estelle-lee
Estelle Lee (Bunny)
this is the corner where i express myself. maybe my experiences will help someone cope with theirs?
16 posts
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i think i found the genius in me again! - 31th August, 2023
wowowowowowoowowowowowo
i'm just over the sky with joy rn
today was the last exam, higher math. i fucking hate higher math cuz it's so hard. BUT. TODAY. the exam was DEADLY EASY.
like i NEVER expected the teachers to give SUCH AN EASY QUESTION WHAT-
the exam was so easy i finished it an hour before like- i'm speechless. A+ confirmed on this one 💅
i feel like i had the best performances in the subjects i hate the most. like i HATE bgs and higher math with all my bloor, sweat and tears. but they are also the ones i've had the best performance in this time 😅
it's really confusing and all but hey! at least i did well!
my dad is also happy to hear all of this. now just waiting for the results. he thinks i'd AT LEAST be in the top 10 this time (i was there before but lost my rank because of all the drama back in 9th grade...
*sigh*
i'm gonna go sky high this time. i've found my learning style and i swear it fits me so good 😍 i can finally study without feeling like i wanna die if not better.
i won't study today. i am planning for what i'll study tomorrow and just start from tomorrow. i wanna do an intense session tomorrow for about 6 hours minimum. maybe i would like to finish higher math properly because i know even though THIS one exam went good, my preparation was not solid enough. so i'll spend the hours on higher math :)
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shouldn't have wasted my time 🙄 - 26th August, 2023
I finished 2 books yesterday, and no, i didn't like any of them that much. i personallly did not even like The Little Prince, only the first few chapters were good, and then everyone becamse an asshole. and The Virgin just made frustrated in every chapter because of how dumb hoe y/n is, and even at the end there WAS revenge but despite being perfect, the revenge was still dumb. so no not satisfied. but ngl the smuts were top tier, loved every part of the smut. it was SO well written that i had to clench my own sheets to keep up 💀
anyways not recommending these two books to anyone, also removing from my library. wish i never read these two books…
wasted my time, should've just studied instead 😑
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pool of tears 🏊♀️ - 25th August, 2023
Book: Creation
ok so whatever the fk got to me yesterday evening, i woke up and started to re-read Creation and now i regret it.
I. FUCKING. REGRET. IT.
the book was great. 10/10 would highly recommend.
BUT IT MADE ME CRY AT 2 AM WTF?????
not only i was entirely crying for the last few chapters, i cried AFTER the book ENDED and even after freshing up and after i went to bed in the darkness, I STARTED CRYING AUDIBLY REPLAYING THE LAST CHAPTER IN MY HEAD AGAIN AND AGAIN UGH
i cried for a minimum of two hours last night, i bet you.
THIS is the kind of authors we need, who can literally put a chokehold on strong hearted people like me bruh. Throw her a damn oscar, nobel or whatever the fuck that is. I love her.a
anyways now it's 11:46 in the morning, finished breakfast. i was reading another book named The Virgin[K.NJ] and the book is wild af bro 💀 i smell gang bang-
anyways i have stopped reading now, i should study. i'll continue reading later. already finished 5 chapters in it (and it has 72 CHAPTERS)
so lemme fresh up again and start studying-
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ok i just saw a pic of chan and he looks so hot but adorable awwww~
chan supremacy at it's highest 📈📈📈
#dear diary#bang chan#bangchan#skz#stray kids#stay#hot#adorable#wattpad#fanfiction#emotional#book recommendations
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reading books is the greatest hobby y'all, argue with the wall 💅 - 24th August, 2023
BOOK: Unknown | kth
#rr 24th August, 2023 Thursday 1:04 AM
I loved this book so much, i fucking cried at the V gone scene, and the whole book was a great masterpiece, a perfect mix of comedy, romance and action. I fucking loved it and i love YOU author. just marry me at this point bruh-
no like seriously i only have a few favorite books even though i read hundreds and it's in the top <3
love y'all, hopefully i'll read it someday again when i forget about it, i love when i forget books cuz i can reread it :)
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reading books is the greatest hobby y'all, argue with the wall 💅
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books make me feel emotions i didn't knew existed in me.
