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kikipancakes · 3 days

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Gentle persuasion

A veeeeeery loose sequel to this (x)

#jason todd #bruce wayne #dc comics #drawings #kik draws dc #as much as i love their angst #im a sucker for jason and bruce having a good relationship and getting their shit sorted #loose sequel as in i reused a drawing from the other comic BAHAHA

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dyslexicandakeyboard · 2 days

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Bruce would have interesting ways to discipline his kids.

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Bruce: Listen to me, Damian! You can not steal my car and drive across country to visit Jon.

Damian: Then why do I know how to drive! And my mommy says I can! You don't own me!

Bruce: Young man, when you are under my roof you will follow my-

Damian: No I don't.

Bruce: If that's how it's gonna be. *Draws a circle around Damian* Stay there for five minutes.

Damian: D-d-d-daddy?

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Dick: *swinging from the chandelier that has been pass down in Bruce's family for generations* I'm gonna swing from the chan-

Bruce: Get down here this instant!

Dick: I'm not doing anything.

Bruce: Richard Grayson

Dick: You're not my dad!

Bruce: *brings out a bag of m&ms*

Dick: What are you doing? Those are mine?

Bruce: *opens it slowly*

Dick: Bruce?

Bruce:*eats one*

Dick: STOP, I'm coming down. Don't eat them!

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Jason: You can't make me. I'm not going to the party.

Bruce: *head vein throbbing* This is important. You can't skip this event.

Jason: *shrugs* You'll have to carry me.

Bruce: *takes a deep breath and walks away*

Jason: ahah, baby.

Bruce: *comes back with a bottle of castor oil and a spoon*

Jason: You sick sick man. Fine I'll go.

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Bruce: Tim you disappoint me.

Tim: I didn't think it would blow up the Batcave. Or make mustard gas. Or create a sinkhole.

Bruce: *sighs* I have no choice. You going on a nature retreat.

Tim: Bruce!

Bruce: Over two weekends. With the Boy Scouts.

Tim: *tears glisten in his eyes* Bruce...

Bruce: As a junior member.

Tim:

Bonus

Alfred: Right! That's it, Master Bruce. *Pours a spoon of castor oil8

Bruce:

#bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #tim drake #alfred pennyworth #batman #dc comics #batfamily shenanigans #only Bruce drink castor oil #Jason was just threatened #thank you en-kay

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glow-worms-are-believers · 2 days

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Super short dp x dc idea

Danny is an Alternative Universe version of bruce Wayne. They get switched through some hijinks and Danny is trying to be Bruce-like and just trying to act like a Good Dad to these children his alternate self has amassed (holy shit). Like, He's doing his best to attend school plays and parent-teachers conferences (because Alfred still reminds Bruce of all of them even if he says he can't make it) and is doing no batman stuff (because Danny is unaware there is even such thing as batman stuff).

Meanwhile, the children are 100% sure Bruce is a) possessed b) concussed c) hypnotized d) any and all of the above.

#I'm imagining this is early days #like Bruce is still young and his army of children has only just begun #dc x dp #dp x dc #Danny fenton #bruce wayne #roxpox

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fanaticalthings · 20 hours

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Give me crime lord!Jason who's actually on good terms with the batfam. Not only would it actually be helpful when it comes to missions surrounding underground/illegal operations (Jason would be able to retrieve way more insider knowledge) but also I think having a supervillain family member that you're chill with is just untapped comedic potential that needs to be taken advantage of.

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Damian gets into a petty fight with Bruce, and the next day, instead of waiting for Bruce to pick him up from school, he calls Jason, who shows up in full Red Hood regalia and just rides off with Damian.

Of course everyone at school sees that Wayne's son just got snatched by Gotham's most notorious crime lord, so ofc when Bruce gets there, sees Damian missing, and hears a series of panicked whispers about a gun slinging, criminal biker riding off with a prince of Gotham, Bruce immediately knows what's up and just sighs, already anticipating the many publication companies he's gonna have to bribe to stay silent.

