Why do I get tattoos?

Because I hope, that one day, when my memory is fading, I'll be able to look at my body, at my artwork, and still remember these things that I cared so much about.

--a.r.

To be trusted you must first be trustworthy.

Motivation for those dreaded core classes.

I get it, you’re shy and you’re tired. You think this is pointless. Well, if it was so pointless, why did you do it? Why are you here if you don’t want to gain anything from it? Don’t look at it as mandated pointlessness. Find the meaning in it. What can you take from this? How does this contribute to your end game? Establish your authority in the classroom from day one. Ask every question that comes to mind. When there is a silence to fill or a question to answer, speak. Do not sit idly by while your education surpasses you. You’ve chosen to embark on this journey for a reason. You are here to learn, to educate and to be educated. Your entire time in school is a conversation that you are having with the world and everyone around you. You are learning and growing with the intention of being able to contribute to that conversation. You are here to learn how to do that. You are here to make a change. Why pay for these classes, for this education, if you are going to sit idly by and not absorb any of the lessons you once desired to learn.

Pharmacy Horrors and Heartbreaks 1

I’m a pharmacy technician, I have been for over 2 years now. I’ve found a love for pharmacy as a science--as healthcare. But I’ve also experienced some tear jerking, gut wrenching, thought provoking, and maddening events. Here is one of them.

An older gentleman, truly gentle, was crying at my counter because he couldn’t afford the $400+ copay for one of his wife’s important medications. I dread these moments, yet I see them far to often. After consoling him and explaining why it was so expensive, he sat down in the lobby to call his wife and discuss it. He sat there on his phone for awhile, but he eventually walked back up to my counter. This poor old man told me that he couldn’t afford this medication, but the cost of losing his wife was much higher. She couldn’t live without this medicine, therefore he had no choice but to purchase this overpriced and crazily inflated drug. I rang him up, and he prepped himself for the transaction. He held his breath and held back tears, and finally the register blinked with the grand total of $0. He looked at me, tears still in his eyes, confused. I explained to him that while he was conversing with his wife, my pharmacist and I found a manufacturers copay card that drastically reduced the price. He began crying again, but this time with tears of gratitude and relief. He finally smiled and joked about whether or not he could afford it now. We finished the transaction, and he wouldn’t leave until he was satisfied with the amount of thankfulness he had shown. He went home, grateful to live with his wife another month... and still having $400 to spare.

This was a happy ending, a rare one. From my experience, there is a large population of people who are not this lucky--people who we are unfortunately not able to help. I’ve had so many people sob at my register. When I console them and offer alternatives, I tend to cry with them. But is this job supposed to be sad? Of course nurses and doctors have to regularly deal with losing patients, ones that were beyond help--that is an emotional job in itself. But in a pharmacy, a retail pharmacy, we don’t directly deal with that. These doctors send us patients with prescriptions to prevent having to lose them--to heal them. We are apart of their medical care team and we help them live. But when they can’t afford that prescription, their care is delayed. They face the risks of not treating their diagnosis. They fall into the trap of lining a businessman’s pocket, often times blind to the level of unethical practices that are happening. 

Is this really supposed to be sad? Yes. Because pharmacy is a business--not healthcare. Health care is caring for the unhealthy, but this business is profiting of the misfortunes of the unhealthy. This is not okay.

-- a.r.

Rebel

Rebellion is not inherently antagonistic.

-- a.r.

If no one believes they’re normal then what the fuck is normal?

Crazy

“I’m fucking crazy,” I sighed.

He looked me in the eyes and said,

“Good.”

-- a.r.

how sad

how sad it is, that our heartache compels us to write, rather than speak

because listening is too much of a burden

how sad it is, that reading has become so scarce

that our words still remain unheard

-a.r.