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lovelyjasmari · 1 month

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Sweet Dreams for a Fair Queen aka VIL GET BEHIND ME

Hello everyone!

Currently, I’m still working on my addendum to my pomefiore arc analysis with the new content from the most recent JP update. I’m still waiting for all the translations to come in but I’m hoping to have it done by Monday or Tuesday. Honestly, I found that there is SO MUCH going on in this most recent update both good and bad. Too much to include in this addendum. Hence this separate post.

Ironically, while my analysis was mainly focused on Vil and how he sees himself, the one thing from the most recent update that really needed a separate post was Vil himself. In this most recent update, we see the dreams of Vil, Epel, and Rook. I might talk about Epel’s later, and I’m saving Rook's for the addendum. But Vil’s…my god…SO MUCH to unpack, and unfortunately, none of it is good.

I don’t know if Yana was hit with a crowbar and developed amnesia while writing, or if she realized she did too good a job portraying the tragedy of Vil’s arc and had to backpedal, or if Disney took issue with Vil being too sympathetic because this is still a game based on villains. Either way, the way Vil is portrayed in his dream is SUCH a departure from his actual personality and morals that it bordered like a parody. His cruelty to Neige, how he spoke to Yuu and the others, and his generally conceded personality might be how a good deal of the fandom sees him, but this was NOT the true Vil Scheonheit we have come to know over the last four years.

