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billcipherapologist · 2 days

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batfam as things i and others have said pt 3

damian: you’re like mozart if he wasn’t dead

tim, playing piano: *shocked* did demon just compliment me? did i just get complimented by demon brat?

———

tim after rambling and making bruce confused: i know what im saying but you and me aren’t speaking the same language

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tim referring to hisself and kon: camera sluts and fire hoes

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duke explaining why he didn’t stop joker dying on day shift: sometimes murder happens

———

bruce: *talking about some medical thing*

tim who hasn’t slept and is overstimulated: do you have bugs in your skin

———

jason being a little shit: (talking about john Constantine) he didn’t do it with bruce but he should have! everyone should have an opportunity to do it with Bruce

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steph who forgot her adhd meds: coconut coconut does what ever a coconut does can he fly no he dies

———

tim: *having a breakdown casually* everything is so fineee, *sees a hot guy* im so gay

———

pt 1 pt 2

#jason todd #batfam #dick grayson #dc #tim drake #damian wayne #bruce wayne #stephanie brown #duke thomas #john constantine #my fav family #batfamily #incorrect quotes #i swear the context for some of these would be insaner than the last ome

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robintherobiner · 1 day

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What would the Wayne Family and the Bat Family post tiktok

Bruce: videos of him buying new outfits with the material girl sound over it because, according to one post, 'his kids said it was funny and he liked seeing them smile'. on his official account though (the wayne enterprises one) his 'social media manager' posts clips from interviews and soundbites.

Batman: does not have a tiktok.

Dick: posts videos of him either doing gymnastics or of him hanging out with his siblings. Most of the time he is throwing up a peace sign and then Tim and Damian are wrestling in the background and he captions it something along the lines of 'brothers drawing blood in Blud!'

Nightwing: posts videos of short self defense tips/poses, regularly collabs with Red Hood. (not that Jason knows this, Dick just sets up a camera and then goes and bothers his brother until he tries to punch him so he can teach people to block)

Barbara: Posts videos talking about accessibility (both whats available and what should be put in place). if one of the wayne's annoy her, she also will post a compilation of them doing something silly like tripping over thin air or being caught using a hairbrush as a microphone)

Oracle: posts clips of people doing non violent crimes (faces blurred out ofc) with the caption "the eye in the sky sees you, dumbass." because why would you try ack a car on a street with three non-hidden cameras

Jason: doesn't post. anymore. does have an account from when he was a teenager where it's just him doing sped up acting videos to sounds. he has tried to log in to take it down but Bruce changed the password. Brucie regularly comments on different videos like "my baby was such a star... rip sweetie 🕊️🕊️🕊️" and its Jason lip-syncing to fucking Justin Bieber or something

Red Hood: posts videos shitting on Batman. the comments were full of people saying "daddy issues" or "i wanna be a dealer just so you can shoot me babygirl" so he turned them off. sometimes someone (tim) turns them back on and Jason gets bombarded with "BRO IS SERVING CUNT"

Cassandra: posts videos of her doing ballet, or of her showing off her strength. Not on purpose though, she thinks its fun to post videos of her teasing her brothers and the comments are like "WHY DID SHE JUST PICK UP DICK GRAYSON WITHOUT EVEN BREAKING A SWEAT WHAT"

Orphan: has a shared account with Batgirl, but she doesn't post on it, just sort of stands in the background as Steph makes funny videos.

Stephanie: enjoys posting videos pretending to be dating both Tim and Cass because she thinks its funny when the internet call her a gold digger and cheater. Bernard (after going public with Tim) occasionally fuels the fire by commenting "lmao get ur bag girl" under a video of her dragging Tim to a resturant

Batgirl: posts videos of her making fun of rogues, and on her shared account with Cass, just joins in on trends but obviously mixing it to fit her (aka: "when Batman lectures you for breaking a criminals leg but your literally just a teenage girl")

Timothy: like Bruce, he has two accounts. One is professional, with him promoting Wayne Enterprises products or whatever. Second one is full of him doing wild shit like skateboarding down the manor stairs or him trying to confuse Bruce with cringey slang. his most popular video though, is of him using the Nepo Baby sound by Fox SZN

Red Robin: posts slideshows of pictures of Gotham. All very aesthetic ones, of good architecture and people laughing together and shit. His bio is "showing you guy why I do what I do." His account is very artsy fartsy but he also was the first batfamily member to get verified

Duke: doesn't post, just likes videos.

