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#sorry but i love when the kids are not alright
tojikai · 2 days
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Sundered (Alt. Ending): CRUSH
Pairing: Gojo x reader - Toji x reader (this part)
• Part 1  |  Part 2   | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Alt. Ending
Genre: Angst
tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments
word count: 5.8k
a/n: here it is! (it's late, sorry. not proofread too😭) im forever grateful to you all who waited and supported the sundered series and for supporting my other stories too. i cant do much but this means so much. ily.
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If you never talk to him again, he will miss you forever.
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“Do I not deserve it?” You asked him, almost flinching at your words when you promised yourself you’d never ask anyone that. Toji sighed, taking both of your hands and bringing them to his lips. “Not this. You deserve more than this. You deserve to be genuinely happy without sacrificing anything, without feeling spent.”
Your brows furrowed, trying to contain another flood of tears threatening to overflow from your already swollen eyes. Why does it always have to be so hard when it's you? When it was Satoru who tried to move on, he did with Naomi. You wouldn’t say it was a breeze for them but you just know it was never this hard.
Naomi and Satoru stayed together for a year, being the family you couldn’t give your child. And now you, you couldn’t even make it work with Toji. Why do you always have to feel stuck? Why does he refuse to take your hand and pull you out of this void that is slowly sucking you down?
Along with these thoughts, you felt a squeeze in your hand. “Y/N?” Toji called, “Y/N, it’s gonna be alright.”  No, it’s not, you thought. The roof of your mouth tastes bitter against your tongue; so bitter that it burns. “It’s not. But it’s alright. I just don’t want you to feel burdened with this, alright?” You reached up to his face, eyes wandering.
“I’m sorry.” You felt selfish. You felt so selfish for not thinking about how this void of yours could pull him down with you instead of him pulling you up. You felt so selfish for wanting him to keep hurting just so you could feel safe. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this, I didn’t realize it would be this hard on you too.” Your throat feels tight all of a sudden.
You stepped away from him, sniffing as you wiped your tears away. You couldn’t remember what else he said, you couldn't remember how you ended up in that room alone, crying as you clutched your chest, blaming yourself for wearing out such a good man.
You couldn’t remember, or more like you chose not to carve into your memory how that day ended. The only image you can see in your head is how he cuddled you to sleep, woke you up to eat with him and the kids, and went home. You remember him saying that they could always visit. And you hated yourself for doubting him.
Now you smooth out the bed, rearranging the pillows and gaslighting yourself that you’ve been the only one sleeping on it all this time just so it wouldn't feel so unfamiliar. You changed the sheets and prayed you wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night, reaching for the man you love. 
And the fact that this wouldn’t be the first time that you would do so…
You remembered how you would wake up and break down at midnights during the first few months of your separation from Satoru, weeping as you ran to your daughter’s crib just to remind yourself to be stronger, locking your phone away to not call and embarrass yourself in front of him and his then-new girlfriend again.
You heard the sound of the video your daughter was watching as she sat on the bean bag in the corner of your room. “Mama, look it.” You heard her tiny footsteps tap the floor as she ran to you, holding the phone out. The screen flashed with Toji’s caller ID, “Thank you, baby.” You kissed her cheek as you picked her up to sit her on your lap. 
“Yeah?,” You answered, hearing a sigh from the other end. You pulled your toddler closer to you just as she started to move near the edge of the bed. You that your voice didn’t sound hoarse at all. You didn’t cry as hard as you did with Satoru, but it was painful enough that you had to pause some chores just so you could think of a solution to fix it. 
You doubted there was a fix and if there was, you felt like Toji would only be trying out of pity for you.
You’re tired of that. You don’t want people to feel sorry for you anymore. You feel like you’ve been nothing but pitiful every year of your life. Your dad gave up on you and your mother, your baby daddy gave up on your relationship with him and now you feel like you caused Toji to give up on you too. 
Your brows bumped together at the thoughts and you were quick to shake your head, hoping it would shed off the searing pain in your chest as well. You can't have self-pity when you have a child. You’re determined to be better for her. Your index finger found its place on your lips, listening to your ex’s voice.
“Just wanna know how you’re doing.” You wanted to laugh, not to mock him but because you don’t really know how to explain how you feel to him. You decided to answer it from the surface, “I am okay, surprisingly.” You sniffed, hearing a sigh from the other end of the line and a tiny laugh from Megumi, probably watching something on his iPad. 
You would say it’s too early for him to call you, but this whole breakup isn’t even like the normal ones. You broke up for each other's well-being. Not because you fought, not because one of you cheated, not because you just started to hate each other. You broke up wanting only the best for each other.
“I know this is for the best.” You wanted to help Toji feel better about this decision. You could tell that there was guilt on his part. He probably feels like what he did was just an inch kinder than Satoru’s way of leaving you. That would eat him inside. The last thing Toji wants to do is shatter all your progress.
“I don’t feel the best about it.” There was no hint of amusement in his chuckle, no trace of smile in his words. You don’t even know if he meant to say he feels bad for doing this to you. You don’t want to assume that he’s not doing better away from you because you’re pretty sure he’s more relaxed now that he doesn’t have to worry about his girlfriend thinking of someone even when she’s with him. 
“Please, don’t dwell on it. I, uh, I have thought things through and it’s… it’s just getting kind of lighter for me.” You blinked away each tear that came with the lies that are flowing out of your tongue. It’s not getting any lighter. If anything, the crushing weight is still continuously pressing down on you and you know any time soon, you might break down in this phone call.
“I don’t know if I can trust your words…” Aside from the fact that it has only been a day, Toji thought back on your last conversation before you broke up. He’s well-aware of your tendencies to push all of your feelings aside  because you blame yourself for the fall of your relationship. You would probably shoulder all of this again, like you did with your separation from Satoru.
Toji isn’t all clean here but he doesn’t know how to get that to you. You can be very stubborn when it comes to these things especially when it concerns your past. It’s an unhealed part of you and Toji can’t help but feel like your previous arguments, his words to 
you and how he made you feel contributed to it rather than alleviate it.
“Toji, this isn't good for me. For us,” You’re not talking about your relationship with him but it’s about him contacting you. “I know that we’re still good, we broke up to save each other,” you laughed half-heartedly, “Our kids are friends, of course, we can’t just throw that away, but for now…” You took a deep breath.
“For now, let’s give each other space. I’m not mad at you, I could never hate you but, Toji, this isn’t helping me at all.” The crack in your voice sent a blow to Toji’s heart, “I…I want to be able to talk to you, see you and visit Megumi with Yui without feeling the guilt of letting something so good slip away so, please...” You took a deep, painful breath.
“Let’s just give each other some space. Just until I have picked myself up again.” You covered your mouth, desperate to turn away from your child who’s been starting to glance at you. Toji’s silence felt like it could squeeze you, like a soundless bubble getting smaller and smaller around you. 
“I’m sorry. I…I shouldn’t have called.” Of course, you’re not fine, Is he out of his mind? The voices in Toji’s head knocked sense into him as he realized what he did. How could he be so insensitive? Is it because he knows of his crimes, the source of his guilt and how he didn’t think it would affect him as much as it does now?
Now, even this breakup feels selfish. How could he just decide to leave when you’ve been trying so hard? He’s not different from your baby daddy—running away when they couldn’t handle the pressure, leaving you to clean up after the mess. Toji closed his eyes tight, clearing his head, begging himself to say the right words and make the correct decisions.
“I—I’m still here for you always, alright? Take care, Y/N. Kiss Yui good night for me.” He spoke slowly, fighting the loss in the empty space he’s staring at, absorbing your soft hums and apology as he continued, “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry, baby. It took every fiber in his baby not to say it like that. For your sake. And for him. 
If you never talk to him again, he will miss you forever.
You put the phone down, feeling your daughter’s head on your chest as she stared up at you. Your mother once said that children do not understand these things yet but they feel their parents’ pain when it happens. And just like that, it’s almost as if your baby girl can read you. Her eyes says that she wants to help but doesn’t know how because she doesn’t eve understand it.
“Mama sad?” Her voice was small, it’s amazing that even at her age she knows how to try and soothe you. She knows that this is not the time to be playful without even knowing the situation. All she knows is that her mother is sad and crying. “No, mama’s just tired.” You smiled at her and for the first time she seems hesitant to reciprocate it.
“Mama sleep.” She got suddenly, bouncing her way to the spot next to you as she gets into a curled sleeping position. She’s a smart child. You laid down next to her, cuddling her small frame for as long as she can sit still but it wasn’t long before she was playing again, forgetting about it all. She’s still a baby after all. But this kid right here is the one who will always pull you out of the waters.
You wished that you could forget and get over this as quickly as this baby does, You wished it would all just fly out of your mind, that you could just throw up all of the pain out of your heart. You wished that you could just dust off the broken pieces of your relationship from your clothes, that you could scrub away the pain in the shower and watch it flow down the drain.
—————————-
“Look, I know Yui’s always been our priority but if you need a bit of time for yourself, you know you can leave Yui with me.” Satoru came earlier than expected. You can tell that he’s trying to stay inside the ‘boundaries’ as he struggled to find the right words to say about your breakup with Toji.
“You should take a break from work, if you think that’s what you need, I will-“ You placed a hand on his arm, stopping him. Satoru doesn’t want to seem like he’s taking advantage of the situation, that’s the last thing he wants to do. As painful as it is to admit it, he knows that you love Toji. 
“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You forced out a laugh, trying to make it better than how it really is. It’s clear to Satoru that you’re having a hard time. He could see it in your face, your eyes. Satoru remembered those times when he would do anything just to avoid looking at you and seeing how badly he broke you.
He was heartless for letting himself make you feel like that. He was stupid for letting you feel like that. 
“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You let out a laugh, retracting your hand away as you reached for the towel to wipe your daughter’s food-stained cheek. “Megumi and Yui still play together, I mean they’re besties now, right?” Yui giggled at the mention of her friend.
As much as Satoru wants to have another chance with you, he just doesn’t think he would deserve it just like that. Also, he doesn’t think he can see you like this everyday. Now he wants to talk to Toji. If it’s because of his interactions with you then Satoru himself would volunteer to give the big guy the assurance he wants. 
It would be painful for Satoru but to see you so dull makes him want to give up his fight. If he even has some. His friends, mostly Shoko, already told him that he already lost all his chances. “You’re not a cat. You don’t get nine lives in this Satoru.” She would say and Suguru would quickly add “You used to have nine lives, actually. But you’re a dead man to her now.” It was playful but depressing talk but valid but…sad.
It was everything but playful to Satoru, no matter how much his friends tried to lighten up the delivery, it still felt like playing darts with his heart. Because he knows how much truth those words hold. He would smile and shake his head. His friends are never the ones to sugarcoat shit. 
After saying goodbye to  Y/N with his baby girl, Satoru can’t help but feel curious about your breakup. He’s almost a hundred percent sure that it’s Toji’s decision because of how you are right now. He doubts that you’d be the one to break it off. You’re a fighter, he knows that. He hates that you have to deal with these cowards of men who only know how to break.
