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#check me never knowing how to coherently end a thought ever in my life
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Imagine Astarion with ears so sensitive that he's never willingly allowed anyone to touch them except for you. Imagine laying next to him in your bed, facing him, lifting your hand up slowly for that first touch. His eyes on yours, the rapidity of the breath he doesn't need to take, but still does reflexively. Seeing that he's nervous, but that he's trusting you, feeling his shaking hand come to rest on your waist. The audible sound he makes- half a moan, half a gasp- when you finally brush your thumb over the soft skin at the tip of his ear.
You trace the long shell of his ear and watch his pretty eyes, deep red like velvet in the moonlight, flutter shut. He says your name softly, as close as you've ever heard him to prayer. You pinch his earlobe gently, and his hips roll forward involuntarily, the jut of his hipbone pressing against your thigh as he makes himself still. Heat flares low in your belly, but you tamp it down as quickly as possible- likewise, Astarion makes himself still against you. This isn't sex and won't become sex, you'd promised each other (though that's not to say that you won't explore this thoroughly during one of your hours-long lovemaking sessions. He is all about experimentation these days, after all).
You lay there, touching him in his most vulnerable place, with reverence and grace and occasionally disbelief that you could be here at all with this beautiful, horrible, ridiculous and wonderful man, that you could be trusted so completely. You take in his every shuddering breath, the flexing of his fingers in your shirt, the softness of his mouth when he presses his lips to yours and tells you he loves you. If you have your way, if he has his, if somehow your utterly insane lives hold together for a year or a decade or ten, it will always be like this.
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hearts4hughes · 1 year
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wanna be yours - jack hughes
jack hughes x fem! reader
warnings: swearing, not proofread
notes: small little imagine for lovie bun! let’s pray the devils pull through tonight and work some magic!!!!
gif is not mine
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falling in love with his best friend might’ve not been the smartest thing he ever did, but jack didn’t care.
ever since your family moved next door to the hughes’, you and jack have been attached by the hip. you did everything together. and i mean everything.
no matter what path life led you or jack to, you were always there for each other. it was a hard adjustment when jack went off to become a superstar for the new jersey devils. there were countless times where he’d lay down in his bed at night wondering if he was doing the right thing. if this was his purpose in life, or if he was supposed to be home with you. of course he thought he could never admit that to you because you’d only reassure him that it was his purpose to show off his talents in the nhl, and to not let you stop him from living his dream. little did you know, you were his dream.
jack couldn’t stop himself from falling in love with you. even at a young age he thought of you way more often than he should’ve. you were perfect for him, and everyone could see that- including him.
things took a quick turn for the better when jack was able to snag you a job as the sports media manager for the devils. you and jack were more than thrilled that you’d have a job for the team. not to mention how you’d be with jack basically everyday, just like it once was.
it might’ve just been your insecurities or stubbornness, but you’d never believe anyone when they told you jack was head over heels for you. it was just something that didn’t seem real- or so you thought.
i wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
i wanna be your fort cortina
i will never rust
“do you think he’ll like this?” you question, flipping your hair to the side to showcase the tight, blue, minidress that hugs your curves, so perfectly.
jack’s eyes raked up and down your body, stopping momentarily on your slight cleavage. he could barely form a coherent thought because of how stunning you looked. “yeah, he’s going to love it.” his eyes stay wide as he continues to check out the outfit you wore, not for him, but for another man.
“ok.” you blush as you watch his eyes go up and down your body. you grin widely, turning around and beginning to finish your hair.
he watches you turn around and begin to get ready once again, but instead of saying anything, he stays silent leaning against the headboard of your bed.
let me be your ‘leccy meter
and i’ll never run out
let me be the portable heater
that you’ll get cold without
he’s give anything to take your dates place tonight. he knew he’d treat you better than any other man would. he knew you better than anyone else. however, he continued to endure the heartbreak of watching you get ready for dates with various men that don’t deserve you. jack’s thoughts were jealousy ridden, and he knew it. he needed to put an end to this.
secrets i have held in my heart
are harder to hide than i thought
maybe i just wanna be yours
“y/n,” he blurts out, not knowing what he’s about to confess.
putting your brush down, you reply. “mhm.”
“don’t go out on that date tonight.”
those seven words are enough to make you stop what you’re doing and face jack. “what?”
he rubs his neck nervously, thinking he should’ve planned this out. “don’t go out tonight, please.” his voice slightly cracks.
“jack, what are you saying?” standing up, you huff out a sarcastic laugh. what does he mean don’t go?
moving to the foot of your bed, he thinks of a plan on how to not sound like a complete asshole. “just please don’t, y/n/n.”
“jack, you can’t just say that.” you cock your head forward in annoyance. “why don’t you want me to go? just tell me.”
silence fills the room. just tell her you love her, dumbass!! keeps circling through jack’s head.
“whatever.” you scoff, rolling your eyes and grabbing your purse.
“i-” his voice is desperate. “i love you.”
your mouth falls agape as your eyes widen in shock. jack has almost the same reaction when he realizes what he just did.
“shit, wait.” he runs his hands through his hair in frustration and regret. “i didn’t- i wasn’t-” he stutters out the incoherent sentence, until he finally hangs his head down in shame. tears begin to well in his eyes when you continue to stay silent.
“jacky,” you coo. the use of his nickname causes a few tears to slip from his eyes. “please don’t cry.”
“i’m not crying.” he defends, blinking away the tears, and using his sweater paw to wipe them away.
the sound of your heels clicking fills the almost dead silent room as you make your way over to jack. when you reach him, you sit next to him, cupping his face while examining his features. his eyes are bloodshot from the sudden tears and his face is flushed. he moves away from your hold to let his head hang down once again.
“baby, i love you too.” you confess, scooting even closer to him.
“don’t say that just because you feel bad for me.” his eyes stay glued at his feet. jack felt weak as paper, waiting to be thrown away.
you let out a slight giggle at his words, even though you shouldn’t of. he slowly turns his head to glance at you. your lips fall into a frown when you realize he thinks you’re laughing at him.
“i know i’m pathetic, but you don’t need to laugh.” he mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper. you feel your heart crack. you never once thought he was pathetic.
“you are not pathetic, jack.” you say softly. “and i wasn’t laughing at you, i was laughing at what you said about me only saying ‘i love you’ out of pity.”
he continues to look at you unconvinced. “what’s so funny about that?” he questions. the tone of his voice causes your heart to shatter completely. he was anything but confident right now, and it killed him.
“has it really not been obvious that i’m in love with you?” you joke, a small smile tugs at your lips. “i turned down so many job requests at home, just to get this job here with you. you weren’t the only reason i took the job, it is a great opportunity for me, but you were the main reason i took it.”
“that kinda flew right over my head.” he lets out a small chuckle. the pieces of your broken heart start to slowly form back together when you hear him laugh.
“i can tell. good thing you’re only a hockey player.” the friendly dig makes jack gasp dramatically.
“what’s that supposed to mean?!” he jokes, pulling a loud laugh out of the both of you.
as the laughter begins to die down, jack checks his apple watch. “oh shit, you’re going to miss your date.”
you stare at him dumbfounded. does he really think you are still going out with another person after what just happened? “i am not going on that date, jacky. i am staying right here with you.” he relaxes into your touch as you rest your head on his shoulder.
you both sit in comfortable silence, wondering what’s going to happen after this.
“y/n,” he breaks the silence.
“yes?”
“you promise you like me?” he asks even though the question sounds dumb.
“of course.” you reassure.
“more than friends?”
“more than friends.”
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beewolfwrites · 1 year
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for part 2 of the Japanese speaking one, can u do one where reader and chishiya fall for each other and the reader wants to confess to him in Japanese but doesn’t know how and he helps her? ty :)
Language Barrier - Part 2
Since this is a second part for the original prompt, I've kept it also in the AWIAF fic world, but more towards the end.
Hope you enjoy!
(Chishiya x oc/reader)
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‘You’ve improved.’ 
Chishiya emerged from the hallway and sat down in the armchair opposite mine. Even in candlelight, the furniture store was cosy and quiet, the perfect place for curling up and studying in a comfy reading chair. With the games suspended after the Ten of Hearts, life in the Borderlands had slowed. On one hand, we were waiting for something to happen at any moment, yet the more days that drifted by, the more we were lulled into a sense of security. Kuina had ventured out earlier to find supplies, leaving Chishiya and I alone in the store. 
He had spent most of the evening upstairs, tinkering with a can of orange soda and wires, whilst I focused all my attention on reading out sentences and committing new words to memory. Ever since my first game - Rummy - where I had barely understood the rules being read out, I had been chipping away at the Japanese language, making a note of and practicing phrases I had heard Kuina and Chishiya use. Although I was still laughably bad at it, I was actually quite proud of how far I’d come. 
