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its-in-the-woods · 19 days

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Chapter 2 of down the rabbit hole

Chapter one here chap three

MDNI

Pairing: Walton Goggins x You

Rating: Not much for this, brief mention of SA, mention of alcohol.

Slow build like novel damn length okay, Very Fluffy, Pinch of Angst, Relationship Development, Hurt/Comfort, Older man/ Younger(30s) women, Alternative universe, fictional work (IDK WHY BUT I AM PUTTING IT) Probably more as I go.

Synopsis: Working in film as a make-up artist is hard enough, but then Walton Goggins requests you, well it's way too easy to fall down the rabbit hole.

Note: they are both single, all for fun.

WARNING I do not have this all written out, I do have it plotted out, but it may be a little slower for chapters to come out. Please bear with me. If you know a Beta to edit please send them to me.

*Before we get into things. Thank you 100x for all the love. It means the world to me*

Somehow four weeks have slipped by. As always, TV series runs like a machine on fire while driving through a snowstorm. Long days, and even longer nights. You wonder briefly why you chose a profession that meant you average four to five hours of sleep. But then Walton brings the whole trailer their favorite coffee and you just shrug the thought off. Working with the cast and crew was like being in one big dysfunctional family. One part hated each other, one part was fucking each other, and another part just held on for the ride. You liked to think you were in the last group, but sometimes when you caught Liz glowering at you, you wondered if maybe you were in the first group.

“Why does she hate me?” You ask Trevor as you try to eat lunch. Fish wasn’t your first choice but it’s what they had had.

“Who?” Trevor asks, munching on some strawberries, how the man ate as much as he did and remained tiny was amazing.

“Liz.” You sigh moving your fork around the plate.

“Liz hates everyone, don’t take it personally.” He grabbed a couple more pieces of fruit.

“Have you seen the way she looks at me? Like, why bring me onboard if she was just gonna avoid me like the plague?”

“She’s jealous of you.”

You turn and raise your eyebrows at him. “What are you talking about?”

Trevor lets out a snort and chomps down on some cheese. “Girl. Don’t play down your talents. You have worked your damn ass off to get here. One of the best makeup artists out there and Liz knows it. Why do you think Mr. Goggins likes you so much?”

You shrug and pick through your food, the fish was not sitting particularly well. “I am not better than anyone else.”

Trevor swats at you playfully, “Shut up. You can wrangle through asshole actors like no one else. You take zero shit from anyone and you get stuff done on time or before they are needed. You’ll be one of the most valued artists in town in no time.” He chuckles and pushes his own plate away. “Just make sure you bring me along with you.”

You grin back at him. Trevor had never jerked you around like most others. He was right, you did a good job and people appreciated your blatant lack of kiss assery. You fiddle with your fork for a moment before deciding that you had enough for the day.

***

It was Thursday, which meant the week was almost over. The end was in sight and your bed was calling your name. You’d probably sleep the weekend away and indulge in some overpriced Chinese food. Your thoughts about sweet and sour pork are broken when someone announces they are coming in. Liz walks in and looks you up and down. Dear god, that woman has a chip on her shoulder. She went and pulled out a couple of empty totes.

“It’s going to be you and Trevor tomorrow and the following week.” She says her lips pressed firmly together, as she talks she goes through drawers grabbing different products. “Walton is here doing some scenes, Laura will also be here but she shouldn’t be on camera. If she is, I've emailed you notes and pictures.”

You nod, not bothering to look at her as you continue to wash your brushes. Liz continued to add to her bin. “Sounds good.”

“Look, I know we haven’t been exactly- Friendly.” You turn to look at the woman, she is putting the lid on to the tote. Writing info on a sheet of paper on the top. “But, you do a good job. The director has been very happy with everything. “

“Thank you.” You reply, giving her a small smile. “I appreciate that Liz.”

Liz nods back at you and grabs the tote, waddling out the door. It’s probably the closest you’ve come to liking her. You sit there for a moment, taking in the compliment, maybe things are changing for the better.

***

Friday is here, and you decided to bring some timbits to celebrate the end of the week. The usually bustling studio lot was quiet. Construction and Set Dec had busied themselves with various other needs. It was refreshing to have a little quiet. You had even been able to park your car right beside the trailer. As much as you loved the absolute chaos that was a film set, the calm was a nice balm. You knew that before long you would miss the chaos, and it would be back with vengeance.

Laying things out you felt like you could breathe. You had put on some gothic country on the stero, something that only you and Trevor really enjoyed. Both of you had moved from rural areas to do your job. It was another reason why you enjoyed his company. Trevor had set himself up on the second workspace, the two of you spreading out a little while the boss was away.

“Hello. Lady and gentleman,” Walton’s voice shrill as he came up the stairs. The man was a never-ending ball of energy. You were positive you could do a month of night shooting and he still would come in chipper as if it was his first day.

“Hey Walt,” Trevor said with a grin, it was hard not to be happy around the man.

“Excited for the weekend?” You ask as you drape him with a cape, popping off his sunglasses and grabbing his other glasses off the counter. As he rereads some lines.

“I sure am. It feels like it’s been an extra long week.” He sighed, rubbing at his hazel eyes before grabbing a timbit. “These things are delicious, I am going to steal the whole box..”

You slap playfully at his hand.“Hey now! Make sure I get a few” He gives you a crooked smile and holds one up. You don’t hesitate to lean forward and let him feed it to you. He swallows and looks up at you, as the realization dawns on you as to what you just did.

“Well-Umm- Next week doesn’t look to bad,” Trevor pipes, shooting you a look, his voice squeaking slightly.

“This is true, just the three of us enjoying a few short days,” Walton says, you are desperately trying to move past what just happened as you grab a moisturizer and apply it gently. His eyes follow you.

“I can certainly say I will enjoy not having to drive all over the place.” You reply, trying not to let your cheeks flush. Reminding yourself sternly that you were a professional and for Pete’s sake you’d been working together for over a month now.

“You have the craziest eyes.” He whispers as the two of you look at each other. There is no way of hiding the fact your cheeks are burning. Trevor graciously comes over and starts to fuss with his hair.

“Thank you,” You reply, words caught in your throat. Turning to start packing your set bag, anything to hide the fact that you were bright red. You look up to see Trevor raising his eyebrows at you. You look away and finish things up before sending Walton off to set.

“What was that?” Trevor drawled as he slid into the chair, the look on his face made you want to crawl under the counter.

“What was what?” You try to dismiss things even if your face is on fire. What the hell had just happened?

“He just fed you a damn donut hole and you are blushing all over Goggins?” Trevor pushes fiddling with a comb, and you really want to throw something at him.

You freeze a bit and look up at him in the mirror. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what? See the fact that you two have been goggling over each other for the last four weeks. You just ate food out of his fingers. Wait what does he taste good?’

You do throw a powder puff at him. “You. You stop it. I don’t know what the hell I was doing. It just kind of happened.”

Yes, you had noticed the little things, but really the man was friendly with everyone. He had always been touchy-feely, but maybe there had been more that you had missed, including eating food out of his fingers. You remember him kissing you on the cheek yesterday morning before leaving. But there couldn’t be anything there, there was nothing there you repeated to yourself.

“Oh give me a break. He brings you coffee and touches, and kisses your cheek every day. The man has been fawning all over you.”

You bite your lip and turn to look at your colleague, ‘He does that with everyone, Trevor. He’s just friendly.”

You’re now madly stuffing stuff into your bag trying to get out of this newly warm trailer. Trevor snorts and puts his things into his bag. You wish he would drop it, but he was never good at leaving things alone.

“You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart,” He giggles in an imitation Southern drawl. The two of you hop out of the trailer. You aren’t sure whether to smack him or hug him, either way, there is a job to be done.

***

It was a textbook day, Walton had nailed almost everything. The man could act there was no doubt about that. The character was a belligerent drunk detective trying to solve a cold case. The script was dark, moody, and well horrible. You didn’t shy away from horror, but true crime always made your stomach flipflop. Your stomach also flipped as you watched Walton go from looking like he was gonna bite someone's head off, to all smiles and laughter.

You, Trevor, and Walton are walking back to the trailer together. It was actually sunny out, a rare moment for the Pacific Northwest. Costumes had been busy with some extras so you decided to start with him and finish with the others.

“So do you two have any plans for the weekend?” Walton asks, walking in between both of you.

“I think I might have a date on Saturday,” Trevor replied cheerfully.

“Oooh and who's the lucky fella?” Walton sing-songed.

Trevor looked flush for a moment, “Decon, from props actually.”

Walton chuckles elbowing Trevor “Well that sounds like an excellent Saturday. Man is gonna have some fun.”

Trevor shakes their head and rolls his eyes “He better show or I am going to have to send you both after him”

Walton bares his teeth and growls, which send everyone into a fit of giggles. Decon be aware, there was a madman coming for you. You thought as you get to the trailer opening the door.

“And what about you, little lady,” Walton drawls, that damn southern accent creeping in.

“Nothing special. Think sleep and Chinese food are calling my name.” You reply as everyone settles in. Really that would be the best way to end the weekend.

“Oh, Chinese food sounds amazing.” Trevor pipes in, turning on some tunes.

“Who needs sleep, it's not that important.” Walton chides as you get to work. “I was wondering if you both would like to come to a small bar not far from here. Transport can drive us there and back, a few of us are getting together for some drinks.”

You catch Trevor's gaze, a sly smile spreading across his face. “Oh, I would love that! Little get-together with our mess of a family.”

“What about you?” The lead asks, rubbing your arm. His hands are warm, you’re surprised to feel a few calluses on his fingers.

“Oh. Yeah sure. That would be good.” You give a small smile, trying not to let your mind wander too far. If you were honest, the prospect of getting together with a bunch of coworkers was low on your want list. But the look on Trevor's face tells you that you aren't allowed to say no. Your stomach clenches as the memory of a wrap party gone wrong rumbles past your mind. You push that down. It had been almost seven years since that happened, these were different people. People you knew and trusted.

“Fantastic, I am excited to have you both there,” Walton exclaims before closing his eyes to let you finish your job.

Once Walton is released to Costume, you and Trevor busy yourself with cleaning the trailer. Getting extras cleaned up and making sure everything is ready for the early morning come Monday. You can tell Trevor has been watching you but you can't make yourself say anything. Anxiety has pooled in your stomach like a cold stone and you are struggling to shake it.

“What's wrong?” Trevor asks bluntly sitting down in a free chair. You shake your head and keep your hands moving.

“Come on now. I've never seen you get this clammed up over an invitation to a party. To be fair I've actually never seen you go to a party–” Trevor’s words trail off realization washing over his face. “I know you like your peace, and quiet, but what is going on”

You collapse into the other chair with a deep sigh. Trying to find the words, you really didn't want to explain things too much. That said if there was anyone who'd understand it be Trevor.

“When I first got into the industry.” Your mouth feels so dry even at the thought of it. You grab your water bottle taking a swig.“I went to a wrap party. Got drunk and a guy from Sound took advantage of me. So I've never gone to one since.”

Trevor looks shocked, sadness creeping in at the words. “Hon.That is awful.”

“It happened almost a decade ago. It's fine. Just makes me nervous.” You let out a breath. You weren't going for sympathy, despite it being the worst night of your life, all you wanted was understanding.

Trevor comes over and gives you a big hug. You feel tears prickle in the corner of your eyes. As you let yourself sag against him. You were so thankful for this man, that he was understanding and seemed to care about you.

“Honey, nothing like that is gonna happen to you tonight. We'll go together and enjoy ourselves. And if any man or woman tries to hurt you I will beat them with my handbag” Trevor reassures you with a small smile. You both chuckle at the last statement

You sniffle a little, grabbing a tissue from the counter to dab at your eyes. “Thank you, Trevor”

He gives you a reassuring nod as you both get ready to go out. You were determined to make it a good night one way or another.

