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siythn · 3 days

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Survivors Guilt

LEVIXREADER! You typically know how to contain your emotions. But when an expedition goes horribly wrong, leaving you scarred with remorse, the only person that knows how to guide you through it is Levi Ackerman. _________ ♫ fragile - laufey ❝ɴᴏᴡ ɪ ꜱɪᴛ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴜꜱᴛ ɪɴ ʀᴀɪɴ, ᴛᴜʀɴ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴅᴜꜱᴛ ᴀꜱ ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡᴀɪᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ❞

Today was shit. The expedition was shit. You feel like shit. Shit is the only word you can make out in your overstimulated head. You want nothing more than to curl into a ball and cry; to scream and fight. But you have more decorum than that.

Getting off your horse, you move to put her into her stables, but you’re stopped by an arm holding your shoulder. “You can just go rest,” Petra mutters, voice low as if to keep noisy peers from eavesdropping, “but if you ever need me, you know where to find me.”

She gives you a small squeeze on the shoulder her land lays on as you muster a shallow smile to express your gratitude.

Choking out a small thank you in return she grabs the reigns, directing the horse towards the barn. Without sparing Petra another look, you gradually make your way back to your quarters.

You must look as bad as you feel with the sudden act of sympathy. Eyes dark, body cramped, but you can’t find it in yourself to care, your mind stuck on reminiscing from the horrid mission a few hours ago.

It was a disaster – so many lives lost, so much blood spilled. And yet, somehow, you made it out alive. You. The guilt gnaws at your insides, a relentless monster that refuses to be silenced. As much as you try to reassure yourself, the unpleasant feeling in your stomach remains.

What you can remember most was the blood. That ugly, vile color that still stains the clothes you’re wearing now.

The longer it stays on, the stronger the smell, the more memories of the events that took place come back. You’re ripping it off you when you have the chance.

Your feet walk you down the long, quiet hallway. A few soldiers are scattered around here and there, some faces you recognize, some pass by you with an abrupt glance, a silent message saying they understand.

A minute to two passes, and your wooden door left closed is what welcomes you back home. You don’t do anything for a while, just stare at the lumber without thought. The footsteps of others approaching break your focus and let you pull the door open.

As you step into your room, the weight of the world hangs heavy on your shoulders. With trembling hands, you close the door behind you, the click echoing in the empty room.

It feels suffocating, the silence deafening in its intensity. You're alone with your thoughts, and they're threatening to consume you whole.

Without warning, a surge of anger courses through your veins, hot and fierce. You lash out, sweeping your arm across the table, sending papers and trinkets flying in a chaotic whirlwind, crying out when you do so. The room becomes a battleground, the remnants of your rage strewn across the floor like fallen soldiers.

With hard, shaken breaths, you start ripping your clothes that reek or have a hint of blood. You throw them onto the floor, adding to the chaos issuing. When you’re left in your undergarments, you feel the cold breeze slide across your skin; making you get goosebumps.

But as quickly as it came, the anger fades, leaving behind only a hollow emptiness. You sink to the ground, knees buckling beneath you as you crumble under the weight of your grief.

Wrapping your arms around yourself, you grip yourself tight. Tears spill from your eyes in a torrent, your sobs echoing off the walls in a symphony of pain.

You're not sure how long you stay like that, shaking as you’re curled up on the cold floor amidst the wreckage of your room. Your hair falls in front of your face, tickling your cheeks while they start becoming damp. Time seems to lose all meaning, the world is reduced to nothing more than a blur of tears and broken dreams.

And then, like a light in the darkness, you hear it – the soft sound of footsteps approaching from the hallway. You know without a doubt who it is, even before the door creaks open to reveal him standing there, a silent sentinel in the doorway.

Levi.

He takes in the scene before him with a single glance – the shattered remnants of your room, the tears streaking down your cheeks, the brokenness etched into every line of your body. And then, without a word, he crosses the room in three swift strides, dropping to his knees beside you.

