wow david hasselhoff has a weird voice compared to everyone else

anyway tho like. now that ive played the 1.2 story and sat on it a bit id say my overall thoughts are def mixed. i enjoyed a lot of it but theres some things that sorta just stick out or dont work and the pacing definitely worked against the story

(just a long rant/ramble upcoming its not coherent at all lol)

one thing that rly rubbed me the wrong way was like. while overall this story rly sold fu xuan as a character to me (i was a huge fan of her presence overall) the dan shu thing just felt? wrong? and like to be clear it wasnt just fu xuan the scenes writing was off in general but her role in being the one countering dan shus points just made her p central to the problem.

but like my issue is that dan shu is previously established as having very understandable reasons behind her resentment of lan that made her compelling as twist villain imo. Yet that resolve was nowhere in the scene in her rebuttal of the xianzhous ways?? when i think that shouldve been The moment of her calling out the xianzhou and actually challenging fu xuan properly. it wouldve been an even better opportunity to expand upon how fu xuan responds to being confronted with the xianzhous flaws and hypocrisy and problems. but somehow yassified dan shu really just. had a generic villain speech and thats it. the callback to their heritage as former followers of abundance was... fine? but like it wasnt that impactful. and fu xuan essentially calling her nothing but a power hungry villain when thats very much Not what dan shus motivation boils down to sucks and now players who didnt read her diary or play/pay attention to her side quest will think of her as just a generic bad guy and not a very tragic complex figure of her own

then the like. underutilization of blade was just like. ok what was the point. it IS funny to reference the tuxedo mask meme and how he skewers his ex yet immediately gangs up with him against yanqing and all but honestly he shouldve gotten to be more feral and present than he did like its just meh. ig its kafka keeping him from messing up elios script but cmon. i want more of him. yanqing also got done so dirty in that scene like. he shouldve gotten some more screentime and focus even if his job was p much to just get bodied. kid just watched jing yuan make deals with criminals no way he isnt affected by it

in general i was p shocked how inexistent the high cloud quintet was from the story. but ig w how rushed the pacing was for dan hengs backstory reveals at times already ig its better left for later (hopefully). i just rly hope this means that the topic get its time to shine properly in the future. esp since im p sure they never even named any of dan fengs crimes outright which is a curious choice.

jing yuan got a rly solid characterization and i definitely enjoyed it!!! even if im a little miffed at how they didnt give dan heng enough breathing room to come to terms with the emotional impact of facing his past and memories thanks to the plot moving forward so fast and he was kinda the one leading that. but he was still great - i liked the scheming side to him and the arguably pretty ruthless way he leveraged dan hengs exile status to force his hand to cooperate a lot. his reasoning makes sense obvi but its still a very brutal and utilitarian approach and i like that energy for his character. his duty is to the luofu above all else even if thats far from all he is about. overall his and dan hengs interactions including dan heng very much emphasizing his desire to be seen as separate from dan feng were a highlight for sure. and jing yuans final showdown moment against phantylia slapped obviously

and then w dan heng im torn between like. really loving all the good stuff we got with the insane cutscenes and the vidyadhara echoes and then wishing that he got just that little bit more for his own realizations and inner conflict. and the part about not properly featuring blade also hurt his story too imo bc the anticlimactic nature of the scene where blade confronts him and forces the transformation and how he n kafka just... leave rly kinda flattens the impact of the reveal moment esp since thats when jing yuan just all but openly says ok time for the plot. but they still did a great job selling DHIL and i think im overall a fan of how they seem to have handled the dan feng vs dan heng thing (and its roughly what i was expecting). dan feng is dead but its never just that simple either. i hope theyll be exploring the exact nature of dan fengs sins and the sedition in the future

im so mad i spoiled myself the tingyun thing bc jfc the neck snap wouldve hit So hard if the reveal itself was also a complete surprise. and its sth that was genuinely well built up like i remember thinking her 1.0 dialogue was kinda sus but wouldve never imagined the actual truth. dont do leaks folks sometimes this happens and it sucks :/ but i have to say phantylia herself was kinda? underwhelming. i liked when she picked up jing yuan like a little bug she wanted to squish and the boss fight was cool but to be fair. this was like 50% bc of how bad the sound mixing was for all of her dialogue that overlapped w in game battle. she rly lacks the necessary menace and imposing energy when u can barely even make out what shes saying 😭 her voice shouldve been as loud and large as her..... Presence. jing yuan carried the boss fight and the final cutscene but man the fade to black rly didnt do the abrupt ending any favors like we just teleport to exalted sanctum and thats it???? maybe jing yuan dies maybe not!!!

overall my prime issue is p much just how like. it feels like they shoved 3-4 mini arcs worth of stuff into one speedrun when all of them deserved more focus and exploration and the pacing rly got rough at times. it wasnt like inazuma level bad but it does get me wondering if hoyos just bad at doing these big conclusions to prior build up and holding the story threads tightly together until the end.

this comes off as super negative helpp but like. by no means did i hate all of it so dont take it the wrong way lmao. its more that there was good stuff there but also wasted potential. for the most part i was having a blast but to be fair that was 40% just playing blade ridiculously underleveled through it all. i only got him to lvl 80 for the boss fight

niagara falls pt.2

TW: smut, titty sucking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral (female receiving), multiple orgasms, and a bit of discussion about feelings and mushy gushy stuff

Summary - spencer uses this time to partially make up for his words to you, and you discuss your future with him.

WC - 3,838

you don’t rly need to read pt 1 to understand this... just know spencer’s making up for some things he said to you before you ran away to travel for a while.

masterlist

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"you're still wearing my sweater," spencer said as he met your collarbone with his antics, pushing it slightly off your shoulder so he had more room to work.

"i uhh- i am wea-wearing your sweater," you huffed out, your hand trailing back to his neck so you could pull him to your lips.

you both moved with a fervent you weren't aware you had until now. his hands moved from your waist to your jaw, tracing every inch of your body to commit it to memory.

"it looks better on you," he said against your lips, his hands moving down your back to your thighs, lifting them so you could wrap your legs around his waist.

"spencer!" you giggled at his sudden eagerness as he walked the two of you over to the bed, gently laying you down.

you started to remove the sweater yourself, only for spencer to stop you with his hands covering yours at the hem of his shirt.

"let me... please," he said before you nodded. he slowly drug the fabric up and off your torso, you leaned up so you could throw it over your head. "i've wanted to see you like this for as long as i can remember," he hummed before connected your lips once again, his hands finding your now bare waist underneath him, admiring how the white lace contrasted with your skin.

"please, spencer," you begged as your hips began to buck up, looking for any source of friction.

"i'm taking my time, princess," he moved a strand of hair out of your face softly. "let me worship you like you deserve," he whispered, wanting to take this moment as slow as he could as to make sure it's real.

he began kissing down your neck again, sucking on your collarbone to surely leave any marks he could. his mouth trailed down your body, meeting the tops of your breasts. he reached his arms around you to make contact with the clasp, looking into your eyes for approval.

"is this what you want?"

"yes. i-i want this... so much," you announced, allowing him to unclasp your bra and connect his lips with your breast.

he kissed the top slowly, going all around one of them while his hand began gently massaging the other. his tongue traced your nipple before his lips wrapped around it, sucking lightly. your hands found his hair and shoulder as he kept up this pattern with alternating between each breast, massaging and kissing and sucking.

the room began to fill with your moans and angelic noises, spencer found himself wishing he would live in this beautiful moment forever. you tugged gently on his hair, eliciting a moan from him this time, the vibrations carrying through to your chest.

"oh my god, spence," you praised. "i-it feels so good," you began to feel the pit of pleasure building in your stomach, much to your surprise.

you had heard about women who could orgasm from nipple stimulation, but you had never had a partner who was even willing to try. now you were rather curious...

"d-don't stop. please, please, please don't stop!" you begged as his free hand began massaging the breast his lips were working on.

your back arched off the bed, your hands pulled spencer impossibly close to your body, wanting to feel every inch of him against you. you felt spencer smiling against your breast but you didn't even care, the wave of pleasure rushing over you and hitting you like a cyclone.

"spencer! yes! fuuckk!" you yelled, still coming down from your high as spencer lead you through it.

"wow, y/n," spencer awed as he made his way back up your body. "i didn't know you'd be able to do that," he said with a smug grin on his face.

"i didn't either," you huffed out. "i mean, i've never really tried, but i had no idea."

"i'm glad i'm the one that figured it out with you then," he relished. "i'm going to be entirely focused on you... and your pleasure today," spencer admitted.

"why?" you were baffled at the admission.

you had been with two other guys sexually, and you could say that neither of them had ever been so... generous as to let you be the focus of attention. let alone give you more than one orgasm.

"did you seriously just ask me why?" he questioned. "let's just think of this as the beginning of my apology," he smirked, looking into your eyes with both lust and endearment.

"am i one lucky lady or what?" you giggled, a small grin plastered on your face caused by the man in front of you. "but what if i want to... help you out?"

"oh believe me..." he chuckled. "you're more than helping me out by just laying there... looking how you look," he smiled, eyeing your body up and down.

"okayyy," you rolled your eyes. "whatever you say, genius."

"good. because that's how this is going to work right now," he said, his personality switching to that of a dominant one.

his hands trailed down to the waistband of your pants. you lifted your hips to help him take them off. when he noticed your choice of white lace underwear, he found himself wishing he hadn't taken your bra off.

"fuck, y/n," he sighed out, absolutely smitten with everything about you. "it's like you're trying to kill me." he announced before making his lips attach to your torso, trailing down.

you didn't know what he was doing at first. to you, he was just kissing your stomach. but then you realized that he was trailing down to your heat, you got nervous.

"y-you don't have to uhm... do that," you said, leaning up on your forearms to see him more clearly.

"you mean..." he placed his hands on your lace clad hips, you nodded. "princess, i've dreamt of how you'd taste on my tongue. i'm not missing out on that now," he practically demanded.

if you truly didn't want to do that, you knew spencer would stop. you just didn't want him to do something he didn't want.

"oh, uhm... okay," you agreed, rather eager of how this would feel for you.

"has nobody ever eaten you out before?" he questioned. you pursed your lips together and bit your bottom one before shaking your head no. "the guys you've been with must be absolutely insane. are you okay if i do that?" you nodded your head yes. "words, princess," he moved his hand to cup your face. "i need words."

"yes. yes it's okay if you... eatmeout," you blushed at the admission.

"thank god," he laughed before slowly pulling your panties down your legs and throwing them off the bed.

he spread your bent legs so he could place himself between them, his arms wrapped around your thighs and meeting back around your heat, spreading your pussy lips.

"fuuck... your pussy's so fucking pretty," he said, a finger trailing up your soaking slit. "and wet," he smirked.

your head leaned back as your body was still propped up on your forearms, a small moan leaving your mouth from the little contact he's made.

when your head tilted back up, he made eye contact with you as his tongue made a flat swipe up your pussy, collecting some of your juices.

"mmmm," you moaned, already enjoying the feeling of his tongue on your body.

"i could say the same, princess," he smiled widely. "you taste better than any meal i've had in ages," he admitted a with a grin before focusing on you again.

he pushed his tongue into your hole gently, tasting the inside of you, going in and out in a pattern before moving his tongue further up. he flicked it over your clit, over and over and over, your moans vibrating out into the room only spurring him on even more.

your hand found his hair, pushing him closer to your heat, your hips moving in a way to get more friction. he wrapped his lips around your clit before gently sucking it between his teeth, his tongue still moving back and forth over it.

"yes! just like that! yes!!" you exclaimed, your hand still pushing him closer to you.

he moved one of his hands from around your thighs and slowly entered a finger to your heat, sending your head flying back in pleasure.

"fuck!"

he began pushing his finger in and out of your pussy, curling them once they entered about two inches, adding another after he felt you were ready.

"right there! right fucking there, spencer! yes!" you cried out, tugging gently on his curls, a moan rippling through his body right onto your clit. "i'm so close! i'm so fucking close! please don't stop! please..." you trailed off as he became more aggressive in his actions.

he began pumping his fingers in and out at an impossible pace, still curling them at that soft rigid spot inside you. his tongue began flicking even quicker, sending you right over the edge into a pit of euphoria, your pussy clenching around his long fingers.

"spencer fucking reid! yes!!" you threw your head back as his eyes never left your face. "oh my god..." you said as he worked you through your orgasm.

you leaned up completely, looking at him in complete awe from how the man just made you feel. you placed your hands on both sides of his face, crashing his lips into yours. you could taste yourself on him as your tongues met.

when he pulled back, he wiped his chin from your juices and sucked them off of his fingers, never breaking eye contact from you.

"yea they were really missing out on that," spencer said with a wide grin.

"i think i've been missing out. and i'm also very aware about how... naked i am and how clothed you are," you raised your eyebrows suggestively. spencer just stared at you. "please, babes?" you asked with puppy dog eyes and pursed lips. spencer's heart welled at the nickname.

"since you asked so nicely," he said, connecting you lips once more as your arms went to his chest, beginning to unbutton hit shirt one by one. when you got halfway down, you felt his breath hitch, he was nervous.

"spencer... what is it?" you pulled back slowly, looking into his eyes. he began to close himself off, not looking you in the eyes. "you're feeling insecure," you stated, your hands finding his face again to meet his eyes with yours. "you, spencer walter reid, are the most attractive man i've probably ever laid eyes on. your eyes, your lips," you kissed him. "your hair," you ran a hand through his locks. "and your body," you traced his torso with your hands feather lightly.

"i'm just... not as muscular as your past boyfriends. i don't... i don't look like other guys you've been with," he sighed, looking back at his hands in his lap.

"spencer. you just made me orgasm twice in the past what? twenty minutes?" you baffled. "my past boyfriends have had trouble making me do that even once. you... are unbelievable," you complimented, ending it with a deep kiss. "besides, even if you were the ugliest guy on earth, i'd still love you and be attracted to you because you're you."

"thank you, y/n. i love you, too," he kissed the tip of your nose. "now... back to you," he said, placing a hand on the small of your back to lay you down, him hovering over you.

"such a gentleman," you said, finishing undoing his buttons as he shrugged the shirt off. "absolutely beautiful, spence."

it's not like you haven't seen his body before. you've been best friends for as long as you could remember and have seen him in nothing but a towel before. then again, you haven't seen him like that in this kind of setting before.

and spencer knows you don't care about that. he knows that you'd never judge him from his looks or his body, but he wants to be good enough for you, which is a major contradiction to the fact that he believes that nobody will ever deserve you.

he began fervently kissing you again, his tongue delving into your mouth with a hunger that couldn't ever be satiated. your hands traced the stubble on his face as his were propped at your head to keep him from falling over. you moved one of your hands to begin undoing the button on his pants eagerly, a chuckle emitting from him.

once you got it undone, he helped you pull both his pants and underwear down, leaving his bare erection against your thigh.