‘ありがとう.’ Thank you, Chishiya.
‘Your pronunciation is clearer too,’ he commented. ‘You’ve stopped blending the words together. I can actually understand what you’re saying.’ 
I thought for a minute about how I wanted to respond, double checking a certain word in my pocket dictionary. ‘あの缶に何してるの?’ What are you doing with that soda can? 
Earlier, I’d briefly seen him connecting it up to a string of wires, but he had worked quietly and avoided divulging any information. I hadn’t wanted to pester him at the time, but I was genuinely curious about his latest project. 
‘爆弾を作っている,’ he replied simply. I’m creating a bomb.
‘Wait, really?’ 
That was definitely not what I thought he was going to say. At all. How did he expect me to react to this? Chishiya didn’t exactly look like a terrorist in the making, nor an angry schoolboy locked up in his bedroom surfing the internet. Seeing Chishiya’s raised brow and lack of response, I quickly realised I had slipped up. 
‘本当か’ I corrected myself. ‘どうやって学びましたか’ Really? How did you learn to do that?
‘学んだ,’ he said, simply. ‘学びました is too formal. You’ve never spoken formally with me anyway.’ 
He explained his answer in quick, fluid Japanese, and although I understood some of the words he’d used, he was running through each sentence far too fast. The words only stood out individually like stars, and I couldn’t quite harpoon them together to form anything coherent. And given the mischief dancing in his expression, he knew exactly what he was doing. 
‘I give up,’ I admitted. ‘You’re speaking too fast. And I don’t know half of those words.’ 
He didn’t admonish me, like I’d expected, but instead simply translated his answer. ‘I taught myself over time, the same way I made that taser. Once you have a grasp of circuits and wiring, you’re already halfway there.’ 
This would also explain how Chishiya knew how to screw with the wiring in Niragi’s bedside lamps. Either he payed a bizarre amount of attention at school, which I couldn’t see him doing, or he had too much spare time on his hands. 
I frowned, flicking through my notes. ‘And you genuinely thought I’d be able to understand all that wire talk?’ 
‘You never know. It could come in useful in a game.’ 
I couldn’t argue with that. But in actuality, I did need his help with a certain phrase. There was something I wasn’t quite sure about - it was said differently depending on formality, but as I was still dipping my feet into Japanese culture, I wasn’t quite confident about the difference between each variant and when they should be used. 
‘Hey, Chishiya? There’s something I’m not sure how to say.’ I flipped my notes around so that he could read them better, though he simply stared at them with apathy.
‘What is it?’ 
‘Well… I’m really grateful to Kuina, for being my friend throughout all this craziness,’ I explained carefully. ‘I wanted to tell her that I love her, because I really do. But I didn’t want to use the wrong “I love you”. I know there’s 好き, and there’s 大好き. But this dictionary translates it as 愛している. If Kuina’s my friend, which one do I use?’ 
Chishiya closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the armchair. ‘Kuina already knows you’re her friend. There’s no need to say it.’ 
‘But what if I want to?’ 
‘Then you’d just use 好き or 大好き at the most,’ he said. Half asleep like this, it was uncanny how much he resembled a cat, or even a fox. ‘But you’re not really asking for Kuina’s sake.’ 
My heart shuddered. 
He knows?
I swallowed, nervous that I had been caught out so easily. ‘And if I’m not actually asking for Kuina, which one would I use instead?’ 
His mouth tilted upwards. That sly, sly man. ‘It depends on how you feel. 愛している is only used in movies.’ 
‘And you wouldn’t use 好き or 大好き?’ 
‘Maybe,’ he said. ‘If you’re a schoolgirl.’ 
‘And people definitely don’t use 愛している in real life?’ 
‘Nobody really says these things,’ he replied curtly. ‘It’s too embarrassing for most Japanese people.’
Except I’m not Japanese.
I didn’t reply, muling over each of the three possibilities. One was too mushy and gushy to use in real life. The other two were apparently too simplistic. From what I knew of Japanese society so far, people didn’t usually say these things out loud. Love and affection was something to be expressed in small actions and gestures. 
One eye cracked open. ‘Well?’ 
‘Well what?’ 
‘After all that, aren’t you going to say anything?’ 
Now it was my turn to smirk. ’Only when you’re not expecting it.’ 
Faintly entertained, he sat up straighter, pulling himself out of his catnap. His small break over, he retreated back upstairs and returned to tinkering with the can. The evening drifted on, and I did try to stay awake in case Kuina returned with goodies. But as the darkness crept in and the candles played magic tricks with shadows on the walls, I sank down into a different darkness altogether, dreaming of sand and chlorine, playing cards and bullets. 
In my dream state, I hadn’t realised I was shivering until the softness of a blanket was wrapped around me. A pair of hands gently removed my notebook, pen and dictionary. Barely awake, I slid my eyes open a fraction, registering the silhouette walking away from where I was curled up in the armchair. 
‘Chishiya,’ I murmured. ‘もう愛している.’ 
I love you too. 
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buddhamethods · 5 months
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10 BL Characters I Want Carnally
AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.
Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).
1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)
The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.
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2) Yok from Not Me (2021)
Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.
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3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)
The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!
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4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)
Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.
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5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)
Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.
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6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)
(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.
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7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)
He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.
(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)
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8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)
To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!
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9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)
*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE
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10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)
My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.
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(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)
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euphorix-moon · 9 months
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Full Disclosure
Ellie x Reader
Wc: 1.2k
Synopsis: After the events of Tlou2 your friend Ellie has been on a downward spiral, pushing you away and locking everything she's been feeling up . After a small argument she cracks and finally starts letting it all out
A/N: i've been in an angsty mood idk why, most of it is angsty or awkward but it ends on a happy end
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You knew your friend Ellie was going through a really rough patch in her life. Ever since Joel died she's been on a downward spiral to say the least. It's only gotten worse since Ellie came back from California; she's been walking around with more guilt and sorrow than ever. You don't see Ellie as often as you once did, but whenever she would appear walking around Jackson, she was always walking absentmindedly with her head hung low.
Since Ellie had come back, you tried a few times to talk to her, or you would go down to her house to check up on her, but it was pretty obvious she was avoiding you. You understood that what she was going through wasn't easy, but it still hurt a little. You assumed maybe she didn't want your company anymore.
You have known Ellie for awhile now, and although she had her best friends Dina and Jesse,she would always come to you when she felt like she needed to get something off her chest. You were the one person who would listen and understand without trying to put your input in without having to put your two cents in. Even though her family gives her good advice, sometimes she felt more comfortable telling you things and spending time with you as well.
One night, you decided to go to the bar just to loosen yourself up for the week. You found yourself so worried about Ellie that you wound yourself up too tight, but it was nothing a couple shots couldn't fix. You just wanted to drink and relax in the bar in the cool atmosphere it usually had during the evening hours.
Once you got there, though, you were greeted with a different scene, one you'd never thought you'd see: A highly intoxicated Ellie is trying to hop over the bar counter, trying to fight the bartender because she won't get her another drink. You had rushed to the scene, spewing out apologies to everyone in the room.
The walk to Ellie's house was interesting one, not only was she clinging onto you the entire you walk there, she was also talking to you like she once used to. Although none of her sentences made any coherent sense, a few of the ones that came out of her were "I'm sorry", "I don't deserve you", and "don't leave me like everyone else has". You were shocked at the words coming out of her mouth, but your friend wasn't in the right state, so you decided not to push.
When you two finally arrived at Ellie's house, you gently placed her on the bed, and you were about to leave to retreat to your own house, knowing that if you stayed any longer, it would be awkward for the both of you in the morning. All of a sudden, you felt Ellie grip your wrist hard. She looked at you with teary eyes and a weak voice when she asked, Please stay? I don't want you to leave me ". You reluctantly agreed not only because you were tired yourself but her grip on your wrist really left no room for argument. You had slept on the other side of the bed, leaving a noticeable amount of space between the two of you. With that, you had called it a day.
When Ellie awoke the next day,she was greeted with your face nuzzling right into her chest. She was confused as to how you got into her house and was even more confused as to why you were in her bed. She shook you awake and angrily asked you, "What fuck are you doing in my house? You were disappointed but not surprised to be greeted by the aggressiveness of Ellie first thing in the morning. You sat up and answered "Last night you were making a fool of yourself and making an embarrassment out of yourself, so I decided to be the good friend that I am and help you home". You made sure to keep your voice as neutral as possible: I stayed here because you asked me to, but it seems like I should've just minded my business from the start."
Ellie stared, not knowing how to make an argument out of what you said. Ellie croaked out a small "thanks" before quickly telling you to leave.
You understood, and you were getting ready to leave, but you still needed answers. Thinking back to last night, you knew Ellie was bottling up a bunch of things, and you knew this wasn't healthy for her to be acting like this.