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I'm going to reread Creation next, the jjk ff. i had teary eyes and a broken heart in Unknown, but Creation made me fucking cry more than i did when i was depressed-
coughs
anyways- so another book that made me cry (very vulgar, sexual and violent stuff) was very memorable and fucked up, which was Just Us, and i swear i fucking don't want to re-read it, it will literally fuck up my mind again. when i first read it, my brain wasn't functioning properly for a few days like wtf-
but ngl the book was great and VERY memorable cuz even after a year i CLEARLY remember it because of the intense and excessive scenes. the last chapter had be crying, and the author was so brutal she didn't even leave any comdic quote and end to cheer me up again so i ended up depressed the whole day… fuck it, i loved it.
Creation had me pretty fucked up for a few days too, but more in a lovesick way, i would cry whenever than scene came up in my mind, and not to mention that i cried for an hour straight after that book ended… like THAT'S what you call true love bitches, argue with the goddamn wall-
i hate when good books come to an end, because my imaginary world fall apart with it
i should start studying physics now, tomorrow is my exam… can't believe i read 54 chapters, a goddamn book, instead of studying a mere chapter of physics for my exam-
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fuck it, i'mma just take a nap for 90 mins then wake up and study, too depressed to do anything now lol
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nvm i ended up sleeping, my exam went average, enough to pass
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i'm re-reading Creation again with my bestie, we started at the same time. I'm loving it lol. 10/10, would highly recommend 😎
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just finished work, 11:30 pm
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lmao sorry i ended up finishing it at around 2 am and i was crying for 2 hours straight 💀💀💀
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i'm a genius bruh - 18th August, 2023
ok so i woke up like 4 hours ago (10 am), spent 1 hour eating, 1 hour studying and 2 fkn hours learning korean lol.
now i'mma finish the work so that i won't have to work in the evening and i can study in a flow. i just finished a chapter but that's okay because i have 8 more chapters left, which is not much in my opinion.
i think i will be able to finish it today. i want to finish it asap cuz i also have to finish a higher math chapter that i have half left lol.
after general math exam, next 3 days are completely chill cuz it's all english and ict, and they are nothing hard for me 😎
in those 3 days i'll only spend like 2 hours for the actual exam and spend the rest of time preparing for the next hard exams like physics and chemistry.
i hope this plan actually works depending on how suspiciously good the exam days have been 🤨📸
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uhm so i finished half of the work in the afternoon and then slept and woke up in the evening and just finished rest of the work. it's now 9 pm.
i'll scroll through daraz for a while and continue with my studying.
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i just finished chapter 9.1, was watching some felix vids lol. i'mma stay up for a while and then sleep.
good night <3
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cultural shock 🥴 - 17th August, 2023
woke up from the nap. i feel so light-headed still…
it's because while i was climbing up the stairs, my heart started clamping so hard and i could hardly breathe, so i started climbing up even faster to reach home asap.
i gulped down a big chug of water as soon as i got home. the problem persisted even when i fell asleep. now it's fine.
bruh even when i came home like that mom asked about my exam first. now how tf i am at that moment 🙂
anyways the exam went on being majestic. i finished the exam 15 minutes earlier AND wrote WAY MORE than others. i feel so superior bruh.
no matter what i did in exam, time wasn't passing at all. i was like stopping and singing and then back to exam again and again. but still time didn't pass. did i get a cheat code or something??? 💀💀💀
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is it gon' be my academic genius era??? - 16th August, 2023
OMG OMG OMG ok ok so i was too busy the whole day with the exam and resting so got no time to journal BUT WTF I WROTE SO MUCH-
i had to take FOUR FUCKING EXTRA SHEETS AT EXAM, and my writing still wasn't done lol.
compared to me before, this was the fasted i've ever written in my life, like i never took more than 1 sheet, but this time FOUR. damn.
also my hand didn't hurt even after so much writing.
the only bad part is i missed a few marks and i won't be getting an A+, rather an A or A-. hoping for an A tho…
but hey! look at the bright side! i can literally confirm and A+ on the test exam next time! woohoo!
