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#This story got me back into reading actually
watchmegetobsessed · 3 days
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EVEN IF IT TAKES FOREVER
A/N: aaaah im so excited for yall to read this!!! im kinda ashamed to admit this whole idea came from something i heard in an ep of milf manor but lets just move past that lol
WORD COUNT: 9k
WARNING: sexual content, toxic and verbally abusive relationship, cheating (not from Harry or Y/N)
SUMMARY: Harry Styles is used to get any woman he wants, everyone knows that. But when his interest shifts towards you, everything changes and he is ready to wait for you for as long as it takes, even when he finds out you're engaged to your asshole boyfriend. Not even that ring on your finger stops him from pining after you.
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You don’t have to look up from the drink you’re making to know who just walked into the bar. It’s like the atmosphere of the whole place shifts instantly whenever Harry Styles appears, a sixth sense always triggers a siren in your head before your eyes could spot him crossing the space between the entrance and the bar. 
You’d be lying if you said you felt no excitement every time he shows up, the way your heart starts hammering in your chest is a great tell that he is anything but neutral to you, but you’ve been trying your absolute best to keep yourself under control. For one, he is known to be a flirt. Every woman in town knows that Harry loves three things, attention, pretty women and the combination of the previous two. You’ve seen him around with different partners every time, but never with the same twice. You heard the stories, the gossips and the whispers, how he shakes every woman’s world and then leaves, never giving the chance for anyone to even try to tie him down. This is not what you want or deserve.
And for two… You’re taken. Engaged, to be precise. 
When you spot Harry you instantly hide your hand behind your back, hoping the diamond ring won’t catch his eyes, because you know he would flip. 
Apparently, his latest fixation has been none other than you. He came into the bar about two months ago for the first time. He sat by the bar and clearly tried to flirt with you all evening, ignoring all the women who were brave enough to go up to him. He remained focused on you and as the evening carried on he became more and more blunt about his intentions with you. 
“So, are you coming home with me?” he asked when you walked out at the end of your shift. He was waiting by the back, leaning against his motorcycle. You were never blind, you saw how attractive he was then and you still see it now, but you just shook your head no.
“I’m taken.”
“You got a boyfriend?” He arched an eyebrow and you nodded. You expected him to give up, but instead, a devilish smirk took over his expression. “It’ll be even sweeter when I win you over, Angel.”
You were taken aback by his confidence and you were surprised when he showed up the next day, but got used to his presence quite fast. 
It became a sort of usual, have him walk in not long after your shift starts, he sits by the bar so he can talk to you, he drinks one or two beers and then asks if he could take you home once you’re done. You decline and then it starts all over again. 
An unexpected feature of his never dying attempts is that you’ve actually got to know each other during those long hours when he sat by the bar and entertained you while you worked and when he drops the cheeky act he is actually someone not just bearable but rather pleasant. You’d never admit it to him, but you kind of think of him as a friend, you’ve shared some things with him about yourself not many know. 
Like how you found out your boyfriend cheated on you. 
“You look stunning, as always, Angel,” he greets you as he takes his usual spot and you’re already pouring his drink.
“And you’re being flirty, as always,” you give him a knowing look, but he just smirks. You give him his beer and then move over to another man by the bar. 
When you return you notice the change in him and you know he saw the ring. As if you could still hide it from him, you cover it with your other hand, even though you did nothing wrong. 
“What’s that?” he asks, though it’s obvious he knows it’s an engagement ring. 
“Harry…”
“He proposed to you?” he asks, eyes snapping up to meet your gaze. 
“Yes, he did.”
“And you said yes?” He is clearly growing angrier by the second and you worry, because he tends to lose his temper easily. You don’t think he would ever hurt you, but he might take his anger out on something or someone else.
“Yes, that’s why I’m wearing the ring,” you say and try to keep yourself busy, moving the clean glasses in front of you around. 
“Y/N what the fuck?! You can’t be fucking serious.”
“I am and it’s none of your business,” you snap at him.
“The guy cheated on you!”
“Would you stop airing my private life for everyone?” you hiss at him, looking around to see if anyone has heard him. 
“Then explain to me how you are so stupid that you want to marry a man who doesn’t love you?!”
You’ve had enough. Checking if there is anyone waiting to be served you find no one so you walk out from behind the bar and grab Harry’s wrist, pulling him out through the back door to the empty parking lot behind the building. 
“Who do you think you are? You have no right to talk about me or my relationship like that!”
“Y/N, you are making a huge fucking mistake!”
“A mistake would be trusting someone about dating who has never stayed with a woman for longer than a couple of hours! What the fuck do you know about love or marriage when you can’t even stay until the morning when you fuck someone?”
It might be petty, bringing up his reputation against him just to invalidate his words, but he brought the worst out of you. 
“Because I don’t fucking lie to women about what I want! Your man lied right into your face and then only admitted to cheating when he was busted. You think he wouldn’t do it again? You think he is not doing it now? Cheaters don’t change, Y/N. He doesn’t fucking deserve you.”
“And you do?” you snap at him as your anger takes over your body. Maybe it’s because he brought up what Jeremy did or maybe it’s because he is lecturing you about something he has no right to stick his nose into. “Let me guess, I should ditch Jeremy and run to you? We fuck, have one great night and then leave me like you leave everyone, is that what I should go for? Is that what I deserve?”
He seems to be at a loss of words and that’s new. He probably wasn’t expecting you to call him out so explicitly, but it’s been building up for a while. 
“Do me a favor and stop trying to orchestrate my life. I’m more than capable of making my own decisions. Go and chat up another woman, fuck her so you stop trying to stick your dick inside me.”
You walk past him and straight inside, your rage doesn’t die down for a couple of long minutes. You take a few orders and then slowly get back to the workflow and manage to forget about Harry for a bit. When you glance towards his spot you see that his beer is still there, but he never returned. For a second you get uncertain, have you gone too far? 
No. He deserved it and everything you said was valid. It’s not your fault he can’t take the truth. 
Two days pass by and you see no trace of Harry. You find yourself looking at his usual seat from time to time and you mistake a few tall brunette guys with him, but he never actually shows up. You tell yourself you should be happy he is out of your hair, but somewhere deep inside you there’s still some disappointment that you try to push down every time it threatens to bubble up. 
Sunday comes and it doesn’t start off the best. Jeremy is in a mood all morning and he just practically picks a fight over anything you do. It’s whether what you cook, where you put the scissors or how you forget to lock the backdoor, he overreacts everything and by the time you’re leaving for work you’re a mess from all the fighting you’ve had. 
Being away from him is actually a bit of a relief, but your peace only lasts until he starts texting you and somehow you end up fighting again, this time about the outfit you wore to work. A simple black skirt with a white t-shirt, you’ve worn this before and he didn’t even notice, but today it seems like the skirt is too short for his taste and the shirt is too see-through. 
JEREMY: Enjoy the attention of every fucking men in the bar.
JEREMY: Congrats on being a slut.
You’re angry at him, but you’re also too tired to run around in circles. When he sets his mind on something nothing can change it, so there’s no use trying to convince him you’re not doing it to get other men’s attention.
You put your phone aside and ignore it for a while, but apparently, that wasn’t the right decision. Because the next time you check it you see a bunch of missed calls from Jeremy and another thread of texts.
JEREMY: Answer the fucking phone Y/N.
JEREMY: Are you fucking someone in the toilet? 
JEREMY: If I find out you fucked someone you’re dead I swear.
There’s only twenty minutes left until closing and the bar is almost entirely empty, so you step out to the back and call him. 
“Are you done fucking?” That’s what he says when he finally picks up. 
“Are you done being an asshole? I’m not fucking anyone!”
“Don’t fucking talk to me like that! I know you’re sucking dicks for tips, don’t even try to lie to my fucking face!”
He is vivid, shouting on the other end of the line and it’s making your head throb. You’re tired and you don’t want to deal with his unreasonable jealousy right now. All you want to do is go to sleep, but you know if you go home you’ll just continue from here. 
“I’m not lying, you’re delusional!”
“Stop with the fucking lies! Don’t fucking come home until you can’t admit the shit you’re doing! I will not have a woman lie into my face!”
“What the hell are you talking about? You can’t tell me not to go home, that’s my place too!”
“I’m sure you can find a place to sleep if you suck another dick.”
And with that the call ends. You’re staring at the screen in disbelief for several moments before the tears start rolling down your face. You lean against the brick wall and slide down as you let the sobs bubble from your throat. You try to call him again, but it doesn’t even ring. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whisper to yourself as you bury your face in your hands. 
You always kept telling yourself Jeremy has a temper and that he doesn’t mean it when he says these nasty things, but every time it happens again it gets harder and harder to believe that you could put up with it. You get that it roots in his jealousy, but he shouldn’t act like this with you, you know it’s not normal and yet… you still haven’t been able to do anything against it. 
You’re so buried under your pain that you don’t even notice the motorcycle that rolls into the parking lot and stops just a couple of feet away from you. Harry’s voice is what snaps you out of your spiral.
“Y/N? What are you doin–Hey, what happened?”
He rushes over and kneels in front of you, one hand on your back as the other lifts your head by your chin. 
“I’m fine,” you breathe out, as if he couldn’t see your tear soaked cheeks and bloodshot eyes. 
“No, you’re not. What happened? Did someone hurt you?” Seemingly he is trying to find wounds on you, but you shake your head. 
“It’s just… I-I don’t…” You can’t get the words out, it’s like your mind is blocked. 
“Come on, let’s go inside.”
He helps you up and you don’t protest when his arms curl around you and he keeps you close to his chest as he walks you inside. He pulls you to the stool he usually takes and makes you sit before walking behind the bar and pouring you a glass of water. 
“I need to close,” you croak and try to get off the stool, but he stops you.
“I’ll take care of it.”
You faintly hear him making the last few people in the bar leave and then the lock turns on the door before he returns and sits beside you. 
“Now tell me what happened.”
“I don’t want to talk,” you breathe out as you close your eyes. When you open them again, Harry is still there looking at you patiently. 
Then he stands and walks back behind the bar, grabbing a bottle of tequila from the shelf along with two shot glasses.
“Alright. Then let’s drink the pain away.” He pours the liquor into the glasses and then pushes one over to you, holding up the other one. For a second you just blink at him, a warning going off somewhere in the back of your head, but you’re quick to turn it off. 
Drinking the pain away actually sounds nice right now, since you can’t go home until Jeremy is having his episode. 
So you finally take the shot and you catch a tiny smile from Harry before you both chug down the alcohol. And soon more follows, at least on your side. 
About thirty minutes and three more shots later you’re definitely drunk. But at least you stopped crying and can actually laugh now, practically on anything Harry says. 
“Oh my God, stop!” you cackle, slapping your hand onto the bartop.
“No, I swear! I climbed out the window and fell straight into the jacuzzi!”
“Did her father see you?”
“No, I would be dead by now if he did?” he chuckles.
“I can’t believe you were such a playboy even as a teenager!” you keep laughing. 
“What, are you surprised?” he cheekily asks.
“Honestly, not that much,” you snort and reach for the tequila bottle, but Harry pulls it away from you. “Hey!”
“Maybe let’s slow down a bit, yeah?” You pout at him, but he just grabs a normal glass from behind the bar, fills it with water and hands it over to you instead. 
“What, you’re not up for a bit of fun?” you grin into the glass, but take a few sips anyway. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“I do want to have fun with you, Y/N. But I’m also concerned at how fast you downed those shots,” he admits smirking. 
“Ah, how sweet of you, as if you don’t just want to take me to bed,” you scoff, but you didn’t mean it in a bitter way this time, like before. “Isn’t it tiring?”
“What is?”
“Ah, don’t make me say it!”
“I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about, Angel.”
“Angel!” you groan and then let out a sigh. “Aren’t you tired of running after me? I mean, you’re used to getting your way with women. Honestly, I thought you’d stop by now.”
Harry just stares back at you and it gets intimidating, especially when a smirk curls the corners of his mouth up. Your cheeks already feel quite hot, but now they are burning. You always hated how bothered he could get you despite all your effort to reject him in every possible way. 
Just when you think he’d ignore what you said forever, he finally speaks up. 
“Would you believe me if I said it’s because you’re different?”
“Oh no, don’t give me this bullshit!” you scoff and then just laugh it off. You change position on the stool and try to cover up just how much his words affect you. 
Because it might have been the corniest thing you’ve heard from him, but you’re also just a girl who’s a hopeless romantic and this is exactly the stuff that can turn you into a giggly mess in a heartbeat. 
“Why is it your first instinct that I’m just bullshitting you, Y/N?” he asks, but he is not at all accusing, more like curious. You purse your lip, but decide not to say anything, just sip on your water. Harry walks out from behind the bar and takes the stool next to yours. “I think you don’t know your real worth, Y/N.”
“And you do?” you roll your eyes at him teasingly. 
“I would love to, but as long as you don’t let me get closer to you, I can only work with what I see. I know you probably think I’m just lying to get into your pants, but if there’s one thing you should know about me is that I’m always telling the truth. I’d been lied to before, many times and I know what it does to you, so I would never do the same to you or anyone.”
“Is this your way of buttering me up?” you smirk, but narrow your eyes at him. Your wording makes him laugh. 
“Of course.”
“Ah, you are so smooth, I hate that about you! And I hate how handsome you are.”
Oops. That’s definitely the alcohol talking, you’d have never admitted that to him sober. You catch the surprised smirk on his face and you immediately regret opening your mouth. 
“So you think I’m handsome, huh?”
“Oh shut up! I can see your head getting big!” You point at him, but he grabs your hand in the air and tugs at you gently, just enough to make you hop off your stool and fall towards him. He catches you by the waist as you end up between his legs, your hands end up on his chest as you try to find your balance. 
“I would love to hear you say how handsome you find me, but just know, that you’re playing with my self restraint.”
Even despite the shots, you can feel the switch, your breathing becomes shallow and you make the mistake of letting your eyes move down to his lips for a moment. His fingers dig into your waist and though you know you should move your hands, you love how you can feel his warmth under your palms. 
“Do you want to tell me what happened earlier? Why were you crying?”
“Jeremy,” you say in a whisper. 
“Did he hurt you?”
“Just… with his words.”
“That’s still not okay, don’t downplay it. What did he say?”
A small voice in you is telling you not to tell him more, but his undivided attention and care towards you feels so good, it’s something you haven’t experienced in a while. Jeremy is different, he is not the soft type and though you’ve been telling yourself it’s fine, you can’t deny how much you’ve been craving this kind of connection with someone. 
“He accused me of cheating, that I… I suck people off for money.”
Harry’s hands stiffen on your waist, but he stays silent and gives you the chance to talk. You can feel your throat closing up again and your instinct is to close up, but you want to take this weight off your chest in any way possible, so you don’t hold yourself back. 
“It wasn’t the first time he flipped, sometimes he just… loses his mind and takes his frustration out, often on me.”
“Has he ever hit you?” Harry asks in a somewhat cool tone, but you can tell he is holding a lot back. 
“No,” you shake your head. “But his words… He called me a slut tonight.”
Harry exhales sharply and you see his jaw jumping. Your reasonable self is pounding down the door of the room you shut it into, but you blatantly ignore it as you push closer to him. It’s your first time being this close to him physically and you want to hate it, you really do, but truth is you feel yourself being pulled towards him and you’re just too tired and weak to fight it. 
When one of his hands moves to cup your cheek you’re ready to give in. You part your lips and give him an unmistakable look and you expect him to take advantage of the moment, but he surprises you by turning his head to the side with a heavy sigh.
“Is it not what you want?” you ask quietly, trying your best to ignore just how rejected you’re feeling all of a sudden. 
“You know it is,” he replies, turning back to face you. “I want you more than anything.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
He shakes his head and your stomach sinks. You try to pull away, but he keeps you caged against him. 
“Hey, look at me.” His hand captures your chin to make you look at him, but you keep your gaze away from him. “Y/N, look at me,” he pleads again and you give in at last. 
His thumb slowly runs across your bottom lip, making it tremble from the intimacy of his touch. 
“This is all I’ve wanted since I first saw you and it’s taking everything in me not to take it. But I know you and I know that you would regret it. I would never put you in a situation that could hurt you.”
You hate how right he is, how well he knows you. 
“So considerate, respecting the… bro code and everything,” you huff, hoping to break this weird mood that’s lingering around the two of you now. Harry’s head falls back as he laughs. Then he grabs your hand that has your engagement ring on and with a confident move he takes it off, throwing it over his shoulder and you just watch with your mouth hanging open.
“I give zero fucks about the bro code, especially if it’s about that asshole you call your fiancé.”
“Did you just–”
“What I do care about is,” he continues, “you. And how you feel.”
Your mind is racing but also blank at the same time. You just stare back at him, eyes drooping as the alcohol is starting to wear you out. 
“So what, you’re just gonna wait around, hoping I will wake up one day and leave Jeremy for you?” you ask jokingly, but his answer comes in a serious manner.
“Exactly.”
There are a couple of seconds when the two of you are just staring back at each other and you swear you can see the universe in his green eyes, the past, the present and a future together and as much as it scares you, it also starts a fire somewhere deep in your chest. 
“Can you–um, can you give me a ride to my sister’s place?” Clearing your throat you pull away and this time he lets you. 
“Sure.”
You sit on his motorcycle behind him, arms wrapped around his torso tight as you watch the night lights pass by, blinking lazily, his scent filling your nose every time you press your cheek against his back. When he stops in front of your sister’s apartment’s building you almost ask him to just drive for a bit more, but you force yourself to let go of him and climb off the motorcycle. 
“Thanks for… everything, I guess,” you awkwardly say while he is still sitting on the bike. 
“Take an Advil before you go to bed.”
“Okay, stop babying me,” you laugh and he finally breaks into a smirk. “I guess I’ll see you around?”
It’s a simple question, but the obvious hidden question is right there, out in the open. It’s your way of asking if he’ll be returning to the bar despite the fight you had a few days ago. 
“Of course. Keep my seat open.”
Nodding you’re about to turn around and walk inside, but he calls after you.
“Y/N?” You look over your shoulder, waiting for him to continue. He opens his mouth, then closes before actually speaking up. “You don’t have to believe that my interest in you is genuine. I will gladly prove it to you any way possible, but… Maybe you should look at Jeremy with the same criticism as well.”
You have no idea what to say so you just nod and then keep walking until you’re inside the building, but you stay leaning against the door until you hear his motorcycle roar up and fade into the night. 
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You’d love to say that after the night with Harry at the bar everything changed, but that’s not true. The next day you went back home, Jeremy calmed down by then, you had a fight nonetheless, which ended up with some makeup sex, but your head was somewhere else.
Or with somebody else.
Then it all went back to the same usual. Harry was there at the bar the next time you were working and luckily he didn’t bring up anything that happened that night. Not what you said about Jeremy, not that you practically admitted being attracted to him and not that you gave him the green light which he rejected. It’s all locked up in a box and put aside. 
However you can feel a slight change in yourself. Harry’s words did stick with you and have been on repeat ever since. 
Maybe you should look at Jeremy with the same criticism as well.
You and Jeremy have been together for over three years and moved in together a year ago. You can’t really remember a time you haven’t been with him. You do know that he is not perfect and the shit he pulls sometimes… 
You’ve thought of leaving him before. It did occur to you that maybe you’d be better off without him when he flipped in the past and turned crazy out of the blue. But every time it happened, he went back to his sweet old self, the one you fell in love with. 
But are you still in love with him?
One day, about a week later Harry waltzes into the bar, but he is not looking his usual, confident self. 
“Okay, hear me out before you say no,” he starts as he takes his spot while you’re drying off some glasses. “I know you might find it hard to believe, but I have friends.”
“We are off to a great start,” you chuckle.
“My best mate, Mitch, he lives two hours away so we don’t meet that often, but he is in town this weekend.”
“Good for him,” you smile, curious about what will come out of it.
“And we were talking about what we should do and all that and I made a mistake. He suggested this club we could check out and said we should meet there at nine but I asked him to make it ten thirty, because on thursdays you finish work at ten.”
Your hand stops mid-motion and you put the glass down, giving him a curious look as you tilt your head to the side. 
“Obviously he wanted to know who you were and I swear I told him we have nothing going on, but he is just so stubborn, he didn’t let it go until I promised I would ask if you wanted to come with us. So here I am, I asked, you can just ignore it and tell me to fuck off. I know you probably wouldn’t want to spend the night in a random club with me and my friend and his wife, so if you just–”
“I’ll go with you.”
Your reply surprises him the most of course, but yourself as well, though you don’t let it show. You spoke before you could think it through and not that it was said out loud and you can’t take it back… You don’t really mind it at all, to be honest. 
“Are you trying to mess with me right now?” he asks, leaning closer, examining you with a narrow-eyed look. 
“No. I haven’t gone out in forever actually, so I would love to.”
He stares back at you for a long moment, looking for any sign that might tell him you’re just joking, but when he sees none, he decides it’s better to just accept it. 
“Okay. Okay, then… I’ll, umm… I’ll pick you up after work?”
“Sure.” 
“Okay.”
“Okay,” you say after him, feeling entertained that you could surprise the always so confident Harry Styles. “So tell me about this friend of yours. Is he hotter than you?”
His expression changes in an instant, the cockiness returns and there is the man you know and…
“He wishes,” Harry laughs. “I met him through work.”