Chapter three

Maybe.. maybe.. I will post the next chapter tomorrow cause I am too excited not to share it. Likes, comments, and reblogs are so greatly appreciated. Y'all keep this northern person happy.

#walton goggins #fanfic #au #alternate universe #walton goggins x reader #walton goggins x you #fantasy #writer #creative writing

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the-broken-truth · 4 months

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Yuu - Child of the Great Seven [3]: The Queen of Hearts in Heartslabyul

Broken: Welcome back. Time for the Great Seven to venture to their Respective Dorms. Let us see how the Queen of Hearts reacts to how Riddle Rosehearts manages the Heartslabyul Dormitory.

[When Riddle asked the Students of Heartslabyul to gather in the foyer, they were confused when their Dorm Warden explained that they would be entertaining and serving a very special guest for a week; everyone was confused, but that confusion turned into shock when their eyes landed upon the Queen of Hearts standing between Riddle and Yuu, who stood there with their hands in their pockets; thinking about how Grim wanted to remain in Ramshackle to absorb the fact his 'henchman' was actually the Offspring of the Twisted Wonderland's Gods.]

Riddle (Clearing his throat): I am sure you are all very confused and on edge at the moment, but there is no reason to panic. Allow me to explain: Earlier today, the Great Seven arrived at our school to see their child, who was revealed to be Yuu, The Prefect of Ramshackle.

Yuu (Waves their hand): Hello, All. Good to see you again.

Ace: Wait... Yuu is the Child of the Great Seven?! I thought they were magicless and came from another world!

Yuu (Scratches the back of their head with a small chuckle): Well, I was kinda telling the truth: I was born in another dimension and I lived my life in another world, but I have always known who I was and where I came from. As for my magic... (Holds up their hand - revealing the ring) I wear this ring to conceal my magic because it's...stronger than average magic and I didn't want to hurt the people I came to care about.

Deuce: That is...a lot of information to process.

Cater: So... My Best Friend is the Child of the Queen of Hearts?

Ace (Glares at Cater): Your best friend?! Yuu is my best friend!

Deuce: Both of you are wrong, I am the one Yuu considers to be their best friend.

Trey: I am pretty sure that I am the one who holds that title.

Riddle (Glares at the 4 of them): Be quiet! This is not the time for your bickering!

Yuu (Walks over to Riddle and places a tender hand on his shoulder): Riddle, remember what we talked about.

Riddle: A True Leader has a cool and collected head; going off at the slightest thing is the sign of a tyrant. (Inhales then Exhales) Sorry, Yuu.

Yuu (Smiles at him): It's okay, Riddle; you're still learning, but you are getting better.

Queen of Hearts (Smiling): Your calming nature really seems to aid even the most stressed souls, My Little Heart.

Yuu: Thanks, Mum.

Queen of Hearts (Looking towards the Heartslabyul Students): As Dorm Leader Rosehearts explained, I shall remain here for one week while myself and the rest of the Great Seven spend time with our child at Night Raven. Yuu shall not be attending classes or attending the Headmaster's Whims; this is the week that they are going to relax.

Yuu (Looks at the Heartslabyul Students): There is also something else I would like to ask: Please, do not change your opinion of me or call me by unnecessary honorifics. I am still Yuu Arisugawa - Prefect of Ramshackle and Friend of Night Raven. Please, know that I am still concerned about all of your well-being.

[All the Heartslabyul Students watch Yuu, but all they can see is the blinding light of Yuu's Positive Personality shining behind them like a divine halo.] Heartslabyul Students & Riddle (Thinking in Unison): 'THEY ARE A LITERAL ANGEL! WE ARE NOT WORTHY!'

Queen of Hearts (Smiling at Yuu): It would seem you have captured the hearts of those in this dormitory, My Little Heart; I expect nothing less of you. Before I am given a tour of the dormitory and shown where I shall be resting my head, I would be ever so grateful if you were to make yourself presentable to the people of this dorm.

Yuu (Looks at the Queen of Hearts): You want me to don your colors, don't you, Mum?

Queen of Hearts (Smiles): I would be pleased if you did this for me, Little Heart.

Yuu: Very well. Your wish is my command, Mum.

[Yuu lifts their right hand and snaps: a flutter of rose petals seems to appear out of nowhere and spin around Yuu in a cyclone formation. The cyclone continues to flow around the Prefect until they snap again, causing the petals to scatter away from them and reveal their new appearance. Yuu is now dressed in a Heartslabyul-like outfit with a crown befitting royalty. There is a small red heart marking under their eye and a sea of crimson highlights in their coal-colored hair. Yuu moves their hand down and a scepter of hearts appears in their hand.]

Queen of Hearts: Oh! A splendid display of grace, My Little Heart! You seem to have placed your friends in a trance with your elegance.

Yuu: Your kind words please me, Mum.

[After taking a while to admire Yuu's New Appearnce & the Queen of Hearts, Riddle and Trey give the Queen of Hearts a proper tour of Heasrtlabyul Dorm as well as a glourious room where she will be straying for the duration of the time she is there to spend with Yuu. Once everything is said and done, Yuu proposes a tea party in the Rose Maze Garden. The Queen of Hearts agerly agree...before asking Yuu what day of the month it is, to Yuu states that is the 5th Day of the Month.]

Rule 25 of the Queen of Hearts' Court: There must always be a tea party on the 5th day of every month.

[The Queen of Hearts & Riddle sit at a grand decorated table in the middle of the Rose Maze as Yuu stands beside their Mum with their hands behind their back as Trey comes over to them with a fresh pot of tea and tray of strawberry tarts. Trey pours the tea while Yuu presents the tarts to Riddle and the Queen of Hearts before the two of them bow their heads and step away from the table before returning to their original posts.]

Queen of Hearts (Lifting her teacup to her lips): Now, Riddle Dear, I have witnessed a great number of things since the moment my Precious Yuu entered this world. I must say, I am rather pleased that you have taken the Mantle of Dorm Warden of Heartslabyul and you have enforced all 810 of the Rules of My Court; it pleases me greatly, Riddle Rosehearts.

Riddle (Bowing his head): Thank you, My Queen.

Queen of Hearts (Sips her tea and places her cup back on the saucer): However... Just as have seen the good things that have happened in this dorm, I have also seen the bad. Such as your Overblot Episode, Young Riddle.

[Riddle, Ace, Deuce, and Trey seem to stiffen up when the Queen of Hearts brings up the Overblot, but Yuu seems rather calm as they stand by their Mum.]

Queen of Heart: For the Dorm Warden of Heartslabyul Dorm to Overblot in such a way, destroying my garden, and threatening the lives of those in his court in the Name of his Queen's Rules are both admirable but it broke my heart to see you committing such atrocities. If I were not so understanding, it would be Off with Your Head, Riddle Roseheart.

[Riddle trembling in his seat.]

Queen of Hearts: However... I could not bring myself to do something like that to a soul that has suffered so much already.

[The Queen of Hearts reaches across the table and places a tender hand on Riddle's Head, gently caressing his red hair with sadness in her eyes.]

Riddle (Looks at the Queen of Hearts with wide eyes): My Queen?

Queen of Hearts: Through your Overblot & combat with my Little Heart, I have seen the life you lived and I am even more heartbroken at the way you have suffered, more than I am when a member of my court breaks one of my rules. To have a tyrant of a mother that would sculpt your life just as your own has would have broken the strongest of souls, but you have lasted for so long; I respect your strong spirit. That is why I would like to ask something of you, Riddle Rosehearts.

Riddle: Anything, My Queen.

Queen of Hearts: Ease up a bit. I am not saying that you should not enforce my rules, but I am asking that you be more lenient with the more uncommon rules of my court. When a rule is broken, find more appropriate punishments to fit the crimes instead of collaring someone and making their head roll. Consult with your Vice Dorm Warden to find proper solutions. Understood?

Riddle and Trey: Yes, My Queen.

Queen of Hearts (Leans back in her seat with a smile on her face): Perfect. Now, that is out of the way, we can speak to about more...pressing issues. Ace Trappola. Deuce Spade. Present yourselves to your queen at once!

[Ace and Deuce were trembling as they presented themselves before the Queen of Hearts. However, the Queen collared them and forced them to sit on their calves with their hands on their knees and heads down. She then started lecturing them about their disrespectful behavior towards Riddle and their constant rule-breaking spree. The lecture went on for two hours. Meanwhile, Yuu was being questioned by Riddle and Trey about their abilities as the offspring of the Queen of Hearts, and whether they would like to create their own set of rules to be enforced in Heartslabyul. (@sakurakudo - Thank you!!!).]

[When night falls, Yuu walks out of the Heartslabyul Dormitory with their hands in their pockets as they near the mirror when they are suddenly stopped as Riddle runs out to them with a pastry box in his hands.]

Riddle (Stopping in front of Yuu, bows his head to them, and presents the box): Please, accept this for coming to Heartslabyul.

Yuu (Looks at RIddle): Riddle, lift your head and look me in my eyes.

[Riddle slowly lifts his head and looks into Yuu's shining eyes - they seem upset with his display of respect. Before Riddle can ask what is what, Yuu opens their mouth to speak.]

Yuu: Riddle, do you remember when I first came here? You thought I was a rule breaker and you have collared me a few times. You overblotted and I had to save you, however, it was through all of that we were able to become friends. I am grateful that we are friends and I want to remain friends, I don't want you to change how you act around me just because the Queen of Hearts happens to be my Mum. Never bow your head to me again and embrace me as the first you have known me to be. Please.

Riddle: I... I understand. Sorry, Yuu. (Smiles at them)

Yuu (Smiling at Riddle): It's okay, Riddle. (Looks at the box in Riddle's Hands) What do we have here?

Riddle: The Queen of Hearts told us that you really liked Strawberry Cheesecake and Trey wanted to make you one since you don't really eat anything during the Tea Parties. Please, accept this.

Yuu (Takes the box): Thank you, Riddle, I shall enjoy this. I better get back to Ramshackle before Grim gets too bored. See you later, Riddle. (Turns and walks away)

Riddle: Please, come visit whenever you want! You are always welcome to Heartslabyul, Yuu!

[Yuu looked back at Riddle with a smile before walking through the mirror to return to the Hall of Mirrors; since there was no mirror that was linked to Ramshackle, Yuu used their power to teleport to their proper dorm, where Grim pounced on them the moment they entered the door and demanded scratches and cheesecake.]

[END]

#twisted wonderland #the great seven au #the great seven #yuu has magic #the queen of hearts #riddle rosehearts #heartslabyul

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utilitycaster · 6 months

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forgive me if i don’t make sense bc i don’t really know how to articulate this, but taliesin talked a lot about “trying to figure out what punk means in exandria” and wondering what’s there to be angry about. and after the last string of episodes i feel like that it’s a question that he baked into ashton’s character. like yes ashton is punk and they have justified anger but the Rest of their anger is deflective to stop them from interrogating themselves and their decisions further. idk it’s really interesting to me

It is! It's something I really love about Ashton and it's something I think Taliesin was very thoughtful about in his character creation. I think Taliesin is extremely strong in character creation in general, and it's a rare person who can make a character based on a philosophical premise who also feels very real.