But of course, Toji’s more deserving than him. That’s the bitter truth. Toji left for your good, while Satoru…just gave up on you back then. He will regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn’t get you back. 
Get you back. He felt like a villain, hoping that you were the first to initiate the split. That would give Satoru so much hope. Thinking about why you did it (if you did), taunts him into assuming that maybe you still have something with him. But this isn’t right. No. Satoru should be better than this. Your happiness comes first. Even if it’s not with him.
Satoru swallowed the rushing mix of emotions that fogged his mind as he drives. It felt like swallowing needles, allowing them to go straight to his cracking heart. It’s almost impossible now, huh, to get you back? Even when you’re single again, it still feels impossible. Why is he even imagining it?
Shaking his head, he successfully parked his car, clapping his hands as he looked at Yui through the rearview mirror. “Let’s go now, my heart~” He sing-songed and the toddler eagerly reached up to him. “Tomorrow we go back to Mama, alright? She’s kinda sad, isn’t she? We gotta rescue that!” Yui cheered with him, despite not understanding what her father was saying.
Satoru knows that he can’t meddle with your relationship with Toji, no matter how much it bothers him. The least he can do is try to brighten your mood. Without any ulterior motives, of course. This is a vulnerable time for you. He doesn’t think he can stomach trying to get in through those cracks in your heart because of your failed relationship. 
It’s not the right thing to do and that’s not what a good person who truly cares would do. He can only support you, but he doesn’t plan on taking advantage of this situation. 
—-------------------------------------------------
3 months later
It’s a blessing to be a mother. It’s hard too. Especially, when your daughter won’t allow you to have a break from your ex for more than three months. “Mama!” She screamed at the top of her lungs for the hundredth time that morning. “I just took your bag, let’s go.” You wished you could’ve taken a picture of her, standing as she held the door of her room open.
“You’re so big now, baby.” Her birthday’s in a few months and you feel like crying because it felt like you just gave birth to her yesterday and now she’s turning three. Time is a thief. You wonder if so much has changed with Toji’s life too. You wouldn’t be shocked if he’s got a new girlfriend. After all, Satoru only took a few weeks to find someone new when you broke up.
That fucking stings. You told yourself and if you weren’t holding your daughter’s hand and her bag you would physically clutch your chest. The thought of being so replaceable has been a constant in your mind since Satoru and Naomi. 
And if it happens with Toji again, you’d probably just close the table for love.  You drove to the park, a meeting place you chose for the kids. You don’t want to be in Toji’s house. You don’t think you can handle that yet. 
You wondered if you’d be greeted by some new lady with him, like how Satoru received you with Naomi’s head on his chest. What if they play with the kids instead and leave you out of place during the whole play date? Or what if they leave you to watch the kids while they get some snacks, taking their time to play couple while you wait?
What if— A knock on your window broke off your train of thoughts as you took in your surroundings. That’s right. You’ve been driving and now you’re at the part. And now Toji’s shading his eyes, his hand arched over his brows as he tried to see through your windows. “Gumi!” Yui squealed, kicking in her car seat as Megumi waved from the outside. 
Toji was holding him in one hand as his bag hang loosely on Toji’s shoulder. You rolled the windows down, gulping your anxiety as you thanked the heavens that none of the scenarios in your head came true. 
“You spaced out.” He chuckled a bit awkwardly as he smiled at you. There’s something new about him. Did he really glow up after leaving you? You almost frowned but you gave him a laugh, trying to think of an excuse as to why you’re sitting absentmindedly in your car a few minutes before meeting with your ex and his child.
“I was trying to remember if I locked our door.” You laughed, gathering your things as you stepped out. “Can I hold that for you?” Toji offered as you opened Yui’s door. You thanked him softly, trying your best to seem relaxed. You don’t know if you should be glad or worried that he’s being so cool.
It could be because he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or because he doesn’t really give two shits about your relationship with him that he doesn’t even feel uneasy meeting for the first time after you broke up. 
Or maybe because he’s already moved on to someone else, he just didn’t bring her with him because he’s a respectful man. You swore you heard a voice say it and it almost convinced you that it’s your brain that wants you dead. “Yui.” Megumi’s neck stretched as he looked over your shoulder for his best friend.
“Chill, man. Your long lost bestie will be free in a minute.” He still doesn’t fail to make you laugh. You put Yui down and watched the two kids adorably and messily hug. Now you’re glad that you taught them the importance of hugs. 
“It’s cute that they’re still comfortable with each other.” You commented, pulling at your clothes as you tried to distract yourself from checking your ex out. You’re thinking hard to figure out what changed with his look. Aside from his forehead showing as the wind played with his dark hair, 
“Let’s sit there, near the seesaw. They love that.” The kids were talking in a language only they understand, pointing at stuff before laughing as if it was the funniest thing they saw while to you, it looked like nothing. You would give everything to be a kid again. Just carefree and happy. But seeing your daughter makes you realize you wouldn’t have this any other way.
“How have you been?” He started as you sat down, hugging yourself as you looked ahead at the children. To be honest, you don’t know how to answer that. Do you tell him first that you miss him? Or do you tell him first that you got a clearer understanding of the holes in your relationship with him?
“I won’t deny that I missed you.” He chuckled leaning back. “But I did some reflecting.” He paused, glancing over to you, eyes traveling across your face. “A lot of reflecting actually.” He nodded, licking his lips. Right. That’s right, you thought, referring to his looks. Aside from his hair being longer, he looked…softer. You blinked away your thoughts, clearing your vision.
“I…I’m okay.” You don’t know how to tell him it could’ve been better if he was still with you. You wondered if your relationship problems would’ve been gone now if you didn’t break up. Would it have been better by now if you kept going? “I missed you, of course. But,” You laughed airily, “I’m getting better.”
You didn’t let your breakup with Toji affect you as a mother to Yui. But if you’re talking about yourself. You’re still trying. You have lived without Toji, of course, you can still keep going now. But your split felt like a crash from cloud nine. You’ve been so soaked with your happiness with him that when he left it felt like you were slowly getting drained and dry.
He walked you into a field of roses and when you returned to your old garden you realized how dull it was. Yui was your sunshine in those days under the dark clouds. She was a sunlight that went out of its way to bring a smile on your face. “It’ll get better.” You sighed, glancing at Toji and seeing the solemn look on his face. Does he feel sorry for you? Does he feel guilty for leaving so abruptly as your baby daddy did? Does he feel—
“It doesn’t feel any better for me at all.” Toji’s not one to hide the reality of his feelings from people he feels comfortable with. It melts your heart when you think about how he loosens up with you. It makes you feel special. Though, not special enough to fight for.
“It will. Soon.” You looked down. You know that it wasn’t his intention to make you feel as if you’re making him feel guilty for choosing his peace. But it still feels like it and you don’t know what to say anymore. I’m sorry? I’m sorry that you feel sorry for me? He nodded, smiling so softly. Charming, you thought. You feel sad for the people who don't get to see this. Yes, his smirk can make one feel things but this smile…
The day went by fast, Toji invited you to dinner since a restaurant was nearby but you politely declined. It’s not that you want to. It’s just that you have to. One thing that you learned from your heartbreak with Satoru is that the more that you see them, the deeper the shards cut. 
“My mom’s coming over for dinner. Maybe next time.” Your genuine smile contradicted the lie flowing out of your lips. It was so tempting when he looked like this, but you have to stand your ground. Next time. The two words reverberated inside Toji’s head and that was enough to push aside the disappointment he felt when you declined. 
“That’s alright. There’s always a next time.” It sounded as if he was reassuring himself, emphasizing that you’re fine with meeting him and Megumi again next time. This is enough for now. After all, he still has to reflect on a couple of things regarding your breakup. But everything always seems to be pointing him back to you. 
—————————
“Just call me when you’re ready to go, and I’ll pick you up.” Satoru’s words before he left you and Yui earlier started to get twisted inside Toji’s head. Now that Toji has let you go, Satoru’s just waiting for your go signal so he can pick you up again. He swallowed dryly, faking a smile when you looked back at him, laughing at whatever the kids did that he didn’t see.
Time flew by fast but that image of you leaning towards Satoru so that he could give his daughter a kiss as he said that to you has been stuck in Toji’s head all day. The kids were drinking juice with small towels around their shoulders. “I can, uh, I can just drive you home, you know? I mean, so that Satoru wouldn’t have to drive all the way here again.” He suggested, wiping off some of the water droplets in his son’s body.
“It’s alright, he’s already on his way anyway and he owes Yui a kitty cake that they didn’t get to buy last time.” You smiled at him, before asking to leave to give Yui a quick warm shower. Toji would’ve wanted to chat a bit more with you. Just spend more time with you. He couldn’t ask for so much of it now. It felt like it would be too much of an imposition for him to do so. 
After a couple of minutes, the doorbell rang and he placed Megumi on one of the rugs, reminding him to stay there so he won’t slip. He sighed, running to his gate, knowing that it would be Satoru and of course, since you’re still getting Yui ready, the polite thing to do is to let him sit and maybe, entertain your baby daddy a bit.
“Oh, come on in. She’s just getting Yui ready.” His voice was almost monotonous, the nod of his head was another way to be a bit more ‘friendly’ to the guy. “You a fan of iced tea?” Toji cleared his throat with Satoru following behind him. Megumi was still on the rug, staring off into space. Toji can’t help but laugh when Satoru waved a hand at his face.
“Yui Dad.” He looked up, waving his small hand despite the blank look on his face. “He really looks like you.” Satoru commented, “Except his hair.” Toji placed a pitcher on the counter, pouring a glass for the man, something he didn’t think he would ever do. “I’m glad you and Y/N are doing better,” Toji spoke after a couple of minutes of silence. 
“Yeah,” Satoru nodded, holding Megumi’s hand as he tried to walk towards Toji. “We’re getting more used to this co-parenting thing. Figured out it was healthier for all of us when we’re not constantly arguing about something.” Toji doesn’t know if it’s right to say it but it already came out of his mouth before he realized it.
“The both of you single made it better, eh?” He didn’t mean it to start something with Satoru again, it’s just that that is the first thing that popped up in his head when he heard him. “Yes and No.” Satoru answered before he could even back it up with something lighthearted. “Me being single, yes. Because Naomi was basically a wedge, one cause of the problems that used to arise between us. And no, because no problem arises directly from you regarding those arguments.” He shrugged, taking a sip before continuing. 
“Actually, I don’t even know why you broke up with her, if I’m going to be frank I trusted you with my family already, why did you even left her?” He’s saying a lot more now than before. Definitely a healthier man. And he seems like he’s back to his real self now. Toji might even assume he’s drunk if only you didn’t mention that he doesn’t handle liquor well.