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finally at 11:50 i've started studying for tomorrow's test. i'm going more strategically by analyzing the book. i hope i can get through this too!
leggo!
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hurts so much that it's funny. - 15th August, 2023
good morning. i skipped two days of writing to be precise. why?
it's because too much was going on. 13th aug was fine
yesterday there was earthquake of around 5.2. the whole building got down, especially the ones living the upper part of the building cuz we wouldn't have much time to survive.
that was number 1 reason.
secondly, mom found out that i text people on messenger and also saw me sent out some pictures.
to be precise some VERY DECENT pictures, like just my face. and the chat history? FULLY DECENT DAMN NICE chat history. still i got like a "ultimate warning" from my parents and they also made me deactivate my acc and block the guys b4 doing that. i felt super bad for them. cuz
i'm ahanaf's only bff and he has no one else to talk about everything so openly… we were also planning to research on the scholarships and go together… i couldn't even tell him that my parents are making me do this… but i had to cutoff everything… he was inspired by me, he was one of the people who truly cared for me, and i was one of them for him. he's now gonna think i left him like his other friends too :(
on the other hand, tousif is also an introvert + he is a totally broken guy. domestic violence, no real friends, people stepping over him, what not? that guy found his safe place with me, i took care of him while he was depressed and got him out of it. i helped him continue his friendship with others. when no one was there to support him, i was there… he was very grateful to me, he also wanted me to share my pain, but i never did except once cuz i don't wanna hurt him. he didn't like it when i didn't share my pain. he sometimes wouldn't even believe that i was not in pain cuz he knows i'm too good at acting and hiding emotions. so blocking him and breaking contact like that is gonna go too harsh on him as i won't be returning for a few months now. and even when i do, i won't be able to talk to any boy or enter any group. only girls, that even of my own school… poor him… he's gonna think i ghosted him too :(
truly as a psychopath, it's not like i feel any pain to leave them, or any remorse after my parents' lecture. cuz according to them, i did so many "wrong" things, just by talking and sending the most decent pictures possible. but i know that's not the case, and the only thing is i shouldn't have sent pictures as he's not in my school. that's it. so no, i don't feel any regret.
also i didn't have to leave ANYTHING tbh. i think dad understands that, according to him (i think) i was ABOUT TO get on the wrong track but they came in just at the right time to stop me lol. that's why i don't think he thinks that i've done any other shit.
but let's talk about mom now 💀☕
she's thinking i've done some huge ass cyber crime by just talking to boys and i'm the most evil spoiled kid to ever exist and i haven't fixed myself after that incident. and that my whole life is gonna be ruined and blah blah blah what not 💀☕
like WHA- bro even my lil brother who is probably the most annoying kid on the planet in my opinion ALSO KNOWS THAT I AM FUCKING NICE NOW. i'm also the fav of two teachers and liked by other teachers (except that nurjahan shit, she's got personal problems with me cuz of my beauty 💅)
look. my life is ABSOLUTELY FINE. i just need to become a topper again. that's what's left. nothing else 🤷♀️
i have a job, i am pretty, i am popular, i am liked and on top of all, i'm charming and i am the CHARMER.
now if i become a topper again, then my life will be almost back on track. then my goal would be to be one of the toppers in Dhaka BOARD. although i know they won't be satisfied anyways but idc anymore. i'll just do what i'm satisfied with.
and i am definitely NOT satisfied with the results i've been getting, like bro wtf is this?
i can't just FAIL. i was THE topper once. now i've lost my ranking since class 9.
i have to make history now to be THE SENSATION.
