Concentration camp.
They built a concentration camp.
I don't think words can describe what this other than genocide.
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spoilers for evanescent (or not really if youâve read the tags?)
you have like one chapter of evanescent left till itâs going to be pure misery for yâall
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nanami would never be able to stop thinking about you, not even when heâs away on business trips, youâre always at the forefront of his mind. he would be the type to send you pictures and videos of gorgeous views from his journey that he knows you would absolutely love. he would send you pictures and videos of his hotel room, highlighting amenities he wished he couldâve enjoyed with you. heâd facetime you so you can enjoy the beautiful view from his fancy hotel room in real time. donât let me get started on restaurants heâd visit, he would text details of the dishes he knows you would devour if you had gone with him (complete with a very comprehensive review btw).
nanami would definitely have gift giving as one of his love language, so heâd always get you something special from his travels, whether it be from the souvenir shop or just something that reminds him of you as he walks by, heâd immediately swipe his card with no hesitation as he would always have a space reserved in his suitcase specifically for presents heâd get you. but if all of the above ticks so many boxes in terms of how much you'll love them, he'd secretly plan a trip for the both of you immediately because of how much he wished you could be enjoying those things by his side.
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how you can help palestine
*i regularly update this post with any new info i find so please always reblog the original post*
Donations
donations currently reaching gaza:
âŒïž help buy e-sims for people in gaza
donate to get food packages to gaza - care for gaza
donate direct aid to gaza - ehab rida (longtime activist and volunteer, has been carrying out donations and humanitarian projects in gaza since 2021)
palestine children's relief fund
world food programme
aid to gaza - taawon/bank of palestine
help gazaâs children
female hygiene kits for gaza - pious project
donate to UNRWA
urgent humanitarian aid to palestinians - anera
medical aid for palestinians
urgent support for medical professionals in gaza
gaza evacs and prosthetics - raindove (link to donations in their bio)
donate to ahmed (@/90-ghost on tumblr)
he is born, raised and based in gaza. please help him reach his goal of $50K to get his family to safety across the rafah border into egypt. as of right now⊠itâs $7.5K per person to evacuate gaza.
help journalist yousef escape gaza to treat his cancer
help mohamed evacuate gaza to get treatment for himself and his daughter
support palestinians: buy a keffiyeh from the last and only factory in palestine - hirbawi
secondary donations:
click to donate - arab.org
emergency relief for gaza - pious projects
palestine red crescent society
save palestine - islamic relief canada
send medical supplies to gaza - palestinian american medical association
help bring down israel's weapon trade - palaction
donate for the recovery of hisham awartani
one of the three palestinian students shot by a racist in vermont for wearing kufiyas and speaking arabic. hishamâs injuries have left him paralysed from below the chest.
Petitions
âŒïž urge icj to invite gazan journalists to testify
international cultural workers to strike from german cultural institutions for their complicity in oppressing palestinians and promoting genocide - strike germany
petition to investigate war crimes committed by israeli military
demand ceasefire - amnesty international
open call for immediate ceasefire
american government call for immediate ceasefire
american government to stop funding israeli military
ceasefire and increase humanitarian assistance - oxfam au
petition to get canva to address their pro-israel stance
invoke the genocide convention to call for ceasefire in gaza - world beyond war
suspend israel from international sports - diem25
UK to expel israeli ambassador - change.org
gaza healthcare workers for nobel peace prize - change.org
teachers around the world demand ceasefire - teachers for palestine
president whitten: reinstate samia halaby retrospective NOW - action network
demand the immediate release of mansour shouman
location specific petitions
gaza call for lasting ceasefire - oxfam (UK)
end israeli occupation - parliament uk (UK)
email your MP - medical aid for palestine (UK)
protect gaza civilians - islamic relief (UK)
stop fuelling genocide - action network (USA)
@ biden: call for ceasefire now - move on (USA)
ceasefirenow.com - jewishvoiceofpeace (USA)
call congress and demand a ceasefire - uscpr (USA - they provide a script of what you should say, so don't worry about it)
note: you can call everyday. they tally the number of calls per issue. so more calls = higher chance for them to take action. p.s. you mainly go to voicemail so donât worry about phone call anxiety. fight through it just this once please.