Signal: posts videos of him trying to scare the other vigilantes, cuz, yknow, he can go invisible. tell me you wouldn't do that either if you could be invisible. exactly, you can't. He also makes videos about how hard it is to be a teen vigilante.

Damian: videos of his pets doing tricks. also regularly stitches Tim's videos and just deadass insults him. Tim always comments on his stitches with just a singular emoji because he found out it pisses Damian off more when he doesn't have a big reaction

Robin: posts about resources for gothamites. also has a shared account with Superboy (Jon) where they try and sneak up on both Superman and Batman. They have yet to succeed on either one.

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leafsheep · 14 hours

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Some of the batfam have a mutually assured destruction policy when it comes to their secrets.

Like Damian knows about Tim’s missing spleen but he can’t tell Alfred bc then Tim would mention then multitude of surgeries he’s had to replace organs at the league and if that happens then Dick would get involved and then they’d mention his stint where he was trained by Deathstroke a few months after being kicked out of Gotham and then Jason would have to get involved because the “golden child” Dick Grayson trained with a mass murderer while Jason was becoming Robin? And of course that means Dick will point out how Jason has actively aided Selina in her burglaries since he met her and then while they’re at it he’ll also throw in all the tea he has on Khoa just to get Bruce in trouble too bc if they’re going do so is he.

Meanwhile Cass and Duke actually will just sit and eat ice cream together bc they’re smart enough to not let their shit be found out by the others. (They both actually know all of each others skeletons they’re just not snitches smh)

#dc comics #batman #dc robin #batfamily #jason todd #red hood #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #damian wayne #damian al ghul #tim drake #red robin #duke thomas #signal dc #cassandra cain #black bat #alfred pennyworth

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batfamhyperfixation · 3 days

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The batfam as tumblr posts except it is exclusively tumblr posts found on Pinterest

Bruce ‘I spend half my life publicly in tight outfits getting punched in the face by choice, and that’s the good half of my life’ Wayne:

Dick ‘what are healthy coping mechanisms? When I was 9 my parents died in front of me and instead of therapy I was put in booty shorts and taught how to punch shit’ Grayson:

Jason ‘you may have missed me but I won’t miss this shot’ Todd:

Tim ‘high school dropout skater boy turned CEO’ Drake:

Stephanie ‘The greatest con I ever pulled was convincing people I wasn’t competent; I took down my father twice, was batgirl Robin and my own OG hero, and literally died, but all anyone reduces me to is a romantic prospect for other heroes’ Brown:

Cass ‘I read people as if they’re Shakespeare, but you, my friend, are merely a picture book’ Cain:

Damian ‘competent is my middle name, you may think I lost but I’m just playing long game, you will be overtaken when you least expect it because it’s more satisfying that way’ Wayne:

Duke ‘call me the scooby gang with the extensive criminal record I’m gathering while running from my foster homes to investigate cause cops are shit’ Thomas:

Barbra ‘call me older sibling core cause big brother is always watching, literally just give me a name and I’ll drop coordinates within 5 minutes’ Gordon:

Alfred ‘You don’t stand a chance in this fight, I would pull out my shotgun and kill god myself if that fucker crossed me and you are significantly less skilled than him’ Pennyworth

#bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #damian wayne #duke thomas #barbra gordon #alfred pennyworth #batfam #batkids #bat family

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aflamboyanceofflamingos · 3 days

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The batfam ranked on their ability to recall dreams - Least to Most

Damian - Doesn’t dream besides nightmares

Jason - also doesn’t really dream, mostly just replay of memories so technically higher then Damian

