hdkfjalskdf just thinking of. video games or wtvr stories in general n my heart is just so full of them :((

serene (it’s what i hope for me) ➵ eric sohn

non-idol!eric sohn x reader

you should’ve known that eric wouldn’t be the one.

genre/warnings ➵ angst no happy ending, exes au, gender neutral reader, unedited, lowercase intended, shift between past and present to represent waves (hence the italics), the chilling realization of your suspicions always being right

word count ➵ 845 words

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel @stealanity @deobi0412 @blue-rainydays @maessseongs

playlist ➵ california and me by laufey // you missed my heart by phoebe bridgers

a/n ➵ on my period and in my eric feelings :’) inspired by “california and me” by laufey. please listen to it! it genuinely resembles the feeling of ocean waves, hence the constant shift between past and present :3 and no, the ocean waves pics have no relation to this fic i just love ghibli aesthetics for the banner. i hope you all like this drabble! don’t forget to reblog and leave feedback!

it’s not summer where you are, but you stand where the season lives; sand in between toes, sea meets the shore. you bask in the sunlight as you look at the expanse of blue while the breeze comes and goes.

it’s serene here, beautiful—but it’s lonely; not a single sight of another person here to appreciate where summer continues to live amidst all seasons.

“i’m sorry.” those are the words that first leave eric’s mouth once you two arrive at the han river, the first words to confirm your suspicions of tonight.

you hold your breath. “w—what?”

“i know, i—”

“did i do something wrong?” your glossy eyes shine like stars under the moonlight; you almost hope they’re enough for eric to take those words back.

“no, no!” he attempts to reassure you but they’re meaningless after what he told you. “it’s not your fault. nothing is your fault.”

seagulls flap their wings, croaking out sounds of their whereabouts, finding their flock they may have been separated from. as you hear a similar sound in the distance, you watch the flock rush off.

the ocean runs to kiss the land every time it has to go, regardless of how long the two are kept away from each other. the deep blue rushes to bathe the pale cream, reassuring they will always return.

and while the beach is heaven on earth, you grow bitter. surrounded by instances of one coming back—choosing to reunite with the other—you wonder if that’ll ever happen to you.

“i—i could call you every night, or morning! maybe i can—”

“y/n, no,” he cuts you off. “we talked about this before, remember? we can’t do long distance, we’ve always hated it.”

your lips tremble. “you don’t even want to try?”

silence settles between you two.

“i would try to make it work for us, but you wouldn’t?”

a sigh leaves him. his hand reaches to rub his temple. “but it wouldn’t be fair to us.”

your phone rings. you look at it to see your best friend calling, so you answer it, putting it against your ear.

“y/n, i have to tell you something.”

a chuckle leaves you. “i know.”

“huh? but how? he only posted that picture an hour ago,” chanhee points out. “do you still follow his instagram?”

you only hum in disagreement.

“did you check his profile again?”

as you look down at your feet that’s consumed by the sand, a sigh leaves you.

“i thought we agreed to not look at his socials anymore! do we need to talk—”

“no, chanhee,” you cut him off. “i didn’t look at any of his accounts.”

“then how do you know? you knew exactly what i was referring to. how?”

you close your eyes, letting the heat of the sun and the coolness of the breeze consume you whole. “i just know.”

you look away from eric, allowing your eyes to take in the sight of the river stream continuously flow as it reflects the luminescence of korea—city lights and stars all together.

such a beautiful sight, but such a shame that it’s been soiled by his words.

“you’re right,” you find yourself saying. “we’ve talked about it before, we could never survive in a long distance relationship.”

you look back at eric. his go-to smile and the sparks in his eyes—all vanished in one night.

“i just wish we could.”

“i know. i do, too.”

your eyes peel open, greeted by the sight of the serene once more. you wish it could stay like this—tranquil, lasting.

“i hope you’re okay,” chanhee says on the other line. “i’m sorry that this is happening.”

you bite the inside of your cheek. “it’s okay, i’ll be okay.” it sounds convincing to you but not to your best friend. “i’ll call you later, okay?”

he hums for a moment. “okay, i’m here for you.”

you drop the call. you stare at your home screen for a moment until you decide to open up instagram.

you shouldn’t be doing this, especially after chanhee’s reminder, but your best friend's words have cracked the dam that held the water from pouring out.

you type his user like a password—discreetly, one you still know by heart.

in a matter of seconds, you see his profile pop up as a top suggestion. your thumb hovers over it, unsure if you should proceed or save yourself from reality. but you remember that it won’t change anything—nothing will change if you decide to look or not.

so you click on his profile, and your eyes land on the most recent post. from the preview in his profile grid, you already know that you were right. a bitter smile settles on your lips.

you shut your phone close and shove it into your pocket. your eyes land back to the ocean, glossy once more like that one night. it’s still a beautiful sight, but it’s a shame that it’s been soiled by one post.

in the same way the waves come and go, he always goes back to her.

you asked for lore questions so. do you have any particular starhab Thoughts today

HI I MISSED THIS SOMEHOW but yes the answer to this question is always yes. i always have Them thots

recently, i’ve mostly been rotating what i’ve been uncreatively calling Good AU (AU where Starbuck actually Talks To ahab and they have a proper conversation and convinces him to turn around but not before at least 3 therapy sessions which may or may not involve passive-to-active suicidality on both their parts wahoo)

which is generally the AU i’m always rotating; @coulson-is-an-avenger have been talking abt it for literally 9+ months (n they have made some related fics before me, bc i’m slow <3 /positive) — but right now specifically, since i’ve finally started Actually writing it in the past couple weeks, i’m thinking a lot abt the beginning/setup of the au, which is aforementioned conversations/therapy sessions/breakdowns

more specifically, i’m thinking lots about how melville writes both ahab and starbuck as such deeply, intrinsically lonely people in different ways, and about how some of that loneliness is self inflicted and some of it isn’t. w starbuck especially… (i’ve talked abt this in the comments of a comic page before but) there’s the obvious element of loneliness that comes from losing most of his family to whaling, and having to be away from his wife and child for so long, and being seemingly the only person for a while on this boat who thinks there might be something wrong with ahab, but there is also an element of self-inflicted loneliness too: in Dusk, he specifically mentions the “heathen crew” and how much he feels apart from them. “Oh, God! to sail with such a heathen crew that have small touch of human mothers in them! Whelped somewhere by the sharkish sea. The white whale is their demigorgon.” his whiteness (and racism) and christianity is an element of isolation for him.

melville very regularly and deliberately highlights whiteness as a tool of isolation. ishmael only heals and becomes less lonely when he eschews christian “kindness” — “I’ll try a pagan friend, thought I, since Christian kindness has proved but hollow courtesy.” ahab is excluded and isolated from this world, for various untold reasons, though we can infer that some of them result from his disability (and, if you’re like me, an argument for reading ahab as nonwhite): “socially, Ahab was inaccessible. Though nominally included in the census of Christendom, he was still an alien to it.”

and starbuck—starbuck is of this world, this world of hollow courtesy and alienation, this world of nantucket quakers, which ishmael so poignantly describes as stifling and insular and strict. it is this — this whiteness, this hollow christianity, this learned racism — which prevents Starbuck from meaningfully emotionally connecting with his ‘pagan’ / ‘heathen’ crew, even as we know he is generally in other ways good to them. it is also this worldview which prevents him from meaningfully getting through to ahab.

like, ahab is obviously a traumatized specimen of a man (affectionate), but starbuck is also so deeply entrenched in his hyper specific worldview, just as much as ahab is. he can't connect with ahab more because he's so entrenched in seventeen layers of protestant guilt & conditioning, which is partially just the gay thing, but also like. being unable of conceiving ahab's pain through another framework. bc xtianity and protestantism and whiteness and all these things so wildly distort your concepts of what suffering is and who experiences it and who even has the Right to it, and what the right and wrong ways to experience pain are.

all his reasoning for why ahab giving himself so wholly to vengeance and eschewing all human connection is like… “bc god said it’s bad.” in all the times starbuck (in some ways rightly) gets at ahab for what he's doing, he doesn't ever really get to the point of trying to understand why it's happening? or where ahab is coming from? when what ahab needs is to be met where he’s at, in all his messy ugly pain and trauma

so w/ these conversations in the au it's like. part of it is starbuck letting go of this moral judgment and just coming to ahab with a genuine desire to understand hey. why are you doing this. tell me why this is so important to you. why this whale. why so hard. what is driving you to this. and like. understanding the very real amount of pain that ahab is in. the very real mess of a world that is constantly traumatizing and retraumatizing him. a world of whiteness and christianity and capitalism that has so thoroughly abandoned him to his trauma and his pain that he legitimately sees no other way out, no other alternative for alleviating that pain, than this quest.

basically in order to cure ahab’s loneliness starbuck needs to break his own. he cannot break down the walls around ahab without first reaching out beyond his own. and that’s why he fucking doesn’t in canon and tdjdhdhshdjwhdsjdhsj this is why i am so fucking mentally unwell about these two gay losers hfhehdhdhdhehddh

self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr

so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.

i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill. 

for good: 

seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through 

i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works

politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well

for ill:

wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone

not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby. 

the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting. 

for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.

one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends. 

at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.

on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me. 

i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness. 

i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories. 

i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.

tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir

p.s. fun facts about this blog:

i’ve never changed my icon or blog title

i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me. 

my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)

during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books

the egos as different (new who) incarnations of the Doctor: revisted

(havent written an analysis type of thing in a while, miss sharing ideas with people in general aha :’D)

originally 2am thoughts/concepts that i might draw aka revisiting the concept of the egos as different regenerations of the doctor (debate and additions are welcome):

schneeplestein- nine

(first regeneration after the time war and as such major guilt and lonliness from being the sole survivor who also had to be the one to end it. this paralleling to schneep’s 9 month disappearance and his possible guilt resulting from the events of say goodbye and moreso kill jse (as well as schneep probably doing risky things in the name of stopping anti). other things including, sass, calling humans “stupid apes”, rational, angry sometimes, but can appreciate the ancient human music that is tainted love, saving their friend/companion and telling them to live a good life as they head off to face their longtime enemy,the pain you see on his face when he gets compared to said enemy (”you would make a good puppet dalek), bananas being good source of potassium)

chase- ten

(is kind of a mess but a cool mess, generally the most emotional/human of the incarnations, starts off as a cool, charismatic type of guy but slowly goes downward into a spiral of sadness and lonliness as everyone he loved leaves (ya see the connection im getting at?), loses the girl he loved and missing the chance to tell her he loved her, ”im fine” he says as he just lost his best friend and is now alone standing in the pouring rain, accidentally quoting the lion king and harry potter but also “no second chances im that kind of man,” loves little shops and making things that go ding and silly made up words like “wibbly wobbly timey wimey”, literally Human Nature/Family of Blood shows how much he wanted a human life with a wife and kids and the episode "the doctor's daughter" where he finally gets a kid and loses her, the hero who goes from saving the universe with all his friends around him to him dying alone not wanting to go, literally called “the man that regrets” in dotd, listen to love don't roam on YouTube)

jj- eleven

(the doctor with the most confusing timeline, child-like wonder and the look of a young lad hiding the tired eyes of an old man who has seen and gone through so much, very protective of his fond family/people he loves, he literally snuck into a charlie chaplin film in s6′s immpossible astronaut, also stayed in Victorian london for a time which would be jj's aesthetic tbh, can be silly and clumsy and starry-eyed while also being capable of becoming the oncoming storm, “ Good men don't need rules, today is not the day to find out why i have so many.”, great with kids, like weird/unique hatwear, b o w t i e s, g o g g l e s, just wants to go home even if it’s the long way round, “every lonely monster needs a companion” (you can’t tell me jj probably would still feel like a monster cos of how closely related he is to anti), and also theres puppets in two episodes of his, despite the darkness and loneliness it just made him kind, the optimist, the hoper of far flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams )

marvin- twelve

(recognizing gender as a concept far beyond them obvs, he’s literally called a magician half the time lol, avoiding death by rocking out in the 1500s with an electric guitar on top of an army tank, “can you hurry up before i hit you with my shoe”, as a morally gray character that many theorize whether he’s good/bad, marvin relates well to twelve’s whole journey of questioning if he was a good man and willing to learn the extents of what that means, tried his best to not only do right but to try to help those who weren’t good people who he knew needed help, would fight robin hood irl with a spoon and have a sign saying “go away humans”, not totally great with social cues but he tries and that’s what counts, seemingly cold and harsh and grump but take time to know him and he’s actually warm deep down, "do you think i care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?", wiliing to "go to hell" for their friend, not only protective of the people he loves but is also willing to to things like repeatedly die over 8 billion years and almost cause the destruction of the universe for the sake of saving his friend, would sacrifice himself recklessly in the name of standing up for what he believed in)

jackieboy man-thirteen

(total ray of sunshine who also recognizes the dangers of being close to them (i.e. dying, forgetting, getting trapped in another time or parallel world, getting converted and dying, etc) and as such keeps those they love at a distance, literally not talking about who they truly were for a whole series cos they didn't want to wrap their family up into their own troubles they faced, adorably socially awkward/anxious but still perseveres in the face of danger and certain doom, "darkness never sustains, even though sometimes it feels like it might," would build their own gadgets, g o g g l e s, would eat dirt and bone dust for analysis, would save the day by becoming best friends with a sentient universe in the form of a frog, always tries to have a flat team structure but in reality "this team structure...it isn't flat. It's mountainous, with me, in the stratosphere, alone, left to choose. Save jack the poet, save the universe. Sometimes, even i can't win.", P U N S)

Bonus content: anti as sacha Dawhan's master

like *chefs kiss* (LITERALLY pretended to be the doctor's friend for years until revealing he actually killed him before she met him and took his place (that gif is him just throwing away that dude's minituraized dead body btw), the kneel scene, his s m i l e, maniacal g l e e as he destroys everything and kills people all to cover up the pain and sadness and anger he feels inside because of her *cough a piece of SPOILER being inside him and him not being able to stand it is definitely anti/jack vibes cough*, also imagine this small exchange but between jackieboy man and anti:

The doctor: "proud of yourself?"