"oh," you said with a sly grin, a hand reaching down to begin stroking his length, a low moan leaving his mouth as your lips found his.

you quickly rolled the two of you over to put yourself on top. you straddled his hips on all fours, trailing kisses down his cheek, jaw, neck, torso, making your way to his rock hard cock.

you took his length in your hands, eyeing the noticeable length to it. he was perfect. he was long, but not too long to where it would kill you to take him, and thick, but not so thick that he would stretch you beyond belief.

you placed a gentle kiss to the tip which was already leaking with precum. you found the most prominent vein in his member before tracing it with your tongue, being sure to use light touches.

spencer was already squirming in the bed, in disbelief from the wonders your mouth could do already. lowly sighs and moans were leaving his mouth periodic with your movements.

you slowly lowered your mouth on his cock, paying special attention to the tip as you got further down. you moved your mouth up and down at a slow pace, keeping your eyes on spencer and how beautiful he looked with his slower breaths.

eventually, he couldn't stand just being inside your mouth. he wanted to be even closer to you. inside of you. he took hold of your jaw and pulled you back up his body, taking your lips in his.

"you're fucking amazing," spencer sighed into your mouth, taking note of the smile he felt against his own lips.

"yea?" he nodded as he smashed your lips together again before flipping the two of you over. you grabbed his hard cock and lined him up with your entrance.

"are you sure you want this?" spencer asked with care, stroking the hair on the side of your face.

"yes. yes i want it," you nodded eagerly.

spencer slowly entered his member into you, taking pleasure from the way your face contorted in pleasure. he took his time to fully sheath himself into you, allowing you the time you needed to adjust to his length.

you moved one hand to his shoulder and the other to the back of his head as your mouth formed in the shape of an 'o'.

"oh my god, spencer," your fingernails dug into the skin on his back as your other hand tugged on his hair harshly.

"fuck... you're tight, princess," he said as he began to slowly move out of you, only leaving the tip in before thrusting back inside, leading a moan from your mouth.

"i-i..." you trialed off, unable to speak from the pleasure you were feeling. "i... ohh,"" you mumbled.

"does it feel good? yea?" he asked you, one of his hands grasping your breast and massaging it gently. you couldn't say anything, you were speechless. you laid there with your mouth ajar as his thrusts continued at a leisurely pace. "can you not say anything? does my dick render you speechless, princess?" he teased.

"uh... huh," you squeaked as his mouth latched onto your nipple, his pace steadily increasing. "s-spen... ohhhh," you awed, feeling the pit in your stomach welling up again.

"fuck you feel so good," he mumbled on your breast as his hand began to gently and quickly circle your clit.

so many things were going on at once; the clitoral stimulation, the penetration, the nipple stimulation. you felt an overwhelming sense of pleasure rising up inside of you.

before you knew it, you were falling over the waterfall of pure ecstasy, taking spencer over the water with you.

spencer continued his thrusts a few more times, relishing in the way your pussy clenched around his member. you felt the spread of his own excitement cover your walls, a sensation you never want to forget as long as you lived.

"fuck..." spencer breathed out.

"mmhmm," you agreed, still unable to form a sentence from the pleasure you just experienced.

spencer slowly pulled out of you, trying his best not to hurt your still sensitive body. you held onto his torso, not wanting to separate your body from his.

"i'm going to carry you to the bathroom to clean you up. okay, princess?" spencer asked kindly, wiping your hairline that had a sheen of sweat built up.

"mmkay," you mumbled, wrapping your legs around him so he could pick you up koala style.

he set you down on the closed toilet, being sure to grab a clean washcloth and get it damp with warm water. he bent down on the floor in front of you, allowing your hands to grasp his shoulders for more stability.

he ran the washcloth over the trail of liquid running down your legs, being sure to use a gently touch once he got closer to your core. he ran the cloth over it softly, noticing the way your fingers dug into his back from the touch, the low hiss that exited through your nose.

"sorry, y/n/n. we just need to make sure you're all clean," he apologized, pulling back to look into your tired eyes. "uhm, you should probably use the restroom in order to avoid getting a uti," spencer informed you.

"never change, spencer reid. never change," you giggled, taking a deep breath in order to help your breathing. "and you're very right about those uti's. i should really go pee now," you looked into his eyes, him still not moving. "which means privacy, spence," you giggled, once again, noticing the smile that appeared onto his face.

"right," he laughed, patting your knee before standing back up and exiting the bathroom.

you did your business, and washed your hands before exiting the bathroom with a smile. you walked out of the bathroom, finding spencer in nothing but his boxers, sitting on the bed. you walked over to the bed and sat on spencer's lap, your knees bent and placed on the bed, straddling his legs.

spencer's arms hugged your torso, his eyes tried to avoid your still naked state. your hands went around his body, underneath his arms and bringing him into a tight hug.

"i'm sorry i ran away, spence. i should've talked to you about how that made me feel," you whispered into his ear.

"no, you shouldn't be sorry. i'm sorry. i knew about you past and i still said those thing to you," spencer sighed as his arms grip slightly tightened on you. "you drank because of me, y/n. i-i can't ever tell you how sorry i am for that."

"i know you're sorry, spence. i know," you breathed in his scent, relishing in the smell of sex and fresh laundry that remained on him. "maybe we could go to niagara falls together tomorrow?" you leaned back to look him in the eyes, taking note of his smile. "y'know, since we originally wanted to go to these places together anyway?"

"i uhm," spencer laughed, "i would love to, y/n."

"yaayyy!" you squealed, connecting your lips together passionately, managing to knock spencer over, him now laying on the bed. "i'm excited!!"

"me too. i can't wait," he smiled, moving a strand of your hair out of your face.

spencer still couldn't believe you loved him. he couldn't believe how lucky he was. you were perfect in every way, shape, and form.

the way you knew that after a tough case, he wouldn't want to talk about it. you would just hold him, and let him fall asleep on his chest.

the way you laughed at his terrible jokes, even if you didn't fully understand it. you tried your best to make him feel normal, and you succeeded in making him feel normal.

the way you listened to his rambling when he found something fascinating. you would always go up to him after the rest of the team shushed him, and asked him to continue what he was saying.

and your beauty was unprecedented to him. your bone structure that looked magnificent in every kind of light, every curve on your body - even the ones you were insecure about, the squinting of your eye when you laugh... everything.

"you okay, smartypants?" you asked, rolling off of his body and laying beside him. you propped your arm up so your head could rest in your hand as you looked at spencer.

"yea, i'm all good," the brown haired man said, turning to face you on his side. he draped his hand over your waist, bringing your body closer to his. "i'm just glad i'm here with you."

"i'm glad you're here too," you smiled, hugging him in return. "can we go to sleep now? i'm too tired to do anything right now," you giggled.

it was now dark outside, your hotel room window being able to display the darkness in a way that made it look like a beautiful painting. it was full of bright stars of different hues, pink, gold, and white, the moon shone into the window, perfectly illuminating the sculptures of the buildings outside the room.

"of course we can. anything you want, bubs," he grinned brightly. "i have one request to make," he began with a sly smile.

"you wanna lay on my chest?" you chuckled as he nodded eagerly. you opened your arms for him to lay on you. "come here, ya big baby."

spencer snuggled up into your arms, your bare chest acting like the best pillows in the world in his mind. you ran your hands through his hair as he nuzzled further into your embrace.

"do you think it'll be like this when we get back home?" spencer asked with a sense of yearning.

"umm, i don't know," and you didn't know. you didn't know if this is what life would be like with him. you didn't know if you were even ready for a life with him. "it could be, i suppose," you shrugged.

spencer picked up on the nerves the question brought you. the way your breath picked up and your heart rate sped slightly.

"i-is this what you want? u-us, i mean?" he wearily asked, afraid of what your answer might be.

"i've loved you for a long time, spence," you took a deep breath. "i just wish we didn't have to worry about the bureau or about the team and what they'd think."

"so let's not care what they think. we love each other... shouldn't that be enough?"

"it is enough. i promise," you kissed the top of his forehead. "i do want us."

"good," spencer smiled against your body. "goodnight, y/n. i love you."

"i love you."

We hit 400 so here’s a- ✨ DREAM APPRECIATION ESSAY ✨

(by Yours Truly. Much thanks to the one, innocent anon who just wanted to ask a small talk question but hit my serotonin-providing hyperfixation.)

1. Self-esteem

I love the way he’s confident in his abilities when it’s become such a “trend” to either be completely and utterly self-depricating about your own skills out of fear of being labelled an asshole or overconfident nowadays.

At the same time you can still tell he doesn’t want to pull anyone down ever, and will always be really careful with that and take every oppertunity to lift up the people around him. Dream has a very emotional voice that gives him away a lot, so you can really tell he genuinely admires the people around him and he’s never afraid to say that they could totally easily beat him in something if he doesn’t have practice with it.

He tends to be a bit too hard on himself, so his friends always encourage him in his abilities, and that’s just. So nice. He celebrates his victories! He gets so so excited and happy when he wins in the manhunts, and I think celebrating your hard-earned victories isn’t something that should be villanized.

He won, and we should KNOW by now that doesn’t mean he thinks he’s somehow better than everyone. He has a pretty good eye on his abilities, and that allows him to really use them to the max.

2. Morality

He isn’t afraid to change the game! His adhd picks out a Cool New Thing and he just goes, You know what? Why not! His adhd goes “do this thing repeatedly another 3847 times” and he’s like, yeah sure!

Nobody expected him to release a song, but he just went for it! He’s been speedrunning so much, but he isn’t afraid to stream it every day 5 days in a row for hours while his friends bicker in the background.

Dream genuinely does the things he finds fun, but at the same time puts in so much effort to make them good and entertaining to watch and never forgets about his viewers.

He’s kidfriendly because he wants to be! Fame-wise, at this point he could definitly swear more if he wanted to (and he does when in other people’s content who don’t care about swearing), but despite that he doesn’t swear on his main because he wants his content to be accessable for everyone.

Sure, on one hand it could be for clout/money, but consider: Dream doesn’t stream the DSMP because he doesn’t want to take attention away from other people. He participates in the videos of his friends. He lets compilation channels and the like do whatever they want and even monetize his content. He lets his friends stream Road Trip on twitch as much as they want for free.

Dream doesn’t not swear just for his fanbase, but he does it because he has so so much respect for people. No matter how high he goes, he’s always consciously focused on respecting and admiring the people around him.

He has genuine respect for creators so much smaller than him, and he has respect for people in his fanbase that are younger than him. He isn’t afraid to go against the norm and STAND for that, either (see the video where he defends his stans).

And he defends his friends so much too! So much so it could almost be a little bit of a flaw sometimes, but I feel like he truly wants to learn from his mistakes. He apologizes for things even when nobody asked him to, and that just shows that he does it out of genuine guilt and fear of hurting someone.

He’s always seemed like someone who is genuinely willing to change to be a better version of himself, who isn’t afraid to challenge what he thinks and what other people think and what the norm thinks in order to improve everything for everyone.

Dream also doesn’t let any of the fame get to his head! As I said before - he’s confident in the things he’s good at, but in a way that doesn’t pull other people down, and he still remains firmly admirable of other people.

And even when OTHER people let fame get to their head (it was a while ago, but there was a video he made about five block jumps, where he added in a clip of a video of another guy doing it complete with credit and link etc. The guy was 100% alright with it at first, but when his video started getting more views because Dream’s video blew up, he started accusing Dream of “stealing” his content (when dozens of other videos of the 5 block jump already existed, and Dream could’ve just put in a clip of himself doing the jump)),,, but he insisted in his reponse that fame gets to people’s heads sometimes, nobody should blame anybody, he genuinely was never upset at him and just said that this just... happens sometimes.

He’s a very forgiving person all around, in part due to being willing to challenge his own norms and give people the benefit of the doubt JUST in case he’s wrong. He lets people enjoy things so long as they aren’t hurting anybody, like allowing people to ship him w people who are also alright with shipping, but at the same time taking a hard stance on, say, how shipping minors is absolutely wrong and should not be done ever (and he’s right).

3. Fandom

He appreciates said fanart and fanworks as well! He thinks dnf fanart is cool and he even appreciates the fanfic part of his fandom, something many ccs wish to ignore or forget it exists altogether (and it IS ofc in their right to do so or be uncomfortable with such content!), but Dream sees the work put into it and how people find connections and friendships through the fandom and appreciates it all the same.

He loves his fandom. So much. But not in the overdone, fake-feeling way I’ve seen other ccs be,,,, he’s just. Quiet and shy and genuine about it but not afraid to defend it.

He’s said before - and I QUOTE - “If you send hate to people or have sent hate to people, in the form of hateful comments or DMs, you aren’t welcome in my fandom. You’re no fan of mine”, which is the HOTTEST take he’s ever uttered and I love that. He really just went and said that. And he’s right. I like that despite how he’s usually more held back and waits things out before taking a stance, he chose this topic to really take a hard stance on and not budge and stick to it.

Pmbata has also said that he believes his fans have his back no matter what!! And that he really loves them a lot!!! And I am!! Emotional!!!!

4. ND/Adhd

He has adhd which is something I relate to personally (I have it as well sdlkfj). He gets excited sometimes!! I love how he shows being fidgety in mc, always pacing and parcouring around,, the way that in manhunts you can SEE when he’s thinking or bouncing back and forth between two options,,, or the way he gets close to people in mc to laugh with them.... He shows so much with his movements by them being quick and daring and calculated (and it’s especially hilarious to watch other people react to it in the video “mc but three people control one player”, where he’s the one moving and Sapnap and George will gasp or go “Dream!!” in surprise when Dream was THIS close to falling off a ledge, but he just laughs sdlkfjsdf).

When he’s not moving around he stands perfectly, perfectly still (which, idk if thats what all adhd ppl have, but I know I have something similar? Like when I’m nervous I’ll sometimes just. Freeze in place. No movement at all). He’s just relatable sdkjf.

There was one Manhunt extra scenes where he,,,,, stims by clapping,,,,,, the lil excited clap in the background,,, I’m gonna cry. I’m so soft for excited Dream that one is such a comfort clip for me!

