fake / make up

someone please help me find that quote about how someone was overwhelmed with the weight of the world and their problems when they were physically alone, but that weight felt like nothing in the presence of a friend and good conversation

born to love forced to grieve

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

hello everyone are we ready for another day of pretending we don't want to love and be loved back?!

having so much love in your heart is beautiful and amazing right up until you’re alone in your bedroom clutching at your chest and whimpering like a wounded dog

how it feels to be in a transitional period

after a suicide attempt in 2016

judy grahn, from another mother tongue: gay words, gay worlds, 1984

I like that "morning baby" kinda relationship. The no games, great communication, lots of sex, lots of kissing, lots of cuddling, lots of flirting, lots of being goofy kind of relationship. That makes you want to run 100 miles, read books, clean up your bad habits kind of love.