#I’m just trying to do my art appreciation project and I learned all of this against my will.
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Who was going to tell me that Salvador Dali, the most well known surrealist artist ever I think, was sexually attracted to Hitler? And he was very open about it? And painted a piece of Hitler literally jacking it? Or was I just supposed to find out on accident.
#surrealism#salvador dali#yapping#he also BIT a DYING BAT that was INFESTED with ANTS.#oh and he shoved his friend off of a bridge when he was a kid.#yeah this guy was fucking crazy and not in the haha look how funky my art is way.#I’m just trying to do my art appreciation project and I learned all of this against my will.
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The Art Of Desire
→ Masterlist || → Taglist
Pairing: Alhaitham x (gn!) Reader
Summary: You are in need of a model for your anatomy class assignment. However, the last thing you expected was that your crush would volunteer to help you and that he would end up standing in front of you without a shirt.
Tags: Fluff, Suggestive (but still completely SFW)!, shy reader, partial nud*ty I guess? (Alhaitham is shirtless at some point), flirting, kissing
A/N: *throws fic into the room and leaves*
Being an artist while also being a scholar in Sumeru had always been somewhat difficult for you. The arts had never been something most people in Sumeru City appreciated or even actively looked down upon. It was a city of scholars after all, and the arts were too abstract to properly grasp for most of them.
Things had begun to become better after the old Grand Sage had been replaced and the new Archon had been freed but a lot of scholars still didn’t show much interest in the arts.
But due to that an assignment for one of your classes proved difficult. Anatomy.
You had no idea how learning human anatomy would help you as an architect later, but you did what you had to do. And it would surely help you with your personal art projects later on as well.
The only thing you had to find now was someone who could pose for you. Surely Kaveh would be able to help you right? He was your best friend and was once in the same situation.
You sought him out where he hung around the most - the Tavern.
As you walked through the Tavern door, warm air that smelled like wine and spices wafted your way and filled all your senses. You loved how homely it always felt here.
You scanned the tables to find Kaveh. Unfortunately for you though, he wasn’t alone. As you feared, Alhaitham was with him. You already considered turning around to leave again but Kaveh had already spotted you and was enthusiastically waving for you to come over to their table.
And that was precisely the reason you rarely ever came here nowadays. Kaveh often met up with Alhaitham here for lunch. And your crush on the latter had slowly but surely turned you into a nonsense-blabbering mess during conversations with him. At this point, he probably thought you were stupid.
You hesitantly tiptoed over to their table and greeted them while your heart pounded heavily inside your chest. You sat down on the bench next to Kaveh who was already a bit tipsy. It wasn’t much of a surprise, since he was such a lightweight and practically got drunk as soon as he looked at wine the wrong way.
“Kaveh, I need your help!” You pleaded, trying to avoid eye contact with Alhaitham as much as possible once again.
“And that would be, my dear friend?” Kaveh replied in a singsong voice.
“Alright so… I need someone to pose for me. I need to draw a couple of detailed torso drawings for the anatomy course I’ve been taking, and since you also took that once I thought you could help me. I mean, you could also give me some tips. Right?”
“Oh.” His smile faltered for a brief moment and his facial expression told you everything you needed to know. There was apparently a reason he couldn’t help but he didn’t outright want to turn you down. You knew how he is, he simply couldn’t say no and would inconvenience himself any time for his friends. And you definitely didn’t want him to do that for you. You’d be able to find someone else somehow.
“It’s okay if you can’t do it. Just say no.” You reassured him.
“I have an appointment in the desert with a client, but I’m sure I could make some ti–”
“I’ll help you.” Alhaitham cut Kaveh off.
Both of you snapped your heads in his direction in disbelief.
“Are you sick?! Why would you volunteer to help anyone but yourself?” Kaveh gasped and looked at the Scribe as if he’d lost his mind.
“It’s not much work, is it? They could just come to my office and draw me while I just sit there doing my work. Isn’t that correct?” Alhaitham inquired, boring his turquoise eyes into you. You simply nodded in reply and could feel your breath hitch in your throat. You were sure that if you would be standing right now your knees would’ve probably given in by now since they felt like jello. On top of that, your nervousness skyrocketed so badly that you were able to feel your heartbeat in your throat.
The thought of being alone with Alhaitham for a prolonged period of time while ogling him as closely as you never dared before, made your heart flutter. You probably wouldn’t be able to concentrate on drawing properly but if he was already offering it, you couldn’t possibly refuse. Especially since he usually didn’t do anyone any favors to begin with.
“Besides,” Alhaitham continued. “It gives me an excuse to decline every other meeting for the rest of the day.”
“Tch, typical. Of course, there’d be an egoistic reason for your volunteering.” Kaveh scoffed.
“I don’t see any issue with that. I help them with their assignment while also helping myself. It’s a beneficial endeavor for both of us.” Alhaitham reasoned, twirling his own wine cup between his fingers before turning to you again. "Wouldn't you agree, too?"
You slowly nodded before quickly averting your eyes again since you couldn't bear to look at Alhaitham for longer than a few seconds without getting flustered. You had no idea how you were supposed to look at him for a prolonged period of time to draw him if you were already reduced to a flustered mess by talking to him. The thought alone made your heart almost jump out of your chest.
Kaveh shook his head in annoyance and turned to you once more. “Just say the word and I’ll take a day off to help you. Rest assured, it would be no problem for me.”
“No, Kaveh. I couldn’t possibly ask you to neglect your own responsibilities for my projects. Just keep your focus on yourself. If Alhaitham is so kind to offer his help I’ll take him up on that.” You reassured him while trying to hide how nervous you actually were about the situation.
“Well, shall we get going then? My lunch break is almost over.” Alhaitham interrupts, immediately getting up from the table.
You somewhat hesitantly got up as well since you didn’t expect he meant you could draw him right now. You had no time to mentally prepare for it so this would be interesting.
“Oh, so now you suddenly care about getting back to work on time after your lunch break,” was the last thing you heard Kaveh yell before the door of the Tavern fell shut behind both of you.
As you quietly tailed behind Alhaitham back to his office the realization that you’d actually be drawing him now suddenly began to dawn on you.
Oh, just what did you agree to here? And how in the world should you avoid making this awkward now?
Once you arrived at his officeAlhaitham unlocked the door and motioned you inside.
“You can sit down at the table over there. Do you need anything?”
“No. I should be fine.” You replied with a shy smile.
You were in fact everything but that.
While you were trying not to have a meltdown as you unpacked your stuff, Alhaitham was brewing some coffee and handed you a cup as well.
“Do you need me to do anything?” He asked.
“Hm?”
“In terms of posing.”
“Oh. Uh– no actually not. Just sit on your chair and read or whatever?”
“Nothing easier than that.” He replied with a faint smile, grabbing a book from the bookshelf beside you and walking back to his desk.
You busied yourself by scanning the books on the shelves that littered his office while sipping on your coffee before you turned around again and had to stop yourself from immediately spitting your coffee out again. Although as soon as you did you wished you had never done so.
Alhaitham had unclasped his cape and had loosely thrown it over his desk and was just about to pull his shirt over his head. You were trying to process what was happening before your eyes but your mind was racing so fast that you failed to fully grasp the scene before you.
“W-what are you doing?!” You stammered.
“Didn’t you say this was for your anatomy assignment?” He inquired, seeming entirely unbothered before ultimately removing his shirt completely.
Well, yeah you did. And for that bare skin was sort of a requirement. You knew that full well, too. It just sort of slipped your mind that taking Alhaitham up on his offer would actually entail seeing him without a shirt as well.
“Y-yes.” You replied, moving your eyes over his now exposed abdominal muscles. His usual shirt already left little to the imagination, but actually seeing his trained body without the thin piece of fabric covering it was a sight for sore eyes.
He claimed to only be a feeble scholar but that notion couldn’t be any further from the truth.
“Then there you have the answer to your question.” He stated matter-of-factly before sitting down and opening his book to read. His face still looked as unbothered as it did before and he immediately lost himself in his book.
In the meantime, you tried your hardest to get yourself together again. Not only did you need to keep your eyes from wandering but also your mind.
You traced every well-toned muscle of his upper body. How light and shadow formed their contours and how his pectorals moved whenever he flipped another page. You took note of every detail and etched it into your memory while suppressing the urge to brush over his defined muscles.
You sat down at the table and held onto your pen for dear life as you continued to analyze every little detail of his body. The embedded gem between his collarbones and hot it beautifully shimmered in the light of his office. The sharp V-Line that started right above his hips. The symmetric curve of his collarbones leading up to his shoulders. And his turquoise eyes that were boring into yours once again.
"Is anything the matter?" He inquired, lifting an eyebrow.
"N-no. I'm just trying to find a starting point." You stammered your poor attempt at an excuse.
After all 'Sorry, I was too distracted by staring at your body' wasn't something you could just say either.
“T-tell me if you’re getting too cold and we can take a break.”
“It’s 40 degrees outside, I’ll be fine.” He chuckled seemingly amused about your concern.
“Ri-right. Yeah. Okay.” You awkwardly bit your lip. For Archon's sake, why couldn’t you just behave normally around him?
After overcoming the first awkwardness you eventually started sketching. But the more the shapes on your paper resembled the beautiful man in front of you, the more flustered you became again and the more aware you became of the fact of how closely you were actually looking at him. Your attention to detail for this sketch was even more on point than it had ever been before. Upon realizing that it was because you were enjoying what you were seeing your cheeks started to burn in embarrassment.
You spent about an hour immersed in sketching, carefully studying every contour of his upper body. It felt so intimate that you couldn't help but wonder if anyone had ever looked at him this way before. And even though you kept telling yourself that this was just a regular art study session to avoid getting flustered further, the endeavor proved completely unsuccessful.
Eventually, you finished your piece and dropped your pen on the table. You lifted your sketchbook up to evaluate the page and the final result.
The once-blank page was now filled with an intricate pencil sketch of the handsome man with a dreamlike physique. You had to admit, he truly was the perfect subject for anatomy studies. And while you wouldn’t mind seeing him shirtless more often you doubt your heart could handle it another time. Because despite sitting the entire time you felt like you had just run a marathon.
“Your talent is quite impressive.” Alhaitham’s voice rang right next to your ear and made you flinch. You didn’t notice how he had approached you. And what made things worse is that he was still shirtless while standing next to you so closely you could feel the heat that emanated from his skin and smell his after-shave.
You gulped and got up from your chair avoiding looking into his eyes as much as possible because you feared that if you did your heart would burst out of your chest.
