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#how do i tag this lmfao

sphericalbee · 1 month

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guys how do i ask a girl out this is so sad jsdghfkjh

there's this girl i was in class w last year and i always see her when i leave class and her outfits r sooo cute but idfk what if she likes GUYS

#gay #HELP #lesbian #experienced gays help #dating advice #how do i tag this LMFAO #for lesbian visibility month u should all help me get a girlfriend i think

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luminouslotuses · 7 months

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who’s gonna make the crack web weave for tommy’s fanfic. i have no idea what it would entail but i think it would be great personally

#how do i tag this lmfao #tommyinnit #my ted talk

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riacte · 1 year

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does anyone read/watch noragami? is it just me or does kofuku and daikoku give out stress and iskall energy. like “woman who seems cute and sweet is actually completely unhinged” and “guy who seems mean and gruff is actually a sweetheart”

#how do i tag this lmfao #iskall85 #stressmonster101 #Noragami

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almightycrisprat · 3 months

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edited a picture for my gcse art compositions. made my head bald. sent it to a friend. apparently i look like vegeta 😭

#help me #why #how do i tag this lmfao

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zhuoyiyun · 4 months

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“Flash-banged,” he raged. “I got flash-banged in real life. Ha-ha, very funny!” The next time he got his hands on Shu or Luca, he would shake them so hard their teeth would rattle, and they’d be unable to talk it out. Some prank– glitter in a letter! When he got up, it was to a shocked Ike, as if a deer in headlights, mouth agape. A fly could’ve flown inside. “Don't tell me– it's got in my hair?” (Dear reader, if it was merely glitter, this story wouldn't be here.)

Rating: E

tags: Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, PWP, Gender or Sex Swap, Female Vox Akuma, D/S Undertones

Summary: Vox gets turned into a girl for twenty-four hours. He's really disappointed as he's just reunited with his boyfriend – how can they do without a night of passion? Ike merely sees it as another way to spice up the bedroom.

#ikeakuma #vox akuma #ike eveland #ikeakuma fic #fem vox akuma #fem vox #my writing #fanfic #ao3 #gender or sex swap #smut #how do i tag this lmfao #luxiem fic #nijisanjien #nijisanji en #nijisanji fic #slash fic #pwp

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captainswhore · 2 months

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you see price sitting like this when you walk into a room post mission- and you know exactly what it is he needs.

he's licking at you and holding your thighs open with his rough palms- and you can't take it. his calluses and his beard and the fabric of his sleeves are rubbing at your legs just right- but not enough for you to lose focus on his hot tongue rubbing on you and in you and you've never been wetter in your LIFE.

his only problem? you're still moving too much. he can't reach where he wants to inside of you because you keep wiggling out of his way. his hands want to touch you everywhere- not just hold your thighs still. this is when he begins to squeeze at you everywhere, and tell you to rest your thighs on his shoulders.

"b-but price- hhnngh ohmygod- i c-can't. they're too big. thighs are too big"

you whine at the loss of contact, but then you look down and see him staring at you with massive pupils and a wet face. "lovie- my shoulders are broad for a reason. rest your thighs on em and i swear they'll have enough room"

and you listen, and you're crushing his ears with your thighs, and he's never been happier. the next time you look down? he's rutting into the mattress and you see his hips stutter when he groans into you and your vision goes white

(@chamomiletealeaf and i had SUCH A HORNY discussion about this and she told me to post it so here i am- and also omg photo creds to her. we've gotta reign it in lmfao)

#if only you guys could see our chats. they're so so filthy #shout out to the first friend i've made on this lil side blog of mine- bless up!#i still don't know how to tag SHIT #but imma try my best!!#john price drabble #john price x reader #john price x reader drabble #john price smut #john price x reader smut #oh god how else do i do this this feels so awkward and weird #cod smut #cod x reader #cod drabble #task force 141 #task force 141 x reader #task force 141 smut #uuhhhh #yeah that works enough #im gonna need to be someone's smut protege or something so i can learn LMFAO

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saotoru · 1 year

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how they eat it

dante, nero, vergil x fem reader

tw cum eating

dante

dante is sloppy. he likes it filthy and messy. the sight of your sticky cunt covered with his cum drives him so fucking feral that he lowers his mouth onto you and laps it up, moaning at how good you both taste. he knows you’re still sensitive from your last orgasm, overstimulated by the way you squeal his name and pull on his hair, but dante doesn’t care. he needs to feel you cum on his face. he wants it so bad that he whines into your cunt, slipping two fingers inside you while his lips wrap around your clit, the sensitivity bringing you close to another orgasm.

