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Suffocation: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Suffocation MLIST Summary: Time spent apart from Gojo means time spent with the students. That is, until your powers awaken. ps,, new chapter leaks?? we are so back!!! <3 Wc: 6, 500

The two of you, in fact, never got the chance to talk about it. You had fallen asleep on the couch, this time without him but with the students and your brother. As Gojo passed the common room on his way out, he thought about waking you to say goodbye. But you looked so peaceful leaning against the armrest, with Yuji curled beside you like a kitten.

The fact that Nobara, let alone Megumi, felt comfortable enough to do the same made Gojo's heart swell. All of them leaned against each other until it fell on you, your arms once spread wide but now curling into your chest, a peaceful smile spreading across your dream-filled face.

All he could do was pull out his phone and snap a picture, hoping he would get close enough with you to show it someday. To really make you understand that you were the missing piece in all of their lives. You would be a great mother. You would be a fantastic wife. You were everything and more.

Time did not matter; only the impact did. And what a crater you would leave behind.

What was this feeling?

Gojo allowed himself to steal one more look at you before returning to the duties he dreaded. It was convenient to be the most powerful sorcerer for once, as he deliberately teleported back to leave a present on your vanity, praying you would miss him as much as he would miss you in the next few days. Hoping you would understand.

When you woke, Gojo was already gone. And as you checked your phone later in the morning, you found his message.

Annoying ass teacher guy:> Will be back in a few days. Don't miss me too much, princess.

He imagined that since you were around the students, you would try to hide your blush as well as you could before typing back a witty reply with ease.

Yuji’s sister </3:> And if I miss you too much?

Annoying ass teacher guy:> I don't want you to be sad, but that might make what i'll do to you even more special ;)

Yuji’s sister </3:> you flirt

Annoying ass teacher guy:> check your desk

"Ugh!! Nanamiiiinnn!" Gojo sighed dramatically, flinging himself next to Nanami on the couch. It was idiotic with how anxious he was for your reply.

"What Gojo?" he grumbled, tersely flipping the page of his book.

"I won't see her for three days!" he whined. "Will she remember who I am?"

"The fact that she texted you back should be your answer," Nanami sighed, dismissing his friend's behavior as another joke. He didn't even know who Gojo was talking about, as he had already tuned out the teasing and nonchalance all morning. "Keep in mind we are here for work."

"We're done with work for the day, so you dont have an excuse to not listen to me."

Nanami put his book down, heaving a sigh. "Fine, spit it out."

A long silence passed as Gojo gathered his thoughts, deciding to start from the beginning. He didn't know if Yuji had said anything to Nanami yet about your arrival, but it didn't matter. Gojo wanted to talk about you; hell, he needed to. Just to think about something else, anything to get your face out of his mind. Talking about it had to help, right? His emotions were always bottled up, but this feeling… this one, was unlike any other.

Plus, Nanami had always been good with women. Advice shouldn't hurt, even if he was seeking it out from the person who would be harshest with him. It was needed.

And so, Gojo decided to ramble as he described your arrival, abilities, relation to Yuji, and what the two of you had already gone through in a week. The last thing he added was your beauty, which was definitely worth asseverating.

"She's all I can think about," he repined.

Nanami deadpanned. "You've only known her for a week," he said without thinking, but then really reflected on how Gojo was acting, how he talked about you, and how he said your name. There was a deep yearning, carefully covered with humor and dramatics. Had he ever seriously cared for a woman this much before? Nanami couldn't think of a time. Gojo was his usual, over-dramatic self, but Nanami noticed the differences. It was in the way Gojo moved, the slight uncertainty in his eyes, and how relieved his body language became once he finished his tangent.

Even just the description of you intrigued Nanami. Yes, it was astonishing to hear that Yuji had a sister and even more surprising to discover you had unique, undocumented cursed energy.

"You think the flowers were too much?"

"You bought a woman flowers?" Nanami's cold demeanor cracked into one of surprise. Then, he awkwardly cleared his throat to cover. "Absolutely not; flowers are a very safe choice."

"Seriously, is it that surprising?" Gojo sighed in defeat. "Why is everyone so surprised? I went on dates all the time, I know how to please a woman!"

"Not that you couldn't do it, but chose to."

That caused Gojo to fall silent. How his friend was able to read him so clearly was astonishing in itself. He was right, and that's what bothered Gojo. He had walked through life expecting never to feel this way, as he didn't have the time or energy to keep a woman by his side long enough for it to be worth it, let alone labeled. But with you, he wanted to. All he needed was for you to say yes.

Watching Gojo's eyebrows furrow, the realization spreading across his face, Nanami continued. "I know you've been with women before, but it actually seems like you deeply care for her. In the decade I've known you, I've never seen you like this."

"There's just something about her." Gojo twirled his phone between his fingers. Staring off into the distance. "I don't know what to do."

"Why wouldn't you know what to do?"

Part of Gojo was still determining whether he should allow himself to entertain the thought of you. Was this smart? Was he being fooled in a way he never thought possible? It was hard to trust, but you had never made him uneasy. Sometimes, you only need to look at a person to understand their intentions. And yours were pure.

But Gojo had been fooled before. All that distrust came flooding back as he thought of your unique ability. You somehow slipped past his infinity, and it frustrated him. He had let his guard down around you without realizing it. It was as simple as breathing when you were near. You weren't just beautiful and kind; you were also powerful. A road that could prove treacherous if he didn't play his cards right, not just for him but for everyone who relied on him, too.

"I've never felt this way before."

"And why are you making that seem like a bad thing?"

"Have you ever pictured me with a woman by my side?"

"I sure hoped and prayed that there was someone who could put you in your place."

Reluctantly, Gojo finally asked the question that mattered most. "What if I hurt her?"

"You probably will, but that's just how relationships go sometimes. Especially with a life as complicated as ours. Whether she can handle it or not, is up to her."

Gojo soaked in Nanami's words, ultimately concluding that he was worrying too much. If it was meant to be, it would. Right?

Everything eventually worked itself out, and he hoped that it could end in you being his alone. What wishful thinking.

"You know what Nanamin?" Gojo glanced over at his friend and coworker. "You're right."

And once Nanami saw that mischievous smile spread back across Gojo's face, he knew everything was back to normal. He shook his head, the slightest smile threatening to grace his lips. But Gojo knew he was hiding it when the corners of his eyes crinkled.

"Why do you look so smug?"

"I just can't believe that someone is willing to date you."

"You are so mean!" Gojo whined again, standing up from the couch and walking sluggishly to the exit as if he had been physically wounded. "I'll prove you wrong, Nanamin. Next time we meet she'll be in love with me."

And then, his phone pinged a message from you.

Y/N<3:> I love it, Satoru.

Curious, you wandered back into your room after breakfast. His message had left you operating at half capacity from the anticipation of it all. As soon as you opened the door, your eyes darted to your desk, where you found a bouquet of roses. The most beautiful bundle you'd ever seen.

There was a vase with a note attached. Picking it up with one hand, the other thumbed over the soft, ruby petals. As you finished the note, a permanent smile spread across your face for the rest of the day.

Keep the vase beautiful. As long as you're here, you won't go a week without flowers. - Satoru

One day turned into two, and you couldn't configure why it made you sad. It really shouldn't. Gojo's absence should be acceptable to you, but the longing in your chest told you otherwise.

Yuji claimed he was just on an emergency assignment and assured you it was normal. None of the students or staff seemed to bat an eye at his absence either. It allowed you to settle in without distractions and gave you more free time to befriend Yuji and the students. They trained with you, taught you what they knew, and refused to leave you alone for over an hour. In fact, they made your apartment their new hangout spot. They claimed it was cozy and smelled good, and you were too nice to refuse their company.

A gigantic beanbag had been brought in, and they were taking advantage of your Nintendo Switch games while you skimmed through a textbook peacefully on your bed. The campus library was a perfect resource, filled with specific literary curse techniques you couldn’t find elsewhere. You were learning so much, not just about jujutsu but also about yourself and your abilities. If only you could uncover the link between them all.

The sound effects of Mario Kart and the focused grunts of the students filled the room. The race ended, and Yuji sighed in defeat. “Are you sure you don’t wanna get in on this, Y/N?” he asked, head falling to the beanbag as he stared at you upside down.

“I need to study!” you chuckled. “Maybe next time?”

“Gojo should be back tonight, maybe he’ll join.” Megumi shrugged, already forcing the three of them into another tournament. You couldn’t help but perk up slightly at the mention of the white-haired sorcerer. He hadn’t told you when he’d return, and you couldn’t deny how badly you wanted to talk with him.

“But he always wins!” Yuji groaned.

“Oh?” you snorted. “So you only want me to join so you can beat me?”

Yuji snapped his head up, laughing nervously. “No I promise!”

Sticking your tongue out, your eyes returned to the textbook in your lap.

Nobara watched you closely before the match started, and your reaction to the mention of her Sensei confirmed her suspicions. Your sudden smile was also a dead giveaway.

“I bet Y/N would join if Gojo was here~” she teased, snickering to herself.

That definitely interrupted your train of thought, and you immediately became flustered. At least one person noticed something was going on.

“What makes you say that?” you squeaked, mentally smacking yourself for how obvious you sounded, cheeks already beginning to burn. There was no reason for you to be nervous about it. Yes, Gojo was their teacher… but you were an adult and had no previous affiliation with him to make it scandalous. A relationship with Gojo might only be weird if Yuji was uncomfortable. Would he be? Were you thinking way too much about it?

You were definitely jumping to conclusions. Gojo probably didn’t feel the same way about you. Gifts could only get him so far. His nickname for you and how he touched you didn’t necessarily mean he wanted what you did.

Then you remembered what he did to you before he left. And your anxiety spiked once again.

“You like him, do you not?” Nobara pried through a lighthearted laugh, even if she couldn’t understand. The thought made her want to barf. You were way too good for him. But her Sensei had his perks, and maybe, just maybe, he deserved someone like you in his life.

Fuck. You really wished Gojo was there to do the talking, to make it seem like a joke, to deflect the accusation with his ridiculous and ambiguous humor. You were so unsure about everything, but especially Gojo. You didn’t know him well enough yet, you didn’t know the students well enough to put a label on anything. “I mean…” you trailed off, trying to sound nonchalant. “What's not to like?”

Megumi facepalmed, knowing what was about to happen.

“You like-like Gojo Sensei?” Yuji asked in confusion, almost dropping the switch remote.

Your hands shot up in defense, growing frantic and flustered when all three students craned their heads to stare at you. “I dont know?”

“Oh my God,” Megumi sighed in defeat. “She does.”

“Really?” Yuji blinked multiple times, glancing at his friends and then back to you, wondering if he’d been too oblivious to realize. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“You both are so dumb sometimes.” Nobara pinched her nose. “Who do you think got her those roses on her desk?”

They all turned their heads to look at your desk, which, in fact, still displayed the flamboyant bouquet of red roses placed neatly in a glass vase. It was so obvious. Of course, Nobara would notice something like that.