Unfortunately, Vil’s dream seems to have done even more damage to how this fucking fandom views him. I’ve seen many posts here and on the bird app saying how Vil’s dream proves his cruel personality isn’t just headcanon and that he is not beating the mean girl allegations anymore. It’s extremely upsetting because it’s true. Honestly, Vil is NOT beating the allegations and this time, it’s canon that is fucking him over. But before we dive deeper, and before I get too heated again, let’s look at Vil’s dream and how and why it goes against his established character so terribly. Finally, I will share with you all my own ideas of how I imagine Vil’s perfect dream would ACTUALLY play out. Obviously, spoilers ahead for the most recent update.

~~~

First, let’s quickly assess Vil’s character, to better understand why I’m so pissed. As a dorm leader, Vil is meticulous, tenacious and VERY altruistic. He genuinely cares for his dorm mates (and seems to have a soft spot for all the freshmen) and wants to see them become better people. And he goes to great lengths to see this through. Sometimes his methods come off as harsh and overwhelming but at some point even his most disgruntled subordinates come to understand why Vil is the way he is.

Another thing about Vil is he often, willingly, bears financial burdens in order to help those around him. He’s gifted cosmetics to other students and he willingly paid the VDC prize money to his fellow members and Yuu because he felt personally responsible for their loss and that wasn’t a small price tag. And when Yuu, Ace, Jamil and Azul accompanied him to Fairest City in the Tapis Rouge event, it can be assumed that Vil footed the bill for their transportation, logging, their dinner at the fancy restaurant AND the couture outfits they wore.

Despite coming from wealth, I imagine Vil’s wealth isn’t limitless like Kalim’s so to spend so much money on your classmates, and not expecting anything in return, speaks volumes about Vil’s selflessness and nobility. And because Vil’s wealth isn’t limitless, it makes his actions all the more meaningful.

As an actor, he is equally tenacious but more importantly, desires that ALL his success come from his own efforts and not because he’s the son of such a famous actor and producer. To the point Vil went to the length of actually changing his legal last name to further distance himself from Eric’s legacy. It would be so easy for Vil to coast off his father’s success. Eric could probably secure for his son any role that he wants, including the heroic one that Vil so deeply desires. But such would be going against every value Vil holds and would open him up to accusations of nepotism. Further adding to the villainous image the public falsely has of him.

And as for his dynamic with Epel, I know this is an unpopular opinion but the way Vil treats him is NOT abusive. I understand there is a cultural aspect to Vil’s issue with Epel’s speech patterns that was made worse by how EN translated it but even with that in mind, Vil’s demands aren’t really that unreasonable. He makes it clear from the jump that he takes no issue with his dialect and it could be argued that Vil being so hard on him is out of care for Epel. What do you think would have happened if Epel took up such an attitude with any other NRC student? He would regularly be getting his ass beat and Vil is trying to prevent that. Honestly I have a lot of opinions on Vil’s dynamic with Epel but they’ll have to wait for another time.

And even then, it’s been implied a few times that Vil tries to help Epel out in ways that Epel doesn’t completely hate. Even if Vil doesn’t approve of Epel’s misogyny, he does accept his interests and understands he desire to be stronger. It’s further implied in Epel’s dorm vignette when Vil tasks him with creating the magical wheel for his film project because he knows that Epel would enjoy it.

So as we can see, Vil is probably one of the more upstanding characters in twst. His crimes, if you can call them that, can mostly be regulated by misunderstandings and he actually ends up subverting many of the expectations we’d have for a character type like his. Even when he overblots, how it happens is so removed from the other overblots (and even the ones that come after) that it’s actually incredibly tragic.

Now, let’s look at how Vil is portrayed in his perfect dream world.

Terribly, to put it lightly. Though I understand now one of the reasons we got the Tapis Rouge event. Anyway, in Vil’s dream, he’s still a mega famous actor, beloved by many fans. The main difference between this and real life is Vil himself. When away from his adoring fans, he’s shown to be conceited, arrogant and mean spirited. He speaks very insultingly to Yuu and the other characters and even threatens to curse them as well. Neige is also his assistant in this dream and Vil is downright abusive to him. Even Miranda Priestly was a kinder boss to Andy than Vil is to Neige here.

Later when Yuu and co attempt to wake Vil up, he ends up having another dream of the VDC. In this one, Vil actually SUCCEEDS in poisoning Neige, resulting in NRC Tribe taking first place. Despite the fact that this again goes against every value Vil holds and it was actually his guilt of what he could have done to Neige that caused his overblot in the first place. And despite the fact that Vil would be revolted at VDC victory at such a cost. EVEN MORE than if he had won with their imperfect performance.

All in all, he seems more like a caricature of his archetype than the actual kind and complex character he actually is. The complete opposite of EVERYTHING we’ve seen from Vil thus far. Naturally, I took great issue with this, not only because this just feeds into the fandom’s misconceptions of Vil, but because it’s just not accurate. AT ALL! THIS IS LIKE A BAD FUCKING FANFICTION!

Okay, okay, before I get too hot under the collar, let me actually explain why this is such an awful portrayal of a character I hold so dear to my heart.

Departure from his canon personality: Despite being a famous actor and model celebrated for his incredible beauty, Vil is actually a very humble person. His nature is not naturally mean-spirited, and he’s not a spoiled brat. Even when people piss him off, he’ll make his displeasure known; make no mistake about that! But he’s always respectful and, in the instance during the Tapis Rouge event, sometimes even encouraging. Above everything else, Vil is never harder on people than he is on himself.

Oversimplifying/invalidating his disdain for Neige: Now I understand that Neige being Vil’s abused assistant is a reference to Snow White being the Evil Queen’s scullery maid. But based on everything we know and have seen from both Vil and Neige, the reference does a disservice to both their characters. I would even argue if the reference was really needed in the first place because Vil’s disdain for Neige was never so simple as just petty jealousy. There is an actual, unfair dichotomy between them that places Neige above Vil in the eyes of people like Rook and, ultimately, the public at large. Vil has every right to resent this and were he treated more fairly, he might even be more kindly disposed towards Neige. Because Vil isn’t a petty person. Neige clearly admires Vil and Vil at least respects Neige but the dichotomy between them unfortunately prevents them from having a healthier dynamic. I don’t know if this will make sense but I don’t believe Vil hates Neige, what he hates is what he represents.

Disney vs Yana: Now, I wanna preface what I’m about to say next as it being COMPLETELY speculation of my own. I have no hand in creating twst and have no idea what goes into it beyond what Yana talks or tweets about. But I’ve always felt that Disney takes issue with their more heroic characters portrayed in a morally gray light. It would explain why we haven’t seen Prince Rielle, why we haven’t seen Farena despite there being a whole ass Sunset Savanna event, and why everything about Neige’s character actually works against him and why he should be seen as the fairest one of all. In this case, I wonder if Vil’s ooc dream could have resulted from Disney meddling. It wouldn’t be the first time something like this happened in a game Disney has a creative hand in; anyone who is a Kingdom Hearts fan and played KH3 knows this all too well. If that’s the case, this actually makes me extremely worried when we see the future overblotee dreams. ESPECIALLY Jamil’s dream, if you know, you know.

For the most part, those are all the things I disliked about Vil’s dream. But now, in the interest of not ending this post on a completely sour note, let me paint for you all a picture. Two in fact since Vil had two different dreams in canon.

Scenario 1: Vil never sees Neige’s VDC rehearsal. He and his teammates review the rehearsal footage as he originally intended, and he’s not put in a position to be retraumatized again. So he doesn’t overblot and instead, NRC Tribe gives a perfect performance through and through. Even when Vil does see Neige on stage, he knows he’s given the best performance he can and still votes for his team. NRC Tribe wins and Vil is celebrated for his incredible talent and absolutely beautiful dedication. The first step in Vil finally seeing himself with value outside the villainous persona people have projected upon him.

Scenario 2: This one I like a little better. Soon after graduation, Vil is offered the lead role in the Legendary Sword sequel Adela tried to sign him up for in Book 5. He plays the role of the heroic prince phenomenally and people are wowed by how much tenacity he brings to the role. As a heroic prince, he's charming and snarky, no-nonsense but with a heart of gold. Bringing a lot of his personality to the role but in a way that makes the audience relate with him regardless of his otherworldly beauty. Proving that he has what it takes to be a hero and stand on the stage until the end, he ALWAYS had was it takes. Neige would still exist in his perfect dream world and may still be in the film. Not as a rival/villain, though, but maybe as a supporting character. But with Vil finally getting the recognition he deserves, his dynamic with Neige would likely become healthier over time.

In both scenarios, Vil would still be compelled to face his overblot phantom but things would be very different than how they went down in canon. After Yuu and co attempt to wake Vil up, he would be taken by the darkness and then come face to face with his phantom but rather than the phantom blaming Neige for everything, it would despair in its ugliness and how he can never be the fairest one of all. Not because of Neige, but because of his “ugly” feelings that compelled him to want to poison Neige in the first place.

Now, I personally feel like Vil’s canon dream is incredibly ooc for him. But if I must accept it, the only way I can interpret it is as being a result of Vil’s more ugly subconscious feelings. His jealousy of Neige and the “ugly” feeling that Neige must be put down in order for Vil to rise on top. That is the ONLY way I can consider this even a little in character for Vil but regardless , in my version, Vil would have to face all of those feelings head on.

Upon seeing his phantom’s sorrow, something would click in Vil that would make him realize that he was never ugly simply for having ugly emotions. That’s what makes him human and he shouldn’t be punished himself for that. Vil would tell his phantom that he’s not ugly and while desiring to poison Neige was abhorrent, that is not who Vil truly is. Reminding himself of the true nobility of his character. However, the phantom would still cry and even try to attack Vil for “lying” to him, attempting to consume Vil in the blot and saying it will consume everything so it can be the fairest one of all.

But this time, Vil would be strong enough to face those ugly emotions and that’s when he would overblot again.

There would still be a fight for gameplay reasons. But instead of Vil realizing he’s a terrible person deep down and “accepting” his dark, evil nature, he would instead comfort the phantom after weakening it. As the phantom fades, it would still weep at its ugliness but Vil would reiterate to him over and over again that he’s not ugly and while doing so, realizing himself that he isn’t ugly either simply for having ugly feelings and desires. What makes a person truly ugly is acting on those ugly emotions. Vil doesn’t have to always be perfect, he just has to be the best person he can be. But in being the best person he can, continually perusing his true definition of beauty, holding on to his values and never compromising them, can Vil truly be the fairest one of all.

Damn…why am I crying?! 😭

That would not only be such a great message but considering how subversive Vil’s overblot was from the start, would be very in keeping with the themes of Vil’s character arc. It would be the first step forward in repairing Vil’s broken self esteem. Unfortunately, this is not what we got but considering how it seems that Vil is still internalizing a lot of toxic things about himself, it’s heartbreaking, but understandable. But I’ll talk more about that in the upcoming addendum.

In the end, Vil is an incredibly tragic and misunderstood character, probably the most misunderstood character in twst after Kalim. And unfortunately, this most recent JP update did little to help his case. But either way, I at least hope I did an adequate job at explaining why. And I hope that in the future, Vil’s complexities are more accepted and acknowledged. By both the fandom and the canon.

#twisted wonderland #twst book 7 #twst jp spoilers #twst book 7 spoilers #pomefiore #jas reads twst #shut up jas #vil schoenheit

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barelynotsinking · 8 months

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Gen V theories

Memory Loss:

I don't think it was rufus, it is too obvious and also he said that "it wasn't what it looked like" which I am skeptical of because he was LITERALLY NAKED, and is sooooooooooo slimy, but it is so obvious that I think they might do an expectation subversion and have him have a part of the puzzle. Hes been getting a lot of pointless attention, nothing he has done so far has furthered the plot despite getting so much screentime, so I think he'll be more important in the future (and probably pissed at Marie).

I am suspicious of the dean, tek knight said she doesnt have powers but it seems like the kind of thing she'd hide (victoria nueman style). Even if she doesn't have powers she has plenty of supes at her disposal. Doctor Cardoza seemed a bit too wimpy to mind wipe them. She seems to have a lot of secrets, and is the one who is gonna take the fall for Sam, so despite her soft spot for Marie (is it real? idk but it seems sweet for now) she'd still do that.

It would make the most sense if it was all of them were mindwiped because then giving them amnesia would serve the purpose of having them all forget about Sam.

Working off the theory that it was all of them I dont think it was cate, its been established that pushing to many people tire her out and she has been over working herself.

Jordan/Marie

Marie is full on gay panicking, and I don't think she would've ever been in a proper relationship before given her childhood which adds another layer of shit into their relationship. Its gonna be rocky for a bit, but I think that they won't break up because of Jordans gender. Their flirting in the hallway and also their general vibe makes me think she is attracted to them, and she doesn't seem like the kind of person who would run from that, but idk, my point is i dont think she's straight.

Jordan is prob panicking about if Marie is straight, given that they switched genders, which makes sense, would also indicate that they geniunely like her.

Jordan doesn't seem like an asshole to me they just seem introverted and very driven, Marie just met them in the worst possible circumstance where their goals were incompatable but I don't think they are.

Marie's sister

there is a chance she could have powers, the parents did it for her so why not her sister too, there is the question of why it didnt manifest by then, but maybe powers are genetic so they developed late like marie's

maybe she went to the woods like sam

Cate lying about Sam

I think maybe her and luke were actually both mind wiped, luke got really upset when he found out sam was being hidden, maybe both he and cate were brainwashed to forget.

#gen v #gen v spoilers #marie moreau #jordan li #the boys tv #gen v episode 4 #gen v episode 5

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skayafair · 3 months

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Petulant Children

Apparently I have an especially soft spot for insufferable kids characters who are in fact just... lost, aren't treated properly by their parents or sort of remotely parental figures and go completely south as a result?

Like Yellow from Malevolent or Jamie from Give Me Away.

Because they behave like they are terrible (and that's the opinion of other characters, too) but in fact they aren't bad at all?

(Funny thing is that they both are from podcasts about headmates of sorts.)

I don't think I need to say anything about Yellow (but of course I'm still going to). It's not exactly a "parent-child" situation and I actually hate the implication that Arthur shaped him completely (and Larson just continued to hone the traits he needed). Like hello, even with amnesia there was some personality in there, Yellow just didn't have enough time to sit and take everything in, gain various experiences to make more informed judgement. John did have this time while Arthur was in a coma. He had time ON HIS OWN to remember and process himself (not as in remember his past - just... himself, what kind of a person he feels he is and what he wants). Yes the result changed him into something completely new but some core things like curiousity stayed intact. He can still be violent, he's still very much murder happy if it means survival, he snaps easily, and he hates lying. Everything that made the King - the King, a dangerous and at times vicious god, is still there. He only changed the point of view, and the rest followed.

Yellow didn't have this opportunity. Arthur was snapping at him and telling him what he was supposed to be (and failed time and again) all the time, cutting many curious questions short (Arthur really is father of the year huh), so any positive traits - positive, joyful for Yellow himself - didn't have much room to grow. Hatred, though... and then there was Larson who didn't even have to make much effort manipulating his rage and hurt to get what he wanted. It's not every day you get to use an eldritch god, amirite? Gods I hate Larson so much

So what do you get when one doesn't remember his past, only some very, very terrible and frightening things he managed to escape, then he's constantly berated, and when he rightfully feels fury, it's being fueled more and more, - AND not a moment to himself, on his own? Exactly. Yellow does say and do terrible things, but... it's not because he's evil or vicious. He's conditioned to behave this way.

Now, to Give Me Away.

Jamie in ep 9 (I'm in the middle of it but needed to dump my thoughts and emotions somewhere first because there were too many) acted completely on impulse, I get it, and it's more because she wants to be a hero and by that to prove to her mom and sibling and to everyone else she is as good as Thalia or even BETTER. I know. It's a very selfish impulse. But it a) doesn't change the fact that she's still trying to save everyone's lives and b) values her life LESS than validation from her family and people around, and this is fucking tragic. I just want to hug this kid (yes I'm 31 so I'm allowed to say a 22 yo is a kid, more so when she behaves like one) and get her some therapy, gods know she needs it (and will probably resist kicking and screaming so she needs to see the necessity herself first).

I mean. Whatever the reasoning, she can still die.

And yet she's going along with the plan.

Although she's really her father's daughter, and I'd say she at least developed SOME spite. Graham is so detached I have to wonder at times if he's even there at all, it feels like most the time he would be happy to surrender the body and mind to Joshua completely, unless one of the triggers like Jamie is up. The way it feels... Graham wouldn't mind being in a computer, probably. Just exploring stuff and thinking it over. He already spent most the time inside his head by the time of the divorce. He's pretty desperate because he doesn't know what to do with his life, to the point when it feels like he doesn't want to live all that much in general but dying is a bit extra for him, too. One of the rare cases when I want to say "Grow some balls ffs!" but then can't get rid if the thought that if he did he might have killed himself, which is... no.

Jamie is wrecking havoc wherever she goes, appears to not care about morals much, but in fact she's just as empty inside and desperate to be SOMETHING, something meaningful. Graham finds fulfilment in his inner values, so he actually doesn't care much what everyone else thinks - as long as it's meaningful enough by his own standards, it's enough. Jamie seeks outside approval. In any case, they both are wrecked mentally.

Having BPD, I know how it feels. I really feel for them both, their cases are pretty extreme exactly because they didn't find the ways? didn't search? didn't have an opportunity? to fix those neural paths to fill the yearning void inside in a non-harmful way. That's why their cases are tragic to me. Instead of making their choice out of pure moral values and desire to save others they want to save themselves this way. Only it isn't gonna work.

The more I listened, the more the pressure inside grew: I want to scream at Graham sometimes that he's not getting better this way, he's only digging his pit much, much deeper. And now Jamie does the same, although in a different way. They both don't need to do what they are doing, they need help. It's painful to listen.

I don't know why Give Me Away strikes me so much. I didn't have such a visceral emotional reaction to stories for quite a while.

Also Joshua should be thankful for Graham because he really needed that mental slap. Being too full of himself is a road to ruin, and his hubris can bury not just himself but all his people along with him, and then some.

#malevolent podcast #john malevolent #john doe malevolent #yellow malevolent #give me away podcast

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stormxpadme · 8 months

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Whumptober 2023 No. 17 - Collar

Scogan Bingo challenge Dessert

That this mission would be an ugly one had been clear from the moment, Scott had learned, Marie and Logan had been kidnapped right off the damn street by some Weapon X goons, of all people, effectively ruining what should have been these two's first mission together after Marie's official appointment to the team. Some kind of trauma waiting for everyone involved at the end of that day? That had been a no-brainer, really. No matter how much Marie had been working her ass off since Alkali Lake to become a valuable fighter in Scott's group and though he was perfectly aware, she would happily suck the life out of him with her bare hand in a death grip around his balls if he'd ever admitted that to her face … That girl still was half a teenager.

Especially after losing a woman Scott had loved to this fucking job not too long ago, it had taken a lot of convincing from both Charles and Logan until he'd reluctantly given in regarding filling Jean's spot among the X-Men with some fresh blood as it was, painfully aware that sooner or later, that would not only be a figure of speech. Naïve as he sometimes still was, even after 15 years in the field, he'd just hoped to have at least a couple of months to go without another catastrophe. After almost running himself entirely into the ground following Jean's demise, barely saved from that particular abyss by a certain other team member whom he'd lately come unexpectedly close to … All Scott needed right now was a fucking break. Sadly, the life of a superhero was rarely considerate of such childish hopes. There was a lot of disillusioning terror about to unload onto their newest fellow warrior; Scott had no illusions about that when he gathered his people in the Blackbird that afternoon, starting up the engines hectically. Cursing under his breath, he followed the path of their missing team members' tracker signals quickly moving north on one monitor with his gaze while maneuvering his beloved jet out of the hangar so quickly, he almost grazed the not-quite-yet open hatch with one wing. Ororo's disapproving frown from the co-pilot seat, he regarded only with a tense shrug. With how things had gone between Logan and him in the last few months, the others probably thought this development was why Scott found it increasingly hard to keep his usual cool about leaving for another possibly deadly quest, and in the very place where Logan had once been tortured beyond comparison and where the X-Men had suffered their worst blow so far no less. But that wasn’t why Scott had to clench his hand so exaggeratedly hard around the stick that day, to hide even from his own blurred sight how much it was shaking.

Logan came with the powers, and in spite of his ongoing amnesia with the experience, too, to deal with another few hours in this insane people's horror cabinet. Scott had spent enough nights lately, holding and talking his partner through one of his PTSD attacks after particularly bad nightmares to be certain of that.

Marie, for reasons of her skin-reactionary mutation alone, would have no one to comfort her like this if this whole thing went as Scott feared, especially not since Bobby had fucked off to run and live alone after Alkali Lake, breaking all those big promises he'd made to the girl about being able to deal with her gift beforehand. The only other person Marie was really close to was probably just being cut into neat little pieces right in front of her eyes, up there in that damn rebuilt Alkali Lake facility. Goddamnit, just when Scott had thought he couldn’t hate these bastards and their whole inhumane illegal experiment fetish even more.

"Focus, my young Captain," a sonorous voice from the seat behind him warned him, a broad blue paw coming to rest on his shoulder when Scott had to correct the jet's position for the fourth time within ten minutes because he just couldn’t concentrate on the radar properly. "It's only been an hour since we got the alert from their car. And their vehicles don’t fly with Shi’ar tech. It's perfectly possible we'll arrive there before they do. We can still get them out of there in time." As so often, the level-headed, analytic mind of a long-lost-thought former team member who had been doing a great job replacing Jean at least in the sick bay after Alkali Lake, helped Scott clear the disturbing fog of his emotions as well. Aim that energy he'd need to come up with a suitable plan as soon as they would be able to tell how much had changed at those damn laboratories since their last disastrous visit there. With a little grimace, he shook out his arm when he realized how tensely he'd really been holding on to that damn stick, an old sting throbbing in his shoulder from some sparring less than a week ago with Marie when she'd almost ripped his damn arm from his socket.

No, physically there was little doubt, the group's rookie would be doing hopefully okay in a confrontation with an unknown number of hostiles. But the biggest traces Logan had walked away with from his own encounters with these psychos were famously located on his soul, and not only because his healing factor rarely allowed scarring.

With a sigh, Scott finally gave in to Ororo's impatient gesture from the neighboring chair and swiped over the brightly blinking display combination that would sign the navigation over to her console. An hour of sitting on the floor cross-legged somewhere in the rear should hopefully ban these useless considerations from his mind. Meditation was something he'd never used to believe in before getting together in some loose relationship with a certain feral, of all people. But something that helped keep even Logan's sometimes so untamable instincts in check probably couldn’t hurt, Scott's own betimes over-obsessive brain stay on the correct course. "You know, I told her I'd only give her one of those uniforms if she was sure she wouldn’t come to regret it. It's not only been six damn weeks."

