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incorrectbatfam · 3 days

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Jason: You’re toast!

Stephanie: Oh yeah? You and what toaster?

#source: danny phantom #jason todd #red hood #stephanie brown #spoiler #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics

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d3jha · 2 days

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I feel like the bats have walked off Life threatening injuries like

Clark: batman ermm... he got a hole there

Bruce: And? *beating The belief of God into an alien.*

Wally: NIGHTWING!

Dick:what

Wally WHAT? YOU JUST GOT SHOT

ROY: Did I just here your bones crack!?!

Jason:oh yah just my ribs

Roy:Jason why do I see a gunshot wound near where your rids are Broken

Kon:...

Tim:what?

Kon:how the fuck are you alive.

Tim: <who just fell of a cliff> Spite and pettiness

Jon:Damian... there is a knife in your back

Damian: it's not important

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wondersinwaynemanor · 3 days

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at the Watchtower

~

Batman, currently having an intense workout at the gym.

Green Arrow, enters the area: Adding more muscles on you, Bats? Don't you have enough on you?

Batman, briefly glances in Green Arrow's direction: Hn.

Batman does cardio for a while before disappearing to the showers to freshen up, leaving Green Arrow confused.

-

Batman, eating in peace at the cafeteria.

Flash, suddenly zooms in front of the table: Slow down on the protein, Bats. Leave some for us.

Batman, narrows his eyes at his teammate, clearly bothered by the disturbance.

Flash, gulps, before running away: Forget I said anything. Byeee!

~

Superman: Did Batman just jog around the tower for 3 hours?

Wonder Woman: It's more than that.

Superman, calls for Batman, when he passes by them: You preparing for an off world mission that we don't know about, Batman?

Wonder Woman waits for a reply, hands on her hips.

Batman, growls: None of your business.

Superman and Wonder Woman exchange a look and just let him be.

Superman: He must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Wonder Woman, smiles: I think I have an idea on what's happening.

--

at the Manor:

~

his kids noticing his workout routine as well.

Dick: Ooooh, you trying to impress a special someone, B?

Cass: You don't have a condition, right?

Steph: It's not depression, right?

Damian: You signed up for a marathon, Father?

Duke: Is this involving your next mission with the Justice League?

Jason: Bane giving you a hard time, old man?

Tim: You're not missing a spleen too, right?

Bruce, sighs: None of the above.

Bruce: As you are all grown up now, I need some extra strength to carry you when you need me for anything.

there is a brief silence as his kids internalize on what he said.

Dick: Awww, B is getting soft in his old age.

Cass just smiles.

Steph: Woah. Bruce must have been doused with cheesiness or something.

Damian: Tt. We appreciate it, Father, but don't over work yourself.

Duke: Dami's right. We can handle ourselves, Bruce.

Jason: Ugh. I didn't come back from the dead for this.

Tim: As long as you're not missing any body part like me.

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bibibusinessman · 23 hours

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shyjusticewarrior · 1 day

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Jason about Tim:

Tim about Cass:

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yourlocal-edgelord · 15 hours

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batfam as stuff i do

Alfred: I’m too old to deal with this shit, but i have to deal with this shit because my idiots caused this shit (in my case the idiots are my friends)

Bruce: We stay up tonight and overwork our life awayyyyy

Dick: Made a nano tape bubble first try after sibling failed 15 times

Jason: Ooh a new book? Dont mind if i do

Tim: Dropped my orbeez? time for a mental break down

Steph: Fuck math, fuck anything to do with math, math absolutely sucks

Cass: Conditioned my hair again for the first time in a long time, now i look like wonder woman

Duke: Starting a fake cult between me and my friends doesnt count as an actual cult right?

Damian: Random kitty on the street? Cmere kitty lemme pet you, ‘can i take it home?’

#batfam #batfamily #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #stephanie brown #cassandra wayne #cassandra cain #batfam headcanons #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth #steph brown #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batfamily headcanons #batfam shenanigans #batfam incorrect quotes #batsiblings

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vodrae · 6 months

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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 3 months

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The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

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audhd-nightwing · 5 months

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dick grayson (5’10” with the body of a gymnast): this is my baby brother!

jason todd (6’3” brick wall of muscle): …hi

***

cass wayne (5’5” with the body of a dancer): little brother!

jason (almost a whole foot taller than her): hiya cass

#proud member of the ‘cass is older than jason’ community #let dick and cass bond over being the eldest siblings #jason is their little baby brother okay #even if cass is only a few months older than him #dc comics #batsiblings #dick grayson #cassandra wayne #jason todd #cassandra cain #cass wayne #the batfamily #batfamily #batkids #dc #dcu #batman #batman comics

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firerose18991 · 7 months

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Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet. They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

#Enough on Tim #let's talk about why Bruce doesn't age #bro has three adult children 10 years younger than him #and HE WAS A HIGHSCHOOL DELINQUENT #bruce wayne #batfam headcanons #batsiblings #batboys #batkids #batdad #incorrect batfamily quotes #nightwing #red hood #tim drake #damian wayne #batman #justice league #chaos shit #with love my loves

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incorrectbatfam · 2 days

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Bruce: What did you do at school?

