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bibibusinessman · 2 days

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giotanner · 2 days

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Who is the Wayne household butler's favorite "adopted grandson"? I know we joke about it a lot, but even in the canon we can see several times how Alfred is closer to Jason Todd. I want to be clear this is not to belittle the others, he really loves them. But just as every parent will always have that child most like them, so too Alfred finds in Jason that little child most like him. A street child hungry to acculturate, he hangs on the butler's words because he sees him as a worker compared to the billionaire Bruce Wayne so Jason slowly approaches and learns. Because Jason Todd takes it all as a new chance, a new chance for redemption and learns what it means to have passions and hobbies. And Bruce is there, but where Bruce is not then Butler comes: rules of bon ton, quotes from classic books, ethnic foods and anecdotes from the war and adventures in London.

That child then broke down and so many things fell out of place, maybe Jason just doesn't have all those memories. But the muscle memory and his favorite things remain. So maybe someday you might find him crouched on a rooftop intent on reading the paperback version of Northanger Abbey after cold-cocking three Black Mask goons at the docks.

#jason todd #alfred pennyworth #Jason was like #“Do I have any time ... free? I can read without feeling guilty about taking time away from finding ways to make money”#And I don't smell the cigarette smell around-it's so strange #red hood #dc comics #dc jason todd #jason todd headcanon #batfam headcanons #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd edit #dc robin #batman and robin

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thedevilundercover · 6 hours

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The bat kids should threaten to get adopted by Tim every time Bruce is being a dickhead or just an inconvenience in anyway shape or form. Tim is paranoid enough to have his foster license and probably overthinks it enough to have Gotham CPS under his control. (Some people are bribing the cops while this man is bribing CPS smh.)

And like when Bruce over steps, they’re like “ok then, Tim’s my new dad now. “ Then they go camp out at Tim’s place for a while.

Usually the younger ones (+Cass) do this but it’s even more hilarious when Dick and Jason catch on to this. I think that Jason would do it first tho

Like imagine if Bruce refused to give Jason money for ammo or smth:

Bruce, literally so tired bc of this: Jaylad, for the last time, I’m not giving you money to buy real bullets. I'd be happy to buy you the rubber ones.

Jason, the most extra, dramatic younger-sibling-turned-older-sibling: Ok then, I get it, you don’t love me anymore. I can take a hint. You know what? I’ll do you a favour and get myself adopted by Tim *cue fake sniffles and dramatic exit*

Bruce, so so tired this has happened like twenty times this week already and it’s Wednesday: Oh my god why does he keep stealing my kids what the fuck

Tim also has no concept of money so he just shrugs, hands them his black amex and lets them do whatever the fuck they want

#batman #bruce wayne #tim drake #dcu #jason todd #red robin #dick grayson #batfam headcanons #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #red hood

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yourlocal-edgelord · 2 days

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adreamfromnevermore · 2 months

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Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.

Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children

Barry: Bats really loves his kids.

Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite

Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.

He could break someone in half. Like a twig.

He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)

And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.

And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.

To steal his dog.

And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.

But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!

And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.

#batman #dc #bruce wayne #batfamily #batfam headcanons #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #robin #spoiler #red robin #justice league

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galahadwilder · 18 days

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Some Justice Leaguer: so who’s the most likely among you to turn into a supervillain?

Tim: well, Damian, obvio—

Everyone else, simultaneously: IT’S TIM

Tim: wait what? I would’ve figured at least one of you would say Jason

Dick: Timber how many war crimes did you commit yesterday

Tim:

Tim: four

#batfam #batfam headcanons #batfamily #Tim Drake #Red Robin #original content

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therandomfandomme · 5 months

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why do i imagine the batfam finally meeting the league and then one of them going 'how the fuck do you have so many kids?' and little shit Jason goes 'well, when two people love each other very much...' and because Bruce doesn't wanna listen to this, he tiredly reminds Jason: 'you're adopted' which naturally means that Jason is going to dramatically pretend that this is the first time he's heard that and how could Bruce keep this from him, much to the horror of the league and the exasperation of Bruce

#rrrambles #tbh it could be done with all of the batkids #but it just felt like jason to me #batfam headcanons #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #jl #justice leage of america #justice league #jla #dc #dc comics #dc headcanon

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jesterraconteuse · 13 days

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You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like

As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.

