Cactus Steven

Dear goodness, this creature is completely innocent. Poor baby. XD

This poor fella plays the role of being a physical embodiment of- at the time of Prickly Pair- Steven’s mental state, and pushing the lad to repress his turbulent emotions even further.

Throughout SUF so far, Steven has become consumed by negative self-talk, (”I used to be helpful, but the Gems don't need me anymore”), a stark reluctance to let anyone see the evidence of his mental instability, and explosive anger he cannot gain a handle on.

And as his mirror, Cactus Steven:

Repeats things Steven says, spilling all of that negative self-talk and the reasons why he doesn’t want to approach the Gems about his issues.

Is shoved away under a box, representing Steven’s emotional repression.

Warps into a monstrous form, explosive anger brimming at the surface.

Notably, Cactus Steven only fights in direct response to what others lay on him. He is not overtly antagonistic until Steven himself makes the first strike. Later, while the Gems are attempting to fight him back, he desperately tries pushing them away... much like Steven has been all season.

Cactus Steven: “Just... get... OUT!”

Furthermore, Steven creates him. He creates this monster. He’s the reason he becomes so messed up in the first place. That has to feel pretty awful, especially when he’s doubting his ability to be helpful nowadays. He tried to nurture this creature, and look where that got him? This furthers the narrative idea mentioned earlier, of Steven perhaps fearing that he’s now changing for the worse.

Finally, by by the end of this episode, it seems worryingly as if Steven’s reluctance to open up about his problems has solidified.

Pearl: “Is there anything you need to talk about...?”

Steven: “...I think I’ve said enough.”

To wrap...

We don’t yet know what role White Diamond will play, but it’s probable that it’ll be something that strongly impacts Steven in a personal way. And at this point in the show, I’m doubtful she’ll suddenly heel-turn back into villainy.

With all this in mind, my current theory is that...

These characters are not on this title sequence card as ‘villains’ at all, but rather, each serve as important ‘road markers’ on the path towards the eventual climax of SUF.

Meaning, Steven’s encounters with each of them will influence his way of thinking in a way that leads him further down the road towards eventual corruption. Or whatever else is waiting for him at the end.

And the camera specifically “zooms into Steven’s heart” because these characters, standing in front of that monster, represent the moments that lead him into that state.

What we’re seeing here is a visual record of the burden he carries inside him.

#su #su future #steven universe #su meta #corrupted steven theory #my post stuff #long post #the mighty 500 #1K #2K #3K

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recurring-polynya · 3 years

Note

Tokusatsu Au where Rukia plays the lead actress in a superhero action show. Renji plays one of the villains and they are The most popular ship in the fandom. Bonus points if Orihime plays the main villain and loves every second of it.

This was the very first prompt I got, and I fell in love. Unfortunately, aside from a brief period of being grotesquely fascinated with Power Rangers as teen, I know almost nothing about tokusatsu. I did as much research as I could and I attempted to watch an episode of Kamen Rider, but my eyes glazed over halfway through. Anyway, please forgive my inaccuracies, I wrote this with my heart.

ao3 | ff.net

🏍 ⚡ 🎬

“Uh, looks like we’re almost out of time,” the panel moderator for “High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe!: A Sneak Peak at Season 5” declared, “but would you be willing to take just a few audience questions?”

Head Screenwriter Kurosaki Ichigo glanced at Leading Actress Kuchiki Rukia out of the corner of his eye, and she gave a tiny nod.

“Yeah, sure!” he replied.

There was already a young woman waiting at the microphone, practically vibrating with anxiety. She was wearing a t-shirt that had ZabiTo4Ever!! handwritten in marker on it. Rukia knew, deep down in her bones, what the question was going to be.

“Hi, yes, hello, big fan of your work! My question is: are Tomoe and Zabimaru going to kiss this season?”

“No,” Rukia started to say.

“As you probably know,” Ichigo said loudly on top of her, “the show holds close to the core plot points of Kuna-sensei’s manga, although, because of her minimalist style, we do expand a lot of the dialogue and filler scenes. She has said in several interviews that High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe! is not a romance manga, so the odds of Tomoe and Zabimaru ever kissing on screen are very, very low.”

The young woman stared at Ichigo grumpily. “Does this also count Zabimaru’s secret college student identity, Satonako Takeru?”

Ichigo stared back at her. “Yes. It does.”

The next question came from a person wearing a full suit of HellKnight’s plasma armor made out of overlapping plates of cardboard. Rukia was kind of impressed by it. She wondered if he could sit down.

“Hi, Kurosaki-sensei, I am a huge fan of your work,” a voice emanated from deep within the cardboard. “I was wondering if you are influenced at all by fanworks, and if Episode 73: Pride is on the Line!: The Bake Sale Must Go On! was based in any way on the classic fanfiction, ‘Tell Me All Your Best Lies’? It’s the top story by kudos in the ZabiTo tag, which I might point out is the most popular shipping category on AO3.”

Ichigo cleared his throat gently. “I am contractually not allowed to read fanfiction, although I do enjoy fanart! There are some incredibly talented artists in the fandom, although for some reason, no one ever wants to draw pictures of Lead Screenwriters.”

“I’ll draw you, sleeping on the set like you always do,” Rukia offered, and that got a pretty big laugh. Rukia’s Tumblr of behind-the-scenes doodle comics was beloved among the fandom.

The next question was from a nonbinary person wearing a big poufy skirt and a hairstyle that would make their make-up and hair guru, Yumichika, sit up and take notice. “Hi, this is a question for Kuchiki-san! If the show is going to roughly keep pace with the manga, as it has done up until now, you should be shooting the storyline where Tomoe and Queen Bloodbuzz switch bodies later this year. I was wondering if you could comment on how you feel about filming that storyline?”

Finally! A good one! “Yes!” Rukia nodded eagerly. “I don’t usually like to speak for my fellow cast members, but Orihime and I are beyond excited about playing each other. We’ve been studying each other’s mannerisms and practicing already! Does anyone want to hear my Queen Bloodbuzz cackle?” She wagged her eyebrows as the audience cheered. “Here goes-- bwaHaHaHaHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAAAAAAAA!”

“Bonechilling,” Ichigo commented dryly as the audience erupted.

“Amazing, Kuchiki-san!” the moderator exclaimed. “I think there is time for one more, but this will be the last question!”

A tall girl in a full set of High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe motorcycle leathers stepped to the microphone. She was holding a notebook. “Hello!” she warbled. “In a 2020 interview with the Psychics and Sidekicks podcast, Abarai Renji was asked about his opinion on ZabiTo as a ship, and he replied,” she consulted her notebook, “‘Tomoe is such a cool lady and talented Battle Clairvoyant, and she always follows her heart and stays true to herself. I think that Zabimaru can’t help but be impressed with her, even though they’re enemies, and I always try to roll that into our on-screen interactions.’ I know that in the past you’ve refused to comment on the ship, but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on, y’know, his thoughts?”

“Well, he’s correct, of course, Tomoe is very cool and admirable,” Rukia replied, which drew a few laughs, although it seemed like the audience was leaning forward in anticipation of her answer. “Like I said, I don’t like to speak for other cast members. I’ll be doing a big cast panel with Abarai and Inoue and Matsumoto and Ukitake tomorrow afternoon, and I hope you all can make it! See you then!”

The moderator thanked them enthusiastically, and then Ichigo and Rukia slipped out the back guest entrance.

“Evasive as always, Kuchiki,” Ichigo teased.

“Whatever,” Rukia sniffed. “The higher ups say we’re not supposed to comment on stuff like that, and I was not commenting. By the way, how many secret fanfic accounts are you up to? Four?”

“It’s only three!” Ichigo paused. “I wrote that fanfic the guy brought up.”

“Of course you did,” Rukia sighed. “I do blame you personally for the popularity of the damn ship.”

“Me? Blame Kuna for making up two such sexy, emotionally constipated dumbasses!” Ichigo defended.

“Also, it’s not Ichigo’s fault that you and Abarai have insane chemistry.”

Rukia spun around, grinning. “Orihime!”

Rukia’s two co-stars, Inoue Orihime and Abarai Renji, the portrayers of Tomoe’s demonic archnemeses, stood in the hallway behind them.

“We sat in on your panel!” Orihime beamed. “You two were brilliant!”

“Don’t worry,” Renji added. “We were incognito.”

“Incognito” was relative, Rukia supposed, when you were at Tokyo’s biggest tokusatsu

convention.

Orihime was wearing a Zabimaru outfit so detailed that she probably could have won a prize down at the cosplay hall. She had the gravity-defying ponytail, the eyeliner, the insane widow's peak (complete with forehead tatts), the fangs, the motorcycle boots. The paper mache snake skull helmet was a little lopsided, but it was charming. She had her top zipped a little higher than canon, but that was forgivable, too.

Renji had taken the opposite tack of looking as much like a normal person-- or at least a normal Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe superfan-- as possible. Relaxed fit jeans and an oversized hoodie de-emphasized his ultra-fit physique. He was wearing a t-shirt with a very dramatic rendering of Orihime that said “Queen Bloodbuzz can step on me!” and a ball cap with the logo of Seireitei University, the fictional college Tomoe and Takeru attended.

“You think you’re in disguise,” Rukia pointed out, “but there are thousands of teen girls in this place with entire Tumblrs dedicated to your stupid face when you’re out of costume.”

Renji cocked an eyebrow at her. “You underestimate me, Rukia. I have bought… new sunglasses.” With a flourish, he whipped out a pair of the dorkiest wayfarers she’d ever seen, and flipped them onto his face. “I’ve disappeared! Who am I? Where am I?”

“You look really great, Orihime,” Ichigo said, his cheeks coloring a little bit. “Did you get Uryuu or Yumichika to help you with that costume?” In his continuing theme of doing things he wasn’t supposed to, Ichigo had finally started dating Orihime on the downlow around the time they finished up filming last season. It had done absolutely nothing for how shy he still got around her. They were, in Rukia’s opinion, cute as hell.

“Oh, no, that would be cheating!” Orihime replied, wagging a finger at him. “Well…maybe I did cheat, just a tiny bit. Renji helped me make the helmet and he held up references for me while I was painting on the tattoos.”

“Only the forehead ones,” Renji quickly added.

“He wouldn’t even offer feedback on my booby tattoos!” Orihime frowned. She leaned forward. “Rukia, how do they look?”

Ichigo turned even redder.

“Perfect, as in all you do!” Rukia replied loftily.

“What’s everyone got coming up next?” Renji asked. “I was thinking of slipping out and trying to pick up some real coffee.”

“I’m judging a villainess-themed cosplay competition,” Orihime chirped. “But I’m dying for a blueberry caramel iced latte. Renji, my henchman, pleeeeease!”

“Of course, my liege,” Renji replied in his Zabimaru voice.

It’s not like it had been a hard decision to accept the role of the motorcycle-riding, badass heroine of one of the most popular manga of the last decade, but it had turned out to be one of the best decisions of Rukia’s life. not just her career. Aside from a few of the money-obsessed executives, she liked nearly everyone in the cast and crew, but the fact that the fact that the ruthless, homicidal, literally Hell-spawned villains of the show were played by the two sweetest marshmallow people she had ever met just took the cake. Renji and Orihime had already known each other from some voicework they had done previously, and their excitement at working together on a live-action project had infected the entire cast from the start. Rukia wasn’t sure, but she strongly suspected that Renji was the one who had hyped Orihime up to ask Ichigo out.

“I have a writers’ workshop I’m moderating this afternoon, and I wanted to review the writing samples people sent in,” Ichigo said, scratching the back of his head. “I’d love to stop by that cosplay contest, though, at least for a few minutes.”

“You’ll be needing caffeine, too, then, eh?” Renji offered. “Hot, black, and in the largest cup they make, as usual?”

“Ugh, you’re the best,” Ichigo groaned. “You wanna power-up this season? Costume update? You know what? Maybe I’ll just have you defeat Tomoe once and for all, no one likes her anyway.”

“C’mon, you know I’m the world’s number one Tomoe simp, don’t do that!” Renji laughed.

Rukia rolled her eyes. “I’m free and I could use some fresh air. Besides, it’s going to take all your dumb muscles just to carry Kurosaki’s vat of coffee back here.”

“Cool!” Renji proclaimed. “We’ll be back soon!”

“Thanks, Renjiiiii!” Orihime waved.

“You need to stop off and put on a disguise?” Renji asked.

“No point in it, I always get recognized,” Rukia sighed, pulling her sunglasses out of her purse anyway.

“Here,” Renji said, plunking his hat on her head. “Maybe this will help.”

“Thanks,” Rukia replied, and then did a double take. “Whaaaaaat is on your head?”

“Shut up!” Renji laughed. He usually shaved his head when they were filming, because it made it easier to deal with the make-up and wigs, but since they were between seasons, he’d grown his hair out into a short, tousled mop of reddish-brown waves. He looked, for the lack of a better word, dreamy. “I shot a movie over the summer, and they wanted me to look softer.”

Rukia looked at him over the top of her sunglasses. “You didn’t tell me you were doing a movie!”

“Oh, it was just a little indy romcom thing. I wasn’t sure it was gonna pan out, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“You were in a romcom? You’re kidding me!” They ducked out of a side door of the convention center into the bright sunshine.

“Yeah, it’s about a guy who goes to the gym to try to get ripped to impress a girl, and makes friends with me, this nice, already ripped dude who gives him lifting tips and encourages him a bunch. By the end of the movie, it turns out we have crushes on each other.”

“Oh, no, that sounds really cute, actually!”

“It was written by a woman who graduated from one of Ichigo’s writing workshops. The script was really snappy and Ichigo thought having someone like me as the gym guy would give it just a bit of campy cachet. You know what a good sense he’s got for stuff like that.”

“That was cool of you to go out on a limb a little,” Rukia replied.

Renji rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d been wanting to try something like that for a while, actually.”

Rukia blinked. “You aren’t… you aren’t thinking of leaving the show, are you?”

“Huh? No. No! No, the show means the world to me, I would never. But… it’s not gonna run forever, y’know?”

“I would have guessed you’d want to be a big action star or something!” Rukia said, throwing a few air punches. “That’s my dream!”

Renji stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “Yeah, that’s what I thought I wanted when I first got into acting. I’d read the Tomoe manga, and I thought playing Zabimaru would be a good jumping-off point, besides just being a cool character overall.”

“Is that… not true?” Rukia frowned.

“Oh, I mean, I guess so! I didn’t really know about the fandom, though and… to be honest, I’m kinda into the idea that there are all these fans who think I’m complex and redeemable?”

Rukia regarded him out of the corner of her eye. “They just want to fix you.”

“Maybe! Ichigo made me read this one fanfic that was eight thousand words of the reader getting sick and Zabimaru making them soup? And feeding them the soup? I still haven’t decided how I feel about it.”

“How does he have time to find these things? Does he even sleep?”

“Anyway, it doesn’t hurt to be well-rounded and it was fun. I’m still mostly an action guy, but I wouldn’t mind doin’ something with a romantic subplot. A period drama or something like that. I look pretty good in hakama, you know.”

“I bet you do,” Rukia laughed. She squinted at him, but his expression was unreadable behind the shades. Renji didn’t have the classic leading man looks, not like her ridiculously famous older brother, but she could definitely see him as the best friend, the B-plot romance, with his cute, messy hair and that big doofy grin.

“By the way, I’m sorry you had to field that question about me spilling my romantic sensibilities on that podcast.”

Rukia laughed. “You didn’t even answer the question, either! These people are relentless!”

Renji stopped at a street corner and peered down the various possible directions they could go. “Which way feels like it might have a coffee shop?”

“You didn’t have one in mind before we left? I thought you knew where we were going!”

“Nah, I just like to go out and see what there is.”

“I can look up a map,” Rukia said, reaching in her bag for her phone.

“Let’s just go this way,” Renji said, stepping out into the street in the direction that had the WALK light. Rukia sighed and had to scramble to catch up with him.

“So, what do you think about it?”

“Huh?” Rukia asked. “Think about what?”

“Our ship. ZabiTo.”

“I can’t believe you just said that word out loud. And you know we’re not supposed to give our opinion on it!”

“Aw, c’mon, we’re not supposed to give public statements on our opinions. I don’t think there’s any harm in talking between ourselves. We’re in disguise, even.”

“‘Disguise’,” Rukia sniffed.

“You don’t like it, I can tell.”

“He’s a bad guy! Everyone always talks about chemistry, and that may be true, but I just don’t think that Tomoe could ever get over his acts of violence and cruelty.”

“Queen Bloodbuzz is cruel. Zabimaru is not cruel.”

“Okay, that’s fair, but still. He’s kidnapped just about all of Tomoe’s friends and or turned them into monsters at one time or another. He’s always setting Karakura Town on fire or flooding it with magic lizard goo. He ruined the sports festival.”

“Maybe the sports festival deserved to be ruined,” Renji muttered under his breath.

“Okay, you’ve got a point on that one,” Rukia admitted.

“It’s really clear though, that he’s got some agenda beyond just simping for Queen Bloodbuzz--”

“The simping for Queen Bloodbuzz is the most relatable thing about him, to be honest.”

“Granted. But, what if he’s got a good reason for everything he does, actually? What if he’s doing all of this against his own moral code as a means of infiltrating Hell itself and getting himself into a position of trust so that he can bring down the Lords of Hell from the inside?”

Rukia slipped her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose. “Does Kuna give you Zabimaru spoilers?” The reclusive creator High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe! was only barely involved with the television show, but she did privately meet with each of the cast members about once a year. Most of Rukia’s meetings consisted of Kuna giving her constructive criticism on her battle poses.

“No, mostly we practice sneering,” Renji replied. “But I gotta play the guy, so I gotta think about this, you know, what motivates him? I mean, you’re probably right, it would never work out. But unlike Tomoe, whose principles would call for her to ignore any attraction she has to him, Zabimaru has the freedom to pine for her, perhaps because his love is futile and he doesn’t think he deserves it anyway.”

“That’s kinda dark, dude,” Rukia frowned.

“Yes, well, that is the kind of character acting that netted me the 2019 Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Best Villain Award, Foreign Language Category.”

“That’s literally what’s going through your head when you’re shouting that if I can’t make some sick motorcycle jump, you’ll turn all my friends into stuffed animal versions of themselves?”

“No, of course not! At those times I’m thinking about how much I love my job. OH! and what is that I see!” Renji struck an extremely Zabimaru pose. “A MISTER DONUT!”

“My hero!” Rukia exclaimed, unable to resist an opportunity to shout dramatically. “I’m sorry I doubted you!”

“I think we should get some donuts, too. Orihime loves donuts,” Renji declared.

“Oh, for sure,” Rukia agreed. She was thoughtful for a moment. It would be easy to move on to a different subject, the subject being donuts, but she wasn’t happy with leaving the last conversation hanging. “Look, Renji, just because I don’t like the dumb ship, you know that’s not a reflection on you, right?”

“Huh?” Renji replied. “You mean you don’t mind if I like it?”

