#Another good tiddy day 👌 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sugar-petals · 3 years

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Ooooh, now I’m curious and need to ask you to elaborate on your top ten himbo players, that you actually like, but also your top ten for players that are boyfriend material, cause I find your choices really interesting and actually different from what I was expecting! 💗 (i really hope I’m not bothering you by sending these asks 🥺🌟)

i like writing about it at length don’t worry 👀⚽️ here it goes.

caro’s top 10 footie giants

(note: includes veteran nominations for long-term service)

1) robert lewandowski — who is it!!!!

if lewy doesn’t win this it’s heresy, the man has it all: he’s ripped, he’s cutesy, statuesque, silly, sexy, divine, hilarious, confused, polite, unique, unsurpassed, i can go on, enjoy this handy illustration as proof:

he is the moment, he’s the protagonist, the founding father of all himbos worldwide 👴🏻✨he just has to look at you clueless once and you know he got what it takes!

in summary:

2) fernando torres — nobody expects the spanish ab definition! ah... the good ole days, i miss fernando. el niño became extremely buff with time and remains as kind and shy as ever so the spot is even more deserved 🇪🇸

3) manuel neuer — not in 1st place bc he's too unhinged, other than that ofc he has to be way up high on the list for being the nation’s big booty stripper providing us with endless content, give his arms a custom insurance ffs

4) leon goretzka — here goes the twink magnet, the whole fandom will send me assassins if leon's not included in the top 5 so ‘ere ya go

5) frenkie de jong — himbo in the making, BDE body, puppy personality, he’s just very huggable, what more can i say, he really walks around like this

6) julian brandt — soft snuggly himbo bee, a lil slutty too 👌 lately his hair is so dang long i love it, smh i envy kai for being engaged to this man

7) mats hummels — also included to appease the masses, at least i don’t think his green plaid coat was that bad, his facial bones & hair are great i guess

8) ter stegen — not 100% a himbo since his brain isn't entirely vacant (more of a gentlemanly type) but but he is kind tall chiseled and a tank, i would pick him to save us in a zombie apocalypse

9) lukas podolski (ft. bastian schweinsteiger) — and now the ultimate grandfather besties of himboism, you can’t possibly separate them, poldi invented being stupid and sexy, basti invented being stupid and built, together they are the ideal himbo fusion, everyone deserves having a friendship like this

gotta love them munching crisps on tv 😂

OUT OF A GIANT CAULDRON HHH

10) romelu lukaku — to wrap it up i confess my love for the belgian team, they’re incredible & romelu is peak coolness (last on the list bc he’s actually smart, but his tiddies are enormous so ofc that has to be honored)

and for the sake of completion, an abbreviated top 10:

top 5 bf material players

1) raheem sterling — we talked about tall guys but here the short king hour strikes! so goodlooking and smiley ⭐️ he’s perfection. i have zero business with his club or the english nt and yet? he made it here. says a lot. raheem sterling. thank you for existing. terrific player.

2) mario götze — hehe... i know very well you didn’t expect him either but here goes it’s me mario, certified cutest ever, so sparkly as well, baby baby bumblebee, oh the nostalgia i know

3) kai havertz — soft lizard bf w/ terrible humor, i stan, can’t divorce him from julian so it’s gonna be a polyamorous relationship, but anyway i adore my suffering victorian heir to bits

4) leroy sané — prettiest, most elegant, most attractive, most stylish, the ideal man exists, love his voice & little habits, never seen a guy as ethereal and handsome, leroy is so boyfriend it hurts, my heart skips a beat for this gaze

5) kepa arrizabalaga — as the outrageous cherry on top: another goalkeeper lunatic and to amp up the hot spanish quota even more; kepa truly is a phenomenon, i don’t know how he does it but i enjoy it

thank you for bearing with this whole friggin ranking, have a nice day 🐯 (now i’ll hide and wait until the rest of the footie fandom finds this post)