Dick - Mostly remembers the feeling of a dream rather then the dream itself whether good or bad

Cass - remembers the people in her dreams, but not what was happing

Steph - either can’t remember at all, or remembers nearly all of it

Duke - opposite of Cass, can remember most things except for faces

Bruce - Easy to recall nightmares, but similar to Dick can remember the feeling of good dreams

Tim - Dreams so vivid and realistic he just fully believes they’re actually memories. This has served as an issue

#damian wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #cassandra cain #duke thomas #bruce wayne #tim drake #stephaine brown #batfam

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c-nstantine · 2 days

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Batsis is a bad bitch she can handle her own. Expect when it comes to bugs she’s calling her daddy and brothers with the quickness. You’re heroes and you save people so save me from that bug😩😩😩😩

Also, depending on the bug, that's who she calls. Like anything that resembles a worm, that's Damian territory. Damian reminds me of those kids who used to throw worms on people for fun. If it's anything spider related, that's Jason all day. He doesn't even kill them, he just puts them outside for her. If it has wings, Cass is the one who is agile enough to get it. Dick also hates bugs so the most he'll help with is ladybugs. Duke does not fuck with bugs, so he offers to let her crash in his room until the others deal with it. Best believe Gotham has some shit that no one has ever seen before so it's up to Tim to log it and find a way to kill it. Bruce literally doesn't know where these bugs keep coming from. He has an exterminator at her place like every three months. However, if he gets a call about how there's some weird bug looking at her, trust he is there in five minutes max.

#x black!reader #black!reader #x black reader #black reader #black!batsis #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #cass cain #duke thomas

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nahla-art · 2 days

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When life sucks but you pick up a kitten and it sucks less now

#Selina kyle #duke thomas #Catwoman #signal #dc comics #nahlaverse

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to-the-stars8 · 2 days

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The Waynes' Nanny

Batfamily and Reader/ Bruce Wayne x Reader Chapters Ao3

Plus One

Galas were exactly what you expected. It was a room full of rich, middle-aged people talking about the latest upper-class gossip with the most divine food. It would usually make anyone not from the dazzling world of the Gotham elite shiver and shake.

Fortunately, you weren’t just anyone. You were the nanny for Bruce Wayne.

The week before, Mr. Wayne had informed you that you would be attending the gala with him. At first, you were thrilled and honored to be invited along, but the dream of catching a rich man was cut short when Mr. Wayne added you would be watching Dick and Cassandra. Luckily, you loved the two kids like they were your own, so it caused you little grief.

“What about the other kids?” You had asked.

Bruce spared you a passive glance as he tended to some papers in front of him. “I have a rule that the kids can’t join a gala before age ten. And, please, don’t try to bring the younger ones. The kids already understand this rule. In any case, they don’t want to go half of the time.”

You scoffed, telling Mr. Wayne that you weren’t planning on bringing the rest of the kids despite that being exactly the case. Luckily, he had taken some measurements to dissuade you from doing so, i.e. promising you more days off.

The younger kids moaned and groaned about not going when they heard that you were going to be there, and Mr. Wayne was only able to soothe them over with a promise to Disney World during spring break. Then, the day came for the gala and the only ones ready were Mr. Wayne and you.

“Sir,” Alfred had said, coming into the foyer where you and Bruce had been waiting for Cassandra and Dick. “Master Dick and Miss Cassandra have changed their minds about the gala.”

“What?” Bruce said, going to call them down before you stopped him.

“You said it yourself, Mr. Wayne, half the time the kids don’t want to go.” You started to take your coat off in anticipation of having to stay with the children.

“What are you doing?” Bruce asked.

“Someone has to watch the kids,” You said, going to hand your coat to Alfred, but he didn’t take it.

Alfred spoke pointedly to his charge. “Master Bruce, I can take care of the children, I did it before and I don’t mind doing it again.”

“I…” Bruce began, pausing to look at you before nodding. “I mean, you’re already dressed and I’m out a plus one. Plus two, actually.”