“Well… I mean, I don’t, I guess, but what I really meant was, er… we joke a lot, but Tomoe and Zabimaru are just parts, y’know? Just because I don’t think Zabimaru isn’t good boyfriend material doesn’t mean I…” Rukia trailed off, suddenly realizing what she was saying. “Um. What I mean is. You’re very nice and probably one of my favorite people I’ve ever worked with and if someone I knew wanted to ask you out, I would definitely encourage them to, A+ guy, I’d say, probably would make a great boyfriend.”

Renji pushed his sunglasses up onto his forehead and regarded her for a long moment. “For the record, Kuchiki, I think that both you and Tomoe would make excellent girlfriend material.” While Rukia stood there and gaped like a fish, he turned and pushed open the door to the coffee shop. “Ichigo likes crullers and Orihime always wants the most colorful thing they’ve got. Do you know what you want?”

“I need to think about it,” Rukia squeaked. She wasn’t talking about donuts.

🏍 ⚡ 🎬

Bonus: Here are my notes from when I was making up the show. I hope this wasn’t too confusing!

High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe!

based on a manga by reclusive mangaka Kuna Mashiro

Head Screenwriter: Kurosaki Ichigo

🌟 Starring: 🌟

Kuchiki Rukia as Yukimura Tomoe, a spunky college student who can see ghosts and fights demons from Hell! She rides a motorcycle!

Inoue Orihime as Queen Bloodbuzz, a Lady of Hell, who seeks to gather energy from the Living Realm so that she can become the Supreme Ruler of Hell. Very aesthetic. Much bees.

Abarai Renji as Zabimaru, Queen Bloodbuzz’s ruthless henchman. He leads a double life as fierce-looking, but gentle-hearted college student Satonaka Takeru! What is his long game??

#renji's birthday 2k21 #my writing #this was really hard to write actually #because i had to make up SO MUCH STUFF #i hate making up stuff #astute readers will notice that i just recycled rukia and renji's fake names from between tides #i am so in love with this au tho #especially ichigo and his false pretenses ao3 accounts

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lvmosity · 4 years

Text

my only valentine | draco malfoy [2]

pairing: draco malfoy x slytherin!reader

genre: fluff bc it’s a valentines day special ooh la la

summary: you and draco have been enemies since the start of hogwarts despite being in the same houses, but everyone knows you two secretly like each other. valentines day has arrived and you hope to receive a love confession from one boy only; your arch-enemy nevertheless. however, a minor incident occurs caused by draco and hurts you deeply. will your valentines day be rescued?

word count: 3.7k

warnings: minor swearing ?? sorry i swear a lot

a/n: final part is here! received a lot of love on my first one and that made me really happy! thank u all eeek <3 couldn’t hesitate to finish this off because i didn’t want to make u wait a long time so here it is! enjoy :-) also idk if there are errors in here even tho i proofread multiple times, so let me know if u see any !!

tags: @aus-pi-cially @biinspiration @iwritetrashimagines @juliemoney45 @a-hoe-for-vanya @slytherclawmalfoy

read part one → here

After the incident, you stayed in your dorm for the rest of the day. Professor McGonagall excused you out of classes, each visiting the Professors that you had a class with today to report that you wouldn’t be attending due to you falling ‘ill’. You mentally thanked her for that and you reminded yourself to thank her properly the next morning since you were too upset and embarrassed to walk out.

You knew that at this very moment that everyone was talking about you, you were once again the main gossiping topic. When some students had asked your classmates who were present at the incident, they simply explained the situation and one by one the information had quickly spread like wildfire.

Many girls felt bad for you, some of the girls from your house even visited you during their frees and empathised with you. After stating that you were feeling alright, they started to bad-mouth Draco by calling him all sorts and making fun of him. You’d never thought you’d hear your own housemates mockingly make fun of Draco but it was a blessing to your ears. Although, you wished for their safety as you knew his father will hear about it and order expulsion upon them.

And by most girls, you mean everyone except a few girls such as Pansy Parkinson enjoyed you feeling dejected. You weren’t the only girl who liked him of course. Since Year One, Pansy has made sure to everyone that she likes loves Draco. You could visualise the look on her face when she heard about the situation, and she probably looked the happiest she’s ever been.

Pansy also made it clear that she hates you. At first, you both didn’t have a problem with each other since you were Slytherin housemates, however, you couldn’t hold back your slight annoyance with her once she showed attitude. But at the start of Year 4, she turned hostile towards you. Apparently, she sees you as a threat and you’d soon ruin her ‘plans’, whatever they were.

Your friends came by during dinner to give the gifts you left in class since you ran out without grabbing them. They each gave you a consoling hug, several uplifting words to cheer you up as well as desserts from the meal they were serving as a Valentines Day special. It did manage to bring your mood up which was a good thing as you were able to focus on something else.

However, the second you lay eyes on the gifts that laid on your bedside counter, you’d instantly be reminded about the incident turning your mood sour. You couldn’t help but tear up which escalates into a crying session. You’ve possibly had around five sessions since then and now it’s six because you just looked at it again.

It really hurt you. His words struck thorns in your heart, he really didn’t have feelings for you at all. You cursed at yourself for thinking he’d have a slight interest in you all this time but now you realised you were wrong; he has always hated you. He despised you. From the very start lasting to the very end.

What does this mean to you from now on? Obviously, it means your crush on Draco should be completely destroyed. No, it needs to be. You’d be a fool to continue liking Draco after that, he literally declared his hatred for you and he had an audience to hear it loud and clear. He’ll never see you anything more than an enemy. He only saw you as a despicable, loathsome, grotesque looking, ugly--

“Ugh, I’m such an idiot!” you cried out with despair and flipped the bed covers over your head.

You forced your eyes shut and tried to shut any thoughts of Draco but images of him kept coming back. It was hopeless. You were never going to get over him.

Time goes by and you watched the sky turn from grey to black indicating that it was night-time. It was time for everyone to head back to their dorms since classes had finished for the day. One by one you watch your roommates, as well as your friends, stumble into the room and hop into bed falling fast asleep minutes later.

You lie in bed, tossing back and forth multiple times unable to get in a comfortable position. It had been a while since everyone had fallen asleep, snores filled the room as well as the ticking of the clock. You concluded that you weren’t going to fall asleep any time soon as you weren’t tired despite feeling the heaviness on your eyelids.

Taking a quick glance at the clock, you saw that it was only beginning to hit 11PM. Sighing, you step out of bed, slipping your slippers on as you walk outside. You knew no one would be awake at this time judging by how late it was thus spending a bit of time sitting in front of the fireplace in the Slytherin Common Room would be a good way to fall asleep quicker and clear your thoughts.

You step into the Common Room and just as you thought; not one person was awake. The fireplace was still lit and burning strongly along with the violent crackling of the fire. The lamps had been switched off leaving the fireplace and the light from the windows to be the only source of light. It was awfully eerie without anyone else in the room but it didn’t bother you as much because you were used to it, it was located in the dungeons of course.

As you made your way downstairs, you were starting to feel the heat radiating from the fire inch by inch. You shuddered at the warmth wafting your face once you stood in front of the fireplace. Sitting yourself down on the carpet, you cross your legs and lifted your hands up to warm them up.

You give a long sigh, relaxing your shoulders and the muscles in your body. For a couple of minutes, you had stayed like this, welcoming the warmth that surrounded you and you felt at peace. You were able to clear your thoughts out to the point you felt like you had moved on from that horrific incident.

“Oh, you’re still up.”

You quickly look behind to see Draco leaning over the balcony, gazing at you. How long has he been standing there for? Why was he still wide awake at this time? More importantly, what the hell do you do now?

Your eyes widen out of shock, instantly turning back and stare at the fireplace and start to fidget with your hands. You could hear him walk down the steps, your heart is starting to beat fast. His footsteps are coming closer. Your mind was racing as you frantically look around. Should you try and run away so you wouldn’t have to face him? Do you stay sitting down and wait for him? Maybe If you thought of a good excuse, you can walk back to the dorm without any awkwardness. Or you can just run away right now and he wouldn’t even have the chance to say something--

Draco clears his throat as he calmly sits himself down next to you. Legs crossed, he also warms his hands up neither saying a word or glancing at you.

You didn’t want to peek at him but you could tell out of the corner of your eye that he doesn’t seem to have a scowl or an irritated look despite being next to you. Instead, he supports a blank face. It was difficult to guess how he’s feeling right now.

Focusing back on the fireplace, you both sit there in silence, both not having the confidence to speak a single word. It stays like that for a while, listening to the crackling of the fire, hearing his and your quiet breathing, your heartbeat gradually ringing loud in your ears. You were starting to feel uncomfortable with the awkward atmosphere. You weren’t sure if Draco was feeling the same, you were too nervous to check his face.

“Can’t sleep?”

Draco breaks the silence. Finally encouraging yourself to look at him, you wait for him to turn to you and wait for your reply but he doesn’t. His eyes still fixated on the fire in front. You sigh internally.

“Y-yeah...” Your words wavering at the end. You slowly uncross your legs before bending and pressing them against your chest. You cross your arms and place them on top of your knees, propping your chin on top afterwards.

Great. Draco now knows you’re basically shitting your pants right now. That made you even more nervous. He’s probably making fun of you right now in his head.

“Just wanted to clear my mind and it’s working out fairly good.” You try to laugh your nervousness off in hopes that Draco would ignore your slight tremor from before.

"Your brain must feel as good as new,” Draco said causing you to look at him again, “seeing that you’ve never used it in your whole life.”

You frown at him before rolling your eyes.

“You know, I’ve been trying to see things from your point of view but I can’t get my head that far up my arse.”

You snap back at Draco, waiting for him to give you his iconic nasty look and throw an insult back but to your surprise, he doesn’t. Draco sits there in silence again, he still hasn’t bothered trying to look at you. You were starting to debate whether he was only here to argue or have a normal chat for once or maybe even apologise.

But this was Draco Malfoy you were talking about. He would never in a million years apologise to someone unless they were his father or that he really meant it or if he knew he was in the wrong.

Maybe you should just go and leave him alone, you really weren’t in the mood to argue with him as well as be in the same room as him. Especially after what he said. This will possibly be the last time you exchange words with him, you figured it would be best to stray clear of Draco, ignoring any snide comments he makes and pretend he didn’t exist. It’ll be tough alright but you knew you had to do it.

You sigh once more and stand up, giving Draco one last look. “If you’re only here to tease me then It’s useless to even share the same air with you right now,” He’s still not turning to face you. You didn’t know why you continued standing there as if you’re expecting anything to happen. “so goodbye Malfoy. Nice knowing you by the way.”

You turn on your heels and swiftly walk away, each stepping closer to the stairs. You didn’t dare try to look back, it would only hold you back thus you kept your eyes in front.

“I’m sorry.”

You froze, standing in your spot motionless. Did he just apologise? There’s no way you heard that correctly, no, it’s your mind playing tricks on you convincing you to turn around and accompany him. Just keep walking, Draco didn’t say it.

“I’m sorry.” Apologising again.

You slowly turn around and see that Draco had finally faced you, his eyes bore into yours. Your mouth slightly gaped open as if to speak but no sound could be made. You felt weak under the stares of Draco, you could feel your legs starting to wobble.

“I, uh, didn’t mean what I said before... y’know... me calling you ugly,” Draco bites his bottom lips feeling slightly embarrassed now that he’s facing you. Bowing his head, he continues rambling on, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was a mistake, it came out so suddenly--”

“Thank you Draco.”

Draco’s head shoots up, his eyes wide open. He had heard his name come out of your mouth, and it was his first name instead of the usual ‘Malfoy’.

“What?”

“I said thank you Draco.”

A blush crept along his cheeks as he quickly turns his head to the side in an attempt to conceal it. However, he knew it failed as you give a quiet giggle. You found it amusing to see Draco react in a way after hearing his name being said, especially since it was from you.

“For what?”

“You finally apologised to me... and you actually meant it this time without being sarcastic.”

Draco smiles sheepishly, scratching the side of his head with his head still turned away. He couldn’t meet the eyes of yours, he felt too ashamed at the fact that he couldn’t get the blush on his face to fade anytime soon. He gives a short nod as if to acknowledge your thanks causing you to smile in return.

Once again, the silence returns as both of you stand in front of each other, you looking down at your feet fidgeting whilst Draco did the same. Your throat started to dry up as you were too nervous to swallow, the atmosphere became awfully awkward.

“I don’t think you’re ugly by the way,” Draco suddenly said, “you’re the opposite actually.”

Raising your eyebrows, you question him, “Like what? I’m somewhat decent is what you’re trying to say.”

Draco immediately shakes his head.

“Then what?” You were starting to become impatient.

“You’re just not ugly okay? I can’t explain it.”

“Oh so I’m like above ugly but below average looking, maybe those are the words you’re looking for--”

“For Merlin’s sake, you’re pretty goddamn it!”

You instantly shut up, looking at him directly with your mouth slightly gaped open. Draco gives out a long sigh, calming himself down. He had almost shouted it out loud to wake anyone up.

“You’re not ugly, you’re pretty,” Draco said with a much quieter, soft tone. “Really fucking pretty. You were never ugly in my eyes, from the moment I met you up until now, I still find you pretty.”

He steps closer to you, closing in the gap between the both of you before stopping to have only a few metres left. He was practically an arm's length away, close enough for him to hear your heart beating frantically, as well as the heat radiating from you. Draco noticed how you were blushing like mad, after all, this was the closest you guys have ever been.

“I like you Y/N.”

And in the blink of an eye, he steps in further and grabs your chin to lift it upwards before he kisses you. Impulsively, you kiss back as you close your eyes, your lips moving in sync with his. His lips were slightly chapped but it had softened in time as it felt incredibly plumpy against your very own.

His hands gently move to the side of your face, his thumb lightly brushing your cheek. You squirm under his touch but your lips were still laced together, you swore you felt Draco subtly bite your bottom lip indicating that he was enjoying this. And so did you.

After what seemed like forever, Draco pulls apart and drops his hand. Still blushing furiously, you delicately touch your lips. Did you guys really just kiss?

Draco steps back and chuckles, “Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

“I like you too.” You randomly blurt out causing Draco to laugh again.

“I know.”

“You knew?”

“I’m not an idiot. You made it quite obvious with your stares and flirting that it wasn’t hard to notice Y/N.” He rolls his eyes.

“Ah...” You said, tucking a bit of your hair behind your ear. “Whoops.”

You open your mouth to speak again. “I feel sorry for the guy who gave me those Valentines gifts.” Draco listens to you curiously, “I can’t imagine the look on his face when he finds out his crush has been kissed by another guy.”

He stares at you in disbelief. “Are you daft?”

“What?” You said, confused.

“I sent you those.”

“As if. The Draco Malfoy sent me Valentines gifts?” You try to suppress your laughter since you found it amusing.

Draco shoots you an offended look, “Yeah well, it’s not like I wanted to in the first place. Mother insisted that I man up and woo a girl so I don’t live my life as an old man that’s on the verge of dying as a loner.”

“Whatever you say Malfoy.” Giggling at his poor excuse.

He tuts before he leans back on the couch, crossing his arms, he lifts his head to look at you. He tilts his head to the side and smirks causing you to raise your eyebrows.

“So, does this mean we’re a thing now?”

“No.”

“What? But I just made out with you.”

You turn red at his statement. “You don’t just automatically assume a couple gets together after kissing.” You explained.

“Then do I have to do something more other than a kiss?” He winks suggestively. You scrunch your face in disgust.

“No, you dimwit, you have to ask them out first in the traditional way.”

Draco lets out an ‘ahh’ and nods slowly. He uncrosses his arms and stands up, still leaning on the couch. “Then will you be my girlfriend?”

You let out a disappointed whine, “Seriously Malfoy, I can’t tell if you’re doing this to be funny or what--”

“No,” Draco stands up and walks closer to you, his hand lifts to grasps yours, taking you by surprise. “I’m serious. I’d like to be your boyfriend Y/N.”

He softly brushes his thumb up and down your fingers, waiting patiently for your answer. He locks eyes with you making your heart flutter. Your mouth kept opening and closing, unable to get a word out. You didn’t know how to respond to his bold question.

It had only been an hour since you had concluded it was best to discard your crush on Draco and move on with your life. It had only been a few hours since you and several other Slytherin girls were having the time of your lives, badmouthing him. It had been hours since Draco had completely crushed your heart with his hurtful comments. These were enough reasons for you to reject Draco on the spot.

But not enough for it to convince your heart otherwise. No, your heart was telling you to forgive Draco and accept him.

You finally pull out of your thoughts and look at him. Draco looks at you with anticipation and starts overthinking. He wishes that you would answer him anytime now otherwise, he’ll feel humiliated knowing he got rejected. But that quickly disappears when he sees you give a small smile.

“Okay.”

Draco’s mouth forms into a grin, his heart leaping with joy. Oh, how he looked so cute.

“But what about Pansy?”

“What about her?”

“You do know that she’s always had this massive crush on you, right?”

Draco shrugs. “So what?”

You look at him dumbfounded. “I thought you two had a thing for each other.”

“You’re joking?” You shake your head. Draco sighs, “I’ve never liked Pansy, she gets on my nerves.”

“She’s been going around saying she was your Valentines, even showed a box of chocolates with your name on it but everyone could recognise her scruffy handwriting anywhere.” You revealed making Draco snortle.

“Ha! She wishes she was. What a freak.”

You nod trying to believe his words but you still had doubts. Draco notices your troubled look and intertwines his fingers with yours. “Besides,” he starts off. You gaze at him as he gazes back with a smile. “you’re my only valentine.”

Thus with that, he plants a kiss on your cheek making you genuinely smile at him.

●●●

“Ah, looks like Y/L/N finally stopped being emo and joined us back in class.” Mocked Pansy once she stepped inside Potions Class.

Her eyes lie on the back of your head as she struts over to your desk. You lazily sit back on your chair as you watch Pansy sit on the edge of the table.

“Welcome back,” She said with a sarcastic smile. “had an amazing time with your Valentines date?”

You respond by looking at her with a sinister smile. “Oh, you bet. ”

Pansy gives you a weird look before the door slams open and all heads turn to see the source of the loud sound. Draco walks in, his two other goons following behind. Ignoring the eyes of his classmates, he starts making his way to his desk.

You immediately stand up and march over to Draco. Your classmates start to whisper and watch you, thinking you were going to confront Draco and punch him for being an asshole.

Draco stops in his tracks once he saw you were walking towards him, and before he knew it, you grab the sides of his face and kiss him.

Everyone in the room shouts out of shock. They couldn’t believe the scene happening in front of them. One of your classmates, Seamus, makes a catcall causing a few of the boys to laugh. Draco’s goons, on the other hand, looked bewildered seeing him fraternising with the enemy. He definitely had some explaining to do.

The girls looked either jealous or happy. Your friends looked at each other with excited smiles, whilst Hermione just rolled her eyes at the view but aggressively elbowed Ron in his sides after he pulled a disgusted look.