There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.

On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.

But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.

Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.

Do you see my vision?

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mayamarvil · 4 months

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Canon: Jason breaks into Wayne Manor when he feels like it

Sidenote: But do people bother to checkout the issue after seeing these posts? or even add it to their tbr list?

Batman Eternal #10

#dc #dc comics #batman #bruce wayne #batfam #jason todd #red hood #alfred pennyworth #batfamily #batfam headcanons

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batfamilycannons · 3 months

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Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?

Damian and Tim: tf??

Tim: uh I think Jason’s in the library?

Bruce: no not him the other one

Dick, *scurries past the door*

Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire

Dick: You deserve it!!

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bibibusinessman · 2 days

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violent138 · 24 days

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The idea of the Batkids doing normal people things while suited up is hilarious to me, you know, like Red Robin and Spoiler making the 9 o'clock news while racing through a grocery store because they totally forgot to get the things Alfred asked them to bring for the family dinner. Or Damian and Dick swinging into the Bludhaven Zoo mid-patrol because Dami really wanted to see the new baby tiger. Red Hood buying lemonade from a kid's stand and then standing there awkwardly messing with his helmet, trying not to hurt the kid's feelings. Black Bat, on a particularly tiring day randomly appeared in the nosebleeds of the ballet hall and started sniping phones out of people's hands. Or Signal and a deeply irritated Batman changing out a blown-out tyre in some back alley, earning amused looks.

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strawberrylet · 1 year

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idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.

Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?

Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.

-

Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:

Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...

-

Flash: batman… who is this?

Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.

Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!

Batman: her name is robin

-

Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?

Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.

Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!

Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*

#batman #robin #dc robin #justice league #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #steph brown #damian wayne #batfam #dc hcs #batfamily #robins #batfam hc #batfam headcanons #batman hc #batman headcanon

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firerose18991 · 6 months

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Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet. They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

#Enough on Tim #let's talk about why Bruce doesn't age #bro has three adult children 10 years younger than him #and HE WAS A HIGHSCHOOL DELINQUENT #bruce wayne #batfam headcanons #batsiblings #batboys #batkids #batdad #incorrect batfamily quotes #nightwing #red hood #tim drake #damian wayne #batman #justice league #chaos shit #with love my loves

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yourlocal-edgelord · 6 days

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feel like one day the batfam would just grow fed up of jason bragging that he died once and use it against him

———

Jason: You know i died on-

Bruce: My son died once, it was a very hard time for us all we spent it grieving

Jason: …

——

*Jason walking in with a stab wound*

Dick looking at the dagger clearly alarmed: What happened baby bird?!?

Jason: No big deal, nothing compared to my de-

Dick: you know my baby brother died once, he could die again, I’m going to get B to bar you from patrol since death is so traumatic for you.

Jason pausing wide eyed: WHAT?!?

———

Tim: cool shirt steph

Steph: Thanks i tye dyed it with cass

Jason: You know i died once

Tim sighing and looking out the window wistfully: It wasn’t you that died jason, it was the mAgIc iN rObIn

*steph cracking up*

#Jason: I DIED ONCE #Damian: ok and?#batfam #batfamily #batfam headcanons #batman #tim drake #jason todd #red robin #dick grayson #red hood #stephanie brown #bruce wayne #nightwing #spoiler #batgirl #spoiler dc #steph brown #jasons death

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tarta-de-limon · 15 days

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It's the first time I draw them, still figuring out how to

#fanart #illustration #dc comics #comic art #batman comics #dc batman #batman #dc batfam #batfamily #batfam headcanons #dc jason todd #jason todd #richard grayson #dick grayson #dick and jason #dc nightwing #dc red hood #dc dick grayson

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