The master: "Definitely."

The doctor: "all this death...Finally made you happy?"

The Master, smiling: "Ecstatic."

The doctor, closer to his face: "And has it calmed all the rage?"

The master, pausing and looking away: "...I don't think anything will ever do that."

Also pls watch that spyfall pt1 reveal scene (basically the whole ending tbh), again it's just *chef's kiss*

Ok that's enough blabbering from me. Still debating on drawing the egos as the doctor (ooh maybe a screen cap redraw would be fun if some people have suggestions for an ep to ref for each one (granted who knows if I'd have time to draw them all but I'm curious anyway lol)) ok time to head out *yeets*.

For the fanfic writer ask meme: E, N & W. Thanks 🙂.

Thanks for the ask, anon! (sorry for responding so late aaaa)  Questions from this writing ask game

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

C-3PO, I too am loud, over-talkative, anxious, like linguistics, and tend to bother people.  Lol but for real?  Ok, I know I’ve made this joke before, but minus the evil and the murder, I really do relate to Anakin in a way, like I’ve got this entire [post] on why I think he’s ADHD like I am, and his anxiety and general tendency to be a disaster socially resonates with me too, like, I get that.  I’m also a massive drama queen who’s really smart about like one or two particular things so yea.  I’d say overall tho, I’m probably the most like Luke, a little whiny and awkward, a little dramatic, little reckless, love my friends and family a LOT, want to explore.  As to fics that capture similar qualities, I’d definitely say Pas de Deux, the way I write Anakin in it has a LOT of my anxiety and my worst headspace involved and wrapped up in his character, I very much projected a bit while writing it.

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

Ohhhh honey you’ve got a storm coming….  besides the obvious other two books in walk the (family) line, I’ve got an entire list on a separate document of different stories I want to write, ideas including:

A oneshot fic I’m actually kinda working on right now.  It’s another modern!AU Obikin romcom and I won’t spoil it, but it involves parkour, R2 the parrot, Obi Wan may or may not be James Bond, and Anakin accidentally becomes Twitter famous

An epistolary style fic set during Obi Wan’s time on Tatooine where nine year old Leia finds the emergency comm Bail has to contact him, and both the lonely, kind of awkward young princess and the tired old hermit who should know better but is also lonely and misses both of her parents dearly set up a penpal relationship.  End goal is to establish a relationship that gives Leia a proper reason to name her son “Ben”.

A semi-crackfic where the Jedi Council gets some sort of Clue From The Force™ about the identity of the Secret Sith Lord, that clue being that the Sith Lord is: a politician with close ties to Anakin Skywalker, and also had very specific motives to send Darth Maul to Naboo.  Alllll the wrong conclusions are drawn from that, and the next day, Padmé Amidala is arrested for treason.  Obi Wan is the only Council member who’s like “y’all she’s innocent, it’s clearly the fucking Chancellor”, Sidious tries to manipulate the situation to remove the only two people in his way at once, and poor Anakin spends the entire fic in a state of “UH HI YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON”  Shenanigans ensue

A 5+1 times they kissed Obikin alternate canon shortfic, because I’m hopeless and want to write shmoop.

A Sadmé (Satine/Padme) Ocean’s 8 AU that came about entirely over me yelling over Cate Blanchett and wanting to write a heist fic starring all of the SW Prequels/TCW ladies being total badasses

This absolutely BONKERS Rebels AU fic where S4 Ezra accidentally pulls both Ahsoka AND Kanan into the World Between Worlds during the Vader fight in S2.  Vader recognizes what happened and promptly kidnaps S2 Ezra who’s there by himself— as well as Maul who’s established a bond with Ezra over the Sith holocron —in hopes of discovering the secret of time travel.  While S2 Ezra has to somehow survive the Crazy Murder Roadtrip with Maul and Vader, now S4 Ezra, Kanan, and Ahsoka have to race to A: Find and rescue S2 Ezra before one of the Sith kill him— and therefore also kill S4 Ezra, B: Make sure Maul and Vader’s tentative alliance doesn’t lead to them finding Obi Wan for obvious reasons, and C: Make sure neither Maul nor especially Vader find the Lothal Temple World Between Worlds entrance and risk unleashing either into a past they both desperately want to change

A fic detailing different little neuroses and traits and attitudes passed down through the Yoda-Dooku-Jinn-Kenobi-Skywalker-Tano line.

Cross generational shortfic focusing on the desert children— Anakin, Luke, and Rey — and their first experiences with water and rain

A ficlet where Yoda somehow gets babified and basically just all of the Jedi Order having to deal with the cuteness overload that is Baby Yoda.

A post-TROS political drama where Leia’s Force Ghost realizes that once again, a new government is gonna need to be built in the aftermath of the First Order’s nonsense and that there are almost no good remaining politicians in the galaxy.  Finn is unfortunate enough to know how command works, how to take charge, how to deal with FO remnants, and is Force Sensitive enough to see ghosts, so Leia takes it upon herself to mold Finn into the next leader of the GFFA.  Would focus on rebuilding, family legacy, be very very Jedistormpilot, and so on.  I feel like I’m not really invested enough in the ST but I reeeeally want to see this idea in fic form, so I might end up giving this idea away at some point.

This one fic that’s been going through my head for YEARS but have always felt scared of actually writing because I know right now that it’s gonna get LONG, like over 200k (lol and look what’s happening with Mutuals ahahAHAHA—) where Anakin flat out dies.  Just, during TCW season 5, he fights Dooku and in the process of killing him, goes down with him and dies.  Padmé will have just became about a month pregnant at this time, and part of the fic will focus on her and Obi Wan and Ahsoka dealing with the aftermath of Anakin’s death, as Sidious is forced to jumpstart his plans and execute Order 66 early now that he’s not waiting on Anakin anymore.  The other part of the fic will focus on Anakin’s ghost, unable to communicate with Obi Wan or Ahsoka and having to watch them and Padmé and the surviving Jedi form the Rebellion themselves and his children being born and growing up without him, even though Luke and Leia will end up being the only ones who can see him.  It’ll go right up through the 20 years of the Empire and have a gigantic cast and I just don’t know if I can do it.

Now, I hate to say it, but I need to let it be known that these are still MY IDEAS, and I have not given anyone permission to use them, so please do not be that person.  Do not steal these ideas for yourself.  I will be VERY upset if someone does.  If you really like an idea, DM me and ask, but I don’t plan to give any of them away at the moment.

W: What is your favorite pairing to write?  Favorite pairing to read?

Hmm, to write?  That’s tough!  There’s so many different complex relationships in Star Wars that I’ve really found myself enjoying exploring, and it’s hard to find a particular one that I like best.  I’m open to at least sampling most pairings for reading, but my favorite has to be Obikin.  It just makes me happy!!!!! :D

Thanks again for asking, and y’all should tell me in the notes if any of the fic ideas sound like something you’d read!!!!!

@uberoll-oystercrackers late night (early morning?) posting here but this is super nice ty and also again retroactively thank you additionally for all the long replies & kind tags you give

like really yeah it’s like, on the one hand, it’s fairly sucky having to have this thing where im always jumping the gun on considering someone Maybe An Friend and then having to remind myself / be reminded of the fact that like no probably not, which is true and yet sucks, which is just how some stuff is!! like sometimes stuff just is Not Good and is not ever going to Not Hurt, despite the fact you can kinda get better at living with it. and like this one isnt a huge deal even tho the larger problem of when ur like, lonely &/or isolated is kind of a whole real deal……

like it’s strange having these contradictory problems with it…..like, Being Myself has never really just been something i can Naturally do, so even just trying to be nice is like oh lord am i being ~manipulative~, and im always too prone to treat interactions like ive got to placate the other person, and then also just like….not having amazing social skills anyways in the sense that i know a lot of times i come across ~off~ to people and can’t really do a lot about that, but also, i feel like i’m always overcompensating for like, enthusiasm and just the fact i like to Get Silly and maybe i’ll act too cool~n~collected or come off like im trying to be all Smart and Smarmy and like jeez no……it doesnt help that when i was younger i generally preferred interacting with adults and so probably was trying to come across as clever and when i was wanting someone to like me i’d be real nervous and try to go too hard in seeming the opposite lol……oh the legacy of the time i found out my mom’s childhood friend who was funny and cool to us thought i was bookish (true) but like also snobby or something lmao like ah jeez i probably made too many sarcastic jokes about things….but oh well i was just like 10-ish at the time.

anyways tho i feel like that still kicks in and when i get the sense someone is cool and it’d be cool if they thought i was cool too i’m like Well So Then i gotta PLAY it cool!! and then like oh no am i coming across as a jerk? or an trying-to-be-an-intellectual?? i always have a lot of thoughts and i do go off when its like, also tied in to Opinions of mine, so im like, oh no am i coming across as trying to tell someone i think they should think exactly this?? or if i try to Be Witty and Tell Jokes are they just coming off as snarky b/c i hope not especially since a lot of times my actual Lighthearted Snark gets read as “i hate this and think its dumb af” lol. ahhhh i just do not know!! like, i wanna sort of dial back my Warmth b/c i can get enthused fast and i have a tendency to get too attached to ppl too fast, which really only sucks for me, but still!! yet i dont wanna rein it in too much and try to overcompensate and come off like im Eternally Unimpressed and don’t really care and etc etc and just…..idk its wild it’s hard to tell how i may be socializing awkwardly lmao ahhh….and on top of it all, i manage to be godawful at realizing when other ppl actually like me. like, that sort of sounds like The Opposite but i guess its just more of that problem of thinking that im going to always bother people….a lot of times it takes me like, months or a year (or two or three) to realize that someone who willingly interacts w me during that time probably does genuinely like me and is maybe a friend. wrow

uhhhh anyways lord that was all just. tangentially related. im Tangents

UH more to the point!!!! the good news is that yeah i don’t have to think “oh we’re totally real bffs” about anyone to really enjoy and appreciate Our Interactions…..and like i do have real appreciation and gratitude for basically all nice attention lol like, if a single reblog of smthing has kind comments, if someone cool just Likes a few posts, talking on occasion or like, ever at all. cuz for real The Little Stuff has always been a really good thing for years now, especially since there’s been plenty of times i havent really had anything happening In Person that was like….good interactions or ppl who were able to hear my actual thoughts and feelings about whatever and still be interested in interacting with me. cuz in terms of not being isolated and in what i find it easy to talk about and how, Online Interactions have been genuinely important and impactful in a positive way for like a solid decade now since i was able to be consistently Online and have my own accounts and stuff in the first place

so like yeah totally i really do appreciate stuff like that. i think its pretty incredible whenever anybody just like, thinks of me, and likes me. having None Of That Feeling is supremely trash and i so appreciate that i don’t have to feel like there’s nothing and that nobody out there in the world is aware of me, and yet i don’t need it to be that like, anyone is Constantly aware of me and like, intensely invested, cuz that’s just not how it goes lol and even kinda meaning a little bit to someone and having my tiny presence in their life be a positive one is a great thought and i really do appreciate it. Unfortunately for like….my entire life, The Contempt Of Others has been a consistent #thing i’m dealing with and it’s not great!! like yeah fortunately ive had the “felt so bad about myself that it eventually circled back around and now self loathing isnt too much of an issue for me” thing, but it still sucks experiencing it lol…..having any testimonials that like, whatever shit im talking about @ myself is fun to read, or i seem okay, or its fun to talk, etc etc, like thats fantastic really

and the kinds of leaf thoughts too, yeah, that kind of thing is nice to know too lol. i was hoping you were ok like, ten hours before i saw you posting again lol…..we’re out here……..

like yeah ldmbgglh whatever my weird problems are with being overexcited abt any Potential Friendship, and also being bad at realizing if people do like me, and also just being Weird and not great at talking, and overcompensating for whatever and maybe coming across too Coldly when rly im a fiery dumbass, wanting friends but also wanting not to be burned by getting ahead of things and being reminded that most ppl aren’t like, as starved for even just friendly interactions……..i’m better at navigating and handling it in some ways but c’est a m’ess!!! aaaggbfg

really what im trying to say is i do appreciate that sort of thing a lot yeah. i could very well Not be thought of by anybody and that would suck and the fact that i get to know that i am is a really great thing. maybe i couldve said this all better last night cuz i was kinda in my feelings abt Life a little but then also it was in a sort of déspresso way so, maybe this is okay lol….

also i worry i don’t express affection and appreciation enough!!! it’s not that i’m like Oh i don’t want to Commit to Being Friends ew…..it’s that i don’t wanna be the one pressuring someone else into being like uh oh i have to play up being invested in milo!! but then maybe my playing-it-cool just makes other ppl do the same thing or think i don’t care or something. like oh i appreciate this person a ton and think they’re great and they’ve been kind to me but if we only talk so often and obviously im not There for them and involved in their life in the way a ~real friend~ would be, maybe it would just ring hollow to say i love them, for example. lord lol……. it’s all “oh don’t dial down your kindness and affection” and yet also “but don’t wanna inadvertently push other people or Be Weird or get myself invested in something where i don’t mean as much to the other person not cuz they suck but because like, of course im just a fun internet acquaintance, which is fine!!” ahhhhhh the challenges. anyways!!!!!!!

the point is well i do like ppl yeah and i really appreciate ppl liking me. every now and then they do it online or even in person and thats just a Joy and i wish things were more secure!!! i also have to not even necessarily want ppl to get invested in me in case things go to shit too soon or whatever and it doesnt help that ~being open~ means talking abt depressingass stuff sometimes that like, i don’t mind being open about, but i also don’t want to put on other ppl. which, sidenote on that, im feeling relatively alright all these recent months even if im not technically thriving; it’s okay. it’s a hot mess! but that’s just How It Is sometimes!! it’s what it is. and ive had support from ppl in big and small ways that i know i could have had to go without and all the ways ppl are nice to me count for a whole lot and i have appreciated it, and do appreciate it, and will continue to appreciate it.

tldr 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

My Favorite Albums of 2018

Here is my list of my personal top albums of 2018

You can find my separate list for top EPs of 2018 here.