no forced displacement! - action network
australia call on israel to stop attacking palestinians - apan (AUS)
immediate ceasefire and increase in humanitarian aid in gaza - actionaid (AUS)
email your MPs - stand with palestine (AUS)
âŒïž australian senate to investigate australian citizens in the IDF for war crimes allegations - fpm (AUS)
âŒïž arms embargo on israel - cjpme (CANADA)
sign to send letter to MP for ceasefire - nccm (CANADA)
ceasefire now! - ijv (CANADA)
call on your local mayor and council to demand ceasefire - LeadNow (CANADA)
cessez-le-feu et un couloir humanitaire - le mouvement (FRANCE)
écrivez aux député-es et sénateurs-trices - association france palestine solidarité (FRANCE)
write to your député - assemblée nationale (FRANCE)
skydda civilbefolkningen i gaza! - mittskifte (SWEDEN)
singaporeans call for immediate ceasefire (SIN)
contact your elected reps and demand a ceasefire (GERMANY)
write to the EU demanding a ceasefire (EUROPE)
template of letters you can send (EU)
guide on how to contact your MPs in EU
p.s. if the template is outdated, just use it as a guide and add a few sentences here and there that reflect the current situation. i canât find any recent templates so :/ at least this is something
multiple actions you can take to help palestine - plant een olifbloom (NETHERLANDS)
includes: links for donations, emails to MP, emails to media, links to petitions and demonstrations
den haag, maak nĂș werk van vrede in israĂ«l/Palestina - the right forum (NETHERLANDS)
mÄori call for palestine - ourActionStation (NZ)
deem israeli actions as war crimes - NZ parliament/pÄremata aotearoa (NZ)
basta ao genocĂdio em Gaza! - awaaz (BRAZIL)
globo e grande mĂdia, parem de desumanizar civis palestinos - the intercept (BRAZIL)
manifesto ao governo brasileiro - petição pĂșblica (BRAZIL)
Campaigns
âŒïž justice for palestine
reach out to countries to back up south africaâs invoke genocide convention at the ICJ
âŒïž international criminal court
submit evidences of israeli war crimes
friends of al-aqsa
â„ UK-specific
urge your MP to speak up for palestine
hands off al-aqsa
stop administrative detention
petition for UK to stop arming israel
â„ International
boycott puma â email them to end their partnership with israel
boycott coca-cola
islamic relief canada
urge your MP to rally for ceasefire
decolonise palestine
poster campaign to raise awareness on the war crimes being committed against palestinians
text/call campaign for people living in USA
text RESIST @ 50409 to send a letter to your representatives to pass HR3103âa bill that prohibits tax dollars from going to israel
download 5Calls app to contact members of your congress | (more info)
fax campaign for people in the USA
go on this website to send 5 free faxes per day
hereâs a link to a pre-written fax copy you can download to send (the first link on the linktree)
hereâs a video that explains how to fax your senator (itâs very easy and all you need is a valid email address)
âŒïž BDS movement
get involved in boycotting companies associated with israel
palestine diaspora network
global strike guide - join the global strike!
please let me know if you have any more links. i will add them in. and please reblog the original post!!
UPCOMING PROTESTS
PALESTINIAN LITERATURE READING LIST
PALESTINIAN BUSINESSES
-last updated 11/3/24-
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finally got tickets to see the hq movie !!!
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spin the wheel and get a jujutsu kaisen character.
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59; âI DONâT WANT TO DIEâ
iwaizumi usually did his best to enjoy the visits to you. he made a conscious effort to show up whenever possible - which lately seemed to be almost every day - and he made sure to soak in every second he got to spend with you.
who knows how many he had left with you.
even on bad days he was always a hundred percent present, waving away any thought of work or other issues and focusing entirely on you. that didnât mean that he didnât confide in you or shared anything with you, quite the opposite actually. he was aware of how much you enjoyed listening to him talk - or even rant - about his day.
however, today was different.
you were quiet, more quiet than usual, and barely even looked at him. if you did say something, it were mostly one worded answers and everything came out snappy.
honestly, iwaizumi didnât want to think about it too much. he couldnât possibly imagine the situation you were in currently, but he was sure that you werenât avoiding him like that on purpose.
he couldnât deny that it made his heart hurt though.
after the n-th minute of awkward silence between the two of you, with you staring at your phone with such an intensity that it was obvious that you forced yourself to not look at him for even a fraction of a second, iwaizumi couldnât stand the lingering tension any longer.
leaning forward, he put one hand on top of your thigh. âlove?â he asked. âwhatâs wrong?â
you still didnât even glance at him as you replied monotonously. ânothingâ
you clenched your jaw subconsciously, a small movement that your boyfriend didnât miss. he closed his eyes for a moment to compose himself, allowing a small but compassionate smile to appear on his lips.