Before you reached her door, you turned around and told Ellie, "You know you can tell me anything, right? We're still friends, right?" She stared at you with eyes void of emotion, and that only pushed you to continue asking her, "Last night, you told me that you didn't want me to leave like everyone else has; did you really mean what you said? Her blank stare faltered for a second, going from sad to angry before flashing an angry look. "I was drunk. Anything I said last night was all bullshit; don't take it to heart."
Maybe at that point you should've listened to her, but you still kept deciding to push. Ellie, please tell me what's going on. Like, I know you've been going through shit and I want to be there to help you, but you keep pushing me away." You were confused and on the verge of crying because you never expected Ellie to treat you this way, but still, you had to let all your feelings out if this was how Ellie was going to end the relationship. "I'm sorry for being concerned, but if you don't care for our relationship anymore, I'll leave you alone now."
Ellie was quiet for a second before she just came crashing down, bawling on the floor. You stood there dumbfounded before Ellie continued, " Fuck! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I thought maybe if I pushed you away, it would stop you from leaving me and me having to go through all the pain of being left again. You rushed down to hug Ellie, trying to calm her down. "You mean so much to me, I don't know what I'd do with myself if you ever left me." The words that left Ellie's mouth shocked you, never knowing that Ellie had superseded these feelings for you. "I was scared that if I told you everything that I've done, you would look at me differently and hate me." You swiftly assured Ellie, "I would never leave you or hate you; I care about you so much too. I love you, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay this whole time."
You two looked at each other and decided that it was best for you to start things over. You guys started spending more time together and hanging out like you used to. By spending more time together, Ellie has also been able to open up to you more. When Ellie spent time with you, it felt as if nothing else mattered—as if nobody else mattered. Neither of you would trade this feeling for anything. In a few months, the feelings between you grew, and you ended up getting together. Ellie was so grateful to have someone like you in her life, and you were grateful for her.
A/n : i've been writing so many diff ideas, idk if this one is my best one out of the bunch but i just wanna share it with y'all
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cult-of-the-eye · 2 months
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False God
Statement of Saskia Rambeau regarding an unusual meeting. Original statement given 3rd December 2006. Committed to tape 29th March 2024. Audio recording by [REDACTED], Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, Manchester.
Statement begins.
Oh, uh. Should I just...start? Well, ok, well- I guess I've never quite been a lonely person. Alone maybe, but it's, I've never found it uncomfortable. I have a small flat, I'm busy with my job as a software engineer, I never exactly found it easy to make friends. That's just how life is. Was. I guess.
Anyway, you don't want a sob story about my life, sorry! I, uh, first noticed something strange a couple weeks ago. Just some rustling outside my flat, which I chalked up to a cat or something, probably chasing some rat in a bush. That was, until I remembered that I lived on the top floor. It would be sort of impossible for a cat to be rustling outside my window on the top floor. I didn't go to check what it was, I'm not an idiot. I know what happens to people who are curious. It was only on the fourth night of the noises, when I was so delirious from anxiety that I had gotten less than an hour's sleep within those four days, that I cracked. I wasn't sure what I would find, just that I wanted to make it stop.
You might sit there and think, it's just a rustling noise, it's probably the wind or some piece of litter getting jostled through a drain pipe, but you don't understand. When you spend all that time with just your thoughts for company, going from screen to screen to the dark walls of your bedroom, it does something to you. And usually that's fine. Comfortable, even. But when that predictability is disturbed, you start to do stupid things, like walk up to your window with a kitchen knife tucked under your sleeve.
I inched towards it, moved more by adrenaline than coherency. The night was clear, weird for a Manchester night, but I wasn't focused on that. There was just enough moonlight to illuminate my hand and the little jutting out piece of brick just outside my window. Now that I think about it, it seems almost...intentional. I gripped on to the handle, took a few short breaths and wrenched the window open with a small shriek. There was nothing. Of course there was nothing. Of course I had tormented myself over a silly little noise for days on end, for nothing.
And then I turned around.
You know how different religions have different images of their gods? How some have 5 hands, others 10? Some view it as heresy to even try to imagine their god? Some have wildly different interpretations even within one singular religion. Describing what materialised in my bedroom that night, would sort of be like if you asked me to describe god. If you asked me 3 days ago, I would've said it was a bright, pulsating light, softening and sharpening my vision in tune of the beating of my heart in my throat. That night, I would've said it was insectoid, feelers twitching towards me in a curious manner. Yesterday, I wouldn't have been able to begin to describe the events of that night. But today? Today, it seems more like a- a deer. The one you see at 2 am on a country road, that stops you in your tracks, headlights shimmering off the darkness of their eyes. It's nothing you've seen before and you know it's nothing you'll see again. The only thing I can say with absolute certainty is that it was beautiful.
I'll be honest with you. I'm not sleeping. I quit my job. The couple of people I would occasionally talk to haven't seen me in weeks. I spend my days staring out that window, into the glorious light of the day and darkness of the night. Nothing can shroud the Holy One. Don't you see, Archivist? I didn't have anything before and now I have someone to serve. My god is benevolent, it has granted me a new chance at life. I know my identity, where I belong, clearer than I ever have and I think it's time you saw it too.
It will be beautiful.
Statement ends. Did not love that ending. The original copy came with a sealed container of what seemed to be...dust? It says "Do Not Open" and I've never been one for defying authority. Any attempted follow ups to this case have obviously led to dead ends. 2 weeks in and I'm already starting to see a pattern here. I'm...gonna...go get some water.
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ladytauria · 7 months
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hey! 5, 11, 18, 23 from the ask game <333
mayaaa thank you <3
5) character you were most surprised to end up writing
very very surprised to have ended up writing for / enjoying writing for jason so much!! like, in hindsight it makes sense, as he’s the character i read for the most, but. yeah! did not expect that <3
11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?
i started posting fanfic at 12 & writing at 10, so. everything. but xD i think my ability to tell a coherent narrative has improved by leaps & bounds, even when i don’t have an idea of where i’m going when i start something. i also think i’ve gotten a better handle on description, which was an issue for me when i started, lol.
18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?
this is a surprisingly difficult question to answer bc i KNOW there are influences, many of them, but when i try to think of them i keep drawing blanks??? and then the ones i have thought of i keep going 👀 are you sure? is that right? did it influence you or do you just think about it all the time?
which like…
isn’t that what influencing is? but i digress, lmao.
anyway!!!
i know sarah j maas is a bit controversial BUT smth about reading her books made something click in my brain? & i feel like my writing voice actually solidified after
major envy for maggie stiefvater’s prose—reading the raven cycle made me nostalgic for a place i’d never been, which wasn’t something that had happened to me before xD anyway, genuinely love her writing
on the fanfic side
i think about “The Bird, The Fog, The Mist” by bacondoughnut constantly
“Reclaiming Innocence” by murtagh morzanson / cdelphiki is also always rotating in my head (i’ve read it 3 or 4 times) alongside the second (i think) fic in “In for a Penny”. both of them influence how i write younger jason
“The Penny Drops, The Penny Dreads” by batbirdies is the other fic i think of when i think of young jason/jason’s childhood.
the “i guess you were my first boy wonder” series by pissvinegarandacrowbar is jaydick & one of my favorite jason characterizations ever~
and then uh, i would not have fallen headfirst into jaytim / be a jaytim writer at all without “The Many Deaths of Jason Todd” by zoeleo! that catapulted me into loving jaytim <3 before that jaydick was my main ship (i still adore it~)
also every time i read your prose it inspires me to get more poetic with mine <3
23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?
hmm 🤔 i’m not really sure any of my life experiences are particularly obscure. ah, but! when i was younger i came across this little graphic—the only 12 1/2 writing rules you’ll ever need. (i actually used it as my desktop background for ages lol). anyway, number 10— Go for walks. Dance. Pull weeds. Do the dishes. Write about it. that one really stuck with me for some reason, & led to me paying more attention to my body/feelings, especially if i was bored or uncomfortable, bc it was something i could potentially use for writing!
that sort of mental check in also has done wonders for like. keeping an eye on my mental / physical health too lol.
