#aria pincushion tally:
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so apparently im getting visibly healthier bc one of my nurses literally didn't recognise me at first today lmao
#aria pincushion tally:#complete#also my oncologist told me off for pushing so hard on recovery#he literally went “girl WHY are you trying to be an iron woman triathlete twenty seconds after you stopped chemo???” sdslsdklf#sorry Dr Okonji i'll sit down 😔#(but he was proud of me for working out and told me to keep it up!)#(just to be nicer to myself abt it lol)
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caesar keel over yet?
ik you sent this a couple weeks ago, but i thought it was funnier if i answered it today
IDES OF MARCH FINAL STATS!!
Diagnosis: Aggressive HER2+ ductal carcinoma, weakly estrogen positive, metastasized, technically incurable
Name of Tumor: Caesar
Classification: little bitch
108 IV lines / blood tests / self-administered injections
19 Eggs harvested
9 Embryos frozen
8 Supplementary medications
5 Ultrasounds
4 Computed Tomography (CT) scans
3 Mammograms
3 Chemo regime changes
2 Core biopsies
1 Positron Emission Tomography (PET-CT) scan
1 Bone Scintigraphy
1 Multigated Aquisition (MUGA) scan
1 Echocardiogram
1 Electrocardiogram (ECG)
1 round of genetic testing
1 "this is the biggest tumour I have seen in my recent years as an oncologist"
1 reclassification from Stage 2 to Stage 4
1 "this is one of the best responses to chemotherapy I have ever seen"
(and GOD KNOWS how many litres of Paclitaxel, Pertuzumab, and Trastuzumab pumping through my veins...)
We can safely call it. At my last clinic, my oncologist told me he was happy with that my last few scans had remained stable, and that I wouldn't require any surgery or radiation therapy.
Folks. I did it.
CAESAR'S ASS IS DEAD YALL I BEAT CANCER HAPPY IDES OF MARCH 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
#aria pincushion tally:#FINAL SCORE#108#cw cancer#so yes#i will technically have to continue with treatment#i need to do immune therapy every three weeks#likely for the rest of my life#and yeah they do kinda suck#but not as much as chemo so thats a win#also I MAY possibly still have surgery if I want it#not sure yet#hopefully i'll find out more on that soon#but yeah#get fucked caesar#ur a stupid ho#happy ides of march yall 😊#ides of march
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Health update!!!
Part 1 (bc I cannot be concise at any time, ever but especially not when im crying in the trees like an actual creature) ✌️
(Pt 2 here!)
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yooooo im SO tired, have a health update 💞
(which was going to be another video update but then a bird came and i got distracted and now im too tired to speak lol. also WOW imagine being so pale you create your own god rays slkdjf)
so, ive been feeling like hot garbage for some time, which is perhaps not surprising with the whole "was poisoned via chemo for a year, is still recovering" thing. Recently my heart has been feeling Not Good TM, and the fatigue waves are getting pretty extreme at times.
So, I followed this up with my doctor, very much expecting it to be a case of "no you're just out of shape / your asthma is playing up / you're just being super lazy, try harder, etc". He booked me a specialised heart test which I had last week.
Uhhh apparently I wasn't just being pathetic! (Which is somewhat gratifying to know that there is a reason things have been so hard lately and it's not just in my head)
There is a thing called your Ejection Fraction, which is essentially a measure of how much oxygenated blood your heart is pumping around your body -- its the factor that keeps you feeling energised.
Mine has dropped. Fairly significantly. When I had the same heart scan in October, mid-way through chemo, I was still retaining a lot of my heart health and muscle mass from when i was pre-chemo, so my EF was sitting at about 80. Which is a sign I was initially quite physically fit (or, to quote my oncologist: "giiiiirl, you a Boston Marathon runner or what?)
Since my last scan, my EF has dropped to 58. Which is still actually higher than average, most people sit at about 55, so I've dropped to an average range lol.
My heart is working, but such a significant jump is still cause for concern. My oncologist said that if I had been less young and fit, it would have been a case of dropping from 55 to somewhere in the 30s, to which he said "you'd struggle to even walk down that corridor at that point."
At this stage, I have a (hopefully reversible!) cardiomyopathy. Unfortunately, reduced heart and lung function can be complications of the two immune therapy drugs I am taking to prevent my cancer from coming back. So the current course of action is to put my immune therapy treatments on hold for 9 weeks to let my heart recover.
