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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 3 years

Note

do you like the plot of the new tlsq? honestly I don't, to me torvus is too angry with mc for something we couldn't avoid imo, the acromantula attacked us, what were we supposed to do, die? maybe i missed something, i don't understand all these "it's your fault" accusations

....I've got a lot to say.

I'm watching the footage right now and honestly...it's really not a very good story at all. It feels like maybe they wanted to make a TLSQ about Torvus but more out of a sense of obligation or opportunity, as he was one of the character who didn't have one yet. Not because they had a story they wanted to tell about him. Like, we don't learn anything about Torvus or about his relationship to Jacob. I'm not saying that I'm opposed to TLSQs that act as follow-up to things that happened in the main story, but between this and the Knighthood TLSQ...it's just never executed very well. Not to mention that the whole motif of togetherness and community is soured by how mean-spirited the tone feels.

First of all, like you said, the premise is absolutely ridiculous. They repeat the idea that MC is to blame for everything, so many times that if it was a drinking game, you'd die of alcoholism. Usually having MC own up to this, regardless of player input. Which is kind of frustrating if you think about it for longer than half a second and realize that not only was none of this was MC's fault, but you'd seriously have to be confunded to think that this was a logical conclusion. The entire trajectory of how all of this happened is a bit woolly and not well defined, but to place the blame on MC's shoulders is nonsense, and as a result the entire story is systematically broken, especially concerning MC's motivation. Torvus blames them for everything, and they just...kind of go with it. Everyone does, for no apparent reason.

So opening the Forest Vault is cited as the reason for why all of this started. Considering how much they try to push a theme of interconnection and the bonds of nature, I could believe that the Vault would have unforeseen effects on the ecosystem. Hey, we still don't get how the Vaults work, so that would be fair enough...Except apparently what it all came down to was MC's duel with the Acromantula. That's what caused a chain reaction of events that...er, somehow, led to the Centaurs having a water shortage. But the Acromantula was responsible for the trouble with the fairies and the red cap. He had nothing to do with the Troll and the Forest Lake. Did I miss something? The Acromantula had no connection to the Centaurs' problems. No, you know what ultimately caused the problem with the Troll? The sleepwalking students. They trod upon the bubotubers while under the spell. So, in other words...MC opening the Forest Vault stopped the problem from getting any worse. Not only did their actions not cause this, they actively helped. Why doesn't Torvus, or anyone for that matter, point this out?

No one seems willing to take apart the logical fallacies of Torvus' vendetta. Why is MC blamed exclusively when it was a joint effort? Charlie was there. Hagrid was there. Torvus was there! They all helped open the Vault! And he has the nerve to act like this is all on MC? It's no better than when Dumbledore gave MC a year's worth of detention and ignored the other students who came along. That's not even getting into the ludicrous idea that MC is at fault for the duel with the Acromantula. Y'know, where it was trying to kill them and their friends? And they didn't do any lasting harm to the creature at all? And it was his choice to leave his colony? Why is that our problem? The story forces MC to "prove" to Torvus that they can be trusted to solve this problem even though he demanded their presence in the first place. Does he want their help or not? It just really tests my patience. We even have to prove to the Acromantulas that we can be trusted to solve the problem. Why? That seems like such a waste of time. Why do I care if they have faith in MC?

So MC's obligation to this problem, which the quest loves to have them restate, is flat. What about the consequences if they don't fix this? Yeah, no, that's nonsense too. Not to call Torvus' bluff, but literally no one in the quest does, so I suppose I'd better. Just what does he mean by saying that MC will be "banned" from the Forbidden Forest? Does he not realize that they already are? Has he forgotten that the humans call it the "Forbidden Forest" and that students aren't allowed to go in? Clearly, MC has been disregarding that for a while, and Torvus knows it. Tell me why MC should stop visiting the Forest just because Torvus says they have to. Y'know, Care of Magical Creatures classes are sometimes taken into the Forest. What is MC supposed to do if that happens? Get a zero for the day? Why should they? I know it's Kettleburn and he's a little bit odd, but the point is that this would cause a conflict and I don't imagine the school staff would care about the Centaurs' wants in this situation.

I know the Centaurs consider the Forest to be their land, and they have a strained relationship with the humans at best, but seriously, what exactly are they going to do if MC disregards their "ban?" Short of killing MC on sight, how are they gonna enforce this? And again, I'm gonna call that bluff because Centaurs do not harm children. Culturally, it is considered extremely taboo to harm a "foal." Never mind the trouble they would get into with Dumbledore and the Ministry, not to mention R, who want MC alive. Speaking of the teachers, why does MC so freely tell Flitwick and Sprout about their plans to try and temper a troll? They shouldn't, because any reasonable teacher would react with alarm and forbid MC from doing this. Confine them to their Common Room while the staff goes to sort this out. Come to think of it, why don't Flitwick and Sprout do this? They just shrug off MC announcing their intent to visit the Forbidden Forest and tame a dangerous creature! (Deep, deep sigh.) Look Torvus, The Creatures Reserve is (probably) within the Forest, so no, Luca's not gonna stop visiting. It's one of the areas in the hub world of the game, and this quest drops at a point when MC still has to visit later on for plot reasons....so I know The Forest isn't going anywhere. This threat isn't scary, it's irritating in how blatantly empty it is.

At the end of it all, MC has to review what they learned in their path of atonement, and show Torvus how much they've grown. Get the hell out of here with that. MC and Charlie could have died a few times over, and that's on Torvus. He didn't tell MC about the troll! He knew, and didn't tell them! Because "something thing, you needed to learn a lesson, etc." No! That's not okay! I'm supposed to consider him my friend after this? Seriously, I wouldn't mind all of this so much if Torvus didn't constantly treat MC like a hated criminal, and MC didn't so humbly accept that treatment. I'm gonna need to rewrite this one a fair bit in my headcanons because Luca may be soft and an occasional pushover, but they also develop a nose for bullshit as time goes on, and this entire TLSQ is demanding MC atone for saving the school, for something they already faced punishment for with the kitchen detentions. For something that Torvus participated in, and seemed quite happy about at the time. Y'know what, I'm starting to think he's got a pretty serious entitled streak. And for better or for worse (and by that I mean, for worse) I think MC may have nurtured that streak when they first met Torvus. He blamed them for Jacob's actions, and MC did everything they could to "make it right." I think Torvus has learned from that incident that he can hold MC accountable for anything so long as he finds some six degrees of separation method of claiming it involved them.

I feel terrible for the fans of Torvus' character. Because this quest is even stupider than the Knighthood TLSQ and it makes me even angrier than the All Wizard Tournament. This one was, to put it nicely, a misfire.

#Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery #Long Post #HPHM Analysis #HPHM Torvus #The Ramblings of a Mad Cat #HPHM Jacob's Sibling #Charlie Weasley #Rubeus Hagrid #The Forest Vault #The Forbidden Forest #Torvus

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adultingautistic · 4 years

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Would mind taking your best guess at if any of these sound like meltdowns, shutdowns, or something else? I'm having a bit of trouble telling. I'll try to be as coherent as I can. 1) Sometimes I just suddenly end up getting really, really angry for no reason, normally after family dinners. In order to calm down I need time alone, but when I try to leave I normally get stopped to help out with leftovers, which leads to me sounding snappy despite my best efforts, and having to stay longer (1/4)

and get angrier and angrier and I just want everything to go away, but I still try my best to act normal and calm and take deep breaths until I can leave. Plus, my parents always want to talk and figure out what's wrong, and give me a hug to show they love me, but I just can't deal with the physical contact.

First, you’re not getting angry for no reason. You’ve been told that there’s ‘no reason’ for your anger by those who are dismissing your experiences. There is a reason. It might be “nothing big” to allistics, but it is something to you, and if you keep having that feeling, then it’s not something small, it’s important. Don’t brush your own feelings aside, just because others want you to. They are wrong. You’re angry, and it’s for a reason. You’re allowed to know what that reason is, even if those around you don’t listen to you. Know for yourself. You’re allowed to be angry.

Second, emotional regulation is difficult for autistics, and many of us experience emotions that are HUUUUUUGE, and very overwhelming, and it can cause an overload just like sensory overload can. And you are trying to take care of yourself, by getting away from the triggering thing that’s making you angry, and get into a calm place.

Being forced to continue to be in the environment that is overloading you can absolutely lead to a meltdown. A meltdown would be your body acting in a very strong way to get you out of that situation, such as dropping the dishes on the spot and running to your room, crying uncontrollably, screaming, covering your ears. It sounds to me like this situation would absolutely lead to that, and I am very, very sorry that your family is not respecting your emotional needs, and not listening to you about what is making you angry. If you figure out what it is, please come here and talk about it. I will listen. You will be heard.

2) If too much stress is piling up, normally with school projects, I tend to just stop caring about the outcome, which is normally very unlike me, and I can't concentrate on anything, (2/4)

and it sucks. Normally this lasts for a couple days to maybe a week and a half, two weeks at most? I can't find a reason to care, no matter what I thought before. Everything causing me stress seems slightly unreal and divorced from real life. Maybe the only exception during this is if I'm going to disappoint others, like in a group project.

This is autistic burnout. Your brain has been overloaded and completely fried. It can no longer handle even the tiniest of stress. The best thing to do is to avoid burnout if you can, by doing many self-care things before it happens. When you start to feel stressed, take a break. Fix your sensory input. Light a candle that has a good smell, making your smell input good. Put on your comfiest clothes, make your tactile input good. Do something fun. Get out of “sensory danger”, and out of stress. Relax the best you can.

Of course, that is not always possible. Sometimes life stresses at you harder than you can manage, and you burn out.

The solution is the same. Your brain needs to rest. It can no longer care about schoolwork, because it is running on complete fumes. So let it rest. Don’t force yourself to work in this circumstance. Read a book. Watch a movie you love. Go outside and enjoy some nature. Eat a food you love. Give your senses pleasant input, and give your brain something it doesn’t have to think hard about. Eat your samefoods. Listen to your samesongs, wear your sameclothes. When you are burned out, you need to be extra gentle with yourself so that you can recover.

If you try to push yourself to work, you will recover more slowly, and the burnout will last longer.

Also, is it an autism symptom to despise physical contact when upset, and it feels like there are bugs crawling on my skin if I touch people? Except (3/4)

for sometimes my older sister is fine for hugs.

Yes, this is classic autism. Touch is a sense, hugs are sensory input. Many autistics are touch-averse either all the time, with certain people, or in certain circumstances. I do not hug strangers. I don’t care how anyone around me will react; I do not want that person, who I do not know, touching my skin or leaving their smell on me. “Bugs crawling on my skin” is an excellent analogy for how it feels. This is autism, 100%. Allistics do not feel this way.

Having a “short list” of people you do want hugs from is also very common. I believe this ties into sensory input as well. A hug is more than just touch; it’s also smell, sound, sight. It’s 4 of the 5 senses (and if it involves kissing I guess taste could be in there too). It’s overwhelming, and it’s literally surrounding you. This is a LOT for a brain to process.

However, I know what my brother smells like. I know what he feels like. He’s not strange. He’s familiar. I don’t have to process, process, process when I sense him, because I know him. He’s a sameHuman (I just made that up). So hugs from him are ok.

I’m sure this isn’t the only reason many autistics are touch-averse, but I’m pretty sure it plays a factor. For example, I do not like hugs from my mom and I avoid them as much as I can, so in that case it has to be emotional, because she’s familiar.

Thanks for reading my (very long, jeez) rambles, I just find it to be helpful to get another opinion. (4/4)

Of course! That’s exactly what this blog is for, for all of us autistics to share each other’s experiences and learn from each other.

#meltdowns #overload #sensory overload #emotional overload #anger gaslighting #autistic burnout #touch aversion #sensory input #tactile sensory input #wow this ask covered a LOT of important topics!#actually autistic #actuallyautistic

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one-leaf-grimoire · 3 years

Text

"illusion"

Chapter 18

Synopsis: The source of the corruption within the Grey Deer is finally revealed. MC accidentally reveals a secret.

Warnings: None! This is the SFW version! However, you can find the NSFW version of the chapter at this link. It has a few changed lines and an added spicy moment...

LINK TO FULL WORK

"The spell that attacked Alice didn't come from the General. It came from Captain Hervey."

...

There's literally no way that any of this is real. I didn't just hear those words come out of Julius's mouth, I can't have.

Captain Hervey..?

...

"All those wishing to recruit this examinee, raise your hands!"

Before any of the other captains can raise their hands, the one in the middle has already done so. My eyes widened a bit when I realized who it was: A big, scary man with a scar through one of his icy eyes. Yet, the smile on his face is warm, almost fatherly. It's none other than Captain Hervey, the Captain of the Grey Deer, the current number one Magic Knights squad. Despite all the odds against me, my plans worked, and my magic was enough to impress even him. Several of the other captains raise their hands as well, but I've already made my choice.

"I...I choose the Grey Deer!!!"

My heart swells with pride as I say those words. The other captains clap politely as Hervey lowers his hand, his grin widening. He gives me a thumbs up, and I know I've made the right choice.

Or did I?

"Good work today, Kiddo!"

The way Hervey ruffles my hair reminds me of my father.

No. My father would have never done the things Hervey did.

"You and Alice need to stop getting into trouble. I'm putting you in different rooms this time!!"

"Nooo, please Captain! We promise we won't fool around any more!"

"I've made my decision."

Yes... like a father, he could be harsh sometimes, too. But there was nothing malicious about it.

You killed Alice... you killed her...

"I'm not going to sit here and let a hysterical woman convince me to start tearing it all down because you got drugged at a bar! Take her away and talk some sense into her, please-"

All this time... did he have a hand in this?

Did he kill Alice to scare me out of his squad?

Why...

The air around me is freezing cold. Frost bites at the branches above us. But hot tears start rolling down my cheeks, burning into my skin.

Why would you choose me, Captain... if you were just going to try and push me out?!

"So... Is Hervey the culprit? Is he the one behind all these attacks?"

Elger is the first to speak. He only glances at me, swallowing awkwardly before leveling the question at Julius.

"...It looks like it." Julius's face softens a bit as he looks down at me, his arm pulling me closer into his side in an attempt to comfort me. I still can't speak or move, staring straight ahead as my mind desperately tries to process the meaning of all this. "He definitely isn't alone, either... you said there were two people involved in the first attack, correct?"

Finally, I react, nodding my head. "Why... why would he-"

"I don't know. But it doesn't matter. We have some proof now," Julius reminds me, rubbing my shoulder. He has a pained look on his face. "That being said... we need to figure out who the others are as well, before it's too late."

Elger's eyes widen. "Julius, you're not suggesting that we-"

"We wait? Yes, I am." Julius shakes his head a little. "It's frustrating, I know... and dangerous as well. Hervey has essentially already killed someone on the squad, and he might be making a more drastic move soon. But he's not doing it all himself, and we have no way of knowing if he is actually the epicenter of all this. All the uncertainty around his accomplices needs to be put to rest as soon as possible... then we can report all of them at once and completely purge the squad of them."

...purge...

The longer Julius talks, the angrier his voice gets. His brow furrows, and his grip on me tightens until it is almost painful. I bite my tongue and stay silent, but my heart is pounding uncontrollably.

Julius... he's seen this type of thing before, hasn't he?

"A squad captain harming his own knights... turning other members against you... I don't care what the reason is. It's unforgivable."

For a moment, his rage flares up, despite the low, level tone of his voice. I can see it in his eyes, in his face, in every part of him.

Someone special was taken from him before... he won't let it happen to me.

"Julius..."

He snaps out of it and looks down at me as I gently pry at his grip with pleading eyes. "Oh! Sorry, sorry-" He quickly becomes gentle again, smiling down at me warmly. "I didn't mean to scare you... but you shouldn't be frightened. Both of us are going to be scouring the squad, I'm sure we'll figure it out soon enough." Elger nods, smiling at me for the first time today as his friend keeps speaking. "I won't let anyone hurt you again, okay?"

Slowly, I nod, drawing in a shaky breath. "Yeah... okay. Thank you. Thank you both."

There's not much to say after that. The three of us head back to the base. Elger branches off to go through a different entrance while Julius and I go through the back door by the kitchen. His hand stays in mine all the way until we step across the threshold. The entire world is still fuzzy, the shock of this new evidence slow to drain from my mind. I don't want to believe it, but at the same time, I know I have to move forward.

Julius is right... we'll purge the squad all at once. I'll get my revenge... and finally end this horror.

Someone calls my name as we walk through the dining room, and I turn to see Nigel, Wren, Malota, and Margery sitting there with drinks.

"I never got to congratulate you!" Nigel calls out, already red in the face from his beer. "Senior Magic Knight, huh? I was hoping to surpass you!"

