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#nightwing incorrect quotes
bat-stuff · 11 months
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Batman: Gotham is quiet tonight
Batman, suspicious: too quiet
Meanwhile five blocks away:
Teen Dick: Swiper no swiping!
Criminal, crying: I'll turn myself in just please stop talking
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ryemiffie · 2 months
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More quotes from my day turned into batman incorrect quotes for your day!
Joker: And now, the time has come for the jaw-dropping final act of the life of the infamous Nightwing!
Nightwing, pulling an uno card out of nowhere: Nice try, uno reverse!
Joker: Aw damn, you've foiled my plot again!
Jason: What?! All he did was pull out an uno card!
Joker: Yeah, an uno reverse card.
Jason: ??
Joker, handing over his weapon to nightwing: Well I suppose I ought to give this to you now.
Jason: You're just gonna give him your weapon?!
Joker: Well of course, those are the rules.
Jason: So if I had just pulled out my trusty uno reverse card back when you were trying to kill me, you'd have just, what? Stopped?
Joker: you had an uno reverse card on you?
Jason: No I didn't have a fucking uno reverse card on me!
Joker: Oh well that's a shame.
Jason: Are you kidding me right now!?
Nightwing: How do you not carry an uno reverse card around with you wherever you go at this point?
Jason: Why the fuck would I!?
Nightwing: Cause we fight these extravagant assholes everyday, they're all wack, of course they abide by uno reverse card rules!
Jason: Well gee, thanks for the heads up!
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cardinalcheerio · 9 months
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Dick: Hey Jay, what do you want for your birthday?
Jason: the jokers head.
Dick:...
Jason:...
Dick:...
Jason:... the limited edition Jane austen book collection would be cool too.
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e-nonsense · 1 year
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Dick: You can't make everyone like you Jason. You're not Y/N.
Jason: Not everyone likes Y/N.
Dick: Who doesn't like Y/N?
Jason: I just meant-
Dick: Names, Jason. I need names
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k2ntoss · 3 months
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operator: 911 what's your emergency?
dick: my wife is going into labor, i don't know what to do
operator: is this her first born?
dick: no, this is her husband
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igotanidea · 1 year
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Batfam incorrect quotes
Y/N: Dick, can I pick your brain on something?
Dick (grinning): only if I can pick you up at 8.
Y/N: .......
Y/N: Was that supposed to be your attempt at flirting with me?
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batcavescolony · 1 month
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*hanging out at Titans Tower*
Dick: do you know what I hate? People acting as if JASON was an angry Robin-
Jason: can you not?
Dick: shut up! I'd say I was angry as Robin, Damian for a bit, Tim a little bit but JASON! JASON?
Jason: I have a rep-
Dick: HE WAS ADORABLE! He said 'Robin gives me magic', he had his little front curls, he used to wrap himself up in his cape so he was just a yellow triangle with legs, he looked like a little duckling!
Jason: *launching himself at Dick* SHUT UP!!!!
Dick: *prying Jason's hands away from his face* HE-
Jason: IGNORE HIM! He's a liar.
Donna: Jason you worked with us as Robin to fight Brother Blood. We know how you were and you were adorable.
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ahfrickenfrick · 1 month
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dick: you can’t just do that, it’s illegal
jason: pft what are you, a cop?
dick: ……
jason: no…
dick: listen- jay it’s-
jason: NO
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fandom-drake · 29 days
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Dick who never ever discusses his own problems with anyone: We are a family!!! We should communicate our issues and feelings!!!
Jason who regularly airs out the family's dirty laundry over various rooftops, warehouses and other parts of Gotham: I'd rather die again!!!
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celaenaeiln · 16 days
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Bird: *whistling*
Dick: *whistling back*
Bird: *whistling harder*
Dick: *copying it*
Bird: *excitedly hopping around and whistling a tune*
Dick: *grinning and copying back*
Bruce: Nightwing, stop that.
Dick: why? We’re just whistling
Bird: *chirping in agreement*
Bruce: *glaring at the bird* such a behavior is a security risk. You’re needed on fourth. *taking off into the night*
Dick: ..??? What was that all about?
Tim: *over comms* Bruce thinks all birds are government spies
Dick: What? That’s dumb!
Tim: …mhmm
Dick: Tim, don’t tell me you believe it too. That’s ridiculous!
Tim:
Tim: ...it has plausible theory!
Dick: ...oh my god Tim.
Bird: *sad chirping noises*
Later
Dick: You know, there's another reason why I know they aren’t government spies.
Tim: and why’s that?
Dick: *holding back his laughter* Because they’re whistleblowers
Tim: ... :0
Tim: oh my god they're whistleblowers
Dick: okay no.
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bat-stuff · 10 months
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Journalist talking to Bruce at a Gala:
Journalist: And your son, Richard, he seems like a sweet boy.
Bruce, sweating: yes hes a very well behaved kid
Meanwhile:
Dick, hanging from the chandelier: if I time it just right, I can drop this cheese slice on that man's head
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ryemiffie · 2 months
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More of me and my bro as bat bros incorrect quotes:
Dick, accidentally clicking the wrong thing on the bat computer: Oh wait, shit, I didn't want you.
Tim, standing ominously behind him: That's what Bruce said when I became Robin.
Dick:
Tim:
Dick: Tim, noo..
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cardinalcheerio · 6 months
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Dick and Jason arrested:
Dick: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
Jason: *side eye* ...what?
Dick: a jail bird...
10 minutes later
Dick: How did the bird break into the house?
Jason: By shutting its mouth, like I recomend you do.
Dick *nods and pulls our ventriloquist dummy*
Jason: for fucks sake where the hell-
Dick: A crow-bar!
Jason breaking his record for uncuffing handcuffs and opening a cell door: i can't with you today
*locks dick back in*
Dick: worth it.
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e-nonsense · 1 year
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Dick: Something brought you here, Y/n. Call it what you will… Fate… Destiny…
Y/n: Bruce.
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Bruce: We need to talk about what’s going on with Tim-
Dick: The stalking?
Bruce: No, we settled that-
Jason: His cloning experiments?
Bruce: I thought he stopped that?
Damian: His hit list?
Bruce: What?
Dick: Dami, we’ve already talked about this it wasn’t a “HIT list” hit list- Is this about his spleen?
Bruce: spleen?
Jason: No it’s gotta be the-
Bruce: This was about his weed stash but I’m sensing there are more pressing issues I’ve not been made aware of?
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lustwithoutlore · 4 months
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After a mission…
Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.
Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?
Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.
Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.
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