i think it's kinda funny that my perception of a!astarion jumps between 'the most cartoonish of villains, would steal candy from a baby while cackling maniacally' and 'oh. huh. he almost certainly would make spawn!oli murder his entire home-village as punishment for wanting to go back even just long enough to say goodbye, wouldn't he?' they can definitely coexist, but it's a fun spectrum, lmao

...oh. but. the thing is, it wouldn't just be punishment. there'd be some kind of love (or something resembling it, i suppose) behind the order. because he'd have learned some of oli's history, would know that maybe he wasn't quite treated right. at least by his grandfather. and maybe initially he only intends to have oli cut that tie, quite literally, but ofc he insists on going with and he learns even more of oli's history and abuse he suffered at the hands of his grandad and others and the fact that the village knew of ways he was being abused but turned a blind eye.... well. these people have all had a hand in hurting astarion's most precious treasure. and while he wants to rip out their throats personally for their Crimes, he wouldn't want to deprive oli the chance to punish them all himself. at that point, he considers the opportunity a gift, i think.

and if he ends up having to compel oli to do all of this? he'd consider it less completely removing oli's autonomy and more giving him a little push. oli’s heart may no longer be beating, but it never stopped bleeding, after all, and he's still far too soft to even consider giving his neighbors exactly what they deserve. but they do deserve it. and if astarion needs to get oli out of his own way in this, then so be it. he'll be stronger for it. he’ll thank astarion later, surely