He also tends to stim by getting under trap doors and then jumping back out of them, or jumping up a block and then walking back down over and over (especially noticable in The Village Went Mad tftsmp episode, where they were all discussing who the murderer could be and he was the only one moving, hopping up the log and then running back down again).

Also it is. Really Soft when he starts rambling and overexplaining something. What’s even better is that George, who is usually present at such moments, will laugh a little at his antics, and Dream will automatically laugh with him.

5. Rp/Uplifting other ccs

Dream wasn’t all THAT into the rp at first, but his server has been so strongly supporting and giving attention to smaller creators that he’s since completely rolled along with it. Being a villain in the RP is a difficult role because you will, inevitable, as much as it is just roleplay and all scripted, always get some amount of dislike from people for it.

Despite that, he’s basicly the main big villain on his own server where he let a bunch of theater kids beat him up in character and imprison him on his OWN SERVER. He wasn’t as into the rp at first, but has obviously been practicing and joins every Tales of the SMP when he can, despite getting zero clout for it.

What Dream also tends to do is find small content creators, see their talent and lift them high. His entire discord server is dedicated to give smaller ccs a place to grow, and when he first found Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, etc., they were much much smaller than they are now. He truly wanted to help them make it big.

He’s also added Foolish Shark and Hannah onto the SMP, both much smaller ccs (not tiny, but you get what I mean), allowing them to grow. He doesn’t stream on his OWN SERVER. He let himself get imprisoned to let the good guys win on his OWN. SERVER. He’s willing to play the villain and everything.

An interesting thing though! A lot of people used to/still do clown on Dream a bit for his sometimes uncertain acting,,, but when he’s around people he knows well (Sapnap and George, Tubbo and Tommy) we’ve seen him go ALL OUT. I have the theory Dream might be genuinely afraid to accidentally be mean to someone in character and have them misinterpret it sldkfjsdf,,, so he’s rly careful when he goes into the rp, and sometimes even when he’s in it he goes quiet, especially with other people around.

But also the fact that he needs time to feel comfortable around ppl is,, a mood,,, and adorable,,, sdlfkjsdf-

Apparently he’s also shared his youtube algorithm secrets with Tommy?? Which he had only shared with Sapnap and George before?? Dream took one look at that chaotic kid and immedietly adopted him as his little brother. He literally got up super early to rp the prison visit. Idk about ya’ll but I would die for someone first and get up horribly early for them second-

6. Friends!!

Dream?? Considers so so many people his friends?? And despite having so many friends, he also has his few closest friends (George and Sapnap) whom he would absolutely die for in a heartbeat. He WILL defend them with everything he has and loves them so so much.

He listens to them and really, truly wants them to succeed. He respects them so much and will go OFF about how good they actually are and how talented they are and how important they are to him.

I can’t even COVER everything about how much he is SOULMATES with Gorg. They live in each others heads rent-free. He mentions him all the time. They get!! So happy when they’re around each other!!! Their voices get so soft,,

And I can’t even BEGIN to explain the energy of Sapnap and Dream just moving together permanently. Imagine moving together with your best friend. Like, permanently. Into one house. They’re best friends Your Honor,,,,

Also,, remember the Techno and Dream rivalry? And Dream has recently said that he’s hesitant to make a serious manhunt against Techno because he doesn’t want there to be any feud between them or have them be compared to each other. He said that while he absolutely wanted nothing more than to beat Techno at first, now that he knows him better he just wants to be friends with him. He wants to be FRIENDS. With his, essentially, mc RIVAL. Friendly rival, but still. He doesn’t even wanna fight Techno or have ppl compare them cause he,,, wants to be friends with him,,,,

7. Vulnerability

What I feel like really sets Dream apart from some other ccs for me is that he’s willing to be vulnerable. He will tell George he loves him. He defends his friends. He sounds so, so genuine when he tells his fandom that he loves them.

What’s just really rare to see, especially in male ccs, is that vulnerability. It’s becoming more acceptable as time goes on, but it’s certainly not easy, and a lot of people become and stay long-term fans BECAUSE they can see how genuine he is.

I know Dream looks up to Mr. Beast a lot, for example, but honestly? I think he’s a little better than Mr. Beast. Because he feels more genuine, more bound to what he believes is right. I’m sure Mr. Beast isn’t a bad content creator! But ultimately they have different target audiences and I’m very glad Dream is the way he is.

Less of that insecure masculinity and more willing to be vulnerable, to care about things, to get emotional and to encourage and uplift the people around him.

8. Pure Brainrot

Green boi has nice deep calm soothing voice. Little shy laugh. Wheeze laugh. Gorg live in his head rent-free. He lov friends. He lov block game. He good at block game,,, a little shy but confident,,, big heart,,,, soft voice,,,,, rambles sometimes....

He also Gender. He’s so gender. I don’t know how else to describe it. I want That. Whatever That is. My gender is Dreamwastaken

Can i request some nsfw headcanons for mantis shrimp? I read through your blog and let me just say: I'm a big fan. Btw if you dont wanna do them thats fine as well

Salt and pepper shrimp: nsfw alphabet

I did the whole alphabet bc? Why not! Side note I rly wanna write a fic going off my thoughts ab his experience level >:)

A - aftercare

Look, getting him to release you from his hold to go to the bathroom on a regular night is a battle enough. After sex? Phew I wish you luck. Might wanna just put some water on your night stand beforehand. You would be able to convince him to take a bath with you pretty easily though, he likes how the warm water feels very much. Make sure to cuddle him in the bath still, he's in a very vulnerable state right now and he really needs some good old tlc.

B- body parts

he’s got a weird fixation with your hands. He likes to compare hand sizes, whether your hands are bigger or smaller isn’t what he likes, he just likes to admire them. He loves sucking/biting your fingers while he’s got you in his lap. Lacing your fingers with his with one hand while bringing the other to his cheek, nuzzling into your hand while he bounces you on his cock.

On himself, there is tragically little that he genuinely likes. He views himself as a weapon, getting him to unlearn that will not be an easy process, trust me, Boston has tried. Complimenting his eyes does seem to make him a little more flustered than other praises, and he has a hard time staring you in the eye during sex…. maybe we can start there.

C - cum

His cum is pretty thin but there’s a shit ton of it. Enough that if he cums inside you swear you can feel the warmth as his cock pours rope and rope of his seed into you.

He doesn’t actually care where he cums, just ask him and he’ll comply.

inside you? sounds good.

On your back? Say less.

On the floor? You’re cleaning it, but sure.

He did discover he’s got an affinity for watching his cum on your tongue. I don’t know how you’d be able to swallow it all, but any attempt you make will be met with shrimp getting hard all over again.

D - dirty secret

He secretly thinks it’d be really hot for you to dom him. It’s gonna take a very long time before he’s comfortable letting you have that Linda control over him, just the thought of being tied up, hands behind his back while you praise him for being such a good boy, its a fantasy he’s visited on many sleepless nights.

E - experience

Nope. Nada. To be frank, I think he’s the definition of Demisexual, and he has yet to meet anyone besides Boston and the anti-human gang who he genuinely wants to get to know better. He definitely hasn’t met anyone who wants to get to know better for romantic reasons.

He doesn’t know enough about human customs to know that it can be embarrassing for someone to be inexperienced, but he does feel very very nervous the first few times. He’ll need a lot of reassurance, give him praise and he’s putty in your hands.

F - favorite position

I'm gonna be boring and say missionary. It’s simple, easy, and since he’s brand new to all of this it’s the least mentally overstimulating. He very much likes that he can see your face.

If he’s feeling extra spicy he might grab onto the inside of your knees and push you into the mating press, though he really only does this if he’s upset or jealous.

If you ask nicely he might let you sit in his lap, as a treat. Bouncing on his cock as he litters your chest with bite marks, what a treat it is <3

G - goofy

…. yea for sure definitely. He’s a real jokester.

On a serious note, he himself is not a goofy person whatsoever, but he would actually like it if you were. Outright making fun of him or harsh teasing is an immediate turn off, but light jokes to ease his nerves is for sure welcomed since he’s very tense the first few times.

Give him time and you might even catch him cracking a small joke himself, all the while giving you a weak, nervous smile.

H- hair

He doesn’t trim or shave anything lmao. He’s busy, and also doesn’t care literally at all. He’s got a thin happy trail that can be easy to miss since he's blonde.

He’s got the same energy with your body hair, he doesn’t care. If you do shave he might ask why, just out of curiosity. If your reason is insecurity, he’ll probably suggest you let it grow, he doesn’t care and he’s the only one who’ll ever see it lmao

I- intimacy

It’s an awkward “i hope to fuck I’m doing this right” kind of intimacy. He fumbles and messes up a lot, he might even accidentally miss when thrusting and end up just kinda rubbing himself on you but he’s really trying. Just from the fact he’s willing to try this at all with you is a big sign that he’s really trying his best to be as intimate as he can with you.

J- jerk off

Before meeting you, not a lot actually. He mostly just did it if he ever woke up from a wet dream and knew that if he didn’t take care of it now he’d never be able to get back to sleep.

After your first time together, his first time, he thinks back the immeasurable pleasure a lot, finding himself in need of relief a lot more than he ever did before. You are the catalyst to his drive, and you are also the only thing he can think about that can help him cum. It’s kinda sweet in a perverted way.

K- Kinks

He will bite you. It’s just so easy to bruise you and it makes your relationship status to others so obvious, he can’t just… not bite you.

Marking, going along with the biting kink. This goes both ways, he’d love for you to scratch at his back enough to leave red marks, to bite as his collarbone, grip his hips tight enough to bruise. He likes looking at the marks later, they remind him that he did good, he made you feel good, that’s all he really wants.

He doesn’t exactly have a breeding kink as much as this goes along with the marking aspect. Suggest to him that he cum deep inside you to mark your insides… he might give you 2-3 loads just to make sure you're nice and full, completely claimed.

He also kinda likes to make you cry. Overstimulating you to the point of tears gives him a sense of pride he hasn’t really felt before.

He really likes temperature play as well, dragging ice cubes and hot wax across your skin and watching you flinch and squirm just does something to him.

And of course, light bondage. He probably found out it was a thing after reading some kinda erotic fiction and immediately went to you like “why did you not tell me about this?????” He adores how to look all tied up and stuck, right in the palm of his hands. It makes him feel emotional as well, that you’re willing to give him such a powerful amount of control over you.

Last but not least, please praise him. During sex as well as day to day. Let him know he’s so pretty, he’s doing so good, he’s cock feels so so good, he might cum on the spot.

L- location

The first time he’d really need it to be in a secluded, safe area. He’s gotta feel comfy if he’s gonna get into the mood.

Every other time? Babes you’ve awakened a beast, he’ll get random spikes of “if I don’t at least try to fuck them I will scream”. You could be in the middle of a forest running from an axe wielding murderer and this horny bastard would still find a way to pull you aside and rail you against a tree.

There most likely isn’t a spot in your home that he hasn’t fucked you against.

Peaceful moment of washing dishes? Think again, he’s plopping you on the kitchen counter and diving to mouth at your neck.

Writing some papers? Just sit on his lap, you’ll feel much less stressed with his cock buried to the hilt, won’t you?

Doing laundry? Might have to rewash them cause now he’s using the clothes as a bed to fuck you on. He’ll apologize and help you fold them after they’re rewashed bc he feels bad lmao

M- motivation

Like I said, he’s set off by the smallest things. A little stretch, wiping some water off on your pants, humming a song, all of it can randomly make him feel the need to fuck you.

The most intense and quickest way to rile him up is either playing with his hair, or massaging his back. It starts out innocent but he just can’t take the thought of your pretty hands working so lovingly and not at least trying to reciprocate and make you feel good too.

N- no

No sharing. He doesn’t want someone else to see you, and he doesn’t want someone else to see him. It’s just not something he likes.

He also hates humiliation. He… would tolerate it if you asked for it, even if he doesn’t get why you’d want him to outright insult you. But for himself? Fuck no, he hates it so fuckin much. He’s a sensitive insecure puppy that wants your attention very badly, pls don’t hurt him like that :(

O- oral

Oh please give him oral. He’s begging. Well, he’d never outright beg but the way his eyes fixate on your mouth a lot is his way of silently pleading for you to wrap your lips around his cock. His soul ascends a little every time he sees his cum dribbling down your face, he might be even willing to make out with his cum still on your tongue.

As for giving, he’s got no clue what the hell he’s doing but he’s nervously eager to try. Guide him as best you can, he’s good at measuring your reactions so he can handle the rest. Tug on his hair a little bit if you wanna drive him crazy.

He’ll get a lot better with time, his eagerness to please however, does not leave him in the slightest.

P- pace

The first time? Slow and unsure, then he realizes “oh fuck this feels stupid good” and his pace becomes almost punishing. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, he’s unknowingly going deeper and harder than you've ever been dicked down in your life. If you want him to, somehow, go harder? Grab his hand and place it over your stomach to make him feel his cock enter you through your skin, his hand slides down to grip your hips and slams into you, wiggling his hips without withdrawing to gain some of his sanity back before he’s back to a punishing pace.

Q- quickies

Oh hell yea. He lives for them. Sudden moments of horniness come to him all the time and since this spike in desire is brand new, he hasn’t really… learned to live with it yet. He pulls you aside into closets and alleyways all the time, he can’t help that you feel so warm and snug :(

R- risk

He doesn’t exactly enjoy the thought of a voyeur, he really doesn’t want to share you with anyone. But… there is a deeper part of him that finds a sense of pride if someone were to hear you getting absolutely pounded by him, desperately crying out and whining for him to go deeper, even better if they were someone who pined for you….

S- stamina

Well, to be frank he cums pretty quickly. It’s all so brand new to him, he really can’t help it. Lucky for you, his refractory time is crazy low. He can cum once, watch you do some mindless motion you always do and he’s right back to being hard again in minutes.

T- toys

Not against it, but is again, brand new to all this shit. He’s very interested in using your own toys against you though. Would definetly use a vibrater to edge and overstim you. He’d be interested in a cock ring, only if you were willing to endure a vibrator while he fucks you, he doesn’t wanna be the only one struggling lmao

U- unfair

He can be, yea. He kinda likes edging you, but not as much as he likes overstimulating you.

He loves to hear how you beg under him when he’s pulling you so close to the edge, keeping you just far enough to drive you insane.

Overstimming though? The way you twitch and beg, how your chest heaves and your mouth hangs open into a silent scream, eyes shut tight and watering, now that’s the good shit.

