#carol danvers angst
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THE SHADOW
Chapter 1: The Shadow
Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader
Request: Where R is part of the Avengers and her and Carol have been friends with benefits for a while now but nobody knows. Carol keeps telling R that she wants something more serious and R keeps turning the idea down. One day R is kind of flirty with someone else and Carol snaps. Angsty discussion about their feelings + happy ending?
Word Count: 6026
…
Closing your eyes, you can’t help but smile as your legs tingle and the last wave of your latest orgasm washes over you blissfully.
You take a moment to try to bring your breathing back to normal, smiling as warmth spreads in your chest. Is this happiness?
God! That was so good, and you can’t stop smiling.
You never knew sex could be like this, feel this way, but here you are.
You really can’t stop smiling.
“That was amazing.” You chuckle with a dry throat, and the action makes you blush.
God, you were loud! Not that it matters, you’ve missed Carol so much in the last couple of days, and this was a perfect ‘welcome home’ surprise.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Carol sits up in her bed abruptly, and the tone of her voice has you opening your eyes with a sharp start, because contrary to you, she doesn’t sound happy at all.
The icy tone and the sight of her back turned to you make you take a second look, and a heavy weight settles in the pit of your stomach instantly.
You know what’s coming next, and you really should know better by now.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” You still ask her, as you sit up too and a cold breeze waves inside the room from the open windows.
You press yourself against her back, wanting to soak up some of her natural warmth but she feels tense, her body’s rigid and you’re starting to regret tonight with intensity.
You feel cold now too, and it’s not solely because of that opened window and the chilly August air.
Shivering involuntarily, you wrap your arms around her waist from behind a little tighter and even press your lips on her shoulder blade in a soft kiss. However, the tension on her body’s expanding and she doesn’t react to your touch the way you want her to.
“Why don’t you want to date me?” She asks you, hurt lacing the tone of her voice. Her question leaves you breathless, and frozen at the same time.
The world seems to have stopped in the wake of your silence though.
You want to give her what she wants, you do.
Realizing you’re still hugging her, you pull your arms back and away from her, leaving her bed in a hurry.
You didn’t want to get into this tonight. Not tonight.
She just came back from a mission that took her away from the Compound for almost ten days, and you were missing her. You wanted to catch up with her, you wanted to be alone with her for a little while, you wanted to make love to her and kiss her for every minute that she was away.
But this? You didn’t want to do this tonight.
Besides, you have a party to attend and you haven’t even begun to get ready.
You'll be late already.
You can feel her expectant eyes on you as you head to the in-suite, and you hate it. You hate that she keeps on hoping, that she keeps on waiting, that she keeps on denying to accept the reality in which you both live in.
…
When you emerge from her bathroom she’s waiting for you.
She’s always waiting for you.
She’s sitting on the edge of her bed and watching you intently, as if you hold her heart in the palm of your hands. She hasn’t moved an inch.
“We’ve talked about this.” You tell her as you pick up your discarded clothes from the floor in a hurry, but when you look back up she’s still watching you. “I like what we have here. Don’t you like what we have here?”
“Of course I like it.” She hurries to say, trying and failing to smile.
You know she’ll keep doing this with you for however long you ask, and you know she’s terrified of that. You are too.
Her eyes pull you in though, her beauty catching you by surprise again. You want her too much and she doesn’t know it, but you’d do anything for her---anything but what she’s asking right now.
Looking away, you’re quick to put on your clothes, and when she finally stands up to walk closer to you, you feel like you should run out.
You should run out, you’re good at that.
However, she’s still wearing the strap you used and the toy between her legs distracts your planned escape, and you walk towards her out of instinct too.
You undo the harness for her and you let it fall to the ground, all the while she just looks at you with downcast eyes that break you more than she’ll ever truly know.
Your chest aches, and swallowing becomes painful.
God! You really didn’t want to get into this tonight.
Still, you try to bring things back to normal because you want to keep seeing her, you want to be able to still kiss her in the mornings when no one is looking. God! You want to make her laugh when that door is closed, just so you can kiss the smile off her face.
You really don’t want to lose her. Not her.
“Then what’s the problem?” You ask her gently, because she’s expecting you to keep this conversation going, even if you refuse to look into her eyes and you both know how it’s going to end.
You’re running out of excuses for her, and you really need her to move on from the topic because you can’t give her anything more than what you already have. You don’t know how to.
“I want to date you.” She enunciates, and you do look up then.
She tells you this as if you hadn’t heard her before, as if she's speaking a foreign language and she wants to make sure that you understand what she’s saying.
You hate her condescending tone, and you’re tempted to roll your eyes but you refrain from it. As always, she’s not seeing the point.
You’re not the one refusing to listen here. She is.
You really don’t know how to move on from this. You don’t know how to convince her that this is for the best.
You’re at a loss, because you don’t want to lose her.
“I like you, and I want to be able to kiss you and hold your hand in front of our friends. What’s wrong with liking what we have in front of others?” She asks and her nakedness is really distracting, but not enough to not make you see that she’s pushing this.
“Carol, please. Don’t do this.” You place your hands on her chest before pressing yourself closer to her. You need her to understand you without having to reveal things that make you cringe just thinking about them.
“I obviously like you too but I also like what we have here, just the two of us.”
“Why can’t we have this with the rest of the team knowing?” She practically pleads, and you step back from her space. She’s pushing and she knows it, and you don’t want to lose her.
“Why can’t this be enough for you?” You want to know and she grabs a hold of your arms as an impulse, her eyes turn hard as she pulls you closer but you react too, and you push her away with a not so gentle push of your own.
“Because I feel like a dirty little secret!” Her voice seems to echo in the otherwise quiet bedroom, and your heart practically breaks at seeing so much hurt reflected in her eyes.
But she’s frowning, her jawline taunts so much that she’s holding back and you can’t take it.
You know what you have to do. You know that you need to put a stop to this, before it gets too messy. You love her too much, and now you need to do what’s best for everyone.
“Look Carol.” You take a deep breath as your heart shatters inside of your chest, and she takes a step back from you instinctively. Your coming rejection seems to land on her even before you’ve said anything and you hate it, you hate all of it.
“Don’t do this.” She begs with such a small voice, and you have to look away before you take it back.
A part of you always knew this would come to an end, one way or another. She wants more from you, she’s wanted more from you for a while and you… you just didn’t have the courage to put an end to it when you had to.
Granted, you don’t want this to be over and that’s the truth.
You love her and you want her, you want to be with her but the moment the rest of the team knows about this, they won’t accept it because you lost their trust a while back and you’re not anywhere near getting it back.
You can feel your heart breaking, but you swallow down all that hurt and meet her eyes again.
This is the right thing to do.
“You’re my best friend in this place.” You tell her, hoping that she understands, and maybe - just maybe you won’t lose her completely after this. “You’re the only person that I can talk to right now. You know it, and you know that I never meant to make you feel like this. This was supposed to be fun for both of us.”
“Don’t do this.” She begs one more time, but you have to get it out.
You know she can smell your bullshit from a mile away, but you just can’t give her something that you don’t know how to give right.
You shouldn’t have let it come this far anyway. You shouldn’t have.
“If this isn’t enough for you then we should stop seeing each other.” You tell her and she takes a deep breath, her face hardening as she looks at you. “If you want more than this, you’re free to get it somewhere else. I won’t stand in your way. I’m your friend, and your happiness is important to me.”
When you’re done speaking her face contorts in pure rage, and you feel like a dagger has stuck itself in your chest. You need her to not need you like this. You’re not - you’re not right.
“I don’t need you to tell me what I can, or cannot do.” She growls in your face, making you take a step back with the sheer ferocity in her voice.
You can’t date her, you can’t tell her that you’re ready for a relationship because you’re not, and Carol is too damn important for you to fuck it up like you did in the past.
You thought you could have this, and it’d be enough.
You’re so stupid.
“Carol.” With a burst of confidence you push yourself back into her space, and force her to look at you with your hands on her face.
Maybe you can still salvage some of this, maybe she just needs to know that you won’t go anywhere if you two can keep this the way it’s been so far.
“Why are you so afraid of them knowing?” She asks you gently and you almost kiss her, if only to keep her quiet.
Her hands are so warm on your waist, and the press of her fingers feels so real on your skin. She’s solid and safe, and you want nothing more than to be able to sink into everything that she is… but you can’t.
“I’m not afraid.” You lie and she looks even sadder when she realizes that.
You can’t tell her what happened. She won’t understand - no one else did.
Your last and only real relationship showed you the mess you really are when it comes down to romantic relationships, and you don’t want Carol tangled up in all that.
Steve and Natasha know, they know that you can’t handle something real. They know because they were left to deal with the consequences of your mistakes not that long ago.
Carol wasn’t on earth yet, but if she had been, you know for sure that neither one of you would be in this room today.
The team knows what happened, because it was your actions that led the Avengers to lose a valuable member of the team. They know because they were angry and because they care about you, even when you don’t deserve it.
The look in Carol’s eyes is devastating now, and you can see all the pain that you’ve just inflected in her by lying to her face.
“You know what?” She pushes you away, but not unkindly, which is a hundred times worse.
A part of you wants to hold on to her, beg and to selfishly keep her, but that wouldn’t be right.
She’s always known when you’re lying anyway. She’s always had a sixth sense when it came to you, and reading you, even when you didn’t say anything at all.
She’s angry now, her feelings overshadowing everything that she represents for you.
“You’re right.” She tells you with a broken voice, and you swallow with difficulty. “ I do want more, and I am free to get it wherever I want.”
Her words cut through the fogginess of your brain, like a well sharpened knife would do against bread. She’s aiming to hurt you in response to her own pain, and it works.
Looking into her eyes, you realize that there’s nothing left to save here. She was never just a friend, but she’ll never be more than that either.
…
You stand in front of your mirror for long minutes. The idea of changing your outfit crosses your mind a couple of times, but you can’t keep wanting to impress a group of people that are already disappointed in you. They won’t think any different of you, even if you showed up wearing a golden gown tonight.
You don’t plan to stay long anyway.
You arrive late, and the party is already in full swing. There are at least two hundred people crowding the penthouse, and you didn’t even know that Steve knew this many faces but here you are.
You were supposed to be present for the welcoming toast, but you’re glad that’s out of the way now. You’re only here to make a quick appearance, and then you’ll leave.
You don’t want to be celebrating anything when you’ve just lost the one good thing that’s happened to you in, well, you don’t know how long.
“Glad you made it.” Steve says, when he finds you by the bar. He still kisses your cheek the same way he used to, the only difference now is that he can’t look you in the eye anymore.
It’s more like a habit that he can’t break out of at this point, and you both carry on with it.
You should have gone and found him earlier, wish him a happy birthday and maybe offer him a present. You did none of those things.
“Happy birthday, old man.” You smile at him hesitantly, and he gives you a small amused smile in return. He pats your arm awkwardly, clearly wanting to say more, but he just leaves.
He hasn’t been able to be around you for longer than a minute since you returned, forget actually talking to you. You don’t blame him though.
Steve and Natasha were the closest thing that you had to a family, or what you believe could have been family. He was your big brother in a sense, it certainly felt like that’s the role he adopted towards you when you first came in.
Beth was a new addition to the team, younger than you and fun. God, she was fun.
She had the ability to control the weather, and she fell for you the moment you kissed her on the rooftop as a joke.
You’d never been involved with someone before, but you tried for her, you tried so hard to be what she wanted. Even when you had no idea of what you were doing.
She fell for you immensely and irrevocably, and you saw it happening with fear gripping every inch of you. You couldn’t do anything to stop her feelings from growing the way they did.
She was the strongest among you, and you loved her too, just not the way she wanted to be loved by you.
You still had fun together, and she was the kind of person that could always put a smile on anyone’s face without even trying, including yours. Especially yours.
You tried and you tried, but circumstances played a part in your fall out. You couldn’t be what she wanted and she couldn't depend on you because you’re not a dependable person. At least not in that way.
Your fights were always explosive and destructive. When she screamed, you screamed louder and when she said something particularly hurtful you’d just stop talking to her altogether. And you didn’t have to worry, because she always came back to you with an apology in her lips and tears in her eyes, and it’ll be alright.
When the roles were reversed and you spitted hateful things at her just to get her to leave you alone, you still didn’t worry because you never apologized. You didn't know how to.
All you did was climb on her bed in the middle of the night, and she’d let you hug her tight, but you never apologized.
When she told you that the X-Men had tried to recruit her, she asked you to give her a reason to stay with the Avengers and you couldn’t. You knew what she wanted to hear and you loved her, but you didn’t want her to stay because of you and you weren’t ready to sacrifice everything you’ve found for her.
It was downhill from that moment on. You could see that she was fading away right before your eyes, and you wanted her to be happy but you didn’t want her happiness to become your responsibility, you weren’t ready for that.
Eventually she grew tired of being - whatever she was for you.
Everyone saw it too. Steve asked you to fix things, and Natasha told you to think about what you were doing.
But you didn’t know what you were doing, you weren’t ready for that kind of relationship, you weren’t ready to be with someone no matter how badly you wanted it.
By the time you finally left, Beth was already a shell of the person you once knew. When you came back she was gone, and Steve was disappointed in you for running and you still couldn’t master an apology, not even for him.
…
“There you are.” Natasha’s voice scares away the cloud of regrets hanging over your head, and you look to your left to see her standing next to you. She still smiles at you the same way she used to, and you still feel undeserving of her love.
“How was the toast?” You ask her, and she hums as she steals your beer and takes a generous sip.
“It was fine.” She shrugs as she gives you your beer back. When you meet her eyes you’re instantly thrown because she’s giving you that look, the one that means that she knows everything you’re trying to conceal. It makes your skin prickle. “I thought you weren’t gonna show up.”
“I almost didn’t.” You admit, and she grins at you.
Natasha is the most important person in your life. She’s always loved you, no doubt about that, but she’s disappointed too, even if she’s trying her hardest to move on. You became her little sister, and she became protective of you.
The team would have done anything for you, they loved you and you’re simply not deserving of their love.
“Something happened earlier?” She asks but you’re under no pretense here, you know that she knows exactly what you and Carol have been up to. The only reason why she hasn’t said or done anything is because once upon a time she loved you fiercely enough to put herself on the line for you.
Maybe she still does, you wouldn’t know anymore.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You retort and she pins you down with a hard glare.
She struggles with what to say for a moment but then you see her deflating, and she just ends up taking another sip from your beer before she squeezes your shoulder lightly.
“Just be careful, okay?” She says, and you nod rigidly.
You try to mingle, you speak with a few people but you can only do it for a couple of minutes before you’re walking out to the spacious balcony with the first bottle of liquor you could find behind the bar.
On your way there you spot Carol laughing at something that Steve is saying, and your heart aches at the sight of them. She’s your best friend, she’s come to know you better than anyone else has and yet the sight of her laughing with Steve makes you irrationally jealous.
That’s your big brother, the one guy that now can’t stand you, but Carol seems to fit right into the team. She looks at home and the longer you stare, the more you realize that you might not belong here after all.
You down drink after drink but no matter how fast you do it, you can’t numb any of the pain threatening to eat you alive from the inside out.
Out of all the worst things that Hydra did to you, this must be on the top three. Not being able to get drunk, when you just want a quick escape without actually running away.
Maybe you’re exaggerating anyway, Hydra did unspeakable things to you, to turn you into what they wanted you to be. A perfect weapon.
Refusing to let your brain take you down that particular path of horrible memories, you focus back on your present.
You don’t know why you keep doing this, there is nothing after you anymore, you’re free of Hydra but you know that deep down you haven’t assimilated it. The thought of being whoever you want to be is still a foreign concept to you.
You know that your life's your own now, the Avengers saved you all those years ago. You are no longer a weapon of Hydra, they have no claim over you anymore, there is no one keeping you on any leashes now.
You’re free. Only you don’t know what that word actually means.
They still made you who you are, didn’t they? You still are that subject that survived their crazy experiments. You’re still a weapon, even if you’re using your abilities to do good now, even if you call yourself an Avenger.
You’re still The Shadow, and you’re still that destruction weapon that they created you to be. You destroyed your relationship with Steve, with Natasha and now with Carol too.
You know that the only reason why you’re still here is because of the things that you can do but the Avengers don’t trust you, not anymore because that’s what you do, that’s what you are. You are destruction, and that’s all there is in your path.
…
“You look like you could use some company.” A woman says, and you’re already smiling even before you see her face.
“Jessica Jones.” You smile, and she rolls her eyes when you go for a hug. She doesn’t return it but she’s smiling when you pull back.
“Why are you so moppy? I thought this was a party.”
“The party is in there. There’s only booz out here. You gotta choose.”
She eyes the open door of the balcony but her smile grows bigger when she looks back at you. “I choose whiskey.” She shrugs easily and you click your tongue.
“My type of girl.” You serve her a drink and she downs it just like you would, without a flinch and no hesitation.
In the distance, fireworks are starting to go off, everyone seems to be celebrating this fourth and you two watch the lights of different colors alight the skies in silence, for a little while.
“Things are still awkward here, I take it.” She says conversationally and you huff, subtlety isn’t really her thing, nor yours.
She only knows a lot about what happened because you crashed on her couch for a week when you ran away from here, and you were still trying to get back on your feet.
“I haven’t officially apologized, so yeah.” You have another drink, and serve her another one too as she nods.
You two are the only ones wearing leather and boots, if you were to walk inside the party again together you’d stand out like sore thumbs.
“You’re a shitty friend.” She tells you sincerely and you chuckle dryly. That’s more accurate than anything you’ve heard today. “But a good lay, I’d give you that.”
“Are you fishing for a repeat performance, Jones?” You tease her and she gets in your space, never one to shy away from flirting.
“You’re the one that obviously needs to take her mind off whatever it is that has you like this.” Her hair flips with the wind, and you place your free hand on her cheek.
You slept together twice, years ago and nothing ever got complicated about it. She gets you in a way that no one else has ever been able to, and you miss that.
“Oh, honey. I’ve missed you too.” You tease her and she laughs, but she still presses herself against you.
“You wish.” She laughs but her voice is just a tad lower than usual as she leans forward and you run your thumb on her cheek.
You maintain eye contact as she continues to lean closer to you, but even with all that bravado she’s the one to break first and you both burst out laughing.
You’ve missed her and her dark, almost always edging on inappropriate humor. This is going nowhere and you both know it, but you still test the waters every time you see each other. For good times sake and nothing more.
“What the hell!” The voice is booming, it screams at every instinct in your body to go on the defensive, but you recognize it too.
Carol’s standing a few feet away from you, angry and eyes blazing fire, and not caring that she’s making a scene.
“What?” You ask, struggling to catch up.
Your brain’s telling you that what she saw didn’t look good, you two never made anything official, but you still knew how she feels.
She’s looking at you accusatorily, as if she knows exactly what she saw and what it means, and you already hate it. Whatever you say from this point on will only serve to feed into her anger, and you really didn’t want to do this tonight. Any of this.
“Calm down, glowy fists.” Jessica’s voice pulls you out of whatever haze you fell under, and you notice Carol’s fists enveloped by her powers.
She’s one second away from blasting Jessica into a new reality when you step forward, shielding her with your body and getting into Carol’s line of sight again.
“What are you doing?” You ask her, even though you know very well what she’s doing.
“So it’s me then?” She asks you, her powers dissolving into nothing and her voice breaking at the end of that question.
A part of you wants to explain yourself, tell her that Jessica is a friend and nothing more, but Carol’s not your girlfriend.
One thing’s clear though, you two can’t be friends. There’s no going back, you can’t salvage anything here. Carol’s no longer your closest friend, that ended when you two got in bed months ago.
“This isn’t what it looks like, Carol.” You tell her, hoping that she’d follow your lead and remain calm, you don’t need to make a scene.
A few heads are already turning, more preoccupied with your conversation than Steve’s birthday party now.
“I’m not stupid!” Carol growls in your face, still angry and loud. God! So loud.
You’re trying your hardest but when you notice Steve standing to the side of the balcony, his disappointment so obvious for you to see, something within you snaps.
The look makes you feel exposed and vulnerable, and none of those emotions have ever aligned well with you.
Your anger is quick to rise to the surface, and you take it out on the only person that doesn’t really deserve it.
“Only you are.” You tell Carol, soft and low but not any less biting. She flinches back, visibly so but she’s not done.
“Who is this?” She asks you next, making your friend huff in annoyance while the skies alight with fireworks behind your backs. It’s the fourth of July after all.
“A friend.” You tell her Carol, still cutting and trying to pretend that the Avengers aren’t gathering around you now. “An old friend, nothing more.”
You add the last part deliberately, hoping she gets what you’re trying to say but you have no luck.
A lone tear rolls down Carol’s cheek silently, breaking your heart and making you feel guiltier than you already felt, but just as you take a step closer to her she takes off flying before you can stop her.
The silence that follows her departure is deafening. One moment you’re looking into her eyes and the next you’re staring into an empty space.
You can’t breathe--you can’t breathe.
…
Steve’s booming voice pierces through the fogginess of your brain, he’s angry but what else is new?
Carol flew away because she couldn’t stand here and look at you. She left because she thought she saw something, and she’s probably convinced that she means nothing to you, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
You can’t breathe.
Steve is angry, his hands motioning everywhere while Natasha tries to mediate and maybe you should really snap out of it and help her.
You really can’t breathe, or maybe you’re just gonna be sick.
Jessica grabs your elbow when you double down, hands pressing on your lower stomach and she pulls you up, her confusion and worry making you feel even worse.
Steve’s still screaming, Natasha’s too and Tony seems to be yelling too at this point.
What did you do?
You can’t do this to the team again, you can’t.
You can’t breathe.
“Hey, hey. You’re okay.” Jessica tells you, but it doesn’t take much of an effort to shake her hold on your arm.
Without a second thought you throw yourself from the balcony.
The wind on your face feels almost liberating as you free fall, but you reach the pavement faster than you anticipated and the ground where you land, breaks around you.
You run.
…
The need to find Carol possesses you and you look everywhere you can think of, but it’s all in vain. She’s an intergalactic being and she could literally be on mars for all you know.