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The apartment is silent when you arrive home that night. Jeremy is working the night shift so you have the place for yourself until he comes home at around four in the morning. The bed is unmade in the bedroom, the plates he used during the day are in the sink and the hamper is full of his clothes. It’s all waiting for you to get everything done even though you work just as much as he does. It wasn’t always like this, you remember the honeymoon phase when he would cook for you and then clean up after, when he would bring you flowers for no particular reason.
When he would actually act like someone who loves you. 
With a heavy sigh you get to work even though you just finished. When the dishes are done and the washing machine is loaded you finally sink into the couch and just sit in silence for a bit. Right until a buzzing sound interrupts your peace. Only then you notice that Jeremy left his phone on the coffee table. 
Grabbing it you check the screen and see that one of his buddies is calling. The name flashes and you wait for it to stop. When he does, you just keep holding the phone, staring at your own reflection in the black screen. 
Jeremy never lets his phone out of his hands, he takes it with him into the bathroom and he is always on it. Tapping on the screen the device comes to life and asks for a password. He never felt comfortable using  face ID or his finger print, so he only uses a password to lock it. What he doesn’t know is that you’ve seen him type it out so many times that you actually figured out what it is. 
No, it’s not your name or the date you met. It’s his favorite line of his favorite movie. 
I am Ironman.
Before you could think twice, you type it in, no space, capital I in Ironman and then the phone unlocks. A rush of excitement washes over you as you open the messages in an instant and start scrolling through them. 
Texts from his dad, from his boss, from his friends and texts from…
Andrea.
And Penelope.
And Bella.
And Riley.
Unmistakable messages, photos and even voice memos. It’s all there and you just keep scrolling and reading and it feels like it never ends. When you get to the end of one thread you find another. It’s not just one woman, but about a dozen. Not even you can turn a blind eye over it this time.
But surprisingly, you don’t feel like you want to scream or cry or punch the wall. Instead, you just put the phone back where it was, walk into the bedroom, grab a bag and start packing some stuff you’ll need for the next few days. When you’re done you walk into the kitchen, grab a paper and leave him a note. 
You have two days to move out. Take your shit and move to Andrea or Penelope or Bella or any of your bitches. Goodbye. 
Then you take the ring off your finger, place it next to the paper and walk out.
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Harry wasn’t sure what he expected to see when he arrived to pick you up after your shift. He thinks you’re the most beautiful woman he has ever seen even when you’re wearing a stained shirt after a long day, so it really doesn’t matter to him what you wear.
But when you step out through the back door in your skin tight black dress that’s top sheer enough to tease him with a peek of your black bra underneath. 
“Are you gonna just stand there and stare or are we gonna get going?”
He opens his mouth to say something, but then he just shakes his head with a laugh as you finally reach him by his bike. 
“Let’s get going.”
You hit it off with Mitch and his wife Sarah instantly. It’s like you’ve always known each other and you can’t tell if it pisses Harry off or he just likes to be the victim every time the three of you make a joke at his expense. 
Even though it’s a Thursday night, the club is pretty busy, but not the kind that makes you want to crawl out of your skin, because someone is always touching you wherever you go. Harry however stays close to you no matter what, like a guard dog, watching your every move. 
It’s giving you butterflies. Especially because he is doing all this even though he doesn’t know about your little secret you will share with him, but you’re waiting for the perfect moment. 
You start off in a booth, having a few drinks, talking and having fun and when the DJ starts playing songs that are just too irresistible you and Sarah drag the men to the dance floor. They try to protest, but it doesn’t last long. As gruff as Mitch can look, it’s obvious he is whipped for his wife and would do anything Sarah asks him. 
And Harry… Well, the moment he sees you moving to the beat he practically glues himself to you. Though dancing is not your biggest strength, you can definitely follow the rhythm and move your body in a way that’s appealing to the male gaze. 
You can tell Harry is trying to keep his cool, but the more he holds himself back, the more you push his buttons. Touching him while dancing, moving in a way that obviously makes him struggle, pressing up against him and then you pull out the big guns when you start grinding on him, when you have your backside pushed against his front. His hand on your stomach twitches when your ass meets his crotch in a not-at-all innocent way and you hear his groan even over the loud music. 
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Y/N,” he speaks into your ear, his hot breath sending goosebumps down your spine. You turn your head and your lips almost brush against his as you look at him innocently.
“Not having fun, Harry?”
“You’re teasing me.”
“Do you not like it?” You turn around to face him easier, but press your front against his to keep the physical contact on the same level. 
“Y/N, you’re… taking it too far,” he warns you, but it just urges you to keep pushing his boundaries. You’re enjoying this way more than you probably should but you are giving yourself the satisfaction this one time. You’re not afraid of asking for his forgiveness later, because you have a feeling he will gladly give it. 
“Am I doing something wrong?”
“No, but I might if you don’t stop.”
“Don’t stop what?”
“Acting like… you’re trying to seduce me.”
“I can’t do that? Why?” It finally brings him to the point where you wanted him to be.
“Because you’re engaged and I’m–” he snaps, but you don’t let him finish.
“Except I’m not.”
You both have stopped moving in the middle of the dancing crowd and Harry is staring at you as if he just saw a ghost. Slowly, you raise up your hand and show him your naked fingers. Reaching up he grabs your hand as if he had to physically touch your ring finger to make sure the ring is not there anymore. 
“I ended things with Jeremy and he moved out. I’m single.”
His gaze keeps flicking back and forth between your eyes as he just keeps staring at you, it seems like you broke him and he forgot how to function, but then his expression changes and you read it perfectly. 
It’s not enough for him that you and Jeremy broke up. He wants you to give him the green light.
You look down at his lips and think of all the times you fantasized about kissing them and the guilt you felt every time, but now it’s nowhere, pure desire took its place and you’re ready to give in. 
You move a hand to the back of his neck and push yourself up, making that first move, but Harry is quick to take over from there. He moves fast as his lips crash down on yours, finally kissing you with the heat of his months long pining and never dying persistence. 
You’ve had your fair share of passionate moments in your life before, but nothing compares to the way Harry practically devours you, he’s demanding, dominant and rough, but the more he takes from you the more you’re willing to give until he has everything in you. His hands are holding your face firmly, tilting your head in the perfect angle for him to greedily kiss you until your lips are numb and you’re gasping for air. And when you can’t keep up with his hunger his mouth moves down to your neck, kissing, biting and sucking shamelessly as if you weren’t on a dancefloor at a club. He has one hand move from the back of your neck into your hair, giving it a gentle tug while his other hand makes its way down your body, your ribs, your waist and then it stops on your ass, squeezing it without remorse, earning a moan from you that just riles him up even more. 
For a split second you’re convinced he is about to fuck you right then and there in front of all those people. But to your surprise he pulls back, his hand wraps around your wrist and he starts pulling you out of the crowd. At the side he finds Mitch and Sarah dancing and he leans close to his ear. You don’t hear what he says, but judging from the smirk and the way Mitch nods, he didn’t try to sugarcoat anything. 
You don’t even get to say goodbye properly, Harry lets go of your wrist, but his arm is quick to curl around your waist as he leads you towards the exit. The cool night air feels refreshing after the heat inside the club, but you don’t get to enjoy the change, Harry is eagerly pulling you towards his motorbike and when you reach it he pushes you against it before kissing you hard again. Your ass is pressed against the seat and for a moment you think it’s about to fall over along with you, but it stays steady while Harry is having his way with you. Then he just simply pulls back and helps you up, making sure you’re holding onto him tightly. 
“This will be the longest ten minutes of my life,” he says, making you laugh as he starts the motor and moments later you’re speeding down the streets. 
It really is an excruciating ten minutes until you arrive at your place, especially because you keep squeezing your thighs against his, giving him a rather hard time and every time you have to stop at a red light, Harry’s hands are quick to find your naked legs, roaming them shamelessly until he has to hold the handles again and focus on the road. 
As soon as he parks in front of the building and you get off the bike, he is back to focusing all his attention on you, so it’s a challenge to even make it up to your apartment. His hands are mapping up every inch of your body and he takes every chance to kiss you on the lips, neck or shoulder, making it almost impossible for you to even open the front door, but at last you manage and he is quick to shut the door and then push you up against it. 
But he is not kissing you this time, instead he looks at you with such passion and tenderness at the same time, it makes your whole body shiver. 
“Tell me no at any point, okay?”
“Okay,” you whisper as a sudden nervousness washes over you. You are not nearly as experienced as he is and sex with Jeremy had been more about his quick relief rather than something you both could enjoy the same amount. 
“Hey, we don’t have to do anything tonight. Holding you is more than I even hoped for tonight,” he admits with a chuckle and he gives you a short, soft kiss. 
“I want to. I just… I’m afraid I won’t be… good enough.”
You’re nervously fidgeting with the neck of his shirt while his hands are plastered to the door behind you either side of you, keeping you caged in with his body. 
“Angel, you had me running after you for two months and the past weeks felt like the longest foreplay of my life,” he chuckles. “I should be the one being nervous about coming in ten seconds.”
You can’t help but crack a smile at his words and he did ease your nerves a bit, but you’re still worried. With one hand he caresses the side of your face so softly, you almost question if he is the same man who was groping your ass not long ago in a packed club. 
“I doubt you could ever not be good enough for anyone but especially for me.”
Your inside melts and there are no words that could describe the way he is making you feel. But instead of talking, you push yourself against him and kiss him, urging yourself to overcome your insecurities so he doesn’t regret choosing you. 
You manage to hype yourself up so well that when you reach your bedroom you pull away and make him stop at the edge of the bed as you stand just a few feet away from him. His eyes roam up and down your body with such hunger you have never seen from a man before and it gives you that last boost to step your game up. 
With slow, teasing movements you start to pull your dress up, revealing more and more from your legs, than your underwear and when the fabric is bunched up around your waist you cross your arms, grab the hem and pull it up and over your head before dropping to the floor, all while Harry is eating you up with his eyes, sitting there with the smuggest smirk on his face as he watches you like he is in a movie theater. 
“Fucking perfect. Come here,” he holds a hand out that you take and he pulls you between his legs, placing your hands to his shoulders as his palms slide to the back of your thighs. He places a few open mouthed kisses to the swell of your breasts before his hands squeeze your thighs, urging you to move your legs and make you straddle him. As you climb to his lap he captures your lips in a toe curling kiss and he catches you by surprise when he flips the two of you over and throws you into the mattress. 
He straightens up but just enough to get rid of his shirt, revealing even more tattoos you haven’t seen and a toned chest with abs you’re already burning to touch, kiss or lick. Or all of these above. He comes back down on top of you, his lips return to yours while his hand easily slides underneath you, unclasping your bra and seconds later he is throwing it across the room before his mouth starts moving down your neck, collarbones and then to your chest. You rake your fingers through his hair as his tongue swirls around your nipple and you gasp when he gently bites and tugs on it, flashing you a cheeky smirk when he looks up at you before he keeps moving down on your body. When he reaches your underwear he takes the elastic between his teeth and tugs on it then lets it go so it snaps back against your skin, making you gasp and give him a protesting look, but it just makes him chuckle. 
“What? Don’t tell me you didn’t wear it for me,” he mumbles against the lacy fabric, skimming it with his lips. 
“I did, but not to have you play with it,” you breathe out, however you quite like how playful he can get even in such a heated moment. This is a side of him you’ve gotten to get just a glimpse of but you’re getting the full ride now. 
“Alright. Next time then,” he shrugs and hooking his fingers into the elastic he tugs it down as you lift your hips up and soon it joins the rest of your clothes on the floor, leaving you fully naked in front of him. But before you could worry about your looks, his mouth is already on your throbbing clit, making you forget about your whole existence. 
He turns you into a whiny mess with his lips and tongue in just seconds and when he adds his fingers into the equation all you can do is repeat his name like a prayer to all powers above. You’ve never experienced anything like this, not that anyone you’d been with did it the way Harry is. Before you could even process what’s happening you’re coming on his face and he is licking up every drop of it in every possible sense. 
Your body already feels like jelly when he moves back up and he kisses you with your own taste still on his tongue, but he is not even nearly done with you. 
He kneels up and unbuttons his pants and then pushes them down along with his boxer briefs so now you’re looking at just how good enough he is finding you. You can’t take your eyes off his erection, it’s big, rock hard and the tip is glistening from the precum. It’s like the sight has turned on something inside you, because before you could have a second thought you’re moving until you’re on your knees as well, hands wrapping on his cock. Harry moans at your touch and a triumphant smile stretches across your lips as you lean down and don’t stop until your lips are wrapped around the head. 
He sits back onto his heels, eyes glued to you as you struggle to push further and further down his length every time your head bobs down. You’re far from taking his whole cock, but every time you go down again and again he keeps praising you. 
“Fuck, Y/N, you feel so good.”
“Look at that mouth, taking my cock so well.”
“That’s it Angel, you make me feel so fucking good.”
You don’t stop until your jaw is sore and when you finally come up he doesn’t hesitate to kiss you hard, pushing you back onto the mattress as he lands on top of you again. 
Half blindly, you reach towards the nightstand and into the drawer, grabbing a condom and handing it over to him. You’d love to be the one to roll it onto his cock, but your hands are starting to shake from how much you want to feel him inside you already. 
Once the condom is on he lowers his hips between your legs and you feel his length wedge between your drenched folds. He moves his hips back and forth a few times, coating his length in your arousal before reaching down between your bodies and grabbing himself by the base. 
“As much as I want to take you in every possible pose, I meant that I might not last long,” he chuckles as the head is already teasing your center. “But I won’t stop until you come again. And I’ll have all my fantasies played out next time.”
Next time. These two words make your heart jump, knowing that he is planning to have a next time and you’re still thinking about that when he finally thrusts forward and into you, filling you up inch by inch until his whole length is buried inside you. 
He stills for a few seconds, maybe to let you get used to his size or maybe to regulate himself enough to last longer, you don’t know for sure. But then his lips capture yours again and he starts moving. His hips are rocking back and forth in a steady rhythm and when you hook your legs around his waist he picks his pace up and his thrusts become a bit rougher than before, but it’s just what you needed. 
Your second orgasm is already building up in the pit of your stomach and you claw at his back as he buries his face into the crook of your neck, his moans getting muffled by your heated skin. You feel his muscles flex on his back and you can tell he is close, but he is fighting to hold back for you.
He lifts his head and rests his forehead against yours, keeping his rhythm steady and you see the struggle in his eyes. 
“I’m close,” you breathe out and he nods with an almost torturous look. “Let it go, Harry, I want to feel you come.”
“Not until you—”
“That’s what I need,” you urge him and he moans before he thrusts forward harder than before, he stays still for a moment, gasping for air as he pulls back and slams into you again, riding out his own orgasm that quickly triggers yours. 
Seeing him fall apart because of you is all you needed. 
He keeps moving for a while, but his thrusts become sloppier until they come to a halt. His whole weight is pushing against your body as your hands are lazily dancing up and down his sweaty back. You feel his heart hammering against your chest and listen to how his breathing slowly steadies before he rolls off of you. Moving with him you curl up against him, your head resting on his chest. 
Then, out of the blue he lets out a soft chuckle. Curiously you lift your head to look at him questioningly. 
“I think I need an award for lasting that long,” he comments and you laugh with him until his hand cradles your face and he pulls you up for a soft, lazy kiss. 
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A siren wakes you up that passes by the bedroom window. You grimace with your eyes still closed as you roll from one side to the other, your hand reaching out, searching for Harry’s body, like you did during the night, but this time all you find is the empty mattress beside you.
It instantly sets off a siren in your head as well. 
Sitting up you look at the rumpled sheets on the right side of the bed, but Harry is still not there. Your stomach drops as you crawl out of bed and grab a shirt and a pair of panties to put on quickly before walking out of the bedroom, hoping you might find him in the kitchen making breakfast, but when all you find is your own mess from the day before, panic takes over.
There won’t be next time. That was just an empty promise, he left you just like he left everyone else. How could you even think that you were different?
Tears are dwelling in your eyes as you wrap your arms around you, but then you hear the front door open and you turn around to find Harry walking in, balancing two coffees in one hand and a paper bag in the other.
“Hey, you’re up! I went to get us breakfast, because I didn’t find much in your fridge and—Y/N, are you crying?”
“No,” you shake your head, but then a sob bubbles from your throat. Harry places the cups and the bag to the side table and rushes over to you in panic. 
“What happened? Talk to me,” he pleads, but you just shake your head, embarrassed that you instantly assumed the worst of him. 
It takes only a couple of seconds for Harry to put the puzzle pieces together as well.
“You thought I left,” he says. 
“I got scared for a moment when I didn’t find you.”
He doesn’t try to play it off or play the victim. He pulls you into a tight hug and gently sways until you calm down. When he pulls back and looks you in the eyes all you see in his gaze is determination. 
“Remember what I told you the night when I dropped you off at your sister’s place?”
“That I should look at Jeremy with criticism.”
“Before that.” You remain silent because you can’t recall what else was said that night. “I said that I will gladly prove to you that my interest in you is genuine.”
Oh, yeah. You remember that.
“The proving starts now. I will do anything to earn your trust.”
“Even if it takes a long time?” you ask, biting into your bottom lip. He smiles warmly at you.
“Even if it takes forever.”
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
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brailsthesmolgurl · 22 hours
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LOSE YOU TO LOVE YOU
Preview: You had to lose your lover to protect them against harm but what happens when someday, fate connects the two of you again? Warnings: Angsty but yes to fluff too, slightly-slightly suggestive towards the end! this is gonna be a bit of a lengthy read as always
P.S: This is an extremely detailed request by one of you guys, its a bit challenging for me to write it hence I decided to take it upon my own twist for the story. Or else, I might actually get so demotivated to write this piece and I do not wish for that. Overall plot would still be half-preserved but I had decided not to use any names just for the overall inclusivity for other readers. Great ideas should be shared and I think my readers would like to be included too in this wonderful plot :)
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"What...what have you put into this y/n?" Rafayel stumbled, the mug slipped out of his hand when his legs started buckling beneath him. He was in disbelief as he watched the mug broke upon impact against the hard tiled floor. It was like time had slowed down for him and he could only blame the orange juice he had drank. "Y/N!" He calls out to you again, hands now clasping onto his slender neck when he slowly crumpled to the ground. Yet, his calls for you fell upon deaf ears, four walls on each side of the room watched him suffer.
You peeked over the heavy door leading to his room and your eyes watered at the sight of your fiance lying motionless on the ground. Knocking him out is the only way you can think of the moment you were threatened by an elite group of assassins. They are the reason behind his bounty value--that had exceeded by two million-- and they presented the only option for you to 'save him' is by leaving him.
They cornered you on one of the days when you were out dealing with Wanderers. Although you are fairly combative, one woman against a dozen of elite assassins would not grant you a survival route. Hence, you were practically forced to listen to their proposal. Not much details were disclosed to you about why they were willing to retract the bounty for your fiance but you figured if he could live a better and safer life without a bounty hung on his head then why not? Even if you were to be at their disposal.
"Leave him and he shall walk like a free man he once was." You remembered the grim voice of a man as he relayed the terms and conditions to you. "We do not seek a confrontation here as you are with child."
Flashing back to the present, you lightly rubbed your belly, still wondering how they know of your pregnancy when it was not even announced to Rafayel. This further tells that those assassins are not to be messed with. "I am sorry." You knelt down beside your lover, studying his peaceful features as he was snoozing. "I am sorry I have to do this to you. I promise you that I will be back for you when the time is right." Pushing yourself off of the floor, you left without turning your head back. Each step taken ripped your heart out of your chest even more.
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Years had gone by, with you disappearing off of the grid and went into hiding. During then, you had been living under a pseudonym, revamping your whole image and identity to go full on undercover. You did this because you did not want Rafayel, nor anyone from your past to track you down. However, peacefulness does not last long when news of Rafayel’s bounty is on the rise again and it got you wondered what he could have done to piss them off. You did some digging yourself. With the help of your new identity, you can slip in and out of the clubs without a worry. Eavesdropping just enough to get the information you need to propagate further in tracking down the same man who once threatened you to leave Rafayel.
The trail has led you back to Linkon City and you stood at the balcony of the unit you had rented, overlooking the scenic view of the concrete jungle below. The city has changed a lot since the last you had been here and that is probably years ago. “Mummy.” A child-like voice snapped you out of your reminisce and you looked down, watching the toddler walking up to you. A perfect photocopy of your ex-lover; with dark purple locks smooth to one’s touch and eyes the same as his hair. He is like a doughy-faced version of Rafayel. The child that you bear while you left Rafayel now stood in front of you, eyes full of hope before another similar face joins him. Yes, you gave birth to twins. The other is yet another photocopied version of Rafayel, but adorns the eyes as deep as the blue sea. That is how you manage to tell them apart from one another.
“Mummy you okay?” The blue-eyed toddler followed up with the question. Although only been in this world for three years, the both of them had grown so much, not only in terms of height but also knowledge and other aspects that would commonly be found within a toddler’s growing age. They inherited Rafayel’s artistic talent; always doting on painting to pass time whenever you are home with them. Whereas from you, they certainly are highly adaptable and smart. “We go for walk mummy?”