“fuck, you taste so good, angel… tastes so good when you’re covered in me. cmon princess, squirt for me, please make a mess on me…”

a hand comes to press down on your lower abdomen and that’s enough to send you hurtling over the edge, all the pressure building up finally releasing. you shake violently while dante fucks you through your orgasm, but he’s got you, licking up all you have to offer. he pulls back for a moment to admire your pussy glistening with saliva, cum, and squirt, smoothing his hands over your thighs. “good job, pretty girl… give me another one, yeah?”

nero

nero is sweet, so gentle that it’s almost teasing. he’s nervous peeling off your panties to admire your pretty pussy, shiny with arousal. he’s so awestruck that he forgets he’s just staring and his warm breath tickles, making you close your thighs instinctively, a bit shyly.

“no, no,” he says as he gently pries your legs open once more. his eyes meet yours. “you’re so gorgeous.”

“nero…”

the whine in your voice is so cute that nero just can’t help but give you what you want. he presses a kiss at the junction of your thigh, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on your knees. “i know, baby.”

he loves to kiss everywhere first, softly, over both thighs and all over your pussy. he wants to show you how much you mean to him. it makes you squirm in anticipation with how slow he’s being, how ticklish his lips feel, that you almost whine again before finally feeling him press a long kiss to your clit. nero rewards you for your patience by making out with your sensitive clit, the moans it earns him spurring him on, his tongue parting your folds. he can’t get enough of your reaction, entranced by the way your hips twitch with every flick of his tongue. you’re so cute when you grind yourself against his face like this, that he can’t help but hump into the mattress, getting himself off to being used to make you cum.

vergil

vergil is actually feral. for someone who prides himself on composure and self control, he’s rough when he eats you out. he can’t help it. his burning desire to taste you is so overwhelming that all he can do is shove his face further into your pussy. he grips the soft flesh of your thighs hard and pins them to the bed, leaving you unable to squirm away from his relentless tongue. it’s too much, your clit still sore from your third orgasm but vergil isn’t done. he needs more. “your taste…” his voice is a growl, borderline inhuman. “it’s driving me insane.”

the nails digging into the flesh of your thighs become sharper, and you realize that he’s close to dting. the realization has your legs accidentally clamping around his head but vergil growls, large hands forcing you open and holding you still.

“enough. take it.”

you can’t interrupt him, not when he’s like this, not when he needs to have his fill of you. he mouths at your pussy, pressing his face into you as much as he can. slick coats his face, tongue, nose, everywhere, filling his senses with you, but it’s still not enough. he gives your clit a rough, hard lick, pleased how you writhe and whine beneath him. vergil loves how vulnerable and pliant you are, letting him make you cum again and again until he’s satisfied.

#i forgor how to write #LOOK AWAY #plz do not perceive this #dmc x reader #dante x reader #vergil x reader #idgaf if this even shows up in the tags lol #I just needed to post this so I can stop re editing it lmfao #i still hate it and am not happy w it LMAOO

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unisongakikoeru · 3 months

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imagine your f/o holding your hand, and thinking to themself, "their hands are so soft..."

proship/comship dni

#I DONT KNOW HWO TO ELABORATE THIS ONE. ITS JUST. YEAG. imagine.#writing #🐯#fuck how do you tag again #self ship #self ship imagine #self ship community #self shipping #imagine your f/o #q #i always queue my writing bc im a coward lmfao

