nny11writes
Writing and Complaining about my Writing
Ask me about my fics, I am ready to burst
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My Beloved Cat - Ginger
This is about my cat who is dying, just a warning for those who can't see that right now.
How do you choose an urn for a pet that hasn’t passed yet?
She won’t care, she’s a cat, there’s no color or shape or material or sentiment for her to say, “I like the idea of resting here.”
She will be ash and finely ground bones. I don’t believe in an afterlife and I’m sure that will be the end of her, of us.
But will her ash and bone, changeable to many shapes, filling the spaces the way she once did cracks in my heart, will they find the space comfortable and comforting? Will they feel closed in and claustrophobic? I know they won’t actually feel. I know. They will be inert in their plastic wrap inside her urn.
But will she find peace and solace?
I won’t.
But like all parents, I want better for my children.
I think I’ll choose ceramic. Earthen and warm between my hands. No risk of damage when I cry. I can cradle her close that way. The blue one with the paw prints will do. (It costs extra. I don’t know how to feel about that.)
It asks for an engraving, 25 characters in 3 lines to sum up the whole of my love. If someone finds it in the future, will they know how important she was to me? What the fuck am I supposed to write?
My Beloved Cat
Ginger
Three steps down, four to go.
What keepsakes would I like? There’s two included in the price, and three of them are free. The ash pendants cost extra.
I know I want the ink paw print. I’ve gotten the sand one before, but it looked unnatural . I had hoped to rest my finger in the dip of her toes and feel closer to her. Instead I felt disappointment. No. No sand. Ink looks softer and I can trace where her fur will smudge and pretend to pet her that way.
I’ve done the fur clipping key chain before too. It looked fake and disconnected and I think I lost it in my hatred of the plastic keeping me from touching her again. But I don’t wear jewelry, so maybe I should get it anyways. But my dad gave me $300 to cover the base service and freebies. The money I saved for this can go to silly extras.
I’ll get the tree of life pendant. The thin metal can warm on my chest or in my pocket or stay cool on the mantel. I can take her with me when I need her support again.
(Did you know I didn’t kill myself so I could keep loving her longer?)
(Will this pendant help me the next time it happens?)
(She meowed at me this morning as she demanded pats in my lap. Cancer doesn’t care that she’s dying at 10 years old. Why can’t you live with me forever baby girl? It’s not fair to miss you while you’re still here, withering or not.)
I added the stupid key chain too.
It said that would be 15 dollars more now. I took it off and the ink print is no longer free.
There is $41.56 in taxes for the services and mementos. I’ve doubled the base cost already and I can't afford much more beyond this.
Step 6:
I hereby certify that I am the owner or authorized agent for the owner of the animal described and I hereby authorize the above specified method of disposition. In authorizing the cremation of animals, I hereby agree to indemnify and hold The Company and their agents, managers, and employees harmless for any claims, lawsuits, or other actions, including damages, costs, expenses, an attorney’s fees, brought against them by a third party claiming that the cremation of an animal was unauthorized.
Please sign below using your touch screen or mouse.
(My name looks like a child wrote it. I feel like one. I just want my kitty.)
Step 7: Legal Disclaimers
Dispute Resolution by Binding Arbitration
Abandonment
Waiver of Jury Trial (this one is in all capital letters, like they’re yelling at me)
Severability
Attorney’s Fees
Initial Here
(I don't believe in god, but god, please, help me.)
They didn’t list an 8th step, but the 8th step is payment.
I double check my bank account and confirm I’ll get paid this Friday so the extra costs aren’t hitting when they shouldn’t.
$586.56 to lose my baby.
They will call me later and I can download steps 6 and 7 for my records.
How do you choose an urn for a pet that hasn’t passed yet?
By crying silently at work, watching the clock tick down to my next meeting, and imagining a future where I can hold her urn ashes close to me in the morning. I can sip my coffee and still watch the birds with her that way.
I hope she likes it. She’ll never see it, her final resting place.
But I hope she likes it.
#cat#my cat#ginger cat#pet death#grieving#cremation services#cremation#she's not gone yet but within 6 months she will be#cancer#personal but you're welcome to interact with it#I just felt like I should post it on this blog instead of my main blog#Writing to manage grief is familiar to me#maybe someone else needs to see this too#I broke down in my meeting and had to dry my eyes and wipe my nose with Little Cesar's Pizza napkins#while my coworkers watched me sadly#not much to be done for it#I've been doing a lot of crying at work these days
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Pride month drawings day 3!
L- Catra (canon)
Im going to attempt to draw a canon or fanon/headcanon queer character every day of June! The goal is to do six drawings for each letter of the simplified acronym (LGBTQ)
I’ll only be doing characters from media I’m personally interested in, and I’ll try not to do too many from the same franchise.
Any of these are free to use as profile pictures with credit!
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I recently read "Divinity and Her Flaws" by @vivaciouscynner and omg the scenery in it is so gorgeous i had to draw it. also happy pride month everyone!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
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Catra season 4 in a nutshell
The meme was taken from here
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Ren Faire II
One of our long-time patrons wrote a one-shot inspired in this idea, and we liked their idea so much that decided to do the follow up based on their fanfic (You can read in Ao3 “Blonde In Shining Armor“, it’s such a cute and funny story!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/54425002 Thank youuu Lisra!
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Commissioned from the lovely @calicobarbarian who is always a joy to work with.
Is Catra a werecat? Transformed by a curse to look like that until she finds True Love and then starting that way despite clearly vibing with Glimmer? Who knows, who cares, it's good fun, and Glimmer is having the time of her life riding naked into battle and watching her enemies scatter in terror.
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S.I.S. Fic Idea
For two years now I have wanted to write the Catra & Sea Hawk friendship fic, because no one is ready for that friendship. I'm mentioning it here in the hopes it'll help me actually do it lol
#look they both would love fire and illegal fire works#I bet they slack line rock climb and play hacky sack or frisbee#they would totally smoke weed together#Mermista would know because she's friends with both of them#Mermista is the queen of being nosey without being a secret spilling type of gossip#They both appreciate having someone who isn't leaving the friendship due to them being too much to deal with#also they see themselves as being the cool older sibling in the friendship#classic they're my sidekick behavior honestly#they've probably been arrested together#there's a reason in it's all fun and games they got arrested together#S.I.S. fic ideas (Self Indulgent Stupid) are sometimes the best
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it’s unhinged that kotor has admiral karath, carth, the cathar, and kath hounds. find new sounds.
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Adora’s wishing her gf a Happy Pride 😏 🏳️🌈
Also, happy pride to my fav fandom I’m so happy you guys exist 🥺
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Today I offer, a shitty doodle for a request I botched. Have fun.
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You ever read literary analysis of a work you’re familiar with that’s so good that it makes you feel stupid. Like “oh. Yeah wow you’re right there was so much powerful symbolism and parallels and all that and I completely missed all of it”. And then I feel even stupider thinking “wow that author is so goddamn smart for thinking through everything like that, my basic surface level themes feel kind of embarrassing now ngl”
#I often frame this as#''...I am taking notes for no reason in particular''#that way they know they caught something really cool#and that I liked it enough to want to work it in more properly#or to apply it in the future intentionally
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