“Yes, let’s go for a walk.” You stood upon and went over to the front door to grab your coat, handing the twins their coats as well. “Put them on alright, the night is going to be chilly and I do not want you guys to be sick.” Out of habit, you slotted your baseball cap right over your head. It is a good strategy to not stand out from the crowd when you get to shield parts of your face at certain angles. You grabbed your wallet and phone and proceeded to walk out with the twins.
Nights in cities are never boring; with bustling traffic and chatters hailing from crowds. This was what you had missed out on for the past years. Staying by the countryside does have its perks but still, you missed the noises of a city that is alive. Dank pathways were sprawled out at the park as you walked with your toddlers by your side. The rain had just subsided and it smelled of dew and silt. But, something seemed off. There were hints of metallic smell in the air, a smell closely resembled to fresh blood. You stopped in your steps and started scanning the area, your ears perked up to maximise picking up even the slightest of gales. “I’m scared mummy.” Your toddler had seemed to pick up on the shift of aura as well.
A twig snapped and you too, snapped yourself towards the source of the sound, shielding your kids by pushing them behind you and hands dug deep into your coat, ready to draw out your weapon if danger ensues. Your eyes were narrowed into slits, relying on dimly lit street lamps to highlight the bushes in front of you. “You know what you should do right?” You looked down, watching your toddlers nod towards you. They were already trained from young to flee should there be any situation that requires them to. Both of them have a watch equipped with a navigation system that will lead them directly to the nearest police station or anywhere that is a confirmed safe house for them. With that, you ushered them and watched as your kids held hands with one another and started to tread lightly out of the park, the watch illuminating their way.
You pulled out your gun the moment an amorphous figure emerged from the bushes and before it could reach you, it burst into flames, screams of agony like a banshee on a killing spree tore through the empty park. Luckily, your children had already fled and a beep on your watch notified you that your kids are safe, and they are currently back to the unit that you had rented. You lowered your gun and stared at the tallowing figure in front of you, the blazoning red tinge of flames looked familiar, it was as if you had seen it—“Y/n?” You blinked, looking up to find another figure emerging from the same path taken by the man who had now disintegrated into ashes and blended into the night skies. “Is that you?”
“Rafayel?” Your jaw dropped, watching him emerged from the bushes. It must be because you missed him so dearly that your mind decided to deploy a mirage of him amidst danger right? It’s like those final wish scenes and you could not help but feel goosebumps slowly drawn to the surface of your arms. “You’re not real.”
The man in black clomped over and you stumbled backwards, gasps fleeting out of your lips as you thought you just saw a ghost. “Careful.” The grip on your arm gravitated you back to reality. You are now staring right into the eyes of your ex-lover, the same guy you thought was killed because there were no news of him anymore. The same man that you were forced to leave in order to protect his safety. The love of your life, the father to your twins. “You are back.” He enveloped you into his arms, his breath disheveled, his tone of voice ebullient. You were expecting a frustrated Rafayel, not forgiving you for leaving him, not acknowledging your existence because you had left him so suddenly without a reason.
Yet, you could not seem to fathom his current state as he held you tightly in his arms. Rafayel had been nothing but the bearer of a deft husk of a ‘widow’. Ever since he woke up to an empty home, he became relentless. Thomas too, was greatly affected by his melange of emotions. Everyone else who worked around him were forced to be more obsequious than ever, showcasing utmost sycophancy in fear of getting panned by the artist. For he had went through a change of heart, thirsting only for revenge upon the group of people that took away his lover. Succour was indeed offered by Thomas, to seek out information regarding your whereabouts. Rafayel agreed and thanked him, providing him all of the money needed to seek you out but deep inside, he knew that finding you would not be a simple matter and his worry haunted him further.
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The walk back to your place was awkward, one-sidedly perhaps. Rafayel had not stopped talking, telling you about his journeys of tracking down every single one of the members of the elite group and threatening them to spill their guts about your whereabouts. Given that you left him on your own will, none of the men knew where you had migrated to and that literally got their guts spilled afterwards. He then went on, telling you about how he had handled the truth of you leaving him, that, when it came to a certain point in his life, he was the one that caused you the suffering instead. His words did travelled into your ears, but it was not being processed properly as you were too occupied on thinking about how does one tell their long time lover that they had became a father without their knowing?
The both of you stood at the front of your door now, you praying quietly to yourself, hoping Rafayel would not freak out if he were to meet both of your twins upon stepping into the entrance. You imprinted your thumbprint on the scanner and the door unlocked with a crisp click. Two sets of footsteps were heard clomping towards where you stood and you looked over to Rafayel immediately to analyse his reactions towards your twins. “Mummy— who’s this?” The both of your twins immediately froze, being only a couple of steps away and their eyebrows were strewn together in confusion. The father of the twins stood frozen too, eyes darting in between the two toddlers, noticing the familiar and yet uncanny features of theirs.
When Rafayel got to the leader of the elite group, he was foretold that you were pregnant when you left but he supposed that he was unable to take a grasp of time after you had left. Both of the boys are a bit taller than kids of their age, both rocking the same purple locks as his, pallid and flabby cheeks that Rafayel was certain to own when he was younger back in the days and not to mention, the both of them got your lips. Every lip motion is a total reflection of you. “You were pregnant with them when you left me right?” You took the note that Rafayel does probably know of the existence of you having a child but maybe, he is still in shock, not expecting twins at all. You nodded in response to his question.
Rafayel got onto his knees and smiled, tears started jerking around in his eye sockets, tainting his purplish-pink eyes a glassy tint. “I am your father.” He opened his arms to the twins but your kids cautiously looked over to you, awaiting for the confirmation as they had never seen their father before. Upon noticing your nod and smile, the twins squealed in surprise and hurtled themselves into his arms. Just like that, a family reunion happened.
“You already got them to bed?” Couple of hours later, Rafayel had placed the two reluctant twins of his to bed. Given both of the kids had been longing to have a father figure in their life, a few hours of interaction with Rafayel are definitely not enough for them. However, bed time at 9pm came to be an obstacle for the twins. Yawns started replacing laughs and Rafayel knew it was time to call off play time and switch to story time. You would usually read them to bed and Rafayel thought it is a great idea to put the kids at ease by telling his story, portraying himself to be the main protagonist set out on a journey to save a princess and to rescue her minions as well. The princess being you and yes the minions are the twins.
“Yeah, they could barely listen to my story for five minutes.” Rafayel plopped down next to you on the couch and extended his arm across your back, an invitation for you to lean against his shoulder and you did just that. “I might have went a little hard on them for the tag game.” That explains the heavy stomps and patters of footsteps coming from the room and hallways just now as you were taking a rest. You settled your longing gaze on your fiancé, realising that years had done no harm to him. The same hairstyle that he wears without much styling, the same siren like eyes that only holds you as the apple of his eyes, the same moles that were dotted across his face and the same warm smile he could ever emblazoned onto his features when it comes to being around you. He never changed.
As your insecurity started to settle upon you, particularly towards your own looks. Where time and stress has taken a toll on you, imprinting its effects with fine lines and wrinkles on your face, painting dark circles under your eyes and causing you to constantly wear a fatigued smile. “Do I look different to you even after all of those years Rafayel?” You peered up to him.
“My love.” Rafayel’s warm hand came up to caress your pinched cheeks, you had indeed became much more thinner than he last seen you, before you left him. He knew you must have not suffered any lesser when you had to constantly be on the run while having to bring up both of the kids by yourself as well. But, part of him was grateful that you no longer had to run, for he had eliminated every single member of the damned association. “You still look the same as how you always were.” His eyes wandered, down your cheeks and to your lips and back up again, lust wriggling its way through his gaze. “I missed you dearly my wife. I promise you that no matter what happens ever again, I will not let anyone convince you to leave me anymore. For I, will take full responsibility for the safety of our family.”
Your eyes reflected like glass under the dim lighting, words of affirmation coming from your lover after such a long time seized all of the rumination in your head. You did not notice the streaks of tears till you felt the pads of his thumbs swiped across both sides of your cheeks, his hand now fully cupping your small face. “Now, may I take the responsibility to care for my wife and to make love to you all night to prove my love to you?” The words he spoke were laced heavily with romance and lust that he had held back for years and little did you know, he is going to give you another child and make up for all of the lost times with you and his children.
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A request from @cherriejoyponce, fulfilled with my own twist. Hope you like it!
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picnokinesis · 3 days
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Thoughts on Different Types of Representation in Doctor Who (and how fandom responds to it)
So I watched Rogue last night and - okay first, oh my days, absolutely ADORED it, this is definitely my favourite episode of this season, it was just so much FUN and it hooked me right from the start. And then the queerness! I was actually thinking to myself whilst watching it how wonderful it was because it felt like a queer story in a way that wasn't like, showboating about how progressive it was? [editorial aside: this is not comparing it to anything in particular, just a general observation]. The characters were just queer, within this wild and wonderful sci-fi story, but also their queerness wasn't the Only Character Trait they had and their story didn't resolve around their queerness, but their queerness was crucial to the plot in a way that was just lovely to see - and as a writer myself, it's personally the way I love to see our stories being told.
But then I made the mistake of going into the tag - always a foolish thing to do, because for some reason everyone loves to praise this era by criticising the previous era (as if it hasn't been criticised enough...like we know most of y'all hate Chris Chibnall for committing no worse crimes than Moffat and RTD before him...we know). And I found a couple of folks talking about how this episode alone did more for queer representation than the entirety of thirteen's era, whiiiiich at first really Peeved Me Off - like didn't these people understand how important Yaz's arc (especially Eve of the Daleks) was to a LOT of people? But then I was like 'well actually this is interesting', right? Because I think there's two very different kinds of representation going on here - and they're both very important in different ways, but one tends to get lauded as brilliant rep and one always gets put down as not good enough, or even bad rep. And what's the main difference? Whether the characters have a gay kiss or not.
So I just thought I'd share some of my thoughts and feelings on this, and why I think both these kinds of rep are equally important! To be clear from the get-go though - this is definitely not me ragging on anyone who likes more about one than the other (in fact, I think everyone likes one more than the other). This is merely a personal essay about it and the frustrations that comes when people in general do lift one up over the other. I'm gonna put it under the cut though, because it might get a bit long!
So, back when Eve of the Daleks aired, I remember having a lot of conversations about the representation in that episode - in particular with a very good friend of mine, who is a lesbian. And we realised that when it came to rep, we both actually wanted pretty different things. I'm aroace and genderfluid, and so a lot of what I saw in how thirteen was written - especially in terms of her gender (or lack thereof), and also her apparent lack of attraction (at least, in how I read it) was just incredibly affirming to me. I've never EVER seen a character on screen that I could see myself in both in terms of sexuality and gender. Whereas my friend saw things quite differently - thirteen was a lesbian, and they wanted to see that kiss between these two characters, because for them too, it was so rare to see that, and, in their words, they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. And we both realised that the reason that queer representation can feel so intense and important is, simply, because there isn't enough of it. We're all desperately reaching for the same small portion - and none of it is ever going to please everyone, or resonate with everyone. The stakes are too high.
So then, when there wasn't this dramatic romantic ending to Yaz's story, when there was no queer kiss, I was very sad for my friend, who didn't get that representation, but so painfully relieved for myself - because I got mine. So then it sucked a lot to see a lot of people getting really angry that this wasn't queer representation, that this was even homophobic - I even had someone tell me that aromantic representation in this regard was always going to be homophobic, because no-one would ever write it to be aro rep, and would instead only ever write it to avoid writing a gay kiss. And the thing that got me the most was that, REGARDLESS of whether they kissed or not, regardless of how you read either of the characters, there was one thing that was certain:
Yaz was queer. In text. Her emotional plotline centred around her realising that she was attracted to the Doctor (who was presenting as a woman - although, again, I don't think she really identified as such). The fact that she and the Doctor didn't get together by the end does not erase that fact.
They didn't kiss - but so what? Are queer people only queer when they're kissing someone of the same gender, or having gay sex? Are queer people not queer in their day to day lives, when they're not doing any of those things? Are queer people not queer when they're not dating? Are queer people not queer when they're trans, when they're ace, when they're aro, when their queerness doesn't resolve around attraction to the same gender?
And, to be honest, I think a lot of my feelings around this stem from the sort of exclusionist rhetoric that we saw a LOT of towards the ace/aro community back in 2012 that we still see now, that we're seeing towards the trans community now, that we're still seeing towards bi people, for pete's sake. It's this in-community infighting, pushing each other down to try and get up to the top, to keep all the "resources" for "the people who really need it", and it causes a serious amount of harm - but the truth is (and to bring this back to doctor who) that it all comes back to what me and my friend were discussing. We're all scared, all desperate to be seen - and when we are seen, it's the most incredible experience and the idea of losing that (or having someone else undermine it) feels inexpressibly awful. Having the thirteenth doctor...I suddenly realised this is what all the straight cis white dudes get all the time. She was like me, and that was indescribable. And then losing her - and having RTD not even be able to have a man wear her clothes because he was too worried about what the tabloids would say to be able to show a gnc person on tv...and then constantly described her as The Woman Doctor for the next entire episode - that hurt. A lot.
I've spoken to other friends who felt so seen in the character of Yaz - those people who realised they were queer later in life, those who fall in love with people and it doesn't end up going anywhere, those who don't get the whirlwind queer romances that people often call 'good representation'. Myself and many of my aspec friends have felt so seen in thirteen's almost entirely romance-less arc, and myself and my trans/genderqueer friends felt very seen in the way that thirteen's character would have been exactly the same if she'd been a man - the only difference was how the other characters around her interacted with her. Gender was something that happened to her. And when I watch episodes like Rogue, even though I don't relate to that representation, I just feel overwhelmed with joy because I know how important it will be to others that I care about. I think my sadness then comes from the fact that the way Thirteen and Yaz were written are just as important to me and many people that I know, but because they didn't kiss, it's not considered queer enough. Am I not queer enough, then? Are my friends not queer enough?
We need more episodes like Rogue, like The Parting of Ways, like Praxeus, like The Doctor Falls, because they are unquestionably and unapologetically queer, in a way that can't be avoided. We also need more episodes like Eve of the Daleks, like The Haunting of the Villa Diodati, like the rest of thirteen's era where the representation is an undercurrent throughout the whole story - but also undeniable, in a way that Yaz's story arc is, even if it doesn't end in a kiss, even if it doesn't end neatly and happily. Personally, I definitely would love to see more stories focused on aromanticism and on transness (especially ones that are written by trans people for trans people, rather than by cis people for cis people), but that's probably going to be down to people like me and other writers that I know actually getting into the script writing industry - and that depends on the people who are already there letting us in. One thing that I've always appreciated about Chibnall is that, after leaving Doctor Who, he began a programme for training up new showrunners with ITV, because: "showrunners are the gatekeepers and too many of the gatekeepers look like me."
Anyway, I probably have more thoughts that I've forgotten, but that's generally the gist of it. I think the more we fight over whether rep is 'good' or 'bad', relating to whether we see ourselves in it or not (rather than 'is this genuinely harmful or unhelpful', which I think is a more crucial question) the more the waters get muddied. We have different needs and wants, and no single episode is going to represent every facet of our community. But each episode, each story like this is a step in the right direction - and even rep that isn't perfect (I have thoughts about The Star Beast, for example) is still extremely positive and important, and definitely something that should be celebrated, even as we keep looking to the future for what we would like to see done differently, done better. And some day, I hope, there'll be so much queer rep, it'll be so normal, that those stakes won't feel so high anymore. It won't feel like everything hangs on how a certain show or storyline or episode is written. We'll all be seen. And that will be absolutely fantastic.
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gojo-mochi · 2 days
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OMG- ur frat boy au 😩
But I def head cannon that law even though he is more reclusive than the other frat boys he does occasionally participate in group tutoring and has you sit next to him and when you start to tease him during the tutoring he would start to tease you back but actually like finger fuck you or play with your clit as a punishment for making him distracted while he's supposed to be getting his service hours in.
I also hc that for Ace ( my love 😍) would absolutely 100 fucking percent would tutor you or your tutoring him in the library in the middle of the night when no one is around and is having you read out loud for him and he's absolutely going ham in your pussy with his fingers and he makes you squirt on the textbooks making them get all wet and dirty with your juices so he makes you go up to the librarian and report that you accidentally got a book wet.
Jdbfwhebwhh- I fucking love ur frat boy au tho like 😩 I would actually do anything for men who are frat boys like-
Sorry for the late response! I wanted to write something for this and things kept piling up BUT i'm here now and thank you so much for liking my frat boys! Heeh ٭(•﹏•)٭
Law is so mean!! So, so mean god… But he likes it (secretly) when you tease him by wearing those short miniskirts, and wearing no panties during your tutoring session!?! You were def asking for him so don’t cry to him when he’s keeping you on edge the whole time and you better answer his question correctly to show that he’s a good tutor or else…..(ノ´ з `)ノ
THAT SO DIRTY ACEEE RAHHHHH, god.. He such like a fuckboy (in my story at least) JUST THAT puppydog sweet boy look with a fuckboy personality just hit so gooooooddd ughhhhh thank you for giving me these prompts! Hope you enjoy the fic! (◕ㅅ◕✿)
CW: Toxic! Law and Ace (My version of them as fratboys! Not canon-adjecent! I love these sweet boys), mention of cheating, manipulation, P/V, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, squirting, voyeurism.
Word Count: 7k
A/N:THank you so much to @kazieai for being my beta reader!!!  ( ˘ ³˘)♥ Little surprise at the end of Ace eheh <3
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Tutoring Session with Law: 
Group study session means less time he has to waste actually tutoring since he can just cross off a lot of extra hours by helping everyone at once. He would never admit it out right to you or anyone for that matter, but you were his favorite student by far. Not necessarily because you were a good student or anything like that. It was because in every session he had with you, you always wore the shortest skirt paired with something low-cut so when you lean over the table to ask a stupid question, his eyes would get a nice view of your chest. By the third session you had with him, you forego wearing a bra and just let your nipples get all perky from the nice cool library’s air conditioning. 
He really punished you the first time you did that, pulling and tweaking at your little nubs until you were crying from oversensitivity. Only to soothe away your cries with his skillful tongue and fingers digging deep in your pussy. You loved it though, teasing Law to the point where he lets go of his restraints and just bends you over the table and starts punishing you. It’s a good stress reliever for both you and him, of course.
Law almost denied your request to join him and other students in group studying, knowing that you’ll try to pull some kind of dirty trick while he’s trying to finish his service hours. Though once you gave him your sweetest puppy dog eyes, he caved in pretty quickly. And to his surprise, you showed up wearing something that actually covers your skin and wasn’t just some torn cloth marketed as “clothes”. A simple turtleneck sweater with a matching skirt and silk stockings to top it off. 
Law eyes you warily when you plop down on the seat next to him, but says nothing to you and focuses on the other students instead. You pouted at him and pretended to write down some notes or read the textbook you were assigned. Absent-mindedly flipping thru the pages, barely paying any attention to the words. You hear Law sigh a lot during the session, pencil tapping against the wooden table when he sees one of the other students typing away at his phone under the table. 
His other student doodling in his notebook, not paying attention to anything Law was trying to teach them. It was you, Law, and two other male students all huddled together in a corner of the library. While he could just pretend to teach them and get this session over with, he wasn’t sure if his hours for this would count if half of his students were gonna fail or get worse grades after his tutoring. At the very least, he knew you would retain some of his teachings, you knew you would be punished if you didn’t after all. 
And it wasn’t the fun kind of punishment either, the one where you were left wobbling with red cheeks afterwards. No, if you end up failing a quiz or your grades drop even a little, Law would either ignore your attempts to reach out to him or worse. He would openly flirt with someone in front of you, most likely one of the girls from the sororities his fraternity would often host parties with. He would prance around with one of those girls strapped to his arm, nodding and using his fake smile on them. Knowing how much your blood boils when those girls start pressing their boobs on his bicep, that was your job, goddamn it!
You took your anger out on your studying, furiously writing down notes, huffing and puffing through your textbook, and staring holes in your teacher's skull during lecture. All so you could get one of the top grades during the test next week and so you could flip off the sororitie’s girls when Law publicly praised you and you pulled him in for a steamy kiss. No one was really sure if the two of you were actually dating or fucking around. Whatever kind of sick game the two of you were tangled in, the other frat members knew not to fuck around with you. Law has special access to the chemical lab at the university and he made vague threats about poisoning his brothers if they tried anything with you. 
You rolled your eyes when you found out about it, but secretly it made your heart skip a beat, seeing how possessive he would get over you. You could see now by the way his brows were furrowed in that Law was getting more than annoyed. You decided to fuck with him even further, by inching your leg over to his side. Slipping out of your shoes and going over to Law’s side and nudging his ankle softly. Law glanced at you from his side vision but you pretended to be writing down something in your notebook instead, not paying him any mind. 
He pinched the bridge of his nose and took in a deep breath, deciding to focus on the other students first. Law grabbed one of the heaviest books on the table and slammed it down hard on the wooden table. The thump made everyone else jump a little, all eyes were on Law now who just glared back unamused. 
“Now that I got everyone’s attention, I’ll be honest and say that I don’t give a fuck about any of you.” He takes a quick glance your way as he said that but focuses back on the boys. One of them tried to open their mouth to speak back but Law cut him off. “That being said, we all are here for a reason, and my reason is that I’m forced to get service hours or my lab privileges are revoked.”
