saw v reviews have to be my favorite

lisa frankenstein is the most important movie in the entire world i need everyone to go see it right now or i will cry

My Week(s) in Reviews: June 9, 2024

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (George Miller, 2024)

Disappointing. It's impossible to not compare this movie to Fury Road. The sad thing is, when you do compare this to Fury Road, every single aspect of it pales in comparison. Anya is really good, here, but just never feels like Furiosa. And Chris Hemsworth is a blast, but he goes full-ham in the most distracting way imaginable. Then there's Miller's direction, which is tedious compared to his work on Fury Road. The structure of the film is awkward, and the pacing is damn-near unbearable, draining the action set-pieces of almost all of the balls-to-the-wall adrenaline in which every single moment of Fury Road was drowning. And the cinematography is a complete bore compared to the eye-melting shots by which Fury Road was almost exclusively composed. All that being said, on its own, Furiosa is not a bad movie. Unfortunately, however, it's impossible to experience it on its own in a world where the infinitely superior Fury Road exists. - 6/10

In the Land of Saints and Sinners (Robert Lorenz, 2024)

I really like this brand of slow-burn, quietly human, small-town action-thrillers. Add in this stellar cast and that pitch-perfect climax, and this is the best of its kind I've come across in at least the past few years. - 9/10

The Beekeeper (David Ayer, 2024)

Far from good, but just action-packed enough to keep it from being a complete waste of time. - 4.5/10

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (Wes Ball, 2024)

The absence of Andy Serkis felt significant. But other than that, this wasn't bad. Overlong? Definitely. But far from bad. I don't have much to say, really. The mo-cap work was fantastic, and there were some really interesting/exciting set-pieces. The cast were pretty solid straight through, with the highlights definitely being Freya Allan and Kevin Durand, who steals every second of screen-time he has. - 8/10 For Reference... My Updated Scores for the New Planet of the Apes Films: Rise: 7.5/10 Dawn: 9/10 War: 9.5/10 Kingdom: 8/10

I also revisited Peter Jackson's The Frighteners and Christopher Landon's Happy Death Day & Happy Death Day 2U. The Frighteners is every bit as amazing as it was the last time I watched it, except for how poorly the effects have aged. And the Happy Death Day movies were just as fun as they were in cinemas. I really wish we'd get more of that concept and delivery, and more of Jessica Rothe as a scream queen.

Enjoy!

-Timothy Patrick Boyer.

Okay I am ready. An actual longform review about I Saw the TV Glow, spoiler-free because I want people that haven't seen it to know what to expect.

I suggest reading this before you watch.

I think the shortest way to sum it up is that this is not a happy, uplifting, trans narrative, nor is it a Danish Girl-esque tragedy designed to tug at the heartstrings of cis people. This is a cautionary tale, designed for queer people (and particularly genderqueer people) about what can happen if you try to ignore who you are. Because most of Tumblr is queer, I am going to assume most of you guys will be entering with that perspective.

And it's worth noting that the director is nonbinary and has openly discussed this film as a trans narrative.

It's strange. It's uncomfortable. At times it feels like it's moving slow, but you need that time to sit in the emotions. This is not a fun movie to go see with your friends on a night out. This is more like doing powerful hallucinogens in a basement. Either nothing will happen and you won't click with it at all, or you will leave feeling like you just woke up from an incredibly vivid nightmare, wondering why no one around you seems as freaked out as you are.

This is why I recommend either waiting until you can watch it at home alone in the dark, or going to the theatre at a strange time of day when it won't be crowded. My theatre had lots of people laughing around me while I cried. When you are going through a really intense, painful, and emotional reaction to a film, and the people around you are laughing at the movie, it sucks.

So if you don't like the movie and don't get it at all, please be kind and do not laugh or say anything insulting in front of the other guests. If you go through the tags for this movie and many of the reviews, you can see how personally this film affects many people, and you are being very hurtful and dismissive by laughing in front of them while they're upset. This was not only my experience, but one I've seen echoed among many other viewers. So keep it to yourself until you are out of the theatre, please.

Yes, some lines are a little weird. There's things that feel a bit silly and cartoonish, and you just need to ride with it. The absurdity is not an accident on the part of the filmmakers and I think my fellow theatre-goers thought it was.

And as for the technical and artistic aspects, I only have good things to say. Phoebe Bridgers' cameo easily could have been cheesy but it was that song that first made me cry. Pay attention to the use of color. Pay attention to the music. The actors are excellent and it's very cool how many queer people were involved in the project. This is what happens when queer people get to tell our own stories.

tl;dr You will either walk out of that theatre confused and annoyed, or feeling like you just got home from a war. If you are in the first category, please be respectful to those in the second. This is not an easy watch but it's an incredible and highly unique film and it makes me excited about the future of horror and queer filmmaking.

More laughs than Binky the Clown and more holes than Swiss cheese— A Garfield movie 2024 review:

Polite Society is my favourite film I have watched this year so far. If it is playing near you, PLEASE go watch it.