You pull away making Draco look at you confusingly, still taking in what had happened.

You shoot a cheeky smile at Pansy over your shoulder, “I had an amazing time.” Pansy angrily glares at you before pushing past you and storms out of the room.

“Everyone’s going to assume we’re a thing now after you kissed me.” He teased as you looked back at him.

“Well, weren’t we always?” You wink at him and turn around, walking back to your desk leaving Draco stunned.

Draco grins to himself, “Touché.”

Both of you knew you two were going to be in the centre of attention again, the main topic to gossip about except this was going to be something new to you both. However, instead of hearing the common ‘Draco and Y/N are fighting again’, it’d turn to ‘Draco and Y/N are having a love quarrel again.’ And that made you excited.

Maybe Valentines Day isn’t a bad event after all.

#draco #draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco x you #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagines #draco imagine #draco scenario #draco malfoy oneshot #draco malfoy scenario #harry potter #harry potter oneshot #slytherin

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fencesandfrogs · 3 years

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cloudtail’s daughter: jayfeather

alright, strap in, it's time for jayfeather. i've been holding it in on him for what feels like forever now; he's ya boy's favorite character

also, aside from dove and ivy, he's the character with the highest volume of changes to canon. even above cloudtail and brightheart, because they continue their lives, it's not a big deal. and lion and cinder go to the tribe, but like, that's it. (i'm figuring out if jay goes with them over the course of this essay. i think i said he did in holly? but he literally hasn't been mentioned once in that arc because there's a lot going on.) anyway lion and cinder don't get up to anything. but jay's priorities shift and we see that in his books. i'm really excited to write him but i need to finish arc 1 lmao.

but first, same deal as always. this is part of my cloudtail's daughter au, where dovekit and ivykit are born to cloudtail and brightheart. i don't know how well this will read preemptively, but i suspect it will be rather dependent on the others. cloudtail's daughter: dovewing and/or the long post that explains it are both good places to start, see the cloudtail's daughter tag on my blog.

[2.5k words, 14 minute read, one of the last warriors essays on this blog. i'm going to finish out with my character essays and then everything will be on new sideblog. so check out @mallowstep for more.]

section one: the leafpool business

at the beginning of this series, leafpool and jayfeather are on bad terms. they will stay on bad terms for basically the entirity of the book series. while one of my main complaints with po3/oots is the lack of acknowledgement of adoption, jayfeather has been lied to by his mother and his mentor, something neither hollyleaf or lionblaze have to contend with, and then his sister kills herself over it. obviously she doesn't, but from his perspective. so he blames leafpool because he was really close to hollyleaf and now she's gone, and it's his first real loss, and there's so much going on.

and so he's a grouch and he's unhappy and he's just trying to function when his whole support system has been dismantled over the course of what, like, a quarter moon? yeah so dovekit and ivykit are like "wow what a grouch he sucks" the same way they don't realize prey is dying of thirst & etc.

for the most part he's j chilling and then hollyleaf comes back and man is it some family drama. unfortunately it's postponed til book 4 because hollyleaf and jayfeather have journeys but anyway i'm getting ahead of myself, because this section should end and unlike the hollyleaf essay i want to actually have decent organization.

section two: hollyleaf is away (but jayfeather doesn't get to play)

holly, cinder, and dove go to deal with beavers. we only get jayfeather through lionblaze in the books, but jayfeather is...conflicted. he got his sister back and lost her again and oh i should say. i think jayfeather and hollyleaf are the closer pair of the siblings. not that they don't love lionblaze the same, but you know how cats pair bond? like, it's usually a trauma thing, but even in feral cats, you see very close friendships. anyway yeah so for other au's i've been sorting siblings n denmates into pairs for this purpose (mostly jaywing au because there's a lot re. dovepaw and jaypaw and remember they are reincarnated siblings they've got a close bond going.) and it's kind of...i don't know my point is jayfeather misses his sister because she's like, his best friend too. or she was. and then she died and now she's back and she left again, and lionblaze is more concerned about cinderheart, so jayfeather just comes off as grouchy all the time. but really he's lonely and sad.

so yeah, jayfeather is kind of moping around camp and then the tree falls and whoops now briarpaw/light is parapalegic.

and uhh this goes more or less as in canon but we don't get pov which is fine bc u can sub in canon. but jayfeather? he's still a sad boy but now he's a sad boy with purpose and that makes all the difference

yeah he's close with her. they're sweet. it's sweet. he's pressured by brambleclaw to take an apprentice. he's bristly and angry and "you're not my real father" you know?

beaver crew gets back. jayfeather, who had missed holly, is back to being angry for...angst and plot purpose, really.

but you know, when you love & miss someone and they leave and they come back and somehow that's worse because now they can leave you again? and you can't tell them you want them to stay because you're angry and hurt but you want them to stay? god i'm excited to write these chapters i love emotional turmoil.

he's protective of briarlight, he's trying to keep dovepaw from being a medicine cat, hollyleaf is apologizing but he's not ready to hear it and lionblaze and hollyleaf are beginning to reconnect and it feels like betrayal. so when cinderheart and lionblaze go to the tribe, he tags along. everyone, uh, strongly encourages he go. he is the big grouch.

section three: time travelling times

okay so the timeline for these books is...messy. if you track the chronology of my writing, it's messy. which is to say, i was thinking i could put forgotten warrior and distant whispers over the same time span, but that actually doesn't work, as i review my notes for FW because a big part of it is ivy and holly's relationship. so. fake news. whoops. that sucks.

or maybe it doesn't? idk i don't usually tell linear stories. i like messing with emotional impact of events. so writing 600k of very linear story telling is very not easy for me. but i'm trying.

right so basically the official order of events until i change my mind again is as follows (names abbreviated as DIHLJC because they're all unique): DCH returns from beavers, DILCJ go to tribe with some other random warrior undecided, J + rando return, JH start awkwardness (beginning of TFW, middle of DW), DILC return (end of DW), time travel stuff (middle to end of TFW). hopefully that was intelligble, but it is admittedly 85% for my own benefit.

alright so we've covered during beavers, now jayfeather and hmmmm let's say, uhhhh, let's say they go with, literally any interesting background character, uh, bumblestripe! he doesn't do anything in this au bumblestripe goes with them. also since his name starts w b i can still write DIHLJCB and have things be unambigious. and it means there are fewer bs in thunderclan and trust me you don't know how frustrating the existence of like 6 b characters is.

alright so we really have 3 sets of two pairs of cats here. maybe i won't go w bumblestripe, bc he doesn't have an existing relationship w jayfeather. i dunno. i'm a big fan of jay & briar, whether as a ship or just besties, but that's just out, and hollyleaf can't come a) because i said so and b) honestly maybe she can? actually wait hold on that solves my problems. hot damn so 6/6 of the pov cats go to the tribe and this will be one of the only times all six characters are plot relevant at the same time. but i'm going george r r martin on it and seperating the books not by time but into DICL + JH because they're two completely separate character arcs that happen to take place at the same time. (don't worry i'm going to resolve the fallen leaves thing. in this essay ig bc i've already covered hollyleaf.)

okay so yeah hollyleaf is sent bc jayfeather isn't planning on staying w tribe for long time. just short time. and he's all "firestar why"

"well jayfeather," firestar says, "you don't talk to your family."

"i talk to dovewing," jayfeather says

"you're not related to her," firestar says

"there's a whole prophecy about how i'm related to her," jayfeather says

"you know about that?" firestar says

and that's how the cat gets out of the bag.

so anyway. jayfeather and hollyleaf are sent because...hold on, spinning the wheel of reasons for a character to go on a field trip...because...because...because...because...jayfeather had one of those dreams. i don't know. rock or something. now he's going.

they get there, and this is where the books get a lil time wonky, bc jayfeather and hollyleaf stay for like a moon, during which jayfeather goes back in time. i think.

i haven't worked out the details and probably won't until i do an updated au synopsis because it's hard to keep track and i'm more concerned about character through lines. like, jayfeather does this and he feels sad, and hollyleaf is sad about her ghost boyfriend, and they're travelling back together, and hollyleaf is his sister and she doesn't make him feel like he needs protection and lionblaze is bad at that, and they start to talk again.

and yeah, they bond. again. it's kind of, on top of their old bond? like they don't repair anything, they bond like strangers. but it's not nothing, and that matters.

so jayfeather gets back, and we're moving into book five, and i don't remember when the last time i made a section break was or what number we're on, so...sorry.

section ???: old man yells at cloud

alright it's finally jayfeather's moment. you know, he's one of my favorite characters, and he only gets a book and a half. "but mateo," i hear you saying, "doesn't every character get a book and a half? and more importantly, 6x1.5 is 9, so how does every character get a book and a half?" well, yes, every character does, but dovewing and ivypool are relevant in books 1-3 and 6, cinderheart in 1-3 and 5, lionblaze in 1-3, and hollyleaf in 2-5 (and has a critical role in 1 and 6, just no character development), while jayfeather is just really essential to books 4-5, and has a background role in 3. that means he's about equal to lionblaze. he's equal to lionblaze. as far as the numbers go, i cannot tell you. it's a mystery.

right so the reason for this is because (a) jayfeather doesn't do that much in oots. i love him, but he's not, like, super important, and (b) he's going to work better in these books if he's concentrated. because his big theme is his relationship with hollyleaf and the past. they're both kind of stuck in it but in different ways. and that prevents them from ever properly healing. so jay never has a full arc in this. i mean he has a full arc, it's just not a satisfying one. and that means he's sort of got to be put in the containment units.

so anyway, he gets his real big moments in the fifth book, when he's reuniting starclan. i think this is one of the riskier decisions on my part: we'll see whether or not i can deliver on him the way i plan to. but i think i can pull it off so that his arc is more meaningful condensed as such.

right. so. jayfeather is decided. he is going to fix starclan. because dead cats need to get thier shit together and he dgaf.

he spends a decent amount of time arguing with yellowfang and bluestar, because basically no important cats have died. at least we're in omen of the stars so it still makes sense? i have no idea why yellow/blue are still so important. please kill more important cats. it makes us feel things.

but feathertail is also probably going to be involved, i don't know. i haven't read these books (specifically, books 4 and 5 of oots) in forever so i don't really remember what happens. but he's kind of, super done with everything. i think he'll probably try to get the support of mothwing and kestrelflight (which is canon i believe?) and try to work as a team. i feel like there's weirdness w shadowclan too i should sort out.

so yeah, there's some medicine cat bonding, everything is OK, sol is happening? but cinderheart is dealing with that. jayfeather is naturally very upset about disconnects with sol but like he's also dealing with stuff i...i really need to reread outcast and sign of the moon. well, they're on my list after "all of these fucking riverclan novels like why they don't show up in the main series but i still have to read a bunch to be able to write them that's not fair."

alright, well, with that very vague description of what happens, moving on, the prophecy gets revealed to the clans at a whole in like...the ending eighth of this book. trying to maximise the amount of exposure to other clans without messing with the pacing.

so jayfeather and undecided warrior B (definitively not hollyleaf) go to windclan. jayfeather is...very unhappy about this. he does not want to leave. thunderclan is his home, and he's blind, and it's really hard to adapt to a new space and he thinks everyone is going to treeat him badly.

and well, if you've read my culture posts, windclan is....very pro-medicine cats and pro-prophecy cats. funerals. mourning. prayer. is probably the best place to start, but to get to the meat of it, start with general clan culture. to summarize, windclan: religious. but kind of like catholics, they don't believe in an individual connection with starclan. only leaders, and medicine cats, and very rarely members of prophecies have a connection. so. jayfeather. he's twice over. that's very cool to windclan.

so cats are kind of falling over themselves to help him, and like. i mean jayfeather is a grouch and he hates that he needs someone to help him through the territory, but at least they don't treat it like a chore, or like he's pitiable. this is a desirable task. apprentices want to know about his powers. and kestrelflight is a respected part of the clan, arguably more important than onestar, and jayfeather has never really gotten over being shoved in the healer hole as a child like it was lesser or easier to be a medicine cat, and so it's a big change.

and yeah. so i mean. an unobservant reader might say jayfeather has sufficient ego. he does not need stroking. they, of course, would be wrong.

jayfeather has a complex, but it's not an ego issue. he's...he's been denied everything he's wanted, and he's jaded, and weary, and he's never really believed that his clan views him as able and equal. in canon, at present, he's lost almost every cat he's every cared about. alderheart is his strongest remaining tie, and his fear at losing him, but willingness to let him leave, is very telling.

so yeah, jayfeather enjoys being accepted. anyone would. he doesn't really have confidence issues, but....argh. i know why this is good i swear it'll come out in the writing.

anyway, that's...that's pretty much it. jayfeather? done.

#warrior cats #warriors au #warriors #hollyleaf #jayfeather #q #mine #txt #13th #March #2021 #March 13th 2021 #cloudtail's daughter #essay #long

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sodrippy · 4 years

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god ive been looking at u and ellian reblog quotes and tagging them with names and i was so curious and oooooh this is so cool!!! i am looking directly at it 👁️👁️👁️ if u ever feel like sharing more i would love to hear it it sounds so fucking cool

waaa claudio<333333 god how to begin to unpack them...

nyx was my dnd oc, she was a very sexy tiefling rogue, a pirate and professional thief. she’s cranky and lonesome and very straightforward. if you ask her if she stole your wallet she would simply say yes, like, what are you gonna do? fight her for it? she has 2 swords and is jacked bro, try it<3

she was abandoned at birth bc every dnd oc needs a splash of trite cliche backstory, and she didnt know this but her mom was a sea deity/abyssal demon and bc of this she had MAGIC too it was very hot, all green light and wild magic sorcery multiclassing.

her and jouka (ellians main oc) are both such reticent isolated little freaks, but they had a lovely Moment in one of our sessions and even though we didnt really know shit about each other’s characters even as players, they just so beautifully Clicked and we were like Oh Whoa....they’re both really similar in the way theyre so focused on their own objectives and orient their worldviews and values on the few people they love rather than any other fixed points and it makes the bond they have so waaaa u know?

nyx would 100% follow jouka wherever, and help him get his goal, bc she’s led such a solitary life and assumed she would die on a job or whatever, and like i said her morals are very internal. so to feel as strongly towards jouka as she does is really unexpected and surprising, but SO meaningful yk, so now her morals are bound to him and shes like. yeah i dont care i Will stay with you no matter what bro we’re IT. and they ARE fdjcnx

(ideally what happens is jouka goes on a hot little necromantic revenge quest (ill let ellian explain that) and nyx is like ‘okay bro i love you so i will help as best i can’ and she sticks with him right until the end and mercy kills him bc he asks her to, and shes so mad bc how can he ask this of her but as if she would deny him u know? which, to be clear shes not evil or amoral, but in the fantasy dnd world, morality and crime are obviously in such different and skewed placements yknow, and bc of the life she’s lived she’s fully like. yeah i care about me and the people i love, and thats about it.)

modern au nyx is japanese-american and her names akira kishi, and she suffers the same brand of asian brainrot as i do re: family gfhdnc. she ran away from home when she turned 18 and she’s best friends and roommates with jouka (and kai) and they live an asian supremacy life<3 theyre so fucking messy and fun and stupid, and nyx loves jouka and kai like family even though she will not tell kai this bc hes insufferable as it is. she’s extended her circle of tolerated individuals to accept jouka’s siblings as well even though her and lem do NOT get along at first at ALL (they reach a truce after nyx accidentally stabs lem, its fine, its not major, dont worry about it)

ok this is already so long but waaa kai<3333 he started as another dnd oc concept when i was REALLY going through it about the various brotherly bonds in mdzs and since the primary villain of our campaign at the time involved the undead, i was like o word im gonna give this guy an undead brother to chase down and avenge

so kai was a psionic sorcerer, he had telepathic abilities and could do nonverbal spells and stuff BUT he acts like he cant do shit until its like. absolute dire straits and he Has to show off fhdsjcxn otherwise hes just like waa please help me i am but a fragile little man ):

hes very fun and friendly and sweet, but hes laser focused on finding his brother and killing whoever murdered him, and he truly does not care about anyone who gets in the way of that

modern au kai is a sweetheart, but hes so spoiled and used to getting what he wants bc hes cute and Very aware of it u know. plus his older brother, xingkui, half raised him and protected him from that specific cold brand of wrath asian parents can wield u know fhdcxn so hes just like, been so cared for and protected his whole life

hes super friendly and fun, but hes quite careless with people as well bc nothings ever That Deep for him and he doesnt stop to consider that it could be for others, and when its pointed out to him he just shrugs it off like ‘ok that sounds like a them problem though’ (except he has a real soft spot for lem bc cmon how could you not)

MOST important kai fact: he has bubblegum pink hair and his wardrobe is half very nice expensive fruity clothing and half shit hes stolen from his friends and his brother

god okay theres SO MUCH MORE about all of them and the various AUs we have (gothrat au is the band jouka and nyx formed, theres a bodyguard au bc nyx is so chefs kiss perfect for that, and a detective noir au bc its sexy and why not, and so on and so forth) but ill spare u further essays about it. i love them sosososo much and not to be narcissistic but truly nobody is doing it like vallian when it comes to OCs

#vou #ugh i LOVE them claudio i love u for asking abt them #this is really just scratching the surface ellian and i never shut up about them fhdcjxn #theyre so fucking funny and iconic dude #nyx making a break up pie as if thats normal #jouka bleaching his hair in the sink and it breaks #kai buying xingkui a restaurant with company money bc he knows his brother fucking hates running a company but loves cooking #(the zhong brothers are RICH rich its insufferable and nyx is like why the fuck am i surrounded by rich freaks i hate it here)#(she still pays for everything with their credit cards though ghfdc)#joukakira is just...waa how to distill them...they just love each other sm and are FAMILY u know #beheadaed #ask

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suitofvibraniumarmor · 4 years

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** Writing Challenge **

I know, I know, my next one isn’t quite wrapped up yet, buttttt this idea came to me when my cousin and I were taking a walk down a ridiculous part of Memory Lane and I got excited. I’m guessing this has been done before at some point -- that’s not stopping me from presenting to you:

I love fluff. And I wanna see more of it!

Below the cut you will find some prompts that, in the context of Twilight, are absolutely cringe-worthy. My challenge to you is to take that prompt and make it something we can love.

Disclaimer: I’m not Twilight-shaming ANYONE. I literally sat and watched all of Eclipse and now want to watch both Breaking Dawns. It’s more about sentiment, and the occasional girly giggle for me, but ... yeah. No judgement here, friends.

Guidelines, prompts, and tags are below the cut! (Yes, I copied and tweaked from my last writing challenge. I’m being efficient, thank you! :P )

Please read all of the information carefully!

Rules, Guidelines, Important Dates:

Sign-Ups start when this post is live and will go through to December 30, 2020. I will accept two people for each prompt, one prompt per author.

Please send your sign-ups to my ask box so they’re easier to keep track of. I will answer them privately so I’m not flooding anyone’s dash!