Yes, that is a tad spooky, but the drugs have a very long half-life, so I should be okay not taking them for that short period. On the plus side, this should hopefully improve my overall quality of life while my heart heals, and a break from immune therapy will be really nice anyway, because that shit hurts lmao.
Otherwise, the metastatic cancer in my spine and my hips remains stable and is still showing signs of healing because I am AWESOME AND COOL. Oh, and I also had a massive internal lesion (a chemo complication I never mentioned here bc like... if I told you guys every little thing that's wrong with me, we'd be here all day lmao) but that is now healing on its own too!! Woo!
So... ye. Gonna have a nap, knowing that medically my heart is broken and I have yet another reason to take it easy now haha.
Send me lots of "oi don't get cancer again in the next 9 weeks you absolute nugget" type vibes. I don't think I will, I'm not worried, but yk yk vibes are nice 🥰💝💖💓💕🩷💞 if you are still reading, I hope you have a wonderful day!!!
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Omg ogm i g ooohhhgmyyygodd ohhhmygodd OH MYNFOS YOU GUYS GUESS WHAT AKDJSJSLDJDKSJD
GUESS WHAT
GUE
HA
ok get your shit together aria make the words go
Um. Take this with a grain of salt, bc it all depends on the results of a CT scan im booked in for in a couple weeks (and if I haven't 100% eviscerated Caesars bitch ass, I'll still need to do chemo for longer like I thought I would) BUT
IF everything is good on the scans (manifest this for me)
💖💖💖✨��✨️✨️I WONT HAVE TO DO CHEMO ANYMOREEEEE RAAAAAAHHHHHHGGGGHH✨️✨️✨️💖💖💖
(Next steps are surgery, and possibly radiation therapy, and i still have to do antibody treatments every 3 weeks but HOLY FUCK. GOOD NEWS. THIS IS SOME EXTREMELY SEXY AND BADASS GOOD NEWS IM DOING IT WE ARE NEARLY THERE AND BY THERE I MEAN HEALTHY)
I thought I was gonna be doing chemo on Boxing day and now I don't have to im so happy 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Health update part 2 (ft less crying but more loving you aggressively!)
(watch this take 40 years to upload bc my internet is made of cardboard)
(Part 1 here!)
#aria pincushion tally:#102#chemo: it's unpleasant#guys ive done it ive mastered the art of understatements#also yes the cas harlow ear cuff has made it into my regular wardrobe lmao
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No but my cousin is the cutest??? 🥹🥹💝💝 I I just got a surpise gift in the mail -- i don't even think she knows I collect mugs, that was just happy coincidence!! The hugs clearly run in the family though 🥰 God I'm so damn grateful for the people in my life that carry so much love and kindness in their hearts
#spread kindness#aria pincushion tally:#complete#a hug to take with me everywhere i go!!!#aaahhh happy
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oki i have to get up super early for an appointment with the surgery team, so full permission to leave me an unholy amount of boops while im asleep so i don't sleep through my alarm
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how you feelin aria 🫂
hiya lovely!! thank you for checking in 😊
anxiety is being sucky rn but other than that, I'm doing well!
I've had a few days in a row where my chemo toxicity side-effects aren't bothering me too much -- I was able to do some weightlifting yesterday, and rn I just got back home from going on a walk. It's nice to be able to do stuff without feeling like I'm gonna pass out, you know? lol
I've also been working on a fic for my Secret Pal for the upcoming exchange too, it's been fun! I'm giving the 5+1 format thing a shot bc I've never written something like that before
It's a sloooow journey back to being healthy, but I'm trying to be kind to myself with all the baby steps 🌼
I hope your day is treating you gently sunshine!