The perfect amount of ridiculous and hilarious and joyful and heart warming.

A solid 11/10. I literally cannot remember the last time I laughed so much - and out loud - in a cinema.

Obv I also have to mention Gurinder Chadha and Mindy Kaling for being trailblazers and paving the way for stories like this, and for girls like us to have a place on the big screen. I will never, ever grow tired of seeing stories with ✨ flavour ✨

I love you Ritu Arya and Priya Kansara and Shobu Kapoor and Nimra Bucha. Thank you Nida Manzoor ❤️

Dune: Part Two (2024) review

I’m fully aware that the Dune sequel has been hit by acclaim from both critics and audiences, and I shall share my own thoughts in due course, but also whilst presenting itself as a serious and sophisticated piece of artsy science fiction tackling challenging themes of religion and politics, from a marketing standpoint this film has been a major farcical meme. From the popcorn buckets shaped like suggestive sand worms (or more so accurately as deformed buttholes) to the viral TikTok video of an unnamed man riding a makeshift sand worm around a cinema lobby on his way to Arrakis, or more likely to one of the gazillion screenings of Dune: Part Two. But yes, absolutely mad bonkers advertising techniques, and not at all reflective of how seriously and straight faced the actual film plays. Anyway, let’s talk Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuneee…..

Plot: Paul Atreides unites with Chani and the Fremen while seeking revenge against the conspirators who destroyed his family. Facing a choice between the love of his life and the fate of the universe, he must prevent a terrible future only he can foresee.

Controversial opinion - I was not a fan of the first Dune. I thought it was all spectacle and no substance, and even then in regards to said spectacle, it was just sand. Lots of sand and bland dark visuals. I understand that the first movie acts as a massive exposition piece with lots of world building and introductions of all the characters and various political families and the spice trade and all that sweet jazz, but honestly it all felt so dragged out. Also a lot of narrative choices felt really immature and I did not buy it. In fact, the only memorable part for me was that female voice screaming on the music score every time something crazy happened, and my does that woman have some strong vocal pipe work! Like damn, her screams…. I really felt them!

Going into Dune: Part Two, I was very much of two mindsets. One was more so a feeling of obligation to watch it, as I wasted 3 hours of my life watching the first one that I felt I deserved some kind of closure for my efforts. The other being Denis Villeneuve. Aside from the first Dune, he’s a director that has constantly impressed me with his unique vision and style. Simply look at his past filmography! Prisoners. Enemy. Arrival. Sicario. All impressive pieces of genre filmmaking. Then there’s Blade Runner 2049, that took the classic Ridley Scott movie and managed to improve on it and become one of the most thrilling science fiction epics of the last decade. Also the trailers looked appropriately exciting, and it seemed like the second movie was actually gonna deal with some serious shit finally. Again, my problem with the first Dune wasn’t that it was slow. I mean, I can happily watch Paris, Texas any day of the week and be mesmerised by the empty yet beautiful takes of the American desert. It’s more-so that the first Dune felt aimless and messy. As for Dune: Part Two?

Well, if we’re going to use The Lord of the Rings terminology, and boy am I happy to refer to the dear-to-my-heart Middle Earth whenever I have the chance, then Dune: Part Two holds the scale of The Two Towers. I may not agree with all of it, and there are still some moments that drag, though The Two Towers is also guilty of that - I’m looking at you Treebeard! But overall this is one hell of a cinematic experience and achievement. Visually for one this is eye-candy. And yes, yet again there’s lots of sand, but this time around Villeneuve manages to find very creative ways to add/take away colour to make many sequences truly impressive. There’s an early scene where the Fremen are fighting Harkonnen goons in the desert and the entire thing is seeped in this blood orange palette, reminiscent of the Martian Chronicles, and then there’s the part where we are introduced to the Harkonnen home planet where the entire screen is drenched in hardcore intense black-and-white due to their sun only giving out white and black light, and instead of fireworks there are these watercolour stroked exploding in the sky, to of course the much talked about eye-dropping sand worm riding into battle scene that had the feel of the giant elephants appearing in The Return of the King, and yes that was another most delightful reference to Lord of the Rings! As I was saying though, the entire movie visually is certainly something to be in awe of.

Also Hans Zimmer’s score!! Of course the man’s a genius, having composed so many of cinema’s greatest musical compositions. I can recommend his Live in Prague performance! Hit after hit, and I find myself spinning it on my record player a good few times. Hans Zimmer’s Dune: Part Two soundtrack feels like a thunderously bombastic continuation and expansion of the first film’s more quiet and moody opener, and that shift in tone allows for some truly spectacular weaving of the composer’s thematic tapestry for Dune – with the finest new thread being the absolutely gorgeous love theme for Paul and Chani. A truly beautiful piece that echoes the heartbreaking tragic nature of the central romance of the film. Needless to say I’ve already pre-ordered the limited edition coloured vinyl of Dune 2’s soundtrack from Mutant (the new Mondo).