For a long moment, he simply sits there. His body next to yours; is one of warmth (that you can’t help but wish you were closer to) as he faces the door, knees up as he rests his forearms against them. Levi’s presence is a comforting weight at your side. He doesn’t seem to mind the lack of clothes as he sits still. Waiting for you.

And then, slowly, he reaches out, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder in a gesture of silent solidarity, using his thumb to stroke your skin back and forth.

You turn to him then, your gaze meeting his in a silent plea for understanding. And in that moment, as you look into his eyes, you see it – the same pain, the same grief, mirrored back at you in equal measure. It’s not just you suffering. The thought makes you feel better about the now dirty mess you created in the high of your emotions.

Without a word, he pulls you into his arms, holding you close as you bury your face against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat a lifeline in the darkness.

You can feel your tears starting to dampen his shirt, but all you can focus on is trying and match your breath to the slow and steady heartbeat. As you cling to him, you realize that maybe – just maybe – you're not as alone as you thought.

His presence is a comforting anchor amidst the raging tempest of your emotions, his steady heart, a soothing rhythm against your ear. Yet, even as you cling to him desperately, the weight of your grief bears down upon you with a crushing force, threatening to suffocate you beneath its suffocating grip.

Even when Levi holds you close, his arms wrapped around you in a protective embrace, you feel a tumultuous wave of emotions crashing over you again like a relentless storm.

The memory of the mission – the chaos, the loss, the fear – floods your mind with an overwhelming intensity, threatening to consume you in its wake. In response, you tighten the grip you just realized you had on his shirt, tighter.

It comes in hot, not giving you time to digest what’s happening before you notice more brutal tears coming. Your crying stream comes down your cheeks unchecked, each one a poignant reminder of the lives lost, the sacrifices made, and the wounds that you’ve bestowed to yourself.

You try to hold back the flood of emotions, to push the memories away, but they claw their way back into your mind with relentless ferocity, tearing at the fragile threads of your composure. Your broken weeping fills the room, only stopping for you to catch your breath before continuing.

The burden of survivor's guilt presses heavily upon your shoulders, its weight almost too much to bear.

You were one of the few who made it out alive, and yet, you can't shake the feeling that you don't deserve to be here, that you should have done more, been better, and somehow prevented the tragedy that unfolded.

And then, just when you think you can't bear it any longer, Levi's hands find their way to your hair, his touch gentle and reassuring against your skin. His fingers weave through the tangled strands, a silent gesture of comfort and understanding that speaks volumes more than words ever could.

For a moment, you allow yourself to lean into his touch, to lose yourself in the warmth of his embrace.

His presence offers you a measure of solace, a brief respite from the storm raging within your soul. Yet, even as you find momentary refuge in his arms, the pain of the past still lingers like a shadow, casting a pall over your heart.

You bury your head into the embrace, your head meeting the crook of his neck as tears cascade, hiccuping quietly. In response, his grip on your hair tightens ever so slightly, before continuing his gesture.

You feel Levi’s lips press softly against the top of your head, a tender peck that sends a tremble down your spine. In a different situation, you would tease him for such an intimate act. But his affection surrounds you like a protective shield, his strength a steady beacon in the darkness of your despair.

And as the tears gradually subside and the storm of emotions begins to ebb, Levi remains by your side, his presence a steadfast anchor in the sea of turmoil that rages within you. With a trembling sigh, you lean back fully against him, exhaustion seeping into your bones as you find solace in the warmth of his embrace.

"Look," Levi's voice is soft, barely above a whisper, yet it carries a weight of understanding and empathy that pierces through the darkness of your despair. "I know it hurts. I know it feels like the weight of the world is crushing down on you like there's no escape from the pain."

You listen, your breath catching in your throat as Levi’s words wash over you like a ball for you wounded soul. His hand now continues to run soothingly through your hair, his touch a silent reassurance of his unwavering support.