EVERYONE will see me achieving EVERYTHING in life. i'll have a nice job, a good income, a great life, the best life partner 💅
like i'll show u guys what i'm worth bitches. anyone who underestimated me is gonna REGRET.
tomorrow is my exam, so if i didn't write all this and didn't vent out, i would be fucking hyperventilating starting from now till the day i get exam results 💀
now it feels lighter, at least i know my thoughts are expressed, maybe not to someone, but to a diary. to just write how i feel. because i have no one to talk to now. but that doesn't make me sad cuz i'm an introvert 🗿🗿🗿
i should start studying now, i got a ton to study. it's bengali exam anyways.
bai bai ^_^
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i've been overhydrating for like 2 year now, and i think now the symptoms are finally noticeable to me and is actually affecting me, according to my weight i'm only supposed to drink a liter everyday, where i drink a MINIMUM of 4 liters. this has been happening for like 2 years now and the symptoms were so light i never even noticed, nowadays i drink even more than 6 liters i think and i'm totally having headaches, high blood pressure and everything. now i really need to survive this or this is gonna end up VERY serious. my head is kinda spinning even when i'm writing this…
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it's been like 6 hours and i still feel the same… so light-headed, dizzy and tired… tomorrow is my exam… is this really what had to happen today??? i haven't even started studying 😭😭😭
if i don't recover today, my exam will NOT go as planned and i can't get good marks 😭💔
please Allah do something… i actually feel really bad for not being able to study the day before exam…
let me start working… i have no other choice… i can't just lay around all day and night… but i need to recover fast too… i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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ok so it's 8 pm now and i'm totally fine, full of energy (thanks to ben and skz)
now i can finish my work happily and study!
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i suddenly feel so empty, as if there's a void in me that just sucked everything.
tomorrow is my first model test, so i should be very nervous. but i am not. i should be studying. but i am not. i should be stressed. but i am not. i should be focusing. but i am not.
i'm procrastinating, and i know it's bad and will make me end up like before, but for some reason i still can't start… only 30 minutes left till 12 am and i got no shit done.
uhhhhhh what do i do now?
meh lemme just fresh up and speedrun the readings…
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bad night
#dear diary#stray kids#skz#exams#exam stress#friends#online friends#friends forever#strict parents#trauma
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should've just studied instead… - 13th August, 2023
good morning. woke up at 11 am. lol.
freshed up, had breakfast, did skincare, listened to some songs and subliminals. then i sat to study supposedly… at 1 pm 🙂 still not properly studying. just watching lectures. i promise i'll have lunch and study properly 💀
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fuck it, after lunch i'm now searching for scholarship programs cuz i gotta leave this country asap-
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jeongin, u fkn choked me 💀 but also gave the energy to live today 😃 - 12th August, 2023
good morningggggggggggggggg
my period ended today so shower was the first thing i did after waking up. i woke up at 10:30 am, not bad considering i slept around 3 am last night.
i didn't have lunch yet. 2 hours gone already. now i should study.
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41 minutes in aaaaaaaaaaaaaand finished higher math chapter 1 cqs. lemme have lunch and then moving onto higher math chapter 5 cqs!
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ok i was having lunch and all but THIS PICTURE CHOKED ME FR-
WHAT BEHAVIOR IS THIS MR. YANG JEONGIN???
our baby bread is now daddy toast 🙂
i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done
i was tired before… but after seeing this, i have enough motivation to finish the whole higher math model test cqs in one day.
so that's what we'll do. way to go yang jeongin…
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BRUH
it took me 2 DAMN HOURS to complete higher math chapter 5, wtf i thought it was supposed to be easy? 〒▽〒
i'm disappointed… and sleepy… it took me more time because the maths were so hard that i became sleepy midway. still i did it… i can push through things, that's a new achievement in studies :D
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i just finished working, i didn't take a nap :) i'll get back to studying again after this subliminal ends
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ok so i worked, played and did everything but didn't study. ig i needed a break. i spent like 2 hours playing cats are liquid alits cuz it was just too fun and addicting.
good night <3
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realization. - 11th August, 2023
uaeuehhhhhh good morning?
lmao it's 11:41 am. i woke up at 9:43 am sharp. spent one hour freshing up, cleaning and organizing and finally breakfast.
then i sat down to study and i just finished physics chap 2 mcqs, it took me 54 mins. it would take me WAY less time if i didn't have to do calculations in every fucking mcq lol.
anyways, it's still a reasonable amount of time even though i got distracted once in a while. i'll try more to not get distracted. i think my attention span is increasing more and more even with adhd, that's like a GREAT progress ^-^
tbh what was distracting me was bangchan's part in the super bowl mv lol. the first part so funny but addicting. reminds me of gordon ramsey's idiot sandwich meme 💀
i'll start physics chapter 3 mcqs now and then move on to general math.