"Oh... well..." I give him a strained smile. "You still have time. I'm not really that good."

"Nonsense!!!" Margery smirks. "You defeated a SHINING GENERAL!!! And all his men!! that's impressive, even I will admit!"

I feel my heart clench in my chest.

"Yeah... you kicked ass alright. How did you do it, though?"

Glassy, dead eyes-

"I never thought you were that strong... so how did you defeat them-"

"I didn't just defeat them."

My words are quiet when I finally speak again, but something in my tone makes Margery shut up immediately. She blinks, her eyesight coming into focus, and she sees the blank expression on my face.

"I... I killed them. I killed all of them at once."

Nigel gulps nervous. Malota watches silently. Wren stares at his drink, apparently in a drunken daze already.

"They tried to hurt me... and I killed them. People with lives... with families-"

"DADDY-"

The look of fear in the General's eyes as I made him hear his daughter scream. I have no doubt that he saw her die in my Fear Landscape.

"But that doesn't matter. They tried to hurt me, so I killed them. And I'll do it again."

My hands are shaking by my sides, the others watching in horror as tears streak down my cheeks.

Wren finally looks up, his eyes glassy. Yet, they rise to meet mine, devoid of all feeling as my passion reaches a fever pitch.

"I don't care who it is. I'll kill anyone who tries to hurt me."

...

Silence.

Margery stares at me, while Nigel glances at the others. Malota blinks slowly, swallowing once to give her only reaction. Wren groans and lets his forehead hit the table as he finally slips off to sleep.

Julius touches my shoulder.

"Come on."

His voice is soft and gentle. I sniff once, then nod before turning to be lead away.

Any of them... any of them could have known-

My eyes are stinging as more tears form, and I finally choke out a dry sob as I ascend the stairs to my room, Julius right behind me. Any of them could have known about what was going to happen to me and Alice... my comrades that I loved and trusted did NOTHING. Why... why would they betray me like this? After all these years...

None of it makes sense. Julius opens my door for me, and I grab his sleeve to pull him inside as well as I walk by. The door clicks shut behind us. Julius stands there, a little awkwardly, as I reach up and undo my robe and cape, kicking them both under the bed. With a tired sigh, I flop forward onto the mattress, feeling it creak below me. I hold my breath for a moment, my face buried in the blankets, and let my mind go blank for just one blissful moment.

God... why does everything have to be so complicated?

Just as I thought everything was going to be okay... just as I freed myself from one danger, another one rears its head.

At least I don't have to worry about Lawrence any more...

I feel the bed dip beside me, and an arm wrap around my middle. I let Julius turn me over and pull me into his embrace, and I finally inhale as my nose nestles against his neck.

He smells so good... like lavender... and vanilla...

His hand cards through the strands of my hair, as gently as he always does.

Gentle...

No one has ever been this gentle with me.

"It'll be okay... I promise."

Julius's soft voice murmurs against my head, his lips pressed into my scalp.

"I'll end this for good. I promise."

...

"Julius..." I finally speak, keeping my voice low. It hasn't escaped me that Elia and Cecelia's room is right next door. "You said that this has happened before... this same thing happened to someone special to you." I feel Julius tense up a little at the subject. "...what happened?"

"... His name was Zara Ideale. He was the very first commoner to join the Magic Knights. he wasn't just amazing..." Julius lets out a deep sigh. "...he was an inspiration. The entire world was out to get him, and he still smiled and did his best. I could never hope to be like him... he was special."

... ooh... I see... so he wasn't just a "friend." I can't help but think back to that cold, snowy new years eve, and Julius stared out into the darkness, pain and guilt tumbling in his gaze.

He was devastated.

"He was special. And they killed him for it."

I open my eyes, face-to-chest with Julius, and listen as his tone becomes icy again.

"His own squad killed him. The captain looked the other way. No remorse, no guilt..."

His hand suddenly tightens in my hair; not painfully, more... possessively.

"... Everyone is special, in their own way. But Zara... he was special to me. I don't know how I can still look at myself in the mirror. Why do we laud the position of Magic Knight when we use that power to hurt each other? So..."

Julius's grip loosens, but he pulls me even closer, his legs tangling with mine, as if he means to coil himself permanently to my body.

"I'll use this power to protect everyone. I'll protect you. I'll protect the whole Kingdom. I-...I'm going to become the Wizard King. This world will be one where everyone can be special... and we all work together instead of hurting each other."

...Wizard King?

For some reason, those words send a chill down my spine.

"...I know you can do it, Julius."

I shift a little, looking up at him. Julius's eyes widen as I lean up and press my lips against his chin lightly, the highest place I can reach in our position. "And I believe you... I feel safe with you. Thank you... for everything."

"No. Thank you." Julius lets out a nervous chuckle, something I didn't expect. "You know... you're the only person that I've told that too... I've had that plan in mind for a while now, but saying it out loud was a little scary. But now-" He grins, rolling over so he can kiss me properly now.

"- I feel like I could accomplish anything. Including becoming the Wizard King!"

.....

....

"What in the world is that supposed to be?!"

"Hmm?" I don't even have time to turn around as I brush my wet hair in front of the bathroom mirror. Someone grabs my shoulder. "Hey! What are you doing?" I twist my head a little to see that Margery is the one who's staring at something on the back of my neck. "Stop it!" I swat her hand away and quickly turn around, my back hidden now.

"Calm down- you just have something weird on your neck-" Margery says, looking annoyed but also sort of concerned. "Turn around, you might have some dirt or something."

"Dirt?" Elia pipes up, standing a few sinks away as she brushes her teeth. "You can't even take a bath correctly, huh?"

"Shut up-" I mumble, but begrudgingly turn back around. Her hand rubs vigorously at the spot, and I get a weird tingle down my spine. The spot is right where my neck and shoulder meet, and something about it is familiar-

Oh- SHIT-

"OOOOOO-" Margery realizes what it is the moment that I do. "You naughty bitch!!! You didn't tell me Lawrence came to visit!"

Once again, I swat her hand away and turn around, pressing my back against the tile wall. Everyone in the bathroom is staring at me now. Margery is smirking like the devil, and Elia has a shocked, perplexed look on her face. My own face is bright red, and I open and close my mouth a few times pathetically as I attempt to come up with an explanation. "I- uh-" How am I supposed to explain this?! Should I tell them that it's not Lawrence?? But then they might suspect that it's Julius now- AHHHH-

I want to curl up into a ball and scream, but both Margery and Elia are in my face, demanding answers.

"When was he here? You should have introduced him to the rest of us! He's always off somewhere with you when he visits-"

"Yeah, but we always see him when he arrives, just for a little while..." Elia says, narrowing her eyes. Uhoh- "Also... there's something that's been bothering me..."

"Oh... what?" Elia's question gives me a reason to dodge Margery's, but I soon realize that it is a big mistake.

Elia crosses her arms, her frown depending. "Your room is right next to me and Cecelia... it's been a week since you got back from the hospital. And every- EVERY night-" She points at me accusingly. "I wake up because I hear two voices talking in your room- and that can only mean one thing-"

Margery's eyes widen, her mouth falling open in a silent gasp. I gulp, panic starting to rise in my chest.

"-you're letting someone in there all night! Are you sneaking Lawrence in EVERY SINGLE NIGHT?"

"Uh- er-"

Elia's eyes flash, my unintelligible words being an admission of guilt to her ears. "AHA! So it's not Lawrence! Who is it, then?"

"N-Not Lawrence?!" Margery squeaks, still looking shocked, but her eyes are glinting from how juicy this new information is. "You're cheating on him?! Who is it, though? Someone on the squad?"

"Tell us!" Elia demands. "You owe us all an explain-"

"I don't owe you anything!"

I finally snap, unable to just sit there and be scrutinized. Elia immediately shuts up.

"I don't know how you don't realize this already- but none of it is any of your business!" I step away from the wall, and the others step back to give me space. "Yes, I've been having someone in my room... and yes, they foolishly gave me this hickey. But it's my private life, so it's private, okay?" I let out a sigh, my heart beating quickly with adrenaline. "So- just leave me alone! And for the record, Lawrence and I broke up when he visited me in the hospital. I'm not cheating on anyone."

That's all I have to say on the matter. With one last huff, I turn and run off, my hair only half brushed, and leave Margery and Elia behind.

"...yikes... they broke up?" Margery asks, the silence only broken by the dripping of the sink. "She doesn't seem too beat up about it..."

"No, not at all." Elia narrows her eyes, turning to look at her reflection in the mirror.

I have a feeling I know who it is... and if it is him... this has been going on for a lot longer. Since before she and Lawrence broke up... so...

An evil grin crossed her lips, for just a moment.

"You are going to be in so much trouble..."

UH OH! What is Elia planning... will her well-meaning actions lead to disaster? Find out next time!

#illusion #fic #julius novachrono #julius novachrono x reader #black clover

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miracul0us-multishipper · 5 years

Text

Welcome to the back (Part 5)

First Chapter Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Thank you so much for all your sweet feedback!

This chapter deals a little more with Lila’s manipulations and their first effects, and both Chat Noir And Felix make a move. With varying degrees of success.

Also, Felix would literally die for Maman Cheng’s Quiche.

- - -

Lila was fuming when she arrived at home.

“Who does he think he is?!”, she spit out between clenched teeth. “He had zero proof!”

And not only had her attempt to win Felix over failed, Hawkmoth hadn’t even sent an Akuma for her! That, or this goddamn beetle had caught it before it had reached her.

“What a dutiful little bug, aren’t you, Ladybug?”, she seethed on. “Always looking out for butterflies. Well, newsflash: you aren’t perfect! And as soon as you let one of them slip through, Volpina is going to kick your ass!”

That brought her thoughts to another pain in her butt and she threw her phone away in frustration. If it weren’t for that pigtailed goody two shoes, Felix would be writing poems of admiration for Lila by now. All these beautiful words, lost because that stupid Marinette couldn’t leave Felix alone. He was unreachable for her now!

Taking a deep breath, Lila tried to calm down.

Don’t do anything rash. We’ve come so far.

She still had Adrien wrapped around her finger. That boy was so eager to believe her, he threw all reason away for some pretty fairy tale. And as long as his father was with her, she had Adrien handled.

Still. Loosing her chance with Felix had... hurt her. She hadn’t realized she’d looked forward to their relationship that much.

Sighing she fell on her bed and grabbed her phone, going through his poems. She’d pictured how everything would go from the moment she’d looked through his bag. He would’ve been smitten with her writing, her poetry resonating with his. Once they were on their date at the Eiffel Tower, he wouldn’t have been able to deny how pretty she looked with the sunset illuminating her face, the wind in her hair... He would’ve intertwined his soft, slender fingers with hers and confessed how connected he felt to her. She would’ve blushed and told him to stop, but he would’ve written her a poem about his feelings for her and kissed her hand. Then they would’ve kissed, just as the sun disappeared and the lights at the tower went on. The rest of the evening, they would have talked about their shared affinity for words and tales, how they both could spin their audiences in webs of emotion and wonder - even though they used different mediums to accomplish that. He would’ve realized that they were the only ones that understood each other, that they were made for each other, that they were soulmates. How they were better than these silly children in their class.

She groaned and turned her phone off, not bearing to see his pretty poems now.

It was all Marinette’s fault! She’d stolen that future from her and Felix!

Lila froze.

Wait a second.

Since when did she give up that easily?! This was Marinette she was talking about! That girl didn’t have enough brain cells to walk properly! She was no opponent for her, Lila Rossi, the cunning Volpina! She was the Queen of Lies, the Master of Manipulation, Gaslighting and Illusions! If she wanted Felix, she’d get Felix!

With renewed determination, she got in front of her computer. She had some research to do!

“There you are, Chaton!” Ladybug greeted her partner. She was still smiling from her encounter with Felix, and determined that this patrol would go smoothly. Chat Noir replied with his usual smirk.

“If you don’t look energized today, My Lady! Happy to see me?”

She chuckled and landed next to him, on the rooftops next to the Seine.

“Come on, Kitty! This city doesn’t patrol itself, you know?”

“Actually, can we wait a few more minutes?” her partner asked with surprising seriousness. “I wanted to talk to you.”

She wanted to refuse - she still had to catch up on her missed history lesson, time was precious - but the pleading look in his big green eyes made her weak.

“Alright” she sighed. “But only shortly! What is it, Kitty?”

He hummed.

“You always call me these pet names. It’s so cute!”

“Chat. Focus.”

“Right! Uh, my dad is... the owner of a business, you know? Famous and renowned across France. He always has to look super professional, or his investors run over to his rivals.”

“Okay?” Ladybug tried to follow, unsure where this was supposed to go.

“You kind of remind me of him, sometimes! You’re both smart, and very serious about your work, and usually too busy.”

She didn’t know if he wanted to compliment or insult her.

“Anyway, my mom and I are very similar, he always says. She used to work for him, as a model. And when they fell in love, my dad was a bit worried a relationship with one of his coworkers might look unprofessional. ‘What would everyone say?’, and so on.”

“And then?”

He shrugged.

“Nothing. They got married and it worked out fine. No problems whatsoever.”

“Huh.”

Chat looked at her, obviously expecting something, so she added: “That’s... a very sweet story. Your parents sound very lucky.”

He beamed.

“Yeah! And luck is just our thing, right?”

“Uh, yes” she agreed carefully. What did they have to do with his parents. “But why are you telling me this?”

“I just wanted to let you know... I understand how important it is for you to look professional. And that I support you, always. You don’t have to worry.”

“Thanks?” She was positively confused now. “I don’t think anybody doubts our professionalism, but... that’s reassuring.”

“You’re welcome.”

He probably meant well, even though she didn’t understand what he was playing at. So when he closed his eyes and leaned in, her mind had yet to catch up. Only when he was actually pressing his lips on hers, it clicked.

She slapped him. Hard.

“Ow! What the-“

“Oh no, that’s my line, Chat! What the fuck?!”, she hissed out, wiping her mouth with her wrist. Chat looked up, his face shifting from shock to betrayal.

“I-I thought-“

“You thought what?! You can just kiss me out of the blue after I repeatedly told you I’m not in love with you?! What don’t you get about that?”

If he looked hurt, she didn’t care. She was tired of this, tired of his advances. For once in her life, she wanted him to listen and understand her!

“I- someone told me you were worried that-“

“Why are you so quick to listen to some bystander, but refuse to hear my very! Clear! Answer!”

“Your answer isn’t clear at all!”, Chat Noir yelled back, getting to his feet. “You say you don’t love me, but you’re acting like you do! You call me pet names, you flirt with me, you kiss me all the time! So either you enjoy leading me on, or you’re lying to both of us about your true feelings!”

“Aaaargh!”, she groaned in frustration, clasping her hands above her head, “You’re impossible!”

“No, I’m simply making my feelings very clear for you! We are partners, and we’re supposed to be honest with each other!”

She tore her hair. He was so stubborn, so obstinate that that he could do no wrong. She wanted to scream.

“Chat, I honestly don’t want you to kiss me.” she tried to keep it simple, lowering her voice to prevent herself from lashing out. But Chat certainly didn’t help at that.

“That’s okay! We can just hold hands, if you want to. Or go for Ice cream.”

“No! I don’t want any of that! Kwamis above!”

“Then what do you want?!

If she didn’t get out of here, she’d do something stupid. Slap him again, probably.

“Leave me alone, Chat.”, she pressed out, her voice breaking.

“What? We’re partners! You- We need each other!”

“I’ll handle patrol from now on.”, she ordered, leaving no room for discussion. “Until you can accept that I don’t reciprocate your feelings, we should only work together when necessary.”

She swallowed, throwing her yo-yo.

“Please, Chat.”

Then she was off, disappearing behind the buildings of Paris. Leaving a stunned, upset Cat behind. It took him a while before he could move, and even longer before he reached his home. Detransforming had never felt so draining to him.

“What the everloving Fluff were you thinking?” Plagg raged as soon as the ring set him free. Adrien groaned.

“Not now, Plagg. I really don’t feel up to this now.”

“You don’t feel up to this?” Plagg snarled incredulously. “I don’t feel up to this! I don’t feel up to anything! Ever! And even I can’t let you do something like this!”

“How should I have known she’d react like this?” the boy defended himself. “Lila said-“

“Volpina-Girl! You know she doesn’t like Ladybug! But somehow you thought her love advice is more credible than the answer Ladybug has been giving you for months!”

“But she’s Ladybug! And I’m her Black Cat! We’re completing each other.”

Plagg shook his head.

“Right now, you overgrown airhead, you are about to loose even the most platonic part of her feelings for you. It’s simple: that or nothing, Kiddo.”