“Thank you. That means a lot. I-I mean… it was quite easy to see the muscle definition on you.”
Facepalm. Why did you say that? You internally cringed at your choice of words and continued to avoid looking at him while you hastily started packing your bag again.
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” He remarked with a smirk and lifted your chin up with your sketchbook, forcing you to look into his eyes.
You opened your mouth in order to say something but everything you could’ve said died in your throat. So instead, you simply continue to stare at him while your heart felt like it was about to combust and you wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground in shame.
He huffed in amusement at your evident flustered state and closed the gap between your bodies, placing his arm next to your head on the wall, towering over you.
“Do you have any idea how obvious you are?” He asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I see the way you look at me, or rather how you always avoid doing so now. And Kaveh happened to slip up and revealed your secret when he got drunk. And that’s why I can tell you that I feel the exact same way about you. And I’ve longed for a moment to tell you. You didn’t make it easy since you kept avoiding me lately.”
You didn’t know whether what was happening was wishful imagination or a fever dream because it felt surreal.
He put your sketchbook back on the table and lifted your chin with his free hand now. He took hold of one of your hands and placed it on his abs.
“This is what you wanted to do the entire time, am I right?” He whispered while the bud of his thumb brushed past your lower lip. You slowly nodded as your traced along his toned stomach with a featherlight touch, feeling how the muscles moved below your fingertips.
“May I kiss you?” He whispered in a low tone when you looked up into his eyes.
He had barely even finished asking when you leaned into him more and took the initiative to place your lips on his for a shy kiss. But it was so fleeting it had you longing for more and it seems that the feeling was mutual.
He quickly snaked his arms around your waist and pressed you against him with fervor while he hungrily crashed his lips into yours once more. You slung your arms around his neck and entangled your fingers in his soft gray locks while pushing his face even closer to yours than it already was.
You could feel him smiling into the kiss, as you did so. His lips continued to gently caress yours like a tender whisper of affection shared only between you two. It made you feel lightheaded while also leaving you longing for more. It was an intoxicating feeling like no other. One you certainly could get addicted to - and maybe you already were.
At some point, you had no idea for how long you had been standing there kissing but it felt like an eternity yet not long enough at the same time.
You were sure of one thing though – You needed more of it.
Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.
#genshin impact#genshin fanfic#genshin x reader#alhaitham x reader#al haitham x reader#alhaitham x y/n#genshin fluff#genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin alhaitham#genshin x female reader#genshin x y/n#genshin impact fanfic#genshin drabbles#genshin scenarios#genshin brainrot#genshin headcanons#cw: suggestive#🍁 dust writes
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hi hi! can I request some headcanons about the ninja (+pixal, if you're up for it) having an artist s/o? okay thank you, also I love your writing!
Oooh yess!! Where my artist ninjago enjoyers at⁉️ I’ve come to nourish you <3
Ninjago - Ninjas (+ Pixal) with an Artist s/o
Jay
Immediately asks if you can draw/paint/etc him
If you agree, he will ask again in the future
….honestly he’ll probably keep asking even if you say no
What can he say? He wants to inspire you ;)
If you have art block, he immediately jumps to pose dramatically or arrange a bowl of fruit or something
He’s equally enamored with the quality of your work and the fact that it came from your hands
He loves all your work, even the pieces you decide to scrap/re-do
“What are you doing?? That was perfect!”
“Jay? How long have you been standing there-”
On that note, he loves to watch you work
Even when you don’t know he’s watching… (he’s a little obsessed)
But the plus side of this is that he knows the exact products you use, and he can see when you’re running low
He makes sure to replenish your stocks for you :) so you won’t ever have to worry about running out mid-project
He also makes sure to flaunt your work as much as possible, especially the pieces he “inspired”
He truly thinks you’re the best artist in the world, and he WILL fight someone over it
Cole
I see Cole as a pretty artsy guy himself, so he’d be thrilled to have an artsy s/o
You might not expect it, but he’s really in tune with his feelings, so to me it makes sense
He’s not quite as artsy as you, but he knows how to appreciate it
He’s more into the performing arts himself, but he has no less respect for other types of art
He’ll totally arrange work sessions for you both, which vary depending on the vibe you’re working with
Feeling like doing something a little dark or moody? Dramatic piano. Candles. Wine/grape juice in wine glasses.
Feeling colorful? Open windows. Flowers in vases. Candy and fruit. Maybe some cartoons playing in the background.
Point being: he knows how to get a vibe going
He really loves to work alongside you, even if you’re not doing the same thing
Sometimes he tries to sketch or paint, but more often he’s just watching you work or practicing moves
(You guys totally have a shared studio btw; wood floors and barre for him, easel/supply cabinet/whatever you need for you)
You guys definitely help each other out too
He’ll teach you a few moves so you can be his dance partner every now and again, and he’s more than happy to be your muse in return
He doesn’t really do performances or anything (dance is just a side hobby), so he has all the more respect for you if you publicize your work
He loves all your work, but he’s also a great source of constructive criticism
“I like this one. It’s darker than your other pieces, though, isn’t it? More drab.”
“Yeah, that’s kinda what I was thinking. I think I was just in a mood when I made it.”
Kai
He’ll make requests, but mostly for things he thinks would be cool
“What if you did one with, like, a car shooting flames from its exhaust pipes? Oh! And the driver is super handsome with a flaming cape and swords and sunglasses that are made of pieces of the sun!”
“That is insane. …I’m starting right now.”
He really admires your art, and he’s honestly a bit jealous of your skill
He actually has a pretty creative mind, just not the means to express it
So he’ll be shy about it, but eventually he asks if you can give him some pointers
He doesn’t want to keep asking you to bring his sharks flying in jets over volcanoes to life forever, after all
He’s gotta learn to be independent!
So he’ll quietly join you while you work, watching you closely and trying to follow along
He gets frustrated when he isn’t instantly as talented as you, and you have to laughingly assure him that skill takes time
He only gains more respect for you as he tries to stay calm
He learns to truly admire your work this way
And with his admiration came a tenfold increase in support
However you share your art, he’s the #1 supporter
Posting online? He’s already liked, commented, and shared on 7 different platforms. At a showcase? He’s dressed sharply, stationed not-so-inconspicuously in front of your piece(s) and getting others to talk about them
Zane
He also has a deep appreciation for art
He doesn’t always understand non-logical things, but art has a way of resonating with him
So to have a partner who makes art…
It adds a whole new level of emotional depth to your relationship
You already make him feel complex things, so seeing art that’s from you is truly an experience
The wistfulness he gets when looking at normal art is only amplified when he remembers that your hands produced it
He likes to be with you when he admires it, squeezing your hand while he takes in the little details
He’s a quiet admirer, but he’ll absolutely attend any events you’re featured in/support any online presence you have
He never gets tired of looking at your work; or looking at you work, for that matter
If you let him, he’ll watch you work
He’s dead silent, which is either a blessing or a curse depending on how easily you get creeped out
Eventually, when you finish, he’ll stand up and join you at your side, admiring the final product
You know he likes it when he reaches for your hand with a smile, letting you rest your head against him
The most you’ll get verbally is “it’s beautiful,” but trust me, he feels so much more deeply about the piece (and you <3)
Lloyd
Lloyd is more curious than anything when he finds out you’re an artist
What kinds of art do you do? Can he see your work? Have you always liked art?
He’s eager to see your work, but he’s not sure he can “appreciate” it properly
You have to reassure him that there’s no one way to “appreciate” art, and however he feels about it, that’s just how he feels
Your response only increases his interest
He ends up getting more into art because of you
The art of appreciation, if you will
He wants to be able to understand your work more so that he knows how to support you
He mostly spends hours just staring at your work, trying to notice the little details
He’d love to watch you at work, too, if you’ll let him
He asks questions all the time, but still tries not to annoy you
He’s actually already a natural at “appreciating” art, but the fact that he’s always trying to learn only makes him better at it
So you can do nothing but smile while he tilts his head, carefully formulating his next question
They’re surprisingly deep at times:
“Do you think this piece uses smoother shapes because you were feeling relaxed, so you moved more slowly? Or perhaps you were just emulating your calmness subconsciously..?”
“That could be it. I hadn’t thought of it like that.”
“Oh, sorry, am I overanalyzing? Sorry-”
“No, no, you’re totally right.”
You’ll ruffle his hair affectionately, and he’ll wrap an arm around your shoulder while he continues to examine your piece :]
Nya
I’m gonna be honest, I don’t see Nya as the type to get all deep over the meaning of art
Like, if it’s pleasing to the eye she’ll appreciate it, but she doesn’t think about it too much
It’s just too abstract for her tastes; the pseudo-reasoning of art critics gets on her nerves
But for your work she makes an exception
Well, not really an exception—she doesn’t take to pseudo-reasoning
She knows you, she knows your feelings, so when she sees your work, she sees a piece of you in it
It’s something she doesn’t see in other art pieces; she doesn’t know the artist, so it’s nothing more than a visual piece for her
But with your pieces, she can dig deeper because she knows deeper information
That’s why she loves your work, and why she loves watching you work
You’re the only artist that makes her feel like she really understands art, and for that she appreciates you
(She still thinks that most critics talk out of their asses though)
On that note, she will fight your critics. She will hunt them down and make them regret ever trying to “understand” your work
“Tch, look at this idiot. He doesn’t even know what he’s talking about! He doesn’t know you!”
“Nya, he’s complimenting my work-”
“But he doesn’t understand it!”
Honestly you think it’s a little funny how she’s unintentionally become one of those critics who argue about a piece’s meaning
Only for you though ;)
Pixal
She has a vast trove of knowledge, but feeling is something she often struggles with
There are few things that actually give her profound emotions
Your art is one of those things
The fact that it came from you, that your hands crafted it…
It stirs something in her, and suddenly the shapes and colors come to life
She asks you about it often, trying to understand
“Why is it… calming?”
“Well, I suppose I used some pretty muted colors, and the imagery is kinda peaceful… I dunno, does it calm you?”
“Yes. It makes me feel calm.”
Obviously you’re proud of her for better recognizing her emotions
And she’s proud of herself!!