"But you're not alone," He mumbles, pausing the petting of your hair to cup the back of your head gently. "I'm here with you, always. And together, we'll get through this."

You feel a shudder go down your spine at the word we’ll. You know he’s hurting as much as you are, and he’s opening up to get through rough times, with you.

His words offer you a measure of comfort, a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness that threatens to consume you. Yet, even as you try to hold onto his words like a lifeline, the pain still lingers a sharp ache that refuses to be silenced.

“It’s okay to feel hurt,” His tone is faint, you don’t know if it’s from his tone or the fatigue that’s hitting you from crying. “It’s okay to cry, to grieve, to mourn for what’s been lost. But don’t let it consume you. Don’t let it define who you are.”

His words strike a chord deep within your heart, a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there is still light to be found, still hope to be held onto. Slowly, you release the grip you have on his now wrinkled shirt, letting it fall limply onto your lap.

And as you listen to Levi's reassuring words, you feel a flicker of strength stirring within you, a determination to rise above the pain and find a way forward. But as always, the guilt consumes you whole.

Even as you try to speak, to voice your gratitude for his unwavering support, you find your voice catching in your throat, your words choked with emotion. Levi's hand tightens ever so slightly in your hair, his touch a silent reassurance that it's okay to let your guard down, to show your vulnerability.

“I’m here for you,” Levi’s voice a whisper, but it seems to echo across the disheveled room. “Always.”

As the weight of his words and exhaustion settles over you like a heavy fog, you feel your eyes beginning to close as much as you try and fight off the craving for sleep your body needs.

Without uttering a single word, he rises from his place beside you, understanding your drained body. He gathers you into his arms, carrying you bridal style, making your head fall onto his shoulder.

You find yourself gravitating into his warmth, the tension in your body melting away as he holds you close, his arms a home of strength against the storm raging within your soul.

With each step he takes, carrying you effortlessly across the room, you feel a sense of weightlessness settle over you as if the burdens of the day are being lifted from your shoulders one by one.

He gently sits you on your bed. You don’t bother seeing where he went, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. What does he think of me now? Is a reoccurring question that pops up in your brain.

His actions make your worries disappear one by one, as he slips on an oversized shirt onto you. One that came presumably from your closet, onto you.

There’s a tenderness in his actions, a silent acknowledgement of the pain and exhaustion you’re feeling. He lays you down on the bed, tucking the blankets around you with a care that tugs at your heartstrings.

Levi settles in bedside you, drawing you close until you’re nestled against his chest, your head resting on the left side. The warmth of his hold envelops you like a protective cocoon, his steady heartbeat letting the promise be known that he’ll always be here.

With a soft touch, Levi slips an arm around your waist, drawing you closer to him. His touch is firm yet gentle, the calluses on his palm remind you of prior events.

His fingers move in a soothing rhythm as they trace a path up and down your back, each stroke a balm for the ache that lingers within you. There's a quiet strength in his touch, a steadiness that anchors you in the present moment.

With each gentle stroke, you feel the tension in your muscles begin to melt away, the knots of stress loosening their grip as you sink deeper into Levi's embrace.

It's a simple gesture, sure, yet it carries volumes of the depth of his care and concern for you. In the softness of his touch, you find a sense of comfort and security that you've been desperately craving, a respite from the chaos and uncertainty of the world outside.

The more his fingers continue their gentle motion, reacting soothing patterns along your spine, you can’t help but linger in the moment. You attempt to fight off the darkness that wants to take you away. You need - not want, to savor the warmth of his touch and the tranquility of his embrace.

In the quiet of the room, with only the sound of Levi's steady breathing to accompany you, you find yourself lingering on the edge of sleep, reluctant to let go of the comfort and security that his presence provides.

You feel your eyelids grow heavy with sleep, your breathing slowing as you begin to drift off into a peaceful slumber. You surrender to the embrace of sleep, wrapped in Levi's arms.