He grabbed a pen in his hand and point it at the male students, “And trust me, if my lab privileges on campus get revoked, I will find a way to set up a new one, and I think the first test subjects I’ll use, are the dumb-fuck students who fucked me over.” He said in a casual tone, twirling his pen around his fingers, the students gulped nervously just now noticing the tattoos on his hands. You suppressed giggling at this tense moment, feeling your heart flutter whenever Law gets like this. 
You quietly scoot closer to him, rubbing your foot up higher on his calves and resting a hand on his thigh. Law continued on like nothing was happening, “So, I suggest for the sake of all our sanities, that you two actually get to studying.” He leans back in his chair and spreads his legs apart wide, knocking your leg back a bit. You pout at this but it didn’t deter you, moving your hand further down and squeezing his bulge a little bit. Already hard and poking through his jeans, you bit your lips at the realization. 
Scooting your chair even closer until it was right next to Law’s chair, the other two boys were too scared to pay attention to you or your antics. Law’s lip twitched but he pressed on forward, instructing the boys to open their own textbook and start listening to his lecture. While you do love his voice, hearing him drone on about molecules and compounds didn’t really help make you wetter. 
You decide to get bolder and unzip Law’s jeans very slowly. Your head turns to face him as you do, pretending that you’re really listening to his lecture but in reality you just want to see if he could maintain a straight face while you slip your hands inside his pants. His eyes were pointed at the two other students, glaring harshly making sure that they were taking down the right notes. With his legs spread wide, you had easy access to fiddle around with his bulge. 
“Wrong, redraw the structure of that compound again, you missed an oxygen in there.” Law drones out, flicking some eraser shavings over to the student’s paper. All the while your hands dips down lower and lower, cupping his balls in your warm hands and playing around with them in the way you know he loves. Law grunts softly in response but does not take your hand away, you bump shoulders with him and pout. 
“Law, can you look at my notes too? I’m not sure I did it right…” You whined, squeezing his balls a little harder to make sure he turns his attention to you. This time Law grabs your wrist firmly and yanks your hands out of his pants. His eyes turned to you, and you flinched back a bit at the heavy glare. 
Perhaps you went a bit too far this time with your antics, he turns his body towards you and looks over your notes, all the while his hand still holds on to your wrist. He points over some areas you should’ve written down more information and silently moves his hands off your wrist and down onto your thigh. You looked down at his hand but he snapped his other hand in front of your face; “Oy, pay attention, ya?” 
You flinch back a bit as his hand inches further down your thigh, his long fingers tracing around the edge of your skirt. His golden eyes piercing down your soul right to your pussy as he makes you rewrite some notes down before turning his attention back on the other students. You fidget under his cold hand, causing him to pinch your skin lightly. A silent order to keep you still and the others unassuming. 
The grip you had on your pen was shaking a little by now, his hand getting bolder with each passing second and he wasn’t even looking at you when his fingers finally reached out and poked at your panties. Well, he would have poked at your panties, if you were actually wearing any today…
You fought back a yelp as his finger pushed past your walls a bit, his nails scraping against your softness. Meanwhile, Law had to maintain a straight face once he realized that you weren’t wearing anything down there today. Oh, now you were in for it…
Law wasted no more time as his skillful fingers plunged right back in, pointer and middle finger sliding down your slick walls, as his thumb gets placed right on top of your clit. Gently rubbing it in small circular motions. With just enough pressure for you to feel it but not enough for you to fully enjoy it. You tried to buck up your hips to get more friction but Law just pinch your clit in response, making you hiccup out loud, having everyone's attention on you. 
You shy away from their gazes, your face heating up especially from Law’s eyes on you. You cough awkwardly and point to your water bottle; “Heh, just a dry throat.. I’m alright.” Your shaky hands grabbed the bottle and you chugged down the rest of the liquid inside as the other students went back to their notes and Law’s fingers went back inside your cunt. 
Only his middle finger this time, Law slowly sinks his long digit in and out of your pussy, covering his finger in your sweet slick. All the while, he maintained a bored expression on his face and actually started tutoring the other students. They were whipped into gear now, asking questions and asking for help on parts they weren’t sure on. This session might turn out great at this rate, but you couldn’t really give a shit. 
You wanted Law to give you more attention, more friction, you wanted his cock inside of you now. Or at least more of his fingers, he was hitting the right spot but it wasn’t enough for you, barely enough for you to feel that spark of pleasure each time he curled his finger in. You bit in the inside your cheek as you dared to bring one hand down under your skirt and start playing with your clit yourself. Of course, Law did see you doing this, but he did nothing to punish you for it at the moment. Instead, he actually plunged in another finger inside your tight walls, scissoring them outward as your own fingers start to play with your clit. 
You knew that a punishment was gonna come sooner or later, but the pleasure felt so good to care at this point. Your own fingers started to speed up along with Law, and just when you were finally reaching that point of pure ecstasy, he pulled his fingers out, causing a needy whine to slip past your lips.
Everyone’s head snapped towards you, Law calls out to you with a faint smirk painted across his face, “Oy? Everything alright there?” He leans into your space, smearing his slick-covered on your forehead as he pretends to check for a fever. Your face heats up even more at the contact, wanting to slap his hand away but not wanting to cause any more suspicion. You meekly nod your head while glaring sideways at Law, he pulls his hand away with a sigh and motions for everyone to start working again. 
“Alright, the library closes in 30 minutes so everyone listen up. I’m gonna go over the most important parts you need to know for the upcoming exam.” Law snaps his fingers and holds out his notebook for everyone to see. “Let’s make the most of our time now, so we never have to see each other again, yeah?”
His eyes gaze over everyone, gauging their reaction and seeing if they were actually paying attention to him. You were still glaring at him but at least your eyes were on him as well. He nods and leans back in his chair, holding up his notebook in one hand as he casually flips it easily by maneuvering his fingers around the pages.
His other hand went right back to its rightful spot, in between your legs, not that you were complaining. You may grumble or whine about it later to him in private but as of now, the need to be fucked overrides all your other senses. With a few taps on your thighs, you readily spread your legs apart for him. 
“...the most important thing is to remember the oxygen count…” Law rambled on and on, his voice drowning out the small wet plapping noises he was making underneath the table. He made sure to keep eye contact with you on occasion as well, not letting your eyes close or wander away from his lecture. 
Your own hands balled up into tight fists on your lap as you desperately try to keep calm and still while Law finger-fucked you under the table. His thumb sporadically swipes at your swollen clit, just to keep you tethering on that sweet euphoric edge. 
“..you can skip remembering all the structures if you’re better at remembering the formula for them, just bullshit it enough and the professor will go easy on you…” 
You dug your nails into the palm of your hands, your thighs shaking around Law’s hand as he added another finger inside. His thumb picked up the pace and you slowly felt your self-control slipping away. 
“Well, that’s about covers most of it, does anyone have any questions?” Law draws out, looking around the table and stopping at you. His eyes glinting at your nervous face and carefully watching for your reaction. “Y/N? You seem like you have a question you want to ask, no need to be all shy now~” He teased a little at the end, and now everyone’s eyes were on you. Your mouth flounders around a bit, as you try to find your voice. 
“I-um don’t really hav-ahhiee!” 
Law being the prick that he is, made sure to pinch on your clit right in the middle of your sentence. Making you scream out loud, your scream echoing in the quiet library air. Your whole face burns with embarrassment as you hear Law quietly snicker to himself at your side. The other two students look at you with a mixture of confusion and redness on their faces. 
Before you could try to explain yourself, the librarian pops out of nowhere with an angry tick marked on her face. She points to her watch and clears her throat loudly in annoyance; “While it is nice to see students finally studying for once in here, I must warn you that the library closed around 10 mins ago. So please kindly pack your stuff and head out.”
She clicks her heels together and gives the group one last glare before huffing and leaving. 
“Uh.. thanks for the session, dude. I’ll just head out now.”
“Yeah… me too.”
The two male students quickly gathered up their stuff, ready to bounce from the tutoring session. Law waves them off after giving them one last order, “Don’t forget to sign the paper to let the school know that I tutored you, cause if you don’t, I’ll come find you..” 
They both nod in unison and scuttle off, while you smack your face in your hands. Letting out an embarrassed groan over the events that all occurred. Ready to get up and go scream about it later in the comfort of your bed. However, Law had other ideas as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his chest. 
A hand on your cheek as he hooks his thumb inside your mouth, forcing you to look directly in his golden eyes. 
“Hold up, you’re not thinking about leaving this place while you’re still this messy… were you?” To emphasize his point, his other hand comes down under your skirt to swipe up on your wet cunt. Collecting some of your warm cream on his fingertips and stuffing them in your open mouth forcefully. Mixing your own cream with your spit on his fingers for a while, wiping the excess on your lips and cheeks as he pulls out his fingers. 
He gathers up all the items left on the table and unceremoniously dumped them into his backpack. Slapping you on the ass and leading you to the bathroom for some extra tutoring.
“Guess, I’ll have to teach you to clean up after yourself too. Be grateful, ya? I don’t just do this for anyone.”
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Tutoring Session with Ace:
“Ac-Acee-hnggg We ca-can’t keep doing this.” 
You attempted to keep your voice as low as you can, while being pounded from behind that is. Ace’s large and warm hands gripping tightly on your waist, his thumbs digging into your sides, leaving marks for the future. Your incessant whining only fueled Ace to bury his cock deeper inside you, his hips slamming against your ass with each pounding. 
The chair you were gripping on for balance starts to wobble under the increasing intensity, your nails dig into the wood for any semblance of purchase. Leaving scratch marks that will surely get you in trouble if the librarian ever finds them. Ace bends down, breath tickling the back of your neck, his hot tongue licking up a stripe of sweat beading down your skin.
You bite back a moan, eyes darting around to see if anyone was passing by to catch you in this sinful act. Though with the pleasure building up inside of you at a rapid pace, you find it harder and harder to keep your eyes open. And just as you were about to cum, Ace bit down on your shoulder, hard.
The stinging pain went straight down to your core as you cum almost violently, your pussy clenching down on Ace’s cock which was still buried deep inside your womb. He insisted on not wearing a condom since, “It doesn’t feel good, and none of the sizes fit him anyway.” 
So, all of his cum spilled inside, filling you up to the brim as your legs shake underneath. Your head falls down on the seat’s cushion, while the rest of your body is being held up by Ace. He licks at the wound on your shoulder, lapping up some blood droplets that were seeping out. You groan when his licks start to get more and more sloppy, much akin to that of a dog. Specks of spit start hitting your cheek as he starts to shake his head side to side with his tongue still hanging out. 
You hiss at him and turn your head to look over your shoulder as you try to push him away. He laughs at you with a wide smile, leaning back and pulling his cock out and watching his seed begin to spill out as he does so. He grabs you by the waist and tugs you back into his chest. Spinning around so that he could sit on the chair with you snug on his lap. He spreads your legs open with his own, turning his head around as he searches for something on the ground. 
“Ah! There you are!” 
He smiles as he bends down to pick an article of clothing off the floor. He shows off your own cute pair of panties right front of your face, leaving you dumbfounded for a second. His smile grows mischievous like a cat that just got into something they shouldn't have. 
Ace hums to himself as he spreads your legs wider and reaches down with one hand and parts open your pussy with two fingers. Some of the cum starts to spill out, coating his fingers in the process but Ace happily purrs at the sight, bringing the panties down as well to wipe up his mess. 
“Ace!”
You whispered-yelled in both embarrassment and a bit of anger, you wiggle on his lap, hands pushing on his biceps to try to get away from him. Your efforts were useless as Ace just continued on cleaning up his cum dripping out of your sensitive cunt without a care in the world. Even humming a little as he does so; 
“...and the girls say, Save a horse, ride a cowboy..”
You sort of regret showing him that song, he loves to sing it especially when you’re riding on top of him. With a few more swipes up and down your pussy and a few bites from you on his biceps, the task was finally done. Your now cum-soaked panties were once again brought right up to your face as Ace showed off his work. 
“Ace, what the fu-mmph!”
Just as you were about to start to scold Ace, he unceremoniously shoves your ruined panties into your open mouth, gagging you in the process. Your slick and Ace’s cream started coating your tongue, letting you fully taste the sinful mixture of your actions. You had enough and ripped your panties out of your mouth and smacked it on Ace’s face, which he didn’t really seem to mind. 
“Ow, ow, Ok, I’m so-OW!”
Ace yelped and jumped up in pain, pushing you down to the ground in the process. Holding his crotch with both hands as he looked at you with teary puppy eyes. 
“Sweetheart! How could you hurt me in my most precious area like that?”
He rubs his crotch a little and looks down at it with a heavy sadness in his eyes, while you roll yours in return.You go over to slap him hard on the back as you begin looking for other pieces of your clothing scattered across the floor. Not your first time being fully naked in the back of the library but you were already caught once and you weren’t looking forward to being caught a second time.
Thankfully, it was just another member from his fraternity who caught you two. A sort of mean-looking guy, you think his name was “Lawrence”? or something close to that. He’s a fellow tutor but you really haven’t crossed paths with him often, he usually keeps to himself. You remember at that time you had your back against the wall while Ace held you up, fucking you against the wall. 
So you were the first one to notice “Lawrence” come around the corner, the only look of surprise on his face was his eyes widening a little before he gave you a little smirk. Leaning on the bookshelf, with a smug little smile on his face as Ace kept pounding inside of you. You tried to tell Ace that someone was here but your moans kept cutting you off and Ace was too pussydrunk to care at that point. 
You hid your face in Ace’s shoulder, embarrassed to be found in such a position. You peek over at your fellow tutor, finding “Lawrence” rolling his eyes at your shyness and getting off the bookshelf and taking a book out. He waves goodbye to you, and leaves soon after. You told Ace what happened afterwards, but he just said, “Oh yeah, us frat boys do that all the time. We like to share sometimes, ya know?”
You didn’t know and you weren’t sure if you wanted to know more. You shook your head free of these memories, patting your skirt down and making sure that your shirt was buttoned correctly. Now that you were fully dressed, just without your panties, you were ready to continue on with this “tutoring session”. You hear the sound of shuffling behind you and then a heavy weight on your shoulder as Ace sets his head down and begins to whine in your ear.
His arms snaking around your waist and pulling you back into his naked chest, at least he put his shorts back on this time.
“Come on, puppy-boy, time for us to actually study.”
Ace whines ever harder at your statement, wrapping his arms around you tighter. “But,  Baby girl!” You shake your head and start to move with him still wrapped around you, step by step as Ace drags his feet behind you.
“Firecracker, please let’s just talk this out. We can study even more once my balls get emptied again!”
You ignored him, walking over to a bookshelf and browsing the lines of books for an easy studying one. 
“My love, my goddess, my only one, the one that holds my heart, my soul, and my cock and balls.”
Ace gets closer to your ear with each nickname, you felt your cheeks heat up at the sweeter names, until he said that last one and you showed him that you really did hold his balls in your hands. Squeezing lightly as a warning, which only causes him to moan and start grinding on you instead. 
You squeezed harder and harder until he got the hint and backed off, with that weight off your shoulder, you grabbed the book and turned to Ace. Pointing to the book with an exasperated look on your face, “Listen, I need your grades to at least go up a few percent. I am literally about to get fired from this job, if they don’t.”
Ace opens his mouth to retort with something lewd again but quickly shuts it once he sees how serious you are. He nods softly, and sits down on the ground, tilting his hat back and looking up at you with a beaming smile.
Ace held his hand up like an honor scout and looked clearly into your eyes as he said, “I promise, I’ll try to learn something this time and pass the next exam with flying colors.”
You were still doubting him a little but decided this was the best you were gonna get, so you plopped down in front of Ace. Opening the book and telling Ace to read the passage out loud and tell you what the theme and underlying tone of that passage was. Ace scoots around you and places you on his lap, which causes your eyebrows to furrow but he holds his hands up again this time in mock defense.
He starts reading the passage out slowly, his smooth voice lulling you to a sense of calm in his lap. You settled in rather quickly, leaning back on his chest, your eyes following along as he spoke. After he was done and you asked your questions, you were surprised to find his answers free of any innuendos and contained actual full-fledged thoughts. 
He always acted like a dumb frat boy or a horny puppy so this side of him was new to you. The two of you kept on reading passage after passage, with your questions getting harder with each passage to test Ace’s knowledge and to see if he was still paying attention or not. He passed every question with flying colors, remembering every small detail and characters that appeared, and your heart fluttered with each answer he gave. This new side of Ace was somehow more attractive than his fuckboy persona. But you knew that Ace wasn’t the type of guy to date for long, you heard stories of broken-hearted girls with his name tattooed across their chest. 
A new pair of voices jolted you from these thoughts, as you strained your ears to try to make out the words. 
“Why are these books so far back?”
“I think it’s because no one really borrows them, even most of the professors don’t even know what half of these books mean.”
“Geez, and some of these are ancient too, almost as ancient as Professor Rayleigh, don’t you think?”
“Heh… yeah, let’s just find the damn book and go, it's kinda creepy back here…”
The sound of footsteps gets closer and closer to you, and you start to panic a little. While you both were clothed, it was still pretty obvious that you and Ace fucked, with the dishelved hair, the dried drool on your chin, and numerous lipstick stains and bite marks that litter across each of your bodies. 
You made a move to get up quietly, only to be pulled back down with an “Oof” escaping your lips. You turned your head back to glare at Ace who made a shushing motion with his finger, with his arm securely holding you down on his lap. 
“Wh-?”
Ace holds a hand over your mouth as you attempt to question him, holding you down even tighter as you try to wiggle out of his hold. He leans in to whisper in your ear, as your feeble attempts to escape proving no match to his strength. 
“Hold on, baby girl, take a listen. I think they’re really close to us now.”
You glared at him harder but stopped your struggle and listened closely. Hearing the sound of sneakers sliding along carpet and books being picked up and flipped thru, the two newcomers were browsing the aisle right next to yours. 
“If we try to move now, they’ll definitely catch us. So, let’s stay put alright, love?”
You hate to admit it, but he was right, there was no way you both could sneak over to get your stuff and sneak past them quietly at this point. You could only hope that they find the book they’re looking for in that aisle and leave quickly. You sigh and settle back in Ace’s lap, his hand leaves your mouth and rests on your stomach. 
The two of you fall quiet, listening to the shuffling of books and small murmurs from the two other students. The heat radiating from Ace’s body was pleasant against the chilly library’s air. Making you snuggle even closer to Ace, wanting to soak up every last bit of warmth he has to offer. 
Ace chuckles and wraps his arms around you, flexing his biceps as he does so. Swaying you from side to side softly, resting his chin on your shoulder, his hair tickling your face. He turns to give you a chaste kiss on the cheek, and it is with moments like these, that really make your heart flutter. Then, you start wondering what it would be like, if you and Ace made it official.
No more sneaking around, no more pretending not to be jealous when you see him with another girl at a party, no more keeping your friends up at night wondering if he really likes you or just your body. If you just bit the bullet finally and asked him what he really thought of you and this ‘relationship’. Does he hold the same feelings you do? Or is this really all just a game to him and you're just another side piece in his lineup.
While all these thoughts swirl inside your head, you didn’t notice how one of Ace’s hands started slipping lower and lower on your body, lingering on top of your thigh for a few moments. Ace carefully watched for a reaction but seeing as you were still lost in your head, he took this as a sign to keep going. Gently picking up the edge of your skirt and moving it upwards, inch by inch until more of your thighs are exposed and he could just barely see some of your pussy if he angled his head correctly.
You suddenly felt more chilly than before, snuggling backwards to find that warmth again, your mind still stuck in the clouds only to be shot awake by a finger swiping up your cunt. A hand was already on your mouth before you could scream, “What the fuck?!”
Ace shushes you, his grip tight on your face but not to the point of actually hurting you. 
“It’s just me, little flame, it’s just me…”
Ace nuzzles your cheek as an attempt to calm you down, while his finger still inside your cunt starts to wiggle around a little. You breath in roughly thru your nose, trying to express your anger at this ordeal. Ace only chuckles in return, softly calling you “Cute..” and continuing on. Swiping his thumb up and down on your still sensitive clit, making your legs jolt out a bit. You muffle out curses and squeeze your eyes shut, not wanting Ace to win this battle. But damn, he really knows how to use his fingers…
“I just want to thank you for today, my flame…”
“You seem so stressed out lately and this is my way of showing just how much I love you..”
Bullshit.. You knew what he was spewing out was just lies.. But you can’t deny how his voice affects you when it gets like this. All soft and smooth, filled with so much affection you could drown in it. A sickeningly sweet pool of lies, with you in the middle, slowly sinking down and down with each interaction you have together with him. And the worst part is, that you know you could easily just leave, get out of the pool and go find someone better… someone who might actually love you for you. 
But you don’t, you let Ace pull you in with his charms and stupid smile. You embrace the lies and pretend that in the end when it is all over and you’re alone in bed at night, that it doesn’t matter and you’re not crying. So, you pretend to struggle a bit more, pretend not to enjoy his cute little nicknames that he only reserves for you and none of his other fuck toys. 
Your hips begin to move up and down as Ace’s thumb starts rubbing small and quick circles on your clit, moving his fingers in and out in that rhythm that drives you wild. Muttering filthy praises in your ear as his movement gets faster and rougher, you moans subdued in his palm. Your legs jerking and twitching as you get close to that blinding pleasure that Ace always brings you to. 