V- volume

Doesn’t talk much, but for sure gives out a lot of groans. This is something he’s never felt before in his life, the first few times you're going to get a lot of whines and surprised yelps, check up on him and make sure he’s still doing alright, he’s just very nervous.

As he gets more comfortable, he gives you quiet praises and promises to make you feel good. He also groans quite a lot, but since his voice is deeper it can be hard to catch.

W- wild card

He really wants to try using his prosthetic arm for temperature play, he’s just not at all confident in himself enough to bring it up. He likes the thought of you jumping and squirming under his touch, for now he can just stick to wax play.

X- X Ray

Mans is actually pretty fuckin big. He’s got no idea how big he is though. If you were surprised and a little nervous about his size he’d be pretty confused, is there something wrong? Did you change your mind? The concept of him being well above average is something you’ll have to explain later. It boosts his ego quite bit, even if he’d never admit it.

Whine about him being too big and you can just see the pride swelling in his chest, giving you no mercy with his thrusts.

Y- yearning

Often. Very very often. He’d fuck you multiple times every day if he had the time. However, you’re both busy, and you’d probably get a UTI with how many times this man wants to dick you down lmao. He’s got his cock buried in you at least 4-5 times a week.

Z- zzz

Actually pretty quickly. Even if he prefers being in control during sex, he kinda likes being the little spoon as he drifts to sleep. Give him some soft praises about how well he did and he’s turning into jello in your hold.

beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

Magic In The Hamptons

~ part two, be kind ~ 

part one

Player: Mathew Barzal 

Words: around 3.3k 

Warnings: language?

Notes: wowowow, part one was so well received that I honestly just pray you folks enjoy. Anywho, she’s here and she’s unedited :-) 

Now it was just a game. How long does one wait to text someone back after they disappear for three weeks? You hadn’t thought much of it after week two. The first week you were a little down on yourself, spent a little too much time wondering what exactly was the problem? It was a constant topic of conversation amongst you, your girlfriends, your work friends, and Reese who all seemed to love to talk about your nonexistent love life. They also didn’t quite understand the magnitude of ‘professional hockey player’ who ghosted, it cut a little deeper than your regular ghosting. You felt like maybe the Islander wags’ advice wasn’t even worth it, you should’ve just gone home with him. Maybe he felt rejected, but you never outwardly said no? Right now you wished you had Grace’s number. An SOS text was what you really needed, and she seemed to really be clued in on Mat. This absolutely sucked, he decided after three weeks you were worth the text and it didn’t give your ego a boost at all. Something that Mat didn’t fail to do when you were together at the wedding. You were a big self love, forget about those who don’t want you kinda girl, but God you couldn’t help but want to text him immediately. Your heart sped up and the butterflies in your stomach kicked into overdrive after you saw the text. It wasn’t even a drunk text. It was a casual 3pm text message, which made it hit a little different.          “Maybe you could wait like...a week?” Reese said laying back on the couch in your studio apartment scrolling through his phone, not paying you any mind. He was great at getting you into this whole mess, taking you to a wedding you weren’t even invited to. Now he was here and unable to give you any sort of boy advice. At this point in your friendship you should’ve known, but you had no one else who understood the scenario. He was one of your best friends. His legs hanging over the armrest dangling along as you paced back and forth of the apartment, fuzzy socks sliding along the hardwood floor. “You know, I think this whole thing is dumb. Just answer the guy. He texted you for a reason.” The pout on your face said otherwise, you didn’t find this dumb at all. This was a serious matter. “I need more female friends. You are no help. Yesterday you called me a 6 with a personality!” You exclaimed, pushing his legs off the side of the couch making room for yourself to sit down. Throwing yourself onto the couch you feel into a slumped position. “I need someone well versed in hockey boy, you just aren’t cutting it.”        Within seconds Reese grabbed your phone off of the coffee table in front of you, unlocking your phone with great ease. It was moments like these where you regretted letting him know all of your passwords. The next moment happened in what felt like slow motion, but as soon as he picked up your phone you knew you were doomed. Reese was always like an older brother figure, someone who could embarrass you in less than a minute. Watching his fingers type away, you attempted to lunge for the phone but it was too late, you never thought he’d follow through with the action, but he did, locking the phone throwing it back at you on the couch. “Six’s with personalities deserve love too.. Or at least a hot hookup.”        (Y/N): three weeks and all you got is ‘hey’?        You shrieked reading over the text message Reese had sent to Mat in your honor. “Why would you do that? Are you stupid? Is your brain the size of a literal pea?” With that you saw the beginning and end of your short little fling. This was not part of the advice you got from Grace or any of the other girls. In no way would you ever text any male this, except for maybe Reese because he was an absolute moron. Best friend sabotage is what this would be considered. “Reese, I’m going to close my eyes and when I open them I want you to be out of this apartment, and you can only come back after you’ve bought me lots and lots of apology fries.” Eyes closed you heard footsteps, then your front door open, and close. All of it almost distracted you from the small ding that came from your phone with the screen lighting up to show one new text message. It’d hadn’t even been five minutes from ‘your’ original text. Your eyes sprung open, and that funny feeling in your stomach returned. Heart pounding, you picked the cell phone up off your lap letting out a deep sigh. Facial recognition unlocked it within seconds, but it wasn’t really fast enough. In your head you could only imagine the rude things Mat would say about how it was kind of him to even send you a text, or maybe the text would spring back at you because he decided to block your number.        Mat Barzal: haha, what r u up to?        Mat Barzal: down to chill?        You tried not to be instantaneous with your answer and play it a little bit cooler than his double text, which honestly brought a huge grin upon your face. Suddenly you felt as if your apartment was getting warmer, was it the flush brought upon by the texts or were you just getting more and more nervous? The idea of having to pick out a cute outfit and getting out of this old ratty hoodie seemed nearly impossible which added a special level of stress. Counting down from 60 very slowly you decided you would be able to answer his text, enough time had gone by to not seem overly interested. Internally rolling your eyes at yourself for thinking waiting a whole minute was some sort of accomplishment, slowly typing a reply.        (Y/N): sure, whats the move?        Mat Barzal: finishing up @ the rink, rly craving ice cream if ur cool with that?        (Y/N): lol cheat diet already? Sounds perf.        Mat Barzal: kk cool, drop me a pin. See u in an hour?        After sending Mat your location you liked his message letting him know that worked for you. You felt like you couldn’t really waste time trying to have a conversation through text when you needed to figure out how you were going to go about an ice cream date without flashbacks to any corny and horrible middle school date you had. Just be cool was all you could tell yourself before rummaging through your closet trying not to be the dramatic girl in movies that would say she had nothing to wear with piles and piles of clothes surrounding her. Settling on a pair of your favorite “ass flattering” jeans and a plain white t-shirt. It was only ice cream, you had to remind yourself. There was no reason to do anything more, but you still added a simple necklace and one of those fancy velvet headbands they sell for way too much money after spending a solid 10 minutes scrolling through Sydney Esiason-Martin’s instagram trying to figure out what looked cool.        It was almost scary how perfectly exact Mat’s timing was. Right after an hour on the dot you heard a buzz come through to your apartment, letting you know you had a visitor. “I’ll be right down.” you voiced over the intercom, grabbing your keys and bag. It was a five floor walk up to your apartment and you didn’t want to put this boy through any more torture after a practice. You tried not to keep him waiting too long, but you also went at a slower than normal pace giving yourself enough time to breathe. It was just a boy you’d already been out with. How could this be so bad, you tried to remind yourself. He was just a silly boy dancing around shirtless at a wedding. He stood in the entryway of the apartment building looking around at the paintings on the walls, they were cheap and not well done but it gave the appearance that maybe people with money lived here. He was in a blue and orange islanders hockey t-shirt and sweats, his hair was slicked back and damp, clearly from a post practice shower. Since the last time you saw him, he was clean shaven, no little stubble that had scratched your cheeks during sneaky kisses. His hair was also freshly cut, you liked it, but you also found the long hair to be endearing. To be honest you were just so nervous and excited that you couldn’t even tell which hair you liked better, and you didn’t have time to contemplate it as he called for you. “(Y/N).” Mat said catching your eye, he stepped closer to you, bringing you in for a warm hello hug. He smelt like mint mixed with the kind of bar soap you get at hotels, yet at the same time he smelled familiar and homey. “So I was on yelp and there’s this homemade ice cream spot in and I thought maybe we could go and hang for a little.” A smirk slid upon your face maybe a little too soon, “Yelp?” you joked with Mat. Rolling his eyes, he stuck out his hand for you. “Well are we going or not, (Y/N)?” disregarding your subtle dig. Placing your hand in his you followed his lead out of the apartment lobby. Have you ever been on a first date where someone wanted to hold your hand? Maybe at the end of the date, but this was the beginning. You just silently prayed your hand wouldn’t get sweaty in the meanwhile.        It was a short drive in Mat’s white cadillac, which you had learned was the butt of many jokes. He let you take the aux cord and play whatever you wanted, which was your current September 2019 playlist. Mat was bopping along to it which gave you little butterflies in your tummy. The way his short hair flopped around and the goofy grin on his face just made your heart melt. This was a boy who in such a quick period of time made you feel like you wanted to be near him 24/7. He had an infectious personality. At one point during the car ride you thought he was singing along to Lizzo, but you didn’t want to call him out. Mat was clearly in his element and so comfortable with you that it all just felt fun and exciting. At a red light, he looked over at you and just smiled. He said nothing, but just moved his hand over to yours. Someone needed to let you know how this boy was driving with one hand, while the other was holding onto your own as his thumb traced back and forth. “Alright, I have two rules for us. First being you need to send me this playlist, and any future playlist you make. Second, don’t let me get anything larger than a medium.” You scrunched up your facing almost saying ‘are you really sure about that’ without any words “And I’m now instituting a third rule… Don’t make that face, it reminds me of my mom.” He said letting out a giant cackle. The one you had originally heard at the wedding. It was so stupid, but you liked hearing it and knowing you were the reason for it. You couldn’t help but laugh along with him. - - -        “So I’m thinking two large sugar cones, one for you and one for me. I want cookies and cream, I’m not sure what you plan on having.” You said bumping your hip into Mat as you both stood overlooking the ice cream counter as the teenage girl behind it patiently waited for the official order. “I know you want it and ugh, look.” You said letting out a moan pointing at the barrel of mint chocolate chip. “It’s calling you.”        “Shut up, ice cream whisperer.” Mat chuckled bumping you right back, “We’ll get two large sugar cones. She’ll get cookies and cream, I’ll take...hm.. Buttered pecan.” The girl behind the counter just nodded and went to work as you turned to look at him letting out a small laugh. “Buttered pecan? Grandpa is that you?” you said turning up the banter with Mat. If there was something he seemed to appreciate, it was the way you were able to joke around with him. He was a hockey player for God’s sake, he loved to be chirped. “Oh for sure, I’m the hottest grandpa you’ve ever seen. Have you seen my ass in these pants?” Mat said taking his hands and lightly giving his tush a squeeze for dramatic effect, before being cut off by the now very embarrassed girl serving you ice cream. She mumbled the price and before you could even open your purse to grab your wallet Mat had already paid for it. “I’d say you’ll get it next time, but you’re a bad influence, I don’t know if there will be a next time for ice cream.” You just smiled taking a lick of ice cream, finding a table in the back corner trying to give you both a little bit of privacy so you both wouldn’t embarrass each other any longer. It was like those few weeks with no conversation between you two weren’t a thing, everything flowed naturally between you two. From conversations about your job, to what you’d rather be doing than working and him training, to what you both were currently binging on netflix. “The office is just so good. I end up crying because I’m laughing so hard just about every episode.” Mat said finishing off his ice cream. “I need to show you this episode, you have to come to my apartment.” And with that you were whisked away to the Barzal apartment. - -        It was surprisingly homey, it was all neutral toned except for bits of a royal blue that would peek out in a throw pillow or picture frame. You couldn’t help but wander the apartment (with Mat trailing), looking at the photos he had hung of his family and friends. “I like this one.” you said pointing to a picture of Mat as a kid, making some sort of silly face with who you presumed was his sister, she was practically his twin, but blonde. “You look the same, haven’t changed a bit. Still as goofy looking.” Mat’s face rolled his eyes once more, rubbing his cheeks with the palms of his hands, then reaching out for your arms holding your wrists gently as his eyes pleaded with you, “Why do you hate me?” he gently shook your arms playfully. A small giggle escaped your lips, “Has your mother ever told you when a girl makes fun of you she likes you?” you said quite boldly, taking a step closer to Mat with his hands still wrapped around your arms. He was so much taller than you, and you hadn’t really noticed until just now when you found yourself looking up at him. His eyes were this piercing green you couldn’t look away from, and you just stood for what felt like forever hoping he would get the hint and kiss you again. It only took him a second before leaning in to place a much gentler kiss than those you shared at the wedding and after party, probably because you were completely sober this time. The soft kisses turned into more passionate ones as he moved the both of you from you standing in the hallway of his apartment to lying on his couch in his living room, him gently on top of you careful not to weigh down his whole body’s weight on yours. Maybe you went on kissing him for ten minutes or hours, you couldn’t tell exactly the time. It was kind of mesmerizing, you were totally lost in this boy, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck that wasn’t as long as you had once noted. His hand slowly tracing up your side, slipping underneath your shirt. God it was only the second date, (Y/N), you tried to tell yourself, but you didn’t pull away, nor did you really try.        “Barz? Mat?” was all you heard bringing you two out of your dazed kisses. Pulling your lips away from him as the two of you sat up trying to look as innocent as possible. You didn’t think he had a roommate, but you weren’t quite sure. He really didn’t get that far, and you thought you knew all of his friends, or at least teammates you’d met at the wedding. It was an unfamiliar voice, but a shorter boy with lighter hair walked into the living room with a stupid grin on his face. It would’ve been cute if he hadn’t interrupted. Completely not even noticing you on the couch, he continued to speak, “You’ll never fucking guess who texted me today asking about you...” With that you saw Mat’s face tightened, the happy smiley Mat had disappeared within seconds and you needed to make a mental note of that. Almost as if Mat knew what the boy was going to say. “Tito…” He said distinctly to the boy now standing in front of you two on the couch, it’s like he had seen you with his peripherals but was far too excited to take note of the other human in the room. You couldn’t help, but look down at yourself trying to fix your t-shirt making sure you didn’t look silly… if the boy was to ever take note of the stranger inside Mat's apartment. “No Mat, for real, she said she wanted things to be different, she was thinking of surprising you here.”        “Tito” Mat now spoke a little bit louder and firmer than before. It was almost as if it brought his friend from the cloud of happiness that drifted on. Honestly you could tell this was a conversation you weren’t supposed to hear, and it made you a little sick. Another girl? Surprising Mat? Nothing about this sounded promising in the slightest. And it really only got worse for your feelings. “Whitney clearly fucking wants you back. You sat around all summer practically crying to me and now what…you fucking get her back!”        “Tito, this is my friend, (Y/N).” Mat said bringing this Tito character out of the clouds and back into Mat’s living room where the three of you were. Tito’s eyes just widened, face getting red. “I-uh, Hello.” He said softly unsure of what more to say.          “Mat, this was fun, but uh… I think I’m going to go now.” You said politely standing up, feeling your stomach take a turn. You didn’t even have a ride home. God, it didn’t even matter, you just wanted to leave. Clearly there was some other girl in the picture and it almost disgusted you to know that Mat could act this way with someone when he was clearly interested in some other girl. You reminded yourself once more, boys are disgusting and not to be trusted.        “(Y/N), let me give you a ride home.”        “No. I’m ok.” You said swiftly showing yourself to the door making sure not to look back at the two boys you had left in the apartment. You honestly weren’t sure how you had gotten to your apartment. It would’ve easily been a twenty minute walk, but you were in such a daze that you sat back on the couch somehow back in your own apartment, surrounded by apology fries from Reese as he tried to coax the story of your date. Maybe you should’ve just seen it coming, it was only the second date and it all felt very silly, you were crushing way too hard. You needed something like this to bring you down to earth.  As your thoughts were flying a mile a minute, a ding came from your phone. Your day ending just how it began, with a text from Mat.        Mat Barzal: hey.