My Previous monthly lists from 2018: January , February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

My list last year for my top Albums of 2017 can be found here.

*Indicated someone I saw live in 2018

Honorable Mention:

Alan Walker - Different World Genre: Electronic / Dance

Different World is life in a digital universe. On the surface the mechanical synth-based melodies might come off as a bit too artificial, but if you dispel the notion computers can’t be a musical instrument you can see there’s a heartbeat under the churning gears. In the context of the album all the tracks really work together harmoniously, a pretty amazing feat considering these songs were recorded and released over the span of three years. There is a intentional, common vernacular across the tracks that melds it together quite nicely. Despite the plasticity on top, this debut album is artificial intelligence exuding relatable emotion and infectious energy. I don’t know what’s more human than that.

Proof: Lonely (w/ Steve Aoki Feat. ISÁK & Omar Nior) / Darkside (Feat. Au/Ra & Tomine Harket)

Alina Baraz - The Color Of You Genre: alt-R&B / Soul

The soothing and sultry voice of Alina Baraz can seriously sing to me the phone book and I would rock back and forth in a happy place. The world was first introduced to Alina Baraz when she teamed with Danish producer Galimatias for their euphoric, synth-pop joint EP Urban Flora. For her first solo project Baraz goes for a bit more of a stipped down sound which allows her soulful vocals to shine as they whisk you away. This enduring and intimate album shows the future is bright for the singer and her low lit music.

Proof: Fallin / I Don’t Even Know Why Though // Bonus: Feels Right

Chloe x Halle - The Kids Are Alright Genre: alt-R&B

Sisters Chloe & Halle’s talents caught the attention of none other than Beyoncé who scooped them up for her label and now their unique and unpredictable form of R&B is catching the attention of the masses. The sisters broke out on the scene with 2016’s Sugar Symphony EP, followed up by the YouTube released mixtape The Two of Us. This debut album has been in the works since before that original EP was released and with most of the production handled by them is a true culmination of their hard work to get to this point. The hard work is already paying dividends with two GRAMMY nominations including “Best New Artist”.

Proof: Everywhere / Galaxy

CHVRCHES - Love Is Dead Genre: Synth-Pop

On their third album, Love Is Dead, for the first time Scottish band CHVRCHES used outside producers on a record. The result is a bit more expansive of a sound for the group then before. The moments of emotion and energy seem a bit more unhinged (in a good way). Lauren also adjusted her writing techniques from a metaphor heavy style that would allude to subjects to a much more straightforward vocabulary addressing things head on. It’s still the same identifiable vernacular of the band CHVRCHES but with a few new art pieces up on the walls.

Proof: Never Say Die / Miracle

Don Diablo - FUTURE Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Dance

Ten years after his debut, Dutch producer shows by he’s been a sought after producer for nearing twenty years. FUTURE shows how the producer has been able to craft entertaining and contagious pop melodies that resonate ohh so well.

Proof: Take Her Place (Feat. A R I Z O N A) / Found You (Feat. Bully Songs)

J.I.D. - DiCaprio 2 Genre: Hip Hop

J. Cole signee J.I.D. Didn’t waste time following up his 2017 debut album The Never Story. The Atlanta rapper already had a following established from independently released mixtapes and EPs before last year. The Never Story exposed to a wider audience this newcomer has got some lyrical skills and a silky, smooth flow, DiCapro 2 (a sequel to his 2015 DiCaprio EP) only exacerbates the exposure to his talent even more.

Proof: 151 Rum / Tiiied (Feat. 6LACK & Ella Mai)

JMSN - Velvet Genre: R&B / Soul / Funk

The shape shifting R&B of Michigan singer JMSN has been one of my favorites since his 2012 revelation of a debut †Priscilla† (which topped my 2012 albums list). His first album and EP were very much in the hazy low lit alt-R&B sound similar to The Weeknd and How To Dress Well. JMSN then molded his sound to a more straightforward form of R&B for an album. Again, not being complacent, his two following albums transformed again this time to sound like a jazz assemble backing a soul singer. Well, JMSN takes another left turn with Velvet incorporating some sultry funk. With dripping base lines and bouncing synth keys this is JMSN’s most vibrant sound yet.

Proof: Levy / Drama

Kylie Minogue - Golden Genre: Synth-Pop / Country

I am admittedly not a big country fan, and some more die hard country listeners my roll their eyes at me calling this album country. Kylie Minogue is going on 30 years in the industry and mostly been a danceable, synth-pop artist. For her fortieth album Golden, Kylie went to Nashville and incorporated country and bluegrass music tendencies into her sound; something that could be a disastrous ambition. I guess you don’t just luck into making music for three decades, because this interesting mixture is pulled off beautifully. Golden is an effective and innovative mash up of electronic music, synth-pop and country in a surprisingly delicious cocktail.

Proof: Stop Me From Falling / Every Little Part of Me

Logic - YSIV Genre: Hip Hop

With one of the most lethal flows in the game, Logic dropped off two projects in 2018. First was the follow up of his Bobby Tarantino Mixtape. The second was his fourth LP, but this time reviving his Young Senatra persona from mixtapes earlier in his career (the last one came out in 2013). YSIV or as it stands for “Young Sinatra 4” is another verbal assault by the talented rapper and one of his most confident records to date. The robust use of skits and interludes has always been a gripe of mine with Logic albums, and gladly they are noticeably absent here. No matter what persona he dons, Logic has some of the most ferocious lyrical prowess in the industry and he loves to show it off.

Proof: The Return / 1000 Miles & Running (Feat. Wale & John Lindahl)

MNEK - Language Genre: R&B / Electronic

Before this debut album was released British singer/producer/songwriter MNEK already had multiple GRAMMY nominations from his songwriting and production work with artists including Kylie Minogue, MØ, Madonna, Zara Larsson, Julia Michaels, Dua Lipa, Beyoncé and a whole slew of others. With the success of his stellar 2015 EP Small Talk he became a sought after commodity in the industry. For his debut album MNEK wanted to make a statement of who the man behind the boards and pen is. Language is an exhilarating listen front to back and an exciting mixture of intersecting genres.

Proof: Tongue / Colour (Feat. Hailee Steinfield)

SOB X RBE - GANGIN / GANGIN II Genre: Hip Hop

It’s been a busy year for the new hip hop foursome from Vallejo. They dropped their self titled Mixtape in 2017 to catch the attention of Kendrick who put a song by them on the Black Panther soundtrack. Striking while the iron was hot, the group released their debut album in February and their Sophomore album (or an extension of their debut) only a few months later in September. Growing up the Bay Area the group is obviously influenced heavily by the Hyphy movement. You can hear elements of influences from E-40, Keak da Sneak, The Team and others in that Hyphy sound; but with a contemporary twist.

Proof: Anti Social / Can’t // North Vallejo / Made It

Superorganism - Superorganism Genre: Indie Pop

Eight member group from various countries formed the band Superorganism in 2017. Together they would send tracks through Facebook and WhatsApp and each member would add some layers on to it. The concoction is a dense, multifaceted form of unique pop music. The various layers of instruments, synths, and samples intertwine to create a mesh of melodies that bounce along gracefully despite their mass.

Proof: Everybody Wants To Be Famous / Reflections on the Sun

Tove Stryke - Sway Genre: Synth-Pop

This short and sweet album by The Swedish singer is her strongest to date. There’s a subtle growing of confidence I can see from this album to its predecessor 2015’s Kiddo. Despite its short run time, Sway makes quite an enjoyable impression.

Proof: Sway / Mistakes

Typhoon - Offerings Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

American rock band Typhoon follow up 2013’s White Lighter with their fourth album here. Offerings is a moving and powerful affair. Most of the tracks start off mellow and sweet with moments of crashing guitars and unfiltered emotion bursting out.

Proof: Rorschach / Darker

VanJess - Silk Canvas Genre: R&B / Neo-Soul

The sisters of first generation Nigerian immigrants started singing covers on YouTube before first getting signed way back in 2011. Their debut was worth the weight, Silk Canvas is some infectious forward thinking R&B with subtle nostalgia baked in. You can see influences from the likes of Rihanna, SWV, TLC and others.

Proof: Touch The Floor (Feat. Masego) / Best Believe

Bonus:

Major Lazer - Major Lazer Essentials Genre: Electronic / Dance

Since their debut album Major Lazer has been one of my favorites. Now three albums, multiple EPs and a couple mixtapes later, Diplo has announced a new album in 2019 (10 years after their debut) will be the end of the project for the immediate future as he pursues his other many projects. With this announcement Diplo released this compilation album of greatest hits and a handful of new tracks. My first thought when I gave my original spin through this collection was “damn, Major Lazer just had some gd hits!” Listening in one place to the standout tracks from 2009 to now is an exhilarating and entertaining experience centered around diversity and overflowing passion.

Proof: Blow That Smoke (Feat. Tove Lo) / Know No Better (Feat. Travis Scott, Camila Camila & Quavo) / Watch Out For This (Feat. Busy Signal, The Flexican & FS Green) / Tied Up (Feat. Mr Eazi, RAYE & Jake Gosling)

The List:

Last One Out: NoMBe - They Might’ve Even Loved Me Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock / R&B

German born singer NoMBe is here to seduce you and I say you should let him. They Might’ve Even Loved Me is a steamy collection of rock songs about love, sex and navigating through life. NoMBe’s vocals are subdued and sly enacting a sense of mystery. The backdrops are built on groovy bass lines and plucky guitar riffs meant to get your foot tapping and hips slowly moving. I can see obvious influences from The Killers, Kings of Leon and Prince. Deeper down I also see hints of Blood Orange, Twin Shadow and D’Angelo.

Proof: Young Hearts / Freak Like Me / Jump Right In / Sex

35. Rejjie Snow - Dear Anne Genre: Hip Hop

Hip Hop is usually about being forceful and having to reach out and grab what society has built roadblocks for you to attain. Irish rapper Rejjie Snow is the opposite of that. His subtle, jazzy production is minimalist and doesn’t directly ask for your attention. This allows the mellow, but skilled flow of Rejjie to take the lead. I wouldn’t label Rejjie’s rapping as slow, but it moves at a comfortable and steady pace and doesn’t need to be unnecessarily sped up. With the vibe being so well established, the listener can now comfortably hang onto every lyric which are well written in matters of love and maturing in life we all can identify with.

Proof: Spaceships (Feat. Ebenezer) / Egyptian Luvr (Feat. Aminé & Dana Williams) / Charlie Brown (Feat. Anna of the North) / Annie (Feat. Jesse Boykins III)

34. Kelela - TAKE ME A_PART THE REMIXES Genre: alt-R&B / Electronic

Kelela’s debut album Take Me Apart was one of my favorite albums last year. Her sound that was a mixture of Aaliyah, late 80s Janet Jackson laid over production that would fit on a Massive Attack album was such an enjoyable smooth and sultry listen. Her strong vision of her projects as a whole make for a cohesive listen. That strong vision carries over to this robust remix compilation that is not your average remix album. The diverse range of producers offering remixes make for a dynamic listen that teleport you to various new environments throughout. Kelela was part of the process curating this album with each of the producers, even recording some new vocals here and there if needed. It’s that devotion to her craft that makes me confident Kelela will be a long time.

Proof: KAYTRANADA_WAITIN_115 BPM / LSDXOXO_TRUTH OR DARE_123 BPM / NÍDIA_BLUE LIGHT_123 BPM / BADSISTA_BETTER_125 BPM (Feat. Linn da Quebrada)

33. Whethan* - Life of a Wallflower, Pt. 1 Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

The most impressive skill in electronic’s wonderkid Whethan’s arsenal is his ability to construct a diverse range of sounds within a genre that usually leads to being in niches. Since he first debuted in 2015 at the age of 16, Whethan had been a producer chameleon making tracks that don’t sounds like the last two or three or anything he released before had. Before this debut album was released he already got to work with the likes of Flux Pavilion, Charli XCX, Elohim, Ashe, MAX & Dua Lipa so his clout is rapidly growing in the industry. That’s from his ability to mold and morph melodies to his will. With apparently another album set to be released on 2019, the young Chicago producer is riding this accent with no end point in sight.

Proof: Radar (Feat. HONNE) / Top Shelf (Feat. Bipolar Sunshine) / Superlove (Feat. Oh Wonder) / Be Like You (Feat. Broods) // Bonus: High (Feat. Dua Lipa)

32. Kali Uchis - Isolation Genre: R&B / Soul

The soulful, vintage sound of Colombian-American Kali Uchis has an appealing and comforting nostalgia while also feeling contemporary and innovative. You can see her influences of 1960s Soul and doo-wop music as well as traditional Colombian music as the vertebrae of her stripped-back sound but also see how she’s molding it to her will to fit in 2018. Her tender voice can bounce along a track so gracefully in her unique melodies creating a dynamic experience despite a minimalist pallet.

Proof: Just A Stranger (Feat. Steve Lacy) / Tyrant (Feat. Jorja Smith) / Dead To Me / After The Storm (Feat. Tyler, The Creator & Bootsy Collins)

31. Mother Mother - Dance and Cry Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Canadian Rock band Mother Mother’s sound is an exciting coalesce of Modest Mouse, Arcade Fire and My Chemical Romance. Dance and Cry is a touching record of heartbreak and the hope afterwords. I admittedly haven’t listened to an entire project from Mother Mother before this, their seventh album, so I can’t really offer much history or how their sound may have evolved. However, this was a pleasant surprise when I first took it for a spin that kept surprising me every listen after, so I will personally be paying more attention to the band after.

