Listen, not only do I like the Batfam being completely human (except Duke, of course), I think it's such a vital part of their characterization. Each of them rely on their humanity and vulnerability in a different way, but it's still a core part of them.

That being said, I love the idea of Gotham's many curses and magical bullshit changing its inhabitants, and more important, enhancing her protectors.

Not by much, but enough for people to say "they're human... right?" and not being sure of the answer. It works better inside the city, where Lady Gotham herself can ensure her warrior's safety, but it lingers and it stays on them.

The way Bruce can blend a bit too well with the shadows, to the point not even metas can see him if he doesn't want to be seen.

The way Dick's body bends a bit further than should be possible, his muscles stretching and his bones at angles that would cause pain to most.

The way Jason is a bit too quiet for his body mass, how he seems to be able to move without making a sound despite his size.

The way Tim is a bit too quick-witted, a bit too observant, finding his enemies' weaknesses and flaws far too easy for a fast-paced combat.

The way Steph seems to always be on the right place at the right time, as if she were being guided to those in danger. She is always where she is needed.

The way stray animals like Damian a bit too much. They care for him and have his back in a display of intelligence that's not quite natural.

Yet they all still bleed. They feel pain and they cry and they are vulnerable.

Because they're still human.

Right?

Batfam Headcanon #1

Jason is a Kesha stan and once the rest of the family had to listen in on his comm as he raided a Two Face warehouse while blasting "Tik-Tok" on repeat

Bruce with baby!Jason and toddler!Dick

Dick figuring out words but moves like he has no bones, cartwheeling, and Bruce has to keep running before him because Dick forgets the room eventually ends and then gets his forehead straight into a wall

Baby Jason Soo sweet and affectionate. Doesn't know how to give Bruce kisses so he'll kiss Bruce by bitting (but don't worry he doesn't have teeth yet)

Baby Jason being carried by toddler Dick is SOOO cute. Alfred taking pics, he's a proud grandpa

Dick likes when Bruce holds him upside down and giggles so loud it echoes. Jason who sometimes get so tired but still want to stay awake to play with Dick and Bruce

Jason will eat anything if he sees his big brother eating too. Jason who loves to watch cartoon with stories. He'll nod along to what Bruce says to him

Bruce getting back from a mission, says "ouch". Jason sees it, says "ooouch?"

Bruce will be talking to Dick and Jason will start to cry because he wants to be included in the conversation! He'll even babble along

One of those grey but comforting evenings where there's lots of rain and wind, Bruce flat out dead (sleeping) in the couch, Jason napping in his chest, Dick between the couch and Bruce and using his arm (that is not holding Jason up) as a pillow, snoring

Jason that pouts when he's focused (playing with his teether). Isn't easily tickled but does laugh when Bruce kisses his feet

His first word is "dick"

Cass doesn’t look, she glares

Tim doesn’t smile, he grimaces.

Damian doesn’t speak, he growls.

Jason doesn’t raise his voice, he screams.

Duke doesn’t watch, he scrutinizes.

Dick doesn’t smooth talk, he manipulates.

Steph doesn’t laugh, she cackles. Manically.

Bruce’s children are a little damaged, a little odd. If not in big ways, then in the smallest of ways that so clearly sets them apart from everyone else. Their line of work demands it, their breeding encourages it.

It’s just how they were made. Once they’ve been touched by the shadows of Gotham, it never leaves their veins.

It’s in their blood now. It’s seen in their eyes, their smiles. The twitch of their face, the narrowing of their gaze.

Gotham’s embrace never lets you go.

Fear Gas hc: Tim edition

Tim has a ton of fears and horrific memories that the fear gas can craft into nauseating tales of terror. He's seen them all: his parents dying, his friends dying, Tim becoming what he's fought against, Ra's being creepy, falling from the dinosaur, that godsdamned desert, etc.

What's the one fear that absolutely grips Tim until he's screaming, crying, and throwing up?

Jason dying again.