[ get to know the writer ask meme ]
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practicecourts · 8 months
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20 questions
thanks @charmsandtealeaves & @wearingaberetinparis for the tag. I'm not sure how interesting the answers will be so I'm cutting the post here ;-)
How many works do you have on AO3? 20
2. What's your total A03 words count? 215,620
3. What fandoms do you write for? HP
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
a) Not the Doctor Crazy texting Muggle AU, oneshot, meet-awkward ridiculousness ;-) b) Head Over Handlebars For You Muggle meet ugly, Amsterdam, bicycles, Geese, the WIP that got out of control, only 1 more real chapter and 1 epilogue to go... c) It Was A Clear Black Night, A Clear White Moon - Hogwarts, oneshot roaming outside the castles on a Full Moon. I do love this story a lot myself, so I'm happy to see it here! I like to combine something serious and with something lighter. d) Shall We Shag Now Or Later? Rated M, Not inspired by Austin Powers BUT I did have a great time looking up those ridiculous scenes and dialogues. Classic crazy movie! Order Mission gone wrong, Jily forced to go under cover (wriggles eyebrows) e) When it Tastes so Damn Good another @jilychallenge oneshot, prompt along the lines of melting icecream - let's share... 5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
YES!!! I LOVE comments, incredible to have evidence someone read something I thought up and wrote and then left a comment telling me what it made them feel or just to say they liked it. IT IS AMAZING !! all caps worthy amazing. I do turn of notifications now for those because I became too addicted, so now I try to check once every so often. I do intend to answer all of them.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angtiest ending? My saddest ending is probably Silent Night (it's not Jily but a series of moments in the life of Hope Lupin) There's quite some bits that I've written for it, but I'm not sure if they are coherent as chapters, so there's only 2 currently posted. Angst versus sad, I'd have to say my microfic Jockey has the angstiest ending, but mostly because I know what is going on) and I promise the end of the whole fic (if I ever get to writing it, won't be angsty)
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I love happy endings... I'm hoping to succeed with bringing HOH to a satisfactory happy end. I think I will. Most of my one-shots also have a happy or hopeful ending.
8. Do you get hate on fics? No
9. Do you write smut. If so what kind? Ha, I thought I'd never... but for a writing challenge I wanted to join due to severe FOMO (i'm only human) I did, and I rewrote that into Shall we Shag Now or Later (Idk if anyone wants to know but I literally took almost all the time available thinking of REASONS why my jily would end up in smut pall position and in the end joked I'd just start of with *low voice* "Hey, Evans, we should shag," and take it from there... This turned into M-rated smut (I'm a little foggy on the difference between E and M still) also not sure what constitutes *kinds* of smut, but that 2 shot was more Smut with little plot. By now my wip Jily who really suffered from a lot of sexual unreleased tension finally got some release, so there's some Smut with plot as well, these days (HOHFY)
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Nope, I don't think I will (unless a certain type of AU would count as a cross over)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Nope, not that I'm aware of, I'd be appalled and also absolutely flabbergasted if someone would go to the trouble, tbh.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope again, I might translate my own fic in Dutch (although that would be so incredibly weird that I don't actually mean this)
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No, but it sounds fun. I am soon adding my 3 line to the express.... there's that ;-)
14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Jily, lames, Limes. 15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Life's a beach and then you dive. I want to rewrite it. I've again not outlined this fic very much, but I've so many plans... Maybe, I should ideally have a time turner to add a few hours to my days. bc I now realise how much work it would need to write it up how I want it to be lol. But there's some very personal stuff in there so who knows. I do like to finish stuff that I've started so... I hope i will, i'm not sure of it.
16. What are your writing strengths? Ok, disclaimer as I'm Dutch I'm very bad at this. BUT ... channeling inner Sirius Black: I'm good at making characters feel realistic, I'm good a little plot twist at the end, at humour (which is of course entirely personal) , I'm good at sneaky throwbacks to canon, I'm relatively good at looking at my own work with a critical eye and improving myself, as well as letting go of things that are * good enough* as they are, as this is * a fun hobby* (anyone want to share what they like about my writing - or what they think I could improve on, tell me in the comments )
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Thinking I'll do more in the time I have... and not outlining, I've tried honestly, but I've not found a way that really works yet, but still I have these huge fic ideas creep up on me, so Ideally I'd like to get way better at following some sort of outline instead of discovering my way through it.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? As I'm not a native English speaker and my fic HOHFY is set partly in Amsterdam there's some Dutch dialogues * i never even bothered to translate them, I'm so sorry. I'm currently also putting some French in my secret finish before posting fic, that will take a while though and it's only tiny bits as it's more the odd word here and there.
19. First fandom you wrote for? I never posted anything for it, but my first fanfic ideas were set in Tortall (Tamora Pierce) who knows, one day I might venture over there.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written? Here Comes The Sun I've recently got a lot of lovely comments on fics that weren't less than a week old (yeah!) and reread this one for Myster May because of it & enjoyed it a lot (idk, I don't do favourites, not really.) But I can see quite a few of my own strengths in this one so I'm putting it up here as a fave.
Tagging if you're not already been asked a million times and feel like doing this, no pressure at all, xx @chierafied @chiechie97 @tiffanytoms @oneofthesirens @suzyq31 @ohmygodshesinsane @jfleamont @uncertainwallflower
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everydaydg · 9 months
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Some thoughts on 0080 (Spoilers)
(As per usual, this whole thing is just a huge ramble that may or may not be coherent so I apologize for that in advance)
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I dont usually run into media that hits me like a brick.
Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket is a heartbreaking story that brilliantly utilizes the concept of the "one year war", established in the main series, to truly bring a tale that perfectly complements the values of Gundam with an amazing critique on war.
Where do I begin...
It all takes place in a small neutral colony (A colony is like a small city earth in space). It’s a beautiful place.
0080 is a beautiful series to look at, the colors are so vibrant, the animation is great, the retro-future look everything has is a treat to the eyes.
It’s a normal town with normal people living their daily lives.
The main PoV in the whole OVA is that of an elementary school kid, Alfred Izuruha
and this is the thing that makes 0080 unique from all the other side stories
In making the main PoV that of a childs instead of a soldiers, we get to see how war has influenced the youth in this colony and how Al reacts to the reality of war.
The way "War in the Pocket" critiques the indoctrination of children into war is amazing and leaves you disturbed at the sight of a whole elementary school exited for a possible next war after witnessing the horrors of this one.
The pacing of the whole thing is a bit slow but it’s the good kind of slow. It sets up everything, the world, the characters, the factions and their roles in this story, the relations between some characters.
It builds everything slowly and then it shows you how it destroys it.
Seeing this lovely world with a dark side introduced in the first three episodes ONLY FOR THE LATER 3 TO HAPPEN... GOD...
(Start of Spoilers)
Seeing Bernie slowly treat Al like a younger brother and grow fond of him is so sweet.
Bernie and Chris being cool around each other.
The Zeon team hanging out, they are not good people but they all feel like drinking friends
they deserve a better life than fighting for the war.
Alot of time is spent with the characters, its a very personal story.
I apreciate the restraint on action on the entire thing.
Every time there is action, something horrible happens.
Heres some thoughts I had in the middle of watching the final few episodes
-I fear -What will happen -Yknow -I have seen some of UC before -But the fear that comes every time a MS is brought up here -Every time... every time something horrible happens
My thoughts haven't changed.
The action is brutal.
Everything is brutal.
and after those peaceful days... everything happens.
The wipeout of the Zeon team
Bernie's resolve to fight for the colony, to protect for Al's home from the nuclear threat... ONLY FOR THAT THREAT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF OFF SCREEN.
The heartbreak of seeing this young guy throw himself to death for no reason anymore.
Seeing Bernie's recording that scene... it’s everything 0080 stands for

"Don't hate the Gundam pilot and don’t go hating the feddie soldiers because they are like us, you and me. They are just people simply doing what they think is right, that’s all. I know that it’s hard but try not to hate them".

Everything ending with the dramatic irony of Bernie asking Al to say hi to Chris and Chris asking Al to say goodbye to Bernie.
and back at the elementary, hearing some of the most chilling words ive ever heard at the end of a show.
"Al don't cry, cmon! You know another war will start soon and when they close the school we'll be able to check out all the cool stuff! it'll be more than this time!"
It hurts.
I will never forget this. what a cruel way to get back into gundam.
10/10
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Thats all I got in me atm. I know its a incoherent mess as is most of the things I write about media. I deeply apologize for this wall of text
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Boo you called?
Honestly I was too nervous after that chapter to think of a coherent rant, I had this sort of sneaking anxiousness before it even came out like no joke, I was checking my phone every hour because I felt like you were gonna do something with this chapter.
And I was right
“Who knew blue and purple were such similar colors” YOU 🫵
I am sobbing, weeping even
all I have are the most questions to question to ever question in the history of questions.
Because the thought was always there where I was like “oh yeah Yu was probably an old ass man when Nardo was leading the resistance”, and it was staring at me from the corner of every room. But I usually just found it more interesting that he grew up in the 80s and 90s on a farm.
And now here you come w/ all these hints and teases.
