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thenovelartist · 5 years

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Don’t You Think You Skipped a Step?

This is for @rainmaker221 who was one of the winners of my “TV show” contest. It was based of this post.

~ AO3 ~ Fanfiction ~ Support me on Ko-Fi ~

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“I’m going to give him up, Alya.”

Alya snorted. “Yeah, right. You’ve been in love with that boy for five years. There is no way you’re giving him up.”

“I’m serious,” Marinette said, her tone a little too weak for Alya to believe it. “I’m going to give him up.”

Alya shot her a challenging smile. “Girl, you remember the last time you said that? You ended up chasing after his car.”

“I mean it this time,” she argued, tapping her fist on the table. “Really. I’m going to give him up.”

Alya rolled her eyes “Sure. Two weeks, tops.”

…

Week three had rolled around, and Alya was ready to drop dead at the staunch lack of anything Adrien in Marinette’s life.

No plans to make Adrien fall in love with her. Posters, all taken down. Even his schedule, gone. Alya really didn’t know what do to at this point. “Girl, I really don’t know how you’re doing it.”

She shrugged. “I’m just tired of wasting my time with someone who I know isn’t going to recognize me.”

“He would have.” Eventually. After someone took a bat to his head.

Marinette gave Alya a small, pitiful smile. “I doubt it.”

Alya couldn’t do anything more than pull her friend into a tight, comforting hug.

…

A month later, and Marinette was back to her old self. Which was good because Alya hated seeing Marinette so down in the dumps.

But the conversation that was taking place in the seats ahead of them made Alya fear that all that progress was going to disappear rapidly fast.

“She’s amazing, Nino,” Alya heard Adrien say. “Like, she’s perfect.”

“Dude, you’ve got it so bad.”

Adrien simply shrugged and looked off at the front of the classroom with what Alya was going to guess was a love-struck look on his face.

She glanced over at her friend, hoping she didn’t hear the conversation that Adrien had obviously found someone. However, Marinette seemed oblivious to it all as she doodled happily in her sketchbook, meaning Adrien Agreste would live to see another day.

…

It was a rare Saturday that everyone was free, so four teenagers found themselves sitting in a café for lunch.

“Babe, you okay?”

No, Alya was not okay, mostly because she didn’t know what to make of the scene in front of her

“I just have no idea how to impress this girl,” Adrien was saying as he tugged at his hair.

“First, take a breath,” Marinette instructed. “Then you should tell me about her so I know how to help you.”

That only launched Adrien into a rant about who he deemed to be the most incredible woman on the face of the planet.

“Honestly, Nino,” Alya said, looking back at her boyfriend. “I have no idea.”

…

Five months had passed since Marinette had set her foot down and resolved to give up Adrien.

“Girl, I need to get you a new addiction,” Alya teased. “I don’t know what to do with you anymore.”

Marinette giggled.

“I also can’t believe you’re giving him girl advice.”

“He’s hopeless,” Marinette defended with an amused grin. “Like a little lost puppy.”

“No wonder he never noticed you.”

Marinette shrugged. “At least he’s happy.”

“I guess,” Alya relented. “Now, let’s get you happy.”

Alya prided herself on being a great reporter, someone who could put two and two together very easily. However, despite being Marinette’s friend for five years, Alya could not peg that gleam in Marinette’s eye. “Trust me, Alya,” Marinette said, her voice almost—almost—taking on a dreamy quality as she turned back to her sketchbook doodle of… a cat? “I am.”

…

It was the first summer night after graduation, and Marinette was the happiest girl in the world. Oh, not because she was going to her first pick of colleges.

But because the love of her life decided detransform in front of her and propose to her.

How it all started, Marinette couldn’t say for sure. But she remembered being tired of Adrien not noticing her—and after five years, he’d have ample time to see her as a love interest—and ranting to Chat about it. Then somewhere close to that, her superhero partner decided to stop flirting and instead, picked up Adrien’s slack and began treating her the way she wished Adrien would have treated her. Flash forward several months and not wanting to go home after a patrol in favor of spending time with her partner that ended in some pretty memorable kisses goodnight became the new thing.

Now she had a ring on her finger and was going to be called Mrs. Agreste within a few months. She could squeal from the rooftops out of happiness.