“It’s not what it looks like…” you tittered, wanting to run into your closet and hide from the embarrassment of it all.

“I assumed it was just a friendly welcoming gift!” Yuji fussed in response to being called dumb.

“Red is the color of love, idiot,” Megumi sighed.

Yuji slumped further into the bean bag, releasing an even more exasperated sigh than Megumi. He wasn’t upset about it, only frustrated that he wasn’t the first to notice and ask you about it. Days passed, and nobody said a word about something so important. Gojo liked you? Like that?

“Have you kissed?” Nobara pried further, desperate to hear the gossip.

You didn’t reply, trying to hide the bashful smile that threatened to spread across your face by biting down on your lip. You did more than just kiss, but you would keep that to yourself. Even if you didn’t say anything, what you felt was displayed in your expression. Why were you so bad at lying?

Nobara threw her head back with a cackle, nudging Yuji in his side. “How do you feel Yuji? Gojo likes your sister!”

Your brother seemed to ponder for a minute longer than you hoped for, but all he did was shrug and admit, “I’m surprised,” he said, but then smiled at you with kindness and understanding in his eyes. “If that’s what you want Y/N. I’m okay with it.”

“Really?” Your mouth dropped open. “It's not weird?” you asked none of them in particular.

“I don’t think it's weird,” Megumi finally butted in. “Gojo can be a good person when he wants to be.”

“Yeah!” Yuji beamed at you, thinking it funny that you would consider his feelings in the matter. “You don’t need to worry about how I would feel. You’re my sister, but only as of recently. You deserve to be with who you want!”

What a gentle, kind, and loving soul your brother was. How could he be so sweet at such a young age? It had taken you far longer to open yourself up, to trust, and seek happiness. He made it seem easy, as if he hadn’t endured his own trauma of death and separation.

“Thanks, Yuji.” You smiled back at him, relaxing back to your previous, unbothered demeanor. “I’ll take that into consideration.”

“That’s it?” Nobara sighed. “No more details?”

“No more details.” You scrunched your face at her teasingly. “Once I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Boooooo,” she jeered, picking up a remote and leaning back toward Yuji. “At least we have something to blackmail Gojo with now,” she whispered loud enough for you to hear.

Yuji chuckled at that, and so did Megumi. They all continued to play their game, and you went back to reading your book. You smiled as you scanned through the lines and jotted down notes about domain expansions. According to Gojo, they were a rare occurrence, but it was wise to be as prepared as possible. You remembered as much as you could about his—how awakened and alive you felt. A cursed spirit would be a different story, though. And you preferred to not think more about it just yet. You only hoped you would never be trapped in one.

About to turn another page, you felt that all too familiar rush of dread.

No…not right now. It was too soon.

A gasp left your lips, and you went rigid. Before you could even think to warn Yuji, Megumi, and Nobara of what they were about to witness, the upper portion of your body violently snapped back into the bed.

The headboard smacked against the wall loud enough to alert the students. One breath was all you could take before a sudden coldness infected every portion of your body. Then, you began to cease, all control of your body vanishing.

“Y/N?” Yuji immediately shot up from the beanbag, followed by his duo. They all rushed to your bed as if sensing the pressure in the room change. The candle you had burning blew out as Yuji scooped his hands under your head, trying his best to cradle you. “What’s wrong?”

“Is she okay?” Megumi barked, eyes wide in concern. Nobara’s eyes shot to the now-smoking candle.

A few more spasms ricocheted through your body, and you grit your teeth in an attempt to relax. All you needed to speak was a few strained sentences. Your body was so stiff, and you could feel your hands clench. Your eyes started to droop before you could stop them.

“N…Notebook…” you stuttered, trying to gesture to the only one sitting on your desk. “And quill!” you forced out. It clicked without further explaining for Megumi, and he snatched them and brought them to you.

Yuji, on the other hand, was frantic, shouting your name over and over again. Nobara was reaching for her cell phone, yelling about calling an ambulance.

“Normal!” you cried out, shaking uncontrollably. “It's normal…” You went limp in Yuji’s arms and were finally able to rush out what you needed. “Don’t call anyone–” you strained.

It wasn’t a typical seizure; you knew it. Your body contorted in ways that looked painful and unnatural, and you knew you were scaring them. This was the first time you were losing control in front of others. Tears started gathering in the corner of your eyes from the fear of it all, from the judgment and the embarrassment.

Then, your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you ceased again. It would continue to happen until you picked up that stupid quill. You felt helpless, not just for yourself but for your poor brother, who was now about to witness just how strange you really were.

The last thing you felt was Megumi sliding the quill into your enclosed grip.

Gojo felt the shift before he opened your door, the gifts he brought back for you and the students falling to the floor as he burst through it, freezing as his eyes settled on your contorted body. You were utterly still, the only part of you moving was your hand, metal tip scribbling against the paper. The sound of it was abhorrent as if every etch foretold destruction. Invisible dread hung in the air, undoubtedly coming from whatever prophecy you were weaving.

But your eyes were what scared him. They were completely rolled back into your head, so much so that the blood vessels looked as if they were going to burst. You suddenly began to twitch violently, making Yuji gasp with concern, making Gojo rush to your side, dancing along a frantic line.

“Gojo Sensei!” Megumi turned to him with wide eyes. “What’s happening?”

“It's okay!” He approached you as if he was in a trance, and the students moved aside. He didn’t know if you were okay if this was normal or expected. You had only summarized these episodes briefly.

Once he was at your side, his knees gave out. He felt almost paralyzed, gazing at you in such apparent pain and unable to think of a way to fix it. This was an undiscovered form of cursed energy. He tried desperately to scan through his memories for one instance of something similar but came up with nothing.

“She was fine just a second ago,” Nobara muttered in shock, glancing around as if she could solve it and relieve your predicament.

“Did she say anything before?” Gojo asked, eyebrows knitting with worry.

“T-That it was normal,” Yuji said, standing behind Gojo with a worried, distraught expression, noticing how his Sensei’s eyebrows furrowed as if he, too, was at a loss for what to do. Yuji couldn’t recall a time when Gojo was confused, let alone displayed such concern.

Gojo relaxed slightly but still reached out and adjusted your pillow to support your neck. At that point, he didn’t care if his students watched him reach out and caress your cheek. He was so worried. It didn’t matter if you had warned him about something like this. The way you twitched and gasped and the tears that still poured from the corners of your eyes made him furious.

Glancing at the notebook that your quill was scratching erratically on, Gojo still found it blank even as he used his six eyes. “I saw her last prophecy. But I can't see anything yet. I think she has to finish,” he whispered, grasping your other hand to let you know he was there for you.

Faintly, your pinky finger twitched against his palm, curving around his own finger before going limp again. Then, you twitched, a loud gasp heaving from your throat.

“Something is coming,” was all you said, eyes still rolled back before you shot up into a sitting position. It seemed impossible, but you began to scratch faster as your cursed energy burst to life, almost engulfing the entire room. All-consuming was the green aura, and the surprise of it all caused Gojo to jolt back. Nobara yelped in fright.

When everyone glanced back at you, they realized the notebook was floating, so were you and the loose items around you. And now, your eyes were glowing. Your aura was so unique, so rare. It was calming when it should be everything but.

The quill left the paper and began to brush more fluidly, calmly, and peacefully into the open space around you. Trying to focus, Gojo started to understand what you were actually doing. As beautiful as it was, the Kanji began to flow together to cast a spell. An ancient one, not a prophecy.

It felt like a mirage, as if Gojo was stepping through a rainbow. Beautiful colors, your beautiful face. The depths of your soul. The parts of you he craved to know. He saw flashes of you, moments that hadn't happened yet but felt like they were meant to. Your smile, your kindness, loyalty, and trust. Love was what it was. And he had so much of it to give. He would die for you in a heartbeat; he would do anything to keep that pretty smile on your face. He imagined himself holding you, imagined how amazing it would feel to call you his wife—he saw himself getting down on one knee, that expensive ring sparkling from inside a black velvet box. With tears streaming down your face, you nodded furiously. “I love you so much, Satoru.”

“Gojo what are you doing?” Megumi’s voice interrupted his vision, tinged with panic and warning.

The promised future vanished as quickly as it came, as Gojo realized he was holding your face, and you were holding his. No, not just his face; the fingers of your left hand were curled around his blindfold, and your right hand had begun to tug at the knot. You had almost slipped past the infinity that protected his soul. And you would have done it with ease.

Surprised, Gojo tugged his head back. And at the loss of contact, you gasped. A cry left your lips as the cursed energy you released shot back inside of you, snapping your body back to the bed. The silence that followed was deafening, and all anyone could hear was the sound of their pounding hearts, trying desperately to clear their minds of the haze your aura commanded.

The students and teacher all glanced at each other with dazed expressions. Glossy eyes and opened mouths proved that all of them had seen something, not just Gojo.

“What did you see Yuji?” Gojo asked, snapping back to reality faster than them. He knew you were okay by the steadiness of your breathing but was still cautious to get too close again.

Your brother blinked, still trying to comprehend what he’d seen. It felt so genuine and authentic like it had happened before. “I was sitting next to Y/N at a large dinner table. We all were…toasting to something. I don’t know what, but I was so happy. She told me how proud she was to be my sister. There were others there too but I couldn’t see their faces. You were on the other side of her, Sensei.”

Gojo’s eyes snapped to the others, taking note of Yuji’s explanation. A different vision, but similar to his—both of their visions highlight a relationship to you.

Megumi could feel Gojo’s gaze on him, knowing he’d been asked a question, but couldn’t muster a response. He knew he looked like a deer in the headlights, sort of how Yuji and Nobara both did. But instead of being able to explain what flashed through his mind, Megumi just swallowed hard in hopes of distracting himself from the pang in his chest.

There was no way, just no way. What had he even seen? Was it the future? Was it something he wanted and didn’t even know? All he knew was that the mirage had cracked the second he called you mom. Megumi had called you mom. There were no words to describe the feeling that constricted at his throat and prevented him from speaking. What he saw was you resting under a tree, nestled between his demon dogs and reading a book. They had grown a liking to you, just as he had.

“I need them for training, mom,” Megumi called over, rolling his eyes.

“But I’m so comfy!” you whined, and the dogs snorted in agreement.

“When you’re done, please let me know.”

What did that even mean? How did that happen? Regardless, the gaping hole of belongingness cracked open further. And as Megumi ruminated over what he’d seen, he was left even more confused.

“We were shopping for…clothes…” Nobara finally said, but stopped before finishing. She intentionally broke her Sensei's focus after noticing the turmoil and confusion in Megumi’s eyes. The unanticipated vision was confusing her, too. The two of you had been shopping for baby clothes. And as she thought harder, she realized you had a slight baby bump poking through your sundress. The floppy summer hat you wore could not conceal the happiness in your eyes as you looked at her, wondering which outfit she thought was the cutest. After she gave her advice, you replied, “You’re gonna be the best auntie ever.”

Was this a glimpse of the future? And if so, did the others have a similar premonition like hers?