Where Ladybug was lonelier than ever, Marinette was soaring high. After Alya apologized for not believing in her innocence regarding the poems, the others soon followed - much to Lila’s dismay. And the compulsive liar got even angrier after seeing how much closer Marinette and Felix were becoming. Marinette found that she didn’t care.

Felix was... odd. He spoke clear and directly, not caring if he sounded rude. He didn’t like warm temperatures, preferring to hide on the shady yard. He listened to classical music, but had beaten Marinette more than once at Freestyle Clash 2.

(“Rap is poetry as well!”, he had defended himself when she teased him about it.)

He also didn’t like crowds, or people in general. But whenever Marinette was chatting with her classmates, she found him listening attentively, even if his eyes were glued to his book. While he didn’t want to be actively involved, he wasn’t antisocial either.

And to be honest, she appreciated his silent company more than ever when her other friends became... overwhelming. Being around Felix was easy. His mere presence was calming, as if everything was in control.

“Girl, are you there? ‘Cause if I’m not losing my senses you’re staring at Mister Icecold instead of Sunshine Boy.”

Marinette blinked, pulled back into the real world. Alya was looking at her expectantly, eyebrows raised so high they almost vanished beneath her hair.

“I didn’t!”, Marinette insisted, but Alya rolled her eyes.

“Come on, you’ve been hanging out with him and him alone for the past week! What’s up with that?”

“Nothing! I just really like Felix, that’s all. You know I have a crush on Adrien.”

Alya’s eyes were scrutinizing but playful.

“Hm... If you say so?” She chuckled. “I should be glad. Frosty is kind of scaring me, actually. He’s so rude!”

Marinette huffed with arms akimbo.

“He’s just... honest! And hasn’t been around people much. He doesn’t mean to be rude, he just doesn’t want to lie for politeness’ sake either.”

“I don’t mean that. At least, not only that. He’s been glaring at Lila whenever she tries to speak with him.”

Marinette sighed. They’d talked this over at least a dozen times already, and while Marinette didn’t call Lila a Liar openly anymore, she did like to give hints. Which Alya successfully ignored.

“Just... let’s get to class. I don’t want to be late again.”

While Felix hated nothing more than talking during the lessons (“It’s disrespectful!”) he did communicate from time to time. Over the course of the week, they had developed an intricate language of stolen glances and discreet expressions that was comprehensible to them alone.

When Marinette fell into her seat next to him and replied “present” upon hearing her name from Mme Bustier, he gave her a concerned look from her to Alya.

Everything okay with you two?

Marinette shrugged and rolled her eyes.

Just the usual disagreement.

He huffed, concentrating on the lesson, but not without nudging her leg with his knee. His gesture for showing support.

“Before we continue with Napoleon, let me make an announcement.”, Mme Bustier caught her class’s attention. “Since you’ve all been so eager and hardworking during Monsieur Agreste’s bowler hat contest, I’ve been looking for another opportunity to let your creativity run free.”

She smiled at the front row.

“Since Lila has so generously helped me out, You now have the chance to participate in a competition called “Journalism Junior”, hosted by Alec Cataldi and Nadja Chamack.”

The class cheered and Alya high fived Lila, who smiled as Adrien patted her on the shoulder. A sharp pang in Marinette’s chest made her look away.

“If you want to enter the competition, you’ll have to create a report on something that greatly impacted you, until next Friday,” Mme Bustier continued. “It can be about your greatest inspirations or fears, a problem you want to draw attention to or something you want to support. Copying is as always,” a sharp glance at Chloé and Sabrina, “strictly forbidden! This is about an honest and genuine insight into Paris’ youth, so be true to yourselves!”

As soon as Mme Bustier finished, the class was alive with the buzz of excited students.

“Journalism! Not really my specialty, but sounds interesting.”, Marinette beamed at her gloomy neighbor. “I think I’ll do something about fashion! Or baking? Or media design?”

Felix only huffed and Marinette stilled.

“Is... everything okay?”

He blinked and straightened himself.

“Yes, of course. Journalism just isn’t my cup of tea.”

He leaned his head sideways.

“You should do something about fashion. You’re talking about it constantly, and I’ve seen your room. If something has an impact on you, it’s designing.”

“You’re right!”, she agreed, already thinking about what sketches she should work with. “Oh, will you do the report on your poems? No, wait, they’re personal. Your music then? I’ve heard you play the violin in the art room, it’s magical!”

Felix’ cheeks appeared a bit more saturated for a moment, almost as if he were blushing, but it disappeared when he shook his head.

“I won’t participate at all.”, he clarified sternly. “I’ve had enough people trying to peak into my life. But I’ll help you with yours. You’re horrible with deadlines.”

“True”, she grimaced. “But I don’t get why the behavior of other journalists should keep you from trying something out yourself!”

His fingers twitched, betraying that this was about something entirely else. A bit gentler she added: “Are you sure you don’t want to do something of your own? It’s different if other people try to drag your personal life into the limelight, or if you willingly share something on your own terms.”

“Hm...”, he murmured, before giving her one of his rare smiles. “You are exceptionally smart, Marinette. I appreciate your advice.”

She rolled her eyes. He could’ve as well written her a thank you letter, as formal as he was.

“Thanks. But don’t think I haven’t noticed you’re deflecting!”

She backed down anyway. Felix obviously didn’t want to share his thought process with her, but hopefully, he just needed some time.

Or maybe she was just misinterpreting his behavior and blowing things out of proportion. Wouldn’t be the first time for her.

Felix might not look the part, but he did think about what Marinette had said. She was right, of course. There was a difference between someone stealing his secrets, and himself sharing them. But to him it had always been technical at best, a mere incongruence in terminology.

Insisting on being involved in Mum’s company from an early age on had put him in the spotlight far more than he’d anticipated, then. When he took up modeling – the only way to help he was given, his mother didn’t want him to “waste his childhood with adults work” – he’d become a minor celebrity basically overnight. It hadn’t gotten better when he grew up.

He’d always felt like some sort of public property, a puppet for others to project onto, or a fancy building people went sightseeing for on weekends. More than once his mother had to hire security people to ensure he had some semblance of peace outside, without being bothered by fans or paparazzi. His father’s position and... attitude certainly hadn’t helped to give him some personal space. So, at one point... he’d simply stopped going amongst people. And he didn’t mind that!

But the week he’d spent with Marinette, or even Aurore and Marc, had made him realize that while he could be on his own... he didn’t want to, anymore. Not always at least. They were so... generous with everything, sharing help or stories or simply their company with him. Especially Marinette, without ever expecting anything in return.

He wanted to return something, though. Anything to let her know he appreciated her. To make her smile the way she drew out his own.

So when school was over, he waited for her to pack up her things and get ready to go.

“You wouldn’t happen to be free this afternoon?”, he asked quietly. There where a few other students left in the room, Rossi and Agreste among them, and while he’d never concern himself enough with them to whisper, he wouldn’t push his luck either. This afternoon should go as smoothly as possible.

Marinette smiled and nodded.

“Sure! Want to come over for lunch again? Maman made Quiche.”

He saw Adrien perk up four rows further, and Felix himself found his determination waver. The Dupain-Cheng Quiche was a work of high culinary art, as he’d learned the last time he’d visited Marinette. But no! He had to stay strong! This was for Marinette!

“Actually, I’d hoped you came back home with me for lunch.”

He fidgeted a little, which was odd for him since it usually annoyed him on other people.

“It’s as you said, I should try to share things willingly, on my own terms, and you... make me feel like it can’t be that hard.”

Her smile was replaced by a look of surprise and he mentally kicked himself.

“You don’t have to! It was just an idea, but it doesn’t have to be today. Or ever.”

Why would she want to have lunch with him if her parents were already culinary deities? His mere invitation after tasting their creations was an affront to their craft.

To his relief, however, Marinette didn’t seem to mind his proposal.

“I’d love to come over! I’ll just have to call my parents before.”

She gave him one of her playful smirks that usually came before reading him.

“You actually listened to me? I’m impressed!”

His slight pang of disappointment that he wouldn’t get his beloved Quiche today was drowned out by his happiness to enjoy her company a bit longer. When she turned away to call her parents, he realized he should probably give his mother a heads up as well. He sighed. Mum would be over the moon once she heard he was bringing a friend over.

What had he done?

Lila was prepared. She was cool. She was completely fine with Felix asking the walking mess named Marinette out for lunch. And the pen she’d snapped would’ve broken anyway, she was sure.

Not that it mattered. Pigtails could revel in his attention all day, for all she cared. It wouldn’t last.

“Madame Bustier?”, she called the teacher as soon as the other students were gone.

“Lila! Is something the matter?”, the woman asked her new official favorite student. “I hope you didn’t mind that I thanked you in front of the class. I didn’t want to put you in the spotlights so unprompted, but you were a great help and that should be acknowledged.”

Lila smiled modestly.

“Oh, I don’t mind. I just like to help out.”

Herself, first and foremost. The contest was merely a puzzle piece in her scheme.

“Speaking of that,” she continued, “I wanted to ask for a small favor, if it’s no problem.”

“Of course, Lila. What is it?”

“It’s Marinette.” she began, putting on a sheepish face. “We didn’t have the best start, and her behavior last week when I proposed to change the seating again... I think she still holds some sort of grudge against me.”

She paused for a moment, to let the hint settle before she continued.

“I wanted to help her out a bit, so we can become friends! She’s always so busy as class rep, and I fear that the contest might add some weight to her load.”

“That’s so sweet of you! What were you thinking about?”

She had Bustier wrapped around her finger, now.

“Well, I obviously can’t help her with her report.” she mused out loud. “I don’t want to influence her in any way, so she doesn’t get disqualified for copying something by accident. So I hoped I could help her with her class rep duties! Usually, Alya does that, but she’s so passionate about her report and I don’t want to distract her.”

“Very considerate!”, she praised. “What duties would you like to take over for now?”

Now came the important part.

“Oh, Kim has been sick for a while now.” she reminded her. “I wanted to bring him some of the work we did, and inform him about the contest. And the swimming team asked Marinette to bring him the bag he forgot last time. Would it be alright if you gave me his address?”

She seemed to think for a moment before searching for a list in her bag.

“Usually, I’m not allowed to give out personal information.”, the teacher confessed. “But I think in this case, we can call it an exception, don’t we?”

“Of course”, Lila agreed dutifully as she skimmed the list Bustier held out to her. LeChien, Kim... there. And directly above: Leanne, Felix. Smiling, she typed the address into her phone. Felix’ address, of course. Max was already bringing Kim his homework, and the forgotten bag was a lie.

“Thank you so much, Madame!”, Lila said genuinely when she put her phone away and walked towards the door. “Oh, one last thing! Would you maybe... not tell Marinette I asked for this? I want to surprise her.”

“Don’t worry!”, Bustier said cluelessly. “I‘ll forget you asked me for anything.”

“You are the best, Madame! Good bye!”

She didn’t her her teacher’s reply, she was already out of the door. Her phone was on and she pulled up the pictures she’d taken of Felix’ calendar.

He was meticulous when it came to organizing his day, and she was more than grateful for it. He would be home by now, and lunch with his mother would last until 15 o’clock. He’d made a note not to disturb her from 15 to 16 o’clock, since Madame Leanne was in a meeting. From 16 to 18 o’clock, he’d be busy with his violin lessons.

Perfect.

But before her plan could be set in motion, she had another little tale to spin.

“Nino!”, she called when Adrien’s best friend came into her sight. “Wait for me!”

He was alone when she reached him. This was almost too easy.

“Wow, everything alright, dudette?” Nino asked, concerned that she’d hurried so much to catch up to him. “You look kinda rushed.”

She smiled and waved it off.

“I’ll be meeting Jagged Stone soon, and I don’t want to be late. I showed him your latest tape by the way, and he was really impressed.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah! But I really have to hurry now. Could you maybe tell Adrien from me that he doesn’t need to worry. You know, because of the Marinette thing.”

Nino frowned.

“Wait a sec. Marinette thing? Is she or Adrien in trouble?”

Surprised Lila put her hand over her mouth.

“Oh no, he didn’t tell you? Oh, I messed up! I’m so sorry!”

“What did you mess up? C’mon, I’m not telling anyone.”

She looked from side to side, as if worried others might overhear.

“I’m sure he meant to tell you.” she started secretively. “It’s just that... he’s been worried about Marinette. He thought she acted so weirdly over my proposal that Felix should sit with us in the front, that maybe she doesn’t like him. He thinks Marinette is ignoring, or outright bullying Felix.”

“What? I mean, that dude is giving me the creeps, but Marinette is super close with him.”

She forced a smile.

“You’re right, I noticed that too! But, you know, Adrien has been isolated so long... he just doesn’t know how to read the atmosphere, you know?”

“Yeah, he’s kinda oblivious.”

“I just wanted him to stop worrying so much. He was really concerned when he thought Felix and Marinette might not get along.”

Nino gave her a thumbs up.

“Don’t worry about him, I’ll soothe his nerves. You go meet Jagged Stone!”

“Thank you so much!”, she said, and meant every word. He was really useful, even though he made her cringe. “Oh, but maybe don’t tell him you heard this from me. He didn’t tell anyone else, and I don’t want him to think he can’t trust me.”

“Sure thing, dudette!”

“Bye-bye, then! And thank you!”

Lila smiled as she ran off. Everything was fitting perfectly together. The best tool to keep Marinette away from Felix was her crush on Adrien. The best way to use her crush was his dislike of Felix, and his assumption he knew what was best for his friends. The closer he thought them to be, the more he’d try to spread his animosity towards Felix onto Marinette, who’d do everything to please him.

Now Lila only had to wait.

- - -

I’m happy over every reblog, Part 5 is on its way. Here’s the tag list:

@crazycookie13o @a-6-yearold-inside @sinfulfoxbeast @kuroko26 @sternsneeze @zeyheartstaylor @elliecake5 @kristycocopop @yamadochie @sofmimis @enigmaticagitator @offically-over-it @earth-demon @juhavs @omgelisahagemanuniverse @owllover132 @kaydenth3gayden @janaikam @mewwitch

#miramu writes #wttb #welcome to the back #felinette fanfic #ml felix #miraculous ladybug #mlb #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ml salt #ml spite #felix month

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controloffandoms · 5 years

Text

Cold Hearted (P.P./S.M.)

Prompt: More Banner!Reader for @san-penedo

Pairing: Peter Parker x Banner!Reader

Words: 2448

Warnings: Cursing (possibly), Bitchy MJ, emotions, insecure(ish) reader, mentions of HYDRA and things to do with HYDRA

Notes: MJ is a bitch in this, sorry! Possibility for a part 2.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Feelings are overrated. What’s the point of having feelings just for things to go sideways and end up hurting you in the end? It’s not enough that you constantly put yourself down, but now others can do the same? You’ve never regretted leaving HYDRA until this moment. Seeing him happy with someone who wasn’t you.

A little backstory is needed for everyone to understand. Eighteen years ago, HYDRA acquired Hulk’s DNA. They wanted someone who was just as strong as The Hulk. They were sure with a weapon like that on their side, they could take over the world. They thought HYDRA’s rule would be unending.

Fast forward seven years. They finally were able to clone the DNA enough to make a person with all of Hulk’s strengths. They were able to apply Bruce Banner’s intellect through the DNA as well without the need of an alter ego. You looked human, but you were as strong and possibly even stronger than The Hulk. You were a clone with half Hulk DNA and half human DNA.

A couple of years later and you were being sent out on regular missions. Your cloned body was that of a seventeen year old. You were able to blend in with most populations. The mission that you were on at the time had been with the Winter Soldier. Things had somehow gone sideways and you ended up on a helicarrier with The Winter Soldier and Captain America.

Long story short, seeing that there was no way for you to win, you abandoned the helicarrier with the information you had been sent to get. You didn’t see The Winter Soldier after that until two years later when you had been sent out for more information on ‘The Avengers’. You were also tasked with bringing the Winter Soldier back to HYDRA.

You’d let most of those gathered duke it out and waited for the man to be mostly alone. You knew he recognized you the second he stood up from the wall he’d crumbled into. He’d called out to you as a friend, “Paragon Soldier, you don’t have to follow their orders. There’s a whole other part of the world you haven’t gotten to see.” You hadn’t listened to him. Eventually it had been you against The Winter Soldier and Captain America, the others melting into the background.

Needless to say, you had failed part of that mission. You hadn’t gotten The Winter Soldier back. You superiors were furious. You had been severely punished and by the time you were ready to be released for another mission, your mission was to protect the HYDRA base you were at.

The Avengers and friends had raided the facility and you were in charge of making sure that you gave the HYDRA Agents enough time to destroy all of their files before the Avengers completely overran them. You immediately saw The Winter Soldier amongst them and knew that it had been time to redeem yourself.