âitâs okay. tell me,â he whispered, his free hand reaching out to grab yours.
âiâm fine,â you muttered again as your boyfriend intertwined your fingers, tugging softly at your hand.
âtalk to me,â iwaizumi urged again.
âi said iâm fine,â you insisted, your voice however not sounding as convinced as you wanted it to be.
swallowing thickly, he looked down at his hand, fingers softly grazing your thigh. âi heard that,â he says as he looked up, tilting his head as he carefully examined your facial expression. âbut i know youâre notâ
in return you turned your head completely away from him, muttering at him. âshut upâ
skillfully ignoring your words, iwaizumi stood up from the chair and sat down right next to you, his shoulder touching yours. âlisten, i know youâre not okay. thatâs alright,â he whispered with a low, but warm sounding voice. he stopped for a moment, swallowing down the small lump in his throat. âlove, let me be here for youâ
he expected many reactions.
iwaizumi saw you shut down completely, going nonverbal for who knows how long. he could see you try to change the topic, ignoring whatever he said until he allowed you to shift the conversation. and he saw you open up to him, confiding in him and revealing whatever was plaguing your mind right now.
âi said shut up!â however, your boyfriend didn't see you get up so quickly, stepping away from him and raising your weak voice. he wouldn't have imagine you to - literally - turn your back on him, your hands clanching on your sides.
and yet for a brief moment, he was able to catch a glimpse of your face. his blood ran cold when he saw your painful expression, like you were about to start crying. he could see your form trembling and heard you breathe so heavily.
his lips pressed together, iwaizumi took a couple of seconds to himself. he knew he couldn't press the topic like this further. he had been so caught up in trying to figure out just what made you so unresponsive to him that he seemed to have forgotten the bigger picture of things.
you were chronically ill, your health seeming to worsen every day, the "good days" a rarity by now. you were in hospice for heaven's sake, all while everybody elses' lives seemed to go on just fine. friends, family, partner; everybody was able to live their normal life, while you were stuck in a facility to be taken care of; all while teh dream you had followed your whole life was to take care of others.
to give something back.
and now you literally couldn't do this anymore.
taking a deep breath, he took a moment to regulate himself, before softly saying your name. âlook, okay, iâm not forcing you to talk to me,â he began slowly, âand please donât yell at me when all iâm trying to do is be there for youâ
âiâm sorry,â you whispered back, dropping your head in shame and slowly turning around. while you might still not look at him and nervously played with your hands, he couldn't help but feel relieved when you at least let your body turn back to him.
nodding slowly, iwaizumi reached out to you and you didn't even hesitate to grab his hand. he brought your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the back of it. âi know you are, loveâ the two of you relished in uncertain silence for a few moments before he decided to speak up again. âdo you want me to go?â he asked in a hushed voide. when you looked at him with wide and concerned eyes, you saw the compassionate look on his face, allowing you to breathe out calmly.
whatever you would say, he would be okay with it.
âno,â you replied quickly, shaking your head. âi donât want to be aloneâ
your boyfriend couldn't help but feel relieved, his smile widening ever so slightly. âokayâ he tugged softly at your hand. âcome hereâ
almost like on auto-pilot you obeyed his command, not coming to a stop until your stood right at the edge of the bed, your knees touching the mattress.