In your ask, please include your preferred prompt and a backup option, as well as your pairing (so I don’t take the same pairing for the same prompt). Also, please let me know if you’ll be posting from a URL other than one you’re asking from.

To be included in the challenge masterlist, please post your fic (or the first part, if it’s a series) by Decemeber 31, 2020.

Please include an author’s note tagging me and mentioning the challenge in your fic post; include #BetterThanTwilightWC in the first five tags. If the tag doesn’t work, you may DM the link to me, also. If you decide to write a series, please tag me in the masterlist.

Please give me up to 48 hours to read your fic before checking if I have seen it. If I have not liked it after 48 hours, please DO check. (You know, since we’re all aware of how unreliable tumblr is. And how unreliable my mind can be. Yikes.)

The challenge masterlist will be posted between January 1 and January 4, 2020.

There are no word count limits, but please use the Keep Reading feature if your story goes beyond 500 words. Additionally, if your fic goes beyond 5000 words, please consider splitting it into multiple parts. This is not a requirement, only something to think about.

Yes, this is a FLUFF challenge, so you MUST have fluff as your main genre. You’re more than welcome to include other genres, but you MUST have a happy and/or hopeful ending.

You’re welcome to think outside of the box! Just because I’m talking Twilight and love stories, doesn’t mean there has to be romance! Give me amazing friendships or strong family bonds or self-love. Or romance! Whatever you’d like.

You're welcome to change pronouns in the prompt as necessary! Heck, I tweaked a few of ‘em so they’re not Twilight-specific.

For personal reasons, I do not read and will not accept into the challenge (which means I will not reblog or add to the masterlist) stories that include: non-con/dub-con, underage sex, adult-child romantic/sexual relationships, spouse-bashing, child abuse – I could go on, but I think you get the idea. If you’re not sure about something, I’m always happy to answer questions!

Bring on the ships, OC’s, reader pairings – I’m trying to be more open-minded as of late, but I can’t promise that I will read everything. Again, for personal reasons. But I will reblog everything!

Characters and RPFs from Marvel/MCU are both welcome.

If you need an extension or need to drop out, please know that I am extremely flexible when it comes to that deadline/due date. In the words of Captain Barbosa, “It’s really more of a guideline.” Just shoot me an ask or a message and we’ll work something out, no worries!

Prompts:

1. “I have always loved you, and I will always love you.” 2. “The clouds I can handle. But I can’t fight with an eclipse.” 3. “I know what you are.” 4. “You held out your hand and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing.” 5. “You have a connection with her that I’ll never understand.” 6. “I’m glad she has you.” 7. “It will be like I never existed. I promise.” 8. “I knew who I wanted to be. I wanted to help people. Brings me happiness.” 9. “That will take a while to get used to.” “We have a while.” 10. “What if I’m not the hero? What if I’m the bad guy?” 11. “I’d rather hear your theories.” 12. (sarcastically) “Super. That makes me really happy.” 13. “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin.” 14. “Maybe I shouldn’t be dating such an old man. It’s gross. I should be thoroughly repulsed.” 15. “It’s an extraordinary thing to meet someone who you can bare your soul to and they’ll accept you for what you are.” 16. “I’ve been waiting for what seems like a very long time to get beyond what I am.” 17. “I feel like I can finally begin.” 18. “He’s totally gorgeous, obviously. But apparently nobody here is good enough for him.” 19. “He did say I couldn’t step inside the door. I came in through the window.” 20. “I know things. Like how to hunt somebody to the ends of the earth. And I know how to use a gun.” 21. “Now I’m afraid.” “Good.” 22. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m only afraid of losing you.” 23. “About three things I was absolutely positive ...” 24. “You’re so stubborn.” 25. “Do you know how worried I’ve been?” 26. “I can’t even think about someone hurting you.” 27. “The only thing that can hurt me is you, and I don’t have anything else to be afraid of.” 28. “Don’t antagonize her. She’s the strongest one in the house.” 29. “All right. That’s enough experimenting for one day.” 30. “It never made sense for you to love me.” 31. “I wish there had been someone to vote no for me.” 32. “It’s just a little baby.” 33. “How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?” 34. “I’m not missing another fight!” 35. “No one can hide like me.” 36. “If I asked you to stay in the car, would you?” 37. “I have one condition, if you want me to do it myself.” 38. “I had an adrenaline rush. It’s very common. You can Google it.” 39. “How did you get in here?” “The window.” 40. “I love a happy ending. They are so rare.” 41. “You should put your seatbelt on.” 42. “Can you talk about something else? Distract me so I won’t turn around.” 43. “I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist.” 44. “After all the thousand times I’ve told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?” 45. “Maybe that’s why they kicked me out.” 46. “All of my best nights have happened since I met you.” 47. “You know everybody’s staring?” “Not that guy ... no, he just looked.” 48. “She wishes she was that awesome.” 49. “Does he visit often?” “Yeah, all the time.” 50. “Lie ... Lie better.” 51. “I’m Switzerland.” 52. “That should have been our first kiss.” 53. “Would you like to hear my story? It doesn’t have a happy ending -- but which of ours does?” 54. “Another party?” “It’ll be fun.” “Yeah. That’s what you said last time.” 55. “You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. I will always be yours.” 56. “The way he watches you. It’s like he’s willing to leap in front of you and take a bullet or something.” 57. “Kill me! Not him!” 58. “Stay.” “Give me one good reason.” 59. “Yeah, it’s and off day when I don’t get somebody telling me how edible I smell.” 60. “Damn it! You’ll be the death of me, I swear you will.” 61. “If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I’m not afraid of it.” 62. “Do I dazzle you?” 63. “I’m tired of trying to stay away from you.” 64. “Bring on the shackles, I’m your prisoner.” 65. “You are my life now.” 66. “And then we continued blissfully into this small, perfect piece of our forever.” 67. “Nobody’s ever loved someone as much as I love you.” 68. “I don’t know what happened.” “You love him.” 69. “All of sudden it’s not gravity holding you to the planet, it’s her. Nothing else matters. You would do anything, be anything for her.” 70. “You really love her?” 71. “I don’t see the whole point of the rest of the world without her.” 72. “Then I found a promising site ... I waited impatiently for it to load, quickly clicked closed each ad that flashed across the screen. Finally, the screen finished -- simple, white background with black text; academic-looking. Two quotes greeted me on the homepage:” 73. “I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.” 74. “I’ll be fighting for her, too, and I’ll be fighting twice as hard as you will.” 75. “It’s always been him.” 76. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you.” 77. “They’re coming for her.” “They’re not gonna touch her.” 78. “Doesn’t he own a shirt?” 79. “You know, if it weren’t for the fact that we’re enemies and that you’re also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you.” 80. “You have disappeared. Like everything else.” 81. “The absence of him is everywhere I look.” 82. “I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore.” 83. “Your number was up the first time I met you.” 84. “We all like to drive fast.” 85. “It’s too easy to be myself with you.” 86. “I’ve never given much thought to how I’d die, but dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go.” 87. “Don’t tempt me too far. My patience isn’t that perfect.” 88. “His tone questions my sanity, but it only made me more suspicious. It was like a perfect delivered line by a skilled actor.” 89. “What’s he mad about?” 90. “No measure of time with you will ever be enough.” 91. “I promise to love you forever, every single day of forever.” 92. “We’re gonna be great friends!” 93. “If I had my way, I would spend the majority of my time kissing him.” 94. “Until your heart stops beating.” 95. “I touched the cool miracle of his ski, and I was home.” 96. “Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk.” 97. “This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes.” 98. “Leave it to you ... you have to start hanging out with the first weirdos you can find.” 99. “I love him much more than I should, and yet still nowhere near enough.” 100. “I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes.”

Tags for possible interest/signal boosting (if you’re so inclined):

@captain-s-rogers @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @hurricanerin @horsesandbandsforlife @im-not-an-armrest-im-short @captain-rogers-beard @shynara51 @sea040561 @pinknerdpanda @xtina2191 @jackryanplz @beakami @heartsaved @fullprunerebelstatesman @blackwidowismyhomegirl @the-murder-strut-murdered-me @shield-agent78 @jennmurawski13 @okay-maybe-i-like-marvel-too

#betterthantwilightwc #twilight writing challenge #prompt list #queue and i remember budapest very differently

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fromzerotoeuphoria · 4 years

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my feelings on rinharu & makoharu

So as I said in my last post, I wanted to make a separate post adding my own commentary on this response thread made by @melancholycheer @chensim and @thenakedbloger to an anon who had bashed melancholycheer for shipping RinHaru. They end up saying (almost) exactly how I feel about both RinHaru and MakoHaru, and I was just applauding them along as I was reading their post!

Their reasons for not shipping MakoHaru are pretty much mine as well, and their viewpoint on how both friendships are valid are the same as mine, too. Yes, OP hates MakoHaru as a ship, but OP also respects and cares for ALL three characters, and they also respect how others may have a different ship than they do, and that’s pretty much how I view it, too (even if the ship doesn’t make sense to me) (as long as people are respectful back).

I wanted to share this convo because so many of the points made are exactly how I feel, from why RinHaru is such a dynamic ship to how I only can see MakoHaru as best friends/brothers. The things said are just 💯.

MakoHaru isn’t canon. Neither is RinHaru. Fighting about it, or acting like your ship is superior, is not only rude, but also pointless.

EXACTLY. Neither ship is canon romantically. You know what is canon? The special friendship Haru has with his best friend Makoto and the uniquely special friendship Haru has with Rin. Does he love and care for both of his friends? YES HE FREAKIN DOES.

The directors and writers purposefully give service to each pairing to attract and keep viewers and customers.

Hate to tell ya, but MakoHaru isn’t canon and it never will be. They’ve already invested too much into both ships; if they set one in stone they’d lose a lot of fans. They won’t do that.

People need to think—there's no way the creators are going to have an entire show based on the relationship between two characters who are driven by each other and are specially connected to one another, then boldly push fan service between them just to suddenly cut off a huge portion of their fandom by officially, "canonly" pairing one side of that relationship (Haru) with a totally different character (Makoto). Same goes for the fanservice they've been pushing between the Main Character (Haru) and his best friend (Makoto)—they wouldn't do the reverse (RinHaru) and cut off the other huge portion of the fandom like that, either (at least, not while the show is still has future seasons and is profitable).

Though I believe RinHaru is the closest Haru-ship to canon, KyoAni hasn’t made any romantic ship canon yet, and as this isn’t a BL anime, I doubt they ever will.

I don’t like MakoHaru. I have tried, tbh. I’ve read essays supporting makoharu and gone into the tag and looked at fanart and it all felt so weird. I can’t see them as more than friends. They have such a precious, special friendship and making them into anything more just cheapens it for me personally. It just feels…gross. i don’t mean that in an offensive way; i just can’t ship it… I can’t see them as more than friends. I just can’t.

...but honestly just watching the series, Makoto and Haru were just friends, in my opinion. Yeah, they got fan service, but even that seemed like just what it was: fan service. It seemed out of place to me. And more than that, even the fan service didn’t convince me that there was something between them. I’m not saying there’s not; don’t get mad lol, I’m just saying that for me personally I don’t see anything.

Literally exactly how I feel about Makoto and Haru's friendship. Yes, FRIENDSHIP. Makoto cares so much about Haru in a deeply loving way—it's obvious to everyone just how much Haru means to Makoto. And those who know Haru enough can also tell that Makoto means so much to Haru (S02E11 alone is proof). Makoto is such a sweet, soft-hearted, caring guy and the friendship between him and Haru is truly something special.

But okay, in all honestly and as much as Makoto is my big-lil squish, MakoHaru seems just a bit...unbalanced, like Makoto is more concerned for Haru than Haru is concerned for him. Not that Haru doesn't care deeply for Makoto because he does—it just seems like Makoto cares more because he's very demonstrative about it while Haru's personality doesn't show his emotions or feelings often. I'm very fair with that; it doesn't mean that their friendship is in any way one-sided. They just have different personalities. But in all honestly it rather comes across like Makoto has a one-sided crush on Haru (while Haru has a reciprocated crush on Rin)—that’s where the “imbalance” comes in.

That’s a huge reason why I just don't see their relationship as anything other than a close friendship (with Makoto more than likely having a crush on Haru...OR his super caring Type 2 personality could misconstrue his rock-solid love and support for his friend as a crush. That’s very possible, too). Like honestly, there’s nothing remotely passionate about their friendship with one another, nothing that would suggest they both have deeper feelings than brotherhood for one another (again, Makoto does suggest this because boy cares so strongly, ngl it be borderline smothering—but then again he does just have a soft boi personality—but Haru definitely doesn’t suggest this, not with Makoto. With Rin, however...👀).

I mean, even Will and Jem from The Infernal Devices had a more emo-dynamic-passionate brotherhood/friendship than Makoto and Haru do, and Will and Jem were in love with the same girl, not with each other. So people trying to convince others that MakoHaru is a legitimate, canon romantic OTP endgame are just...I just cannot fathom that realistically happening.

RinHaru, on the other hand, has so much passion and rawness and depth. [...] And I know some people feel that way about MakoHaru, and that’s fine, but personally, Makoto and Haruka are just best friends, but when it comes to Rin and Haru’s relationship, there’s something more urgent and pressing and desperate.

THIS! Omg thisssss x10000. URGENT. PRESSING. DESPERATE. You feel this from not only Rin, but from Haru as well. This is HUGE: here you have a kid who’s disinterested in almost everything aside from swimming, a kid who rarely expresses his emotions and runs away from things he finds “troublesome.” He relies on Makoto to handle things for him when he doesn’t feel like bothering, and at the beginning of the anime, he couldn’t wait for time to hurry up and pass so he could become “ordinary.” And I hate to point this out, but that was Haru with Makoto in his life (again, no hate towards Makoto, it doesn’t say anything about Makoto as a character, just about Haru’s feelings towards Makoto). Yet when Rin enters into Haru’s life, the apathetic, rarely-expresses-emotions kid becomes urgent, pressing, desperate to have Rin back into his life no matter how little it is.

(this got longer than I anticipated—I could talk about Haru x Rin ‘til the stars died out, for real—so I’ll put the rest under a cut)

“Well, of course you’d say that, you bias Rin!!” you may say. But see, here's the thing: I wasn't even a big fan of Rin when I was first watching the series (except for shota!Rin because I fell in love with him instantly lol). High school-Rin annoyed me with how unnecessarily rude he was to Haru and the others, and I was Team Iwatobi for a good part of Season 1. If anything, I wanted to see Rin get all emotional about and care for the other guys. I wanted to see this red-haired jerk show emotions I knew he had deep down for my guys. But then, the more I saw the dynamics between Rina and Haru play out, the more the rawness between them and that fire when they interacted with each other drew me in. I came to care about Rin the more Haru was confronted with the feelings he had towards Rin. And when Haru bolted to find Rin after Rin failed his race in S01E12, that desperation emanating from Haru—and this is HARU we're talking about, the guy who rarely shows any emotion—made me just as desperate as Haru was for him to find Rin, to make sure Rin was okay.

The dynamic between Rin and Haru is just something totally different. It's just as one of the OPs said: urgent and pressing and desperate.

Another thing about Rin is that he was barely even in Haru's life and yet he left SUCH a huge impact on it. Rin probably spent half a semester of elementary school with Haru and the boys, yet in those few months he managed to touch something so deep in Haru that our independent, aloof and inexpressive Haru...

1) started running home from swim practice because Rin did

2) went against his own policy of only swimming free because Rin got him to

3) became so saddened that Rin moved overseas that everyone around him noticed (and it was one of the first things Kisumi mentioned when he ran into Haru in high school after all those years)

4) would fall apart when swimming freestyle in a team relay because Rin wasn't part of the team,

5) had Rin always lingering in his mind all throughout middle school,

6) said that he wanted "to swim like you too, Rin" after reading Rin's letter from Australia,

7) quit competitive swimming altogether because he thought he had hurt Rin by winning the race against him that one winter break,

8) was so rattled when Rin said that he never was going to swim with him again after Rin beat him in the freestyle race at one of the tournaments that he went into a trance-like state,

9) basically collapsed after hearing Rin say that he was quitting swimming,

10) was actually on the verge of CRYING after hearing Rin say that because Haru was heartbroken at the thought that he wouldn't ever swim with Rin again

11) said that all he wanted to do was to swim with Rin when Rei asked him what he wanted

and lots more. AND THAT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF A BOY WHO WAS IN HIS LIFE FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS MAX IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

There's no way anyone can tell me RinHaru isn't a powerful, uniquely special relationship that legitimately dances in the realm of the non-platonic. No other relationship in Free! compares to the dynamic of their friendship, to the complexity of their relationship.† They're not the closest friends—Makoto is Haru's best friend and Sousuke is Rin's—but they need each other. Are driven by each other. Are lowkey consumed by one another.

If you read my initial reaction to watching Free!, you’ll know that I knew nothing of this anime before going into it. I also actually thought I wouldn’t fall for the characters (I was too hung up on my Haikyuu!! babies), nor would even really be into it. I went into this whole thing so unbiased and knowing absolutely nothing of the anime or the characters or the ships or that there was even a fandom. I knew NOTHING, so everything I experienced was on my own and for myself. I didn't care for Rin in the beginning, but Haru's complex relationship with Rin sucked me in and was the very reason why I even binged the last 9 episodes in one night; I was so enthralled by RinHaru, and I didn't even realize it until ep12 when Haru ran after Rin like that. There's just something so special and intense about the relationship between RinHaru that it will forever be my ult OTP in the Free! universe.

I actually read a comment on a forum that touched on how Rin was in Haru's life for a fleeting moment yet left such a huge and deep mark in his life and psyche, and I was so happy someone else noticed that. I saved it somewhere, and I'll paste it below because it too sums up so well my thoughts on the dynamic relationship that is RinHaru:

RinHaru 100%...They have such a deep and real chemistry I don't even know where to begin. I could talk for hours about them, but lets keep this short and sweet. Haruka and Rin met in the last year of elementary school (roughly 12) for only (about) the last 3 months of the school year. In those 3 months they managed to create a bond so strong that Haruka never forgot about the red-haired shark-toothed boy in all the years to pass. Rin had such a strong pull on Haruka that when they met in middle school and raced against each other, Haruka quit swimming competitively just because he thought he hurt Rin. Now in high school, Haruka still wants to remember the sight Rin had showed him, and still cares about him just as deeply as his other friends. With Rin he had only been with him for a mere 3 months and managed to create such a deep bond with him, whereas with Makoto he was with him for basically his whole life. While I am in no way discrediting MH, Rinharu managed to create still as strong a bond as they did in such a short period of time. The way they admire each other and strive to be better because of each other just... // too perfect to describe. It's a beautiful dynamic, not abusive in any way as some haters call them. Their relationship focuses on growth, passion, and inspiration, always being able to light a fire in each other, always the person to spur them on and make them go just a little farther. A truly spectacular dynamic, Rinharu will always be my second favorite ship.