“I’m not trying to guilt-trip you, alright? I want you to love her because you truly love her, but come on, man, there’s no threat.” Yui definitely takes after her father. Very talkative, Toji thought. Inhaling, he gathered his thoughts and which aspect of what Satoru has said he should focus on, “I don’t know.” Was his short answer. 
“I mean… I was worried. I don’t know if she’s really over you. I don’t want her to keep hurting by my side.” It was quiet. Satoru didn’t speak, allowing Toji to continue. “Plus, I fear that she will forever feel like she just comes second to my wife. To be honest, I feel that with her too. With you being her first.” Toji felt surprised at his honesty. He just hopes that you won’t overhear this.
“You’re the present. I’m her past.” It felt bitter for Satoru to say, “I’m starting to accept that now. I’m just contented that I can be with my daughter and that I take care of them even from the sidelines.” 
But Satoru would forever wish it didn't have to be like that. 
“I’m not playing matchmaker. I just want what’s best for her. Even if it’s not me, Toji.” He stood up, sighing as he heard footsteps coming closer. You came in struggling to carry a barefoot, laughing little girl, a towel and her bag. “Dada!” She screamed with a smile as she tries to get away from you. “You’ll slip!” You warned her and Satoru quickly went closer to take her in his arms. 
Toji sat there for a minute more, processing the man’s words. The best for you. If he’s going to ask Satoru about it, he’d say that if he has to pick someone for Y/N, Toji will be a top candidate. Aside from the fact that he’s a good man who truly cares for her, he also easily understands your situation because he has a child of his own too.
It’s safe to say that right now, you’re the only man that Satoru feels is safe to leave his daughter and baby momma with. His past mistakes and horrible decisions put him in this place and the least that he could do to make it all up to you is support you and whatever makes you happy as long as it’s good for you and his child.
“We’ll be going now, thank you, Toji.” Only then has Toji realize that he’s been staring at the three of you now and his baby boy who’s trying to hug Yui as her father puts on her shoes. “Uh, yeah. Let me walk you guys out.” He licked his lips, blinking fast as he tried to snap himself back to reality. “Come on, Megs. After this, you take a bath, alright?” He picked him up, wrapping a towel around his body.
“Come again. Please.” Satoru laughed as the little boy waved, probably worried that it would take months for his little friend to come over again. “She’ll be back soon, bro. Chill.” That’s wild, Toji thought, He just called my son ‘bro’. Before you could even get on the other side of the car, Toji has made up his mind. “Uhm, Y/N.” You looked up at him, for some reason, eyes shining with what seemed to be…hope.
“Can we come over sometime?” Megumi’s little cheer made your smile wider, nodding at them, “Of course..” You felt like a teen, worried that you answered too quickly, “Anything for that ‘gumi smile.” You played it off cool but kept your eyes on Toji the whole time. 
You didn’t hear anything about what he and Satoru talked about. But it was nice to know that they’re starting to get along. Inside, Satoru was fixing his daughter’s things, somehow glad that he couldn’t hear whatever the of two of you were talking about because no matter how happy he is for you, he’d always break into smaller pieces each time he saw you smile and look at Toji like that.
He knows. Because you used to look at him like that. 
Albeit, crossed with pain and longing, you used to look at him with so much love. Overflowing. And then, along with the tears he caused. It felt like acid in his stomach, threatening to spill out of his mouth whenever he thought of what you went through because of him. But now you’re happy. 
He didn’t know that love would show him that some people are worth being pulverized for.  
The car door opened just as he pretended to find something inside the glove compartment and he swallowed the pang in his chest at the glow on your face. “Gumi, babye! Gumi, babye!” His child screams behind him, waving her hands back at her playmate. “You ready to go?” He asked you and you hummed, glee evident even in the small sound. 
With that, the two of you waved at Toji and Megumi, pulling out of their driveway. You smiled at the shared nods between Toji and Satoru before speeding down the road to the bakery where Satoru usually buy Yui’s cakes. Your mind kept going back to Toji. Maybe you’re being delusional but you can’t help but feel like he had to gather the courage to ask you that very last-minute question. 
He feels like a…high school crush. 
And maybe he’s being a high school crush because a week later, he shows up at your doorstep dressed like a heartthrob with a kid in oversized sunglasses and a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
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thebearer · 1 day
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Carmen and reader love watching movies together but Carmen sneakily decided to finish a movie that they were watching the night before while the reader was out doing an errand and when she comes back, he accidently spoils her on something that happens in the movie, later on in the day, like lunchtime or something.
i'm tweaking this a little to fit my own selfish niche which is bravo lmao. picturing him watching the reunion without you? there would be blood shed.
"Did you watch the reunion yet?" Natalie's eyes lit up when they met yours across the table. She was so happy Carmen met you, but she had never been more thankful than when she found out you were a fellow Bravoholic.
"No," You shake your head. "Carm worked late the other night, and I told him I'd wait for him but he's been so busy." Your voice dropped, looking around to make sure he hadn't snuck in yet.
Sugar snorted lightly. "You're telling me." She nodded in agreement. "I told him to quit working so much, that the rest of us are capable of handling things, but you know how he is."
"How who is?" Richie turned the corner, holding a pan of rolls for family dinner.
"Carm." Sugar rolled her eyes.
"Oh, how he's a fuckin' lunatic?" Richie said loudly, looking to make sure Carmen heard him.
"Can you hurry up? This shit's burnin' me." Carmen huffed, moving around Richie to drop the tray on the table.
"See?" Richie looked at you with a grin.
"See what? What?" Carmen grumbled, looking over at you. "What's he sayin'?"
"Nothing," You shook your head gently. "We were just talking about how we didn't get to watch the reunion because you've been busy."
"Oh," Carmen nodded, his face falling into a neutrality that had you curious.
"Yeah, cousin, you can't even go watch your prissy TV show anymore, huh? What's what tell you then? That you're workin' too damn hard."
"Shut up," Carmen snapped.
"Yeah, Carmen, it's getting bad." Natalie chimed in. "You missed the best reunion they've had on that entire show-"
"-Gimme a fuckin' break." Carmen scoffed, rolling his eyes. "It was the same shit it always was. They didn't even talk about the-" Carmen stopped himself, refusing to look at you, but he could feel your glare on him. Shocked and furious, the room fell into snickering and mocking "ooh's", and for a moment, Carmen felt he was in elementary school again, when a kid would get told off by the teacher.
"Oh shit!" Richie snickered.
"You watched it without me?" You sneered, glaring at him.
"I-I, I mean, I was-I-" Carmen stammered, cheeks heating in embarrassment. How could he tell you that he meant to wait, he did, but he put it on to order produce. He was just going to watch the beginning, not the entirety, but one thing lead to the other...
"So you can't come home to watch it with me, but you can watch it in your free time?" Your lips twisted in fury. "When I told you I would wait to watch it with you, and you didn't-"
"-Alright, can we- can we not do this here?" Carmen muttered, looking around at the eyes, all amused and watching the two of you like their own Bravo show.
You let Carmen pull you into his office, ignoring the cacklings from the others when he shut the door. "I-I'm sorry." Carmen said, his hands on your arms gently. "I didn't mean to, I swear to God, I didn't mean to watch it all."
"Who'd you watch it with?" Your eyes narrowed. "Some other bitch-"
Carmen rolled his eyes, scoffing at you. "Yeah, Fak." He chided sarcastically. "No, it wasn't- I was just orderin' produce and I put it on for background noise. I didn't-I wasn't even thinking, and then I watched it all, and-and I was gonna come home early tonight so we can watch it because I felt bad about it."
You looked at him, brows still creased, still furious, but you could feel yourself relenting, giving in to him. "Fine." You grumbled. "But you're making it up to me. My feelings are hurt. I can't believe you watched it without me."
"I know, I'm sorry." Carmen nodded, his palms sweaty with guilt, he hoped you couldn't feel them. He did feel bad. "I'll make it up to you."
"You better." You glared at him lightly. "And you've gotta manage your time better. You can't be here all the time, Carmen." Your expression softened. "I miss you, and I never see you anymore."
Carmen's shoulders fell, nodding slowly, pulling you into him. "I know, I- fuck- I know. I'll do better. I've just been so fuckin' stressed."
"I know you have." You hummed, letting your arms circle around him. He held you like that for a moment, lips catching yours in a slow, soft kiss before pulling back.
"You better not spoil one single thing, Berzatto." You glared at him, pointing a finger towards him.
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maltesejjong · 2 days
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Its my first time putting a request so I'll try to sum it up!!
Could you make a bangchan x f!reader? Where yn and Chan have been trying for a child for abt 2 years they've had 3 or 4 miscarriages and after a long time, they have 2 beautiful twins!! (You don't have to do it if you don't want to!! Your health comes first 💗)
OMG ilysm for this. Thank you for being my first request, and thank you for trusting me to be your first request! Before I go any further, though, I want to touch on a few things with this one. First off: this is a very real thing that doesn’t get talked about enough . Miscarriages happen and there is no shame. If you have ever lost a baby before, please know that you are stronger than you think, and that you did nothing to deserve such a loss. Secondly: this is a major fear of mine. I want nothing more than to be a mother. I have had three moms throughout my life and I want to be able to give someone the love and protection the first two didn’t give me. I’m also the mom friend so yeah lmao. Finally, to all the moms out there, or those who would have been moms if not for this loss: thank you for all you do. You deserve more than what you have because you truly do the most unappreciated task in the world. You bring children into the world and give them life, regardless of if you lost the baby, there was still a life force that you created. That is an amazing accomplishment. I apologize ahead of time if any of that seemed insensitive but please know you are loved and appreciated. You are not alone🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
ONTO THE POST!
Warnings: mentions of miscarriages, that’s pretty much it. You’re married to Chan, afab!reader. Pure fluff! Oh, and mentions of girl dad Chan idk bout y’all but girl dad Chan needs a warning because he’s TOO DAMN MUCH ISTG HE IS A GIRL DAD
There’s a time skip bc I was lazy and wasn’t sure what to write as filler lol I’m sorry😭😭
Wc: Idek I didn’t count
Enjoy 😊
꒰ঌ(⃔ ⌯' '⌯)⃕໒꒱
You sigh and drop your head back to rest on the cabinet behind you. It had been almost two whole hours since you laid the damp stick on the counter and slid down to sit on the cool tiled floor. You had been feeling nauseous lately, but chalked it up to something you ate.
Until you realized you’re late.
By three weeks.
Three. Whole. Weeks.
You’re never late.
So, of course, you decided to take a pregnancy test.
While your husband was at work.
It’s not that you don’t want Chan to know. It’s just… after so long, after trying for this long, all the disappointment and heartache that came with each failed pregnancy, you learned to avoid the topic of kids. Specifically kids of your own. As much as you both want kids, the hardship of discovering each miscarriage broke your spirits.
So you’ve learned not to get his hopes up. Which is why you keep a secret stash of pregnancy tests. Because no matter what, you always get your hopes up when you realize what is most likely going on with your body.