Your art helps her understand a part of her that she’s only beginning to explore
And, since it comes directly from you, she credits you with the help :)
She loves to see your finished work, but she also finds herself mesmerized by your creative process
Watching the piece come together, each motion bringing it closer to completion, helps her understand the art itself
She tells herself that it helps her understand her feelings, too
Even though she knows that not every piece is dedicated to her, she always thanks you for showing her your work <3
Thanks for this request!! And thank you for reading, take care you little rockstars <33
(divider by saradika)
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago headcanons#ninjago x reader#kai smith#kai smith x reader#kai x reader#cole brookstone#cole brookstone x reader#cole x reader#jay walker#jay walker x reader#jay x reader#lloyd garmadon#lloyd garmadon x reader#lloyd x reader#zane julien#zane julien x reader#zane x reader#nya smith#nya smith x reader#nya x reader#pixal x reader#pixal borg#pixal borg x reader
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His favorite
Teacher Joel x f!reader
Summary: You’re a needy girl who needs to be taken care of, the pressure of studies weighting on your back making you sleep deprived. He is a reserved man in his 40’s thinking his age can’t attract a love interest into his life. And he’s needy too.
Warnings: 18+ MDNI . Unprotected p in v, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, Possessive Joel, reader is in her 20’s, No specific description of reader body except the gender and outfit. Age gap, no outbreak, porn w/plot, very slightly mean Joel ( he just doesn’t show much fluff ), dirty talk, no use of y/n
w/c: 2.1k (this is short, see a/n )
a/n: this is my first smut hence why it’s short !!! PLEASE GIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, I wanna learn !! Also give ideas if you have any <3 If this gets a few likes and some appreciation I might keep going with this so tell me if you’re intrested !!!
His eyes makes you shiver every time he looks at you, like thunderbolt sliding along your spine all the way down to your core making it ache so bad for him. Your head hurts like hell, the sound surrounding you feeling like a bell ringing constantly in your ears as the students around you chats in group, thinking about their projects.
“Hey ? Are you okay ? You seem distracted.” The girl next to you interrupting the bell
“Yeah, head hurt that’s all” you feel your heart pumping in your head, and hear your blood stream in your ears.
“ You better focus, I don’t want my art grade to go down just because of you” she spits
You can’t stand the people around you. Ever since you started university a few years back, everybody turned into unfriendly assholes thinking having a second of inattention can ruin their whole year
They’re not wrong, in a way. You’ve been distracted since the start of the year by your art teacher, Mr.Miller, and you can’t think of anything but his brown hair with a pinch of white snow on the roots, his messy beard with a visible growth along the neck and his square glasses makings his jawline stand out more. You want to kiss it, bite it.
There you go again, not paying attention, but at least you forgot about your headache for a second.
You take a box full of pills and a water bottle half empty out of your handbag and put one in your mouth, swallowing it with the mid temperature water making you grin.
“ Is everythin’ okay here ?” He say, him, Mr Miller. “ Noticed you were making faces and didn’t seem to focus too much, need’a hand to the nurse office ?”. You can feel your cheeks turning red, a burning sensation matching with the burning between your thighs. That’s how bad your attraction to him is.
“ I’m okay, I took a pill but thanks” you nod, putting your head back between your hands.
You suddenly feel a large hand on your shoulder, making you lift your face again.
“You’re going to the nurse office, right now” he say with a harsh tone.
He is now next to you, walking you to the nurse office. You start walking a bit wobbly, feeling his eyes on you making you forget how to walk normally. As you get near the office, his pace speeds up a bit to walk in front of you, reaching for the door to open it. He lets you in with a small gesture of his hand telling you to go in.
“Hi Mr. Miller, what’s the matter ?” The nurse says, giving him a huge smile showing her bright white teeth.
“student here lookin’ sick, I’m worried it might get worse with everybody around her chattin’” he says while putting a hand on your back between your elbows.
“I already took a pill, I’m going to be fine, just need a few minutes” your voice low, trying to avoid your head to hurt even more.
“Well I’d be happy to help but I’m going to close soon and you already took a pill, I’m afraid I can’t do anything else to ease the pain darling” she looks at you with a soft smile
She has always been so nice to you, and other people in general. All the times you came in with a bad migraine after a busy night drinking shots of vodka, or for period cramps, she’s been extremely helpful.
“I could take her in my office for the next 30 minutes. Class is ending in 5 minutes and I don’t have any class for half an hour”
You get taken aback once again from your thoughts, your eyes widening from what he just said. You can’t possibly stay in a room alone with just him, HIM, the man who haunts your day dream. The one who’s looking at you in class silently, while you wished he was touching you, feeling you right here on your desk
You’re out of the nurse office and on your way to your teacher’s office two hallways away. You can’t think straight because of your headaches. The both of you reach his door, he take the keys to his office from his back pocket on in his pants and open the door.
“ You wait here, don’t touch anythin’. You can sit on the couch or the office chair, whatever you prefer”
He leave the office, looking back at you when closing the door behind him, catching your gaze.
His office is well decorated. Plants sitting almost everywhere. A succulent on his desk and a few on some shelves with books; a monstera in the corner next to a small CD reader with a disk already in, and other plants you can’t name. His office is mostly brown with wood furniture. His desk is near the back of the room in front of tall windows with black curtains giving the room a dim light, a leather chair tall enough to support his broad back. The couch is near the door, it’s small but there’s enough space for two. The book shelves are on the left of his desk, on the other side some closed shelves with the CD reader on it and a box filed with disk in it. There’s a Lamp at the far end that is turned off.
After a few minutes of contemplating the room, the door opens up again with a large figure coming in.
“I brought you a hot chocolate, didn’t know if ya liked coffee so I went the safe way”
Your headache went down a bit, probably from scanning the room around you that is weirdly relaxing and cozy.
“Thanks, my head feels better by the way” you sit down on the couch.
“That’s good news” he says, putting the hot chocolate cup down on his desk. “ So uh, I didn’t wanna make this too embarrassing so I wanted to talk to you about the project we’re currently doing in class.” He leans on his desk, his butt on the edge of it.
“ ‘Noticed you didn’t seem to fit in well with your classmates, but this is a group project and you need’a work with them, or I’ll have to grade you down.”
He takes the cup from his desk, stands up and hands it to you. You reach for it when your fingers accidentally brushes his, making the hair on your arms and neck rise. He stands a few inches in front of you, crossing his arms.
“I know, sorry. It’s just that my friends aren’t in the same classes as me and I kinda struggle to make friends.” You sip from the cup.
He hasn’t moved, his eyes scanning your body before he notices his own movement and looks away.
“Still. You need to be careful, this could be bad for your grades” he goes back to his desk and turns your back to you, reaching for something on his desk and stars fidgeting with it. Rays of sun are peaking out from the curtains, highlighting his figure. A minute goes by, the both of you staying silent until-
“I noticed you looking at me during class, and this almost every time. Are you being distracted by me ?” He turns around.
Your eyes meet his, a hint of panic in yours.
“l uh…haven’t noticed” your heart pounding in your chest. You’re sure he can hear it. You stand up, anxiety making your legs feel numb.
He walks to you, standing close to your face.
“I’m warning you, this is not appropriate, you know that right ? “ his eyes on your lips, almost devouring them.
“Well, what if I am ? “ you look in his eyes, hoping that this is going the way you want it to go. If not, you will just keep dreaming about him in class and in your bed with your hand down I’m your panties
“I wouldn’t wanna risk anything if I were you darlin’” his breath hitting your face. You know he wants to touch, feel your whole body against him.
“We can just…be careful” your eyes almost begging
“Yeah, you’d be my little secret huh ?” his hands grips your waist, making you gasp, the burning sensation between your thighs growing bigger.
His lips suddenly crash onto yours, teeth touching as he brings you closer to him making your hips grind against his. Moans escape his mouth and yours between kisses.
He pushes you to the nearest wall keeping his lips on yours, reaching to lock the door with a swift movement.
“I’ve been waiting for this for so fuckin’ long “ he grabs your shirt and takes it off, while you zip off your skirt and toss it away.
“Fuck Mr. Miller…are you sure you wanna do this ?” You say while trying to catch your breath.
“I’m more than sure Angel, as long as you’re down for it I’ll do anything you want”
At this point your headache is long gone and forgotten and all you think about is him, him him him.
“Also please, call me Joel” he say as he grips your left leg and put it around his waist, making it easier for him to slide his hand down your cunt.
“Fuck you’re so fucking wet…Been’ wanting me the whole time huh ? “ he grins as his fingers rub against your clit, slowly building up your arousal.
“Please, please just fuck me already” your moans becoming louder and your breath going faster as your hands try to unbuckle his belt.
“Jesus you’re so needy, but you need to be quite, or else we’re gonna get caught, you don’t want that huh ?” He ask as he slides two fingers into your cunt, making you gasp.
“Fuck Joel, “ hearing you say his name is making him go feral. He lift you up in his arms, your legs around his waist as he turn around to put you on his desk, tossing some of his stuff to the ground including his poor little succulent plant.
“When’s the last time someone fucked your pretty cunt, huh ?” He takes his belt away, unzip his pants and take his hard growth into his hand, then slowly rubs it against your wetness.
“It’s been way too long, that’s why you need to stop waiting and fuck me already “
He obeys and starts grinding against your cunt, until his length slips into your core , stretching you out
“fuck you’re so tight Angel” he pants as his hips starts trusting into you, going deeper and deeper.
Your hands grips to his desk, desperately searching for hold as your body moves up and down.
“Shit Joel I think im gonna cum already” you say as his trust are getting deeper touching your sensitive spot inside.
“I wanna taste ya’ on my tongue” he comes out of you, leaving you empty, pussy clenching around nothing as he comes down on you. His breath hits the inside of your thighs, hot and fast until his tongue finally touches your swollen clit.
You gasp loudly, the fleshy part of your hand in your mouth to cover the filthy sound of you enjoying the tongue of your teacher on yourself.
“You taste so good baby, I’m gonna need this as a dessert every fuckin’ night”
He pushed two digits inside of you moving slowly to build your high until you finally cum, covering his fingers with your slit as he takes them inside of his mouth and licks it off.
“Fuck” you pant, coming down of your high with your heart racing maybe too fast
You know he probably ruined you for any other man, as short as it was, his cock was surely way bigger than you thought.
He stands up, putting his pants and belt back on.
“wait you didn’t finish, maybe I can help you out” you say, grabbing his tie making him come closer to your face, nose almost touching.
“Maybe for next time, sweetheart.”
Next time ? Oh. My. God. Next time.
“You wanna see me again?”
“Why not ? ‘s long as we keep this secret then I’m fine in fucking your here ‘n there in my office” the side of his lips lifting.
“ I’m down but, I’m not sure I just want to be some kind of doll to you.”