Dazed, you finally opened your eyes. The overhead light blinded you, only for a moment, before you remembered where you were and who you were surrounded with. Tears slipped past your eyelids before you could stop them. There were so many emotions and questions racing through your entire body that it would be impossible to properly formulate them. You were shaking still, feeling like you were being chased out of an incredible high. A high that reached its peak and was crashing down, leaving you distraught and fatigued.

“I’m sorry!” you choked out between gasps, feeling like you were suffocating, sitting up to see all of them staring at you with apprehensive eyes. “I-I’m sorry—”

“It’s okay,” Gojo immediately rushed back to your side, grasping your failing hands and pressing them softly into your lap. “Take a deep breath. It’s okay.”

Nodding furiously with tears streaming down your face, you inhaled sharply, his touch instantly soothing you.

“Slower.” Gojo nodded. “It’s okay.”

Feeling the pounding in your ears start to fade, you swallowed, mustering a sad smile as you glanced at him. He looked so worried from what you could see on his face, and it made a peculiar hollowness reside within your thoughts, realizing you had ruined his arrival. Your surroundings were different, too. Your books and supplies were strewn across the floor, along with presents at the entrance to your room. Had Gojo brought home gifts?

“I don’t know what happened. That’s never happened before.”

Your expression of paranoia explained enough to the white-haired sorcerer. Was that look in your eyes one of guilt? What could you possibly feel guilty for? Were you afraid he wouldn't believe you?

“I believe you,” Gojo whispered, releasing his hands from covering yours. He hesitated, wanting to comfort you more, but relented. You probably needed your space anyway. There was no clear answer for what just happened, and you were nonplussed, looking to him for answers he couldn’t give you. At least, not immediately, but he would try his best.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Yuji questioned as he crossed the room, taking the opportunity to comfort you now that Gojo backed away. “Are you hurt?”

Remaining silent as Yuji gave you a hug, Gojo watched the two of you interact, mostly Yuji fussing over you, asking over and over again if you were okay. “No, no, I’m fine.” You tried your best to smile at your brother.

“Are you sure?” Gojo pressed further, recognizing the uncertainty in your eyes. This was a shock to everyone, Gojo especially, unsure how to feel about the glimpse into his future. Was it wise for him to know something that important? His feelings for you were already passional, and he was undeniably infatuated with you. A seer with comparable powers hadn’t been born in centuries, so the validity of your visions was unknown. But, visions were more tangible and easier to understand than prophecies. Was this a promise or a hint? Could it be changed based on the choices he made?

“Do you remember what happened?” Gojo finally asked after a stretch of silence.

Shaking your head, you looked over at the notebook beside you. The energy was palpable, and it was coming from it. You pushed it across the bed and nodded at him to take it. Part of you was scared to read its contents, from the impartial images that flashed through your mind, from the inexplicability of it all and the lack of understanding. What scared you the most, though, was that you were certain. What you saw was going to happen eventually. You didn’t know when or how it would happen, but it would. None of your predictions ever failed to come true.

Scanning the words, Gojo sat down on the bed next to you. He seemed calmer than you, acting like what he witnessed was an everyday experience. Somehow, it helped settle your thoughts. If he wasn't worried, there was no reason for you to be either. The trust you were developing for him only resonated deeper.

The students huddled around Gojo, trying to peak over his shoulder for a glimpse of the cursed energy.

“Let me see it!” Yuji whined.

That managed to make you laugh through your nose.

As soon as the sky is colored green,

The chosen one will realize their blindness

Souls will clash and die, but love will blossom

Children of clans from old fight demons that seek redemption,

The day the king returns, all hope will be lost until she aw—a. A. Awake. Awaken—अहं भाषा वदामि। त्मरक्षा एव वास्तविकशक्ति

संरक्षण-संरक्षण-आह्वानम्-नरके मृत्योः च मुक्तं अवगच्छन्त

रक्षणार्थं आह्वानम्-नरकेभ्यः मृत्योः च मुक्तम्

Death rebirths life

You saw what you'd written, the look of bewilderment on their faces, and the deafening silence that followed. Snatching the journal from Gojo, you brought it closer to get a better look.

“What language is that?” Nobara asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“It’s sanskrit,” Gojo replied lowly, confusion lacing his tone. Something odd was definitely happening. Only the oldest spells were written in that dead language, long before humans gained a proper understanding of what jujutsu entailed. He couldn’t understand all the words, only bits and pieces, referencing the oldest spells recorded in history.

“I-I don’t understand.” Your eyes glossed over with worry. “I don’t know Sanskrit.”

“I think only a few people do,” Megumi added.

“It looks like something hijacked your prophecy.” Gojo pointed out, noticing the green color fade from your cursed energy into something black and ancient. He pointed at one symbol. “This means I create.” He moved down the line. “And this means protection.”

“A protection spell?” Nobara muttered.

This felt too familiar, and the revelation was on the tip of Gojo’s tongue. Long ago, there was a clan of witches comprised entirely of women. Remnants of their bloodline still remained, but it had been hundreds of years since they were in power. Most of their history remained undocumented, but they specialized in prophecy and ancestral magic. Gojo skimmed through his memory, trying to recall the last written prophecy from the supreme.

Gojo looked at you, and it clicked into place.

A low, sinking feeling settled in your stomach.

“I need to speak with Y/N alone,” Gojo said to the students, not leaving room for debate. His tone was so firm that they reluctantly scrambled for the exit without protest.

Yuji glanced back at you hesitantly. Concern was engraved in his expression. He mouthed, text me before shutting the door behind him. You and Gojo listened to their footsteps scurrying down the hall, and he didn’t turn toward you until he heard all of their doors click shut. The scarcity they left behind was apparent, and you were growing nervous about what he would say.

“Do you know anything about your family history?”

All you could do was shake your head.

“I had my suspicions that you were more powerful, but now I’m suspecting you’ve been chosen as a conduit. What happened during your episode is called an emergence.”

Your demeanor stiffened. “What does that mean?”

“It could mean a lot of things. There hasn’t been a seer of your potential for centuries. There’s definitely a mix of bloodlines happening, as Yuji is Sukuna’s vessel and can remain in control of his body. You on the other hand, the eldest daughter, might be a descendant of a long-defunct clan that hasn’t been in power since Sukuna’s defeat, which they helped aid in. You are clearly vulnerable when you’re recording your prophecies, and I believe the Sanskrit was one of your ancestors taking that opening. I only know that it could be a protection spell, but we should have it translated just to make sure.” He paused. "

“How do you know this?”

“It’s only a theory so far. But the gift of prophecy is yours alone. The words you wrote… Will come true, all things considered,” Gojo trailed off, losing his train of thought. He wanted to tell you what you’d shown him and that the students had clearly seen something. But he didn't move; he barely even breathed. Ruminating over how beautiful you looked in that vision almost stopped his heart. He wasn't trying to be funny or flirty. He looked just as concerned and embarrassed as you, wishing he had the answers as always. But it seemed that only more questions arose when it came to you.

Gojo’s body language seemed conflicted. Maybe you were more spot-on than you assumed.

“Won't they?” he pried.

“I hope not.” You glanced away, only remembering the words of demise, scribbled over and over again before a dead language emerged, further adding to the confusion of your connection to this life. If Gojo's prediction was correct, it would strengthen the hopeless feeling rising in your chest that your entire life was a lie. How you now looked at yourself was anything but satisfactory, unaware of the promise of a better future that Gojo glimpsed.

A gift, like he said, but also a curse that you would never wish upon another. Every day that passed made you question if foresight really was a blessing.

All Gojo could configure was how tired you looked. A lifetime of information had been dumped on you within an hour. Instead of being hard on you like he initially promised in that bar, he wanted to comfort you. But that defeated look in your eyes spoke volumes of what you really needed.

There was no rush. At least, not yet.

"Why don't you get some rest,” he whispered, standing up to peel the covers back for you. “I’ll find a translator later.”

Sighing deeply, you glanced up at him before relenting, letting him pull the covers over your body. You watched Gojo as he stacked your books on your bedside table, tidying up what had been misplaced.

A part of you wished he would stay. And perhaps he would have if you asked, but the second your head snuggled into your pillow, the world started to fade away.

"Thank you, Satoru," you whispered faintly.

"For what, princess?"

"Everything." Was all you mustered in your enervated state. You really wanted to thank him for his willingness to help you, for not abandoning you or being afraid. For taking care of your brother, for not giving up, and for making you feel butterflies in a world of darkness and despair.

Turning off the lamp on your bedside table, Gojo watched your eyes flutter shut. He leaned down and pressed a kiss against your forehead. You hummed in response, the corners of your lips upturning sleepily.

He wondered if you saw the future as he did, speculating whether or not you wished for his presence the way he did yours. Regardless, he failed to express that you could rely on him no matter what and that you would never have to suffer alone again.

That may be the most potent form of love he could provide.

∘∙∘☾𖤓∘∙∘

Tags :) @aetrimis @ihatethisbye @that-one-enthusiast @ti-mame @torusmochi @azgucci @getosfavmonkeyy @allisonbaelfire @gojoslefttoenail

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #jujustu kaisen

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dragon-kazansky · 1 day

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Heart of the Dreaming

Morpheus x Female Reader

Soulmate AU

You are the daughter of Rodrick Burgess. You find out about the "demon" in the basement and decide you want to see it. Things take an unexpected turn when your soulmate connection is made with the man you find down there. You are the one he has been waiting for, and you're being taken away from. Not for long. Dream will protect his soulmate.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Chapter Nine - Piece of me

☆☆☆

You stand beside Dream as you stare at the old depleted building. On your way here, Dream had explained to you Hob Gadling. Once a century, they would meet in this pub. Dream would ask Hob about his experiences and his life, seeing if he really wanted to continue living.

You were fascinated. It dawned on you that you and Hob had something in common. Both of you would live forever.

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for." Dreak looks at you curiously.

"Still, this place meant something to you."

"The pub wasn't going to last forever."

"I suppose not..."

As you look around the fence, you spot a red line drawn right across the metal. You reach out and trace the words 'The New Inn' with your finger. "Do you think this is important?"

Dream reads the words and then follows the line with his eyes. He begins to wall in that direction. You follow him.

You end up outside a very pretty building. A little pub. There are people sitting outside in the garden having a drink in the sun. You smile slightly at the sight. It was fascinating to you.

"Do you think he's in there?" You ask.

"Perhaps."

Dream walks slowly toward the building, and you continue to follow him. Inside was nice and cool. You look around. The pub wasn't huge, and you liked that. The woman behind the bar smiles at you as you walk past.

Dream leads you further into the pub and comes to stop. You look up at him and then follow his gaze. There's a handsome man sitting by himself at a table grading papers in front of him.

The man looks up slowly and then smiles. "You're late."

Morpheus smiles, too. "It seems I owe you an apology. I've always heard it impolite to keep one's friends waiting."

Hob gestures to the chair opposite him. Morpheus pulls the chair out and then looks at you, offering it to you instead. You seem a little startled by that, expecting him to just sit down. You take the seat and watch Dream pull up another chair.