Proof: Dance and Cry / Get Up / So Down / It’s Alright

30. Vince Staples - FM! Genre: Hip Hop

Long Beach rapper Vince Staples marches to the beat of his own drum with a IDGAF attitude. Seventeen months after releasing my personal favorite album of 2017, Vince is back with a new project; I’m not sure what to call it. Is FM! an album, a mixtape, just a recorded radio show? The thing is Vince could really care less about those questions, he just makes what he wants to. Put together as one radio show where the tracks abruptly end, there’s hosts playing stupid games with callers, quick commercial breaks for other rapper’s projects, the project comes out as an odd but accurate snapshot of 2018. With a run time under 30 minutes this album is like a shot of adrenaline and ends before any lethargic coming down. Staples verses are as strong as ever with the same bouncy beats we’ve known him to find to spit over with his normal laid back vigor.

Proof: Outside! / Relay / FUN! (Feat./ E-40) / No Bleedin (Feat. Kamaiyah)

29. St. Lucia - Hyperion Genre: Synth-Pop

South African frontman and main showrunner of the New York band St. Lucia returns with his lush and decadent pop music meant to overload your senses. St. Lucia has vaulted to the top of my personal bands list since their debut 2013’s When The Night; which led to me seeing them live 4 times in less than 24 months. Hyperion has a little less “pop” for me then it’s two predecessors, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still a joyous piece of tropical, electro-Pop. There’s even a few new wrinkles, like some George Michael inspired Gospel infusion on “Paradise Is Waiting” or the hints of 80′s rock in the margins of “Walking Away”.

Proof: A Brighter Love / Paradise is Waiting / Walking Away / China Shop

28. Joji - BALLADS 1 Genre: alt-R&B

Japanese singer Joji has come a long way from making a silly internet meme to this surprising debut album. Originally known for starting the “Harlem Shake” meme on his YouTune channel; forever making the actual dance from the 90’s forgotten. Sometime a couple years ago he decided to take music as a serious venture. There was some aspects I liked of his 2017 debut EP In Tongues but overall there was something not quite clicking for me. The seemed to be too much focus on the air underwater vibe and not enough on the song crafting. Well that seemed to be ironed out here with a beautiful debut album that has some heart wrenching moments. “SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK” was one of my favorite songs of 2018, and shows the once YouTube jokester can really dig deep and pull out raw emotion on a song.

Proof: SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK / TEST DRIVE / WANTED U / NO FUN // Bonus: SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK (Loud Luxury Remix)

27. ayokay - In The Shape Of A Dream Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Future Bass

Los Angeles based (Detroit born) DJ ayokay drops off his debut LP of sunkissed Electronic music. ayokay is not afraid to deal with some sadness in his songs, but they maintain a danceable vibe, emulating the mask we all wear in public over our emotions. Who’s ready to cry in the club with me?

Proof: Sleepless Nights (Feat. Nightly) / Don’t Wanna Be Your Friend (Feat. Katie Pearlman) / Stay With Me (Feat. Jeremy Zucker) / Half Past You (Feat. Future Jr.)

26. Tash Sultana - Flow State Genre: Indie Pop / R&B / Soul

Step into the lush and picturesque world created by the Australian multi-instrumentalists that is Tash Sultana. Sultana is a solo jam band as all fifteen instruments on the record are played by Tash, who utilizes looping programs to build these vast microcosms of sound. With the sultry vocals the sound is like Erykah Badu mixed with Aaliyah mixed with The Roots. The smooth vibes and dense backdrops take over on Flow State, a record that’s meant to get lost in.

Proof: Big Smoke / Cigarettes / Salvation / Mystik

25. Janelle Monáe - Dirty Computer Genre: R&B / Neo-Soul

Janelle Monáe is on quite a multimedia run right now and I don’t think it will slow down anytime soon. The singer/actor hasn’t technically won an EGOT award yet, but I see her flirting with the achievement soon. Already in two Oscar for Best Picture nominated movies “Hidden Figures” and “Moonlight” (the latter winning), the accomplished singer shows we are only seeing the beginning of her talents. The “G” in the EGOT might not be far off with probably her most comprehensive and impressive album to date Dirty Computer gaining some GRAMMY nominations: including Album of the Year. Dirty Computer is also my personal favorite project from Janelle. She describes it as finding her true authentic self and expressing that more effectively to the world and I can very much see that. She also worked on this album with the late genius Prince before his passing and you can very much see his influences throughout. There’s the airy dancing synths emulating a bit of the later Prince from Art Official Age on “Crazy, Classic, Life”. “Make Me Feel” is dripping with funk similar to something off of 1999. Album closer “Americans” utilizes a empowering soulful keyboard riff that could be taken straight from any of the albums with The Revolution. Despite the heavy influence, Janelle doesn’t use it as a crutch but as a tool to take her sound to a new level. She never loses her strong sense of self though the project, I feel we are finally peeling some of the protective exoskeleton that is Janelle Monáe and learning more about the beautiful and inspirational person beneath.

Proof: Crazy, Classic, Life / Make Me Feel / Like That / Americans

24. Alison Wonderland - Awake / Awake (The Remixes) Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop

We all are just trying to find our “Happy Place”. Hopefully the therapeutic burst of emotion that is Awake can help Australian DJ Alison Wonderland (real name Alexandra) find her own. With her sophomore album,  I feel Alexandra has really found her voice and that’s with the keen ability to be able to personify the struggles of relationships, self doubt and mental illness for her fans. Usually, emotion within Electronic music is viewed with a level of plasticity to it. There should be no doubt in the genuine passion in Alexandra’s form of electronic music. She may think her admirers should “find someone that’s easier” but I prefer the emotional depth and honesty.

Proof: No / Easy / Church / Awake // Okay (Blush Remix) / No (Paces Remix) / Awake (KRANE Remix) / Easy (Kill Paris Remix)

23. Charli XCX - Pop 2 [Mixtape] Genre: Synth-Pop

Technically released in 2017, but late enough it didn’t make my list last year and got pushed to 2018, Charli returned with her second mixtape in nine months and, for me, my favorite project of hers since her debut album; possibly of her career. Pop 2 is a futuristic electro-pop record where genres are fluid and expression is currency. The thing I feel Charli has sort of unlocked on this project from her past is an ability to really convey emotion through this mechanical pallet she builds her music with. She’s always had a level of passion within her music but outside of a youthful lust and an empowering “fuck everything” the rest of the emotions expressed always felt they were being viewed behind a protective sheet of plexiglass. Songs like “Backseat”, “Lucky” “Tears” and the sneakily genius “Track 10” really show an ability to bring more emotional depth in her songs. Whether it’s in mixtape form (Charli expresses she feels more freedom with mixtapes) or official LPs Charli is showing a growth and maturity in her craft that has me excited for what she may bring in the future.

Proof: Backseat (Feat. Carley Rae Jepson) / Out Of My Head (Feat. Tove Lo & ALMA)  / Unlock It (Feat. Kim Petras & Jay Park) / Track 10

22. Madeaux - Burn Genre: Electronic / Dance

I suggest a good stretch, being well hydrated and grabbing a towel before pressing play on this exhilarating whirlwind of melody calisthenics. The official debut LP from the American producer takes the listener of a dark, immersive experience in a world of non-stop kinetic energy and organized chaos. To all the critiques of Electronic music that say it all sounds the same I kindly point them to this album because there isn’t another producer making house music quite like this out there. Burn is a thrilling, fast-paced ride that doesn’t allow much space for the listener to take a breath until it’s finished. I suggest having a post-workout recovery shake handy for after.

Proof: Like A Model (Feat. Poter Elvinger & WILLS) / Run with It (Feat. Tommy Lee Sparta) / Lights Low (Feat. OG Maco, ALGORY & JRich ENT) / Sweat (Feat. Class Actress & Black Atlass)

21. Twin Shadow* - Caer Genre: Alternative / Indie Pop / R&B

Twin Shadow is an artist who has a recognizable, identifiable sound, yet every album of his also sounds different then the other. His debut, 2010s Forget is a disorienting, hazy dream. A unique mixture of R&B, Alternative music covered in haunting synths and distortions; all with an 80’s nostalgia. 2012’s Confess continues the foggy 80’s vernacular but with a more neon light piercing through. The pounding drums and scratchy guitar riffs are more attention grabbing, and the vocals more pronounced. 2015’s Eclipse was a bit of a statement piece. A whole project of stadium anthems meant to be shouted with vigor and emotion. Caer takes a step back on the arena filler to a more resemble the subtle tone of his debut. Except, the 80’s nostalgia isn’t such a driving factor. This is the project by Twin Shadow that sounds the most like the year it was created in, yet still sounds like any other beautiful Twin Shadow record. A natural progression by the versatile artist.

Proof: Saturdays (Feat. HAIM) / Sympathy (Feat. Rainsford) / When You’re Wrong / Too Many Colors

20. Santigold - I Don’t Want: The Gold Fire Sessions [Mixtape] Genre: Indie Pop / Dancehall

Impossible to be confined in one box, Santigold continues her genre hoping she’s made a career of. I Don’t Want is a dancehall inspired mixtape she worked on for the majority during a two week session with the main producer Dre Skull. By stripping the album moniker, there’s a looser and improvised feeling to the project that lends itself well to the culture it is inspired by. You feel Santigold’s admiration for the Afro-Caribbean influenced sound which makes the joy expressed on the album transparently genuine and infectious.

Proof: Run the Road / I Don’t Want / Why Me / Don’t Blame Me (Feat. Shenseea)

19. Matoma - One In a Million Genre: Electronic / House / Dance

Norwegian producer Matoma wants to cast a wide net with his sophomore album here. Both musically and audience-wise. One In A Million is an eclectic electronic music album that not only crosses sub-genres but crosses oceans with its worldly inspirations. From Synth-pop, to trap, to Tropical House, to Reggaeton, Matoma clearly wants to show off his range and diverse interests. One of the best songs of the year was the gospel inspired “Sunday Morning”. I dare anyone to know breakout in uncontrollable dancing when the bellowing hook of that song comes in.

Proof: Sunday Morning (Feat. Josie Dunne) / Lights Go Down (Feat. James Newman) / False Alarm (Feat. Becky Hill) / Heartbeats (Feat. Nina Nesbitt) // Bonus: Sunday Morning [Zookëper Remix] Feat. Josie Dunne

18. RÜFÜS DU SOL - SOLACE Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

When lead singer Tyrone croons for someone to take him to a new place on “New Sky” I can’t help but think “dude we already are somewhere new”. Because that’s exactly what the Australian trio’s atmospheric music does, whisks me away on a magic carpet of melodic keyboards, floating synths, pulsating drums and haunting vocal samples. Their previous album, Bloom was a breakthrough for them and their unassuming electronic music to a more worldwide audience. SOLACE takes an even more self-effacing and introspective approach, but should only help them continue to gain admirers.

Proof: New Sky / Lost in My Mind / No Place / Underwater

17. Nao - Saturn Genre: alt-R&B / Neo-Soul

The delicate voice of Nao returns with her smooth and tender sophomore album. Nao’s debut album For All We Know was one of my top five albums of 2016. Saturn picks up right where it’s predecessor left off but with a slight pumping of the breaks. Saturn take a bit more of a traditional R&B approach but in the same pallet Nao has been working on her whole career. The subtle infusion of electronic music still is present building an enthralling drama across the album. The slower tempo leads to a slightly more intimate feeling on this album then before. In the early 2000s R&B was sent to the margins a bit but with 2012’s House Of Balloons and channel.ORANGE being the inflection point R&B has been growing again in the mainstream. Artists like London’s Nao are in the forefront of R&B’s ascent.

Proof: Another Lifetime / Make It Out Alive (Feat. SiR) / Curiosity / Drive and Disconnect

16. Said The Sky - Wide-Eyed Genre: Electronic / Future Bass

American producer Said The Sky drops his first ever full length project that was a long time coming. For those familiar with his early work there is quite a progression from his more dubstep beginnings to this more melodic vernacular. Being a trained pianist Said The Sky’s backing usually starts with a piano riff. Early on this piano riff was used more as a contrasting element; a calming and tender character to then get smacked around by the boisterous and raucous dubstep. Now the piano is utilized more for it’s rhythm as the backbone of the track; a strong complimentary piece rather then contrasting. This is an evolution I personally feel for the better here leading to a sophisticated and potent electronic album, brooding with a surprising amount of emotion and introspection.

Proof: Show & Tell (Feat. Claire Ridgely) / All I Got (w/ Kwesi) / Over Getting Over You (Feat. Matthew Koma) / Superstar (w/ Dabin Feat. Linn)

15. My Brightest Diamond - A Million and One Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic / Indie Pop

Multi-Instrumentalist My Brightest Diamond has been a shapeshifter her entire career and that continues here with her fifth album. Starting out as a classically trained violinist and then self teaching herself more and more instruments and incorporating new genres in her sound every new project. For A Million and One she takes on Electronic/Dance music in a subtle and euphoric way. Most of the tracks are mid to slower tempo with free flowing synths and and 808 kicks. More dynamic moments are strategically planted throughout like the slow building “Champagne” or the explosive “Supernova”. A Million and One is an subtle, spectacle piece of electro-pop, that straps the listener in and shots them into the stars.