That really is the core of Ashton, and I think it's a great commentary. I do still intend to watch The Decline of Western Civilization Part III (winter break perhaps?) but I am broadly familiar with the gutter-punks on which Ashton was based, and again, the punk movement as a whole. There have always been politically-minded punks; but I advise you look up the backgrounds of, say, the average Fugazi/Minor Threat, Bad Religion, Dead Kennedys, or Propagandhi musician because they are, by and large, middle-class white guys with relatively stable and happy childhoods, and the idea of Ashton as someone dedicated to the Tumblr uwu kindness is punk "look at this perfect baby who doesn't steal pennies how kind and generous to only take literally everything else" archetype was always a massive projection. They've always been far more in the model of the Break Shit, Get Wasted punk than, well, the straight edge and veganism of the above.

(I also think that while it's true that a lot of punk houses did take in anyone and were something of a refuge for many a la Color In Your Cheeks, there was also a lot of Missing Stair Fallacy shit going on in the punk community even then. Ashton is in fact an example of the flaws in that sort of subculture: the Nobodies were there until they really, really weren't, and that's not unusual for that kind of punk friendship. It's found family until you're too inconvenient and dangerous to make it worth it. Taliesin explores this a lot, incidentally; that was very much what he was doing with Molly, and I would love to hear him talk about that kind of surface-level closeness that isn't strong enough to stick because as someone who both participates in fandom and loves to observe and analyze fandom as a phenomenon itself, it's a very real dynamic.)

Ashton has had an awful life. That's the premise. Nothing good has happened to them. There are plenty of valid reasons for them to be angry. Some are people who deserve it (their parents for the fucked up ritual; the Nobodies for abandoning them; Jiana Hexum for exploiting them), some are people who don't deserve their anger but to be fair haven't done anything to deserve their respect either (Percy, the gods), but many have been perfectly kind and reasonable and Ashton has rejected them because they're in a position of authority or seemed too nice. And there's plenty of stuff he's mad about that isn't easily pinned on anyone; the chronic pain is a shitty side effect of one or both of his traumas but no one person is responsible.

Ashton is an incredibly cynical person, and this extends to himself. As I've said before, I think they absolutely mean it when they say that they would have done the exact same thing the Nobodies would do, and this has been used to both cover up the intense hurt that came from their abandonment, but also, I think part of Ashton's own self-loathing comes from the fact that yeah, they are the kind of person who'd have done the same, and that isn't a very good person, and being angry at the Nobodies and Jiana and the world at large has allowed him to avoid looking that truth in the face. Ashton has always bounced between "I'll be the best broken thing I can be" and "what if I could be more? what if I could be what I could have been if things went well?" and also "who the fuck cares" and the reveal, that when the chips are down, he will make an ill-advised and self-destructive choice from that place of pain and anger has really rattled them. He can't keep just being angry and using that to shield himself from difficult questions. It won't just kill them, but it will hurt everyone around them too.

A really ugly truth of life is that even when something is completely not your fault and even when you have been dealt a rotten, unfair hand, often, you do have some degree of responsibility to deal with it ("And if it isn't my fault, I certainly didn't do anything to deal with it," as Ashton says.) The mere act of being angry is cathartic but doesn't actually solve anything. I think that's Keyleth's message to Orym, actually; it's not fair, and you're angry that it's not fair, but you need to use that anger to do things yourself instead of letting it consume you or passing the buck because it sure as hell isn't your turn. Ashton has, since the solstice, been playing tug of war with the idea that this anger has perhaps not been serving him, and he finally lost. Initially they realized a lot of this anger had been self-pity, but then, as they said, one week of thinking their parents actually were something led them to do the exact same dumb cult shit. Instead of stopping and listening to Evontra'vir and Allura, he said "no, I'm special, actually." And to be clear I think their motives were incredibly complicated and well-thought-out on Taliesin's part. It's not just because of his parents, it's not entirely selfish or out of heroics but those certainly did play a part, he did genuinely think it would help but he also ignored a number of warnings that it wouldn't. Again, I think the parallels between Ashton and FCG are glaringly obvious this episode, except Ashton hid their feelings with anger and FCG with a focus on everyone else's needs.

#answered #Anonymous #long post #ashton greymoore #god i love this episode so fucking much it's SO good

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prof-peach · 8 months

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Hi again! Its me, idk if you remember but i sent you that weird horned shiny caterpie a long time ago. I had another question. My partner recently caught a pumpkaboo. He is also very much into haloween decorating, but hes afraid to carve any jack-o lanturns. I was hoping if there is a way to help his new pokemon and let him carve this year. Any advice would be wonderful.

-Bre

Ah yes, good to hear from you again, your caterpie is doing very well by the way, settled right into a small colony after an adjustment period and has made a lot of friends.

As for this Pumkaboo issue, it does happen, theyre sweet pokemon but struggle to see the difference between themselves and pumpkins, so the panic can settle in.

What we normally do is encourage them to use razor leaf as a move, and basiclaly play fruit ninja with them. As often as you can just throw fruits and get them to try to cut them up with the attacks. After a while, say a week or so, slowly introduce small pumpkins or gourds in. Say nothing and just mix them into the game of aim and slice. They are not usually perceptive enough to pick out what it is theyre attacking while its moving in the air, especially in daylight where their eyesight is a little less detail orientated, and will continue the game without further thought. Again, these are not overly intelligent pokemon on average, more curious or tricky, even timid (but there can be exceptions).

Once they eventually realise theyve been playing a game with vegetables by letting them examine the remians when you all clean up, they usually clock that vegetables and pokemon are not the same. they do not smell the same, nor do their insides look similar in any way. Its more about breaking the barrier between what they will and wont do out of nervousness, proving that they are not the same as pumpkins first hand, and that there is no scary or terrible concequence to attacking said vegetables.

Posing the idea of carving together after that tends to become far simpler, they can connect the dots of 'i am a pokemon and alive and sentient' and 'that is a vegetable and im not hurting anyone like me', most of the time this species wont partake due to a fear of the unknown, a hypothetical, or a disconnect in information, fill in the gaps and they tend to come around to it pretty quickly.

But theres always the alternative if you find youve got a real scardy cat: Paint the lanterns. Glow in the dark paints are easy to buy, so you can bypass the need for a candle or knife, and this way you dont have to front up something that may cause yoru pokemon emotional discomfort, though I personally would suggest confronting this nervousness.

It is a minor issue, and it's healthy to experience situations where you need to be in an uncomfrotable state and maintain calm composure. This is a great example of just letting them experience the world so they can handle their feelings and emotions in a healthy way instead of freaking out if they see something they don't like or understand, launching an attack out of fear and being a danger to themselves and others.

Good luck with fruit ninja, it doubles up as fun enrichment for all your pokemon, and is snack time so- win win!

#prof.peach #pokemon #peach talks #there are other ways but this is what we do #most of the time

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obsidiancreates · 2 years

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OBSESSING over the concept of the DHMIS guys having been real people (I mean not real people as in Humans but real people as in Still Puppets But Living Actually Normal Lives) before they got like, suddenly snatched by some Being into their little world, and their families have been searching for them for years. And one day they manage to free them! All of a sudden Red Guy and Duck and Yellow Guy have names and personal histories and time is passing in a linear fashion and they don't know how to handle it.

They don't remember any of it. These people are strangers to them. This world is a strange one.

Red Guy has a brother and sister who now have to take care of him, because he can't seem to adapt back to his old life. He used to have a real job and his own apartment and a very average life, and now he gets anxious when he's home too long, but also when he's out too long, and he gets anxious when the day passes without someone singing something but he gets anxious when the singing goes on too long. I also think it'd be fun if he's a more vibrant shade of red than he used to be. His siblings are younger and they tell him about who he used to be and he can't connect with any of it.

Yellow Guy lives with his mom and older brother. His older brother is older by quite a few years, old enough to kind of stand in as a dad since their dad is gone (it's not Roy, his mother never knew any Roys). He used to be a bright kid, maybe not the smartest ever, but he wasn't... like this. They keep having to intervene because he has no concept of Permanent Consequence anymore. He doesn't seem to understand Injury anymore. "But it'll go away," he says when his mother takes a knife away from him after he was running around with it. "Everything goes away. ... Mummy, where are my friends?"

Duck had a partner, apparently, and a niece. His sibling doesn't visit often, but his niece does. She says it makes her parent too upset to see him when he doesn't remember them. He says they need to get over it, who can remember things that happened before today anyway? But suddenly he can, and he starts having a hard time with it. "It's too much remembering!" he squawks. "How am I meant to keep track of it all if every day I know what happened before I went to sleep?!"

And all three keep asking about each other.

"Where're the other two?" Red Guy (he never remembers his name, and usually doesn't respond to it, and the same can be said of Duck and Yellow Guy) asks one say. "The smallest one usually sits somewhere around there, and uh, the other one, right about there. Where've they gone?"

"I miss my friends," Yellow Guy whines one day. "He told me about the military, and-and I miss that. And he's supposed to sit right there, and-and the tallest one is supposed to sit there! Did they leave me alone?"

"At least the other two weren't so dull," Duck grunts one day while doing a crossword (well, trying to, and struggling with such easy hints that it makes his partner feel sick). "Even when they tried to be. What? No, I don't know any specific stories. What a strange thing to ask someone."

The families do decide to chance a supervised meeting of the three a few months after getting them back.

The shift is strange. Red Guy is less anxious, but also more irritable. Yellow Guy is happier, but more afraid. Duck is content but more demanding. And they all sit there, acting so comfortable and yet so... strange. Like they're just... waiting. Biding time for something. The whole room feels still, stifled, and their families find themselves feeling the anxiety and confusion and irritation that the three usual display.

When all three are together there's just this.... uncanniness, to the air. The colors are brighter, in a way that hurts the eyes. The silence is thicker, and the sounds that cut through are sharper. Everything feels poised to collapse, a choking and stifling feeling that makes their families dizzy. And they sit in it and seem more comfortable than they've been since their rescue, if not for the way they keep checking around the room in almost grim expectation.

But nothing comes. So their families finally say it's time to go again.

"But we're not supposed to split up," Yellow Guy pleads.

"Stuff usually goes a bit off when we do that," Red Guy says flatly, but there's an undercurrent of stress to it.

"We'll be perfectly fine right here, thank you," Duck says stiffly. "We don't even know you freaks."

But at the same time they let themselves be dragged off like they have no other choice, no ability to fight back, until they're all back at their own homes with promises that they'll see the others again sometime.

One day the phone rings in Duck's house and he goes still. He walks towards it slowly, and picks it up with shaky hands. It's Red Guy, his partner (if they're really his partner anymore, they still love him and want him to get better but it's clear the person they were in a relationship with may never return) deduces from the muffled voice. It's shaky, and Duck's reply is shaky too.

"Is this real?" they hear Red Guy's voice say through the phone.

"I don't know," Duck says back. "It always feels like it is."

Maybe getting them out of there wasn't enough. Maybe their missing family brought some of that strange place back with them. Maybe they left something behind.

And no matter what kind of day it is, if it's a mild day with few episodes or a day full of confusion and panic, there's one very strong constant. When something happen that spikes their fear, when something makes them frightened or just simply uneasy, there's one form of comfort they always refuse.

Don't hug them. They're scared.

#dhims #don't hug me i'm scared #dhmis red guy #dhmis yellow guy #dhmis duck #dhmis tv series

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finelinevogue · 1 year

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don’t break my heart this year

summary - you break up with Harry but you live to regret the decision

warnings: self-deprecation, breakup, anxiety, family death, depression, but also fluff and a happy ending, i am one with hurt-comfort fics :)

pairing: ex-boyfriend!harry x reader

word count: +7.2k

It hadn't even been a year since you'd broken up with Harry and yet it still haunted you.

There wasn't a day that went past where you thought about how your life could've been so different if you had of stayed. If you had talked everything through with Harry. If you had been that little bit stronger. If you had given Harry a chance to explain how he felt.