Your love for him is growing, there’s no doubt. But you want more than just sex here and there. You take a pen from a cup on his desk and a note from the note pad to write your number down and put it in the pocket of his buttoned up shirt.
“Well, was scared to ask but yeah, maybe we can go further than just some filthy sex” you look in his eyes, a smile showing on your face.
“What about going out to the restaurant just down the street then maybe I’ll let you suck me off ‘til I cum”he say, smiling back at you, exiting the room.
#joel miller smut#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal#smut#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel tlou#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#pedro pascal characters#tlou fic#Pedro pascal fandom#one shot#teacher crush#joel miller teacher x reader#Joel miller teacher
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2023 Wrap Up
A strange year that was both long and short. The main lesson to learn from 2023 is the same lesson I have been learning every year since I was 6 years old: Things happen if you try!
I spent a lot of time this year hitting my head against a wall, or rather healing from an RSI that caused making art to become really fraught. I could bear the wrist pain in order to do my favorite thing (drawing!!!) but then the pain stuck around after I had clocked out for the day and was making dinner. It would go like this: I want to make pasta sauce using canned tomatoes, but using a can opener is so painful now that maybe I should just do something else. The onions and garlic are already cooking in the pan though, what can I pivot that to? I felt like the biggest dunce in the world. I worked my way into being cursed, I deserved it.
I have this craving to just commit to a big art project, like a graphic novel, and keep my head down working on it. Having all my time devoted to work feels a bit like doing penance, like earning my bread. But I look at the world and I know I cannot draw my way out of this. I can’t write my way out of this. I can’t post my way out of this. I am unprepared for what I need to do to earn a better tomorrow. But I am prepared to learn.
I changed up my desk ergonomics and my wrist healed. Thank you to the huge desk easel that I stole from my parents’ house. It’s ugly, heavy, stained, and I keep banging my elbows on its sharp corners. It sucks but it saved my life. Do not resist making your workspace uglier if it might help you!
Making The Influence and participating in the ShortBox Comics Fair was a huge work highlight this year. I’m so grateful I can make a work with dark themes and have it be understood and appreciated. The encouraging response to The Influence did a lot to kill the bad faith reviewer in my mind. Things are possible if you try!
I started painting again and I really love it. I’m trying to just follow the image-making. Painting is play to me and I want it to remain so. I feel myself itch to turn it into some kind of profitable thing, to make it palatable, but I’m trying to resist so it remains a place of experimentation.
I also wrote a short novel. It’s awful. I just re-read it and it’s so bad, but reading it makes me happy. It needs serious reworking to be a proper novel, but I did technically cross the finish line and write the whole story. It was very refreshing and informative to branch out like this, even if I don’t think this particular example is fit for human consumption. Earlier in my life I was so stubborn about ONLY working in comics but now I’d like to pursue whatever path I can to have a creative career. If you try!
I had a great time tabling at Short Run this year. Two different people came to my table and told me they came to the show specifically to see my table. One person said Bug Boys was responsible for facilitating “many special moments” with them and their niece. I don’t want to forget about moments like this. It means a lot to me.
It occurs to me as I type out this year’s accomplishments, they’re mostly things I did at home alone. I haven’t rejoined the world after COVID in a meaningful way, the way I hoped I would during lockdown. It comes naturally to me to make up excuses to stay home, keep my head down, watch how things play out before joining in. That attitude does me a disservice. It isolates me. When other people are only in the screen, they become hypothetical. It’s not right to live this way, but it’s comfortable to me. It feels “safe” after COVID, even though it’s not safe. I know I need to change this.
It feels sick and strange to be blogging in my safe little apartment during a time of bloodshed. To flip through my planner and think of my future while others starve is obscene. My entire life was obscene in this fashion. It’s my responsibility to sit with this feeling and do something with it.
Here’s to a better 2024. We can do it, we can try.
In love and solidarity,
Laura K.
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Hello! I have so many questions. Okay. 1) I want to make a bunch of cotton kitchen towels both for practice and also because I need kitchen towels. This feels like a reasonable beginner project, is that correct? 2) I keep reading that you can do multiple towels on one warp but I’m not seeing how you’re supposed to separate the towels. Is it just cut the thread, roll more, start a new towel? But then how do you start the new towel? 3) when wet finishing something off the loom, the order is definitely sew the ends and then wash right? I don’t see how you could wash before seaming the ends…
Thank you so much for your time! And if you have links to beginner resources I’d really appreciate them!
I am so excited for your weaving journey!
I feel like towels are a great beginner's project. With a rigid heddle, it is mostly sticking with plain weave (also called tabby weave), so you can play a lot with colors and textures with the yarns themself.
I am currently warping up 6 yards to make 5 towels in one warp. The best way that I have found to make multiple projects in one warp is to...
Leave a gap between the projects!
Once you have gotten to the end of your first towel, hem stitch the edge to finish it off. Then, leave a couple inch gap on your warp and start weaving again!
If you like, you can use a waste yarn here to give you a solid edge to beat against.
Screenshot taken from the video Suzie Liles' Fastest Hem Stitch from the channel Eugene Textile Center.
It shows a good idea on the spacing to leave, as well as a good hemstitch to keep the edges all in place before you are done.
The video is below:
youtube
For towels especially, I like starting and finishing the last inch or so with a thinner weft (if you have one that coordinates), so you can sew the edges.
Also, it's a good idea to know how long your project it, so you know when to stop! This is doubly true if you are looking to make projects of the same size. Some people use a flexible tape measure and sewing clips, but I use a method with a ribbon and sewing pins. Try a few different ways and see what you like best!
This is an example of my measuring ribbon! I got a few spools from my local big box store (Michael's in this case) for a couple dollars, and they have been a great way to ensure I have consistent items. Any color works, the person I learned this from uses white ribbon. I just have red here because it makes it easy for me to find when it gets buried in my art room.
You are very right in needing to finish your edges before wet finishing.
Most towels, be they commercial or handmade, are hemmed. It gives them a little most structure and longevity. I would consider sewing the raw edge (not the selvage, your woven edge) if you have a way to do so. Even if you don't have a good way to do so, fringes are very cute on towels!
If you do choose to hem, I usually go for .5" hem size. The picture above shows how I usually fold it, so the raw edge is tucked away and less prone to wearing.
With wet finishing for weaving, I am usually a bit mean to my pieces. I use HOT water, dish soap, and agitate the heck out of it. I do my wet finishing in a five gallon bucket, then spin the excess water out with a salad spinner, then hang it over a clothes drying rack.
I am going to work on pulling together a good list of resources I have been using and probably reblog onto this with it.
In the meantime! A good tip for you, that I didn't learn until I was at least 8 projects in, is to use some kind of layer between your yarns in your warp. It helps so much with tension and keeps your yarns from wanting to snarl up with the layer beneath it.
Screenshot taken from the video Rigid Heddle Part 3 - Threading holes and Tying on the Warp from the channel Margery Erickson.
Like this! The weaver here is using cardboard, and gives a very good demonstration on winding on in the video below. The actual winding starts around the 10:30 mark.
youtube
I will be back with more information...
#crow chats#yarn crafts#weaving#id in alt#i know you sew but i just wanted to leave some extra details in for those that dont!
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I know my following is small, and everything was already said, but I just wanted to say something.
Just so y’all know, this is probably gonna a be long post ->
———
I as a lot of people love qsmp for it’s magic of getting people from around the world speaking and forming friendship together. And learning each other’s cultures in such a different ways.
I know I’m probably not the only one, but I’m not someone who’s from English speaking countries (America and such), I been always ‘forced’ to use English if I needed to buy or talk to someone in online spaces. And even if my culture is not that massive as others i know the pain of being made fun for my language or even country.
It’s been a lot of times I been called Russian, and getting sexualized for my looks and our countries history with them. Or people not wanting to learn and forgetting my own countries existence.
When Quackity started to stream more in Spanish I felt happiness and even if I didn’t understand him, I still tried to look for translation but only found angry comments how he should talk in English, and stopped talking Taco Bell. (I will never forgot these ‘jokes’ I know it’s hard for people who don’t know the struggle, but it still feels really disrespectful…)
But seeing this project showing people the magic of others culture, even if mine wasn’t there… I felt loved.
When Chayanne showed Germans traditions that was really similar to mine, I felt happiness at the way everyone loved it.
When new people showed up and everyone tried to learn how to say hello in their language or didn’t spoke English and used the translation instead.
I love seeing how all of their English got better or the ability to try to learn different languages even if there’s translation available.
—
I love this community and as someone who loved dsmp I really know how much this hurts.
But don’t worry! We still have each other, we made art and expressed what made it all even greater then it already was. I really appreciate you writers, artists, people who do cosplay and even people who didn’t had the courage to interact publicly in the fandom like me until now.
And the most important the Admins! I really appreciate you and what you did, even if its only giving life to ‘characters’ you played. You helped me with sadness I been feeling for while, and i think I’m not only one who said this but I wish you the best of luck on future projects, even if you decided to never interact with qsmp again.
I loved and still love this community we made, even if it had it’s downs and ups.
I will not leave, but I will try focusing on my own mental health and everyone who needs it.
I’m not comfortable with venting but if anyone just wants to talk about fanart or just have their mind on something else, feel free to dm me! I’m really bad at this, but I know it’s hard if your someone who didn’t interact online or doesn’t have irl friends or someone to talk this through with.
I know there’s probably a lot of grammar mistakes but I just wanted to share my love to everyone who was really feeling down with all this stuff happening.
I love you qsmp and even if this is the end or the new start. ❤️
#qsmp#qsmp discourse#qsmp discussion#qadmin situation#thank you quackity#thank you every admin that helped this project grow#thanks everyone here#I’m from Czech Republic if anyone wants to know why I mentioned being called Russian#i know it’s not that deep#but it really hurts#hyperfixation#qsmp admins#quackity
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hey ghostie i was gna get specific for the ask game but I wanna know *all* of it now, the acronyms, the full names, all of em! are they for cyberpunk or other fandoms? no matter how much there is to know, i wanna know! talking about an idea helps a lot, i speak from experience! thanks for the mention, ill get on the wip game soon, too! ❤️
WIP Game Here
Thank you for the ask! I appreciate it :) They are all Cyberpunk 2077 things lol. I’ve largely been a lurker in other fandoms until this one, and this is the first one that finally compelled me to make stuff and that I’ve had the bravery to share. Don’t have many snippets at the moment, all of what I have so far is already out there. Since you asked for all of them though, I shall dish and give you a bit of a peak behind the curtain on how all this got started…
(I’m sorry, this got very rambly.)