You close your eyes, trying to relax your mind when your phone buzzes, bringing you out of your thoughts.
💙channie💙: hey princess. I’m on my way home
You: alright babe
💙channie💙: want anything from the store?
You: ice cream?
💙channie💙: ofc baby. I’ll see you soon love you
You: love you too. Drive safe💞
Sighing, you put your phone down, knowing you need to get this over with before he gets home. You slide your thumb over the diamond on your left hand before pushing yourself up to look at the results of the test.
“Shit,” you mutter. “I knew it.”
Four months later
You let out a sigh as the doctor spreads the cold gel across your belly, which, despite being four months pregnant, has stayed suspiciously flat. Hence why Chan never caught on.
“How’s the morning sickness?” Dr. Kim asks.
“Gone,” you say.
“Any general nausea?”
You shake your head. “Only when I sit or stand up too fast.”
He nods and hums to himself. “Any cramping? Abnormal bleeding?”
“None,” you happily reply.
His eyes flick up to yours. “Have you told your husband yet?”
You close your eyes. “No,” you whisper. “And please don’t hint to him.”
“Like I would,” the doctor scoffs.
Dr. Kim, as he is known at work, is one of your closest friends. The only time you ever call him Dr anything is when you’re in his office. Outside these walls, he’s just Seungmin to you. Your best friend since high school. He’s also the first person you tell when you’ve gotten pregnant in the past… and the first to know when you lost the baby.
“I can’t tell him, Min,” you say quietly.
“Why’s that?”
You feel your eyes start to burn. “What if I lose another one?”
Seungmin stops what he’s doing and grabs your hand. “Y/n, do you realize how long it’s been? It’s been four months. In the past, it only lasted half of that. I think it’s safe to tell him. You’re more than halfway through your pregnancy. Doesn’t he deserve to know?”
You bite your lip. “I don’t want to get his hopes up, though. It would crush him.”
“And it wouldn’t crush you?”
You blink back tears.
“Y/nnie, this is why you’re married. In sickness and in health, remember? You’re with each other through thick and thin. If this is gonna crush him, then let it crush you too. It’s okay to go through that. I understand protecting him, but have you ever considered that he wants to do the same to you, but he can’t? Let him in. Let it hurt if it ends up hurting. But you’ll heal together.”
“Minnie… as a professional… do you…?”
He understands your unfinished question. “Yes, love,” he says, eyes softening. “I think it’ll make it. So tell him.”
You take a deep breath and nod. “I will.”
*************
You feel something tickle your shoulder and sleepily roll away from it. But it returns, traveling up to your neck.
“Mmm,” you groan tiredly.
“Morning, beautiful,” Chan whispers against your skin.
You roll over to face him. “Morning,” you reply, feeling a loopy grin stretch across your face. You sigh contentedly when his hand slides up your waist and rests there, holding you close. You peek up at him, recognizing the glimmer in his eyes. “What?”
His dimples appear. “Nothing,” he instantly replies. “You’re just so pretty.”
You squint at him. “Is that all?”
“What? I can’t call you pretty?”
“Christopher Chan, I know that look in your eyes. Out with it.”
He props himself up on one elbow, half hovering over you. “I was thinking…”
“Oh boy, that’s never good,” you tease, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his soft black hair.
He closes his eyes in bliss for a moment, than takes a deep breath. “What do you think about adopting?”
You go still. “What?”
“Adoption. I don’t know I just think maybe it’s time to add another member to the family?”
You bite your lip. “But… baby. We already have another addition to the family.”
He looks at you, obviously confused off his ass. “We do?”
You nod, steeling yourself. “Well… it might take a bit but… yeah we do…”
“Love, what are you talking about? It’s not a very long process. Did you pick one out without telling me?”
You feel your eyes widen as you realize he’s not talking about the same thing you are. “Channie, what are you on about?”
“I asked you first.”
You shake your head. “Not until you spill.”
“A dog, babe. What else?”
“A… a dog?” You ask in exasperation. “I thought you were talking about a child, Christopher.”
“No…?” You watch his eyebrows join together in thought. “Wait. Back up. We already have another addition? What is that supposed to mean?”
Shit. “Umm…” you start to consider saying you actually did pick out a dog already. “Nothing.”
“No no no no no. Nah-uh. Y/n. What did you mean?”
You shake your head, refusing to answer.
“Fine then.” His hands meet your shoulders and he pushes you into your back, hovering over you. “You don’t wanna talk? Fine. Then I’m not getting up.” And he plops down on top of you, dead weight.
Of course, it hurts. Hurts even more considering you have an extra little someone residing in you. “Shut,” you yelp. “Chan get off.”
There’s something in your tone that makes him shoot up. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
You shake your head. “Not… not me…”
“Then who…” as his voice trails off, so do his eyes, until they land on your stomach. “Fuck. Wait. No.” He looks up at you. “No. Baby. What?”
You bite your lip and nod. “Yes.”
“Shit. I…” he places a hand on your stomach. “I— I could’ve hurt you,” he whispers, staring down at your tummy.
“Baby, look at me. Please?” He does and you cup his face in your hands. “It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s alright.”
He bites his lip. “Are… are you sure?”
You nod.
“How long?”
“Four… four months,” you whisper.
He blinks. Five times. “What?”
You nod. “I had an appointment with Minnie and he said everything looks fine. He said that I just have a late developing baby bump. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just didn’t want us to get our hopes up… But Min said that since it’s been so long and I’m already more than halfway there…”
Chan’s eyes light up. “There’s a chance?”
“A very high one. You aren’t mad?”
“Mad?”
“That I didn’t tell you sooner.”
He shakes his head. “Baby. No. I’m not mad love. I understand your hesitation to tell me. Truly.”
You blink. “Why are you so calm right now?” You bury your face in his arm, which is still planted next to your head. “I feel like I’m freaking out and I want to cry and… God I don’t even know.”
He presses a kiss to your hair. “Because I know freaking out won’t help you and staying calm is the best way to process this.”
You sigh. “Why are you so perfect?”
“Just part of the charm. Besides, I have two princesses to take care of; I can’t let myself be anything less than that.”
You turn to face him. “Two?” You ask, raising your eyebrow.
He smiled sheepishly. “I feel like it’s gonna be a girl.”
You hmmm in thought. “What if it’s a boy?”
“Then I’ll still be nothing less than perfect. I’m just saying I think it’ll be a girl.”
“I think you just want to be a girl dad,” you tease lovingly.
He blushes slightly. “Maybe.” He leans forward and nuzzles your neck. “I think id be a great girl dad.”
You kiss the side of his head. “I think you’d be a great anything dad.”
“We got this,” he whispers against your neck. “We always do.”
You wrap your arms around him. “You still want to adopt?”
He chuckles. “Babe, you just told me we’re having a baby, and now you want to add a puppy in the mix?”
You shrug. “Why not? We’re growing our family, right?”
He nods against you.
“So then let’s grow it.”
@linoalwaysknows Tysm again for submitting the request
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renranram · 3 days
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Hi darlll super love your stories!!!!! huhu even though its so short it's enough to keep me fed for a whole week HAHAHAHA.
That aside I kinda have another suggestion do take your time! Always take breaks, you don't have to write as soon as you see this🫶 (just tryna keep the schlatt community alive/j)
Anyways what about schlatt with either a preggy or reader with a newborn baby (like they just gave birth orrr it's a nephew? cause SCHLATT HANDLING KIDS IN HIS INTERN VID WAS SO SWEET AJSHSH) or maybeee baby accidentally shows themselves on screen with jambo and burnt soup following them (sorry if it's so long LMAO)
Ps. Holding rammy or something eehehehehe... Also genuinely don't know if I skipped your rules etc but yeah I hope this is comfortable for u to write 🫶
Dad Schlatt
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sfw
new dad schlatt trying to take care of your daughter!
( a/n; COME BACK OF THE YEAR LET'S GOOO 🗣️🗣️🗣️ ill also post more later 👍🏻 )
jay sighs, watching you two, his treasure, fall asleep in bed, you facing your toddler, your baby girl, he looked at you with admiring eyes, he can't help but catch himself smiling
he can't believe your daughter will be 3 in a few weeks, he still remembers everything, “ jay- oh my god.. im so sorry for interrupting the r-recording… but i think.. i think she's coming out “ you burst into his room, recording an episode of chuckle sandwich, deep in pain as you hold tightly on your stomach
“ holy shit “ schlatt immediately rushes to you, not minding the recording anymore, “ my water broke “ you mumble at him as he caresses your cheek, “ okay, we'll be okay, let's go to the car “ he tries to reassure you, panicking himself, gently lifting you up, bridal style as he carefully rushes downstairs
during the ride to the hospital schlatt kept his hand with yours, holding you tightly as you tried to calm yourself, moaning in pain, “ im so sorry toots, it'll be okay, just take a deep breath, yeah? “ his thumb caressing your knuckles, stealing a peck
after you arrive the man patiently waited outside of the operation room, waiting for you to be okay and your little angel to be born, clenching his hands as he takes deep breaths, pacing back in forth, his anxiety rising up
and after hours of waiting schlatt immediately rushes in when he hears you've been admitted to a room, “ toots? toots? how are you? you alright? “ he approaches you, caressing your hair, you chuckling softly, “ im fine jay “ your hands intertwine, as you peck his knuckle
“ i wish you could've seen her… she's so pretty “ you whisper, a bit weak due to birthing just a few minutes ago, schlatt couldn't help but sigh in relief, “ yeah?, im guessing she took her mother's genes “ he smiles at you, endearingly, jay softly pecking your cheek
you could only giggle, as the nurse enters your room, “ how are you feeling darling? “ she gently asks, checking your vitals, before facing jay, “ you can watch your pretty princess on the nursery now “
“ baby, why don't you see her? “ you suggest, smiling softly, “ but toots, what about you? “ schlatt asks, wary to leave you even for just a minute, “ awh don't worry sweetie, i’ll look after her “ the nurse, with the nametag of sarah, smiles at him reassuringly
“ now shh go “ you gently pat his butt as he steals a quick forehead peck, “ alright… be careful yeah? “ he hums slowly leaving the room
as he walked towards the nursery, a small smile came to his face, seeing the newborn children inside, finding children, adorable, his eyes tries to look for your daughter, ‘ loreine schlatt ‘, his eyes sparkle in affection, seeing your baby laying in the crib, a pink bonnet on her hair, with a matching pink blanket
“ jesus fuck… im a dad now “ schlatt breathes out, leaning closer to the glass window, “ my pretty little girl “ he whispers staring at his daughter through the glass, his chest getting warmer every second
after a week, you're finally released from the hospital, and god, did anyone warn you how stressful it is to be parents?