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alllgator-blood · 1 month

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narinder wondering if he should revive the lamb after they died to the same anchordeep sniper enemy 500 times in a row (they didn't know you're supposed to hit the projectiles back at it):

working on something incredibly stupid in capcut, I'm NOT an animator by ANY means but that nermal trash can video going around a while back still makes me laugh every single time and I wanted to try something new. I only have experience with literal windows movie maker and a 2013 cracked copy of sony vegas so while I'm hoping to get this done today, tomorrow is more likely

#wip #cult of the lamb #cotl #narinder #lambert #do I need to tag this as death #death cw #it's like cartoon death but I don't wanna jumpscare anyone with a visibly dead lamb lmfao #ALSO HOW DO SO MANY PEOPLE STRUGGLE WITH THAT ENEMY IT'S PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD??

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mrzombielover · 3 months

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- slow ride ch1

feat. sinner!adam x fem!hotel worker!reader

series masterlist | next chapter

warnings: NSFW, enemies to fuckbuddies, adam and reader both suck, unhealthy relationships, size kink oooops, light degradation

a/n: oh my god this is so self indulgent. something is fr wrong with me bc all my favorite men are irrevocably fucked up and toxic and emotionally damaged and would treat me like shit teehee

wc: 2.2k

“You took my shame and you took my pride / And now you gonna take me for a slowride”

When even Charlie is trepidatious about checking someone in to the hotel, you know they’ve fucked up bad.

Adam had shown up, tail between his legs, admitting something about how he’s “desperate enough to try anything,” even this “stupid delusional humiliating hotel.”

Charlie, who’s more like an angel than Adam ever was, had ultimately decided that he could stay. After a lengthy and heated discussion, she’d reminded the group that the hotel’s policy states that everyone deserves a chance at redemption, regardless of the sins they’ve committed. Considering he killed your friend, you thought that was bullshit, but it’s Charlie’s hotel at the end of the day, and you’re just along for the ride.

You like Charlie, which is why you put up with having Adam around. She’s a good person- genuinely, deep down. There’s no hidden motives in her actions. You’ve not met many good people in your life, so she’s won your respect, even if you have your doubts about the hotel’s premise.

But for as much as you love her, you briefly questioned her sanity when she asked you to keep a special eye on Adam.

“…and how exactly is that the job of treasury secretary?” You deadpan.

“Wellll…” Charlie trails off, looking away for a moment. “It isn’t really. Buuut what if I was asking as a favor, for your friend?” She clasps her hands together, giving you a smile. You have to avert your eyes from the hopeful look on her face before your resolve cracks.

“No way in hell,” You say quickly.

“Please!”

“No,”

“Pleaseee!”

You bite your lip as you think. He’s obnoxious, yes, but what’s really the worst that could happen? You close your eyes and sigh.

“…you owe me one,”

You regret accepting every day. Nobody got along with Adam. Well, nobody except for Nifty, who seemed thrilled to have a real bad boy staying in the hotel. You, however, got along with him the least of all.

For someone who’d come to the hotel in his time of need- who was in no position to ask for anything other than forgiveness- Adam sure has a smartass mouth. It seems Charlie just wants to give you a brain aneurysm, that’s why she gave you this job. Even if that wasn’t her goal, that’s certainly the stage you’re approaching, because fighting with Adam everyday is 100% going to make you pop a blood vessel.

You can’t help it. Something about him- the way he acts, the forced proximity, just gets under your skin, makes your eye twitch. He should be groveling, begging for forgiveness, putting his heart and soul into bettering himself, yet all he does is bitch and moan. Constantly complaining would be one thing, hell’s full of whiners, but he also feels the need to voice every thought he’s ever had, which often includes insults and snide remarks about those around him. You’ve never been one to take that shit- though, nobody at the hotel really does. It seems to be much worse with you two, specifically, though.

The problem comes in because, as much as you hate to admit it, you might sometimes occasionally have some things in common with him. No, you’re not quite as loud or crude or obnoxious, you don’t generally insult people for fun, but if someone deserves it?