Your phone rings unceasingly, but none of the callers are the person you’re trying to desperately find. When the sound becomes too much, you toss your phone in the Hudson River and continue on you way.
Everything happens for a reason, right? Isn’t that how the saying goes? Maybe this happened for a reason too, maybe this is for the best.
You’ve disappointed the team one last time, maybe they’ll be better off without you.
…
You end up taking a job outside of the team, a job that takes you back to some of the things that you used to do so well when you were under Hydra’s thumb.
When that goes well, you take another, and then another.
Three weeks go by, and if it weren’t for the constant pain in your chest you’d almost be able to fool yourself into believing that the Avengers never happened, that Carol never happened.
But she finds you in Berlin, just when you’re about to hit your new target.
You see her landing a few feet away from you, you feel her and you want nothing more than to look back and see her, but you deny yourself.
Three weeks have given you the clarity that you needed to break ties, and you can’t throw them away.
“What?” You growl at her direction, making it clear that you’re annoyed by her presence. You lower your rifle, just as she walks to stand right in front of you.
Three weeks have also made you more than determined. You know what you need to do, which is why you were expecting her, have been expecting her.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She demands to know, and you sit back to take a better look at her.
She’s wearing her uniform, her hair is shorter than the last time you saw her and she looks utterly and rightfully pissed. The whole image only makes you want to run, leave her like she left you that day without looking back.
“If you’re here to bring me in, do it. If you’re here to reminisce, you can go back the same way you came.” You tell her, and her face morphs into pure confusion.
You find her almost adorable, almost. She doesn’t know this part of you. None of them do.
“Is this what you’ve been doing? Gone on a killing spree?”
“It’s what I’m good at, and the money is good.” You shrug, and her mouth falls open in shock but no words come out.
“Do you feel like you don’t know me?” You ask her cruelly, perhaps even amusedly. “That’s because you don’t, babe.”
“So this is what you are now? What have you become?” She asks and you hate the softness in her tone, you hate that you can so obviously see that she still cares.
“This is who I’ve always been.” You remind her kindly, if a bit mocking. “Do you still want to date me, honey?” You mock her openly, and she flinches back.
The truth is, she’s the most powerful weapon the earth has on its ranks and you are not about to be the reason why she leaves the Avengers, or leave earth unprotected ever again.
Somewhere deep inside of you, you always knew that neither Steve or Natasha would ever ask you to leave because that’s what family is for, right?
Family is always there?
You had to be the one to leave, because you went from having Hydra control your every move to having the Avengers trying to shape you into something better, and because of that you have no idea of what you truly are.
They’ll do fine without you, and you need to be on your own if you ever want to be able to find yourself. This is your path. You were meant to be alone.
“Why are you doing this?” Carol asks and your heart breaks right along with hers, it seems. “You need to come home. Steve is about to lose his mind and Natasha hasn’t stopped looking for you. Tony is not doing any better either. Everyone is looking for you.”
You knew that, but you had to keep your eyes on the big picture. This is it, this is what matters. The team is what matters, and keeping earth protected is what matters.
“They don’t call me The Shadow just because I like to wear black clothes, babe.” You smirk at her direction, and she frowns.
“Just please, come home.” She asks you, but you catch movement in your target’s place out of the corner of your eye and you pick up your rifle in a rush.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” She takes the rifle from your hands, and if she were anyone else you’d fight her for it but you’re not delusional. The last thing you want to do is fight her.
“Target’s walking away.” You casually tell her. You’ll find him later at his mistress’s house. You’ll get the job done tonight, because the client already paid and you have a reputation to keep.
“I’m sorry if I pushed too hard.” She says, and the apology hits you just like a stray bullet would.
Her words make you stomach hurt and you lose your breath, your eyes pool with unshed tears and your throat closes up. All wonderful signs of feelings that you absolutely adore.
You don’t give into the devastation that seems to want to devour you all the way from within though, because you owe it to everyone to do this, at least.
“It wasn’t you, it was me.” You tell her with a mocking smile and tone. Her frown deepens, feeling insulted. .
You need her to leave, you need her to realize that you are not a right match for her. You never were, and you never will be.
“Just come back, please.” She still begs, and you jump to you feet. You need her gone now, or you won’t be able to get through it.
“You couldn’t just enjoy the fuck, could you?” You snarl at her, and she flinches back. “I’m not going back and unless you’re here to take me there by force then you can leave me the fuck alone.”
You pick up your rifle and your bag from the floor, and you force yourself to walk away without looking back. Your tears cloud your vision, and your heart feels like it’s breaking in half with each step that you take, but you don’t look back.
...
#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers x you#carol danvers imagine#carol danvers angst#carol danvers#captain marvel x you#captain marvel imagine#captain marvel x reader#the shadow
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You're not Defeated, You're in Repair.
Carol Danvers x Reader
Masterlist | AO3
Word count: 727
Summary: Carol comes back after a tough mission, you patch her up.
Hurt/Comfrot, Angst.
The sound of the spaceship's door brings you back to reality. It has been over 10 hours since Carol left for her mission this morning and she is just now getting back.
She stands at the entrance lingering for a little, her back facing you. You can tell by her posture that she is in pain, but it is only when she turns around that you realize just how bad it is. The entire left side of her face is covered in an array of greens and purples all tied together by a black eye and crowned with a prominent frown. You refrain from making a comment about it despite your shock.
When she doesn't move you decide to slowly walk towards her, careful not to make any sudden movements as you don't know what might have happened during her mission.
Once you reach her she stares at the floor, her breathing labored, secretly hoping that you understand what she's trying to tell you even though she lacks the courage to say it out loud. Carol has never been good at vulnerability and you've learned to deal with it in your own way.
You guide her to sit on the dining table and softly ask "Can I take a look?" to which she responds with a shy nod, still staring at the floor. You carefully unzip her suit and help her pull it down to her hips. You inspect her arms, her shoulders, and then her torso. To your surprise, you only find small bumps and bruises scattered around her skin. You slowly run your thumb along one of the deeper cuts on her abs and leave a small kiss beside it before cleaning it up.
When you're done with her torso you ask to see her legs, again she responds with an unsure nod, but she lifts herself off the table so you can take the suit completely off. "Gorgeous as always," you say, finding nothing more than the smallest of scratches confirming your suspicions that her face got the worst of it.
After you finish your inspection you take her hand in yours and leave a gentle kiss on her knuckles, "I’m gonna run you a bath to help with the ache." You try to go, but Carol stops you by the wrist and pulls you into a shaky hug, an attempt to say 'sorry for getting hurt,' you hug her back firmly, being mindful of her injuries. She lets go and quickly places her hands on either side of your face as she leans in for a kiss, it's quick, and soft, and it tastes a little bit like blood and when you pull back she's looking you in the eye for the first time since she arrived, her eyebrows still in a full frown. You can tell it's not a frown of anger but rather one of frustration from the outcome of her mission.
"It must have been tough out there," you reassure her, "I know you did the best you could." You grab her hand again, "Come, I'll take the bath with you," you tell her, to which you receive a tentative nod in return.
You guide her to the bathroom and sit her on the toilet, she goes back to staring into the distance while you fix up the bath. Once it's ready you help her take her underwear off and get in the tub. You quickly join her and when she's comfortable you start washing her hair, and her body, taking extra care of her bruised face.
You stay in the bath until the water gets cold, "It's freezing in here, let's get out," you say. Carol begins to use her powers and bubbles start to form, you shake your head slowly and rub her arms soothingly "No powers, angel, you need to rest," you instruct her. The glowing stops and the bubbles immediately disappear leaving you sitting in lukewarm water.
You both get out of the bath and change into comfortable clothes. You stand in front of the sink as you brush her hair, "Let's go to bed, yeah?" you ask and your gazes meet through the mirror, her frown finally gone. She responds with a nod again, but this time it is full of certainty.
"Thank you," she tries, but it comes out as a mere whisper.
"Always."
#carol danvers#carol danvers x reader#captain marvel#captain marvel x reader#carol danvers comfort#carol danvers angst
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𝓑𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓯𝓸𝓸𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓦𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻, 𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝔂 𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱
Relationship: ex!Carol Danvers x female!reader
Words: ~500
Summary: Christmas never felt so blue.
Warnings: grown up words, ANGST! angst angst angst
A/N: I’m still in my feelings, guys. This is super short but I still feel like it ripped my heart out a lil bit. I feel like this was the same couple I wrote in this ask, so I’m just apologizing off the bat for the misery in here.
I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all my latest fics, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications.
Your house doesn’t feel like home anymore.
You lit the candles Carol bought you, you hung her stocking on the mantle, but still you feel so cold. The space under the tree for her gifts is empty since you couldn’t bring yourself to wrap them. They are all still in the chest in the attic where you always hide them and you think they will have to stay there for a while. Maybe someday you will send them to her. She already took everything else with her when she left. You just want to hold on to something of hers a little longer. You wanted to make her happy and you still don’t know why you couldn’t.
Next month you think, you hope you can pack everything up. All of the ornaments you picked out together. All of the memories you made and your plans for the future. The songs that Yelena played for you when you sat in front of the fire while she told you why she loved each one. Since she loved them you loved them too. You could have listened to her tell you about every tiny thing she loved for hours, and now you’ll never get to hear her voice again.
The gingerbread you baked together tastes like nothing. You cannot eat anything, it all tastes like grief. You stare at the plate as you sit in what was you chair, holding the blanket that still smells like her and ignoring the pain of hunger in the pit of your stomach.
Your anguish is overwhelming but still you want her again. You can’t bring myself to plead or beg, but if she showed up at your door and said it was all a mistake you would welcome her. You were willing to work on it then and you’re willing to work on it now. You just want to hear her voice. You want her to talk to you instead of shutting you out. You know you made mistakes but if she loved you the two of you could have fought through it. Why wasn’t she willing to fight for you? Were you not worth it?
She said you should have known that it was coming. Two days before your heart broke you and Carol were smiling and laughing, making tinsel crowns and taking Polaroids together, but you should have known. Maybe you did, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Everything is hers. Pretending otherwise is futile. She touched everything in this house so you can’t even bear to look at it anymore. The tree and the lights and the decorations you put up make your vision go blurry. So you gaze out the window at the falling snow and let your thoughts go as silent as the white world outside while ignoring your own miserable company. The new year could come and go, and still you would sit in your chair, alone and empty. There was nothing to celebrate without her.
#natalie writes#nat’s blue christmas#carol danvers#marvel au#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers x you#carol danvers x female reader#female!reader#carol danvers angst#angst
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Captain Marvel: Final Part
Pairing: Carol Danvers x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.2k
Warnings: canon violence and angst
Author’s Note: For the sake of the rewrite, Howard and Maria Stark dies on December 16, 1997 instead of 1991. Tony is 23 when they die.
x
With the Skrulls now saved from the Kree, at least for right now, you and Carol met Maria and Fury back at Maria's house for a last-dinner kind of thing. Most of the Skrulls decided to go back to Mar-Vell's lab to prepare to move again while Talos, Soren, and their child join you back at Maria's house. She did a really good job flying the plane to avoid whatever Kree was on her ass, and Fury won't let her forget it.
"That's some nifty flying you did out there. SHIELD could always use a good pilot like you."
"I'll consider it, as long as you don't call my flying nifty again."
Fury's eye is all scratched that you assume came from Goose.
"How's your eye?" you question the agent.
"Getting better every second. I'll be fine."
"Is it true that Goose scratched your eye?"
"I will neither deny nor confirm the details of that story."
"She did. I saw it happen," Maria confesses, making you cackle.
"Just so I'm clear, you were Soh-Larr and the SHIELD agent?" Carol asks Talos.
"Yeah, he tied my boss up and stole his identity," Fury interjects, ignoring your teasing remarks about how a cat got the better of him.
"I borrowed his likeness. I'm no thief."
"It's a little like a thief," Soren shrugs.
"Whose side are you on?"
"You're good to go here until you recover, but you and your family will need a new look."
"I could go back to being your boss."
"Please don't."
"Come on. I love sporting his beautiful blue eyes."
"I'll help you find a home and finish what Mar-Vell started," Carol offers.
You open your mouth to agree but nothing comes out of it. First, you think about Bucky and Steve and how you left this planet to get away from the pain it caused you, but then you think about how you promised yourself that this would be your new home away from Xenia and Markus. You fled once, you can't do this to Earth again. It needs protecting, and who will protect it if you leave?
"They can stay here with us, can't they, Mom?" Monica asks from the stairs where she and Talos' daughter are.
"They won't be safe here, baby. Auntie Carol is right. They need their own home."
"I'll be back before you know it," she says.
"Excuse me," you whisper.
You grab your plate of unfinished food and walk into the kitchen to do the dishes. Carol and Fury look at each other before getting up and doing the same. Leaving Carol behind and staying on Earth hurts differently than when you lost Bucky. Bucky died and you didn't have a choice but to move on with your life. You're deciding to leave even though it hurts you to do so.
"Are you okay?" Carol asks.
"Yeah."
"Let me help you with that," Fury offers and takes the wet dishes to dry.
He notices dry tears on your cheeks and gestures to Carol to talk to you.
"We beat the Kree and Ronan. What's wrong?"
"I don't know if I can go with you when you leave," you whisper.
This is a conversation to have privately so she puts it on the back burner for now. She rubs your back in a comforting way and takes out the pager that she took from Fury. She's modified it a bit so that he can always contact her whenever she may be.
"Here, there is something I want you to have. Plus, I need you to keep the Tesseract hidden here on Earth." She hands him the pager. "I upgraded it. The range should be a couple of galaxies, at least. For emergencies only."
"What? Do you think I'm gonna crank call you?"
"For emergencies only. From the looks of it, you'll have Y/N in case something goes wrong."
"Well, if you're ever passing back through this galaxy, be sure to give a brother a shout," he says. "I can finish up here. You two can take off."
"Come on."
Carol takes you outside to have a private conversation with you. She knows what you're going to say but lets you say it anyways.
"As much as I want to go with you, I can't leave Earth. The universe needs you, Carol but Earth needs me. The Tesseract is here, so someone is going to come for it sooner or later. She'll need someone to protect it."
"I agree."
"I'd be too selfish if I kept you from everyone else," you sigh sadly, "but I don't want to leave you. I love you."
"I love you, too. I'm not asking you to choose but I do have to leave. I can't stay on this planet knowing wars are going on out there that I can help fight."
"I know."
She pulls you in for a hug and allows you to cry on her shoulder for however long you need.
"This doesn't change anything between us. I want you to live your life. I don't know when I'll be back, but I don't want you to be lonely. I want you to meet someone, fall in love, and live your life. You'll always have a special place in my heart."
"So will you," you sniffle and pull away from her.
"If we are meant to be, we'll find our way back to each other. I can guarantee that."
"I should go, then. I wish you the best of luck, my love."
"Same here."
You kiss her one last time knowing this will be the last in a while. If you stay any longer, you're going to cry so you pull away from her and take off toad the sky. With no viable threat over your life, you can pick a place and settle down. You haven't had a home for at least fifty years.
New York has too many painful memories and London reminds you of Bucky. When you first came to Earth with Carol, you landed in Northern California. The beaches there are beautiful so maybe living in that state won't be such a bad thing. You can get a place along the beach and enjoy your life by yourself.
Malibu is nice this time of year, and you settle in quicker than you thought you were. You have a bit of money saved from the 40s that you never got to spend, so you use it to buy yourself a house on the beach. The town of Malibu is compact and busy but you don't mind being surrounded by this many people. It gives you an opportunity to learn about humans from what you missed over the years.
It takes a week after moving in to explore the town, so you're walking along the coast when you pass by a tall man sporting white hair and a mustache and a shorter woman with blonde hair.
"Y/N?"
You stop and face the couple with a confused look on your face.
"Yes. Do I know you?"
"It's me. Howard Stark."
"Howard? Wow, you've grown."
"You stayed exactly the same."
Hearing him say this makes you a bit sad knowing you'll probably never grow old. You'll always be the same age as you were when you first injected Markus' serum.
"Well, you know..."
"Wait, I thought you died. I thought you and Steve died when the plane went down. We searched for you two for months after the wreck."
"Steve died. I left Earth for fifty years."
"She's the one you were talking about?" Howard's wife says. "She's the Avatar?"
"That's me," you shrug.
"What are you doing here?"
"I bought a place on the beach. I spent the last sixty years fighting in wars I shouldn't have been fighting in. I figured what harm will it do if I take a few years to myself. What have you been up to?"
"I'm retired now. I have a few billion dollars to my name. I got married and had a son. Would you like to meet him?"
"Of course."
Howard and his wife, Maria, take you back to their house where their young adult son is.
"Tony? Come down here. There's someone I want you to meet." Tony comes down the stairs with a bored expression on his face. "Tony, this is Y/N."
Tony's heard the stories his father used to tell about a righteous man with super strength and a woman who can control the elements. He didn't think those stories were true until he sees you. There are very few pictures of Howard back in the day, but some of them contain you and Steve.
"Is this the same Y/N that you worked with back then? The one with Steve?"
If you're going to be in Tony's life, then he has a right to know exactly who you are.
"Yes, it is." You stick your hand out for him to shake, and you give him a polite smile. "It's very nice to meet you, Tony."
x
Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)
#carol danvers#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers fic#carol danvers fanfiction#carol danvers fanfic#carol danvers fan fiction#carol danvers fan fic#carol danvers fiction#carol danvers fluff#carol danvers angst#marvel fic#marvel fanfiction#marvel fan fiction#marvel fanfic#mcu fanfiction#marvel fiction#marvel fluff#marvel fan fic#marvel#mcu
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Carol Danvers
Photo credit from pinterest
Smut = 𖤓 | Fluff = ❁ | Angst = ☽ | Dark = 🕷 | Age Regression = ✧
I Want You 𖤓
I'm Ready 𖤓
#carol danvers x reader smut#carol danvers x you#carol danvers x reader#carol x reader#carol danvers smut#carol danvers#carol danvers x y/n#carol danvers angst#carol danvers fluff#carol danvers x fem!reader#carol danvers x female reader#carol danvers x reader fluff#carol danvers x reader angst
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hey babes 😏😏😏
LIKE MOB BOSSES CAROL AND VALKYRIE?! I HAVENT SEEN THE MARVELS HUT IM SEEING IT TOMORROW AND IM SO EXCITED BUT YEH AND MAYBE LIKE SOME JEALOUSY AND LIKE 😏😏😏 PUNISHMENTS AND SHIT
DOUBLE TROUBLE
PAIRINGS: CarolValkryie x reader
WORD COUNT: 679
WARNINGS: smut, double penetration, degrading, punishment, slapping, edging, overstimulation, threesomes, that’s abt it :)
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!
Reminder that this will be my last ever smut post!! Going forward I will not be writing smut so I apologize for those who did not get their asks answered
“No, I- I can’t,” You mumbled weakly, too tired to fight off the women surrounding you. Valkyrie was behind, her tip teasing the entrance of your tightest hole while Carol continued to slide in and out of your cunt. Her strap would rub her clit perfectly to cause just the right amount of friction, and her moans blended in with yours.
“Yes, you can, and you will.” Valkyrie groaned, seemingly tired of the ‘attitude’ you had been throwing towards both of them. Valkyrie wasn’t able to visit you and your girlfriend often, only when it was serious, and Carol had decided it was one of those times. You were nearing your period, and your hormones were spiraling like usual. Although, it was also the Holiday’s, and you had been missing both women, so you were in a worse mood than they could’ve expected.
“Look at that, baby, you’re taking Captain's cock so well,” You sniffled quietly, and they had to stifle a chuckle at your weakened expression.
“Don’t praise this little slut. They’ve been so, so naughty, it’s only fair we give them what they’ve been asking for.” Although it wasn’t at all what you were asking for. You wanted to be with the two women, between the two in a similar position as to how you are now. But you wanted to hear their soft praises on the shell of your ear. You wanted to feel their lips slowly moving down your neck and body. You wanted their hands to lovingly slide across your breasts, unlike the way they were groping you currently. You wanted to cum on their tongues, their fingers, their cocks; whatever it was they could give you. But you wanted them more than anything, and if this is what they were giving you, you wouldn’t dare to complain.
“Fuck, I’m already halfway, baby. You think you can take the rest of me, hm? You think this tight fucking ass can take Daddy’s cock?” You sniffled but lacked a response, causing a slap to arrive across your cheek. You whimpered, but quickly nodded without a thought, your mind barely registering what she asked.
“This must feel so fucking good, huh, darlin’? Having two cocks just destroying your holes, giving you no room to protest. This messy cunt seems to be betraying you when you say you don’t want this, little one.” Carol muttered close to your lips, quickly leaning down to take your bottom lip in her mouth as she bit down slightly, causing you to hiss in further pain. You didn’t know how much longer you could take, but you hoped they’d give in soon.
“C’mon, I know you want to cum for us,” She spoke once again, and you heard Valkyrie let out a deep groan as your skin touched the base of her strap. You shuttered, feeling both women deeper than ever before inside of you, the only hole left to fill was your mouth.
“Shh, just open, pretty girl.” You didn’t entirely understand what they meant, so you opened the barrier of your lips and spread your legs even further, both mumbling dirty praises in response. You felt two fingers thrusting into your mouth soon after, opening your eyes to see an arm from behind wrapping around to visit the said area. Her knuckles pressed against the sides of your cheeks, and you gagged as she forced herself impossibly deeper.
“I think this little slut likes having their holes filled, ‘cause they’re making a fucking mess.” You led your eyes down, quickly shutting them in shame as you admired the wetness leaking from you. You had never been this turned on, what were they doing to you?
“P’ease, Captain; please, D-daddy, let me cum f’ you.” In an instant you felt the two stilling inside of you, and it seemed they had wordlessly matched their arrivals as their moans seemed to bounce off each vibranium wall. This only brought you closer, and the dirty scent of sex filling the room only brought you further arousal.
“Cum for us, you dirty slut,”
#captain marvel fluff#captain marvel x reader smut#captain marvel x you#captain marvel angst#captain marvel x reader#captain marvel smut#captain marvel#carol danvers x female reader#carol danvers x y/n#carol danvers x reader smut#carol danvers x you#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers smut#carol danvers#carol danvers x valkyrie#king valkyrie x reader#valkyrie x reader fluff#valkyrie x reader angst#valkyrie angst#valkyrie x reader smut#valkyrie fluff#valkyrie smut#king valkyrie#carol x valkyrie#valkyrie x reader#valkyrie x carol danvers
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The stars
Summary: I see my lover when I look at the stars.