schlatt decided to take a break from youtube, to finally focus on you two, he was amazing at it, managing to look out for his healing wife and his… crybaby of a daughter
as the two of you cuddle, schlatt hums, finding rest for a bit, watching your chest rise and fall, as you snore quietly, he chuckles softly, fixing your hair with his featherlight touch hoping not to wake you up
and that's was his rest, as loreine, yells and sobs, the man sighs, tiredly sitting up as he glances at his alarm, 3:45 am, he groans softly before approaching your daughter's room, already having a miniature fridge on her room to avoid rushing downstairs to make milk
“ you like interrupting daddy’s rest, no? “ jay baby talks your daughter as she wails, her tiny chubby hands wavering around as he gently lifts her up, cradling her, “ you got your mother's mouth, loud “ he jokes, gently grabbing her milk, guiding it to her mouth
humming a song as he moves back and forth slowly, hoping to calm her down, “ it's 3 in the morning and my tiny lady is bothering mee “ he said in a sing song way, gently caressing her cheek with his finger, “ i can't believe i made you “ he whispers, smiling
his baby talking slowly calms your daughter down, sucking the shit out of her milk as she cooes
“ i can't believe, one day, you'll grow up and have a boyfriend, then you're gonna leave daddy “ he playfully scolds your daughter, before noticing burnt soup and jambo entering the room, meowing, “ you guys are awake too? “ he asks, chuckling, “ she's a pretty loud sibling isn't she? “ he jokes
noticing loreine finally gone back to sleep, he gently puts her back down on the crib, switching the milk for a pacifier, as soup and jambo look at your daughter, as if guarding her, “ you two gonna be her guards now? “ he kneels down, gently petting jambo and soup, “ then you better take care of her alright? she's grow up and take care of you two too “ he smiles
before standing up, stretching, eyeing up a rammie plushie of his, the first of it's kind, before gently setting it next to his daughter, smiling as he watches loreine immediately hugs it
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bingbongsupremacy · 2 days
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Pt. 3
Pairing: Father! Eddie Munson x reader
Warnings: I've never been on tour so the set up with how it's planned is probably wrong.
Series Summary: Years ago you and Eddie used to be friends. After you graduated, you two fell out of contact. After years of not speaking to each other, Eddie offers you a job you can't resist; be a nanny for his little girl.
Part Summary: Being a nanny for the child of a famous man is a lot harder then you expected. Will you be able to handle it?
*Not Proof Read*
Tag List: @maskofmirrors @saucypeanuttt @hugdealer
Pt.1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3
******
This is it. We're going to fly.
I look out of the small airplane window beside me. We're so high up.
The sky is bright blue with minimal clouds. That helps relieve some of my anxiety. At least we don't have to worry about a tropical storm or something.
We're still so high up though. If someone were to fall off the plane, even when it was touching the ground, it definitely wouldn't be pretty.
In a few minutes we're going to be thousands of feet in the air. That's terrifying.
" You alright? " Eddie's voice breaks through my thoughts. He glances up at me from a random rock magazine in his hands.
I nod stiffly, pulling my gaze from the window. I take a small breath to help myself calm down. " Yeah, I've just never been on a plane before. I guess I'm a little nervous. " I admit while beginning to play with my fingers. " Flying over the ocean is freaking me out a bit. "
Eddie sets his magazine on his lap and turns his full attention to me. " It's going to be alright. I've done this a million times. Nothing's happened then and nothing will happen now. Just try to distract yourself. " He reassures me. " Here. " He pulls out another magazine, this one also about metal music news. " It's band stuff so I hope you don't mind, but it might help to take your mind off of everything. Plus there's a pretty fire crossword puzzle in the back. " He says with a grin, trying to help me feel better.
I smile at him. " Thanks, Ed. "
Eddie's grin widens at the use of his nickname. " Why of course, m' lady. " He exaggerates a playful bow in his seat.
I roll my eyes. " You're a clown. "
" Actually, I prefer the term Jester. " Eddie laughs at my reaction. He glances to the chair next to him where Rose is curled up against the arm rest. The look of pure adoration in Eddie's eyes sends a flutter of happiness through my body.
He loves her so much. He's matured a lot since High school. I never would've pictured him to be this responsible. It's amazing what having a child can do to a person. He just wants the best for her.
" She's a great kid. " I compliment.
Eddie nods in agreement. " I'm very lucky. She's put up with a lot, especially with the tour and everything. "
I wonder where her mom is? I haven't heard Eddie mention anything about her and Rose never calls her.
" If you don't mind me asking, " I begin cautiously. " where's her mother? "
6 months seems very long for a kid to be apart from their parent, especially when they're as young as Rose.
A flicker of anger crosses Eddie's expression.
Worried I offended him, I try to fix it. " You don't have to tell me. Sorry, that was very personal, I shouldn't have asked. "
Eddie shakes his head. He gently pulls the blanket around Rose's small shoulder. " No, you didn't do anything wrong. " He sighs. " It's...it's a long story. "
Overhead the pilot announces that we will be taking off. My hands clamp onto my arm rests as we suddenly begin to move. I refuse to look out of the windows, focusing my attention on our conversation. " Well, lucky for you, I don't think I'll be going anywhere anytime soon. " I nod towards the window. Out of the corner of my eye I can see the ground rush by. We're going to fucking fast.
When we pick up from the ground my stomach drops. A weird unsettled feeling courses through my body. I try to ignore it.
It's okay. It's just a plane.
Yeah a plane thousands of feet in the fucking air.
Eddie seems to pick up on my distress. He leans forward in his seat, as well as forward as the seat belt will allow him to go, and he pats my knee. " It's gonna be alright, Y/N. " He glances over at Rose who's still sleeping and very much unbothered by what's going on around her. " Her mom is a model I met at a party a few years ago. We dated for a bit and then we found out she was pregnant. " Eddie sighs. " She wasn't that interested in being a mom, her career was just taking off. We tried to stay together at least until Rose was born but she wasn't happy. We decided it was best if we broke up. She isn't around much. She's still out there 'finding' herself. She's supposed to come see one of the shows when we get back into the States. She wants to see Rose. We'll see how that goes. She doesn't even bother with child support so I wouldn't be surprised if it's too difficult for her to make it out to see Rose. " He doesn't sound like he carries much belief in the woman.
" I'm so sorry. " I send him a sympathetic look. " That's very rough. "
Eddie shakes his head. " It's alright. I've got Rose and Rose's got me. She doesn't need anyone else. " He tenderly brushes a strand of hair out of the young girl's eyes. " Besides, now she's got an awesome nanny who will be there for here when I can't. " He sends me a smile.
" Of course. "
I've only been around the little girl for a little while but I'm starting to grow more and more protective over her.
Eddie and I continue to talk and eventually, my fears of flying begin to subside and I can finally relax.
It's nice catching up with Eddie. It's been so long since we've seen each other. I forgot how easy he is to be around. In many ways he's changed but in so many others he's exactly the same. He's kind and funny. He cares about what I have to say.
Things my ex struggled with at times.
I don't even realize when I begin to fall asleep. The peaceful atmosphere along with Eddie's soft voice lull me into a hazy state.
" Y/N? " Eddie's voice feels distant and quiet.
I don't respond, my lips feeling too heavy to move. I manage to muster up enough strength to crack my eyes open just enough to see through my lashes.
" Can I get a blanket please? " Eddie asks a nearby flight attendant. She quickly returns with a blanket which he opens up.
I hear the faint click of his seat belt as he takes it off. He shuffles around for a moment before leaning towards me.
My eyes, too heavy for me to keep open, close completely. I feel Eddie's gentle hands tuck the soft blanket around my shoulders. His touch is light as if he's scared of waking me up.
" Sleep well, Y/N. I'm so glad I ran into you. " His voice is so quiet I almost miss his words.
Too exhausted to think over his words, I let my mind slip into darkness, the feeling of safety and comfort completely surrounding me.
I missed Eddie.
*****
" How the fuck did they find out we were going to be here? " Eddie's slightly panicked voice.
My eyes widen at the sight in front of us. Dozens-no hundreds- of people are gathered around the entrance of the hotel we're supposed to be staying. Some are carrying large cameras with blinding flashes that go off as they snap pictures of the car. Others are loudly screaming and carrying signs. Everyone is loud and their eyes are desperate for a chance to see or be noticed by one of the boys.
" Someone must've leaked where you're staying. " Eddie's body guard, Tony, sighs. " Don't worry Ed, we'll get you guys in there safely. " He leans over to say something to the driver.
Eddie turns to me. " I forgot to pack sun glasses for you guys so this is what we're going to do. I'm going to get out and cover you two with my jacket. Keep her face hidden. Try not to look into the flash, that shit can blind you. " He pulls a pair of sunglasses out of his backpack and slips them on. " Trust me, it's not fun stumbling around while not being able to see. Don't worry about the bags. I'll send someone back to grab everything. "
I take Rose out of her car seat and pull her hood up. Eddie waits for me to get ready before he finally opens the door.
Noise floods into the car and the light is so much brighter than what the tinted windows let through.
I'm terrified. The crowd looks uncontrollable and hungry for the attention of Eddie.
The hotel's security struggles to keep a clear path for us to walk through. They firmly tell the crowd to back up but their voices only end up blending with the chaos of the screaming fans and inquisitive paparazzi's.
Eddie keeps true to his word. As soon as he's out of the car he turns his back to the crowd and holds his jacket out.
I hurry towards him, terrified of being in this mess longer than we have to be.
One of Eddie's arms snakes around my shoulders to block out the flashing lights. I tuck into his side, pulling Rose closer.
I keep my head down to watch my feet and keep an eye on Rose who's now restlessly twisting in my arms. The noise and lights are too overwhelming for her, she looks like she's about to burst into tears.
" Daddy! " She squeaks while trying to reach for the man. I struggle to keep a good grasp on her.
" It's okay, Rosie. It's okay. " His voice is calm, but I can tell he's nervous. His body is tense against mine and he's basically holding onto my shoulder for his life.
" Eddie! Who's with you right now? It this a new partner? " Someone shouts from around us.
" Is Rose there? How old is she now? "
" What do you have to say about the band that allegedly copied one of your songs? "
" Show us who you're with! "
Questions dart through the air causing an overwhelming feeling to flood me. There's so much going on.
" Back up! Back up! " Tony demands ahead of us.
" Please give us some space. We're just trying to get into the hotel. " Eddie's voice is forcibly polite.
It'll be over soon. We're almost there, right?
Damn it this walk feels like it's taken an eternity. The entrance really didn't seem this far away from the car.
Out of the corner of my eye I spot of hand reach under the jacket. It roughly yanks me back, causing me to slam further into Eddie. I let out a small gasp in surprise, my eyes widening.
Eddie firmly holds me down so I don't fall backwards, both of his arms grabbing onto me. " What the fuck! " He exclaims, pulling me further towards him and away from the person who grabbed me.
The jacket slips down slightly and I'm able to peek out over the top.
Rose is now full on sobbing, terrified of the sudden rough movements. Her small hands cling onto my shirt, looking for any form of comfort. The top of her head slightly peers out from between Eddie and I revealing one of her tear filled eyes.
I pull one of my hands over her face, trying to bounce her slightly.