What are you gonna do with my fave father son relationship huh? Is Casey with a chainsaw gonna do more than just shovel talk???? He gonna start trying to get Nardo’s head in the future??? How does Casey know Yu??? Ya see, I was thinking up a lot of angst with this duo, now I’m at the edge of my seat regretting ever thinking it. I SHOULD HAVE CHERISHED THE TIME WE HAD.
Remember when I said I was more than happy to get Jr at the expense of Yu?… I never suspected it was gonna be that serious…
Jr for life tho, lets just hope qué no nos vaya dañar in the long run boo.
I’m hoping the best for all three of em tbh
Send you all of my cherished care and love <3
(Trio is assembling very intensely rn)
BOO, MY LOVE!
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*evil laughter soundtrack insert here*
Ah, the beauty of pain and it's causes (said the cause).
just so you know I am barely holding back that dramatic "muahahahaha" laugh rn.
anyways!
I am happy to inform you that I do have answers, which is a rare occurrence because I have no idea what I'm doing 99% of the time which means that about 78.9% of all the plot twists and turns in the fic are born on the spot, but you shall only find them in the future 😌💅
for now I will leave you with the simple knowledge that I am a sucker for happy endings, so there is a light at the end of that tunnel! somewhere. I don't know where exactly. but we'll get to it. one day.
#weeping trio assembled once again
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jerseymichaels · 2 years
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I don’t really know where to start this or what I’m even going to say, because quite frankly I still haven’t processed everything and my emotions are so all over the place it’s going to be hard to write a coherent thought. But I dunno- I just feel like venting and ranting.
I started watching AH in 2011. 11 years ago. It’s weird to say that- it never felt like it was that long. They’ve been a constant in my life, they were there for pretty much every rough patch I had in those 11 years. It’s hard to look at how much they helped me keep going now, but they really truly did.
In 2013 I lost my grandmother. AH was there. In 2014 I was mentally and verbally abused and AH was there. In 2015 I started college and AH got me through every single stressful, insane year of it. They were even a lot of my inspiration in the art projects I turned in for classes. In the summer of 2019 I fell into crippling, all-consuming depression and if it weren’t for AH (and the people I met through the community) I honestly might not be here today.
In 2020, it all crashed down around me when all of the horrid things Ryan had done came out. He was a lot of the reason I was involved in the community- I started watching his streams, and then made a Twitter, then a Tumblr. I almost walked away then. I told myself it might be best to keep my distance. In the end I found myself going back to all of my favorite comfort videos of theirs (sans-Ryan of course) and knew I really wasn’t going anywhere. They had just helped me through too much. I couldn’t walk away.
And now we’re here, in 2022. Everything that was said by them, about fostering a healthy workplace and environment… about treating everyone as equals… saying they were going to make changes… empty promises. It was all so hollow. Every single time I check Twitter, or Tumblr, or Reddit, there’s always a new horror story from a former employee.
I’m so disappointed that I ever supported them. I can admit my relationship with them was unhealthy at points, and I knew it and didn’t do anything to distance myself more until 2021- and even then I still had a first subscription and watched some videos every week. Earlier this year I went to RTX, something I’d dreamed of since I learned it existed, and genuinely had one of the greatest weekends of my life. All of those memories feel so tainted now. Looking at the badge makes me feel kind of gross now, to be honest, though I know I bought it before I knew the truth.
I’m grappling really hard with letting go of RT. I absolutely will because the last thing I’d ever want to do is give this company any more of my support after all they’ve done… but it’s so god damn hard. They’ve meant so much for me for so long. I’ve made some of my best friends through the community, and even met my now-fiancé. Obviously my relationships with them have become removed from the community sphere, but it’s still where the root of our friendship came from. It sucks that the way that I met some of the most important people in my life is tainted now.
Keeping this blog as a Michael blog is even making me feel a little weird and guilty- even though Kdin forgave him and he wouldn’t have any hand in the wage theft/other company issues. I dunno, I’m just not sure if it’s still respectful, or if I should just get rid of this blog. It’s a tough line to draw.
I just really don’t know, man.
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skoulsons · 1 year
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hi. So I have nearly 90 drafts that have piled up over the course of about 3 or 4 months, so I guess I’ll start posting them now 😭 I haven’t really read over this or checked it and I think I wrote it at 4am, so I’m sorry if it loses any coherency
(Headcanon?? or im just down bad) but like, joel’s “if somehow the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment, I would do it all over again” being the way he tells ellie he loves her is so incredibly profound to me. Love (WE’RE TALKING PLATONIC) isn’t a feeling. People act like it is, which is why so many people fall out of it. Love is commitment, serving, and choosing them every single day. It’s in your actions. Their entire story shows this. Even in the little things, like joel teaching her how to play guitar. But even in the greater things. Ellie keeping him alive all throughout winter. Sure, she needed him to get to the fireflies, but I think winter goes deeper than that. This is post-ranch argument. The ranch argument (and joel taking her back while they’re sitting above Jackson) and joel finding her with David are *their* moments. The moments when we see, okay, they are stuck together now. Even once they reach the fireflies, that’s not the end like we thought it would be a few hours ago. They’re going to stay together. Joel saying “I’m never gonna leave you again” to her in that silent moment immediately after he finds her after David is such a….I can’t think of the word oh my sjdhdjd but like their relationship is kind of solidified(?). Like their solidifying moment of “we’re with each other now”. And I think winter shows Ellie’s deep, profound love for Joel. Giving him literally all the warmth and as much as comfort as they could have (yes he was dying obviously just shhhh), probably nearly starving herself to make sure he got the majority of food and water she was able to get. She did that for weeks while he was knocking on deaths door. And joel, while she was just a job at the beginning, has still protected her from day one. And obviously his big moment of action that showed his love (no matter what way you view the end of the first game), was him saving her from the fireflies. He could not bear to lose another daughter, so he killed doctors and soldiers and everyone in his way to save her life. NOW to tie back to my first sentence in this whole spiel. I do believe they’ve both loved each other for years now, and I think it was always an understood thing between them. Joel’s love definitely never faltered through those last two years, though I’m sure you could argue Ellie’s did. Or didn’t, I don’t know. But it wasn’t something they ever said to each other. At the time of their porch conversation, tensions are very high. Ellie is still upset from the dance with Joel’s intervention, and she’s still giving him the cold shoulder bc of his lie. I think a lot of things go through his head when she says “I should’ve died in that hospital. My life would’ve fcking mattered. But you took that from me”. I think one thing is, and something I probably would not have controlled, is her saying her life would’ve mattered if she died for the cure. If I were joel I would’ve spewed about how she does matter and blah blah blah sappy stuff ynow. But he’s walking on thin ice here. He knows she feels betrayed. He knows they’re not how they used to be. He knows he can’t just say anything because he may upset her more, and that’s at the top of his list of thing he does not want to do. And so he waits a minute and tries to collect his thoughts and what he wants to tell her. He thinks of something that, while it combats everything she just said to him, also holds a lot of weight of their relationship and why he did what he did. I genuinely think that him saying this is just “I love you” in its purest, most raw, emotional, profound (I’ve said this like 7 times im sorry it just f i t s) form. If he said “I love you too much to let you die”, that would’ve scared her off. But he gave her something that she needed to hear and to start to understand why he did it and how he STILL feels, even after everything. And sometimes I wonder if the “I would do it all over again” refers to just the hospital, or their entire journey as a whole. Either way, I think it still tells her enough.
-And so she tells him she doesn’t think she’ll be able to forgive him and it BREAKS him. The thought of losing her, or not so much losing her, but never getting their relationship back to birthday level camping trip highs, kills him. His breath is shaky immediately. But then she tells him, maybe she could forgive him. But not that she could, but that she’d LIKE to try. She WANTS to get back to that birthday level camping trip high of the relationship they used to have. As hurt as she is, she misses it. He’s (I believe, personally) the most important person in her life, even if at this point. She wants to get back there as much as he does. And he starts to break more. Because now, there’s a chance, though incredibly small, that he COULD get her back. And that is more than enough. It could take years, but he’s happy with it. He’s thrilled to know that, even after everything, she is willing to try. Can you imagine early tlou2 if it were different and we got to see a cutscene of Ellie asking joel if he wanted to watch Curtis and Viper 2 that night? The smile that would’ve come to his face?