âwe donât have to talk,â he muttered, drawing circles with his thumb on the back of your hands, before he raised his head again, looking at you. âbut iâm hereâ you nodded, subconsciously biting your inner cheek. âdonât try to push me away. you know i wonât let youâ
slowly your vision grew hazy, tears filling your eyes. you couldn't help but to clench them shut, your fingers tightening around iwaizumi's with every shaky breath you took.
he didn't rush you. he simply sat there, his eyes on you as he continued to caress your hands with his thumb, no matter how tight your grip got.
after you let out a shaken, but calming breath, you finally managed to find some words. âi donât want to die, hajime,â you whispered. âi donât want to die. iâm so scaredâ
iwaizumi didn't even notice that his jaw clenched as did his fingers around yours with every word you spoke. "and i don't know what to do anymore. i can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't even get dressed myself. i need someone to be near me when i'm just showering, because sometimes i can't even stay on my feet for long enough"
"i'm going to die, no, i am dying! and there's nothing i can do about it. nothing is working, nothing is helping" your knees buckled underneath you, making you stumble and ultimately fall. thankfully, your boyfriend had his arms securely around you, pulling you into his lap.
"i don't want to die," you managed to choke out as you pressed your face in his chest, letting your weak body be cradled by him.
iwaizumi desperately wanted to say something. offer comfort, be there for his partner. his heart ached seeing them like this, crying in his arms so helplessly. clenching his own eyes shut, iwaizumi swallowed thickly.
was there even anything he could say?
âyouâre not going to dieâ the words sounded hollow, like they had no meaning.
like he didnât believe them himself.
âyouâre going to stay right here with me,â he muttered into your hair, âand youâre not going anywhereâ
iwaizumi waited to believe everything he said. he wanted to picture a future with you by his side, more energetic, positive, healthy.
or at least not stuck in here.
at night he dreamed of a time where the two of you would grow closer every day, move in together, maybe even get married. he yearned for many more happy memories with you.
but he felt like this dream wouldnât become reality.
evanescent
/ÉvÉËnÉs(É)nt,iËvÉËnÉs(É)nt/ â âsoon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.â
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taglist: @not-another-ackerman @midnight-drives-with-sunarin @bloombb @jewlmin @tia827 @namyari @fuckyouwhotookmyname @yuminako @megumuro @saiewithakatana @sukunasrealgf @julia-1901 @basically-an-anime-stan-acct @siriusblackrunmeover17 @kaidoslastbraincell @navymacaroons @sunarins @lees-chaotic-brain
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Verified Palestinian gofundmeâs Masterlist
Rightfully so, I have gotten messages worrying if everything I post is legit (I try my best to make sure the answer is yes), but hereâs a masterlist of ones that one or more people have confirmed are legit Palestinians. Most are from the blogs @el-shab-hussein, @ibtisams, @palestinecharitycommissionsassoc ,@90-ghost, @nabulsi and @palipunk
I will also be making individual posts for most of these
Help Khaled and his family escape Gaza
Help lara and abdalla Family to be safe in Gaza
Emergency: Help Ibrahim's Family Find Safety - $50 is 500kr
HELP Ezzideen & his Family to EVACUATE Gaza
Your help is the only hope to save us from war.
Hope : Help Little Elen Fetch a brighter Future
Help Aseelâs family evacuate from Gaza.
EMERGENCY: HELP evacuate Bashar from Gaza
Help Mohammad Hammad evacuate his family from Gaza
Help Madleen's Family From Gaza
Help Jehad Evacute From Gaza
Help a med student & his family evacuate to safety
Help Fadi's Family Rebuild Their Life Amidst Crisis
Help Us Safely Evacuate a family from Gaza
Help child with Cerebral Palsy evacuate
Protect an open source engineer and his family
Help Bring Ayahâs Family in Gaza to Safety
Call to Action: Keep Gazas Talent Alive
Help Belal and His Family Escape the War in Gaza
Urgent Rescue Mission for the Mortaja Family
Save my family from the war in Gaza
Urgent: Help Evacuate My Family From Gaza War
Urgent help to evacuate my family out of Gaza
Help evacuate Safiâs family from Gaza in warfare
emergency : Help Support the Khalaf Family in Gaza
Help AbdulAziz and his family
Help Yousef escape Gaza and treat his cancer
Help my family rebuild home und evacuate Gaza
Please Help Me Evacuate My Children To Safety
Escape From War Nightmare: Support Gazan Family
Help my family in Gaza
Salaam Animal Care, find a safe home for animals
URGENT HELP help my family to evacuate Gaza
Help me & my Family Evacuate from Gaza
Urgent Appeal for Support: Help a Photographer
Help Jana's Family Find Refuge and Peace
Help me to save my family from the war in Gaza
Help evacuate my brother and his family from Gaza
Urgent apeal to help Elzomar family leave Gaza immediately
Help my mum to travel to a safe place
Help Afnan to find safety and to complete her education
Support getting Linda and her family out of Gaza
Support Mohammed and His Family Affected by the Gaza War
Help Ala's Family Overcome Crisis in Gaza
Freedom and home repair for Aesha an family
Help us evacuate and rebuild what's left of our lives
Help Tamer and his Family in Gaza!