Ororo reached out to stop him by his wrist when he moved to get up, regarding him with a patient headshake. "We were all surprised you made it through six weeks of her nagging and complaining before you sent her off to that recruitment run with Logan. The guy's been watching your depressed butt ever since our last mission at this place, Scott. He was there when I was certain for weeks after we lost Jean, that I'd find you drowned in your own vodka vomit and tears one morning." Almost a year, and there was still that suspiciously rough tone in Ororo's bright voice at the mention of her best friend's name, that vengeful stare in her black eyes that she tried to hide in vain behind her long white fringe before pulling herself together and turning back to the controls, to Scott's reflection mirrored in them. "I have no idea how he did that, but don’t you think you can trust him to be her shield, too?"

"No idea how he does it either," Scott gave back with a slightly embarrassed shrug, realizing Logan's and his occasional nightly visits in each other's apartments on the teacher's floor had gone even less unnoticed than they'd half and half hoped. Not that Scott had ever been bothered a lot by people gossiping about his love life. He'd honestly had worse headlines. Besides, right now, he'd even put up happily about some think piece regarding Logan's and his alleged kink preferences in the goddamn Daily Bugle if only that meant he wouldn’t have to read a damn obituary or two there tomorrow instead. "Let's just hope, with her, he won't have to. We've left enough blood in that damn lake, 'Ro."

"No more." Ororo squeezed his arm for another brief moment and then released him with a vague nod backward so that he could find the desired few minutes of peace before the new action and drama to be expected.

*****

"I got them." Scott wasn’t sure Ororo and Hank would even be able to hear him over all that screaming, the gunshots, and pained yells – the latter fortunately only from the enemies' side – that he could make out through the open radio line. For now, it didn’t matter either. Too relieved he was that apparently, all that fretting and self-blame over his latest staff decision had been for nothing, as he strode further into the room, locking the door behind him once he was sure he was alone with his missing teammates. A single look at their restrained, partly battered shapes was enough to know, Scott would need all the time he'd asked Ororo and Hank to buy him to free the others, after they'd already wasted far too much of it, making their way into the newly constructed labyrinth of their destination's underground passages unseen. It was both better and worse than he'd feared; Scott already made a mental note that he'd probably have to spend the next few days in Logan's apartment nonstop, making sure that this new most unpleasant encounter with his lover's worst enemies wouldn’t be haunting Logan too badly at night.

But from all he could see in the dark of that moldy cell that the strong flashlight from Scott's belt couldn’t help much, those sick bastards had at least indeed only tried to get through to Logan with their usual primitive methods. Trying to win him back for their psychotic causes once again probably, until the X-Men's arrival had interrupted their sick fetishes. And these assholes hadn’t even given their favorite prisoner a goddamn break when swarming out to try and rid their precious facility of the intruders.

But Marie's bent-over shape, chained to some hook in the ceiling, seemed unmarred at least. Her lips were bleeding a little from where they were stretched by a too-large gag, and her beautiful dark brown eyes were wide open, filled with a hint of fear that Scott had not seen in her in a long time. But her uniform had no tears, her stubborn movements as she tried to free herself from the cuffs around her wrists revealed no impairment of any kind. Only the same broad, red blinking collar around her neck that endangered Logan significantly prevented her from using that super strength she'd recently acquired after touching one of her accidental victims for too long.

All in all, the whole thing was a valuable lesson for both of them regarding the respect for a deadly job and the faith in one's teammates, Scott thought bitterly, as he signaled Marie to stay put, after making sure with a quick Shi’ar signal scanner from his belt there were no cameras or microphones in the room alerting unwanted company anytime soon. He'd have loved to get the girl out of that uncomfortable strappado position immediately, a sight promptly provoking a painful phantom twinge in Scott's own shoulders. For all their bloodlust and ruthlessness, these Weapon X bastard sure as fucked lacked creativity. But freeing Logan from his painful predicament took priority. At least if Scott wanted his lover to walk out of these damn halls on his own two legs. Therefore reluctantly ignoring the headshake from Marie and the muffled whine from her lips, Scott bent over the examination table that Logan was being tied to, seemingly entirely out of it, and rested his hand on his lover's forehead, worried to find it not only bathed in sweat but far too hot.

These fuckers must have cut Logan's femoral artery open a few minutes ago already. Cut – butchered, literally, whole pieces of his flesh ripped from his side and his leg as if someone had torn it out with their bare hands …

For a second time today, Scott had to push deeply rooted hatred and panicked worry back into the furthest corner of his soul lest he'd just rip his VISOR off and shoot a long, deadly blast through this whole damn facility, making these bastards pay for what they kept doing in particular to the man he loved. Not now.

The rest of Logan's uniform at least was still somewhat intact, no other injuries being apparent that Scott could make out at first glance. It was only a matter of picking the lock of that damn inhibitor collar, then those gruesome wounds would close within seconds. By the time Scott would be finished with doing the same for Marie, guy would be back on his feet already, from all Scott had ever seen of that impressive healing factor.

Then they could regroup with the others and get the hell out of here, preferably after blowing this damn facility to fucking pieces for a second time …

"Hands off, Slim."

Scott's fingertips hadn’t even grazed the collar when Logan's voice unexpectedly had him startle back. His limited vision in combination with the bad lighting in here had tricked him. His lover sounded far more awake than anyone with so little blood in their body should be. "Lie still. I'll get you out." He held Logan down by his shoulder when his lover weakly started to struggle against the cuffs around his blood-covered wrists, cranking his head away from Scott with a warning hiss.

"You don't want to touch that," Logan snarled, his eyes darting over to that corner where Marie was cowering, wide with worry for someone he cared for a lot …

And only now Scott realized, he'd got it all wrong a second time. Logan wasn’t the one whose life was in danger. "What does it do?"

"Lock's connected by radio to some switch in the kid's collar. You open it, blades inside that thing will cut her head off. You better be fucking quick, Slim. No idea if that damn mechanism's got a remote ignition, too." Unlike Scott, Logan didn’t even try to keep his increasingly slurred words to a muffled volume not to frighten their young teammate – that was long yesterday's news. They were far beyond sugarcoating. "Forget it," he snapped at Scott when Scott regarded his dangerous injuries with another restless glance, rummaging in his belt for something to at least slow those terrible bleedings down. "Get her out of that thing, now. You hesitate, people die. We don’t wanna learn that lesson around here a second time."

Scott hated Logan for conjuring up that one, that worst pain in his soul in that crucial moment of an impossible decision of all times, and at the same time wanted to kiss those too-dry, insolent lips, out of pure relief that they still could spew that necessary lesson. And out of gratefulness for a much-needed kick in the ass. Sadly, there was no time for that right now either. Not even for using the couple of tools he'd come up with from his belt by the time he knelt down next to Marie, carefully coaxing her to lift her head as much as the painful bondage allowed, making use of her suppressed powers for a brief, soothing caress over her far too-cold hands. With how little he was seeing in here and no idea how the trigger for those deadly weapons he could all but see embedded inside that far too thick collar, was connected to the lock, it was a guessing game, opening that thing without making exactly the wrong movement. "Yeah, this is not gonna work. I have to find a key for this thing."

"By the time you do, we'll both be ghosted," Logan stopped him as sharply as he could still manage with how alarmingly quickly his strength was leaving him. "Or we'll all be particle dust because these lunatics will rather blow this whole facility up a second time with everyone in it than waste a chance to get rid of some of the most powerful of us. Just shoot the damn thing in two, Slim."

"You want me to shoot at her neck." Scott's stomach promptly clenched even worse than this noon when they'd learned about their teammates' dangerous fate.

A disbelieving glance at Logan's ashen, pained grimace sadly had him suspect, that had not been an especially tasteless joke. Bleeding out from a dozen spots at once, even a Wolverine obviously lost his humor. "The collar, not her neck if it's not asked too much," Logan growled at him through his arduous, worryingly slow breathing. "Quit the drama and move, Slim. We're short on time."

"Logan, I can impossibly …" Scott paused, at a total loss, and not only because several, terribly familiar kind of vibrations and the noise of small explosions in the neighboring hallways revealed, they would indeed have to hurry. When Logan just glared at him from his stretcher with feverish eyes and he turned his gaze back to Marie, he was staring into still scared-looking but very determined, flashing pupils, a challenging, impatient nod downward at that damn collar following that was just waiting to kill this damn kid cowering there right in front of Scott …

Only Marie was no longer a kid, hadn’t been for a while. She was a confident young woman early weathered by her burdening mutation and all the losses and tragedies she'd had to encounter since coming to live with Charles. And even on days like this when all the weight of this dangerous job was on her thin shoulders, she was less intimidated than even Scott himself. Marie had faced and beaten death too often already to not flip it off in good old Logan-style when it reached out its spidery hand for her neck, literally.

"Keep away from the blade mechanism," Logan urged him again, seeing Scott fight his inhibition reluctantly. "Breaking piece should be at the back of her neck. Low-pressure blast. You don’t want to shatter her spine. Don't!" he interrupted Scott sharply before he'd even taken a breath, his fingertips leaving the control wheel of his VISOR again already. Logan's voice was shaking dangerously as the exhaustion of his lousy condition threatened to drain his strength. "Christ, Slim, I've seen you coring apples for the kids at breakfast with that damn thing on your eyes. You never got any of your people killed. You're not gonna break that streak now," he added quietly, the never-forgotten grief choking him for a moment that they'd bonded over so deeply back then. Enough for Logan to know exactly what was haunting Scott so much in these moments when maybe for the first time in the field at all, he felt afraid. "Now."

Before he could hesitate for another second and be responsible for them all biting it, because someone in the control center of that damn lab would lose it, Scott reached for his VISOR again and took his shot.

****

"I told you I'm not hungry." Grumbling, Logan turned away from the bedroom door and buried his face in his pillow, apparently determined to continue being an ass about his weakened condition after already refusing to let Hank put him on a drip on the flight home or check up on him on the sick bay.

In this case, Scott had the best arguments to convince his lover to let himself be spoiled though, whether Logan liked it or not. "Marie spent two hours in the kitchen, cooking for you. She said to tell you, if she doesn’t see an empty plate on this tray tomorrow morning, she'll choke you back out personally."

"Kid's spending too much time with me." Indeed, Logan sounded amused more than cranky at once. With a still unnerved sigh, he arduously sat up a little on the mattress, regarding Scott with a withering glance when he stacked a couple of pillows in his back, which Scott masterfully ignored.

Demonstratively, he put down that tray on his lover's legs and pointed at the delicious-smelling grilled chicken and a whole mountain of mashed potatoes, both basically drowning in a whole bottle of BBQ sauce. "Help yourself. Dessert's on me, by the way."

"I don't need dessert, especially not after this." Logan was too grumpy from the weakness in his reloading cells to even catch on the suggestive grin on Scott's lips. "What are you doing here anyway? It's past midnight. You got classes at eight. Get some sleep. Not gonna die on you here in the middle of the night, don’t worry."

"You should realize by now I'd not gonna let you anyway," Scott answered calmly, determined for once to not let Logan provoke him too badly, not after a day filled with so much blood and death, the latter fortunately only with regard to their enemies. Dipping one fingertip into that mess of brown and yellow on Logan's plate, he playfully licked it off to give Logan a better idea of what was to come but gestured over the still almost untouched food then, one eyebrow raised.

Logan let out a dramatic sigh and finally reached for the fork, eating away unceremoniously, quickly and silently, only occasionally throwing Scott a suspicious side glance, not quite sure what to make of his nervous fidgeting on the bed, of his occasional blush as Scott was imaging how the rest of that night would go.

The humiliating loops he'd have to jump through soon had been Marie's idea too, of course, and Scott wasn’t thrilled … But after almost having lost his lover today, he wanted to personally see to Logan being back on his feet as quickly as possible. If that included a mess that Scott's neat freak heart wouldn’t be too happy about, and feeling like an idiot for a hot minute … Well, he was pretty sure, Logan would find ways to make him forget that. Only when there was really nothing left on that plate and Logan had emptied almost the whole jug with orange juice, too, Scott got up from the bed with a satisfied nod. "I'll tell Marie you've been a good boy and see to that dessert in my apartment. Take a shower and come by in ten minutes." With a cheerful whistle, grinning to himself about Logan's increasing confusion, he went to put his plan into action.

****

Considering Logan's irritated mood, Scott wouldn’t have been surprised if his boyfriend had never shown up, but that whole truckload of carbs had apparently revived Logan's energy at least enough to spark curiosity. The rest, a surge of adrenaline seemed to do when he entered Scott's bedroom, to the sight of Scott waiting for him naked, covered in nothing but half a bottle of chocolate sauce and a bit of strategically placed whipped cream. After just staring at him with his mouth hanging open, Logan buried his face in his hands with a dry chuckle and shook his head slowly. If it hadn’t been for that quickly building tent at the front of his loose dark night pants, Scott would have had to seriously worry, he'd scared his lover off with that unbearably mushy idea.

Only when Logan looked at him again and Scott suddenly saw a suspicious glistening in those beautiful hazel eyes, he understood … And there was promptly a thick lump forming in the back of his throat as well. Neither of them said it, not yet. For that, it hadn’t been long enough yet, and they were both still processing the loss, each in their own way … But maybe knowing for sure now that they were perfectly suited to do that together, in spite of all differences, not least because they were ready to go through the necessary sacrifices for the other if necessary … That might be more than enough for the moment. "Come 'ere?"

"So that we're both gonna be a mess? Not gonna happen," Logan smirked, his cheeks increasingly flushed, that deep, determined tone creeping into his voice that Scott had very quickly learned to listen to in their nights together unless he wanted to put up a fight. Which he was rarely in the mood to.

For that, he enjoyed it far too much, handing over the reins to someone he could trust with his body and life not only in the field. Submitting, surrendering his pride, always meant a few blissful hours of forgetting everything making life so difficult for both of them, and that was all that counted. So he didn’t hesitate when Logan snapped his fingers at him, nodding at the ground before the bed, not moving an inch from his spot by the door until Scott had gotten up, his own cheeks inevitably blushing when Logan traded spots with him and he was now standing before his lover nude and decorated like this in all sticky glory.

"You keep this up, I'm gonna be too heavy for active duty soon," Logan murmured fondly, heated, another twitch of need going through that bulge at his front when he reached out to run two fingertips through that mess covering Scott's chest and licked them clean with an audible purr. "I'm gonna have to take it back though: You can cook."

"Logan …" It was impossible for Scott to keep that needy whine out of his voice, his own arousal growing by the second which only that thick, sugary mass of white all over his loins was more or less hiding. But the smallest attempt to reach out for his lover was rewarded with his wrists being caught in a firm grip by supernaturally fast reflexes, guiding him to take his hands behind his back. Right. Definitely one of those nights. "You know I'm still responsible for making you eat up, right?"

"And the best thing about that? We have all night," Logan answered unfazed, looking up at him in amusement, his eyes sparkling as he slowly licked his lips until Scott let out another low moan, his body soon shaking only from being kept waiting and tense like that, turned on more by the second by that piercing, hungry glance. "But since you did a great job today, you deserve a little treat." Unexpectedly burying his strong, large hands in Scott's bare butt cheeks, Logan licked a long, greedy stripe over his chest, and another one when Scott whimpered in want. Within seconds, he'd reduced Scott to a writhing something, never letting him out of his punishing grip as he covered every inch of his shoulders, his pecs, his stomach, with his firm, slow sucking movements, sure to clean every smallest bit of sauce off of him before finally turning to the sensitive, tender skin of his nipples.

A harsh, teasing bite drew a quiet scream from Scott's lips, his hips thrusting forward instinctively, his messy loins pressed against Logan's stomach leaving some of that half-molten, cool cream on his lover. Unable to stifle his desire any longer, Scott finally buried his trembling hands in Logan's hair, a hoarsely whispered plea on his lips, shuddering when Logan still ignored him, soothing his aching nipples with a few soft licks until those spots too were impeccably clean, tightened and pebbled with lust. "More, please …"

"After you made such a mess? Don't think so, Slim." Feigning strictness, Logan pushed him away a little with one hand and scooped up the cream that had ended on his pecs with the fingertips of the other, this time not licking the white, thick mass off though as a lewd smirk spread on his lips. "Got a pretty good idea where this is going though." Not giving Scott a second to think about a probably once more not exactly sanitary plan, he unexpectedly lowered his head to Scott's loins at last. Slowly, inch by inch removing all of that unhealthy sweetness from there too, his iron grip on Scott's hips held him in place while Logan's cream-slippery fingertips were back on his cheeks, dipping between them, teasingly circling the hidden opening there. With his clever lips finally wrapping around the head of Scott's rock-hard cock, Logan chased away any possible protest before Scott could even come up with it, a cautious, slow fingertip breaching him at the same time.

The assault from two sides after so much foreplay was almost enough to make him come on the spot. With a substance not exactly meant for that use though, that stretch was still a challenge which made holding back easier. Scott's hands clawing down on Logan's scalp, he was quickly fighting to stay on his feet as the muscles in his lower body clenched hard, unfulfilled need throbbing through his veins as Logan's teasing tongue bathed every inch of reddened skin, of his swollen, heavy balls, before that deft mouth slipped back over his cock, swallowing him down bit by bit. A second finger buried deep inside him at that point, unerringly hitting his most sensitive spot, it took only a few desperate quick thrusts until Scott was all but hit from behind with his orgasm. He was all but crashing into Logan's arms and was glad when his lover pulled him down next to him for a lewd kiss full of salt and sweetness, moaning against his lips when Scott instinctively reached for him, finishing Logan off for the first time that night with a few unceremonious strokes as well. A breathless chuckle on his lips, Scott sank back on the mattress, wiping his hand clean discreetly on the towel he'd spread there earlier to not make a complete mess of the sheets. "Well, that takes care of the mission Feeding Logan, I guess."

"Shut up," his lover rumbled, still sounding quite breathless but finally back to his full energy and very sated, before curling up by his side with a tired moan, with his head heavy on Scott's chest.

And just like that, for the first time since the disastrous first mission at Alkali Lake almost a year ago, Scott felt happy again.

*******************************************************************************

@whumptober | @whumptober-archive

@scoganbingo

#no.17 #collar #x men #fic #nsfwhump #medical torture #everything after x2 didn't happen sue me #x men original timeline movies #x men movies #fanfiction #stormys fanfics #scott summers #cyclops #scogan #scoganbingo #wolverine #scott x logan #nsft #whumptober2023

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xxlovelynovaxx · 1 year

Text

Y'know, part of what's frustrating about gatekeeping cripple reclamation is not just the ahistorical claim that it's a physically disabled only word (I've talked about "mental cripple" being in common usage in scientific and medical literature for YEARS, before) or the fact that mental and physical categories are not so discrete as they may seem (the brain is a physical organ, it controls the functioning of all other physical organs, gut and brain issues often go hand in hand and gut issues can even CAUSE psychological symptoms), or that there are those of us who are both (and us using a slur we can reclaim on a different part of ourselves is entirely within our rights)...

It's also that there is no other equivalent word for mental/psychological disabilities that are significantly disabling to the point of having a massive impact on our lives.

Mad? That applies to a specific subset of psych conditions and also doesn't at all imply level of disability - same with crazy/insane/related. The r-slur? While I just wrote a post about how common usage has turned into using it on any potentially neurodivergent ("weird") person, also technically referring to a specific thing and I know almost no one who wants to reclaim it. "Disabling"? Doesn't tell you the extent of it, and is also an extremely general term.

Idk, just, as a physical cripple, I also find my psychological disabilities physical and mentally crippling, and also inextricable from my physical ones. Hell, I can often spot an anxiety flareup if I feel my fibro flaring up or vice versa. It's absorption issues in my gut causing much of my brain fog, forgetfulness, and even parathesias, swelling, circulation issues, and so on... just because my intestines aren't getting vitamin D and B12 out of my food in any significant quantities. That absorption issue makes communication harder with my headmates and causes more amnesia. On the other hand, anxiety has caused me to develop tachycardia and could further affect my cardiac health (studies have shown mental illness can cause cardiac issues up to and including heart attacks).

So yeah, idk, if I as a physically disabled person (and significantly physically disabled!) find my mental disabilities crippling as well, I don't see why anyone else wouldn't/couldn't.

Anyway slur discourse is pointless and we need disabled UNITY, not EXCLUSION, NOW.

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just-dreaming-marvel · 3 years

Text

Out Of Time ~ 137

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,560ish

Summary: Tony, Steve and the others worry over Y/N and premie Morgan.

Warning: car accident injuries, talk of traumatic brain injury, premie baby

“Tony, sit down,” Rhodey ordered.

The hospital staff had been kind enough to show the group to a private waiting area once Rhodey had arrived. It had been hours since Y/N and Morgan had been brought back into surgery, and it had been at least two since the last update. Steve, Pepper, Happy, Tony, and Rhodey were all spread out around the room, with Tony nervous pacing.

“No,” Tony said curtly. “Not until—“

“Mr. Stark,” the doctor called, entering the room. Everyone was up on their feet.

“How are they?” Tony asked quickly, standing in front of the doctor.

“They’re both now out of surgery.”

“Thank God,” Happy muttered.

“But neither of them are out of the woods yet. The baby girl is in the NICU, inside an incubator. Her lugs aren’t fully developed yet, so she is connected to a ventilator. Her temperature keeps dangerously fluctuating and is currently getting nutrients from a feeding tube. She’s being monitored very carefully, 24/7.”

“And Y/N?” Steve asked.

“She had many lacerations and much internal bleeding when she came in. She lost a lot of blood before and during surgery. It was also clear when Y/N was brought in, that her head had been seriously hit.”

“How serious?” Tony asked.

The doctor gave him a sympathetic look. “We had to put her in a medically induced both for her physical wounds and her brain.”

“That didn’t really explain anything, doc.”

The doctor sighed. “We don’t know the full affects of the head trauma. We won’t know until we wake her up.”

“And when are you planning on doing that?”

“It will be awhile.”

“A-awhile?”

“She needs time to heal, and we must give her brain time to rest.”

“What do you think she’ll be like when she wakes?” Steve nervously wonders.

“Most likely scenario is that loud noises and bright lights will bother her. And well as forgetfulness and slow thing, speaking, or reading. All of those can go away with time. But we are really concerned about her memories. We fear she’ll wake up with amnesia. We are also concerned that she may never wake up at all.”

“No,” Tony breathed out, stumbling back. “She—she can’t. No.”

“That’s why we are giving her time to rest and doing all we can to help her. And your baby.”

Tony began to feel like the world was closing in on him. His heart was pounding in his eyes and his breathing picked up. Rhodey quickly noticed.

“Tony, Tony,” he walked over, guiding his friend into a chair. “Breathe, focus.” Pepper came to the other side, running her hand down Tony’s back.

“I-I can’t… can’t l-lose them…” Tony panted. “They—they’re my w-world…”

“You won’t lose them. The doctors and nurses are the best and they will make sure nothing happens to either of them.”

“I’ll have a nurse come out and get you when you can visit them,” the doctor stated. “I am sorry. And we will do the best we can.” Then the doctor left.

“Tony,” Steve called.

“Don’t,” Tony said, harshly. “I don’t want to hear it.” Tony looked up at Steve from his spot, teary-angry eyes. “The only reason you’re still here and I haven’t totally yelled at you is because Y/N is trying to repair her relationship with you. And I am trying so damn hard to respect that. But that doesn’t mean I have to… You should have been there with her. Or sensed danger.”

“You don’t think I’m blaming myself for this as well? I feel terrible for what happened. She is my sister, after all.”

“Is she?” Tony stood up, challenging the Captain. “Cause you haven’t treated her as such for years.”

“I’m trying to do better now.”

“Well either try harder or stop trying!”

“Excuse me, Mr. Stark?” A nurse came in.

“Yes?”

“I’m here to take you and one other to see your daughter.”

“Rhodey, let’s go.” Tony walked out without another word, Rhodey behind him.