ALSO I FORGOT TO GO WITH THE LAST CHUNK OF TEXT.., him singing future days to her I think is also such a big profession of love. They’ve been in Jackson a few months and they’re living a “normal” lil family father-daughter life now. Not out every day fighting for their life. They get to settle down. And obviously his attachment to ellie has been going on for a while, but them being like,, they’re glued together now. They’re WITH each other. Joel’s adopted her ok ive talked to Neil druckmann myself I know things. But joel signing this to her is just so incredibly special. He loves her so much. I literally sat in my bed last night and was full on sobbing bc the degree that his love goes for her is beyond my comprehension. Every time I think about I CANNOT wrap my head around it. It’s so insane to me. But he loves her so incredibly much. He got a second chance at fatherhood and refuses to lose ellie, under any circumstance as we’ve seen, even if the rest of the human race was on the line, he can’t lose her. Now obviously as I mentioned above, we never hear the “i love you” sentiment actually said between either of them, but we see it in their actions. All their actions throughout the games, even the little things. And I think what joel says on the porch is as much of an i love you as you can get, i think I’m singing to her is just as much as well. He could’ve sung ANY song he knew on guitar, but no he picked future days to show her how much he loves her. “If i ever were to lose you, I’d surely lose myself. I believe, cause I can see, our future days, days of you and me” (yes I cut some lines out) BUT LIKE???? GDKDHDK but not even just talking about the lyrics or the fact that they show exactly what joel is trying to say, it’s also that this is the song joel uses to introduce ellie to guitar. To introduce her to something he 1) promised he’d teach her and 2) it’s something he LOVES. it’s just so,?:?!&,)?:,;@($ i love their love I love their story I love the little things I love overthinking about them
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cancerfairy · 2 years
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hey bestie!!! ❤️ my question for you is "how will I meet my future spouse?" - S.Y
the question I decided to answer for you is "how do people view you"
you know the first thing that popped up to me is self centric and it's not a bad thing, ppl tend to overlook your personality or misjudge you alot ( not everyone does this, only some). but to some you are seen as someone very responsible and you tend to not over analyse stuff and always go with the flow. People tend to like that about how easygoing you are and some may envy how you always look like you keep life in check (you know sometimes ppl see what they wanna see, only u know how much u struggle to get to where u are). I'm also picking up some sad energy too, I'm not sure but I see some ppl may see you dealing with something / ur going thru a hard time but hey that love seeing how courageous and how strong you are in times like this (I'm proud of you too). It's sudden but I'm picking up abt love but it's more to self love so ig ppl see you as someone that knows how to care/nurture themselves (thru arts for example) so u should take pride on it and keep nurturing yourself, little flower 🌸. Last but not least (from my personal point of view) you are attractive (ik I've never seen u before) but beauty comes in many ways and what I like most is ur speech and the way u present yourself. that's all I'm getting for u layla hope u like it. :)
hiii bae!! i gotta give feedback cause how did you read me so well.... self centric is v accurate cause when i was in school people would always tell me i seemed very stuck up or they automatically thought i was mean but when they got to know me they said they realized how wrong they were :) people also do think i have my life in check for some reason so you're also right ab that! the sad energy is true, im always going thru it fr :,) thanks for the compliments at the end bestie i appreciate it ;*
ʚ how will you meet your fs?
okay i know you didn't ask for timing but i immediately heard winter. you could meet your future spouse in the colder months like december, january or even february. i also got a very specific time of 5 years? anyway on to the actual question you asked! when i shuffled, the cards came out and told a perfectly coherent story so i'm happy about that. so basically, in the future you may be in a very happy relationship. one that makes you feel very calm and relaxed, both of you may be very in tune with each other's emotions and thoughts. although the relationship may seem happy and you two might be in love for awhile, im seeing that the relationship suddenly comes crashing down. i'm not entirely sure what causes this discord between you two but maybe it's a financial issue or you just wake up and suddenly you feel like you're done with the relationship. one person may have been stressed with their own life and couldn't handle a relationship. whatever the case may be, it will suddenly come to an end and there will be no second chances. im seeing that you'll move on and surprisingly, you'll become better than you've ever been. you'll be in a empress energy. you'll feel lighthearted and just ready for anything to come your way. that's when you'll meet your fs and i think it will be very soon after you break up with your previous partner. it could seem like a rebound at first but you'll be very surprised to meet this person. you'll unexpectedly give your heart to them. there'll be this insane chemistry that you just can't shrug off and you'll find yourself having a lot of fun with them. i believe it'll be your empress energy that really attracts them.
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newyorkkiss · 6 months
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i saw your post! 🥄 we always seem to be up at the same fucked up times (well theyre fucked up in my timezone at least). i wanted to say first that i read your entire response to my last anon about how spoon never really blew up the way i think they couldve, & you were totally on point with everything you said- to a much more salient and coherent degree than my ask tbh. there are definitely Levels to it that i wasnt fully thinking on at the time, plus all the nuance with the fact that they were really underserved by their own label for so long!! really enjoyed seeing your thoughts, & still appreciating all your spoonposting a ton 🫶
idk if you remember but in my first ever anon i mentioned i had the opportunity to meet them that first time i saw them live through some random connections. they were nice! i remember telling them i'd loved their music for so many years, i remember being thanked and asked the "so what do you do" thing a little awkwardly haha. i was a depressed unemployed loser at that time in life so i just said "nothing" (also awkwardly) and then i do think it was britt who quipped something like "cheers, we're doing nothing tomorrow." then we took a pic. all this is to say i dont think its the worst idea in the world to try and meet them, theyre chill guys afaik- when it comes to whether they appreciate or despise unexpected fan interactions, you'd know better than me atp! i think as long as you dont hang your hopes on running into them, or harbor specific expectations to avoid ending up crushed if nothing happens and/or if it isnt what you had in mind, then i dont see why you shouldnt be open to it. but i also get if you dont think youd be able to keep that part of you in check, ive been there with stuff like this & avoided giving myself opportunities to be let down. you'll know better than i do the correct call to make for yourself right now, but hopefully my perspective is at least helpful <3
fyffgdgfdg i was high when i wrote that last ask i’m shocked you thought it was coherent… i’m not the clearest of writers when i tumble into a tangent – made esp. worse when i’m not sober. thank you for that lol.
and yeah i’ll take that advice on board. need to be rational and not deluded as much as my brain clouds me into thinking things etc etc etc !!
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kwockxpressions · 11 months
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Nyla Godbold
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1. Name, Year, Major & Hometown
Nyla Godbold, 3rd year, Human Development major, Hometown: Phoenix, Arizona
2. What are you most proud of?
At the moment, my best friends. We’re all going through a mutual rough patch and I am so proud of them for continuing to be so amazing!! In general, my family :)
3. If you could choose a Sanrio character as a pet, which one would it be and why?
I would choose Chibimaru because he is a brown, adventurous, and curious puppy who reminds me of my dog (who is a chocolate lab)!!
4. What is the biggest green flag in someone?
My biggest green flag in someone is when they remember little/minor details about me or our convos!! Also people who reciprocate energy and initiate!
5. What’s your biggest ick?
One of my biggest icks is when people put me in the middle of their drama.
6. If you were Kirby, who/what would you swallow and become?
I would swallow a plane so I can be anywhere with easy access 😎
7. What’s the most embarrassing moment in your life?
My most recent embarrassing story was this past November. I was already late to my BIS 2B midterm and started taking the test. I soon heard “Cardigan” by Taylor Swift playing OUT LOUD and was so in denial that it was coming from my phone. But after a minute or two, I asked a TA if I could check my phone to see if that’s where the music was coming from and sure enough, it was me. Doesn’t sound so bad but in the moment I wanted to crumble!!
8. When’s the last time you cried?
This past Thursday (4/20/23)
9. What’s your most used emoji?
The crying emoji “😭”
10. What do you value in friendship and tell me about your best friend?
OOOOO!! I am all for the deep questions but absolutely horrible when it comes to composing my thoughts coherently!! Let’s see how this goes…Throughout my life, friends were always based out of convenience or given situations. I never felt the real IMPACT a friendship could leave on me until attending college. There’s something beautiful about pursuing college with your platonic soulmate(s); such as knowing everything about their day while simultaneously being able to give each other the space we need to grow as individuals. I recently lost one of my good friends earlier this month and now more than ever I am more appreciative of my best friends. I know college is temporary, but I know our friendships are not. That’s the hard piece to fathom, that there will be a near future where we will not be a 5-10 minute drive away from each other or can not get our impulsive night time drives and frozen yogurt/boba dates. But it’s a friendship like ours that is impossible to beat and ultimately incomparable. Ironically, I was intimidated by one of my best friends the moment I met her. She is the most determined and strong-willed person I know. Literally my polar opposite yet we complement each other where we may fall. My other best friend is ALSO the polar opposite of me and keeps me grounded. He is my sunshine during my rainy day. Thanks to my two best friends, I have been able to become a better communicator, reciprocator, and initiator. I call them both my soulmate friends. They are the friends you read about in realistic fiction novels growing up or in coming of age movies. There will be moments where I literally will call us out for being too cheesy, or too perfect, almost like a pinch me moment. On the other hand, we have been through highs and lows and it has not been easy. Sometimes, we didn’t talk to each other for weeks on end. Those moments are definitely moments of reflections that help me to understand that even during the lowest of lows, they are not going anywhere. I don't have to be afraid of them randomly “peacing out” on me or our friendship when the time is most convenient for them (that has happened in other toxic friendships). Adding to the idea of toxic, these two friendships have taught me the difference between toxic people versus people with toxic traits. I think it is super important to be self-aware of one’s own toxic traits and make sure that we as individuals continue to work on ourselves on an everyday basis. One of them is graduating this quarter and moving back home to San Diego to continue her journey in sports law and I just can’t wait to be her cheerleader while she’s working for the NFL. My other best friend is also my housemate, and we are attached at the hip… like two peas in a pod. He has very powerful testimony regarding his upbringing/life’s journey and is truly my inspiration. I genuinely can't picture a life without both of them.