And def tag me when you do yours! I will come find you and your wips! 🧡
SIG - So It Goes
(The title is based off the radio song from the game that you can listen to on Morro Rock. Never officially released and credited to the fictional band Fingers and the Outlaws in the game. Officially sung by Ryan Kattner, the front singer of the band Man Man.)
SIG is my current V/River conspiracy theory long fic that I’m working on, and the project is coming up on its two year anniversary. It’s also my first fic. I’m hoping to wrap it up this spring so I can move on to other creative endeavors. There are a lot of art projects, fandom and non-fandom related, that I’ve held off on because of this and I miss those hobbies. I also feel like I’ve been missing out a lot in the writing corner of the fandom too because a lot of new writers have popped up on the scene since I started (back when there was still a monopoly on the tag, but that’s a different story) and everyone else seems to be having fun reading everyone else’s fics, except me… Reading’s complicated for me right now. Writing this had a lot of ups and downs, but overall I’ve loved telling this story, learned a lot, and I’m really proud of it!
I think most people get into fic writing for the ships, the romance, the smut, the processing of internalized trauma, a more satisfactory ending, weird niche interests… And don’t get me wrong there’s a lot of appeal with all that, and definitely those aspects in my own work. But this whole thing got started because of conspiracy theories. I fucking love mysteries and puzzles, so after playing the sun ending and then I spotting Mr. Blue Eyes on the balcony during the conclusion of Dream On, I just about lost my damn mind. I went down the rabbit hole, spent hours reading shards and messages in the game, combed reddit theory posts, and started picking up on all the hints and foreshadowing of something larger looming throughout the game.
I initially didn’t have any answers when I made the decision to start this fic (fuck, high probability I still don’t), it was largely me brainstorming and trying to figure out what kind of story I wanted to write. Seeing if I could even piece things together. But in the process of thinking all that through, I came up with this little theory. I thought it was pretty mind blowing at the time (still think it is) but it’s been my little secret since I got here and I’m very anxious to finally share it.
Most people probably would have just written a theory post and been done with it, but I decided to turn mine into a fan fic lol. Which may or not have been a mistake, we’ll see. This is either gonna be game changing or everyone is going to think it’s dumb and I’m gonna be wearing a dunce cap for the next fifty years.
River Ward. The other half of my reason for writing this fic. I actually wasn’t sure if I liked him at first, it took me a while to warm up to him. But the more I got to know him, the more I started to like him. The more he grew on me. He got hotter over time. Plus, I’ve got a fondness for detective characters and unusual coats, so I should’ve seen it coming.
River’s gotten a lot of flak from this fandom. People claim he’s boring. He’s a cop, so acab. Being unemployed and living in a trailer park with your sister, niece, and nephews isn’t a particularly redeeming quality. I don’t agree with most of those statements, but I do agree with the folks who do appreciate his character, that in terms of development, he absolutely got shafted in the game. This fic is also an attempt to rectify that.
For as underdeveloped as his story arc was, there’s a lot of nuance to his character that I think gets glossed over by the game and most people. We didn’t get much, but out of what we did get, it’s been interesting trying to piece a story together that’s in line with what we got. And I did mention earlier that I like puzzles.
I’ve noticed that a lot of folks tend to lean very hard into the cop aspect of his character, but as far as I’m concerned, River Ward doesn’t give a shit about the law. Conducting an off the record investigation, intimidating a confidential informant, illegally obtaining evidence, breaking into a restricted lab, committing arson for your ex so she can pass a medical exam, conducting another investigation after being suspended; those are not the actions of a man who holds the letter of the law above all else. Those are the actions of man who is determined to get to the bottom of things, and protect people, all while navigating a system that is anything but equitable or fair. They are the actions of a man who is willing to go above and beyond for the people he cares about, even to his own detriment. His own safety. For River Ward, it was never about the law, it’s about justice. And pursuing that sometimes involves breaking the rules.
River is also Pomo. Which is something that was only added in subsequent patches, heavily glossed over in the game, and is only disclosed if you choose to actually romance him. But he’s Indigenous. Native American. And yet he still made a conscious decision to join the NCPD. Given the historical participation by law enforcement and government institutions in North America, and around the world, in the cultural erasure and mass genocide of entire nations, tribes, and communities of people. And given the current state of issues regarding law and judicial enforcement on tribal lands, I think River's character is a rather poignant reflection. Of wanting to good, of wanting the world to be better, but being confined in systems that simply won't allow that. There's a billion other little details I could ramble on about, but his character had the capacity to walk a very fine line of complexities which the game never really did justice to.
Diversity and representation in media are important to me, and I want this fic to reflect that. Being bi-racial, I didn’t get very much of it growing up, so if I can provide representation, even in some small capacity, I think it’s better than nothing. And while I don’t know if I’m achieving that, well, shit if I’m not trying.
I wouldn’t say this story was really meant to be original, but rather to fill in the gaps on the story we got and for me to practice writing. Practice telling a story. CP2077 is a violent game set in a violent world. And I somehow managed to start writing a story that accidentally ended up being a love letter to aikido. (Much to my chagrin. It’s everywhere. In everything. I cannot escape it.) Aikido is a martial art that translates “to the way of peace” or “the path of harmony.” Yet again, another study in dichotomies. How can a martial art, an art form designed to inflict violence, be peaceful? Aikido is as much of a martial art as it is a philosophy. We train to practice and learn that philosophy.
One of the major themes I’m exploring in this fic series is the nature of violence. What it is, the forms it takes, how cyclical it is, that it is a relationship - violence requires your participation. So the question ends up being: how do you break cycles of violence when you live in a world where you are beholden to it? V and River are very much two characters that are caught up in cycles of violence. Will they find peace? I don’t know, but maybe they can find out together.
From The Top
(This one isn’t named after a song. I just decided to start from the beginning.)
From The Top is the VP project I started up last spring where I’ve been taking storyboard style photos of all the main missions. Plus whatever else I feel like. I take all of my photos on PS5 in vanilla photomode and randomly started snapping pictures just because. I did landscape photos, shared a few. Got a bit of nice feedback from people who cared to look and then started branching out. I eventually got to the point where I started a new playthrough for the sole purpose of snapping photos.
Taking VP is very different from writing for me. I don’t have to think about. I don’t agonize about making sure every tiny detail is just right, because for the most part I don’t have very much control It’s candid, intuitive, experimental, it’s straight up play. I simply wait for opportunities to present themselves and capture whatever I think looks or feels interesting to me. It’s easy for me to walk away from it if it doesn’t do well when I post. Unlike my writing, there’s no ego attached to it.
I’m getting to the tail end of this project, I still have a couple of the base game missions to get through, but I’d also like to do Phantom Liberty as well. Not sure what my VP career is going to look like after this, might go into soft retirement. But that’s okay.
NR - Night Running
(Named after Night Running by Cage the Elephant)
Is a sleeper wip that’s currently in the notes, brainstorming, and kitchen drawer phase. It’s part 2 of my Nothing Comes Before Night City series. So It Goes is part 1.
It takes a long time for me to mull over and ruminate on ideas, so this document is largely just a repository for notes and thoughts. Jamming the utensils in the drawer until I’m ready to organize them. I have a very broad idea of what I’d like to happen in this fic, key moments I’d like to hit, but there’s still a lot of refinement that needs to happen, and stories this involved require me outlining. I do already have a running set list of songs to draw from though.
Les Preludes
(Named after Les Preludes by Franz Liszt)
Another sleeper wip, also in the brainstorming phase. These are meant to be one-shots or short stories from the Nothing Comes Before Night City series. Moments I mentioned in the series, but can’t fit into the larger story. Character studies and background lore from V, River, Johnny, Jackie, a couple of OCs and whatever else I can think of.
I will probably start casually working on these after I finish SIG and while I’m outlining NR. I’d like the series to go in chronological order. Should be fun. And I think it’ll be good practice for being more concise. Unlike, this response...
If you stuck around for this TedTalk and made it all the way to the end, thank you! 👻
#wip game#ask away!#tag you're it#cyberpunk 2077#from the top#fic: so it goes#works in progress#long post#river ward#nothing comes before night city
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hey update on the nocturne no fusion run: it’s gonna be on hiatus.
ik this is sudden especially since it’s lucifer time but i got insanely burnt out. the last few weeks haven’t been great (seasonal depression especially sucks ass) and though i’m finally climbing out of that slump, whenever something like this happens, i need to take a step back from whatever i’ve been playing so it doesn’t cause some sort of relapse. this goes for a couple other games i’ve been working on and have live-blogged about. this doesn’t mean i’m abandoning anything!!! i just likely won’t get around to it until much later.
i still have a lot of grinding and skill resetting to do and tbh it hasn’t helped much because it kinda just. made my brain more mushy than it already is. i’m all over the place in general so sorry.
since i’m not sure when i’ll finally finish what i started, i did want to share some thoughts because i’ve gained a bigger appreciation for nocturne all by running through it again.
first off i forgot how fun team building can be. maybe it’s because without fusion i can’t do much with the demons i can get, but dammit it highlights a problem with a lot of turn based rpgs being the very little breathing room with how you can set up your team.
look, i adore monster collecting games but god there tends to be a definitive “don’t use this unless it’s in a specific way” tier that applies to nearly every one of them. pokemon kinda avoids this problem because of hms/tms and the breeding mechanic but that takes significantly more time and a vast majority of the games are kinda fucking easy. challenging for a kid especially when you get to the stuff like the battle tower, but there’s no incentive to build a good moveset outside of competitive play, and trust me—as an ex-competitive player—it does ruin the non-multiplayer combat in a ton of ways.
but ps2 era onwards megaten somehow gets around this still via mechanics like skill mutation. it’s random and hard to trigger but there’s still freedom, plus the way the games have always encouraged team building and learning how mechanics work is so rewarding. rpgs (action or otherwise) are my bread and butter but so many of them do fail to understand the importance.
nocturne’s combat flavor is so weird. it’s broken. really broken. somehow that’s the fun in it? when people talk about bullcrap smt moments there’s a reason nocturne comes up because it’s designed to be bullcrap. it fits the whole “the vortex world is harsh and unforgiving” angle.
the story structure is something i appreciate a lot more despite how flawed it is. talked about it a ton in a previous post analyzing how it handles characters like chiaki.