~~~

The NICU was one of the most terrifying places Tony had ever been. And that was saying a lot since he was Iron Man. He and Rhodey listened intently as the nurse explained the rules of the NICU. They couldn’t touch anything besides the outside of the incubator, including the baby. They couldn’t enter until they are geared up in a hospital gown, gloves, and a mask.

After they were all geared up, the nurse walked Rhodey and Tony over to the baby’s incubator. Tony lost his breath when he saw her. She was so small. So, so small. She was covered in tubes and wires, clearly not breathing for herself. Tony set a shaky hand on the clear incubator.

“She’s beautiful, Tony,” Rhodey said softly, going to the other side. “You did good.”

“Y/N hasn’t even held her yet…” Tony said quietly, not looking away from his daughter. “She hasn’t even named her.”

“I thought you two had?”

“Well, we have. But Y/N was suppose to hold her and make it official. She was suppose to say how beautiful she was and I was suppose to compliment both her and the baby… I don’t—I don’t know if I can do this all with out her.”

“You won’t be alone, Tony. We’re all going to be with you every step of the way.”

Tony looked at the baby in silence, clearly thinking over something. “Hey, Morgan,” he whispered. “I’m your daddy… I’m sorry this all had to happen this way. But I’ll make it better, I promise.”

~~~

A different nurse came into the waiting room once Tony and Rhodey had gone. This time, telling them that one person could come and visit Y/N. Steve immediately agreed to. The blinds were closed to Y/N’s room window, so he didn’t see anything until he was all the way into the room. The nurse closed the door, leaving him standing there, alone.

Y/N was all scratched and bandaged up. Wires and tubes were attached everywhere, including one helping her breath. This wasn’t the first time he had seen her like this. There had been the time back in 2014, when she had been fatally shot. But that felt like a life time ago and this was different. Now, half the population of the world had turned to dust, Tony and Y/N were engaged, and she had a daughter counting on her to pull through.

Steve pulled up a chair and sat beside Y/N. His hand rested on top of hers.

“I’m so sorry,” he cried, not caring about the amount of tears raining down his cheeks. “I should have been there. I shouldn’t have left you… I noticed that you were on edge, I should have done something about it… I’m so sorry, for failing you as much as I have…”

~~~

Due to the doctor’s needing to check on baby Morgan, Tony and Rhodey were forced out of the NICU. Rhodey left to go update Pepper and Happy and go get food and clothes for Tony. Heading to Y/N’s room, he found Steve outside of it. Steve was sitting on the ground, under her room window. His elbows were resting on his knees and his head was in his hands. Hearing footsteps, Steve looked up. He wiped his nose and sniffed as Tony came closer.

“I couldn’t be in there anymore,” Steve’s voice was horse as he spoke. “It just… it hurts to think she may not even wake or, if she does, that she won’t be the same person anymore…” Tony nodded, looking to stare at the door.

“Morgan’s in an incubator,” Tony stated, almost out of it. “I’m not even allowed to touch her… she’s so tiny. So very tiny… it’s scary…. I also thought I had more time to prepare. I’m not ready to be a father, especially if—“ Tony’s voice broke and he swallowed. “If Y/N won’t be by my side for it…” Tony walked to the door and put his hand on the knob. “Call Red, she’ll want to know… she’ll want to be here. And… and tell her to bring you some clothes.”

Tony slipped into the room and shut the door behind him. Instead of moving to the chair at Y/N’s side, he leaned against the door. His eyes welled up with tears as he looked at Y/N and let the whole situation hit him. Steve broke down more as he heard Tony cry from the other side of the door.

With trembling legs, Tony finally made his way to the chair, practically collapsing into it. Grabbing Y/N’s hand, he let himself fully break down.

“You cannot do this to me, honey,” he sobbed. “You really can’t… Morgan needs you—I need you…” Tony looked up at the ceiling. “Where the hell is her protection?! I thought she was meant for something with the Stones?! I thought that granted her protection until her job was done?! Protect her! Save her! I know her job isn’t done! I can’t—I can’t lose her… Not her…”

~~~

“How are they?” Natasha asked, coming into the waiting room with a bag of clothes for Steve and a few coffees.

Happy, Rhodey, and Pepper were in the waiting room, that was slowly beginning to look like a hotel room. Rollaway beds were brought in, one for each of them, including Steve and Tony. The tension in the air was thick.

Pepper sighed. “Not good,” she shook her head. “We haven’t seen them for at least an hour though.”

“Tony’s going back and forth between Morgan and Y/N, while Steve won’t move from his spot on the floor outside Y/N’s room,” Rhodey explained.

“Well, I brought coffees and clothes for Steve.” She set both down on the coffee table.

“Thank you.”

“I know that Tony probably would have done this, but he’s so business. I have FRIDAY tracking down the suv’s.”

“Smart. Let me know what you find.”

“Of course. I’m going to go find Steve, get him off his ass.”

“Good luck. You’ll need it.”

Natasha nodded before heading to Y/N’s room. Steve was right where Rhodey had told her he’d be. With a sigh, Natasha sat beside him. She put her hand on his knee, rubbing his knee with her thumb.

“How is she?” Natasha asked softly.

“I’ve only been able to go in there once,” Steve replied, voice rough. “It’s too much.”

“That’s okay. But I don’t know if sitting out here in the hall is doing either of you any good.”

“I don’t want to leave her side, but I can’t go in there. So, out here seemed like the best option.”

“Have you seen Tony?”

“Yes,” Steve nodded. “He just left to visit Morgan again… you should have heard him, Nat. I’ve never heard him crying like that before. He really loves her.”

“Have you thought about visiting Morgan?”

“No,” he shook his head.

“Why don’t you try? It will be good for you to get off the floor.”

“When Tony comes back.” Steve leaned up against the wall. “I don’t want her to be alone.”

Natasha nodded then rested her head on Steve’s shoulder. “They’re going to get through this Steve. We all are.”

~~~

Tony and Steve began switching places, without even speaking a word. Neither Y/N or Morgan were ever alone for long. The others continually urged them to rest, but neither of them listened. After 36 hours of this, Natasha and Rhodey eventually dragged Tony and Steve’s tired bodies to the beds in the waiting room. Happy, Pepper, Natasha, and Rhodey then began switching between watching Y/N, Morgan, Tony, and Steve.

The men didn’t sleep for very long, but it was enough rest to keep them moving. They had all been at the hospital for 5 days when the doctor told them that Morgan was really struggling. This got Tony’s anxiety to immediately spike, but the doctor quickly said that he had an idea that he’d like to try. With Tony and Natasha went together with the doctor to visit Morgan, as the rest watched Y/N and got rested themselves.

“I would like to try kangaroo car,” the doctor told Tony and Natasha as the nurses wheeled Morgan’s incubator into a secluded room that they were already in.

“Kangaroo care?” Tony repeated. “What’s that?”

“It’s a method of holding a baby that involves skin-to-skin contact. Morgan will be placed upright against a bare chest. Preferably a parent’s, but that is why we also wanted a female to come.”

“What about all her wires?”

“You’ll have to be careful, but we’ll help you.”

“Okay, let’s do this.”

Tony took off his shirt and handed it to Natasha, who couldn’t help but notice the scar from the original arc reactors. Tony sat himself down in the rocker that was provided in the room as the nurses began to ready Morgan. With careful hands, a nurse brought Morgan over to Tony. The nurse guided Tony on how to hold Morgan. Once the nurses’ hands were off, Tony took a shuddering breath.

“Hello, sweetheart,” he whispered, smiling softly down at her. Natasha quickly took out her phone and snapped some pictures. “You’re such a pretty baby, yes you are… Pretty just like your momma. She would be here if she could, you know? She just needs a long nap, and then I know that she’ll never leave your side… We both love you so much, and I promise that I’ll never let you doubt that…”

Nat was tearing up as she watched her old friend hold and talk to his daughter. She began to film it, because she knew that when Y/N woke, she would regret missing it. Tony slowly began to rock back and forth, wary of the wires and tubes that Morgan was connected with. It shocked Natasha when Tony began to softly sing:

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” Tony placed a small kiss on Morgan’s tiny head. “You are my sunshine, Morgan, my only sunshine. Well, besides your mother. You guys are equal in my eyes.”

“You’re going to be a wonderful father, Tony,” Natasha said.

Tony briefly looked up at his friend. “Thank you, Red.” He looked back down at Morgan, softly talking to her once again. “Your mother made a playlist of possible songs that we could sing to you. There’s one that resonated with me more than others, though I haven’t told mom yet. I’m going to give it a try, so bare with me.” Tony took a deep breath and then began singing again:

“Dear Theodosia, what to say to you? You have my eyes, you have your mother’s name. When you came into the world, you cried. And it broke my heart. I’m dedicating every day to you. Domestic life was never quite my style. When you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart. And I thought I was so smart.”

And in that little room, as Tony sang and Natasha filmed, hope began to be felt again. Even just for the briefest of moments.

next chapter >

Please like, reblog, comment or send in an ask! I love to know thoughts/reactions.

I leave for Disney World this week. It is the last big family vacation that I will be on for a while. Because of that, I will not be on tumblr March 19th through March 24th. I will actually be deleting the app so that it’s not a distraction.

Most likely, nothing will be posted during that time. If something is, it will have been queued up. Things that are posted while I’m out of town will not have tag lists attached. I will put this note in all the fic posts until then.

So do not come at me for spending time with my family instead of including the tag list. (I say that knowing that people won’t care and still come at me…. be respectful and get over yourself.)

Check out the 2 ending titles and possible banners here.

Also, I will be taking all of April off for job hunting and such. Please be kind and understanding. This is important to me.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

#tony stark x reader #steve rogers x reader #tony stark x rogers!reader #steve rogers x sister!reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #tony stark imagine #Tony Stark fanfiction #tony stark #iron man fanfiction #iron man imagine #iron man x reader #Iron Man #marvel imagine #marvel imagines

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starlessea · 3 years

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Ultimate Guide To Writing Second Person POV

Y/N, You, and Everything in Between

Hey everyone, here’s another post for my writing tips series - this time focusing on how to write in second person.

As a lot of fanfics are written in this POV, you’re probably already familiar with seeing ‘You’ or ‘Y/N’ to describe the reader. But, I wanted to give a few tips on how to construct this type of character - keeping it accessible, whilst not making it too vague/general either.

1) The Reader Insert

One of the most common tropes in fanfiction is to use ‘Y/N’ in place of a character name. It is literally an abbreviation for ‘your name,’ and therefore allows the reader to insert themselves into the fic.

There’s a lot of debate surrounding the use of ‘Y/N.’ Personally, I think it’s fine, and I find it quite unfair when a lot of people show undeserved bias towards it. There is, by no means, any correlation between the standard of writing and whether or not an author uses ‘Y/N.’ It is just personal preference!

However, you must ensure the following things if you are going to use it:

Be consistent in capitalisation - it’s a pet peeve to see it rendered as ‘Y/n,’ ‘Y/N,’ and ‘y/n’ all in a single fic. Pick one and stick to it.

Don’t overuse it - something about the dash really sticks out like a sore thumb. I try to use it for emphasis mainly, like if someone is talking to the character in an emotional moment. But don’t forget that you can use VARIATION, too. Such as:

He called your name.

“Did you hear me?” She asked, and repeated your name.

“I’ve called your name three times now.”

“Y/N!” He yelled, over the sound of the engine.

If you’re writing a multi-chapter fic, keep in mind that although ‘Y/N’ is meant to refer to a general name, it shouldn’t always refer to a general character! What I mean by this is, nobody wants to read a long fanfiction where the main character lacks any distinguishable features, personality traits, or development.

Just because your pronouns and naming system is vague doesn’t mean your character should be! You need to give them distinguishable characteristics - even if it’s as simple as them liking music, having a specific family background, having certain speech patterns.

As much as we might be tempted to write as inclusively as we can, it is unrealistic to have a ‘one-size-fits-all character in EVERY scenario.’ One of the main points of criticism against ‘Y/N’ is that they lack DEPTH.

Another thing to note is that there are chrome extensions like InteracticeFics - where you can enter your name at the start of a fanfic and it’ll automatically replace ‘Y/N’ with it. You may have seen those little boxes on certain Tumblr posts that allow you to do this!

2) The Impersonal ‘You’

This is just a phrase I’ve coined to describe fics that replace ‘Y/N’ exclusively with ‘you.’ I almost visualise it as a sort of hierarchy of depth, or a sliding scale that goes from Y/N > Impersonal You > Personal You > OC.

What I mean by this is, if we think of an OC, they are often a fully fleshed out character. They’ll have a full name, age, appearance, background, likes/dislikes etc. Whereas, with Y/N and the Impersonal You, we can often get away with glossing over these things - or generalising them (but not TOO much, remember).

The Impersonal You is for those who don’t like the visual look of ‘Y/N.’ It is more traditional, and I find that it takes away from the reading experience less. However, there are still pitfalls with this form:

There is a lack of variation - unlike the previous example, here you can’t switch between ‘Y/N’ and ‘you.’ Often, you’ll find that your fics become completely littered with the word, since it describes both the PERSON (the pronoun, replacing he/she/they) and the NAME. So you may find yourself left with something like this:

You finished tying your shoes and look up at the man, already looking at you. “Are you done?” He asked. “I’ve been calling you for the last ten minutes.” You nodded, as he repeated your name to get your attention.

In that passage alone there was 8 instances of ‘you/your.’ In terms of correctness, there is nothing wrong with it. However, it leaves much to be desired stylistically.

You need to be aware of this if you’re writing in this form, and maybe carry out this visual exercise of ‘you’ spotting and counting to check. Instead, try to experiment with adverbs and playing around with syntax order. We could write something like this:

Tying your shoelaces, you looked up at the man to see that he was already looking at you. “Ya done yet?” He asked. “I’ve been callin’ for the last ten minutes.” You nodded, as he repeated himself to get your attention.

3) The Personal ‘You’

This form is the bridge between the Impersonal You and an OC. It is used to describe someone who is almost an original character, whilst still keeping them relatable. I like this example especially, since it allows for a lot of variation and style.

One of the fics I’m writing, for instance, is about a teacher. Therefore, although I use ‘you’ the majority of the time, I’m also granted the extra variety of ‘Teach.’ A lot of my other characters use that nickname to refer to her. So it’s a good idea to have some distinguishable features that can be used as identifiers - like a certain profession for example.

I’ve also read another fic about a doctor, where everyone calls her ‘Doc,’ and another one where the character is identified by the name of the gang she belongs to. So, it doesn’t always have to be a job - it can be hobbies, interests, an embarrassing secret, a pet name etc.

Here are a few examples:

“Hey, Sunshine.” He greeted, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“Get over here, Teach!” She called, and you quickly ran over to hear people muttering your name.

“Well if it isn’t that biker chick I’ve heard so much about.”

“I want to get to know you better, Doc.” He said, and you started by telling him your name. “That’s pretty” He replied, trying it out for himself as he struggled to pronounce it.

4) General Points

Nicknames

As we’ve just gone through, nicknames, pet names, or little identifiers can be a great way to gain some variation - and give an insight into your character’s background. Even if you’re writing in the ‘Y/N’ form, you can use general ones like ‘sweetheart’ etc. to show the relationships between your characters.

Abbreviated Names

With these nicknames, or professions, try out the long forms but also abbreviate them for variation:

Doctor > Doc

Teacher > Teach

And have different characters say them in different ways, or use different ones to address your main character. For example, you might want to emphasise different accents.

Darling > Darlin’

A Nameless Character

It might even be fun to take a meta approach, where your character is consciously aware that they don’t have a name. I read an interesting fic where the reader ironically belonged to a group called ‘nameless’ - and that’s what people called her by.

Or, you could have a character with amnesia - and watch as other people give them an array of nicknames throughout your story.

That’s it for now! I hope you found this part helpful. Send me a message if there’s any other topics you want covered.