Modified by Baki-san, Feb 28, 2018 11:23 AM

With that being said, I honestly don’t care who you ship. Yeah, there are ships I utterly hate (*cough* Rintori *cough*), but in the end the beauty of shipping is that anyone can ship anyone. What frustrates me and pisses me off is when RinHaru—the Haru ship that’s closest to canon because their feelings for each other are actually reciprocated—is not only attempted to be discredited, but Rin is accused of all sorts of heinous things (like being abusive) just so people can fluff up their own ship. But that’s a different post; for now, this is why I ship RinHaru and they’ll forever be my Free! OTP <3

† this post was written for my original blog on July 27, 2020 before I’d watched Season 3. So, pre-drama-with-Ikuya and Hiyori’s-obsession-with-Ikuya. Those are some pretty complex relationships, too

#why i ship rinharu #i can talk about my otp for forever #would this be considered meta?#free! meta #rinharu #harurin #rin matsuoka #haruka nanase #why my otp #otp #anti makoharu #i love makoto but not shipped with Haru #free! iwatobi swim club #sharkbait

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raat-jaaga-paakhi · 4 years

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(D)Evolution of Rukmini-Harana

This I wrote while brainstorming in the beginning of this month to centre my brain on what we know of Rukmini, so I could write her with (dis)regard to the texts. And what I found out in my Ruk-foray, was simultaneously intriguing and repelling. Tagging my Mahabharata people, if you want to go on Rukmini’s journey through the scriptures and the later kavyas (ancient fanfiction, guys) and don’t mind my snarky commentary in between as I try to be as analytical as possible (Warning: Strong Opinions and Wtf Moments!) – @avani008 @parlegee @incurablescribbler @shaonharryandpannisim @ambitiousandcunning @glyphenthusiast @mayavanavihariniharini @allegoriesinmediasres @walburgablack @jigyask @heyifinallyhaveablog @1nsaankahanhai-bkr from the top of my head. Under the cut, for this is detailed.

Mahabharata

Rukmini-Haran legend is outlined in several places: that Sabha scene we all seem to love unanimously, Krishna-Draupadi in exile, Arjuna describing Krishna’s feats, and in Udyoga parva when Rukmi comes to help in the war. Other times, she is mentioned as mother of Pradyumna (in fact, Pradyumna’s name is mostly replaced by “son of Rukmini”). Only details being: Rukmini was meant to be Shishupala’s, Krishna came, abducted her, fought off Rukmi who had taken an oath to not return without killing him, Rukmi builds Bhojakata due to his defeat. Rukmi is mentioned a few times to have learned battlecraft from a kimpurusha Druma (whose name is often written as Drona, eliciting confusion between Dronacharya of Hastinapur), from whom he gets Indra’s bow which is said to be equal to Gandiva and Sharnga.

- BORI CE Mbh, Translated by B. Debroy.

He comes with an akshauini to Pandavas’ camp where he is welcomed warmly enough, until he opens his big mouth and says, “Dudes, if you all are afraid of the Kauravas, I can help!” Insert big, smug smile. Krishna is present, but silent. Arjuna speaks, reminding Rukmi that he sought no help from anyone at multiple times (he goes harcore here *grins*), and wouldn’t need the same now, esp. from one like him. Disappointed Rukmi goes to Duryodhana’s camp where he’s rejected for, er, being the Pandavas’ reject and for his big mouth. Yeah. He, like Balarama, remains neutral. (Interesting that it’s Balarama who kills him, later.)

- BORI CE Mbh, Trans. By B. Debroy

There is no letter, no mention of a swayamvara, no love, nothing, sticking to Mahabharata’s rather dry style, which if stripped of its mystical elements would be a cold, clean historical narrative.

Apology: I am not giving any more screenshots (except for Bhaagavat, because it has some rather nice parts), for this would become…far too long to handle for even me. I promise you can take my word for it.

Harivamsa

Considered an “appendix” (khila) to Mahabharata, it contains the legend of Rukmini in the greatest of details. @parlegee would love to hear that her fic kalyanakirti, where Rukmini and Krishna have an early meeting before the letter and all, does have some solid basis. The legend in narrated in two separate parts: swayamvara and harana. Sadly, the first part doesn’t get into the BORI CE Harivamsa, but that is made understandable by Dr. Bibek Debroy, who comments the Harivamsa editing is indiscriminate and lacking in quality w.r.t. cutting down events, as compared to the precise and thoughtful editing of Mahabharata proper, at the very beginning of his translation. Thus, the omission, I guess. I am giving a rundown for this is what we will refer back to as we compare the later versions. (For reference, go to Mahabharata Resources online.)

Swayamvara part –

Rukmi arranges for Rukmini’s swayamvara, calling his boys and excluding Krishna (ofc), of which Krishna gets wind and arrives in class with Garuda. He is welcomed—notedly not by the king, as opposed to rules of hospitality—by his relative/father Kaisika, outside of the capital of Vidarbh in Kaisika’s own city.

Quite strangely, Kaisika and his brother Kratha offer Krishna their city; there is even some messenger fanfare with Indra.

Comment: This seems like something of an interpolation to me (it’s politically and intellectually stupid okay – why would krishna need to abduct rukmini with such pains if a part of vidarbha was already his. he could have been more politically subtle and all. it’s just horrible statesmanship), and part of the avatar-vaad or “make Krishna a god so that we can cloak his philosophies and ideas with the veil of god’s incomprehensible lilas so that no one can hope to emulate him and his decidedly non-brahmanical approach, and so they wait for his next appearance while the world burns” propaganda. Shut up, Medha, you’re going to be killed for this. Nah, brain, I will speak my truth.

Meanwhile, Jarasandha and his cronies come to know of Krishna’s arrival, get “afraid” and there is this huge-ass, strange, contradictory conversation. Jarasandha and Sunitha (read: shishupala. yeah, boi had this other, nicer name) are primarily of the view that Krishna is gonna fight them, while Dantavakra (hm, isn’t he another of krishna’s cousins?) opposes that. Shalva and the others also expressed their ideas. The exact point of this conversation is highly inscrutable because, (not) strangely, the conversation is shrouded by them praising and glorifying their arch-enemy as the “lord of the universe” and what-not. (wut? why do you all constantly fight him if you know “who he truly is” and so on? are you masochists, guys – i am seriously concerned. your opponent is apparently vishnu yet you go on fighting him knowing you’re gonna be defeated. what’s the point? medha, stfu) I mean, a professional, grudging admiration for a fellow warrior is fine, good even, but what’s this BS?

The next part is even more laughable, which I didn’t think was possible. They hear of Krishna’s “coronation” and except Rukmi, everyone attends it, even Jarasandha. Huh? Jarasandha who laughed in Krishna’s face in Mbh, called him a coward cowherd (love alliteration) outright so many times in both Mbh and HV . . . I don’t understand any of this. Is it fear for the one person you cannot seem to properly defeat? Are you trying to keep peace, because that’s ridiculous when you have gone on offence so many times. Is it that you are “honoured” to be part of such an important moment in your arch-enemy, who also happens to be “Vishnu’s poorna avatar”?

Then comes a truly interesting part – Bhishmaka and Krishna have a talk. Bhishmaka thinks it’s better to offer Rukmini to Krishna outright and that swayamvara is a stupid thing – whether it is this particular one Rukmi has arranged, or swayamvaras in general, is kinda unclear. For the sake of Bhishmaka, I will go with the first. He apologises to Krishna for not inviting him to the swaymvara for he is helpless against his ignorant son (I guess the ignorance relates to “the true form of Lord Krishna” here) and…hm, this is both exciting and…controversial? Krishna rebukes Bhishmaka quite strongly about letting Rukmi treat him as a doormat and what-not and I would be heart-eyes for he’s technically defending Rukmini in some weird, chauvinistic manner, but . . . is he? His tone is rather peculiar, if you read it. He ends his little tirade with saying that Rukmini is Lakshmi reborn and as such, meant only for him, and technically demands to dismiss the swayamvara. And then, he just…leaves with Garuda. Form your headcanons, guys. This is just too weird.

Bhishmaka is sweet-and-obedient little devotee now and does as he is told. Interestingly, this is before the formation of Dwaraka, for it is here, after the Rukmini’s swayamvara is postponed that Jarasandh and his cronies hatch the plot to use the foreigner Kalyavana to kill Krishna. (just now you attended the boy’s coronation ceremony, usually attended by allies and friends, and praised him as lord of all…make up your minds, guys)

Also, it is here that Rukmini makes up her mind to marry Krishna. Hm, a little meeting, particularly the one you wrote, Maya Di, is extremely likely!

Harana part –

After Kalyavana’s death, Jarasandha’s failure and Dwaraka’s formation, Jarasandha decides to have Rukmini married to Shishupala, just like that. Here is also said that Rukmi had gained celestial weaponry and the Brahmastra (woah!) from Druma and Parasurama respectively. Hm, looks like he was quite the excellent warrior. It isn’t specified if Parashurama only gave him the celestial weapons or taught him as well like he did with Karna – both are different things. But hey, why do people keep going to Parasurama specifically for Brahmastra? I feel bad for the big guy. [Also, here comes this strange issue, Parasurama is, by Karna’s words as well as popular perception, supposed to not hold any sort of guru-ness towards Kshatriyas, which is why the latter had to lie in order to learn from him, considering Suta is an inferior division of the main Kshatriya varna. But that’s topic for another day, Medha.]

Okay, so it is mentioned that Rukmini and Krishna both longed for Krishna, and though there’s no dialogue, it appears that Rukmi knew of this, for the text goes on to say why Rukmi won’t accept this marriage – his enmity with Krishna due to the latter killing his friend Kamsa who also happened to be son-in-law of beloved Jarasandha etc. The text says that with Jarasandha and Shishupala, also came the allied kings Dantavakra, Paundraka, and the kings of Anga and Vanga. [This…is markedly curious. Surely by this time in the epic, Karna was crowned Angaraja? For it not to be so, Krishna would have to be much, much older than the Pandavas, chronologically speaking, which is the headcanon of a popular modern writer Ashok K. Banker. But Yudhisthir and Bhima are considered Krishna’s elders many times in Mbh. There is also this strange friend/frenemy-ship between Karna and Jarasandha as they have a kind of stalemate in a fight and Jarasandha, pleased, offers Karna a city in Anga, Malinipuri, if I remember right. Does it mean that not all of Anga was under Hastinapur’s influence? Again, Medha, to dissect another day.]

Now, “to please their aunt” (Shishupala’s mother Shrutashrava), Krishna comes with Balarama and other Vrishni heroes, all welcomed by Kaisika and Kratha. Upon seeing Rukmini in her journey to pay obeisances to Goddess Indrani, Krishna, er, cannot control himself and decides to abduct her, in consultation with Balarama and others. To note that (i) even though the text expresses both their desires to be with each other, it seems like an impromptu decision to abduct Rukmini, almost as if in lust (at least, that’s what the text makes it sound like); (ii) there’s none of that “coming alone in a hurry after getting her letter” event, as per Harivamsa. He comes quite prepared, and even consults with the other Kshatriyas before going for it.

You know the drill now: Krishna abducts Rukmini as she finishes her prayers and Balarama defeats all the guards. Krishna then puts the responsibility of the war on Yadava heroes like Balarama, Satyaki, Kritavarma, Gada, Prasena (is this that same Prasena of Syamantaka incident?) etc. and sets out for Dwaraka with Rukmini. At all this, Jarasandha and his cronies Shishupala, Dantavaktra, Paundraka, kings of Anga (again!), Vanga, Kalinga and others decide to kill Krishna in a joint attack. There are small descriptions of these following duels – Satyaki vs Jarasandha, Akrura vs Dantavakra, Viprthu vs Shishupala. Shishupala, after being attacked by Atidanta, Gavesana and Brhaddurga (who are these people, gosh) kills Virpthu’s horses and beheads Brhaddurga. Balarama kills the king of Vanga and then attacks Jarasandha. All this results in the defeat of Jarasandha and his cronies.

Hearing this, Rukmi vows before Bhishmaka and if he can’t kill Krishna and bring Rukmini back, he won’t return to the capital Kundina. Note that the next part of his vow, bringing Rukmini back, isn’t mentioned in Mbh proper. He leaves, accompanied by Kratha (that devoted guy?), Amsuman, Srutarva, Venudari and Bhishmaka’s other unnamed sons.

Rukmi sees Krishna-Rukmini standing on the banks of Narmada (aw, what are these two love-birds doing on a riverbank, that’s so romantic… Medha, stop). [Also, as I argued with someone on Quora, had it been a forcible abduction, without Rukmini’s consent in any way whatsoever, considering the letter is not in HV, they wouldn’t be standing there on a riverbank, resting and doing hell-knows-what. It’s a logical fallacy, sorry.]

Seeing them together, he gets even more pissed and wants to kill Krishna in a dwairatha (dual chariot) fight. Cool stuff. Both archers fight. Krishna kills his charioteer and cuts off his chariot-banner. [What’s the thing with this? Why even bother? If you are making a statement then stop, we know who’s gonna win. Even if you didn’t win the fight, the texts would still claim you the winner. Medha, stop, you are supposed to love the man. Yes, the man, not the god men have created as a horrible substitute for the real thing. Why am I saying this now? This is a very normal archery feat if we see Mahabharata’s war parvas.] He defeats all the Vidarbhan warriors and kills many. Rukmi is not a doormat. He retaliates, cutting off Krishna’s banner as well (the garuda one! wow, boi), hurts both Krishna and his charioteer with his arrows. [Aw, and people say Arjuna only won his duels because of Krishna being his charioteer. Dude, look at this. I mean, these people straight out claim him to be God Incarnate and yet, they can’t completely smoothly modify a fight scene to suit their purposes – how sweet. Stfu, Medha.] Krishna then cuts Rukmi’s bow. [The Vijaya one? Surely Rukmi is not fighting such a serious fight without it. If so, wow. You just cut Indra’s prized bow – you really have a strong issue with the guy, don’t ya? Yeah, I feel you.]

Rukmi picks up another (here’s to perseverance), which Krishna again cuts off and crushes Rukmi’s chariot. Now Rukmi rushes at Krishna with a sword (gotta give, guy’s relentless) which Krishna cuts off and uses a sharp weapon called naracha on him which hurts him enough to render him senseless. The remaining soldiers run away. Rukmini’s pity aroused, she pleads for Krishna to spare her brother. Krishna lifts her up and reasures her (awww *waves shipping flag, completely ignoring the falling at his feet part*), then assures poor Rukmi of his safety (who seems to have woken up from his swoon by now, poor boy must have been so tired…why am I feeling so bad for Rukmi? I hate the guy! Btw, I can so imagine Krishna being cheeky here). He returns to Dwaraka with Rukmini, accompanied by Balarama and other Yadavas and his wedding his celebrated there.

There are no later versions of the legend in other texts that tally with the first part (swayamvara) seen in Harivamsa. There’s no love letter, no shaving hair-and-moustache. Let me tell you guys here only, for I don’t want to repeat this, there is no Madhavpur Ghed in the texts I have encountered (and they’re quite a bunch, as you’ll see).

Note: The evolution or composition of Mahabharata and Harivamsa are considered by old and modern scholars alike to have gone parallely, so the insertions of Rukmi’s details, his guru Druma, his bow Vijaya, etc. which seem to exactly match Harivamsa, may have been addded after that part of Harivamsa was written.

Vishnu Purana (about 300 BC-450 CE)

Rukmini-harana is narrated very shortly here, whereas in Harivamsa, it takes up a few chapters, being one of the most prominent parts of the text, as compared to Krishna’s marriage to his other wives. The entire swayamvara part, from Krishna’s “coronation” to the postponement of the swayamvara is missing here. From the harana part as well, Rukmi and his celestial weaponry, worship of Indrani, consultation with Balarama and other Yadavas before abduction, seeing Rukmini-Krishna along Narmada, details of the fights, aren’t present. Again, no love letter (though, even this extremely short version of a few mere verses speaks of Krishna and Rukmini’s mutual love), no shaving. However, it doesn’t deviate from the “original” in Harivamsa as well; it only clips away the details as if deeming them unnecesary in the larger context.

Matsya Purana (about 200-500 CE) mentions her among the Ashtabharya, here listed as – Rukmini, Satyabhama, Satya, Nagnajiti, Gandhari, Subhima, Shaivya, Lakshmana. [argh, we’ll talk about this later. just know for one that this is clearly not a very…right list, and not only in popular perception. jambavati isn’t mentioned; satya, nagnajiti, gandhari and lakshmana are having an identity crisis amongst themselves. basically, the text(s) is (are) only sure about rukmini and satyabhama. pardonable, for they happen to be krishna’s most famous wives. i feel so bad.]

Bhaagavat Purana (about 500-1000 CE)

Oh, yeah, this one is interesting. Unlike Vishnu Purana, Bhaagavat is all about the details. (reminds me of amitabh sir in badla every time i say this word.) There are omissions as well, for Rukmi and his celestial weaponry, Bhishmaka’s lineage, etc. are not mentioned. Let me go by points of difference only, since the main story has been explained in Harivamsa.

We get to hear the names of Rukmi’s younger brothers, only mentioned in HV – Rukmaratha, Rukmavahu, Rukmakesa, Rukmamali. We come to know Rukmini heard of Krishna from bards and decided he would be her perfect match. (Despite Bhaagavat’s devotional fervour that distracts from the main events, I love its version so much better in so many places.) Similarly, hearing of Rukmini’s knowledge and beauty, our boy pines for her. The relatives shipped Rukmini/Krishna as well, but only Rukmi seems to be against it, who arranges her marriage to Shishu. Learning of this, Rukmini sends a faithful old brahmin to Dwaraka with her message, who is received respectfully by Krishna. In her message, she…well, makes me fangirl. Interspersed between what seems to be fanatically devotional love for her “lord”, Rukmini calmly devises a straight and firm plan for him to follow, from the going to the temple of Girija (not Indrani, here) and the Rakshasa vivaha, telling him “not to worry” and all, and also adds a little…threat, in the end, that if he doesn’t do so, she will give up her life by fasting. Neat.

- Srimad Bhaagavat Purana

Krishna, “in love and excitement”, says that he too has been spending sleepless nights pining for Rukmini. Aw.

- Srimad Bhaagavat Purana

Added this to say, here’s the implicit metaphor of Jarasandha and his cronies being the kindling and Rukmini the diew generated by churning them. (Why am I thinking of Samudra-manthan?)

Here, Krishna doesn’t bring Balarama or any other Yadava hero with him, straight going to Kundina on his chariot with his charioteer Daruka and the brahmin, and apparently reaches within one night (which is realistically impossible, except if he had something like Pushpaka, which is not so here). There’s lot of description of pre-wedding things, where the only thing striking me is the phrase “Rukmini with fine teeth”. (I can just imagine her baring her teeth at Rukmi’s back, uff.) As Shishu sets out from Chedi with Jarasandha and his cronies who have developed a “stratagem” to kill Krishna, Balarama comes to know of the plot and sets out after Krishna with the Yadava heroes, moved by his affection for his bro. Exasperated elder brother, here he is.