#ty for the ask lovely!#aria pincushion tally:#106#ngl its so satisfying seeing this tally slow tf down now that i only need treatment every 3 weeks instead of weekly lmao
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hey aria hyd
heya lovely!! im... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (i am good, I'm just also awful?? lmao)
the heart failure = no anti-cancer meds thing is pretty rough, I kind of just have to not think about it 💃 Still tired as all hell (I have about 1000 ideas for fic things rattling around in my brain that I wanna write, I just don't have the energy to write them)
also theres like... a leak in my hot water cylinder so my wardrobe is flooded and its so damp and humid in there that there's a mould infestation now which i have to keep cleaning out and its making me so fucking ill but my landlord hasn't done anything about it bc the price the plumbers quoted to replace it is apparently "too much" and he "can get a cheaper one on TEMU" and im ??? going??? to commit a crime*???? 😒
*I am not, there will be no crimes, but fucking hell landlords are a singularly trash tier of human being lmao. He knows I'm trying real hard to not get cancer again, and he's sat there like "mhmm, yup, lemme just make it as difficult as possible to get on top of your health situation so I can save a few bucks" 🙃
literally him:
Thanks for coming to my rant Ted Talk 👉👉 I am actually okay for the most part though lol, thank you so much for checking in!! Its so lovely to see you around 🥰💖💖 hope you're doing great hon
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Wishing you a bearable immune therapy session today 💜 you're the best and all your readers will be around when you're ready.
thank you sunshine!! I just got home from the hospital, it actually wasn't too bad today!! Like, I've still got the muscle pain / cramps / fatigue and stuff like normal, but the brain fog isn't too bad today 😊💖✨
I might be too tired to get much writing done, but its so nice to be able to even attempt it, you know?
(need to crawl into my pajamas first though haha)
#aria pincushion tally:#complete#ty for sending this ask lovely#you're the best#i feel so lucky to be living a life that exists within the sphere of the warmth you radiate you know? its real cool 😊#asks answered
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"resurrected, but they came back wrong" but it's just my eyebrows after chemotherapy
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hows ceaser? getting weaker i hope
caesar's pathetic ass is so weak by now and god does it feel good!!
also we are getting closer to the Ides of March, and I can't help but enjoy the fact that I named my cancer Caesar, and then I'll hopefully get to wrap up treatment(!!!) around the time of Caesar's actual death lmao
Health update rambles under the cut! (The short version is: she's getting better yall 🥰)
My oncologist said I've been responding brilliantly to chemo!! My last 3 CT scans have looked awesome, so hopefully I am nearing the end of this thing!
The last one did turn up a big lesion in my abdomen, so I've had to go for more ultrasounds and I'm still waiting on the results of those, but the sonographer told me not to panic, so I'm chilling ✌
Trying to get my strength back up sucks ass, chemo has damaged my heart and lungs so freaking much. Some days I'll be fine and feel strong, and then other days the fatigue is overwhelming -- like, I tried to work out today, and I collapsed from exhaustion twice, and my vision blacked out twice.
Which sounds like i was pushing myself way too hard! Which... ok i was, kinda :/ but on a good day, where I actually have energy and my heart doesn't feel like its about to explode, that workout would NOT have been hard. The fatigue swings are so wild, honestly! Its frustrating on the slow days, but overall its good to be feeling healthier than I was ✨
In awesome news though, the nerve damage is healing in my limbs!!! 🎉🎉🙏💪💪
At it's worst point, it was affecting both hands, both wrists, my right arm all the way up to the armpit, both feet, both ankles, and both calves with tingling and shooting pains, and my hands and arm were going numb in places.
It's improved to the point where I'm not getting random shooting pains and constant tingling any more, and I'm back to having almost a full range of motion -- i still get nerve pain, but its just when i move in certain ways now. The numbness is totally gone (except for the end of one of my thumbs, which seems to have permanently lost sensation, but im getting used to how weird that feels lol)
Still no word back from the surgery team, but I hope to hear more about that soon!!
I'm feeling really good about how things are going, and I'm pretty sure one of the next health updates I give you guys will be a pretty cool one 👀😎
#aria pincushion tally:#106#suck my entire dick caesar your days are numbered#tysm for checking in love#that really means so much to me#💖💖💖
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It's a totally random ask, I just checked the time and thought you're probably in the hospital rn, and then I realised it's been a while since you updated us on pretty nurses situation 💅🏼
(anyone cuter than Vidya perhaps? 👀)
🩺Aria's Top Ten Nurses 🏥
because sitting in the hospital for hours on end is boring so we make dumb little lists to pass the time which you absolutely do not have to read lol
(cw: theres a photo of an IV line in my arm under the cut)
#10 - Gary (vascular access technician)
ultimate gruff old dad. excellent banter. always tells me to keep out of trouble when he's done setting my lines. finger guns for days. he's only coming in 10th bc he tried to convince me to get a permanent line fitted and the concept of that terrifies me (hence why i have instead opted for over a hundred individual injections to date)
#9 - Cincy (chemo ward nurse)
incredibly soft spoken. shy to the point of painful. apologises for everything. she was there on the day of the pincushion tally high score, and even though my veins have recovered a lot since then, she always has a look of fear in her eyes when she goes to set my lines. I'm sorry Cincy, please stop being so scared of me.