You’d fought the hardest you’d ever fought. You’d broken apart their team one by one until it was you against six: Winter Soldier, Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Spiderman, and Scarlet Witch. The whole time, The Winter Soldier had been trying to get through to you. It didn’t take long for you to best The Hulk and Iron Man, but you’d neglected Scarlet Witch who was able to make you go unconscious.

That had been seven years ago. You’d learned a while later that the reason The Avengers stormed the base was because Bucky wanted to free you. Soon after, the war with Thanos began. Bucky and a few others you’d come to trust had been dusted with The Snap, but five years after that, everyone was back and you beat Thanos. In that time you had grown closer to the person who’s DNA you possessed.

Fast forward to the present and everything was working itself out. You were still learning how everything worked in this new, non-HYDRA world. You had ‘friends’, that you still weren’t sure what friends did. You had your Biological Donor who helped you with things you didn’t understand. You had Bucky who understood how hard it was to integrate into something you didn’t understand...you had a ‘family’, which you still don’t understand.

Getting back to the problem at hand, feelings. Before you had been taken from HYDRA, you never had these pesky emotions. You’d learned more about them from those around you, but you had never really felt the ‘sadder’ emotions before. You liked to separate the emotions into two categories: The ‘Feel Good’ emotions and The ‘Blah’ emotions.

Currently you were in the middle of what you assumed were the ‘Blah’ emotions. Just watching how he smiled around her and leaned into her...it made you angry. It made you angrier than you’d ever felt before. It also made you feel like crying in your room...you think this is the ‘sad’ or ‘upset’ emotion Bucky had told you about.

“You alright, (Y/N),” Bucky was in front of you. You hadn’t noticed him.

“I do not-I do not understand...what I am...feeling,” you ground out, eyes momentarily going to Peter Parker again.

Bucky glanced in the direction you had looked, his face showing he knew exactly what you were feeling. “Why don’t we go talk about it somewhere else?” You followed him to your room, taking a seat on the bed. He closed the door, taking a seat at your desk. “Explain everything you’re feeling.”

“I am...angry, for certain. I do not completely understand why. I saw Peter Parker with MJ Watson and I felt angry. I also felt...what is the word I’m looking for?” You paused, thinking about the scene you’d just left. “Down? Upset that he was happier with her than he ever is around me? Sad that I am not the person that puts such a smile on his face?” You shook your head. “I am angry at Peter. I am angry at MJ. But I do not understand why. I do not have reason to be angry.”

Bucky knelt in front of you, a small smile on his face. “I think what you’re experiencing is jealousy. It’s when you see someone that you like with someone else. You tend to feel angry at both parties and also down in the dumps wondering why you’re not good enough for them. You care greatly for Peter and to see him with someone who isn’t you is causing you to feel this way.”

“I ‘like’ more people than just Peter Parker. I do not get ‘jealous’ seeing you hanging out with other people or Bruce Banner.” Emotions were confusing. You liked it better when you didn’t have any.

Bucky placed a hand on the back of his neck. He didn’t think he’d end up having this conversation with you...he wasn’t exactly sure how to go about it. “Uh...I haven’t really felt this myself so I can’t answer your questions. Tell you what, I’ll call Pepper, she’d be better at explaining this than I would.”

“While I am awaiting Pepper, I assume I am not allowed to hurt Peter’s ‘friend’ MJ?”

Bucky’s eyebrow rose in question. “That’s not a part of your life anymore. No hurting MJ.”

________________

After a long conversation with Pepper, you were beginning to understand more about the feeling jealousy and ‘liking someone’. You didn’t understand why you had these feelings, but at least it made more sense.

As dinner was called, you got up leisurely, still in deep thought. You had questioned Pepper a lot during your conversation, wanting to know everything you could about the emotions you had. You didn’t like not having the information. You felt like a failure when you didn’t have all the information.

You only began to pay attention when you accidentally ran into someone, which was unlike you. You were an assassin for almost five years, you were able to deflect any impact literally seconds before it happened. Your eyes snapped to the intrusion that you’d hit, mouth going into a straight line at seeing MJ. “Get your mind out of the clouds before you hurt somebody,” she rolled her eyes.

You rose your eyebrows. You were trying to be civil for Peter’s sake. If he ‘liked’ MJ, you wanted him to be happy. “You have eyes yourself,” you snapped, “you could have avoided me just as easily as I could have.”

Walking into the kitchen, you saw Bucky and Bruce already at the table. Sam Wilson would be joining you as soon as he got out of his suit. If anyone else was in the compound they would probably come by to get a plate as well. Bucky and Bruce were looking between you and MJ. Bucky must have filled Bruce in on what happened earlier and the talk he had with you. Peter was also looking between the both of you, a confused look on his face.

You grabbed a plate after Peter and MJ had done so. You wanted the rest of the dinner to go smoothly...you wouldn’t be able to vanish to your room without eating the dinner if you didn’t want any questions asked. “Honestly, Peter. I don’t understand why they even let the clone stay here. She’s a danger to everyone. She’s stronger than The Hulk.”

Your grip on the plate tightened, you could hear the ceramic straining under your grip, so you loosened it slightly. It would do you no good to be questioned about why you broke a plate. You quickly scooped a small amount of food on your plate so that you could finish it quickly and get away from MJ before you decided to go back on your ‘no kill’ deal with Bucky.

Sam Wilson had joined you, you didn’t realize until he sat in the chair beside you, across from Peter. You hadn’t even realized you’d sat in front of the woman. You were too lost in thought. Did Peter just let her bash you? After all the work you’ve put in to undo the things you did for HYDRA?

You said nothing to anyone at the table as they all started with some small talk. Sam was telling Bruce and Bucky about the mission he’d just completed. Peter and MJ were listening and commenting on it. Bucky was watching you closely, which you understood. MJ was getting on your nerves and sometimes you reacted badly when someone got on your nerves.

Her laugh has to be the most obnoxious thing about her. It was so fake...why couldn’t Peter see that? As you finished your ‘meal’ and planned to get up and not have to deal with MJ anymore, she looked straight at you. “You’re awfully quiet, (Y/N)...Cat got your tongue?”

Your eyes narrowed at her and you bit the inside of your cheeks to keep from saying something that you would enjoy but knew would alienate you from Peter. “Not really in the mood to socialize tonight.”

The grip you had on your plate was once again getting to be too tight. “Right. You never really socialize do you?” Your grip continued to tighten. You knew you should walk away, but you wanted to hear what she’d say. Would she insult you with everyone at the table listening? “Is that because you don’t know how or you can’t because your DNA was wired in a way to make you a cold hearted killed?”

You clenched your jaw, grinding your teeth in the process. The plate shattered in your hand, but you didn’t pay attention to it. You stood from the table, not bothering with the mess. As you walked away, you couldn’t bite back your comment. “If I were a cold hearted killer, I would have killed you by now.”

____________________

You spent the next week only leaving your room between midnight and six a.m. You didn’t want to see Peter and MJ. You didn’t want to see Bucky or Bruce or Sam. Usually, you left by three a.m. and spent the day out in the city. You’d come back around midnight, sleep a couple of hours and leave again.

You didn’t want to see Peter’s disappointed look directed at you for what you’d said to MJ. While MJ was in the wrong to start with, Peter would never see it that way. He’d only see you for the last comment you made to his ‘friend’. By now, she probably played the ‘she threatened me’ card to Peter enough that he hated you.

It was all so frustrating. These ‘feelings’ you had for Peter only complicated things. A couple months prior, you didn’t have any problem ignoring MJ when she was here and talking to Peter when she was gone. You had an easy going ‘friendship’ with the wall crawler.

What hurt the most was that Peter let her say those things about you. Peter let MJ call you a cold hearted killer, a cold blooded killer, a dangerous clone, et cetera. Peter never did anything to defend you when she did to your face so you had no hope that he did in private.

You worked your ass off to get past the training that HYDRA had given you. You proved yourself time and time again that you weren’t a heartless killer. You didn’t kill anymore. You barely used your superstrength in battles. You never used it in training unless it was just you and Bruce. You don’t intentionally hurt people...so why did MJ think of you as a dangerous, heartless killer? Did Peter tell her about your past and none of your strides to be a better person.

You chuckled lightly. You weren’t a person. You were just a clone. You would never be ‘a regular person’, no matter how much atonement you did. It was all pointless. Why do you even waste your time trying?

Maybe time away would be the best. You picked up your notepad, writing a short note to Bruce and Bucky.

I need some time away from things. I promise to keep our deal, Bucky. I just can not stay here right now. I am going crazy. I need to find myself. -(Y/N)

You placed the notepad on your bed. You took out a duffle bag and packed a few changes of clothes along with your sketch pad. You took a look around the room, it was going to be a while before you came back. You hoped they would honor your need for space.

Turning around and climbing out the window, you didn’t look back. Time away, that’s all you needed.

Forever Tags

@miraclesoflove @way-ward-whale @san-penedo @gracearchives @avengersss-assembleee @nocturnalherb16

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fangirltrash18 · 5 years

Text

Nothing Lasts Forever (g.d)

A/N- Hola mis amigos! Welcome to my second Grayson fic! I am so excited to write this I literally have jitters haha. I have been sitting around with this idea for like a week and I can’t wait to share it! Hope you all enjoy!

Warnings- angst, angst, ANGST (also drinking)

Summary- Being best friends with one of the biggest YouTube stars (as well as one of the worlds most eligible bachelors) isn’t as easy as it may seem, especially when you’re secretly in love with them. Through thick and thin you’ve been there for Grayson, but what happens when he falls in love with someone who’s not you?

Italics=flashback Normal=present

Have you ever loved someone so much that you would do anything in the world just so they can be happy? Well I have, and it kinda sucks.

Ok, ok let me give you some context so I don’t sound like a complete selfish bitch.

Grayson Dolan is my best friend. Yes, the Grayson Dolan. You may know him. Him and his twin, Ethan, are kind of a big deal around YouTube. Anyway, we’ve been glued to the hip since pre school and have grown up together. I got to witness first hand his ride to fame and all his triumphs, on and off the internet. I also witnessed his mental struggles the fame brought, the death of his beloved father, among other things that brought him down.

Just as I was there for him, he was there for me. Through all my highs and lows, he was right beside me to guide me and be my voice of reason.

The thing with friendships and people is, they grow and become richer with time. They blossom into something so beautiful and amazing that nothing can ever ruin them.

Or so it feels like.

It’s funny how within such a small amount of time, you can go from having everything, to nothing. Almost like you’re entire past, present, and future is pulled right out from under you, leaving you with that deep feeling of emptiness.

That’s how I feel now as I lay on my couch, reminiscing about “the good old days”.

My vision is blurry from the hours worth of tears and my nose is so raw from all the tissues, it hurts to sniffle.

It was hard to believe that only hours ago I was as happy as could be.

“Grayson s-sto-stop!” I laughed and tried to wiggle away from his deadly tickles.

“What’s the magic word?” He asked and continued his harmless assault. I tried several times to get the simple ‘please’ to come out of my mouth but only loud laughs escaped instead.

“G-gray-grayson p-please!”I cried. The moment that word left my mouth the tickle attack stopped. I laid sprawled halfway on the couch while I caught my breathe. Grayson just stared and laughed at my distressed state. “You are an asshole, I hope you know.” I said, only halfway joking.

“Aw, you know you love me.” He smiled and ruffled my hair. Giggling, I swatted his hand away and stuck my tongue out. It was true, I loved him. But not in the way I was supposed to.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” I mumbled and slid onto the floor next to him. He laughed and nudged my shoulder. “So what do you wanna do tonight?” I asked. He hummed as he thought.

“I don’t know. You want to go see a movie? Or we could just go get sushi.” He suggested.

“Mmm sushi sounds so good.” I moaned.

“Okay perfect, sushi it is!” He exclaimed and jumped up. He lowered his arms and helped pull me up from the floor.

“Cool. I’m going to go home and change. Meet there in like an hour?”

“Sounds good to me.” He shrugged and walked me to the door. I waved goodbye and hopped into my car. Tonight was going to be a good night, I could feel it.

I was finally going to do it. I was going to tell him I loved him.

But it wasn’t a good night. Not at all. All plans I had of enjoying a night out with my best friend and confessing my biggest secret were crushed with a single phone call.

I was ruffling through my closet when I heard my phone ring across the room. I stopped fussing with the clothes and went to see who was calling. It was Grayson.

I immediately picked it up and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N/N, um I’m sorry to do this but I have to cancel our sushi plans.”

“Oh no, what’s going on?” I couldn’t help the ache in my chest hearing him cancel.

“Well I sorta forgot that I promised E I would hang out with him tonight and help him edit since he’s behind before I made plans, and now he’s on my ass.” He sounded distant which was weird, almost as if he was hiding something. But I ignored it and took him for his word. Stupid mistake.

“Oh, okay don’t worry about it. We can just do it another night.” I said and sat down on the corner of my bed.

“Again, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine Gray, don’t stress about it.” I said trying to not sound disappointed.

“Thanks Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, his voice hopeful.

“Of course.”

“Okay cool, bye Y/N.”

“Bye Gray.”

The line went dead and I sat the phone down beside me. I felt a little upset that I wouldn’t be seeing Grayson that night but I understood why he couldn’t come.

Sighing, I got up from the bed and grabbed a casual dress from the floor where I had thrown it. I slipped it on and put on a little makeup. Just because Grayson couldn’t come, didn’t mean that I couldn’t still go get sushi.

By the time I had finished getting ready and driving to the restaurant I was starving.

I felt a little odd sitting alone but in a way it was kind of nice. I didn’t have to worry about what to say next or anything. It was cool just being on a date with myself. I ate in peace and occasionally scrolled through Instagram, just enjoying my time.

I wasn’t until I heard a familiar voice from the table beside me that I felt uneasy.

“I’ll take a water, what do you want babe?” It was unmistakably Grayson’s voice. I turned my head to see him sitting with a gorgeous woman who definitely wasn’t Ethan. I felt my chest tighten and my stomach drop.

He lied to me. He canceled on our plans to take another girl out.

I grabbed my purse and threw a $50 bill on the table, knowing that that would cover it and leave a handsome tip. I stood up slowly and began walking to the door as casually as possible.

I kept my head down and my strides long and somewhat quick. Thankfully I got to the entrance without notice. I turned to look at him and his date but caught his eye instead. His face paled and his shoulders tended. I just looked at him and shrugged, not really knowing what else to do, before I opened the door and left.

As soon as I was outside I couldn’t help the tears that came. I covered my mouth, trying to quiet the sobs that jolted my body.

“Y/N!” Grayson’s voice called from behind me. Instead of acknowledging him I just sped up. I could tell he was running to catch up which only made me speed up my pace. “Y/N, wait please.” I felt his hand grab onto my shirt to stop me.

Anger boiled in veins and what happened next shocked both of us.

“Grayson just stop!” I yelled and pulled away from him. “You lied to me! Why couldn’t you have just told me the truth and saved me a little less heartbreak?” Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I waited for him to answer.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He whispered. I scoffed and shook my head.

“Bull shit Grayson. You should have just told me the truth. You didn’t want to hang out tonight because you had a date. I get it Gray, you got other priorities, that’s fine. You just shouldn’t have lied to me about them.” His eyes held so much guilt it made my heart ache for him, but at the same time it made me even angrier. “And you wanna know something?” I asked, wanting to finally free myself of all my pent up emotions. He looked at me almost as if he knew what I was about to say. “I was going to tell you I loved you tonight.” I whispered, the anger giving way to more sadness.

“Y/N... I cant. I’m in love with someone else.” I looked away from him and tried to stop the tears. “But you’re my best friend Y/N and I-”

“Gray please, don’t do that.” I said and sniffled. He sighed and took a step closer. He wrapped me in his arms and hugged me close. But it wasn’t the kind of hug I wanted. It was an ‘I’m sorry for you’ hug. One that told me everything I needed to know. I was and always would be considered just a friend.

I forced myself away from his embrace and lightly pushed him away.

“I’m going to go Gray.” I whispered, knowing that after I left nothing was going to be the same between us again.

“Okay.” He said and looked down at my pathetic state.

“Have fun.” I turned around and walked off with the knowing that I just lost my best friend.

Now I’m here, on my couch polishing off a bottle of cheap vodka, tear stained cheeks and tissues littering the floor. I know I over reacted and I hate myself for being so stupid. I screwed up the best thing in my life and there’s no way I’ll be able to get that back. Not with the way I acted. More sobs leave my mouth as I pondered on the thought.

My phone buzzes next to me on the coffee table. I know it’s Grayson calling for the millionth time so I don’t even bother to look at it. I can’t talk to him tonight. Especially with how much alcohol I’ve had over the past few hours.