A despairing Rukmini is informed by the brahmin of Krishna’s arrival in Kundina, she thanks him. Bhishmaka comes to know of Krishna and Balarama’s arrival, whereas in Harivamsa, it was Kaisika who welcomed them. There’s also this huge gathering of Vidarbhans to see Krishna and they decide that only he is fit for their princess. That’s so sweet. After worshipping Goddes Ambika/Girija, asking for Krishna to be her husband, Rukmini returns very slowly from the temple, her beauty so bewitching that a few kings “fall down from their horses, elephants, chariots”. Omfg! Lol. Krishna abducts her in presence of all those kings, who rebuke themselves and shower arrows upon Krishna, seeing which Rukmini laments in fear. Krishna consoles her, the Yadavas march against the kings; Jarasandha, Shishu and their friends have to flee to save their lives. No details are given, as compared to HV. Here, is a very interesting segment, where Shishu laments about having “lost” Rukmini and Jarasandha consoles him in a strangely fatalistic manner:

- Srimad Bhaagavat Purana

Comment: Jara actually doesn’t sound insane or just fatalistic here, imo. He sounds...manipulative af. Don’t think that was the intent of the writers (more likely it was just to forwards the idea of fate and futility as opposed to true action), but that’s what it sounds like to me. Worthy opponent for Krishna, if you ask me.

Now, there’s that drill with Rukmi and his vow, except here, he’s said to have taken an akshauhini of men. When he sees Krishna-Rukmini (no Narmada river here), he verbally insults Krishna unlike prev. versions and then attacks him.

- Srimad Bhaagavat Purana

(Even the abuse here is mild, compared to Mahabharata. I mean, think of the dice game, the Shishupala-vadha parva and so on! But still, Bhaagavat retains class, even as it propounds avatar-vaad, fatalism and fervent devotion.)

The description of battle here is more intense and long-drawn (compared to the main Yadava battle fought against Jarasandha and his cronies), with Krishna cutting down Rukmi’s banner, and then breaking three of his bows. Rukmi uses various kinds of weapons on Krishna – Parigha, Pattisa, Tomara, Camra, Shula, Asi, Shakti, etc. but Krishna remains steadfast in his defence. Rukmi then picks up a sword and rushes at Krishna; there’s no mention of Krishna having killed his charioteer and crushed his chariot. Krishna descends to thebsword-fight and brandishing his own, breaks Rukmi’s sword too. Now you know the drill, falling at his feet and all, our Rukmini. (Don’t roll your eyes, Medha.) Now...it’s in Bhaagavat we see the disfiguring first, Krishna deciding to give him some sort of light punishment, shaving off his moustache, beard and hair unevenly.

There’s another alteration here, that Balarama comes to see this and rebukes Krishna for humiliating a relative. Rukmini is apparently inconsolable and he offers Rukmini a patronising (if sensible philosophically in many places) discourse, starting with a more political note of “the conduct of Kshatriyas is hard and merciless where brother kills brother” and continuing with a lengthy philosophical lecture of the body and the soul, as in in tune with Mahabharata’s Gita, to a marginal extent. Rukmini attempts to calm down, and they return to Dwaraka. The marriage is well-described, with the addition of kings with intimate relations invited – from Kuru, Srinjaya, Kekeya, Kunti races and Vidarbh as well! Hm. Interesting. As is the inconsolable Rukmini, described earlier, which finds no mention in earlier (or a few later versions). Is it so hard to imagine a “difficult woman”, in Nikita Gill’s terms? Does she have to be a wilting flower, even though it breaks off from her prev. characterisation? I mean, she can sure be miffed at it, but for her to be so disconsolate that Balarama out of all people has to offer a huge-ass philosophical advice. Sigh. Basically, Bhaagavat more or less presents it attractively by way of supplying more materials to the story (the greatest and most landmark being Rukmini’s letter), even while it ignores some other details (like Narmada).

Brahmanda Purana (about 400-600 CE) doesn’t delineate the main legend, but Rukmini, the princess of Vidarbha, is mentioned as Krishna’s principal wife, along with the names of their sons and daughter.

Padma Purana (about 400-1600 CE)

Points of difference:

Brothers’ names apart from Rukmi not mentioned.

To fulfil her desire to marry her “lord”, Rukmini worships the gods from childhood itself and keeps sacred vows. Hm, yeah, go ahead.

Here, her brahmin is called the son of a purohita who is received by both Krishna and Balarama. Rukmini’s words in her message are not there anymore (a format which will be followed by every later version except the kavyas) as opposed to the beautiful plan in Bhaagavat and, they both set out for Kundina. No army of Yadava heroes accompany them.

Rukmini goes to the temple by her chariot rather than by foot, at evening, none of which is mentioned in prev. versions. After the abduction, it is Balarama who singlehandedly routs all the kings headed by Jarasandha, using his plough (Langala) and Musala (…the same weapon they use in the fratricidal war of Mausala parva, incidently; so it has some other source than that “curse” where Samva delivers this “new weapon” called musala).

There’s no mention of Rukmi’s vow.

When Rukmi attacks Krishna, he laughs and defends himself with his bow Saranga, a bow presented by Indra. Keeping with both HV and Bhaagavat, dear Krishna obligingly cuts of Rukmi’s bow, his banner, his charioteer’s head and crushes the chariot. There’s Rukmi with his sword, and Krishna with a sharp knife.

Interestingly, there’s no objection or plea or falling at his feet from Rukmini, but Krishna still doesn’t kill him, letting him go by his own free will. That doesn’t stop him from laughing and shaving the hair on his head, though. The beard and moustache are forgiven.

Despite not having taken the vow, apparently the humiliation is enough for Rukmi to built Bhojkata in Vidarbh outside of Kundina, keeping with all prev. versions.

No Madhavpur again. What’s interesting here, is that Nanda and Yashoda and other cowherds are present in the wedding in Dwaraka, unlike popular perception which says Krishna never met his adoptive parents after having left Vrindavana.

Skanda Purana (about 600-1200 CE)

It is narrated to Yudhisthir by Markandeya about the significance of some Rukmini teertha. Points of difference:

Rukmini’s mother is mentioned to be “Mahadevi”. This could also be a title, since queens were also addressed thus. Rukmini is said to be her second child, younger to Rukmi and elder to the other brothers, whose names aren’t mentioned.

At her birth, there is this prophecy about her marriage to this four-armed divine person by a bodiless voice, kinda like Kamsa’s akashvani. Sure, go on. Marry her to Krishna right as she’s born, why don’t you? It’s destiny after all. Can I add that the previous love affair between Rukmini and Krishna is also not mentioned.

Damaghosha, king of Chedi and Shishupala’s father goes to Bhishmaka with a marriage proposal, more in accordance with a marriage as we see it now as compared to the prev. versions (where Jarasandha and Rukmi are instrumental), as also the prevalent nature of marriage of those days w.r.t. Mahabharata.

These two develop attraction to each other just prior to the abduction, in the vein of Harivamsa, but Harivamsa does speak of mutual pining long before the abduction.

The brahmin messenger, the role or even the name of Jarasandha, Rukmi’s fierce vow – nothing finds mention.

Unlike prev. versions, Krishna and Balarama are invited by Bhishmaka to Rukmini’s marriage. No other Yadava hero is mentioned to have accompanied, similar to Padma Purana.

It brings back the river Narmada, where Rukmini and Krishna were resting and Rukmi stumbled upon them, which is only found farther back in Harivamsa.

Now, the battle with Rukmi gets interesting here. There is no archery or even swordfight; rather, Krishna takes his chakra to battle. Fearful, Rukmini asks Krishna to bless her brother with the “divine eye”. Krishna obeys, “pleased” by Rukmini. Rukmi’s ignorance taken away, he offers auspicious prayers to Krishna, who, pleased at the brother this time, blesses him and speaks “blissful words”. Rukmi happily goes back to Kundina. No Bhojkata, no insult, no killing or fighting.

Even the marriage isn’t celebrated in Dwaraka, but on the very banks of Narmada, in the presence of pious sages and other brahmins.

A long explanation of the significance of Rukmini tirtha is given in details, which we don’t find in prev. versions and which I have no energy to go over, for it isn’t significant to either the topic, or even Rukmini in general.

In a nutshell, Skanda Purana takes a decided and marked departure from the martial, the political and the more realistic, to the more mystical realms that have surrounded Krishna and his actions. Do we see a pattern here?

Brahmavaivarta Purana (about 700-1500 CE)

God, I hate this one so much. In a nutshell, guys, it goes several steps ahead of Skanda Purana and goes for a classic social marriage, as is prevalent nowadays. There’s no abduction, no Shishupala, no love, no resistance from Rukmi, no agency from either the bride or the groom. Nothing.

[Instead of Rukmini-harana, or even Rukmini-swayamvara, the headings become “Rukmini Udvaah Prastaav varnan” (description of proposal of Rukmini’s marriage) and then, “Rukmini Vivaahe Yuddham” (fight in Rukmini’s marriage). Credit where credit’s due, I learnt from an online friend about the Sanskrit titles.]

No message is sent by Rukmini, but a brahmin messenger does go with a proposal of marriage. He is sent by Bhishmaka instead of Rukmini. What’s more, the letter was addressed to Ugrasena, and it’s not Krishna, or even Balarama, who receives the proposal. It is Ugrasena, stepping into the limelight where before he had no role to play except that of a figurehead and a tortured father as per the texts.

In Kundina (described in detail for the first time, with the classic mahajanapada-style ditch around it), Krishna and Rukmini have a nice social marriage, presided over by all the elders and kings, with Bhishma, Drona, Duryodhana etc. and the Pandavas in attendance. Again, no mention of Jarasandha, but there’s a fight between Balarama and Shishupala, Dantavakra, Rukmi and Shalva, ending in a sorta mysterious, inconclusive defeat.

How interesting is it, that Brahmavaivarta is a text dedicated to, er, Radha-Krishna, an idea that didn’t exist until the Bhakti movement. So they just decide that no, such a daredevil mariage between lovers won’t do. It has to be society forcing these two together (rather than apart, as we see in Mahabharata et al), because it is Radha and Krishna whose relationship is against society, the rebellion of rebellions in the name of true love nd devotion, blah-blah. Forgive my tone, please, but I am pissed off, ‘kay?

The concerted effort to make everything in Krishna’s life, except Radha (oh, because they are the Supreme in Goloka, which is even above Kailasa and Vaikuntha, and nothing can separate them and all), socially acceptable because he’s their “God” who can do no wrong except if in “true love for Radha” (when the dude clearly rebelled against society any chance he got) is ridiculous. Esp. this! Damn, don’t make my girl into this insignificant little thing. Harivamsa and Vishnu Purana were silent about Rukmini’s letter too, but at least both mentioned clear attraction and interest between Krishna-Rukmini.

Digressing: Also, why is Krishna such a sap here, suddenly? Or why does the Radha-Krishna pairing (which originally symbolises the Jeevatma-Paramatma or devotee-god relationship,) need Krishna to chase her ceaselessly and for all his actions to lead up to her, despite him advocating being a man of action in the real world? I am sorry for being so vocal; it’s probably just my pent-up frustration from that horrible Radha-Krishna serial where this Krishna (gosh, I can’t even call him that!) finds a reason to cry every single time. I would have forgiven it had they cut off the Vishnu’s avatar perspective and kept only the lover boy part, but they keep it and they still make him a crybaby. What’s worse…at the times he should actually feel bad, he’s “calm” af, looking as if he has transcended every human emotion, and just patronises people. Such hypocrisy. Look, I have nothing against men who cry; in fact, it’s heartening to have men strong enough to embrace their emotions, esp. publicly; similarly, there is nothing wrong with suppressing them (apart from the mental health issues it generates, but we are no one to judge). But people, when you are making an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient character…keep the BS consistent at least?! (Sorry, civility.)

Agni Purana (about 800-1100 CE) only mentions Rukmini as one of the eight principal wives.

[Devi-Bhaagavata Purana gives a brief outline sticking to what’s known. It says that in Rukmini’s swayamvara, Shishupala is specifically invited (this is the popular notion, and what I personally believed too, and still find myself going for). Krishna, with Ugrasena’s permission (not mentioned in prev. versions; as opposed to consulting with his fellow warriors in HV), takes Rukmini in Rakshasa vivaha. It also mentions that he later married Jambavati, Satya, Mitravinda, Kalindi, Nagnajiti, Bhadra, Lakshmana. (Satyabhama is not present. She seems to have been confused with Satya, whose other name is Nagnajiti, princess of Kosala.)

Kalki Purana goes for this elaborate Rukmini vrata which grants desired husband to a lady as a fruit of the vrata, where Rukmini is accorded deity status alongside Krishna, seemingly for the first time (not considering the temples dedicated to both). A woman named Sharmistha (strangely similar to Sharmistha of Yayati, Puru’s mother, who too hankered after Yayati) offers oblations to Rukmini-Krishna, saying a prayer: “O Lord, offerer of boons, accept the camphor, molasses and sandalwood with your beloved Rukmini, princess of Vidarbha. O lotus-eyed one, possesor of pitambara and four arms, supreme of gods. Please be satisfied with me and protect me with Rukmini.” It’s far longer, but this is the gist. Is this still Krishna we are speaking of? Huh, all these rituals and Krishna don’t sit well.]

I have only been able to catch hold of so many texts, and of the others, Markandeya Purana (about 250-700 CE) and Shiva Purana (about 1000-1400 CE) do not even mention Rukmini. Mudgala Purana only says Lord Krishna had 16,008 beautiful wives and washes its hands off.

Note: Mathematician and Vedic shastra writer Baudhayana cites Rukmini/Krishna as an example of Rakshasa vivaha.

Sanskrit Literature

So after the Puranas kinda close off the (d)evolution with turning such interesting stuff to the dry social marriage w.r.t. to the parallel evolution of Radha-Krishna, where the concept of Krishna shifted completely from a socio-political persona with mild godlike touch to become a complete love god (as also the lord of the universe)… Rukmini rises again in later literature, of what, by modern standards, would be ancient fanfiction. Lol. There are loads of poetic descriptions (think Kalidasa) that embellishes the narrative – for example, the beauty of sunrise described for paragraphs onto paragraphs. (Yeah, I skimmed those. I was too interested in some Rukmini action. Will appreciate the poetry later.)

References are made to the Rukmini-haran incident in Shishupala-vadham by Magha in around 600 CE, in the 2nd canto, where Balarama, Krishna and Uddhava are in conversation, planning to kill Shishupala. (I hate this.) The entire canto is full of controversial speeches. Balarama refers to Krishna abducting Rukmini from her swayamvara and defeating Shishupala as being the latter’s prime reason for animosity, saying things like “women are the root of all enmity”.

It is referred to in Bhavabhuti’s Malati-Madhav as well, a love story between Malati and Madhav (son of a Vidarbhan minister), where in a convo between friends, a lady says something like “Purushottama Krishna accepted Rukmini, the mother of Kandarpa (Pradyumna being considered Kama’s rebirth), at her self-choice (swayamvara) ceremony”.

There is Bhagavata-Champu (don’t laugh) by Ananta Bhatta before 1500 AD and Sri-Gopala-Champu by Jiva Goswami. Both show their retellings to be derived from Bhaagavata purana (I’m so glad). In fact, in some places, like Rukmini’s letter and Balarama’s consolatory speech after Rukmi’s humiliation, the lines (as per the translated hardcopy in my home) seem to have been picked up directly from Bhaagavata. So it must be that the original Sanskrit lines were as well. The only thing that differs in Sri-Gopala-Champu is the premise of the story. Two messengers from Krishna tell the story to Nanda, Rukmini’s attributes coming up in the conversation. Radha and her fellow Gopis are mentioned as being present and eulogised. (Can no one let my girl have a moment?) But I love these few lines from the convo. The listeners speak thus (not the exact translation, but I don’t have the book rn):

“Although a girl, she is very intelligent and brave.”

“Is she a girl?” (Omfg, I laughed so much at this)

“No, never. She is a tense female elephant.” (The comparison is aimed to be praising of the confident, slow gait of an elephant in Sanskrit poetry, not in the modern way a woman might be called en elephant. Warriors and great women hav often been compared to elephants. There also seems to be an oxymoron as she is described as being tense or edgy, perhaps an allusion to being cautious…Hm, the spy headcanon, @avani008 and @allegoriesinmediasres? *grins excitedly* Oh, we’ll take anything, won’t we?)

“She is fearless, because she is a princess.”

Intelligent, brave, fearless, cautious…oh yeah, all my personal headcanons too.

Other Sanskrit works are as follows, to the best of my knowledge, some gathered from my grandparents and some from friends. I don’t know if their online versions are available, will have to see.

Bhaismi-Parinaya-Champu by prolific poet Ratnakheta Srinivasa Dikshita (South India) around late 16th century. also based on the Bhaagavata version. His son, renowned scholar Rajachuramani Dikshita wrote the Rukmini-Kalyana-Mahakavya (flourished in late 16th and early 17th centuries), possibly one of the most important Sanskrit works on the incident. This one, I unfortunately haven’t read, but have heard about from my late eldest grandfather. Two whole cantos take up Krishna’s mental affliction and pining in a pleasure garden of Dwaraka at the thought of his beloved Rukmini. Aw. Basically, Sanskrit poetry used to be all about elaborate descriptions and comparisons which would veer far, far away from the context, which in these times would be considered redundant and unnecessary. I agree, sort of. I would rather read about political machinations, rather than devotional poetry that distracts us from the issue at hand, thank you very much. Stfu, Medha.

We have Parvati-Rukminiya by astrologer poet Vidya Madhav in late 17th century, which narrates two marriages at a time – Shiva/Parvati and Krishna/Rukmini. Rukmini-Parinaya was written by Ram Varman of Trivancore in the middle 18th century.

Rukmini-Haranam-Mahakavyam, by Kashinatha Sharma Dvivedi, was published first in 1966 AD. (This one, my eldest grandmother straight up read to me, Bengal-ising it while she read. It was arduous, but I was old enough to bear the long hours.) Here, we find a few deviations from Bhaagavat – We find a long description of Rukmini straight up from birth to youth (yikes, that’s what I was attempting to do in my Yugantaram fic). It’s not a lot of characterisation, though – mainly dramatisation, if I remember correctly. (Unfortunately, I don’t know if we have that book any more.) The second canto has a description of Narada, who comes to Bhishmaka’s court bearing Krishna’s tales, which we don’t find in prev. versions, and who appears in the first canto of Magha’s Shishupala-vadham as well. In the third canto, Rukmini, hearing all this, falls in love and is treated by the royal physicians and offered consolation by her friends. (Here’s to one of my best-beloved lines of Hema’s Meerabai, ‘Is love an affliction, that you can cure?’) The next four cantos dramatise and stretch this love-struck Rukmini – with lovely descriptions of the moon, the seasons, the royal garden, etc. The next three cantos describe Rukmini’s marriage being fixed to Shishu by Rukmi, her sending the brahmin messenger to Krishna, a vivid description of Krishna’s beauty (as a young gal, I fell in love with that, yeah, I know, sorry) and an equally beautiful description of the dawn (which may be compared to the description of dawn in Shishupala-vadham by Magha… people are really fond of poeticising political and social issues to hide their significance behind glamour. Medha, stop). In the next canto, Krishna begins his journey to Vidarbha with obeisance to Lord Shiva, which isn’t present anywhere else. It is worth mentioning that the poet also starts his epic poem with salutations to Shiva as well, and states that he composed the entire poem with the grace of Lord Shiva. There’s a lot more descriptions, along with the deviation of Rukmini being guarded on orders of Shishupala rather than those of Rukmi, but the skeleton is all Bhaagavat. Sharma Dvivedi has been inspired heavily by Magha. It stands that his Rukmini-Haranam-Mahakavyam is the most successful rendering of the legend.