I don't know what the fuck to do? How am I supposed to comfort a child when I don't even feel safe myself.
Eddie's livid. He sends a rough look towards the paparazzi who yanked me. " What the fuck is your problem? Don't touch them! Back the fuck off, you entitled piece of shit. We're fucking people! My daughter's right here! You could've hurt them both. " His grip around me is tight and protective.
The man's eyes widen in surprise. He's momentarily paused from taking pictures. " Hey man, I didn't mean anything buy it. I was just trying to get your attention. "
" Well you fucking got it. " Eddie snaps.
I haven't seen him this mad since failed Mr. Ryan's chem class for the 3rd time.
" Eddie please, let's get inside. " I beg the man.
Eddie's eyes shift towards us. His anger seems to morph into slight concern at the sight of our state. " Yeah, I'm sorry. Let's go. "
He sends one last nasty look towards the man who pulled me before we continue towards the hotel.
Eddie was right. These lights are blinding. If Eddie wasn't holding my shoulder's I'd definitely fall.
We finally make inside and I let out a breath of relief.
The doors close behind us and immediately security guards stand in front of them to block the entry of the nosy mob.
Eddie lets go of me and immediately reaches for his daughter. He shields her from the windows by blocking everyone's view with his back. " Oh, baby. " He mumbles with guilt. " I'm so sorry. Daddy's sorry. " He gently rubs circles into her small shaking back.
We make our way further in to the hotel and finally out of the view of the mob outside.
The crying seems to have worn out Rose because by the time we reach the front desk she's passed out. Not that I blame her, the whole day's been exhausting.
We collect our keys from the front desk before beginning our journey to find our rooms.
" This was a mistake. I shouldn't have brought her here. What if she's like traumatized now? She's too young for all this crap. " Eddie mumbles in concern.
" Hey, she's going to be alright. " I try to reassure him. " She's a strong little kid, she'll be okay. Don't beat yourself up too much about it. "
Eddie doesn't look like he believes me. Instead of voicing his concerns further, he chooses to nod and remain silent.
We finally come across the massive suite we're staying in. As soon as we enter we're greeted by a large common area with a beautiful gift basket full of treats. To the side is a small kitchen and bathroom.
Eddie disappears into one of the other rooms, one I'm assuming is a bedroom.
I make my way into the other room and a rush of exhaustion hits my body. I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I saw the bed.
I abandon my backpack near the door and flop onto the bed. A small sigh escapes my lips as I close my eyes to block out the bright lights.
This is going to be harder then I thought.
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itsoka-y · 3 days
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Alright chat is time to ask the real questions here and by real questions I mean who of these kids is chronically online and what flavor of chronically online are they. I bring forth some of my choices (plus a few headcanons)
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I just know she ran a Tumblr account like the navy during the golden years where Superwholock reigned supreme I just can feel it in my bones. She also strikes me as someone who enjoys a bit of a conspiracy but she'll have an alternate account for that (and also I think this was a phase for her to develope her writing and journalism skills through her posts even though she was kinda pulling some things out of her ass sometimes but then again she was 13)
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Kinda self-explanatory if not even canon. He'd be one of those annoying ass otakus who try to gatekeep fucking naruto of all things because if you cannot name the sharingan Sasuke used in episode 234 then you're not a real fan.
(i have not watched a single episode of Naruto and it shows i'm sorry)
He's also a misogynist and would engage in discourse with any fujoshi that crosses his timeline because why you forcing Naruto and Sasuke to be gay?
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Unrelated but this is like my favorite picture of him of all time i'm afraid he's the only man i'll choose over a bear
My favorite headcanon is that he's the wildest card you'll ever cross paths with in your life. Like you see him from afar and you kinda get a feel for what he's going to be like (shy, polite bordering on coy, reserved etc. etc.) but then you get to meet and sure it's not like he's outregous or anything but him cracking a galvinazed steel and eco-friendly wood venneer joke or him sending one of those alpha images of an anthropomorphic wolf ripping its shirt would have never crossed your mind. And he has such a wide range as well; one day he's referencing world is mine by hatsune miku the next day you hear him quote breaking bad (someone cooked here) after someone scores a goal with a new hissatsu technique. He definitely knows what the omegaverse is
He really is oomf
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Queen of tiktok. She'd be one of those younger gen z kids/older gen alpha that kinda romanticizes being a fangirl during the 2010s and feels nostalgia for it even if she never lived through those years. She also dabbles into some of the booktok territory, but I don't see her as those who only care for books based on "spicyness" but one of them "you like enemies to lovers because you want to believe that someone will fall in love with you even after seeing the ugliest parts first" kinda gals
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When he's not training or working to support his little siblings, you bet your ass he's on facebook. He shows you memes that were relevant like two or three whole years ago but you don't have the heart to tell him so you just awkwardly laugh, reinforcing the cycle (the only ones who'd genuinely find them funny would be Tsunami but that's only because he's chronically offline)
He's so out of the loop and let's pray to god It stays that way. Bless his little soul
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Hear me out. Terrible case of ipad kid even if he got out of it. I mean, he was playing to recreate the fire tornado when he was five years old and I like to imagine him as that one scene of little deku asking his mom to play on the computer the video of all might saving people but it's him pestering yuuichi to play him a compilation of all of Gouenji's hissatsu techniques. I find it adorable thank you very much. He's still lurking somewhere on twitter with his private account (he has 0 followers and he'd like for it to keep being that way) where he just vents about his life and feelings (look he's gone through so much and he needs a place to let it all out ok?) and retweets stuff from other emo kids online. I also know his spotify playlists are curated to perfection
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As any child with a troubled home life, he copes by being an absolute MENACE online. He for sure has told people to off themselves at some point. Has sided with Drake during this years beef with Kendrick Lamar for the hell of it (doesn't even listen to the guy's music). Thank god the FFI wasn't running digital footprints' checks way back when because his ass would not have made the call into the team because of it. Got tamer as an adult and realized how fucked up some of the shit he was doing and saying was but has still gotten into trouble for some of his old tweets (he's definitely ruffled some feathers for quite a few football fans online and is quite the controversial character, you either love him or hate him i fear)
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Same as Fudou but whereas Fudou was trolling through the league of Legends chat and on call of duty lobbies this one was trolling on fortnite. Maybe even roblox
And that would be it. Feel free to add as many other characters as you feel like because this is so fun to do and I want to see someone else's takes to this kinda thing 🫣
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pugh-bug · 14 hours
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No.42 Chapter 3
Art Donaldson x reader slow burn friends to lovers
Sorry for the wait! The day I set aside to get loads done on this I ended up having to visit a family member in hospital, he’s much much better now. Anyway oversharing. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I loved writing it. Let me know if you wanna be added to my tag list 💕
Part 2
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You woke up on Saturday morning to a missed text from Art.
7:58am - text from Art
Sorry if I woke you when I left. Gone to play hard court today hope you slept alright on that couch.
The sudden realisation that you were not in fact in your bed hit you almost as hard as the loose spring in your back. You groaned, reaching for some leftover pizza. None left. You groaned again.
9:26am - text to Art
Did you eat all your pizza?
To your surprise the boy replied immediately, showcasing his ability to read your mind.
9:27am - text from Art
Afraid so :) Look in the fridge if you’re so hungry
The fridge, despite the tightness of your apartment, had never looked so far away. You’d rather wait the nine hours for Art to return and pass food to you through a funnel. He could create some sort of feeding tube, perhaps he could fashion it out of one of the dozen tennis ball containers Patrick left lying around. You hadn’t seen the floor in years.
It took you almost thirty minutes to peel your lifeless body off the sofa and trudge the eight metres to the fridge. Before all of your fingers had grasped the cold metal you caught it. The smell.
The month you and Patrick were flat hunting had been a difficult one, full of stress and disappointments. A week before you found the flat you now called home, Art had found crying outside your favourite pancake place. You didn’t know if Patrick had texted him, giving him a heads up of your less than stellar mood and where to find you, or if he had simply ran into you by accident but one minute he was there.
The two of you had shared your favourite, strawberry and kiwi pancakes with whipped cream, despite having never spent time alone together previously and it hadn’t been awkward. Any awkwardness had come from your inability to keep your emotions to yourself and not a mess for all to see. Art hadn’t minded in fact, unbeknownst to you, he’d greatly enjoyed your company and had had a shitty day himself before your talk.
10:02am - text to Art
Did I ever mention I love you living here??
Sitting proudly in the fridge, in between Patrick’s abandoned pasta and your pathetic amount of cheese, was a plate of strawberry and kiwi pancakes. You looked at the pile of washing up and noticed essence of strawberry still dripping from the chopping board next to a whisk and bowl.
‘God damn…’ you actually moaned aloud at the first bite. Not only were they delicious but they’d been made especially for you for no reason. No one had ever made you breakfast before, unless you counted the time Patrick threw a box of muffins at your head to wake you up for school. It often didn’t take a great amount of effort to impress you, something maybe a therapist needed to hear about, but you felt justified being impressed with Art for this. They were truly wonderful.
10:20am - text from Art
Come thank me in person if you want, Liam is taking another break
You couldn’t help but smile at his little dig at Liam, whether intentional or not it told you everything you needed to know: Art was the better player. Art was always the better player, he usually wiped the floor with anyone who wasn’t Patrick.
It was only a twenty minute walk to Stanford and although you were ashamed to admit it … you had nothing better to do on a Saturday morning. You decided to pack your laptop, so you could kid yourself that this was a productive thing and not just an excuse to watch Art sweat. The damn thing wouldn’t even get opened and you knew it.
It was a hot day, even for Summer it was unforgiving. You pulled at your tank top, attempting to negate any sweat stains by leaving a gap between your wet skin and the thin fabric. No such luck, the car window reflection of yourself showed you the harsh reality. How did Art do it? How did he look sexy whilst sweating? You felt like a drowned dog, heaving and panting in the back of a muggy car trying to see past the drops of sweat in your lashes.
You reached Stanford earlier than you expected and to your great satisfaction, saw no Art present. That gave you ample time to tidy yourself up in the toilets before meeting him. The college had crisp air con, much better than the pathetic excuse for a fan you and Patrick would crowd round on hot days.
Art didn’t text you directions because he didn’t need to. He knew you’d visited Patrick enough times to know your way around all the tennis courts, hard or otherwise. It didn’t take you long to find the right one.
‘Fuck!’
You scanned the indoor courts for the source of the outburst. Art, third court from the left and he was not happy. For a moment you teetered on your feet, unsure if it was better to wait a bit before interfering with their clearly tense match. Before you could make a decision however-
‘Y/N!’
Liam spotted you, putting his racket down immediately to wave you over. He’d once gotten drunk and told Patrick how much he liked you but that it had been so long ago that you’d almost forgotten and his new girlfriend was a tennis star. On the ‘up and up’ as Patrick’s dad would say.