Pairing: Carol Danvers x female!reader
Warnings: sexism, men, it’s the 80s, some angst
Word count: 3902
a/n: second chance romance trope, I’m so happy with this you guys!!
Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore @natashamaximoff69
masterlists | guidelines
1985
Pancho’s bar wasn’t the fanciest place to work at as a young woman, especially because most of the customers are men from the air force. Their favorite past time besides drinking is trying to seduce Y/N, and get her number. But she isn’t interested in them, and never will be, though that’s something she’ll keep to herself. At least the constant flirting leads to good tips, which will eventually help her get out of the bar.
Y/N dries a glass with a rag now that she has some downtime. The rush time will start soon, so she wants to prepare for it to the best of her abilities. There are few regulars sitting either at a table or by the bar, but she knows they’ll let her know if they need anything, otherwise they like to quietly drink to their sorrows.
When the bell by the door rings, Y/N quickly glances at the new customers way, she only sees the air force logo on their clothes, making her roll her eyes. They’re out early today. She sets the cleans classes to their places and washes her hands, taking a deep breath, she gets ready for the onslaught of vulgar words.
“Hey, could we get two beers?”
Her head snaps up when she hears the feminine voice. Two women are standing in front of her with the air force clothes on and friendly smiles on their faces. Y/N stares at them with wide eyes for a moment. Sure every now and then women wonder into the bar, but she has never seen air force women come in.
Y/N regains her composure and grabs two beer glasses. “Sure thing! Which beers would you like?” Her customer service voice is cheery and slightly more high pitched than her normal one.
“Sierra Nevada, please.”
“Coming right up.” As Y/N moves to the taps to pour the beers, the two women start whispering and throwing looks between each other. Without Y/N noticing, the blonde woman’s gaze moves to places her eyes shouldn’t go. “Here you go.” She sets the beers in front of them.
“Thanks,” the woman glances at Y/N’s name tag, “Y/N. I’m Carol.” She hands some bills to pay for both of the drinks. “And this is Maria.” Carol states when she gets nudged to her side by the other woman.
“Nice to meet you.” Y/N says, her voice slower as she tries to figure out her intentions. Carol’s tone is similar to the multiple men who like flirt with her, though more genuine sounding, but surely that’s not what she is doing with her. “Here’s your change.”
“Keep it.” Carol winks before she and Maria go over to a table and sit down, leaving flustered Y/N at the bar.
She pockets the tip and start rearranging the dishes, trying to occupy her mind from wandering to incredibly good looking Carol.
When the clock strikes midnight, the bar is already at full swing. People are dancing to the loud music coming from the jukebox, and occasional bursts of laughter can be heard from the tables full of men, drunk men.
Y/N has been moved from behind the bar to the floor, bringing back empty classes and taking people’s drink orders. Because the other workers are men, they believe having a woman on the floor is better for business.
“Hey, sweetheart!” A drunken air force soldier shouts from a table full of them. He is waving his hand around in a come here motion. With a sigh, Y/N puts on her best smile and makes her way over to their table. “How much for a pretty girl like you to sit with us?” He waves a wad of cash in the air, his mouth formed in a grin that show his teeth. The others are staring at the two like it’s the best entertainment they’ve ever seen.
“Unfortunately I don’t have time to sit with customers. Is there anything else I could get you?” She smiles, holding a tray under her arm. She wants out of the situation, not liking the feeling of all the men’s eyes on her.
“Oh, come on, sweetheart.” The way the man says sweetheart makes Y/N want to gag. “Aren’t you supposed to do anything the customer want, eh? Besides, girls love money, don’t they?”
“I have to go help other customers, let me know if you want more drinks or something to eat.”
As Y/N goes to walk away from the table, the man grabs her arm. “Well hold on a second,” he slurs his words, “I ain’t done with you yet.”
Huffing, she glares at the man. She’s starting to get annoyed. “Listen, mister, I’m working right now, and have to attend to other customers as well.” Her voice has lost its cheery tone. “So, let me go.”
“Ooh, feisty!” One of the other man at the table comments. It makes the other laugh loudly, and enrages Y/N. She is aware this is a man’s world, but she is not going to be their entertainer.
Before Y/N can retaliate, someone else steps in to her rescue. “Hey. She said to let her go.” Carol stands next to her with her back straightened and shoulders pulled back. “So let her go.” Her voice is low, and her eyes are cold. She looks like someone you don’t want to mess around with.
“Well look at you,” the man scoffs, “it’s the wannabe soldier.” He sneers.
“Let the lady go, I’m warning you.”
“Oh, you’re warning me?” He stands up, still holding onto Y/N’s arm. All the humor has left him. “And what are you going to do about it?” He stands slightly taller than Carol, but it doesn’t seem to deter her.
The tension between the two start to grow. Y/N stands there, frozen, keeping her eyes on Carol. She doesn’t want to deal with this right now, her shift is supposed to end soon.
Suddenly, Carol raises her fist, and punches the man square in the jaw. He stumbles backwards into the chair he was sitting in, finally letting go of Y/N. “You bitch!” He shouts, wiping blood away from his lip. He goes to stand up, but before the situation escalates any further, one of the other bar workers come to escort him out.
“You okay?” Carol turns to look at Y/N once the men are out of the bar.
“Yeah,” she rubs the spot the man was holding onto, “thanks for helping.” Her mouth grows into a small smile. “That was kinda amazing.”
Grinning, Carol shrugs. “I have a things for saving pretty ladies who happen to work at this bar.”
Y/N lets out a small laugh as she shakes her head. “Okay, superhero.” Her voice is playful, but she can feel her cheeks flushing. “I have to get back to work now.”
“When do you get off?” Carol follows Y/N around while she picks up empty glasses.
“In twenty minutes.”
“I’ll walk you home,” she states, “me and Maria, I mean. You shouldn’t walk alone this late at night.”
Y/N bites the inside of her cheek. She glances at Carol, feeling warmth rush over her body when she sees the hopeful look on her face. “Alright. I’ll see you in twenty.” Giving her a smile, she returns back behind the bar.
Carol has a huge grin on her face as she stares at Y/N work. “What did I miss?” Maria walks over to her, having been occupied by beating a man’s ass in pool.
“We’re walking her home.”
Maria glances at Y/N, and nudges Carol’s side with a smirk. “You like her.”
“Maybe.”
1987
The front door of Y/N’s small, crappy apartment slams shut as she comes home from her shift at Pancho’s bar. It’s late at night, Y/N is exhausted, and she is sweaty, and she just wants to fall asleep without worrying about anything.
She throws her keys somewhere on top of the dresser she has next to her front door, and kicks her work shoes out of her feet. “Jesus!” A shout leaves out of her mouth when she turns around. Carol is standing there with a sheepish smile and a bouquet of flowers. “You scared the crap out of me.” She mumbles, holding a hand on her racing heart. “What are you doing here?”
“Sorry.” Carol sets the flowers next to Y/N’s key. “You gave me a key, so I wanted to surprise you. I didn’t remember you were working so late.” Her voice isn’t radiating the confidence it usually is. It’s softer and nervous.
The bouquet is big, it has more flowers Y/N has ever gotten before, and it’s wrapped with pink paper. “Thank you.” She smiles, picking up the bouquet and going to her so-called kitchen to put the flowers in a vase.
Carol follows her, staying close by, but still giving her space, she can see how tense Y/N’s body is. “Tough day at work?”
“Something like that.”
It turns quiet while Y/N fills a vase with water from the tap. The apartment doesn’t have any separate rooms besides the bathroom. All the kitchen appliances, a bed, small couch and a television are within reach of each other. It’s definitely not something Y/N wants to spend her whole life in, but she can survive in it, and that’s enough for now.
“How long were you waiting?” The vase gets set down to the single counter she has in the kitchen area.
Glancing at the clock, Carol hums. “Like, a couple of hours, maybe.”
“Carol,” Y/N sighs and rubs the space between her eyes, “you should’ve gone to sleep, don’t you need to be at the base tomorrow?”
“I took a day off.”
“Why would you do that?”
“To spend time with you.” The way Carol’s voice is so gentle makes Y/N want to cry after the day she has had.
Today’s shift felt ten times worse than any other shift in the past, it was full of drunk men and angry customers who genuinely believed in the fact that customer is always right, even when they aren’t. On top of that, her manager thinks the customers are more important than his employees, so he always found a way to satisfy the angry customers, which made them see Y/N as the bad guy.
“Hey,” Carol’s hands go to her cheeks, rubbing them softly, “why are you crying?”
“Sometimes I can’t handle it all.” She gets pulled into a warm embrace. “I was supposed to get out of here ages ago and see the world, but I just can’t get out of here.” Y/N sobs quietly, trying to hold herself back so she wouldn’t ruin Carol’s clothes with her tears and snot.
But Carol doesn’t care. One of her hands is rubbing Y/N’s back, while the other rests at the back of her head. She stays quiet, letting Y/N sob it all out in peace.
The two have been officially seeing each other for a while now. For the first year and a half they mostly danced around each other, both too anxious to make the first move in case they got the wrong impression, and the other person wasn’t interested in women after all. However, during that time, they became very close friends, so when Carol finally did do the first move—thanks to Maria—they moved forward pretty quickly.
Once Y/N tears start to subside, Carol whispers, “take a shower, I’ll make you a snack and ready your bed for us, okay?” Y/N nods, gives her a small peck to the cheek, and makes her way towards the bathroom.
Carol and Y/N are laying on top of each other on the bed as they watch a random movie that’s on one of the night channels. They should be asleep, but they really wanted to spend time with each other, as they don’t have a lot of opportunities to do so.
“Can i ask you something?” Y/N’s quiet voice almost goes past Carol.
“Yeah.”
“Why air force?”
“I’ve always wanted to fly.”
“Isn’t it scary?”
“No.” Carol smiles. She loves the feeling of being free in the air, having the possibility to go anywhere in the world she desires. Y/N hums quietly, not saying anything. “Why do you ask?” Carol tries to move her head in a way she’d be able to see Y/N’s face in the light coming from the television, while not disturbing her position on top of her.
“I just think it’s dangerous is all.”
“Are you worried about me?” She grins.
Y/N’s hand is resting under Carol’s shirt, tracing different shapes on her side. “Kind of hard not to be when i’m in love with you.” She whispers. The grin on Carol’s face falls at the words. She isn’t sure if she even heard her correctly, but she really hopes she did. Y/N moves her head up to see her. “I don’t want to lose you.”
The sentence assures Carol she heard correctly. “You won’t lose me, because I’ll always come back home to you. I love you.”
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
They kiss, both feeling the smiles on each other’s faces. Carol tightens her arms around Y/N as they pull away. She closes her eyes and listens to the soft sounds of Y/N’s breathing melting in with the sounds of the television, as they fall asleep.
1989
Y/N paces around her house, ruining her nails by biting them. Her eyes are locked on her phone. She is waiting for a call, from anyone, as long as someone calls her and tells her she is overthinking things, that Carol is okay. She has called Maria three times by now, and the air force base once, but none of the calls have been successful.
Carol was supposed to come over four hours ago, straight from work, but she hasn’t arrived yet, nor has she called Y/N to let her know she’ll be late, that’s what she usually does.
Groaning, Y/N picks up the phone and punches in Maria’s number, calling her again. “Come on, come on.” She mumbles, tapping her foot to the ground in a rapid pace. “Damn it!” The phone drops to the table with a crash, few plastic pieces flying off of it from the impact.
No one is answering.
She sits down to the couch, it creaks slightly every time someone moves on it, which had led to some uncomfortable make out sessions with Carol.
Most of her nails are already too short to bite, so she moves to the skin around her them, biting them until she bleeds. Her eyes are locked onto the muted television, desperately trying to distract herself from her thoughts. She is aware of her tendency to overthink and catastrophize things, she always thinks Carol is dead if she hasn’t called by the time she promised to, but that was never the actual situation. This is the same case. Carol isn’t dead, she just got caught up at the base. Nothing horrible has happened.
A knock on the door makes her body relax. Carol is finally here. She lets out a relieved laugh and goes to open the door, however, her face turns to a frown once she notices Maria standing behind it.
“Hey, where’s Carol?”
Maria looks tired. “Can I come inside?” As Y/N nods, she steps in and looks at the floor. “I think you should sit down.”
“Maria-“
“Please,” she looks up at her, “sit down.”
Y/N sits back down on the couch, while Maria stays standing up. She is gathering her thoughts while trying to take deep breaths. “Carol volunteered to pilot with Doctor Wendy Lawson on something important, and the plane, uhm..it-“
“Don’t you dare say it, Maria.” There are tears gathering in the corners of Y/N’s eyes. She knows where this is going, but she wishes she didn’t.
“The plane crashed.” Maria sits down next to Y/N when she starts properly crying. “They couldn’t find anyone, Carol is classified dead. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I wanted to come tell you because no one else would’ve.” No one else knows about their relationship.
Not being able to say anything, Y/N just leans against Maria, who has started crying as well. The person they both consider closest to them, is dead.
1995
It has been a week since Carol helped the Skrulls to get out of the Kree’s line of fire, which means it’s been a week since she got her memories back. Ever since then, only one thing has been in her mind, her lover.
It’s early morning as Carol and Maria drink coffee in the latter’s kitchen, Monica still sound asleep upstairs. “What happened with Y/N when I disappeared?” Carol asks, her voice quite hesitant.
Maria sets her cup down. “I’m not sure. She was obviously pretty devastated when I told her what had happened.”
“She doesn’t still work at Pancho’s, does she?”
“I don’t think so,” Maria frowns, “but Carol, I haven’t talked to her in a long time. She stopped answering my calls three years ago. I don’t know where she is, or how she’s doing.”
Sighing, Carol stands up. “I have to find her.”
Naturally, the first place Carol goes to is Y/N’s apartment, though she really hopes she won’t find her there, that she moved on and started travelling the world like she planned to.
She knocks on the door and waits. Nothing happens, so she knocks again, just in case. She’s almost ready to let out a sigh of relief, but soft sound of footsteps coming from inside the apartment stop her. As the steps grow closer, a small, selfish part of her wishes it’s Y/N who opens the door.
Somehow she feels more pain than relief when the door opens, and Y/N stands before her.
They stare at each other, both stunned by the sight in front of them. Y/N has bags under her eyes, and her hair is messy. She is wearing an old t-shirt that once belonged to Carol, her legs are bare.
She goes to slam the door closed, thinking she has finally gone mad, but Carol’s hand stops it from moving. “You aren’t real.” Y/N’s voice is shaky. Her eyes are closed, she doesn’t want to see the person standing in front of her, because it can’t possibly be Carol.
“I’m real.” Carol whispers, but Y/N only shakes her head as an answer. “I didn’t die, I was captured by Krees after we crashed.”
“You aren’t making any sense, you aren’t real.”
“Can you let me in, please?” Gently, Carol sets her hand on top of Y/N’s hand, that is still holding onto the door. The touch makes Y/N open her eyes, and turn them towards Carol. She stares at her for a long while before opening the door wider.
As Carol walks inside the familiar apartment, she looks around for any changes, but it looks exactly the same as it did six years ago. She hates it. While Carol walks deeper into the tiny apartment, Y/N stays by the front door. Her arms are crossed over her chest in a protective kind of way.
“You weren’t supposed to stay here.”
“I couldn’t leave y-“ she stops herself, “Carol.” She isn’t entirely sure if the woman in her house truly is her Carol. “What happened? Who are the Kree?”
“It’s a long story.” She has a gentle grin on her face, one that reminds Y/N so much of the way Carol used to look at her. “You might want to sit down for it.” Y/N shakes her head, staying right where she is. Carol frowns, but nods, sitting down to the couch. It still creaks anytime weight gets put on it. “Shorter version of it is: when we crashed, Dr. Lawson told me the truth about her mission before he was shot by a Kree. Before he could kill me too, I destroyed an engine, which made me absorb energy of a Tesseract, so the Kree took me with him to their planet Hala. I was integrated to their society, I had no memories of my human life. A bunch of years later, I crashed back to Earth, a lot of fighting happened, I discovered my true power and my memories, and helped the Skrulls.”
“I don’t know what any of that means.” Y/N whispers. Any time Carol used to talk about air force things with her, she felt dumb, but all of this is making her think they aren’t even speaking the same language anymore.
“I was in space, and I have powers now.”
“Like a superhero?”
Carol smiles, nodding. “Yeah, I’m a real life superhero now.”
“You already were a superhero in my eyes.”
Standing up, she takes a few tentative steps towards her. All she wants to do is hold her, kiss her, tell her she’ll never leave her again. But Carol can still see the hesitation in Y/N’s eyes, she can see the years of pain and exhaustion in her expression.
“But then you died.”
Carol stops. She’s close to Y/N, but too far away to touch her. Oh, how desperately she just wants to feel her soft skin under her palm again, even if the years without her have hardened it. “I’m here now.” She pleads with her eyes—please believe me.
“You won’t stay,” Y/N states quietly, “if you’re a hero now.”
“I can take you with me, wherever I go. I won’t leave you again. I’ll help you get out of this place.” Carol takes another few steps forward, reaching her hand towards Y/N. “Please give me another chance.”
Y/N stares at her hand. It’s more calloused than before, rougher. She grips the skin on top of her ribs tightly, trying to ground herself, she feels like ripping herself apart.
“Please.” Her voice cracks. Her eyes are wet with unshed tears. “I can’t live without you.”
Y/N grabs her hand with her own shaking one. Carol squeezes with a smile, pulling her close slow enough that Y/N can stop her if she wishes to. Once they are chest against chest, she pulls her into a full embrace. The waterworks start from the both of them the second they’re in each other’s arms. Carol letting out all of the pent up grief she wasn’t even aware she had, and Y/N still trying to grasp the reality of the situation.
“I missed you.” Y/N chokes out between her sobs. “I missed you so much.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” Carol holds onto her girl so tightly, pressing her against her body like she’d disappear if she let go. “I’m going to show you the world now, because you deserve so much better than this place. I’ll never let you go.”
Although, Y/N doesn’t trust in promises anymore, some small part inside of her sparks hope, that she’ll truly never be separated from Carol again. She’ll even go all the to the stars for her if she has to.
#marvel#mcu#mcu imagine#marvel imagine#mcu fanfiction#fluff#angst#carol danvers#carol danvers x female reader#carol danvers x y/n#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers imagine#carol danvers x you#carol danvers x fem!reader#carol danvers fanfiction#carol danvers x female!reader#captain marvel x y/n#captain marvel x female reader#captain marvel imagine#captain marvel x reader#captain marvel#captain marvel x you#captain marvel x fem!reader#maria rambeau#platonic captain marvel x maria rambeau#upat4amwiththemoon trope challenge#second chance romance
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THE SHADOW II
The Shadow 2
Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader
Count: 3691
…
“The nerve!” Jessica snaps when she sees you.
“Hey there, hot stuff.” You smile from her couch against the wall. The action makes you flinch though, and your entire body goes rigid when a new wave of pain washes through you.
“What the hell happened to you?” She asks, picking up on your state and hurrying around her apartment. You keep your eyes closed as you press your hands against your bleeding waist.
“I hate bullet wounds.” You tell her, as you swallow with difficulty. “Through and through though. I’ll be fine in a bit.”
“My couch better not be stained!” She warns you, and you open your eyes to see her carrying a small first aid kit.
You chuckle dryly, and immediately groan in pain right after. You keep your eyes closed and you move your hands away when she nudges you, not so gently.
You grit your teeth as she cleans up the wound. Your entire body is shaking, you can’t ignore the pain that is seeping through, but you endure it quietly.
“There are three holes here.” Jessica tells you with a tone and you smile, your teeth chattering as you look at her.
“Through and through, though.” You tell her with difficulty, and she huffs a smile. She takes off her jacket, and then goes back to cleaning your wounds.
“I haven’t seen you in fourteen months, and you just show up all bloody on my couch.” She dabs at your wounds a little harshly and you hiss in pain, but refuse to open your eyes.
“I’ve missed you too, babes.” You speak but she dabs harder, and you end up pushing her hands away. “I had - nowhere - else to go.” You admit, even though admitting it hurts just as much as the bullet wounds do.
Maybe that’s an exaggeration.
“The Avengers are still looking for you.” She tells you pointedly and you grip her wrist, and glare at her. No.
You’re breathing with difficulty, this pain is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. “They keep track of me just in case you show up here. They think I don’t know. The little shits.”
“Wait. What?” You panic, and when she shakes her hand free from your grip easily, you begin to worry. “I don’t think those were average bullets, Jess.”
Coming here was a mistake, but you couldn’t go back to your hideout because they were following you. Maybe Jessica is in danger now too, you don’t know.
“No shit.” She sarcastically says as she continues to wipe away dried blood from your skin. “I thought you could regenerate fast.”
“I can.” You speak as your vision begins to blur. “I always have. Some - some - something’s wrong.”
“Don’t you fucking pass out on me, you hear me?” She tells you harshly and even though you try to stay awake, you pass out.
…
You wake up with your hands and ankles restrained to the bed where you’re laying. You test them but you’re still feeling a bit groggy, although you’re no longer in pain.
“Don’t even try it.” You grin at hearing that voice, but whatever joy you might have felt, quickly vanishes when you see the look on Natasha’s face.
“Hey, you wouldn’t mind letting me out of these things, would ya?” You try to move your hands, but the restraints don’t give an inch.
Natasha is standing by the lone large window, wearing her tactical suit, and the look on her face is almost enough to make you start begging for forgiveness.
Her hair is longer now and she’s braided it to a side, and you’ve missed her so much that the mere sight of her makes you regret a lot of things.
“We tried to find you.” She tells you accusatorily, and you look away from her.
You left for a reason, and of course you knew they were looking for you but you needed to stay away. They’re better off without you in their lives… all of them are.
“You people just don’t give up, do you?” You ask her, and she chuckles humorlessly before walking closer to your bed.