"And who's this?" Hob asks, smiling at you.

Dream speaks your name. You smile softly and feel rather bashful under Hob’s gaze.

"Nice to meet you."

"You too," you smile at him.

Hob turns to Dream and raises his brows up with a smile. Morpheus smiles back, not giving away anything else.

The two old friends catch up. Hob talks to Dream about many different things, and you listen with great interest. You had missed out on so much.

Dream shares his story with Hob. You find it hard to look at either of them while Dream talks. You're ashamed for what your family had done to him.

"Hey." You look up when Hob calls out quietly to you. "You're safe now. I'm sure he doesn't hold any malice toward you for what happened. Right?" Hob looks at Dream.

Morpheus looks at you. "I do not. You are not the reason I was trapped there. But being trapped there was the reason I found you."

You don't really know what to say to that. You stare at him. Your mind is riddled with thoughts and feelings.

Hob looked between the two of you and smiled softly. "Are you two together?"

You both turn to him.

"Yes." "No!"

You turn to Dream. "We're not... together."

He looks at you. "Are we not?"

"Of course not."

He leans forward a little bit and looks at you a little closer. "Are we not bonded?"

"Well, yes... but..."

"That is enough for me," he says.

"But..." The words die on your tongue. You feel a little confused by what he thinks. Did he assume that automatically meant you were both a couple?

"I think you've still got some things to figure out. Forgive me for asking," Hob says softly.

"It's alright..." You assure him.

Hob gets up to order a round of drinks, and you sit next to Dream awkwardly. He keeps his eyes on you while you both wait for Hob to return.

"Do you dislike me?" He asks suddenly.

"What?"

"Do you dislike me?"

"No." You shake your head. "I'm just not sure what it is you want out of this."

"I thought that was obvious," he replies.

"I meant we could be friends. Being soupmates doesn't mean we have to be in love or anything." You look at him. He sits there quietly, staring at you. "You're looking for a lover?"

"I've had lovers before. I want something... different."

"Different?"

"More," he clarifies.

You drop your gaze to the table and sigh softly. He wants someone he can love unconditionally without dear of them leaving him. You glance up to see he's still looking at you, and you're not sure what to do. Luckily, Hob returns. He places a drink in front of each of you and looks at you both.

"Are you against me having feelings for you?" Dreams asks softly.

"No. I just... I'm still learning about you. I haven't even really spent much time in your realm. It's kind of overwhelming being a human one day and then the soulmate of a cosmic entity the next."

Dream's lips curl into a tiny little smile.

Hob looks between you both again. He's kind of amused by his old friend. He never really imagined him as a romantic type, but it's clear he wants something with you.

"Do you hold no feelings at all for me?" Dream then asks.

"No, I... I'm curious about you, but I can't say I'm in love with you or anything. Are you lonely?" You ask.

"Perhaps."

"It makes sense why you want this to be more, but I don't think we're compatible like that."

"No?"

"You're just so... different." You look at him with a sorry expression. He can tell you're trying to be sincere.

"Because I am not mortal?"

"Because you're so closed off."

He stares at you for a good few long moments and then casts his eyes away. It's not like he doesn't know what you mean. He's just ashamed it had to be said out loud.

He just wants you to like him.

"You will stay in the Dreaming with me, yes?"

"Yes."

"Then I shall ask no more lf you," he says, looking back at you once more. You look into his pretty blue eyes and find your heart skips a beat.

Hob picks up the conversation with Dream again, and they talk between them some more. You listen and chime in every so often, but for the most part, your mind drifts.

You wonder what will come of this bond you share with the Sandman.

☆☆☆

Once again, you stand in the palace within the Dreaming. This time, you have time to actually take it in. You can tell just by looking around that Dream himself designed every little part of his realm.

He was obviously proud of his work. The rook he gave you was designed by him, too. You can tell he went to a lot of effort to make sure you would be comfortable here. He clearly wanted you to like your new home.

Home.

The Burgess mansion never really felt like home. It became your prison. Now you had a home. A home unlike anything you could have imagined before. It made you feel warm.

A knock on your door makes you snap out of your thoughts. You turn and call out, letting the person know they could enter. Dream steps into your room and your heartbeat picks up.

"How are you settling in?" He asks kindly.

"It's a very nice room. I'll be quite comfortable in here."

"Good." He walks over to the bed where you're sat and stands about a foot away. You can see the cogs in his brain turning, trying to work out what he wants to say.

"Are you alright?" You ask.

You see the way his posture straightens slightly. There was clearly something he wanted to say.

"I have a proposition for you."

"What kind of proposition?"

"A declaration if you will. I want to give you a piece of myself as a sign of my loyalty and devotion to you."

You stare at him in a mix of shock, confusion, and awe. "A piece of you?"

"A portion of my power. I offer it to you as a gift."

"You don't need to do that," you tell him, worried about what that would entail.

"I want to."

You look at him, really look at him, and see the way his eyes subtly plead with you to do this for him. You realise then just how much he holds you in high regard.

"Alright..."

Dream lifts his chin up a little and then holds out his hand. You stare at his pale hand for a moment before taking it. He pulls you up to your feet carefully and then pulls you a little closer to him. His hand remains clasped around yours. You keep your gaze on his face and watch as he closes his eyes. Your hand starts to tingle, and you look down to see what looks like golden sand around your entwined hands. You gasp softly as you feel a strange warmth bubbling in your chest and then as quickly as it came, it vanishes.

Dream opens his eyes and gazes at you. He holds your hand in his, his thumb lightly brushing over your skin.

"How do you feel?"

You look up at him and take a moment to think, to feel. "I don't know."

Dream lifts your hand slowly up to his lips and kisses your knuckles gently. You can't seem to tear your eyes away as he lowers your hand and let's go. You feel his fingers slip from your grasp like sand.

"I will teach you how to use this power if you will let me."

All you can manage to do is not quietly, unable to use your voice right now. You feel warm. You feel safe. You feel his love through your veins.

This was his way of telling you how he felt.

You look down at your hand. The sand is gone. The tingle is no longer there. However, you can still feel the phantom warmth of his hand in yours.

"What do I do with this power?" You ask softly.

"You help me here in the Dreaming." He smiles slightly. He is proud of this step He has taken.

You close your hand and look up at him. You offer him a smile.

He looks relieved.

This new life of yours starts now.

☆☆☆

@deniixlovezelda - @missdreamofendless - @kpopgirlbtssvt - @meganlpie - @thoughtsfromlayla - @ladyjbrekker

@mwaaaaaugh - @bluespecs14 - @intothesoul - @lady-violet - @navs-bhat - @krahk - @oldsoulmagic

@rubyrose2014 - @lorkai - @roxytheimmortal - @star-maker-rain-dancer - @intothesoul - @gemini-mama - @whotperlinda

@dreamingblueberries - @the-shadow-of-aurora - @novavida - @blackgirlmagicforever

@permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 - @hopshusushi - @sloppyzengarden - @thecraziestcrayon -

#heart of the Dreaming #morpheus x reader #dream x reader #female reader #the sandman #dragon writes

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sir-adamus · 3 days

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i feel like digging up old news

we knew from the start that the 'rwb/y is disappointing' video was gonna be bad faith horseshit but one thing that's stuck out to me looking back on it was how he was gonna attack Barbara for telling people not to watch the show if they don't like it as his 'evidence' that the people working on the show can't take criticism, until he was told the context of it (one particular dipshit had publicly linked her and Arryn a - stolen from yet another asshole - piece of art of their characters horrifically mutilated, just to be an asshole), at which point it was removed

but that inclusion was in the script, it was recorded and in the video until the early patreon viewers provided context

now, this video took him seven months, for some reason, and clearly that seven months wasn't to do research or fact-check anything, because otherwise he would've done his due diligence in the name of being 'objective' (hah) and found the context Barb said that before including it. now to have included that, without finding out the context in the first place, means either he knew and didn't care until he realised it was common knowledge and he'd get pulled up on it and make him look bad (which are the same reasons he doesn't go after Monty in that video despite publicly hating the man less than six months before his death, or how he doesn't get on Mark Gatiss's case for his writing in the Sherlock video and only shits on Moffat. because he's more concerned with looking morally pure than being factual. dragging a dead man's name through the mud, or criticising a gay man despite that Gatiss's writing has nothing to do with that, doesn't gel with the image he's putting out, you see), or that someone must've given it to him without context, knowing he was looking for ammunition to attack the crew with and didn't care what the context was until it made him look like an asshole to do so

it was a bad faith hit-piece from the start from someone who never liked the show, holds contempt for everyone involved (and honestly from some of the things he says, fandom in general), and despite his enormous ego is an extremely bad media critic. and no matter how much he lied about it not being a hit-piece, he'd already shown his ass over it with both how he chooses to present himself and the people he works with not making any secret of hiding it

#rwb/y

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muzaktomyears · 1 day

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There are about eighty things wrong with working for the Beatles and one of them is that there aren't any Beatles any more and another is that one forgets who one is, whoever one may be; the experience of working for the Beatles has affected all of us in different ways, but affected us it has and forever; come what may we will never be the same. (…) Oh, it has been a great adventure, and we all shared the fun. The Beatles were generous with the fun. The Beatles liked the people around them and the people around them liked the Beatles. We were not sycophants, yet we were rarely bold. I think we were always nervous because there were four of them, and only four. There were two assets common to those who survived a close relationship with them: 1. We didn't want to be Beatles and we didn't ever think about their money; 2. We were good at what we did and what we did they couldn't do. (...) I don't know whether to laugh or cry now that it's all over. I mean I miss the Beatles, they were part of all our lives and all our loving, and yet it is nice for them and for us from the inner clique to be ourselves, so again, I ask, who are we? Will we ever be allowed to go out and about as normals, or will we always be offered bones to inspect and label: 'Which one was it who really split them up?' 'Who was your favourite?' I dunno, I dunno, I think sometimes that the people closest to them are the people the Beatles resent most. We were so adjacent to the truth, to the money, so near to the fame, and the success and all of the glamglitscreamcheer that we got to look very like courtiers, covered in gold dust. Did they ever think: ‘Goddamn them! Who do they think they are? Who needs them? We are the Beatles, we are the four.’ (...) Neil and Mal and me and Peter, we were there because we wanted to serve the Beatles, we were heavy fans, so are all the people around them; I guess the whole world is and the miracle is not that the Beatles survived the world’s adoration (they didn’t, they took a powder to end the pain), but that Lennon and McCartney and Harrison and Starkey had the wit and wisdom to cling to the good earth and not fall off. Clinging to reality can take a lot out of a man and I think that towards the end, they were looking at us like parents having troubles enough of their own, looking at a houseful of full-grown sons, sitting around making tea. If any of them had said, ‘Why don’t you lot go out and get a job?’ was the feeling I got, so here I am, sitting at this desk.