Although Liam’s hug was intense, sweaty and pretty uncomfortable you were too focused on Art to cringe. He was rubbing his face with his hands, looking more pained than you’d ever seen him. You didn’t know why. He’d been playing well before you arrived.
Noticing the object of your frown, Liam suddenly grinned even wider. ‘He just lost the third set.’ Art took a large swig of water, not noticing the way you stared in awe at the angle of his jaw and the wet curls on his forehead. He was too focused on the racket he was clutching fiercely enough to force the veins of his forearm to pull your attention.
‘I know it’s not over yet,’ Liam panted slightly, clearly Art had still run him ragged. ‘But this never happens - never.’ In the years they’d played together, Liam had never beaten Art. Not in singles or doubles. Not on hard court. Not on clay or grass. Never. You were not convinced, however, that poor Liam had never won a set before so you voiced your opinion without thinking.
‘Art, you can still win. It’s fine!’
Art shot you a glare. It didn’t last long but it burned you a little, the intensity of it. He wanted so badly for you to be right, for it to not matter to him. ‘It’s just a game’ well it wasn’t to Art. It was his entire future and if he lost - if he lost ever - it was him throwing that future away.
‘You’ll win the fourth.’ You smiled, reassuringly. That lifted Art a little and bruised his partner.
‘I thought we were stopping for a bit since Y/N’s here.’ Art watched your face for a reaction, daring you to decide for the three of them. Without removing your eyes from Art you smiled. ‘No, no. I’ll watch.’
You watched them play for another hour and a half. Art just won the fourth set, by the narrowest of margins but that gave him the confidence boost he badly needed to destroy Liam in the fifth. Th-wack! Smash. Th-wack! Slice. Th-wack! Topspin. You were honestly confused why Liam bothered serving. If it had been you - well - let’s just say the floor would have made a more than sufficient bed. It was certainly making a sufficient seat for you to watch Liam get massacred. God was Art good.
‘You win…’ Liam was dripping, his white shirt almost see-through. ‘I need a sec…’ So did you. It was practically a workout just watching them. You clapped as Art walked over to you, looking very satisfied with his win. ‘You happy now?’
‘Very.’
As Liam rung out his shirt, Art gestured to the court with his racket. ‘You and me. One game.’ His eyes were full of amusement.
‘Ha.’
You’d die.
‘One set?’ He smirked, desperate for you to humour him. Not today. ‘Absolutely not.’ You laughed, standing up.
‘Actually, I’d love lunch right now,’ Liam’s suggestion was a necessity. ‘After a shower.’ And so was his afterthought. They both needed one desperately. Art’s hair didn’t even look blonde anymore.
‘Yeah you two go, I’ll wait then we can get food. I’m not super hungry but I can always eat.’
Liam was already rushing to the showers, practically leaving a pool of loser evidence behind him but Art heard. He looked like he was waiting for something from you and for a moment, in your haze, you wondered what. Oh!
‘The pancakes,’
‘Hm.’
‘De-licious.’
‘Good.’
You could tell he was happier with your compliment than he was letting on. The truth was Art craved praise, mostly for tennis but for anything he accomplished. It didn’t matter if he’d made a three tier cake, organised a trip or won every set in a match he wanted to know he’d done good.
‘Seriously, how did you even find the recipe?’ The two of you walked together out of the hall. ‘I’ve been asking the staff for years, pretty sure they hate me now actually.’
‘I have my ways.’ He grinned. ‘Now, I’m gonna go shower-‘
‘Good, you stink.’
‘Fuck off.’
Taglist: @gatorgirl007 @imblushingrn
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thief-of-eggs · 7 months
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Cass doesn’t look, she glares
Tim doesn’t smile, he grimaces.
Damian doesn’t speak, he growls.
Jason doesn’t raise his voice, he screams.
Duke doesn’t watch, he scrutinizes.
Dick doesn’t smooth talk, he manipulates.
Steph doesn’t laugh, she cackles. Manically.
Bruce’s children are a little damaged, a little odd. If not in big ways, then in the smallest of ways that so clearly sets them apart from everyone else. Their line of work demands it, their breeding encourages it.
It’s just how they were made. Once they’ve been touched by the shadows of Gotham, it never leaves their veins.
It’s in their blood now. It’s seen in their eyes, their smiles. The twitch of their face, the narrowing of their gaze.
Gotham’s embrace never lets you go.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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pinolitas · 8 months
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my cousins who have money and privilege to be moving back and forth between the US and Mexico treat living in the US like a study abroad program that they can just pick up whenever they want and go back home to tell stories about it im sorry i have to say it they dont have good reason to be doing that when they have kids to raise 😭 youve set up the foundation for a terrible childhood by moving them back and forth and having them live with different people all the time like part of the year they live with their grandma and then with their dad and then with their mom you are fucking up those kids' mental stability 😭😭😭😭
#praying they stay outta my house for good this time 🙏🏼#ive drafted so many posts about them but alas i have to say it like actually#their baby daddies dont want their kids in the US anymore cause they cant see their kids often easily#and i think it's been an issue the whole time#but they realllly wanted to live out their 20s in the US fantasy#sorry girls... shoulda considered the responsibilities that come with having a kid#they are pro-lifers that chose giving birth and genuinely love their kids but they cant have both fun 20s abroad and motherhood#i also think their pro-life stance is only cause their kids were accidents and think everyone else should suffer the same fate lol#it is especially only easy for them to be pro-life when they have such a great support system in both their own and baby daddies' families#neither of my 2 cousins got married or were forced to marry as a result of their pregnancies but they are still close to the fathers#anyways the younger 2 cousins are alright and also treated this like study abroad#but one of them realized she likes mexico more a long time ago and is only sticking around to support the younger one#the youngest is annoying but shes a teenager and i hope she decides college here isnt worth it when she finally graduates#its less annoying around here now that the eldest have left with their kids#those kids would scream all the time and also get into fights with the teenager somehow#dunno if i complained about them here before but if i have im sorry#im done i hope they leave me and my house alone for forever after june 2024
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So the biggest exam of my semester is in 59 hours and I'm too tired to do any kind of work. Please send help. This is fine.
#sorry for spamming on here but im too tired to care#chronic illness is so funn yall#ive gotten through 66% of my preparations/the curriculum so this is shaping up to be my worst semester result wise ever#which is fine. i mean it is what it is but i had a full on week long break down a year and a half ago for getting a c so this might be fun#gotta love gifted kid syndrome#what do you mean i cant just get straight As now that im only able to do like 25-30 hours work a week and also had major surgery#this semester 😲#i mean itll be fine. unless i have spectacularly bad luck i wont be drawn both in orthopaedic and kbp#and barring that i really probably wont fail or anything#i might even get lucky and get drawn in like SCa and oncology or pain conditions in which case i might even get an a but like...#im probably realistically speaking at like a D. which is fine. its fine. really.#ill just have to get comfortable with the idea and also maybe if im not too sick work some on kbp#orthopaedics can suck my dick honestly. except fractures. fractures can stay theyre alright.#fucking knee and shoulder pathology in orthopaedics however is the fucking worst and i hate the existence of both shoulders and knees wirh#a burning passion atm#he said having been unable to study for like two days and needing a 5 hour lie down after attending a 3 hour seminar earlier in the week#surely that has nothing to do with my current condition#or predicament rather#anyways yeah i love rambling in the tags when im too tired to function properly#not space
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isabelguerra · 1 year
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paranatural would be so good if the characters had intended symbolism and core beliefs and things behind them that drove a specific meaning. rather than being tools for shonen anime pseudomocking
#like all joming aside the comic is funny but thats it. its funny. its made to be funny. it has some wacky lines gets some good reactions#its funny. but i dont think its a good story anymore.#like let’s really think about this for a moment. what is paranatural about.#4 years ago i wouldnt said ‘kids fighting ghosts in their wacky hometown’ but theh havent done that in ages. theres no trace of that story#and there hasnt been since chapter 5 ended#digging further- thats just plot. what is it ABOUT? the power of friendship? the perseverance to protect the ones you love?#i used to love max for his down-to-earth straight man grounded perspective. max wasnt funny. max was reasonable and the contrast of that#reason against the nonsense of the town is what MADE him funny.#like the other day when i posted the comparison between ch4’s hallway specshot scene and the one from fridays page#max isnt being funny in the hallway. ‘why am i here’ is put against Haha Woww So Deel Max Lol to which he can reply no i mean study hall.#his reaction is rational. the sarcasm adds humor but its rather the world around him which is so newly strange that his normalcy is funny#and then versus the new page. max makes a Why Am I Here joke again. but this time the question is not asked by max the character who wants#to know why his father has dragged him to a kids entertainment zone. but rather is asked as the setup for an#Unexpected Quirky Classic Max One-Liner ‘no i meant on this earth why do i exist’#it just feels so much flatter. max isnt aloof and uncaring and sarcastic because he doesnt care about anything or anyone and is untouchable.#max is standoffish but genuinely nice and caring for the people he meets. his first instinct after landing on johnnys face#is to ask if hes alright. when PJ feels distraught at not being important in his own death maxes first instinct is to find a way to make him#feel better. to challenge that perspective and doubt the viewpoint his own poor self esteem gives him#when isabel comes out of her spirit trance and is too shocked to move max immediately rushes to her side to protect her against a spirit hes#terrified of. and then the next day brings what happened up to her and says hes sorry she went through that and hes got her back#he BREAKS HIS ARM TO PROTECT JOHNNY AGAINST HIJACK#hes a good protagonist because even though he has trouble connecting to others and being super friendly hes still NICE!!!! he still CARES!!!#i might take these tags and just make them a new post this turned into loving max hours#paranatural
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epicene-humanoid · 2 years
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happy will wood wthursday to all who celebrate 🧀 hope to see y’all on the other side of “in case i make it,” bc i may in fact not make it through this album fr 🫶
#wasssss that allll there wasss to thisss 😭😭 tearing up already jesus#YOOOO THE INSTFUMENTATION IN TRACK 2 HELLOOOOO#are you fucking kidding me. god fuck. i am a becoming the last names stan first and a human second.#it just feels inhumane to lose this much 😭🤞 CUZ WHEN YOU LEAVE TOU KNOW YOU TAAAKE MORE THAN YOUR LOOOOVE#literally sprinting to unplug my emotions so i can get through euthanasia in one piece 🏃‍♂️ i know it’s not true :( there’s just no more you#i need to listen to falling up 29 more times omg… is now really a good time for a new tattoo djdksk HUSH.#‘come on sweep me off my knees’ is SUCHH. a good lyric. also there’s so much gender in this i gottta examine later#alright who’s gonna fall in love with me so we can dance to um it’s kind of a lot 🤨 me and who. WHOM. ayayayayay.#vampire reference in a minor key has me by the THROAT. literally i’m so ready for halloween#twerks to you liked this 😫 literally such a banger#the main character makes me want to walk like a pixar villain oh my GOD#‘i’m the main character and you have to like me 😁😁’ WAAHA I LOVE THIS SONG SM#SORRY WAIT DID HE JUST REFERENCE DOCTOR WHO SHDKDKS EYO???#literally giggling and kicking my feet no literally i’m making the main character my ENTIREEEEE personality ehehehehe 🤭🤭#the claps in against the kitchen floor by will wood 🤝🤝 the claps in nobody by mitski#no bc how does he drop the lyric ‘make the closest thing to love that i’m capable of’ and then i’m just supposed to move ON W MY DAY???#i’m playing the last like 45 seconds of this song for my therapist if i ever get one djdkdk#A DATA ENTRY FIVE TO NINERRRR 📢📢📢#sex drugs and rock n roll song of the century methinks#the song title that starts ‘big fat bitchie’s blueberry pie’ takes longer to scroll through the title than the song is long 😭 obsessed#YOO WAS THAT MIRACLE MUSICAL ‼️ right at the beginning of willard! i stg omg#will wood can do a leitmotif like nobody else fr 🫶#in conclusion i’ll never be the same ♥️ my faves from the new releases are main character and becoming the lastnames for sure#ok now to listen to the whole thing 40 more times xoxoxo#is this anything
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m.axi thoughts. they don't stop, huh?