Help my family escape death and reunite with me.
Help me and my family escape the Genocide in Gaza
Help rebuild Ahmed's family life in Gaza .
Emergency : Saving My Mother and only brother From War Zone
Rescue Mahmoud's Family: A Call to Escape Gaza's Devastation
Help Mohammed & His Family To Safety
Help Almoghrabi family to evacuate Gaza strip
Urgent Appeal: Help Save Ruba & Muhammad in Gaza!
Urgent help to evacuate my family from Gaza
Help Alia's family and their children get out of Gaza
Urgent Appeal: Save Little Yusuf and His Family Amidst Gaza
Support My Family Escape War in Gaza
Help me get my family out to safety
Help my family out of Gaza
Help me get my family out to safety
Help my children and family from the Gaza war !!
Please Help Evacuate Fadi's Family from Gaza
URGENT: Help Hayam and her Family Escape the Genocide
For what remained in us Ù
Ù ŰŁŰŹÙ Ù
ۧ ŰȘŰšÙÙ ÙÙÙۧ
Please Help Restore The Sharifs home & Help Leave A War Zone
Help Shymaa's Family Reunite in Egypt
Help Mahmoudâs family evacuate from Gaza
Donate to help Deyaa and his family escape Gaza
Fatimaâs Journey to Restore Artistry in Gaza
My family under fire, help them evacuate Gaza.
Help me to evacuate from the genocide
Help Mahmoud to evacuate from Gaza to continue education
Help my family evacuate from Gaza
Help Sanaâa and her family evacuate from Gaza
Haytham needs your help to support his family
Help my family survive and evacuate from Gaza
Help me rebuild a shelter for my family in Rafah
HelpYoussef and his family get out of Gaza for a better life
Let my family be safe and live in peace!
Relief Appeal: Secure Evacuation from Gaza War
Please Help Tahani save her children and husband
Urgent Help Appeal: exit the war of Gaza"
Help My Family Get Out Of Gaza
Vegetables, food, and water for Palestinian families
HELP Muhammad evacuate his family out of GAZA
Secure a Safe Future for Youssefâs Family - Act now
Support My Journey to a New Start
Help Shymaa's Family Reunite in Egypt
Help Me and my Family to evacuate from Gaza ASAP
Saving My Family from the Horrors of War in Gaza
Help the Allahawani family escape genocide
URGENT - Help Azzam evacuate his family from Gaza
help my children get out of gaza safely
Emergency: Help Evacuate My Family from Gaza
Help Safaa secure her childrenâs lives after war
Help Kareem get his family from Gaza to safety
Help Karim and his family get to a safe place
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i love my kids (at work) oh my good theyâre so sweet :( might fuck around and post a dad!au wndnsnjdjdn
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59; âI DONâT WANT TO DIEâ
iwaizumi usually did his best to enjoy the visits to you. he made a conscious effort to show up whenever possible - which lately seemed to be almost every day - and he made sure to soak in every second he got to spend with you.
who knows how many he had left with you.
even on bad days he was always a hundred percent present, waving away any thought of work or other issues and focusing entirely on you. that didnât mean that he didnât confide in you or shared anything with you, quite the opposite actually. he was aware of how much you enjoyed listening to him talk - or even rant - about his day.
however, today was different.
you were quiet, more quiet than usual, and barely even looked at him. if you did say something, it were mostly one worded answers and everything came out snappy.
honestly, iwaizumi didnât want to think about it too much. he couldnât possibly imagine the situation you were in currently, but he was sure that you werenât avoiding him like that on purpose.
he couldnât deny that it made his heart hurt though.
after the n-th minute of awkward silence between the two of you, with you staring at your phone with such an intensity that it was obvious that you forced yourself to not look at him for even a fraction of a second, iwaizumi couldnât stand the lingering tension any longer.
leaning forward, he put one hand on top of your thigh. âlove?â he asked. âwhatâs wrong?â
you still didnât even glance at him as you replied monotonously. ânothingâ
you clenched your jaw subconsciously, a small movement that your boyfriend didnât miss. he closed his eyes for a moment to compose himself, allowing a small but compassionate smile to appear on his lips.