With a final curl of his fingers he pushes you over the edge, taking his hand away from your mouth as you scream out, only to push his fingers down your throat as your body spasm and squirt all over yourself. Drool spills down your chin as you gag on Ace’s fingers, panting heavily as your body calms back down. You grabbed Ace’s wrist and pulled it away from you, so you can finally breathe normally again.
“What? You’re not gonna help me clean up?”
He brings up his slick-covered hands to your face, which you promptly slaps away and shush him for being too loud. 
Ace gets up and laughs, pulling you up with him. 
“Hey, hey, don’t worry! Those two left a while ago while you were zoning out about something in that pretty little head of yours.” 
He dusts off his pants and stretches his arm over his head, you turn to look away from him with an embarrassed blush flushing your face. You check the time on your phone and sigh, noting that it was almost library closing hours. 
“Come on, it’s time to go, the library is about to close.” You signal to Ace to get going, as you look around for anything you may have dropped. 
“We have to be fast about it, I also want you to check out the book to read later, alright?”
“Because, I really really need you to ace this test.” 
Ace snorts at that, “Hah, ace this test, good one, little flame.” He slaps you on the shoulder hard enough to make you stumble forward a little. 
“I mean it, Ace! Seriously, please just-”
“I got it, really I do! But, I might need some motivation during the late night, you know? Like a cheeky little photo to cheer me up?” 
You glare at him through your sideview, turning on your heel and stomping over to get your items, readjust your clothes, and fix your makeup if need be. You do some breathing exercises to calm yourself down, while you pack everything up in your bag and Ace’s bag, using some wet wipes you have on hand to clean yourself up as well. 
Ace comes sauntering by, soon after you were done with everything, holding the book up high in his hands proudly. You sigh and cross your arms at him, ready to get the night over with, your legs barely managing to keep you upright and walking after everything you've been through. 
You throw his bag his way, and walk forward first. Leading the way to the front of the library. Zipping up your jacket all the way up while walking so you could hide marks Ace may have left on you that you didn’t catch earlier. As you were reaching the front, you were surprised to see a student working the front desk instead of the usual cranky old lady. 
You’ve seen this student before, I mean she was gorgeous after all, you think she was in architecture or something to do with history. She usually hangs out with another beautiful girl with orange hair. Her blue eyes catch yours and you gulp  nervously, feeling like your entire being was being stripped down by her gaze. 
You steel yourself and walk right up to the desk with Ace coming up right behind you. Before you could say a word, Ace drops the book down on the desk and starts jogging off. 
“Hey! Sorry, I just got a text from my bros, they need me for something, so I gotta go! Just give me the book tomorrow or whatever, catch you later!” 
He leaves out the door before you could say anything or catch him, leaving you alone with the hot librarian lady. Somehow you couldn’t bring yourself to lock eyes with her so you just awkwardly cough, keeping your eyes on the book as you spoke. 
“Ah..um, I would like to check out this book please. Just for a week should be fine ... .thank you.”
You watch as her perfectly manicured hands take the book away and flip it open to scan the barcode inside the cover. You fiddle with the hem of your sleeves, too shy to watch her work. You hear her flip a few more pages and hum; “Interesting…”
You felt a small tap on your own hand and looked up to find her showing the book to you, opened to a random page, a random page with very suspicious wet spots on it…
Oh..
Oh no…
Oh my fucking god, you were gonna kill Ace then yourself. That if you don’t burn in shame and embarrassment right now. You sputter and flop around to come up with a believable excuse for those stains. 
“O-oh! Um gosh! Really sorry I think I might have dropped my water bottle on the table while we were reading, heh. I-I mean, yeah! I definitely knocked over a bottle of water when reading that book…” 
You trail off, realizing how high pitched your voice was, how Ace didn’t even bother to hide his kiss marks or love bites before he left, and how stupid you probably sound to her right now. Your shoulder slump down as your voice fades off to a quiet apology. She chuckles at this, a light and airy sound that makes your heart start racing hearing it. She catches your eyes again and this time you can’t look away. 
“Don’t worry darling, I know how to keep a secret.” She winks at you, and goes to flip the page back to the cover. Her finger swipes at a wet corner, which she then brings that same finger up to her mouth and licks it. All the while keeping eye contact with you. Your mouth drops wide at the sight, inciting another chuckle out of her. 
The next few moments go by in a flash as your brain tries to process what just happened. You're brought back to reality as she hands you back the book with a little card sticking out the top. 
“As much as I would love to keep playing with you, the library has pretty strict closing times, so I must ask you to leave.” 
You nod dumbly, shoving the book under your arm and stumbling your way towards the exit. She waves you off with such a pretty smile on her face. You walk outside in the crisp cold nighttime air and breathe in heavily. 
This was one hell of a night, you decided that all your brain cells were spent today so you would sleep on today’s event and think about it tomorrow. 
As you were walking back home, the little card that was in the book fell out. You bend down to grab it again and as you do, you read what’s on the card. 
“XXX-XXXX If you want to have a even better time <3 ~ Robin”
69 notes · View notes
adumbwriter · 1 day
Text
MATADOR -4-
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𝙰𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚍
𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛
𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝𝟷 | 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝟸 | 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝟹 | 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝟻
Vox roared, sweeping everything off the table, cups, and plates shattering all over the ground in pieces. “It’s been weeks! And no one has seen her?!”
His assistants flinched in the presence of the raging overlord, praying they wouldn’t be the next thing he broke.
“I’m sorry sir, we’ve tried everything, whenever we’ve managed to track her all the electronics, the cameras, they freak out! It’s like something is interfering on purpose.” 
He growled as he sat back down, hunching over the table with his claws digging into the wooden surface. He glared down at the last photo managed to be taken of you through CCTV cameras. You were crossing the street dressed up for a night out and behind you lurked a shadow with a menacing grin, making direct eye contact with the camera.
“Alastor.” 
You laughed as Alastor recounted his most recent escapades at the hotel, detailing literal loan sharks and a meeting with Lucifer himself. You always felt so enthralled in his stories. He had such a charismatic personality it was hard not to be deeply invested in anything he said. 
“But enough about me, how have you been my dear?”
“Really good actually.” You said, smiling ear to ear. Something you found came very easily in his presence. When you first came crawling to him you had been miserable for so long. But since then, you’ve felt happier than you can ever remember being.
“Oh? Pray tell what’s got you in such a good mood.” He said, leaning forward on the dining table.
“Well it’s a bit of a long story, I don’t want to bore you.”
“Nonsense! I’m all ears.”
You looked down, playing with your sleeves. “Well…I don’t remember much from my time on Earth. Anything, really. I get flashes here and there but never anything I can understand."
"How interesting. What do you remember?" He asked, his face ticking curiously, an unknown emotion swimming behind his plastered grin.
"Random things. Mostly memories with my Dad and a garden, I think it was mine." Alastor nodded, tapping his claws against the wooden table, seemingly in contemplation. “But when I went to sleep after our night together, I had a memory. A real memory. It was like I was living it again. I mean it was still blurry in some places like I can’t remember that man's name for the life of me–”
“Man?” He asked, sitting a little straighter.
“Yeah, this stranger that came up to me at my fathers funeral. We had drinks at a cafe together.”
“What can you remember about him?”
His sudden curiosity in the man from your memory raised a certain suspicion in you but you chalked it up to him simply wanting to help.
“Well he was good-looking, he had these golden eyes and soft brown hair. He said he worked with my father. And he said this thing about…” As you were about to mention the conversation surrounding the man's smile you looked up at Alastor, staring at his toothy grin. The image of the man from your memory flashed before you in Alastor’s place. A stab of pain shot through your skull again. You flinched backward, squeezing your eyes shut.
He can’t be…
“Y/n–” He placed a hand over your own and the pain increased. Your brain filled with a fog of white noise so loud that whatever he said next was completely drowned out. Shapes swam behind the backs of your eyelids, spinning until you found yourself somewhere new.
The smell of cigars filled the speakeasy and upbeat jazz and swing played from the stage. You sat at the bar reading today's newspaper. 
NEW ORLEANS RIPPER:
THREE NEW BODIES DISCOVERED
“Here you are, Cher.” A꙰l꙰a꙰s꙰t꙰o꙰r꙰ appeared, sliding you a martini. You put the paper down and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.
“Thanks, A꙰l꙰.”
He slid an arm around your waist, pulling you to his side.
“What’s this?” He asked, staring down at the paper.
“They discovered more victims of that serial killer.” You said shoving the paper towards him. “I’m worried about you, they found these people near your work.” 
“You don’t need to worry darling, I can defend myself.”
“I’m sure they thought the same, just…be safe?”
His face softened and he leaned down, pressing his lips to yours in a lingering kiss.
“I promise.”
A glimmer of mischief flashed behind his eyes and he grabbed your glass from your hands sitting it down on the bar, causing you to squint up at him. He slid his arms from your waist to your hands, pulling you towards the dancefloor. Your eyes widened in realization and you began shaking your head.
“No, no–”
“Dance with me.” He said as he pulled you onto the floor, immediately spinning you around and then pulling you back to him. You rested your hands against his chest, looking up at him with wide-eyed embarrassment. 
“A꙰l꙰, you know I can’t dance!” You laughed. He gazed at you with pure adoration as he rocked you back and forth to the music. 
“Of course, you can.” He said as he spun you again, bringing you to hook an arm around his neck before he dipped you low. “See?” He brought you back up, holding you between his arms as if you were his entire world. “Anyone can dance, you just haven’t had the right teacher.”
Your heart swelled so full of love for the man before you. So much so that you began to feel emotional. To think that a year ago you were sitting in an old cafe meeting over tea and coffee and now you wore his mother's wedding ring. He had come barreling into your life at your lowest moment and filled a hole in your soul. 
“I love you Alastor.” You whispered.
“And I love you, Cher.”
You blinked and you came back to reality, sitting in the swamp of Alastors hotel room. His hand tightened over yours as your breaths became short and panicked. Tears pricked your eyes, your heart pounding. Everything suddenly felt so overwhelming. A new fact of your life before this now loomed over you, but you couldn’t accept it. It didn’t feel real. Your world came crashing down on you. You looked at his hand that covered your own, eyeing the golden band that wrapped around his ring finger. Dreadful confirmation of the vision you had just seen. You jumped back, snatching your hand away as if he had burnt you. His face flashed with hurt as his smile strained uncomfortably. 
“Cher–” He reached out to you again and you flinched backward.
“Don’t touch me!” You cried, tears now streaming down your cheeks as you hugged yourself tight.
“I know you must be confused–”
“You knew! You knew who I was this entire time!” You hit his chest, sobs wracking your body.
“My love please–”
“No! You knew and you didn’t say anything! You left me with that fucker!” You screamed as you hit his chest over and over again. He let you release your frustration and when you were tired of your anger you sunk into heartbreak, gripping the lapels of his suit. He cautiously brought a hand up to stroke your hair as you cried into him.  
“Do you have any idea how miserable I’ve been all these years? And you never said a thing.”
“Would you have believed me?” He asked.
You fell silent.
No. You thought.
I wouldn’t have.
“You have no clue how badly I wanted to tell you. To steal you away from him and live how we used to. My beautiful girl.” A harsh sob shook you and he held you ever tighter, pressing a firm kiss to your forehead. “No death could compare to the pain of having to see you with that wretched man.”
All this time you had a husband. Someone who actually loved you. All the while you've been spending your afterlife trapped in a glorified tower, settling for a man who treated you like dirt. Every day you spent alone, every hour you tried to pretend you were happy, every minute you spent trying so hard to make a prison a home, you could have been with your true partner. And realising that now hurt. It hurt so bad your chest felt like it was caving in. How much time have you wasted in misery when you could have been in the arms of someone who truly loved you.
You sniffled and took a step back, his arms falling away. 
“I have to think.” You wiped your tears, taking a deep breath, looking anywhere but at him. “I have to be alone.”
You grabbed your coat that hung on the back of your chair and turned away, walking towards the door. 
Alastor wanted to reach out to you, to pull you back again. He wanted to talk and fix things. He had spent so many years without you, watching you be with somebody else, knowing he could only wait until you somehow remembered. And now you were finally back and you finally knew who he was again. Who you were. His darling wife, his whole existence. But he knew you needed time. No matter how much his cold dead heart ached to be in your presence, to be loved by you again. So he watched you leave and for the first time since your death, Alastor cried. 
You walked down the busy street on the way back home, heels clicking against wet pavement. You wrapped your coat tight around yourself to deflect the cold of the pouring rain and shot Blitzø a text asking when he can get back from work. He replied in barely legible spelling that he could be back in a couple hours. As you turned the corner your phone screen began to glitch.
"Stupid rain." You sighed in annoyance banging it against your palm in a futile attempt to stop it. The screen flashed with a familiar logo, and a large zap of electricity shot out, completely frying the device. You yelped, covering your face against the blinding neon light. When it dissipated you slowly lowered your arms, looking up to find someone you never wanted to face again.
"Hello dear."
72 notes · View notes
gavramous · 3 days
Text
gaz is out of commission after a rough mission. a broken arm, some bruised ribs, and a minor concussion have left him on bed rest in a hospital close to base. he gets visits daily, from his sister who happens to live nearby, and from price, ghost, and soap, keeping him up to date with the happenings at work.
the recruits are a pain in the arse, as always, soap tells him. price lets him know that there's no update on makarov at the moment, but laswell is chasing a potential lead, so fingers crossed. but ghost, after he's asked how gaz is feeling, usually just sits there, reading a book. not that gaz is complaining, because, if he asks, ghost will tell him what's happening in the story.
he apprciates it all, their comraderie, their care for him. they don't have to visit him so much, with their busy schedules, but they do, and he treasures their relationships.
it's ghosts 'turn' to sit with him for the day. they don't actually hold any sort of consistent order for when they visit him, but price said that one time, and it's stuck. ghost had walked into gaz's room with two apples and sat down on the chair to gaz's left. he immediately pulled out a mean looking knife - how he was able to get that thing through the hospital to his room, gaz has no idea - and starts slicing the first apple.
"how'r you faring then?"
"horribly, sir," gaz tells him. he's said this every day since he's been admitted. he's not really doing horribly. well, not physically, at least. sure, his ribs still ache, but he's mainly just bored out of his mind.
"mm, you don't look too good."
seems ghost is over his pessimism. "how kind you are to me."
ghost tuts, and holds out a slice of apple for him.
"what's this?"
"an apple, garrick, you're not that far gone, are you?"
"oh, full of jokes today, huh? obviously i'm asking why you're cutting me up an apple like you're my mum."
"ought not to question your mother so much, hm? just take it."
so gaz does. he's never one to turn down fresh fruit. through his chewing, gaz thanks ghost. ghost hums in acknowledgement, and there's silence as gaz eats. once he's done, ghost cuts and hands him another slice.
ghost breaks the silence after a bit. "it's weird, you know that?"
"what is?"
"your addiction to apples."
"i'm not addicted."
"no?" ghost challenges. "you eat at least one every day."
"what are you even paying that much attention for?" gaz questions.
"can learn a whole lot from observation." ghost shrugs as he hands him another slice.
"yeah? from eating habits?" gaz takes the offered slice.
"like you wouldn't believe." ghost is obviously joking. okay, maybe it's not obvious, gaz isn't soap, with his eerie ability to read ghost's jokes and moods like an open book with size 60 font, but he's getting there. and he's pretty sure ghost is joking right now. so he chuckles and says, "you're full of it."
ghost waves his knife in gaz's direction. "watch yourself, sargeant," he says, eyes crinkled slightly, pleased that gaz understood he was joking.
ghost is a little weird like that, gaz thinks. he's subtle and dry with his humour, leaving it up to others to figure out if he's serious or not, and he always seems pleased when people get he's joking. maybe it's his way of being seen. gaz is assuming now, he knows, but he's got nothing else to do, cooped up in this room. he enjoys trying to decipher the way his friends work every now and then. he feels he understands them better this way.
"why'r you fueling my addiction then?" gaz jokes back, "you obviously disapprove of my habits."
ghost doesn't answer. instead, after a minute or so, he asks, "you want another slice?"
"yes please."
he's hit with a wave of appreciation for ghost in that moment. he's found somewhat of a family in this team, and he'll value it for as long as they're able to work together.
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silenzahra · 2 days
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Chronicle of an announced concert ✨
June 8th was an important day for me. In other circumstances, I would've been in Madrid for the Book Fair with my bookish friends, but this year was different.
And I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I had been waiting for this date since December last year, when a concert of my favorite band in Sevilla, close to where I live, was announced. I immediately ran to grab my tickets, but I swear, that day, the whole of Spain was on that website and the tickets flew. I could manage to get two for the stands at least, even if this is a group that always makes me wanna dance and jump with their rhythm, but I'd seen them from the stands in the past and the people would stand up during the concert, so I was happy. I was gonna see Estopa after all.
Now, this wasn't going to be my first time seeing them live, as I've been "estopera" since I was 10 (according to my mom; I actually thought I'd been since I was 8, when their first album came out back in 1999 🤭). This, actually, was going to be my 9th time seeing Estopa live, being the first one back in 2006, when they came to my very city. I was 14 back then and I immediately became addicted to Estopa's concerts.
And finally, after long months waiting... the day came! 🤩
As I warned here, this post is mostly gonna be me fangirling over Estopa, though I'll also mention the Mario Brothers as I intend to take inspiration from my experience to write a story based on my musicians headcanons. Obviously, you're totally free to read everything or just the parts that focus on Super Mario! (or ignore this post too ofc 😂)
If you choose to read everything, make sure to grab a snack and a drink and make yourself comfortable, because this is gonna be VERY long. Here we go! 👏
The concert was held in Sevilla, so I traveled there with my mom and we spent the day together touring a bit around the city and such. At 7.30PM more or less, we headed to the place where the concert would take place, and it was funny because literally every single person on that bus was going to the exact same place 😂 After all, tickets were sold out! So you best believe, when we reached the place at last, the bus was left empty 😂
We found our places easily and were happy that we could be seated in the end, mostly for my mom. And a bit for me too... I'm not a young teen anymore 😅 Age does take its toll, and even if I LOVE jumping and dancing during a concert, I'm glad I can be seated at times and rest a bit.
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I obviously had to take some pics before the concert started, and I also went and bought some merch as a good estopera 😁 I already had a couple of these bracelets from previous concerts (the two on the bottom), and I added two more to my collection! ✨
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This is what I mean when I tell you I'm a hardcore Estopa fan 😂
If I may add, I did record some videos of the concert, but it's mostly me "singing" (I can't sing lol 😂), and since I got up and jumped and danced most of the time, the videos don't have quality whatsoever. So instead of showing them, what I'll do is share some videos I've found on the internet by some other people who were there too! Mostly this youtube channel but also this one for the last videos. Hope that's okay and that you enjoy the videos if you see them! 💖
Now, ever since the very first time I saw Estopa live, they always make us wait a little bit more past the starting time. This means it was 10.15PM when the Muñoz Brothers finally came on stage and started singing the very first song of their very first album! 🤩
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Yes, they do like big special effects, and yes, there's a Stop signal on stage, as their name is, after all "Stop" but with an E at the beginning and an A at the end 😂 It's even part of their trademark! Jump to 2.21 if you wanna se the moment they finally appear and to 2.36 for the actual beginning of the song! (and see how the people immediately start singing, you BET I was doing the exact same thing 😁).
Also, 3.49 for a silly moment of David "playing" with the Stop signal, and 4.05 to see them singing together face to face... and then do this 👇 (source)
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THE FREAKING BEGINNING OF THE FREAKING CONCERT AND THEY WERE ALREADY DOING THIS. I saw it through the big screens on the sides and I MELTED AND SCREAMED 😭😭😭 These two doing the forehead touch like Mario and Luigi, I seriously cannot get over it, and especially with those faces, the knowing look they're sharing, the LOVE. David and Jose are SO Mario and Luigi coded and I love the four of them SO MUCH 🥹🥹🥹
Besides, in that part of the song, they were literally singing "And I'm still here by your side until the wind takes me away." Isn't that fitting for them sharing this beautiful moment right afterwards??? 🥹🥹🥹 (Also, in case you're wondering... yes, that's my new lockscreen 🤭🥹)
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You know, this tour is to celebrate not only the release of their latest album, but also their 25th anniversary since they started in music. And, as David said after this and another song (they usually start with one and then link to a second before they make a short stop to say hello and breathe a bit), this concert in Sevilla happened to be the most crowded one of their entire career 🤩 The whole place was filled to the brim and they couldn't believe it! They kept on thanking everyone for coming, and David literally said while laughing: "We're gonna give a concert with all the songs that we know" 😂
They certainly gave an amazing concert! 🤩🤩🤩 They brought back many old songs they hadn't played live in a few years, as well as their greatest and best known bangers, of course, and it was truly a delight for me! 😁😁😁 As I said, I've seen them live 9 times counting this one, and I believe some of the songs they played last Saturday, I hadn't heard them live in more than a decade! So it truly was a pleasure that they decided to bring them back 😁
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This one is an example! I literally hadn't heard it live since my very first concert back in 2006, so you bet I was singing and clapping and dancing to the fullest 😁😁😁 Especially during the last instrumental part, it literally had me jumping, and I couldn't stop thinking of my dear bestie @bberetd! 💖💖💖
Oh, and that little moment of the brothers singing as if they were talking to each other (2.33)... you BET I'm grabbing that for the future story I wanna write with Mario and Luigi 🥹🥹🥹 It fits so well!