“Spare me the bullshit.” She tells you dryly. You could never hide anything from her before, you don’t know how you believed that you could hide this from her.
“I was made to be alone.” You tell her and her features soften somehow, her eyes take you in with a sadness that you feel so clearly in your bones but there is something more in her eyes too. “I was made to destroy.”
“That’s not - ” She growls, making you flinch with her outburst, but she restrains herself. There’s real anger in her face now, undeniable rage that you should fear, yet it only manages to break your heart.
“I’ve missed you.” You admit out loud and she sighs, hands on her waist as she gathers her thoughts. Your self proclaimed big sister is a force to be reckoned with, and you’ve missed her like crazy.
“You’re an idiot.” She pointedly tells you with a nod of her head. You look away again, she’s hurt and she seems troubled, but you weren’t ready to come back here. “Where did they find you?”
Her question makes you take a pause, that serves to silently curse yourself.
“What?” You ask her.
“Hydra, where did they find you?” When all you can do is stare at her in shock, she shakes her head before sitting on the edge of your bed. “Despite your incredible skill set, you’re not exactly subtle.”
“You knew they were after me?” You ask her, now understanding their actions a bit better.
For the last six months you’ve had to dodge the Avengers just as much as you dodged Hydra, and now you know why.
“They came for Barnes. Almost took him, we took a hit that day. Tony broke his arms and Clint officially retired the morning after." Her voice is entirely monotone, but it still leaves you breathless. You can only see her profile from this angle, but that’s enough.
“Are they - Tasha, are they okay now?”
“Barnes is in Wakanda.” She tells you without looking back at you. “Tony is, well, he’s Tony. Clint lost his footing off the roof - if Wanda hadn’t - ” she chokes up, and you feel your tears rolling down the sides of your face.
The team, your team, your friends… These are the people that once saved you, and you left them to fight their battles alone. Worse than that, you left them to fight your battles on their own.
“If Wanda hadn't seen him falling, he’d be dead.” She clears her throat with finality, and she turns to look at you. “We tried to find you to warn you, or to bring you in.”
“I’m sorry.” You apologize, but you know it won’t be enough. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Hmm.” She frowns but she schools her expression immediately after, and you know you’ve said the wrong thing. “You were poisoned. Bruce made an antidote. Your body healed as soon as it took effect. You’re fine to go.”
She tells you all this while untying you. You watch her go about setting you free, but when she’s done all you can do is blink.
“If you ever need medical assistance again, you know where to find us.” She walks out of the room without another word before you have the chance to respond.
…
Guilt embraces you like it never has before. This is exactly why they should just let you leave, forget about you. This is exactly what you do, destroy, it's what you were built for.
You curse the moment they came to love you. The moment that you came to love them. Their lives would be a lot easier if they could just stop caring… or if you had never crossed their paths.
You leave the bed, and head straight towards the small ensuite. After a quick shower you stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom to inspect your wounds. There are barely any scars now, whatever poison they shot you with was nothing more than a warning.
They were just letting you know that they’re right on your tail, and you don’t know how to feel about it.
You don’t want to go back to Hydra. You promised yourself that you’d die first before that ever happens. You can’t go back to being their slave. You won’t.
You take your pick from the small closet, and end up wearing custom made avengers sweats and shirt. Even the underwear has their logo on it. You’d smile if you weren’t absolutely terrified of facing each and every single one of them again.
“It’s true then.” Tony enters the room you’re in, hands behind his back and looking warily at you. “The prodigal daughter returns.”
“More like dragged in while I was unconscious, but yeah.” You quickly reply, and he grins at you with a fondness that’s quickly replaced by something else.
“Nobody is expecting you to stay. I just wanted you to know that.” The way he says it, as if he’s trying to take a weight off your shoulders, makes you want to drive your head through the nearest wall.
“Shouldn’t you be arresting me?” You ask him as you dig for shoes in the closet, that you thankfully find. You’ll have to ask about your own shoes later.
“Why did you do it?” He asks you, and you refuse to look at him while you put on some socks and sneakers. “Why did you just disappear like that? I thought - we all thought that you were part of the team.”
He sure as hell gave you a hard time about it in the past. You relationship with Stark has always been complicated, and you both know you do better by walking around the edges. Still.
“Don’t tell me you’ve grown fond of me, Stark. ‘Cause I remember you hating the idea of having a former Hydra agent on your precious little team.”
The atmosphere takes a sharp turn after your reply, whatever neutral ground was reached in those first few minutes of interaction gives in beneath your feet and when you notice it, it’s already too late.
“You proved me right.” He spits at you angrily, and you grit your teeth in anger as you stand to face him properly. “Did you ever take a moment to think about Rogers or Romanoff while you were running away? About Danvers, and what your little stunt did to her?”
He gets in your face as he spits all that at you, and while you were prepared to take whatever he threw at you, the mention of Carol’s name makes you snap.
You push him off without holding back, and his back crashes against the nearest wall with so much force that fear washes over him, in the second it takes you to crowd over to him.
“Do not fucking pretend to know me, Stark.” You warn him but he still tries to push you back, only for you to grab a hold of his shirt and push him against the wall again, hard.
“Hey, hey, hey! Back off.” Rhodey enters the room and although he doesn’t touch you, he still tries to put himself in between you and Tony. “Back off.” He tells you again, softer than before, his eyes pleading with you.
You glare daggers at Tony, but guilt quickly takes over you again when he touches the back of his head and winces slightly.
“I know you.” He nods, snarling, he’s glaring right back. “You’re nothing more than a scared child. You’re that afraid of being loved? Of having a home? What the hell did they do to you?”
His questions make your blood boil. He’s advancing towards you again, angrier and completely ignoring Rhodey’s attempts to keep him back.
“Tough luck, princess.” He’s a couple of inches away from you, his finger digging into your shoulder as you refuse to look into his eyes, focused on the wrinkled collar of his dress shirt to avoid him from seeing what he already knows reflected in your eyes.
“We gave you a safe haven despite our feelings, despite the impressive resume that you came along with. We made you part of our family, and trusted you.”
You fist your hands on your sides and will yourself to endure whatever he wants to throw at you, even while your heart is breaking the longer he lists your flaws. It’s nothing you don’t already know, you tell yourself.
You deserve his anger, you wanted their anger when you last walked away. You never planned to be here again.
“We never pretended to keep you chained inside these four walls. Didn’t we deserve at least a phone call?”
You don’t look up, even when he tries to catch your eyes when you refuse to look up.
You never should have gone to Jessica’s.
“You could have saved us a lot of problems, but you were never that interested in the team, were you? You never cared for the work we do or the sacrifices we make every day to be able to protect earth.”
“I left because of the team.” You reply to that, and he laughs mockingly. His smile resembles a snarl more than anything, but you don’t take the bait this time.
“You were never a hero, and we should have known better.” He spits with venom, and you push him away again when he gets too close. This time Rhodey doesn’t try to intervene, not even when Tony advances again and you grip his shirt to keep him at arm's length.
“I left because of the team, Stark. I left so that Carol could stay. I left so that Steve and Natasha could move on.”
“Oh, we should be grateful then.” Tony struggles to speak against the hold you have on his shirt and the second you realize, you let him go.
“Don’t you get it?” You ask him as he tries to catch his breath. “All I ever do is hurt people. Everyone around me always ends up paying the price of knowing me.”
...
Steve levels you with a look that you've familiarized yourself with very well in the past. Disappointment.
For a moment you’re tempted to shower him with explanations, but the only thing you can do is look away from him.
“Nice sweats.” Wanda tells you when you walk inside the meeting room, and she might be the only one who’s smiling genuinely at you.
“That face.” You smile and when you realize you’re smiling, you can’t stop doing it. You wrap her in a hug and aren’t completely surprised when that feels like coming home. You’ve missed her dearly.
“You’re hard to find.” She tells you and you nod, if a bit sadly. “You’re here now, come on.” She pulls you further inside, and sits next to you, never letting go of your hand.
The moment you look up though you see Carol walk inside, and her eyes meet yours for the briefest of moments before she looks away. You try to control your emotions but you’re suddenly back on that roof, walking away from her.
The things you told her… God. The lies you said to push her away.
“Long time, no see.” She speaks, and with a start you realize that she’s talking to you.
“Yeah.” You say as you take her in. She looks - she looks great.
It feels like an out of body experience, to be here sitting across from her. You never expected to ever talk to her again, not after the things you told her.
“How've you been?” She asks, and you swallow with difficulty. Is that who you two are now? People that make small talk, and pretend that one of you didn’t say horrible things to push the other one away?
“You look great.” You tell her, avoiding answering her question, and she looks down at her feet with a frown on her face. You’ve been on the run, and she knows it. You’ve been barely surviving, and there’s nothing great about that.
The meeting concerns you directly. Steve is laying out a plan that has been meticulously thought out for months, and you should be paying attention, you should be focusing.
But Carol’s hair is longer than you remember, and it frames her face in a way that makes her look soft, approachable. She’s wearing an oversized yellow sweater, her hands fisting the ends of the sleeves as she listens to the captain, and your heart aches at the sight of her.
You remember what it was like to kiss her, and the way it made you feel. You remember what it was like to touch her, and the hunger that always overtook you when she was at your reach. You remember what it was like to laugh with her, and how easy it was to spend time with her.
You remember the hurt in her face when she thought you didn’t love her, and how it devastated you to leave. You remember the tears gathering in her eyes when you told her she was nothing more than a fuckbuddy, on the rooftop of a building in Berlin fourteen months ago.
You remember how it hurt to walk away, and how badly you wanted to return - for her.
You remember loving her in secret, and you remember her loving you the best way she could.
“You in?” She suddenly turns to you, and you watch her struggling to keep eye contact with you.
You blink yourself back to the present, and focus on what she’s asking. You’ll never be able to erase the past and you both know it. But out of all the things you’ve done, you regret losing her the most.
You’re a weapon. You were made to be a weapon. You were trained to be a monster. You were wired to be heartless. You are destruction, and not even she could change that.
“All the way.” You still answer, because even if you can’t change the past you need her to know that she could never be nothing… not to you.
…
You’re dismissed, and Vision is asked to shadow you while you settle. You’re a flight risk, or at least they think you are.
You’re not going anywhere, not until Hydra is buried once again, and the mark on your back is erased for good.
It’s almost midnight by the time you finally enter your room, or what it used to be your room. Everything looks the same, of course, your old clothes are in the closet and the few photographs of the team you liked best are still tucked neatly on the edge of the mirror frame atop the vanity.
You haven’t missed this room until this very moment, and you want to come back with renewed intensity. You had a family, you had a place where you were beginning to think that you might belong.
“Is everything alright?” Vision asks, and with a start you remember that he’s still following you.
“Sure.” You nod at his direction, and he nods back.
“I know this must be - uncomfortable.” He says, and you send him an agreeing look. “Captain’s orders.” He shrugs, apologetic and perhaps even a little embarrassed to be here with you.
“You’ll watch me sleep?” You ask him teasingly, and he smiles.
“I’ll turn around.” He jokes back, and you’re laughing when a knock on your door has you both looking over.
Vision answers, and then he turns to smile softly at you. Carol is standing awkwardly on the other side of the door, and you begin to panic.
“I think I’ll - I’ll wait outside.” Vision says before he retreats, sensing something.
“Hey.” You wave, and Carol breathes in deeply as she looks at you.
You want, and you want.
“Can we talk?” She asks, and you’re nodding when she walks inside your room with hesitation in her every step.
You remember her crossing the same door frame countless times in the past, but never looking as uncomfortable as she does now.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” She starts as you close the door. The tension that has been building up in the pit of your stomach is quick to unleash, and you turn to her.
God! You can’t believe she’s here and you can’t believe - you can’t understand why you do the things that you do.
“I’m sorry.” You tell her, and she pulls at the sleeves of her sweater.
For a phrase you have never been fond of saying, it sure keeps slipping past your tongue rather easily today.
“I need to tell you something.” She says again and you take two steps closer to her. God, you love her. You do but you can’t - you don’t even know who you really are. You’re no good for her. You don’t know how to love right.
“I love you. I do.” You tell her in a rush, and her face morphs into an expression of pain. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” She asks, and you look down at your feet. You feel so awkward, so ashamed and so incredibly vulnerable.
It’s been fourteen months, you have no right to be telling her this now.
“I’m not… good. I’m not good, Carol.”
She stares at you, as if analyzing you, and you refuse to look away. You can’t know what goes through her mind the longer she looks at you, you only hope that she believes you.
“What do you mean?” She asks softly, and you don’t know how to answer that. “I didn’t come here looking for an explanation for what happened between us. That’s in the past.”
She frowns when you continue to be quiet, and it’s between watching her and waiting for her to continue that you catch a glimpse of the necklace she’s wearing, and the pendants resting against her collarbone.
You try not to stare, but the hour glass and the R are all you can suddenly see.
Realization washes over you slowly, and so incredibly heavily that you’re almost tempted to sit on the floor.
“You are not what Hydra made you to be.” She tells you, but you have a hard time processing her words. “You are good, and you are enough.”
You’ve surely had stab wounds hurt less than this.
She’s moved on, of course she has. Isn’t that what you wanted for her? You wanted her to be happy, you wanted her to be with someone worth loving.
“I have something important to tell you.” She says again, and you blink yourself back to this moment. You know exactly what she’s gonna say, and you don’t know what to do.
“Natasha and I - ” she trails off to clear her throat, and you’re not even sure if you have the right to react. “We’ve been dating for a couple of months now.”
Hearing her say it is by far the hardest thing that you’ve ever endured. It makes you feel sick, the thought of her with someone else, even though you have no right.
She’s moved on with the person you admire the most. She’s dating the one person that you can actually be thankful for.
“That’s - ” you speak with a dry throat, and you’re forced to swallow down with difficulty. “That’s great.”
“I looked for you and I found you, remember?” She goes on, and you shake your head. She says it as if justifying her reasons, which she doesn’t need to do.
“You don’t have to explain anything - ”
“You told me you love me two minutes ago.” She cuts you off. “You made it very clear that you never felt the same way about me before.”
“I did say those things.” You admit, just as tears gather in her eyes. You hurt her, and you know it.
You have no right to act this way.
This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You wanted her away, you wanted her safe from you… and now she is.
“I shouldn’t have said that.”
“That you love me, or that I was nothing more than a good fuck?”
The anger in her voice is subtle, but it’s there and it makes you want to recoil, but you meet her stare anyway.
“Both.” You tell her, and she cleans her tears away in a rush.
“I don’t even know why I came here.” She says, and you look away. The more you see her, the more you realize that you just want to reach out, and touch her.
You want her for yourself, but you know that you’re no good, and you never will be. You still need her away because you’re not certain of who - or what you are.
Some things never change, you conclude. You’re still destruction, and no matter where you go or what you do, destruction is all you’re good at. It's all you always bring, even to yourself.
…
Tagging: @graniairish @thiskingdomwillendure @unicorniusfallapatorius
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Once Upon A Time I Used To Know A Girl
Chapter 1
Carol Danvers x Reader
Masterlist | This work's masterlist | AO3
Summary: A mission gone wrong results in you losing a large part of your memory. What happens when you wake up and you can't remember the love of your life?
Angst, Slow Burn, Amnesia.
Big thanks to my friend, @cordeliasdarling , for betaing most of this fic :)
Word count: 827
You Don’t Even Know You’re An Angel
Captain Marvel’s ship lands on the Avengers compound, as soon as the door opens she carries your body out to the medical team who already awaited your arrival. There is worry and fear all over her features. She lays you onto the stretcher and follows them to the med bay. You go into immediate surgery and she is forced to wait outside.
Not long after, Fury finds her and sits beside her, "It was an ambush, I didn’t see it coming. She was unconscious when I found her," she says, tears running down her face.
Fury puts an arm around her, "She’s gonna be okay," is all he can say.
After several hours of surgery doctor Cho comes out to find Carol. She explains everything they did to you and how they’re gonna follow up next, "She’s gonna make it," that’s all Carol hears and it’s enough to allow her to breathe again.
"Thank you, can I come see her?" Her voice is desperate.
"It’s best to let her rest for now, you should get some rest yourself." The Captain nods and reluctantly goes to find one of the empty rooms upstairs.
A couple of days go by and you remain unconscious, Carol awaits anxiously to see you, but doctor Cho advises against it. She hasn’t slept at all, the trauma of seeing the love of her life lay almost lifeless before her too heavy to bear.
The next morning Kamala is sitting with The Captain attempting to cheer her up when the doctor comes to find her. "Can we talk? Privately."
Kamala goes to stand up, but Carol stops her, "Stay," she instructs before directing her attention to doctor Cho, "what is it?"
"It looks like she’s gonna make a full physical recovery, but there has been some damage to her brain" the doctor explains quickly so as to not get anyones hopes up.
"What do you mean?" Carol asks with a shaky voice.
"There are indications of memory loss, but it is impossible to tell the gravity of it until she wakes up." The Captain looks at her intently, "You may come see her now."
Carol walks slowly into your room, Kamala following her closely. You’re still asleep, looking weak and hooked to more machines than they can count. The Captain approaches you and carefully holds one of your hands, almost as if you’d crumble if she held it too tight, "I’m so sorry I let this happen to you, angel, you’re gonna be okay and I’ll be right here with you," she whispers, trying to stop a sob from escaping. Kamala can only watch the scene unfold in front of her, unsure of what she should do.
Some time goes by and they settle for sitting in the room and waiting to see what happens. Kamala takes it upon herself to distract Carol from the unconscious body of her lover. They’re in the middle of a heated argument about some menial topic when the heart rate monitor starts beeping faster and you stir awake. "I’ll go find doctor Cho," the girl jumps to her feet.
The blond woman stands up instinctively and gets closer to you, "Hey," is all she can muster.
"Hey," you respond, your voice is raspy.
"You’re awake." A smile begins to form on her face.
"Yeah, where am I?"
"We’re at the compound." Her voice is impossibly soft, you nod in understanding, "Kamala went to get doctor Cho."
You pause for a moment, "So you’re not my doctor?" She falls silent.
The doctor arrives, followed by the brunette girl and she begins to perform some tests on you, after confirming everything physical is in order she begins to ask you some questions.
"Do you remember your name?"
"Yes."
"Do you know where we are?"
"Yes."
"Do you remember what happened?"
"No."
"You were on a mission that went wrong," she explains, "do you remember your partner?"
The blonde woman looks at you expectantly, holding out every last bit of hope, "No." She feels like she’s just been stabbed in the chest, unable to take it anymore she storms out of the room.
"Okay," the doctor begins, "it seems you have lost some of your memory. However, the extent of that you will have to find out on your own. Everything physical looks fine, I’m afraid there is nothing else we can do for you."
A nurse comes by to give you a care package and pain meds, you’re ready to leave when you see the brunette girl still standing in the room, "Can I help you?"
Recognizing the severity of the situation and realizing that no one else is gonna take charge she decides to take matters into her own hands. She puts on a big smile and says, "I’m Kamala and I have been appointed your re-orientation agent."
It takes you a moment to register her words, "Did you just make that up?"
"Follow me." Her smile not faltering.
Tell me all your thoughts!
Let me know if you wanna be tagged :)
Chapter 2
#Carol danvers#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers angst#captain marvel#captain marvel x reader#kamala khan#valkyrie
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Tolerate it
Summary: Everyone assumed you were fine, but what would they do if you just... broke free?
Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader; undertones of Carol Danvers x Reader; Platonic Clint Barton x Reader; mentions of platonic Wanda Maximoff x Reader.
Word count: Around 6K
TW: Deep angst, assassination attempt, betrayal of trust, suicidal thoughts, dealing with grief, self sacrifices.
A/N: I've been in the mood for angst, apparently. And I actually wasn't planning on writing anything (I shouldn't have, I was short for time as it was), but I was listening to Taytay and the fic just came to me. This will probably hurt a lot. Just hurt, not much comfort. Let there be pain.
You didn't know what you did wrong. You didn't know how you could fix this. You didn't know if it even could be fixed.
All you did, all you could do, was just sit there and watch her. She was reading, her head low, almost as if she was trying to keep a barrier between you two.
You sat in the corner of the room, watching her as she immersed herself in reports. The soft glow of the lamp cast a delicate halo around her, illuminating her beautiful, beautiful features. And yet, on that night, as on many before, the light seemed unable to reach her eyes.
You knew she was struggling, you were too. Everyone was. The Blip had taken many from their families, and the toll it took on those who stayed made many more lose their loved ones. The remaining Avengers lost Clint to his own darkness, and you lost the love of your life to what you could only describe as self-isolation.
Natasha had always had an unhealthy work-life balance, yet you always managed to counter that… But not anymore.
You had been together for what felt like an eternity, intertwined in a love that once knew no bounds. Now, though, there was a growing chasm separating the two of you. Natasha would only engage in conversations that revolved around missions and saving the world, and none of those came from you.
You used to be an Avenger too, with powers so astronomical that you never learned to control them. Bruce and Tony had to create some sort of inhibitor for you, lest you destroy the world by mistake.
You were probably one of the most powerful beings out there, but having no control whatsoever of your powers would only bring destruction, so you learned to live without them, the bracelet Tony made never leaving your wrist.
Being a somewhat powerless avenger was hard, but it was worth it. You saved people, you helped your friends.
But since the Blip things have changed.
After watching Wanda, one of your best friends, disappear right in front of your eyes; after seeing Clint's descent into darkness, you didn't feel like fighting anymore. So you decided to stop, you stopped so you could take care of yourself, take care of Natasha.
They were small, the things you did for her, but meaningful nonetheless. You'd wait by the door every day to greet her like a god-damned war hero, to show her some love and comfort after a hard day at work; you'd make her favorite dishes, lay the table with your best cutlery; you even took upon painting as it seemed to ease your mind, and you'd use your best colors for her portraits (and there were many)... And yet, all Natasha gave back were lukewarm smiles; hums, and nods in acknowledgment of your attempts at conversation, and a lackluster "thanks".
She seemed to simply… Tolerate it.