However, before that could happen, Marinette and Adrien had one very important matter of business: craft a story of how the best friend duo Marinette and Adrien became engaged seemingly overnight.

She supposed it was easier than introducing someone completely new to everyone and saying she was marrying him. That didn’t mask the fact that Adrien had been mooning over a girl for months and she’d been giving him advice.

However, the irony of her giving him advice on how to woo, well, her was not lost on Marinette.

They agreed to meet up at the park across Marinette’s house. Marinette promised to bring the snacks, so she gathered a picnic basket and blanket and a box full of goodies. She swore to her maman she would bring home the guy she was seeing—Maman was too preceptive for her own good—then scampered out of the house with an excited squeal.

She was quick to arrive at the park, though she could have done it without nearly running in front of a car in the process. Still, she made it in one piece and barely had time to set up the blanket before Adrien swooped her up into his arms. She squeaked but surrendered to his embrace.

“My bugaboo,” he murmured against her hair.

Her heart couldn’t keep calm at the possessiveness in his tone. “My kitty.”

Eventually, they separated, but only so they were able to sit down on the blanket. Adrien didn’t hesitate to place his head in her lap, immediately settling down and letting his eyes close.

Marinette couldn’t help but smile as she looked down at her fiancé. Nor could she resist the urge to run her fingers through his perfect, blonde hair.

He cracked an eye at her, and green caught blue. The world disappeared for a moment.

“What’d I miss?”

Marinette jolted in surprise at her best friend’s voice, one slightly tense. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Marinette was disappointed that Adrien sat up, head disappearing from her lap. However, that thought was quickly put on the backburner as she looked up to lock eyes with Alya.

“Looks like the cat’s out of the bag.”

She could have smacked him for that. And considering the way he shot her a quick smirk that was filled with far too much glee, he knew it, too.

Marinette turned back to Alya, who looked like she was going to pull an explanation out of Marinette one way or another. Painfully, if need be. “Um…” Marinette stuttered out, finding words did not come easily. She held out a finger in a “wait” motion. “I can explain.”

Alya’s glare narrowed on Marinette, though when it suddenly widened and her jaw dropped to the ground, Marinette felt the desperate need to run and hide away in a hole safely out of Alya’s reach. Preferably on the other side of the world. “And just what is on your finger?”

Marinette looked down at her left hand, the one she was holding out.

She hadn’t even had the ring a full 24 hours, yet she was suddenly very angry at the large, glittering stone and gleaming white gold band.

As a reporter, Alya was good at two things: making connections very quickly and jumping to conclusions. In this case, it wasn’t hard, but Marinette was certain Alya made the correct connection in half the usual time. “Girl, unless you’ve been hiding that ring from me, you only just got that last night.”

Curse her inability to shrink into nothing. It would have been better than facing the Alya inquisition with cheeks redder than her Ladybug suit. “Yeah.”

Alya’s gaze bounced like a pinball between her, Adrien, and the ring. “And don’t you think you guys, I don’t know, skipped a step or two?”

Marinette struggled to find the courage to answer that question.

She wasn’t sure if it was better or worse that Adrien answered for her. “What are you talking about?”

The fire that roared to life in Alya’s eyes was scary. “You know, the dating phase.”

“We had that phase.”

How was it possible for Alya to get scarier? She only rose a single brow. “You mean this,” she pointed at the two of them, “has been going on for some time?” The tightness in her tone was unmistakable, meaning Marinette was up to her ears in trouble and it was entirely possible that she would be deaf by the time Alya finished yelling at her.

“Wait…” Alya’s eyes screwed shut for a moment. “What about that other girl, Adrien?”

His brow furrowed. “What other girl?”

“The girl you always talked about,” Alya accused. “The love of your life?”

Adrien was still for a moment, but slowly, he reached out to squeeze Marinette’s knee.

Alya caught the movement, and she placed her hands on canted hips while her expression grew fiercer.

“How long has this been going on?” Alya demanded.

“A few months,” Marinette weakly defended.

“And you’ve been hiding it from me?” Alya asked, her voice loud with shock and… probably hurt. “The co-author of every single ‘Secret Garden’ plan?”

If Adrien was confused, he didn’t show it. Or Marinette couldn’t see it with his face turned toward Alya.

She hoped he never asked.