âitâs okay. tell me,â he whispered, his free hand reaching out to grab yours.
âiâm fine,â you muttered again as your boyfriend intertwined your fingers, tugging softly at your hand.
âtalk to me,â iwaizumi urged again.
âi said iâm fine,â you insisted, your voice however not sounding as convinced as you wanted it to be.
swallowing thickly, he looked down at his hand, fingers softly grazing your thigh. âi heard that,â he says as he looked up, tilting his head as he carefully examined your facial expression. âbut i know youâre notâ
in return you turned your head completely away from him, muttering at him. âshut upâ
skillfully ignoring your words, iwaizumi stood up from the chair and sat down right next to you, his shoulder touching yours. âlisten, i know youâre not okay. thatâs alright,â he whispered with a low, but warm sounding voice. he stopped for a moment, swallowing down the small lump in his throat. âlove, let me be here for youâ
he expected many reactions.
iwaizumi saw you shut down completely, going nonverbal for who knows how long. he could see you try to change the topic, ignoring whatever he said until he allowed you to shift the conversation. and he saw you open up to him, confiding in him and revealing whatever was plaguing your mind right now.
âi said shut up!â however, your boyfriend didn't see you get up so quickly, stepping away from him and raising your weak voice. he wouldn't have imagine you to - literally - turn your back on him, your hands clanching on your sides.
and yet for a brief moment, he was able to catch a glimpse of your face. his blood ran cold when he saw your painful expression, like you were about to start crying. he could see your form trembling and heard you breathe so heavily.
his lips pressed together, iwaizumi took a couple of seconds to himself. he knew he couldn't press the topic like this further. he had been so caught up in trying to figure out just what made you so unresponsive to him that he seemed to have forgotten the bigger picture of things.
you were chronically ill, your health seeming to worsen every day, the "good days" a rarity by now. you were in hospice for heaven's sake, all while everybody elses' lives seemed to go on just fine. friends, family, partner; everybody was able to live their normal life, while you were stuck in a facility to be taken care of; all while teh dream you had followed your whole life was to take care of others.
to give something back.
and now you literally couldn't do this anymore.
taking a deep breath, he took a moment to regulate himself, before softly saying your name. âlook, okay, iâm not forcing you to talk to me,â he began slowly, âand please donât yell at me when all iâm trying to do is be there for youâ
âiâm sorry,â you whispered back, dropping your head in shame and slowly turning around. while you might still not look at him and nervously played with your hands, he couldn't help but feel relieved when you at least let your body turn back to him.
nodding slowly, iwaizumi reached out to you and you didn't even hesitate to grab his hand. he brought your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the back of it. âi know you are, loveâ the two of you relished in uncertain silence for a few moments before he decided to speak up again. âdo you want me to go?â he asked in a hushed voide. when you looked at him with wide and concerned eyes, you saw the compassionate look on his face, allowing you to breathe out calmly.
whatever you would say, he would be okay with it.
âno,â you replied quickly, shaking your head. âi donât want to be aloneâ
your boyfriend couldn't help but feel relieved, his smile widening ever so slightly. âokayâ he tugged softly at your hand. âcome hereâ
almost like on auto-pilot you obeyed his command, not coming to a stop until your stood right at the edge of the bed, your knees touching the mattress.
âwe donât have to talk,â he muttered, drawing circles with his thumb on the back of your hands, before he raised his head again, looking at you. âbut iâm hereâ you nodded, subconsciously biting your inner cheek. âdonât try to push me away. you know i wonât let youâ
slowly your vision grew hazy, tears filling your eyes. you couldn't help but to clench them shut, your fingers tightening around iwaizumi's with every shaky breath you took.
he didn't rush you. he simply sat there, his eyes on you as he continued to caress your hands with his thumb, no matter how tight your grip got.
after you let out a shaken, but calming breath, you finally managed to find some words. âi donât want to die, hajime,â you whispered. âi donât want to die. iâm so scaredâ
iwaizumi didn't even notice that his jaw clenched as did his fingers around yours with every word you spoke. "and i don't know what to do anymore. i can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't even get dressed myself. i need someone to be near me when i'm just showering, because sometimes i can't even stay on my feet for long enough"
"i'm going to die, no, i am dying! and there's nothing i can do about it. nothing is working, nothing is helping" your knees buckled underneath you, making you stumble and ultimately fall. thankfully, your boyfriend had his arms securely around you, pulling you into his lap.