~
You woke up in the wee hours of the morning, the sun hadn't risen yet, and the moonlight shone through the curtains, casting a soft glow across the room. Your gaze fell upon Natasha, who lay beside you sleeping lightly. The rise and fall of her chest matched the rhythm of her breathing, a calming sight that used to bring you comfort.
But then, as you watched her, you noticed a subtle alteration in her breathing patterns, something that would go unnoticed by anyone else. The steady rhythm became irregular, interrupted by moments of slightly shallower breaths and the briefest of pauses. There was a tension in her muscles that hadn't been there a second ago, almost as if a silent battle was being waged beneath her immaculate skin.
Natasha's eyes remained closed, her face serene as if she was lost in the most peaceful of dreams. But you knew the truth. She was pretending to be asleep. It felt like she didn't want to wake up beside you, like she simply tolerated your presence, but now even that tolerance seemed to be waning.
You wanted to reach out, to offer her solace, to take all the pain away, but the invisible barrier between you seemed impossible to break through. The distance that had grown between you now felt like a vast expanse, impossible to bridge. Her closed eyes spoke volumes, a silent plea for space, for time, for avoidance.
Your heart ached with the weight of unspoken words, your eyes burned with the sting of unshed tears. You missed Clint, he'd know how to deal with this, he'd help her, but he'd help you, too. He'd hug you and tell you that everything was gonna be ok, he'd make sure it'd turn out that way. You missed Wanda, she'd take you out to eat ice cream, watch silly sitcoms with you, tell you the stupidest jokes just to see you crack a smile, she'd even threaten Natasha if she imagined the other redhead was hurting you in any way, shape or form.
You missed your life, your old life, before the Blip.
You turned away from her, not wanting her to see the tears in your eyes in case she opened hers.
~
As it turns out, the first time Natasha had a semblance of a real conversation with you in… You don't even know how many weeks… Was to ask you to join a team to take down whatever new evil had shown up.
You didn't even think twice about it, you took the job, you'd do anything to get closer to her again.
The team consisted of you, Steve, and Carol, who was visiting Earth. You didn't even know where you were headed or who you were facing, you just wanted to come back with an excuse to actually talk to your fianceé.
As you prepared to get into the jet, you saw her there, giving off directions before everyone boarded. You wrestled with conflicting emotions, torn between respecting Natasha's need for distance and the overwhelming desire to break through the walls she had erected.
You felt a hand on your shoulder then, too warm to be Nat's, and you immediately felt the comfort she radiated.
Carol wasn't the most sentimental person, she wouldn't tell you that everything would be fine, she wouldn't offer comforting words, but she'd be there, a warm unwavering presence amidst the chaos (even if you rarely saw each other in person). She was the one good thing that the Blip brought you.
"Don't think too much about it," the blonde said, already knowing what was on your mind. "Keep your head in the game, I don't want you getting hurt out there, ok?"
You nodded while managing to keep to yourself the strong urge to hug her, to seek comfort in that friendly and familiar warmth of hers.
She nodded back, turned and boarded the jet, having already reviewed with Natasha her role in the mission.
You looked at your fianceé only to find her eyes already on you. You didn't think too much into it, though, she was probably just reviewing in her head the role you'd have for this mission.
Once again you found yourself wanting to go to her, but the fear of rejection loomed over you, a haunting presence that whispered of the potential pain that awaited if you ventured too close.
You turned away and stepped in the jet.
~
You stumbled into the Avengers' compound, a dull ache radiating from your wounded shoulder, the bloodstained clothes doing nothing to give you comfort.
The mission had taken an unexpected turn, and both you and Steve got shot. Multiple times.
As soon as you stepped through the quinjet's door Natasha was there, the worry in her eyes making you question if you were hallucinating. She walked to you, her eyes never leaving yours, it was almost as if you could feel her again, the old Natasha, your Natasha.
"What the fuck happened? You weren't supposed to get hurt!" she exclaimed in a mix of anger, desperation and concern. She ran her hands through her unkempt hair. It was an uncommon sight, indeed, to see her so disheveled.
You knew she had been worried, the moment Steve reported back you could hear her pacing back and forth through the comms, you just didn't know it would affect her this much. You didn't think she cared anymore.
Almost as if sensing your thoughts, Natasha took a hesitant step closer and reached for your hands. "You got me really worried." She said, her eyes looking deep into yours, her hands soothingly cold to the touch.
You could see she wanted to say something else, but almost as if she was waging a silent war against herself, she shook her head, released your hands and sighed. "Go to the med bay. I'll meet you there."
You nodded weakly, too tired from blood loss to argue. Too tired in general.
As you made your way to the medical facilities, the pain in your shoulder intensifying with each step, you couldn't help but think of all the times Clint saved your ass from stupid bullet wounds like these, or how Wanda would literally create a shield around you whenever you faced danger.
You missed them, you missed Wanda so much, and you couldn't help but wish it was you and not her. And Clint, god, you hated what he became, you hated the Ronin, you hated that he wasn't there to heal by your side, to heal with Natasha, but you still missed him so much.
As you entered the med bay, you were greeted by a warmth that made you question how she could have gotten there first.
"Bold move, jumping in front of a sea of bullets like that" Carol said, there was no warmth in her voice though. You closed your eyes.
"I couldn't let them shoot that child," you said, sitting on a cot and looking apologetically at her.
Carol gritted her teeth, her eyes scanning your wounded shoulder, the part of you that got the most hits, with a mix of worry and anger written across her face.
"So you just deemed your life less valuable than hers and decided to throw it away?" She clenched her fists.
"That's not it and you know it," you said in a small voice. It was worse, but no, she didn't know it. She didn't need to. You didn't want to burden her too.
Carol's eyes softened, she took a couple steps towards you and touched your uninjured shoulder. "I just worry about you, sweet girl." She said and sighed, "Look, I know you don't have much to live for right now, but you're one of my best friends, I wouldn't be able to deal with it if something ever happened to you. And by the looks of it neither would Natasha, despite all the shit she's been pulling."
It was amazing how Carol, just like Wanda before her, was able to fill you with lightness. With them, as well as with Clint, you felt cherished, cared for. You could never be more thankful for the blonde in front of you. Without Clint and Wanda here to support your near Natasha-less life, Carol was the one thing keeping you sane.
You just wished being sane was enough.
You managed a weak smile, though, and even if felt forced, it still seemed to have convinced Carol that you were ok. "I'll be fine, Carebear. Just a flesh wound. I know I haven't been in the field for a while, but it's nothing I can't handle."
Carol fought off a smirk. "Promise me you won't pull shit like that again, at least".
You saluted her, a mocking smile on your face, despite the ache you felt inside. "Aye, aye, Captain!"
She chuckled and shook her head, "You're the worst".
"But you love it!" Your answering smile was more genuine this time.
Her smile grew bigger, and you wished you could see it in person more often.
"I actually do." She said, shaking her head once more and turning away to leave the med bay.
It didn't take long for a nurse to come to tend to you. There were many bullet wounds around your body, although most were superficial. The worst was indeed your shoulder, having been hit four times.
You bitterly wondered how you could still be alive with all of these bullet holes around your body.
The minutes passed by, and yet there was no sign of Natasha, so after all your wounds have been treated and dressed you decided to go look for the redhead.
It was a bad idea. As you located her, your heart sank. There she was, tending to Steve's wounds, her focus solely on him. Even though there was nothing romantic about the situation, the sight of them together stirred a mix of emotions within you. Jealousy, longing, confusion. Betrayal. You wondered if there was something more between Natasha and Steve, a connection that surpassed friendship. You wondered why she would deem him deserving of having his wounds treated personally by her while you were sent to a nameless nurse.
Your mind raced, struggling with the whirlwind of emotions that engulfed you. Doubts crept in, and you questioned the very nature of your relationship with Natasha. Did she even love you still? Has she ever? Where was that woman who threw blankets over your barbed wire, leaving you just soft enough for all your other friends to approach? Why has she left you behind in her pursuit to build this new world instead of taking you along with her? The uncertainty gnawed at you, intensifying the ache in your shoulder. You made her your temple, your mural, your sky, but now you were left begging for footnotes in the story of her life.
As you stood there, watching her tend to his injuries, a deep sense of loneliness washed over you. The weight of the lack of acknowledgment you've been getting from her grew heavier, casting a shadow over the bond you once shared. The pain in your shoulder felt insignificant compared to the ache in your soul.
At that moment, you realized you couldn't take it anymore. You loved Natasha, you would probably love her till the end of your days, but you knew your love should be celebrated, and yet all she did was tolerate it.
~
You never thought about what she would do if you broke free, leaving the two of you in ruins. But that's what you did, you took the chains that bound you to Natasha and broke them.
You still longed for her, though, the neverending love you held for the woman felt like a dagger piercing your heart, a constant reminder of what you craved for, of what you once had. You wanted to remove it, to see it clatter to the ground as you bled out.
It was weird to gain the weight of her then lose it, but you needed to do it, you had to.
You were doing it for her as much as for yourself. Natasha had lost so, so much, but there was one person who could still come back, so you went to look for him, more in hopes of helping her than fulfilling your own desire of seeing him again.
Even if she didn't love you (which was the impression you got when you told her you'd be gone, looking for Clint, only to get a blank stare in response), you still loved her, you still wanted her to be as happy as she could, and you knew Clint was the person to make that happen, he was her best friend as much as he was yours.
You needed to help her heal somehow.
"She's been a mess since you left," Carol had said once during a video call, the vast expansion of the universe now looming right behind her, "don't ever tell her I said that, though." The grimace on her face told you she wasn't kidding.
"Steve's been trying to help more, even I am; I've been to earth since you left more times than I've been throughout my whole life. I'm afraid that if I stay gone too long, she won't be there when I come back… Since you left she barely takes care of herself. The place's a mess, she hasn't been eating much, and, again, don't ever tell her I said this, but I thought I'd never see her cry, and yet…"
You wondered if it had been all in your head, the way she seemed to avoid you, the way she seemed to take you for granted, the way she seemed to merely tolerate you.
In the midst of a turbulent storm of emotions, a newfound sense of urgency propelled your every step. You needed to find Clint, you needed to find him so you could go back to her, to see if she was really deteriorating that much, to ask her if it was all in your head, if you got it wrong somehow, if she actually loved you.
Time seemed to both crawl and fly, leaving you with moments of self-reflection in the solitude of your journey. Doubts and insecurities waged war within you, tearing at the fabric of your clarity. What if you discovered that Natasha's love had been genuine, but she had struggled to express it? What if she was simply too freshly traumatized to express it, and you had abandoned her at her worst moment?
You needed to go back to her, even if it was just to figure it out. But you wouldn't go back without Clint, you couldn't.
So you searched, and searched, and searched. And as you finally stood before Clint, his weathered face bearing the marks of his own battles, you found yourself engulfed in a deep ache. Two of the people you loved the most were immersed in pain, and you could do nothing to help.
"I can't believe you traveled so far, came all the way here for this," Clint spat, his voice filled with anger, his eyes filled with tears. "To ask me to come back so I can help her. Do you even worry about me? Did you ever stop to think that I lost my family? My wife's gone, Y/N! I lost my kids! Do you really think that I'm not dealing with my own shit right now?"
You shook your head, tears welled up in your eyes too, matching the anguish in your voice. "Fuck you, Clint! I'm not here just for her and you know that! You're my best friend, goddamnit, and you've been gone for years! I know you're hurting, but you gotta know that what you're doing is wrong, and it's not gonna bring Laura and the kids back." You shook your head, remembering the way the kids would all call you auntie Y/N/N. You sighed and shook your head in disappointment. "They would actually be ashamed of what you became."
You knew it was a low blow, but it was the truth, and he needed to hear it
The moment he seemed to register those words, Clint's eyes became full of this sort of anger that you've never seen your friend display. But again, this wasn't Hawkeye, this was Ronin.
Clint advanced upon you with rage in his eyes, his hand went to your throat, a dagger suddenly pressing against your ribs.
"Take that back." He said through gritted teeth, and you felt your eyes filling with tears once again.
Of course he wasn't above hurting you like this. He, too, didn't care about your own pain.
You were tired, you were so fucking tired.
"Do it." You said, your voice devoid of emotions, the hollowness you now felt was all it conveyed. "It's not gonna make any difference if I'm gone, anyway."
You'd be just another death on his account, just a wisp of a memory in Natasha's mind.
Clint's brows furrowed, but his grip was unrelenting. You took your hands to his, the one holding the dagger, and pulled it up, so it wasn't resting above your ribs anymore, but right at your heart.
"Please," you said with a wavering voice, looking him deep in the eyes, trying to appeal no more to your friend, but to Ronin, "do it. Please."
The dagger clattered to the ground, Clint took a step away, looking at his hand as if it had personally offended him. He then looked at you, but you didn't meet his eyes, you were too absorbed looking at the dagger on the ground, feeling the brisk sense of freedom evading you as it finally stopped moving.
You then felt his arms around you, your head suddenly tucked into his neck.
"I'm so sorry," he said, his voice sounding desperate "I'm so sorry, Y/N, I'm so sorry," he kept repeating, and repeating, and repeating.
You shook your head, your own desperation making you cling to him "Why didn't you do it? Why couldn't you just kill me?!"
His arms tightened around you as you both fell to your knees.
"I'm sorry," he just repeated, "I'm sorry I took this path, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I wasn't a good friend."
You wished that he being sorry was enough.
~
When you came back, there was a talk about fucking time travel. The Ant-guy was back, and so was Tony, Thor, and even Bruce. Everything seemed to be falling into place, so why did you still feel so…. broken?
But, somehow, as you and Clint stepped foot inside the Avengers compound, the familiar surroundings embraced you like a long-lost home. The tension that has seemed to permeate your very bones during the journey began to ease, replaced by a cautious hope for what awaited you.
You knew things wouldn’t instantly fix themselves up; Natasha wouldn’t just come to you and apologize for all she’s done (no, that wasn’t like her at all); your heart wouldn’t suddenly be mended, even if she did; your mind wouldn't let you forget the pain, the deep ache the past five years inflicted upon you.
And yet, there was hope.
There was the possibility of bringing Wanda back, of having Carol around more often, of doing something good for humanity. Of making Natasha happy again.
The moment the doors opened you saw her. She was talking to the Ant-guy and to Bruce, her brows furrowed as she nodded along.
And then she turned her head and caught sight of you, and of who was by your side. Her eyes widened in disbelief when she saw Clint standing there, and a glimmer of something flickered within them, something akin to hope, but also akin to sorrow. Without a second thought, she started walking in your direction, coming faster and faster until she was running.
When Natasha reached Clint, she threw her arms around him, pulling him into a long-awaited embrace. Tears pooled in her eyes, slowly streaming down her cheeks as she closed them.
There was a little lightness in your heart as you saw them hug, some sort of knowing that she'd be ok even if you weren't around anymore. She wouldn't starve herself, she wouldn't push everyone away, she wouldn't shut down. She'd survive, and then she'd move on.
In that moment, as Natasha clung to Clint, her teary eyes slowly opened. There, through the blur of her emotions, she looked right at you. And the gratitude that radiated from her gaze was palpable, as if a thousand unspoken words were contained within that single look.
Her hold on Clint loosened slightly as her eyes locked onto yours, lingering for a brief, intense moment. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you suspended in time as the weight of her gaze met yours. It felt as if the universe held its very breath, waiting for the next chapter to unfold.
You wished you could say you could feel her love through that gaze, but you didn't know if you could use that word to describe what Natasha felt for you. Maybe she regretted what she did; maybe you became her anchor, even if unbeknownst to you, and she felt like she needed you to function; maybe she felt like she owed you something for bringing Clint back. You didn't know what it was, but you couldn't shake the feeling that the word love would be the wrong one to describe her feelings for you. Gratitude, thankfulness, maybe, but not love.
You smiled a sad smile, and nodded your head in acknowledgment to the gratitude in her eyes.
Natasha furrowed her brows and pulled away from Clint as she saw you walking away from her, but before she could come after you, Clint caught her hand and walked towards the opposite direction. He wanted a conversation in private.
You just knew he was going to tear her a new one for what she did to you. During your journey back he had apologized more times than you could count, his words still engraved in your mind.
"I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust," he had vowed, his voice filled with determination. "I'll prove to you day after day that I care, that I value our friendship above all else. What happened the other day… it'll never happen again, I promise you that. I was too absorbed in my own pain, so much so that I hurt you, but I would never do that intentionally, Y/N. You're like a sister to me, I'd never willingly hurt you. I love you too much for that."
Maybe his love was real, but you didn't have it in yourself to just forgive and forget.
Maybe one day the gods would deem you worthy of love. True love, not the kind that hurts you.
~
"A soul for a soul" the Redskull said, turning the vast expense of cosmic beauty before you into something bleak, final. "You must sacrifice that which you love."
Your eyes wandered, drinking in the breathtaking scenery, the towering cliffs and cascading waterfalls; it seemed like a paradise carved from dreams.
But the words hanging in the air casted a somber shadow over the planet's beauty, and as you stood near its vibrant precipice, the weight of what had to be done pressed upon the three of you.
Destiny had brought you here, demanding a sacrifice.
It was a curse and a blessing all at once.
"If we don't get that stone, billions of people stay dead," Natasha stated, her voice tinged with determination, almost as if she was trying to keep herself strong.
Of course she'd want to be sacrificed, the selfless fool that she was.
Clint's gaze met hers, his eyes filled with a mixture of conflict and resignation. "Then I guess we both know who it's got to be," he replied, the weight of his words hanging heavily in the air. They didn't spare a single glance your way, it was almost as if they had mutually decided that you were to live.
A subtle sadness washed over Natasha's features as she nodded in agreement. "I guess we do."
You closed your eyes. You had been wanting this for so long, you had craved the peace I'd bring, you had fantasized about it, about closing your eyes and never opening them again.
And yet… you found yourself wanting to cling to life with an unwavering grip.
As Clint and Natasha looked at each other, you found yourself wanting to greet Laura, Lila, Coop and Nate when they came back, you found yourself wanting to have a nice day out with Yelena. You found yourself wanting to embrace Wanda and never let her go.
It hurt to know you wouldn't be able to do any of that.
"I'm starting to think we mean different people here, Natasha." Clint said then, his voice wavering slightly.
For a moment, Natasha's gaze lingered on Clint, her eyes reflecting the depth of her conviction. "For the last five years, I've been trying to do one thing: get to right here," she confessed. "That's all it's been about. Bringing everybody back."
She looked at you then, her eyes brimming with tears "I was so focused on it that I drove away the one person I had promised myself never to hurt.",
You couldn't look her in the eye, you couldn't let her see your decision through your gaze.
Clint's shoulders seemed to sag, you could see the self-blame he felt right through his eyes, even if they were focused on Nat. "And that's why it gotta be me. You spent all this time trying to help what was left of the world. Me… you know what I've done. You know what I've become." He shook his head, his eyes turning to you as well "If you haven't gotten to me, I'd still be killing an untold number of people without a care for who it'd hurt."
"Well," you said, shrugging, trying to lighten the mood a little "I don't judge people on their worst mistakes." There was no point in holding grudges anymore.
"Neither do I." Natasha said, looking at him. Her eyes turned to you then, full of sadness, longing , and regret. "I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
You walked towards her and pulled her in by the hand, your forehead resting against hers.
"I love you, Nat. You've been forgiven since day one." You said.
Natasha's tears streamed down her cheeks as she buried her face in the crook of your neck.
You saw from the corner of your eye Clint taking a step back, as if to go to the cliff. You extended your hand to him as well. He stopped in his tracks and took a couple steps in your direction, taking your hand in his.
He smiled a sad smile, his eyes red. "Tell my family I love them" he said, and tried to pull his hand away, but you gripped it with all the strength you had.
"Tell them yourself," Natasha said, pulling away from you as well.
You sighed, your eyes burning with unshed tears. You didn't want to die anymore. You wanted to live.
But you couldn't let them sacrifice themselves.
You ripped the bracelet Tony made from your wrist. It clattered on the ground. Natasha and Clint's eyes widened, almost as if they hadn't even thought of the possibility of you being the one to jump.
You felt an unbearable heat rising up from inside out, your lungs burned, your chest, your torso, your whole body.
"Y/N what the hell are you doing?!?" Natasha yelled out, trying to get to the bracelet on the floor, but the burning winds that seemed to suddenly emanate from you wouldn't let her get closer.
"Take care of each other. And of Wanda and Carol. That 's all I ask." You said, your voice no longer solely yours.
You saw a rising shadow on the ground, signaling the presence of wings on your back. Blood red wings engulfed in flames. The Phoenix's wings.
Clint was rooted to the ground, your power vicious enough to paralyze those of weaker minds.
Natasha, though? She was fighting to get to you, the winds clearly burning her skin, yet she didn't give up. You turned away from her, not wanting to see her struggle.
It was a short walk to the edge of the cliff, you didn't want to look back. If you said goodbye it'd make it feel more real. So you just jumped.
And then you felt her hand on your wrist, the searing heat making her skin burn, and yet, she didn't let go.
"No, please. Not you." She cried, and even with tear stained cheeks she was the most beautiful woman you've ever seen "I can't lose you like this. The world can't lose you. You're the only one of us that really deserves to live life to its full potential."
And then, as if her touch made your power purr in her presence, Clint broke free, running to where you were dangling and taking your other wrist in his hands.
This was hurting them, both physically and mentally, you saw the skin on their hands blistering, you saw the redness in their arms, the tears in their eyes not just from the pain.
"Let me go," you said with a sad smile. They had their families, they had their jobs, their missions; their homes.
You had nothing, all you did was take up too much space or time. They deserved to live, even if you left them in ruins.
"It's not gonna work!" Natasha shouted in desperation, her expression one of pure anguish "I don't love you! It's not gonna work!"
You smiled sadly at her. She really didn't love you, did she? She just tolerated you.
"It 's ok, Natty. It'll work. You may not love me, but Clint does " you said, smiling at her through your own tears.
"Y/N, please, don't do this," Clint begged too, sobbing as he held onto you with all his strength.
"It's ok," you repeated, and if it was to calm them or yourself , you didn't know, "it's gonna be ok".
You used whatever little control you had over your powers to push them away. As your body tumbled to the ground the last thing you remembered was the way Natasha used to laugh at your jokes, enjoy your food, take you out on dates. The last thing you remembered was how she used to love your presence, and not just tolerate it.