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Sometimes, they need Jason's help with intercepting certain illegal trades within the underworld of, not just Gotham, but just common areas where shady businesses are most prevalent. And when Bruce requests that Jason brings evidence of said illegal shipments to the cave, Jason will smugly respond with "I can, but it'll cost ya"

And Bruce is all exasperated like, "Jason, please, this mission's been going on for a month, I just want to get it over with."

And Jason's just looking down at the crate of smuggled materials, recognizes that it's highly sought after by many rogues (maybe it's machinery parts or rare chemical substances, etc) and ofc Jason's about to be petty as hell when responding to Bruce:

Jason: I don't think you have any idea how valuable the stuff I have is. If I sold this myself in my part of the underground, I'd make a fortune!

Bruce: Jason

Jason: Butttt, if you're not willing to pay me for this, y'know, despite being a billionaire, I guess I could just auction this off to another willing client

Bruce: Jason

Jason: I hear Lex Luthor's been cookin' up something new for Superman. I wonder if he'd be interested?

Bruce: Son, please.

Jason:

Bruce:

Jason: I'll give you a family discount.

And it's just a back and forth of this EVERYTIME. And Jason only does it when he's collaborating with Bruce. None of the other bats have to deal with Jason demanding money.

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There was one time, during a Wayne gala where practically ALL the kids (except Jason, dude's still legally dead), had to show up. And around halfway through, the Red Hood just crashes through the skylight and then just fucking kidnaps Bruce Wayne, in front of everyone. And of course the gala has to be cut short.

Meanwhile, Bruce, in Jason's custody: I CANNOT believe you, son. WHY of all times would you do this? You are GROUNDED, I don't care if you don't live with me anymore, this is just UNACCEPTABLE-

Jason, completely ignoring him, holding up a tablet with news article headlines about this incident: Bruce, look at this shot they got of me crashing through the ceiling, I look fuckin' badass

And then when the fam (in costume) come to "save" Bruce, in a blink and you'll miss it moment, Bruce catches Cass and Jason whispering something to eachother in the corner and them fist bumping before Jason books it out of there. He can already feel a headache brewing.

And generally speaking, I feel like the batfam could be way more efficient with this arrangement. You got the regular team of bats, investigating from above, as well as being able to infiltrate socialite environments as Waynes. Then you got Jason, who can keep an eye on all the lesser exposed and lucrative activities whilst he keeps the underground businesses under his control. I feel like it would be a win win situation that would be hella interesting to see explored.

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frownyalfred · 9 hours

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Okay, I know Damian is a trained assassin, very scary, a competent Robin, etc, but he’s also always drawn as a very slim, small child. It’s got me thinking about weight classes and the actual viability of unbalanced combat.

If Bruce ever needed to get him to stop doing something, he could just pick him up by the scruff of the neck and let him dangle. Oh that wouldn’t work? Bruce is like 210-230 lbs, maybe more. He’s over six feet tall. He’s built like a brick shithouse.

It would be like picking up a really, really angry kitten. Bruce is entirely unphased by biting. He’s picked up Robins for going on ten+ years at this point. A kick to the gut? Has nothing on the car he got hit by last week in the Narrows.

As long as Damian doesn’t have his sword…yeah, he’s just a kid. A small kid with a HUGE dad who isn’t the least bit intimidated by physical violence.

#rambling #thoughts #bruce wayne #batman #dc #Robin #Damian wayne

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incorrectbatfam · 2 days

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Bruce: What did you do at school?

Damian: Built a catapult.

Bruce: For a class, right?

Damian:

Bruce: Right?

#source: twitter #bruce wayne #batman #damian wayne #robin #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics

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pepart · 1 day

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🤨🎤

#dick grayson #robin #bruce wayne #batman #superbat #pep art

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ghost-bxrd · 2 days

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Prompt:

Jason insists on being the bait for a joint mission with the Bats. But the moment he starts “screaming” during the interrogation process, Batman calls the whole thing off and smashes right through the window and into the first thug.