When the family found out about how Jason's second death petrifies Tim, they asked why Jason specifically. Tim shakily smiled and told them that Jason's first death was horrific and he never wants that to happen again. The family takes that answer. They ensure Jason is always available for Tim when he gets hit with the toxin. The only way for Tim to calm down, even after receiving the antidote, is for him to feel Jason's heartbeat.

Tim lied, though. Yes, seeing any of his siblings dying is horrific and one of his fears. Jason, though? That fear is born out of selfish necessity.

When Jason died the first time, Tim was the only one who was able to get through to Bruce. The teen loved his Robin run, but it was also extremely traumatic.

If Jason dies again and Bruce needs to be put back together, Tim would do it. Of course he would. He loves Bruce, his father. He would assist his dad and family without hesitation.

The process would kill him.

Tim fears Jason dying because he knows it would destroy his family and kill Tim as well.

Gotham city caves to public pressure and asks Gordon to ask the Bats if they'd be willing to partake in Superhero Story Time at various Gotham Public Library locations. Bruce tells his kids, expecting to get annoyed replies about how busy they are, but they practically compete for shifts.

All the Bats are very committed to making fun voices, even if they already have a voice modulator on, and engaging the kids. As a result, the kids love it, it's the safest way to visit a Gotham public library, and the kids find it hysterical when the Bats eventually have to pull a vanishing trick or escape at the end.

the batkids absolutely have a shared spotify account. they each have playlists with the songs they like to listen to while patrolling/doing cases/training/etc.

it’s very popular; gothamites absolutely love listening to it. there have been physical fights over who has the best music taste. sometimes, if they know there’s going to be a specific bat around, they’ll play their playlist. red hood’s is playing somewhere in crime alley pretty much all the time.

the only person who doesn’t have access is bruce, because he might delete the ‘fuck batman’ playlist (which is, of course, a playlist of all the songs bruce hates. they play it whenever he annoys them).

they even have specific playlists for fighting different rogues. oracle can and will take over any speakers she can find to play them.

Headcanon that each batkid has one (1) person that if confronted by will make them fold like a house of cards.

Babs? She figured Dinah was being possessed in like 4 seconds because she wasn’t overcome with the urge to confess everything and it was weird.

Dick? Barry Allen. No one must ever know.

Jason? Alfred. Obviously.

Cass? Also Alfred. Those cookies are worth spilling all secrets.

Steph? Diana. She’s just so cool, okay? (Jason: I mean, she’s not wrong)

Tim? Martha Kent. Kon has attempted to use this to his advantage.

Duke? It was once, okay? Not statistically significant. Or something. Hopefully Cass just doesn’t need or want to know anything from him ever again.

Damian? Jason. It is his greatest weakness, and one he still can’t figure out how it came to be.

hc that even though we know that dick and bruce are like…hot, that all of the robin batboys are just like…ethereal gorgeous. and just like their mothers.

like dick, we already know man’s is gorgeous beyond belief.

jason is more handsome than pretty, but he looks just like his mom when she was younger and perhaps kinder, with long lashes and flush cheeks and plump lips, and looking like an angel when he wasn't about to shoot.

tim is the scary type of beauty. like janet drake, who was ready to cut someones throat in a second, ready to negotiate and ruin someones life with that cold cold smile. like the devil, with beauty that makes everyone around him envious. skinny, pale with blood red lips plump lips, high cheekbones, and a cold smile that makes you fall inlove and know that you're making a great mistake at the same time.

damian is always told how much he looks like a younger bruce, but really he looks a lot like talia. with soft, smooth hair, sharp green eyes like a tiger, pink lips that form a pout when he doesn't get what he wants, and beautiful dark caramel skin that still holds his baby fat, that will be filled with muscle like both of his parents.

yk those little behavior chart things where you get gold star stickers if you behave well? the batfam has one in the cave

each batkid has a specific thing they get a star for doing/not doing

jason gets a star every time he doesn’t lethally shoot anyone (like, not causing any permanent physical trauma) / manages not to shoot anyone in general

it’s the same with damian but for stabbing/using his sword

dick gets a sticker every time he tells someone he’s injured instead of hiding it (he… doesn’t have very many stickers)

tim gets a sticker every time he admits he needs help instead of trying desperately to be perfect

steph gets a sticker every time she lets one of them check that she’s okay instead of brushing them off

cass gets a sticker every time she doesn’t put herself in pointless danger or take unnecessary risks

duke refuses to participate because he finds it weird and pavlovian, but he’ll still put some up for fun

they all get one every time they use healthy coping mechanisms instead of self-destructive ones

they make their own for bruce and he gets a sticker every time he actually talks about feelings/successfully comforts one of them

