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incorrectgotham · 2 days

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Bruce: We're getting someone new in the group. Tim: Are we stealing them? Damian: New or used? Bruce: Wonderful responses, both of you.

#batman #batman incorrect quotes #batfam #incorrect batman quotes #dc incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #bruce wayne #tim drake #damian wayne #batman memes

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ryemiffie · 2 days

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More quotes from my day as batfam incorrect quotes:

Bruce: ...are you covered in ten gallons of pink gloss nail polish?

Dick: ...

Bruce: ...

Dick: ..no

Bruce: I really want to believe you.

Dick, sighing: ...me too

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puppetmaster13u · 2 hours

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Bruce, having to deal with a meeting: If I politely asked you to cme over and kill me could you?

Tiny Jason: I'd come over and hug you, I don't think I'd kill you-

Tiny Dick, angry over the Last Cookie Fiasco: I'll do it!

#incorrect quotes #batfamily #batman #prompts?#prompts #batfam prompts #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batman quotes #dc #dcu #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason tod #batfam #battinson #assume it's battinson if I use small text for him

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galaxymagitech · 19 days

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Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!

Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!

Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?

Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.

Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?

Jason: …

Bruce: …right?

Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.

Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?

Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!

Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!

Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.

Bruce: *screams incoherently*

Dick: I think you broke him.

#in Gotham saying I want to get a PhD #is equivalent to saying I want to enlist in the army #like we admire your sacrifice please don’t die or go crazy or be evil #either that or announcing that you’re dropping out of high school to start a rock band with the local pot dealer #incorrect batman quotes #batman #dc #dc comics #dcu #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #humor

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91-1lover · 2 months

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What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;

Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?

Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.

Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.

Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go

Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*

Or situation like;

Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?

Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 3 months

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The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

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sodamnbored · 2 months

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Damian, entering the living room: Oh, Drake. I didn’t realise you were here too.

Tim, distracted on his phone on the couch: Yeah, best WiFi around. Keeping busy?

Damian, looking in cupboards and chandeliers for acrobatic older brothers: Looking for Dick.

Tim absently, not looking up from Grindr: Mm, me too.

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headcanonthings · 10 months

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Tim: You know archaic Latin? Jason: I got bored with classical Latin. Tim: You know normal Latin? Jason: Yeah someone from my knitting club taught me. Tim: YOU HAVE A KNITTING CLUB? Jason: You don't know everything about me Replacement. Now do you want a sweater or a scarf?

#jason basically just asking tim to pick back up his stalking hobbie #incorrect quotes #incorrect dcu quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #dcu #batman #batfamily #tim drake #red robin dc #jason todd #red hood

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cardinalcheerio · 3 months

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I imagine that the Batkids go out for food every once in a while.

So there they are all sitting at the restaurant, when dick goes to pay and accidentally uses one of Bruce's cards.

They get back to the cave to bruce freaking out, everyone is like "IDENTITY BREACH AHHHHH" y'know.

And the next day a paper comes out, "Bats steal Brucies Credit Card!"

From then on they use Bruce's cards for snacks in the field and gotham just accepts that

1. Bruce funds the Bats

2. They take it from him

3. Bruce and Batman dated and Batman stole his credit cards and gave them to his kids.

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dickgraysonmybeloved · 4 months

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Jason, eating cereal: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. Tim, who walked out of his bedroom in his house into his kitchen: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

#jason todd #tim drake #dc #dc comics #dcu #dc universe #incorrect quote gen #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect batman quotes

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arguablysomaya · 5 months

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failed step one

#batfam #dc universe #dcu #batman #batfamily #jason todd #batfam memes #DC comics #dc #DC Universe #incorrect dcu #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batkids #1k #5k

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incorrectgotham · 18 hours

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Tim: I'm thinking of doing a haunted house. Like, as a test of courage or something. Jason: What's wrong with the one you live in? Tim: Wh-What-? Jason: Goodnight, Timmy.

#batman #batman incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #jason todd #tim drake #batfam

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ryemiffie · 2 days

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More quotes from my day but as Lego Batman incorrect quotes:

Lego Joker: Me? Evilly scheming an evil scheme in my evil scheme room for evil scheming of evil schemes that I evil scheme in the evil scheme room for evil schemes? I would never scheme of it.

Lego Batman: Fucking liar.

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youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff · 6 months

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Dick, at the police station: hi, i'm here for jason.

officer: last name?

Dick : .....ah. you must be new.

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galaxymagitech · 3 months

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Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

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91-1lover · 2 months

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Dick and Damian- *Fighting using an incredible strategy and hours of training*

Meanwhile

Jason- YEEEET *Throwing Tim at bad guys*

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