Absolutely nobody is surprised by this development. Except Jason.

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spicy-apple-pie · 15 hours

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Listen. I know canonically Damian acts out against his father for very valid reasons, but what if Damian was like… very submissive towards Bruce (for lack of a better term)

Like his mother has been hyping him up for his whole life, he thinks the world of his father. And because he’s only known greatness in terms of the LoA. Strict hierarchies, professionalism, no chit chat etc.

So Damian gets there and obeys Bruce with no questions asked. He won’t talk unless spoken to and stands at attention when addressed. Also the problem of him thinking that Tim and Alfred fall under him and should behave the same way. And they both recognize how tragic it is because he’s just holding them to his standard, if that makes sense? Like Damian is expecting Bruce to treat him the way he treats them kinda thing so they’re like “>:(“ but also “:(“

And then Bruce is like “okay, I’m going to take a whole day off and hang out with Damian to show him that we’re chill.” But Damian takes this as “ah yes, the test to determine whether I’m worthy to stay.”

And they spend the day at the park and Bruce is trying the whole day to pry Damian open like “what kind of ice cream do you want?” Or “what would you like to do?” And Damian replies with “what ever you see fit, Father.”

Until Damian breaks down because he doesn’t know the right answers. And he sees it in Bruce’s face when he answers that he’s getting it wrong somehow, but he doesn’t know. And then Father is going to send him back, and Mother will be disappointed.

And Bruce holds him, tells him to take deep breaths, and kisses his head. And Damian cries harder because it reminds him of Mother and desperately wants his Mother right now.

Idk, I just love hurt/comfort and good dad Bruce.

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d3jha · 2 days

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I feel like the bats have walked off Life threatening injuries like

Clark: batman ermm... he got a hole there

Bruce: And? *beating The belief of God into an alien.*

Wally: NIGHTWING!

Dick:what

Wally WHAT? YOU JUST GOT SHOT

ROY: Did I just here your bones crack!?!

Jason:oh yah just my ribs

Roy:Jason why do I see a gunshot wound near where your rids are Broken

Kon:...

Tim:what?

Kon:how the fuck are you alive.

Tim: <who just fell of a cliff> Spite and pettiness

Jon:Damian... there is a knife in your back

Damian: it's not important

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calsvoid · 1 day

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i just know jason gets SOOO embarrassed when he does something and it’s similar to dick or bruce. he says a phrase dick often says and dies inside or he is talking and realizes he’s using the same tone and words his dad uses. he’s doing a move in combat and remembers exactly who he learned it from. his hair looks a little too much like bruce’s one day. dick would wear this hoodie. he’s eating takeout from a restaurant dick introduced him to. he’s just like his dad and his big brother and he wants to scream because EWWWWWWWWWW

#dc #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #batman #nightwing #red hood #robin #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #spoken from someone who gets extremely embarrassed when i realize i swear like my brother #my mom and i mispronounce salmon the same way and i died when i noticed

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secretidentie · 3 days

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*Bruce calling the JL after swapping bodies with Clark* : I have to notify you that superman is inside me

*JL casually* : Yeah, what's new

#batman #superbat #worlds finest #bruce wayne #clark kent #superbat fanfiction #superbat fic #superman #bruce x clark #like they're dating #i love them so much

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vixfern · 2 days

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Bruce: My gray hairs are coming in.. maybe I should dye it-

Jason: I DIED ONCE

Bruce: …

Jason: IT WAS TRAUMATIZING

Bruce: Yes, it was for all of us

Jason: but not more traumatizing than for me I’m the one that DIED!! I DIED BRUCE!!