It has come to my knowledge that there are other Sanskrit literary works on these two as well but…I just don’t have the energy, sorry. There is a time and place for poetry and devotional fervour. Let me just say, with absolute relish on my side, that it is the Bhaagavat version that is preferred by our predecessors unanimously and all the Sanskrit literature is based on that. Personally, my go-to is Harivamsa and Bhaagavat as well, especially since they have the oldest layers of puranic text. I mean, just imagine, if all later retellings had been based on Brahmavaivarta rather than Bhaagavat. There would be no Rukmini-lovers at all! I mean, the first love does start from the most popular version, after all. It never fails to intrigue me, how legends undergo these modifications, and none of it is a coincidence.

Much love,

Medha

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proud-losers · 5 years

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Mileven and Byler outcome depictions in episode of All My Children

So, this is my first contribution to the Byler/Byeler tag. I was recently very inspired by @kaypeace21 to dig deeper into Stranger Things, since, after watching season 3 and noticing some things more strongly, I wanted to get much closer to the series than I previously was. I’m also quite new to using tumblr and sharing, so sorry in advance if I mess up something or someone’s already covered everything here! Or if I don’t exactly explain well enough what’s in my head.

There’s this moment in episode 2 of season 2 where El is watching television and one of the channels shows an episode of All My Children (and this episode would’ve been released around the time El is watching it, so that’s very good homework done by the Duffers). What I have is obvious where Mileven and Byler are concerned on the surface level, and after reading kaypeace’s content, but I think these are cool additions to what she talks about so here I go anyway:

The full scene goes as follows:

Alright, now to unpack.

The Duffers said they showed El watching Frankenstein (in this same episode) to depict how El feels like a monster, so why wouldn’t this episode of All My Children contain some sort of deeper significance? This one clip both describes and foreshadows what happens in season 3 between Mike and El and what will happen later between Mike and Will.

I did some research on the background of this All My Children episode’s context and realized the episode El is watching comes after Erica Kane, the woman in-scene, loses her husband in a tragic accident (in which he did not actually die, but this is irrelevant to the main points I’m drawing) and rather quickly gets involved with a man whose name happens to be Mike (same man in-scene). Erica and Mike get together quickly after Erica’s husband’s “death,” and Mike wants her to marry him very shortly after they meet—too quickly after and even during a tragic circumstance. It’s reminiscent of the way in which El gets together with Mike: quickly and born out of tragic circumstances. The word “impetuous,” is specifically highlighted in the scene. It means to be impulsive, rash, hasty: all perfect descriptors of how fast El and Mike supposedly ‘fell in love’ and get together.

It is also important to note that, with Mike’s proposal, the scene’s dialogue cuts off before Erica agrees. The audience isn’t allowed to hear it, which seems intentional. Perhaps because El will move away from her relationship with Mike. Because Mileven won’t be together in the end, just as Erica and Mike ultimately aren’t together in the end either.

When it comes to associating the two Mikes, it’s incredibly interesting that Erica not only says her Mike’s proposal is sudden but is also ‘not like him.’ Fans of All My Children say Mike professes his ‘undying love’ for Erica very shortly after their meeting; again, it’s too quick of a confession, and how can he already be so sure his love is so undying and true? Mike says he is this way—“wild and impetuous”—because Erica made him that way. Now, based on kaypeace’s posts regarding Mike Wheeler’s sexuality and not truly being in love with El but rather Will (example: https://kaypeace21.tumblr.com/post/186074563119/yeah-mike-is-in-denial-and-lying-about-being-in), Mike is with El because there is security with her. It is ‘not like him’ to be in this sort of [heterosexual] relationship in which he is only in it—impetuously so—because of El (highlighted gesture El makes to herself while saying “Me?”), or rather he is ‘this way’ because of the idea of her.

Segway to the highlighted line: “People are going to be aghast.” This line gives me two interpretations, likely going hand-in-hand. Mike and El being together in season 3 do cause a number of “aghast” reactions: Dustin calling it out as “bullshit,” Hopper not finding their relationship normal, Max not approving of the way El is treated, etc. People should be ‘loving it,’ the perceived normalcy of it from Mike’s perspective perhaps, but this relationship is ill-fitting. Even the kiss El initiates in the finale of season 3 shows a very obviously discomfited and confused Mike; he could be thinking ‘I should be loving it,’ and yet it would just not be like him to love it because he is not truly in love with El. There’s also the thought of the aghast reactions toward Byler when it comes about, because it will ‘stun the whole town [Hawkins]/the whole world [viewers perhaps?].’ What of the “they’re gonna love it” line then? The people who matter are going to love them.

There’s certainly more that can be expanded on here, though I think reading kaypeace’s stuff shows the expansions clearly already. Even without the background context, however, just the dialogue alone and the words El highlights points to her relationship with Mike + eventual Byler. I wouldn’t put it past the Duffers to have made this intentional with the background context regardless, since they went as far as to carefully select this particular episode that played in the fall of 1984. Of any other romantic soaps that could’ve played for El, why one with this sort of context that is relevant to El, Mike, and Will? It’s yet another thing in Stranger Things that consistently hints to what’s coming next with these characters, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

#byler #byeler #go read kaypeace21's metas and theories

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aceofwhump · 4 years

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Submitted by anon:

Hey!

Sorry if this is all just a rambling mess or too personal to even be asking you in the first place (if so, please feel free to ignore away) but I’ve been questioning a lot lately whether or not I might be asexual & I was just curious about how you knew you were? I keep going through moments (especially after reading about other people’s experiences in the whump community) of thinking for certain that I am but then I end up thinking things over and doubting it.

I can say for certain that I do find people hot/handsome/attractive/sexy/yada yada but I can’t really tell whether that’s in a sexual way or not? I don’t really ever look at a person & think ‘god they’re hot, I’d love to f*ck them’ but then surely nobody does that without establishing a relationship with the person first, right?

Most of the time I’m not really ever instantly attracted to a person (if you showed me a photo, for example and asked me if I found that person hot I’d probably be pretty indifferent) but (and this is mainly in regards to celebrities) once I’ve been familiarised with them and their personality and seen them in a few things, say interviews and movies or stuff, I may develop an attraction to them (this is particularly true when it comes to seeing actors getting whumped, I find that most of my attractions form that way tbh).

Of course there’s the odd occasion where a person may be undeniably attractive & aesthetically pleasing and I’ll be attracted to them on the offset but it’s rarely the case.

Other than that, despite maybe a couple of people that I’ve found kind of pleasant to look at, I don’t think I’ve really ever been attracted to anyone I’ve known in person, at least not in that way.

Also, whilst sex scenes themselves don’t neccessarily make me uncomfortable (can’t say I get the appeal but it doesn’t really offend me in any way), if there’s a scene involving the nudity of an actor that I’m attracted to (as in full frontal) it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I guess that could just because it feels like an invasion of privacy as opposed to anything else though. I’ve been occasionally known to watch certain things to deal with particular urges and nudity doesn’t bother me then so I have no clue why it does in other situations.

I’ve also never had a relationship or been intimate with anyone in any way, nor can I say that I’m particularly interested in having one/doing so. I’m kind of introverted & socially awkward so maybe that’s a factor but I also don’t know if my disinterest in relationships is related to the whole concern & expectation of having to have sex with someone. I also don’t even know for certain that I’m 100% against the idea of sex. The thought of sex is not really something that appeals to me & I feel like I would happily die without ever experiencing it but I also wouldn’t say I’m entirely repulsed by it? I’ve occasionally daydreamed about characters doing the deed (never myself with anybody else though).

Also, this final part may will sound extremely cheesy so I apologize in advance but sometimes I see characters being all soft and adoring and affectionate with eachother and I kind of think f*ck man I want that. That could just be the whumper in me always seeking that comfort side of things that is so lacking though or maybe it’s just me thinking I want it because it’s supposed to be what everyone wants in life.

This was only supposed to be a short ask and instead you got an entire essay of me rambling about myself ahsgshsh, I’m so sorry! My mind is literally a mess😂.

TL;DR Idk I’m just very confused 🤔

Mod reply below:

Hi hun!! Don’t worry about a long message cause my reply got just as long lol.

I'm really glad you felt comfortable coming to me with this and I'm more than happy to help if I can!

First let me tell you a bit about how I worked out that I am both asexual and aromantic (this might be a jumbled mess so I apologize in advance for that)

So I found asexuality in 2014 and pretty damn quickly accepted and knew that I was asexual. I went through the tumblr tag (back when it was full of people’s experiences and feelings and so much positivity) and related strongly to other asexual people’s experiences. Some of those things included:

Not wanting kids

Having absolutely zero interest in ever having sex. Can go my whole life without and be just fine thanks

Not once have I seen another person and thought about having sex with them

Thought sexual attraction was either a myth/made up or only developed after you knew the person for a long time

Don’t understand why people on tv break up with each other over sex. It’s not that important, right?

Thinking people are “hot” or “sexy” but that just means aesthetically pleasing. Like a painting.

Having a sex drive but would rather take care of it myself than have sex. It’s like an annoying itch. I get annoyed, I scratch it, it goes away, I’m good.

Avoided sex ed whenever possible because I was uncomfortable with sex.

Don’t read smutty fanfic.

Sex on tv makes me uncomfortable not aroused.

Why are people obsessed with butts??? I don’t get it.

Hate when main characters get together in tv shows because that usually means they’re going to have sex and WHY DO THEY NEED TO HAVE SEX?? Isn’t love enough? I don’t get it!!

The idea of getting married and having to have sex with that person that night is horrifying.

All the universal asexual symbols and things that the community has. Like the playing cards, the black ring, the aces love cake, aces love pizza, that stuff. I loved and agreed with every single one. I know the other sexuality do this do but I never saw those, laughed, and went “yeah that’s me!” Just asexuality.

It only took a day if researching before I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was asexual. All these experiences and feelings my fellow asexuals felt really fit with my own experiences.

HOWEVER

My aromantism was a lot harder for me to pin down. I think I went through 4 different romantic orientations before working out how I felt. It was all so confusing and I couldn’t tell what was romantic, what was sexual, and what was neither. I didn’t understand it at all and I spent a long time confused. With sexual attraction I knew I didn't feel that. Never once felt that desire to have sex with a specific person. Not ever. But romantic? I thought I had felt that. Couldn't be sure though. I'm sure now but back then I was very confused. I started thinking I was hetero-romantic because I was only every "interested" in guys but it didn’t quite feel right. Next I found the word cupioromantic which was you don't feel romantic attraction but you still desire a romantic relationship. I wore that label for a short time but once again it wasn’t quite right. Every time the possibility of a relationship into my life I ran cause I didn’t want it. Next I found lithromantic which is you feel romantic attraction but as soon as its reciprocated it goes away. I thought hey that’s it! But I finally I took a very hard look at myself and my interactions with people and what it was I actually did feel and decided that I was truly aromantic. I just didn’t want to be labeled as such because I was a huge romantic and I felt like this label meant I couldn’t have one. It took a while but now I know that isn’t true at all. I know now that I don’t actually want a relationship but I want the closeness with someone that being in a relationship entails. I can get that with friends. I went through the times I thought I had felt romantic attraction and tried to fit them into the attractions above. What I felt for that one girl in my English history course? Yeah that was platonic? That actor I think is super hot? That's aesthetic. I'd love to just cuddle with and be touched by my one friend? Sensual. The one guy I dated? Yeah I only dated him because he liked me not because I felt anything for him.

Other things that helped me realize I don’t feel romantic attraction:

I have had one boyfriend my entire life (high school, lasted 10 months) and I hated it. I didn’t like holding hands with him. He asked to kiss me and I told him no. I thought (still do) that kissing was gross and no way did I want to do that. I hated when he kissed my cheek or held me too long. I didn’t understand his strong emotions toward me nor did I understand why people dated. I didn’t get it. I didn’t like it.

I have had fake crushes/faked “they’re hot, would totally hit that” because I thought i was supposed to feel that way about people. Everyone had crushes or wanted to kiss and have sex with someone else. I never did. Didn’t get it.

I thought a crush was someone you chose. Like, I thought you went “That guy/girl is funny and nice. I now decide to have a crush on him.” But apparently that is not true at all.

I have no desire to get married or date. In fact I prefer to live my life without it.

I’ve never looked at someone and felt or developed what can be described as romantic feelings.

Those times I thought I did were really just platonic feelings. I wanted to be their friend. Not their girlfriend.

I think whumperflies are the closest I’ve ever come to feeling something akin to sexual attraction but I personally don’t classify it as sexual attraction. I also get that feeling seeing someone get comforted and being soft and affection and wanting that. For me, I think that’s me being touch starved af. I’d love to have someone to cuddle with and have it not be sexual or romantic. Sounds like maybe you do too. And that’s okay :)

Based on your words and feelings I'd suggest you take a look at the following terms. They might help you pin down how you feel. They certainly helped me

Demisexual/Demiromantic: where people only experience sexual attraction to folks that they have close emotional connections with. In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed.

Gray Asexual/Gray Romantic: in which a person may only experience sexual attraction on occasion

Sex repulsed/neutral/positive: How you feel towards sex and/or having sex. You can be positive about it, feel repulsed by sex and sexual acts, or be completely neutral about it

Sexual attraction: looking at someone and wanting to have sexual content with them.

Romantic attraction: wanting to have a romantic relationship with a certain person.

Aesthetic attraction: thinking someone is pleasing to look at. Appreciating their appearance.

Sensual attraction: wanting to touch/cuddle/be physically close to a person.

Platonic attraction: wanting to be friends with a person

To me it sounds like you could be demi or gray but it’s ultimately up to you. If you feel like any of those terms fit you then don’t be afraid to accept that label. And if you change your mind as you learn more about your self and want to use a different label then that’s totally cool! Like I said, I went through 4 different romantic labels before finding one that fit. Try things on and see how it feels for you.

I also suggest checking out some of these blogs because I found them really helpful. @asexualityexists @asexualfacts @asexualawarenessweek @acejokes @thehumorousace @outer-space-aro-ace @a-spec-tacular @life-of-an-asexual

You can also feel free to scroll through my main blog asexual tag if you want. http://thewanderingace.tumblr.com/tagged/asexual

I don’t know if any of this was helpful or not but if you have any other questions don’t be afraid to message me! I’m happy to help where I can!

#ask #submission #mod replies #not whump #asexual #asexuality #mod post

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intheoryowl · 3 years

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Diversity in KOTLC

[While commenting on this post please don't post spoilers for Unlocked just yet. Thanks. This post may contain legacy spoilers. This post is a repost of my Wattpad post that I made in Sunflower Crown called Diversity in KOTLC, so if you’ve seen this already please feel free to skip it. This post lines up with MLK day, but it was originally posted in reaction to Shannon Messenger announcing the live action movies.]

[Edit: Okay, after typing this post up I realize that there are a few more characters that are POC, but they’re not prominent at all, so the representation is still miniscule. They were mentioned, like, twice throughout the entire series. So, my point still stands.]

What's one thing you notice about the photo above?

Oh, yeah. All the characters are white, expect for the last three in the photo, which are all conveniently tacked onto the end.

Let's address the elephant in the room for everyone in the Keeper of the Lost Cities fandom. Recently, I've been thinking a lot about how little diversity there is within the cast, especially within the main group. I've been meaning to make a post about this since the #BLM movement started up, but I never got around to it.

I've found that a lot of the people in the fandom have been incredibly shy about having this conversation, but I think it's really time we have it. The cast contains very little diversity.

Disclaimer: Before anyone comes at me for this post, I'd like to first say that I've been a huge KOTLC fan and a big fan of Shannon Messenger's work for a long time. This isn't meant to be any sort of hate post, but instead a conversation I think we all need to have.

Let's start with the format of the art up above^.

First of all, out of eight characters 3 of them are POCs (or not white). Wylie isn't even in the main group/doesn't really enter the story until much later in the series. The same goes for Linh and Tam. They're all tacked onto the end of the photo, like they're just add-ons.

These three characters are the only characters I know the race of that are POC characters. Out of the entire series. Yes, the entire series. [And I would say that's the case for most people that aren't superfans or recently phased out of the series before art was starting to be released.] I wouldn't say I'm the biggest fan out there, but there aren't that many prominent characters in KOTLC, and just about every single one of them is white.

It feels like a last-ditch throw in when Shannon Messenger went *oops I forgot about diversity entirely!!*. I mean, think about it. Tam, Linh, and Wylie entered the series later on than everyone else.

The lack of diversity, quite frankly, I find ridiculous. And not even just because there are three characters out of eight in that photo (one of which that is POC isn't even in the main group, nevermind the original main group) are POC, and prominent characters. Not only is there a lack of diversity when it comes to race/features that aren't white, but Shannon Messenger also includes exactly zero LGBTQ+ representation throughout the entire series. There is nothing hinted, nothing said. Gender norms are never addressed in the story, and that's fine. But for there to be no gay/pan/aro/ace/freaking anything on the spectrum representation?? No trans representation? Non-binary? Hello??? I get that when she started the series LGBTQ+ characters might not have been something you saw in every single book, but even as new characters are added in we see absolutely no LGBTQ+ representation still. There's not even anyone questioning their sexuality or their gender identity. Nowadays, that's not only a huge part of being a teenager (I would know, I'm one), but also just something you would think is key in the identity of a character.

As a writer, when I start writing a book, one of the first things I do is make sure I know who I want my characters to be. Gender identity, race, sexuality, all of this - these are such fundamental parts to a character. Truthfully, i don't understand how you could just overlook them whatsoever. It's a choice you have to make, not a default setting that's already been turned on for you. I think - even to someone incredibly racist - that as an author writing a book, one would be aware of the outward appearance of their characters? Or the fact that all of the characters had one very certain thing in common? It's hard to miss, frankly, and it looks really bad.

There's really no excuse for it at the end of the day. You can't explain away the facts, and the facts are that the lack of diversity within KOTLC is concerning.