It’s a bad habit I’ve always had, drinking to numb the pain. Grayson was always there to help curve the urge and break the habit. But now he’s the reason I’m shit faced.

I know I shouldn’t be mad, but I am. I’m a mad, jealous mess and there’s nothing I can do about it. Sure I could bottle it all up and go apologize, but I’d still have to endure seeing him be happy with the girl he loved.

I should have seen thins coming, should have expected it. But I was too wrapped up in my own fantasy that I was blind to notice my best friend fall for someone else. I was blind to all the times he would check his phone when I was around him. I was blind to how he would want to do things less and less. Blind to how “busy” he’d gotten.

Like I said, people grow and sometimes not in the way you want them to. Grayson grew away from me and I didn’t even notice until it was too late.

Now, it’s time for me to grow. To confirm to the change that had taken over my life. Nothing lasts forever, it’s all just temporary; experiences to learn from and memories to cherish.

#grayson dolan imagine #ethan dolan imagine #dolan twins #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #grayson dolan fanfic #ethan dolan fanfic #dolan twins fanfic #angst #dolan tuesday

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xjamlessparkx · 5 years

Text

divorce | myg | 13

summary: in which you have to go through a painful process of your own family shattering

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: angst

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 |12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

“What are you doing?” You heard you mom approaching you. She put the glass of coffee next to the laptop on the table while she bends down slightly. You were scrolling through the page as you felt her narrowing her eyes next to your face.

“What does that mean?” She asked, pointing at the screen. You stopped and turned your head to her.

“I think it’s the best if I and the children move out and start newly.” You clarified and put on a weak smile.

It’s been already a week since the last time you saw Yoongi and had the serious conversation with him. After that, you deeply rethought about your life decisions and the way you acted through this whole process. Sometimes you could really act like a freaking idiot but other times it was him being the douchebag.

You searched for a new job, this time everywhere since you considered about moving your house. You didn’t want to get reminded about Yoongi anymore. First, the house and then a good job if possible. You looked for apartments with a low rent monthly which was pretty hard to doubt you still kept searching every day and every night.

“You will move out?” She asked calmly, pointing at the monitor. You nodded as she turned her face to you again.

Suddenly, she hit the table with her palm, making you wince in your place as some of the liquid dropped out of the glass.

“Are out of your mind? You start talking nonsense. You, you don’t even have a proper job and you start searching for a new home?! Who will pay the rent? The electricity? Your children have their needs and so do you! You can’t get your life together if you think that way!” she yelled, furrowing her eyebrow. You cleared your throat and stepped back.

“Mom… it’s not that I haven’t thought about all of this-” she cut you off, fidgeting with her fingers in front of your face.

“Cleary, you’re using your mind irrationally. Stop that nonsense now and come back to your senses!” She took a deep breath and shut her eyes, massaging her temple. You stood up and examined her face, trying to distinguish her expressions.

“Mom” you heard a thin and feminine voice calling out for you. You turned around to face your little daughter, “are we really moving?” she asked out of blue.

Your eyes widened as you gave your mother a narrowing gaze. If she hadn’t yell then your daughter wouldn’t hear the two of you. You shook your head as you went up to her, “No, no, no- we aren’t” you kneeled down on her level and cupped her cheeks, “Well, not now. Mommy is just looking for a better home for us-” Ahran furrowed her eyebrows and pouted slightly.

“No mom, I don’t wanna move out of here. This is our home.” You licked your lips as you sighed and slid your hair behind your ear.

“Look sweety, this will be much better for all of us-”

“No! If we move out, we won’t be able to see dad frequently anymore…” she pouted and you sighed again.

“Look, I haven’t even found a new home and for now-” you were cut off by the doorbell ringing non-stop and someone hitting the door loudly. Your eyes widened as you turned around to your mother. “Mom, take the kids,”, taking Ahran’s hands in yours your guided her to your mother and she stood up, leaving you to go and get Junsun. The rude person behind the door didn’t stop to bang on the door.

As soon as you opened the door you were met by two pairs of eyes, looking furiously at yours. Yuna. As if the problems who had to deal with weren’t enough, you just had to endure her. It was a nice and chill Sunday until she had to butt in.

“Where is Yoongi?” Just as she wanted to come in your put your arms on the doorframe, preventing her from coming in.

“Who are you to disturb my peace? Plus trying to enter my home without my permission-” You had your hands firmly on the frames as you narrowed your eyes and stared into her eyes which were really red and puffy as if she cried.

“I know that he is in here! Let me in!” She suddenly started yelling and tried to push past you while you stopped her, closing the door shut. She started hitting the door even louder which made you sigh deeply and extremely annoyed with her.

Your hand reached the doorknob and you pulled it forcefully, making her stumble forward. She cleared her throat.

“Listen Yuna,” you started, crossing your arms over your chest as you started into her eyes, “Min Yoongi isn’t here and if you don’t stop bothering me I will surely think about calling the cops for disturbing my peace in my home!” You snapped, making her wince in shock.

“Don’t act innocent Y/N! You know the reason of my presence-” you cut her off, clearly annoyed about her voice and the way she assumed that her way of thinking was right.

“I have no idea why you’re in front of me. Clearly, you’re not leaving, right? Okay, I‘m sorry, but I have to call the cops-” just as you reached out for your phone, she took it away and hid it behind her back.

“Don’t act like you don’t know anything because hell you know what’s going on right now. Because of you, Yoongi broke up with me!” She yelled, taking a deep breath afterward. You furrowed your eyebrows, not sure how to react in this situation. Your feelings were mixed and you couldn’t tell them apart, unsure if they were expressing euphoria or just confusion.

“What?” Perfect! That was literally all you could think of? Just answering in a confused way.

She let out a fake chuckle as she pulled out her hand, handing you your phone back.

“I won’t let you take over us! Believe me. I won’t let you have Yoongi because-”

“I don’t care.”

Indeed, she was surprised about you not talking back. You let your mouth say the words which your mind repeated over and over again. Sometimes it’s getting more real and one is accepting it when it’s said out loud. You didn’t want to fight anymore because you weren’t sure if it is worth, consuming your energy for his unfaithful love.

“Now please leave-” again you wanted to close the door, but she held her arm in front of you, stopping you.

“Yoongi can’t get back to you….” she shook her head, her eyes getting teary as you furrowed your eyebrows. At that moment the postman came up to you, handing you a letter. You rolled your eyes and ignored her presence while opening the letter. She was still mumbling words and you just hoped for her to realize that you gave her an answer already. Your furrowed eyebrows relaxed as your eyes were reading the words, written on the letter.

It was your official date in court for the process of the divorce.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you shut your eyes.

“Here!” You yelled, turning the paper and showing in front of her face. “It’s our official lawsuit. One week. Only one week until we are done, you understood?!” you gritted your teeth, surprised about the sudden anger and the penetrating voice of yours. “Now leave my freaking house!” Without saying anything further, you pushed her and shut the door close. Throwing the papers on the small commode, you stomped off into your room and slammed the door shut. You were angry but you didn’t know why.

With your hands you went through your face and hair, going from one corner to the other. Slowly, you started biting your nails and you really didn’t know why. You couldn’t figure out why you were in the state of hysteria. It was cruel and kind of humiliating how your heart got ripped off and was cut into pieces. Your heart was full but your mind was empty. It was strange and yet so hurtful. You sat down on the edge of your bed and looked up, your gaze meeting the pictures, which were hanging on the wall in front of you. You chuckled about your stupidity, for not hanging them down. In that time, you couldn’t raise your hand and put them down. It was just wrong.

It felt like your mind woke up as it was sending an impulse to your feet, dragging you to stand up and walk to the pictures where the beautiful memories were plastered on. You smiled to yourself as you were looking at one and each of them. Hesitantly, you reached out for the pictures. Your hands slowly and gently caressing them with your hands. When the realization hit you, you grabbed them and threw them on the ground, causing a loud mess.

Suddenly, the door opened. Your mother ran up to you.

“Y/N!” She had a worry written all over her face. Her arms wrapped around your body and pulled you tighter to herself.

You were in the state of crying but no tear left your eyes. Your body, heart, and soul felt that it was the last step before releasing your new life after the lawsuit. It was so complicated and you didn’t know how to react because of the different feelings your whole body expressed.

Indeed, your mother was worried and wanted to give you a helping hand. At some point, she thought that her help wouldn’t be enough. You have to go through professional therapy for recovering but her saying that would make you even angrier. Of course, you wouldn’t agree. You weren’t insane, just a mother who is going through difficult times. Surely, you hoped for recovering and you were sure to be a new person as soon as you start changing and decorating your own life differently.

You stood up and took the pictures, throwing them all into the trashcan in your room. Meanwhile, your mother followed your actions and watched you pitiful and sad for not being able to help you properly.

“Mom… I’m ok!” You said, leaving the room and going up to the laptop. You were going through the same websites all over again, trying to find a good job and a new home with a payable rent.

It was already getting darker and you were still sitting in front of your screen, writing many online applications and calling some estate agents for a new home. Luckily, you made some appointments for good apartments which you will be looking at this whole week. They weren’t too small and in a bad area, you hoped for good news.

“Y/N, wake up…” a warm hand touched your shoulder and shook you awake, slowly and gently.

You lifted your head from the hard ground which obviously was your table. Going through your hair, you tried to familiarize yourself with your surroundings.

“Mom? What time is it?” you mumbled, your voice coming out low and raspy.

“You were in front of the screen the whole night. I made sure that Junsun and Ahran get their bus. You should wake up now…” She smiled weakly at you as she put her hand on your shoulder. “How about you take a nice shower while I clean the house? Let’s go out together, get some fresh air, gossip around and get different thoughts, huh?”

You smiled at your mother’s suggestion and nodded slowly. But how could you know that going out would make you feel even more miserable?

#min yoongi angst #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bangtan angst #bts angst scenarios #bts angst series #min yoongi angst scenarios #min yoongi angst series #min yoongi x you #bts x you #bts x reader #bangtan angst scenarios #bangtan series

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skaylanphear · 6 years

Text

Y’all need to calm down about the Season 3 teaser

Honestly, I wasn’t gonna get into this drama because I think it’s kinda silly anyway, but the more I see about it, the more ridiculous it gets.

Y’all are getting WAY too defensive of Marinette in the new teaser. Like, a lot of her character arc has led to this moment. We KNEW Lila was going to come back and that it was likely going to have to do with Adrien. Marinette has displayed jealousy issues on multiple occasions, as well as an avid hatred for liars. This show is also centered around the will they/won’t they aspect of Adrien and Marinette’s relationship, so relationship drama is expected. This episode is likely the catalyst for a lot of those things.

Really, it was handled rather cleverly in that it backed Marinette into a corner she couldn’t wiggle her way out of, as she typically is able to do. As I have said in previous metas about Marinette’s character, her strength lies in manipulation (“resourcefulness” for those of you who are made uncomfortable by my word choice). Be it as Ladybug or her civilian self, her first step in solving any problem is to manipulate the situation around her until she gets the outcome she desires. As Ladybug, this is her literal super power. As a civilian, it sometimes works in her favor, it sometimes doesn’t. In Reflekta, her first attempts to manipulate the situation failed, so she instead manipulated the photographer with her charms. In Anansi, she played a trick that allowed her to cheat so Nino could win, in Reverser she created a situation so that she could attempt to control the outcome, etc, etc... And while I salute the writers for using this quality as both a good and bad thing--and for displaying so acutely what it’s like to be a woman in a world where you are often disregarded--it also means that putting Marinette in a situation where she can’t manipulate what’s going on is going to frustrate her. Add in the lying and you’ve got a recipe for Marinette being backed into a corner (something that is, arguably, very, very difficult to do).

If we look at the premise, it actually relies a lot on what has happened already in the series. Only Marinette and Adrien are going to be aware that Lila has a tendency to lie. It was also established that Lila has regular contact with the class via the Season 2 finale, which means that the students have probably talked to her regularly. They do know her a bit and as far as they know, she’s a kind, generous person who leads an exceptional life. So when she finally comes back with some silly story about saving Jagged Stone’s cat and thus has hearing damage, it’s really not that far of a stretch that the other students would believe her given the things they’ve believed in the past.

So if we look at it subjectively, what we have is a nice girl coming back to school who suffered an injury and has asked nicely that the class accommodate that, only for Marinette--who the class knows will go too far to get close to Adrien, who will lie even if she apologizes later, and who will go to extreme lengths to achieve what she wants--to question this, thus upsetting Lila and making her--Marinette--look like a huge jerk in the process.

You might say, “well the class should know better.” What should they know, exactly? That even though Marinette is strong and willing to go the extra mile for others, that she can’t also make mistakes and be mean? Max knows she can be, even if she apologizes later. The teachers know she tends to make up excuses to get what she wants. Sabrina probably doesn’t have the best opinion of her. Alix clearly thinks her obsession with Adrien is weird. Nate likely feels embarrassed over what her plan made him think. Like, she tries, she really does, but not everything turns out the way she wants, nor does it always come across as though she’s a saint. Adrien said she was like their everyday Ladybug, not the rest of the class. On top of that, his statement is compounded by the fact that he actually KNOWS Ladybug and has called her out on her faults multiple times before (his own issues aside). So yeah, Marinette is generally a good person and she puts up with a lot and she goes the extra mile, but she has her own selfish desires and her own skewed idea of what is acceptable.

Let’s be frank, Marinette crosses a lot of lines. And even if that attitude leads to her doing good things, it doesn’t change the fact that she’s comfortably prepared to do whatever she wants even if someone else tells her “no.” And she learns, of course, and does better, and usually turns things around, but that part of her personality is still there. And being Ladybug, more than likely, has only encouraged this part of her.

So now we have the situation in season 3. Lila is basically, at this point, another up and coming Chloe as far as her levels of nastiness, except that Marinette is the only one who knows that (and Adrien, but he likes to see the best in everyone and so likely believed what Lila said in good faith). The issue that Marinette is the only one that knows is only compounded by the fact that she can’t defend her attitude toward Lila because that would mean she’d either, one, have to admit she’s Ladybug, or, two, formulate some sort of lie that would be the equivalent of what Lila did, which isn’t exactly a good idea given what Marinette is angry about in the first place (also, that’s a shitty thing to do anyway). The rest of the class have nothing but good opinions of Lila. Even Alya has had nothing but good things to say about her. Add in the fact that a good majority of the class KNOWS Marinette has a past of acting ridiculous when it comes to Adrien and it’s not a far stretch that they’d be irritated with her behavior. To them, it looks like Marinette is, once again, trying to manipulate the situation to her advantage so that she can serve her own desire to be near Adrien. As the audience--who arguably knows a lot more about Marinette as a person than the class--it’s easy to say “well, she’d never do that,” but the class has a different understanding of her personality. She’s a well-intentioned young woman who fights for what she believes in and who sometimes goes overboard in order to get what she wants, especially where Adrien in involved. It’s not that far of a stretch for them that she’d behave this way if Adrien was introduced into the equation.

If anything, the fact that the class knows Marinette better only adds to the reasons they’d react the way they did. I work in customer service with my sister and if a customer came up with a disability and she had the audacity to question that IN FRONT OF 15 OTHER CUSTOMERS, I’d probably give her a nasty look too. Marinette--whether she was justified or not--came off as a brat and was attempting (again) to humiliate Lila in front of everyone (be it that she deserves that or not). After all, everyone else in the class clearly has no problem with Lila, so why would Marinette? They probably know Marinette doesn’t know her, because Marinette likely hasn’t said anything contrary in an effort to keep her identity safe. After all, when Lila was first introduced, she was antagonistic toward Lila before she’d even known her--Alya was present for that.

Marinette’s entire attitude comes across as an exaggeration of her own previously poor behavior, whether that’s justified or not. Which likely only makes her all the angrier, as SHE knows this, but there’s nothing she can say to clarify that to anyone else.

And quite frankly, I’m not even that mad at Alya for volunteering Marinette’s seat for Nino. No, it wasn’t the most polite way to go about it (she could have asked first), but Alya has gone above and beyond for Marinette and her love life, setting up all sorts of situations and encouraging Marinette whenever she can. I don’t think it’s that selfish of her to say “I’d like to sit beside my boyfriend” given all that she’s done for Marinette. Yeah, it’s kind of shitty that Marinette now sits in the back, alone, but if it wasn’t her, then someone else would have had to do it. And sometimes in classrooms, you just sit where you’re told to. I’d also like to add that, upon learning Alya was then sitting beside Nino, Marinette was not upset. Rather, she was simply upset she had to sit in the back.