“I was planning to tell you,” Marinette said. Because she had, but it was hard when there were secret identities that needed to remain secret.

“When you got engaged?” Alya clarified.

“Well, I didn’t think it was going to happen so quickly,” she rambled, her old school habit slamming back full force. “I mean, we fell pretty suddenly.”

“What are you talking about?” Adrien said, turning to look at her. “I’ve been in love with you for years.”

At the confession, Alya literally froze for a second, eyes wide and jaw on the ground. The next second, she was throwing her hands in the air in completely, totally, and utterly exasperated surrender. “I give up!” she cried, spinning on her heel and marching off. “I’m done. I can’t. Alya. Out.”

Marinette bit her lip as she watched her friend go. That was going to be a hard rift to repair, she knew it. She’d hated lying to Alya time and time again, but it had to be done. Maybe some ice cream and a big, fat apology would be a nice place to start.

She looked back at Adrien, who was pouting in confusion. “Was it something I said?”

Despite being bewildered and worried, she sighed at her darling but totally oblivious kitty. “Something like that.”

#miraculous ladybug #fanfiction #alya cesaire #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #hinted LadyNoir #adrienette

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eremji · 6 years

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Thoughts on Infinity War, and Thanos' Motivation

Disclaimer: I'm not a Marvel expert. Some of my information on comic plots was collected from wikis and secondary articles, due to a lack of access to a primary source or the simple inaccuracy of my own memory. I also mostly enjoyed Infinity War, and any criticism herein should not be taken as decrying the whole.

Spoilers behind the cut. Please close your eyes and scroll super fast, block tags, duck and cover, etc. if you’re on mobile, because, seriously, spoilers.

An extremely simplified version of movie production:

From a production standpoint, Iron Man was a huge risk for the studios fronting the money for it. After critical and box office flops from 90s Batman films and other various superhero action flicks, studios typically found comic book movies to underperform in comparison to budgetary requirements for good visuals, making them unattractive. Marvel has taken a large step away from making comic book movies, to making comic book adaptations, because what works on the page doesn’t work in a moving picture.

Marvel Studios’ cinematic success has almost nothing to do with how compelling the source material is – because some of Marvel’s library is pretty much slush pile garbage. This was before your average artist or consumer realized you can get pretty literary while still having cool pictures on a page. They’re valuable because they propelled the comic industry to widespread success, but the source is best examined with a critical eye towards tone deaf and anachronistic viewpoints on race, sexuality, gender, and pretty much everything else. Marvel Studios has done a fairly consistent job of divorcing the cinematic canon from the original medium’s baggage, to which I attribute a large portion of the films’ success in comparison to very lukewarm iterations of DC or X-Men.

As media consumers, we’re accustomed to having a finished product to hold and analyze. When considering story, in terms of plotting and pacing, I personally believe it’s most helpful to compare the scope of the MCU production to be similar to that of a television show, rather than a traditional movie or movie series. It may be startling to know that even very successful television shows, like Breaking Bad or Stranger Things, often don’t even have all the episodes completely written out prior to beginning filming of a season.

Marvel Studios’ movies have been in production for ten years, with many, many different hands in the pot, and earlier scripts don’t always set up the best planting and payoff of character or plot elements later in the continuity. (For visual learners, Lindsay Ellis has a very layman-friendly example using clips from Mad Max: Fury Road.)

You can see where this might start to cause some consistency issues.

Crossover event comics and the necessary sacrifice of emotional development:

For anyone walking in to expecting Avengers: Infinity War to have a lot of character development, I’m very sorry for your loss.

There was never going to be a grand emotional reunion for Steve and Bucky, and there was never going to be whole hours dedicated to bonding and witty bickering and new friendships that weren’t absolutely vital to the plot. That we got things like the Steve-and-Bucky hug, the jealous Star-Lord vs. Thor moments, and Steve introducing himself politely to Groot were for the benefit of the audience more than advancing the plot, which is a huge victory in terms of crushing as much as possible into a theatrical cut.

A film production has a finite amount of screen time to allocate before a movie becomes bloated. When people joke about Infinity War being the most ambitious crossover event, I don’t think some of them realize how on the mark that is from a production standpoint. Hard decisions have to be made between what isn’t vital to advancing plot in a compelling way and what was retained to meet audience expectations. Infinity War often felt like it tried to recapture that Joss Whedon-ish sassy-but-kinda-flat comedy from the first Avengers, and that meant punchlines for jokes sometimes land at emotionally inappropriate times because characters just don’t have cinematic space for witty banter between shooting aliens and losing everyone they ever cared about.