But eventually, exhaustion overtakes you, pulling you down into the depths of slumber, wrapped in Levi's arms, cradled in his comfort.

AUTHORS NOTE! - yes i know this is similar to aftercare. . .i just can’t help myself!! promise next oneshot will be with gojo (can u guys tell i love soft levi caring for reader yet Ü)

#ꜱɪʏᴛʜɴ #aot #aot x reader #leviackerman #levi x fem!reader #levi fluff #levi x reader #levi x female reader #shingeki no kyojin #fluffy #levi x you #snk levi #aotau #eren #armin #mikasa #attack on titan #aot au #aot fanfiction

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finzzrain · 1 day

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04.02.24

#art #digital art #oc #colors #рисунок #finzzrain #fluffy #artwork #mlp g4 #mlp #mlp art #my art #my ocs #my little pony

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domoniki-11-11 · 2 days

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Look at this tiny boy!

#Legoshi #rabbit #pet #animal #houserabbit #bunny #legoshi #animals #pets #rabbits #companions #buns #bnnuy #cute #fluffy #small #ears #little #baby

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sh4wty18 · 2 days

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makeup.

pairing: johnnie guilbert x you

summary: you and johnnie are dating and decide to film a video of you doing his makeup

cw: fluff, language, suggestive but nothing major

word count: 1.5k + edited

---

“Hey guys! So today I’m here with…”

“Y/N!” you finish, slightly nervous as it’s your first time streaming alone with Johnnie.

Johnnie giggles a little, sensing your nerves. He gently squeezes your thigh under the desk, out of sight of the viewers, letting you know he’s here for you. You grip his hand in return and squeeze, and he grins in response, stating matter-of-factly, “Yes! And this is her first time streaming with me! She’s gonna do great, guys. She’s a hundred times cooler than me as it is.” he gazes into your eyes while he says this, providing you with the comfort you need to get over your fear.

The thought of thousands of people judging your every move is daunting, but you know Johnnie just wants this to be a fun experience for both of you. Plus, his fans have been wanting to see you guys interact on screen for a while now. The edits of you guys together are really cute to be fair, it’s just the sudden fame that comes with dating an internet celebrity has been… a lot. Luckily for the most part, Johnnie’s fans have accepted you with open arms, and they seem genuinely happy to see him finally in a healthy relationship.

“So today…” Johnnie starts, “Y/N and I thought it would be fun for her to do my makeup, you know, since we have such different styles and stuff.”

“Wow… that description was… enlightening” you respond fake-sarcastically, which elicits an equally fake-sarcastic eye roll from Johnnie.

“Alright let’s just get into the makeup then if my girlfriend is gonna start bullying me now…” he trails off, as you begin to laugh and grip his arm, and soon he’s unable to contain his own giggling. Even though you both share a jokingly-sarcastic sense of humor with each other, neither of you can ever get through a bit with a straight face. One of you always ends up dying of laughter and the other can’t stop from joining. Johnnie never laughed this much with anyone– other than maybe Jake. But once you guys started dating a few months ago, Johnnie’s been all smiles.

“Okay, okay!” you say, catching your breath. “So like Johnnie said, our styles are super different. He’s emo and I’m kinda just doing whatever I like at the time. So I figured I would do my typical going-out makeup look for him today.”

“I’m terrified.” he responds, “I’ve seen your going out looks… There's a lot of glitter involved. I mean you look hot but…”

“Oh you’ll be fine.” you snarkily reply, “You always look hot anyway, this’ll just… amplify your beauty!”

He laughs, “Okay… I guess I trust you, girlfriend.” Johnnie has made a habit of calling you girlfriend as much as possible. It started as a joke between you guys– pet names that is. You would call each other pookie and boo bear and stuff like that over text and in instagram comments, eliciting hilarious responses from your fans, who had fun trying to figure out if you were being serious or not. Then one day, he called you girlfriend while greeting you in one of his videos with Jake, and you called him boyfriend in response. Ever since then, you’ve been unironically using those titles for each other. You both know it’s corny, but you don’t care. You’re too in love to care. Neither of you have ever felt this deep of a connection with anyone you’ve dated. Nothing about it can be “cringe” because you’re both too happy with each other to mind.