Honestly, even if it hadn’t been labeled a mistake, I wouldn’t even be that mad at Adrien for glaring at her. Adrien takes a lot of what people say at face-value and is often more forgiving than he should be. It’s not completely out of the question that he might believe Lila, given what other things he’s willingly believed. Adrien WANTS to believe in people. Not only that, but he has firsthand experience being on the sour end of Marinette assuming the worst because of circumstances. No, I don’t think he holds it against her, but she was pretty brutal toward him despite the fact that he tried to explain and that she didn’t even know him in the first place (origins).

Marinette is a strong and wonderful character, but she has faults and while I likely would have handled a lot of things in the story differently, this episode premise isn’t as bad as people on this hellsite think it is. Yeah, some of the opinions that come from the Defend Marinette Squad are justified, but this episode isn’t even out yet and everyone is up in arms. That aside, I don’t really see how anyone is that out of character, except for maybe Alya.

I think that a lot of people who view Marinette as this perfect, blameless flower are angry that her faults are being exploited so as to put her in a difficult position. A position that also reflects badly on her, despite the fact that we, the audience, know she’s not at fault. Honestly, that’s probably the whole point--that we as audience members feel the same frustration that she does. She’s our hero, so we hate it just as much as she does when someone is telling lies and it reflects badly on her. It has been well-established that Marinette is emotionally sensitive to two things--lying and Adrien. OF COURSE the writers are going to use Lila to exploit that. And they’ve set it up that Marinette has been just as faulted in the eyes of the other students as she has been virtuous. I doubt any of them now hate her, but I also doubt that any of them are surprised at the concept of Marinette becoming so emboldened as to act against another student so as to get a chance with Adrien (there’s a reason she gets compared to Chloe all the time, guys--there are parallels there whether we like it or not).

Like, that’s literally the plot of Gamer, despite the fact that Max was a whiney little bitch about losing.

Marinette can be a good person and still make big mistakes.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #ml #mlb #ladybug #marinette #season 3 teaser #spoilers #ml spoilers #lila

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prueshacklebolt · 5 years

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❝ i was born just a girl ; not a warrior. i was not meant for bloodstained hands. ❞ ALISHA BOE? No, that’s actually PRUDENCE “PRUE” SHACKLEBOLT. A SEVENTH YEAR student, this RAVENCLAW student is sided with MCGONAGALL’S ARMY. SHE/THEY identifies as GENDERFLUID and is a HALF-BLOOD who is known to be ARGUMENTATIVE, IMPRACTICAL, and FORGETFUL but also PERSPICACIOUS, KIND, and GENUINE. { SAM, 24, EST, THEY/THEM }

You can find Prue’s stats page right here, her pinterest board can be found right here, and her connections’ page is here.

TWs: Parental death, death, food & medication.

Prue’s mother is a muggle, and though she knows about the wixen world, she has never gotten all that involved, liking how she and her husband had different universes and yet loved each other and their child more than anything else in the world. However, that has changed ever since Kingsley’s death. Now, she’s not comfortable letting her only child go into that world, and literally begged Prue not to go back to Hogwarts. Not after she had lost the love of her life to that world. Problem was, Prue wanted to avenge her father, and she couldn’t do that by hiding in the muggle world. Now, her mother lives with Prue’s godmother, and their old townhouse close to the Ministry lays abandoned, with all its memories stripped away and put in boxes that follow Prue’s mother wherever she goes.

Prue’s always been a child that her parents could brag about to other adults, something that both Kingsley and her mother, Elizabeth, did quite often. She was intelligent, she never lied to them, and she always knew how to act in social situations without causing a scene or seeming boring. Sure, she was argumentative and always forgot her homework when she went to class, and she did have a lot of ideas that never panned out, but still. They were her parents and only saw the good sides of her. They were strict, yes, but Prue was never a child they had to discipline much after she started attending Hogwarts. In fact, they quite enjoyed her flaws. Kingsley loved how argumentative she got when it came to politics, as he loved discussing those things with his daughter, and Elizabeth liked Prue’s wild plans for everything, even if they never came to fruition.

Prue was close to both her parents, and loved them equally, but she had always admired her father for everything he was and everything he did. Therefore, his death hit her hard. She knew that the reason why he had been targeted was the reason why she had always admired him so much, and it made her angrier than she had ever been. Having never been one to fight outside of verbal arguments in the past, Prue became somewhat ruthless. She no longer backed out of a physical fight or a wizarding duel, and wasn’t even hesitant to begin them when it came to her father or things they had both believed in, like the little idea that everyone deserved equal rights. It scared her mother, really, but Prue was mad at her mother too. Of course, she wasn’t violent towards her and still loved her and felt bad for her, but she resented her mother for being so afraid. For retreating in the muggle world and wanting her daughter to do the same. Prue wanted to fight. She wanted to do something that counted, something that her dad would be proud of. And so, she fought. In all the ways she could possibly fight.

She never even tried to become a leader for the M.A. because she wanted a bit more freedom when it came to what she could do to fight the Death Eaters, and she felt like, as a leader, she’d have to lead by example, which she wasn’t sure she could actually do. She wouldn’t want other students throwing themselves into the fray like she was doing, as she still remained quite thoughtful of others. She didn’t want other students to start neglecting their classes like she did, just because she was too angry to focus on what ingredients you needed to mix together to make someone sleepy. The only classes she found useful anymore were Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, and therefore, they were the only two she put a real effort in.

Prue had always dreamed of becoming an auror, of following in her father’s footsteps, but she wasn’t sure that was what she should do anymore. Sure, he had accomplished a lot, but he was also gone. He was gone, and he wasn’t coming back, and he’d never get to be proud of Prue again. Never again would he brag about her accomplishments to his colleagues, or argue with her about the differences between muggle and wixen politics in Britain, and how they intertwined together.

I guess I should talk a bit more about the way Prue was before this all happened, though, so here we go. Prue was always a friendly person. She had a really bad “resting bitch face”, which she had been told intimidated other people, but she was really kind and open-minded, and people ended up getting used to the fact that, if she wasn’t talking to anyone, she often looked like she didn’t want to talk, which often wasn’t the case.

She was also very good at understanding how things and people worked. She noticed the little details of things, and put them all together to figure out just how someone thought and how it affected the way they acted, as well as the way objects and spells worked. She loved taking muggle objects and taking them down to figure out just exactly how they worked, and she was fascinated by the way muggle technology and magic interacted, and if there were ways to mix the two together in a useful way, somewhat. She was especially curious as to how to maybe replace internet or electricity with ambient magic, and it was her life goal to figure out how to connect the two worlds through technology. It was a grand plan, maybe not a realistic one, but Prue had never exactly been known for being practical.

She was also a very honest and genuine person, though since she was well aware of how people worked, she had a good understanding of when it was time to be honest, and when it was time to be quiet. Thing was, she rarely ever lied, but she also didn’t tell the truth when it wasn’t needed, which was why her kindness and honesty mixed so well together.

She used to argue so much, like… She’d find the littlest reason to start an argument. To her, they were fun. To others, not always. It was one of the few times where her perspicacious side didn’t necessarily come in quickly enough, and sometimes it took her a bit too long to understand that she should have backed out, which she then always regretted. Still, she had very fixed ideas and values, and she felt like it was crucial to defend them, especially in turbulent times.

FOOD TW. Her favourite food is cereal. Specifically, Rice Krispies. Just, Rice Krispies with milk. That’s her food heaven. No added sugar, no fruits, no anything. Which might sound quite boring to most people, but it’s what she used to eat when she was feeling down as a kid, and it stuck with her. Apart from that, there’s nothing that she really dislikes. She loves some things more than others, but overall, there’s nothing that she won’t eat. She tries to eat less meat, though, because her mom once sent her an article about how muggle meat production is harming the environment, and so she tries to be careful with that, even though she loves it. Really, she’ll try anything at least once, no matter how gross others might think it is, which she has come to regret a few times, but mostly left her feeling satisfied and proud of herself for at least trying.

MEDICATION TW. Has ADHD! Her mother got her diagnosed at a muggle doctor two years ago, and since then, she’s been taking medication for it, which doesn’t react badly against magic, and which helps her concentrate and remember.

I think that, really, Mina and Prue are very different from each other, no matter how similar the things they both went through were. Whereas Mina reacted to her sister’s death by ignoring it, by throwing herself into pleasure and fighting and instincts rather than thoughts and feelings, Prue reacted to her father’s death by acting upon it, throwing herself into what needed to be done to get vengeance. Instead of fighting to forget, she’s fighting to remember. She wants to avenge her dad, to make him proud, wherever he is, and to do that, she has to to strong and consistent. She hurts just as much as Mina does, but she handles it in a very different way. Which I felt the need to specify because I realized that they might seem really similar, but to me, they’re very, very different from each other.

#iidyintro #( && tag tbd. | | introduction. )#( && tag tbd. | | character development. )

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blindtaleteller · 5 years

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Teaser: Chapter 7 - Photograph

((still looking for this artist!))

-----Pre-notes, note and clue: If you close your eyes and listen to Ed Sheeran’s song by the same name as the chapter title: you’ll get an idea for this chapter’s theme.

----==BONUS TRACK - Loki (Love Letters)

The debate didn’t even last a second in his head.

He wanted to know what they had been talking about; so he was half sliding from the bed, coming around Peter’s feet to slip-step sideways on his haunches between their knees and snag the wire-bound little stack of paper. A hasty but silent retreat and he was fast out the door with a near devilish smile as he flipped it back and started for the kitchen with every intent of starting up some coffee and breakfast when he noted the time. Loki was halfway down the stairs, when the first few lines started to slow his steps.

And then stopped them entirely, nearly made him sit down right there; when he realized with the longer, second scroll of graphite across the paper just what, and who they had been talking about. He did sit, when he re-read those words again; unable to turn the page right away as they hit him, hard in the throat and low in the gut.

He instantly knew, he wanted to keep this. Reading it a third time, he finally turned the page: and read more.

‘Gam.. my Gamora; she was the same way. Probably a lot angrier about it though? That was her general default already when I met her. Chip on her shoulder. Lots of pride, and none of it for who raised her; but plenty for who she made herself into regardless. Good reason to, when you look at who it was that did. I’d have gone a little crazy -- okay, I did, a little: when my old man let slip he actually put the tumor that killed her in my mom’s head. I’m sorry you had to go through that, if I haven’t said it. I know how that goes. I had to watch mom go through all the stages.’

Another little page, he kept reading. This was something, a set of details Quill hadn’t told him. Not outright, not in this detail.

‘Right up to the night she died. I was a kid, and couldn’t take it. I ran, and I never got to see her off. Then he said that, and I just imploded. Shot him seventeen times. Six seconds. Wasn’t enough. Not to kill him, and not to finish off what rage I had either. Neither was what followed. Not for the rage anyway. Not really. But for all that; for all the tiny parts that feel dirty just still having the tiniest wish he could have been different? I don’t think I could have been raised by him knowing what he’d done, like she was: and come out as put together as she was. She had trust issues, yeah and go fig. We had a hard time getting to being a real us because of that, and because I knew it and had a hard time figuring out how to go at it without spooking her. Well, ha; and because I’m a flirt with big appetites who tends to jump in head first and figure out how to make the messes I get myself in, to work after: somehow.’

That last part made him smile a bit as he turned the page; and kept reading; a pause to listen for movement, a glance up the steps because Loki knew even first thing in the morning, Clint could be as deadly silent as he himself was if he wanted to be.

‘But she knew that too; and would dance with me anyway, when no one else was looking. Or no one else was around, and work at it. Step by step. Song by song. Oh we’d argue. A lot. A lot!!! But we always figured it out, sometimes because we did argue.. If that makes sense?’

‘Heh. I get that. Laura and I fought a lot in the beginning too; even before we were married. She knew early on I was bisexual. Our second meeting? Was me coming out of a hotel she was staying at with the then on again off again bed partner making his escape in the background. Made for a funny conversation but; she was way cooler about it than I thought she might have been. He wasn’t in the picture the next time we met, and we were good those first few months after.’

Loki remembered this conversation, though it was different in text than in word. Clint been a little short with him, when he’d explained it, but in a different way. More words, but a little less trust at the beginning; something that, by the end, Loki had been given on the subject: when Clint had seen not only the lack of judgement, but the near eagerness to know more about him. He read on.

‘But she had a hard time when it came up, understanding how that end of my life worked and where she might fit in it. Wrapping her head around the fact I was still figuring some of that out for myself, back then: but not where she was concerned. I was still a bit of a mess when we met, but I knew she was different for me; where they weren’t. She did figure it out though, eventually and lucky me. Maybe faster than I did in some ways. Sometimes I just ..needed to try and find whatever was missing there, for me. She wasn’t it. I was happy with her. With the kids, but .. well, that gap, I mentioned. Didn’t find what I needed to fill it for a long time. Not until Lau. And I never expected to find him where I did. He surprised the hell out of me.’

‘How did you know?’

Another blue ruled line. ‘I mean; not just about him. About.. You know.’

‘Liking men too, and the difference between him and the rest?’

‘Yeah.’

There were several little grey dots to one side of that last penned entry. Like Clint had tapped it a few times. Loki could almost see him thinking about it; probably that narrowed look at the paper, or his own knees. He did that sometimes. Sometimes the trickster loved it, others it could be frustrating; but in the end he admitted still: that the thoughtfulness he put in behind his answers when it came to things like this still made him smile. ‘I'm still sort of figuring us out, with the gaps. But I see him; enough of him and his affect on me to know this is worth keeping, whether I get it all back or not. We fit. I love him. Sometimes, that and the willingness to stick through the painful bits and arguments along with the good parts are all you need. Hell. They're the biggest part, really. Don't think I need to tell you that. Gender aside, the ones that can really bail on you when the going gets tough, aren't worth holding onto when it comes to much of anything. As for the general.. I think maybe I always did; and I just never really thought to explore or show it? I mean.. Look where we both grew up, and when; and how that kind of thing was viewed in those kinds of little communities back then. Don’t even get me started on how my old man would have reacted if he’d lived long enough to see the signs himself.’

‘Look on your face says you belong to the same club as me and Loki?’

‘?’

‘Which club?’

‘The ‘my dad was pretty much a waste of breath’, club.’

‘Yeah, definitely on that train.’

‘He’s why I was so damned mad at myself hitting Lau like that; even if it didn't hurt him physically. Why I asked you to deck me, if I tried again. He was the worst kind of alcoholic. Used to beat the hell out of me and my little brother when we were younger. Mom too, when ever she got between him and us. And she did that a lot, when we were still too small and not fast enough yet to run and get out of his reach, and he didn’t have more booze money. Also why I don’t drink. Much, if at all. Your dad killed your mom with a magic tumor. Mine killed himself and my mother with an emptied set of bottles left behind on the bar top, and the insistence he get behind the wheel of that piece of shit Le Baron after she’d peeled him off smacking me around and sprung for said bar run to keep him off for the night.’

‘Told myself early on I wouldn’t be him. Following that’s what drove me into what I do. Trying to be better. Aiming to be what he wasn't. But sometimes, I wonder if I didn’t get his shit temper anyway.’

‘I dunno. I’m pretty infuriating, or so I’m told. And you didn’t swing at me. You do good by your kids, that much I can tell. Can tell it’s been a stressful ride for you too. Honestly, just Loki's end would have driven me to swing at someone: never mind the frustration of yours. Doesn't make who you ended up hitting any more excusable! But isn't any less true.’

‘You still threatened to put me in a wheelchair.’

‘Yep. Would again too, if it meant you’d still get or keep your head on straight. We talked a lot that night. A lot about things that had nothing to do with what we intended to. He couldn’t go more than twenty minutes without mentioning you, and anybody what’s been hurt by someone they love could see the reason why he was so down? Was because he’s crazy about you. Disappointed and beating himself up more over what he did than you ever could. Doesn’t make it right, but by comparison; he didn’t feel that punch so much as he felt what was behind it?’

‘I know. I figured that out after. It’s the part of me that took that long to piece, that pisses me off about it still. Don’t let me do that again. I dunno how he does it, but he usually has to make a conscious effort to make it so we don’t break more bones when someone not as physically durable as they are comes at them earnestly; but. That doesn't mean I want him using it as an excuse not to smack me back if he's not confident in being fast enough about it. If you're watching though? I feel .. more in check? ’

‘I didn’t even know that was possible. Aren’t their muscles alone like .. I dunno. Gamora said it was like some kind of alloy or fiber or something.’

‘Far as I can tell, yeah. Asgardian durability and strength is up there. Though it varies. I’ve seen him bounce bullets off ’

‘ What? Is this a kink thing like the porn theatre, cause I never thought of using a gu___’ Loki snorted a little at where that word had literally been drawn right off the edge of the page. Clint had probably grabbed his hand.