You’ve tore into people for way less than murdering your friend, showing up on your doorstep and being a pain in your ass 24/7, especially if you’re in a particularly shitty mood. Reduced people to tears for mildly inconveniencing you, having an annoying voice, wasting food, etc etc… all of which Adam does.

Generally, you’re apathetic to what goes on around you, especially at the hotel. You’re fed, don’t have to pay rent, and can pretty much do whatever you want, so dealing with the annoying, traumatized, dramatic residents and staff is a fair trade off in your eyes. Adam should, in theory, be no different than the rest of them to you. So you cannot, for the life of you, figure out what about him makes him so much worse than the rest.

You just try not to think about him as much as possible. But when you ignore him, he just seems to get worse.

“Jesus, you don’t think it’s a bit early to start drinking?”

You mentally groan as you hear his voice, avoiding eye contact as you crack open the bottle.

“I mean, Isn’t this shithole supposed to be for rehabilitation?” You can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he opens the fridge.

“Why don’t you focus on your own rehab first, dick? Been weeks now and you’re still an asshole,” You snap, before taking a swig of your beer. He shrugs, grabbing the orange juice from the fridge and placing it on the counter. He walks past where you’re leaning on the counter to get a glass.

“I mean, damn, you didn’t even try today, huh?”He laughs.

“Why are you pickin’ a fight with me right now?” You raise your voice a little, exasperated and too hungover to deal with this.

“oh, uh, i dunno… i’m bored?” He shrugs again, looking over to you with a self satisfied smile. You groan in frustration, then sigh, forcing yourself to keep it together.

“…and you wonder why your wives left you,” you mumble with a roll your eyes, turning to quickly leave the kitchen. you don’t see his face, but judging from the sound of a crash and footsteps quickly following you into the hallway, you hit a nerve. oh, god, here we go…

“you fucking junkie bitch!” he yells after you as you stomp up the stairs.

“you’re proving my point right now!” you say over your shoulder.

“Like you have room to talk? Let’s bring up your love life, huh?!”

“oh my god shut up!” Angel yells through the door as you pass his room. “Every fuckin’ morning with you two!”

Adam ignores him, continuing to rant as he follows closely behind you, every degrading name he can think of spilling from his lips.

“…fucking whore cunt- whose not even fucking listening to me!” he says as you turn into your room. you turn, attempting to slam the door, but he sticks his foot in the gap and grabs the door, shoving it back open.

“what in the fuck is your problem today?!” you yell.

“it’s you, bitch!”

“oh my god- how do you care about anything this much? Seriously, it’s not that deep!”

you jump a little as he suddenly slaps the beer bottle out of your hands, the glass shattering loudly and the leftover beer soaking your socks. your jaw drops, outraged, and you can’t help the reflex to reach up and smack the side of his head.

“ow!” he yelps, and you raise your fists to hit him again, when-

“you- fucking bitch-!” he shouts. you cry out in surprise as he grabs your wrists and yanks you with surprising ease, shoving you roughly into the wall behind you.

theres a struggle, both grunting with the strain of pushing against each other as Adam wrestles to keep the upper hand. You go to knee him, but he moves quicker, slotting one of his legs between your own and pressing his body against yours to pin you completely against the wall.

then, something changes. he pauses, the close proximity seems to have finally registered in his brain. his eyes widen and you pause too, both panting, faces inches apart. his grip loosens, and a flicker of confusion crosses his features.

“wait, what’s-“

“shut up,” you snap suddenly. before you even realize what you’re doing, your hands are on his chest, and you’re shoving him towards your bed.

“take off your shirt,” you command as the back of his knees hit the mattress and he’s falling backwards. he quickly does as you say, looking up at you with wide eyes as you straddle him and rip your own shirt off as well. he mumbles a nice when he sees you’re not wearing a bra. you reach to tug off the sweatpants you had on, and as soon as you can kick them away Adam’s hands are on your waist and flipping you over. He hurriedly rips off the rest of his clothes before he’s back on you, leaning down to eagerly press kisses down your neck. you have to tilt your head to make room for the horns now permanently attached to his head, and you think of the irony of this situation.

the sound of fabric ripping followed immediately by two of his fingers finding your clit makes you gasp. you bite back a whimper as he begins to rub rough and sloppy circles on your clit. the pleasure doesn’t last long before he’s pulling his hand back, only to shove a finger inside your cunt quickly, and you gasp again. being so unprepared, the stretch burns a bit. fuck, has he always had such big hands? he’s gentle at first, as he works the single finger in and out of you, and once the pain subsides, he quickly adds a second one.