There’s a difference in author-audience expectations of what’s important in these team-up movies, and also gaps between fans actively participating in fandom because they love the characters and casual moviegoers looking for a blockbuster. It all comes down to how much each party in the creative transaction is willing to settle for. Traditionally, Marvel has set up the character-driven plots and subplots in individual comics with occasional crossover cameos for a few issues when another character or baddie is relevant to the plot. The large crossover events, like Civil War, Contest of Champions, or Infinity are almost always plot-heavy and character-light.

This is so much easier in comic book format, where multiple series can be coordinated in regular, paced releases, and different comic issues may happen parallel or directly before/after the event crossovers. Movies take a significantly larger amount of time to produce, through pre-production, filming, post-production, marketing, and distribution.

A brief (I’m serious, they’ve been making comics since the 1939) explication of source material:

One of the largest disconnects for me, as a fan of both the comics and the movies, was the change in Thanos’ motivation, but not his mission. For those who aren't aware of the origins of his character, he essentially wants to murder people to impress a girl – Mistress Death, to be specific. He wants to kill half of all life in the universe so that he can be her equal and win her affection.

Dorkly did a pretty solid breakdown of some of Thanos’ Infinity Gauntlet story and the innate misogynistic slant of his character, including comic panels from the original source material, that paints comic!Thanos an internet Nice Guy™. (Feel free to skim the article; it's a bit slow to get to the point.) Perusing the comic panels, you can see Thanos is hella into negging and is spiteful when Mistress Death shows interest in another dude (spoilers: it’s Deadpool). He clearly believes love is possession, and if he can’t have what he wants, then, good golly, no one can.

He’s also really off the rails – dubbed the Mad Titan even before his objectification mega crush on a badass corpse with a wicked bod – and is personally responsible for destroying Titan. He’s not a villain that believes he’s the hero, and this shift away from his motivation being dangerous-and-horrible to dangerous-and-misguided casts the first shadow on the premise.

My (very personal) opinion on the execution:

MCU essentially played keep away with some of the more supernatural elements of the source material, at least until introducing Dr. Strange. In doing so they had to construct Thanos’ motivation for a comic-book-inspired task out of whole cloth. There is no Mistress Death. Secondary characters that were discrete entities are often pulling double duty*.

(*Or triple. See also: Bucky Barnes, who is wearing the backstory of Captain America's gay best friend Arnie Roth and now White Wolf. If you were previously unaware of this factoid, please enjoy the irony that Marvel’s biggest pro-American propaganda piece had an openly gay best friend circa early 80s but Civil War ham-fistedly had to work in that awkward-as-fuck smooch between Steve and Peggy Carter’s hot young romantic surrogate niece.)

So, okay, they have to reinvent Thanos, who we've only seen in a handful of post-credit scenes and vicariously learned, through Loki in the first Avengers movie and then Gamora in Guardians, is a conqueror and also really Bad News™.

I buy everything so far. And why not? Black Panther made me love Killmonger and his rage, and the parallels to contemporary issues made him fairly empathetic without highlighting that his perspective was necessarily the ‘correct’ one. Similarly, Spider-Man: Homecoming’s villain, Vulture, was believable in the sort of suffering everyman-turned-desperate way, highlighting the fallout of the Space Invaders vs. Avengers destruction without suggesting the audience should root for Vulture.

In general, I am on board for these movies going straight for the throat on the big baddies of the comic universe because movie production is lengthy, expensive, and time-consuming. Dear Marvel Studios, Give me Avengers vs. Dr. Doom. Love, Me.

A villain can be built up over the course of a single movie (or two). Armed with this optimism, and heartened by recent Marvel Studios successes in characterization, I walked into Infinity War expecting as much gratuitous violence, universe-cleansing genocide, and genuine fear of Thanos as I could possibly expect from something Disney-adjacent.