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rubykgrant · 3 years

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A nonsensical “Freelacer/Sim Trooper/AI” swap because it amuses me-

York and North are the two dudes on Red Team who just stand around and talk all day (York is a little bit more of a slacker, and North tries to actually pay attention to orders. Often, York will lock-pick his way into a room so he can hide and take a nap, but North always finds him and nags the guy to get back to work). Later, South is the sister who shows up (but less in an “I missed you, bro!” way and more of a “You though you could escape ME, your problem sibling?!” way). Wash is their rookie, and they start dunking on him (yes, he’s the Donut). Wyoming is their leader (instead of all that bonkers yee-haw junk Sarge says, they have to listen to Wyoming talk British). They have another team member named CT, who the boys ASSUMED was a robot... because she almost never talks to them and is always working on the vehicles (Wyoming knows she’s human, and South figured it out right away; North, York, and Wash are just dinks)

Flowers is still Florida, because that’s just... that’s him. So, he’s the dead Blue Team leader. Carolina called dibs on his armor (everybody else calls it aqua, she insist it is cyan). New reluctant Blue leader is Tex (who is swapped with Alpha; the Director decided to hide the AI that almost-kinda-sorta reminds him of his dead wife in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere, under the guise of “Let’s see if she’ll act like a real soldier?”, but he just wants to keep her out of the way. He’s not even paying enough attention to realize his DAUGHTER is there too). Carolina and Tex argue a lot, but also get along really well (they have NO clue how ironic this is). Their rookie is Maine, who doesn’t say much... but he’s actually very sweet and happy to help (he intimidates the heck out of the Reds, but he’s a push-over). Sheila is also still their tank~

“Alpha” is Tex’s ex-boyfriend and a Freelancer who just shows up... he has a reputation for always surviving dangerous and deadly situations, but he can’t shoot for crap (he keeps doing AI things by accident and doesn’t notice because he’s stupid; THAT’S why his missions are successful, not because of physical skills. he’s still got amnesia about what he really is, the Director is using him as part of the “let’s see if the AI will act like people” experiment). Initially the others are afraid of him, but then they get to know him and see he’s also a dork

The Triplets are a group who were SUPPOSED to be trained as field medics... but then never got told what to do. They move between both teams and sometimes... help? A little? They try

The Freelancers all have code-names based on the Greek Alphabet, and are paired with AI units; the AI are very odd... they have unique personalities and nick-names that make them sound more like “real people” than computer programs (Alpha doesn’t remember because his memories were taken away, but he actually MADE THEM. these AI were friends that he created, partially based on emotions/real people the Director encountered at some point, but they’ve been allowed to develop into unique individuals. they also have missing memories, but feel like they should have another friend with them). There is also a training AI assistant named Lopez; there was a glitch, and his speech settings are stuck on Spanish... nobody can figure out how to fix it (he’s doing it on PURPOSE just to mess with people)

Alpha is usually put on solo missions, so the others don’t know him that well (again, he’s got a mysterious and impressive reputation, but... he’s a dork). He doesn’t have an AI partner (because secretly, he IS one). He tends to use a voice filter... because otherwise, people will hear his stress-screech when he’s upset (with the filter, he sounds more scary)

Delta is a very logical person and doesn’t like to rush into things without knowing all the information first. Despite seeming somewhat distant, he actually cares for the others very much. His AI partner is called Caboose, who seems to provide nearly boundless energy for running the equipment in his suit, and a special ability to allow Delta to see patterns in chaotic situations (somehow, random things just make sense from Caboose’s point of view)

Theta is the youngest Freelancer, though not a literal child (he’s just short and his voice still cracks). He’s pretty much the heart of the group and is best at breaking up arguments. His AI partner is called Sarge, who talks tough but has a soft-spot for Theta, and provides him with the ability to project multiple energy shields around himself and others to keep people safe (Theta also figures out how to make a perfect sphere, and roll in his shield through enemies like a giant hamster ball of doom)

Eta is a little bit melancholy and tends to mope... but still manages to always complete missions successfully. Their AI partner is called Grif, who seems to have a easy-going attitude, but also helps cheer Eta up (Grif gives him perfect camouflage/invisibility, plus block heat-tracers and motion-trackers... which is good, since when Eta feels awkward, he just wants to vanish)

Iota is Eta’s twin sibling, but they were raised apart. Iota wants to reconnect now that they are both here, but it is awkward. Iota is more out-going and cheerful, but has bad luck on missions (not very sneaky). Their AI partner is called Kai, who can help them hack into pretty much any machine (Kai especially loves creating distractions- she makes security cameras play random internet videos, and will make loud obnoxious music play on enemy radio channels)

Sigma is a very ambitious Freelancer, but he hides his motives with a calm persona. His AI partner is called Simmons, who seems very intelligent and eager to help with tasks, but he tends to panic under stress (when he can focus, Simmons is able allow Sigma to temporarily see into the thoughts of others, essentially reading the minds of enemies... it is against the rules to do this outside of battle, but Sigma bullies Simmons into letting him do it whenever he wants)

Omega is the most violent Freelancer, plain and simple. Most of the others don’t like him much, but it is undeniable that he’s helpful on missions. His AI partner is called Doc, who creates the best form of a healing unit (able to ease pain almost instantly and heal broken bones moments later. if they run out of energy though, it doesn’t work. Doc’s nicer attitude clashes with Omega’s personality at first, but the two wind up being good for each other)

Gamma is a Freelancer who was born mute, but speaks with digital voice enhancement. His skills with vehicles and machines make him a valuable member of the team. His AI partner is called Donut, and the two get along almost instantly (Gamma loves to tell jokes, and Donut thinks he’s hilarious... Donut has a habit of mis-speaking in a way that makes other people roll their eyes, but Gamma finds him endearing). Donut’s ability to let Gamma “see into the past” (they can visualize what took place in an a area a long time ago, even with no witnesses or security footage, allowing them know secrets and important information)

There is one AI that doesn’t have a Freelancer partner, and is kept hidden away in storage; each of the AI have become their own “person” in a way, but initially they began as people Alpha wanted to be friends with and had a “purpose”. They filled roles of companionship, but Alpha also wanted them to be individuals so they could grow and change. For some reason, Tucker didn’t let go of his memories when the Director tried to take them away. It was too dangerous to use Tucker as an AI to assist a Freelancer, so they locked him up. Tucker has a a talent for figuring out how to make strange alien tech work, even when nobody else does. They keep putting objects and devices in the storage room with Tucker’s AI unit, and he’s been learning how to use them, thus planning an escape. His first step is to contact his other AI friends so they remember him, and hopefully find Alpha again...

#red vs blue #project freelancer #ai fragments

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wonderloste · 2 years

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UNICORN!! im so glad to have seen you rb this meme because honestly, where can i begin with this? the way you've managed to create a set of both diverse but well structured and developed muses is something i admire so, so much about you and your blog. it's clear how much love and dedication you have spent on each and every character to make them both very correspondent with their original story but so, so very much your own! every reply and interaction i've seen on the dash absolutely shines through just how much of the world around them you have built as well, you're able to offer every person you interact with something so bold and so fun from the other and i truly believe it's something that's so, so beautiful about your blog. every character, no matter how big or small their route is in the original game dynamics, all have both little and big parts of themselves that never fail to offer so much to them, and it's such an enjoyment to read every little piece of love that falls straight through. you even outshine the big names in just how much dev you've given every single one, and it's really hard not to fall in love with any one of your characters because of that!

i'm currently bias to darcy but honestly, i love him so much but gotta be honest. i am so excited to interact with so many more of them in the months to come in other unique dynamics we can think of in combining our lists together. you portray each and every one so beautifully it becomes such a disaster for me to be able to limit myself into just picking one more--- HFJSDHSJ

& RE : this was prompted ages ago aaaaa / @dangaer.

SPEAKING OF POSITIVITY !!! i reblogged this prompt ages ago & i had this sitting in my inbox, rbing the last meme made me think it’s a good time to post it cuz i was saving things 4 a rainy day. 🥺 ALSO BC YOU KEEP SAYING NICE THINGS TO ME!!!! I SAW THOSE PROMO TAGS WTF I’M GONNA KICK DOWN UR DOOR U CAN’T DO THIS TO ME JHERBGNJHBN. thank you so much for all the kindness you’ve shown me, you lob so much praise on me and i don’t often get the opportunity to return it. it makes me extremely happy to know that you’re enjoying writing together & that you’re finding my muses equally as fun as i find your own!! i bully otome games a lot bc i have a vendetta fighting for better quality writing JHBNERG BUT I STILL LOVE so many canon otome characters, even from games i pick fights with and you write all of those characters so beautifully. 😭 i love ikki to bits bc amnesia has the softest little spot in my heart, but from your dialovers muses to your cxm muses, you pull all of them off even better than their source material. ESPECIALLY for the games i don’t actually like the writing in : i LOVE dialovers’ characters and seeing you give them better development than their source material imo makes me so happy bc i get to actually enjoy them. i adore reading everything you post, all your threads and headcanons and etc are so fun!! i know i’m very opinionated tm when it comes to otome writing but GENUINELY i think you do so much better a job at developing these characters and finding their voice than some of their own canon writing did. and it’s actively helped mend my opinion on some of them (like shin!! who i never rlly disliked or anything, but was just ‘meh’ about : u talking abt him made me love him sm more !!)

that being said !! darcy is where my heart and soul goes, the culmination of every otome trope i’ve ever deeply loved, so hearing sb has a bias for him always makes me so happy. (´• ω •`) ikki and darcy are def some of my fav interactions on this blog!! i love their dynamic!! i’m always excited to get replies & stuff from you, ty for taking the time for my stupid oc bunny man JHNBERG. i’d be MORE than happy to write more with our other muses too, of course!! i feel like our lists could make some... very Wild combinations kjnermhkjnm. whether we have one interaction or 20 they’re a blessing & i cannot thank u enough for giving me the opportunity to write with you & all your beautifully characterized muses! ukyo and heroine truly walked so that darcy and ikki could decide that love is worth ending the world for ... peak romance.

side note speaking of my promo tags > “#but no on a very serious note unicorn is one of my all time favourite mutuals.” U HAD NO RIGHT I’LL SOB ON YOU I’LL SOB ON YOUR MUSE LIST I WILL SOB ON MYSELF. ur v sweet ... know the feeling is mutual ur always welcome in my inbox or drafts or dms or u know in my muse’s hand... with ur muse’s hand... they can hold hands KJNEMRKHJM

#◟ ⋆ SAVED › smile while you suffocate.#◟ ⋆ OOC › otome games are my thirteenth reason.#I'M GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYYY JENBGJHEBNRGJHBN

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h-sleepingirl · 4 years

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On Becoming a Skilled Subject -- hypnokink article by sleepingirl

Question: Do you think hypnosis requires skill on the part of the subject as well as the hypnotist? If so, how have you developed those skills?

Answer: Definitely. I've thought a lot about this question so strap in for this answer.

What Is a Skill?

Part of this question makes us talk about the idea of "skill." What does it mean to be skillful at something? If someone is good at a sport, like volleyball, they're not just good at the "skill" of volleyball. They're good at an enormous amount of things -- they're skilled at jumping precisely, they're skilled at diving on the ground without hurting themselves, they're skilled at aiming the ball in a certain way using their entire bodies, they're skilled at making snap judgments and analyzing various particular situations quickly, they're skilled at communicating briefly and loudly and effectively, they’re skilled at having a particular awareness of others. Much more, too, and you could even further break down these skills into minutia. We sort of know what makes someone "good" at volleyball, in a physical and mental sense. There are drills that get practiced to make those things easier, more comfortable, and performed unconsciously, to a degree.

So, what does it mean to be skillful at being a subject? On the surface, it might be easy to say things like “responding easily to phenomena” and “being able to achieve amnesia”. And those are worthwhile goals, but maybe they are sort of missing the point, and we need to dig deeper.

Let’s look again at that last idea in volleyball. Practices are held and drills are done so that all of the variety of skills involved become more effortless, in a sense. When folks talk about subject skills, sometimes they are thinking about things the subject can do consciously, like to be active and “help” when they are in trance. In reality, the goal of becoming “skilled” at something implies a level of what’s called “unconscious competence,” based on a theoretical model of four stages of becoming proficient at something. At first, we are unskilled at the act, and we do not necessarily understand why. Then, we learn what we are doing wrong, but lack the experience to fully fix it. Eventually, we grow competence in the area, but have to do so with concentration and effort. Finally, when we become an expert in something, we can perform effortlessly, without thinking about it. Unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence.

In hypnosis, it is not just part of the goal that we become able to do an enormous variety of things without exerting effort -- that in and of itself IS a goal. As hypnotic subjects, we very much want to feel like we aren’t “doing things” consciously. So perhaps on some level, the idea of becoming a skilled subject is about becoming unconsciously competent at an enormous variety of things, including the very skill of being able to detach oneself from a feeling of “effort.” This can be described in a lot of different ways -- for some folks, that is the quintessential or idealistic feeling of trance, or others may describe it as being in flow or “in the zone,” or a variety of other ways that we may discuss it.

We talked about how in volleyball, coaches and players over time have come up with different methods and techniques to train all sorts of skills. The interesting thing is that there are some commonalities between how some teams practice and teach these actions, but also quite a bit of variety. “Setting” is a key component of a volleyball match -- one player has a job of “setting up” an attack or spike, usually in a particular way that involves that player using both hands outstretched above their head to essentially catch and throw the ball in a very fast, precise way that doesn’t break the rule of holding the ball for too long. This simple task is quite difficult, and has an enormous amount involved in it: Planting one’s body, keeping knees slightly bent, training eyes on the ball, tilting the hands back at the right angle so that all fingers come into contact at approximately the same time, having give in the wrists to allow it to spring up.

Different coaches may approach all of these skills using many different methods. Some coaches may use metaphor/analogy to teach -- “The hands are like a little trampoline, not stiff but taut and bouncy.” Maybe other coaches use different comparisons, like a cradle, or a basket. Many practices focus on repetition as a way to train to be able to control the ball, but the form that those drills take differs, perhaps between setting against a spot on the wall, setting to a player, setting as high or low as possible, setting while in different positions. There is such a large variety of drills, and each drill trains unique skills for unique scenarios. Players may benefit distinctly from each other; one player may need to work on how they plant their feet while another’s wrists are too stiff. Good coaches adapt to fit the needs of the player, cycling through methods and metaphors to find the ones that click and allow the player to progress through the stages of learning.

Skill in Hypnosis

This is all relevant when it comes to hypnosis. Different hypnotic “skills” are required, and it’s all about finding something that works for the individual subject. Let’s look at the idea of trance in general. The skill of “going into trance” is immensely complex, and not as easily broken down as a more physical act like in a sport. To some degree, as a subject, one of the most helpful things we can do is learn more about the nature of hypnotic response and figure out the ways that we process it and break that down a little bit, find what might be tripping us up, find what patterns work for us. It should be noted that it is complicated to discuss specific patterns in a format like this; it is essentially being suggestive about what can be helpful, and there is no real way to avoid that, so we’ll proceed by just simply being aware of that.

So what does it mean to go into trance? One way of looking at this might be the idea of a subject experiencing some sort of change in perception or cognition, and the act of noticing that. Newer subjects often struggle with knowing whether or not they are in trance, not because they aren’t, but because just like an athlete, they don’t have the muscle memory down of what it feels like to be in an altered “state.” While on one level you can approach this as being about the little, individualized things that happen (for example, eye fluttering, changes in muscle form in different parts of the body, cognitive changes, etc), on another, it’s about the ability to recognize them. So one model of working on the skill of going into trance is about training oneself to look for those signs, being able to do a body scan and see physical changes, being able to recognize shifts of internal perspectives and cognitive response.

Another element to this is that effective hypnosis has a large component of being convincing; that is, it is about “selling” the response to the subject. If we, the subjects are questioning, “Am I in trance?” we want the answer to be yes. There’s a few ways that this can play out if we dig into our responses. A subject who is struggling with feeling trance may be questioning reflexively, over and over, and finding that they are unsure, or feeling like the answer is simply “no.” Recognizing that this is what is happening allows us tools to be able to change that. Just like in volleyball, there are plenty of approaches you can take to train all of the different aspects associated with this. Perhaps you want to practice increasing awareness on your questioning, and very actively tell yourself, “Yes, I am in trance” whenever you feel it happen. Perhaps you want to go a step further by training yourself to repeatedly think an affirmatively-trancey mantra, like “I am deep in trance.” Perhaps you want to distract yourself from questioning by giving yourself other focal points, like training yourself to recenter on the way your eyes feel whenever you feel wandering. Perhaps you want to try to drown out your own internal monologue by “replacing” it with the hypnotist’s voice.

There are many different tricks you can use, and all of these become individual skills that will eventually build muscle memory. To recap this model (which is one of many): Identify which goals and skills you desire to build as a subject, attempt to break that down into a variety of components and approaches based on your personal process and any roadblocks you find, try to find some specific tricks and ways to teach yourself lasting, effortless patterns.

Let’s look at another example: Hallucinations. First, let’s make this manageable and talk about kinesthetic hallucinations specifically. Perhaps it’s helpful to identify a specific scenario where you feel like you needed more work; a hypnotist was suggesting sexual feelings to you, and you felt like you failed in some way. That feeling of “failure” can be a frustrating one, and common, so one way you might approach this is attempting to reframe that failure as a success to yourself. Look at the situation from another perspective: Did you really feel absolutely no change, or just not the exact sensations? Did you have sexual thoughts, or did you feel excited by the suggestion? Was there an ebb and flow of response instead of something consistent? Did your focus shift to a specific part of your body to “check?” These are all responses or shifts, and should be acknowledged.

This skill of reframing is very useful to us as subjects, and can be applied in almost any scenario. Again, it’s the action of noticing and then accepting that act as valid that is valuable, and especially as a process that becomes unconscious. Become skilled at “noticing,” and then translate that act of noticing to recognition that something is happening, therefore success. By practicing this, you will develop a muscle memory, and you can even further it by accepting a growing feeling of amazement at your own responses. “How will I respond next? What interesting thing will I notice next? I can’t wait! Hypnosis is crazy!”

But how can we more specifically train physiological responses? Well, there might be something to be said for the idea that becoming more familiar with a sensation allows us to more easily recreate it. Let’s narrow our focus down to a suggestion of arousal. Perhaps learning how to become aroused upon suggestion makes us curious about what makes us aroused in other scenarios. Are there specific thoughts that pop up, either precipitating that feeling or following it? Is there something your body does? Does that change based on your situation? As a subject, learning how you experience arousal in many different scenarios allows you to key into aspects of it that you can use while in a trance situation. If you know about how to pair responses à la conditioning, great! Maybe that’s an approach you take, where you look at how you respond and begin to associate it with easily accessible things, like listening in a certain way or shifting focus. This gives you the ability to make that reflexive over time.