there’s so many fun and unique shots and angles and general framework that tbh isn’t something any other megaten has captured since, assuming they try. for all the ones that do post-nocturne, dds is the one that got the most cinematic but it doesn’t play with colors nearly as much. i love the raidou games (especially 2) but 2 got rid of most of the cgs and you could tell both games had much less of a budget than other atlus projects during that era. 4 and 4a have beautiful art and do fun camera movements but the hardware limitations make it so there wasn’t a ton of actual proper cutscenes. 5 is also beautiful and is aesthetic af but camera angles aren’t played with during conversation scenes.
the actual general issue is that talking stuff. nocturne doesn’t have a lot of strictly talking scenes, and the ones that are there are so spread out that you kinda forget they’re there. plus, some of it comes from pov shots like when talking with hijiri which does help with perspective. not many games period actually take the time to play around like that, making a lot of scene set ups feel samey. megaten is no exception especially in the ds/3ds era, and it kinda got abandoned tbh. the portraits and art are good yeah but they can only carry scenes so far.
also gained a bit of appreciation for tde. no it’s not the best written ending—the “bad”/demon ending and freedom ending are definitely the winners here mainly due to thematic importance. yes, it’s really shitty that going for other routes gives you half the content. you can do the amala labyrinth and then back out after beating metatron (as long as you don’t get to the bottom afterwards you can go for any of the other endings), but that’s still tde adjacent. however… i love how morally ambiguous tde is.
it is promising in several aspects but the consequences of said actions are huge. there’s still manikins in the vortex world, an entire society being built from what remains of tokyo even after the whole fight for the right to creation stuff happens, but siding with luci means destroying everything they’ve worked towards. the demifiend can liberate his and other universes from the cycle of death and rebirth, but that’s only if yhvh is defeated and, by extension, the great will. the great will has appeared before in megaten and isn’t actually a being, more a concept, only able to be fought in a comprehensible state. it’s literally existence itself. who knows what’ll happen if someone kills off existence?
gonna be completely honest, this is probably my new favorite mainline game. there’s a lot to it that i keep discovering and loving. (also on like a fandom standpoint i haven’t had a bad experience with the nocturne side yet/haven’t seen much of the toxicity so i’m biased lol). actually fucking slaps. it’s not perfect and some of it is more learning to love than love at first sight, but dammit it’s good.
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The amount of inspiration and motivation you give me is CRAZY. I always gotta manifest that you posted something before opening this site because I wanna see your stuff so bad.. can you tell I'm a BIG lover of your art and plot............
Literally HOW do you make your AU's SO GOOD?!?!?! (I'm trying to make my own ateez AU and I rlly don't know where to start.....)
HI OMG! This is so adorable 😭😭😭 I really appreciate messages like this!!
As for how I make my AUs/how I approach AUs,,, honestly I think I’ve just consumed so much content in my youth plus my aspirations to work in the animation industry have made me kind of understand storytelling to a degree, so I think it’s fun to take some ideas from content I like and change it to make a whole new story
Like for AT AU obviously there is no Adventure Time character that will perfectly align personality wise with a member of Ateez, so instead of wildly changing someone to force them into the exact role of Princess Bubblegum for example, or make someone Jake, I just take ideas from the series that I really enjoyed (post apocalypse, magic, cursed character, platonic familial relationships complicated backstories and potentially morally grey characters) and then let that inspire me to relate it to in this case, Ateez.
For Mafia au I had a lot of help brainstorming that but I think the root of ideas comes from maybe like. I see a picture and I do a doodle. Then my brain thinks of other things I kind of know/want to see within that world. I drew Jongho and Mingi in mafia au before anyone else and before it was a big au with fics to go with it. After the drawing I kept having more ideas and then @nnnnnnnothingtoseehere had ideas and suddenly it grew. I watched a lot of mafia/crime movies/series during the pandemic tbh so I had lots of inspiration. AUs like this are fun cus while AT AU directly is inspired by a pre-existing series, this AU is just based on an idea and there are a bunch of sources of inspiration!
Then for my Cowboy au that’s kind of like. My own little project. I’m kind of thinking I may eventually change designs around to make it not an au but an original “project” just for something to put in my portfolio. Of if people really liked it maybe I’d do something with it. But sometimes the beauty of an AU over an original project is people already know and love the characters which takes a lot of the work presenting new characters and hoping people enjoy them. Anyways, yea for this AU as it is rn, it’s just born out of my love for the western aesthetic. Also during the pandemic I watched a ton of spaghetti westerns as well as newer westerns and I found I just really love the vibe. Even when I don’t love the movie it’s really the vibe that I enjoy, couldn’t really explain why haha 🥲. I then realized I strongly dislike drawing horses and in fact (controversial opinion but it is my own) I’m not really a big fan of horses so I thought I’d lose interest quickly if I had to force myself to draw horses for certain drawings. I decided to do motorcycles instead just cus I thought it’d be more enjoyable for me to learn how to draw that than horses lol. So then the AU became lik the. Futuristic Cowboys and then that’s how it got the way it currently is
As for making the story it definitely helps to have someone to riff off sometimes. I thought of most the ideas for AT AU story wise by myself but when I was first coming up with it I was sharing all of my ideas with my younger sister, and occasionally she’d get an idea too, or expand on something a little bit. I don’t really know how to explain the way I come up with the overall story I think I just decide on a bunch of bullet points that I want to happen just ideas in the void. Then I think of major plot points I want to happen. Then I think of dynamics of characters. Then I just start organizing those ideas. Not necessarily in that order but those are the kind of starting points I guess!!
That was a long explanation haha I’m sorry! Hopefully it helps a little! Good luck making some fun AUs!!
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Matchup???
hihihihi, I’m Gray, yes like the color/colour. I’m Agender(afab) and use any pronouns, I’m ace and on the arospec (I think I’m lithioromantic?) Ive had 3 crushes, 1 fem, 1 nb, 1 male. If you’re doing romantic, I do tend to have a preference towards masc people.
I’m honestly pretty average, I’m very middle energy between chill and energetic, it fluctuates depending on who I’m with. I’m an ISFJ 9w1 if that helps. I am the therapist friend and sometimes the mom friend. I am very much a listener, if someone starts ranting I’ll listen intently through it all even if it’s for 4 hours. I have gotten so many hyperfixations that way. I have generalized anxiety disorder (gad) and im currently being tested for adhd.
I’m fine with romantic or platonic, if you want to you can do both
My hobbies include piano, I’m currently learning Duet from Omori, Art, I usually sketch characters don’t usually do big projects unless it’s for a class, baking, I tend to make brownies and cookies, though I can make other stuff like cake, and this isn’t really a hobby but sleeping, I love sleeping(which is weird because I either sleep really fast or I don’t sleep til 6am)
I like my friends, art, rain, comfy clothes like hoodies and sweaters, music, my favorite artists at the moment are Jack Stauber and Khai Dreams, dreaming, reading, puzzles, sudoku, plushies, sleeping, butterflies, Arctic foxes, kittens, fictional characters, and fandoms, some of those include dhmis, hh, interloper(arg), home safety hotline, etc. Some things I dislike are really tight clothing, being yelled at, harsh criticism with no compliment of what I did do good, being left out, feeling lonely, overthinking, my face, specifically my nose, mouth and forehead, pushing people away, ghosting people, and confrontation is a big one.
If you’re doing romantic, please don’t ship me with Angel Dust, I see him in a very brotherly sense. Similarly with husk.
I have listed characters before that I simp over and usually it’s either stoic and kind of cold or excitable and kinda babygirl vibes (I don’t know how else to describe it) and I already said above that I tend to have a preference towards masc
Something else that I could add is I do tend to have a trope I like? I don’t know if it means anything but I’m in love with rude or some other kind of negative adjective but has a soft spot for that one person and soulmate aus but that’s something else.
-Gray🦋
Hey Gray! So sorry for the delay, your matchup is finally here though! I decided to go with a platonic matchup c:
I match you with...
Charlie!
· You seem like a very wholesome person, so I personally think that Charlie would be a great friend for you, being equally amiable!
· She’s your number one supporter and she tries to help you ease your anxiety on particularly bad days; she reassures you that you don’t need to match her energy all the time, and that it’s okay if you feel anxious, she will try her best to be there for you and help.
· She might need some guidance as well, being in charge of the Hotel and all. This is where your mom friend side comes in; she greatly appreciates that you try to help her back, and that you listen to her in times of need. Sometimes she just needs to let it out to figure out what to do next, and you’re the person she goes to for it.
· You will also get to listen to her rants for hours! No matter what they’re about. They will mostly be about the Hotel and how she can improve the quality of life in it, but she will ask your opinions on it as well, and occasionally rant about her interests too. She of course loves listening to you as well, so don’t hesitate to rant back!
· Charlie loves that you like sketching, because she loves drawing too! You show each other what you make and she’s so happy to be sharing a hobby with you, where you can tell each other what you like about the other’s art and point out where to improve if needed. I feel like it’s more about the first thing though, as you both like doing it casually more than anything, so it’s a very positive experience!
· She also likes singing to the tunes of your piano; the others will stop by, mesmerized by your skill and her angelic voice.
· Charlie of course respects all of your dislikes; on your first day at the Hotel you inform her that you dislike tight clothing, and she makes you find a bunch of cosy and oversize clothes on your bed as a way to make you feel comfortable and welcomed.
· She also never makes you feel left out, and always includes you in every activity that she organizes whether it be with the other residents of the Hotel or as just a friend outing or hang out.
· She’s also not a big fan of confrontation, so she gets your dislike for it. If anything, you two can go through it together, and advise the other on how to handle it the best.
· She will also pull you out of your overthinking by coming up with some fun activity to do together; maybe you can give your favorite show a rewatch with her, or you can introduce her to all the plushies that you own- the possibilities are endless!
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin x reader#x reader#hazbin hotel#matchup#hazbin hotel matchup#charlie x reader#charlie morningstar#hazbin hotel charlie
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Every year on my birthday, I try to redraw an old piece of mine as a sort of present to all of you to celebrate! For this year, I've decided to redraw my very first commission ever! Plague Knight, but specifically in a cool pose! This was so much fun to revisit!