#batman #dc #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #dcu #bruce wayne #incorrect quotes #jason todd #red hood

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bruciemilf · 13 hours

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heyy, I had a dream of the Waynes having beef with irl celebrities (mainly the Kardashians since I personally don't really like them) and wanted to know if you think that there would be this kind of rivalry between them if they were to co-exist

(sorry if this is worded weirdly, english is my second language, and I'm still really tired, lol)

OH! This gave me an idea. Batfamily + celebrities they have parasocial hatred with.

Bruce: Kim Kardashian (obvious reasons, but I think it’d be so funny if he hates her because she tried buying his mother’s pearls for the Met Gala. )

Tim: Drake; He hasn’t had a second of peace since Not Like Us dropped. Jason has that playing over coms at 100 volume.

Dick: Chris Evans. He lost best butt in America contest to him (As nightwing) and hasn’t been the same since. No one knows why Bruce Wayne’s son hates Captain America so much.

Jason: JK RAWLING. He hates that woman with every inch and beat of his being. Wrote a 100,000 K word fanfiction about Harry Potter transitioning out of spite. It got a movie adaptation.

Damian: Taylor Swift. “It’s like listening to yogurt.”

Alfred: Gordon Ramsey (they had a cook off and he lost. ) also, queen elizabeth. Ominously sipped tea while her death was announced. Probably came to the funeral and watched in all black, from the sidelines, in a huge hat.

Stephanie: Adam Sandler. “The bitch stole my look!”

#bruce wayne #dick grasyon #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #stephanie brown #alfred pennyworth #dc comics #batfamily #text #text post #batman

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wondersinwaynemanor · 3 days

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at the Watchtower

~

Batman, currently having an intense workout at the gym.

Green Arrow, enters the area: Adding more muscles on you, Bats? Don't you have enough on you?

Batman, briefly glances in Green Arrow's direction: Hn.

Batman does cardio for a while before disappearing to the showers to freshen up, leaving Green Arrow confused.

-

Batman, eating in peace at the cafeteria.

Flash, suddenly zooms in front of the table: Slow down on the protein, Bats. Leave some for us.

Batman, narrows his eyes at his teammate, clearly bothered by the disturbance.

Flash, gulps, before running away: Forget I said anything. Byeee!

~

Superman: Did Batman just jog around the tower for 3 hours?

Wonder Woman: It's more than that.

Superman, calls for Batman, when he passes by them: You preparing for an off world mission that we don't know about, Batman?

Wonder Woman waits for a reply, hands on her hips.

Batman, growls: None of your business.

Superman and Wonder Woman exchange a look and just let him be.

Superman: He must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Wonder Woman, smiles: I think I have an idea on what's happening.

--

at the Manor:

~

his kids noticing his workout routine as well.

Dick: Ooooh, you trying to impress a special someone, B?

Cass: You don't have a condition, right?

Steph: It's not depression, right?

Damian: You signed up for a marathon, Father?

Duke: Is this involving your next mission with the Justice League?

Jason: Bane giving you a hard time, old man?

Tim: You're not missing a spleen too, right?

Bruce, sighs: None of the above.

Bruce: As you are all grown up now, I need some extra strength to carry you when you need me for anything.

there is a brief silence as his kids internalize on what he said.

Dick: Awww, B is getting soft in his old age.

Cass just smiles.

Steph: Woah. Bruce must have been doused with cheesiness or something.

Damian: Tt. We appreciate it, Father, but don't over work yourself.

Duke: Dami's right. We can handle ourselves, Bruce.

Jason: Ugh. I didn't come back from the dead for this.

Tim: As long as you're not missing any body part like me.

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frownyalfred · 2 days

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Gotham quietly, incrementally made Tim Drake 5’10 instead of the 5’8 he was supposed to be and I stand by that headcanon.

#Eldritch Gotham but it’s just minor things lol #like #making Tim slightly taller #getting rid of Damian’s lingering childhood asthma #etc etc #Bruce doesn’t age quite as fast #bruce wayne #batman #dc #headcanons #eldritch batfsmily #batfamily #thoughts #tim drake #Timothy drake #Robin #Red Robin

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