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bruh… again it took me 50 minutes to complete this chapter's mcqs cuz this one also had calculations in every fucking mcq… but i took less time this time, so it's a win-win hehe
finally i can start general math cqs lol, gotta finish it today at any cost!
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i have a plan rn, i'm tired of doing physics' math for the past 2 hours, maybe i should switch up a bit rn and do the designs of my work today and write the blog post.
now that's a 2 in one benefit cuz if i do the this part of the work now then it would be a break for me AND it will take me EVEN LESS TIME to finish my work later.
lol i'm so smart that einstein feels embarrassed in front of me (～￣▽￣)～
leggo ヾ(≧▽≦*)/
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eek! i did all work instead lol, now i'll just collect links after 7 pm, easy~
i'll fresh up now, have lunch, take a small nap (ok fr i'll take an actual small nap this time without that turning into 4 hours) and then start general, got a lot of time in my hand now hehe
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fuck… we have over 000 pictures in google photos, now i have to transfer ALL OF THEM to a new account ugh… i've been doing this for the past hour, it's almost done… phew
maybe i can take a small nap after this…
FINALLY ಥ_ಥ
FINALLY i have backed up all photos into a new account, also did mine.
DAMN it was a fucking hard work. i deserve a nap now bro…
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i didn't sleep but i took a break and relaxed, uplifted my mood and finished my work.
ngl i had the best laugh today in the past five years. this one video was so funny i saved in my google keep. i laughed loudly for 10 minutes non-stop. my belly is still hurting even after like one and half an hour lol.
i'm now listening some calming songs to wind down everything and start studying.
i feel so calm right now. i feel like everything happened till now happened for a reason.
like i had such a hard time finding work and earning money… knocking clients, working day and night, getting betrayed, faced a lot of scams, lost so much money and time… lost my grades too…
now look at me chilling with a job that only requires 2 hours a day and earning a solid income for my age. while my cousins who are like 15 years older than me are still studying… i'm here acing at my work…
i was so dirty minded and exploited back in class 9… i still feel disgusted recalling all the things i did back then… my grades went down… my mentality was low… my standards were low… the teachers hated me…ngl some of them still do.
but others have seen the good side of me, so they love me for my personality and talent… they unleash the best side of me, i love those teachers. i have been failing my classes since 9th grade after all that.
but now- now i will shine. i will shine brighter than the sun.
i am now prettier, stronger, better. and i will be smarter too. i'm studying hard to make an insane comeback. they will see the "me" that they have never seen before.
the people only knew me after covid because of how i had a glow up… only physically. they loved me for my physical beauty and chaotic exploited me back then…
i loved it too… i loved the attention i was getting for all the things i did… i felt like i was a "rebelious" girl… ew. i hate the past me. i hate what had gotten into me. i hate everything i did last year and i regret every.single.moment. of it.
but now i love myself. i have understood what self love is. i don't want attention anymore for things that aren't good, that aren't right.
i want to be the best version of me. classy, elegant, smart, pretty and beautiful. but i don't want to lose the chaos in me. i just want it combined with all the other good qualities :)
and i think i am getting closer and closer to my goal. i can do it. i'm gonna hit the goals like people hit the gym.e
everything really does happen for a reason.
if all the bad things didn't happen to me, i don't think i would be like this now…
i wouldn't try to improve, i wouldn't try to study, i wouldn't try to get the best grades, i wouldn't try to earn money and support my family. i wouldn't try to anything and live the most basic life possible.