“It’s Happening TO Me”

It’s important we acknowledge something about the desire to respond hypnotically -- oftentimes, as subjects, we don’t want to feel like we’re the one leading or controlling our actions. So how does this coalesce with actively training our own skills?

One trick you can use is latching onto experiences, tips, or suggestions that you’ve seen elsewhere or experienced. If you’re able to create a feeling that what you’re doing is because of someone else, it can lighten that feeling of responsibility or even effort. For example, you can reframe your practice as a service to your hypnotist, current or next. For another, you could remember something particularly potent that someone said once -- like, “That feeling of depth is just like floating weightlessly, and yet your body is so heavy, pulled down at the same time…” Recalling trances and utilizing spaces and thought patterns you’ve already been in can be effective practice, and allows you to associate your skill with a force outside of yourself, if that’s something you need. Even using ideas you find elsewhere, for example in this essay or others, can be called upon as a way to distance yourself from the action of the process.

Warming Up and Attention

One last thing worth talking about for now is the idea of “warming up.” We know that learning skills takes time and practice. But we also know that our ability at something is dependent on a lot of factors -- how we’re feeling that day, how long it’s been since we last did it, etc. It’s normal to go through cycles with skills, and the model leading to unconscious competence shouldn’t be seen as a static one; we will shift through it in many ways over time.

We can even see this in specific scenes. Oftentimes, we’re familiar with the need to warm up in a scene, and that can take a lot of forms. Sometimes that’s about the feeling of connection or rapport. Sometimes it’s about achieving a particular feeling of depth. This can easily be discussed as a skill in and of itself, but it also speaks to an aspect of subjects’ skills that places the focus on another person.

Feeling “warmed up” is something that can happen as an individual act, but it also relies heavily on the synthesis of both partners. When one partner gets “in the zone,” it usually creates a space that is welcoming for the other to get there, too. Attentiveness itself, feeling it and expressing it in different ways, is a universal skill in hypnosis, applicable to both hypnotists and subjects. This is so much about communication in all forms, verbal and nonverbal. Being able to show attentiveness is a very hypnotic thing. As subjects, it’s one of the best things we can do to become an active participant in our scenes.

This has much to do with learning the language and grammar that you share with your partner. Not necessarily parroting their speech, but more generally about how they respond and how they communicate to you, and your awareness on that. It may have to do with a change in your body language or tone, eye contact, or specific language use. A little bit of self-awareness at times when you feel very much “in the right space” with your partner (or even a script or file) can be very telling. Becoming skilled at giving attention in different ways can be a method for you as the subject to warm up -- it precedes and facilitates a connective experience -- and can be very inviting for the hypnotist, which is something that we desire.

In Closing

There are many, many skills that go into being a hypnotic subject, and they are things we can work on and practice. But some of that comes down to how we process our own experiences and frame them, as well as how we learn little tricks to help us along our journeys. It is a constant process of growth and learning, and paying attention to our own responses and the responses of our partners.

This is a very brief look into what might be helpful in becoming skillful at being hypnotized. It also hopefully highlights the need to have these conversations openly when we can -- to understand what others do to “practice” and how trance works and is experienced. Be cognitive about your process as a subject and enjoy the rewards of progressing; the simple feeling of being “good” at something is one of the best things there is, and so much of our skills as humans apply in how we interact in trance.

I hope you enjoyed this piece -- it was born out of an anonymous question I received on CuriousCat that I wanted to answer in depth! I had a lot of fun working on it and easily could have gone another few thousand words, but wanted to leave it manageable. You can also find this article in PDF readable form for free (+donation if you like) at my gumroad.

If you aren’t familiar with the type of content I make, I write articles like this one, generally heavily referenced, on all sorts of topics related to hypnokink and NLP, both free/public and Patreon-exclusive. You can find all of them available individually at gumroad or subscribe on Patreon to read and vote on the topics for them. You may be interested in my book, “The Brainwashing Book” which talks in-depth about conditioning, behaviorism, and brainwashing in erotic hypnosis. You may also want to check out my podcast, “Two Hyp Chicks,” where my subject partner and I discuss hypnokink topics live while drinking and do hypnosis demonstrations.

Links to everything I do can be found here: https://linktr.ee/sleepingirl

Thanks so much for your support!

#my writing #hypnosis #hypnokink

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beneaththetangles · 3 years

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Grace for the Lying Traitor

Originally, this should have been done by the end of the first season back in 2019, but the combination of a lack of writing motivation and the manga providing even more supplementary material for this article than expected (and many more potential ones in the future, really) has led to this being finished in time for season two finally premiering, which is the perfect time to bring this out of the woodwork. Spoiler warnings will also be given when referencing future events from the manga.

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At the start of The Promised Neverland, Ray appears to be just a quiet, if somewhat cynical, boy who’d rather read alone than play with the other kids. After being “filled in” on the secret of Grace Field House by Emma and Norman as well as their escape plan, the reveal that he not only had been secretly a spy to Mom, Isabella, and was lowkey sabotaging their plan had been, to say the least, a great shock to both Norman and the audience. Rather than just keeping quiet and cutting him off when he wasn’t useful anymore like he would have done, Norman decides to keep him in with the plan. What would have led him to handle Ray in such a way?

Many past articles on this website have discussed in detail the importance of grace for those in the position of giving it. Of course, the receiver, too, and even primary, is impacted. To consider how Ray was affected, it’s important to note three particulars about him from the first arc:

How he learned the secret of Grace Field House

His identity as a spy for Isabella and why he chose to be one

What he planned to do in order to let Emma and Norman escape the House

Redemption by leilf (w/ permission)

As it was shown in later chapters and in The First Shot side story, Ray’s lack of infantile amnesia, while undoubtedly helpful, brought him much stress at a young age. Given what he eventually figured out about the House and his actual blood relation to Isabella as her son, he developed a semblance of learned helplessness and guilt from being unable to save the other children being “adopted” out of the House to be eaten by demons.

With that said, however, while he eventually thought it impossible to save all the children in the house, he was still driven enough to try to save his two closest friends from that same fate. In order for him to accomplish both of those goals, his plan involved selling himself out to Isabella and acting as her spy for the sake of discreetly gathering information and equipment (Isabella later calls him “a liar and a traitor” for his actions). In doing so, however, he also indirectly used the other children in ways that either possibly risked them getting killed earlier than planned (with his experiments on the tracking devices in their ears) or caused a massive betrayal of trust and hurt once revealed (as in the case with Norman and Don), which may have increased his guilt even further. Add all of that with his general spite towards the adults and the demons, and we almost get to see the ultimate culmination of his six-year-long plan: a breakout caused by setting himself and the House on fire.

Emma, however, had something else planned for him.

Emma’s caring personality is often criticized by some both inside and out of the story as being too naïve or unrealistic for the situation the kids are currently in. Due to his own hope and optimism dying off over the past few years, her desire to bring everyone along in the escape had been thought of by Ray as a fantasy and a roadblock for his plan, especially with Norman supporting her. However, it’s also this same love and care that allows her to extend grace to him which, ultimately, saves him by the end of the first arc.

The first instance of Emma’s grace saving Ray happens just before Norman confronts him about being the traitor. In that instance, Norman takes Emma aside and asks her, hypothetically, what she would do if there really was a child among them that sold them out to the demons. Her answer, while expected, holds a surprising amount of depth in her reasoning. Even in the face of betrayal, she still cares enough to want to look after the safety and well-being of even those who’ve hurt her. And not only that, Emma’s willing to bank her trust on the spy’s goodness precisely on the fact that, in spite of everything, they’d still be a child who she’s known and lived together with for years. This is enough to soften Norman’s stance on dealing with Ray and give him another chance, instead of just planning to use him until it became inconvenient.

Even after Ray told her himself that he was the spy, Emma was still forgiving enough to understand how much he had been struggling behind the scenes. That being said, just because she was willing to give Ray a second chance, it doesn’t mean that she’s blind to the possibility that he might do something behind her back again (and he certainly wasn’t sincere either when he told her he changed his mind then). So she leaves him with a warning near the end of their conversation:

Despite mercy being shown him after outing himself as the spy, Ray still continues with his own plans up until the night before his 12th birthday. Fortunately for him, Emma and Norman’s steadfastness with their plan still gives him another chance that saved him from a fate he cursed himself to later on.

Emma’s graciousness shows up once again as she foils Ray’s suicide attempt. Having been made aware of the plan beforehand by a letter from Norman after he was shipped out, she and the other children who learned the House’s secret quietly worked behind the scenes to prepare for their actual escape plan. From the moment when she caught the lit match to when they crossed over the chasm to the forest, Emma and the other kids were more than willing to bring Ray along, taking measures such as making a dummy to put in the fire in his place to fool Isabella. Another point worth mentioning is that some of the kids also sacrificed some thing or part of themselves in order to ensure the escape wouldn’t fail: Norman with his chance to escape Grace Field a few months back, Anna as she cuts her long hair for the dummy, and Emma with her left ear as the tracker inside it serving as another distraction tactic for Isabella. It’s due to this that he was able to witness a radical experience (“I’ll show you something cool, so shut up and come.”) which then led to a radical transformation.

The success of the escape from Grace Field almost immediately hearkens a change within Ray. When the kids finally get a moment of rest in the forest, he has a private conversation with Emma, repentant over how he felt and acted before with the others, now knowing how much they are willing to do for him. He finishes his thoughts with a promise to Emma:

“Emma, I’ll live. I’ll live and protect this family. Everyone in this family, just like you. This time, for sure I vow. No matter what happens, I’ll never abandon them again. So you don’t have to bear the burden all on your own. We’ll create it together…a world where we can live as a family. All of us.”

[Manga Spoilers for the Next 4 Paragraphs Ahead]

While Ray may fall back on old cynical habits in stressful situations later in the story, they often end up being short-lived, especially as he puts more of his trust in Emma and her decisions. Even at times when he may not understand them, he’s now more open to and supportive of possibilities he would have once brushed off that actually work, as was shown in his and Emma’s trip to the Seven Walls. His outlook in life is much more hopeful now, and he becomes more openly caring to the people around him in his own way. Through living beyond when he thought he would die, Ray opens himself up to more opportunities where his own strengths were able to contribute in saving all the cattle children in the long run.

It should also be noted that Emma’s grace doesn’t just start and end with Ray. Isabella also becomes one of many other links in this chain, especially since her own radical experience (watching the children successfully escape the farm) gave her renewed hope that the entire system can be destroyed, which drove her to help with it through her promotion as the new Grandma. After Emma’s group successfully took over Grace Field from Peter Ratri, Emma offers Isabella and the other women the opportunity to come with them to the human world as she has already included them in her promise deal with The One. The women, wracked by their own guilt and shame, choose to stay behind. Ray, however, had some words to say to that:

“Get over it already. You were sick of this, right? If you have regrets, take care of them in the human world. I’m glad I’m alive. It’s because I’m alive that I can atone for my sins and clear my conscience. It’s fine. No one will resent anyone. We’re not holding grudges. So let’s go. All of you, with us.”

Ray, who until then had such complicated feelings for his mother to the point of calling her a monster, decides to let go of all that and extend forgiveness to offer her the chance to make things right. This action, as well as with how the younger children were so willing to plead with the other women to come by hugging them, shakes Isabella down to her core. With her burden finally lifted off her shoulders, she accepts the offer, and was even willing to lay her life down for the children when a rogue demon employee tried to kill them in a rampage. Other different case examples can be made with Norman in the midst of him seemingly succeeding with his demon genocide plan, and Peter Ratri as he tries to maintain the status quo of the previous promise. However, the latter deals more on when the recipient decides to coldly reject the offer of grace, as he, in true Javert-esque fashion, would rather off himself on the spot than accept the chance to come with Emma to help the rest of the cattle children in the human world.

[Spoilers End Here]

As it is shown from the story itself, in the midst of the cruel and terrifying world that she’s stuck in, the love and compassion Emma shows even to her enemies or those who betray her is something that has the potential to transform into something impossible and incredible by the ending. An act of grace, however small or seemingly useless as it may seem at the time, can form small ripples which can change the course of at least one person’s life for the better. And as those waves reach more and more people, this can bring about a great change and giant waves in the end. This is as much true within the story of TPN as it is in real life, and it is through this we would be able to show the saving love that God has shown to us to those who also need it the most.

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The Promised Neverland anime is streaming on Funimation & Hulu in the US, and AnimeLab in Australia. The manga is available through Viz.

#Anime #Christianity #Yakusoku no Neverland #The Promised Neverland #Manga #Ray #Emma #Isabella #Grace #Articles #Author: thathilomgirl

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crimeboyultimate · 3 years

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If any of yall remember The Haunted/The Haunting (minecraft herobrine rp series) I’d like to bring to your consideration:

c!Ranboo and c!Drake are related.

So this might just be me combining hyperfixations and it’s definitely not canon or ever going to be but I love The Haunted so I’m going to ramble anyways.

1: They’re both half Enderman

Kind of an odd point to start on considering hybrids/nonhumans are pretty common within the DSMP, but it’s been established that Ranboo is the only enderman hybrid on the server, and Drake has a similar situation within The Haunted. Of course, Drake is part enderman because he was originally human but his soul latched onto the body of an enderman and used it as a host body, transforming it in the process, but we have no evidence that this couldn’t be passed on genetically. To add to this, we have clear evidence that other races of nonhumans exist within The Haunting’s universe due to the existence of an elf character.

2: Both have amnesia/memory loss

Memory problems aren’t always genetic, but they definitely can be. Of course, both could have memory loss due to trauma, or in Drake’s case because of Herobrine, but it is a noteable similarity. Also, because of this we know very little about Ranboo’s past or backstory.

3: Both have “magic” abilities

The Dream SMP has very few characters with genuine magical abilities. Dream XD is canonically a god due to creative mode, and Drista does whatever she wants, but other than that there’s very few characters with magic (unless we’re counting Jack Manifold crawling out of hell because he’s just too pissed to remain dead but he’s an outlier and should not be counted).

One character that’s shown to have genuine magic abilities, or at least magic to this server, is Ranboo. He’s been shown to be able to pick up spawners, an action that is unique to him within the server, which is described as a “main character” moment by several other characters he interacts with, implying that this is seen as magic or at least highly unusual. He’s also been shown to be able to look at enderman without them attacking him, as well as being able to talk to them.

Magic is also somewhat rare within the world of The Haunted. When Drake is in our modern time, which is heavily implied to be the past within the timeline, there’s no mention of magic whatsoever. When he and the others travel through time to what appears to be the past (later implied to be the far-off future), magic is displayed as being rare and powerful, but it definitely exists and becomes a major plot point within the series as time goes on. Drake in particular has the ability to teleport, another trait associated with endermen. Spawners were never used within The Haunted, so it’s entirely possible that Drake could have been able to pick up a spawner if he had been exposed to one.

4: Parallels between Ranboo’s enderwalk and Drake’s (partial) possession by Herobrine

Ranboo’s enderwalk state is shown to be a completely separate entity from him normally. He speaks rarely, picks up and places blocks similarly to endermen, and is much more impressionable by Dream. As well as this, normal Ranboo often has hallucinations of antagonistic figures in his life. Drake’s possession is uncannily similar, or at least implied to be. Armin, who carries the majority of Herobrine throughout The Haunted, is an entirely separate person from Herobrine Armin. In his nonlucid state he is quite similar to enderwalk Ranboo. He doesn’t speak, and acts on the base instinct and influence of Herobrine, much like Ranboo acts on his enderman instincts and Dream’s influence. Drake, though never shown in a state where Herobrine is controlling his body, also has hallucinations/visions, similar to Ranboo.

5: Complete lack of coherent timeline in The Haunted

Any longtime fans of The Haunted know that the timeline is quite messed up and incoherent at times, probably because the series was made over the course of several years and the ideas that the creators had for it changed over this long period of time. However, I’m ignoring any reasonable explanations because I want to, because I’m completely separating author from fiction, and because it’s one of my favorite parts of the entire series.

The DreamSMP also has an incoherent timeline, partly because of real to minecraft time conversions, and partly because of Karl’s lore streams. Because of this, I’m saying whatever I want and you can’t stop me.