Don’t come for me on this guys

AU where a robber breaks into the manor but the batkids are there and are actively encouraging the robber to loot the entire house

dick's nicknames for his siblings is by far my favourite thing ever.

jason gets "little bird" and "little wing" typical little brother shit. it doesn't process for dick to change these when jason ends up taller and beefier than him.

tim gets "timbers", "timbo", and "redbird". dick called him "timbers" the night they first met, the night tim watched his performance at the circus.

damian gets "babybat". he pretends to hate it. he doesn't. he does get "batbrat" from others, but dick never indulges. "little shit" also works.

cass gets "acrobat" but like.. bat. he also calls her "cassie" every now and then but she definitely hates that.

stephanie gets the usual. "steph". she thought this meant dick hated her for the longest time, until one day dick came out with "stephy" and immediately regretted it. everyone laughed. he admitted to her that he just couldn't think of anything nice enough.

and for duke, he gets "bumblebee". jason thinks it's hilarious. dick thinks it's sweet.

Headcannon that when Alfred finally caves and allows the Wayne family to get a roomba, the bat brothers just go nuts over it:

Damian names it, and gets disgruntled when people simply refer to it as “the roomba”. Like, no, that is Cerberus? Get it right please

Tim tampers with it on more then one occasion. Hooks up some motion activated speaker/microphone mechanism complete with a voice modulator so that he can speak to whoever it passes. Steph is convinced for a whole WEEK that the roomba is sentient

Jason puts a few knives sticking out from it at some point. The whole family can hear Bruce’s screams when it enters his study.

And Dick just turns the damn thing off every time he sees it. He thinks it’s the worst purchase of all their collective lives

If Thomas Wayne was a surgeon then that means that he wasn't running wayne enterprises while alive. So I present to you: Martha wayne took over the company.

Young Thomas Wayne meets Martha Kane at a gala and they become fast friends. Martha is smart and cunning, business savy, more than Thomas was. So he convinces her to go to business school (rather scandalous for the time- assuming it's the late 40's) while they are in school and Thomas is going through medical school the two fall in love and by the time Martha graduates they decided to get married and Martha Kane is now Martha Wayne. Shortly after Thomas graduates his father decides that he can no longer run WE and Thomas, being an only child is troubled. He didn't want to run the company and honestly hadn't thought of what to do when his father stepped down. Lucky he had a brilliant beautiful, and did he say brilliant wife who just so happend to go to business school.

: ) I regect model Martha wayne because that's boring, CEO Martha wayne who was simply a fashion icon and often on the cover of magazines is better (nothing wrong with model Martha but I want Martha to be more than Bruce's mom)

My favourite Tim headcanon is that Alfred the cat absolutely adores him and Damian tries his hardest to convince the cat that Tim isn't that great

Tim has walked by Damian's room a few times and seen that the kid has gathered all of his animals together. Titus the dog, Alfred the cat, Batcow the cow, and whatever other animals are at the Manor are shoved into Damian's room. Tim would have told Dick about it, part to see Damian get lectured and part to see Dick coo at Damian, but he pauses when he overhears the conversation.

"Don't be fooled by Drake's demeanor. He may appear as if he is capable of excellent pets, but consorting with the enemy is prohibited. Some of you," Damian side eyes Alfred but doesn't outright mention him, "have taken to begging for pets. This is unacceptable behavior."

The lecture to the animals goes on for another ten minutes.

When the animals are released, Damian walks into the library to find Alfred the cat stretched out on Tim's lap. For a split second, Tim catches the betrayed and then exasperated expression of Damian. The kid quickly covers it up.

A week later, Tim catches the animals and Damian in another meeting.