As Time Goes By, Derek Taylor (1973)

#found this generally interesting #the beatles #derek taylor #books

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soliloquent-stark · 21 hours

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this is a bit all over the place, don't mind me. and don't keep reading if you dislike gooey stuff.

as you might know from the lovely asks i was sent (thank you, everyone 💗) it was my birthday yesterday. and unfortunately, as it often happens, some things didn't go so well. i won't go into details, but it was tough, and it sucked to cry on my birthday more than usual (teenage trauma throwback, am i rite) though i admit it was really handy to have a cake to absorb all the tears right up. 🤭

but good things happened, too! and almost all of them had one common denominator: k! (typing it out like this is so silly. she has a name. but for all intents and purposes, she's simply ✨k✨).

without even getting into the actual gifts that my fiancée got me this year—which are as always perfect and thoughtful and useful and just magic—or the cake, or the flowers, or anything else, i wanted to specifically showcase the marvel related stuff that put such a smile on my face:

yes, that balloon gave me heart attacks whenever i walked into the room. yes, i pretended to hate cringy cowboy seb then ended up giggling and blushing every time i looked at him. yes, the spiderman gift bag is from the children's section and we've gifted it back and forth at various occasions for over a year now.

also a superfamily celebration:

i loved feeling like a four year old little boy with my spiderman cake topper <3.

and i obviously won't share the rest of what she wrote, but the card included some sweet quotes i genuinely was so moved by, then i realised they sounded familiar, then i realised it's from my hedgehog fic (which was a gift to her, so honestly we're just throwing the same quotes back and forth pretending it's about steve and tony. it was never about steve and tony).

quoting my own writing back to me?? hello?? queen behaviour right there. also peak moment for me.

(side note, that's not even all the marvel stuff i got from her this birthday. i didn't include any gifts in this post. also, i wish there was a way to show everyone just how many marvel things we own (including fanmade posters, stickers, zines etc. support creators if you can. ❤️) and how much that shocks some people who visit us because it doesn't seem like it goes with the sapphic-grandma core we got going on. oh well, it does now.)

it would be impossible to list why k is the best person in the world without writing actual novels (believe me, i have tried and it was very long) and sharing way too much about her story. but just trust me when i say she is the best friend you could ever have, and she makes me feel so loved and appreciated every single day, which makes special occasions even harder because how do you even top that? well, she still manages to. every time. 🥺

i guess the point of this was to share some appreciation and further my k propaganda, because i can see all the effort and care she lovingly puts into everything she does for other people, and to let everyone know just how much of an angel she is. i don't care if it's corny. and if you've ever seen a comment written by whinysteve, or read her excited tags on a reblog, or directly talked to her, or simply perceived her existence in any form, you already know she's the fucking best. it's not an act, it's all real. should get my shit together and finally wife her up. 🥹

tl;dr: she makes any moment better by just being there; and when she sets her mind to it, you will feel the power of her kindness. at the end of day, to be loved is to be seen. and she's got the world record for best vision. ❤️‍🩹

#getting personal on main sorry folks ✌🏻️#did i just make my birthday post all about her? yes and what of it #i am a simple girl. i see whinysteve and i fall in love

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toxicanonymity · 1 day

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Hey there ✨️

I love your work 💕 I'm a long time fan 🫶🏼. I've been on tumblr a few years now, but I'd never found the courage to post anything of my own til now. I've been feeling a little optimistic these days, and genuinely excited about posting some of my writing and sharing it with the people out here. Do you have any advice on how to start posting and interacting from scratch? Cause I'm low-key nervous abt it and it seems like my target audience has already formed a solid community I don't know how to get into 🥺

Hi! 💕 Thank you so much. This is exciting. I’m flattered as heck but jeepers, a little underqualified. So, good news - I consulted a few friends for this, too.

Engage with the community early and often – writers, artists, anyone. Even if it seems like they’ve formed a solid community, there are likely still people joining or else it would die out.

Everyone loves to get feedback on their fics, so this is a good entry point. Comments, reblogs, thoughtful asks. If you have the time and interest, maybe a little fic mood board to slide into someone’s inbox. Tag games, etc. Have perseverance. It can be scary to put yourself out there socially, but this part can’t be any scarier than putting your fics out there, can it?

Become a “regular” on your favorite blogs, and you’ll start getting recognized. This will mean when you post your fic, there will be some name recognition, and they may think “Oh, she loves [fave writer], so we have common interests” *open fic*. Hopefully, you'll also get support from your favorite writers if you engage. It doesn't matter how "popular" someone is, they (most?) still notice and connect with regulars. I’ve had many readers turn into writers and am thrilled to support them.

Accepting requests is a fantastic way to build connections and have things to talk about. Submitting requests, too.

Pay attention to the fandom tags and how they are used.

@aurorawritestoescape: I’m sure they have their fav writers/writers who inspire them and I saw many say that they love to be tagged in other ppl’s fics [toxy note: agree, please feel free to tag me!]

@beefrobeefcal: Dive in feet first. Throw caution to the wind. The first five tags are the one tumblr recognizes for some weird reason. Tag who you inspires you. No door is bolted shut in this community and everyone is welcome! [toxy note: hard agree!]

You've got this, it's gonna be great! Excited for you. Feel free to follow up if you have more specific concerns or questions. My DMs are open too. If you tell me the fandom I might have other ideas.

#fandom #fandom culture #writing advice #kind of #toxask

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dusty-daydreams · 2 days

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What bothers me is some people appear to think of Eloise as a "Not Like Other Girls" type of "feminist", which is not how I read her at all. I don't see her as thinking any less of other ladies, she just has nothing in common with them. Which is probably very lonely! And yes, unlike other women out in society, she does have the privilege of a family that will support her in spite of her radical politics, and she has been growing (and needs to do more growing) in her understanding of that privilege. (She can daydream about being a spinster because she can afford to be one.) But I've really liked her arc this season, with her trying to make new female friends even as she struggles to find commonalities.

I totally agree Anon!

Eloise is absolutely not a ‘Not like Other Girls’ woman. Just because she thinks differently than other people around does not make her a ‘Not like Other Girls’ because she (for the most part) doesn’t disparage other women when Francesca says she wants to take a “get it over with” approach to the marriage mart she is supportive. When she finds out that Penelope enjoys society and high society events, she indirectly apologises for acting in away that meant that Penelope couldn’t talk to her about it.

Plus for the most part her frustration is directed at men who view women as inferior, and at sexist systems.

I had hoped that this season would have had her continue to build on her progress last season when she began to realise she is not the first person to have these ideas, and in fact there is a brewing grass roots movement going on. That storyline could have continued without her visiting the radicals, by showing her reading things or talking to Benedict about the rights of the working classes or trying to discuss aspects of her feminism with Cressida. Like seriously I think queen bitch Cressida would be all for certain feminist ideals at the time like changing laws surrounding property ownership, and inheritance.

However I wish the show would have her family be more emotionally supportive towards her, like she has a comparatively very good home life, but it feels like most of her siblings treat her and her politics as a bit of a joke.

Which leads me to my other point, I don’t think the show actually knows what to do with Eloise and her feminism and they too often treat it like a joke. The show has become so unrooted from historical realities that the misogyny in the setting is extremely vague and changes to suit the plot, which makes having a character that is coherently fighting against that misogyny impossible.

Like Eloise went from arguing that women should be allowed to be admitted to university in season 1 when things were (a little bit) more historically grounded, to very vaguely saying that Women would have so much more time on their hands if they didn’t have to think about marriage all the time.

The devolution in the show is clear, in season 1, the alternate history was the removing of (certain types of) racism from admits English nobility and gentry, but the misogyny of 1813 was alive and well, women needed to marry because that was where her value and security was, women didn’t have alternatives to marriage for economic security. Now in 1815 and with the fantasy of the show taking over - women need to marry because what - that’s what she is supposed to do, and that social pressure is bad - but it’s not a true systemic problem?

Basically the show has lost any historical grounding it could have claimed to had, and as such Eloise’s feminism is just as vague as the misogyny she is fighting against. Which means that the show inevitably plays Eloise being a character in a Romance show that disdains romance a joke and not an interesting facet of her character the way it was shaping up to be in season 2

That said I did enjoy an Eloise cut off from a Penelope that pretended to care and agree with her politics, trying to make new friends, and trying to honestly engage in their interests.

#Bridgerton #anti bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #asks

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totheidiot · 1 month

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i hate that the solar eclipse just now serves as a reminder that nobody loves me.

#🍂 arian's shit #IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HAPPENED. but yeah #i will always think of the solar eclipse i witnessed and think about that #two people one of them my friend the other i thought i could consider my friend but HE PROBABLY DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT.#they both talked and did their things and laughed and they are so damn close to each other it almost made me cry and reminded me that #it was such a profound moment too when i realized what was going on #they were in another world that didn't have me and i get that. i do. they have known each other for a year and i abruptly showed up #two months ago and one of them we are getting close she likes me around #at least i think #the other one he is nice he is supposed to be like this he is nice to everyone that is who he is #so what is happening: he is completely indifferent to me. most he did was remember my name and face. but he is nice.#i like them both so so much it almosg does hurt when i stood there awkwardly almost like i was intruding #and i realized that i have never not been close to anyone #no acquaintances all the friendships i have had they sre the reason why i live and i know that they live for me too #we have known each other since kindergarten. they held my face and cried and told me that i was love when i was leaving for the last time #they love me. i am sure of it.#but now i don't have anyone near whom i do love. people don't love me. i used to be love.#it also hurts that i am Average Person In The World #i am not funny. i do not have unique quirks. i do not have a single talent.#all i am good for is saying the wrong things all time.#even in my old life i was someone. someone who isn't the same as the person who saw the solar eclipse today and felt all this #i was the idiot. I WAS THE IDIOT. i was the writer person.#i don't feel like any of these things now. they had a thing in common: their capacity to love and be loved.#i love very easily but i am not an easy person to love.#vent post #god this is such a small little thing i am the most pathetic thing in the world #feel free to scroll away don't even read this shit #arian contemplates his universe

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amphibifish · 2 months

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HEY FISH im curious what do you think about mcga loki. like as a character and loki adaptation

oh my god im so late to responding to this lmao i did not get anotifcation for this but ANYWAY

character wise i like him for what he is ! obviously hes the very common evil loki wants to start ragnarok antagonist but i think his scenes (visions?) with magnus are all very interesting and he's just entertaining to read/watch lol I haven't finished the third book yet so i'm still very curious to exactly what happened with randolph and his plan to foil loki's plans.

as for loki adaptation, he's very entertaining but i don't tend to gravitate towards portrayals of them that make them extra evil and malicious. i do like that iirc the grief and pain the aesir put him through was mentioned but it doesn't seem to be touched upon too much after the first(?) book. i def get a diff vibe from him compared to myth!loki and he just generally seems more malicious than them lol but overall i can appreciate mcga!loki for what he was meant to achieve ^_^ (also i just like him for being like the one other god thats meant to be taken seriously lol)

#do my thoughts on his adaptation make any sense i just think mcga loki is a lot more stereotypically evil and thats a common adaption of him #thats like. okay. to me. but i don't feel too strongly abt it either way but its def a little bit. ehhhh. to me.#i try not to judge too much character-wise on the mythology but when the base is the myths a little bit of it seeps in there lol #fish.answers #mgca #ross tag #< idk if i had a tag for you b4 but now i do :3 #OH while im thinkning about the mythological accuracy of mgca my one little nitpick was that rick riordan attributed the wedding idea to #loki when it was literally heimdallr and thats it thats my one notable complaint #other than that overall i find the whole thing to be very well researched and very entertaining !!!!!