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ghost-ghost-baby · 3 years
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Narcissist (alpha!readerxOmega!Bakugo soulmate au)
An: this is heavily inspired by the song narcissist by younger hunger definitely recommend listening to it!
An: BIG TY TO MY BETA FOR EDITING THIS ABSOLUTE MONSTER OF A FIC WE STAN!
Word count: 3.2k (ur welcome)
Summary: Bakugo being a little shit basically- Mina and Denki r sick of him- reader runs out of scent blockers-
Warnings: omegaverse, swearing, Bakugo being a dick, reader just thinks he’s hot, gets a bit spicy but nothing graphic, non traditional dynamics (subby alphas) drug use (weed)
You were in a familiar room, one you’d come to love since you’d started dreaming of it, and you sat on the bed and waited… any moment now.
“Oi, are you here, shithead?” The voice of your omega was dreamier than it was in real life; his harsh words unable to punctuate the tranquility of your dream.
“I always am, Katsuki!” You chirped, grinning as he slowly faded into existence. The black tank top and jeans he wears make him look far too good, and your brain short-circuited for a few seconds.
“I told you not to fucking call me that!” He growled, but you only laughed. Reaching out to grab his hands before he could stop you, you pull him down so you could kiss him. Any anger he had quickly melted away, and Katsuki had pulled one hand away to rest on your shoulder and pushed back. You got the point, you pulled away for air and leaned back on your elbows as you did. Katsuki followed and straddled you without a moment of hesitation. His mouth latched onto your neck and you let out a hum. With one hand gravitating to tangle in his hair, he gave you another push that had you lying flat on your back.
“Hey-”
“Shut the fuck up, don’t ruin this.” Katsuki bit down on your throat and you squeaked, although he licked over the mark seconds later to soothe it, and only pulled away to kiss you when you tried to talk again. You melted, let your hands wander down to his thighs, and had your thumbs rubbing absent-minded circles. Then, Katsuki was unbuttoning the shirt you had on, hands quickly trailing lower to-
“Y/N! Did you hear what Mr. Aizawa said?” Mina’s voice brought you back from the dream you had the night before, and you blinked at her as you blanked.
“No way I'm working with their dumbass!” Katsuki snarled as Kiri forced him into a seat at your table, and you turned your head to Sero with a questioning look. He usually knew what was going on in class.
“We have a group project for a presentation, Mr. Aizawa picked the groups-”
“Oh hell yeah, all my best bro’s working together? Sounds like fun to me!” Denki leaned over to hug you and Mina, and the pieces started to click together. You were working on an art project, with your mate, who hate-
“How could anything be fun with Y/n around, they fucking ruin everything.” Katsuki grumbled to himself, refusing to meet your eyes despite sitting opposite you. Kiri mouthed an apology to you from his seat next to Katsuki. Honestly, you had no idea why he’d decided to act like… such a brat really, but it was just an act, however annoying it was. The two of you were soulmates, he’d come around, eventually.
“Oh hush, Bakugo, Y/n’s a riot and we all know it! You’re the one who goes to sleep at like, 8pm” Denki came to your aid. The electric blonde then pressed a kiss to your cheek that had Katsuki gritting his teeth.
“So, what's the project, guys?” You flipped through your book to a fresh page, resting your chin on your hand as you waited for the others to speak.
“We have to show the versatility of styles and composition under a singular theme!” Kiri was the one that answered you, and the group immediately started throwing around ideas.
“I think we could do horror, a lot of horror artists have different composition styles and still manage to convey the-”
“Tch, that’s the best you could come up with? I’m not surprised, an alpha as shitty as you can’t be capable of any decent ideas.” Katsuki sneered, but you only smiled at him as the group agreed with your idea. Your omega merely grumbled and hunched over in his seat as the group discussed the different artists you could use as examples.
You’d stayed late to double-check something with a professor, and you were still flipping through your notebook as you walked through the unusually empty halls. You weren’t paying attention to where you were going, and before you knew it you ran into someone, the same someone who shoved you against a wall seconds later, but your fear subsided when you realised it was just Katsuki.
“Watch where you’re fucking going, dipshit.” Katsuki wasn’t even sure why he’d pushed you up against the wall, but being this close to you, touching you… it was..nice…
“Tch, god your scent is so weak, you smell like a fucking beta, how’d I get stuck with such a runt, huh? Some sick kind of joke.” Katsuki’s tone didn't match what he was saying. The way he leaned forward to rub his cheek over your scent gland definitely said otherwise, but you stayed quiet, he always found some excuse to scent you, but he’d usually get embarrassed and storm off if you dared to say anything.
“You’re pathetic, you know? Being this submissive for an omega, are you sure you’re not a beta? It’d make more sense.” You bit your lip when Bakugo pressed a kiss to your neck, only hesitating a moment before he started sucking a mark onto your skin. His words bounced right off of you because all you could focus on was how hot he was and how he’d subconsciously put his thigh between your legs and thank fuck you were on scent blockers, or you’d never hear the end of it.
“Really, you aren’t even going to try and defend yourself? You’re even weaker than I thought.” A growl next to your ear made you shiver, and Katsuki pushed away with a snarl when he was satisfied. He cursed at you again and warned you ‘not to tell anyone or he’d kick your ass’ (he wouldn’t) before he walked away, leaving you to walk home with your head completely in the clouds.
“What took you so fucking long, huh idiot?” Katsuki was on you the second you appeared in the dream, pulling you down into a rather ferocious kiss before you could say anything. He bit your lip when you didn’t open your mouth fast enough, swallowing any protests you would have made, and continued to kiss you until you were dizzy. “I’ve been waiting two hours…” He pulled away to kiss under your jaw, and if you didn’t know him so well you’d miss the insecure tone in his voice.
“Sorry, Midoriya wanted-” You stopped when Katsuki growled, biting down so hard you were surprised he didn't draw blood.
“Why the fuck are you saying his name here, huh? Are you tryna piss me off?” He pulled away to sneer at you. You opened your mouth to explain, but the words died in your throat when he unzipped your hoodie, and any coherent thought you had went out the window when he started to kiss your neck.
Everything was ready. The lounge room was set up, complete with snacks, drinks, and stationery for you and your friends to work on the project. They were meant to be here any second, and you couldn’t help but hover near the door to your apartment. You weren’t used to having people over and it still put you on edge having others in your space. But that thought left your head when a knock sounded on your door. You quickly opened it and were almost knocked over by Denki and Mina engulfing you in a hug.
“Thanks so much for hosting bro!”
“Awww you laid out all these snacks and stuff too! An omega’s gonna be really lucky to have you one day Y/n!” They pushed inside. Denki closed the door as Mina oohed and aahed over the setup, their praise had a slight blush rising to your face as you sheepishly rubbed your neck. Sero was next, quickly hugging you before he joined Denki and Mina, then Katsuki and Kirishima last. The blonde pushed past you without saying hello, but Kiri pulled you into a hug so tight you couldn’t breathe for a second, and was complimenting the setup as you took a seat. You tried to sit next to Mina, but Denki let out a whine and the pair was pulling you down between them before you had time to protest. Denki immediately leaned on you once you were settled. Katsuki couldn’t focus on the project, how could he, when his two dipshit friends were all over his mate. And you weren’t even doing anything to stop them! In fact, you were leaning into their hugs and giggling at every stupid joke they made! It had Katsuki fuming. Kirishima was the only one close enough to smell the angry shift in his scent, and he glanced between his friend and you, slowly putting the pieces together. You really had no idea what was happening, but Denki’s head was on your shoulder, and Mina’s arm around your waist as she asked questions about the project, giggling and pressing a kiss to your cheek whenever you got confused, which happened more than you’d like to admit. The blonde gritted his teeth when Mina’s hand went to your thigh, you were his! Nobody else should ever be touching you like that! You should know better! So when you excused yourself to grab something from your room, of course he made up some excuse about needing the bathroom so he could follow you.
The door to your room closed with a click, and you quickly spun around, expecting to see Mina or Denki, anyone except Katsuki to be honest.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He was seeing red at this point. He cornered you and made you stumble back until your waist hit your desk.