The Haunted begins in what is assumed to be our modern time, due to similarities in technology, language, and culture. However, the characters are transported to a setting that is seemingly in the past, though later heavily implied (and possibly confirmed?) to be in the far future. This proves that time travel is completely possible within the world of The Haunted. Due to Karl, time travel is also confirmed to be possible within the DSMP. Therefore, it’s entirely possible that Drake and Ranboo could be related, if not from their usual times then from timeline shenanigans.

6: Post-apocalyptic settings

The Haunted, due to the past (our present) being shown as being in ruins, can easily be called post-apocalyptic, especially when one considers the archaeologic discoveries of depictions of a figure heavily implied(pretty much confirmed) to be Herobrine destroying “modern” civilization, which were found within an underground labyrinth in the second to last season (not counting the reboot, stop fixing the timeline >:(). The DreamSMP could also be seen as post-apocalyptic, due to references to modern society within a world that has clearly not developed past our world’s early 20th century/late 19th century. Also, Mizu is clearly post-something, with the DSMP’s destruction and a decay of the world’s history.

7: Ranbob and Grayson’s unnamed dead kids exist

Grayson was confirmed to have been married and had children in the 5 years that Drake and Grayson were canonically apart within The Haunting, and Drake never was shown to not have kids, so even if it’s unlikely due to his avoidance of any cities or large gatherings of people it’s not impossible. Also, he could have had children before he was teleported away from his original spot on the timeline, though this is unlikely.

As well as this, Ranbob exists. Ranboo definitely had kids, so technically if Ranboo isn’t Drake’s decendant it could definitely be the other way around.

8: Death of the author

Ranboo if you are reading this I want you to know that unless you explicitly state within the DSMP that your character isn’t related to Drake then there’s literally nothing that can definitively prove otherwise. As an author, once you put out your media you are dead to it and cannot further influence it. Also, I really doubt that the dudes behind The Haunting would see this or care so it’s really up to Ranboo in this situation.

Hope yall enjoyed, especially since I wrote this instead of finishing my English homework. Please agree/reblog? Please?

#The Haunted #The Haunting #mcytblr #ranboo #c!ranboo #dsmpblr #dsmp #dream smp #I am begging you to read this bc this is definitely gonna cost me my grade lol #also please reblog

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carynsilver · 4 years

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Favorite Fics: Darcy Edition

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. Things started going on that hurt my soul, and I just felt like, who cares about some fic recs when people are getting hurt? But… I don’t know. I still find solace and comfort in reading stories, even when things are hard—especially when things are hard. So, I finally felt like maybe it was time for another. If the fic writers out there are giving me escape, warm fuzzies, and enjoyment during these weird times, then they deserve some love directed back at them.

So far, I’ve listed my top 10 favorite Stucky, Drarry, and Stony fics. I love them all, but… that is a lot of dudes. I decided it was time for a little girl power in my fanfic recs. One of my favorite BAMF female characters is Darcy Lewis—one of the best and most under-rated, under-explored characters in the MCU.

I love Darcy as the every-girl who has the moxie and chutzpa to hold her own in a life full of superheroes. The girl tased the God of Thunder because he was freaking her out, for goodness sake! I love her being BFFs with Jane, being Thor’s lightening sister, and creating a found family. I love her living in the tower and caring for all the superheroes and science geniuses like they won’t care for themselves. There’s enough leeway in her backstory for fun twists, too, like being Jewish, or—one of my absolute faves—secretly being the daughter of Tony Stark.

There are a ton of good Darcy fics out there, but these are my top 10. Thank you, writers, for sharing these amazing stories with us!

Casa de Island Avengers by @inkbert

I clicked on this story because of WinterShock (Darcy/Bucky), which is a favorite ship of mine (I feel my love of Bucky has been previously discussed at length, lol), but it has become one of my favorite fics of all time. Not even just in the MCU—if I were listed my top five fanfics ever read, this one is on the list.

The concept is simple—post-Ultron, the Avengers started falling apart as a team, so Steve spearheads the effort to get them all on a two-week vacation to Tony’s private island in a last-ditch bonding effort. Every character (except Thor, but he does get some good screen time) has his or her own point of view for at least a chapter or two. Sometimes, this leads to characters sounding the same, but @inkbert really grounds each character in their own backstory and makes their inner monologues sound unique. Then, so many wacky hijinks ensue—camping, drinking, movie nights, girl bonding, sailing, pranks, and the most competitive game nights and challenges you’ve ever seen.

The ships included are Darcy/Bucky, Steve/Natasha, Pepper/Tony, and Clint/Wanda, but this story isn’t only about the ships. It’s about all these crazy characters bonding—found family at its finest. This is probably my favorite Darcy/Jane BFFs story ever, and the Bruce/Tony science bro connection is classic. The story is fully seated in cannon (up through Ultron and moving to the ccmpound), except no Clint/secret family and Pietro lives. Read it. Read it now! And if you enjoy it, there are several one-shots that follow, including a Wanda-centric one that shouldn’t be missed.

Best Supporting Soulmate by Valeris

I love a good soulmate fic, and this is an excellent one. The first thing your soulmate says to you is written on your skin, and there are both romantic and platonic soulmates. Darcy has Jane as a platonic soulmate, but it’s her other soulmate who made her life crazy before she even met them. What are you supposed to do when your soulmate’s first words to you are to let them die?

The two primary ships in this fic are Wintershock and Stony, which work well together, but the story delves into a lot more relationships. I don’t love the whole amnesia trope in a Stucky fic because losing all that history and friendship hurts so much, but in a WinterShock fic, I have a real soft spot for Darcy being able to help post-HYDRA Bucky learn how to person again, and she does that in spades in this one. She also cultivates friendships with just about everyone in Avengers Tower and beyond. Darcy/Johnny Storm BFFs are amazing, and the deep friendship Darcy develops with Tony in this story gives me all the feels. This is a great version of BAMF Darcy who can see what the tortured characters need and is able to help them get there. And there is some interesting conflict with the Fantastic Four, as well.

This was one of the first, if not the first, WinterShock stories I ever read. I had been trying TaserHawk, but it wasn’t really my cuppa, and then somehow found this one and got hooked.

Road Trip of Champions by @leftennant

Natasha and Steve are going on a road trip. Steve wants Bucky to come with, but they feel like they need a fourth to make things even. Natasha bribes Darcy into coming with, and over the course of the trip, we get a lovely WinterShock romance. The road trip concept is fun, and Darcy and Bucky have a light enemies to friends to lovers vibe going on. Bucky is recovering, Darcy isn’t going to take anyone’s crap, and Natasha and Steve really just want a little private time along the way. And the bit at the end of the main story when they play paintball—classic and a scene that has stuck in my mind long after reading many other fics. The protective vibe Bucky has for Darcy after all this and how it even affects paintball is adorable. There are other one-shots in this ’verse as well that should not be missed. You might never think of lemons the same again.

Daybreak by @anogete

Anogete has a really good touch with snarky, caretaker Darcy. I love all her WinterShock stories, but this is the one that’s stuck with me the most. The concept of Darcy trying to help dismantle Bucky’s trigger words by creating new memories for each one was so compelling. The therapy aspect did give me pause (a personal thing; it is dealt with as respectfully as possible in the story), but it all works out in the end. The fact that I loved it so much despite a mild personal ping with the concept speaks to how well it’s written, honestly. :-) And, if this one isn’t to your taste, Anogete has plenty of great WinterShock to read, so definitely try one of them instead!

The Run ’Verse by themonkeycabal

Though it eventually becomes a WinterShock story, my favorite thing about this universe is the Tony-Stark-is-Darcy’s-father trope. This is probably my absolute favorite version of that relationship. There is also time travel, and BAMF Peggy Carter. And even though I don’t love the Darcy-becomes-a-Shield-agent thing as much as Darcy the Scientist Wrangler, this story has a great, cannon-compliant reason for why Tony, Clint, etc., weren’t able to come help Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Maria in CA:tWS. There are a ton of stories in this ’verse, and I enjoyed every single one. My favorite, though, is the one where Darcy and Tony go visit Howard’s forgotten secret bunker and have three generation’s-worth of overdue conversations.

A Morbid Taste for Ice by sitehound

This is probably my favorite TaserTricks story, though I haven’t read nearly as much Darcy/Loki as I have other Darcy ships. I think it’s because writing Loki in character and making it believable to me that Darcy would fall in love with him, especially post-Avengers 1, is a fine line. If the fic apologizes too much for Loki’s wrongdoing without enough repentance/reformation, I don’t buy that she would legit be able to fall for him, but, go too far on the redemption and Loki gets OOC.

This story hits all those beats pretty perfectly and combines them with the whole Darcy/Jane/Thor (and now Loki) found family thing, Thor/Loki brother angst, Jane/Darcy BFFs, and a really compelling murder mystery to boot. There is also an interesting subplot with Loki being what basically amounts to a magical mechanic that I found really interesting amidst the snark, romance, and mystery solving. I’m sad this writer only has the one story up because it is so good!

Bygone by @inkbert

This story is Shieldshock (Steve/Darcy), not WinterShock, so even though I do try to only choose one fic per author (mostly), I’m totally fine having two by @inkbert on this list. Besides, this fic is amazing, and it’s not like there are anyone’s rules to follow on these fic rec lists but my own, lol! This is hands down my favorite ShieldShock story ever.

Jane’s experiment goes awry and sends Darcy into the past—specifically after Bucky left for basic but before he shipped out and Steve got tapped for Project Rebirth. Darcy ends up living with Rebecca and Mrs. Barnes, and she falls head over heels in love with tiny Steve, so much so that they get married despite not knowing what the future holds for her. Then, the night before Steve is going to report to basic, Darcy blips out again, and when she blips back in, Steve is dead. The rest of the story has Darcy blipping her way through time, making friends with Howard, Peggy, and the Howling Commandos. Ultimately, though, it’s her brother/sister relationship with Tony that is the most poignant, especially by the time they catch up to the present again. And Darcy is a complete BAMF the whole time—going on missions, learning to fly anything with wings, doing anything and everything to keep her found family together. This story also gave me a plan for what I would do if I were ever shot back into a timeline like this where I couldn’t sew or cook or make a living—become a typist… genius, Darce!

Their Hearts Said by @anogete

Another Anogete story because I just can’t resist. All her stories are really good, be they WinterShock, ShieldShock, or even her really good Loki/OC fic. I would definitely suggest giving all of them a try.

This ShieldShock story is my favorite post-Infinity War tale. It picks up a few weeks after the snap, with everyone grieving and trying to figure out what to do next. Steve is barely holding it together while the remaining Avengers try to figure out what they can do. After Jane and her family disappear, Darcy heads to Avengers Tower, hoping against hope that maybe Thor knows what’s going on. Darcy and Steve start sleeping together as more of an escape from the awfulness around them than anything else, but as the team works on a plan to save the day and bring everyone back, they develop real feelings for each other. There is also time travel and I really loved the minimalist way she wrote how the day was saved in this. It balanced well with the character stuff. This story is much preferable to End Game—too bad cannon didn’t go like this!

Good Madness by Em_Jaye

Normally, I prefer my Darcy embedded within the MCU cannon. I adore that every girl keeping up with superheroes thing. But, I do enjoy a good AU on occasion, and this is one of my faves. It’s ShieldShock and kid!fic. Darcy runs a bakery that was left to her by her mother (real You’ve Got Mail tones there, but no creepy identity porn), and Steve comes in for treats on occasion. One day, he brings his daughter, and the rest is history. I love the Steve/Darcy romance in this one, and Steve’s daughter is a sweet character. I love the Full House thing Steve has going on co-raising his daughter with Bucky and Sam. And there is a nice Bucky/Natasha subplot and some really good Tony, which I would say more about except that I don’t want to spoil the surprise. My favorite story in the series is the five rules one at the end, so definitely keep going long enough for that. And if you like Em_Jaye’s writing, you should check out The Long Way Around—a Shieldshock, time travel, Endgame fix-it WIP that is excellent, as well.

One Year by @steeleholtingon

This story is WinterShieldShock. OT3s aren’t my favorite trope, but somehow with Bucky/Darcy/Steve, it works. Maybe it’s something about the boys’ history and Darcy dragging them into the future. Kind of what she does for each of them individually in WinterShock and ShieldShock, but with even more oomph. I haven’t read the whole tag, but One Year is my favorite.

Bucky’s Winter Soldier recovery has pushed both Steve and Bucky to the edge. Steve ends up leaving (at Bucky’s demand, but also because the team is afraid he’s going to do some kind of suicide via superhero duty if he doesn’t get his head on straight). The wrinkle—the night before he left, Darcy and Steve had a comforting one-night stand that resulted in two pinks lines on the test. The resulting story takes place one month at a time. Steve tries to piece himself back together and put his feelings for Bucky in the past whilst falling for Darcy over text messages. Bucky, on the other hand, realizes how he fucked it all up and vows to be there for Darcy and Steve’s baby while Steve is gone. Darcy navigates the waters of an unplanned (but wanted) pregnancy while balancing her feelings for both of them. And all the rest of the Avengers, science crew, and other Avengers-adjacent peeps support all three of them through it all. Angst, recovery, and a happy ending. So good!

So, after all that, what are you guys waiting for? Get to reading all this Darcy goodness! :-)

And now I need to figure out what fic rec list to work on next. I have a Stranger Things one (Harringrove and Mileven) almost ready to go, and then I need to decide what to do with the ships and characters that I don’t have a full top ten for. Group them together, perhaps? Bughead and LoVe might be a good combination, lol. And WinterHawk and WinterIron.

#darcy lewis #darcy x steve #darcy x loki #darcy x bucky #wintershock #shieldshock #tasertricks #fanfic #fanfic rec #quarantine reads #highly recommend #thanks for writing these fics #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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chocolate-raspberries · 4 years

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Thoughts on season 2 of The Order, BIG SPOILER WARNINGS FOR SEASON 2. Also this is kinda rambly and unedited I apologize in advance

Okay, to start overall I did enjoy this season a lot, possibly more than the first season. I want to start with discussing the plotline. I read this in another review (by @georgesezra ) that the 2 episode formula works very well and I highly agree with that. I think overall, in the beginning the pacing went well for the mini-plots that the show is going for. The way the plot is built up, with distractor antagonists/ not the top antagonist ( Salvador ) is very reminiscent to me of early seasons of Teen Wolf ( especially season 2 with the Kanima storyline but this is not a Teen Wolf Review. )

The Early episodes were the best episodes, in my opinion, the amnesia plotline was resolved relatively quickly, but there still was some fun with it, especially with seeing Jack as a cheerleader. Also Blonde Jack, definitely the best move and I really missed the blonde in later episodes. The first half of the season the Knights Dynamic felt like it was there and real. They want to Be the Knights of St. Christopher and outside of the Order, not the Order’s pets whenever they need werewolf strength.

However, things to me go to shit when Lilith goes to the demon realm. All of a sudden many characters seem to go slightly ooc without the proper character development shown in the show. I’ll discuss this more when I touch on certain characters, but Hamish especially seemed to take a complete 180 this season, but didn’t show on the screen how we eventually lead up to that point.

Going back to the main plot, I really enjoyed the concept of Praxis, Salvador and liberating magic. The dilemma of keeping magic only to those deemed worthy by a secret organization most people are unaware of, with their own set of strict rules where people are expected to not question the authority of the grand magus. Battled with the complete choice of free will and that everyone should be able to wield magic. Those two ideas battling is a very good concept and I wish it could’ve been used a little more or introduced earlier into the season. I think the first place we see this idea is with Rogwan. The demon that takes fear away from oneself. So, people are going completely based on their first instinct without the fear of death. This, in my opinion, is foreshadowing to what could happen if everyone could use magic. That it sounds good in concept, a life without fear sounds good, but quickly can turn disastrous and cause ( in this case ) the Apocalypse.