Maybe one day someone would be enough to have their love celebrated by her.
~
When Natasha and Clint woke up not much later in a galaxy colored lake, she clutched the stone that had appeared in her hands, wishing with all her might that it turned out different, that the last words she said to you weren't "I don't love you."
She loved you. Always did. Always would.
~
Wanda sat in front of your gravestone, her hair disheveled, her eyes red shot, her cheeks tear stained. She hugged her knees as she sobbed, longing for the presence of who could no longer be by her side. She had lost her parents, then Pietro, Vision, and now you.
She sobbed more and more, the pitiful sound getting louder.
She felt a hand on her shoulder then, and she looked up to see red shot brown eyes.
Carol sat beside her, taking her hand and squeezing it a little.
She understood what Wanda was going through, she was grieving you as well, and even though Wanda and Vision were planning on starting a life together, the witch suspected the Captain wouldn't have said no if you'd asked the same thing from her. So she, too, lost her love, even if she never got the courage to confess it.
It was a hot day, the sunlight shone perpendicular through the clearing where your grave has been put, creating a magical scenery all around the place.
And yes, the day was hot, but was it supposed to be this hot?
Wanda shook her head, her brows starting to sweat.
And then the sunlight vanished, as if something gigantic was blocking its path. She and Carol looked up, but all they could see were the trees blocking the sky from view.
The animalistic cry they heard didn't come from the trees, though.
Neither did the blood red feather falling through the leaves, its tip engulfed in fire.
Wanda and Carol looked at each other, and for the first time in weeks, they smiled.
Natasha Romanoff Taglist: @strangegardentaco, @madamevirgo, @Lovelyy-moonlight, @agent99galanzo, @red1culous
#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanov#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff#natalia alianovna romanova#natasha romanoff x you#black widow x you#black widow x reader#natasha imagine#natasha romanoff imagine#black widow#black widow imagine#platonic clint Barton#clint barton x reader#carol danvers x you#carol danvers x reader#natasha romanoff angst#tolerate it#taylor swift made me do it#based on a taylor swift song#taylors version
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Captain Marvel: Part One
Pairing: Carol Danvers x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~2.3k
Warnings: canon violence and angst
Author’s Note: For the sake of this rewrite, Howard and Maria Stark dies on December 16, 1997 instead of 1991. Tony is 23 when they die.
x
What planet will be your next home? Where are you going to go? The love of your life and your best friend are dead, there's no one tying you to Earth, and you're free to go wherever you want for however long. Maybe drifting in space is the way to go at this point. There isn't a habitable planet in Earth's solar system, so you have to go outside of it to find one.
Space is an ever-expanding place with trillions of planets in just one galaxy. There's bound to be a habitable planet somewhere close by. The Solar System is located closer to the edge of the Milky Way galaxy than the middle of it, and when you reach the center of the galaxy, there is a whole mess of planets just waiting for you to claim them.
Off in the distance, you notice a gigantic spaceship hovering over a planet. If you're nice enough, maybe whoever is occupying that ship might let you hang with them for a while. From the time you escaped your home to arriving on Earth, there have been plenty of spaceships you've come across. Some of them weren't hostile, but others made your skin crawl from how evil the occupants could be.
Let's hope this craft is the former.
As you approach the ship, someone from inside notices you coming toward them. A circle opened on the base of the wing of the craft right above you, and they use their technology to beam you up into their craft. In a flash, you're transported from space onto the lower deck. Everyone inside had blue skin and they all had their space guns trained on you. They must not like intruders.
The person in the middle must be their leader because they all seem to look to him for instruction.
"I mean you no harm. I just wish to ask for transportation to the nearest habitable planet," you say with your hands up in defense mode.
They clearly don't want visitors, so you'll have to make do on another planet by yourself. Your space helmet is removed digitally, but the rest of your suit stays on your body in case they kick you out of their ship.
"Where are you from?" the leader asks.
"Sir, she's from Xenia," one of the soldiers says.
He must have seen the logo on your back which you tried so hard to hide. Your home planet has a lot of bad blood with other planets, even from multiple galaxies away. Markus was smart, but he wasn't very hospitable. The leader quickly aims his gun at you, causing the other soldiers to be on high alert.
They need to kill for him whenever he asks it of them.
"Xenia. What business do you have with us, the Kree Empire? That planet has caused nothing but trouble for a lot of people."
"I know, but I don't mean you harm. It's been such a long time since the great battle, things are different now."
"What's your name?"
"Y/N."
"How lucky am I to have come across the subject that was injected with the power that comes from the Tesseract?" he asks with an evil grin. He gestures to someone behind you and that someone puts handcuffs on you so quickly that you don't have time to react. One of the soldiers presses something to your neck which sends a chill down your spine. The leader walks closer to you and bends to reach your level. "I can't wait to find out more about you, Y/N."
"Ronan, where would you like her?"
"With the others."
Two soldiers drag you down to where they hold all of their prisoners. You'd use your powers to get out of here, but whatever they planted on your neck prevents you from shifting.
You're screwed beyond belief.
"In here," the guard seethes as he throws you into one of their cages.
There are many slaves and hostages on this level of the ship, but only one person shares your cage. He is the same shade of blue as the other soldiers, and you wonder if they would lock one of their own down here.
"What's your name?" the man asks without looking up from his spot on the cot. The pain is still there from the injection in your neck, but the burning in your spine is gone. "They do that to every single one of us. They have to do it daily because they aren't smart enough to make the effects last longer than twenty-four hours."
"I'm Y/N. Who are you?"
"They call me Yondu. What put you down here with the rest of us?"
"They found out who I am. If I had known they were the Kree, I would have never come aboard this ship," you whisper.
"And who are you?"
"I'm from Xenia. They want me because I have the power of the Tesseract running through my veins."
"You're in for a lot of pain, Y/N. They had the Tesseract once, but it was stolen from them. Now they're looking for it, and if they know that its power runs within you, then you're going to become their new best friend," he chuckles.
"What did they put in my neck? I can't use my powers."
"Yeah, it stops them. Most everyone here has powers, but that injection stops it from working."
"It's nice to meet you, Yondu," you sigh and sit on your own cot. The only response you get is a grunt followed by a nod.
Ronan is smart not to keep clocks or dates of any kind around the prisoners because not having a sense of time is torturous. The other slaves mark their walls each day they're trapped, and some of them have well over hundreds of days. You're not going to find a better way to keep track of the time, so you opted to do this same thing.
The first few years of being trapped were the worst. Ronan did everything he could to try and break you. He tried every form of torture you could think of, but nothing compares to the torture Markus did to you. Yeah, what Ronan did hurt but after a few years, you became numb to it.
Their efforts are kind of amusing at this point. So, when you're brought into their "torture chamber", you don't bat an eye for them.
"You know, Y/N, I'm impressed," Ronan says. "Not a lot of people can hold out the way you can. What, it's been six years since you first came aboard this ship? You're stronger than I thought."
"Is this going somewhere? If not, can I go back to my cell now?"
"Do you know why I favor you over the rest? Because of where you came from."
"Xenia?"
"I'm not talking about Xenia. I'm talking about Markus Hottle. He created the best weapon ever to walk this universe."
"Yeah, he's so great," you roll your eyes.
"What I don't understand is why he didn't make more of you after you left. I heard about what you did, so I asked to hold a meeting with him but he never showed."
"Yeah, that sounds like Markus."
"Where is he?"
"I have no idea. Quite literally."
Ronan nods twice before grabbing a long metal stick that he favors whenever he tortures someone. You don't blink when he raises the stick and slams it into your abdomen. He throws the stick off to the side and grabs your jaw tightly to make you look at him.
"Where is he?"
"Go to hell," you gasp.
"I have contacts on Xenia who could find him. I bet he'd love to know where you are."
"Go ahead. Call him. Tell him where I am. I've been dying to kill him myself," you glare.
He's bluffing and he knows you know it. If Markus is out there, then contacting Ronan would be the last thing he'd do. Markus is smart and he likes to keep people in his life that will benefit him. Ronan is sloppy and greedy and someone who Markus would never do business with.
Six years with Ronan turns into twelve and eventually, you run out of room on your wall to mark up. Sharing a cell with Yondu makes the time go by faster because despite being slaves with him, he's a really nice person. He's been your best friend, your rock for the entire time you've been here.
Ronan likes to filter through his slaves so they all receive the same treatment, and he's just summoned the people in the cell next to yours. That can only mean you and Yondu are next. He might be from a different planet than humans, but you're the one with the powers. Anytime you can, you try to make them focus on you since you can heal from their efforts to break you.
"Do you ever think we're getting out of here?" you ask Yondu when they return the other prisoners to their cells.
"I don't know. I don't like to think about stuff like that. It gives false hope. Ronan has the entire place on lockdown."
"Do you think people are still looking for you?"
"Unlikely. My parents never cared much for me. They're the ones who solved me to Ronan to pay off debt. I was too young to have mattered to anyone. What about you?"
"Anyone I do know can't rescue me. Humans don't know they're not alone, and the ones that do, don't have the ability to space travel. Humans aren't as technologically advanced as I hoped they'd be. No one's coming for me," you sigh.
"Y/N, you're up," one of the guards says as he approaches your cage.
"What, you scared to take me? Are you some kind of coward?" Yondu argues when the guard grabs you.
The guard looks at Yondu and considers taking him, but before he can let go of you, intervene. There is no way he's taking the fall. If Ronan wants you, then it's you he's going to get."
"Are you scared to hit a girl? Are you afraid I'm going to beat your ass if I get free? I bet Ronan is going to kill you if you bring him instead of me." The guard must follow Ronan's orders or else he's going to face his wrath. The guard shoves your wrists into handcuffs and drags you to the entrance of the cell. You look back at Yondu who looks like he's going to cry. "It's okay. I'll be okay."
When you return, Yondu is sleeping so you do your best not to wake him up. Your entire body is sore from the beatings you took but it's not like you're going to show them how much they're hurting you. You're not sure how much time has passed when Yondu shakes you awake.
"Y/N, wake up," he whispers. Sleep isn't something that comes easily on Ronan's ship, so you're not sure why he's up when he doesn't have to be. "Come with me. We're getting off this ship."
"What?"
"I'll explain it later. Come on, we have to go now."
Yondu doesn't give you time to think about what's happening because he's pulling you out of your bed. With groggy eyes, you follow him out of your cell and down the hall where someone is waiting for you. He didn't look like Kree but the last thing you're going to do is say anything. You trust Yondu with your life, so you know he wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't legit. The stranger leads you and Yondu through a service elevator to a lower level where a group of people is waiting.
There is a window next to the elevator and when you look through it, you see a huge ship. If Ronan doesn't know about this, he will soon.
"You'll need this. Put it on. I found it in storage. It had your name on it."
The stranger hands you the space suit that you had when you first arrived. After putting it on, the stranger leads you and Yondu to one of the loading docks where their ship is hooked to. The metal door shuts behind you so that when the stranger opens the door to his ship, the rest of Ronan's ship isn't affected by space.
Everyone flies from Ronan's ship to the strangers, and as soon as the doors closed, the ship takes off.
"What's going on, Yondu?" you ask and take off your helmet.
"My name is Stakar Ogord, and you've just been rescued by the Ravagers. Compliments of Yondu."
Stakar starts walking towards the main deck of the ship, and you look at Yondu for some answers.
"I told you we're getting out of that hell hole. I met someone who knew of Stakar. We've escaped."
"Yeah into the hands of the Ravagers. I've heard of them. I'm no thief."
Stakar stops and turns to you with narrowed eyes.
"Would you rather I take you back to the Kree?"
"No, she wouldn't," Yondu says for you. "We're grateful for your rescue."
"That's what I thought. I'll give you two a day to get settled before I recruit you to our team."
A lot of different planets around Earth are much more technologically advanced, but you've never seen some of this stuff before.
"Wait, year is it?" you ask.
"1962."
His words stop you in your tracks.
"We were prisoners for twenty years?" you gasp softly.
"Time flies by when you're getting picked and prodded at by Ronan," Yondu sighs.
"Twenty years," you mutter as you take a seat.
Twenty years.
Everyone you knew and loved either is dead or you've been pushed to the back of their minds. No one is coming for you now. Earth doesn't need you anymore, so there's no point in going back to it.
Another twenty years of stealing with the Ravagers go by before Stakar sees potential in you and Yondu to the point where he grants you your own division. You and Yondu can break away from the main clan and steal on your own as long as most of the profits go back to him. This gives you and Yondu some breathing room since you won't have Stakar breathing down your neck all the damn time.
x
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#carol danvers#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers fanfiction#carol danvers fanfic#carol danvers fic#carol danvers fan fic#carol danvers fan fiction#carol danvers fiction#carol danvers fluff#carol danvers angst#marvel#marvel fanfiction#marvel fic#marvel fan fiction#marvel fanfic#marvel fan fic#mcu#marvel fluff#mcu fanfiction#marvel fiction
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it's not your fault.
pairings: carol danver x fury!reader
genre: angst + some fluff
you're standing in the compound with your arms crossed. your mind is racing. it won't stop.
you can't stop picturing it all. the ash blowing in the wind. the screams and cries for help. so many people that just...vanished. and your father was one of them.
"where's fury?" the voice broke you from your haze. you turned around slowly, meeting the soft brown eyes of captain marvel herself.
you'd never personally met her and your father hardly ever mentioned her, so seeing her standing two feet away from you was a bit of a shock.
she was beautiful.
natasha spoke for you, knowing you were having a hard time. "he's gone. with the rest of them," she assumed carol knew what she meant. everyone knew.
there wasn't a single person in this room who hadn't lost someone. carol blinked back tears and took a deep breath, "what can i do?"
she seemed determined to help. to try and fix it somehow. you turned back towards the hologram of your father with a sullen expression.
you knew there was nothing she could do. he was gone. the man that raised you and trained you and taught you to be the strong, courageous woman you were today.
at some point everyone had left the room. everyone except carol. you were stunned to see her standing so close, you must've dissociated for a moment.
"how did you know him?" she asked, eyes on his pixelated face. you furrowed your brows and cleared throat before speaking, "he's my dad."
her head snapped in your direction and her mouth hung open ever so slightly in disbelief, "i didn't know fury had a daughter."
you laughed half heartedly, "yup. he was a very secretive man, wasn't he?"
she nodded, trying to wrap her mind around the situation still.
"i just can't believe he's gone," your voice broke and unwanted tears poured down your cheeks.
carol didn't know what to do. she wasn't the best at comforting people or even dealing with her own emotions.
"i'm sorry," you said as you wiped away at your face. she shook her head and suddenly it came naturally.
she wrapped her arms around you and held you tightly against her. "hey, it's not your fault." she whispered, which only made you cry harder.
you felt like a disappointment. your father was dead and there was nothing you could do to save him. bullshit. you didn't even try.
she stroked the back of your head carefully, "it's going to be okay." you sniffled and pulled away from the hug.
"do you know what the last thing i said to him was?" carol waited, understanding that the question was more rhetorical. "i told him that he was a selfish man. that he was more concerned about being director of shield than he ever was my father," you confessed.
carol still had her hands on your shoulders as if it was the only thing keeping you stable.
"and is that true?" she asked. you looked down, "it doesn't matter. i was angry and i didn't mean it. and had i known-" you paused to keep the tears from coming back up.
carol cupped your face in her hands and made you look her in the eye. "listen to me." you looked up at her. "i will get him back. i promise."
and maybe it was your desperation for any sign of hope or the ever so authoritative and optimistic way she said it, but you believed her.
#marvel#mcu#fanfiction#avengers#marvel fluff#fluff#marvel angst#angst#carol danvers imagine#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers#nick fury#captain marvel#oneshot#marvel wlw#wlw
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MASTERLIST AND SHIT
MINORS DNI
PEOPLE I WILL WRITE FOR: Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff, Kate Bishop, Possibly others if requested.
THINGS I WILL WRITE: Legal age gap, Mommy/Daddy kink, smut, fluff, amab/intersex (only for characters not reader), pregnancy, breeding kink, praise kink, degration kink, thigh riding, dark fics, sensitive topics, cnc, lactation kink, anal play, ABO, will only write sub reader, and more just to name a few.
THINGS I WILL NOT WRITE: Incest, pedophilia, men x reader, male!reader, amab/intersex reader, underage, dom reader, and more that I can't think of.
Taken emojis: 🐾🎨🦖🎀
Minors, blank blogs will be blocked 🚫
If I'm uncomfortable with your ask I will probably delete it.
And if you don't like what I write don't read it.
All warnings will be in the fics, I may miss some but anything that could be triggering will be stated.
WANDA MAXIMOFF
NATASHA ROMANOFF
WANDANAT
AGATHA HARKNESS
KATE BISHOP
CAROL DANVERS
#wanda maximoff#natasha romanoff#natasha smut#natasha romanoff smut#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff fluff#natasha romanoff angst#wanda maximoff fic#wanda maximoff fluff#wanda smut#wanda maximoff angst#wandanat#wandanat x reader#wandanat smut#kate bishop x reader#kate bishop fanfiction#agatha x reader#agatha harkness#kate bishop#agatha harkness x reader#carol danvers x y/n#carol danvers x you#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers#carol danvers smut#carol danvers x reader smut#reblog thingies#reading list#read later
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“You made me miserable and I still loved you.” With Carol 🥹🥹🥹 I’ll go get my tissues. Wishing you a happy angsty bday 😘
Oooooof, this was the prompt that I knew was going to wreck me so I’m just going to apologize right off the bat 😭
When you spotted her across the bar you froze. It had been months and of course she still looked amazing. You wanted to run. Your heartbeat was getting faster and you were starting to sweat. But for some reason you stayed rooted in place, a high pitched ringing in your ears when she saw you and gave you that same easy smile she used to.
“Hi baby.” It was like she didn’t even remember, or care even, what she had done to you. “God, it’s been a while, how you been?”
All you could manage was a mumble that just barely resembled the word ‘fine’. Anyone else would tell her you were fine. Nobody knew about you crying yourself to sleep every night, or about how worried your doctor had been when you lost so much weight in the two weeks after she ripped your heart out of your chest when you couldn’t manage to keep anything down. What the fuck were you supposed to say to her?
“That’s good. I’ve been thinking about you lately.” She stepped closer and rested her elbow against the bar right next to you, making every hair on your body stand on end. “We did have a good thing didn’t we?”
Before you knew it a laugh bubbled out of your chest. God, you sounded fucking hysterical, laughing like a madwoman and crying as you rested your hand against the bar to hold yourself up.
“Sure, Carol, we did have a good thing.” People were looking at you but you didn’t care. “I felt like we had a fucking great thing. I was planning a whole fucking future for us with a white picket fence and all that shit, looking at matching rings, naming our future dog. And then you,” she still had a damn smirk on her face and you wanted to slap her. “You just left. You said you found someone who made you happy without ever letting me know that I hadn’t been. You knew I was making a future for us. You knew I was devoted to you. You let me plan and plan and plan and then you just fucking left. And you know what’s so fucking stupid?” You were a damn mess at this point but you couldn’t stop yourself. “Even now, looking at you and knowing exactly how much you hurt me, I still want to you to take me back. I still want to believe that maybe this time you really did fucking change and you won’t just abandon me like every other time before. You made me miserable and I still love you. There’s still no one else for me because you have my whole heart after you tore it out of me. And I don’t even know if you ever cared about me or if you were just waiting for me to fuck up so you had an excuse to leave. Fuck you for making me still love you, Carol! And fuck me for just wanting you to hold me and tell me it’s gonna be okay!”
You didn’t know when you collapsed. Or when Carol left. Or who had put their coat around your shoulders while you wailed. All you knew was that you were alone again, like you would be for the rest of your life, and suddenly your tears just stopped. The hole in your chest was throbbing and numb as you rose to your feet to pay your tab, your face back to the blank mask you wore whenever the grief wasn’t overwhelming you. You were a dead woman because of her, but you’d never stop loving her.
⁂❆❅ 𝒥𝑜𝒾𝓃 𝑀𝓎 𝐵𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝐵𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶𝓎 ❅❆⁂
#natalie answers#nat’s blue birthday#carol danvers#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers x you#carol danvers x female reader#carol danvers x y/n#angst#female!reader#asks are always open#love my mutuals
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Guardian Angel
Chapter 10: MacGyver
Summary: Wanda and Monica hurry to Rome to save the team from San Castillo's catacombs while you anxiously wait for news about Wanda and your newfound family.
Warnings: Mentions of injury, asthma, anxiety
Word Count: 8k
A/N: The latest chapter of Guardian Angel is the longest yet. Thanks to everyone who's reading! I'm excited about where the story is headed, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Guardian Angel Masterlist
Tony slowly opened his eyes, but all he could see was darkness. The faceplate of his Iron Man helmet slid open, and he heard the dripping sound of condensation. The only indication that he was still alive.
Steve stirred next, feeling the damp air and touching the hard stone floor. He started crawling on all fours and ripped off his oxygen mask, coughing as small pebbles from the drop scraped against his skin.
“Buck, come on. There you go.” Steve tapped his friend's cheek as he started to come around. “Wow,” Barnes gasped as he looked back up at the height of the drop.
Yelena crawled towards Natasha, her face and arms stained with dirt and blood. Despite the pain in her wrist, she began moving the small pile of rubble that had buried her older sister's lower body.
“Are you okay, sestra?” Her voice was muffled under the oxygen mask, but she managed to ask.
Nat slowly sat up and let out a hiss as the pain in her right leg began to hit her. Looking down, she noticed a gash spanning the length of her lower leg, visible through her suit. Although the cut wasn't deep, it was enough to cause her discomfort.
All around them, there was an eerie silence that sent shivers down their spines. The darkness was so thick they could barely see anything beyond a few feet.
Carol quickly sprang into action, helping Peter and Kate to their feet, while Sam and Clint sputtered and coughed as they crawled out from behind a chunk of stone slab covered in a cracked fresco painting that had fallen along with them. The sound of the debris crashing against each other had been deafening, and it had taken them a few moments to get their bearings.