Proof: It’s Me On The Dance Floor / Champagne / Supernova / White Noise

14. Meg Myers* - Take Me To The Disco Genre: Alternative / Rock

I don’t really know how I happened upon Meg Myers music back in 2012, before her debut EP even was released, but I sure am grateful I did. Following the path of her career from that 2012 EP Daughter In The Choir to now has been quite rewarding. Every year new music has been released by Meg the project always is one of my favorites for the year, but Take Me To The Disco is finally her letting all the outside pressure and expectations go and just rocking the fuck out. Switching labels and making music separate from her long time producer Doctor Rosen Rosen, Meg had a newly found freedom on this record which led to a ride full of high, lows and moments of raw unfiltered emotion. Part of Meg’s unique skill when crafting a song is her ability to go from a soft, raspy and unassuming tone to a passion filled roar in seconds. The music knew when to follow suit as well with the main enclosures being acoustical and warm environments with alcoves of thunderous drums and crashing guitars. Whether it’s tranquil moment of vulnerability or impacting pockets of intensity and fierceness, Meg has a newly discovered level of confidence and power.

Proof: Numb / Tear Me To Pieces / Jealous Sea / Done

13. MØ - Forever Neverland Genre: Synth-Pop

For some, the ascension of MØ may have seemed pretty sudden. The mega success that was Major Lazer & DJ Snake’s “Lean On” featuring the Danish singer came a bit out of nowhere to some. I smuggly could say I predicted such an explosion since my introduction or her on Avicii’s “Dear Boy” followed up closely by her 2013 debut EP Bikini Daze. MØ didn’t feel a need to rush things despite the iron being hot as shit and took her time following up her 2014 full length album No Mythologies To Follow. Instead she dropped stellar one-off singles “Kamikaze” “Final Song” “Drum” and “Nights With You” before finally releasing last years EP When I Was Young. Forever Neverland continues on the maturity in her music desolated on her EP of last year. The hooks are still catchy as shit, her sound still has an ability to make you want to get up and move, but there is a further depth in her songs. MØ’s voice always was expressive and emotive but there was also a glossy surface layer that seems to have been stripped away over the years. She now has the confidence to let her voice scratch and wain a bit when a line carries more emotional weight. 

Proof: Way Down / I Want You / Beautiful Wreck / Red Wine (Feat. Empress Of)

12. Elohim - Elohim Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Dance

The mysterious Elohim has became a go-to collaborator for electronic music projects over the last few years. From Louis The Child, Oliver, Ekali, The Glitch Mob and others, Elohim’s name would pop up; usually on the album’s best track. Her soft and delicate voice always worked great as a juxtaposition to the often kinetic backgrounds. In her solo music, she is her own producer and she shows she is more than just a featured artist but also a contemporary to the other Electronic producers. Elohim is a diverse and incredibly dynamic piece, which surprises the listener with unexpected vocal samples or instrument riffs used in sophisticated ways. Whether is a mariachi horn, trumpet, violin, guitar, or just odd vocal cadences looped, Elohim has developed creative and unique techniques in her production that make a familiar yet singular sound.

Proof: The Wave / Sleepy Eyes (w/ Whethan) / Fuck Your Money / Half Love // Bonus: Eclipse / Connect (w/ Skrillex)

11. Fakear - All Glow Genre: Electronic / Future Bass

French producer Fakear is a newer discovery for me but boy and I glad I found his atmospheric electronic music. Fakear will be quickly compared to ODESZA and the similarities in their sounds are definitely apparent. However, the French DJ’s harmonious music has a bit more of an airy bounce, with some Tropical House infusion. The electronic genre is having a bit of a moment right now yet Fakear is still relatively not well know in the States. I don’t really see that lasting too long though as more find his music.

Proof: Something Wonderful (Feat. Ana Zimmer) / Lost In Time (Feat. Polo & Pan, Noraa & Clement Bazin) / Sacred Feminine (Feat. Ibrahim Maslouf) / Vision (Feat. Claire Laffut)

10. Pusha-T - DAYTONA Genre: Hip Hop

The Clipse debut album Lord Willin’ came out my freshman year of high school and was a very important album for me. Label issues unfortunately led to more mixtapes than albums released by the brother duo before Malice left the group. Luckily Pusha would eventually find himself on Kanye’s record label as his new home. His first two albums released on the record label were both good, but there must be something in the Wyoming air during the recording of this stellar album. As the first of five Kanye West produced albums released during the “Wyoming Sessions” no one really knew what to expect. Kanye’s erratic behavior leading up to the release left a lot of people side eyeing the whole group of projects. Then about 36 seconds into the opening track “If You Know You Know” when after a fiery verse from Pusha, the industrial beat drops, everyone gets an unexpected slap in the face. This is still one of the best producers in the world and we have one of the best lyricists rapping heat over this production. DAYTONA is quite the 20 minute tornado of an album. A focused and concise offering that does what it needs to do and leaves efficiently. Unfortunately, the rest of the “Wyoming Sessions” albums will be a bit of a mixed bag and Kanye’s erratic behavior on continues causing concern for his mental well being. DAYTONA shines bright as the most cohesive and sturdy of those albums with “If You Know You Know” being the best song to come from the whole session. With GRAMMY nominations and ending up at the top of many writers “Year End Lists” it’s time Pusha finally gets his shine Lord WIllin’ seemed to promise, only 16 years later.

Proof: If You Know You Know / The Games We Play / Come Back Baby / Santeria / Infrared

9. The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative / Synth-Pop

Through their first two albums, The 1975 was a band I enjoyed, but also wanted to enjoy more then I actually did. Their 2013 self titled debut album was an entertaining and engaging soiree of synth-pop and alternative music as a new aged love child of The Killers and My Chemical Romance. There was a definite growth and increased dexterity in their second album, 2016’s I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it, as the same influences are present but with a sprinkling of seduction and soul. What always took me out of their projects though was their abundance of influences often working against them. The projects missed a level of connectivity I desire. I appreciated the daring nature of the band to explore but some of those swings didn't feel fleshed out enough to connect completely in the context of the albums. When I first heard one of my favorite songs of 2018 “Love It If We Made It”, I thought something seemed different. It seems the band has finally discovered the missing ingredient; or maybe found the excess ingredient(s) to leave out. A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships is a masterful mixture of experiences and influences with a message really cemented in 2018. The experimentations are a bit more radical, but very strategic and only help build up the motif of the whole album. You can still hear the underlying emo-rockers heartbeat from their debut but this time ran through a Bon Iver inspired auto-tune. The themes of how technology can dictate our lives for better or worse give the whole album a context for any listener to identify with. Songs like “Settle Down” and “Somebody Else” from their first two albums were still in 2018 go-to songs for me; the talent was always there. Seeing the band develop and evolve to make this elaborate project is quite the feat to be respected and admired.

Proof: Give Yourself A Try / Love It If We Made It / I Like America & America Likes Me / Sincerity Is Scary / It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)

8. 3LAU - Ultraviolet / Ultraviolet (Remixed) Genre: Electronic / Progressive House / Dance

It’s been a long time coming for American DJ 3LAU (Justin David Blau) to finally release this blistering debut. First winning a remix competition for a Tiësto song in 2011, 3LAU made a name for himself over the years as a remix and mashup DJ; intermittently dropping one-off singles here and there. Ultraviolet shows the wait was well worth it. Being a multi-instrumentalist, 3LAU developed his own manipulation techniques of his instrument riffs and vocal samples creating lush melodic environments within his music. The result is a picturesque form of house music that can easily whisk you away in it’s vast, sparkling habitats.

Proof: Touch (Feat. Carly Paige) / Fire (w/ Said The Sky Feat. NÉONHÈART) / Walk Away (Feat. Luna Aura) / Star Crossed / You Want More (Feat. MAX) // Touch [Zeds Dead Remix] (Feat. Carly Paige) / On My Own [3LAU Electro Remix] (Feat. Nevve) / Star Crossed [3LAU DnB Remix] / Walk Away [Hibell Remix] (Feat. Luna Aura) / Fire [Paris Biohm Remix] (w/ Said The Sky Feat. NÉONHÈART)

7. Lykke Li - so sad so sexy Genre: Pop / R&B

Since her debut album in 2008, the vulnerable music of Lykke Li has been a staple in my headphones. I have enjoyed her delicate voice, always ripped with so much emotion matching the impacting lyrics dealing with love and heartbreak. Li’s previous album, I Never Learn was an onslaught of slow and gorgeous, stadium-pop ballads meant to be felt while singing along with at the top of your lungs. The listless themes are continued but this time the album’s expression is more with a glossy, sexy R&B persona; a change I personally am really feeling. With hints of The Weeknd and Rihanna as influences so sad so sexy is Lykke Li’s most sensual sound, one that suits her unique voice and songwriting well.

Proof: hard rain / deep end / sex money feelings die / so sad so sexy / better alone

6. Her - Her Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock/ Soul

Starring an upcoming tragedy in the face, the smooth French duo didn’t waiver or turn to negativity. Instead they focused on life and love. With one of the duo diagnosed with a terminal cancer, together Victor and the ill Simon carefully plotted out their debut album. They released two EPs the previous two years with standout tracks including “Five Minutes”, “Quite Like” and “Swim” which served as a strong introduction to the world, but Simons unavoidable death at age 27 was in August of last year. With the careful pre-planning Victor was able to finish the debut album in his best friend’s memory. Her is a sultry and warm affair. Simon’s bouncy guitar playing, Victors ominous key tones with both of their soft yet confident vocals create a free flowing and sexy sound that is very gracious and admiring of its female muse. Every song has an understatedness to it while it subtly exudes its passion. It’s unknown if Victor will carry on with Her without his best friend, but I am glad they were able to add this exclamation point to Simon’s life.

Proof: Five Minutes / Blossom Roses / Neighborhood / Wanna Be You / Swim (Feat. ZéFire)

5. Bishop Briggs* - Church Of Scars Genre: R&B / Soul / Pop

London born, with Scottish heritage, Bishop Briggs bursts on the scene with this debut album like a strategic boxer. Starting every song with subtle body blows to connect with a potent haymaker every chorus. Her main weapon is a dominant voice that every chorus she lets loose to acts as an imposing yet engaging flex of emotion and power. Born Sarah McLaughlin, Briggs took the name of her parents Scotland hometown as her stage name to not be confused with the well known Canadian singer whose music you hear on sad commercials about puppies. McLaughlin moved around in her childhood from London to Tokyo to Hong Kong to LA and has picked up an amalgamation of influences to use at her disposal in her music. One of the biggest musical influence apparent is her cerebral use of gospel music. Utilized as a form of strength and command at every hard hitting chorus drop which gives room for her tremendous voice to punch your ear drums like a boxing bag.

Proof: Tempt My Trouble / White Flag / River / Hallowed Ground / The Fire

4. DJDS - Big Wave More Fire Genre: Synth-Pop / R&B / Electronic

Timing can be a fickle thing. Sometimes by the slimmest of margins it can go against you, or go in your favor. DJDS’s career seems to be capitalizing on some impeccable timing that is all going in their favor at the moment. First, back in 2016, while finishing up their sophomore album, the LA producing duo were invited to work on Kanye West’s The Life of Pablo album; eventually earning them a GRAMMY nomination. This monster co-sign would help open doors they never had open in their previous years making music. In the two years they spent making this album they collaborated with people that eventually would break out on their own including Empress Of, Amber Mark, Marco McKinnis and Khalid. Those two years are summed up in this fascinating piece of genre blending music. There are moments of bouncy hip hop, sinuous Synth-Pop, Soulful R&B, scenic Indie Pop and fist pumping electronic dance.  Big Wave More Fire at times is as infectious as any other pop album and at times can be a bit artistically challenging to the listener, yet never loses its strong sense of place.

Proof: Trees On Fire (Feat. Amber Mark & Marco McKinnis) / Why Don’t You Come On (Feat. Empress Of & Khalid) / I Get By (Feat. Amber Mark & Vory) / Pick Me Up (Feat. Kelly Zutrau, Vic Mensa & Vory) / Falling (Kelly Zutrau & Marco McKinnis)

3. Kasbo* - Places We Don’t Know Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Future Bass

ODESZA is building quite a roster on their Foreign Family Collective label including the 23 year old Swedish producer Kasbo. With his debut album here, Kasbo shows he’s more than deserving of being part of this collective with this sonic display of dexterity in melody. Places We Don’t Know is an an album that knows it’s comfort zone and is confident enough to never deviate while also avoiding diluting itself. The glossy electronic textiles that stitch the album together track to track build a cohesiveness that makes it a front to back enjoyable experience; without any drop in quality filler. More exploration in the sound may be desired in future releases to avoid sounding stale, but in terms of a debut this pleasant project introduces him nicely.

Proof: Your Tempo / Aldrig Mer (Feat. TENDER) / Roots (Feat. Amanda Fondell) / Over You (Feat. Frida Sundemo) / Bleed It Out (Feat. Nea)

2. Jacob Banks* - Village Genre: R&B / Soul

The initial and most jarring entity you feel when you enter the universe that is Jacob Banks’ music is the gravitational pull that is his empowered voice. The British singer’s raspy and authoritative vocals can relay both a confident strength and introspective vulnerability in one tone. You are able to personally feel the emotion behind every note that leads to a compelling listen no matter how many times before you’ve heard the song playing.

Banks backs up his mighty voice with equally potent and diverse backings. Some of the songs come equipped with thunderous bass lines and percussions with light keys tap dancing among the turmoil. Some take a more straightforward approach with light and jazzy horns and funky grooves. Then some songs have transparent backdrops that almost go away completely, stripped down to a bare pallet for Jacob to command.

Whatever the situation Banks’ vocal prowess prevails. I predict the accent to continue and at a more exponential pace as more become familiar with the impressive singer.

Proof: Chainsmoking / Love Ain’t Enough / Prosecco / Be Good To Me (Feat. Seinabo Sey) / Unknown (To You)

1 Kendrick Lamar & Top Dawg Entertainment - Black Panther The Album - Music From And Inspired By [Motion Picture Soundtrack] Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

It’s probably getting pretty anticlimactic having Kendrick 1st or 2nd on my lists every year. But for the fourth year in a row Kendrick finds himself here again. Black Panther was one of 2018’s greatest cinematic achievements and smartly they looked to Kendrick to make a vivid and dynamic soundtrack to match.