but now i'm doing all of it. see? see me trying?
i'm gonna show all of you what a real glow up is. and i'll show you all how it looks like to be the best version of yourself. the version that everyone loves, the version I, MYSELF, love.
i'm going to show everyone…
i had to write all of this to lighten up my mind and to get the burden off cuz i don't have anyone other than myself to say all of these things to… i feel very light now.
i can finally focus on my studies again. i'll go study now <3
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fuck it… 2 hours and 20 minutes to finish the general math chapter 6 cqs. geometry is fucking big and hard. but for some reason it was very understandable for me today. i got things quickly and easily. i also solved a few on my own. i guess i AM smart, i just didn't try in the past 2 years lol. i used to be THE topper before, i guess obviously for this reason. lemme have dinner and continue with the other two chapters. i HAVE to finish this today.
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lmao i just realized i only had to finish general math chapter 6 😃
nvm it's nice, that means i have finished all the cqs of general math and i can continue with higher math <3
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ugh ok i'm fucking sleepy rn, i did 3 higher math cq and i'm tired… total of 40 minutes… which means i studied a total of 5 hours today… i expected more but this is not bad either… i must finish higher math all chapter cqs tomorrow.
also i had a lot of fun while having dinner and blasting music and singing and dancing along. that was a good break. now i need to sleep.
good night <3 best of luck for tomorrow!!!
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FULL ON FIRE 🔥 - 10th August, 2023
so i woke up at 9:42, scrolled on youtube till 10 am, and then took an hour to fresh up and organize everything. it was worth the time. now i just need to study. i'll start with physics. wish me luck!
it's 1:46, took me 1 hour and 57 mins to finish physics chapter 2 cq. i'll finish chapter 3 after lunch.
it's 6:04 pm, i just finished physics chap 3 which took me 1 hour and 46 minutes and chem chap 2 cq which took me 1 hour and 7 mins.
so in a total of 4 hour and 50 mins, i have finished 18 cqs… that's a huge achievement lol.
i'll take a nap now cuz i literally feel DRUNK right now and my fingers are STINGING from all the writing (writing for 5 hours straight is no joke man…)
but yeah at least i did something! i'm proud of myself!
after the nap, i'll wake up and literally speedrun the work. no chatting. i'll finish the work asap and then finish chapter 3 of chemistry.
i need to do that real fast too, cuz then i have to finish general math chapter 6, 14, and 15.
i'll be finishing these today, NO MATTER WHAT.
and then i'll consider higher math.
but if i have time left after general math but i don't wanna write anymore (cuz it's normal for my hands to be exhausted after so much writing) then i'll finish the mcqs of these chapters i have studied today. won't be much to do. and if i STILL have time left or i just wanna study more. then ig i will start general math mcqs cuz i have finished those chapters' cqs but haven't touched the mcqs.
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lemme fresh up and take a nap now.
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IT'S ONLY 7:31 PM AND I FINISHED MY WORK ALREADY LSDKGFLASDKGJLSDKF
lemme finish my snacks now, then i'mma fresh up and go to study. also it's changbin's birthday so… happy birthday dwaekki!!! he's on live, but i can't watch it cuz of mom… so sad :<
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fuck it, i just entered his live and he's so damn adorable lsdjfklasdjf;aslkf
the cake looks delicious bro-
that's it <3 seeing him eating happily on his birthday and enjoying was enough for me :)
now i'll go finish my own food and fresh up :)
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it was nice talking to hikki, also finished my food. now lemme fresh up and continue with my studies :D
it's 8:40 pm, starting now!
back from dinner, continuing…
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DAMN my fingers are HURTING AS FUCK-
i finished the cqs of chem chap 3… this chapter had way more writing part than the other chapters i finished today, so this alone hurt my finger more…
anyways it took me 1 hour and 58 minutes, which i think is pretty good :)
i'll get on with the mcqs for now… once i finish the mcqs THEN i'll start general math… cuz my hands are literally dead rn
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50 minutes in and i have finish the mcqs of chem chap 2 and 3, which is nice.
so i studied a total of 7 hours and 38 minutes WTF-
when did i study and write so much bro o.O
has to be my first time lol ✨improvement✨
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mom told me to stop now, ig i SHOULD stop after so much studying… i'll study EVEN MORE tomorrow hehe
i'll continue with physics mcqs in the morning.
bro i've been trying to finish general math for the past 2 days now…
i live by the 2 day rule, i can't procrastinate anything for more than 2 days.
now i must finish it tomorrow. no matter what.
then i'll plan what to do after that.