Thor was the last to appear, tossing rubble and rocks aside like Legos. His strength and determination were evident as he worked to clear the wreckage.
“Is everyone alright?” Steve asked the team.
A smattering of grunts and mumbles floated out of the team in response. Everyone was nursing a modicum of injuries, but somehow, all were alive.
"FRIDAY, can you give me an IR scan of the space?" Tony's voice echoed through the underground catacombs.
FRIDAY's response was unexpected. "This is not part of the previously mapped subterranean pathway, boss."
Tony's curiosity was piqued. "What do you mean? Are there any air currents?"
"This catacomb is not accessible to the general public. Therefore, no air currents were constructed at this depth," FRIDAY replied.
Steve had a sudden realization, "How much oxygen is left in the masks?"
"Undeterminable, Captain,” FRIDAY said.
Panic set in as the realization hit them - they were running out of oxygen. "Maria, can you hear me?" Nat urgently called out through her comms, hoping for a response. But all she got was static. "Is comms working for anyone?" she asked, looking around for a glimmer of hope, but no one could get through.
Not waiting for further instruction, Carol swiftly flew up the shaft. The team could hear the distant sound of energy blasts as scattered debris and water droplets fell from above. She returned shortly after, displaying an air of calm anxiety similar to Natasha's.
"We fell at least one hundred feet," Carol reported, removing her oxygen mask. "The top of the shaft narrows, and the passage is blocked by rubble from the fall."
Thor looked around in frustration, "This is ridiculous," he lamented. "I'm getting us the hell out of here," he declared as he started to spin Mjölnir.
But Bruce quickly stopped him. "No, don't you remember what Friday said before the fall?" he said, grabbing Thor's forearm. A core reactor holds the tunnel together. We have no idea what is behind the energy surges. Introducing thunder into the mix could collapse the entire catacomb."
Thor's face contorted in exasperation, "So what do we do now?" he asked, the tension rising.
*^~^*
“How far out are we?" Wanda inquired.
The low and gentle hum emanating from the Quinjet reverberated through the atmosphere as it soared through the endless expanse of the bright blue sky.
"Just a few minutes. Their trackers are still active, but I can't say how long they'll stay online," Monica replied, glancing down at the GPS display.
Wanda wasn't sure what to say. This was the first time she and Monica had been alone together since the events in Westview. Despite the hug they had shared on the loading dock, Wanda wasn't sure where they stood. However, she couldn't bear to dwell on what they might find when they arrived in Rome. She needed a distraction.
"So... how have you been since, well, since..." Wanda began.
"Since you trapped Westview, New Jersey in an idyllic suburban illusion of your grief and turned me into a photon," Monica finished for her, raising an eyebrow.
Wanda buried her face in her hands, feeling embarrassed. "In a manner of speaking, yes," she mumbled.
"I've been okay. After the Hex was dismantled, Fury sent for me. I was recruited into S.A.B.E.R. I've been shuttling back and forth between Earth and the space station for the last year," Monica explained.
Wanda nodded in understanding, her eyes reflecting a mix of emotions as she absorbed Monica's words. After a moment, she turned to face her. "Listen, I-"
"You don't need to say anything, Wanda. You already apologized, and I meant what I said that day. I understood how you felt, and given the circumstances and your powers, I would have tried to bring my mom back, too," Monica said, her voice filled with empathy.
Wanda nodded in recognition and gratitude, feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders.
"Now, I have a question for you," Monica said. "What's the deal with you and Y/N?"
"Our meeting was pure luck, and now... now I can't imagine my life without Y/N. Losing Vis was a turning point in my life. The world around me crumbled, leaving me and my boys vulnerable and exposed. But I had to be strong and protect them, even if it meant building a fortress around my heart. But Y/N, she shattered the fortress the moment our eyes met. It's weird; sometimes it feels like Vision sent Y/N to me, you know? Like she's my guardian angel."
"That's amazing, Wanda. I'm so happy for you,” Monica declared.
"Approaching target landing zone. Cloaking technology initiated," FRIDAY announced.
*^~^*
Darcy seemed to have an unmatched familiarity with the Overwatch system—she navigated through it with precision and ease, almost as if she had designed and constructed it. You couldn't help but notice how meticulously she calibrated her equipment, making every adjustment with utmost care and attention to detail.
“What kind of data were you seeing before the fall?” Darcy asked.
“Mostly thermostats,” Maria said. “A core reactor holds together the stabilization of the tunnel structure.”
At this point, they could have been speaking a foreign language. You were having difficulty washing off the shock of the last few hours. You were also worried about Wanda putting herself in danger to rescue everyone.
“Why were they all on this mission, anyway?” Darcy continued. “Jack Sparrow doesn't usually push all his Poker chips into the middle of the table for surveillance.”
Maria pulled up the mission file on the screen, "In the city of Rome, there are more than sixty catacombs composed of miles of underground tunnels in which thousands of tombs are found. Currently, only 5 of them are open to the public. For the last month, we have received some unusual readings from the Catacombs of San Callisto. It spans five floors and more than 12 miles in length,” Maria continued. “Despite our best intelligence, we were unsure about what we were walking into because it wasn't publicly accessible. Fury wanted us to be prepared for any contingency."
Darcy caught sight of your zoned-out expression. “Hey, Y/N, you okay over there?”
“Yeah, I just,” you trailed off. “I mean, I make candy for a living. The most dangerous thing I encounter in my day is Harper forgetting to turn off the stove,” you said, starting to get worked up.”
“Y/N,” Maria said, seeing your anxiety rising.
“I just watched the Avengers fall to God knows where, and my girlfriend just left to try and rescue them with her magical powers…. What the hell is my life?”
“Y/N, it’s going to be okay,” Maria repeated as she and Darcy approached you.
“How can you possibly know that? This is fucking terrifying!” You shouted. “What if we never see any of them again?”
As you were spiraling into a state of panic, Darcy's hand came down hard and made contact with your cheek, jolting you back into the present moment.
“You were spiraling,” Darcy said, patting you on the back with a smile. “All good now.”
Y/N," Maria said as she placed her hands on your shoulders and looked you in the eyes while you rubbed your cheek. "Everything will be alright. Their trackers are still sending signals, and I just received an update on everyone's vital signs. They're in distress, but they're still stable. Wanda and Monica will find them.”
After a deep breath, you said, "I'm sorry, Maria. I don't know how you guys do this every day,” wiping your hand across your face. “With Natasha down there, I don't know how you're holding it together."
“I’ve been doing this for a long time, and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that Nat doesn’t give up. If anything, this entire ordeal has pissed her off, and she’s even more of a fighter when she’s angry,” Maria said.
You glanced at your watch. "Shoot,” you sighed. It's almost 3 p.m. I have to go pick up Billy and Tommy from school. Please call me as soon as you know anything.”
*^~^*
As you arrived at the boys' school, a sense of nervousness washed over you. You had only met Billy and Tommy once before, and you weren't quite sure what to say to them. You remembered Wanda’s request not to go into detail about the reason for her unplanned departure, so you were hesitant about how to approach the conversation.
Within just a few minutes of your arrival, the sixth-grade class began to come out of the building. It didn't take long for you to spot the twins, carrying their backpacks and books, scanning their surroundings for you.
You called out, "Boys, over here!" Billy and Tommy ran towards you.
“Hi, Y/N, how come you’re picking us up today?” Tommy asked, his curiosity piqued.
“Yeah, where’s our mom?” Billy added, looking a bit confused.
“Your mom had to go on a last-minute mission with the rest of the team,” you said, trying not to go into too much detail. “So, she asked me to look after you boys until she gets back. Is that okay with you?”
Billy and Tommy looked at each other, seemingly communicating a message without words, and then turned back to you with a nod. You couldn't help but wonder if they had some secret twin language that only they knew. Either way, you were relieved they seemed alright with you taking care of them.
It felt odd stepping foot in Wanda’s home without her. It was your first time there, and the absence of her presence made the atmosphere feel eerie. However, you took a deep breath and tried to shake off the feeling, reminding yourself to focus on Billy and Tommy.
Once settled, you asked, “Okay, so what do you guys usually do first when you get home from school?”
Tommy and Billy stood in the kitchen, looking up at you with hopeful eyes. "Well," Tommy began tentatively, "Mom usually lets us play video games after school."
Billy nodded eagerly, adding, "And then we have ice cream. It's our favorite snack."
You couldn't help but smile at their enthusiasm. "I see," you said, playing along with their little routine. "And after video games and ice cream, you'll probably get started on your homework, right?"
At this, Tommy's face fell. "We don't have any homework," he admitted sheepishly.
You chuckled, leaning back against the counter. "Listen, boys," you said, adopting a more earnest tone. I know we don't know each other very well yet, and you're probably thinking this is a free-for-all. But you should know I invented the 'I don't have any homework' line," you said, placing your hand on your chest. "I was a kid once, too, you know."
“It was worth a shot,” Billy said.
Why don't you two bring your homework out here, and I’ll fix us a snack in the meantime?” You suggested.
“Okay,” they said in unison before clambering down the hall.
You shook your head at their cheekiness and set about preparing a snack. You sliced up some crisp apples, added a dollop of creamy peanut butter, and poured some refreshing lemonade.
After spending some time helping the boys with their homework, which turned out to be more challenging than you remembered, you decided to tidy up around the house. As you walked into the living room, your attention was immediately drawn to the family photo on the wall. Vision stood tall and robust, with Wanda's arm around him, while Billy and Tommy grinned from ear to ear. The image was a gentle reminder of her life before you. Rather than jealousy, you felt a deep empathy and sorrow for all the hardships and heartbreaks she had endured.
You couldn't help but wonder if Wanda was okay right now. If they were all okay.
*^~^*
As the first light of dawn crept over the horizon, a soft glow began to spread across the ancient cobblestones of the Appian Way. The air was still and quiet, and the only sound that could be heard was the distant chirping of birds. The surrounding landscape was bathed in a golden light, casting long shadows stretching across the fields and trees. Amidst this stillness, the Quinjet lay concealed in a nearby field. Wanda and Monica walked down the cobblestone path and made their way through the Arch of Dursus, their footsteps echoing in the quietness of the night. The entrance of the San Callisto catacombs suddenly materialized, rising from the ground like an ominous apparition.
The iron gate had been meticulously re-welded shut—Tony’s standard attempt at not drawing suspicion after they entered. Wanda’s hand began to swirl in red.
“I got it,” Monica said, breaking the lock with electrifying blue energy.
The two women donned oxygen masks and walked down the stone stairs into the catacombs, their communications and body cameras crackling to life.
As they descended the steps, their feet moved steadily, one after the other. The count of each step eluded them as they were fully immersed in descending. As they reached the end of the stairs, the first of the tombs revealed itself, emerging from the darkness before them.
Do you feel anything?” Monica asked, “Anyone?”
Wanda shook her head, “Not yet.”
“We’re looking at 90 acres of catacombs to search, ladies,” Maria said over the comms.
“So, you know, it may take a minute,” Darcy added.
*^~^*
Yelena frustratingly turned to Tony, "Can't you fly us out of here? I thought Iron Man could do anything?"
Tony snapped, "Oh gee, I hadn't thought of that blondie. Thank God you finally mentioned it after five hours!"
Natasha intervened, "Take it down a notch, Tony."
Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead, "Don't you think if I could have flown us out of here, I would have done it by now? The energy surges compromised the calibration of the thrusters. FRIDAY is down, too.”
Sam nodded in agreement, "Same here. It's a complete multisystem failure."
Suddenly, Kate's voice echoed off the stone, "Help!!"
Peter dropped from the wall onto the floor, webbing still hanging loosely from the rocks. "I couldn't find any other openings."
Bucky added with a hint of sarcasm, "Terrific. Well, Steve, we died once; looks like it's going to stick this time," he lamented, as he pulled a small flask from inside his leather jacket and removed his oxygen mask.
“Bucky, stop,” Steve sighed.
Clint chimed in, "Hey, give me some of that," as he took a swig out of the flask.
The archer passed the flask to Thor, who reluctantly sipped,” Your human alcohol is so weak.”
Natasha stood and hobbled over to Bruce, the cut on her leg now causing her more significant discomfort.
“Do you want me to look at your leg?” Bruce cautiously asked.
“No,” Nat said, ripping off her oxygen mask. “I want you to get your green ass off that rock and go MacGyver something with Stark to get us the fuck out of here!”
“What’s a MacGyver?” Peter asked.
“It's not a what, it's a who,” Kate responded.
“I've never heard of him,” Peter continued.
“MacGyver is amazing!" exclaimed Kate, her excitement bubbling over. "He’s a super resourceful secret agent who uses his vast scientific knowledge to escape dangerous situations. He uses everyday items like matchsticks, paper clips, and rubber bands to complete his missions.”
Nat's voice echoed through the cramped quarters as she shouted, "Knock it off!" The two young Avengers quieted down immediately, their eyes fixed on her.
Steve took a deep breath and scanned the room, his eyes settling on each of his teammates in turn. "Look," he said, getting everyone's attention. "We don't know how long Wanda and Maria will take to find us, but we must assume they're close. That means we need to stay calm and do everything we can to conserve oxygen in this tiny space and our masks. We don't know what will happen next, but we're in this together, and we're going to make it through."
*^~^*
It had been an hour since the boys had gone to bed. Now that you were finally alone with your thoughts, you couldn't hold back the tears. Your mind was consumed with worry and fear, and you had not received any updates from Maria and Darcy. The silence was deafening, and the longer it persisted, the more scared and anxious you became.
You gazed at your phone, considering calling them, but decided against it. Instead, you wiped your eyes and scrolled through your camera roll, looking at pictures of you and Wanda that reminded youof your favorite memories together.
You suddenly felt like someone was watching you. You looked up and saw Billy poking his head around the corner.
"Hey, Billy. You okay?" you asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.
"Are you?" the young boy asked in return, his voice barely above a whisper. "Your thoughts are really loud."
It took you a moment to realize what he meant, but then it hit you. Of course, like his mom, Billy could hear other people's thoughts. You wondered how often he had to deal with that and how overwhelming it must be.
"I'm sorry, Billy," you said, trying to keep your thoughts in check. "I didn't mean to be so loud."
"It's okay," he said with a shrug as he joined you on the couch. "I'm used to it.”
You sat in silence for a few moments, unsure of what to say next. Then, you remembered why you were there in the first place.
"I'm just excited for your mom to come home," you said, trying to inject some positivity into the conversation.
"Same," he said, his face lighting up a little. He scooted closer to you on the couch. It was a small gesture, but it made you feel like maybe you were doing something right.
"You and Tommy love your mom a lot, don't you?" you asked, trying to start a conversation.
"Yeah, she's amazing. She's always there for us," he explained with a smile.
"I can tell," you said, pulling a soft blanket off the back of the couch and placing it over Billy. "She talks about you and Tommy all the time. She's so proud of both of you."
"Really? What does she say?" Billy asked curiously, his eyes widening with interest.
"Well," you began, "she says you're both brilliant, funny, and sweet young men. She admires your sense of humor and your kindness towards others. Tommy is a great athlete, and you like to draw. She thinks you're a very talented artist."
"Mom told you that?" he said, surprised. "I didn't know she talked about us so much."
"Yes, she does. She loves you two very much," you replied, smiling at him warmly.
You followed Billy’s eyes as he stared at the family photograph you admired earlier. "I miss Dad," he said. "Tommy does, too."
"I know you do," you replied. “I’m sorry.”
"We were happy in Westview," Billy said, fidgeting with his hands just like Wanda. "Then, one day, we woke up, and Dad was gone and Mom said we had to go."
"That must have been difficult," you said softly.
"Yeah, at first it was tough," Billy continued, "but then we came here. Mom got Uncle Tony to build us this cool house, and we have a lot of fun.”
You couldn't help but smile as he talked about Wanda. "Your mom is the coolest person I know," you said, and Billy beamed with pride.
"You miss her too, don't you?" he asked, and you felt a pang of longing in your heart.
"You're good, kid," you said with a smirk as you ruffled his hair. "Yes, I miss your mom very much."
“She talks about you too, you know,” Billy mentioned.
Your surprise showed on your face. "Really?" you asked.
"Yeah," he said matter-of-factly. "She says you make her happy, and you make the best chocolate in the world."
You giggled at the compliment, but then you noticed the time. It was almost 2 a.m. "I think we both could use some shut-eye, Billy. We want to be well-rested when your mom gets home."
"Okay," he agreed, climbing off the couch.
But before he left, you had an idea. "Hey, what do you say you and I and Tommy make brownies tomorrow as a treat for everyone when they get home?"
Billy's eyes lit up. "That would be awesome!"
"I think so, too," you said with a smile. "Okay, now, bedtime. Off you go."
Unexpectedly, the young boy hugged you goodnight, and you felt a warmth in your heart. "Thank you, Y/N. Goodnight," he said.
"Goodnight, Billy," you said.
*^~^*
Meanwhile, half a world away, Wanda and Monica ventured through the dark and musty catacombs. The eerie silence was only broken by the echo of their footsteps. They had been walking for hours with no sign of anyone. Suddenly, Maria's voice broke through their comms, sending chills down their spine.
“Our last point of contact was down this secondary tunnel just ahead,” she said.
Wanda's eyes narrowed as she surveyed the area. "Watch your step," she warned. "If this is near where they dropped, we're on unstable ground."
As they continued, the walls around them became adorned with ancient symbols and paintings, marking Papal tombs. But their peaceful exploration was abruptly interrupted when Monica came to a sudden halt. "Stop," she said, sensing a change in the electromagnetic spectrum.
Wanda spun around to face her. "What is it?" She asked, her anxiety rising.
Before Monica could answer, the ground began to shake violently, throwing both women to the ground.
As the ceiling crumbled, debris rained down onthe two women. Acting quickly, Wanda summoned her powers to redirect the falling fragments away from them.
“Are you two okay?” Maria asked nervously.
“Yeah, we're okay,” Wanda said as she helped Monica to her feet. “What was that?”
Take a look around," Darcy pointed out. "Do you see those fissures along the walls? Someone is utilizing the catacombs as a natural storage space for geothermal energy. But there is something wrong with the core reactor. It's causing the structure to become destabilized.
Monica's voice trailed off as she tried to put her thoughts into words. "So, in other words, we're..." she hesitated, unsure.
Darcy picked up on Monica's hesitation and completed her thought. "Walking on eggshells. You need to find them, and soon.”
*^~^*
Clint, feeling a tad bit drunk from sipping from Bucky’s flask for the last few hours, began singing to himself, “Nobody knows the troubles I've seen.”
“No, we need to find some physical conductor for the thrusters! We can't use Thor or Danvers down here,” Bruce exasperated.
Clint, not paying attention to the conversation, continued his solo performance, “Nobody knows my sorrows.”
Tony suggested, “We could use Barnes’s arm,” side-eying the super soldier sitting against the wall.
Bruce momentarily thought about it and responded, “That could work. We could use the vibranium and cybernetic implant to hot wire the thrusters”.
“Nobody knows the troubles I've seen,” Clint shamelessly continued.
Bucky, who had been quietly listening, pulled down his oxygen mask so that only his eyes were visible and said, “Come try to take it; I dare you.”
“No one at all!” Clint finally finished singing. Natasha gently coaxed her best friend back into a sitting position beside her and Carol.
Nearby, Yelena, Peter, and Kate sat on the ground. Kate’s head rested in Yelena’s lap, doing her best to clean the cut on the young archer’s forehead.
"Ouch!" exclaimed Kate, her voice muffled by the oxygen mask.
Yelena had attended to Nat's leg gash and now turned to the cut on Kate's forehead. She took out a disinfectant wipe from her vest pocket and dabbed the wound gently.
“Stop moving, and it won't hurt so much, Kate Bishop,” Yelena said, trying to hold her still.
Suddenly, the sound of Peter wheezing broke the blonde's concentration away from Kate's forehead.
"Woah, are you okay, spider?" Her voice was filled with concern as the boy tore off his oxygen mask.
Peter gasped between every word and said, "I don't know, I can't,” he sputtered. “Catch my breath."
Kate sat up nervously, "Hey, what's happening? Where is your inhaler, Peter?"
Peter's voice strained, and his breaths became shorter as he said, "On the jet."
Bruce took charge of the situation, moving Peter into a sitting position against the wall. He placed an ear to his chest and frowned at the raspy, short breaths.
"Peter, look at me," Bruce said gently as he held the boy's face. "Are you certain that you don't have a rescue inhaler with you?"
He shook his head, his eyes filled with fear as each breath became more labored.
Tony quickly turned to Steve and said, "Help me out of the suit."
Steve was confused and asked, "What?"
"FRIDAY is down. I need you to get it off me, do it!" Tony's voice exclaimed anxiously.
Steve found the central seam of the Iron Man suit and tried to pull the chest plate apart, but it wouldn't budge.
"Buck, Thor, help me!" Steve shouted.
The sound of Peter's shallow breaths was drowned out by the metal bending as Bucky and Thor worked to free Tony from his suit.
"It's going to be okay, Peter. Stay with us," Sam said, as he and Carol did their best to keep him calm.
Peter's vision began to blur as his breathing was reduced to a squeak.
"Shit!" Bruce exclaimed, realizing the gravity of the situation.
Tony quickly stepped out of the broken pieces of his suit just as Peter was about to lose consciousness. He reached into his pants pocket, pulling out a rescue inhaler. He shook it several times before removing the cap as Nat lowered Peter’s head into her lap. Tony tilted the puffer slightly, angling it down his throat as he gave two puffs into his mouth.
"Slowly breathe in, kid," Tony instructed. "One, two, three, four, five."
Tony administered two more puffs of the inhaler before Bruce listened to Peter's chest and confirmed his breathing had improved.
"Thank you, Mr. Stark," Peter whispered as his lungs began to open up. "Where did you get that inhaler?"
From Aunt Mae. It was one of her conditions for you to join the team. I always have it on me," Tony explained.
"You broke your suit," Peter realized.
"It's an easy fix, kid. You're not," Tony smirked.
Peter continued to use the inhaler as Tony kissed his forehead and walked away, his hands trembling.
Kate and Yelena comforted Peter while Bruce examined him.