#8 - Olivia (chemo ward nurse)
peak tsundere ice queen. super pretty. magically long black hair. has never smiled in her life. pretty sure she secretly enjoys inflicting pain on people, because she always sets the cannula in my cephalic vein (beneath the thumb on the side of the wrist) to "give my dorsal arch veins some time to recover" and HOLY FUCK THEY HURT. one time she laughed* at one of my jokes and it was the best day of my life.
*it was a begrudging huff of air through her nose and then she rolled her eyes, but it counts dammit.
#7 - Claire (clinic nurse)
tiny Irish lady. always got too much on her plate. why does she run everywhere. always makes me giggle when she does my obs and pre-checks bc my meds sound funny when you say them with an Irish accent. Claire please sit down for like 10 minutes, i beg, you're making me tired.
#6 - Kelly (chemo ward nurse)
only been my nurse once or twice, but i do remember that one time she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she started choking and had to excuse herself, and the resultant ego boost has shot her up to place #6 on this list
#5 - Warren (vascular access technician)
OMFG Warren you pretty motherfucker. why are so many of these nurses in their late twenties/early thirties and ludicrously hot? this guy looked at me with his big brown eyes and soothing voice, held my hand while he applied some anaesthetic and told me "that's it, good, you're doing so well love". Warren how do you expect me not to fall in love with you??? that is EXACTLY how Vidya got me
#4 - Jax (chemo ward nurse)
i met them on their first day in the chemo ward. they were just supposed to be observing that day -- unfortunately what they observed was the pincushion tally high score. Sorry Jax.
(i.e. they witnessed Cincy and Farah puncturing the ever loving fuck out of my every available vein, failing to set line after line, apologising to me profusely over the course of like half an hour, and then the vascular access team coming in to rescue us all and set my line via ultrasound instead.)
that was a fun one lol.
#3 - Vidya (chemo ward nurse)
the one, the only, my actual wife!!!! 💖🌈 im half convinced she was the product of a fever dream, because one: how is this woman both fucking gorgeous and SO sweet and caring? and two: her shifts have changed and i barely see her these days. Come back Vidya i miss you 😭😭😭
#2 - Farah (chemo ward nurse)
another super pretty nurse! was delighted when i told her tumblr was still a thing. unironically says "slay" and "omg yass!". compliments my outfits without fail every time i go in for treatments. got extremely excited the first time she set a canula in one go after the pincushion tally high score debacle, and then told me "damn girl, you traumatised me that day" lol. Sorry Farah
#1 - Tori (chemo ward nurse)
Tori is my BRO. our banter game is excellent. (she's also super pretty lol). always tells me when there is good shit in the fridge. been my nurse so often that she just feels like a pal. sneaks into the admin office to make sure my appointments are at lunchtime or later (instead of like 8am) whenever she can. once told me it was her opinion as a medical professional that i should treat myself to bubble tea and ice cream.
Congrats Tori, you win the nurse rankings and my entire heart forever!! 💖💖💖
(but so does Vidya bc I am a fucking simp for that woman lbr)
#aria pincushion tally:#106#tldr:#Vidya super hot#but Olivia Warren Farah and Tori are all really pretty too#i flirt with them for self care lol#also i am so touched that you remember when my treatments are 🥺#why are you the sweetest ever#this is the dumbest list i have ever made lmao
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it's an absurdly hot day so my fiance and I finally went out for my celebratory "I've been doing chemo for so long that I've officially suffered through 100 injections" ice cream!!
(Got distracted by a food truck parked up at the waterfront on the way to the ice cream parlor. Dude in there was selling churros and belting some old Spanish ballad. So now I have churros and ice cream)
Also we just saw a pod of like 20 dolphins!!! And there's a dude down here playing bagpipes!!!
Good day happy day i am covered in sugar 😊🍦
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oml im sat in the chemo ward attempting to finish writing this chapter one handed bc my iv is in a super weird spot today and i can't use both hands
this is gonna take forever lmaoooo 😭😭😭😭
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