Your breakup with Harry wasn't like most. Neither of you had cheated. Neither of you had fallen out of love with one another. Neither of you had stolen off the other. You had simply moved back home, to take care of your widowed mother and had lost contact with him. Your mum lived up in the top hills of Scotland, meaning the signal was dire. If you wanted to call anyone, including Harry, you'd have to drive at least 50 miles before hitting service.

It wasn't fair to keep Harry waiting days on end, just to have a five minute phone conversation with you. It wasn't fair that Harry couldn't see you because you lived so far away. He deserved so much more than you could give him. He deserved someone he could come home to each day, after work, and shower him with endless love. So you did what you believed was the most mature thing, and broke up with him. You drove all the way down to London to explain it to him in person, feeling like he deserved that much from you. He didn't take it well and neither did you. You left before he could ever really tell you how he felt, not having the courage to stay.

Since that day, you hadn't spoken to him. You knew it would hurt too much if you did.

Your mum wasn't doing well. Two years ago your dad had passed, due to heart problems, and your mum had taken it very hard. She was not in a good place, mentally, and you knew she needed someone to look after her. Being an only child made times like these hard.

Life had been hard recently, and it didn't seem like it was getting any better.

All your time was being devoted to looking after your mum that you hardly had any time for anything else. You were trying your best to study at online university whilst holding down tough hours at the local restaurant. Your average day would be 9-5 at university, but dipping in and out to help aid your mum in anyway you could. Then from 6pm until, normally, 1am you would work in the local pub. It was quite the drive from your mums house, but the money was needed.

In recent weeks it had gotten tougher. The work load from university had started to ridiculously pile up, to the point where when you finished at the restaurant you'd have to stay up until 5am just to finish off some readings or essays.

Your mum was worsening too. She no longer liked going outside by herself, because she was worried the "big, bad, world" might snatch her up just like it had you dad. You promised her she was okay, but she'd lost a lost confidence in herself and the world she lived in. Having a conversation with her was harder too - almost like you were losing her mentally.

All you could think about was how Harry was doing. Was he okay? Was he dealing with the breakup well? Or did it not really bother him at all? He was constantly on your mind, invading your every thought and you wished to have a moment away from him sometimes. Only sometimes though, as he quite honestly was the only thing holding you together at the moment.

As much as it pained for you to admit it, you truly hoped he'd found someone else - someone better. You knew the possibility of ever seeing him again, let alone being with him again, was shattered the moment you walked away from London. You'd left your heart with heart with Harry that day and you would be dammed if you gave it to anyone else. It was his to keep - even if he was unaware of its presence.

Tonight was just like any other night. Until it wasn't.

The pub owner, Patrick, your boss, had put you on an even longer shift today. It was getting closer to Christmas and the locals tend to come to the pub more often, sometimes even bringing relatives and friends from around the country. So today you didn't finish until 2am, having started at 5:30pm. It was tiring after a full day at uni.

You'd finished serving Alan and his friends their third round of beer for the evening, before getting back to cleaning up. It was getting close to closing time and you were beyond ready to go home now. Your mum would hopefully be in bed, but if not that would add an extra hour on before you could go to sleep.

Alan and co. luckily ended their night after round three, thanking you for your impeccable service as they left noisily.

The other staff members, who worked alongside you, had left ten minutes ago or so, claiming they had to be up early in the morning and so had to head off. If only you had the courage to say the same. You'd love to get off a little earlier, but it just wasn't practical.

As you were stacking chairs the front door chimes went off, signalling that you had a new customer. It wouldn't be an employee or Patrick because they'd all use the back entrance.

"Oh, i'm sorry we're closing." You explained, not looking over your shoulder to see who'd entered. You were focused on wiping down tables to rid them of alcohol stains, and flipping the chairs over to balance them off the tables so you could wipe the floor.

You didn't hear the sound of the door opening and closing again. Instead, you heard his voice.

"All this way and you wont let me even have one drink?" He teased you, making you freeze in your motions.

You turned around cautiously, prepared for anything because it could just honestly be your mind playing tricks on you. Maybe you were losing the plot, not your mum. How wrong you were, though. So, so wrong.

There he was, all warm and loveable. Nothing had changed really. He had a little bit of stubble, clearly proud that he had finally grown some facial hair. His curly locks were piled underneath his infamous Green Bay Packers beanie, the one you'd bought him on your trip to New York. His cheeks were a little rosy from the cold winters eve, explaining why he was also layered in clothes.

"Hi Harry." You warmly smiled, feeling a small red burn creep onto your cheeks now. You were nervous stood in front of him again and you didn't know why. It was just Harry, after all .

"Hello." He replied the same way he always does upon meeting someone. You felt like you had to shake his hand or something to break the awkward barrier you'd built, but you didn't.

You were so caught up in the beauty of him that you completely forgot you were being rude.

"Oh, i'm sorry. Would you like that drink?" You offered, after clearing your throat and dusting down your clothes, even though the last thing you wanted to do was make another drink this evening.

"I was only messing, love." Oh how you'd missed him calling you that. The mere sound of it again sent butterflies straight to the depths of your stomach. He made you feel like life was on an eternal rollercoaster and it was one that you'd never want to disembark.

"Well, I-I can't serve any food past—"

"In not here for food either." He shook his head softly, maintaining the comfortable distance between you two. The last thing he wanted to do was make you feel uncomfortable.

"Oh. Um, then what service do you require? Are you lost, um, because we have a phone out back that—"

"I'm not lost. I'm exactly where I need to be." Harry cut you off again, a habit you'd always found annoying but now found endearing. It was like he knew your thought process better than you did. He knew what you were going to say before even you did.

"How did you even find this place?" You asked confused. You had trouble finding this place and you grew up here, so how Harry has found it was an incomplete puzzle.

"I have my ways." He smirked his signature cheeky smile, the one which you'd fallen in love with. The one you were still in love with. You laughed and shook your dead at his idiocy but also his gentle humour. You really needed it after the past few months you'd had. The past few months that you caused. The ones that broke the perfect man standing in front of you.

"Irene?" You questioned your mothers name, not being able to think of another way he'd know your location.

"Irene, yes." Harry laughed at how quick you were. "How is she?" Harry continued, wondering if she was any better from the last time you'd spoken to him about her.

"Not good." You nodded your head and tried your hardest to smile, although it felt very unconvincing sat on your face.

Harry nodded too and you knew it was his way of silently telling you that he was sorry and that he hoped everything would get better. You were having a hard time believing him though. "And you?" He asked, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets to warm them up. He didn't understand how you were only stood there in a tshirt and cardigan, on top. Your tights and skirt were nice and toasty warm, but you were chilly up top.

"Okay, yeah, um you?" You quickly brushed past his question, not wanting to delve deep in to your feelings with him right now. Harry could tell you weren't okay though, no matter how much you told him otherwise.

He noticed the tired eyes. He noticed the stressed brain. He noticed the ever-slimming figure. He noticed the messy hair. He noticed the irritated and scratched skin on the top of your wrists. He noticed the way your hands were slightly shaking and your teeth were barely chattering. He noticed it all even when you thought he didn't. You weren't okay. He knew that much and you knew it too.

"Been better." He truthfully admitted, making you feel worse than you did before. You couldn't do right for wrong and it was slowly exhausting you.

"Mhm." Was all you could reply with, not having anything else to say because he'd heard it all before when you'd gone to London. You stacked the last few chairs and a thick blanket of awkward silence filled the air. You didn't want it to be awkward, but then again you should've thought about that before breaking up with someone you could never stop loving.

"What are here for then, Harry?" You wondered, moving behind the bar to maintain a distance between you two. You decided you'd sweep the floor tomorrow, instead of tonight, just wanting to escape from this shithole now.

"For you." He firmly put it, not sugar coating anything but just providing the honest truth.

"Oh-uh," you cleared your throat again, not sure how to continue the conversation, "any particular reason?" You stupidly asked, as if you didn't know the reason he'd travelled hundreds of miles to see you.

"Well it wasn't to come and shout at you, you'll be happy to hear." He joked, but all you could do was breathe a huge sigh of relief. You don't know whether you could take the hate today, even if you did heavily deserve it.

"Yeah, that is good to hear!" You joked along with him, but knew that wasn't the tone of what he wanted to talk about either.

"Hey? How about we get out of this dark and saddening, beer smelling, pub and go somewhere a little more fresh?" Harry offered, telling that you were desperate to get out of here and literally go anywhere but here.

"You have somewhere in mind, Mr Spontaneous?" You teased him, knowing that he will be useless in finding a good spot out here. There were plenty of good hideout spots, you just have to know where to find the best ones. You'd proudly been to them all and you used them as a place to seek the calm amongst the eternal chaos.

"Actually, I do, Miss Know-It-All." He teased back, earning a stuck out tongue on your behalf to him. He was such a little prick sometimes. "Go get your stuff and let's go."

"Okay." You bit your lip in excited anticipation. This could be either the best night in your life's history, or the worst.

Running to the locker room gave you the opportunity to let out a breath that had been wildly built up inside you, without even realising. Harry was actually here, let alone in the pub but actually in Scotland. Harry had been in contact with you mum, just so he could travel across the country to talk. God knows about what - or maybe it'll be about who he's now with. You were just so incredibly happy that he was here. For so long you'd built up this idea that it would cause a war if you ever saw him again - that he'd get angry at you - but it was nothing like it. If anything, he was being overly gentle and cautious around you - like he was afraid that he'd say the wrong thing and you'd make a run for it again.

The crew room reeked of sweat and it didn't take long for you to start feeling sick because of it. You quickly grabbed your overcoat and your bag before heading back out to the main restaurant area. Harry was sat at the bar, aimlessly tossing a beer mat between his fingers. He didn't even notice your presence he was that caught up in his own thoughts.

"You ready?" You timidly asked, internally asking yourself the same question. The answer was an indefinite no.

"If you are." He nodded and warmly smiled at you, assuring you that this was okay and it was alright to feel nervous. Hell, he certainly was.

"Okay. Let's go." He let you guide him to the door, like the gentleman he is, stopping to let you turn all the lights and machinery power off. Once you were both out of the door and in to the bitter frost, you locked the door tight shut.

"It's fucking freezing up here." Harry complained, and you knew it wouldn't be the last time he made a remark like that today.

"Tell me something I don't know." You rolled your eyes at the weather, fed up of the depressing cold. Jamaica sounded lush round about now - with all the swaying palm trees, warm sandy beaches and cooling waves of the ocean. Here, it was just hills, snow, hills, rain, hills and hills.

Harry lead you to his truck. It was one you'd never seen before so most likely had hired for the duration of time he was going to be here for. You wondered where he was staying, since there were no five-star hotels out here - only Margaret and Tony's B&B. Harry would like it there though. It sat proud next to a quaint stream and you couldn't hear a car even if you tried - it was the perfect retreat for a critically acclaimed mega-rockstar.

He opened the door for you, lending you a hand to step up since it was a large step. The feeling of his skin touching yours was a sensation that you could write novels about. A feeling that you'd so dearly missed and craved more than ever now. It didn't take long for him to enter his side of the car and start the engine up. The first thing he did was turn up the heating, noticing how your hands had been ice-cold when they touched his and how you were silently shivering. He noticed.

"It'll heat up in no time, I promise. In the mean time, here you are." He handed you the coat he'd just been wearing and it was still lusciously warm inside. It smelt just like him. It smelt of home.

"Thank you." Not even turning down his kind gesture because you were that cold.

"Trust me, still?" Harry asked you, setting the car into the right gear before looking across to you. It was painful to hear him have to ask such a question. You pulled the coat tighter over you, using it as a blanket, trying to preserve as much heat over your body as possible.

"Always."

•••••

The drive was a very peaceful one.