Kendrick shows he has his finger on the pulse for Hip Hop and R&B in 2018 enlisting some of today’s best including The Weeknd, Vince Staples, Anderson .Paak, Travis Scott and of course members of his TDE crew ScHoolboy Q, Ab-Soul, SZA and others. He grabs some of today’s best up and comers with Khalid, Jorja Smith and SOB X RBE. Surprises us with a couple unexpected James Blake features. And finds some new international artists not very well known in Saudi, Babes Wodumo and an absolute fire verse from Yungen Blakrok.

I cannot express how perfect of a curated Soundtrack this is. The music is diverse enough to cast a wide net but also has an underlying and unifying vernacular throughout to make one cohesive project. The production is rooted in African sounds with poly-rhythmic percussion and themes inspired by African ancestry as well as themes incorporated from the movie itself. Kendrick may or may not have been physically there during most of these recordings but you can feel his direction and influence throughout. His impact is not overpowering or controlling either but rather a supportive and inspiring collaborator that keeps the various ships steered in the correct converging direction. When a o-k but also phoned-in verse by Future is really the album’s low point, you know you’ve done something right.

Most may point to the crowd pleasing (and for good reason) songs like “All The Stars” with SZA and “Pray For Me” with The Weeknd as their album highlights but mine is the sneaky vigorous Vince Staples and Yung Blakrok featured “Opps”, that has quite the bite with it’s bark.

My admiration for Lamar is well documents on this blog. He really is controlling the way progressive and impacting hip hop can grow. Drake may have the numbers, but Kendrick is the more commanding artistic virtuoso making music in 2018. Kendrick knows it damn well and uses T’Calla as a metaphor for his spot on the throne of Hip Hop in the album opener: “Because the king don’t cry, king don’t die, king don’t lie, king give heart, king get by, king don’t fall. Kingdom come, when I come, you know why…”

Proof: Kendrick Lamar & SZA - All The Stars / ScHoolboy Q, 2 Chainz, Saudi & Kendrick Lamar - X / Khalid & Swae Lee - The Ways / Vince Staples, Yugen Blakrok & Kendrick Lamar - Opps / Jorja Smith - I Am / Ab-Soul, Anderson .Paak & James Blake - Bloody Waters / Zacari & Babes Wodumo - Redemption / The Weeknd & Kendrick Lamar - Pray For Me

Others:

Good:

Above & Beyond - Common Ground, Action Bronson - White Bronco, Albin Lee Meldau - About You, Alessia Cara - The Pains of Growing, Allan Rayman - Harry Hand-On, alt-J - Reduxer, Ambrose Akinmusire - Origami Harvest, Aminé - ONEPOINTFIVE [Mixtape], Amnesia Scanner - Another Life, anaïs - before zero, Anderson East - Encore, Anderson .Paak - Oxnard, Ann Marie - Tripolar, Anne-Marie - Speak Your Mind, Apollo Brown & Joell Ortiz - Mona Lisa, Apollo Brown & Locksmith - No Question, Aquilo - ii, Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Baseu Hotel & Casino, Ariana Grande - Sweetener, A$AP Rocky - TESTING, Atmosphere - Mi Vida Loca, Audio Push - Cloud 909, August Greene - August Greene, Ava Luna - Moon 2, Bad Gyal - Worldwide Angel, Bas - Milky Way, Bazzi - COSMIC, Bea Miller - Aurora, Beach House - 7, Beacon - Gravity Pairs, Bebe Rexha - Expectations, Bekon - Get With The Times, Belly - IMMIGRANT, Big Red Machine - Big Red Machine, Birdman & Jacquees - Lost at Sea 2, Bishop Nehru - Elevators: Act I & II, Bishop Nehru - Emperor’s Nehru Groove [Mixtape], Black Atlass - Pain & Pleasure, The Black Eyed Peas - MASTERS OF THE SUN VOL. 1, Black Milk - FEVER, Black Thought & Salaam Remi - Streams of Thought Vol. 2, The Blaze - DANCEHALL, 6LACK - East Atlanta Love Letter, Blood Orange - Negro Swan, Blu & Nottz - Gods in the Spirit, Titans In The Flesh, B.o.B. - NAGA, Bob Moses - Battle Lines, Bobby V - Electrik, Boogie wit da Hoodie - International Artist, BØRNS - Blue Madonna, Boy Pablo - Soy Pablo, The Breeders - All Nerve, Brez - The Grl., BROCKHAMPTON - iridescence, BROCKHAMPTION - Saturation III, Buddy - Harlan & Alondra, Bun B - Return if the Trill, Camila Cabello - Camila, Camp Cope - How To Socialize & Make Friends, Capital Cities - Solarize, Car Seat Headrest - Twin Fantasy, THE CARTERS (Jay-Z & Beyoncé) - EVERYTHING IS LOVE, Cardi B - Invasion Of Privacy, Cat Power - Wanderer, City Girls - Girl Code, City Girls - PERIOD, Chance The Rapper & Jeremih - Merry Christmas Lil’ Mama Re-Wrapped [Mixtape], Chanti Darling - RNB, Vol. 1, Charlie Puth - Voicenotes, Chelsea Jade - Personal Best, Choker - Honeybloom, Chromeo - Head Over Heels, Chris Dave and the Drumhedz - Chris Dave and the Drumhedz, Christina Aguilera - Liberation, Christine and the Queens - Chris, Chrome Sparks - Chrome Sparks, Claptone - Fantast, Clean Bandit - What Is Love?, Cloud Nothings - Last Building Burning, CloZee - EVasion, Col3trane - BOOT, Courtney Barnett - Tell Me How You Really Feel, Cozz - Effected, Craig David - The Time Is Now, Curren$y, Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist - Fetti, Cut Chemist - Die Cut, Cypress Hill - Elephants on Acid, CZARFACE & MF Doom - CZARFACE Meets Metal Face, Dashboard Confessional - Crooked Shadows, Dave East - P2, David Guetta - 7, Death Cab for Cutie - Thank You for Today, The Decemberists - I’ll Be Your Girl, Denzel Curry - TA13OO, Dillon Francis - WUT WUT, The Diplomats - Diplomatic Ties, Dirty Projectors - Limp Lit Prose, DJ Critical Hype - The DAMN. Chronic [Mixtape], DJ ESCO - Kolorblind, DJ Luke Nasty - Cruise Control, DJ Koze - Knock Knock, DJ Mustard & RJmrLA - The Ghetto, Django Django - Marble Skies, Dr. Octagon - Moosebumps: An Exploration Into Modern Day Horripilation, Domo Genesis & Evidence - Aren’t You Glad You’re U [Mixtape], Drake - Scorpion, Durand Jones & The Indications - Durand Jones & The Indications, Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs, E^ST - Life Ain’t Always Roses, EDEN - virtigo, Eligh - Last House on the Block, Elephante - Glass Mansion, Elephante - Glass Mansion Remixes, Ella Mai - Ella Mai, Elley Duhé - DRAGON MENTALITY, Emily Warren - Quiet Your Mind, Eric Bellinger - Eazy Call, Estelle - Lovers Rock, Everything Is Recorded - Everything Is Recorded, Evidence - Weather or Not, Excision - Apex, Exitmusic - The Recognitions, E-40 & B-Legit - Connected and Respected, E-40 - Gift Of Gab, Family of the Year - Goodbye Sunshine, Hello Nighttime, Father John Misty - God’s Favorite Customer, Fat Tony & J.KELR - Full Circle, Felix Jaehn - I, FELIX SANDMAN - EMOTIONS, Fischerspooner - Sir, First Aid Kit - Ruins, Flatbush Zombies - Vacation In Hell, Florence + The Machine - High As Hope, Francis & The Lights - Just For Us, Franz Ferdinand - Always Ascending, Freddie Gibbs - Freddie, Fre$h - frēsh•ism, Future & Juice WRLD - Future & Juice WRLD Present… WRLD ON DRUGS, G-Eazy - The Beautiful & Damned, Getter - Visceral, Ghostface Killah - The Lost Tapes, The Glitch Mob - See Without Eyes, The Go! Team - SEMICIRCLE, The Good, The Bad & The Queen - Merrie Land, Gorgon City - Escape, Gorillaz - The Now Now, Greta Van Fleet - Anthem of the Peaceful Army, GRIP - PORCH, Gunplay - ACTIVE, Half Waif - Lavender, Hinds - I Don’t Run, Hollie Cook - Vessel of Love, HONNE - Love Me / Love Me Not, How To Dress Well - The Anteroom, Hovvdy - Cranberry, Hybrid - Light of the Fearless, Ice Cube - Everything Corrupt, IDK - IDK & Friends :), Illa J - John Yancey, Illenium - Awake (Remixes), I’m With Her - See You Around, Imagine Dragons - Origins, The Internet - Hive Mind, Interpol - Marauderm, J. Cole - KOD, Jackie Hill Perry - Crescendo, Jacquees - 4275, Jacques Greene - mixtape [Mixtape], Jade Novah - All Blue, Jaden Smith - The Sunset Tapes: A Cool Tape Story [Mixtape], Jain - Souldier, James Bay - Electric Light, Janine - 99, Janine The Machine - High Places, Jauz - The Wise and The Wicked, Jay Park - Ask Bout Me, Jay Rock - Redemption, Jean Deaux - Krash, Jedi Mind Tricks - The Bridge and the Abyss, Jeff Tweedy - WARM, Jericho Jackson - Khrysis & Elzhi are Jericho Jackson, Jess Glynne - Always In Between, Jessie Reyez - Being Human In Public, Jim Jones - Wasted Talent, Joey Purp - QUARTERTHING, Jonas Blue - Blue, Jorja Smith - Lost & Found, Juice WRLD - Goodbye & Good Riddance, Jungle - For Ever, Justin Timberlake - Man of The Woods, Justine Skye - ULTRAVIOLET, Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour, Kalin White - Why You Still There?, Kamasi Washington - Heaven and Earth, Kanye West - ye, Kash Doll - Brat Mail [Mixtape], Kayzo - OVERLOAD, Keith Sweat - Playing For Keeps, Kevin Gate - Luca Brasi 3, Keys N Krates - Cura, K.Flay - Everywhere is Somewhere, KIDS SEE GHOSTS (Kanye West & Kid Cudi) - KIDS SEE GHOSTS, Kimbra - Primal Heart, King Tuff - The Other, Kirk Knight - IIWII, The Knocks - New York Narcotics, Kodaline - Politics of Living, Kodie Shane - Young HeartThrob, Kooley High - Never Come Down, The Kooks - Let’s Go Sunshine, KR - In Due Time, Kygo - Kids In Love (Remixes), KYLE - Light of Mine, Lacrae & Zaytoven - Let The Trap Say Amen, Lake Street Drive - Free Yourself Up, Lane 8 - Little By Little, LANY - Malibu Nights, LAUREL - DOGVIOLET, Lauv - I met you when I was 18. (the playlist), Leikeli47 - Acrylic, Lenny Kravitz - Raise Vibration, Leon Bridges - Good Thing, Let’s Eat Grandma - I’m All Ears, Lily Allen - No Shame, Lil Peep - Come Over When You’re Sober, Pt. 2, Lil Wayne - The Carter V, Lissie - Castles, Little Mix - LM5, Lo Moon - Lo Moon, Logic - Bobby Tarantino II [Mixtape], Loyd - Tru LP, LP - Heart to Mouth, Lucy Dacus - Historian, Lupe Fiasco - DRAGOS WAVE, Lyrics Born - Quite A Life, Mac Miller - Swimming, MAJOR. - Even More, Major Lazer - Afrobeats [DJ Mix], Mariah Carey - Caution, Mario - Dancing Shadows, Marion Hill - Unusual, Marsha Ambrosius - Nyla, Marshmello - Joytime II, Masego - Lady Lady, Masta Ace & Marco Polo - A Breukelen Story, Matthew Dear - Bunny, Mayorkum - The Mayor of Lagos, Medasin - Irene, Meek Mill - Championship, Melody’s Echo Chamber - Bon Voyage, Meshell Ndegeocello - Ventriloquism, Method Man - Meth Lab 2: The Lithium, Metric - Art of Doubt, MGMT - Little Dark Age, Mick Jenkins - Pieces of a Man, The Midnight - Kid, Migos - Culture II, MihTy - MIH-TY, Mike Shinoda - Post Traumatic, Mike WiLL Made-It - Creed II: The Album (Music Inspired by the Motion Picture), Mikky Ekko - FAME, Mimicking Birds - Layers Of Us, Mirah - Understanding, Mitski - Be The Cowboy, Miyah Folick - Premenitions, Moon Taxi - Let The Record Play, Morgan Saint - ALIEN, Mr Eazi - Life Is Eazi, Vol. 2 - Lagos to London, Mulatto - Mulatto, Mumford & Sons - Delta, Murs - A Strange Journey Into The Unimaginable, Muse - Simulation Theory, Myá - T.K.O. (The Knock Out), The Naked and Famous - A Still Heart, Nas - NASIR, Natalie Prass - The Future and the Past, Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats - Tearing at the Seams, Nef The Pharaoh - The Big Chang Theory, The Neighbourhood - The Neighbourhood, Ne-Yo - GOOD MAN, N.E.R.D. - NO_ONE EVER REALLY DIES, Nick Grant - Dreamin’ Out Loud [Mixtape], Nicki Minaj - Queen, NIKI - Zephyr, Nile Rodgers & CHIC - It’s About Time, Nipsey Hussle - Victory Lap, NJOMZA - Vacation, nobigdyl. - SOLAR, Noname - Room 25, N.O.R.E. - 5E, Now, Now - Saved, NR - Before It’s Too Late, ODIE - Analogue, Onra - Nobody Has To Know, Ookay - WOW! COOL ALBUM!, Pac Div - 1st Baptist, Pale Waves - My Mind Makes Noises, Passenger - Runaway, Parliament - Medicaid Fraud Dogg, Parquet Courts - Wide Awake!, Paul McCartney - Egypt Station, Paul Simon - In the Blue Light, Penelope Trappes - Penelope Two, A Perfect Circle - Eat the Elephant, Peter Bjorn and John - Darker Days, Phonte - No News Is Good News, Phony Ppl - mō’zā-ik, Phora - Love Is Hell, P-LO - PRIME, pluko - sixteen, Poo Bear - Poo Bear Presents: Birthday Music, Popcaan - Forever, Poppy - Am I A Girl?, Porches - The House, Post Malone - beerbongs & bentleys, Preme - Light of Day, Prince - Piano & a Microphone 1983, Princess Nokia - A Girl Cried Red [Mixtape], Prolifgate - Somewhere Else, PRyhme - PRhyme 2, Quavo - Quavo Huncho, Ralph - A Good Girl, RAY BLK - Empress, Rhye - Blood, Reason - There You Have It, R3HAB - The Wave, Rezz - Certain Kind of Magic, Rich Brian - Amen, Rita Ora - Phoenix, RL Grime - NOVA, RL Grimes - NOVA (The Remixes, Vol. 1),  RL Grimes - NOVA (The Remixes, Vol. 2), Robyn - Honey, Rome Fortune - Beautiful Pimp 3, ROOSEVELT - Young Romance, Royce Da 5’9” - Book of Ryan, R+R=NOW - Collagically Speaking, Russ - ZOO, Ryan Beatty - Boy In Jeans, Saba - CARE FOR ME, Sabrina Calaudio - No Rain, No Flowers, St. Beauty - Running To The Sun, SAINt JHN - Collection One, San Holo - album1, Sango - In The Comfort Of, Sean Paul - Mad Love: The Prequel, Shamir - Revelation, Sheppard - Watch The Sky, Shopping - The Official Body, Sidney Gish - No Dogs Allowed, Sigala - Brighter Days, Simian Mobile Disco - Murmurations, SiR - November, SKYGGE - Hello World, Skyzoo - In Celebration of Us, Slushii - DREAM, Smashing Pumpkins - SHINY AND OH SO BRIGHT, VOL. 1 / NO PAST. NO FUTURE., Smino - NOIR, Snail Mail - Lush, S’natra - Subject To Change, Snoop Dogg - Snoop Dogg Presents Bible of Love, Snow Patrol - Wildness, Soccer Mommy - Clean, Sofi Tukker - Treehouse, Son Lux - Brighter Wounds, SOPHIE - OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES, Starchild & The New Romantic - Language, Stefflon Don - SECURE [Mixtape], Steve Angello - Human, Steve Aoki - Neon Future III, Steve Hauschildt - Dissolvi, Stonie Blue - Blood Y Moi [Mix], Stro - Nice 2 Meet You, Again, Styles P - Dime Bag, Styles P - G-Host, Summer Walker - Last Day of Summer, Summerella - First Day of Summer, Surpentwithfeet - soil, Swearin’ - Fall Into The Sun, Swizz Beatz - POISON, Tamia - Passion Like Fire, Tammy Rivera - Fate, Teyana Taylor - K.T.S.E., Thatshymn - Pacific Standard Time, Thunderpussy - Thunderpussy, T.I. - DIME TRAP, Tinashe - Joyride, The Ting Tings - The Black Light, Tirzah - Devotion, Tokyo Jetz - Bonafide, Tokyo Police Club - TCP, Tom Misch - Geography, Tommy Genesis - Tommy Genesis, Toni Braxton - Sex & Cigarettes, Toni Romiti - Tomboy, Tory Lanez - LoVE me NOw, Tory Lanez - MEMORIES DON’T DIE, Towkio - WWW., Tracey Thorn - Record, Traci Braxton - On Earth, Travis Scott - ASTROWORLD, Trevor Jackson - Rough Drafts, Pt. 1, Trevor Powers - Mulberry Violence, Trey Songz - 11 [Mixtape], Trey Songz - 28 [Mixtape], TroyBoi - V!BEZ, Vol. 2, Troye Sivan - Bloom, Tunde Olaniran - Stranger, tune-yards - i can feel you creep into my private life, Two Feet - A 20 Something Fuck, Tyga - Kyoto, Unknown Mortal Orchestra - Sex & Food, Until The Ribbon Breaks - Until The Ribbon Breaks, Usher & Zaytoven - “A”, UZ - The Rebirth, The Vamps - Day & Night (Day Edition), Vance Joy - Nation Of Two, Various Artists - Fifty Shades Freed [Motion Picture Soundtrack], Various Artists - Ninjawerks, Vol. 1, Various Artists - Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (Soundtrack From & Inspired by the Motion Picture), Various Artist - Uncle Drew [Original Motion Picture Soundtrack], Vicktor Taiwò - First Movement, Victoria Monet - Life After Love, Pt. 1, Victor Oladipo - V.O., Wild Nothing - Indigo, What So Not - Not All The Beautiful Things, Wet - Still Run, Wiz Khalifa - Rolling Papers 2, The Wombats - Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life, WSTRN - DOU3LE 3AK, Xzibit, B-Real & Demrick - Serial Killers: Day of the Dead, Years & Years - Palo Santo, Yellow Claw - New Blood, YG - STAY DANGEROUS, Yhung T.O. - Trust Issues, Young Fathers - Cocoa Sugar, Young The Giant - Mirror Master, Youngr - This Is Not An Album, ZAYN - Icarus Fall, Ziggy Marley - Rebellion Rises, Zion I - Ritual Mystik, Zion I & DJ Fresh - The Tonight Show [Mixtape], ZHU - Ringo’s Desert, Z-Ro - Sadism, 5 Seconds of Summer - Youngblood, 88GLAM - 88GLAM2, 88rising - Head in the Clouds 