With KOTLC as well, the book doesn't even center around identity for the most part. It's fantasy, and that's what runs the plot, not someone's struggles with race. It really would've been just that easy for Shannon Messenger to throw in a few POC characters or people that weren't straight, maybe mention it in passing, and be done with it and we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

Another thing I'd like to bring up is the microaggressive character arcs of Linh and Tam song, the only two out of the entire central friend group that are diverse characters. (they appear to have some sort of asian heritage, in case you never caught that. But I bet you did with their very distinctly Chinese last names.) When Tam and Linh first appear in the book, they're suspected delinquents and exiled for crimes to a school of people that have been outcasted from society. They're seen as outsiders. During the story, we see the both of them climbing their way up in the ranks through hard work & connections. unlike everyone else who is going to Foxfire from the start, and we don't see them as nobility at first at all. Not only do the twins come into the story late, but they start out being pinned as supposed criminals (for going to their school which they were wrongly exiled to) and being the underdogs.

Twins are also scorned and families in the Lost Cities with twins are highly stigmatized. Same thing, the only two Asian characters in the entire series and they're the ones who have to be scorned instead of the white ones.

I'm sorry, but that rubs me the wrong way. it seems incredibly microaggressive to me. You're telling me that the only two characters of color [in the main group] are portrayed this way by accident? You couldn't have chosen any one of your fourteen white characters to play the role? Please.

Also, this might be a reach, but is there colorism also present in the KOTLC cast? The type of Asian that Linh and Tam seem to be (Eastern - Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc) have a very light skin tone. Throughout all of KOTLC, the only skin tone darker than white is Wylie's character, who is obviously African-American. There is no one that looks Latina [okay, there is, it's Jensi who was mentioned twice in the first two books and never again], a different kind of Asian, Romanian, Indian, Middle Eastern, nothing. Actually, you know what, it's not a reach. You're telling me that objectively based on facts, there is only one character out of the entire KOTLC universe that's skin tone is darker than paper? That's the standard?

To that I say: get outta here.

I'm not convinced that Shannon Messenger - as much as I love and adore her writing and her book series - ever truly cared about diversity and inclusivity among her characters. There's no representation other than straight, white, male, female, two Asians, and a single African American character (out of anyone who actually matters). That's it. Statistically speaking.

That's ridiculous.

[This is a later edit: someone in the comments also pointed out that the Lost Cities are located all over the world, meaning that having a mainly white cast also is whitewashing? This only gets worse the more you think about it, ugh.]

I understand that the majority of the KOTLC fanbase is very young. Believe me, I do. I'm probably one of the older fans that has been here for a while/still is here. Most people my age have moved on to fangirling over the Umbrella Academy or something. I get it. But I do believe that even twelve year olds can understand what I'm saying, stay informed, spread awareness, and think critically.

One of the reasons I think Shannon hasn't been called out nearly as much for the lack of diversity and representation in her stories is because she has such a young readerbase. That's fine. I don't expect people that are ten and twelve to be thinking about any of this. It never occurred to me at the age, so why would it occur to you unless someone else brought it up first?

That said, now that I have brought it up, I think that the least you can do is have conversations with your friends, tag a few people, and think critically about the casts of your favorite books/people you stan. If you're not speaking up, it makes you look like you don't care that there's absolutely zero representation and diversity in the KOTLC series. And you should care.

Keeper of the Lost Cities is a very white, straight series. What does this mean? It means that it's inherently racist, likely colorist, and not currently supportive of any LGBTQ+ people on any LGBTQ+ spectrum. People out there just like you (if you're white) aren't seeing themselves in stories or media. Instead, they're being told that only if you have European heritage or a lighter skin tone can you be a hero. It's harmful. And we need to speak out against it.

[Not to mention that there are no different body types. This post was just on core character identity, and nothing else. As my friend StickyCarpet put in a conversation, what about religions? Do all elves believe the same things? There's very little identity variation between characters beyond their personalities.]

The reason I want to speak out so strongly now, is because as you may know, KOTLC is being made into a live-action series of movies. On screen, it's going to be even more visible and in-your-face that there's no representation. You know what that says to everyone who wasn't represented at least a little bit (or well)? It says we don't see you because we don't approve of who you are, which is just such an awful message to send. In the movies, it's going to be super important for especially younger readers to see themselves on screen. I don't want these movies to just be another movie chock-full of straight white people. It's time for change. This was never something that should've been the standard, so we need to try extremely hard to change it.

By no means will that magically fix or amend the fact that Shannon Messenger chose to put just about zero diversity into the story in the first place, but it will at least show that she's trying beyond throwing a few new characters with different skin tones in after people start calling her out for it.

Keeper of the Lost Cities is my favorite or second favorite series, and it was (and always will be) a huge part of my childhood. I'm a huge fan of the series myself, but I want to make my opinion on this subject very clear and encourage you to form your own opinion on it. I don't have instagram or socials, but I do have a large platform on Wattpad to spread awareness with. Please spread the message.

Please, if you can, tag people from the fandom in the comments. Share this post. Reblog it on tumblr or post it on instagram. We need to get the conversation started. It's not enough to just sit here and pretend like we're all okay with the fact that the series we all love is grossly unrepresentative/not diverse.

In the external link, you will find a carrd leading to Ways to Help & be a part of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, including ways that don't involve money. In my bio, there's a link that goes to all crisis resources around the globe with links to causes. Please feel free to share and utilize both links.

Thank you very much for reading & (hopefully) spreading the message/awareness with me! Your favorite series and author(?) possibly being racist is something that's harder to come to terms with, even for me at my age, so please don't blame yourself for everything and just try to help as much as you can ♡

[Please feel free to reblog and repost on any platform anywhere as necessary. Spreading the message regardless is much appreciated!]

#diversity #KOTLC #movies #inclusivity #representation #LGBTQ+#racism #bookseries #fantasy

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yibuo · 4 years

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love your hot takes! was wondering if you could give your two cents on shipping/rpf in relation to idol culture, how more often than not these pairings are subtly if not overtly used as a marketing tool etc. I’m all for freedom of expression / fandom consumption as long as the fourth wall is respected but given recent developments in c-ent I feel like we’re treading on thinner and thinner ice....

EDIT you asked for my two cents and i gave u my entire bank account. nice

ok i wasn’t sure how to answer this tbh without possibly getting attacked but i have a pretty strong opinion of rpf/shipping and how people take it to the extremes and i talked to oomf who validated me so here i go

tldr i mean people can take part in shipping/rpf if they want to and if they keep it lowkey but there’s a boundary as to how far shipping/rpf can go and there are too many instances of where people insert rpf/shipping in places that are unacceptable and this goes for all real ppl pairings

i’m not meaning to offend anyone, and in no way are my opinions discriminatory, but also, if you’re someone who’s gonna make HUGE stretches regarding to celebrities and push your favorite ships in totally unrelated things, maybe you should step back and think about how your actions can affect your favorite people

and i’m totally stealing this from oomf, but here’s a thought: if you ask yourself 'if i met this person irl, would i feel embarassed if they looked me in the eyes and i read this out loud to them' and if the answer is 'i would look like a pervert stalker' then like........maybe don't do what you’re doing?

pls respect ur faves is all n don’t make them uncomfortable ! ! and also pls don’t fetishize same sex relationships !

anyway

ok so let me start by saying i’m a seventeen stan and when i was 15-16 y/o i shipped svt members, read rpf, etc, but never really was into overanalyzing every touch or gaze. i obviously enjoyed my favorite pairings interact and i read romantic fics about them. i wasn’t really into reading smut because for me, personally, fics using the members’ names and personalities even in au kinda made smut feel like visualizing the members in a sexual context and i felt like i was crossing a fan boundary, like, would my idol be comfortable with me seeing them in a sexual context with another member they tell us they consider as friends/brothers/sisters? or just in general, would they be comfortable with me thinking of them sexually? but hey, if it was a good fic i would just skip over the smut because good fics are good fics. now idk if it’s because i’m older, or other changes? i don’t really do romantic shipping or read rpf, i stick to reading fics about fictional characters because that’s what makes me comfortable (like if i ever rb two members’ interactions on my main, i stick to just tagging the members instead of their ship name, same goes on here for real people) and i still very much am uncomfortable w/ real people smut literature and art, but that’s just me

ok you see shipping a lot in idol culture because idols are in groups and members spend a good 90% of their time together, so whatever cute interactions you see kinda lead to people shipping two (or more ig) members. i never really thought about idol shipping culture from a marketing perspective, so i asked some of my friends, and one of them made a really good point about how some ships are more popular than others, and these interactions on shows and stuff might be a strategic/marketing tactic to lure in new fans because of the “ships” being cute. i don’t know how true this actually is, but it kinda made sense. for example, in svt, mingyu x wonwoo is a super popular ship, compared to ships like the8 x vernon which no one ever talks about, even though we know that all the members love each other equally and wholeheartedly. so yeah, there probably is a subtle pushing of certain ships in order to gain momentum in attracting more fans to the group

also i’m gonna be using wonwoo and mingyu as examples but i’m not targetting anyone or anything, just hypothetical situations w/ an idol ship that i noticed to affect the members because how out-of-control SOME stans are

so as i said in my tldr, i don’t really mind romantic shipping, as long as it’s 1) lowkey 2) not pushed in places that it doesn’t belong and 3) not mentioned among the members

keeping it lowkey- pushing ships in everyone’s faces gets annoying. sometimes fans just want to enjoy idols’ content as they give it to us and frankly, it’s a little offputting when you’re trying to watch something or enjoy something and hoards of fans are fangirling over a gaze or a touch between 2 members. keep it on your private acct, or in a group chat, not in the youtube comment section of the video. but still, men and women are allowed to touch each other and show affection without it being romantic, and i feel like shipping culture kinda invalidates the platonic relationship. like unless a pairing is confirmed to be dating, why even bother with overanalyzing these gazes or touches. and no, it’s not homophobic for non-rpf fans to be annoyed, because sometimes fans just want to see the members as they portray themselves to be rather than finding a deeper (and unconfirmed) meaning behind every small thing. fans being like “bro it’s just the touch of two hands it’s not that deep” is not the same thing as fans going “ewww i’m’ not supporting them if they’re not straight” . and sometimes i feel like people try to twist non-rpfers words and call them homophobic if they’re not for shipping when sometimes people don’t wanna romantically visualize 2 people if they’re an unconfirmed couple. how can you use lgbt struggles, which is an issue in society, to fight against people who simply don’t do rpf?? how are you use that as a weapon and for what ??? (also a good amount of people who do this are lgbt fetishizers who aren’t lgbt themselves bye i said it) why can’t we all jus be friends dudes

ok but if you’re against your idols dating someone of the same gender, that’s homophobic and you needa get that checked

but that’s different from treating two members as friends rather than bfs

but this being lowkey concept applies to any pairing, straight or gay, just keep it lowkey dudes. (like for ex we see yibo and meng meiqi shippers, which also doesn’t make sense to me because it’s based off of literal crumbs but ok) it’s ok to be rpfer or non-rpfer as long as you’re respecting the idols and keeping their best interests in mind

respect ur faves pls

not pushed in places that it doesn’t belong- people need to stop bringing up ships and pairings in randomass places. for example, if wonwoo is doing a interview, with mingyu being nowhere in sight, and he’s talking about his hobbies and interests without ever mentioning mingyu, what’s the need to bring up mingyu?? people do it and it’s so... weird? like wonwoo can do things without being constantly associated mingyu? one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when shippers make these ships such a HUGE part of a members’ identitiy, when the members are doing so much w/ their lives? like no, not every move wonwoo makes, and every breath he takes is related to mingyu, but people still wanna have the audacity to mention mingyu in something completely unrelated? what’s your point?

RESPECT UR FAVES

not mentioned among the members in an uncomfy manner- like if you’re interacting with a real person, why are you gonna bring up a ship they’re included in when you have so many other things to talk about?? like ok it’s one thing to ask someone on a livestream “hey this event you guys did on xxxx show was funny, what’s the tea behind that” but it’s not okay to just mention a ship with no relation and no context to the situation. again, this counts as rpf-ers and shippers attributing a single ship to an idol’s identity much more than what it actually counts as. no, wonwoo is not 70% made of mingyu lover and vice versa. we actually saw this between mingyu and wonwoo as people kept pushing meanie (the ship) to their faces, and we saw (and still see) a much more decreased amount of interaction between them compared to them predebut, because shippers couldn’t stay in their lane. so yes, out-of-control shipping DOES affect idols and can be harmful to their relationships if you don’t control it

^ so y’all see why i feel so strongly about this, because it literally can affect these idols’ relationships on screen

JUST RESPECT UR FAVES

again, this applies for any pairing of any sexuality, i’m just using wonwoo x mingyu as an example because it’s something i saw when i was into rpf. i love both mingyu and wonwoo and they are wholesome together. i have friends who ship them and i’m completely ok with that because they do it without posing any harm to the members, but some people just need to take a chill pill and a seat and calm down ????

so i completely understand that shipping/rpf serves as a creative outlet for lgbt+ folks and that’s completely fine, inspiration, love, cool cool cool. just don’t be so pushy about small interactions especially directly to idols. and as for rpf-ers, don’t let rpf give you a reason to start fetishizing same-sex relationships, that shits weird and problematic...pls

again, if you ask yourself 'if i met this person irl, would i feel embarassed if they looked me in the eyes and i read this out loud to them' and if the answer is 'i would look like a pervert stalker' then like........maybe don't do what you’re doing?

lol so this is why i’m much more comfortable w/ fictional shipping, because these people don’t exist in the real world and don’t have actual lives and relationships to protect

just respect ur faves omg and we’ll be fine

“given recent developments in c-ent” and me being a yibo stan and you sending me this strongly leads me to believe you’re referring to out of control bjyx cpf (yizhan shippers) LOL

i don’t follow much c-ent besides xnine, uniq, r1se, and sometimes unine and the nine percent members, and honestly im not too into the fan culture so i dont follow ships there? so i’ll focus on. this ship

to be completely honest, shipping for idol groups makes some sense to me because idol group members are with each other most of the time, that’s literally their job

shipping actors who haven’t confirmed that they’re dating/no proof doesn’t really make sense to me at all--they work on one project together, and they’re off to their next., with or without each other . we don’t know if they keep in contact every day, much less if they’re into each other, but each to their own! my opinions and takes aren’t perfect and as long as you’re respecting your faves, it is ok~

ok so i’ll start of with saying: obviously, i love yibo. i love xiao zhan. they’re cute nd wholesome and evidently had good times together and learned a lot from each other regarding acting and being in the industry and just developing as people together. good for them, we love character development. amazing

is pushing bjyx a marketing tactic? most definitely yeah by tencent thanks tencent. i think you can see this through the amount of bts videos there are with just bjyx in comparison to other bts videos/interviews, even though there are many more important characters apart from wwx and lwj in cql, we don’t see as much side cast interactions as bjyx, and if we do, there aren’t that many w/ other cast members and yibo and xiao zhan?? relatively speaking

so yeah i think pushing this yibo x xiao zhan thing definitely was a tactic to further the momentum that wangxian was already having to attract stans, and it worked. like i LOVE watching yibo and xiao zhan bts videos because they are two goofs. love them. love my boys. love their camaraderie. and if people wanna ship, then go ship. cool! just be casual pls

i think where this becomes a problem is when people start projecting wangxian’s relationship onto yibo and xiao zhan because...the latter are real people. yibo and xiao zhan =/= wangxian !!!!!! (ok first of all yibo is a gremlin how can he be the wang in wangxian in real life) what wyb and xz show us in videos is nowhere near what wangxian is hJKNDJNWD and i see so many people just equate the two pairings...nooo... and combining everything mxtx writes about wangxian in the novel and projecting that onto wyb and xz...i don’t think that’s the move dudes they have their own lives they’re not wangxian

my BIGGEST pet peeve is when people wholly credit wyb’s development as an actor and as a person to xz and vice versa. i cannot tell you how many times i see posts saying “wyb brought xz out of his shell” and vice versa and things like “xz looks like he’s having much more fun than he is when he’s with xnine, they’re soulmates” and etc

both wyb and xz have had years of industry experience before getting to know each other. they’ve gone through some of the lowest points of their careers before even getting to know each other well, and they’ve both found Their People in the industry before finding each other. to say that wyb brought xz out of his shell in a summer’s worth of filming based on some bts videos is just so unfair to the bonds xz has made with his other colleagues and xnine members and the accomplishments he’s had before cql. same with wyb and his career prior to cql. and his uniq members, his ttxs bros, and all his other colleagues. these 2 have gone through some shit with their idol groups and it’s just not fair for cpfs to erase the significance of their career prior to cql to support and find a leverage for their shipping. i’m not saying all cpfs do this, but there is a Good Amount That Do and it pisses fans like me off

they are not each others saviours bye

also “xz looks like he’s having much more fun than he is when he’s with xnine, they’re soulmates”, if you guys ever watch xnine videos, you’ll know that xnine is Loud. with members like wu jiacheng and peng chuyue being so loud and extroverted, it kinda makes xiao zhan relatively quieter. but he’s still a gremlin and troublemaker and it’s not like he isn’t having fun. he’s just louder w/ yibo because yibo is more introverted than xz. relationship dynamics are relative to the relationship cmon people !!!! this is basic knowledge !!!! anyway that was a side tangent but ya

but ya my point is, wyb and xz have their own careers and they’re doing their own things now, and it’s unnecessary to bring up xz in an unrelated wyb post/article and vice versa, and it’s just so so unnecessary to link them in everything??? like i heard that cpfs prevented xz from keeping his nomination for an award because yibo wasn’t nominated so xz lost the nomination ./rolls eyes

anyway my point being, if you wanna ship them then go ahead! just do it normally and don’t bring up the ship in unrelated places (like other dramas, tv shows, etc where they’re not together), don’t spam them with bjyx related things, don’t make weird stretches/connections?? the other day on twt i saw a twt about uniq wenhan’s drama, where he was being referred to as xiao zhan (little zhan) in the drama (different “xiao” and “zhan” characters than actor xz’s name) and i saw cpfs go “omg theYRE CALLING HIM XIAO ZHAN??? IS THIS FATE OR” like no it isnt maam it’s just a name stop reaching

ANYWAY UNNECESSARY SIDE RANTS BUT MY MAIN POINT is that people are allowed to be shippers and take part in rpf, but don’t make their identities “____’s lover”, don’t look past their current and past achievements for the sake of your ship, don’t erase their relationships with other people for the sake of your ship, stop bringing your ship into things that are only related to one person/aren’t related to your ship, stop saying creepy things about your ship (if you think the ship people would be uncomfrotable with what you say about them you probably shouldn’t be saying it)

just. respect ur faves pls no matter who they’re with ...just respect them ty

stan yibo stan xiao zhan stan uniq stan xnine

comment ur fav yibo and xiao zhan moment below

like comment subscibe

ok bye mic drop

#this is long please dont read #dont hurt me #bye #reply #if u make ur favs uncomfy im sending huo mala to eat u #Anonymous

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