No commentary was made between the two of you, only the soft, mellow, tunes of Sinatra danced around the confines of the car. You could sometimes hear the passing of a nearby car or steam train, but there were no voices. Comfortable silence is so overrated - at least you for you it was uncomfortable. It was because you were terrified of saying the wrong thing as to why you didn't say anything, but also you felt like you'd said everything the last time you saw him.

Your mind drifted to London, as you closed your eyes, on that rainy Thursday eve...

I didn't think i'd be this nervous for anything in my life, but here I was.

His house looked bigger than the last time i'd seen it. The ivy growing up the walls looked powerful, as if it could tear the whole wall off if it wanted to. The pink front door assured me that I was at the right house, but I silently wished that it was a different colour because then I wouldn't have to face what I knew was to come. It was all going to be my fault though. I would most likely leave with a broken heart and the guilty conscience that I broke his too.

But this had to happen. It wasn't fair to him anymore.

I got out of the taxi, thanking him for waiting just a few more minutes whilst I collected myself and went and did what I came to do. He was very sweet and let me ride for a discounted price, obviously sensing my abundance of nerves, saying he'd wait for me to take me back to the station after this. He didn't say anything else to me, but he didn't need to.

The walk to the door, underneath the porch out of the torrential rain, felt like miles and yet it was only a few steps. My mind rushed through every possible scenario this could end up as. I looked back at the taxi man and he was smiling with encouragement at me, as if he knew exactly what was happening here.

I knocked three times - each one with the same amount of power.

The anticipation was the worst part. I wanted to scream, but also cry already.

The door swung open after 27 seconds precisely, not that i'd been counting or anything. I was so ready to start my rehearsed piece with him, but I was so blinded by his beauty that all thoughts were forgotten. He couldn't have looked better. He was standing here in checkered pyjama bottoms and a navy-blue crewneck sweatshirt, with little brown loafer slippers for comfort, and he still managed to be the most handsome man on the planet. He was so perfect.

Unlike me, Harrys thoughts were clear and his mind was only focused on one thing. Me.

I'd never seen him move so fast in my life. He closed the distance between us instantly and sealed our lips together to knock down the final boundary. His hands cupped my cheeks so desperately I wobbled back slightly from the force. His lips had never tasted so good. So sweet. The sounds of the pattering rain were long forgotten and the overwhelming senses bursting off of Harry quickly infiltrated my system. The sweet taste. The freshly-showered smell. The angelic sight. The tingling touch. The blissful sound. My senses were overwhelmed by him and I couldn't help but cry into the kiss.

He didn't want to let go, that I was sure of. Each time I tried to move back and regain air he whimpered, pulling me back as soon as I had caught some oxygen. This was our longest, most passionate, most burning kiss. In fact it was our last, most passionate, most burning kiss - little did Harry know of that.

"Where've you been, baby?" Harry asked breathlessly, between a further two kisses to my now swollen, cherry, lips.

"A-away." I struggled get out my words due to Harrys continuous kisses.

"I was so worried. So, so worried." He shakes his head not wanting to think about it anymore. I pulled away from his grasp, stepping back to create a little distance between us. I couldn't say what I wanted to say if I was too close to him. "Where are you going love?" He chuckled out, but there was a heavy tone of vulnerability underneath his words.

"Harry y-you need to listen to me, okay?" I asked, but even he knew that he didn't have a choice. All he could was nod his head, too afraid to say anything. He had a disturbing feeling like this wasn't going to be a conversation about how much I loved and missed him - no matter how true that would be.

"I-I think you already know where this is going, so i'm not going to sugar coat anything." Harry was already shaking his head at me.

"Y/N/N.. Please, no.." Harry continued to shake his head, realising you two were on the same page now and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"Harry, I - uh - shit. C'mon Y/N." I mumbled to yourself, trying to hold myself together. "I love you, Harry. I've never loved someone half as much as i've loved you, and I never will. You have my heart - all of it. I need you to know that first, because it's important to me that you understand that," I watched him nod his head, "Harry, baby, I can't be with you anymore. It's nothing you did I swear. You were and still will be the best boyfriend to ever exist, because you are the most amazing person to exist—"

"Then don't do this, angel. Please." Harry butt in, tears now flowing down his face and it made it painful for me to look at him.

"Harry stop. Okay? It's not fair on you anymore. I can't be the girlfriend you need. I can't be the one you depend on anymore because I can't be here. My mum she's.. Well it doesn't matter, but she needs me more than ever and I can't leave her. Not now,' I watch Harry sniffle and wipe his nose on his sleeve, "You deserve so much more than me. You deserve someone who will give you everything, not that you didn't have everything from me - it's just I couldn't give you all of me all the time—"

"I don't care." Harry kept repeating like a broken record. This is what i'd made him into. I stepped closer to him again, cupping his cheeks to help him focus on anything other than his dark thoughts.

"Hey. You'll be okay. You don't need me. I was just someone passing by in your life, alright?" I pressed my forehead hard against his, and he cupped my cheeks to mirror me. If I could touch him then he sure as hell was touching me. He would savour every last moment next to me, because it might just be his last.

"No, Y/N/N, you're not. You m-mean everything t-to me." Harry sobbed out.

"Okay, but now you have to let me go. For your own bright and wonderful future, Harry, you have to let me go." I instructed him.

"No, no, no." He repeated and all I could do to shut him up was give him a kiss. The final kiss. I poured as much emotion as I possibly could do into the kiss, relishing every last second I had with him. After today I would probably never see him again. I would go back and live in Scotland, where the media is non existent, and live my life without my favourite person by my side. I would go back to working in the dirty bar and slaving away to the demands of university, all the while Harry will find someone new - someone better - and start up his wonderful life with them.

He was going to do great things.

I was the one to detach my lips first this time, knowing that if I didn't stop there I would never. I gave him one final, full of love, peck before pulling away from his warm embrace.

"I'm going now." I whispered, not wanting to even hear myself say those dreaded words.

"No." Was all Harry could say back. We both had faces full of tears and hearts full of hurt, but for now I had to be strong for him.

"I love you." Were my last words, before running back to the taxi out of the storm.

The look on his face was one that I knew was going to haunt me for years. There was no escaping it. He was utterly and completely broken - and all because of me.

My impending thoughts got interrupted by a call of my name. It was a distant voice, one that I didn't understand where it was coming from. It was so loud and clear and it sounded just like Harry, only when I looked at him his lips weren't moving. I'd left him broken on his doorstop and he couldn't do anything to fix the situation at- Y/N/N!

Again the voice repeated my name. Maybe I was having a stroke?

I couldn't stop crying in the taxi. The man knew to take me to the station, no questions asked. I respected him for that. My mind spiralled down in to a pit of self destruction and loathing. Every possible cruel thing I could think of, I could relate to myself. I couldn't stop thinking about the fragile Harry i'd left on the doorstep and—

"Y/N/N!" Harrys voice was much clearer now and it was obvious that you hadn't been dreaming him calling your name. He was standing outside the passenger door and it was only then that you'd noticed that you were parked up somewhere. "You're okay, you're okay." He assured you.

"Wha- where are we?" You asked, slightly dazed from the god-awful memory that just replayed in your head. It was a nightmare that kept you up most nights - it was one of the reasons you hated sleeping. It baffled you how Harry even wanted to be near you right now after everything you'd put him through.

"Come on and i'll show you." Harry held out his hand to help you back out of the truck.

The clicking of your seatbelt signified to Harry that you were preparing to climb out of the car and follow him. It meant that you continued to trust him, and that was more than enough for Harry. You grabbed on to his hand and allowed him to hold on to you tightly, in case you fell.

"There you go. I've got you." Harry spoke quietly, like he was afraid someone nearby would hear him. There would be no one around for miles though. It looked like you were at some outlook, somewhere, but it hadn't hit you exactly where yet. You were slightly disorientated considering how dark it was and not being awake for the journey.

"Thank you." You whispered back, both of you knowing it carried a much deeper meaning than you thanking him for helping you out of a car.

He pulled out his coat that you'd had wrapped around you, knowing it was too cold for you to not be wearing a coat right now. He pulled it around you, helping you slide both your arms in, before leaning down to do the zip up for you. He did it up teasingly slow and it made you nervous for when he'd reach the top. Once he'd reached the top he was stood so close to you that you could hear his heartbeat. His breath was shaky, but not as shaky as yours. You wanted to blame it on the cold but you knew it wasn't because of that.

He looked between your sparkling eyes and your rosy lips, being so indecisive of what he would rather look at. Your lips, he could kiss them for days, but your eyes - your eyes were something else. He swore they were the most precious things in the world. You were convinced he was going to lean in and kiss you, but he proved otherwise.

"Here," he took off his beanie and helped suit it onto your head instead, making sure your hair was tucked out of your eyes as he did so, "you're like a little icicle." He chuckled, making you laugh along with him.

"Thanks, Harry." You smiled sweetly at him, blessed to have him act so kind towards you. His heart was so big, yet so fragile as if it were made of glass, and deserved to be treated with all the grace in the world, but you'd managed to tear it down to its last shards - leaving nothing but broken pieces for him to pick up. "Aren't you going to be cold?" You asked, concerned for his physical health.

He reached in to the glove compartment, before bringing out another hat - a TPWK one at that. You laughed as he placed it on his head, finding it amusing how he was repping his own merchandise.

"You think it's funny? Me, wearing me own merch?" He laughed along with you, finding the most stupid things hilarious. It was just like old times - better times.

"Well do you want your hat back?" You offered, reaching for the bobble on the top of it.

"No. I like it better on you." He winked and it made you roll your eyes.

He slammed the door shut and locked the car with his keys, before stuffing them in his pockets. He took in a big breathe, most likely taking in the crisp winter air. It was refreshing, but something that was becoming all too familiar now. You needed a change. Jamaica, maybe?

Harry reached in to the open trunk of the truck and pulled out a regular rucksack. He slipped it on to his back before he held out his hand for you. "Ready?" He asked, not going anywhere until you took a tight hold on his hand.

"Ready." You nodded, eagerly grabbing his hand - wanting to feel those tingles all over again.

•••••

The walk, to wherever the fuck you were going, was exceptionally pretty. Harry chose well.

The path was hidden deep within a forest and it creeped you out at how dark and mysterious the whole atmosphere was. You felt completely safe standing next to Harry and holding his hand. He was warm and it warmed you up too.

No words had been spoken yet, only soft hums of a tune that Harry must be working on - seeing as you'd never heard it before. It was beautiful whatever it was. The eery night was so peaceful that you felt as if you had no problems left in the world. As if you mum was mentally okay. Your dad was still here. You and Harry were still together. What a perfect world that would be, but unfortunately some people weren't supposed to lead a perfect life. You were one of the unfortunate ones.

As you reached an opening of trees you noticed the lights shining more and more. They were becoming brighter and brighter the closer you came. Then it all started coming back to you. That tree - the one you fell out of whilst playing hide and seek with your dad. That bush - the one that you'd fallen in and cut your knee on whilst on a run with your dad. That pile of logs - the ones that you'd built many a campfire with, with your dad. And finally, that outlook over the valley below - the one that you would turn up at whenever you were sad with your dad.

It made you stop dead in your tracks.

"Harry." You whispered, finding it overwhelming that he knew of this place and how special it was to you. He knew that your father had passed, but you never really explained how it made you feel. You tended to bottle up all your emotions and keep them to yourself, finding it unfair to lay all your shit on someone else who might be going through things worse than you. This was uncharted territory for you.

"It's okay." He reminded you, bringing you closer in to his side with his arm. You appreciated him a bloody lot.