Also, in that video, you'll se that many people are wearing some bracelets we were given at the entrance. We thought at first they were broken, because they wouldn't turn on, and it turns out they were all connected and they started to light up during the sixth song they played, one of my favorites! 🤩🤩🤩
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Jump to 2.08 to see the bracelets lighting for the first time! And also to see all the people gathered there and vibing with Estopa, this is one of their best and most loved songs and everyone knows the lyrics 🤩 After all, you can see David letting us sing some lines in his stead during the entire video! 😁
Also... at the beginning of it, he was mentioning Taylor Swift 🤭 You see, this artist came to Spain and performed in Madrid on May 30th, and it was such a big event that it was even on the news! They know many people like her, and David couldn't help but mention her sometimes. In this video he was saying, "We're not as good-looking as Taylor Swift, but a little bit we are" 😂😂😂
In between songs, the brothers usually joked with each other, tell some silly stories, and sometimes they also took matters seriously. There was a point in the concert where David saw someone holding the flag of Extremadura, a region in Spain from where their parents are from and that they both hold close to their hearts. The flag happens to resemble another one, and David didn't hesitate to say: "You know, we didn't want to get into politics and shit, but I'm seeing the flag of Extremadura, which reminds me a lot of the Palestinian one, and I can't help but think of the thousands of children that are being massacred in Palestine. We know we can't really do much from here, but we'd like to show our support."
And, you know, considering Estopa is one of the biggest and most well-known groups in my country and many other Spanish-speaking places, I believe it's wonderful that David decided to say this. He knows they have a great audience, that their voices are truly heard, and he decided to do something good with it (aside from their music of course). Not many famous people dare to openly speak about such issues and I couldn't be more thankful that they did 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸
Another big moment on stage was when they brought a car on stage. Yes, a freaking car 😂 As David explained, he had heard Ricky Martin say something like "You can't bring a car on stage," and according to David's own words, he immediately turned to his brother and said, "Hold my beer, Jose." And they brought the freaking car on stage 😂😂😂 Isn't that something that our beloved Mario would do??? Being told you can't do something and then doing it??? David is SO MUCH like him OMG ❤️❤️❤️
I'm not an expert whatsoever, but apparently, this is a Seat Panda! It's a very old kind of car, I believe it's not even made anymore, but it has its history with Estopa 🤭 First of all, they used to work at a factory that made car pieces for Seat (Wrecking Crew, anyone? Only not car pieces 😂), and a specific Seat Panda is mentioned in their absolute most famous song. Literally every single Spanish person knows this song even if they can't remember who sings it, but believe me when I say it's the GREATEST banger in my country. Perhaps even you have heard it, if you happen to know someone who speaks Spanish! It's their most well-known song after all 👏👏👏
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Yes, at the beginning they are, again, joking and being silly 😂 And having a great time! I just love how they both have lots of fun in their concerts, whether they're singing or chatting between songs 🥰 Then David starts listing a few things they like referring to the typical village festivals, and please, just look at how the people immediately starts vibing as soon as David finally begins to sing!
And the chorus!!! They literally let us sing the chorus, they even stopped the music 😂 La raja de tu falda, my dear friends. THE banger. The very first song that launched them to fame back in 1999. A fucking anthem I swear. Even more famous than the Spanish actual anthem (which has no lyrics btw 😂😂😂).
Back to the car on stage, I cracked up, because Jose was inside as if he were driving, but David was pushing the car from behind 😂😂😂 And they wouldn't stop signaling at each other as if they were like "Move on a little more!" "Stop right there!" "Go on, go on!" and David even went like "Push, Jose!" They're so silly, I swear 😂😂😂 My mom and I couldn't stop laughing 😂😂😂
And then David jumped onto the car to sing the next song! Unfortunately I couldn't find any long videos for this one, but I did see a couple of Instagram stories and recorded a little bit 🤭 They both ended up on top of the car singing together like the amazing team they are, and then Jose jumped down of it and offered his hand to David to help him down. Mario and Luigi, I say 💚❤️✨
I tried to go and edit two different videos (Instagram stories, which means both of them are short). The first one doesn't have a very good quality and whoever recorded it was singing just like I was during the entire concert 😂 And the second one is also very short (again, Instagram story), but still I hope you can get to see them singing together even if for a few seconds! 💖
Also, something I'm also including in my story is a line that has become very famous in the history of Estopa 🤭 You see, in a couple of songs, right before the beats go high and hard, David sometimes says "Come on, Jose!" and he also does it during the concerts, although the audience is always faster and start saying it before David has the chance to 😂 And something that I love is that, once David finally says it while laughing and looking at his brother, then Jose goes "Come on, Andalucía!" and oh GOSH I AM including this in the future fic 😍😍😍 Mario telling Luigi "Come on, Lu!" to go on singing and playing, and then Luigi turning to the audience and screaming back "Come on, Mushroom Kingdom!" or Sarasaland or wherever they're playing 😍😍😍
Unfortunately I could only find this video from last Saturday's concert, but it's SO long and it includes a flamenco-centered part at first that I didn't want to add it here, but if you follow the link, you can go to 8.22 to hear David saying "Come on, Jose!" first and then Jose adding "Come on, Andalucía!" You'll see David laughing because all of Sevilla has already said his line before he did 😂
A few more pics that I'm definitely taking as inspiration! 😁😁😁 (source)
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I especially LOVED when David cheered us on with things like "Come on, Andalucía!" or "Keep clapping!" or even "Those horns to the sky of Sevilla!" during the entire concert, as well as turning the mic towards the audience like he's doing on the last pic! You certainly cannot be bored at a concert of these two, they won't let you take a breath for even a second 😁😂 (also, the look Jose is giving David on the second to last pic 😍😍😍)
There were a couple of funny moments where David forgot the lyrics and his brother immediately looked at him like, "That's not how it goes!" 😂 Heck, David even had to stop a song for a second and ask his brother for help, and neither of them could stop laughing 😂😂😂 You BET I'm also including something like that, I like the thought of Mario being so devoted to the music and the concert and the audience clapping and cheering that he forgets the lyrics, and he immediately runs to Luigi for help, and again, they're both cracking up 😂😂😂
Also! Jose, the main guitarist, has a few songs that he sings mostly alone with his brother backing him (they normally do it backwards: David is the lead singer and Jose plays the guitar and backs his brother). The most famous one is Ya no me acuerdo, a very beautiful ballad that everybody sings along with him, but in this case, I'd like to show you the videoclip instead of a video from the concert, as it's also gonna be a great source of inspiration. I mean, just look at it! 👇
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Right at the eighth second they do something that I included in my headcanon post! They put their index fingers on each other's brow to help concentrate right before going on stage. And, please, don't miss 1.56: David jumping right next to his brother and staring proudly and happily at him as he sings 🥹🥹🥹 Mario, Mario, MARIO doing that while Luigi sings, I'm literally SCREAMING AAAAHHHH 😭😭😭
Also. 2.46. The look David gives Jose. The pride. THE LOVE. AW I swear I have CHILLS just by rewatching this videoclip, it's been FOREVER since I last saw it and some of these parts, I had forgotten about them 🥹🥹🥹
But I hadn't forgotten about the hug at the end (3.19), and the way they sing together, and David screaming "¡Ole mi hermano!" 🥹 It could be translated as "Bravo, my brother!" or something like that, "Ole" really has no translation as it's the way we Spaniards express our support, something we say as we clap or to congratulate someone 😂 Actually, I was screaming "Ole" every single time they finished a song as I clapped 😂 I guess it could be our equivalent to "Bravo", which is why I chose that specific word to give it some sort of translation 😅
But yeah, the thing is: Mario looking at Luigi while he sings alone, joining him in some parts of the song, and then going like "Bravo!" or "That's my bro!" right before they hug. Also, the part where David is pressing his fist against Jose's arm (2.27), the line he's singing says: "They say time and oblivion are like twin brothers." SO PERFECT. They may not be specifically twins, but they've stated many times that they feel as if they were, and we all know two brothers who are actual twins, so more inspiration!!! 😁😁😁 My gosh, how I LOVE that my favorite band is inspiring me so much 🥹🥹🥹
Actually, they've inspired me a lot throughout my life! The first two novels I wrote, I owe them not only to Mario and Luigi, but also to Estopa. The first one starred two brothers who travelled in time, and the second one was inspired by this videoclip that they made as if it were the trailer for an action movie. They also played this song, btw, and it was SO GREAT to hear it live again after so many years 🥹 Yeah, these videos are old, the song Ya no me acuerdo turns 20 this year and Cuando amanece is 16. And... I am old too 😅
I would've liked to show you a video of the ending of the concert, but unfortunately, I haven't been able to find any that has enough quality so you can see them singing together and a silly dance they do right as they say goodbye. So I had to go to a different concert! This one took place in Cádiz back in 2022 and I was also among the crowd 😁 This video is from then, and this is the last song they always play, another FREAKING anthem: Como Camarón.
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Something that I LOVE and that David also did in the concert in Sevilla from two days ago is including everyone. In case you don't know, Spanish is a language that marks the gender a lot, and because of patriarchy, it tends to be very male-centric, being "todos" the word that has always been used to refer to everyone no matter their gender. Something that we've started to do recently is adding not only "todas", which is the female form, but also "todes", which refers mostly to nb people but is also a way to include everybody regardless their gender. And David said in both concerts, both when greeting and when saying goodbye, "todos, todas y todes". Inclusive brothers. I love them even more 💖💖💖
But yeah! This is their goodbye song. I LOVE IT 🤩🤩🤩 Como Camarón is one of my absolute favorites, and I LOVE listening to it live, but it always gives me a feeling of bitterness, as the fact that they're singing it means the concert is coming to an end. So you bet I always jump and scream to the top of my lungs, as I LOVE the lyrics, and I obviously did it both in the concert from 2022 and in the one from last Saturday 😁
It can't be seen very clearly, but at 3.43 they start hugging 🥹 They always hug at the end of the concerts, they also did it in Sevilla and I was melting 😭😭😭 Also, 4.28! What they do there after waving at the audience and such, that silly dance in which they grab each other's hands and make the other spin to pretend a silly dance, they also did it this past weekend! 😂 Again, I saw it through the big screens, but it's something that has been etched in my mind and, guess what... I'm also adding it to my story with Mario and Luigi 😌 After all, they're two silly goobers like Estopa, so of course they're also gonna be dancing 🤭
And referring to that concert from 2022, in my musicians post I also shared this video in which they also dance! So... more inspiration!!! 😁😁😁
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Go to 3.28 to see how David beckons his brother to come closer, as that part of this song (yet another very famous banger) always has the audience screaming ESTOPA, and immediately, they start dancing again 😂 And David even pretends to fall at 3.49 so that Jose has to grab him, I swear I can never have enough of these two sillies making these dances on stage 😂😂😂 They're but another proof that they're having the time of their lives while playing, and I obviously intend to reflect that with Mario and Luigi! 😁😁😁
So this is it! I know this post got even longer than expected, but I didn't want to leave anything out. I know seeing this through a screen is not the same as actually seeing your favorite band live, because that's certainly a feeling that can't be described with words. You have to experience it firsthand in order to fully understand what it truly means, at least that's my case with Estopa.
More than half of my life being their fan and they never, ever disappoint. I could never get tired of going to concert after concert of the Muñoz Brothers. I simply cannot put down to words what I feel when I see them there, in front of me, so close yet so far, giving it all while they throw banger after banger to your face and continue to joke between songs.
Saying that they're great, that their concerts are one of the most powerful and intense things you'll ever experience in your life, would be an understatement. Estopa is simply another level. It's not having time to breathe between songs and, even so, never wanting it to end. It's having the chance to sing along to your favorite songs with a crowd of other fans and, moreover, the artists themselves. It's not knowing what they'll come up with next, what surprises they're keeping in store with their jokes, their songs, the staging, and enjoying everything to the fullest.
For me, this concert meant nostalgia. It meant having the chance not only to see again my favorite band live, but, as I said, to enjoy some old songs that I hadn't heard live in a very long time. And the feeling of hearing them again... I swear, in most of the videos I recorded, at the beginning of the songs I'm like "OH MY FREAKING GOD THEY'RE SINGING THIS ONE!!!!!! 🤩🤩🤩"
And you know the best part? After so many years going to Estopa concerts, I've already learned to recognize what songs they're about to play just by the very first notes or something they say at the beginning 🤭 For instance, when Jose starts narrating a story in the video of Partiendo la pana I shared (the last one), I immediately know this is what's coming next. When David refers to the working-class people and says that they're dedicating their next song to them, I automatically know Pastillas de freno is coming (another freaking banger that makes me jump A LOT and that refers to their time working at the Seat factory). And when he starts saying goodbye, I'm always like, "No, please, don't start singing Como Camarón, not yet" 😂
But yeah... all good things come to an end. Luckily, I did enjoy this concert to the absolute fullest, and the best part is they're coming also very close to my city in August. So guess who's repeating the Estopa experience later this summer 😁😁😁 That one will be my 10th Estopa concert OMG... When I say I can never get enough of these two and their music I'm not exaggerating even a little bit 😂😂😂
Also! This is the merch that I bought! 🤩
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Estopía is the name of their latest album, as alluding to the word utopia. The pork on the back appeared on their second album, Destrangis, and they brought it back to commemorate their 25 years being Estopa (Extremadura, their parents' homeland, is famous for raising these porks). The other t-shirt, as you can see, actually celebrates this fact, and displays the whole list of places they're visiting or have visited during this tour. Actually the shirt I was wearing for this concert, I bought it at the Cádiz concert in 2022 and it also includes the list of that year's tour on the back, so of course I had to have the one for this year too 😁
Also, the keychain is a pick! They mostly play the Spanish guitar just with their fingers, but sometimes they use a pick, and other times they switch to an electric guitar so, again, pick! And the bracelets, I showed them at the beginning of this post, but to sum up: now I have four 😂
Gosh, thank you so much if you read it to the end 😂 I know this isn't directly related to the Super Mario franchise, but as this is also a pair of brothers, as you see, they're constantly inspiring me 😁 First the post I made back in March, and now the story that I'm planning 😁😁😁 I love love LOVE Estopa, and I love that they never stop inspiring me no matter how many years go by 💖💖💖
And I obviously LOVE seeing them live! Hope you enjoyed the songs if you gave them a listen, and I also hope you'll like the story once it's ready! (I don't know when it'll be though 😂 I have a very long list of WIPs, but we'll get there! 💪)
And before I go, if I may... This is before they made the forehead touch 👇 (source)
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And this is right after they made it 👇 (source)
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Estopa even went and made a thank you video that they posted on Instagram yesterday, they said this was the BEST concert in their entire career and their most-crowded one to date. And I honestly cannot believe that I was there with them 😭😭😭 I'm literally CRYING writing this, gosh, this band is so so SO important in my life. I owe them so much 🥹🥹🥹
Again, thank you if you read everything. I hope I could make you at least feel half the excitement and LOVE I feel for these two brothers from Barcelona. Long live Estopa 🤘🔥
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hand-picked-star · 2 days
Text
The 13th Annniversary Arshi Fiesta
Moodboard : historical AU | Chapter 02
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I am not very good at writing ffs.I even read ffs very selectively. But it was a attempt of me to participate in the 13th annniversary arshi fiesta. I might be wrong about certain aspect of that age and era, but it's a fantasy, so why not?
I don't own Arnav and khushi and the story is purely fictional and has no relation to any living or dead.Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Chapter 2
After 10 years
Arnav was threading the busy traffic of the bazar with his ambassador mark 1 to reach the st.Stephen all women college of Delhi to pick up certain someone who he hadn't talked to, for almost 2 years.Though it was the cheapest car of that generation,it was his most prized possession at that moment , brought by the profit he got from his first export shipments of the textile factory he bought 1 year ago.But his mind was on that girl who lived in his mind rent-free till that fateful day 2 years ago and hadn't left ever since. Even at that moment,he could still feel her,if he closed his eyes.
Shaking himself off to get rid of that feeling,he concentrated on the road. Arnav's focus cleared to zoom in that girl of question , no no, a young woman, in a simple white saree with blue border, a mandatory college-ware. The way she drapped the saree over her was very modest,but modesty seemed to allude Arnav today.His heart gave a thud realizing he could vividly feel how that body felt pressed to his. 'control yourself, Arnav. you've done so much damage already', Arnav chastised himself, willing his heart to a normal rhythm. Her hair was pleated into a single braid and simple black bindi in middle of her eyebrows.That was what Arnav was so scared of. Her little bindi had the power over him that the whole oxford female faternity didn't. He might have not talked to her but he saw her secretly every time he came to Dehli and watched her spread her wings like a butterfly to be the beautiful woman she end up being. Roma chachi had given her an apt name 'titliya'. All those time watching her from distance Arnav tried his best to control his heart and mind,but end up failing every single time. There was a reason why he avoided her for 2 years.
Khushi was standing on the gate of the college with her classmate, Sarita Chauhan,waiting for Akash vai to pick her up. Khushi was irritated, she insisted to take the rickshaw back home but due to the overprotective nature of bhai and Babuji, she couldn't do that. But she didn't expected to see Him that day and somehow she knew he had come to pick her up.The last two years did a kind of magic to him or was it london or the girls of london to be exact, she didn't know. The Arnav sitting in front of her in that car donning the black glasses and clad in rolled up white shirt and black suspenders was a far cry from the man she last saw.But he was still Arnav among all of these , Her Arnav. That's why it didn't susprise her when her heart went overboard 'dhak-dhak,dhak-dhak,dhak-dhak'. Her friend beside her produced a small sound of appreciation,
"oh khushi, you've never introduced me to your brothers.now I understand why." giving her a little nudge with her shoulder.
Khushi scoffed at her comment " he is not my brother. "
It's been 10 years that she lost her parents. And in middle of all of these when Mahindar chacchu became her Babuji and Manoroma chachi became Amma, she couldn't exactly pinpoint.And as a result she got two brothers who loved her fiercely as their own.Abba had arranged a home tutor for her when she was 10 yrs old,coz she couldn't bear the stress of public schooling. As soon as she started to form complete sentences her tutor advised her to write letters to her brothers, studying in darjeling. She wrote letters to Akash bhai and Aman bhai and then she wrote another letter to Arnav addressing him as 'Dear Arnav'. Her tutor chastised her for not adding a 'bhai' or a 'ji' at the end of his name.But Arnav was never her 'bhai', was he? He never felt like a 'bhai'. He was so much more.But above all he was Her 'Arnav'.Just 'Arnav.' she used to call her 'Arnav' since she was 8.Nobody corrected her till she was 16.Then she started to call him 'Arnavji'. Now she didn't know what to call him anymore.
Arnav parked the car in front of her. when she made no move to sit inside, he opened the car door from inside and addressed her -
" what are you waiting for Khushi Kumari Gupta? pandit bulake mahurat nikal na parega kya?" giving her the crooked half smile that she adored. God, she missed him so much. "Akash bhai and Aman are busy in the printing press. Cachu asked me to drop you home."
Khushi stared at him for another moment then with a huff she entered the car, which was a bad decision she understood not long after.Being in a closed space with him was a torture.Both of them stared at anything but at each other, but soon khushi couldn't resist the temptation to steal a look of him, which was a far worse decision than the previous one. Her eyes found his hands on the steering wheel,clutching it and as soon as flashback of those hands flooded her mind - those hands clutching her smaller ones when they used to take a walk, those hands closing the hook of a payal around her ankles,those hands teaching her smaller ones to hold the chalk to write on the black slate, those hands helping her to plant rose plants on the garden. Her mind shifted to her smaller hands giving prasad to his larger ones, his hands cracking open the peanut shell for her whenever they went to the mela,his hands pulling her braids.'Have those hand became larger till the last time she saw them?' Khushi mused silently. Then a switch flipped in her mind, more flashbacks, she started to feel his hands on her cheek, on her waist,on the back of her head.khushi closed her eyes tightly and clutched the books on her hands and to drive away those vision from her mind, blurted out what came to her mind at that moment " Anjali di said, you could not come to Delhi for another 3 months"
Arnav, looking at khushi from the corner of his eyes, said "I didn't plan to. But My best friend is marrying my little sister.I wouldn't miss that wedding for the world and Roma chachi said no more auspicious 'mohurat' after this month untill the end of this year.And it's not like I have not been traveling to and fro between Delhi and London in last couple of years."
Khushi nodding and trying to shallow down the hurt, said solemnly "I know."
Arnav was studying law in Oxford University for last couple of years. He had passed his bar exam and was doing apprenticeship under a Barrister in london for last one year.She knew all of this from Aman bhai.On the other hand, Arnav sold the land that his grandfather gave him and bought a run-down textile factory in old Delhi.She knew he had been very busy and she also knew he had been to Dehli multiple time in last 2 years. He didn't stay in Rajput haveli now-a-days when he came to Delhi.He had rented a two-storied bungalow in the outskirts of the town. But what hurt her more was he went to rajput haveli to meet Amma and babuji every time he came to Delhi , only when she was in school. So, it was not so difficult to figure out, who he was avoiding. Why, why she had to ruin the most important friendship she had in her life??? If only she wouldn't have done what she did 2 years ago.