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stonersolana · 1 month

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it's so fun when the people who took everything from you claim to be the real victims. like, y'all want to dump a years-long friendship in a dumpster fire just cause you're in a romantic relationship and that's the only thing that matters to you, go fucking ahead. but don't pretend to be the victim when you were the one who destroyed it.

you don't get to take literally everything from me and claim that you were the real victim when the only thing you didn't take was the skin off my bones.

#sunbun speaks #i keep having nightmares/memories of the 3-ish people who literally left me with nothing but the clothes on my back #and kept asking for more because it wasn't enough #or the fact that every single one of them basically turned into whoever their partner wanted them to be and would ditch their own parents #if their partner told them they didn't like them anymore #using me as a scapegoat whenever they had negative feelings and accuse me of being the source instead of a voice of reason #or just straight up getting pissed at me when i wasn't going to play their toxic game #and by the end of it all i had nothing: no clothes or any of my stuff no money nowhere to go and no friends #they destroyed my life while i was barely a blip in theirs #people who grew up with wealthy parents are fucking pricks #because yeah that's another thing they all had in common other than being codependent af: they all grew up with upper-middle class parents #they just took and took and took and tossed me aside #cause btw it's really hard to get back a lifetimes worth of stuff in only a few years with no money #i still remember everything they took from me and not just material possessions #and in the end they wanted me to apologize to them for being inadequate in filling my role as emotional punching bag #only for none of them to feel any remorse and get mad at me for implying they did anything that i didn't deserve #even looking at my life now i only have my partner and my kids #as much as i try i can't fix the fact that I'm autistic which means i will always struggle with human interaction #so it's not like it's easy to make friends #especially not friends who don't religiously devote themselves at the alter of toxic monogamy and view anyone else as 'extra' and disposable #in a matter of three years those three people took everything from me and despite it being 6 years later i am STILL recovering what i lost #how can you destroy someone's life who never did anything to you and still consider yourself the victim

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mako-island-moon-pool · 2 months

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Why am I flipping tf out over my roommate going into my room when I wasn't home and leaving a package on my bed it's literally not a big deal and they were trying to be helpful but I am shaking right now I should be happy I got my new favorite shirt but I'm so angry

#Like genuinely seething with rage over something so innocuous I shouldn't be angry #But at the same time I'm like...#The door was shut. When did I ever say you could come in here (I didn't). I wasn't home. Don't touch my stuff. You could have left it #Outside the door. My room is a mess and they saw. AND DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF #I feel like I shouldn't have to sit them down and be like 'hey I don't want you going in my room when I didn't say you could go in there'#Like I feel like that's common sense when u live with other people but I guess not?????#Like it really bothers me cuz I'd NEVER go into someone's room when they weren't there w/o express permission #Fucks sake I linger outside the doorway til they say I can come in when they are there and we're talking #I feel like that's just basic decency because it's their space #Why can't you respect mine and not go in my room when you don't have permission?????#At least text me first????!#THE DOOR WAS SHUT THATS WHAT'S REALLY BOTHERING ME #THE DOOR WAS SHUT WHY WOULD YOU LOOK AT A CLOSED DOOR TO SOMEONE'S BEDROOM AND JUST WALK IN WITHOUT EVER ASKING #Sorry. I know I'm being super irrational right now #I just. My mom used to go through my stuff when I lived at home and throw out whatever she wanted #She would wait until I left the house and then throw things out and leave the rest in a giant pile of trash on the floor #It was always when I was having a decent day too. She'd treat me totally normally the whole way home and then I'd walk into my room to it #Absolutely destroyed and her response was always a cool 'well you should have cleaned it then'#I used to have to dig through the garbage to get the stuff I had attachments to back #She once threw out an entire shoebox filled with my drawings because it was 'too messy' but literally the lid was slightly askew from being #Overfilled. Instead of getting me a bigger container or another shoebox she just fucking tossed it #I lost so much childhood art from that it's part of the reason I refuse to throw anything I've ever drawn away #Anyway this is why I'm overreacting and being irrational and not letting people walk all over me with no complaints #Don't worry though I'm working on squishing any other reservations I have about being a doormat #That way in a couple more years I'll just be a shell of a person and then people will finally like having me around #AJDGDHDHDBMSBDGDJDHDBDMDBDBDN #Grumble grumble

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teaboot · 1 month

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This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

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inkskinned · 5 months

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i love finding out how big this world is. my girlfriend has only visited boston a handful of times, but i grew up here. i told her we'd be going to do the tourist traps in salem, and she said - which salem?

to be fair to her, there are a lot of other states that have a town named "salem." and i think there's some evidence that the witch trials actually happened in what is now called Danvers. but the thing is - she thought "salem" was like, a made-up thing. there wasn't actually a salem, massachusetts - like there isn't a gotham city.

they don't talk about it that much where she grew up, is the thing! and this made me laugh. a week ago she was talking about her hometown and said something akin to "well the museum's kinda like the one in richmond," and i had to explain i still had no frame of reference for what the hell this museum was like.

i love finding out what knowledge i take for granted. i used to live with 5 other women. 3 of them were from south korea. they had to take, like, a solid fifteen minutes to explain their birthday system to my gay math-blind ass, laughing as they did.

that same month, our roommate from denmark taught me the danish word for wreath by accident - she'd been talking about decorations, used krans, and i'd been able to figure it out through context. i just picked it up and kept talking. our entire house used krans as the word. she came home and slammed the door one evening, mock-angry, shouting: you motherfuckers! it's a - a wreath!

and how often do you use certain words, anyway! i am cuban, so i was raised with certain spanish words sort of sprinkled in there; but never how you'd think. in middle school i asked someone to pass me the recogedor - in a completely american accent, like i was speaking english. i hadn't registered it as a spanish word. i mean, how often in school do you actually use the word "dustpan" - i'd only ever heard it in the context of cleaning my house.

there are places that you grew up that you, just, like, know. that you assume everyone knows. there are things and people and "common knowledge" that you have that, just, like. doesn't exist for me. i don't know what you call your public transportation system, but in boston we call it "the T". our train cards are called charlie cards because of a song where a father accidentally abandons his family, which was written because our system of transportation. in boston, most people would snort and say everyone knows that, kid.

i think you and i should go on a long walk - it's getting dark early these days and we need any sun we can manage. tell me about the first time you saw snow. tell me about the stuff everyone knows about your home. tell me about the cities "everyone's been to," about the food "everyone's already tried." who knows. maybe it will feel nice to you - watching someone learn about it for the very first time.

#spilled ink #warm up #4/10 #loved this interaction with them tho i have to be honest.

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fuckyeahisawthat · 2 months

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Controversial opinion among Dune book fans maybe, but I loved the changes they made to Chani's character. Making her a fedaykin who is already an experienced fighter before Paul arrives was a brilliant choice. Dune Part Two is a war movie, and this puts her at the center of the action, side by side with Paul, and gives her a much more active role than she has in the book.

We got a hint of where things were going in the beginning of Dune Part One. The first thing we ever know about movie Chani is that she's a fighter. She serves as a voice for the Fremen, telling us the story of their struggle from her point of view. I wrote here about the difference this change makes compared to other adaptations of Dune, what a perspective shift it is to have the world of Arrakis introduced not by an outsider, describing it as a dangerous but valuable colonial prize, but by one of its native inhabitants, who tells us before all else that it's beautiful, her home that she's fighting to liberate. I am so, so glad that the second movie followed up on this characterization.

I never found Chani and Paul's love story in the book particularly convincing, because why would this woman, who already has a prominent and respected place in Fremen society, even give the time of day to her deposed would-be colonizer, let alone fall in love and have children with him? Without a compelling reason for Chani to love Paul, she ends up feeling like a prize to be won, and "indigenous culture personified as a woman to be wooed (or conquered) by the colonizing man" is a trope we've seen and don't need to repeat.

But as soon as you tell me it's a barricade romance I get it. Cool cool cool, I know exactly what this relationship is now and it makes sense. Movie Chani doesn't respect or even particularly like Paul when she first meets him, and she doesn't think he's the fulfillment of any prophecy. She comes to respect him, and eventually love him, through his actions. He's brave--sometimes recklessly so. He fights well. He's willing to stick his neck out on the front lines with the other Fremen fighters. He can (after a little help) hack surviving in the harsh desert environment. He's not too proud to learn from others. He seems to genuinely want to be her equal in a common political struggle. All these qualities make sense as things she values.

Fighting side by side as equals is just about the only way I can see movie Chani falling for Paul. And it fits perfectly with the film's pattern of reversals that Paul's capacity for violence would initially be one of the things Chani likes about him, only for her to be repelled later when she sees what he becomes.

And as for Paul, well, he's had people deferring to him his entire life. Someone who doesn't take any shit from him is probably refreshing. He seems to like people (Duncan, Gurney) who challenge him and engage in a little friendly teasing--and aren't afraid to go a few rounds in the sparring ring.

It's easy to speedrun a romance when you're spending all your time together in mortal danger fighting for a shared political cause. Especially if you then start winning in a war your people have been fighting for decades. Are you kidding me? That is the perfect environment for intense battle camaraderie to turn into romantic love, and lust.

It makes sense that this version of Chani never believes Paul is any kind of messiah. Of course a character like movie Chani wouldn't believe in or trust some outside savior to liberate them. She's been working to liberate her own people for years. The more Paul invokes the messianic myth, the more he starts sounding once again like someone who plans to rule over them, and the more uncomfortable Chani becomes. In this way she becomes a foil to Jessica, the two of them representing the choices Paul is pulled between. It's a great way of externalizing the political and philosophical debates that often happen within characters' heads in the book.

And of course this version of Chani would leave Paul at the end of the film. It's not just the personal, emotional betrayal--although that stings. What common cause does she have with someone who just declared himself emperor and is sending her own people off in a war of conquest against others? Given the important role she plays in Dune Messiah, I am super curious to see how they get her back into the story, but girl was so valid for being willing to just gtfo. Given that she has the last shot of the whole movie, I'm sure she'll be back somehow, and I can't wait to see what they do with her character in any future installments.

#dune #dune part two #dune part 2 #chani kynes #paul atreides #adaptation #dune spoilers

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theostrophywife · 7 months

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agora hills.

pairing: lorenzo berkshire x reader.

song inspiration: agora hills by doja cat.

author's note: as always, this unhinged fic idea started in chlo and i's endless chats about these pesky men. enzo has a special place in my heart because he's so golden retriever sunshine (don't be fooled by that face though he's filthy).

Enzo Berkshire was your best friend.