#okay but theyve never stopped- ive liked this guy since i was a very small ash aksjaksj#he's just so... 😳 yeah#he's so handsome and funny and cute.. and he's so strong! he's a little dumb but i love that about him too!#i've been thinking about them in the 5th game a lot#so much older now and theyve sorta sorted through everything. ash has her guy back. theyre both pretty messed up from#(gestures to the previous games) but theyre together#also you know how his aging slowed down bcs of the cursed sword? yeah ash doesnt have that shit going on#she very much looks like a woman in her 40s- the kids (l.exia x.iba and n.atsu) are all :O when she mumbles that hes actually older#i especially love thinking about them at night. their cuddles are so soft. ash has a scar on her back from a.staroth#and sometimes he just gets lost in the past seeing that scar#he thinks about everything he lost. and ash just holds him#oh but mostly theyre just the cool aunt and uncle in 5- love that for them. they had more than enough angst in the 4th game LMAO#oh okay alright real quick. story time. okay so i have a m.axi keychain on my bag (i'm gonna add my k.ilik and x.ianghua one too!)#(gotta complete the trio! s.c4 may have separated them but im better than that! muahaha!)#and this guy stops me and is like 'o shit is that maxi?' 'oh haha yeah! hes my favorite 🥰'#and the guy just looks at me for a second. then looks all disappointed. 'oh.. oh youre a m.axi main..'#yes??? so sorry if hes annoying to play against- hes so fun! anyways @that random stranger#not only do i play him#i smooch him too 🤭#(i didnt say that part out loud)#anyways where was i#right. m.axi. what a guy am i right?#oh and dont even get me started on his voice-#we're down bad this afternoon!#i love him so much akdjqksj he really is the funky pirate guy of my dreams#ash rambles 💚#okay yeah this one was actually a ramble LMAO
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soyoursoulisgreen · 7 months
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3, 4, 19, 20!
3. What ideas come from when you were little
I have two OCs that have really stood the test of time: Akane and Kin - though their names have changed over time haha ♪ They were the first ever queer couple I made, long long loooong before I was out even to myself and shock among shocks, they're angels lol ♥ I remember I even wrote a short story about them from like - middle school probably?? as part of an assignment haha. They've been with me for a loooong time, and I'm still very fond of them 💕
4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw
GLaDOS is so beautiful and I am so bad at drawing machine parts jfdklsasdf. I'm determined to draw her from both games now tho! Her design in Portal 1 is so weird!! <3
19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)
Plushies, no contest. Drawings the seams and darts and stitches and wear and fluff and fabric vs. fur I just ugh it's all so satisfying! The way the cloth folds over itself or stands firm on its own over well-stuffed filling! I love plushies!! Funny enough, I rarely use them as props tho haha - that's usually things like books, cups, pencils, etc.
20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy
I haven't heard the complaint in earnest in a while, just in a jokey fashion, but I really really enjoy drawing hands :) Hand expressions are so fun to me! They're just as expressive as faces - especially masked characters haha - and they're so versatile! Come in so many shapes, some hard, some rubberhose wiggly, some sharp and Shaped, but they still all emote similarly. Even just slight position changing can change the temperature of how it reads! It's a challenge for sure but it's just so satisfying >:3c
#Woah an original post#Ask#Ask me#Thank you! :D Fun fun!!#I always love talking about my own lads hehe <3 <3#If I had to guess a year to put to Akane and Kin oh gosh hmm...#Somewhere around 2008/9 if I had to guess?? It's hard to keep track from before I was online haha and I joined kind of late#I've had them for a heck-while! I love them ♥ It's not shown in their tag I linked but I also made some Aarakocran versions of them haha#I still have a lot of the journals and stuff from when I was a kid but none of them have been as long-lasting#I think it's probably because I was very ''inspired'' by what I was reading at that time - which was mostly high school romance lol#Aya and Haruka are almost more like self-parody of that haha - not many characters survived from that time#But Akane and Kin were always in that vague sort of adults sort of teens haze that lets them convert over easily#Their problems weren't related to school or anything so it makes them more versatile :)#I wonder if I still have their short stories anywhere - I also cried while writing one of them lol I've always been the sensitive type haha#Sorry if GLaDOS is the obvious answer lol but it's true! I'm slowly improving but she really is difficult to pin down#Any kind of machinery my brain just blanks out lol. ''It is shaped'' ''How?'' ''Yes'' Pfft#Also rude to imply nature is inanimate! I almost mistakenly said tree but they are animate! They're very alive!#But that's alright - I like drawing trees but I don't very often haha#I really do love drawing plushies tho I lose my mind about them they're so cute <3 Send me pictures of your plushies I will love them /gen#And for hands I mean - I've been enjoying drawing them for so long that it almost feels like the Curse of Knowledge lol#Do people genuinely struggle with hands?? I mean I still do at times - especially closed fists or certain angles#But in general? When they're just hanging out and being silly fruity little appendages?#Or with ASL or the like ♥ They're so fun! My latests have been working with more knuckles than usual haha it feels weird#I never have to worry about same face syndrome with hands! They really feel so intuitively individual haha
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deadsetobsessions · 2 months
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Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt. 5
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.6][Pt.7]
“So you’re that dead kid everyone’s talking about.”
Danny smacked a trash bag into the purple clad vigilante. “You can pick up the glass.”
“Wait, I’m just here to-”
“Bother me when I’m working? At least the litterer brings me cash. You can help clean or you can leave. Plastics go over there.”
Danny pointed at a pile of plastics, ignoring Spoiler’s bemused look. Hard to tell, really, considering her mask.
“I’ll help clean if you answer some questions!” Spoiler chirped, already moving to pick out the glass in the general trash pile Danny’s managed to gather. He nodded.
“Alright. At least you’re helping. The other one just bothers me and leaves his stuff on the beach.”
Spoiler snorted. “I’m Spoiler. Is the litterer Batman?”
“Sure. I don’t really care what his name is,” which was a complete lie, Danny was a fan. It’s just that messing with Batman (especially after he couldn’t clean up after himself, honestly!) overrode his fan behavior. “But if I catch him leaving shit in the waters again…”
Danny frowned, eyes glowing. He could feel- even with his partial tangibility, the muck of Gotham's waters seeping into his boots. It was not giving 'Live, Laugh, Love' to Danny, and he needed it gone.
“Whatever. They dropped a lot of guns down here. You can deal with those too, yeah?”
“I'm pretty sure that's evidence?!”
“If you could call it that.” Danny plucked away the Styrofoam and the hazardous (more than regular, anyways) materials away from the trash pile so Spoiler could dig through with her gloves without contracting sixteen different sorts of illnesses.
“So, what brings you to Gotham?”
Danny pointed at the water. “Came for school. Stayed because you losers polluted the water with dead bodies and gross chemicals.”
“You go to school?”
“Hey, that’s discriminatory.”
“Oops! No, sorry! I meant-”
Danny waved her off, irritably separating a bottle cap from the crushed bottle. Seriously, what’s the point of putting the cap back on if you were going to throw it in the bay anyways?
“It’s fine. How else am I supposed to learn about the advancements made in the scientific industry otherwise?”
Even if Danny wasn’t too sure that science could sure stupidity, but a halfa could dream, right?
"So... do you just... listen in on lectures?"
Danny stared at her. "What else would I do in a class??"
"Oh. I just thought since you're dead and all, you'd do something more... fun?"
"I mean, I could terrorize the local villains for kicks, if that's what you meant."
Spoiler brightened. "Actually, yeah! That would be helpful! If Mr. Freeze keeps bringing the cold during my latte Thursdays, I'm gonna snap and wring his cold little chicken neck."
Danny snorted. "Alright. I will keep an eye out for this Mr. Freeze." Danny paused. "Hey, tell your friend to come down and help us."
"What- oh. Black Bat!" Stephanie waved her partner down. Black Bat gracefully slipped down towards the bay, casually knocking out two goons gunning for Spoiler.
'Careful,' Black Bat signed.
"Thanks!" Spoiler bounced on the heels of her feet. She swept an arm out. "Wanna help?"
Black Bat tilted her head and, after placing Danny under quick but thorough scrutiny, nodded.
'You can get the salvageable stuff. Anything you can't lift, leave to me.' Danny signed clumsily, placing emphasis on can't.
"You know sign language?"
"I'm not too good at it, I just learned this version."
He knew ghost-sign first, after all.
"Chop, chop. I don't have all night."
----
Danny learned that Black Bat had the skill to knock cans into their designated piles if he threw them in the air so she could kick at them.
"You two can come back anytime."
Spoiler whooped while Black Bat leaned back, smug.
"Wait, tell the litterer he owes me $200. He was short last time."
"...Are you telling me Batman owes you money?"
"Yeah. He might be in financial straights, so I gave him some lee-way."
Black Bat and Spoiler looked at each other.
----
"Hey, so guess what I learned about sea boy!"
Bruce's head swiveled to her with startling intensity. The rest of the clan tuned in.
"He knows sign language! Maybe he even knows ancient sign language! And goes to school, but since he's like, dead, he could only listen to the lectures."
"Bruce, Bruce, do not start a ghost-education plan. Stop. We don't even know if he even-" Dick tackled Bruce, who was already writing a petition as Bruce Wayne to give partial credit to students that diligently goes to class.
"Oh, yeah!" Stephanie shouted over the unraveling chaos. "He promised to fuck with our Rogues for a bit so we can get a break! And we also got a bunch of guns!"
"Where? Gimme!" Jason demanded.
"Do not give Todd more firearms!" Damian cut in.
"Also!" Stephanie grinned as Cass shook with laughter. "Batman's a debtor! He owes Phantom $200!"
"Ain't no fucking way." Tim cackled. "Hear that Bruce? That's karma! For not defending me when he called me broke!"
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