Meh:

Ace Hood - Trust The Process II: Undefeated, Amen Dunes - Freedom, Animal Collective - Tangerine Reef, AWALNATION - Here Comes The Runts, BANDGANG - In Too Deep, Benny - Different, Caitlyn Smith - Starfire, Carnage - Battered Bruised & Bloody, The Chainsmokers - Sick Boy, cupcakKe - Eden, cupcakKe - Ephorize, Curren$y - Parking Lot Music, Curren$y & Harry Fraud - The Marina, Daughters - You Won’t Get What You Want, Dave East - Karma 2, Dave Matthews Band - Come Tomorrow, DJ Critical Hype - More 9th (Drake & 9th Wonder Mash Up), DOM KENNEDY - Volume Two, Don Toliver - Donny Womback, Eminem - Kamaze, Fetty Wap - For My Fans, Fetty Wap - Bruce Wayne, Frankie Cosmos - Vessels, Future - BEASTMODE 2, G Herbo & Southside - Swervo, Ganja White Night - The Origins, Helena Hauff - Qualm, Hop Along - Bark Your Head Off, Dog, HUNCHO JACK (Travis Scott & Quavo) - HUNCHO JACK, Jack Huncho, Jean Grae & Quelle Chris - Everything’s Fine, Jeezy - Pressure, Keith Ape - BORN AGAIN, Kevin George - Hopeless Romantic, Larry June - Very Peaceful, Lil Durk - Just Cause Y’all Waited, Lil Pete - 4EverFocused, Lucis - Nude, MadeinTYO - Sincerely, Tokyo, Metro Boomin - NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES, Matt and Kim - Almost Everyday, MGMT - Little Dark Age (Matthew Dear Album Remixes), MIKE - Black Soup [Mixtape], Mr Twin Sister - Salt, Nightmares On Wax - Shape the Future, OSHUN - Bittersweet, Vol. 1, Owl City - Cinematic, Palm - Rock Island, Prof - Pookie Baby, Raury - The Woods, Rae Sremmurd - SR3MM, Red Cafe - Less Talk More Hustle, Reese LAFLARE - Reese LAFLARE, Rich The Kid - The World Is Yours, Rico Nasty - Nasty, SHIRT - Pure Beauty, Shy Boys - Bell House, Slim Thug - The World Is Yours, Slum Village - The Lost Scrolls, Vol. 2 [Mixtape], Social Club Misfits - Into The Night, Steve Perry - Traces, Takeoff - The Last Rocket, Too $hort - The Sex Tape Playlist, Trae Tha Truth - Hometown Hero, Various Artists - Future Presents: SUPERFLY (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Various Artists - 9th Wonder Presents: Jamla is the Squad II, We The King’s - Six, Westside Gunn - Supreme Blientele, Wifisfuneral - Ethernet, Yves Tumor - Safe In the Hands of Love, Zaytoven - Trapholizay, 03 Greedo - God Level, 24hrs - HOUSES ON THE HILL

Bad:

Eminem - Revival, Jack White - Boarding House Reach, Kay! & Kenny Beats - 777, Lil Baby - Harder Then Ever, Quintin Miller - Q.M., Sheck Wes - MUDBOY, Starlito - At WAR With Myself Too, Trouble & Mike WiLL Made-It - Edgewood [Mixtape]

helo it is me nai!!! sry fr the mix up i actually dropped bradley bt she was my main acct so i had to move lana over as my main n therefore it jst seemed easier to repost my intro so i’d have it here. ANYWAY! more abt this atrocious thot down below

p.s. her pinterest is here if u like that stuff

( nai. 22. gmt. she/her. ) it might be HER SOPHOMORE year but I still think LANA JAMESON looks exactly like KRISTINE FROSETH and sometimes I think the CIS-FEMALE is actually them. Of course I’m wrong, as they’re 22 and studying DANCE while living in AUDAX here at Lockwood. The GEMINI can be rather EXUBERANT and ALLURING, but also kind of CHILDISH and UNRELIABLE. Their most played song on Spotify was DANCING ON MY OWN by ROBYN, so I think that says a lot.

she’s local to the NY area i jst havent decided where exactly she grew up tbh. probably somewhere upstate

okAY so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few rly big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque, lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets, pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, fishnet tights n glitter galore) n bc she’s undeniably Very Pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him regardless. bt THEN he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew Everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

ANYWAY so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. in fact she’s so… shameless in her endeavours tht she’s actually currently having an affair w her ballet instructor tanya who’s engaged to b married

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. KGJDKGJH

PERSONALITY/SOME FUN FACTS: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost ALWAYS has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

PLOT IDEAS: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? OH and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. HONESTLY?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. Let’s Get Wildt!

A-Z BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

I’ve seen a few of these lists floating around as per @macrolit‘s idea (you can find their original post here) and obviously I had to spend the past few hours compiling a list of my own. It’s definitely harder than it looks! I was trying to go for some less obvious choices while also paying homage to all the books that have struck a chord with me, but I must admit I had to cheat a little by including a few titles from my TBR pile. In my defense, I have an excellent feeling about all of these – plus, what better motivation to finally get started on reading them? (If only grad school weren’t in the way... but a girl can still dream.)

A - Atonement by Ian McEwan (2001)

A superbly well-written and incredibly touching novel, featuring one of the children characters I’ve related to the most in my reading life. (Yes, I relate to Briony! Not for what she does, of course, but the way she experiences and describes the world is just so so familiar to me.)

B - The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz (2007)

I think I’m still a little heartbroken over this one. It wasn’t always perfect, but it’s stayed with me in a way that other books I’ve read in the past few years haven’t. Plus, I still can’t get over a narrator using footnotes to explain historical details about the Dominican Republic. If you’ve read Díaz before, you’ll definitely fall for Yunior’s voice all over again. And if you haven’t, what are you waiting for?

C - La casa de los espíritus (The House of the Spirits) by Isabel Allende (1982)

I already got one for H (this list was not compiled in alphabetical order) so I’m “cheating” by using the title in the original language (which is also the one I read it in).

D - Du côté de chez Swann (The Way by Swann’s) by Marcel Proust (1913)

...because lately I’ve been mildly (she says) obsessed with Proust and you should be too <3 This is the first volume in the monumental In Search of Lost Time. I went in knowing hardly anything about it other than ~Proust~ and was incredibly surprised by how accessible it was. (If you’re still feeling intimidated, I definitely recommend reading Alain de Botton’s How Proust Can Change Your Life to help break the ice!)

E - Emplumada by Lorna Dee Cervantes (1981)

A poetry collection by the author on whom I wrote my bachelor’s thesis. Lorna Dee Cervantes writes about growing up as a working-class Chicana in the U.S. Southwest. In her poems as in her life, gender, race, and class intersect to make up the experience of a powerful woman and gifted poet who uses incredibly lyrical language.

F - Free Enterprise: A Novel of Mary Ellen Pleasant by Michelle Cliff (1993)

Now, if you want some good, kickass, well-researched alternative historiography featuring Black historical lady figures, then this is the book for you. It’s an account (fictional, yes, but in no way less significant than the ‘authorized’ history) of John Brown’s raid on Harpers Ferry and the women that took part in it (for non-U.S. readers, John Brown was a white abolitionist who tried to start an armed slave revolt). One of those women was Mary Ellen Pleasant, a black woman and entrepreneur who helped fund John Brown’s raid. So, yep, you should definitely get to this one straight away. It’s not the most accessible kind of writing because it moves across time, space, and characters, but if you pay enough attention you’ll have no problem following it until the end, and you’ll be immensely enriched because of it. <3

G - The Good Soldier by Ford Madox Ford (1915)

This is the saddest story I have ever heard. That’s the first line of the book, by the way. If you like unreliable narrators and morally-dubious characters, you’ll definitely enjoy this one.

H - Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (2006)

Adichie is very well known right now because of her booklet We Should All Be Feminists (and with good reason), but this is the one that made me fall in love with her. I don’t even remember what led me to buying this book when I basically knew nothing about her, but I’m so glad I did. I love historical fiction and this novel about the Biafran War just broke my heart in all the right places. One of my best on-a-whim purchases.