"You're okay, Peter," Bruce said. "Continue using the inhaler, and when you feel up to it, put your oxygen mask back on." He picked up Peter’s mask, but his eyes widened with anxiety. The gauge was empty, and the light had turned red.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked.
"The mask is out of oxygen," Bruce whispered.
"I'll give you mine," Carol offered, taking off her mask and giving it to Peter.
"Thanks, Carol," Peter said as he continued to use the inhaler.
Steve pulled Bruce to one side. “Be honest with me, Bruce. How much time do we have left?”
"It's hard to say. With Peter's preexisting medical condition, he may have been using more oxygen than the rest of us. I'll check the other masks, but with so many people in this small space—”
“Bruce,” Steve said solemnly.
“An hour. Maybe,” Banner conceded.
*^~^*
Instantly, an avalanche of disordered thoughts rushed into Wanda's mind, emanating from Peter. The intensity of his anxiety was so profound that Wanda had to cling to the wall of the tunnel to steady herself. Overwhelmed with relief and anguish, she burst into tears. It was as if Peter's distress was contagious, and his emotions threatened to engulf Wanda's consciousness. His mind was a chaotic maze of thoughts, all leading to the same inescapable conclusion: they were all going to die.
Monica's voice interrupted her thoughts, "Wanda, what is it?"
Wanda had to grab the side of the wall for support. "Peter. I can feel him; he's close."
It was as if Peter’s thoughts broke the dam, and one by one, the desperation and fear of her teammates came through. But soon, it was replaced with something else entirely: acceptance. They seemed resigned to their fate, and Wanda couldn't help but feel a sense of dread.
“This way,” Wanda said as the two women doubled back.
A dark tunnel forced the two women to duck as they crawled through it. As they forced their way through the ancient passage, they were relieved when it opened into a larger space—rubble scattered everywhere and the feeling of uneven ground underneath their feet.
Maria's voice echoed through the comms, "What do see?"
Monica took a deep breath and replied, "It's much cooler in here." The air around them was refreshing, starkly contrasting the humid air in the rest of the catacomb.
Wanda knelt and placed her hand on the ground, feeling the dampness seeping through her fingers. "The ground is damp, too," she added.
Darcy's ears perked up at their report, and her eyes widened. “This is it! If the water sinks into the ground, it's coming out somewhere.”
Monica took notice of the uneven gravel. “Don’t move,” she said as she phased through the ground, leaving Wanda alone with the team’s thoughts in her head.
*^~^*
Bruce, true to his word, carefully examined all the oxygen in the ten remaining masks. Unfortunately, five more had depleted, leaving the group with only five masks to share. They sat in a circle and passed the masks around, agreeing on five-minute turns, but the adults made sure Yelena, Kate, and Peter had the masks on for a bit longer without saying anything.
As they breathed heavily and coughed occasionally, it became apparent that the air was running out. Suddenly, a low rumbling sound made everyone scramble to the walls. Yelena instinctively reached out for Natasha, who was struggling to stand on what was now most likely an infected cut in her leg.
"Cover your head!" Steve shouted, not sure if it was another energy surge or if the catacombs were finally caving in.
Suddenly, Monica dropped through the stone ceiling and landed on Carol, causing her to grunt in pain. Monica quickly stood up, dusting herself off and helping Carol to her feet.
Kate screamed in relief, "Oh my God, it's Monica!!" and hugged her. Yelena tried to pry Kate off Monica while everyone else watched in surprise.
"You found us," Carol said, hugging her next.
"Actually, Wanda found you,” Monica said as she held Carol. “She heard Peter's thoughts," turning to the young Avenger.
"Thank you for having asthma, you wonderful little arachnid!" Clint said, kissing Peter on the cheek.
"Umm, you're welcome," Peter replied.
"Wanda is here?" Steve asked.
"I knew she could do it," Natasha said under her breath, recalling the day Wanda returned to the compound.
"Wanda," Monica said, pressing her comms closer to her ear. "You were right, they're down here."
"Are they alright?" Wanda asked, her voice a mix of anxiety and relief.
"More or less," Monica responded, looking around at the sweaty, exhausted, and dirt-covered group. "When I give the word, you do your thing."
"Got it," Wanda replied.
"Everyone move away from the center," she instructed.
After ensuring that everyone was safe, she issued the command, "Alright, Wanda. Now.”
The redhead stood still, taking a deep breath to calm herself. Her hands and eyes began to emit a bright red glow, almost like they were on fire. As she closed her eyes, your words echoed in her mind.
“The magic that courses through you is the true measure of who you are, Wanda. Don't let a single mistake define you or your legacy."
She focused her energy and channeled her magic to lift the endless amount of heavy rubble that blocked the narrow shaft. As she lifted the debris, the sound of rocks and debris tumbling down from above echoed through the small space. The team looked up as they saw a faint ray of light piercing through the small opening over a hundred feet above them.
Wanda's heart pounded as she floated down, eager to reunite with her family. As soon as her feet touched the ground, Natasha enveloped her in a warm embrace. "No arm tied behind your back anymore," she whispered, her words full of relief.
Tears filled Wanda's eyes as she nodded, overwhelmed with emotion. Then, Tony stepped forward and hugged her tightly. "I can't even tell you how happy I am to see you, Red," he said, his voice filled with genuine joy.
"Same here, Tony," Wanda replied, a smile spreading across her face.
But their reunion was cut short by Maria's voice crackling over the comms. "You can all exchange pleasantries on the way home; time to rejoin the above-ground dwellers," she said briskly.
Wanda quickly wiped away her tears and, with a wave of her hand, conjured a ladder leading out of the shaft.
After Wanda and Monica checked the stability of the ladder, Bucky, Clint, Sam, Thor, and Carol led the way up. Monica offered her assistance to anyone who needed it.
"Does anyone need a lift?" Monica asked, glancing around at the group.
Tony immediately pointed to Peter, who quickly protested, "What? No, not necessary, Mr. Stark. I'm fine."
However, Tony was quick to dismiss Peter's objections. "Nice try, kid. Your asthma almost killed you. Let the Photon carry you. That's an order," he said, picking up the broken chest plate of his suit and ascending the ladder.
Peter reluctantly acquiesced. "Fine," he grumbled, "but no one tells MJ.”
Monica picked Peter up bridal-style and flew up the shaft, ensuring that he made it to the top safely.
Natasha leaned on Yelena and Kate for support as she hobbled toward the ladder.
"May I offer you a lift?" Wanda asked with a smirk, knowing that Nat would be hesitant to accept help from anyone.
"Do I look like Peter?" Nat replied sarcastically, trying to shrug off the offer.
Wanda's smirk turned into a concerned expression as she noticed the pain she was in. "No, but your leg looks pretty bad, and I have someone on the line who wants to speak with you," she explained, handing Nat her comms earpiece.
Nat begrudgingly grabbed it, knowing precisely who would be on the other end. She put it on and said, "Hi, Maria.”
Maria's voice echoed through the earpiece. "Natalia Alianovna Romanoff! I can see your leg on their body cameras. Let Wanda help you, or I swear to God, you are sleeping on the couch until it heals," she shouted in a stern tone.
Natasha let out a frustrated sigh, knowing that Maria was right. She reluctantly handed her earpiece back to Wanda and nodded in agreement.
"Have a nice conversation, did you?" Wanda teased, noticing the annoyed expression on Natasha's face.
"Shut up, and get me out of here," the Black Widow grumbled.
"Good choice," the redhead said with a smile as she used her magic to lift Natasha out of the shaft. She then turned her attention to Yelena and Kate and gestured for them to follow. "After you."
The last one to leave, Steve smiled broadly at Wanda, his dirt and blood-covered face unable to conceal his immense pride in her.
“Are you going to give me some big hero speech, Cap?” Wanda asked, half-joking.
"Maybe later," Steve replied with a sigh. "But for now, all I want to do is this." He wrapped his arms around Wanda, pulling her close. "Welcome back, Wanda," he said, his voice filled with warmth.
Night had descended upon Rome by the time the team finally boarded the Quinjet. Monica took control of the jet and put it on autopilot, allowing her and Wanda to attend to everyone's injuries. The mood was somber as they tended to the team.
"No more underground missions!" Sam declared loudly, wincing in pain as Wanda wrapped his shoulder. "I mean it. If we need to go underground, Fury can send in the incredible shrinking Scott or use Red Wing. I was chasing ghosts down there, and we still don't know what the hell was going on."
Monica tried to reassure him. "You were probably just hallucinating from a lack of oxygen," she said.
Ha! Probably!" Sam responded, his tone skeptical. "See, that's not exactly comforting. Steve, I need you to make sure this is included in the mission report. We can't afford to overlook any potential threats."
Looking around at the team, Steve agreed with Sam. "I think we could all use some rest first though," he suggested. "We can reconvene in the morning and go over everything in more detail.”
*^~^*
The next morning, you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing on the coffee table. You had decided to sleep on the couch after Billy went back to bed, in case either of the boys woke up again. As you picked up the phone and saw Maria's name on the screen, your heart skipped a beat.
Anxious and nervous, you answered the call, "Maria? Have you heard anything?”
Maria's response brought tears to your eyes, "They're all safe. A bit bruised and battered, but alive. ETA is about 2 hours."
Relieved and grateful, you could feel a weight lifted off your chest. "Oh, thank God… and Wanda?"
"She was amazing, Y/N. You would’ve been so proud," Maria's voice was filled with admiration.
You couldn't help the tears that fell down your cheeks. You asked, "So, what happens now?" while looking around the corner to make sure Billy and Tommy were still asleep.
"Well, they'll have a short debrief when they get back and presumably a visit to the med bay. But I know Wanda will want to see you and the boys ASAP," Maria explained.
You nodded, even though she couldn't see you, "Okay," you said while running your hand through your hair and looking at the clock. "We'll be there."
"Good, see you in a bit, Y/N," Maria said.
"Bye, Maria," you replied before hanging up the phone.
As you were putting the couch back together, Billy and Tommy, still in their pajamas, walked into the kitchen. You greeted them with a warm smile and said, "Good morning, boys! I have some good news for you - your mom is on her way home."
Tommy's face lit up with delight as he exclaimed, "Yes!"
Billy looked at you with curiosity and asked, "When will she be here?"
You checked your watch and replied, "In a couple of hours. I was thinking we could all meet her at the compound. What do you think?"
Both boys nodded eagerly, thrilled at the prospect of seeing their mother again.
Then, you added, "Cool! So, I was thinking, would you like to help me make some brownies to bring as a welcome-home treat for everyone? It's a very special recipe from The Candy Bar."
You raised an eyebrow, waiting for their response. The boys looked at each other, then back at you, with wide grins on their faces. "Yes, please!" they exclaimed in unison.
As you stepped into the kitchen, you were struck by the state-of-the-art sound system that Tony had built into the house. You paired your phone with it and turned on your “Baking playlist” to set the mood for your baking session. Billy and Tommy sat at the kitchen island, eagerly awaiting their tasks. You laid out all the ingredients for your fudgy chocolate brownies on the sleek granite countertop, admiring how they gleamed under the overhead lights.
“Okay,” you said, clapping your hands together. “Tommy, you mix the dry ingredients, and Billy, you mix the wet ingredients.”
You couldn't help but grin as the boys rolled up their sleeves and got to work, their eyes fixed on the recipe book as they measured each ingredient with utmost care.
While the brownies were baking to perfection, you whipped up a decadent chocolate frosting that would add an extra layer of sweetness to the treat. The smooth, velvety texture of the frosting was the perfect complement to the chewy, chocolatey goodness of the brownies.
Once you finished frosting the brownies and placing them in the refrigerator, you checked the clock and said, "Okay, why don't you guys get showered and dressed? You want to look your best for your mom."
In perfect unison, they responded, "Okay." That's when Tommy suddenly zipped away and returned in a split second, ready to go.
"Whoa! That was fast," you said, impressed.
"I know, right? I have super speed, just like our Uncle Pietro!" Tommy proudly announced.
"Ah, your mom has told me a bit about him," you replied, nodding in understanding.
"Well, that's why I'm so awesome at sports!" Tommy exclaimed with a huge grin.
"Actually, that's not true," Billy interjected. "Mom doesn't want him to use his powers while playing."
"Ugh, don't listen to him. Sometimes I use them when she isn't looking," Tommy said, a mischievous look creeping across his face.
"What?! I'm going to tell Mom!" Billy shouted, looking outraged.
"You will not!" Tommy said, pushing his brother playfully.
"Hey, hey, hey!" You stepped between them, breaking up their squabble. "Billy, you can go get ready, and Tommy, how about you help me pack the brownies?"
"Fine," Billy grumbled.
"Okay," Tommy said with a nod.
*^~^*
As you entered the compound, you were informed that the team had already finished their debriefing and were receiving post-mission examinations and oxygen treatments in the med bay, as per Fury's orders. You and the boys patiently waited outside the medical facility, observing as doctors and nurses went in and out.
After what felt like an eternity, you finally caught a glimpse of Wanda. The sight of her filled you with joy, and you couldn't help but smile. Wanda was scanning the room before her eyes landed on you and the boys. The twins' excitement was palpable as they ran towards Wanda with unbridled enthusiasm.
Wanda hugged Billy and Tommy tightly, kissing the tops of their heads. You hung back, holding the Tupperware full of brownies, not wanting to impose on their family reunion.
“I missed you boys so much!” Wanda said, kneeling to hug them.
“We missed you too,” Tommy replied.
“Yeah,” Billy agreed, “but we had a great time with Y/N. She's so much fun, and we made brownies for everyone, see?” pointing back at you.
Wanda glanced back at you, and her eyes lit up with joy upon seeing you standing there. “Hello, my love. I missed you too," she said, pulling you into a warm embrace, and giving you a soft kiss on the lips, which made you blush.
“You brought everyone home,” you said, repeating the words you spoke to her before she left. “I knew you could do it,” you said, as you both tried to hold back tears in the middle of the med bay.
Lost in the moment, Tony's voice brought you back to reality. "Aww! Look at the lovebirds," he exclaimed. You saw Stark walking towards you, holding Pepper’s and Morgan’s hands. He looked a bit worse for wear than the last time you saw him, with a limp, butterfly stitches above his eyebrow, and a cut on his cheek.
You hugged all three of them. "Mmmm, what do we have here?" Tony asked. "Very nice! I don't remember you making brownies for me when I came home from a mission,” turning to his wife.
Pepper shot back, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a little busy running your entire company. If you want brownies, make them yourself."
Natasha appeared next, being pushed in a wheelchair by Maria, followed by Yelena and Kate. Natasha's lower right leg was heavily bandaged, "Oh, Nat, are you okay?" you asked.
"I'm fine," she said, reassuringly smiling as you leaned down to embrace her. "This is all just precautionary."
Maria chimed in, "Right, that’s why Dr. Cho also gave us precautionary antibiotics," doing air quotes, and you couldn't help but laugh at her comment.
"My sister has always been stubborn," Yelena said as she and Kate joined the group. The blonde adjusted the brace on her wrist before hugging you and grabbing two brownies.
"Yeah, you should have seen her down there," Kate added. "It was like the Black Widow on steroids," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around you.
"What was that, Bishop?" Nat asked, giving Kate a suspicious look.
"Nothing," Kate responded nervously. "Would you like a brownie?"
"Mmhm, that's what I thought you said," Nat smirked as she took the brownie.
*^~^*
You joined the team for dinner but retired early to your room, wanting to give the group some space to decompress after a traumatic mission. While resting on your bed, a knock on your door caught your attention, and Wanda poked her head inside.
“Sorry, sweetheart. Were you sleeping?” she asked.
“No, just resting my eyes,” you replied as you sat up with a yawn.
Wanda joined you on the bed, giggling. “Yeah, that's how I usually feel at the end of the day with the boys, too.”
You wrapped your arms around her and kissed her cheek. “The boys were great. It was nice to spend more time with them.”
“They feel the same way, love. To quote them, Y/N is super cool,” Wanda smirked.
“Super cool. I should put that on my business card,” you joked.
“Seriously, Y/N. Thank you. I know two 11-year-old boys are a handful, and I put you in a challenging position, but it means so much to me that I can trust you.”
As soon as the word "trust" was uttered, memories of your parents' dubious actions over the remains of Sokovia and your conversation with Tony flooded your mind. The weight of the past seemed to take its toll on you, and your anxiety was on full display, which the redhead must have picked up on.
Wanda glanced at you with concern etched on her face. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" she asked, her voice laced with tenderness and care.
You tried your best to put on a reassuring smile and push the nagging thoughts out of your mind. "I am now that you're home," you replied softly.
Taglist: @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @bibliophilicbi @darkstar225
#guardian angel#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maxmoff x y/n#natasha romanoff#maria hill#darcy lewis#billy maximoff#tommy maximoff#tony stark#steve rogers#thor odinson#clint barton#kate bishop#yelena boleva#carol danvers#sam wilson#bucky barnes#monica rambeau#bruce banner#mcu#the avengers#fluff#angst with a happy ending
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Could you do: beefy!gp!Carol who gets jealous after seeing you flirt with one of the avengers?
UNFAIR
PAIRINGS: Carol Danvers x reader
WORD COUNT: 1,019
WARNINGS: smut, Carol has a dick, angst, break up sex, fluff, secret love, jealousy, captain!C, praise, smut, cumming on body, jerking off, no protection, pregnancy, think that’s all :)
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!
“That’s not fair, Y/N.” Carol proclaimed, and you had to bite your lip to prevent further disagreeance.
“You can’t just walk around and- and act like you’re all up for grabs, that’s not fair.” You clasped your hands together at her dejected face, and she plopped on the bed with a sigh.
“Carol, we’re not together anymore, I- I can talk to who I want without consequences.” She shook her head and placed it in her hands, her fingers digging at her scalp as red nearly exploded across her face. She was angry, you both knew that, but it wasn’t just anger and frustration that coursed through her veins; it was sadness, betrayal. She had no reason to feel this way, like you said, you weren’t even hers anymore. But she still felt a lingering pain deep in her chest, it felt worse than any bruise you’d tend to.
“But I still love you-“
“But you can’t, Carol. You can’t keep doing this to yourself, you deserve to move on and be happy.” There was a silence filling the room, and for a moment you thought she might’ve wanted you to leave. Which you began doing before you heard a mumbled whisper. You turned, asking for the repetition you needed.
“But I want to be happy with you. I am happy with you, why won’t you just accept that? Why won’t you accept me?” You gulped, your voice seeming to hide with it as you shook from a sigh.
“We weren’t good for each other.” She stood suddenly, and your hand was taken in hers for a soft peck.
“But you were good for me. You made me feel things I never felt before, and I want to be with you again. Please, I- I promise I’ll change! Whatever you need, I’ll do it all. I’ll do anything for you, dove.” Her pleading eyes had always been impossible to ignore, and the same continued even now. You couldn’t resist her, she was the love of your life, after all.
“Just one last time, okay? We’ll have sex, and in the morning I’ll be gone, deal?” She wanted you to stay, but she knew this was the best chance she’d have at seeing you again. If she said no, who knows if you’d ever come back.
“I’ll make it worth your while then, Y/N.”
“Fuck, I’m- I’m so close, baby.” The woman mumbled, and you had to stifle a moan that still found its way out of you.
“I know, Carol, I know, sweetheart.” Your fingers dug threw her hair, your nails scratching her scalp softly in a soothing manner. Her eyes fluttered shut as her free hand fell to your hardened nipple, the other landing on your cheek as she used her thumb to stroke the soft skin.
“Can I…can I kiss you?” Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. But you nodded, and she instantly drew you in for a passionate, loving kiss. She noticed the goosebumps along your skin, and she drew back for only a moment, her lips lingering against yours as you begged internally for more.
“I know you’re cold, just hold onto me.” Your arms went around her back, your legs wrapping around her ass as tears threatened to escape you. You sighed in relief when her mouth met yours again, and her body heated up to the perfect temperature to keep you warm.
“Please, captain, I want you to cum in me.” She shook, and her thrusts were coming to a halt. But she kept up, determined to force your quickening arrival first. And the moment you hit your peak and eventually regained your breath, she immediately drew out, stroking her cock until reaching her peak. Her coil snapped, and her release painted your body. You looked up at her, confused as to why she dismissed your request.
“I don’t want you to make a decision you’ll regret. If you’re serious about..about leaving me, then I’m not going to get you pregnant and force you to handle something you can’t.” She seemed hurt at the thought, you always knew she wanted a kid, a family. She wanted that family with you, however, and you caught yourself daydreaming about the same possibility she offered you.
“You didn’t leave.” She noted, and you turned to face her with a grin, the towel covering your wet body. The shower had streaks of steam running down it, and she could tell by your looks that you had just finished taking one.
“No, I didn’t.” She sat up instantly, and you bit your lip at her exposed chest through the see-through tank top. Her nipples were hard under the cold aroma, and all you could imagine was wrapping your lips around them and hearing her groans of pleasure.
“Are you going to?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“…I know a good diner if you’re willing to stay long enough for breakfast.”
“Sure, I’d like that.” You never would’ve expected close to a year later that you would continue to lie next to her, your hands interlacing as her free one was set on her book. Her reading glasses were on the brink of her nose, and you looked out the window to admire the scenery.
“I still can’t believe you took me to space.” She chuckled, placing a kiss on the back of your palm as she followed your gaze.
“It’s pretty great isn’t it?” You hummed, receiving a wrap of arms around your body. Her book was now in front of you, and she read it quietly in your ear. You cuddled into her chest, poking her strong biceps that she teasingly flexed.
“Thank you for not giving up on me, Carol.” She paused, taking a moment to leave soft pecks on your neck.
“I could never give up on you; on us.” She rubbed her thumb over your swollen stomach, smiling softly as she spoke a greeting to the arriving young girl.
“The moment we land on Earth, nothing can stop me from meeting my little one.”
“As long as I have you two, I’ll be okay.”
#carol danvers x female reader#carol danvers x y/n#carol danvers x reader smut#carol danvers x you#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers smut#carol danvers#carol Danvers x reader fluff#captain marvel fluff#captain marvel x reader smut#captain marvel x you#captain marvel angst#captain marvel x reader#captain marvel smut#captain marvel#captain marvel x female reader
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