I knew people were going to die. Let me say – there was no way to spoil this for me. The Infinity Gauntlet comic series starts with half the universe dying. I expected there to be ‘casualties’ and even though the Russo bros said that this wasn’t two parts of the same movie, it’s certainly serial. At minimum, I was expecting Thanos bent on conquering the cosmos, worshiping at the altar of death in the abstract, if not groveling for an inevitable-cosmic-force-turned unattainable woman.

And yet. And yet.

We got the purple version of the Kool-Aid man with some seriously unaddressed parent-child issues (mirrored in Tony Stark’s loss of Peter Parker) and a wholly unimaginative motivation. I won’t go too far much into the movie’s alarming efforts at framing Thanos as a sympathetic character despite his genocidal and horribly abusive tendencies, because I am A) not an expert at identifying film technique and B) the push for Thanos to be an empathetic villain has been analyzed elsewhere.

Phenomenal, limitless cosmic power and all you want to do is break shit? For all the immaturity of it, Thanos’ comic book motivation was more believable.

To those arguing that the his motivations in the movie are predicated off of him being the Mad Titan and therefore not rooted in logic: The film did not explicitly plant the idea – except in the way that we know genocide is bad due to an innate sense of morality – that he was unhinged and power-mad, nor did they really give the audience any payoff.

Instead, we get, ‘I don’t really want to do this, but I must.’

There was a point where I started wondering why the hell he wasn’t just being steadily roasted by the Avengers for not receiving some sort of basic education in the evils of wealth disparity and resource distribution.

As an audience member, was I meant to believe this incredibly powerful entity at the center of a massive fleet, accompanied by a group of talented and sycophantic followers, couldn’t think of a better way to bring ‘balance’ to the universe?

Perhaps Thanos’ justification is simply the conceit of the way the universe operates, required to propel a plot forward. However, this is also poorly explained. There are many unanswered questions: Why is it a given that killing half the universe will create balance? What does balance look like? Is this state permanent or is it a routine, necessary evil in order to stop entropy? Is balance a socioeconomic state, or does it have some greater cosmological significance? We know that Titan fell after rejecting Thanos’ extreme solution, but would the population have actually endured and flourished if his plan had been carried out?

For a movie that did so well at handling a cast so phenomenally large as the one involved in its production, Infinity War really didn’t go in very hard on selling Thanos. I would have been perfectly happy if Marvel Studios had taken the risk to lean in hard on making the movie Thanos-centric, given Thanos even more screen time to develop his character, motives, and the rules of the universe – and then make Avengers 4 about, you know, the actual avenging.

Parting notes:

What are we left with?

Infinity War gifted us with some badass action clips, a fairly jarring death performance by Tom Holland, Cheerful Goatherd Bucky Barnes, and emotionally traumatizing bubbles. It never really sells the conundrum it sets up via Thanos. You'll never hear me insist a peice of art or entertainment is required to carry some sort of social commentary or moral message, but I feel like this could have been, tonally, a vastly different film had it considered the core of Thanos' motivations the same way it considered Vulture's or Killmonger's.

Also, where the hell is Adam Warlock (set up at the end of GotG: Vol. 2; revisit planting and payoff) to shit talk Thanos’ lack of villainous veracity when we need him?

#infinity war spoilers #infinity war #thanos #spoilers #seriously hella spoilers #mcu #marvel comics #infinity gauntlet #there was whiskey involved in writing this #so many links #thanos' motives #review #explication #meta

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funnythingshere0-blog · 6 years

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Sorry Cops, You Don't Get to Be Funny Online

New Post has been published on https://funnythingshere.xyz/sorry-cops-you-dont-get-to-be-funny-online/

Sorry Cops, You Don't Get to Be Funny Online

On Sunday, July 15, in a seaside city in one of the most southern parts of New Jersey, a pug named Bean escaped from her home. How she broke free is unknown, but as most dogs do on the loose, she wandered, leashless and alone, trespassing on lawns that were not her own. She traveled from backyard to backyard, presumably from cocktail party to cocktail party, like that Cheever character crossing his neighborhood swimming in pools. A vacationer, spotting the meandering pet, phoned the police department, and the local cops, in an attempt to track down the owner, then did what local cops seem to be doing more and more of: They posted something they thought was funny on the internet about it. The status went viral.

What they put up was “pug mug,” a.k.a. #pugmug, a “pugshot”—or, if you’d rather not deal in puns, a farcical mugshot of the goofy-looking canine.