Parallels and callbacks are very well done this season and I loved them. With the repeated Jokes of Randall calling Hamish different nicknames, the repeated discussion of Hell versus Demon Realm with the Knights. Callbacks to events that happened in the first season. Bringing back Kyle and Professor Clarke. Showing the difference between having Midnights hide on Jack versus Silverback. Also, still showing that they are college students who are trying to just go through college, especially with Jack saying how he needs to pass his exam to keep his scholarship etc. These are things that the show does very well

Moving onto my thoughts of characters

Starting with Nicole, she was only a side character but I really enjoyed her when she was on the screen. She had a lot of conflicting morals with helping the order versus her affection for Lilith. When Lilith leaves her only concern is getting her back, seemingly more than the knights which I’ll touch on later. She spends seemingly all of her time after that trying to save Lilith and it is very apparent she just wants to use magic for the good of others, but the limitations of the order does not allow her to do so - “ the only altruistic thing i have done so far is fix someone’s car” I hope we get to see more of her in a season 3 and see her develop more

The Sons of Enoch and Orbin. I’m going to be honest I didn’t necessarily care that much for this plotline. The thought of a hive mind is a very interesting concept and I did enjoy how they show’d to explore this concept. However, it seems like The Order makes this alliance with them and then it’s never used?? Also Alyssa joining this collective so soon ( ik she was on the juice but still ) it seems that Alyssa easily pledges loyalty to groups without getting the full story, I’ll touch on that later, but it was a frustrating to watch with her so easily trusting them despite Jack’s protests and the original reason they were there. However, the makeup and set design for Tree Jack was wonderfully done, all of the Sfx makeup is done super well

Gabrielle turned into one of my favorite characters this season. I hated her character last season, with the whole being a complete bitch and unnecessarily cruel ( the truth glove. ) However, we get to see her have a lot of growth this season. Showing that she wants to be part of a group and have friends, she just uses her bitchness as a deflect ( smartly pointed out by Randall, I’ll touch on the relationship later. ) Her early season with her treating Jack as her pet was annoying, but at least entertaining, like I said I was a big fan of blond Jack. Seeing her being willing to help the Knights on their various quests to help save Lilith or help Jack is nice, sure I’d rather have Lilith, but at least Gabrielle is given time to have character growth. Having Midnight choose her as a champion was a good plot choice in my opinion. I’m not sure in the long run if it was, but for what it was in season 2 I liked it. She wanted to find a group that she could fight for and would fight for her, and the Knights seemed to be more than The Order. However, seeing her try to fight Midnight off, fight Kyle off and seeing her completely vulnerable is a nice change and I’m hoping is a season 3 we get to see more of the other sides of Gabrielle. However, her character seemed to be one of the most consistent while being able to have growth

Getting to the Knights

Starting off with Randall. I loved him this season a lot. His struggle with just wanting to be a knight and sticking to what he knows to be the Knights of St. Christopher is refreshing to see throughout the season. Especially in the fear chamber when his biggest fear was having to join the Order. Also is this our fears or a sight of the future was very spot on. I’m glad that the Lilith/Randall plotline was thrown out bc it was an out of nowhere part of season 1. Being not only comic relief but being able to show more strength and fight for what he believes in, which in this case is just saving Lilith, is nice to see. However, with Hamish being out of commission in my opinion it seemed like a lot of Randall’s options were limited. I highly enjoyed him killing Kepler but keeping it from Nicole in the finale. It finally seemed like something the Knights would do and how they would do anything to save a fellow knight

Lilith, we sadly did not get to see her much this season. I’m not sure if this was a prewritten plotpoint of Devery Jacobs had other projects she had to film outside The Order. However, looking at it from a storyline point it is a very poor choice in my opinion. Lilith is a fighter and she is not scared to stand up to authority. She would have put Hamish in his place for fulling committing to the Order and many things would have gone different this season, besides her being thrown to the side as a “we have to save Lilith” storyline that continuously gets put on hold. It is interesting to see what will come out of demon/werewolf Lilith in a season 3

Okay, let’s get to Hamish. Now listen I love Hamish especially in season1 and early season 2. However, the whole Vera/Hamish plotline that mostly takes place offscreen totally changes his character. Now, self-growth is important, but this seemed to be a 180 that came out of nowhere. From season 1 to killing Jack for being in the Order to not saving Lilith due to having to help the order just seems so ooc to me. Also, turning completely sober, like I said personal growth is good if we see it on camera, not when we are just told it is happening behind the scenes. However, I did really enjoy him in the early Praxis scene where he pretended it was a very good magic show, and I still love seeing his character on screen, it just was very frustrating to have this flip where it kinda came out of nowhere.

Jack Morton. I really liked Jack this season a lot. The beginning of the season I was a huge fan of vengeful Jack. With just wanting to get revenge on The Order and kill them all. Honestly was a big fan of that Jack and how his feelings were amplified by having Midnight. Then, the internal struggle of having both hides and the discussion in the collective unconscious of how it is a choice of what kind of person he wants to be and there are no wrong choices. He had a lot of character growth this season as well. Still the non-rule follower, but this time around it is complete revenge on one character like with coventry. He truly seems to want to do the right thing for the people around him. Taking many sacrifices this season - fear chamber, confessing to the murder, multiple times facing Praxis!Alyssa. He is willing to do what it takes to make things right. Again, a complaint I had about Hamish is putting Lilith on the backburner, especially when Jack was there when it happened. However, Jack did have previous loyalty to the Order and he is shown being a person who struggles to stay on one path ( what is my actually major? ) Jack still makes a very good lead for the show and I am excited to see what the future holds for him in later seasons

This is going to be a controversial opinion, but I do not like Alyssa Drake. This does not go to say I don’t understand where her character’s motives come from, because I do. I also think it is very interesting to make her the final villain in the show. She wants to feel like she has control over her life and magic gave her that. She has said multiple times that magic is her life. So, finding out that Vera betrayed her by not destroying the Vade Mecum that blocks her magic would definitely be a good cause for her to not trust the order. To finally see Jack and fellow knights season 1 opinions. That everyone in the order is inherently selfish. And it is hard to dismiss that. Higher ups, especially the nogstic council ( that definitely is spelled wrong sorry ) are shown that they will do anything out of their own selfish needs. Saying all this and understanding Alyssa’s motives still doesn’t make me like her. She is easily manipulated by people - Coventry, the sons of Enoch, and now praxis. With this desire to be her own person completely, she loses sight of who she is. Alyssa tends to dedicate herself to one idea and sticks to that without listening to the insight of others. Season 1 with not initially believing Jack about Coventry, not listening to him about the sons on enoch. It all came to a head with Praxis. Now, I don’t believe some white boy needs to save her. I think Alyssa just needs time to figure out - who she wants to be, where her moral standings are, etc. Her delve into completely taking away Vera’s power and doing anything to get the incantation can either be seen by her being influenced by - Salvador, the Vade Mecum, or she has lost herself again. This is very reminist of me to the character or Alice from The Magicians ( whom I also am not the biggest fan of, but that is due to poor writing choices etc. not a Magicians review ) I hope in season 3 and beyond Alyssa can figure out what person she wants to be and find some sort of closure, but as it is now she is dead, so there may be a collective unconscious storyline there. It would be interesting to see her maybe talk to Ellie in there?? Idk just some ideas

Vera Stone. She stole the show. I loved Vera a lot this season. Seeing her still be a baddass and command a room is nice. It is nice to see a powerful woman in charge of an organization and not just seen as a mean bitch or completely characterized that way. Of course there is the whole side plot of Kepler undermining her and trying to get her replaced which is frustrating. Especially from the perspective of seeing it as another woman trying to take down a woman in power. However, seeing that Vera is trying to do the right thing and is able to make the tough choices is pleasant to see. She understands that her ideas are not always ideal, but there isn’t very many options to run off of. Especially when most of our main cast doesn’t necessarily listen to what she has to say. I hope we get more of a backstory to Vera after seeing what she did under the hive mind of the sons of enoch and having her and Jack being able to bond more after that is nice. The dynamic between Jack and Vera is very well written and I like how it is explored. Although Vera is strict she still understands that these are young adults, who question authority, make mistakes, and believe that they have the right vision about the world. I am a huge Vera Stone fan and this season did her well. Her losing her magic and paralleling that to Alyssa is important to show. Both of them are more similar than they believe and both of them felt completely lost without their magic. In Vera’s case she wished she was dead instead of lost without her magic. However, how they deal with it is different, despite losing her magic, losing who she is, she still does everything she can in her limited power to save the world and try to save Alyssa along with it. I am excited to see what her storyline delves into for a season 3.

Now onto relationships

As said by @madroxed the Order cannot write a good relationship and I agree wholeheartedly. They probably put what I am going to say in words better, but I have a very similar viewpoint if you want to read their review.

Starting off with Randall and Gabrielle. It isn’t horrible, I think, like most relationships on this show, came out of nowhere. All of a sudden they are in this on and off relationship this is mostly shown offscreen, giving us little leadway what happens behind scenes. I think a frenemies to friends to then maybe in a season 3 to lovers trope would work better. Or just sticking as friends. Randall is the first one to truly call Gabrielle on her facades and I hope that with her becoming Midnight and killing Alyssa there friendship dynamic can be shown more. Not the worst, just started to quickly

Nicole and Lilith. I love more WLW representation especially seeing it come from POC women. I think this relationship has a lot of potential and is good character growth for both of them. Yes, there will be trust issues between the both of them lying to e/o about facets of their lives ( memory wiping, the robbery ), but perhaps this could make a good subplot for season 3. Also I am happy the Randall/Lilith plotline was thrown out because they also just work better as friends

Hamish and Vera. Now this was hinted a little in season 1, and it could be well. If it was written on screen or shown on screen honestly at all. It was just mentioned by Randall “someone is hot for teacher” they both have strong leadership abilities and understand what it is like making tough choices. However, all this relationship did was make Hamish completely complacent to the Order and he not doing whatever it takes to get Lilith back, whom he has known as a part of his family, brotherhood for a lot longer than Vera.

Jack and Alyssa. I love seeing their complicated relationship on screen. Long are the days of the season 1 instalove trope, that I am not a big fan of. Having them acknowledge that their relationship is toxic to both of them at times, but still establish that they both deeply care for eachother is important. They both are constantly on other sides of whatever situation they are on, but still are willing to risk themselves for the other. I am not sure where I stand on liking or disliking the relationship, but throughout this season I think that the discussions that were started with how they view their relationship is important.

The ending of Season 2. I’m not sure how I feel. As I have seen many other people say it was rushed ( which I agree with ) and ending on a reel of powerful women being hurt in the arms of men is kinda disheartening to see. It feels like a man! Savior trope. I want to believe it wasn’t written this way on purpose, but seeing it does leave a bad taste in my mouth. That is not to say I didn’t like how the storylines ended, but how they showed the end and having all of the bad happen to women as men watch is,,, not the best.

Overall, these were the goods and bads of the second season of The Order. I still love this show a lot and it’s nice to see the fandom grow bigger. If you read through this whole rambely, unedited mess thank you. Feel free to send an Ask or Message me with your thoughts!

#ronnie rambles #The Order #the order netflix #the knights of st christopher #The Order review #hamish duke #randall carpio #Lilith Bathory #jack morton #alyssa drake #vera stone #I said a lot of words but still feel like I am missing a lot of what I want and have to say #Thanks if you actually read this

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legendarymasterwolf · 4 years

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My Top 10 Favorite Video Games

Now that The Last of Us Part 2 and Ghost of Tsushima are out and I’ve finished both, I’ve decided to finally compile a list of my top ten favorite games I’ve played and have revisited over time. This is my own personal list, make no judgments based on what is here.

And awaaaaaaaaaay we go!

10: Ghost of Tsushima

I’ve never played a game that scratched that samurai itch before, and this one totally did it for me. Whether it was the standoffs straight out of a Kurosawa film, or the ability to scare the shit out of Mongols, or riding through a beautifully rendered world viewed through one of the most natural HUDs I’ve ever seen, I loved this game. Sure, it may be leaving this list once Cyberpunk 2077 comes out, but for now, it takes the tenth spot.

9: Star Wars: The Old Republic

Still one of my favorite Star Wars games. This was the first MMORPG I played where my character actually had a voice. I know, it’s a little thing, but I still like it. Whenever I have a spare moment on the road, a decent connection, and some time to chill, I fire up this game. Plus, it’s still operating even with Disney owning the franchise now, so there’s that.

8: Wolfenstein: The New Colossus

Still scarily relevant at the time of writing (hopefully not for much longer) and one of the best modern reinventions of a protagonist from a classic series. Also, shooting, hacking, and exploding Nazis and Klan members will never get old, no matter how many conservative man-children say otherwise. Plus, there’s one of best female characters in gaming, Grace Walker, who’s got some of the best lines in the game and some great commentary on masculinity.

7: “Assassin’s Creed” Series

I’m cheating here, but I can’t just choose one game from this series. One of the first games I played when I got a PC was Revelations. I played through the rest of them in the year that followed and I became hooked. So hooked, that I got both the Ezio Collection and AC3 Remastered for PS4 when the opportunity came (though the latter was just because it was on the Odyssey Season Pass). Odyssey was the first AC game I platinumed and, barring a few missteps here and there, I loved it. I can’t freaking wait for Valhalla.

6: “Persona” Series

I was just going to have Persona 5 Royal in this spot, despite still not finishing it (damn Okumura boss fight), but I’ve also got Persona 4 Golden and am loving it, so now I need to get Persona 3 whenever Sega decides to port the game to PC. Each game is set in a high school with an other world where your inner self is revealed. The social links system is great and you're basically playing an anime, complete with filler and everything. Some of them have surprisingly relevant themes, too(P5 fans know what I'm talking about). Now to finish them at some point.

5: Marvel’s Spider-Man

A game better than Spider-Man 2: The Game? No one thought it was possible until this came out. The web swinging has weight to it, the acting is great (props to Yuri Lowenthal), and the story, which Dan Slott contributed to, is a fantastic original Spider-Man story. Also, this happened to be the game that convinced me to buy a PS4. Can't wait for Miles Morales.

4: Disco Elysium

When I heard about this game, I knew I had to play it. It's not like any other isometric RPG I've played. In it, you play as an alcoholic detective waking up after a three day bender to find himself with amnesia and 24 distinct personalities that are always clashing, especially when you’re in conversation with an NPC. The story progresses as you try to piece together not only the case you were assigned to, but why you drank for three days straight to forget the case altogether. It’s batshit nuts and I love it. It also runs fairly well on my laptop, with a console port on the way. Also, still need to finish it. I know, my backlog is huge.

3: Red Dead Redemption 2

I never really got into the original RDR, mainly because I didn’t get a console until Christmas 2018. Thankfully, RDR2 is a prequel to the original game, set in the last years of the Old West, so it was easy to get into. While it did take a while for the game to get going and its storage size is massive (105 GB, WTF), when I finally powered on through and played the rest of the story, I was treated to some of the best characters I’ve seen in a game along with a story so heartbreaking, I was tearing up by the credits. Sure, the realism did become annoying to an extent, I could have done without the Guarma chapter, and the epilogue was four hours too long, but regardless, this is still one of my favorite depictions of the Wild West I’ve ever played.

2: “The Last of Us” Series

If the story for RDR2 was heartbreaking, then this series shattered my heart, pieced it back together, shattered it again, and then gave me hope to mend it in the future. I can’t choose between either Part 1 or Part 2, because I think both games are not only brilliant, but oversimplified when it comes to their themes. If we’re being simple about it, Part 1 is about Love and Part 2 is about Hate. In actuality, Part 1 is about the lengths we are willing to go for the ones we love and Part 2 is about the cycle of hate and how love can break it. Beyond the story (going to finally do that Part 2 breakdown in the future), the gameplay in both games is entertaining, the graphics look breathtaking (Part 2 has ruined all other games for me when it comes to graphics), the music is on point, and the performances are some of the best ones I’ve seen for a video game. This series set a new standard for how we see games and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for it. I don’t even mind waiting another seven years or so for the next one!

1: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

While the other games on this list are fantastic, they don’t hold a candle to the game that first inspired me to start thinking about making this list. This was the first game where, when I got to the credits, I felt not joy at completing another game, but sadness at the story finally being over. Geralt of Rivia’s final tale is still my favorite for its choices with no clear terms of morality, monster hunting missions that kept me enthralled even if some of the creatures scared the shit out of me (fucking Aracnomorphs), and the chance to have some fun with several members of the opposite sex (I regret nothing). Oh, and Gwent. Can’t forget Gwent. CD Projekt RED still remains one of my favorite developers to this day and I can’t wait for Cyberpunk 2077 to finally release in December (when it’s ready!!!).

And there you have it, my Top 10 Favorite Video Games I've played so far. This list is definitely going to change in the next couple months once I finish Watch Dogs: Legion and Cyberpunk 2077, but for now, this is how it is (AC already has an entry here, and Valhalla won't change that).

I may be putting my energy into that TLOU Part 2 Breakdown of my thoughts along with that Ellie/Dina fic I've been working on, so expect those at some point.

If you haven't already, go out and vote! Stay safe!

Lemme know what you think!

Until then!

#ghost of tsushima #swtor #wolfenstein the new colossus #assassin's creed #persona #marvel's spider-man #disco elysium #rdr2 #the last of us #the witcher 3 #video games

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