“Um.. I would hope so, boyfriend.” You roll your eyes at him and he tilts your chin towards his face and kisses you. “Enough PDA, we have work to do!” you back away as he tries to go in for another kiss, “At least let me get started,” you smile back at him, cheekily.

“Guys did you see that? She swerved me. What the fuck? This is so unfair. My girlfriend hates me.” The chat goes crazy, most people going along with the bit and saying stuff like “how dare you y/n😔” and “nooooo she gagged him lmao💀”

“Needy, needy man” you grip his chin and peck him, “There, happy now?”

“Yes… we can start the makeup now” he grins fake-maniacally.

“Okay, I don’t use primer so we’re just gonna jump right in with concealer…”

—

“Stop, stopppp that’s enough!!!” Johnnie pleads in his raspy vocal-fry shout you’ve heard so many times before in his videos with Jake.

“We’re almost done, you’re such a fucking baby” You laugh as he blinks down on the mascara wand for what feels like the hundredth time. “Okay now all we have left is lip gloss. But I figured we could do this the fun way, since you are clearly obsessed with me and wanna kiss me so bad” You flip your hair, “I mean, as you should!”

“Alright we gotta keep this PG for the kids,” Johnnie says in one of his silly voices.

“Since when have your videos ever been PG, sir??”

“Well… I guess you have a point,” he replies, leaning in and kissing you gently on the lips. You lean into it, and hold his cheek. You both pull away after a couple seconds, not wanting to fully start making out, which is where your innocent kisses usually lead. But considering you’re on stream, maybe that could wait until the cameras were off.

You apply your favorite lip gloss to your own lips and smirk at him. He quickly catches on and says, “Oh so we’re chapstick challenging this bitch, huh?”

“Oh yeah.” you laugh, and grip both sides of his face with your hands. At first you plant your lips firmly on his, actually attempting to transfer the lip gloss directly onto his lips. But then, you start planting kisses all over his face, leaving pink sticky smudges wherever your lips decide to land.

“NOOOO!!! NOOO! HELPPP!! I’M BEING ATTACKED BY MY GIRLFRIEND. CHAT SAVE ME” Johnnie yells, gripping the sides of his desk to try and escape your grasp.

“You’ll never escape me!!” you yell, leaping out of your own chair and onto his lap, continuing to plant kisses all over his cheeks and forehead. He grabs your waist with one hand, and your neck with the other, pulling you into a real, passionate kiss. One of your hands grips the headrest of his office chair, while the other cups the base of his neck, playing with his hair.��

He gasps for breath after a good twenty seconds, and you two both turn to face the camera, flushed with a mix of embarrassment and desire. “Well… sorry about that guys.” He says sheepishly, then turning to you adds, “The editors are about to go crazy on that one.”

“No for real” you respond, giggling, “I don’t mind.”

He gazes into your eyes like you’re the only woman he’s ever loved, “Me neither.” And you can’t stop yourself from grinning.

“How did I get so lucky, guys?” you ask. The chat responses have been super positive since the kiss, with comments ranging from “i feel like i’m interrupting something lol” to “the way he looks at her😭 they’re so in love omg”

“Well, now that I look like a pretty princess, I think we’re gonna call it here, guys. Thank you so much for joining the stream, and if you wanna buy my merch go to johnnieguilbert.com, oh and stream my music.” Johnnie finishes the outro and looks up at you, who is still sitting on his lap, “Anything you wanna add, y/n?”

“Ummm… I guess just that I think this was a really good first one-on-one stream, and you guys all made me feel super comfortable and welcome here, so thank you. Also, look how cute Johnnie looks! He’s so pretty with my pink eyeshadow on. You should do this more often, boyfriend.”