I - If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (2017)

This is one of the latest books I’ve read but more importantly one I’ve been excited to read for at least two years. The stakes were high but wow, did it deliver. It’s been marketed as a mystery/literary thriller but I get the feeling that this kind of description could turn away readers who are not into mysteries but who would have plenty of other reasons to enjoy this novel. Yes, there is a mystery (and the pacing is excellent!) but the story is really about the characters, who are really well-developed. Rio ( @m-l-rio) has the incredible ability to set a scene with great economy of words and make each of them count. And, oh, that ending was absolutely perfect.

(Special mention: If This Is a Man by Primo Levi.)

J - Jacques the Fatalist and his Master by Denis Diderot (1796)

A novel about subverting the reader’s expectations (and I mean that). I read this one some 6 years ago but I still think about it as one of the funniest novels (or non-novels?) I’ve ever read and I can’t wait to read it again one day. It gets very, very meta and I remember lots of (subtle or not-so-subtle) criticism on the art of the novel as practised by Diderot’s contemporaries.

(Special mention: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. Because, do I even need to explain? <3)

K - To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (1960)

Well, this one is a bit obvious. Didn’t have a lot of K-titles to choose from... But also, this was one of the first books I read in English, at a time when my love of literature fully-blossomed, and that makes it even more special.

L - The Lonely Londoners by Sam Selvon (1956)

I loved the writing in this novel about the life of West Indian immigrants in London in the 1950s. Such a strong narrative voice. Its only flaw is that it only focuses on the male immigrant experience, but that’s no reason not to love it anyway.

M - Manual of the Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho (1997)

The book that made me get into Paulo Coelho quite a few years ago. I’m less into him now, but this is still among my favourites <3 A book one can turn to in times of hardship, always ready to offer much-needed words of wisdom.

N - North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell (1855)

I think @dukeofbookingham once described this as “Pride and Prejudice with a social conscience” and I don’t think I can top that description. If you’re still unsure about this, why not watch the 2004 BBC adaptation with Richard Armitage?

O - Orlando by Virginia Woolf (1928)

Sometimes a bit difficult to get through, but so beautifully written that it makes it totally worth it. Also, such an imaginative read!

P - Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw (1913)

Maaaaan I love this play. My inner linguistic nerd can’t resist Higgins’s endavours to train Eliza to speak like a “proper lady”, and the feminist in me is ever in awe of Eliza’s strength of character. (Don’t trust the ending they gave her in My Fair Lady. Shaw was much smarter than that.)

Q - Regina di fiori e di perle (Queen of Flowers and Pearls) by Gabriella Ghermandi (2011)

Now this is a double cheat because 1) I’m using the translation to make it work, and 2) I took it from my TBR pile, but this is one I’m really excited about, and it’s by an Italo-Ethiopian author, so... <3

R - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard (1966)

There were plenty of more obvious choices for this one and I’ve actually only ever seen the film adaptation, but I love the idea for this play so much I couldn’t resist. Plus, I’ve been meaning to get my hands on a copy since forever...

S - Sillabari (Abecedary) by Goffredo Parise (1972-1982)

Going again by the title in the original language. Honestly, I keep trying to recommend this wonderful book to my English-speaking friends but it’s so frustrating because only the first part of this (...novel? collection?) has been translated into English. “Collection” doesn’t seem like the right word because there is such a strong thematic unity to this book, but it is certainly made up of vignettes, each of which is meant to describe a human feeling, something that is achieved with great economy of words and often in unexpected and unpredictable ways. Incidentally, this is a particularly fitting title for this list because the vignettes are organized in alphabetical order (Abecedary, anyone?) –the first one is “Amore”, love. If you can read Italian, I cannot recommend this enough!

(Special mention: Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde.)

T - The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien (1954)

This doesn’t look like cheating but it feels like cheating. :P There were plenty of other titles to choose from but none that was giving me as strong a feeling. Plus, it feels good to pay homage to one of the books that started it all for me <3 (and I actually first discovered Tumblr by looking for LOTR-related content, so it's even more appropriate.)

U - Chasing Utopia: A Hybrid by Nikki Giovanni (2013)

I was trying to go for something that wasn’t Ulysses (which I haven’t read yet, by the way). Now, I haven’t read this whole collection, but I remember reading some of Nikki Giovanni’s poetry in one of my American literature classes and I definitely liked her work. Plus, I love that title! I had kind of forgotten about this one, so now might be the right time to go and actually check it out from the library.

V - Il visconte dimezzato (The Cloven Viscount) by Italo Calvino (1951)

Wow, was it difficult to find a worthy V-title! (Or one that is not in my TBR pile.) I haven’t read the books in this unconventional ‘trilogy’ in so long, but I still remember liking them a lot (although my favourite was always The Nonexistent Knight).

W - Waiting in the Twilight by Joan Riley (1987)

This is a more obscure title and probably not as easy to get a hold of (AbeBooks would be your best option) but this immigrant story about a Jamaican woman and her dream of building a better life for herself told from the perspective of her disenchanted old self is incredibly powerful and just... my heart breaks for Adella.

X/Y - I got nothing. :(

Z - Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde (1982)

Another one that I haven’t read (yet), but this is Audre Lorde, so. <3

Physical appearance:

I have blond hair.(not really but it passes as blonde in here) My current hair color is not my natural hair color. I have curly hair. I have green eyes. I have red hair. I have natural highlights. I am black. I have lots of freckles. My nails are usually painted. I wear a lot of eye make-up. I have bangs. I have short hair. I wear a lot of pink.

Belongings:

I own a hair straightener. I have my own car. I have posters on my walls. I have a pet. I own a pair of roller skates or blades. I have lots of bobby pins. I own at least four bottles of perfume. I have a lot of jewelry I never wear. I own at least 5 pairs of jeans. I own Converse. I own a pair of high heels. I own a leather jacket.

Family:

I have a step-relative. I am adopted. My biological parents are married to each other. I am an only child. At least one of my great-grandparents is still alive. All of my grandparents are still alive. I am related to someone famous. I have a sibling who is in college I am a twin or a triplet. I have a sibling who is married. I have a sibling who is less than five years old. I have more than one sibling. I see my cousins often.

Relationship:

I am married. I am engaged. I have been proposed to. I have never been in a serious relationship. I have been asked out on a date. I have been cheated on. I am asexual. I want to get married someday. I want to have kids someday. I have children. I have made out with someone against a wall.

Health:

I am lactose intolerant. I have a food allergy. Someone in my family has died of cancer. I have had surgery. I have scoliosis. I take/took anti-depressants. I have attempted suicide. I have been in the hospital in the past year. I have broken a bone. I’ve had strep throat. I don’t drink enough water. I exercise for more than 10 hours a week. I wear glasses and/or contacts.

Friendship:

I have a best friend. I am used to be friends with a pair of twins.  I am close friends with at least one of my neighbors. I have at least one friend who lives in a different country.

Experiences:

I have had a near-death experience. The police have been summoned to my house. I have been nearly run over by some sort of large vehicle. I have been snorkeling. I have been to at least 2 weddings. I have been to at least 2 funerals. I have been to an overnight summer camp. I have been on a train. I have lived in a different country. I have spent the night in a motel. I have written a novel. I have been zip-lining. I have been to a wedding or funeral outside of my home country. I have failed a class. I have cut class. I have gotten a speeding ticket. I have gotten a parking ticket. I have been in a car crash. I have been sent to the principal’s office. I have been arrested. I have been drunk. I have taken a ballet class. I have driven a car. I have been on an upside-down roller coaster. I have gone to school or work after a sleepless night. I have flown in a hot-air balloon.   I have spent more than 48 hours without sleep. I have been in a talent show. I have read Sherlock Holmes. I have read all of the Harry Potter books. I have seen all of the Harry Potter movies. I saw the last Harry Potter movie in theaters. I have thrown up on a plane. I have worn my pajamas out in public. I have worn my hair in a fishtail braid. I have never been trick-or-treating. I have posted a video on YouTube. I have seen an episode of Supernatural. I have worn colored contacts before. I have tried out for a sports team. I have auditioned for a play. I have been in a school play. I have had a main role in a school play.

Personal:

I have a job. I am afraid of heights. I am not religious. I live in an apartment. I am extremely familiar with jet lag. I want to change my name. My first name ends with the letter “I.” I don’t get nervous before making a presentation. I have more than one citizenship. I was born in a city. I run a video blog. I know what I want to do with my life. I am insecure about my voice. I worry a lot about my future.

Education:

I am a student. I go to a private school. I have my Master’s degree. I have taken a college-level class while in high school. I have graduated from high school.

Travel:

I have been to a third-world country. I have been to the Carribean. I have been to Boston. I have visited a college. I have been to Florida. I have been to New York City. I have visited another country. I have been to Egypt.

Skills:

I am fluent in more than one language.(lies...) I have read a book in another language. I can braid hair. I can do a cartwheel. I can do a handstand underwater.

Interests:

I play Skyrim. I play Minecraft. I like country music. I like to read fanfiction. I watch Doctor Who. I enjoy hiking. I run track. I like cooking shows. I like chick flicks. I love poetry. I have written a song. I am interested in cinematography.

Likes and Dislikes:

I like lobster. I like strawberries. I hate making my bed. I enjoy science fiction. I like roller coasters. I like watermelon. I like going back-to-school shopping.

Habits:

I go to the movies at least once a month. I continuously bite my nails. I have a habit of biting my lip. I tap my foot when I’m nervous. I have a paper calendar on my wall. I often have to replace my earbuds.

lol another one

Basics

I am male I am female I am neither male or female (i am uhhhhHHHHH) I am a under the age of 18 I am 18 or older I am straight I am gay or lesbian I am bisexual or pansexual I am trans

Friendship

I have two or more friends I have one friend I have no friends I have a best friend I am close with my friend(s) I spend a lot of time with friends I have a crush on a friend I hate a friend I wish I had fewer friends I wish I had more friends

Relationships

I am single I am in a relationship I am married I am a virgin (virginity is a social construct biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch) I often date I prefer to date extroverted people I prefer to date people who are like me I prefer to date people who are unlike me I take relationships very seriously I have high standards (id like to date myself lol bye)

Negativity

I have/had depression I have cried myself to sleep I have/had anxiety I am often lonely I keep a lot of emotions inside I am scared of talking to people I want to talk more to I have/had an eating disorder(i binge eat like an animal bro does it count) I have low self-esteem I often feel I embarrass myself I feel people don’t take me seriously I am quickly jealous I feel people want me to be someone/something I’m not I have experienced discrimination

Positivity

I have become a better person I have gotten out of a bad period of time I am confident I am looking forward to something I have enjoyed myself over the past week I have met a famous person I consider myself a kindhearted person I am currently feeling relaxed and comfortable I appreciate the little things in life I have nobody in my life whom I hate I have achieved something large this year I am part of a religion that brings me peace I have a movie/game/song which cheers me up

I…

…get scared from watching horror movies …play a sport …read a lot of books …have allergies …am a feminist (well technically) …believe in love at first sight …own an instrument …can draw …am listening to music right now …value romance and friendship equally …have sneaked out of the house …am outgoing …respect people’s comfort zones and personal space …am deaf …spend money on a daily basis …want to write a book …can ride a horse …am asexual …put my hands over my face when I’m flattered …like the colors pink and yellow …own an xbox …shop at least once a week …have a drivers license …drink alcoholic beverages …get scared by unsettling imagery and screamers …eat fast food at least twice a week (im recovering from my trashy eating habits :’))))

Likes and Dislikes

I like parties I dislike parties I like perfume I dislike perfume I like “so bad it’s good” movies I dislike “so bad it’s good movies” I like playing video games I dislike playing video games I like chocolate I dislike chocolate I like having a busy schedule I dislike having a busy schedule I like laughing at my own jokes I dislike laughing at my own jokes I like compliments I dislike compliments I like heavy metal music I dislike heavy metal music I like snow I dislike snow I like taking walks with someone I dislike taking walks with someone I like people who aren’t very talkative I dislike people who aren’t very talkative

AND YET ANOTHER ONE :):):):):

1. State your name: Sare 2. State the name that your parents almost named you:  Rana, my sister wanted to name me Minnoş which is a fucking pet cat name 3. Which of your relatives do you get along with the most? Uhhhhhhhhhhh 4. What was your first job? ive never had a job 5. Did anything embarrassing happen this week? i dont really remember 6.Do you miss your ex? i dont have an ex to start with alksdfj 7. White chocolate or dark chocolate? barf 8. Do people praise you for your looks? Family&friends doesnt count, they are delusional 9. What is your favorite color of clothing to wear? Blue, Green, Orange, Yellow??? Black, Gray, White??? as long as its not a disgusting warm color i would wear it 10. How do you wear your makeup? i dont wear make up i only wear face paints time to time (to humiliate myself bc why not) 11. What are some of your nicknames? Sarişa, Saroo, Saruhan 12. How many bedrooms are in your house? 2 13. How many bathrooms? 3 14. Do you have a job? no 15. Do you have a car? nay 16. Do you work out every week? yes kinda 17. Did you brush your teeth this morning? Yeah im not an animal thanks 18. Have you ever kissed someone you never saw again? Probably their hand bc kissing the hands of elderly is a strict custom here but otherwise ew no 19. Have you ever sung in front of a crowd? hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kinda 20. What kind of bathing suit do you wear? one piece 21. Do you like your eyes? kind of 22. Do you think you are pretty? nah 23. Who was the last person you talked to in person? my sister probably 24. How much money is in your checking account? i say im poor but actually being asocial comes with its perks, i have money but i dont have anything to spend it on 25. Are you single? yes 26. Do you want kids? Ew no 27. Tell me what your back pack looks like: like a backpack, navy background has white&orange&another color i cant remember monkey silhouettes on it 29. Last movie you saw in theaters: it