‘No. It’s not a - I don’t even know what to say to even the idea of that, shut up...’

.-=][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][=-.

---The only bad thing about tumblr posting is; you miss out on the emphasis on certain words and phrases that things like italics help you read with better emotive understanding. There’s a lot more to this. I’ll be posting one more teaser for Photograph before I stop spamming you poor bastards til Chapter 8.

Read from the beginning and more here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19248328/chapters/45772732

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disasterjones · 5 years

Note

Jarrett. Give us the tea my dude

Jarett: Describe your worst boss or teacher you've ever had.

my time has come,,

this is obscenely long, apologies

okay so I used to work at a credit union (it’s basically a bank but they push this concept of “community” and “we’re not like the banks” except that they are, do not be tempted by their honeycomb claims, they’re as fragile as they are sweet) and I worked in the quality assurance department

we were tasked with everything from balance inquiries to opening accounts to being the equivalent of loan servicers (without the capacity to actually craft the loan agreement for underwriting, because then what would the loan officers do)

my boss, we’ll call him Bob, had two assistant managers, we’ll call them Jenny and August, who were probably the pacific northwest equivalent of Stepford Wives, with Bob being the superficially-agreeable gentleman that welcomes the unaware into the compound for assimilation

so anyway I joined this job through a temp-to-hire position and it was great for the first six months or so (as it turns out, even jobs have honeymoon periods), I made friends with coworkers, I established a presence and something of a reputation for being the friendly-and-decently-quick-learner, which I would later find out was to my detriment, because they took the “quick learner” concept and thought that translated perfectly to “teacher,” and about a year in they gave me a temp to train

the temp was never a problem, although she did sometimes like to be on her phone when we were in the middle of a call, but I’m just an employee that’s giving pointers, I’m not a boss nor am I her mother, so I don’t bother to give her too much hassle about it. she still manages to keep decent call times for a newbie and is able to navigate our systems after a little bit of repetition

this was the beginning of my issues with Bob, as he wanted me to be more strict and adhere as closely his own inflexible schedule as possible. problem is I can’t force a person to learn faster, nor had I asked for the responsibility of training someone in the first place. why hadn’t they asked someone with more experience? sure I’d learned the ins and outs of the programs okay, but i hadn’t developed the tools to quickly de-escalate angry callers yet, hadn’t even been given access to several systems I was expected to use to train this temp, but being behind was my fault no matter what I said

I’d already been dealing with some subtle snideness and condescension from Jenny and August on top of that, and it took me ages to realize it’s because I was the only person that didn’t engage in makeup culture (partially bc I can’t afford that shit lol) and that was literally the reason why: I wasn’t “put together” or “company ready,” even though I never personally interacted with members or anyone on site beyond people in my immediate department

so a year and a half of this, of subtle underhanded remarks and difficult demands, of having constant rising expectations and quotas, told at every turn that our goal is to have as many new members as possible, all the while a broken record of lie, just repeating constantly that “sales don’t matter, it’s about the community”

(EXCEPT GET ALL THE ACCOUNTS DON'T LET THEM SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS YOU FUCKING FAILURE YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM 3 ACCOUNTS YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM A GOOD RATE ON THE NEW CREDIT CARD IF THEY JUST SIGNED UP BUT REMEMBER WE DON’T WANT TO SELL THEM ANYTHING)

finally it’s Christmas time and I’ve been busting my hump for the whole year and it’s my second year so I’m eligible for a bonus and I’m literally gonna burst I’m so happy... until Bob and Co. announce that, despite all our stellar efforts this year, despite that we are ahead of company projections by a 15% margin across all departments, despite that I personally (and by proxy our department) was responsible for the acquisition of an account worth over 1.3 million, we were told our Christmas bonuses were actually going to be a bit sparser than they were the year prior, my first year, the year I got a $75 Fred Meyer gift card in

I had been looking forward to a cash bonus and had worked my ass off for it, had been damn near guaranteed it during a number of team/personal reviews with the managers, but surprise! three days before christmas, all I have to look forward to is $50 to a place that I can reasonably get a single pair of shoes from (and maybe some socks)

it’s a month or so later that the Big Change happens, and the entire building of employees moves across town to a new location. some people get let go in the shuffle, including one of my close friends I’d met there. financially stressed though she was, I could see how much happier she was to be out of that place, and I started to get inklings of leaving as my mental health began to deteriorate. another result of this change is that the parking availability for employees is cut down to a third of what we used to have, except it’s even less because most of the spots at the new building are intended for members, so everybody’s carpooling or riding bikes or bussing

side note: carpooling is all well and good in a green initiative, but do you have any idea how difficult it is to coordinate more than two people for a carpool? either you can make us carpool or you can have us in on time, you can’t have both

a bit of advice for anybody new to the job circuit or who might have trouble deciphering “appropriate” social gestures: no matter how open they say you can be, no matter how friendly or amenable they appear to be to mental health struggles, don’t fall for that trap and think you can show any moment of weakness. it’s true that not everyone will react the way my managers did, but don’t take the chance if you can help it. on the surface, they understood. on the surface they said they were with me.

i would go on to walk in on those same people mocking my symptoms and talking about how it can’t be that bad, that I must be trying to get attention.I was labeled unprofessional, and no matter how much they encouraged open communication and preached how “life happens and things get rough for people,” I was still an acceptable target.

so I took my complaint to HR, who at first seemed taken aback at the notion that, of anybody, BOB could be engaging in such careless and callous behavior. “Oh, he’s such a nice man! I’m sure he didn’t mean those things.” and because he wasn’t the one saying them, but rather laughing along with them, and because it was my word against theirs, it was unlikely to go anywhere

time crawls on and it’s about march or so when everything finally snaps in my brain. getting out of bed feels like selling my soul and going to work feels more like torture than a paycheck. on The Dawn Of The Day That Broke My Back, I was up and ready, out in front of my apartment and chain smoking to keep myself awake, when I realized that no matter when my carpool shows up now, we’re going to be late

I try to keep myself in decent spirits, not be a grumposaurus on the way in. I feel prepared for the day, got my coffee and my lunch in a bag and a nice outfit and I feel like maybe today won’t be as bad as the rest of the month has been, even though we’ll be late

we arrive about 10 after, but I’ve got Jenny and August’s numbers in my phone, so I’ve sent them messages ahead of time to let them know that the carpool was a bit late because traffic has been troublesome. I don’t remember how true it was, but the point is I did my part to let them know ahead of time that we weren’t no-shows, just a bit delayed. as I’m walking in (mind you, following and followed by a number of other individuals just as late as me), Bob singles me out, pointing first at me and then another aggressive point in the direction of a closed office space

fun fact: with the new change in locations, he no longer has his own office, in fact he now sits directly adjacent to me and close enough to hear me speak under my breath, something I had to be constantly aware of

he ignores the confusion on my face as soon as we’re inside and immediately begins to accuse me of slacking off, saying I’ve been skipping out on and coming late into work constantly, and I need to “get it together” or I’ll be out of a job. I try to express that I’m not trying to shirk my responsibilities, just that I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal stuff and it’s affecting my focus. He doesn’t care, his frustration continuing to escalate, and every time I offer a response or rebuttal to an unfair statement, he gets angrier and changes what he’s upset about.

Finally it happens.

“You were late! 10 minutes late! You need to be in your chair at your desk and ready to sign in and be ready to take calls BY 8:00!!”

I have grown tired of him yelling for no reason, and the backbone that had crumbled away over the last two and a half years suddenly snaps back into place hard as steel.

“I would like to know why this is all aimed at me specifically, when you saw me enter with the remainder of my carpool, the carpool that you all made us set up in the middle of construction season, which of course is happening on the only road that leads here.

“I would like to know how I’m supposed to control the environment or lives of the other people I am stuck riding with every day for this job that supposedly cares about us, even though it doesn’t seem to care about the extra expenses or time crunch we now have to endure as a result of this change that miraculously doesn’t affect you.

“I would like to know who put that stick so far up your ass that you thought it was necessary to yell at your employee about 10 damn minutes. If you don’t mind, I have a job to get to.”

And I go and sit at my desk. He fumes quietly in the office for a while before coming out to his desk, returning to whatever he was doing before he pulled me aside to treat me like a child.

Not a few hours later, I get a call from a member that had been working directly with Bob (big ordeal that needed a manager a few days prior, so he was the go-to for this particular account), and they wanted to speak with him, claiming it was urgent. I hold the call and stand up, trying to get Bob’s attention quietly since there’s other calls happening around me. I call his name quietly, saying “phone for you, it’s [member’s name]” but he doesn’t seem to hear me because he doesn’t respond. So again, I whisper his name, this time leaning more towards him to hopefully catch his eye with the movement, but he cuts me off before I can get the member’s name out

He starts yelling. Like, at the top of his voice, yelling. In a small room, to a person less than 5 feet away, audible to everyone both on a call and not (I would later find out it was also audible over the phone! a member asked what the yelling was about. but I’m the unprofessional one)

“CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY? WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO BOTHER ME WITH CAN WAIT. GET BACK TO WORK.”

The resolve I’d summoned earlier didn’t stay with me, and this was the final straw. It’s one thing to be berated to and humiliated one on one, it’s another to be on the receiving end of it in the presence of 20 other people. I get back on the phone and tell the member, “I’m very sorry, he’ll have to return your call. He’s unavailable at the present.” and hung up, because I was about to cry and I needed to get out. I log out of everything, lock my computer, pick up my belongings and wave to one of my carpoolmates as I walk out and down to HR

they wound up convincing me to stay for a few more weeks, especially after they fired Bob (who it would turn out was going through a divorce, his second in four years, and I just happened to be the punching bag he needed that day), but eventually I left and never went back

[ Critical Role Ask Meme ]

#anon #asks #gif #prompt #god i haven't thought about taht in years #its still so vivid though

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oliristhemisericord · 5 years

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SIDEREAL PROMPT / QUESTIONNAIRE

01. Tell us about your character’s name. Was it given to them or chosen? Does it hold any special meaning? If your character has aliases or nicknames, how did they get them and what do they mean?

There's no any special meaning to his name. It was given to him when he was born and he's been ambivalent about it since. Since his captivity by a Collector, Oli hasn't used it in full anymore. Very few people know his name isn't just “Oli”, and fewer still know anything about his clan name. Something he likes to keep that way.

02. What is your character’s relationship to their homeworld? Do they hold fond memories of it, or do they hate it? Are they still here, and if not, do they miss it?

Oli… realises the significance of his homeworld to himself and others of his species. Part of him considers — sometimes, fleetingly — about returning, but he also knows that there's no future there for him, nor does he believe there ever was. He's not been there for over a century, and even before he was forcibly removed from it, he'd not been on good terms with his clan.

03. Describe your character’s relationship with those who raised them. Was it positive? Negative? Neutral? What sorts of ideologies were they raised with, and do they still stand by them now?

As a maelibus, Oli was raised communally by his clan; they don't recognise the importance of “parents” above all, and all those born within a generation are siblings. That said, Oli hasn't been on good terms with them for a long time and he doesn't care to change it — his pride doesn't allow him to.

04. What is your character’s relationship with the Force? Is your character Force-sensitive? Whether or not they are, do they believe in it? Do they lean more towards the dark or the light or are they somewhere in between?

Whether maelibi are truly Force-sensitive is in the eye of the beholder. As a maelibus, Oli is very in tune with it, and he can manipulate it in others; indeed, it's his entire diet. He can't use it like a non-maelibus sensitive can, however, but his relationship with it is specific. People come in flavours, one better or richer or deeper than another. Regardless, he isn't affected by light or dark as normal.

05. What three word would you use to describe your character? What three words would your character use to describe themself? What three words would someone close to them use?

• iron-willed, generous, principled

• angry, tired, done

• caroc: annoying lil bitch

06. Describe your character’s aesthetic. Do they tend towards fashion or function? Do they like to accessorize? How does this extend into their own personal spaces, such as their home or their workspace?

Oli's aesthetic is… shimmering. Glitters. Glamour and leather. Bold eyeshadows and bolder nail polish. His cantina reflects it in a dark, sleek, neon way; it’s not a place where people go to be miserable (although he sure does). It’s a place where people go for an experience, aesthetic or otherwise.

07. What are your character’s vices? Guilty pleasures? Bad habits? Weak spots?

A big vice Oli claims isn't a problem is alcohol. He's a very functional alcoholic, and he can get very irritable (more irritable than his usual) when he hasn't had a drink in longer than twelve hours. Aside from that, he has a begrudging weak spot for those struck by injustices or persecution, the small and genuinely innocent.

08. Tell us about your character’s relationship with food. What are their favorites? Do they enjoy cooking? Are they adventurous? Will they eat absolutely anything or are they hard to please?

Oli doesn't eat. At least, not traditional foods, and thus he's very ambivalent about it. He doesn't understand anyone who's enthusiastic about food, and would honestly just roll his eyes at them. Where his own diet is concerned, he's very…. particular. Unless he's downright starving, he wouldn't eat just anyone, and picks his sustenance very deliberately, especially based on his moods. After all, if you’re craving chocolate, you’re not gonna settle for chips.

09. How does your character feel about engaging in relationships—romantic and / or sexual—with others? What is their history like? Do they fall in love easily? Are they constantly in and out of relationships?

Anyone who’s met Oli will account he’s quite antisocial and irritable. He’s polyamorous, though, and the idea of being tied down in a monogamous engagement — with anyone — makes him want to throw up. That said, Oli doesn’t fall in love easily. Indeed, he could say he’s never been in love with anyone, and he’s also not one to really sleep with just anyone. The people he’s attracted to vary widely, and there’s seemingly no rhyme or reason to it. Anyone he’s attracted to, romantically or sexually, he’s attracted to for vastly different reasons, and there doesn’t seem to be a unifying factor.

10. What is your character’s pain tolerance like? Can they hold their own in a fight, despite injury? If someone hurts them with the aim of gaining information, how much can they take before they cave?

Maelibi have very tough hides, and Oli specifically has an iron will. Hurting him physically doesn’t break him, it just makes him angrier until his restraint snaps and he sucks you dry.

11. What is your character’s weapon of choice? Are they more skilled as a melee fighter or do they have more skill with ranged weapons? What’s their fighting style like? What sort of training do they have behind them?

Although Oli doesn’t do much fighting, considering he thinks it’s beneath him (and if he does end up in a fight, he uses vocal chords to render his enemies — and allies — useless), but his weapon of choice is, very simply, a blaster. Precision is part of his entire being, from his words to his aesthetic, right down to his shot. Aim bots have nothing on him.

12. Does your character have any words or catchphrases that they say frequently? Tell us about how they picked them up.

Oli will call anyone ‘honey’ and ‘bitch’. Although the former may seem a little nicer than the latter, the former is, possibly, more pejorative than the latter. How he picked it up, no one knows, least of all himself, but at this point, it’s as much part of his brand as the rest of his crafted identity.

13. Tell us about a negative experience your character has had with either the Jedi or the Sith, and how this has affected their standing. Whether currently aligned or unaligned with either faction, if forced to choose, how would they side?

He has no negative experiences with either, and the only reason he has currently unofficially aligned himself with the Jedi is simply because he loathes unjust persecution. Nothing angers him more than a large oppressive force committing figurative (or worse still, literal) genocide on a specific people, and he will absolutely go to bat for them on principle.

14. How would your character react to seeing a relative or friend on the opposing side of a battle or mission?

There are very few people he considers a friend, and if it were a relative on the opposing side… well. Providing he could kill them with the available tools, he wouldn’t hesitate if it meant his own survival. Above all, Oli is self-preserving, and not even sentimentality will get in the way of him coming out on top.

15. Describe a memory that your character finds embarrassing.

Any time he has shown weakness, even in the privacy of being alone, are memories he wishes to forget. Starving in a cage on Nar Shaddaa were some of Oli’s lowest moments, the times anger made way for despair and a fluctuating will to go on are things he refuses to recount, dwell on, or even admit to be true if anyone asked. They anger him, surely, but above all, they frighten him.

16. What goals does your character hold for themself and what steps have they taken towards achieving them? How far are they willing to go to reach them? What is their be-all and end-all?

Oli’s goal, as it always has been, has been to survive by whatever means necessary. That, and winning. It doesn’t matter what he’s winning, whether it’s a battle of wits or a full-blown war; if there’s something for him to compete for, to end up the victor, to win, that’s his goal. That is his be-all-end-all, I suppose. His pride would allow for no less.

17. What is the one thing your character would change about their life if they were given the chance? What other lives could they have lived as a result?