SnK S3E22 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 305 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated! And we apologize for the delay in getting the results posted! 

Please note that these are the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

RATE THE EPISODE 290 Responses

The final episode received mid to high ratings overall, with 74.5% of participants rating it at a 5. No doubt the anime staff did a great job closing the season.

Greatest ending of a season ever.

i cant watch the ocean scene without crying so id say it was a pretty good ep

This episode was beyond boring and the ending was captivating, but still not enough to make up for such a boring episode.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT? 299 Responses

Several of the preferred moments in the episode took place at long-awaited ocean. 40.1% of participants were most impacted by Eren’s despairing words while looking across the sea. 18.1% enjoyed seeing exchanged smiles between Armin and Mikasa, and 14.7% most loved the first time the Survey Corps laid eyes on the ocean.

Rarely have I seen a scene so beautiful that had so much episodes of set-up. The ocean scene lived up to the hype. EMA finally got to the see the Umi

The ocean scene was more beautiful than I could've imagined.

Floch was spitting FIRE!!

At this point I'm just glad they did justice to everyone finally seeing the ocean. The scene seemed to fall a little flat in the manga - not too badly, but enough that it didn't hit me the way I thought it would. The extra build up the anime added, along with seeing it in motion and hearing the voice acting, gave the anime version a lot more punch.

DID PIXIS AND HISTORIA MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION BY CHOOSING TO REVEAL THE TRUTH TO THE PUBLIC? 298 Responses

Pixis and Historia decided it was best to share the truth of the outside world with the public, no matter the response. 93% of participants believed this was the right call, while a smaller percent thought otherwise or were unsure.

They did it, but it was just kinda spilled to the public and caused a lot of uproar. I dunno if letting the newspaper report on it was the best idea.

WHO DO YOU THINK WROTE THE “INTENTS FOR THE FUTURE” EXCERPT IN THE EYE CATCH? 294 Responses

The mid-episode information card showed an entry about “Intent for the Future” in response to the truth of the world. 49.7% of participants believe the talk of diplomacy implied Armin was the author, whereas 16.3% believe it was Hange. 13.9% think the contemplative tone may have been Eren’s doing.

I think the "intents for the future" is written by Hange, since it says "watashi" and only they have "the duty" to come up with a better plan than the rumbling.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO FIRST IF YOU’VE NEVER SEEN OR KNEW ABOUT THE OCEAN BEFORE? 294 Responses

Had there been no prior real world awareness of the ocean, 60.9% of participants would choose to slowly dip their feet in the water during their first encounter. 17.7% would rather observe the strange discovery from afar, and 11.2% would contemplate the meaning of life.

WHOSE INITIAL REACTION TO THE SEA WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 299 Responses

The characters’ first reactions varied upon their initial encounter with the sea. 30.4% of participants most enjoyed Armin’s marveled gaze at his most anticipated dream, while 22.7% liked Mikasa’s surprised reaction the most. Eren’s less impressed and discouraged expressions were most favored by 18.1% of participants.

Armin and Mikasa at the ocean scene was one of the BEST THINGS EVER.

I thought the animation in the first half was a little weak, but damn, I could watch Armin gaze fondly upon the ocean for hours. The animation there was on point. 

Armin and Mikasa were so cute in the ocean scene, smiling and blushing!!! Seeing Armin's happy tears after finally seeing the ocean was really moving too!! <3 I'm sad though Eren couldn't enjoy it the same way as them...

HOW WELL DID THE ANIME TEAM ADAPT CHAPTER 90? 295 Responses

The episode only covered chapter 90, but a majority of participants believed the anime did a faithful adaptation of the manga, with 78.6% saying it was near perfect.

It was fucking perfect and I even dare to say it was better than in the manga. Animation, background music, characters expressions, seiyuus - these made this episode so great. I really cried when I watched and listened to Eren talking about freedom and enemy, what didnt happen to me when I read it. I could feel his deep sadness and it was better shown how much he's changed. Kudos to everyone at studio WIT involved in snk and especially this episode

The pacing was a bit too slow. They could’ve picked up the pace a bit by maybe adding one more anime only scene. Also, they should have left off with Falco.

HOW WELL DID THE ANIME DEPICT THE FIRST MOMENT OF SEEING THE OCEAN? 296 Responses

Finally seeing the ocean animated in full color, 54.7% of participants thought the moment exceeded the manga version with the captivating visuals and awed expressions. 38.2% compared it equally emotional as the manga version while 5.1% were pleased but preferred the moment in the manga.

They made it look so wholesome I nearly forgot Eren’s suffering

Idk I didn't see because there was water in my line of sight. That happens every time since the episode that broke my heart.

It felt so unreal, they did an incredible job of transcribing from the point of view of the characters and I think I felt at least as upset as they were by discovering the beautiful graphics of the ocean.

It was underwhelming and I didn’t care for the scene at all

IN THE ANIME, EREN GETS OFF OF HIS HORSE AND TOUCHES THE IMMOBILE TITAN. WHAT’D YOU THINK OF THIS CHANGE? 299 Responses

The anime altered the moment Eren sees the immobile titan by including him dismounting his horse and physically touching its head. 74.9% of participants thought the moment properly captured Eren’s newfound sympathy for the titans as fellow compatriots. 9.7% believe it made him look more sympathetic than in reality, and 5.7% didn’t think the change was needed.

It made more clean to the audience that Eren new target/enemy are not the titans anymore, now feeling pity for their compatriots. And his templance and tone remind us Kruger/Grisha presence on him, his hatred for Marley.

I was pinned on the spot, and I had to look at this passage several times to be sure of having seen well. Wow, Eren touched a titan and considers him "one of theirs".  This passage was made without special emphasis, as if it was normal that Eren had compassion for a titan, and it really shaken me.

I think it was a rly nice addiction but I dont think its about Eren symphatizing with the titans, rather to me it shows Eren's melancholy of facing the truth about the titans. He wasnt feeling sympathy or pity for that titan, just the truth that it was once a person, the truth outside the walls, beyond the ocean.

it was an odd change but it kinda illustrated just how much of an impact memories/paths are having on eren’s mind

It was a bit cheesy

Eren is now the titan whisperer

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE FEW FRAMES OF THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO IN THE END CREDITS? 297 Responses

The ending credits revealed some scenes of the Attack on Liberio and its aftermath. 64.3% of participants felt the inclusion was a good way to build suspense for the final season, while 24.2% think the scenes were too subtle for anime viewers to react and specifically catered to manga readers.

As for the ending itself, it's a good thing they released extra pics, but the main issue; if you follow the anime, is this: the screencaps don't show where it's located, not when these events take place. It could take place on Paradis, it could mean the mean Marleys are attacking in full force again, or if we're this far in the manga, it could be assumed the characters at the sea have no choice but to become monsters to fight the monsters of the outside world... which goes against what the manga portrays when you take into account there's been 9 chapters dedicated to show the POV from the other side of the ocean.

THERE ARE A COUPLE SCENES IN THE END CREDITS THAT HAVEN’T BEEN ILLUSTRATED IN THE MANGA. DO YOU BELIEVE THESE ARE FUTURE PANELS THAT WILL APPEAR LATER IN THE STORY? 297 Responses

There were a few scenes in the credits that were not illustrated in the manga. 53.2% of participants believe these will be future panels in the upcoming manga chapters, but 38% aren’t quite sure. A smaller 8.8% think the scenes are just for show or anime only and will not make a comeback in the manga.

WHO IS THE GIRL STUDENT IN THE UNIFORM? 296 Responses

One of the unillustrated scenes showed a girl in a school uniform among other students. 37.8% think the student is an Eldian, and 35.8% think she is Marleyan. 19.6% believe this is the future depicting a modern-day student. Will she be shown again? Some believe this is someone we already knew.

Also, I'm leaning towards the theory that the girl in the uniform is Lady Tybur when she attended a private school.

The girl student in the uniform is likely Ms Tybur (the Warhammer titan), as the school looks quite prestigious, and they are the only high class characters of importance in Marley.  I hope this means that we might get a bit more on her character in the anime adaptation.

WITH THE PV CONFIRMATION THAT THE 4TH SEASON WILL BE THE FINAL ONE, WHAT’S YOUR GUESS FOR WHEN THE MANGA WILL END? 298 Responses

The brief preview announcement of the 4th season set to release confirmed it would be the anime’s final season. With the release date in the fall of next year, 44.6% of manga reading participants believe the manga series will conclude in mid to late 2020. 22.8% think the manga will end early in the beginning of next year, and 14.8% believe Isayama and the animation studio will work together to release the finale of both the manga and anime around the same time. As of recently, Isayama thinks he has about a year left to complete his story, but only time will tell when it actually ends.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Not your usual beach episode lol. Wished the stinger is they show Falco looking up on sky in Fort Slava, but maybe it's too revealing for anime onlies? 

I can't believe we've come this far already. Everything was beautifully done, the end credits were just absolutely poignant and the extra scenes have only made me more impatient for more Manga chapters.

It's probably the episode of Snk that caused the most emotion in me. Eren's seiyuu especially, but also Armin's were really excellent. The melancholy of Eren's voice, and the hope so fragile and so beautiful of Armin, appeared to me strikingly thanks to that. The separation that prefigures in EMA trio, and the dreams that break as they face what they had sought from the beginning pierced me.

That piano score that played throughout the end credits...Sure Sawano you can tear out my heart, this show's gotten me used to it anyway…

Also can I just say Mikasa in the ocean was really fucking adorable? Because she was. I've always had this headcanon that she would love the ocean because the half of her that isn't an Ackerman is from the ""East Sea Clan"" and so I would think coastal life and seafaring would be in her blood. This episode has only strengthened this headcanon for me. :)

I miss Erwin. I don't think that'll ever change, but duuudes Floch made me cry every harder. He's such a lost kid and he's alone in his grief. No one should be alone 😭

years of waiting and god has finally gifted us with a masterpiece.

The anime-only scenes were a very nice touch, and added to the emotion of the arc. Considering what's become of Eren and Floch (ugh) now, the scene where Eren touches the Titan, followed by Floch hanging behind for a moment, seemed quite telling. Can't wait to see the next season (and all the death and destruction that unfortunately accompanies it).

Honestly this season, and potentially the entire series was ruined for me  because of how they handled Uprising. It was an alright adaptation, with some admittedly outstanding scenes, but the first part of the season really killed my hype for the second part. 

Mikasa’s smile to Armin was the only part of this episode I thought was done more effectively than in the manga. She’s been through so much; it was sweet to see her out of her element in a GOOD way, WITH her family there. This scene cemented her as my 3rd favorite character.

I picked up on the little, subtle changes, and I really enjoyed them. WIT did an amazing job on this episode, and it was fairly lived up to.

There wasn't much filler, but I liked what they did with adding Grisha's distorted facial expression and how they conveyed Eren's at the end of the first half. Also nice Floch filler where he asks why the SC doesn't cull that titan lol.

Hitch broke my heart ;-;

I’m not ready. Somebody save us! I don’t want hobo Eren yet!

Truly amazing. It was really refreshing to see the characters taking a break from all the gore and enjoy the moment. Great ending.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 284 Responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! 

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me

Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right

Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh

Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺

Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??

It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴

Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL

I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌

YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔

Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪

I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)

Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?

I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?

Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)

-

i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪

tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤

pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪

it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL

go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??

snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.

u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪

dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce

UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH

i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity

I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.

my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧

well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month

i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life

the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh

Your personal space is mine (Seo Changbin & y/n)

Changbin x y/n short scenario

request: Changbin and his s/o being taller than him

a/n: I’ sorry, I feel that I mix a lot of tenses, prefixes and wrote it worse than usually, but I have a fever, my nose is full and it could make my brain works slower. XD rly, forgive me

So you did it again.

You’ve drank your afternoon coffee after an active day and tear dropped on your light yellow shirt. You’ve tried to take the spot off, but you used a lot of soap and water and it needed time to dry. You couldn’t walking like that, especially when the dorm was full of boys.

So you opened your boyfriend wardrobe without asking, because he went to the shop to buy ingredients for your dinner. You would do it anyway without hesitation - he would definitely let you open his wardrobe and won’t being angry at you - you know him enough. So when you found random, black shirt with a small pocket on the left side, you put it on and go back to their kitchen and put pasta to boiling water.

Changbin got back as fast as he declaimed and put all bags on the table. He take out all bought stuff and gave you salt to seasoning the meal.

Ten minutes later your dinner was ready. Changbin told you that he will wash the pots and asked you to impose food on the plates. It required reaching the dishes from the third shelf above the sink and due to you were taller, it was obvious that it will be better job for you than him. 

