Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?
[Wayne Enterprises]
Tim: Finally, time for my break.
Tim: *opens his mini fridge*
*dozens of apples fall out*
———————
[the library]
Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*
Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*
Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.
———————
[day patrol]
Duke: *opens his lunchbox*
Duke: *sighs*
Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*
Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*
———————
[West-Reeve Middle School]
Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.
Jon: ...
Jon: Deal.
———————
[Bludhaven]
Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.
Jason: *hands him a bag*
Dick: What'd you get?
Jason: A frozen turkey. You?
Dick: *opens it*
*fire alarm goes off*
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Grasps u. When my hair grows out i am going to show ky hairstylist ur jason todd design bc hes just so gender
ahh thank you!!! i gave him my haircut tbh
oopsie. i took it back.
Tim did it on purpose
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Dcxdp #28
Danny being a clone of Hal Jordan/ Green Lantern and Bruce Wayne.
The Fenton's mistake Green Lantern for a ghost and use Bruce's DNA due to him being a rich benefactor. When Danny turned out completely human with no signs of ghostliness they decided to raise him as their son. mostly because Jazz gets attached. It doesn't really affect the storyline until Damien is introduced to the public. Sam and Tucker make jokes about them looking alike so they do a DNA test mostly as a joke. The DNA test is pinged through bat cave equipment.
The idea mostly came out because the two of them sharing custody of a kid sounds hilarious to me.
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Does Damian consider Selina a mom? No.
Do they gang up on Bruce to allow them to foster kittens in the manor? Absolutely.
I support Damian and Selina bonding over animals and manipulating Bruce.
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Ooh can we get headcanons for the batfam going camping?
Duke: Yo, Bruce—
Bruce: One second. Hey, Kate, where are you putting the grill?
Kate: As far away from you as possible.
Alfred: Likewise with the ingredients. We have a limited supply unless one of you plans on hunting.
Jason: *cocks his gun*
Damian: Only cowards kill animals. A true Robin uses his natural birdlike instinct to forage for edible plants.
Duke: Guys—
Steph: Last time we did that I ended up with a rash the size of New Jersey. Count me out.
Bruce: We packed enough. No need for hunting or foraging.
Cass, sadly: But I want to slurp river.
Selina: I'm not chaperoning if you do. You know how cats and water are.
Duke: Uh, guys—
Cullen, scratching a mosquito bite: Can someone please pass the bug spray?
Kate: It's in Bette's car and she's still at the last gas station.
Barbara: What about sunscreen? The UV index is off the charts.
Selina: I think Luke took when he went to the information center.
Carrie: Just stick next to a more enticing target.
Carrie: *crouches in Dick's shadow*
Dick, flipping his hair: What can I say? I'm irresistible.
Helena, annoyed: Are you just gonna stand there and look pretty or are you gonna help me pitch this tent?
Dick: I'll look pretty, thank you.
Harper: I got it, Helena. Boys, amirite?
Duke: Seriously, guys—
Bruce: Everyone, quiet!
Bruce: *does a headcount*
Bruce: Where's Tim?
Duke: Dangling off a cliff.
Bruce: WHAT?!?
Duke, shrugging: That's what I've been trying to tell you.
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a very poor sketch to keep you guys fed
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VILLAIN LAWYER TIM DRAKE
listen listen to me everyone sit down and listen
Bruce and Dick keep nagging Tim about how he dropped out of high school despite the fact he’s successfully topping the charts as the youngest CEO in the history of forever of a Forbes top 3 company, so he gets his GED and secretly goes to college and then passes the bar exam to become a lawyer, like how Daredevil from MARVEL is a lawyer for heroes. Except instead of heroes Tim is a VILLAIN lawyer and he’s VERY GOOD at his job.
He loves when Bruce Wayne has to attend a court session bc the defendant villain destroyed 47 million dollars worth of Wayne Co owned infrastructure, and Tim is at the stand successfully bringing the debt amount down. Every dollar off, Bruce looks more Tired and Defeated and it fuel’s Tim’s energy more than any coffee brand ever could.
Also Tim is in the perfect position to work hand in hand with the Goonion. He does pro bono work for them. He has an entire Goonion-partnered campaign just to steal workforce from the Joker.
Slogan: “Why work for the Joker when your chances of him killing you are worse than Two-Face’s 50/50? Riddler has life insurance policies and dental! Red Hood has life insurance policies, health and dental, and a solid PTO plan! Don’t work for a clown 🤡 who’s just gonna screw you over 😔 Gothamites are smarter than that!”
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