"No it's not. It's not and it's all my fault." You couldn't walk any further, not knowing where this evening was going and what Harry wanted to talk to you about. The guilt was eating you alive. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, no. Don't be sorry. I don't want you to be sorry, Y/N/N, okay?" Harry made you look at him, showing him to observe the small trickle of tears rubbing down your cheeks. You wished he didn't see them, though, because you felt selfish. If anyone should be crying it was him.

"But I—"

"I know what you did, I was there. Front row and centre actually." He laughed, bopping your nose to earn a laugh out of you too.

"How c-can you stand being near m-me then?" You were confused. You mum had told you that Harry would never want to see you again - charming.

"Because I love you." Harry put it in a way that was so simple, yet one that made your heart melt and walls crumble. He was still yours even after all this time, really?

"You l-love me? Still?" You had to double check, completely lost at how he was still devoted to you after all this time. After all that you'd said and done. Of course you still loved him, that was a given, but him still loving you was a terrifyingly happy surprise. He always has had the biggest heart of gold, and he remains to live up to that title. You were so undeserving of him and his heart of gold.

"I never stopped, baby." He squished your face close to his, large hands concealing your face to keep you focused on him and only him.

"You can't mean that, Harry. Not after everything I put you through." You whispered, searching for any signs of doubt behind his eyes. There was nothing but love for all you could see though.

"Listen to me Y/N/N. The last few months have made me realise something. It's made me realise that you're too special to me to ever let you go. Even though you made my phone miss your calls and we hadn't spoke since you went away, all I could think about was you and how you were doing. You didn't look good when you came to my porch in London, and you still don't baby." Harry was being completely honest with you, needing you to understand the complex depths of both sides of this relationship.

"No, i'm okay." You tried to convince him, but lacked the evidence to justify the statement.

"When was the last time you slept for a good 8 hours?" Harry asked, keeping you close to him - afraid you may dash at any point.

"Um, well—" You tried to rack your brain for an answer, but the answer was so long ago it was long forgotten.

"When was the last time you ate a proper meal?" He asked again, this time his eyes gazing down at your body. Yes, you knew that you'd become skinner but you didn't realise it was that noticeable. Or maybe it was just because Harry always noticed the most smallest, most minute, details about you.

"It was, um—" You squeezed your eyes shut hoping something would come to mind but you knew it was pointless.

"When was the last time you gave yourself a breather? A sit down? A bit of time to yourself?" He pressed for an answer, but it was obvious by now that you didn't have an answer.

"I-I," you let out a defeated sigh, looking towards the ground in shame, "I don't know." You admitted to him, and to yourself. You know you should take care of yourself better, but it's been hard to sort it out when you're doing a million and one other jobs too.

You two stayed silent for a few moments, reflecting on the words that had been spoken this evening. Finding out that Harry was still in love with you, in the area that was filled with fond childhood memories with your dad, whilst coming to teens with your mental struggles was a lot to take in in just one night. You could only take so much and you'd be forever grateful that it was Harry by your side right now and no one else. Not even your dad could come close to the secure and warm feelings that Harry gave you.

"I'm not okay, Harry, am I?" You had to ask Harry for support in your question, not wanting to admit the truth to yourself alone.

"You're just a little broken, baby, but i'm here okay? It won't be like this forever, I promise." Harry swore it on his mums life. His hands left your cheeks and instead wrapped around your body protectively, making sure you felt the mental and physical stability of him being there for you.

"I'm so-sorry for everything, Harry." You apologised for not nearly the enough times that evening - well technically morning. If you waited long enough you could probably watch the sun rise from this side of the valley - it was something you dreamt about doing with your dad, but it was too late to fulfil that dream when the time came around.

"It's alright." Harry shushed you, allowing you to carry on with the sobs you needed to let out.

"Is it?" You questioned, still not fully convinced that it was.

"I'll be alright as long as you are alright, love." You could feel Harrys smile against the side of your head where he was resting it, making you slightly smile in return. "Just need you back."

"If you'll have me?" You offered, wanting him to be positively sure of himself.

"Always." He replied, using the same phrasing you'd done earlier this evening.

•••••

Sunrise.

You never thought it would be so beautiful and yet you were so magically lost for words. The way the sun caught its first few rays on the glistening, snowy, mountain tops was cinematic. The rays starting to warm up your icy skin was exhilarating, almost like it was feeding you life again. Oh how your dad would've loved this.

What was even more special than the sunrise was the boy that you got to spend watching it with. Wrapped under a layer of three blankets, your back against his front whilst sat perched against a thick oak tree, you got to witness a moment so singular and unique, with someone as equally unique, and you wouldn't swap it for a million pounds.

Harry had brought hot cocoa, with little pink and white marshmallows, in a thermo-flask to help keep you both warm. He'd clearly thought about this "date", you guess you could call it, with great passion. He had thought of everything. He'd brought bundles of blankets, the hot chocolate, an extra jumper for you - your favourite one of his in fact - and even a portable charger so your phone was ready to snap some shots of the waking sun.

You were positive his body was completely stiff now, most likely going to have crippling back pains for the rest of the week, but you knew he didn't care. All he cared about was you and that you were happy.

Throughout the morning, whilst you were waiting for the sun to arise, you spoke about everything and nothing. You'd learnt that Harry had been with someone a month after your broken up with him, but went in to a two week period of self loathing afterwards because she, quote, "just wasn't you". Apparently he'd almost said your name, to her, the morning after and that's when he knew it was never going to be anyone else but you. Of course your heart bled a little to hear him have moved on so quickly, but you also remember encouraging it so you couldn't really be angry.

You opened up about the grieving of your dad and the hardship that your mum had become. Although it was hard to hear, listening to Harry suggest maybe taking her to a group house for family rehabilitation, or something along those lines, it should be an option to consider. He never pressed you for an answer, but only letting you know he was here whatever you decided to do.

You apologised a lot more times and each time he shut you up with his lips. God had you missed those lips. You'd missed him more.

Harry admitted he'd developed a slight drinking problem and had had to stay at random hotel rooms, for the first couple of months, because he couldn't bare to walk around a house that was so full of you and your memories. The kitchen, where you'd prepared countless morning coffees for him. The study, where you'd read a few stories to him. The bedroom, where you'd spent many a night with him beneath the sheets loving each other until you physically could no more.

Both of you were extremely vulnerable and that's exactly how it needed to be.

To move forwards you vowed to be more open and honest with one another. Harry promised to stay with you for a while, up here, until he was comfortable that you'd be okay if he left you. You promised to never leave him again, which he was perfectly happy with. You also strictly told him that he wasn't to go near a bottle of alcohol unless you were with him, not baring the thought of having to send him into rehab for substance abuse.

The two of you had a long way to go to be perfect, but then again there was no such thing. You were just Y/N and Harry, and as long as you made each other happy, then that, in your eyes, was perfect.

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scrollonso · 20 days

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Hi I’d actually LOVE to hear more about the way you view Strollonso dynamic because a) the way you write about them makes ME feel insane and b) I am also attempting to write fic of these two and require all the references I can so I can feel at least marginally confident dipping my toes in rpf

Anyway keep being amazing and being awesome with your writings!! I hope we can all survive our parasocial relationship with this 20something rich white boy!!!

i have SO MUCH to say.

okay lets start off with their different instagram useage. lance hardly ever posts (averaging like 1 post a month) but nando on the other hand... (like 4 posts a week) so with this difference we get fernando mentioning and talking about and posting and praising lance and its so sweet because hes not doing it for lance to see hes doing it because he MEANS it.

then the fact that theyre so touchy for literally no reason and this isnt even new in 2017 (i believe) fernando was touching all up on lance after he got a podium and now that theyre teammates theres always some kind of contact going on (nando grabbing lances neck, arm, hands, hugging, etc.)

and yk i cant NOT mention the "happy you are not in alpine?" video because HELLO. the way lance walks over and grabs him straight away with a "yes, man" then when nando realizes its lance his whole face lights up. UGH. then when they hugged they were so close, lances lips practically against fernandos skin as he spoke like god get a rooommmmm... AND NANDOS HAND ON LANCES FACE? like he full on cupped lances cheek and the eye contact and smiles?? u dont do all this with a teammate u dont want to fuck.

then when nando won "overtake of the month" and told the woman interviewing him that he didnt vote for himself but for "this guy" (lance) like in what world are you VOTING for your TEAMMATE who in most cases is your biggest competition??

and back to their hugs, any time they hug its never a half assed side hug its always both arms tightly around eachother smiling talking chests pressed together like U DONT HUG JUST ANYONE THAT CLOSELY??

then when lance got p5 and nando got p3 (dont remember what race) and while celebrating with the team nando put a hand on his face again and one on his waist?? and people say they have a "father son dynamic" 😣

i posted abt this a while ago but them walking together is like my favourite thing ever because theyre so close and aware of eachother its like theyre two teenagers with a crush 😭 then ofc that video of nando waiting for lance because he was walking slow like ugh theyre so sweet

then we know lance obvi doesnt enjoy media much and usually has a poker face or is showing the person talking to him that he isnt enjoying the conversation but as soon as he sees fernando or he gets involved he has the biggest toothy grin on his face like i know your cheeks hurt after geeking over this man so much

and we're all aware that nando is practically known for being evil and mean and having big rivalries with his teammates (besides carlo they're my babies) but thats never been a problem with lance theyve genuinely always been just love and had this sweet bond and dynamic since before nando and lance even thought of joining aston and its beautiful

also i adore how they basically refuse to fight eachother or risk their relationship its so sweet and its a very unique thing to see because this is a sport and thats the whole point. from lance saying he wasnt going to fight because it was fernando and nando giving lance his brake information because he knew it would help it really shows just how mature they are and how in the end they value their relationship and their teams performance as a whole so they put that above fighting eachother.

#kat talks #this is more rambling #but u get it #im so normal about them #f1 #formula 1 #lance stroll #fernando alonso #aston martin #ls18 #strollonso #fa14 #1418 #i love them #my babies #old man x twink #the best dynamic

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igotanidea · 1 year

Text

Afterlife :Jason Todd x plus-size!fem!reader

credit for the graphic goes to @3-minnnn (amazing work, I love it, hope you don't mind me using it here)

This is part 2 of Retaliation i.e. what happened after.

@jasontoddsthickbabe - special dedication goes for you :)

Warning : a bit of smut, so MINORS DNI!

***

Regardless of what people say, death is not the end.

Jason Todd had experienced that well enough. After all, his end was rudely interrupted by some crazy people who couldn’t just leave him be.

Anyhow, every culture has their own belief of what is waiting on the other side.

Angels, demons, jackal-headed gods to judge your actions and your soul, virgin, feasts etc.

Heaven or Hell.

Eternal pain or eternal happiness.

So many people try to believe there is something bigger than them in this world, some higher instance.

But death is also not what they claim to be a new beginning, a new story.

In some cultures, afterlife is pretty much the reflection of the life on earth with all the familiar places and people. Maybe without so much pain and hurt, but still. Surprisingly similar.

But the place she found herself in was neither of those.

First of all, it was so dark, she could barely see her own hand in front of her face.

Secondly, it was empty and cold and impossible to judge how big this place was.

And last, but not least, it was cold to the point where she started believing it could not be hell, unless someone made a stupid bet, ending starting from "the hell my freeze, but..."

For what she knew, she could have been standing on the edge of some cliff and nothing more than a step would make her fall and crash on whatever was down there.

How the hell did she got here?

And where exactly was here?

Slowly, the memories started coming back.

The capturing, the torture, the fight ….

The fight. Oh no. Last thing she could remember was Jason's pale, terrified face and desperate grip on her body as she started drifting off in his arms.

Wait, was she dead?

Instinctively she reached towards her neck where, as she recalled, Marseille dragged his knife, almost expecting to find a scar, or even still bleeding injury. But there was nothing. Maybe a bit of roughness, barely palpable.