“Uh- getting more pens-?” You held out the pack of pens with a confused look on your face that only made Katsuki angrier. How were you so stupid? And so fucking cute when you were- he cut off that thought, he needed to focus on yelling at you. Not the way your brows furrowed and how you nervously bite your lip as you waited for him to say something. Wait- were you blushing? Fuck, maybe he should-
“Katsuki? Are you oka-“
“Shut the fuck up, dipshit.” He snarled. Then, catching you both off guard, he leaned forward and kissed you. Your eyes fluttered closed immediately. He’d only kissed you in your dreams, which was nothing compared to this, and you hesitantly placed your hands on his waist. His hands went to your hair to pull you closer, tugging it until you got the message and parted your lips for him. Katsuki let out a hum of approval as he deepened the kiss, why hadn’t he done this sooner? You couldn’t focus on anything other than how much Katsuki tasted like caramel, he didn’t taste like caramel in the dreams. You couldn’t help but whine when he pulled back. Another insistent tug on your hair had you tilting your head back, and Katsuki didn’t waste any time kissing over your neck. You were so lost in the feeling you almost missed the words he growled against your skin.
“You should know better, you’re mine. Other people shouldn’t be fucking touching you like that.”
“Do you think they’re like…. Finally-” Mina made a hand gesture that had Denki cackling, even Kiri cracked a smile.
“I hope so, it’s getting hard to watch all the back and forth.” Sero sighed, dropped his pen, and stretched.
“Yeah, have you seen how mad Bakubro gets though? It’s pretty fun to push his buttons like this!” Denki grinned as he leaned his head on Mina’s shoulder, and she wrapped her arm around his waist.
“I don’t know… Bakugo’s uh… stubborn, to put it nicely.”
“Your scent is weird… are you wearing a different perfume?” Mina leaned her head on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist as you glanced at Katsuki. After whatever the fuck had happened in your room, he’d gone back to acting like he hated you, so, you’d kept letting Denki and Mina do whatever they wanted. He had his eyes fixated on the work, and you turned back to Mina with a smile.
“Oh, sorry about that! I forgot to refill my scent blockers and my doctor’s not available until next week.”
“Don’t be sorry, bro! It’s nice, like really, really nice!” Denki came up behind you, throwing a quick glance at Katsuki before he leaned forward, crooning and rubbing his cheek over your scent gland, Mina doing the same a moment later. The pen Katsuki was holding snapped, his angry scent pumping out in waves as he glared daggers into the book in front of him, all too aware of you laughing.
You were hyper-aware of how strong your scent was, this was the longest you’d gone without scent blockers since you’d presented, and you’d lit a scented candle to try and cover it up. It hadn’t really worked, maybe you should light some incense-
“Y/n! Sorry we’re early!” Mina’s hand on your shoulder broke you from your thoughts, and you shook your head before you smiled. Denki cut you off before you could apologize about your scent.
“Damn Y/n! It smells like you baked cookies- oh my god did you bake-”
“Don’t be stupid, babe, it’s just their scent.” Mina shoved him inside, shaking her head as she followed and closed the door behind her.
“Oh! Of course!” Denki nodded, and he and Mina linked arms with you. They walked you over to the couch and sat you all down with grins on their faces.
“Uh… guys-?” You didn’t trust that look, it never leads to anything good.
“Well, since the project is like, 99.5% done-” Mina started, hand coming up to play with your hair.
“We thought we deserved a reward!” Denki interrupted, reaching into his bag and producing a blunt. You felt your own grin forming.
“Oh my god- is that from-”
“Shinso! You know he sells the best stuff on campus, I decided to splurge for my bros!” Denki looked incredibly pleased with himself, and you couldn’t help but tackle the blonde in a hug.
“Oh my god Denki, you’re the best!”
The three of you were blazed by the time the others got there. Sero happily bounced over to share the blunt, while Katsuki and Kiri just sighed and sat down with you. Katsuki’s eyes instantly zoned in on where you were lying on Mina and Denki on the couch. He was oddly silent as he tried to keep his cool, the nagging thoughts that had always been there slowly got stronger. He’d always had to be strong, people perceived him as weak just because of his dynamic, so he’d rejected the thought of being with an alpha, hoping for a beta or omega. Or you. You never made a big deal out of your dynamic, and always treated him as an equal. Then the dreams started. He loved you, he really did! But his whole reputation would go down the drain if he was claimed by an alpha, especially one with such a weak scent and mild presence. So…. he pretended to hate you in public because the two of you had your dreams, where nobody could judge him! Even if they did pale in comparison to real life. But lately… he couldn’t stop wondering… were you getting tired of waiting? With the way you were acting… the thought made his stomach turn and his canines come out. Especially since you had run out of blockers. Your scent getting stronger and stronger as the days went by. You were his alpha! You shouldn’t be scenting other people! Especially omegas! And you certainly shouldn’t be laying on them while you were ignoring him! You hadn’t even said hello to him! You were too busy getting high with those assholes like you didn't belong to him! You were his, it wasn’t fair!
Mina was the last out of the apartment. She kissed your cheek and winked at you as the door closed. The exhaustion set in as you leaned against the door.
“What the fuck was that?” Katsuki growled and made you startled when you saw him by the table. You only shrugged as you went to pack up the stuff on the couch.
“Denki got us some weed because the project was done-”
“Not that, dickhead! They were all over you!” He marched over to you, trying to ignore how good you smelled up close.
“And? We’re not-” You responded, and Katsuki was shoving you before he realized, ignoring the way you yelped as you fell on the couch. You sprawled on your back and glaring up at him.
“Katsuki! What the fuck!” Katsuki didn’t reply, eyes traveling over your vulnerable form. Flush rose to his face as he realized how provocative the position was, causing warmth to pool in his tummy. If kissing was so much better in reality, what would it be like to be inside you? Feel you clench around him and pull his hair when he hit your sweet spot? Would your thighs shake the same in real life when he just kept going? The omega didn’t even realize his scent had changed, he just licked his lips and stared at you with hooded eyes, fuck he wanted-
“Are you okay? You zoned out.” Fuck, when had you gotten up? You were so close now, your scent overwhelming. He never wanted you to go on blockers again.
“Fuck, Katsuki! Katsuki! Are you in heat?” It finally dawned on you. Katsuki’s scent had taken on a sweeter tone it didn’t usually have, and with the way he kept zoning out, it was obvious. Plus thoughts of him on top of you that wouldn’t leave your brain alone. Your question snapped him out of his daze, and the omega snarled at you, stepping back and stumbling when a jolt of pain went through him.
“Fuck off, like you could trigger-” His voice cut off as another wave of pain went through him, causing you to reached out to steady him without thinking. The omega was going to let out a growl but it quickly changed to a whine as it escaped his mouth. You pulled your hand back like it had burned, although your mate’s temperature was so high it wasn’t out of the question. You took two steps back and froze when a feral snarl ripped through the room, dark red eyes pinning you in your place.
“He-hey Katsuki…” Your voice stopped his growling, and it took every ounce of self-control you had to stay coherent as he advanced, your rut already trying to cloud your judgment. Your eyes darted around the room, maybe you could make it to the bathroom? Then Katsuki could ride out his heat and you could talk about it? yeah. Katsuki was only a foot away from you now, the grin he had on was somehow more unsettling than the snarl, and you shook your head to get some of your resolve back. Okay, three, two, one-
You made it maybe ten centimeters before Katuski caught you, and pushed you back down on the couch. He wasted no time sitting on your lap and tilting your face up to look into his eyes.
“You’re not getting away from me, Alpha. I know you want this. I should have done this months ago.” Sincerity shone through your omega’s lidded eyes, and you felt your small shred of resolve shrink away even more. Your hands flew to his chest to push him away.
“Ka-Katsuki it’s just- just your heat, you don’t mean-“
“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t mean, alpha.” Katsuki was back to growling at you. His hands grabbed your wrists, pinned them down, and used his knees to keep them in place. He went back to cupping your face, red eyes boring into yours as he thought of what to say and a growl leaving him whenever you dared to look away. You were so, so obnoxiously pretty, it made it even harder to focus. Katsuki kept getting distracted by little details, like how your eyes shone and you kept biting your lip.
“You’re so fuckin stupid, ya know that? Of course, I fuckin want you, you’re my alpha- I don’t… I don’t care what other people think anymore, I just want you.” Katsuki’s tone was softer than you expected, and you could only gape at him as a blush quickly rose to your face. You knew he didn’t hate you, but hearing him say that lifted a weight off your shoulders you’d been carrying for who knows how long. The moment passed, all the softness went away as Katsuki leaned down to kiss you, and this time you kissed him back without any reservations.
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