Damian: Built a catapult.

Bruce: For a class, right?

Damian:

Bruce: Right?

#source: twitter #bruce wayne #batman #damian wayne #robin #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics

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fanaticalthings · 12 days

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I really like the idea of the bat kids designating Dick and Jason's apartments as sibling gathering spots but for opposite reasons.

Sibling needs some comfort? Some eldest daughter advice? A shoulder to cry on or just a lil getaway spot from the chaos of Gotham? Dick's apartment is perfect.

But if a batkid wants to complain, maybe wants to talk shit about Bruce, or maybe even wants to discuss a lil felony in a judgement free zone? Jason's place it is.

And I like to imagine that while Dick readily keeps his doors open and reminds anyone that they can drop by anytime, it's the opposite for Jason.

Dude's got his place riddled with traps and locked up to the high heavens. He makes it obvious he doesn't want visitors, and vaguely insinuates that there are bombs rigged somewhere in his apartment so there's a always a 50/50 chance you might get blown up if he's feeling particularly bitchy one day.

But does that stop his siblings? Absolutely not. Unlike Dick (who assigns himself as the guiding older brother), Jason has been forcefully labelled as the older sibling you go to if you need to complain and stir up havoc. The hundreds of traps in his place mean nothing. And it's worse because Jason is never prepared for when someone drops in.

-----

[Jason, 3 hours into his sleep, blearily waking up to a weight on his chest at 4am]:

[Damian, perched atop him, eyes dead-centre locked onto Jason without blinking]: Hello, Todd-stop screaming it is unbecoming-I just came to tell you that father won't allow me to adopt another stray I found on patrol.

Jason, half-asleep and like 70% sure he's hallucinating: Wha-

Damian: I need you to blow up his car.

Jason:

-----

[Jason, arriving home after a 6 hour patrol, exhausted out of his mind, turning on the lights]:

[Stephanie, previously baking brownies in the pitch black darkness before Jason arrived]: Oh hey! Just thought I'd drop by, y'know, for fun.

Jason: Bruce yelled at you again.

Stephanie: Bruce yelled at me again.

And yes, while most of the time, it ends up as wholesome sibling bonding, sometimes the other batkids just feel like inconveniencing Jason just whenever, because what are siblings for?

[Jason waking up and seeing all of his traps and security systems disarmed and very deliberately broken in a way where he'll have to replace all of them instead of being able to reactivate them]:

[Jason, immediately dialing his phone angrily]: Tim, I swear to GOD-

-----

[Jason giving himself a rest-day and cooking some meals]:

[Dick somersaulting in through the open window unannounced (he missed his brother)]: Whatcha up to, littlewing? :>

Jason: GET OUT-

-----

[Jason casually reading a book, feeling a sudden chill up his spine]:

[Cassandra standing in the corner without so much as an exhale, watching Jason intensely. Who knows how long she's been there]:

Jason: Are you here to kill me

Cass:

Jason: Just make it quick.

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nightwolf14292 · 2 months

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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

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dragonpyre · 1 month

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Secret Robin au

Bruce was on edge for the rest of patrol

Prev / Next / Commission info / ko-fi

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shyjusticewarrior · 10 hours

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I don't really have strong feelings about what Cass and Jason's dynamic should be. But I think people who think Jason would hate Cass for believing in not killing don't understand Jason as a character.

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yourlocal-edgelord · 17 days

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Cass: Baby brother

*Jason Tim and Damian look up in response*

*Jason and Damian noticing each other looking up*

Damian: She’s talking to me Todd

Jason: Pretty sure she was talking to me pipsqueak

Cass shaking her head: baby brother hurt

Jason with a cut on his forearm: Told ya it was me *sticks out tongue*

*Tim trying to hide the fact he dislocated his shoulder while creeping upstairs*

Cass pointing up at tim: Baby brother

*offended noises from both jason and damian*

Jason clutching his heart in mock hurt: I thought i was your baby brother cass

#Cass:*rolling her eyes*#*stalks upto tim*#*grabs tim and drags him to med bay*#Tim just wanted coffee #batfam #batfamily #batfam headcanons #tim drake #jason todd #red robin #red hood #cassandra cain #orphan #black bat #damian wayne #dc robin #robin #batsiblings

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