He feels okay with it, even if he was intimitated at the beginning. You’ve got to know each other on your common friends meeting for the first time and talk a lot, what quickly transformed into messages and got stable contact. He felt for you first, knowing that you must be someone special, but your height difference was one of the things that stopped him, afraid of rejection or not being destinated to each other.

Until you gave him clear signal. 

‘You know, sometimes life gave us a fake signs. I don’t know why, it’s hard to say, but it’s true. I think it’s because it wants to take the best of us to see what kind of people we are deep inside. So we should just take what we really need or truly wants, no matter what. And the way how you handle with that defines you as a human.’

And it just pushed him. Your words give him mental wings - from confessing to adapting to this fact in your relationship.

Now he doesn’t care about this anymore,  

He also used to asked Hyunjin to help before, but now you were here, so he wasn’t needed, even sitting only a few meters away on the sofa, watching film and eating some snacks with other members. 

But when you’ve tried take two bigger plates, one of them seemed to fall and you made some noises while trying to save them. Completely focused, luckily you did that and no one and nothing get hurted. Anyway Changbin and boys turned around to check is everything okay with you and stuff you kept.

‘Hey, y/n, you’re alright?’ you’ve heard your boyfriend’s low voice. He saw how you’ve flexed your body and so his eyes automatically comes to you.

But he wasn’t the only one who noticed it.

Other boys also didn’t miss the fact your waist was fully exposed. Hyunjin’s eyes jumping constantly from Changbin to you and Minho sliding his eyes all over your body, probably doesn’t even controling them.

It wasn’t rude, it was just natural and he completely understood that man habit - your light skin, of course, attracts every human eyes and the reason was obvious to him.

But it didn’t mean he agreed with that. You were his.

Only h i s.

‘Yeah, I’m fine’ you answered.

You put dishes on table, closed the locker and touched a pot - yeah, only touched, because Changbin’s hand clamped on your wrist. He held it really tight, standing behind you and blowing onto your neck accidentally.

‘Come with me, y/n’ he whispered to your ear, didn’t want to get the rest of members attention.

‘Where do you mean now? The dinner is ready’ you asked, but he just waved, sugesting you to follow him.

‘Just for a moment, come on’ he said, walking into his own room.

So you went after him, checking kitchen stuff after leaving. And when you came in, he quietly closed the door.

‘Take it off’ he recomended, pointing at your shirt and making a few steps on his room.

Firstly you couldn’t believe you ears.

Secondly - exactly the same.

Heat took over you body just in one second and you were wondering how it’s even possible. It’s not like he didn’t made you like that before - he did, but in completely different way. This time was a little bit too intense, a little too fast and a little embarrasing.

The blood in your veins went faster and your heart beated so loud. Your checks were scalded you. You want to peel them from your face and throw away, especially when they’re getting more red with every second. You took a deep breath and gulped.

Then you realised that maybe this one shirt is one of his favourite or he have some special memories with them. Maybe he doesn’t wear it even once and it wasn’t addict to wearing. Maybe he recognized it just a moment before and want them back in his wardrobe, not on you. Or maybe he gets mad because you took it without his permission, even if it doesn’t fit him, because you know him well and he has never been that kind of person, because he used to give you anything on this world you wished for.

But now you were just confused and started getting nervous about this situation.

‘Now?’ that was the only thing you could stammer from mouth. You knew nothing. Eyebrows rose automaticaly and you looked at him with misapprehension on your face.

‘Yes’ he answered quickly and shock hits you again.

He looked like he didn’t said anything strange or unexpected. He looked like he doesn’t care a lot, searching for something in his wardrobe.

‘I’m...’ you stared, but couldn’t finished.

You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t even know how you’ve already felt. He saw you shirtless, yes, but it was occasionally and only few times. He touched your belly, he kissed your collarbones, he squished your hips, but you didn’t get further yet. It was already only few months while you were togheter, being careful and soft to each other. He was so caring about you and never pushed you to anything you didn’t want - next steps comes time after time, on their own pace and that make your bond such beautiful. You two just celebrated having each other.

So why does it broke right now?

‘I don’t want to, Changbin’ you muttered at least.

He finnaly looked at you. His eyes opened wider than before. A few seconds ago he looks a little bit mad, doing everything in chaos - now he finally looks like your boyfriend. The most precious, sweetest and beloved human ever exist in this world.

‘You want them to look at you like this? Because I don’t. I can’t let them.’

What you asked yourself.

‘What?’

He shaked his left hand with black material in it - the right one was pointing at you again.

‘This one is to short for you. I’ve got a lot of longer shirts, I don’t know why you didn’t take one like this.’

‘Oh...’ you started. ‘You mean this...’

You felt completely awkard. You covered your face by hands, looking in his eyes, directly but shyly.

‘What’s happend?’ Yes, he completely doesn’t have an idea what already comes to your mind and that made you feel embarassed even more.

You can’t say this. There was no possibility to do that. And it wasn’t even about you, it was about him - realising you let this idea came into you mind could really hurt him.

‘I just catched the first one from the top. I spotted my own’ you pointed at your yellow shirt, laying on chair to dry.

‘It’s okay, I don’t mind. I’m just taking care of your personal space and self-serving’ he admitted.

You looked at your waist and realized what he means. The shirt was tight and covered only the hightest part of you hips - not all of them. When you put your hands up, it shows your navel.

And it unexpectedly made you soft. Vision of Changbin being jealous and protective over you causes your inside euphoria. You smiled joyfully.

‘Did they see something they shouldn’t?

He nodded, coming to you closer.

‘Those parts are definitely already reserved’ he pecked your belly once. You can’t help bursting out laughing to let all your extreme emotions go away.

And you were melting. Like usually you do, you were dissolving like a block of ice in front of open fire. Changbin doesn’t truly know how delicate you were if it comes to his affection on you - he thought he was the weaker one. He was almost sure about it.

‘I got it. And you’re right’ you added, letting his hands embrace you.

‘I know I am’ he said surely. He laid his fingers on your chin and kissed your lips five times, subtly and slowly, biting his own bottom lip while backing off.

‘Just change it. I’ll bring our meal here.’

When he came back, your new shirt hooded even parts of your laps and was two times wider than you. There was no option to see anything to anyone, not even you. And he loves the way you were like at this moment - loosely, a little tomboyish and mostly - natural, like you have nothing to hide from him.

And he loves it, just loves it. Because he completely loves you.

yeah for real when you’ve got a Scene in your head that would make more sense as a comic, you do get the whole advantages of using that format....like the dialogue of course & being able to show the changes between one panel & another to show movement & actions & things & time passage in general. and getting creative w panels is another tool you have to affect pacing and even tone, & unlike stuff like tv/movies, you get to change the shape & size of panels, which is useful imo for not only mood/pacing but also u can zoom in on exactly what u want viewers to look at. like having a lil panel just of some Detail like a hand or piece of paper or whatever. comix can jump around different shots without adding tension the way it might w film...idk i personally find it pretty fun to work with & it comes somewhat naturally to me to picture something as a comic in my head, though i’ll picture things like A Film just as much lol umm anyways yeah i think its great just to mess around w ideas in comic format & it can be rly good for making a scene with feeling, even in a short one... and i like to show emotion in movement and expressions and all, so that works out. like you can show a bunch of different facial expressions & show the slight changes & all....& show how ppl react to someone else in the space & move around each other.....its neat b/c imo emoting is generally a lot more in the subtleties of things. like you could show someone’s feelings exclusively through direct shots of their face but, realistically, ppls feelings are in things beyond their expression at any one point in time—its like, if the expression is subdued or exaggerated vs the essential content of the expression alone, their posture and how they move, what they look at, what they say, subtle shifts in their face or body as they react to something new—all these little sorts of behaviors ykno? not to downplay facial expression coz thats p much always key, and like i said its my fave...but when it comes to trying to portray stuff w emotional impact, i like to think of a lot of other details that imo can lend a lot of visual and emotional information alike....plus just the more stuff you’re drawing the more you’re giving a scene to work with... bgs and everything can set the mood & also just give context to a scene & even i’m getting better about like, making even simple bgs sometimes. anyways not like im an expert in anything at all related to anything but i have been Drawing W Feelings In Mind for a while i guess lol and yeah about characters who are usually carrying some form of tension (symbolic like displayed persona vs their actual internal, &/or more actually feeling tense like irritable and all lol) still having tension be relatable even when they’re happier or more relaxed, & thinking about that in a drawing—for me anyways i just think of that as part of trying to show their personality in every drawing. like i was saying w the example of when i nobly set out to give ppl another pic of kip fucking, even if he’s totally chill w the situation, it’s relevant to me when drawing it to think of the fact that he’s usually Not getting to be chill with Any situation, and have that affect how i portray the state of finally getting to purely enjoy himself in a major way. like i suppose thinking abt this just now, i always make a point of drawing him actually physically tensed in at least some small way, i think as part of imagining how the like usual constant presence of internal conflict plays into the reaction to its absence. like how it’s not an on/off switch where a person who has to live w that all the time has some version of themself that gets to Be Normal and suddenly not have to think abt how that feels. like even tho he’s presumably getting a break & a good distraction from that stuff, i think of how he wouldn’t suddenly have a new set of behaviors to access & isnt like, suddenly a completely different person, & how there could actually be a pressure in enjoying urself b/c of the knowledge of just how special that is & how much u should savor the moment. like, even in relief there’s a tension. sidenote especially if you think you might not get such a great experience again—feeling fantastic can have a painful edge in that case & can even be really heartbreaking if you don’t know when you’ll next get to feel that way again. anyways Back To Fucking lol like i said i think in that relief i’m drawing in a little bit of desperation in the knowledge that his moments of relief from feeling all hyperaware and self conscious and conflicted and what have you etc are rare, that i show by giving him a little edge of intensity in some way or another. me drawing kip as sexually desperate lmao owned... but truly that’s just a little piece of always trying to show a chars personality no matter the emotion or action or situation or whatever!! like back in the day i said something about how two people will show the same emotion differently in their facial expressions even if most ppl have the same “basic format” to it...the difference in how ppl emote & react to things shows their personality (so does other stuff obv but relevant to emotion specifically...) & so say if i draw the same expression for one character as i did another at one point, it would have a different meaning for each of them in the context of their differences in personality...one person’s smile has a different meaning from another person smiling the same way, and all. obv thats most relevant in characters who r dramatically contrasted in their outward behavior. like i talk about all this like its a science or i plot a whole chart before ever making a drawing but mostly i come up w some image or scene in my head that seems good to me & then sometimes barely even plan how to put it down. or other times i do think abt it a lot, but even then i’ll usually do last minute tweaks. it’s really mostly instinct imo, i don’t know if it’s true that i’m a bit overly tuned in to other ppls emotions & good at reading even really subtle shifts, that might be part of it, but even if it wasnt true, emotions are usually a p instinctive thing. but ppl can communicate the same feeling in totally different ways, including ways that AREN’T instinctive to you, so imo its also good to like, also treat it like something to consciously think about. and like also just yeah in media you already like that already seems emotionally impactful, its cool to pay attention to that & keep it in mind & try to imitate & stuff. and like i said about it not being a science, i talk abt putting emotion & a characters personality into everything, but its not like i think of anything i do as being overly complex & i expect anyone to look at any random drawing of mine & be able to fully reverse-engineer a characters entire personality from one pic lmao....i don’t pretend anything i make is some work of genius that contains Everything. but it at least contains something. & maybe if u had a few pix to compare, it wouldnt be hard to deduce personality from it. like, even when someone’s acting different from their usual personality, it’s still the same person, & how they usually are changes how their behavior reads. like for lars to be relaxed and casual around other ppl suggests a higher level of comfort & trust than average, specifically because of the fact that u know his usual behavior is to be more stressed & in one way or another defensive around others. also i like to try to draw personality in e v e r y t h i n g b/c all of this is propaganda of “my fave & if you don’t like it get out” lol......like each pic is its own lil love letter what with how if i didnt have a certain level of fondness for a character, then i couldnt be effed to draw them in the first place. so i want to be like, look at the way this character is, which is why i love & cherish them.....and like you said, with a basic ability to draw a recognizable form & an interest in making fanart with that ability, you’ve got everything you need to make the content you wish somebody else had already made for you to look at. and with choosing a lot of suffering characters to be fond of you have plenty of motivation to want to draw them having a nice time. or at least feel loved and appreciated or something. all that stuff hmm i can’t remember if i had anything else i meant to get at but yeah lol....Feelings

Before I start posting screenshots and reblogging fan art lemme share my thoughts on season 5 cuz I needa sort this all out in my head

(spoilers under the cut)

- I’m so relieved Pidge and Matt FINALLY found their dad...it was so touching when they reunited.

- I freaking love everyone so much. I freaking LOVE Pidge. Freaking Matt. I love LANCE SO FUCKING mUcH you DON’T UNDERSTAND. Hunk is adorable and pure as always. Keef?????? My beautiful emo gay son. I love him. Shiro?? Well he’s a fake bich but we’ll get to that

- Speaking of Keith. As I feared, there wasn’t much of him. But we found out who his mom is. I freaking CALLED it. The second I saw her I was like hey, she kinda looks like Keith with the hair. I have a feeling they’re gonna be related, either a sister or his mom. And guess what the DIDDLY WACK happened.

- I so desperately want these few things. These are all I ask:

- Pidge and Matt finding their dad. (Check.)

- Finding out how Keith and Shiro are connected cuz come on. There’s something going on there. Brothers??? Who knows. (Not check. Didn’t find out about that). ADDRESSING THE FACT SHIRO IS PROBLY A CLONE (freaking CHECK BITCH!! kind of. it’ll be continued in the next season).

- Lotor interacting face-to-face with everyone, especially Keith (bc I wanna see them connect over being part galra), and Lance (cuz I wanna see Lance pick a fight with him and have Lotor just be amused and tease him). (Kind of.....check....ish. Lotor didn’t interact with Keith at all. :( He interacted with Lance a bit but not to the extent I wanted. And I feel like everyone’s so serious. I wanted to see more sides to Lotor.)

- And lastly, I wanted more moments between Lance and Keith.....and most of all I wanted Keith back in team Voltron. But no. This is such a freaking Lance/Keith drought y’all idk if I can take much more of it.

- Ok that’s the end of the list ^ lemme talk about Lotor and Allura now.