As for the narrative, as that is where I felt the first film faltered the most in my humble opinion (which I share so publicly online). I really do feel like the sequel is a major set up, for since the first one focused more on the endless word building and set-ups, this movie is all about the character developments. The scope is still big with the various political and religious elements that are tackled and explored throughout, however at the same time Dune: Part Two manages to feel more intimate compared to its predecessor, with the unravelling of the romance between Paul and Chani, but more so the inner struggles of Paul Atreides, as he tries to balance his emotions of revenge with the feeling of wanting to belong somewhere, as well as his denial of being called the so-called Messiah to the Fremen people. Look, the idea of the chosen one has been a concept that has been done over and over again, however I felt here they managed to really make it feel unique and different, with Paul choosing not to take this major responsibility due to visions of the future where he sees this choice result in darkness and dread, yet at the same time realising he has no choice but to follow his destiny and calling. It’s powerful stuff.

The cast list is stacked in this one. Timothee Chalamet is a rising star, having previously excelled his dramatic chops in Call Me by Your Name and his charismatic whimsy in last year’s Wonka, but this is by far his most impressive acting feat. You truly feel his character turning from boy to man, and it’s a real and raw performance. Zendaya shares great chemistry with him, but also in her own right gives a strong turn as a warrior Fremen conflicted with what she sees and thinks. Javier Bardem’s Stilgar adds a slice of surprising humour to the mix, being so obsessed with Paul being part of the prophecy that anything he’d do, Stilgar would find that to be part of what has been foretold. Paul Atreides could literally fart and Stilgar would observe in wonder proclaiming “as it was written”. There’s also a tiny No Country for Old Men reunion with Bardem being joined by Josh Brolin, who’s alright by the way, though it’s a typical Brolin brute role. Charlotte Rampling as the Reverend Mother continues being truly despicable and honestly that wench deserves to be put in her place - the movie’s ending is very satisfying in this regard. There’s also some newcomers to the Dune world too. Florence Pugh as the Princess reminded me a lot of Padme from Star Wars, and Christopher Walken I felt was tad miscast as the Emperor. Don’t get me wrong, Walken is a great actor, but his way of speech has been impersonated and overdone so many times that it is difficult to take him seriously in a role like this. Minus a couple of strong deliveries Walken felt really lazy here. You know who wasn’t lazy though? Austin Butler! This guy understood the assignment, playing the psychotic nutter Feyd-Rautha and he’s truly unrecognisable. Even his voice is different. Gone is Elvis and in cometh his Skarsgard impression! He’s brutal and maniacal and was honestly superb, and I wish there was more of him in this movie.

Again, it’s far from a perfect movie. There are parts still that drag, and certain times where things feel surprisingly rushed, but overall this is an experience through and through, and unlike my feelings after the first film, here I find myself really looking forward to the inevitable third part. In fact f*ck it, who am I kidding - this movie is bloody incredible!! Like I can’t even - it’s abso-fricking-lutely spectacular!! And by the way I read a bit about the Frank Herbert Dune books now and the future sequels are gonna be mad, just saying. Paul’s son becomes this half-man half-worm known as the God Emperor! Things are gonna get weird! Anyway, Dune: Part Two - go see it if you haven’t already. And in Austin Butler’s voice: “may thy knife chip and shatter”.

Overall score: 9/10

some of my favorite Letterboxd reviews for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

It's Raining Men & Dead Nazis, Hallelujah! A Review of the Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024) is a movie I did not know I needed as badly as I did. Once it's released on home video, I'm going to glue every frame to my eyeballs and be content forever.

It's a WWII action-adventure comedy about buff, tough dudes (who giggle, flirt -- with each other! -- and feel feelings the way actual human beings do).

Nazis die by the busload. This is a plus. (I kid you not, in the theater bathrooms I overheard a son and father discuss the movie; the dad was like, "Any movie where Nazis get mowed down like this, it's a good movie." God bless.)

The score is a mix of big band Jazz exuberance and Spaghetti Western bravado. Christopher Benstead did not need to go as hard as he did, but thank goodness he chose to fire on all cylinders.

Guy Ritchie popped his whole... well, you know... with this one. The entire cast, from the heroes to villains to Cary Elwes, is to die for. (Cary continues to age like a fine wine. 'Nuff said!)

TMOUW is a kind of cinematic enema at a time when most mainstream films feel overproduced, underdeveloped, and like they're trying to sell you something.

Oh yeah, and Alan Ritchson, if you are reading this, I am free on Thursday . . .

@st-bullshit @junior-stargazer-goke91 @zacksnydered

5/26/2024 update: tagging @scaryrabbit for creating several wonderful TMOUW gifs. They are a godsend!

I designed the kind of simple movie log journal I'd want for myself after realizing I don't want another app to keep up with, and want just the right amount of space for a quick review/pertinent details.

50 pages w/ 6 slots per page and very happy with how the colors on my printed design turned out!

The sad wet cat energy in The Batman (2022) is off the charts