You grinned, shrugging your coat back on as you followed him out the door.

And that’s how you ended up sitting with the Gotham elite telling another one of your long, intriguing tales. Bruce, looking at you from across the room, was surprised at how well you managed to acclimate yourself to the setting. Usually, when new folks entered the closed-off upper class of Gotham it was like throwing a person in a starving lion’s den. Somehow, you had managed to befriend the lion.

Bruce was too busy watching you to see Harvey saunter up to him, eyes switching between his friend and you. Harv could understand why his friend was staring. You were beautiful, sitting there so poised in a perfect-fitting blue dress as you charmed your way with the small crowd around you.

With a small smile, he finally addressed Bruce, “Something caught your eye?”

Bruce didn’t seem surprised by Harvey’s sudden appearance. “Not exactly. I’m more impressed by just how well she’s doing, and that she’s not embarrassing me.”

“That’s a little harsh,” Harvey admitted.

Bruce shrugged, trying to be dismissive. “I’m her boss. I don’t think I’m meant to be too nice.”

“She watches your kids, so I’d be careful.”

Bruce chuckled and shook his head, eyes going back to you. The longer Harvey watched his friend, he could see the wheels turning in his head. There was something Bruce didn’t want to admit, but it was stuck there behind his eyes.

Harvey, always the one to create his own amusement where it wasn’t provided, leaned in to ask, “So, is it okay if I ask her to dance?”

“I don’t care, Harvey,” Bruce said, eyes not leaving you.

“Then, would you care if I asked her out?”

Harvey finally got his friend’s attention. “I’m not her father, so you don’t need my permission.”

“Oh,” He said, thinking about how risque his next words would be but decided to damn it all. “So, I can take her home tonight, too?”

“Don’t be a pig, Harv,” Bruce mumbled before throwing back the rest of his wine. When the waiter passed, he quickly replaced it with another.

Harvey took that as his cue to go over to you. Upon his approach, your eyes trained on him like he would be your next target for whatever you had planned. Excusing yourself, you stood up and met him halfway. Harv couldn’t say exactly why but suddenly found himself flustered.

You held out your hand expectantly, and coyly said, “I believe you were going to ask me to dance.”

Speechless, all Harvey could do was take your hand and smile.

—

Bruce tried to watch passively, but he just didn’t like the way Harvey was using you. He might have had some qualms about your behavior, but no lady deserved to be treated like a piece of meat. Alfred had raised him better than that.

He thought about going in to cut in, and the only thing that stopped him was the flock of women that suddenly came to him. They were all asking about you, the ‘odd’ woman who had arrived on his arm of all people. Bruce attempted to not be offended on your behalf. He only half listened as they talked at him, asking asinine questions like what it was like to be so rich and if he really did date a princess for a solid week. He did, but it wasn’t a short-term relationship he wanted to delve into when you were only twenty feet away from being sized up for the taking.

It was a little while later when Bruce looked up again to find you and Harvey missing from the dance floor. Worried that you might have fallen for the devilish suave lawyer trick Harvey tended to put on, he tore himself from the group.

Bruce stopped to ask a waiter if he had seen you leave with a man in a navy suit. “I think I saw the lady go out the side service door.”

Okay, he thought, this was a bit more concerning. Following the waiter’s directions, after tipping him a hefty hundred, he did manage to find you again. You were huddled up on yourself against the evening chill with your phone pressed up against your ear.

“What did I tell you two about pulling hair,” You said, tone stiff with passive irritation, as you slowly paced in a circle. “You’ll go bald. So, listen to Alfred and go to bed. If I come home to you all awake no Disney.”

You turned to see Bruce standing there and pointed to the phone, mouthing that it was the kids. With a few exchanges of light threats followed by some sweet soothing did you finally end the call.

“Kids, am I right?” You huffed, hands on your hips. “What’re you out here for, anyway? Last I saw you, you were entertaining some ladies.”