“Oh, fuck,” you can’t help the curse that slips past your lips, and before long you’re rocking your hips against his hand. his movements are rushed and sloppy, impatient as he stretches you out. he chuckles dryly, and you shoot him a glare.

once again, before long, he’s pulling away, and grabbing you by the shoulders to make you sit up with him. you whine involuntarily at the loss of contact, and the cocky bastard laughs again.

“So impatient, babe,” He grins.

“Shut up,” You say again, pushing him so that he’s sitting up against the bed frame. You crawl over to him, and straddle his lap. His hands find your ass, groping it roughly while you grab the base of his cock and align the tip with your entrance.

You both gasp in unison when you swiftly lower yourself to take his full length. A strangled moan escapes from your lips and you let your head fall forward to rest on his shoulder. Eyes squeezed shut, you wait so you can adjust to his size. Seriously, how had you never noticed how big he was before now? Prematurely, Adam angles his hips and suddenly thrusts up into you, making you cry out in pain and pleasure.

“Oh you like that, bitch? Huh?” He says teasingly, running his hands up and down your back before moving his hips again.

“You have seriously got to learn to be quiet,” You retort through gritted teeth, reaching up to pull his hair from the roots. He lets out a groan, followed by a more pathetic whine as you begin to move on his length.

It must be all the pent up emotion, because you’re very quickly unable to speak beyond a few curses and wanton moans. Adam however, can’t seem to stop talking. Mumbling about how good you feel- for a whore, how he didn’t think you’d be so tight, how you’re so fucking sexy he wishes he’d done this sooner.

“Ugh, Adam- shut up!” You groan as you move desperately. He whines as you pull his hair again for emphasis, biting his lip as you feel his hips snap up into yours.

“Oh, god-“ You’re squealing, back arching as you can feel your whole body tense. You’re on top, but as you grow more limp, he’s holding you upright as he roughly fucks into you. “I’m close!” You warn, and it comes out a strangled sob.

You’re so, so close. Euphoria clouds your brain, and collapse onto him as he continues to hold you up to thrust into you.

You fall backwards, and Adam follows, caging you underneath him as he chases his own release now.

“oh- fuck- don’t stop!” You’re practically screaming as your orgasm crashes over you, and you wrap your arms around and claw at Adam desperately, fingernails leaving marks on his fleshy back. You only faintly register the breathless laugh he lets out at your state as he now pounds into you.

He slams into you with an intensity that forces the air out of your lungs, and even Adam can’t form thoughts or speak anymore.

“Oh, fu-uuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god,” He can’t believe the noises that are coming from him, but he also can’t find it in himself to care when you feel this good. You’re so sensitive, and still tight from your previous climax, and he can feel your pulse in the walls of your cunt as you clench around him.

Pleasure quickly turns to overstimulation, and you moan his name again, reaching up to pull at his hair, horns, wings, anything, as tears begin to prick at your eyes. Hearing you moan his name, seeing the look on your face, knowing he’s the one doing this to you is what he needed to send him over the edge.

“o-oh my god-“ he groans, hips stuttering as he presses his body as close to yours as possible, spilling his cum deeply inside of you with an actual moan.

He stays still for a moment, both of your breathing labored, sweat making your hair stick to your foreheads and necks, but you stay holding eachother. While both your brains are still fuzzy, thoughts muddled from the aftershocks, he takes a hand up and wipes your hair away from your face, and the tears from your eyes.

Eventually, he sits up and pulls out of you, rolling over to lay next to you on the bed. Neither of you say anything, too fucked out to think of the repercussions from your actions.