The original from 2019! It's hard to believe it's already been that long since I started doing freelance and commission stuff! This was very kindly commissioned by @ Jamix012 on twitter I believe. Thank you so much for taking a chance on me back then! I hope you appreciate the update
Right, and I also wanted to talk a little bit about life and what not really quick since I also don't think I did this last year. Yeah! Another year come and gone! That's wild. I'll be honest, things have been very tough lately especially with covid and stuff. I've been struggling a bit as things have just been pretty bad at home lately. But I'm pulling through and making it day by day. In particular lately I've been very self conscious about my art and skills lately. But I think the fact that stuff like Axel the Alligator can still come to me even now when I'm just feeling very low about my creativity and talent is a good sign that I do still have what it takes to come up with cool stuff I genuinely like. And also I particularly really wanted to just take some time to thank both SeafloorGames and CloudyGamesLLC for bringing me on board to their game projects over the past few years. While I'm sulking around about stuff I think it's completely flown over my head how wonderful it's been to actually get to work on two different indie games recently. Not only designing SUPER fun protagonists and other concepts for their games, but even getting to draw in game assets and learning various new skills along the way. It means a lot that both of them were willing to take a chance on me despite being unproven and I really haven't thanked them enough. These have both been a blast to work on, and moonlight pulse is, if i'm not mistaken, the first game not made for me where I designed a character for? Plus I realize that these games have already helped me achieve dreams of owning a toy of a character I designed and see fanart of something I designed. It's all happening in real time and when I take a step back from being so sad over silly stuff, it really is amazing to see and makes me extremely happy. So thank you again to both directors for having me as their drawing-guy and thank you all so much for all your love and support over the years! I'm hoping to get things moving again soon if possible and I hope you'll all be there to see me draw scalies for many years to come!!
#birthday project#redraw#shovel knight#plague knight#fanart#This was super fun to do!! I'll write the huge sappy birthday speech thing later
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Hi Luta!
Happy Holidays and I hope you get some time off to spend with your family!
I discovered your blog around KP era (I think?) and I just want to say you are amazing and I am so grateful for the deep dives you go into.
I have a question about MAME because I watched a few of her creations and people always mention that they hate her but I’ve never heard the whole story of why. Personally, most of the adaptations I’ve seen really resonate with me as there’s usually a traumatized character who I can see myself in. Latest example is PrapaiSky from LITA (I don’t have the trauma Sky does but I’m as severely traumatized just in a different way) and seeing how Prapai cared for him was super healing (or at the very least comforting in a projecting-myself-onto-characters kind of way). Is that the reason so many people hate her? Or does it have to do with consent? I think PrapaiSky were perfect with that but I’ve heard other stories have issues.
Sorry for my rambling and thank you! -MA
Hey MA!!!
Sorry that I didn't answer this last night. I stayed up writing and then was like, I can't answer this tonight if I wanna answer it properly.
I am off for the next several days, woot! I hope you and your family have an amazing holiday as well. 💜💜💜
Oh. You've been with me for a while then. Thank you!!! I appreciate it!!!
There are several reasons that people give for not liking MAMA.
They talk about the consent because they are completely unfamiliar with and respecting of the fact that not everyone likes vanilla sex. There are different ways of giving consent, but they are stuck in a black and white mentality. They are unwilling to learn about different people and their sexuality because, in their opinion, we are wrong. And that's that.
Too much sex. Which is unrealistic. Life is full of those that have a lot of sex, those who are just sexual, and asexuals. There is a full spectrum, and they should be represented. Take UWMA, Dean can barely get a kiss from Pharm while Win is banging it out with Team on a regular. This is realistic. So for people to be so prudish as to put down those of us who like intimacy. Regardless of what reason they give. It's essentially failing to recognize that people are different, and we should all be represented.
They think Queer media should be held to a higher standard than straight media. Because what if straight people use this to say, blah, blah, blah. That is an injustice to Queers. It's being ignorant of how equality is actually gained. Catering to the ones that have issues with you is not how you gain respect. Besides, it becomes problematic to only show nothing but perfection. Art is meant to make you feel and think. There is a movie called Pleasantville that I feel captures this concept really well.
They think that all things problematic should be canceled rather than seen as art and a discussion point. Cancel culture is the removal of allowing people to think for themselves. Acknowledging that people are culturally and fundamentally different, and we should be trying to find out why others think the way they do, versus canceling them. It's that black and white mindset again. Which anyone with an actual understanding of Psychology will tell you is a very dangerous way of thinking. When we cancel things and remove things that we deem "inappropriate" We remove the ability for critical thinking. And if we don't think for ourselves, who will?
This turned out to be a lot. 🤣🤣🤣 Hopefully you find it helpful.
#MAME isn't for everyone but she's for me#I want my queer media to be varied just like straight media#I do not want to be held to a higher standard of art#I want messy art that makes me think#luta opinions#luta question and answer#coconuts mafia
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Eggtober 12
Avocado Toast (Featuring Tomato and, of course, Fried Egg.)
Clip Studio Paint, Gouache Brush, Dry Gouache Brush, Airbrush (for the barely visible bread texture) and Freckle Pen (for the pepper.) 20 colors, 1 hour 30 minutes.
Took a little longer on this one because I spent an inordinate amount of time lovingly rendering the tomato that I knew no one was going to get to see in the final product. (Don’t worry, I saved it to another layer since @quezify said last time that he appreciated the peek behind the curtain.)
This was another request by a friend. I must say, I wake up every day excited to choose an egg from the many options I have available and just... have fun putting it down on (digital) paper. I’ve got some yammering about that, but since I’m already going to post a “behind the scenes” under the cut, I’ll shove the musings down there too.
As always, big thanks to the Egg Master Supreme, @quezify for organizing this. It’s wonderful to see so many people getting into art again or branching out and drawing eggs for the first time, all because one zany dude said to Tumblr “You know what? Let’s paint eggs for a month.” And enough of us said “Hell yeah” that I get to see so many different styles and mediums. Loving every moment of it!
(Art first, because LOOK AT THOSE TOMATOES! I love how they came out, I want to shove them in my mouth! AAAH!)
Now for the rambling musings.
I’m starting to get really comfortable with the gouache brush, a tool which I previously never used, and I’m also getting more comfortable with art in general. My usual process from childhood, when I did much more art, was to slap down pencil work on real life sheets of paper, line it in pen or photograph/scan it and upload it to my computer to line with the pen tool, and then just do everything with pen for bright, solid colors. Most of my other techniques were one off flukes, like the fire I did in my icon’s background.
And my newer process, as an adult who just started learning Clip Studio Paint, was fairly similar. (I just started with CSP recently because it came free with my newest tablet and my old standard, Photoshop Elements [I dunno the version, 7 maybe?], was too old and would resize on my new rig so all the buttons were SO GODDAMN SMALL it was a pain to use.) The only difference is that, as an adult who’s home more often than not, I skipped the paper. Sketch, linework with the pen tool, then color under the line art with pen. Or, for a certain other project, I color under the line art with the watercolor brush.
I’ve always wanted to try gouache because I’ve seen it worked with IRL and it’s got such pretty results! Opaque like acrylics and oils but flows like watercolor. I suppose it never occurred to me to look for it in the toolset. The last time I even used brushes meant to represent real media before CSP was when Corel Painter was a thing and I had it with my very first drawing tablet. And even then I didn’t use it often. I mostly used the watercolors because that was my favored medium IRL. But I quickly started to prefer Photoshop Elements which also came with my first tablet. And slowly I stopped using anything resembling traditional mediums. But I figured, hey, Eggtober is already a time for me to learn some new tricks and get some practice in, watercolor will look too translucent and it has a paper texture to it that I’m not sure I want. Let’s see if this thing has Gouache. And it did. And now it’s my favorite brush. The way it blends naturally, the ease of pressure controls so the opacity is easy to alter stroke by stroke. It feels like laying down real paints. Once I got used to how it behaved it just... clicked.
So yeah, now that I know how to work with it and now that I had the brain explosion necessary to figure out my new process of laying down the darkest colors first and working my way up, it was all too easy to go “Oh. I like laying down these colors. And instead of trying to predict where I’m going to put the avocado, I’m just going to draw the full tomatoes for fun and practice and then figure out the avocado slice placement.” And then I spent roughly 45 minutes just... adding detail to tomatoes. Because it was a genuine joy and I was smiling the whole time and I could just look at those juicy tomatoes forever.
So yeah, I know I say it every time, but I for real owe quezify everything for giving me a reason to pick up a new tool and learn and just have fun with it. Kicking my depression’s ass, my ADHD’s ass, my artblock’s ass, and my (lack of) motivation’s ass, all with the power of “Egg fun, draw egg.”
#Eggtober 2022#Eggtober 12#Fried Egg#Avocado Toast#Tomatoes#my art#I'm just having so much fun with art#For these last 12 days I've fallen into a world where depression doesn't exist and COVID isn't floating around outside#For the last 12 days I've lived in a magical world that's just egg#no bad things#no sadness#just egg#I love Eggtober
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Paint it Black (8) Finding
Robin disappeared three months ago. Now, Jump City's crime rate is mysteriously being taken care of by a normal, albeit strange, teenage boy who goes by the name Black. As the Titans befriend this lunatic, they begin to see a correlation between him and their missing leader. Will they be able to find Robin, or will Black turn them all insane as himself?
[Actually, does not contain an OC]
Ao3 | FF.net
Starfire and Black diligently worked in his room. Starfire set up a card table and some chairs. She spread her supplies out and allowed him to use what he wanted.
Black sang a sad and eerie song, as if it was a jaunty tune, complete with a small smile and little head bobs. “That there, that's not me. I go where I please. I walk through walls, I float down the Liffey. I'm not here.”
Starfire glanced at him, goosebumps prickling up on her skin.
“This isn't happening. I'm not here. I'm not here.”
“Your voice is most soothing. Do you enjoy singing?”
He looked at her confused. “Singing? Nah, I don’t sing.”
“But you were just––”
“Hey, look what I made!” He grinned, and held his project up to his face. It was a mask reminiscent of Robin’s, but instead of plain black, it was colored with crayons and had glitter on it. “Guess who I am? Wah wah wah Justice!”
The mask went up in embers as Starfire incinerated it with the eye beams. “That was neither flattering, nor amusing.”
“Hey!” He protested, gathering the little pieces left. “I worked hard on that!”
“Perhaps you should learn the art of, how Jinx would say, ‘reading the room’.”
Black looked around. “There’s no words in here, though.”
“I do not like mockery of my friends, especially my Robin.”
He tilted his head. “Your Robin? Oh! Were you guys a ‘thing’? What are they called, courting buddies?”
She looked downcast. “No, we were not. We were only good friends.”
“Then…he’s not really yours then, is he?”
She scowled at Black. “He had my heart, and still possesses it, wherever he is. Your flagrant disregard of this fact is cruel.”
He pooched his lips. “Golly Gee, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I was only trying to understand.”
