I imagine that the Batkids go out for food every once in a while.
So there they are all sitting at the restaurant, when dick goes to pay and accidentally uses one of Bruce's cards.
They get back to the cave to bruce freaking out, everyone is like "IDENTITY BREACH AHHHHH" y'know.
And the next day a paper comes out, "Bats steal Brucies Credit Card!"
From then on they use Bruce's cards for snacks in the field and gotham just accepts that
1. Bruce funds the Bats
2. They take it from him
3. Bruce and Batman dated and Batman stole his credit cards and gave them to his kids.
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Jason, to Bruce: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Dick, smirking: Yeah, now that you mentioned it, I noticed that too
Bruce: β¦
Bruce: I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
Tim: *Loudly sips tea from a bowl*
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I like to think that Tim has a reputation for being a crybaby amongst the batfam. Like, he will tear up in a second. Jason, Damian and Stephanie are constantly making fun of him for it. What no one has figured out yet is that Tim realized years ago that Bruce would stop lecturing him and turned into worried dad mode as soon as the crocodile tears appear.
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Dick: Hey, Jas- why the hell are you wearing a bucket hat indoors?
Jason, who wanted to copy his big brother's mullet but accidentally lopped too much hair off: Hey, bucket hats are cool, okay?!
Dick: Alright...?
*4 Years Later*
Jason: 'Sup, Ti- why are you wearing a hat indoors?
Tim, who thought Jason's white stripe was cool and tried to imitate it but accidentally bleached way too much hair: Hats are really cool, Jason
Jason: *realises* oh. Oh my god...
*2 Years Later*
Tim: Hey, brat, did you- uh, why are you wearing a hat at dinner?
Damian, who secretly thinks Tim's eyebrow notch is cool and tried to copy it but accidentally shaved off half an eyebrow: Because hats are cool, idiot
Tim: *softly* oh. I get it now...
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Yes. Yes I do need that today.
Perhaps the power went out for a little while at the Manorβ¦
Perhaps itβs snowing real bad and they got stuck there for a whileβ¦
Perhaps Alfredβs making hot cocoβ¦
Whoβs to sayβ¦
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[Batfam] Weapons
Damiam: I'm off to school!
Dick: Hold on, Dami. No sword in school. Hand it over.
Damian: What? Why?
Dick: You can't go to school with a sword.
Damian: It's my right to have a protection with me! It makes me feel safe.
Dick: Yes, but not for other students.
Damian, rolling eyes: Fine! This is stupid.
Dick, take the sword away: Thank you. Have fun!
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
*After the door closed
Jason, smuggles Damian a knife: Don't tell Dick.
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
*After school
Jason: I'm here to pick Damian up.
Teacher: Oh uhhh Damian is in detention.
Jason: He's in what?
Teacher: He misbehaved during class and he's now being held in a room for an hour after school.
Jason: I know what detention means. I mean what did he do?
Teacher: He brought an knife to school andβ
Jason: That's illegal?
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
*After detention*
Jason: I thought we talked about exposing your weapons in public.
Damian: That stupid kid started first! It's supposed to be a little paid back.
Jason, sarcastic: So you decided to stab that kid in front of people? Great job. Jason: Next time, do it in some where more private.
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
*Back to the Wayne Manor
Dick: I heard you were in detention today. What on Earth did you do?
Damian: I accidentally poked someone.
Dick, shocked: You stabbed someone?! I told you not to!
Damian: Ok, I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Tim, mocking: Well, not surprised.
Dick: But I confiscated yourββ Jason! You're not supposed to give Dami a goddamn weapon!
Jason: Why not? Back in my days, I always carried a knife with me. It's not a big deal.
Bruce: You What?!
Jason: See? Even the old man didn't know.
Dick, sighs: Don't tell me you've done the same thing Tim.
Tim: Of course not. But I do have a taser. Just in case.
Dick: Oh my god!
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Half the time I'm like, "can we have jason todd media not all about his death"?
Then I realize. If I died I would never shut up about it.
"Can you get up and grab that for me?"- absolutely not. My legs are tired from death.
"Will you go to the store with me?"- leaving the house?!? What if I die AGAIN.
So yeah, anyone who thinks jason talks about his death too much. Be honest. We'd all do the exact same thing.
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