Despite what your friends seemed to think, the relationship between you two had always been strictly platonic. Perhaps it was easy to misinterpret your actions as romantic. After all, you and Enzo were very touchy and affectionate people. It was typical of you two to hold hands in the halls, cuddle in the common room, and even share the occasional cheek or forehead kiss, which you deemed completely normal. This type of behavior has been the standard since you were eleven years old.

Still, you weren’t blind. You knew your best friend was attractive. Enzo had always been handsome in your eyes, but then fourth year rolled around and everyone else started to notice it too. To be fair, he had grown at least a foot over the summer and quidditch definitely helped him pack on lean muscle. Needless to say, girls flocked to him like a swarm of bees to honey, but he never really seemed interested in any of them. Not that you were paying attention. It was a natural thing to notice when you spent every waking moment with someone.

The point of the matter was that you had absolutely no romantic feelings for Enzo whatsoever. Or so you thought. Until the bloody dream that flipped your friendship on its head.

It was a normal day. You and Enzo were studying in your dorm like you usually did after class. Enzo was sprawled out on the rug scribbling away for his assignment on Ancient Runes. You were on your bed reading up on History of Magic. You knew you should be focusing since there would be a test tomorrow, but the chapter was boring and you were absolutely knackered from attending classes all day.

Before you knew it, you were fully knocked out. A part of you was aware that you were dreaming, but the surreality of it blurred the lines of reality.

In your dreams, you were still in your room studying with Enzo. Except your best friend was no longer hunched over his homework on your rug. Now Enzo was standing at the edge of your bed, blocking out the afternoon sun. You stared up in confusion as he took the book from your hands.

“Enz? What are you doing?”

Enzo stared intently at you, his soft hazel eyes flickering down to your lips. It was a little like being hit with a beam of sunshine. Your heart stuttered in your chest as he ran his thumb across your bottom lip.

“I want to try something.”

You held your breath as Enzo leaned over. The bed dipped from his weight as you sat frozen in place. He rubbed soothing circles along your wrist, causing you to melt into his touch. It was a familiar sensation, one that always calmed you down but right at that moment, you felt anything but. The beat of your heart echoed so loudly that you were sure he could hear it.

Enzo leaned in close, his face mere inches away from yours. He stroked your cheek gently. “I want to kiss you,” he murmured, the low whisper of his voice conjuring goosebumps along your arms. “Can I?”

You blinked, swallowing thickly. He was so close that you could smell the woodsy smell of his cologne, combined with a hint of fresh laundry and citrus.

“Yes,” you responded breathily.

Before you could think better of it, Enzo was kissing you. It was soft and sweet, his kisses gentle while he tested the waters. The quick little pecks soon evolved into deeper kisses as your body responded to his touch. Your hands moved outside of your own volition, fingers tangling in Enzo’s hair as you pulled him closer. He groaned and tilted your head back for a better angle, your bodies pressed close together and radiating heat underneath your clothes.

Enzo scooted back on the headboard and pulled you into his lap without breaking the kiss. You gasped when his hands roamed underneath your skirt, gripping your thighs so that you were fully settled over his length. What started as a sweet innocent kiss escalated into a full on heated makeout session. Kissing till your lips were swollen. Moaning into each other’s mouths. Grasping at every inch of skin the two of you could reach.

When you felt him grind his hardness against your backside, you gasped. Enzo took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, swirling and sucking until you were panting above him.

“Y/N,” he grunted huskily. “I need you.”

The desperation in Enzo’s voice made you shudder. You didn’t even think twice before unbuckling his belt and tugging his boxers down. Enzo groaned as he stroked himself, pulling your panties to the side. You whimpered as he teased his tip at your entrance.

“I want you so fucking bad.”

“I want you too, Enzo.”

Friendship be damned, Enzo gripped your hips and watched as you sank into him. His eyes rolled back when he felt your warmth and wetness hug around his cock.

“Fuck,” he groaned, resting his head in the crook of your neck. “Gods, you feel so fucking good. Better than I imagined.”

You clenched at his words and he inhaled sharply before rolling your hips to set the pace. Once you established a steady rhythm, Enzo pinned you with his lust blown gaze and watched as you rode him. He lavished you with sloppy kisses, stopping every now and then to moan into your mouth while you continued rolling your hips against him.

“That’s it, princess. Feels good, yeah? Keep rolling your hips just like that,” Enzo said, thrusting upwards to fuck into you. “Wanna feel you cum on my cock, pretty girl.”

The filthy words sent you over the edge. Just as Enzo hit that perfect spot, your eyes flew open.

You were startled to find yourself back in your dorm, warm, sweaty, and alone in bed. You nearly fell off altogether when you found Enzo still sitting on the rug below you. While you were dreaming about doing filthy things with him, Enzo was completely oblivious and focused on studying. Like you should’ve been.

Enzo perked up, concern written all over his face when he saw how flushed you were. He immediately rushed over to your side. Your cheeks were so red that he thinks you might be running a fever. Enzo pressed the back of his hand against your forehead and you bit down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from moaning.

“You’re burning up, Y/N.” Enzo sounded genuinely worried. If only he knew the reason why you currently shared the same temperature as the common room fireplace. “Maybe I should walk you over to the infirmary?”

“No!” Your voice echoed shrilly in your dorm, causing you to wince. “I’m fine. I just…I just need fresh air.”

“Oh good, I’ll come walk with you.”

“No,” you said rather harshly. Enzo frowned. “I, uh, I think I should go alone.”

Now Enzo was truly perturbed. He pouted at your refusal. Why didn’t you want him to come? You always walked around the Black Lake together.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Y/N?”

He squinted at you, hoping to catch your gaze. You completely avoided looking him in the eyes before scrambling out of bed.

“I’m fine, really. I’ll see you later, Enz.”

You were out the door before Enzo even had a chance to respond.

You were acting like a bloody idiot.

After that unfortunate afternoon, you spent the next few days avoiding Enzo. The dream had completely flustered you. It was impossible to be in the same room as your best friend. You couldn’t even look Enzo in the eyes without thinking of him being inside of you.

More than that, it was making you rethink your entire friendship. You adored Enzo. He had been a constant in your life since first year. The two of you were inseparable and he was pretty much the most important person in your life. You had never once thought about him in a sexual manner, but obviously you were attracted to him given the filthy thoughts that flooded your mind like a plague.

You were praying to Merlin that this stupid little lapse of yours would pass and take all the hormone addled aftereffects with it. Perhaps it was just lack of physical affection that was causing you to think this way. After all, you had broken up with your last boyfriend months ago. There was the casual hookup every now and then, but those never really satisfied you in the way that you wanted. It certainly wasn’t anything like how Enzo had been in your dream.

As you cataloged and compared your most recent stints, the intrusive thought slipped in without warning. There were no secrets between you and Enzo, so you knew that it had been awhile since he hooked up with anyone else too. Come to think of it, except for a couple flings here and there, Enzo has never really had a serious relationship.

You never really thought much about it. It wasn’t like you were running headfirst into commitment either, but now you couldn’t help but wonder why Enzo had never had a girlfriend. Were relationships just not his cup of tea? If so, why the bloody hell not?

By the time you had unraveled that string, Pansy was snapping her fingers in front of your face. You shook your head and rejoined the present. Before your little spiral, you and Pansy had been discussing the homework for Charms.

Your friend narrowed her eyes on you. “Alright, spill,” Pansy said. “There’s clearly something on your mind.”

You peered around the common room. For the most part, it was empty. Only a few of the other Slytherins lingered in your midst, but one could never be too careful in the viper’s nest.

Once you were sure the coast was clear, you leaned closer to Pansy and spoke in a low voice. “Have you ever had a dream about one of the guys?”

Pansy leaned back on the velvet emerald couch with an expression of intrigue. “What kind of dream?”

“You know,” you urged, picking at the cushion in your lap. “The sexual kind.”

She shook her head, her glossy bob shimmering in the faint light. “No, I can’t say that I have.”

“I have!” Theo said cheerfully as he plopped down between you. His presence startled you, but he looked utterly unperturbed as he butted into the conversation. “About both of you, actually.”

You wrinkled your nose and smacked him on the arm. “Gross, Theo.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” Pansy said with a look of disgust.

Theo was deeply offended by it all. “What? I’ll have you know that I was very loving and gentle,” you groaned and made a gagging sound. “I also had one about Reg and that one wasn’t as gentle, if you know what I mean.”

He grinned cheekily, which only made you lament further. Pansy shook her head in disbelief. “Really, Regulus? He’s the human equivalent of a grumpy black cat. All the first years are terrified of him.”

Theo shrugged. “What can I say? I’m into that. All that surliness and those curls, y’know…”

It was Pansy’s turn to smack him. “For Salazar’s fucking sake, shut it, Theodore. I want to know who Y/N had a dream about.”

“Was it Riddle?” Theo prompted.

“Which one?”

“Mattheo, obviously. Tom looks like he hasn’t had a woman’s touch in years.”

“That’s mean!” you cut in. “I’m telling Tom you said that.”

“Please don’t. I value my life, thank you very much.”

Pansy scoffed. “It’s not either one of the Riddles then.”

“Was it me?” asked Theo.

“Gods, no.”

He rolled his eyes in response. “It can’t be Blaise because him and Pans are shagging on the daily.” Theo’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me it’s Malfoy.”

“Absolutely not.”

“But he’s close, right?” Pansy said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. You nodded weakly. She gasped. “Oh my god, Berkshire? Really?”

You buried your face in your hands. You were truly going to die of embarrassment. Pansy continued with her assessment. “Well, you two are practically attached at the hip, so it makes sense. Still, I truly didn’t expect it to be Enzo. He’s so sweet, I just can’t see him that way.”

The shit-eating grin on Theo’s face made you cringe. “Was it good? It had to be, right? Is that why you’ve been avoiding him all week?”

“What? I haven’t been avoiding him.”

“Sure you have,” declared Theo. “Berkshire’s all broken up about it. Thinks he’s done something to upset you. The whole time you’ve been nursing filthy little fantasies about sweet baby boy Enzo. Oh, I can’t wait to tell the guys about this.”

Panic seized you and Theo yelped as you held his arm in a death grip. “You can’t say a fucking word, Theo. Do you hear me? It’s already humiliating enough to have a sex dream about my best friend. I will literally murder you if you tell any of the boys.”

Theo sighed. “Fine, I won’t tell. Now let go of me, woman.”

“What are you going to do?” asked Pansy. “You can’t keep avoiding Enzo forever.”

You sighed. You were completely and utterly at a loss. Pansy was right. Enzo was already starting to suspect something and you felt bad that he thought he’d done something to upset you when you were the one in the wrong. How could you possibly act normal after all of this?

“Maybe you should ask him if he’s ever thought about you that way,” Theo suggested. “That way the ball’s in his court.”

You scoffed. “I’m supposed to just come up to him and casually ask, Hey Enz, have you ever had a sex dream about me that was so filthy that you couldn’t make eye contact for days after?”

“I guarantee you the answer will be yes.”

