I was on a date with Ed Sheeran. For some reason I believed he had bad intensions, so I stole his car and kidnapped him before he could kidnap me. I was definitely driving far past speed limit through the town with a tied and gagged guy in the passenger seat.
To this day I cannot listen to his music with straight face.
Also, we would really appreciate it if you could prominently refer to it as an 'eHit'.
Crossword Constructors [Explained]
Transcript Under the Cut
[Cueball is sitting at a table and typing on his laptop. White Hat and Hairbun are standing behind him and looking. The following is written above the characters:] Dear Ms. Swift, Mr. Sheeran, Ms. Minaj, Ms. Grande, and Mr. Weeknd, We are a group of crossword puzzle constructors, and we would like to suggest some titles for your future albums:
I love Ed Sheeran's shape of you because it's so so recklessly allo that it feels like it can't possibly be real, it's like a fairytale, I mean can you possibly imagine saying "let's not talk too much" and just liking someone for their body? that's crazy that's like seeing a unicorn in the wild but much more hysterical it makes me laugh every time
Ed Sheeran: Grab on my waist and put that body on me
Me: *envisions two football linebackers charging into each other and tackling and concussing each other*
Ed Sheeran: here is my latest album in which I write about losing my best friend young, learning my wife has cancer while she’s pregnant with our second child, and being actively suicidal. I’ll be releasing it right after I wrap up this court case where I’m having to defend my integrity as a songwriter and artist and everything I’ve built my life and career on. also I had to miss my grandmother’s funeral back home so I could be present at the mandatory court proceedings.
Twitter.com all week: haha I hope Ed Sheeran loses in court so he’ll stop releasing bad music and give retail workers peace! What album is he releasing next, “Quadratic Equation”? Hahaha! Such an original joke no one has ever heard before :) I’m soooo funny!! :)
My sister was introducing me to her new boyfriend, and then he turned out to be Ed Sheeran, and I had to sit through an entire uncomfortable meal pretending to respect Ed Sheeran.