- I don’t rly want to ship them.......but their dynamic is one of my greatest weaknesses. Time and time again I fall for this freaking kind of ship where there’s a bad boy and good girl and enemies to lovers and all that shit. So this is kinda killing me rn lmao. Like I don’t /want/ to ship it......but I kinda do....against my will?? I hate to admit it cuz they genuinely have good chemistry........sigh. The reason I’m so conflicted is cuz for one, I headcanon Lotor as gay...but I can also see him as being pan, so I guess that’s not the real reason. Another thing is I always wanted to see Lotor flirt with Lance cuz I’m secretly Lancelot trash lmao. Also I kinda like the idea of him and Keith...altho ofc I’m a K//l///ance shipper at heart (putting dashes cuz I don’t want this post in the tag).

- Anyway, I really wish there were more of Keith, I miss him so much. It’s killing me. But I’m satisfied with how much Lotor we got, cuz I freaking love that purple bich. I really enjoyed seeing him get along with everyone and I know he’ll probly betray them at some point.........but either way I love him so much. We got to know him better as a character, which I’m excited about. He’s one of my top faves at this point. Do I stan????????????

- Back to that Fake-Ass Motherfucker of a Bitch Shiro. He made my son sad. I was like this......is a sign. The real Shiro.....would not. Also where is his fuckin emotion. He’s so devoid of it. And I’m missing Sha///llura.....hardly any moments for them. He doesn’t interact with her the way he used to....or is that just me. Idk man I just always had a feeling. Anyway I’m slightly?? annoyed with how slow the pace is but at the same time I’m glad they’re not rushing. I look forward to season 6 when we’ll FINALLY get this Shiro business over with like I JUST WANT THE REAL SHIRO BACK ALREADY PLS

- Things I hope for in season 6:

- FUCKING K///LA///NCE MOMENTS PLS????? It’s been a fucking DROUGHT AND IT’S KILLING ME I’M NOT FUCKING KIDDING LIKE........please. It’s like they sensed the gay and were like nope we gotta keep this hetero....we gotta separate them......and I’m dying squirttle

- That brings me to a whole other tangent that I may or may not delve into later in a separate post if I have the energy.....anyway on with the list

- Sh///a////lura moments?????? Pls.......I still ship it

- Lotor to reconnect with his mom :(

- Lotor to not end up betraying everyone......I know it’s very likely but listen. It would be far more complex and interesting and less predictable if they didn’t go that route. I want him to almost go thru w/ betraying them, but to have a change of heart and undergo major character development. I want inner conflict. That’s far more interesting to me.

- A Hunk-centric episode....I’m glad Pidge got more attention and development, now it’s Hunk’s turn. Like pls give this boy more material

- SHIRO UNCLENCH YOUR FISTS U FAKE-ASS BICH

- Why the FUCK have we still not figured out how Shiro and Keith are connected. Didn’t that whole issue get hinted at in like, season 2???? And we STILL haven’t followed up on it

- So yeah pls follow up on that it’s been 84 yrs

- More about Keith’s past. We’re making progress (we met his mom holy shit) but more pls

- REVEAL HOW FAKE SHIRO IS THAT FAKE ASS BINCHEFER

- I don’t think the fake Shiro has bad intentions tho. he just confuzzled :c

- And uhhhhhh I guess that’s it.

- Oh wait one last thing. Pls NEVER introduce a female love interest for Keith. He’s gay so stay back u heteros. (I didn’t mention this before but ngl before I realized Keef’s mom was probly gonna be related somehow, I thought she might be his love interest and I was like heeeeeell no. But then I remembered the title of the ep “bloodlines” and I was like wow I’m an idiot ofc she’s his mom)

- Once again.........I’M DYING TO SEE MY BOIZ INTERACT AGAIN IT’S BEEN 84 YRS AND U KNOW EXACTLY WHICH BOIZ I’M TALKIN ABOUT

- ok the end srry that was a lot

"i'm sending it."

"sending what?" my bestfriend asked, obviously intrigued and curious at the same time.

that moment, i just finished writing a note that i plan to send to my crush. my hands were shaky and a little messy with ink from the pen. i took a good look at the brown craft paper folded in half in my hands, fingertip tracing over the letters embedded in the paper.

congratulations! you did great last night. btw, you're a great dancer & rly cute. have a nice day!

"a note," i reply to her. "but only if i arrive earlier. if not, nevermind."

i snorted at the idea. yeah, it seemed way too farfetched. the guy doesn't even know me. he was just someone i had a crush on and that his classroom was just across the hallway. some coincidence.

my bestfriend just laughed, "if you don't do it. i'll do it. you were so quiet during their performance earlier too." god, she can be so scary at times.

i shrugged, taking one of my washi tapes and ripped a small piece, just enough to stick the two ends of the paper shut. i placed it down on my bed and stared at it. i probably stared at it for a good ten minutes, internally debating whether i should send it or not. during my internal debate, i grabbed my pen and wrote his initials on the front of the paper. my hand was shaky still. that was the second time i had written his name.

today was the second day of p.e. cheerdances. i was present, of course. i had to help my friends. i was helping them stitch their jogging pants for their performances later. my crush's ex girlfriend also asked me to stitch hers, and i couldn't say no. nobody outside my circle of friends knew about my feelings, so it was wrong to refuse her. oh, my crush was also performing today.

i tried to be as calm as i could, although one of my friends couldn't stop teasing me about it. i wish she'd shut up for a moment. it hurts in a different way.

everyone was busy. everything was buzzing around. but i was more than happy to lend a helping hand to them. i even helped them cleaned their classroom, bought some of them some food and drinks. it was a busy day.

i was chilling in the hallway with my best friend and she'd occasionally tease me whenever he (my crush) passed by. i wrote his name on a small scrap of paper to hand to my best friend as she was curious as to "which name is my heart beating to." i almost panicked when he passed by when my best friend viewed the scrap, not like he could see it. but who knows, right?

and i couldn't help but steal a few glances here and there. i must admit, their outfits were a little—uh—not as good as i had hoped, but he still looked adorable. how i wish i could look at him a little longer, but it was time to coop up in the gym to watch everyone perform. i was excited for my friends, and him.

my crush's class performed first before my friends and needless to say, i was mesmerized by him. okay, that sounds a little cheesy. but i was. i never knew he could dance so well. all i did was clap, not that i didn't want to cheer. i was just.. distracted. because of it, my bestfriend wouldn't stop teasing me about it. and for the rest of the remaining performances, i didn't see him.

my friends were on a whole 'nother level. they placed 3rd and 1st runner ups! i was so so proud of them. i'm glad to have helped them gained their success somehow.

i got up to leave before the gates were crowded but i stopped in my tracks upon looking over to the gazebos. there he was. sitting there, with someone i am unfamiliar with. i immediately hid behind the stack of chairs — as if he was gonna notice someone looking at him. but i hid anyway. i watched him smile and laugh with i presume his friend, they seemed to be enjoying themselves. the sight of him all happy and smiley made me so happy. i let one more minute pass by before i headed home.

and that's how i ended up here. it was on a whim really, to write this note and to possibly send to him tomorrow. i don't even know what lies ahead if i do end up sending this, or just keep it. i just know that maybe this is worth the risk. i slept on my messy thoughts that night.

i woke up a little later than i usually do the next morning, and i was surprised that the third floor was empty. perfect. i pulled the note out of my pocket and glanced at it one last time, writing down his grade and section on the last minute in case it got lost, then oh fuck. where do i put this? the window on the door? nah. it'll fall off. inside? no, no, too creepy. aha! i beamed, wedging the note just between the door, right next to the doorknob. i'm sure they'll notice it there. i didn't want to stay, or else i'll be suspicious, so i went down to the convenience store to hopefully find a snack to calm my nerves.

i had my full attention on my phone while walking up the stairs that i didn't even notice the person who was walking in front of me. it was only then that i arrived on the hallways that oh shoot, it's him.

i could hear faint voices in the background calling out to him, saying he's got a love letter. that made my heart jump, as if it wanted to get out of my ribcage. i panicked.

gladly, i spotted a friend. "hey! come on, let's go get coffee!" i say shakily, but enthusiastically, and mercilessly dragged him out, but not before i stole one last glance at him taking my note from where i slipped it. god, i swear my heart was about to burst.

"i left a note for my crush," i blurted out, almost monotonously to my friend while walking down the stairs.

"wow, you actually did that?" i groaned. "i saw him take it! listen, my heart's about to meddle with my other organs and i need coffee."

"you're something else." my friend says with a hearty laugh. i punched his arm.

"i sent it," i say to my two best friends after returning from getting my morning coffee.

"sent what?" - best friend number 2.

"a note. she congratulated her crush," my best friend gave me a look. and i could only groan. "can't believe you did that."

"neither can i." i say, taking a sip of my iced coffee. but i slowly came in terms with it. well, i suppose he's just gonna throw it away. everybody else did. and with that, the burden of writing that first note went away.

i wrote a second note a few weeks later, just a day after exams, to congratulate him again for getting through first quarter. but it was a disaster.

i did the same tactic as i did with my first note, but this one did not end well. it, unfortunately, fell on the floor. and when i was about to slide it back in, i already saw him seated inside their classroom. and there were already so many people there. i tried my best to sneakily take the note from the floor and with a heavy heart, shoved it in my pocket.

for the next few weeks, i only admired him from the little window on the door, or sometimes in the hallway when our classrooms weren't open yet. it still baffled me how we ended up just across from each other. of course, the fact that his ex girlfriend was also right beside our classroom bothered me too. they kept comparing me to her, and i didn't know how to say that i didn't like it. i hated it. bringing me down is one thing, comparing me to other people is another. it messed me up a lot.

my best friend and i were super excited, it was finally weathering with you's premiere date tomorrow! i couldn't be more ecstatic. but i couldn't help but think about him. just a week ago i painted him a (fail, by the way) picture of miyazono kaori because i heard him and his friends sing to hikaru nara in the hallways. i wanted to watch with him, but it seemed impossible — again, he doesn't even know me.

i tried to paint again, this time, one of the teaser images for weathering with you. again, it was a fail. and i just stuck to write a note, jokingly of course. i had no actual plans on sending it.

i can go watch alone pero pweathering with you.

but i have an overly supportive but scary best friend and she, without any second thought, offered to hand the note to him personally. i declined her offer, of course. it was way too embarrassing. but she wouldn't stop and i know any better than to let heer. so i handed her the note and just asked her to not reveal my identity.

she came back hours later with the biggest grin on her face. this bastard actually did it. i asked her a few questions on what had happened, before i eventually started gushing about he had a nice voice. golly gee, i should not have done that.

and it was just that. nothing had happened. we didn't watch together or anything. just the same old school days.

it was september and it had been a good month and a week since i gave him the notes. i wanted to give more, but i saw no reason to.

it was currently the last period of the day and out of boredom, i was flipping through the pages of my notebook. surprisingly enough, the failed watercolor of the sky was there, the one with the lamest pickup line of pweathering with you. unfortunately, my nosy group of friends saw it and immediately snatched it out of my hands. i begged them time and time again to give it back because i hated it, the work was so ugly. and they begged me, time and time and time again to send it. i refused everytime.

but my bestfriend #2 had offered to send the note herself. and i knew in my gut that she was not joking. when it comes to things like this? she never does. i sighed in defeat and just waved her off. i wasn't expecting to get anything out of it anyway.

i left early that day, kind of running away from practice sort of leave. on my way out of the classroom, i saw their room was empty. i saw a few bags, but didn't saw his'. so i assumed he had gone home already. i snickered and shook my head, all too confident that my friends' plan was going to fail.

i got home and changed into my pyjamas. luckily, nobody had messaged me asking where i was. or so i thought.

"come down! your classmate is here to see you!" i heard my mom call me.

oh fuck.

i took a moment to pace around in my room, causing my mother to call me twice. my mind was sure that it was my group's leader looking for me, and i had second thoughts on changing back into my uniform because she might scold me. but in the end, i just went down in my pyjamas.

i was a little taken aback to see my best friend instead. i wonder if our leader sent her? she had nothing, but a big grin on her face and pulled out what seemed to be a folded index card out of her pocket.

i took a good look at the index card she held up and i could've sworn i stopped breathing for five seconds. i know that logo.

i closed the front door behind me and immediately almost tackled her to the ground. she was laughing at how nervous i was when i took the note. i didn't know what to feel. i didn't expected this. at all.

she goes on to explain what had happened but her voice became a little muted because i was so focused on the note in my hand. my heart was drumming loudly against my ribcage and i found it hard to speak properly.

i opened the note together with her and there was only one content. his phone number.

my best friend stayed for a good five minutes listening to me ramble about how i was feeling all sorts of emotions before she bid goodbye for the day. i went back inside and hid the note inside my pyjama pants so my mom wouldn't see. i plopped onto my bed and just stared at the note. i was in utter disbelief. i was shocked. i was.. happy even.

and god, i could've sworn i spent around fifteen minutes constructing a good starting text. and hit send for the first time.

i slammed my face into my pillow and just started whining. both out of embarrassment and nervousness. my hands were sweaty and shaking. i couldn't see my face but i know i was as red as a cherry when he had replied.

i tried to keep my cool. i really did. how do people just casually talk with their crushes? i feel like i could tear my apartment apart from this.

we spent the next hours texting and i couldn't help but feel nervous everytime he replied. and i embarrassingly overshared a bit, to which i regret immediately after he said goodnight.

when he tucked in for the night, i sprawled on my bed and stared up at my ceiling. my heart was still pounding. my brain was releasing serotonin at a rapid level. and i couldn't stop smiling. sure, i said some embarrassing stuff and overshared and all. but i talked to him. god knows how happy i was that day. and for the first time in what seemed like weeks, i slept with a smile on my face.

the next day rolls around and i wanted to talk to him again, but i didn't know how. it'd be lame to just say "hi, good morning," right? i wanted it to be somewhat unique as well. and i guess the best thing that came into my mind at that moment was to send a song.

looking back at it now, maybe sending a song was just as lame. but what's done is done. it did initiate a conversation anyway.

i walked into class with a big smile and had my attention to my phone the whole time. silly, i know. but i was still so happy that for the first time, i didn't mind about getting teased.

they (my friends) all encouraged me to meet him in person. all to which i said no. i was too shy. and i was also afraid that i'd disappoint him for my appearance. although i did tease him about not seeing me when i was in the hallway.

everything was fun and games until he, himself, offered to meet me. and i could feel my heart drop to my stomach. i started getting nervous again and refused him too. saying that i am not ready to meet him.

i scrambled through my art supplies to find whatever i need to bring for later's contemporary arts class when i stumbled upon the kaori painting i did for him. i groaned, it was ugly as fuck, and i don't know what had gotten into me that i messaged him:

i have this kaori painting i made for you a few weeks back. i'll give it to your later, then you can meet me.

i regretted it (again) but it was too late (again), because he had already said yes. thanks to that, i lost my appetite for lunch that day.

i purchased a box of milk for my lunch because i at least need to have something in my stomach or else, i'm gonna pass out. my legs were shaking but luckily enough, i got to the third floor.

i told my friends that i finally agreed to meet him. and they wanted to be witnesses. of course, i didn't want that. so i chose the time to sneak out of the classroom while they were busy so we could meet without any disturbances.

i walked out with the kaori painting in my hands, legs shaky and weak. i sat down beside the door to my classroom and messaged him that i was in the hallway waiting. holy shit this is it.

i saw him walk out of their classroom and i looked up immediately. he looked a little flushed, cautious even. i don't think he noticed me sitting on the floor just staring at him while drinking my milk. god, he was so gorgeous indeed.

and when he finally spotted me and asked, "is that you?" i gave the most wonderful first impression of choking on my milk. great.

i just nodded. i knew i said a few things but i really couldn't register what i was saying. all the while i handed him the (ugly) painting. my heart was pounding (it really went through a lot since yesterday) and my legs were still shaking. he handed the painting back to me and excused himself. and he smiled.

he smiled. at me.

i bit down on my straw and tried to relive his smile. he was smiling at me. and for once i saw him smile that was meant for me. maybe i sound a little dramatic but. it seemed so surreal. oh god, he's so beautiful.

i stood up, walked back in the classroom, got ready for p.e. class with my friends, and letting them drown in dread for not witnessing our first meeting.

but i could care less.

at least i got a moment out of it. a moment that meant so much to me.

i did not want to expect, so this time, i'll just ride the waves and see where this goes to.

but wherever it may lead, i'm pretty sure that it'll be worth it. besides, what's wrong with being a little risky in life?