As you chided Theo for being his usual ridiculous self, Pansy discretely nudged you. Enzo rounded the corner and waved at the three of you. Theo and Pansy shared a look before leaving you to your own devices. Bloody traitors.

Enzo was unbothered by their sudden departure. “Hi, love. I haven’t seen you all week. You haven’t been avoiding me, have you?”

His tone was light and playful, but it still made you nervous as all hell. “No, not at all,” you internally cringed at the forced cheeriness in your voice. “I’ve just been…busy. Yeah, that’s it. No other reason.”

For Salazar’s fucking sake. You were horrible at this. Lying to Enzo wasn’t something you were used to.

Enzo nodded. “Okay, well we’re still on for movie night, right?”

“Oh, yeah, about that—“

“It shouldn't be a problem,” he added thoughtfully, shooting you a cheeky grin. “Unless you’re actually avoiding me.”

Fuck. Your mind was screaming at you to say no. To make up some lame excuse. To do something other than gape at Enzo.

Unfortunately, your brain decided to stop working as soon as those dimples of his made an appearance. Merlin’s bloody beard, you truly needed to get a grip.

You forced yourself to smile back so he wouldn’t think anything was amiss. “”I was just going to ask what snacks you wanted.”

“Just you,” Enzo said, his grin growing wider. Did his voice suddenly sound deeper than it had a few seconds ago? No, it was likely just your delusion. “That’s all I need.”

Later that night, Enzo arrived with the projector and a handful of movie choices. You spent the entire afternoon pacing and working yourself into a fit. He was entirely unaware of the cloud of anxiety hanging over you as he loaded up your favorite movie.

Your dorm had never felt as cramped as it did at this moment. Enzo plopped down on your bed. The scene of the crime. You climbed in on the other end and resigned yourself to sitting perfectly upright and rigid while he made himself comfortable. Enzo looked at you strangely. Usually, the two of you would be cuddling.

“What are you doing all the way over there?” Enzo asked, spreading his arms out. “Come cuddle.”

You sighed internally. This felt like tempting fate, but what could you do? If you refused, Enzo would definitely know that something was up. As slow as a snail, you scooted closer to his side. He took one look at you and shook his head before hauling you over to him. Besides being manhandled, the position was quite familiar. You tucked against his side, head resting on his shoulder while he nuzzled his cheek against your hair.

Enzo pressed play and you started to relax while the movie unfolded. The peace didn’t last for long. As the opening scene played, Enzo absentmindedly tugged at the hem of your shirt. Again, his affectionate nature wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Yet you couldn’t help but hold your breath as he rubbed soothing circles against your hip. While the gesture usually comforted you, it had the opposite effect now.

“You’re so tense, love,” Enzo murmured. His voice sounded so deep and delicious.

“It’s been a stressful week.”

“I bet.”

You shuddered as he trailed his fingers over your spine, drawing patterns along your skin. Temptation wasn’t knocking at your door. It was kicking it down altogether. Enzo shifted, brushing his knuckles just below the hook of your bra.

“This can’t be comfortable,” he said, hooking a finger around the band. “Maybe you’ll feel more relaxed with it off. Don’t you think so, sweetheart?”

There was no time to analyze what the fuck was going on. All of your efforts were spent solely on fighting the urge to moan. Enzo toyed with the band, waiting for your answer.

“Yeah,” you said breathily. “I think—I think you’re right.”

“Course I am. Let me take it off for you then, yeah?”

“Okay.”

Enzo unhooked your bra with a flick of his fingers. Almost like he had long mastered the art and this was merely just child’s play. He helped you shrug out of your bra and carelessly tossed it to the side. You sighed softly as Enzo switched to long, purposeful strokes. He started at your hips, then your stomach, gradually moving up until he was barely an inch away from the underside of your breasts. Your eyes fluttered close, completely lost to his touch. They opened again when Enzo nuzzled his nose against yours.

“Hi,” he said with a smile.

“Hi,” you whispered. “What are we doing, Enzo?”

“Nothing that I haven’t thought about a million times over.”

“You’ve thought about me like this?”

“I’m always thinking about you,” Enzo admitted. “Sometimes it’s just cuddling or holding hands. Just sweet stuff cause I love touching you like this, but other times…other times I dream about you like you dreamt about me.”

Your breath hitched. “You know about my dream?”

“I heard you in the common room earlier.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I don’t know what came over me. That’s why I haven’t talked to you much this week. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Enzo took your hand and slid it down the front of his gray sweatpants. You gasped when you felt how hard he was against your palm. “Do I feel uncomfortable to you, sweetheart?”

You shook your head, biting down on your lip. You didn’t trust yourself with words at the moment. Enzo nuzzled against you, littering soft little kisses in his wake. He pecked and nipped at your neck, your collarbone, your jaw.

“You drive me fucking mad, you know that? I want you so badly I’d literally get on my knees and beg if you asked.”

The tension was too much for you to bear. You pulled him in by the front of his shirt and pressed your lips against his. Enzo groaned into your mouth. The hand underneath your shirt crawled up until he was cupping your tits, rubbing his thumb over your nipples. Enzo tried to keep the kisses soft. He intended to savor it, but every ounce of self control went out the window the second he heard you moan.

Enzo flipped you over so that you were straddling his lap. He looked down and realized that you were wearing one of his old shirts and the sight of it made him even harder. The tiny shorts you were wearing was a pesky little barrier, but it didn’t stop him from grinding his hardness against your ass. He tugged at the hem of your shirt.

“Take this off, right now. I need to feel you, pretty girl.”

He watched as you peeled off the shirt. Enzo did the same, tossing both articles of clothing over the side of your bed. He groaned at the skin to skin contact. Enzo smiled as he drank it all in.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

“You’re not bad to look at either, Enz.”

Enzo chuckled. “Cheeky girl. Come on, then. Shorts off too.”

You took off your shorts as Enzo slipped out of his sweatpants and boxers. He kissed you again, sloppy, filthy, and downright obscene. There was plenty of panting and groping as the two of you explored each other’s bodies. Enzo practically purred into your ear as you rubbed over his shaft. He felt like velvet in your hands. When you flicked your thumb to spread the bead of precum over his tip, Enzo released an animalistic growl.

“Oh fuck,” he whimpered. “Gods, I need to be inside of you right fucking now or I’ll die.”

There was no time to slide off your panties. Enzo merely yanked it to the side and guided you over him. He kept his eyes on you as you sank down slowly, taking him inch by inch. Enzo groaned, digging his fingers into your hips while you adjusted to his size.

“Goddamn, you’re so wet and so fucking tight.”

You had no idea that such filthy words could sound like music in your ears. Enzo may have been sweet as sugar, but you knew that he wasn’t innocent. He was far too cheeky to be anything but downright dirty in bed.

Enzo was also extremely responsive. He made sure to praise and worship like your body was an altar and he was the most pious believer.

“Enz, gods,” you moaned as he flicked his tongue over your nipple. “You’re really good at that.”

“Yeah?” He asked cheekily. “You think so?”

You chuckled. It was such an Enzo comment. If you weren’t actively losing your mind, you might’ve rolled your eyes at him. Whatever fantasy your mind has conjured paled in comparison to reality. Sex with Enzo was easy. You knew him and you trusted him. It was like breathing air.

Every moan and whimper only helped you grow more and more attuned with each other’s bodies. The sounds you made were a special language of its own, one that only you and Enzo understood.

“That’s it, princess. You’re taking me so well.”

“Like that?” you asked, rolling your hips.

Enzo groaned in response, which made you smirk in satisfaction. He chuckled and kissed you deeply. “Ride me harder, sweetheart. Fuck…yeah just like that.”

He moaned into your mouth, meeting the roll of your hips with thrusts of his own. Enzo pressed his forehead against your, his long lashes kissing the tops of your cheekbones while he pressed you closer. The deep angle in which he drove into you had you clawing at his back.

“Oh gods, oh fuck. I can feel you clenching around me, pretty girl. You’re gonna cum for me like a good girl, yeah?”

“I’m so close.” Enzo flipped you onto your back and fucked you into the mattress. The tension uncoiled in your core until you were panting, chasing after that sweet release. “Oh—oh gods, Enzo.”

The orgasm knocked the very breath from your lungs. It was a total out of body experience. Your back arched, your toes curled, and you screamed his name, but none of it registered past the pleasure of coming. As soon as Enzo felt you creaming him from base to tip, he came too.

It was strangely beautiful to watch. Enzo was mesmerizing. With his sweat slicked skin and swollen lips, strands of his dark hair clinging onto his flushed cheeks. You’ve never seen such a pretty sight.

The two of you stayed curled up into each other. Enzo slowly pulled out and placed a tender kiss on your temple. This time, there wasn’t a single hint of hesitation as you cuddled up against his side. He was warm and comfortable, lulling you into sleep as he tangled his long legs with yours.

You didn’t know how long you drifted off. It only felt like a few seconds later when you found yourself on your stomach, blinking sleepily up at Enzo. He smiled, kissing along your spine as he pried your legs apart. You groaned into the pillow as he thrusted lazily from behind.

It was dark as night outside when you were finally done. You couldn’t even remember how many times he made you cum. All you knew was that you were in complete bliss as you and Enzo sprawled out on your sheets.

You looked up at Enzo. He looked down at you. The two of you burst into a nervous fit of giggles.

“Shit. Did we just—“

He nodded, curling a strand of your hair through his fingers. “Yeah, we definitely did. Two. Three. Four times? I honestly lost count.”

You chuckled softly. There was a moment of silence as you collected yourself. Enzo lowered himself down so that you were facing each other.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked, nudging your cheek with his nose. “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, pretty girl.”

Despite your steamy activities, you had never felt more shy than when he brushed his lips across your knuckles.

“I care about you, Enzo and I know you care about me too. Tonight was….fuck. Tonight was great. I just want to make sure this doesn’t change our friendship.”

“Of course it’s going to change things,” Enzo said matter-of-factly. “You think I can stay just friends with you after that?”

You swallowed thickly. “I don’t want you to feel obligated. I know you don’t really date. I mean, half the school’s asked you out and you’ve turned them all down, so I’m not expecting to be the exception. It’s alright if you just want this to be casual.”

“I don’t. I’ve said no to everyone because I’ve been waiting for you. You are the exception, Y/N. It’s always been you.”

“Really?” you whispered, biting back a smile. “You mean that?”

Enzo nodded and kissed your fingertips. “Sweetheart, you’ve had me in the palm of your hands since we were eleven. Of course I mean it.”

You didn’t try to hide your smile. You were absolutely beaming. “So you don’t want things to be casual?”

“There’s nothing casual about what I feel for you.”

“Okay,” you said, processing his revelation. “I don’t want things to be casual either. It might be selfish, but I think I want you all to myself, Enzo.”

He released a sigh of relief. “Oh thank fucking Merlin. I want you all to myself too, Y/N.”

#i hope you all see him for what he is now which is a sl*t #enzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire #enzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire x reader #enzo berkshire x you #lorenzo berkshire x you #lorenzo berkshire imagine

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