“We’ll see about that, girlfriend.” he giggles, “And I’m glad you felt comfortable today, you’re awesome and I love being able to make content with you. Alright, bye guys.” he switches off the camera. “You did great! Just like I knew you would. I love you.”

It’s the first time he’s ever said it out loud, but you can’t say you weren’t expecting it. The way you act around each other, there’s no other name for it other than true, unconditional, intense love. “I love you too, Johnnie.”

You swing one of your thighs around his legs, straddling him, and he grips your ass with both hands. You wrap your arms around his neck as he leans up to face you. He kisses you like you’re his lifeblood, like he needs you to survive. It’s messy, and primal, and you’re both out of breath and gasping for air, but neither of you want to stop. And in this moment, you know you would do anything to be with him like this, forever. Feeling him, tasting him, breathing him in. You’ve never felt anything quite like this, and you don’t think you’ll ever want to be with anyone else ever again. It's just you and him.

---

posted this on ao3 first, and i still have 3 more from my ao3 to repost here! likes and reblogs are always appreciated <3

#sh4wty18 #johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert fluff #johnnie guilbert x reader #johnnie x reader #johnnie guilbert x you #one shot #fluffy one shot #fluffy #original one shot #cute #johnnie x you

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my-kawaii--world · 7 hours

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OMG I FOUND THE NECKLACE HERE WITH FREE SHIPPING!!!

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leelee1234love · 3 days

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Language!

18+ Minors DNI!!!

Full Masterlist Marvel Masterlist

Pairing: daddy!Steve rogers x Little!reader

Summary: Sam and buck accidentally teach you some new words…

Warnings: swearing,bad language,mentions of alcohol!!!(please tell me if I missed any!!!)

“Ha! Suck on that tin man” Sam smirked as buckys character died on the tv making Bucky roll his eyes.

You was sat on buckys lap helping him play,

“Whatever bird brain, I’m not even in control” Bucky said gesturing to you playing with his controller.

“Oh yeaahhh, that’s bullshit, you just handed her the controller just the” Sam grinned

“Bullshit!” You exclaimed as you tapped on the controller.

Sam and Buckys heads snapped towards you before looking at one another.

Giving each other a shared look of ‘were in deep shit’

“What did you say?” Sam asked and you giggled.

“Bullshit!”

“Oi! No swearing…” Bucky said sternly and you gave him a sad pout.

“Okay…”

“Have you got any beer?” Sam asked as he hopped over the sofa.

“Uh yeah in the fridge, get me one too” Bucky responded, before sam walked away.

As Sam opened the fridge door one of the bottles fell out and exploded “fuck!” He yelled as he got sprayed directly in the face.

Bucky was in hysterics, his face hurt from laughing so hard.

Until…

“Fuck bullshit!”

You shouted

“Shit…” Sam said and you repeated him “Shit!”

“Oh god” Bucky groaned.

“Hey! Stop that or your daddy’s gonna be very mad…he’ll kill us then give you a timeout” Sam warned making you pout with big puppy eyes.

Sam smiled “don’t give in birdbrain” Bucky rolled his eyes

“Only heartless people like you wouldn’t give in to that puppy face…” Sam said ruffling your hair.

“Hey guys I’m back!” Steve announced as he shut the door.

“Hello sweetheart” Steve smiled when you ran over to him giving him a big hug.

“Have you been good?” He asked and you paused before nodding your head.

Sam and Bucky shared a look before trying to sneakily exit the room.

As steve picked you up he dropped his keys “oh fuck!” You yelled making all three of the men’s heads turn.

“Hey language!” Steve said before turning to Sam and buck who had massive guilty smiles on their faces.

“What did you two do?!” Steve groaned through an angry tone.

“We babysat” Sam said before grabbing buckys arm and running.

Accidentally running into a wall, and then scrambling themselves together again before running out the door.

Steve looked at you and you gave him a cheeky smile.

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