Michael attempts suicide in the bathroom and jeremy finds him? I apologize. I'm a total slut for suffering.

Hi!! Thank you so much for the recommendation!! This fic is super long compared to my other one-shots I got rly into it lol. I hope you enjoy!!

I did some LIGHT research but not a ton so a large amount of this is NOT TRUE!! If you overdose on adderall, it is not possible to not get the side effect the nurse mentions. None of this is stated as scientific fact, it is all a writer twisting fact to fit their narrative - please keep this in mind!!

OBVIOUSLY A MASSSSIVE WARNING FOR SUICIDE ATTEMPTS AND DRUG OVERDOSES PLEASE STAY AWAY IF THATS BAD FOR YOU!

(Word Count : 1,933)

Michael stared in the mirror, the banging from outside becoming louder and louder in his eardrums. He watched the tears stream down his cheeks, breath getting caught in his throat as he struggled to keep himself upright. Thoughts raced through his head. Jeremy was out there - Jeremy was alone now. MICHAEL was alone now. He officially had no one ; he was officially…alone. Nothing he did had any significance. Nothing he did effected anyone, since no one was around him. His parents were constantly off on business trips, coming home once every six months if they even felt like it and sending him bills to pay for the house and food. He had no family. And with Jeremy gone, he no longer had any friends either. He didn’t have any animals - he wanted some like hell, but could never afford them, all considering. It was a shock the boy could keep up his weed habit, but it sometimes felt like smoking weed was the only thing keeping him sane. He felt his panic attack grow as his mind raced, his thoughts spitting out horrible, demeaning words. “Why don’t you just kill yourself…?” Something in the back of his head cooed, causing for his body to shiver. “We’re in a bathroom - Jake must have some pills somewhere. Open the cabinets.”Shakily, not even fully aware of his actions, Michael reached up. He ripped open the cabinet, ignoring the other side of his brain that begged him to be rational. He rooted through all of the medicine in the cabinet - ibuprofen wouldn’t do shit, and neither would the stupid childrens cough medicine. Michael knew he could somehow find a razor if he looked hard enough, but that was too much blood for some innocent person to have to clean up. His saving - or damning? who knows - grace came at the very back of the cabinet. With shaking hands, he pulled out a small bottle of Adderall, breathing immediately becoming heavier as he realized that he was actually about to do it. He scrunched his eyes tightly closed, thoughts running through him at a thousand miles per hour. Was he actually about to do this? Yes, he was. Nobody gave a shit about him - his own best friend of TWELVE FUCKING YEARS shoved him aside. Practically spat on him. Called him the same thing they had spent their entire LIVES being called. Michael quickly came to one realization - there was no place on this world for him. Nobody on this world for him. He didn’t belong here. Nobody cared, and nobody would cry. He was unwanted. He was useless.He was just some stoner loser. With that last thought, he tore open the cap, the tears streaming down his face in rapid fashion, making it harder to see. He dumped a large amount of pills - way more than the recommended dose - into his palms, downing it without thinking. He did that again, determined to make sure this worked. At first, he started shaking. Then, he collapsed to the ground, sputtering and gripping his chest. Weakly, he registered it as a seizure, and he knew it was too late at that point. He heard the door slam open. He heard screams, voices yelling for someone to call an ambulance. He felt arms reaching down and cradling him, arms he recognized. He was able to peel open his eyes for half a moment, just in time to catch Jeremy’s bright irises, before he completely shut down and everything went black. 

Jeremy was talking with Jenna when it happened. It all happened in a blur, but he remembered the main actions. Two boys ran up to him, screaming that some kid had attempted suicide in the bathroom and was having a seizure next to a spilled bottle of pills. Jeremy felt his heart drop, but he didn’t pay it any mind at first - he was sure Michael would’ve just left the party silently and sulked home. When he saw the boy in question - his best friend of twelve fucking years, laying on the ground and convulsing, he felt his heart shatter in his chest. “MICHAEL!!!” He screamed, running over to the shaking boy and weakly grabbing him. He propped his body up on his legs, completely unsure what to do while someone was having a seizure. He cradled his head, whispering soft comforts to him as he waited for the ambulance to get there. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. “Don’t worry,” he sobbed into Michaels hair, holding it tightly in his hands. “Fuck, Michael, I’m so sorry. When you wake up - fuck you, you’re GOING to wake up - I’m going to apologize, and let you know how fucking MUCH you mean to me. Fuck, fuck. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” He rocked back and forth, holding the other tightly and murmuring, more for his own sake than his friends. The ambulance arrived, took Michael away, and left. Jenna offered to drive Jeremy behind them, and he took it in a heartbeat, willing to do anything to be with Michael right now. They got to the hospital only a few minutes after Michael, but the boy had already been rushed into surgery to get his stomach pumped. That left them waiting in the waiting room for what felt like days upon days, but in reality was roughly 3 hours. Jeremy couldn’t settle down, no matter how hard he tried. He paced the room, wringing his hands and shooting his head up whenever a nurse came out to announce a name. Whenever it wasn’t Michael, he would lower it slowly, and continue to pace. At no point did Michaels parents show up, despite the fact they were contacted right away and asked to get there as quickly as possible. The knowledge that his parents felt it more important to be off wherever they were on a business trip than to come be with their hospitalized, suicidal son filled Jeremy with unbridled rage - but he would solve that later. For now, the only thing he cared about was in an operating room. Finally, a nurse came over, smiling a smile at Jeremy that made him almost feel happy. “Michael Mell?” She called, Jeremy rushing over to her as fast as he could. Jenna followed along - she promised Jeremy she would stay with him. Jake had also arrived, since it was his house and he felt particularly bad, despite the fact he did nothing to instigate it. The rest of the teens had gone home to deal with the sights they had seen, but sent their best wishes to Michael getting better. “First of all, he’s alive.” The nurse started, and Jeremy nearly collapsed with relief. He felt tears brimming up in his eyes, but he couldn’t cry just yet - not until he knew Michael was alright alright. Being alive did not equal being okay. “Second of all, you guys were EXTREMELY lucky in the fact that i don’t think he had any long lasting damage. He smashed his head a couple of times, so he has a significant concussion. Other than that, he has a few bruises, and his stomach will be extremely upset for the next few days. Most people who have seizures from overdosing on adderall - well, they don’t survive. Of those who do, they have spinal issues that haunt them for the rest of their lives, injuries from falling into things and permanent brain damage. I cannot stress how lucky he is that he did not have any of these issues.”Jeremy started crying. He couldn’t help it - the words filled him from head to toe with relief. Sobs left him, despite the squip - who had been screaming at him the entire time to stop wasting his time in here - yelling at him to stop being such a pussy. He held his hands over his eyes as he hiccuped, pure relief flooding through him. “Okay…” he muttered out weakly. “He’s gonna be okay…” “He is.” The nurse patted his arm gently, smiling softly at the boy. “He’s going to be completely fine. Now, he’s awake, but barely. You can come in to visit him, but we request there only be one person - he’s still a bit out of it and we don’t want him feeling stressed or overwhelmed.”Immediately, Jake and Jenna stood back, looking at Jeremy. That was good, Jeremy thought in the back of his head - if anyone had tried to go in instead of him, he would’ve fought them. “I’m going.” He murmured, and the nurse turned to lead him. The second she opened the door to the small hospital room, he ran forward. Michael was awake - but barely, head rolling to the side and eyes lidded as he struggled to stay awake. Jeremy fell to his knees next to the bed, grabbing and holding Michaels hand tightly. “I’m so sorry-” he started immediately, but to his surprise, Michael cut him off. “Don’t be…” he muttered, a loopy and sad giggle leaving him. “It’s okay. I’m not mad. It was…I was…stupid.” He shifted in the bed, obviously uncomfortable but trying to hide it. “No. No, it’s okay.” Jeremy rushed, tilting Michaels head up so he was looking into his eyes. “I don’t blame you at all. Please, just - my god, Michael, never do that again, I’m begging you. That was so fucking terrifying, and I didn’t mean a fucking word I said, and I was so SCARED that you were going to die actually thinking I hated you because that’s literally the opposite of the truth I love you and-”He came to an abrupt stop, realizing what he had just said and slapping a hand over his mouth. “w…What…?” Michael slowly stuttered out, eyes widened as his brain rushed to keep up with what he had just heard. “Y…You what…?”“I’m sorry.” Jeremy said immediately, waving his hands. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that - you just woke up from a surgery and you’re out of it and that’s SO not something to put on you right now and-”Jeremy was cut off by the lips pressed against his. He let out a loud squeak, entire body going rigid before he slowly sunk into it. He subconsciously wrapped his arm around Michaels shoulders and pulled him closer, making sure not to hurt him in the process. “O…Oh…” he murmured once they pulled away, eyes wide as he stared his best friends. He found the others hand, squeezing it tightly and taking a deep breath as he tried to formulate what he was going to say. “O…Okay. Let’s..”“I love you too.” Michael murmured, moving forward to bury his head against the others neck. “And the lights in here are way too fucking bright. I want them off.” Jeremy’s cheeks burned a bright red, but he couldn’t help but giggle at the words. “I’ll see what the nurse can do.” He whispered, intertwining his fingers in the others hair. He dropped another kiss on his head, closing his eyes and just focusing on Michaels presence. His breathing, his shifting, the rise and falling of his shoulders - his everything. Things weren’t fixed, by any means. Jeremy still had the squip, and Michael still had mental issues that, added to everything, were really the things that drove him to a suicide attempt. Things weren’t pretty, and they sure as hell wouldn’t be easy.

Jeremy was still terrified, but he thought that as long as they could stay like this, nothing would be able to hurt Michael ever again.

beastars episode 20 thoughts!

lots of mixed feelings about this one

this week's ep covers chapters 68, 70, 79, and 80. overall, it was fun to watch, and i enjoyed seeing some of my fave non-legosi and louis focused moments of this arc animated, but adaptation-wise i feel like this was one of the weaker episodes of this season.

im glad we got to see the side story about sheila and peach animated. i was really afraid it would get cut. i really enjoyed the shots of the wider world of beastars. though i do wanna mention that coming off of last week's ep, which was quite dark and explored how fucked up riz is, this week's ep starting with such a lighthearted story feels a lil offputting. the tones don't really match and im sure for bingewatchers it'll be really strange.

girls❤️

moving on, we finally get to see legosi's training! i really enjoyed this scene. gouhin unceremoniously throwing legosi off the balcony was really funny sjlkdjflgkdjf

next!!! the junoharu chapter!!! animated at last!!! this scene made me so happy. haru is so cute i took a million screenshots of her. though i will say it's been a common issue in this season that there are many small moments in the manga that just do not seem to have the same impact in the anime.

this scene would be another example of that, imo. i think it could've been played up a lil more

lastly, louis and the shishigumi visit the hyperdrug business. sadly, i was a bit disappointed with how the anime handled this scene. it felt like it was over too soon. i think there's similar issues with this scene as the salad scene a few weeks ago. in the manga we can see that louis feels a range of emotions at ibuki being considerate of him, but in the anime louis just seems kinda mad/annoyed by it.

i just feel like this moment did not hit as hard emotionally in the anime as it does in the manga. which makes me real sad bc i love this scene a lot. i wish the anime lingered a lil longer in this scene and played it up some more. also look at louis' baby hand compared to ibuki's dflsjdkljf

wow 😳

i think ibuki & louis' moment on the balcony did a lil better tho. also i rly like this shot

lastly... i want to express some concerns ive had that've been growing as the anime as progressed. as manga readers will know, there are a couple of key scenes between legosi and louis that have not happened in the anime yet. specifically chapters 66 and 75/76. i have a feeling these moments are gonna be squished together in the anime but the fact that both of these scenes are coming way later in the story than when they did in the manga worries me about how the anime may handle them, we're already running into some pacing issues. like, i honestly wouldnt have minded if the sheila and peach vignette got cut if it meant there'd be more time to do the legosi and/or louis focused moments right.

ive been marking which chapters the anime covers in each episode, and this week's episode pulls from chapters from 3 different volumes.

it's just a lil wild to me. and on the other side i've marked the giant chunk of volume 9 that's been skipped over for the past few weeks.

thats's like... half the volume.

not to mention that based on the previews for next week's ep it seems like the story is still marching steadily thru volume 10, chapters 75/76 whomst? also jpn fans have been speculating about an anime original scene between louis and ibuki based on one of the pics from the preview. which, given the pacing issues that've already been pointed out, worries me more about the stuff that's been skipped atm and the finale sjdflksjldkjf

idk, i may be thinking too much about all this and it'll work out somehow. im trying to hold out hope that studio orange will still be able to do these scenes justice, but we'll just have to wait and see.