"i don't want to die," you managed to choke out as you pressed your face in his chest, letting your weak body be cradled by him.
iwaizumi desperately wanted to say something. offer comfort, be there for his partner. his heart ached seeing them like this, crying in his arms so helplessly. clenching his own eyes shut, iwaizumi swallowed thickly.
was there even anything he could say?
âyouâre not going to dieâ the words sounded hollow, like they had no meaning.
like he didnât believe them himself.
âyouâre going to stay right here with me,â he muttered into your hair, âand youâre not going anywhereâ
iwaizumi waited to believe everything he said. he wanted to picture a future with you by his side, more energetic, positive, healthy.
or at least not stuck in here.
at night he dreamed of a time where the two of you would grow closer every day, move in together, maybe even get married. he yearned for many more happy memories with you.
but he felt like this dream wouldnât become reality.
evanescent
/ÉvÉËnÉs(É)nt,iËvÉËnÉs(É)nt/ â âsoon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.â
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Hi hello? The last chapter's title? I beg your pardon?
then beg
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59; âI DONâT WANT TO DIEâ
iwaizumi usually did his best to enjoy the visits to you. he made a conscious effort to show up whenever possible - which lately seemed to be almost every day - and he made sure to soak in every second he got to spend with you.
who knows how many he had left with you.
even on bad days he was always a hundred percent present, waving away any thought of work or other issues and focusing entirely on you. that didnât mean that he didnât confide in you or shared anything with you, quite the opposite actually. he was aware of how much you enjoyed listening to him talk - or even rant - about his day.
however, today was different.
you were quiet, more quiet than usual, and barely even looked at him. if you did say something, it were mostly one worded answers and everything came out snappy.
honestly, iwaizumi didnât want to think about it too much. he couldnât possibly imagine the situation you were in currently, but he was sure that you werenât avoiding him like that on purpose.
he couldnât deny that it made his heart hurt though.
after the n-th minute of awkward silence between the two of you, with you staring at your phone with such an intensity that it was obvious that you forced yourself to not look at him for even a fraction of a second, iwaizumi couldnât stand the lingering tension any longer.
leaning forward, he put one hand on top of your thigh. âlove?â he asked. âwhatâs wrong?â
you still didnât even glance at him as you replied monotonously. ânothingâ
you clenched your jaw subconsciously, a small movement that your boyfriend didnât miss. he closed his eyes for a moment to compose himself, allowing a small but compassionate smile to appear on his lips.
âitâs okay. tell me,â he whispered, his free hand reaching out to grab yours.
âiâm fine,â you muttered again as your boyfriend intertwined your fingers, tugging softly at your hand.
âtalk to me,â iwaizumi urged again.
âi said iâm fine,â you insisted, your voice however not sounding as convinced as you wanted it to be.
swallowing thickly, he looked down at his hand, fingers softly grazing your thigh. âi heard that,â he says as he looked up, tilting his head as he carefully examined your facial expression. âbut i know youâre notâ
in return you turned your head completely away from him, muttering at him. âshut upâ
skillfully ignoring your words, iwaizumi stood up from the chair and sat down right next to you, his shoulder touching yours. âlisten, i know youâre not okay. thatâs alright,â he whispered with a low, but warm sounding voice. he stopped for a moment, swallowing down the small lump in his throat. âlove, let me be here for youâ
he expected many reactions.
iwaizumi saw you shut down completely, going nonverbal for who knows how long. he could see you try to change the topic, ignoring whatever he said until he allowed you to shift the conversation. and he saw you open up to him, confiding in him and revealing whatever was plaguing your mind right now.