Sure, it’s fair to think: how cute, so tongue-in-cheek, what a clever way to track down Bean’s human. And how silly, too, that the “bail” was paid entirely in cookies?! Bad girl, indeed!

Yes, everyone appreciates a solid laugh. And sarcasm, irony, and good cheer are generally great things. This is especially true of life online, which can be especially toxic. But the fuzz should not have this luxury. The fuzz should not be funny on social media, because the fuzz are not (and, again, should not be) funny people. Particularly in the face of Black Lives Matter and when the public’s distrust in the institution is so deservedly high. It is a serious job, and these are serious times. Not to mention, their attempts at humor, uh, often badly miss the mark.

Case in point: Take Britain’s Merseyside Police, who saw no issue participating in an online exchange about soccer and encouraging a string of rape jokes.

Or the blue bloods in Cheyenne, Wyoming, who have turned mocking petty crimes—in addition to Valentine’s Day tips and not-so-hilarious takes on the drunk dudes they arrest chewing on car seats—into real hobbies. (Some locals appreciate the department’s attempts at levity. They are wrong.)

Or, perhaps most notably, the Wyoming, Minnesota, Police Department (yes, there’s a city called “Wyoming” in Minnesota), who last April shared a series of “stoner traps” on 4/20, one of which featured an officer brandishing a net and approaching a neat pile of snack food and video games. Get it? Potheads love Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and Grand Theft Auto V, and are always susceptible to them, particularly when they’re neatly placed side by side in a park.

Granted, as ABC Action News notes, they did eventually include a sentence about substance-abuse resources, but as Mashable argued at the time, the sentiment is moot. The cannabis laws in the State of Minnesota aren’t exactly lax, and a bunch of public servants, whose duties involve fining and arresting people who want to spark up a joint, setting up farcical cages consisting of cardboard boxes and Nacho Cheese Doritos seems a bit sinister—if not, in the very least, entirely tone-deaf. You really want to make the citizens of Minnesota chuckle? Legalize the fucking pot.

For people like me—the losers, the average, the down-trodden—humor can allow us to cope. But for the powerful, it’s greatest asset—the obvious thing it achieves, above all else—is how it allows them to obfuscate. It’s how, say, Reagan can simultaneously be adored and an arms dealer. Or why fast-food chains use their “savage Twitter” accounts to distract you from what it is they actually serve.

In other words: Dogs have always been funny. They don’t need any help from the cops.

Follow Alex Norcia on Twitter.

Source: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/3kybkn/sorry-cops-you-dont-get-to-be-funny-online

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lindyhunt · 6 years

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Everything That Upset the Internet This Week

What is the web-o-sphere angry about this week? A celebrity friendship, a Marvel superhero’s face and a tone deaf sexy Halloween costume. Here’s everything you need to know.

Drake and Millie Bobby Brown are texting pals

THE STORY: On the Emmy’s red carpet, 14-year-old Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown chatted with Access Hollywood about her relationship with 31-year-old Toronto rapper, Drake. “We just texted each other and he was like, ‘I miss you so much’ and I was like, ‘I miss you more!'” she said, before adding that Drake sometimes offers her boy advice.

Millie Bobby Brown revealed to @AccessOnline that she and Drake text about boys: "I love him. We just texted each other the other day and he was like 'I miss you so much,' and I was like 'I miss you more,' he's great.” pic.twitter.com/UVBO0u97XD

— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) September 18, 2018

THE REACTION:

Ok but Drake texting Millie Bobbi Brown about boys is very gross pic.twitter.com/IXrNkfj2X4

— teen dad – free palestine! (@colourpill) September 18, 2018

Millie Bobby Brown is innocent and probably has crush, but Drake has no business texting her "I miss you so much"

— 🌹 FERRARI SHEPPARD (@stopbeingfamous) September 19, 2018

when we found out drake, 31, is texting millie bobby brown, 14, talking bout "i miss you so much" pic.twitter.com/YkPdIdg4EK

— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) September 18, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Out of context, I think this seems totally fine. When you remember that Drake is dating 18 year old Bella Harris, it makes his close friendship with Millie Bobby Brown a little less cute and a little more creepy. But hey, who are we to say? What do we really know? Brown took to Instagram on Thursday to vent her frustrations with the controversy that’s sparked on social media surrounding her and Drake’s texting. “Why u gotta make a lovely friendship ur headline?” she wrote. “U guys are weird… for real.”