It didn't escape Arnav's eyes the pain that flashes through her face.He still could read her like a open book,could decode the emotions that transpired through her pretty eyes.He regretted hurting her so much,but it was for greater good.Sometimes he thought he preferred to remember her as still eight years old because she'd adored him then. She would gladly follow him anywhere. In fact, whenever she saw him leave, heading toward the garden where he liked to walk and think, she would come running after him. Even though she frequently fell, her little legs no match for his long, strong ones she never cried and never complained.She was strong even back then.
Little khushi used to fill their conversation with a million inquisitive questions though, looking at him with trusting big eyes.Her questions made him laugh and stumbled over answers.
When she was eight , he was her Hero.
As soon as the car reached Rajput haveli, she all but sprinted away from him.Arnav sighed grabbing the package from the backseat he also entered the house. As soon as he reached the living room, he was met with Madhumati ji scolding khushi for running around carelessly, even in the age of eighteen and her praying to God to give her 'sanka devi' same 'satbuddhi'. Then there was Roma chachi, she came rushing towards him to give a hug. Roma chachi never failed to make him feel loved.Arnav admired this woman for her enormous capacity to love those who weren't hers.
"london suits you, Arnav bitwa, look at you, how handsome you've turned out to be!!!! "
Arnav returning her hug, teased her "And you didn't change at all Roma chachi. Still as gorgeous as ever. I missed you so much."
Manoroma smilled at him fondly. A child she once wished was hers so that she could have protected him from the heartbreak he endured at such a tender age " I missed you too, bitwa.don't be a stranger now like you have been for past years, ab toh hum ristedaar bhi banne wale hain."
Arnav smilled at her " I'll try."
Manoroma continued,"I hope you are staying with us this time, aren't you?" seeing Arnav nod his head,she continued' " good, now i am going to the temple , we'll talk after I come back. chaliye, madhumati ji."
Arnav watched them leave and then silently proceed toward the first floor crossing the stairs.At the very least, he could try to save whatever left of the friendship he once shared with khushi.
khushi sat cross-legged on her bed, looking at the payal that broke as soon as she entered her room hurriedly few minutes ago. It had been her room since her parents had died.It had seen so many of her tears and hold so many of her secrets.Bua ji now-a-days, began to get on her nerves, reminding everyone of her spinster status,but khushi was adamant not to get married before she enrolled for college, now that she finally did it, she didn't have any excuses left.
Looking at the payal, khushi thought of how it's been almost 10 years that she is wearing that particular payal.In one morning 10 years ago, in the garden, looking at her rag doll, she confessed to Arnav that she used to have a similar payal like her doll once,that the bad guys had stolen from her too. And she missed wearing the payals.It was one of the first things she had admitted to Arnav during their long walks.
He'd asked her why she didn't just ask Mahindar chachu and chachi for payals and khushi had tearfully confessed her fear that if she wanted too much, her new guardians would give her away. And the sound of payals must disturbed them as well.
That very weekend, he'd bought her this payal and it's pair. She'd loved it. It was the first time since her parents died that she'd bounced in places with joy like she was really eight and not eighty.She giggled with her delighted little-girl pleasure.
Khushi stared at the payal with a sad smile on her face.The clasp had gave away.Just like their relationship now.She still remembered how the payals were too big for her small ankles, he had to make a loop at the end to adjust them to her size.
Arnav had adored her once.
But she'd messed that up good and proper a long time ago.But did she really messed it up beyond repair?
A knock on the door drew her thoughts out of the past. To her surprise, it was Arnav standing in the doorway, his expression as passive as ever. "Can I come in?"
She nodded, automatically scooting backward to lean back against her headboard. He came to sit in front of her, and Khushi smirked, remembering playing Ludo with him at that same position, at that same spot when she was 10, 11, 12.
"What are you laughing at?" he asked, curious. A smile played at his lips that made her heart feel like a thunder about to strike.
"I was just remembering beating you in ludo," she said quietly. In her room, it was harder to be aloof as she tried to be with him. How long had she been trying to show him she was grown up, grown past the foolish girl she'd been when they...
His smile broadened but only slightly. Still it was enough to make her blood feel warmer. "So you found a game you can actually beat me at, Phati sari. Don't get arrogant." He pointed a finger in her face.
Laughing lightly, she remembered the origin of her nickname at the kanya puja day, when she was 10, Amma had made her wear a red saree made for little girls. it was so beautiful. She ran to the garden to show it to Arnav where he was helping Babuji to sow the vegetable seeds and end up tearing the pretty saree in that process. She cried the whole day so much that babuji ended up buying two more similar saree just like that.but she couldn't get away from the torment of Arnav's teasing.She gained that nickname a day after. she stared down at her lap, tracing the broken payal with the pad of her finger. He sounded like his old self just then addressing her with the name he gave her, the one who wasn't so uncomfortable and cold around her. 'O Devi maiya, what do she need to sacrifice to have that again.' she sighed and asked "So what did you want to talk about?"
"This is awkward," he said after a moment of silence. "It seems almost pompous for me to say I'm proud of you."
"Why do you think it's pompous?" she asked, curiously. "I mean, everyone else has said it... unless you don't mean it."
"Of course I mean it," he said, his tone sincere. "A graduate degree in English literature" He looked down, then back at her again"You always wanted to be a writer.I am sorry I wasn't there when you enrolled to college, I should have been there." he said with a decisive, displeased tone. "I know I haven't been as supportive as I could have been these last few years."
Khushi shook her head. Arnav had always been something of an enigma to her. Well, not always. There was a time when their relationship had been simple. At some point, something had changed. What that was, Khushi was still at a loss as to explain.She knew when the switchover had happened, though.
"Arnav," she said with a sigh. "If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have even tried to get into a college. You have always encouraged me to write and kept me interested with the world of literature with the books you used to send me."He even sent her books when he was avoiding her those last few years.
Looking up at him, she smiled. "you were the only one that never doubted my capabilities. You just seemed so certain I could do it - even if it would be hard."
"Most things worth doing are difficult," he said quietly. "It never occurred to me to doubt you. If that was what you wanted, I knew you were capable."
And because he knew, she believed, she thought but didn't say. "It was difficult. Still, I did it, and I think I made the right choice. You had everything to do with that."
Their silence then was not so awkward, but more comfortable. Then Arnav reminded the package on his hand and extend it to her.As soon as she saw the package, her face brighten with a brilliant smile and she all but tore the packaging of the book. 'A tale of two cities by Charles Dickens ' It's her favourite book, but it was special.
"you brought me the first edition" she looked in awe both at the book and at the man.When the awe subsided awakardness seeped in. Arnav was about to leave.
"Arnav," she began hurriedly, blowing out a breath in a huff, she was ready to right wrongs in her life, start fresh. "I know you've been... wary about seeing me since... since then. And I don't blame you. I know things have been strange for a long time. But I was a stupid girl then. A lot has changed - I've changed. I'm not going to... do that again. So if that's what you're worried about-"
"khushi" he said quickly, reaching across the space that separated them, putting his index finger over her lips.
For the space of a few breaths, khushi's heartbeat began to stutter. Time stand still, their breaths catched.She didn't know how long it had been since she was watching his hooded eyes,looking at his dilated pupil.
And then a moment later, a curtain seemed to fall over his expressive eyes,hiding all the secrets she so despately wanted to reveal, his eyes holding hers. He let his hand drop slowly before he broke eye contact, staring out the window. For long moments, he was silent. "It's not you. It's never been you."
She waited, but he didn't seem inclined to explain further. "Is it so unthinkable ?" she asked finally. She cringed because she'd feared the answer to this question for years. He was her best friend, her confidant - the most important person in her life since almost before she could remember. That had never changed.And she didn't wanted to lose him. she would take him in whatever capabilities he would like to share with her.
"Is what so unthinkable?" he asked, dreading the answer himself.
"Can't we try to be friends again?" Her voice was quiet, and she struggled to make it not waiver. It felt strangely like her world would crumble if he put the final nail in the coffin of their relationship, as melodramatic as that sounded.
To her surprise, his eyes were wide, almost horrified. "Oh, Khushi ." He shook his head, chuckling nervously. He thought she would ask about something else. "I never imagined you would interpret my attitude that way." He rubbed a hand over his chin, tracing the line of stubble - it had been some days since he'd shaved. She'd noticed that almost instantly when he walked in the door.She still remembered the way that little bit of stubble felt, brushing against her cheek.
"To answer your question, of course we can be friends. I've never not been your friend," he said finally.
This cheered her considerably, and Khushi sat up straight, smiling. "Good."
@arshifiesta @featheredclover @phuljari @msbhagirathi
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the-music-maniac · 2 days
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Why will I not finish watching Naruto not that anyone asked but I wanna ramble? Because since Sasuke and Naruto ended up in marriages to different people (and from what little I've seen, are pretty horrid fathers and also not very good husbands for that matter), I literally Do Not think Naruto Shippuden has a happy ending. Naruto spent the entire anime chasing after Sasuke desperately. He was willing to give up his dream and die by Sasuke's side. Sasuke has never exhibited a single shred of interest in women. And Naruto is one of the few people that has ever kept his interest. They're arguably the most narratively significant to each other, and before Shippuden the show kept saying over and over they might've been good friends if only if only etc. paralleling the two against each other. I GET that they wanted to make Boruto, but literally it would've made more sense to me for Sasuke to have paid someone to carry his bloodline over believing that fruit basket actually fell for someone other than Naruto. And him marrying Sakura specifically was weird to me because I fully believe she deserves better. Not in an "I hate Sasuke he doesn't deserve her" kind of way but because I like them both and I think they're ill matched. Sakura got character development and I feel like making her get together with a childhood crush that never gave her the time of day before isn't progress, it's a setback.
This story ending doesn't read to me as "I got my best friend back and ended up fulfilling my dream and settling down and getting married with the love of my life". It reads to me as, "I'm in love with my best friend and I got him back, but not in the way I wanted. I settled and married because it was expected of me and sure I love her but it's still not the same." And on Sasuke's end, it reads to me as "I've hurt this person too much to warrant staying in his life for too long, he has given up too much for me already. I settled and married because I need to pass on my bloodline gifts but I don't truly love her". There is nothing worse in my books than missed opportunities, ESPECIALLY not for two people who I believe would have a love story FOR THE AGES. You can say Naruto loves Hinata but I think it pales in comparison to what he feels for Sasuke. And I don't wanna hear any fucking complaints about "wahhh they're not gay" - I don't give a shit about sexuality, this is about how narratively, a love story between these two would be so much more interesting than any of the canon couples. If they were a man and woman they WOULD have been canon. Their love would've been something people write epics about and it DIDN'T. WORK. OUT.
They should've ended up together. Naruto Shippuden doesn't have a happy ending. I'm never going to finish watching it.
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martiandmichelle · 2 days
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OK, it's time to tell the story all my friends are on me to tell. . .
I'll start by explaining this blurry photo (as taken by my associate Kaatje). The morning the Southeast exhibition of my Agency opened (at 9:00 am) those of us who had a display booth were asked to be ready for an inspection by the staff beginning at 7:30. The convention center was nice enough to open for us at 5:30. The previous night I had gotten a call from one of the organizers asking if I could be ready by 7:00 and I'm like "Sure!" since I'm a morning person anyway. I arrived at 6:00 dressed as in the photo (it was unusually cold outside for early Spring). As many of you know who have attended these kind of things, the flow when you walk into the arena is usually you go right and the last booth you see are the ones of the far left. Well, I was the far left booth - though it was an unusually large booth. So I should be the last one anybody visits, right? Well, read on.
The lady pictured whose booth was next to mine was an absolute riot - friendly and funny. She's a 6'4" trans lady named Melodee. She and I hit it off immediately: short me with the monster boobs and tall Melodee with the long legs and schlong. We had chatted for maybe 10 minutes when I grabbed my bag to go change (after agreeing to go with her and her trans friends to a bar that night - "they're going to LOVE you!" she said) when suddenly her smile change to a gasp with an OMG look on her face. "What?" I asked.
"It's him, it's Mr. G------! The global CEO!" She acted like she was putting something on a table in her booth when there was actually nothing in her hand. "Be careful," she said quietly. "He's an absolute bastard." Then she exclaimed "And, oh fuck, he's coming this way!"
Melodee was suddenly a nervous wreck. I wasn't sure what to do; I mean, I've fucked my share of wealthy, powerful men and stared down plenty of assholes in the past so I just held on to my bag and smiled as he approached.
As he approached a big smile lit his face. "Good morning, ladies," he said as he got close. "You're Melodee, right?" he said shaking her hand. "What's wrong?" he then asked her shocked face.
"Nothing, sir. I mean I'm just surprised you remember my name," she answered.
"Not at all," he said. "It's important to remember someone's name, and, besides, I hear good things about you. Congratulations!" She blushed and nodded a thank you. He turned to me. "And you must be Miss Marti. I've been dying to meet you!" He reached out his hand and I took it. "Very anxious to meet you indeed," he repeated then bent and kissed my hand. I could see Melodee behind him mouth a long "Wooooow!" in my direction. He turned to Melodee and asked "May I borrow your neighbor for a few minutes?" She nodded and he directed me to the back of my booth.
"But you are at a disadvantage," he said when we turned to face each other. "Here, my name is Bas. Well, Bas G-------. But I won't you to call me Bas," he seemed more nervous than I felt. "It is only fair for me to say that I am the Global CEO of -------------- (my Agency) but I want you to forget that. I am here this morning because I wanted to tell you without others around that I am a huge fan of yours." His eyes roved to my chest, stayed for a few seconds then came back to my face. "Yes, a VERY BIG fan. And I wanted to thank you for all you do for the Agency's business and for my eyes - and, well, other parts, too!"
Where was this asshole Melodee warned me about? He was being very nice and charming. Bas was tall, the same height as Melodee, gray haired, nice looking, and fit, especially for a man in his late 60's. But I was most impressed by how this very wealthy and, in this circle at least, very powerful man only wanted to talk about me. So we had a very pleasant 15 minute talk, we laughed some, he spent a lot of time staring at my breasts - which I enjoyed - and then he had me autograph one of my photos for him.
When he took my hand to say goodbye, he had one last thing to add. "I am, unfortunately, very busy with business this weekend during the show, but I have cleared my lunch time today. Would you join me?" I said "yes" and he beamed, made our lunch plans, then left to spend a bit of time with the other girls and guys who were showing.
When he was away from Melodee and I she grabbed my arm as I left to go change. "Girl," she said. "That man adores you!" I waved her off and went to change.
I'll stop there. More to come!
Marti
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kenzirr · 7 hours
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The bar buzzed with life, its energy palpable as patrons mingled, danced, and enjoyed their drinks. Amid the vibrant atmosphere, Spencer Reid found himself unable to take his eyes off of you. There was something about your presence that captivated him entirely. Your confidence and grace stood out, and he couldn’t help but be drawn to you.
As the night wore on, Derek Morgan noticed Spencer's fixed gaze. He leaned in with a teasing grin. "Come on, pretty boy. You've been staring at her all night. Go talk to her."
Spencer hesitated, clearly nervous. "I don't know, Derek. What if she doesn't want to talk to me?"
Derek laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. "You'll never know unless you try. Besides, you’ve got more charm than you realize."
Spencer took a deep breath, mustering his courage. He made his way through the crowd, his heart pounding with each step. As he approached you, the words he'd rehearsed in his head seemed to scatter. "H-hi," he stammered, his voice barely audible above the music. "I'm Spencer. I, um, couldn't help but notice you from across the bar."
You turned to him, a warm smile spreading across your face. "Hi, Spencer. I'm Y/N. It's nice to meet you."
Relief washed over him at your friendly response. "It's nice to meet you too," he said, his confidence bolstered slightly. "I don't usually do this, approach people, I mean. But there’s just something about you that made me want to take a chance."
Your eyes sparkled with amusement. "Well, I'm glad you did. It's not every day someone like you comes up to me."
Spencer's cheeks turned a faint shade of red, but he pressed on. "So, um, what brings you here tonight?"
"I’m out with friends," you said, glancing towards a group that was deep in conversation and laughter. "We needed a night out to unwind. What about you?"
"Same here," Spencer replied, feeling a bit more at ease. "We just wrapped up a tough case, and this seemed like a good way to relax."
You nodded, interested. "A tough case? What do you do?"
Spencer's eyes lit up, his passion for his work shining through despite his nerves. "I'm with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit. We profile and catch serial offenders. It’s challenging but rewarding."
"Wow, that sounds intense," you said, genuinely impressed. "And here I thought my job was stressful. You must have some fascinating stories."
Spencer chuckled softly. "It has its moments. But enough about work. What do you do?"
"I work in psychology," you replied. "It's a different kind of challenge, but I enjoy it. It’s creative and always changing."
"That sounds interesting," Spencer said, his curiosity piqued. "I’ve read a bit about psychology strategies. It’s impressive how you can understand and influence people's behavior."
You smiled, appreciating his genuine interest. "It’s definitely an art. So, do you come to places like this often?"
Spencer shook his head, laughing lightly. "Not really. I'm more of a homebody. I like researching a lot. What about you?"
"Same here, actually," you admitted. "But it's fun to go out every once in a while and let loose."
The conversation flowed easily between you two, and you found yourself genuinely enjoying his company. As the night progressed, you realized you wanted to see him again.
"Spencer, I’d really like to continue this conversation another time," you said, pulling out your phone. "Can I have your number?"
Spencer's face lit up with a mix of surprise and happiness. "Of course," he said, handing you his phone. You quickly entered your number and gave it back.
"I’ll be looking forward to your call," you said with a smile.
"I will definitely call," Spencer replied, his smile widening.
As he returned to his friends, Derek shot him a thumbs-up, clearly pleased. Spencer couldn’t suppress his grin for the rest of the night.
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volturiprincess · 13 hours
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I Will Always be Able to Find You
Demetri x Fem reader
Warnings: Mentions of death, angst, friends to lovers, fluff A/N: This takes place before Demetri was turned but it takes place in the 15th century (I know thats not when he was turned). I made reader from a Latin heritage, its not exactly specified but the word tito and tita are mention (Its a nickname for grandpa and grandma in Spanish). Also the instrument that Demetri plays is called a Vihuela, it is said it was mostly used in Spain and Italy and develop mid 15th century but in this case it somehow got to Greece 🤷‍♀️. Also the song I used in this is called "I love you too much" from Book of Life. Here are the links if you want to hear it English or Spanish. Enjoy💙
Word Count: 2k+
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(These are just some reference pictures on what i was picturing during some scenes)
Flashback
Age 5
“You can't catch me metri!”
He is almost as fast as my brother Orion but I believe Orion is fast because he has long legs and is rather tall. Maybe if I were taller I could run fast. I kept running as fast as my little legs could carry but I felt a touch on my back. I stop running and see a blur of blonde hair run off into the distance. 
“Not fair your taller than me”
He’s only a head taller than me but he is the fastest boy in town. I chased after him as our laughter fills the atmosphere of my tita’s backyard. I love my tita’s house, there is so much space to run around, enough room to play with my best friend Demetri. He happened to be my neighbor. One day when I was sitting in the doorsteps of my house I saw another child sitting on his doorsteps like me. He looked at me and gave me a silly look, it made me giggle. I in return did a silly face and from that our friendship blossomed. We would play for hours, from fighting with sticks we found on our walk to my tita’s house, to him being a type of monster chasing after me. 
We would stay at my tita’s house while she made us her famous “chocolate caliente”, it was always freshly made. Just the scent would send me and Metri running to her little kitchen.
Age 10
Holding my breath is harder than it should be. I ran a good distance from my tita’s house to get a good hiding spot. Metri was always a good seeker, but he is also a really good hider, it would take me a while to find him. It was not until I was in tears and begging Demitri to come out of his hiding spot that I was able to find him, he would tease me saying what a baby I am. 
“How do you even find me, I thought for sure I had you”
With his sweet smile he would reply “I will always be able to find you”
He would go hunting with his dad and my older brother sometimes throughout the year, they would be gone for as long as 2 weeks. In that time I would miss him, I had no one to play with but my tita would distract me with stories and we would carve animal figures out of wood. My tito and I would do that along with Metri until he passed away. I never knew how he passed away, even as I got older my brother never told me and tita didn't tell me either. I just remember having to wear a black rebozo my brother got me from one of his trips to the other lands. Demetri was with me the whole time, he even pulled me away and we went to go play in the nearby woods.
Age 15
As me and Demitri got older we started to have more interest in other stuff. We stopped playing hide and seek but instead we would read books. My brother got us a book on constellations, he always brought us a different book each time he returned from his trips. My favorite being about flowers, actually when I got that book Demetri started calling me tulip. I ask him why once 
“Because your one in a million”
I thought he was being romantic but he said he only views me as his best friend. Since we got that book on constellations me and him would spend hours at night outside my tita’s house. My mission is to locate the Lupus constellation while Demetri wants to locate the Draco constellation. We have been searching each night for the past months, it's a bit difficult because we have no idea how to do this and we are not exactly experts. Demetri has managed to locate other constellations which I envy a bit but I can see in his eyes that he is passionate about the stars. 