âi said shut up!â however, your boyfriend didn't see you get up so quickly, stepping away from him and raising your weak voice. he wouldn't have imagine you to - literally - turn your back on him, your hands clanching on your sides.
and yet for a brief moment, he was able to catch a glimpse of your face. his blood ran cold when he saw your painful expression, like you were about to start crying. he could see your form trembling and heard you breathe so heavily.
his lips pressed together, iwaizumi took a couple of seconds to himself. he knew he couldn't press the topic like this further. he had been so caught up in trying to figure out just what made you so unresponsive to him that he seemed to have forgotten the bigger picture of things.
you were chronically ill, your health seeming to worsen every day, the "good days" a rarity by now. you were in hospice for heaven's sake, all while everybody elses' lives seemed to go on just fine. friends, family, partner; everybody was able to live their normal life, while you were stuck in a facility to be taken care of; all while teh dream you had followed your whole life was to take care of others.
to give something back.
and now you literally couldn't do this anymore.
taking a deep breath, he took a moment to regulate himself, before softly saying your name. âlook, okay, iâm not forcing you to talk to me,â he began slowly, âand please donât yell at me when all iâm trying to do is be there for youâ
âiâm sorry,â you whispered back, dropping your head in shame and slowly turning around. while you might still not look at him and nervously played with your hands, he couldn't help but feel relieved when you at least let your body turn back to him.
nodding slowly, iwaizumi reached out to you and you didn't even hesitate to grab his hand. he brought your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the back of it. âi know you are, loveâ the two of you relished in uncertain silence for a few moments before he decided to speak up again. âdo you want me to go?â he asked in a hushed voide. when you looked at him with wide and concerned eyes, you saw the compassionate look on his face, allowing you to breathe out calmly.
whatever you would say, he would be okay with it.
âno,â you replied quickly, shaking your head. âi donât want to be aloneâ
your boyfriend couldn't help but feel relieved, his smile widening ever so slightly. âokayâ he tugged softly at your hand. âcome hereâ
almost like on auto-pilot you obeyed his command, not coming to a stop until your stood right at the edge of the bed, your knees touching the mattress.
âwe donât have to talk,â he muttered, drawing circles with his thumb on the back of your hands, before he raised his head again, looking at you. âbut iâm hereâ you nodded, subconsciously biting your inner cheek. âdonât try to push me away. you know i wonât let youâ
slowly your vision grew hazy, tears filling your eyes. you couldn't help but to clench them shut, your fingers tightening around iwaizumi's with every shaky breath you took.
he didn't rush you. he simply sat there, his eyes on you as he continued to caress your hands with his thumb, no matter how tight your grip got.
after you let out a shaken, but calming breath, you finally managed to find some words. âi donât want to die, hajime,â you whispered. âi donât want to die. iâm so scaredâ
iwaizumi didn't even notice that his jaw clenched as did his fingers around yours with every word you spoke. "and i don't know what to do anymore. i can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't even get dressed myself. i need someone to be near me when i'm just showering, because sometimes i can't even stay on my feet for long enough"
"i'm going to die, no, i am dying! and there's nothing i can do about it. nothing is working, nothing is helping" your knees buckled underneath you, making you stumble and ultimately fall. thankfully, your boyfriend had his arms securely around you, pulling you into his lap.
"i don't want to die," you managed to choke out as you pressed your face in his chest, letting your weak body be cradled by him.
iwaizumi desperately wanted to say something. offer comfort, be there for his partner. his heart ached seeing them like this, crying in his arms so helplessly. clenching his own eyes shut, iwaizumi swallowed thickly.
was there even anything he could say?
âyouâre not going to dieâ the words sounded hollow, like they had no meaning.
like he didnât believe them himself.
âyouâre going to stay right here with me,â he muttered into your hair, âand youâre not going anywhereâ
iwaizumi waited to believe everything he said. he wanted to picture a future with you by his side, more energetic, positive, healthy.
or at least not stuck in here.
at night he dreamed of a time where the two of you would grow closer every day, move in together, maybe even get married. he yearned for many more happy memories with you.
but he felt like this dream wouldnât become reality.
evanescent
/ÉvÉËnÉs(É)nt,iËvÉËnÉs(É)nt/ â âsoon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.â
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it is time⊠for evanescent to continue
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STAY SAFE!! [ID: the Gilbert Baker pride flag with the words âHappy pride to all those who are unable to celebrate openly and safely. You are loved and seen!â in all-caps black text over it. /end ID]
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idk why but flippig atsumu off feels soooo good lol
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