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i guess i was on fire today. tomorrow i should be lava 😎
fine, i should wind down and sleep now…
good night~ <3
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another bad day. - 9th August, 2023
woke up late again. nothing special.
but i was fucking scared last night. i watched some horror kpop incidents with my lil bro last night. he was scared so he slept earlier. but i didn't finish my work yet so i stayed up, trying to finish ASAP.
no even 2 minutes in after he slept, the dogs started howling all at once on the street next to our building. damn.
it's normal for them to howl once, twice or at most thrice. and only one dog at a time. but this time… ALL OF THEM were howling for 10 FUCKING MINUTES NON-STOP. and they still continued…
i was so fucking scared i speedran through my work and somehow finished it. i didn't have the courage to turn off the lights so i just slept with the lights on.
i didn't even dare to look outside the window bruh…
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anyways i just had a fight with mom cuz she apparently thinks i don't value time and i am wasting my time on work instead of studying… like bruh i do have adhd, but i DO value time too. i try to fit everything in… why does no one understand me…
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only 5 days to go and i haven't finished one fucking subject yet… this is utterly disgusting and pathetic… how can i be a failure like this…
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so i wasted most of my time today just chatting and sleeping, that sucks and very unproductive… i hated today.
hopefully i'll get a lot done tomorrow <3
let's plan tomorrow's study then…
general math chapter 6, 14, 15 cq
higher math chapter 1, 4, 5, 6, 8.3, 9, 11.4, 13(24-32) cq
physics chapter 2, 3 cq
chemistry chapter 2, 3 cq
this will make me finish 2 chapters at least and get started on 2 more.
i believe i can do this… me, my parents, my closest friends are counting on me… i have to do this… i MUST do this
good night sraboni <3 rise and shine!
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procrastination hit me harder than puberty - 8th August, 2023
woke up like 2 hours ago, and honestly, my mind was blank, so i decided to do some makeup. my makeup skills are still pretty terrible, but i'm just a beginner, so it's ok… after the makeup disaster, i tried to do my hair, but my medium-short length hair always gives me trouble finding the right style. i struggled with a claw clip for ages, but in the end, i just went with my usual hairstyle, which turned out much better and quicker. my head is still hurting from all the attempts.
anyway, i moved on to my skincare routine, putting on some whitening cream and trying out lip gloss, but it didn't suit me at all, so i had to wipe it off. i plucked my eyebrows, and surprisingly, they turned out pretty good for a beginner like me. feeling satisfied with my skincare, i'm now on my bed, feeling a bit exhausted.
i'll take a break, listen to some music, and check out some subliminals before i start studying. my hands are aching from all the things i've done, and my brain isn't at its sharpest either. so, i'm planning to tackle physics mcqs. it's like math in a different form, but at least i don't have to write much, just calculate with the help of a calculator.
i definitely need some rest right now before i dive into studying.
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yeah no i never studied after that…
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good night
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the pain is here. fuck. - 7th August, 2023
goooooood morning world!
SO sigh the day starts with food… nice.
i wanna set goals for today. let's say… i'll be finishing:
general math chapter 7 & 8 cq
higher math chapter 1, 2 & 7 cq
that's the bare minimum. now IF i can get more done, i will finish-
rst all chapter mcq (yeah i'm not quitting unless i complete all chapters)
i think that's enough for today. and if i can STILL get MORE done. i will finish-
physics all chapter mcq
chemistry all chapter mcq
lmao yeah ik that's a lot but who cares? if i finish, i win.