The particular night of my brothers funeral, me and Demetri were as always laying in the grass but I wasn't really paying attention to the sky until Demetri exclaimed with excitement 
“Tulip look, I found the Lupus constellation, and look it's even near the Orion constellation”
I saw where he was pointing and small tears started to fall, he’s right, near the Orion constellation. It's like If my brother wanted me to find it. 
I think I might be falling for my best friend...
Age 18
Since that night I started to develop small feelings for him, feelings of wanting to be more than best friends with him. He knows me better than anyone, and with that sweet smile of his he makes me feel warm inside. But the way his voice sounds makes me want to create a bubble so only I can hear it. It's husky but sweet at the same time but what if he only sees me as a friend and just a friend? When we would go to town to buy some items for my tita I would see how the other girls our age look at him, of course he’s gorgeous, Apollo himself should envy him.
I have heard those said girls say that he is the reincarnation of the Greek god Apollo himself. I of course cannot disagree. He really is a handsome man, he is like sunshine in human form, his eyes when the sun hits them would sparkle an olive green. 
The way the ocean needs the moon, Demetri needs the sun, that's when he truly shines. His pearly white teeth are as white as the seashells we would pick at the beach. His hair almost looks made of gold, and his physique has been built nicely recently for the months of working with his dad either by the dock or how he would carry the latest kill from his hunting trip on his well built shoulders. A truly beautiful man, handcrafted by the gods indeed.
As I was getting ready for bed I heard a soft strum of a Vihuela. Music has always been a part of my life thanks to my tita, but who is playing it at such an hour? As if on cue I heard the sweet voice of my childhood best friend singing from the heart.
“I love you too much To live without you loving me back I love you too much Heaven's my witness and this is a fact”
I walk to my opened window to see him there strumming the Vihuela expertly, he looks perfect with the moonlight shining on him. I didn't even know he knew how to play it.
“I know I belong
When I sing this song
There's love above love and it's ours
'Cause I love you too much”
“I live for your touch
I whisper your name night after night
I love you too much
There's only one feeling and I know is right”
“I know I belong
When I sing this song
There's love above love and it's ours
'Cause I love you too much”
As he finished his song I wiped some small tears I didn't even realize were released, he smiled lovenly at me. I ran out of my room to where he stood and he pulled me into a soft tender kiss. His arms that were wrapped around me felt like they were meant to be there, they snapped into place like two puzzle pieces. His lips even fit perfectly against mine. When we pulled away I said to him in a soft voice
“I love you too much Demetri”
But like any fairy tale, they must end. We only got to spend one night together as one united soul because the next day he was off with his father on a grand voyage to some far out land. He tried to convince me to go with him but I said I had to watch over my tita who is already old and not in a state to be left alone. If only I went with him…
Present
Age 20
It’s been two years since I last saw Demetri, my heart has not stopped calling out to him. I catch myself humming an all too familiar tune from that night. But the words have been slowly slipping, the only phrase I can remember the rhythm to is “I love you too much”. The tears that have escaped me would be enough to create a water canal that can save the drying garden of my tita. The two of us have even moved to another town, thinking that would help me get out of this heavy cloud of sorrow but how can one forget their true love? How can someone move on when their heart calls to one person and only them?
I even have had suitors sent my way but none of them can even compare to him. He was in my life for 13 years, if only I had confessed sooner about my love for him. Maybe he would have not taken that trip and he would have stayed with me. We could have gotten married, had children, grown old, seen our children have children and then one day be buried side by side along with our other loved ones. But no, life took away the only person I truly loved, life first took my parents, then my tito, then my brother and now Demetri.
Oh Demetri…It hurts to say his name sometimes. Everywhere I go, I'm reminded of the man who has my heart. Nobody knew what happened, there were speculations that maybe everyone on that ship was killed at sea. But can someone explain to me, what do I take for the sorrow? My body walks alone, my soul went with him the minute he left but it's not his fault why I feel like this, I just never got used to the feeling of being separated from him. 
I would sit at my balcony every night hoping for some miracle that he would be there on the pavement smiling up at me like that night. At night is when that song plays in my head the most, how his voice felt like a spell. Sometimes I think that he never existed, that he was a figment of my imagination. I like to believe I'm still dreaming and when I wake up he will be there with the sun hitting him, making his irises basically glow a lighter shade of olive green. But that only hurts more when I wake up and I'm faced with the hard reality. 
Even if he somehow came back, how will he find me? I moved to another town, it took about three days to get here. I missed my old town, the memories I have built there with Demetri is everything I have of him. As of now I am getting ready for bed in slow manner, it's not my favorite part of the day because that is when I am truly alone with my own thoughts and feelings. And once again I am humming to the line of our song. I try to remember the rest to it when suddenly I hear once again the voice of an angel with the Vihuela accompanying said voice
“I know I belong When I sing this song There's love above love and it's ours 'Cause I love you too much”
Can it be? Do my ears deceive me? I run to my balcony but don't see him yet until I hear our song change chorus a bit.
“Heaven knows your name, I've been praying To have you come here by my side Without you, a part of me is missing Just to make you my own, I will fight”
My eyes widen at the sight of him, dressed in foreign robes with the moonlight hitting him perfectly as always. My true love is there singing once again.
“I know I belong When I sing this song There's love above love and it's ours 'Cause I love you too much”
He walks up my little steps to my balcony as he’s still singing, up close I can see the face I've been dreaming of for the past two years. His eyes still sparkle but wait they aren't that olive green I love so much, no they're red instead. 
“I love you too much I love you too much Heaven's my witness and this is a fact You live in my soul Your heart is my goal There's love above love and it's mine 'cause I love you There's love above love and it's yours 'cause I love you There's love above love and it's ours if you love me As much”
As he finished the song he was already in front of me with his sweet smile he would give me since we were children. He wiped away my tears and he pulled me into an all too familiar kiss, full of love and tenderness. But it's slightly different. His lips are cold this time, nevertheless his lips feel like home, I know I belong to him.
We pull away, instead of asking where he was or what happened to him I ask 
“How did you find me?”
“I will always be able to find you my love”
Just with that we are now able to spend forever as it was always meant to be. 
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A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, this one is hands down my favorite one, the song I used is so sweet, well I think the Spanish version is better in my opinion.
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I think people think I’m joking but unless we get some sort of indication from bts that the fuckery of last season is fixed early on, i am completely serious about the fact that i will only be reading episode recaps and live blogs when season 8 comes out bc i cannot keep putting myself through the mental gymnastics that season 7 did just to get nothing of substance out of it… like until we get some sort of something good that actually progresses the story in a way that doesn’t jump the shark or retcon entire previous arcs i will be sitting back and ignoring it because I’m not about to waste my time if it’s gonna be a rehash of season 7 in terms of disproportionately mistreating poc characters over others while also sweeping former plotlines under the rug and/or rehashing story arcs that have already been used/completed just for cheap drama. Tim is better than this, these writers are better than this, but I’m not gonna sit by and watch just out of fandom obligation as they continue to fuck shit up when i’ve spent the past 7 years watching this show. it’s not worth my time and stress at that point.
which makes me so sad bc i love this show and what it used to be, but i’m getting sick of the way things have continued to go downhill since KR took over, and it is especially disappointing that Tim Minear is responsible for such a messy season when i was so prepared for him to actually bring back the show we all knew and loved, and instead we got something that ranks alongside 5/6 for me which is so upsetting.
(sorry i don’t mean to come off as super complain-y and pessimistic lately, and i promise im gonna start posting more positive stuff again but i just can’t have a repeat of what last season was for me mentally lmao)
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kinghomebody · 2 days
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The new Dragon Age game trailer looks beautiful. I cried and cheered so hard my heart started to ache. I waited 10 years for this and as there is a Maker above I am so happy that this wonderful series is continuing! Thank You Bioware!
A lot of things stood out to me.
"It's not looking good old friend" Yes, our story teller is getting old, grey hairs and all since apparently this game takes place 10 years after the events of Trespasser. They have been foreshadowing Varric's death and literally if he dies I will truly be upset. I may have not been a HUGE fan of Varric but I have a lot of respect for him as a character. A tier.
Scout Harding and I are going to make A LOT of babies HAHAHA! She looks so damn good!
The art style of the trailer looks pretty good, I think Inquisition's trailer did a bit better but ultimately it was fun to watch. I want to play Taash and fight dragon's with this new character!
Also, as I do read the books in 9:42 Dragon
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and then I saw this adorable little creature.
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WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THE GREY WARDENS AND BECAUSE OF THIS LITTLE GUY RIGHT HERE!!!! I FLIPPED MY SHIT!!!!! YES!!!! FUCKING YES!!!!! I AM EXCITED!!!!!!
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Apparently the protagonist's name is "Rook" which is a name that I personally see appear in many RPG titles since I play Dragon's Dogma.. also, when the beta leaks came out I remember it being a thing so I shouldn't be surprised. As a black man I have to say DAMN! He look's really really good, amazing features like myself lol! Looks like I won't have to try so hard to create myself in this game haha! Can't wait for the gameplay footage to drop!
6.11.24
So I just finished watching the gameplay footage and I do like what I see. For me after playing Hogwarts Legacy and seeing all the footage from Dragon Age The Veilgaurd the only thing running through my mind is that I graduated Hogwarts and now I work for the Ministry of Magic in the Tevinter Imperium.
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The combat reminds me of God of War and Dragon's Dogma with the option to pause the game and make tactical commands which is nice. I also like the idea of a origin story and factions. The only game that I played with factions was GreedFall and it was fun working around different people and their missions.
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You know, I got to go with the Grey Wardens right?
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BIANCA FUCKING DIES! BRO LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN? when I saw this my heart stopped immediately. Varric really … it was like when he said "please" to Solas he literally was thinking about not just him but Anders and Justice.. Think about how Anders use to be and what he did to the chantry at Kirkwall.. It's crazy.
Something that stuck out to me in the new trailer is two of the Evanuris woke up and Solas knows how much trouble he is in! His face speaks volumes and the camera hovering over him indicates their power to me. It's like he's crying.. so much for your plans my guy!
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Also, Solas's eyes going from brown to purple must be the over use of his dreadwolf powers. I think it looks pretty cool.
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We, the protagonist, fuck everything up for Solas, again but on purpose this time. I love it.
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And wolf statues..awesome!! Super special spell that Sola’s been weaving for 10 years was thwarted by a log! Looney Tunes Shit. LMFAO!!!
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Perfect shot. Reminiscent of the Inquisitor.
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7 Large Elven Statue, 7 Blights. I mean come on now.. we SEE THE CONNECT!!!
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Welcome Home s/i!!Summer Patches,who is a cat puppet!He's meant to look Frankenstein-y,with his patches being a visual metaphor for diy because he's pastel punk since i am and so he's constantly going against the rules and feels like an outsider at Home but everyone likes him a lot like he does them and it's a simple matter of autistic miscommunication!Their job is the seamstress of the gang that helps them fix their clothes and makes them outfits too and he's an extremely upbeat and chaotic person who always tries to be kind and see the best in everything and everyone but also has a huge snark to him and zero manners tbh.To clear up any confusion on his identity,he is half white afrolatina-coded(his ponytail is sisterlocks)and transmasc genderfluid and bigender!His voice is also scratchy in a black woman way if that makes sense
I'm predictable so Summer and Wally are eachother's love interest's and their ship name is Springtime Lovin'-Their backstory is a wip since WH itself is and i don't wanna end up completely bogus but the dynamic is Wally was attracted to Summer after getting to know him and how much he stood out from everyone else making him appealing to him because of his ego but it took Summer a while to start liking him back due to only seeing him as a weird ass friend turned best friend until the point in the timeline where we actually get to Home just as Summer's feelings finally come.Julie is tied with Wally as his best friend and was actually the first ever friend he made and they're basically like sisters(including their own version of those 'Friends by Chance,Sisters by Choice' bracelets)and Summer,Barnaby and Eddie are the 'well-intention but stupid,ill-intentioned but nice about it and just wants a fucking break' trio trope,he's a platonic Sally fanboy and the bane of Frank's existense(affectionate)and is close to Poppy and Howdy because their personalities are complimentary!!
His origin is a dark one.Won't come to light just yet but the light flickers on and off for him in the actual story,both in the sense of we get his past in bits and pieces and that his experiences once the plot sets in are a literal hell LOL.Summer Patches is by me but the art is by @jellyfilledeyes,my little brother who got me into Welcome Home!!Thanks for reading and i'm always looking for more WH moots♡
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resurrectionist3 · 2 days
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June 6th, 1755 - Happy Birthday Nathan Hale!!!
We are gonna pretend like this isn’t several days late.
And this post is about to be super long…
Disclaimer: for the entirety of the post, I’m recalling information that was told to me by the tour guide from the Nathan Hale Homestead. If anything I wrote here is incorrect or not complete information, feel free to KINDLY correct me in a comment or repost, I would appreciate that☺️
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Back in May (05/18/24), I visited the Nathan Hale Homestead in Coventry, Connecticut with my sister!!
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I always drive by it when I go home from school and I finally got to visit for a tour! They also have a farmers market on grounds in the summertime as well as a couple other events throughout the year. I do hope i get to attend their Halloween ghost stories.
One thing i learned that i guess i didn’t ever realise was that Nathan never actually lived in this house. After his mother passed, Nathan’s father, Deacon Richard Hale and all 9(?) of his children lived together in a very, very small house. It wasnt until after Richard was remarried, that this newer and larger house was built. By this point, i believe Nathan had already moved away to be a teacher in New London.
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Here are photos of their medicine cabinet and their fireplace✨
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Photos of their piano forte in the sitting room and a drawn family tree.
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And this was Deacon Richard Hale’s writing desk. If I remember correctly, he was a deacon in the church and a magistrate. He dealt with small court disputes in their house which I found very silly (and the wax stamp had an H on it idk why that made me die😭)
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And here, in one of the upstairs rooms, they displayed artist renditions of what we think Nathan Hale and his brothers looked like. I think Nathan had 9 (?) biological siblings that survived to adulthood, one of which being his sister Johanna. And then i believe he had 3 step siblings after his father remarried (im trying to recall everything the tour guide said).
Johanna isnt depictied in these drawings, its only the brothers, but her room was on display for the tour and it had a lot of windows. The tour guide said it was because she apparently loved to read, so they made sure her room had the most windows for the most light??😭😭🥹🥹
Anyways, all of Nathan’s brothers went to war except for the youngest one. Also, if you look at the years of their deaths, Samuel Hale (the oldest sibling) actually outlived them all?? Which makes me want to scream???? Samuel also didn’t inherit the family farm, it actually went to his brother John.
Joseph Hale- (damn he can get it lowkey..🥵) while in the war was captured by the British and was on a prison ship until he was exchanged and honestly I’ve been thinking about it too much. So glad he didn’t die of dysentery or something. But he did pass of consumption at only 34 which I can’t even handle.
Enoch, went to Yale along with Nathan and they were in the same graduating class which i think is so cutesy. The tour guide also said that one of the pewter steins in one of the sitting rooms (i don’t actually have a photo unfortunately) belonged to Enoch and I wanted to scream, like was it ACTUALLY his???
They had a display of several items they found on the property like coins, buttons, ect. but I didn’t take a photo of that either. It was in the same room as these images of the brothers.
I think we all know Nathan, and quite honestly i didn’t even realise he had so many siblings until this tour. I suppose one could assume given the time period - everyone had like 5+ children. But of all the times i was taught about Nathan Hale (and that was kind of a lot, being a Connecticut resident for my entire life) no one ever mentioned his family or his siblings. There was a portrait of Deacon Richard Hale in the downstairs area- I didn’t realise this in the moment, my sister mentioned it later, but (based on the artist’s rendition) Nathan looked just like his father. I found it really funny when i realised it.
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This was Nathan’s hunting rifle as well, another thing that apparently belonged to one of the members of the Hale family that made me want to scream (more on that in my final thoughts).
And last photo (the Turn: Washington’s Spies baddies are gonna LOVE this one)
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This is a list of the Yale University (back then, it was just Yale College) honours graduating class of 1773. On it, is Nathan and Enoch Hale of course. But also, Nathan’s friend and “roommate” 👀 (and our favourite spymaster) Benjamin Tallmadge!!!!! I had to keep my mouth shut when the tour guide mentioned that he was on this list, but I was screaming internally and my sister and i made goofy ahh eye contact.
Their names are towards the top, Enoch and Nathan are listed in the third small column while Benjamin is in the sixth one all the way to the right.
Things that i saw/were talked about that i didn’t take a photo of was a shadow drawing of Nathan’s side profile. At some point, Nathan stood in front of a door in the house while someone traced the outline of his shadow onto it. I don’t quite know why that was done..? Perhaps it was for a genuine reason or maybe the Hale siblings were just messing around. But it’s a pretty big deal considering there are actually no true portraits of Nathan or his siblings. Just statues and drawings that are artist renditions based on historical accounts. There was a historian who wrote about Nathan Hale and came in contact with a member of the Hale family (Rebecca Hale, I believe). She told him about the shadow drawing and it was a long and interesting story that I unfortunately don’t remember all the parts to. A piece about the portrait is typed on a paper in the photo of Nathan’s rifle, if you can zoom in, you can read a little more on it.
Their gift shop was also small and cutesy and I spent a lot of money there on books. On display there, they had an old piece of wood from the original house. I got a published copy of Reverend John Hale’s, A Modest Inquiry into the Nature of Witchcraft.
If anyone wasn’t aware, Reverend John Hale (ancestor of Nathan Hale) was called to Salem, Massachusetts from Beverly to assist in the Salem Witch Trials in 1692. He was partially responsible for the persecution of several innocent people however, nearing the end of the trials, he began to disagree with the accusations. He published this firsthand account to condemn the actions of those involved with the trials and I’ve always thought it was so interesting. I’ve wanted to read this since I read The Crucible back in high school and i was very excited to see it at the gift shop.
You can also visit the Hale Farm in Beverly, MA where Rev. John Hale used to live and I want to someday. I’ve only ever been outside of it, I’ve never properly visited for a tour. (Cutesy fact as well: Rev. John’s Hale’s birthday is June 3rd, which is only 3 days before Nathan’s).
Final Thoughts:
The Hale Family was absolutely MASSIVE. Our tour guide mentioned being a descendant of the Hale Family and im sure a number of “born and raised” New England residents are as well somewhere in their ancestry. Based on the drawn family tree, most of the members had probably 4 kids minimum and then those kids all had a ton of kids. It’s also very funny to me how there are probably several Hale’s who are decently significant figures in history and it’s just wild that it’s all one family. I know it’s the same for royal families and such but it feels different somehow.
According to our tour guide, one theory about how Nathan Hale was captured was by Robert Rogers. That Rogers invited him to dinner and convinced Nathan that he was also part of the Continental Army. Nathan then confided his mission in Rogers and was lured into a false sense of security that lead to him being captured. Which is another one for the Turn baddies that almost made me die when I heard it. Especially since I don’t believe I’ve heard that theory before.
Something I did really enjoy about this tour was how it didn’t completely focus on Nathan. Of course that would have been fine and equally as interesting, but it was mainly a lesson on his family and some of his descendants. After being taught about Nathan Hale so many times, I had no idea about his entire family and his siblings.
It also never TRULY occurred to me that there aren’t any real portraits of Nathan Hale. They’ve all been artist renditions as paintings or statues based on historical descriptions of him and something about that is extremely wild to me. It makes me somewhat grateful for our easy access to camera and video in our modern world. There are so many faces and stories that have been completely lost to time - even some very significant historical figures have little to no surviving images. Like, we know who they are and that they were here at some point - we have their belongings and things that they used. Thats why seeing Nathan’s rifle in the bedroom or Enoch’s stein in the sitting room cause me to have such visceral reactions. This was theirs once. This was used by someone probably everyday. And now its almost like a ghost or memory of them. The land around the property is heavily wooded as well, lots of trees and stones. My sister and I took a short walk around the property before leaving and it really made me think: how many of these stones did they touch? How many of these large trees did they lean on? It drives me so insane honestly.
One last thing that hadn’t occurred to me before this trip was how the Hale family learned of Nathan’s hanging. According to the tour guide, Enoch and a couple his brothers had heard of a Hale being found guilty of espionage and being hanged. And after looking into it more, Enoch did confirm that it was Nathan and sent word to the rest of the family. It’s said that before being hanged, Nathan only asked for a few things: A priest (which he did not get), parchment, quill and ink for writing. He wrote a letter to his commanding officer and one to his family. According to the guide, i believe neither one was sent. Perhaps the one to the officer was sent, however he never received it because he was killed in battle before he had the chance. And allegedly, the one written to the Hale family was seized by the British and was likely used as a written confession rather than being sent home to Nathan’s family. I honestly can’t imagine how upsetting that must’ve been for all of them. Especially with each of the Hale brothers being in the war and likely all in different places, there wasn’t really any other way for them to find out that their own brother was hanged aside from the way everyone else learned of it - through the newspaper or by word of mouth. No other Hale brother died in the war either, they all survived and had relatively high rankings by the time the war was over.
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So that was my trip, it was fun and informative and I would really love to visit again sometime. I highly recommend anyone who is a fan of history, or Turn: Washington’s Spies to visit if you can! They are only open seasonally though, and only on weekends. They do a tour every hour, so plan accordingly if you want to visit!
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