Poor Jason.

Her heart clenched when his name came onto her mind, picking up the pace, hands started trembling. Atop of previous layers of trauma he’s been through, now she added to it. Fuck, she died in his arms! He literally had her blood on his hands!

If she wasn’t already dead, she would probably hurt herself for bringing that on him. A single though that it was not her fault and she was the victim, not a perpetrator did not cross her mind for even a second.

Come on, Y/N, think. You are familiar with the bats. They have come back to life more times than any average person should be allowed to. How did they do that? Apart from the Lazarus Pit, of course. Think, think.

"Hello?" she called, not really expecting an answer and her voice echoed through the empty place.

"Hello, Y/N." the response got her by surpise and she jumped, startled. "Don't be afraid. You called and I came."

"Yeah, I.... um..... well" she stuttered. so many questions creeping in, all of them so cliche.

"It's ok." the newly arrived person assured, their face covered by the hood of the coat they were wearing "It's ok to ask."

"Am I .... dead?"

"It depends."

"What?" she scoffed "how can it depend? It's either yes or no. I mean I can't be half-dead, right?"

"Technically....."

"Oh, please" the girl rolled her eyes, now rather annoyed than scared "if you have to start a sentence from technically we are all doomed. I just... "

"Come with me. I'have to show you something. "

"And who are you exactly?"

"Think of me as your guide. You people have an inexplicable tendency to give name to everything and if that's the case with you, you can call me Shadow." they grabbed her hand and dragged her straight forward into something she so righteously believed to be the abyss.

***

"Where the hell did you take me?"

"Just be quiet and observe."

“Jason. You need to rest. You’ve been sitting by her bed for 48 hours straight.”

“Fuck off.”

“Be reasonable.”

“I said fuck off, Grayson.”

"Come on, bro. You won't help her in any way by beating yourself up." Dick put his hand on Jason's arm making the younger boy shudder and sigh deeply.

"I need to be with her, Dick. Just... a little more."

"Fine. But I will take over soon, is that all right? You know you should have some rest in a bed and maybe have a shower.

"I know."

Jason was the perfect example of misery and despair. Ever since what happened in that barracks he could not focus on anything else than her. He wasn’t eating, he wasn’t sleeping, spending all the time by his love’s bedside in a hospital room. Of course, Wayne money provided her with the best medical care that could have been bought, but he still did not trust any of those doctors. He was in his full alert mode, refusing to leave even for a second, observing each of the actions with cold, threatening gaze which made some of the doctors tremble. If it wasn’t for Dick, with his lighter attitude, most of them would probably run away.

It was a miracle, Y/N was still breathing and Jason was not taking any chances on that. If he had protected her better, she would be now laughing with him, holding hands and just spending time together in the best health. Instead, she was lying in the hospital bed, plugged to all those crazy medical equipment that were supposed to keep her alive. The cut on her neck was capably stitched, but the risk of it leaving scars was extremely high. She looked so small, fragile, pale and vulnerable.

And it was all his fault.

And he could not think of any way to recover from this, except for begging for her forgivness, if when she wakes up.

"Oh, Jay....." she whispered, few tears rolling down her cheeks. "Oh, my love" she took a few step forward, in desperate attempt to touch him and hold him, but she was a ghost without any material form "I am so sorry...."

"I am so sorry, baby." Jason spoke at the same time, almost as if he could hear her. "Please come back to me...." he sobbed, grabbing her limp, cold hand carressing it gently "I need you."

"I'm right here, baby."

"You do realise he cannot hear you, right?"

"I don't give a single...."

"LANGUAGE!"

"fuck" she smirked and finished the sentence despite Shadow's warning "I don't give a single fuck."

"For someone who's on the verge of saying goodbye to mortal life you have quite the humor. How about you take a look at yourself, instead of focusing on your lover boy, huh? Go ahead" they motioned towards the bed. "Sneak a peek at your broken mortal body."

As much as she did not want to, it was like his verbal nudge made her leg move without her thinking. She came closer towards, well, herself and froze at the spot. It was like looking in the mirror, just a tad more creepy. Bruises on her face, stiches on her neck and barely moving chest made Y/N shiver. And all that blinding white, underlying any lack of color on her. Seriously, why all the medical establishments insisted on using this color.

"How does it feel looking at yourself like that? Freaked out already?" Shadow asked, but much to his suprise Y/N turned her back towards the bed, facing Jason instead, muttering something under her nose, still reaching for him. "Ekhem, I'm sorry what are you doing?"

"I couldn't care less about myself. I've been with all the bats for so long that no injury can really scare me. But he ....." she shook her head "I can feel his pain.... so much of it."

"It's normal" shadow shrugged "you two had a connection."

"connection?!" she yelled standing up abruptly "I love him!! And you...." suddenly she felt taller and stronger "you better tell me how to get back to him."

"I don't .... you don't ...."

"I am not joking right now!" her eyes were so full of fire it made her guide tremble a bit. "Talk or I swear I will tear this whole place down and burn it to the ground. And if you are not willing to cooperate, I will be more than happy to talk to your supervisor or whoever the fuck .... what is that?" sudden warmth spreading on her forehead took her by surprise and she turned around only to notice Jay, leaning over her body and kissing her gently.

"Just hold on there, baby. I know it's tempting to stay on the other side and leave this fuckign city behind, but I can't help being selfish. I am here and I'm waiting for you. Please, find your way back."

"NOW!' she yelled at the Shadow again. She would rather tear her heart out than watch any more minute of Jason like this.

"I...... Fine, there's one way, but you are not going to like it."

***

“I just need to cross the bridge? That’s all?”

“Huh, good luck with that. We call it “the aisle of memories” for a reason. You must be truly desperate to refer to this.”

“Maybe. Or I am just deeply in love. And so it happens the recipient of it is currently losing his mind over my unconscious body. Fuck, he is almost praying! Jason! almost praying. And fuck me if I am going to let him plunge into despair.”

“Good luck then. You’re gonna need it.”

“How hard can it possibly be?” she shrugged and took the first step.

***

Time in the afterlife passes differently than in corporeal world. What seemed like hours for Y/n, was days and weeks for Jason. Extremely long days and weeks when he was spending days in her hospital room, napping on the armchair, refusing to let go of her hand and nights at patrolling in his Red Hood attire, much more violent and unpredictable than ever before. Even Dick and Bruce could no nothing to stop him, but honestly, as long he was not killing people again and avoided increasing his body count they were fine with it. If they even think of trying to stop him he would turn into a rabid animal, probably tearing down the manor. It was better to let him use all that rage, despair and fury on the field.

However, no one missed, how every night for the past two weeks after a patrol, he could not sleep. Instead of laying in his own bed, he was walking around like a ghost, constantly spotting her favorite things at the manor. The books she loved reading most, her chipped cup, she forbid Alfred to throw away, her cherished blanket…. The same blanket they used to cover themselves with while cuddling during watching the movies. Fuck, he missed all those little things, they were doing together. He missed her hugs, the way she was snuggling into him, making him feel like someone important. Like someone worth love.

And he just had to fuck it up.

***

Shadow was right.

Passing the bridge turned out to be slightly more difficult then she thought it would.

Just as she took the first step the anthropomorphic personifications of her past mistakes and fears materialized and of course, they took the form of Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian.

“Hello, Y/N” fake Dick smiled at her, his smile being lick-alike of this of the real Grayson

“Where are you going?” Tim pouted

“Leaving us so soon, baby?” Jason added

“don’t you think you’ve done enough damage, Y/L/N? Damian eyed her warningly

“do you remember the time you could not fight those guys in the alley and Jay had to come to rescue, getting badly hurt in the process?”

“Shut up, Dick!” she hissed taking a step forward, even though the guilt made her leg lead-like.

“Is that a way to talk to your friend? Almost brother?”

“You are not my brother.”

“You’re right. I am your pride. The one you never show and yet everyone around you see. Aren’t you just the most conceited?”

“I am not conceited!”

“Sure, sure, you keep telling yourself that.”

“It’s not true….” She focused on walking forward, turning deaf ear to Dick’s words.

“Competitive. Always trying to prove your point. Getting your own way. Individualistic. That is just painful, sweetheart. You want to cause me pain? Just like that one time when you were supposed to navigate me during patrol? Just like you did Tim?” he spat and disappeared into thin air.

“Tim?” she made a mistake of hesitating and felt the bricks slip from her feet making her fall to the ground. So that is how this was working. Heavy legs and mind traps. “I never hurt any of you!” it took a lot of strength to stand up and yet she managed to resume her walking.

“Really?” Tim asked “Little Miss Smarty Pants? Little Miss Expert on Technology? You always though yourself better than me, didn’t you?”

“I admired your work, Tim.”

“And yet you destroyed it.”

“How….” she tripped again, this time cutting her leg that started bleeding heavily “fuck….” Tim just laughed at her.

“I am your greed….” He flashed a predatory smile “such big ambitions and definitely too high treshold for your little feet. Poor, sweet girl, never fulfilling your aspirations. Remember that one time you lose to me in a competition. How did that feel?”

“Please, stop….” She gasped, feeling sudden pain in the chest, bending her to the ground “It’s not true….”

“Hm” Tim vanished and the youngest Wayne came into the scene. She was almost crawling forward now, and it was ironic how this little fella was towering over her, mocking poor girl with his gaze “Aren’t you just pathetic?

“Let me guess….” She hissed “you are vengeance, aren’t you?”

“Not even close.” He smirked “ I am fear.”

“Fe… fear?”

“What else? I am to remind you of all those time you acted like a coward. Burying your head in the sand, to put it lightly. Waiting for someone to take action instead of doing it yourself. Such a shame….” He cluck

“I never….”

“Let me think….” Damian tapped his chin and stepped on her back, stopping her from moving. Now this was embarrassing. “Oh, I know. The shooting. You had all the resources and skills to stop those attackers. And what did you do? You run. And yet, you still think we would need you back there. You are an useless menace. A liability.”

“I run to save two girls from dying because of the bullets!” she squirmed and crawled some more, now seeing little square of light at the end of the bridge. Probably the exit “You cannot… stop me….”

“Maybe. But I know someone who can. I’ll leave you two alone.” He laughed and followed his brothers out of sight.

“Oh, no…”

“Y/N.” Jason stood in her way blocking it. Of course they left him at the end. His brothers waited and weakened her enough so that a single word coming from him would break her.

He’s not real, he’s not real. The real Jason is waiting for you on the other side, weeping and ….

“You think I am not real?” his initial smile turned upside down “How about I show you?” with one move of his hands, he grabbed her waist pulling her close to his chest and connecting their lips, kissing her so gently, but with so much fire. How could this be fake if it felt so good? “My baby…” he cooed pulling back and cupping her cheek “how about you stay with me? Here. We would be together, forever” his lips moved to her cheek and neck, sending goosebumps all over her skin. Involuntarily, she arched her back towards him, wanting more, remembering how good it felt to have him so close and how long it was since she had his hands on lips on all her curves.

“Jay…..” she whined, losing all her focus, hands tangling in his hair.

“I’m here baby…. Let me make you feel good….”

“Ah….” She whined when he reached under her shirt, grabbing her breast and massaging it gently through the thin material of the bra “Please….”

“Tell me what you want, princess….”

“Take it off….” She tugged on his shirt and he quickly exposed himself to her, letting her hands roam his body freely. His abs, his pecs, his chest, his neck. All of him. “I need you….”

“I know baby… “ he muttered, kissing her again, grabbing her ass and wrapping her legs around his waist “always so desperate for me. Tell me” he unhooked her bra and tossed it away, licking her sensitive skin “does that feel good?”

“Jason….”