“To put it in a way, he was my most trusted friend and advisor. He explained many things to me when I did not understand.”
“Like you’re doing for me?”
“I suppose you are correct. Your amnesia has put me in a place I was dependent on before.” She huffed, still upset. “I would prefer if we did not speak of Robin. It hurts my heart.”
“Okay okay,” he rolled his eyes.
“Star,” Cyborg called from the communicator. “Gizmo just arrived with the last video. Wanna see?”
“I do not know if I want to see it, but I need to. I shall be there momentarily.”
Black watched as she rose from the table. “Where ya going?”
“There has been…a break in the case with Robin. I am going to the ops room. Would you like to come?”
“Nah. I’m gonna keep working.”
All the better, Starfire thought bitterly. She was trying to be forgiving and friendly with Black, but knowledge of his deeds and seeing his actions in person made it hard.
Yes, he needed help, but perhaps the Titans were not the ones that should give it to him.
Starfire entered the ops room, spying Gizmo sitting on the couch with a soda. A Dr. Pepper. Those were Robin’s.
But she just silently took her place.
“Okay,” Raven acknowledged. “Where’s Black?”
“In his room,” Starfire said shortly. “He has hurt my feelings, and so I will leave him to his business.”
“Black? You mean the weird goth wannabe superhero we talked about last time? He lives here now?! Of course, what am I saying! You fart knockers take in whatever stray ‘hero’ you can find.”
“Is that not what the Hive does with villains?” Raven quirked a brow.
“UH. The HIVE is a school for supervillains. Totally different thing!”
“Sure, Gizmo.”
Beast Boy shifted into a cat once more and sat beside Star, knowing she appreciated the comfort he gave.
“Y’all ready?”
“The first two seconds got trimmed,” Gizmo explained. “That’s where the corruption was. The rest looked like it worked fine, but I only scrubbed it.”
“Thank you Gizmo,” Starfire said softly.
“Oh…yeah. Don’t mention it.”
When the video started, the camera was at an odd angle, mostly aimed at the ceiling, but they could see the top of the wall, and the underside of a face. The left side. Black hair, still the same gaunt cheeks and dark veins that stood out on his skin.
“Shall we start?...Just like we practiced…what did we practice for?...Because we’re sending it to our friends, stupid!”
“He’s…talking to himself,” Raven grimaced.
“I do not understand,” Starfire breathed. “That is Robin’s voice, and that is his face…but it is not.”
“So is it Robin or not?” Gizmo asked. “It’s one or the other!”
“I won't run away no more, I promise,” Robin’s chilling voice sang.
“There is something very wrong with him,” Starfire explained. “Some of the words he speaks, it is like a different person.”
“Like a person talking with a puppet,” Raven agreed.
“Even when I get bored, I promise. Even when you lock me out, I promise. I say my prayers every night, I promise.” There was heavy sorrow lacing his words, but he giggled at the end. “Yes, yes, that was good. They’ll like that!...You remember the next one?...Of course!” He tottled away from the camera, the top of his head coming into view every few frames or so. He was dancing. “I resent you calling. I resent your voice. I resent that I don't have a choice.” He was really getting into the song, and singing loudly and proudly. Not all the notes were right, but he had joy in his voice. “And yes I am! Yes I am!” He backed up, the back of his head and shoulders in view. He was wearing a hospital gown, so the skin of his back was exposed, and covered in marks.
Beast Boy shifted back into a boy, and stared at the video. He already had the first part of the message figured out.
“I think I've told you once, I think I needed advice. You were such a help, that's very nice. I think I've been here before…Yes I've been here before. But this time I kick down your door!” That last note was outrageously sour as he dissolved into playing the air guitar, complete with singing the notes he was pretending to play, “WWEEEE WWAANN WWAAAAHHH!” Then he started laughing as he dropped his arms. The laughter faded until he was just standing there.
“That was excessive…oh lighten up, would you? We sang it! We rocked it!...it doesn’t have to be a good performance…Why are you like this?...because you’re a massive doo-doo head and no one likes you!” He chuckled, before his shoulders dropped. “Okay,” he turned partially toward the camera. “Last one. Make it count.”
He started bobbing his head as he closed his eyes. His voice was soft, slightly seductive. “Troubled words of a troubled mind, I try to understand what is eating you. I try to stay awake, but it's 58 hours since that I last slept with you.” He started bouncing on his feet. “What are we coming to? I just don't know anymore. Blame it on the black star! Blame it on the falling sky! Blame it on the satellite that beams me home…”
Beast Boy let out a gasp of horror, “dude…”
“What?!”
He didn’t answer, just continued to watch it all unfold.
Robin was moving in a slow sway, his arms up. “I get on the train and I just stand about, now that I don't think of you. I keep falling over, I keep passing out when I see a face like you. What am I coming to? I'm gonna melt down…”
He started air guitaring again, putting his whole body into the song. “Blame it on the black star! Blame it on the falling sky! Blame it on the satellite that beams me home!” He threw his arms out to the side and screamed the last two lines. “This is killing me! This is killing me!”
The door on the other end of the room opened, but the group could only hear it.
“Having fun?” Said a new voice.
“Oh a lot! So so much!”
“I think you’re ready to graduate, Patient 8.”
“Yes! I knew it!” He whipped around towards the camera, fiddling with it to turn it off, but before the video ended, they all got a perfect shot of his face. Wild eyes, a meaty smile, and a horrible, bloody wound that tore through his right cheek, shoddily stitched and weeping.
When the footage went black, no one could move. No one breathed.
“BB…?” Cyborg asked in a tiny voice. “Did you get…?”
“Yeah,” Beast Boy breathed. “I Promise…Yes I am…Black Star.”
The door to the ops room swooshed open, and they all turned to look.
Black stood in the doorway, wearing another crudely made mask. “Hey guys, guess who I am?!”
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A playlist of all the songs sung in this fic is available here. *Mickey Mouse Voice* It's a secret clue that will help us later!
#fanfiction#teen titans#tt animated series#robin#starfire#robstar#dick grayson#dickkory#koriand'r#kori anders#paint it black
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WITHOUT STOPPING, ITS SHOWTIME!!
INBOX: CLOSED ! ★ F.A.Q. ★ DAILY CLICKS
DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU FALL UNDER THE BASIC DNI CRITERIA AND/OR ARE A PROSHIPPER. PLEASE GO AWAY.
★☆: ABOUT THE RINGMASTER!
☆ helloo my darling audience, i am the ringmaster of this silly little circus! my name is radio and i positively adore to edit! i speak english and spanish! I use any pronouns, you’re free to refer to me however you’d like, i dont really care too much. my main blog is @cowskulls and i typically interact from there!
although i do love to interact with the audience, i do, in fact, have a life outside this blog. so if i dont respond to asks, reblog promos, post requests, right away it is most likely because im busy! All i ask is that you remain calm, patient, and kind!
★☆: RULES OF THE CIRCUS!
★━ these are not in a particular order, but i do please ask you still read and respect them ★
☆ credit is incredibly appreciated and highly encouraged, but not necessary.* REBLOGING IS NECESSARY. Please make sure you reblog whatever you use to the blog you’re using it on. I do deeply appreciate credit but make sure to reblog as well. (*an exception to this is my PSDs, which do require credit.)
☆ please do not recolor or alter my edits in any way!!! :( you can, however, resize it/change file size
☆ when requesting, i only ask you to remember three things: 1. Be polite, i think that's fairly easy <3 2. Be as specific as you can.* You're free to give me creative freedom but if you want something specific, tell me! It's alright! I unfortunately can't read minds yet, so i’ll appreciate you telling me what you want. And 3. If your source is an unlisted source, please attempt to give me a link to any form of media or image gallery you have. Unfortunately, i can't scour the entire internet for pictures, so i appreciate help in finding stuff! (*see the next bullet for more on this.)
☆ when requesting, remember to include the character/s you’re requesting, the media theyre from (even if its a listed source!), and the type of edit you want along with any other specifics you want me to include (ex; size, website, colors, style, etc). If you dont specify, ill still make it, it just not might be exactly what you imagined! [NOTE: i tend to experiment randomly here and there, and will try new ways to do things over and over and i try to stay away from making my edits look like each other. But if you want an edit done like one ive done in the past, let me know! I’ll happily do that!]
☆ please try to refrain from sending requests early or late. I have a limit to requests for a reason, i’d rather you wait for the next batch to open and send it then.
☆ be kind, pretty please <3
★☆: CONCESSIONS!
★━ all the silly thingies i make ★
☆ i can edit icons, layouts, moodboards, graphics, gif sets, psds, and wallpapers!* if something you want is not on this list, feel free to request anyways, just know there’s a more likely chance i’ll decline.
*this is updated at times as i’m constantly learning!! woo knowledge!
★☆: NOT ALLOWED IN THE CIRCUS!
★━ things i will not edit! so a blacklist, as the cool kids call it ★
☆ dottore (genshin impact), mori (bsd), teruhashi makoto (saiki k), roblox, ninjago/lego, (too hard to edit :( ), real people (it is.,.a struggle), mha, hazbin hotel.
i also try to stay away from editing fanart as much as possible. if it’s officially commissioned art i might use it. but i try to stick to official stuff just out of preference. honestly, i’m a curious person and i like experimenting so there’s not much i won’t make lol.*
**that being said, i often decline things that i deeply do not enjoy OR that i just might not be able to edit right OR dont have enough media. i am a people pleaser at heart so i try to accept as much as i can, but i can only do so much lol
★☆: THE CIRCUS' FAVORITES!
★━ things i LOVE to edit! so a whitelist, as the cool kids call it ★
☆ vocaloid, project sekai, twisted wonderland, bandori, d4dj, saiki k, bungo stray dogs, cardcaptor sakura, madoka magica, genshin, honkai star rail, dungeon meshi, i can also edit things not listed here, but please ask before hand!*
*once again, remember, if your source is not a listed source, PLEASE send me a link to some sort of media gallery or even a wiki!!! sometimes i struggle finding media or differenciating characters, so pretty please just send me a link if possible!
SING THE NIGHT AWAY; STARDUST PARADE!!
#★━pinned!★#other tags:#★━ inbox ! ★#★━ my stuff! ★#event icons!#★━ reblog! ★#★━ promos! ★#★━ my posts!! ★#★━ answered! ★#radio’s fridge! ★#★━resources! ★#things i make:#layouts#icons#wallpapers#moodboards#graphics#gif sets#psds#replycons#stamps#and more wooo
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