Bruce leaned against the wall, reaching into his suit pocket for a pack of cigarettes, and said, “Didn’t think it would be appropriate if you stepped out with Harvey.”

“Him, hah!” You snickered, holding your hand out for a cigarette. “I had him pegged right from the moment he was crossing the dance floor that he wasn’t thinking with the right head. Guess it was a bad idea for me to accept his offer for a date, but oh well.”

Before Bruce could reach for a lighter you were already pulling one from your little handbag. You lit your cigarette before stepping close to light his. He told himself the cigarette was taking his breath away and not the smell of your perfume.

“What was that phone call about,” Bruce asked, wanting to fill his mind with something other than you.

You blew out some smoke, smiling as you explained, “I decided to check on the kids, and, it turns out, Tim and Jason have some sort of beef going on.”

“I think Jason didn’t like it all too much when I brought Tim home—made him feel like a replacement.” Bruce was smiling a little despite how sad the story sounded. “We’re working it out.”

“I couldn’t tell,” You sarcastically remarked, side-eyeing him. It was easy for Bruce to say they were ‘working it out’ because you did all the work. You drew in another puff before looking at the cigarette in your hand again. “Hey, what’re you doin’ carrying these around? You seem too tight-laced to smoke.”

“What’re you doing asking so many questions,” Bruce meant to say playfully, but it sounded too defensive. Before you could rebuff, he added, “I took them away from Dickie.”

You gasped. “No.”

Bruce was grinning now, thinking about it. Alfred had caught Dick and Jason smoking behind the garage one day, and, boy, did they get the lecture of a lifetime. He had forgotten about the pack, having thrown it into the glove box of his car, until he ran into a particularly rough night at a gala. Now, he’d gone through most of the pack.

You shook your head. “That boy is something else.”

“I know,” Bruce said. “I love him to bits. All of them.”

“I know,” You said quietly, looking up at Bruce through those long lashes.

Damnit, you were beautiful. Shaking his head, Bruce threw the last bit of his cigarette to the ground before offering you his hand.

“Let’s go back in, hm? If we’re out here too long they’ll assume I have you hiked up against the wall.”

You rolled your eyes and said cheekily, “A girl can dream.”

Bruce snickered as he tried the door, but it didn’t budge.

Damn, he realized he’d just locked the two of you out of his own gala.

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p1nkshield · 22 hours

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Duke: everyone thinks that I’m the normalest of the batkids. That I’m bewildered by the feral nature of my siblings.

*Jason, Steph and Tim all fighting over a cookie in the background*

Duke: I’m not.

*Becomes a beacon of blinding light*

Steph, Jason and Tim’s nocturnal selves: 😖

*Takes cookie with ease*

Bruce comes in: What was that?

Duke: idk I’m new.

#duke thomas #let bro be a menace #bruce wayne #stephanie brown #jason todd #timothy drake #dc batfam #batkids

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cassandracain52 · 1 day

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My Batfamily’s favorite superheros headcanons

Dick: Superman (is actually supported by cannon several times)

Barbara: Robin. Note: She never says which one because she enjoys watching the chaos (It’s Dick tho)

Jason: Wonder Woman (I don’t know where exactly this headcanon first started but it feels so in character it’s perfect)

Cass: Batgirl/Oracle (I just feel like she looks up to Babs a lot, similar to how Damian admires Dick)

Tim: Blue Beetle/Ted Kord (I’m basing this solely off when Tim goes full fanboy in Birds of Prey (1999) issue #19) Note: Will say Batman if asked as he is an Batman Stan first

Stephanie: Black Canary (basing this off of Birds of Prey #40)

Duke: Flash (Shamelessly Based off Wayne Family Adventures, feels right)

Damian: Batman. Note: Will not specify which if asked

Bruce: It’s Alfred.

#batfam #damian wayne #stephanie brown #tim drake #duke thomas #bruce wayne #dick grayson #barbara gordon #jason todd #cassandra cain #headcanon #this is a joke #don’t take this too seriously #if you disagree that’s chill too #That’s why I said headcanon

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