“It can always be like this. You just have to stay. Let go of what was. Stay with me. Here. You don’t need anything else. I was made especially for you….”

Those words were like a bucket of cold water on her hot skin and she pulled away instantly. Not without mentally cursing herself for that action.

Come back to me.

I need you.

Don’t leave me.

Those words started echoing through her head like a mantra.

“You are not my Jay.” She jumped away from him, covering her bare chest, now feeling embarrassed

“I am, baby, look at me. I told you, I’m yours…”

“Get away from me! Who are you?!”

“I am regret.” He smirked “don’t tell me you don’t feel guilty for falling for that little trap? For being so desperate for touch that you were just ready to let me take you right here right now.”

“But I did not.”

“How does that make anything better, princess? You still want me.”

“What I want” she hissed, forcing her legs forward and ducking under his arms, almost reaching that light. “is to get to my Jason back. You did not use me or turn me bad. If anything you showed me how much love I hold for the version of you that’s sitting my bed. And guess what?” she flashed him a smile “I won.”

***

Sharp exhale and beeping of the medical machine keeping Y/N alive made him jump on his feet instantly and turn around in search for a potential threat. Instead he met with shocked and terrified gaze of his beloved girl. Fully conscious.

“Y/N?” he asked carefully, mindful of the fact that she just woke up from two and a half week of coma and he was far from good looking. Fuck. He could have at least wore a clean T-shirt.

“Jason!” she cried, reaching her arms towards him and he could not care less about the look or the clothes as he rushed to her side, bringing her into his embrace, caressing her back, smelling her soft her, kissing her cheek and temple and forehead, over and over and over.

“My love.” He whisper “my princess. My baby. God, I was so scared for you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. But I’m back now. I’m back to you.” she hid face in that smelly shirt of his, not caring either “I’m back.” Her grip grew a bit tighter.

“And I won’t ever let you go anywhere far from me again. consider yourself being put under a house arrest.”

“As long as you stay with me.”

“Always.” He assured “right after I take my revenge. No one would ever hurt you again, I’ll make sure of that.”

“Jason?”

“Yes, princess?”

“Can you do something for me?”

“Anything.”

“I need you to teach me how to fight.”

To be continued <?>

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unboundndd · 9 months

Note

Hi hi, It's rare to see people writing about Yone around here, so... Could I ask for a Yandere!Yone x reader in a modern AU? pwp

And thanks for everything (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Have a nice day <3

- 🍄

I am all about yone on this blog… esp since he’s the only AD character i know how to play and he has a special place in my heart! Thank you so much for requesting~

//tag: stalking, obsessive-protective Yone, some nsfw later on, yone is good at disguising himself as a normal person.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· Lately it seems like the only news being broadcasted on the local channels are of the various attacks and robberies towards people who are just going out and about. At first this doesn’t really alarm you, thinking that it could never happen in your neighborhood, yet as your day goes on the thought sticks in your mind. You’re not that athletic and probably weaker than your average attacker, plus you live alone so if someone were to possibly follow you home they could hurt you or worse!

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· While sitting in a café with one of your friends the topic comes up again, they’ve always been scared of something like this happening to them and next thing you know it’s a few days later and they’re dragging you to a small building on the other side of your town. When they finally open the door you realize it’s some kind of martial arts center with a small gym inside, your friend explains that apart from teaching disciplines from all over the world they also offer beginner friendly self defense classes. What immediately catches your eye is the fact that in one corner of the building there’s a smaller group of people practicing their stances with bamboo swords, all being lead by a dark haired man, his features partially covered by it. His tall figure makes the movements look so elegant and you wonder how much it had taken for him to master such an art.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· “I’m surprised to see that there’s places that teach Kendo around here.” You tell your friend who lets out a small laugh in response. “ I know right! Yone, the instructor, started working here pretty recently and told us he started Kendo because his middle school offered it as an after school activity!” You smile at how your friend gushes about the man like you’re both in high school and talking about your crushes. You can’t help but admit that he looks very handsome, jet black hair kept up by a crimson red hair tie with just a few strands framing his sharp featues.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· It takes a while but after a few months you see yourself improving and you feel more at home inside the gym. Since becoming friends with some of the Kendo students you watch their matches during the break of your own lessons, you tried to talk to Yone as well but his replies were always brief and somewhat evasive. It was a shame since you really wanted to know him better but alas you respected him not being interested in socializing with you and moved on.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· You would have been shocked to know that he actually did want to talk to you. His brain would freeze upon hearing your voice say his name, a flurry of emotions overwhelming him. You didn’t know that the dusting of pink on his pale cheeks wasn’t from overexertion just as you didn’t know that your every move was being observed by him, both inside and outside of the center. At first Yone didn't understand what was going on with him, It’s like you awakened something new inside him: He was in utter love with your looks, the kind way you treated your friends and how supportive you were to everyone. Even the way you’d cutely stumble when trying to land a punch had his heart swell and he loved the fact that you wouldn’t give up on something despite not being a natural at it. He wanted to protect you, be the one you’d run to whenever there was danger.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· Thanks to the countless hours researching on the internet Yone finally finds out what was wrong with him, turns out that in all of the years he had spent living he had never really felt love and attraction to someone until you came around. He also finds out that a minority of people feel obsessed with the object of their affection, those people would usually hide their condition and live normal, quiet lives yet express their desires and seek support on anonymous forums and sometimes meet in real life. It is hard to accept at first, Yone sees how sick some of the people in the forums are, he considers himself a monster and that he should isolate himself from society to keep you safe.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· One day help comes up in the form of a reply on a post Yone made, it's the thing that Yone had failed to consider when first researching his obsessive tendencies. Anon says: "In your previous posts you mentioned they seem interested in you and try to talk to you, no? I take this as a good sign. Even though you are this way in a relationship you can compromise with them, many people don't even know they have partners with these tendencies and they get to live happy and fullfilling relationships."

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· Eventually the martial arts center decides to organize a new year’s eve dinner party for the members and everyone is going to attend. The convivial atmosphere is nice but after counting down until midnight your social batteries are a bit drained, the party goes on as you make your way to a corner with an empty couch and after a few minutes you feel the cushion next to you shift as a taller figure sits next to you. You start talking about something trivial, just to fill the weirdly tense silence between the two of you yet after a while your conversation diverts towards hobbies, movies and so on. Oddly enough you and Yone seem to have very similar tastes in many things, down to what you like to cook when you feel sick. After a while the only thing your brain can seem to focus is his smooth voice telling you stories from his childhood back in his hometown, things about his brother and the turbulent relationship they have and funny things that happened in his teens.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· You loose track of time as you sit there, Yone only noticing what time it was after he caught you stifling a yawn. “Apologies, I tend to ramble a bit when talking about these things. It wasn’t my intention to bore you.” He says, cheeks flushed just like when he was exercising back in the center. “Oh, you aren’t boring me at all! I’m actually very interested but your voice is also very relaxing!” You reply while your eyes shoot open, mentally beating yourself up for ruining the moment between the two of you. “My… you are flattering me tonight. It’s getting very late though, do you have a way to get home safely?” Yone asks, a sly grin on his face because of your compliment, you truly have no idea of how much your words can affect him.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· You look around only to find your friend sleeping soundly on a pillow that was haistily thrown on the floor next to some other people they are friends with, you know they would be unable to drive even if you woke them up. Thankfully Yone is right there for you, gently helping you put your coat back on and leading you away from the party towards his car with a hand on your shoulder. You have no idea how he knows the way to your house this well, even taking the shortcuts you usually take. Yone's hand that is idly stroking yours is a good enough distraction not to think about it though, he's so gentle when touching you and very much unlike to the self defense demonstrations he sometimes does with your instructor.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· It takes Yone more than five minutes to realize that you hugged him goodbye after he got you safely to your door, your body was so soft against the fabric of his turtleneck sweater and he finally got to feel your silky hair against his fingers. The night is far from over for him though, like usual he makes his way onto one of his many spots and sits down to watch you from one of your windows as you finish your night routine and get ready to sleep. To him being able to watch you this closely is very therapeutic, as you go about your day he likes to imagine himself living alongside you in a pretty house far away from everyone and everything. This time he can’t stop the images in his head from getting more vivid and he thinks that he truly has an opportunity to court you right and be the best partner for you.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· When he'll eventually ask you out you can't help but feel almost drowned in his affections and sweet words: he tells you for how long he has been waiting for this moment, that he will keep you safe from everything that scares you and that you'll never have to worry about anything when you're with him. You don't really notice it but Yone's presence is always looming behind you: you're almost always seen together and when you're not you make sure to always update on where you're going, you ask for his opinions on outfits and sometimes let him choose them for you. You seek for his approval and praise, his quiet smiles as you follow him around town when making errands always make you smile. Sure it might look overwhelming to some but it's something you're unconsciously appreciating, especially when he's basically your dream boyfriend and always talks you out of things that might be too "dangerous" for you. You're really lucky to have him to keep you safe, and even luckier because it looks like he has no intentions of ever leaving you.

NSFW AHEAD:

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· Since he’s very good at covering up him being a yandere, Yone also knows how to hide what his deepest fantasies are. After a while of dating you decide to try and ask him if there's anything more unorthodox he'd like to try in bed but the topic seems to fluster him, leaving him looking down and you apologizing profusely to him. You notice how every time you sleep together he seems to hold back and you want him to enjoy himself too but you also know that you can't force someone to open up about certain topics.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· For a while you’ve only seen one side of Yone: an attentive service top who on occasion will tease yet never doing anything that could be remotely uncomfortable to you. The way he memorizes your sweet spots is inhuman and he’ll always put your pleasure first and foremost. He also lives for your praise and will nuzzle his head in the crook of your neck to hide his rampant blush, it’s an instant boost of serotonin for him to hear that it's him who is making you feel this good. He also likes to praise you and the closer he is to finishing the more it transforms into a flowery ramble about how good and beautiful you are.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· He finally opens up to his more perverse side and you can’t help but be fascinated by it: he’s all about marking, claiming you in as many ways as he can so you’ll have visible love bites peeking from the neckline of your shirts and bruises on your hips because of how hard he can grip. Despite his hands being long and elegant they also are extremely strong, he likes to remind you he’s in control by forcing you to look at him in the eyes while you’re oh so close.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· Enjoys the amount of control that you give to him as well, when you first allowed him to tie your hands behind your back he was just so happy he was the only one who you’d ever allow to do this to you. Even though he gets a bit carried away and manhandles your body into certain positions he’ll still check in with you and stop instantly if he sees that you’re not enjoying it anymore. He loves it when you tell him you're his, that he's the only one who can see you like this and it will definitely turn him on more than he already is.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· Also encourages you to grip on his biceps or shoulders when things get more intense, the scratch marks on his skin are a token to the fact that he belongs to you, just like you belong to him. So any of the scars you leave are a trophy for him and he’ll proudly take his shirt off when he trains. (and then people will stare at you funny because at this point everyone knows you're dating)

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· The scar on his face is a bit of a sensitive topic, but after a while of being in a relationship with you he’ll let you touch it and kiss it. There’s many tender moments where you gently stroke his face in the middle of sex and he will melt internally whenever it happens, he’s never felt so cared for and understood before being with you and this only makes him more obsessed with you.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· You’ll be always treated like royalty, Yone tends to be up and about right after finishing so he’ll bring you whatever you need to rest. Unless you want cuddles as aftercare, if that’s the case he’ll hold you close to his chest because he learned pretty quickly how much it relaxes you, if you fall asleep you'll find yourself neatly tucked into your shared bed and if he has to go somewhere the next day he'll make sure to leave you some water and snacks on the bedside table for when you wake up.

#tbh i have a vague idea of how a martial arts center works #yone x reader #lol x reader #lol yone #anons.🍄

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