No matter how much Oli insists on survival, sometimes he wonders what it would be like to not have been born at all. Would it have been better? Not for anyone around him, of course, but just as a sense of personal release. He doesn’t like being alive, but he’s sure not about to give it up either. More practical, the one thing he would’ve changed in his life was killing his captors first chance he got. And maybe not have been as… argumentative as to get himself banished from his clan, but that’s one he’ll never tell anyone.

18. Living in such a high-conflict time, how does your character feel about doing what they must to survive? Will they hurt or kill others—either directly or indirectly—to protect themself and / or those close to them? If so, do they regret it when all is said and done?

Survival is everything. Nothing is too far where his survival is concerned — he’ll kill and maim (and indeed, he has) if it meant living another shitty, terrible, no-good day. He hates being alive but he’ll do anything to stay alive. The one thing that would weigh heavily on his conscience, despite himself, was aiding in the unjust pain of oppressed peoples.

19. What is the biggest problem your character is currently dealing with?

Which shade to paint his nails that don’t clash with his eyeshadow without making everything monotone. Lol. Na, it’s mostly following his conscience and principles without becoming a target for those he’s harbouring these fugitives against, because he knows… he’ll do whatever it takes to keep them safe. And that scares him.

20. Give us 3+ headcanons of any length or subject matter.

1. Having been in the business on Nar Shaddaa for so long, he’s become a sort of information broker for bounty hunters and general criminals alike. Or honestly anyone seeking information about anyone or anything, really.

2. Despite the fact that he isn’t directly involved in the criminality of Nar Shaddaa, he inexplicably carries some respect on the moon. People who have made trouble for him in the past fifty years have mysteriously disappeared, and he just doesn’t seem to want to die, regardless of how many have tried over the years. The general consensus is that that’s one human you leave alone.

3. Indeed, everyone far and wide does think he’s a human. One of ambiguous age that somehow doesn’t seem affected by the ravages of time, but a human nonetheless. Only those of his clan, and a single unaffiliated being, knows who — or what — he truly is, and all of his clan is on Iego and will never leave, and the one other being has been sworn to secrecy on the pain of death of his loved ones.

bonus. Give us a list of any length telling us why our “fave is problematic.”

• problematic because he’s just so fucking mean? Like why?

• his aesthetic is a mood that I just cannot pull off and he knows how to serve looks like damn

• have you seen his jawline? Problematic

• he could rule the galaxy but he says it’s too much effort and too much socialising...

#.abt #sidereal prompt 01 #.prmpt

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dyaz-stories · 6 years

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I wrote something for @inuyashaeienni‘s prompt challenge!

Prompt: Inuyasha receives his phone bill every month and there is always something wrong. Shikon cellular just can’t seem to get it right. He comes home from work every month on the same day furious! Miroku gets a kick out of hearing him yell through the phone in their apartment while also sympathizing whoever is on the other line. Until Kagome the operator picks up, his escalated call has never de-escalated so fast…

Word count: 2,612 + 152 words bonus

Miroku had always thought it was hilarious how Inuyasha slammed the door of their apartment against the wall and rushed in, cursing, on the fifth of the month. He would then throw his bag on the couch in a perfect move, which made Miroku wonder vaguely whether or not he thought of that as practice for basketball. Inuyasha would then pull his phone out of his pocket, and after tapping on the screen for a few moments, place it close to his mouth.

He usually had to wait for a bit, and Inuyasha did not do well with waiting. He would start pacing around, getting gradually angrier and angrier. By the time the operator picked up, he was fuming. It was only a matter of seconds before he would explode. That usually didn’t go well. He cursed a lot, and became extremely insulting. He would end the call ragingly before locking himself in his room, leaving Miroku to cackle to himself in the living-room.

Honestly, Miroku was convinced that this was the reason why Shikon cellular just didn’t fix it altogether. Not that he was going to tell Inuyasha that.

This day though, it looked like things were bound to change.

The first sign of that was that when Inuyasha threw his bag on the couch, the couch yelped out in pain.

Inuyasha shot a glance in that direction while getting his phone out. Surely, that couldn’t be Miroku, the dude knew better than to be there on the fifth of the month.

It wasn’t Miroku.

It was Sango.

On top of Miroku.

”The hell’s your problem, Taisho?” she protested as she sat up, her hair all tangled up and her cheeks scarlet.

”The hell’s your problem, Taijiya?” he answered, not really bothering to look at her since he could smell everything he needed to know and that it was awful enough as it was. ”Can’t you do much better than him?”

Miroku could have protested, but he rather agreed with Inuyasha on that. Sango was just too wonderful for the entire world, as far as he was concerned.

”Well, my dear,” he said, ”I would normally advise that we go to my room, but…”

”Like I would agree to that!”

She totally would.

”But it is far more interesting to stay here and watch Inuyasha do his call.”

”Really?” Sango asked, turning towards the half-demon and rising an eyebrow.

”Fuck both of you!” was the explicit answer that came from Inuyasha.

”If you would just take a seat…” Miroku offered politely.

”I’m sitt— Miroku!”

With an innocent smile, the young man had pulled Sango on his lap and lovingly wrapped his arms around her waist. She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help but smile at him. He was an idiot, but he was her idiot. She kissed him lightly, before settling herself comfortably so that she could enjoy the show.

Things were not going well on Inuyasha’s side. He was annoyed enough to have his roommate and said roommate’s girlfriend watching him, but the damn Shikon operators were not fucking picking up. They were always slow, but not that slow.

When he heard someone pick up, he opened his mouth. He was ready to get it all out. He usually gave them a few seconds to be completely incompetent, but right now, he had had more than enough. Whoever was at the other end of the line would not understand what had hit them.

”Hello, this is Shikon operator,” a piping voice chimed happily through his phone’s speaker. ”I’m Kagome, your operator. What can I do for you?”

Inuyasha froze. Despite his sensitive hearing, he almost missed the two gasps coming from the couch. Miroku was literally beaming. This was the best twist to happen since the beginning of this monthly show.

Kagome was famous in their college. Not in the same way as Inuyasha, the basketball star with a terrible temper, or as Sango, the boxing champion, and not even in Miroku’s way, as the university’s Casanova. No, Kagome was famous for being… Well, active, to say the least. She was a part of several associations, including a feminist association, where she had met Sango and they had become two fairly good (and unlikely) friends, and another association that campaigned for demons’ integration.

That one was actually what got her the most attention, since it was no secret that the young woman had impressive spiritual powers and had been trained to be a priestess. She was considered an unusual ally, sometimes viewed as a traitor by humans and untrustworthy by demons, but all in all, people really appreciated having her around.

There were two things that were going through the minds of the three people here. In Inuyasha’s mind, it was: shit. In Sango and Miroku’s, it was: how on earth does she have time for a job on top of everything else?

”Hello?” Kagome’s voice asked after a few seconds of Inuyasha’s silence.

Inuyasha still wasn’t moving nor reacting. He was pretty much braindead, at this point.

Kagome. This was Kagome Higurashi. Otherwise known as the girl who he had had a crush on since the beginning of the year but had never had the balls to go talk to.

”Hello?” Kagome repeated.

He had noticed her for the first time when she was handing pamphlets on demon’s integration. Demons and humans’ relationships were tensed, to say the least, and she was campaigning to change that, she had explained to him with a bright smile. He had noticed that she didn’t make any remarks that had to do with him being a half-demon, even though she had probably noticed it, whether it was because of his features or because of her sensitivity as a priestess. He had wondered why.

Then, Koga, the damn moron who unfortunately happened to be a member of the same basketball team as he was, had came out of nowhere and said something about how he would be more than happy to tighten his relationship with her. Fuckin’ asshole. He could have punched him.

Actually, maybe he had punched him. He didn’t remember.

It was just that it wasn’t a joke to him. Asshole demons talking about stuff like that, not thinking about the possibility of getting a human woman pregnant and of her having a half-demon kid who’d get a shitty life… It just got on his nerves. So he had growled at the wolf and just walked away.

But Kagome… Kagome wasn’t like the wolf. Kagome was smart, and she cared about that stuff and she wasn’t afraid to discuss it. She seemed to be very opinionated on all sorts of subjects, and it looked… It looked like she was a really fun person to talk to, to be honest.

”Hello? I’m really going to have to hang up, if there’s no one there,” Kagome said, and he couldn’t help but notice an undertone of disappointment in her voice, like it pained her to think that she wouldn’t be able to help the person who had just called.

”N-no, I’m here,” he stuttered, ”I was just— Erm— Whatever.”

”Hello sir!” Kagome answered, having apparently no problem with his rather confusing reaction. ”What is it that I can do for you?”

Images flew through Inuyasha’s mind and he felt himself blushing. It didn’t help when he heard Miroku’s light laugh. Apparently, he had been frequenting the pervert for too long.

”You’re unbelievable,” Sango hissed, smacking him lightly on the shoulder.

Yeah, he agreed with that.

”Sir?” Kagome asked.

”Yeah. I’m a client at Shikon.”

There was a brief silence that gave him more than enough time to realize how that was an unneeded information, since this was precisely a hotline for clients. Well it wasn’t his fault if she was confusing him so damn much! He had done this a million times before, why couldn’t he remember what you normally said during that type of calls now of all time?

”Yes,” she answered, a hint of laughter in her tone, ”are you perhaps having a problem with your bill?”

Unfortunately for Kagome, asking that reminded him full force of the nasty surprise he had found in his phone earlier that day.

”I do, actually,” he growled. ”Care to explain why it’s up to sixty dollars?”

”Uh…” Kagome seemed taken aback by his sudden aggressiveness. ”I—I can look into it, if you would just give me your name?”

Oh, right.

”Inuyasha,” he said, and he found himself wondering if she would remember or recognize him. There was no chance of that, naturally, but he was sorta kinda hoping she would. ”Inuyasha Taisho.”

There was another silence, and that made his heart accelerate like crazy. Could it be that she was…?

”And here you are!” she exclaimed.

Yeah, that or she was just typing his name on her computer.

”Hm, so, I’m not sure I understand, Mr. Taisho,” she started politely, ”I—”

”Call me Inuyasha,” he said without thinking about it. Instantly, he wanted to punch himself. Great. Now she would think he was some sort of creep, trying to flirt with her.

”Alright Inuyasha,” she answered cheerfully, and while he wouldn’t have bet on it… She sounded rather happy to be saying his name. Also, her pronouncing his name was probably the best thing he had ever heard in his life. He would love to hear her saying it much more, in various different settings, and see how differently he could make her say it, scream it, pant it…

You know what? Maybe he deserved to be called a creep, after all.

”So I’m looking at you contract, and I don’t see what the problem is? You are supposed to be paying sixty dollars.”

The fuck?

”I most certainly am not,” he snarled. ”Or perhaps your company’s cheapest package’s forty euros, then I sure ain’t gonna stay here much longer.”

”Well our company’s cheapest package surely isn’t the one with unlimited Internet and phone calls, including for foreign countries, and with a TV package included!” Kagome snapped back.

By now, Inuyasha was far too angry to remember that this was the girl he had had a crush on literally all freaking year.

”What the fuck are you talking about?” he shouted. ”I didn’t sign up for this shit, bitch! I don’t even own a fucking TV, what d’ya think Imma do with this package? Even if I did, I wouldn’t spend any money on it, dammit!”

On the other side of the phone, Kagome took a deep breath, and not having her immediately answer to him actually helped him calm down. A bit.

”So let’s review,” she said, her voice a lot more tired. ”You didn’t sign up for this package?”

”Hell no!”

”This was… on the fifth of April, last month. Brings back any memories?”

Inuyasha nearly forgot how to breathe. Any memories? Fuck yeah he had memories. The guy he’d had on the phone had been the biggest asshole he’d talked to since he’d started having problems with his bills. It had been eight months since he had started to use Shikon. Now the first two times, he hadn’t been that bothered. It was annoying to see them getting it wrong, but at least they reimbursed him quickly.

He had stopped being cool with that soon after though. The month right before had been the last straw, and he had completely lost it on the guy when it had become obvious that he was making fun of him, more so than usual. So he was responsible? He was going to kill him. If he remembered his name. What was it again? Karu? Ka—

”So you never changed for this package?”

”I told ya, I don’t own a TV!”

”I’m sorry for the confusion, I will—”

”t’s okay,” Inuyasha sighed. ”It’s not like you had anything to do with it. Just switch it back and give my money back, alright?”

”Naturally,” Kagome answered, obviously relieved. ”As soon as we’ll have checked that you truly didn’t use it, we’ll—”

”Excuse me?” Inuyasha hissed.

”Erm… This is the company’s policy, there’s really nothing I can do about it…”

Inuyasha felt completely and utterly defeated. Demons he could deal with all he wanted, humans he could take, but administration of a freaking phone company? Those bastards would actually get him dead.

”Whatever,” he snarled. ”Just— fuckin’ whatever. This is grand. ’s not like I’d need the money or anything.”

”I’m so sorry, Inuyasha,” Kagome said, and she sounded extremely sincere. ”I wish there was something I could do, but except from switching it back to normal, I’m just not the one taking care of it.”

”Yeah. I know. ’s alright.”

There was a silence. He expected her to end the call quickly, but she wasn’t saying anything.

”Hello?” he asked after a few seconds. ”Still there, Kagome?” Oh, her name just rolled on his tongue.

”I-I’m here, it’s just…”

”Yeah?”

She took a deep breath.

”How do you put your phone?”

”I’m sorry, what?” he asked, frowning.

”I’m— you’re— we’re in the same college? We met? And I’m just— I’m just wondering how you put your phone, since your ears are on top of your head, right? So how do you do it? Cellphones aren’t planned for ears like that, but I can ear you just well, so, like how do you do that? Do you have it switch places? It’s— Erm—”

Inuyasha listened to her rambling with amazement. She remembered him. She. Remembered. Him. This sounded like a miracle. One he had done nothing to deserve, sure, but he would take it anyway.

”How about,” he interrupted her, his voice suddenly much more confident, which made it sound a lot more seductive, ”you agree to go take a coffee with me, like, tomorrow after class? If you’re that intrigued by my ears.”

”I would love that,” she breathed out like she had been waiting for him to just ask since forever. ”I would really, really love that.”

”I’ll meet you in front of the library at five then, alright?” he asked, trying not to sound too happy about her saying yes.

”That sounds perfect,” she answered wth a smile in her voice. ”It was a pleasure talking to you, Inuyasha.” He didn’t know why, but those particular words had him holding his breath. It was probably the way she said them, with such warmth in her voice, such fondness. Like she was actually looking forward to seeing him.

”Thank you for choosing Shikon cellular,” her voice chimed, taking a professional tone again, ”please rate our customer service and have a nice day!”

The call ended with that, and Inuyasha lowered his cellphone. Unfortunately for him, this was the moment his roommate chose to remind him that he existed.

”Did you seriously just get a date over her curiosity for your ears?”

Before he could answer, Sango decided to give a piece of her mind. ”Come on dude, she was obviously fine with that. You’re terrible with women, aren’t you?”

Miroku blinked innocently. ”I thought I was doing just fine.”

”You guys are disgusting. Stop doing that shit on the couch.”

They turned back towards Inuyasha, both wearing bright smiles.

”Come ooon, Yash,” Sango protested, ”why won’t you let yourself admit that you’re happy about it? Just don’t be an asshole on the date, and it should go just fine. Kagome’s nice, she likes you, you like her… What can go wrong?”

Plenty of things, actually, could go wrong. Inuyasha had much more than one answer to her question.

For starters, he didn’t know how not to be an asshole.

BONUS:

”Oh my God, Kags, I just checked your records for the day, and you’re the one who got the crazy customer?”

”Really? What crazy customer? I don’t remember anyone crazy.”

”He calls once a month, always has a problem — it’s like he does it on purpose, really. He made half of the girls here cry, actually.”

”He sounds awful.”

”Tell me about it! Anyway, last month he talked to Kaou on his last day, and Kaou changed his package, so he must have been pissed today!”

”Hang on. Are you talking about Inuyasha?”

”Yeah! You’re the one who talked to him? Poor sweetheart, I’ll—”

”I thought he was pretty nice, actually.”

”…What?”

”I have a date with him tomorrow.”

”What?”

”It’s always a pleasure talking to you, Yura. I’ll see you on Saturday!”

”Kagome Higurashi, you’d better come back here right now and tell me about it or I swear I’ll— Kagome!”

Inuyasha actually puts the person he’s talking to on speakers, that’s why Sango and Miroku can hear everything. He could hear them with just his sensitive hearing, but it requires him to focus and he doesn’t like that. Just in case you were wondering. Hope you’ve enjoyed!

#inuyashachallenge #inuyasha prompt #inuyasha #kagome #kagome higurashi #inukag #my writing #mirsan #miroku #sango

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