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I was in a lot of pain the whole day and I am still in pain. I actually have nothing to do. It's because I am on my period and i have to bear with this pain for a week bruh. I wasn't even able to finish my goals today. I will finish it tomorrow.
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is it a new start? - 6th August, 2023
waking up was hard today, but i managed it anyways.
mom was trynna wake me up since 7 am, then dad tried to wake me up at 8.
nothing worked. lol. i woke up at 11 am later. all alone at home. this is the first time in past month that i have woke up so late. probably cuz i was suffering from migraine.
i didn't have breakfast when i woke up. i just sat there for a while. then i took my phone and opened daraz to do nothing but scroll.
while scrolling i saw a mini thermal printer and i remembered that i want one.
i wanted it in a good price, but every product was too expensive on it's own. forget about free thermal paper rolls with them.
so i started a search on it, hoping to find something along the lines of what i want.
now i wouldn't say it. but almost miraculously i stumbled onto a store that was FULL of mini thermal printers. ngl i was happy that i found it cuz now all of them are from bangladesh, so i didn't have to worry about getting delivered a month later lol 💀
so now i went from the store's lowest price to highest price fiter and luckily i FOUND IT! i found one that sold the printer with 3 free thermal rolls in only 1810 bdt!
it was better than other products and stores in ALL factors. now i just needed to find a good thermal roll package 👀
AND guess how LUCKY i was in the morning! that store had thermal rolls too!
now that was not the best part. i had to find the best deal too. so i started searching anddddddddddddd the best deal i found was 10 thermal rolls at 448 bdt…. in normal price it was supposed to be 500 bdt, but the others were too expensive so it was the only reasonable price. but THEN i found ANOTHER package in their store that sold 20 thermal rolls at 553 bdt.
DID YOU HEAR THAT??? BRUH.
that was supposed to cost 1000 bdt but they ONLY PRICED IT 553 bdt! now that's a HUGE save.
now i went to the cart to see how much the total was.
ANOTHER good news. the delivery charge was FREE cuz the products were over 500 bdt from their store + i got 32 bdt extra discount lol.
so i thought "the delivery charge is free here, so i guess i could shop my nail polish from another store" and went on to the nailpolish store i was following.
i've been growing out my nails for the past 5 days, just cuz mom kept scolding me every now and then for literally finishing my nails by biting. it's not my fault cuz i bite my nails naturally whenever i think a lot. but tbh i fkn hate my own habit.
so anyways i went to the store and chose 4 nail polish that i thought would fit me and went back to cart.
ALSKFASLDFKASJFLASJKDFLK I WHAT-
the delivery charge was FREE from BOTH stores!!! PLUS they gave me a total of 100 bdt discount BRUH.
i swear i never found a better offer in my life. i WILL get this. no matter what.
but there were two things i had in mind-
i can't get these things SO easily like vini vidi vici. because the total was 3000 bdt and my mom DEFNITELY WON'T buy me so many things, that even SO expensive.
i didn't wanted these that easily either. i'd like a challenge.
so i waited till mom came home. we had snacks and all.
then i offered mom to buy me everything i have in cart if i can get good grades.
she said she wouldn buy not only what i have in cart BUT ALSO add MORE if i want to and she'll buy me EVERYTHING.
the only condition is - I have to get 80+ in ALL SUBJECTS in this model test.
welp. guess what. i accepted the offer in no hesitation.
now i MUST get 80+ in ALL my exams. nothing else fucking matters.
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it's 4 pm now. mom didn't make lunch, so now i'm hungry :^
nvm i'll manage.
i've been writing all this pausing my studying lol. i was too bored solving geometry questions so this was a good break!
i'll get back to studying now after freshing myself up.
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so i didn't study anymore after that but i sure had a good time working. i didn't waste my time on messenger (scrolled for sometime on daraz tho) so it was easier for me to not get distracted.
i also managed to get 3 new citation source which is great!
it was a good day. but i wish for better tomorrow! :)
good night <3
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