She continued, “I’m lucky to have people in the business extend their time to help me further my career and offer their wisdom and guidance. I’m very blessed to have amazing people in my life. U don’t get to choose that for me. It’s nice to have people who understand what I do. Now get back to talking about real problems in this world other than my friendships… jeez.”

Captain Marvel promos were photoshopped to make Brie Larson smile

THE STORY: Good Morning America debuted of the first trailer for Brie Larson’s Captain Marvel this week, and it didn’t take long for Internet trolls to begin editing her face to fit more conventional ideals of femininity.

THE REACTION:

Someone legit edited #Captainmarvel face so she could “smile more” and ppl in the comments are saying this looks better.

This is fucking wild, no one did this to Thor or Captain America. Y’all don’t want women to have any agency. https://t.co/8CoxPlIqcw

— valerie (vza) complex (@ValerieComplex) September 19, 2018

I'm not RTing this asshole because it's what he wants. But it seems this dude's big issue with Captain Marvel is that the pretty lady won't just smile and look pretty like a good girl.#StopTellingCaptainMarvelToSmile pic.twitter.com/zxFCYxcUgJ

— Geek Girl Diva (@geekgirldiva) September 19, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: At this point, Angry Men on the Internet™ are to be expected. Whether it’s Wonder Woman, Ghostbusters, Ocean’s 8 or Star Wars: The Force Awakens, these dudes just can’t stand to see a woman kicking ass, and bringing in the box office big bucks. Male privilege is a powerful drug, and it’s hella petty—especially from behind a computer screen. These sexist losers can try, but they will in no way tarnish Captain Marvel’s historic moment.

You can now buy a sexy Handmaid’s Tale costume

THE STORY: In anticipation of Halloween 2018, Yandy.com is selling a little red dress with a white bonnet, calling it the “Brace Red Maiden Costume.” The outfit, which quite clearly resemble the uniforms worn by those in forced child-bearing servitude in Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, are described on the site as: “An upsetting dystopian future has emerged where women no longer have a say. However, we say be bold and speak your mind in this exclusive Brace Red Maiden costume, featuring a red mini dress, a matching cloak with an attached hood, and a white bonnet headpiece. (Pantyhose not included.)”

THE REACTION:

Yes, this is what the handmaid's tale was missing – more leg https://t.co/7A6vI7Vpnd

— Amy Louise Doherty (@amyloudoherty) September 21, 2018

I am honestly surprised it took until the 2nd season of Handmaid’s Tale for this to happen. Also, I am going to go away now. Probably forever. https://t.co/HuHL7PUdZP

— YA Wednesdays (@YAWednesdays) September 21, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Appalling in its tone deafness… or genius in its irony? I almost like the idea of a Handmaid’s Tale spinoff that sees Offred & Co. taking back power, reclaiming their sexuality and stomping on the Gilead fascists in a pair of six-inch-heels. But I’m not entirely sure that this is the idea Yandy is selling for $64.95 — even if they claim it is. (After all, they have an entire “sexy Indian costume” section, which is a whole other level of problematic.) Here’s the apology that the brand offered after the backlash.

pic.twitter.com/0w5NQS438g

— Yandy.com (@Yandy) September 21, 2018

I wonder what Maggie thinks about all this.

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recentnews18-blog · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/sorry-cops-you-dont-get-to-be-funny-online/

Sorry Cops, You Don't Get to Be Funny Online

What they put up was “pug mug,” a.k.a. #pugmug, a “pugshot”—or, if you’d rather not deal in puns, a farcical mugshot of the goofy-looking canine.

Sure, it’s fair to think: how cute, so tongue-in-cheek, what a clever way to track down Bean’s human. And how silly, too, that the “bail” was paid entirely in cookies?! Bad girl, indeed!

Case in point: Take Britain’s Merseyside Police, who saw no issue participating in an online exchange about soccer and encouraging a string of rape jokes.

In other words: Dogs have always been funny. They don’t need any help from the cops.

Follow Alex Norcia on Twitter.

Source: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/3kybkn/sorry-cops-you-dont-get-to-be-funny-online

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