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bat-stuff · 11 months

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Batman: Gotham is quiet tonight

Batman, suspicious: too quiet

Meanwhile five blocks away:

Teen Dick: Swiper no swiping!

Criminal, crying: I'll turn myself in just please stop talking

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ryemiffie · 2 months

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More quotes from my day turned into batman incorrect quotes for your day!

Joker: And now, the time has come for the jaw-dropping final act of the life of the infamous Nightwing!

Nightwing, pulling an uno card out of nowhere: Nice try, uno reverse!

Joker: Aw damn, you've foiled my plot again!

Jason: What?! All he did was pull out an uno card!

Joker: Yeah, an uno reverse card.

Jason: ??

Joker, handing over his weapon to nightwing: Well I suppose I ought to give this to you now.

Jason: You're just gonna give him your weapon?!

Joker: Well of course, those are the rules.

Jason: So if I had just pulled out my trusty uno reverse card back when you were trying to kill me, you'd have just, what? Stopped?

Joker: you had an uno reverse card on you?

Jason: No I didn't have a fucking uno reverse card on me!

Joker: Oh well that's a shame.

Jason: Are you kidding me right now!?

Nightwing: How do you not carry an uno reverse card around with you wherever you go at this point?

Jason: Why the fuck would I!?

Nightwing: Cause we fight these extravagant assholes everyday, they're all wack, of course they abide by uno reverse card rules!

Jason: Well gee, thanks for the heads up!

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cardinalcheerio · 9 months

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Dick: Hey Jay, what do you want for your birthday?

Jason: the jokers head.

Dick:...

Jason:...

Dick:...

Jason:... the limited edition Jane austen book collection would be cool too.

#batfam headcanons #bat family #batfam #batfamily #bat brothers #jason todd #dick grayson #red hood #tim drake #incorrect batfamily #jason and dick #incorrect jason todd #jason todd headcanon #jason peter todd #incorrect red hood quotes #red hood incorrect quotes #incorrect nightwing #nightwing incorrect quotes #nightwing

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e-nonsense · 1 year

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Dick: You can't make everyone like you Jason. You're not Y/N.

Jason: Not everyone likes Y/N.

Dick: Who doesn't like Y/N?

Jason: I just meant-

Dick: Names, Jason. I need names

#jason todd x reader #dick grayson x reader #y/n incorrect quotes #red hood incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #nightwing incorrect quotes #red hood x reader #nightwing x reader

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k2ntoss · 3 months

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operator: 911 what's your emergency?

dick: my wife is going into labor, i don't know what to do

operator: is this her first born?

dick: no, this is her husband

#⭒ brain rot ⭒#dick grayson incorrect quotes #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x fem!reader #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x you #dick grayson fluff #dick grayson #nightwing fluff #nightwing incorrect quotes #dc comics incorrect quotes #dc comics reader insert #dc comics imagine #dc comics

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igotanidea · 1 year

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Batfam incorrect quotes

Y/N: Dick, can I pick your brain on something?

Dick (grinning): only if I can pick you up at 8.

Y/N: .......

Y/N: Was that supposed to be your attempt at flirting with me?

#dc incorrect quotes #dc #batfamily incorrect quotes #batboys x you #batboys x y/n #batboys incorrect quotes #dick Grayson #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect dcu #batboys x reader #batfamily x reader #incorrect quotes #nightwing #batboys x reader incorrect quotes #nightwing incorrect quotes #dick grayson incorrect quotes

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batcavescolony · 1 month

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*hanging out at Titans Tower*

Dick: do you know what I hate? People acting as if JASON was an angry Robin-

Jason: can you not?

Dick: shut up! I'd say I was angry as Robin, Damian for a bit, Tim a little bit but JASON! JASON?

Jason: I have a rep-

Dick: HE WAS ADORABLE! He said 'Robin gives me magic', he had his little front curls, he used to wrap himself up in his cape so he was just a yellow triangle with legs, he looked like a little duckling!

Jason: *launching himself at Dick* SHUT UP!!!!

Dick: *prying Jason's hands away from his face* HE-

Jason: IGNORE HIM! He's a liar.

Donna: Jason you worked with us as Robin to fight Brother Blood. We know how you were and you were adorable.

#jason todd #comics #dc comics #robin #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #nightwing #teen titans #donna troy #troya #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam

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ahfrickenfrick · 1 month

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dick: you can’t just do that, it’s illegal

jason: pft what are you, a cop?

dick: ……

jason: no…

dick: listen- jay it’s-

jason: NO

#dc comics #dc #batbros #batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #nightwing #red hood #or #jason todd robin #batman #dc robin #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes

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fandom-drake · 29 days

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Dick who never ever discusses his own problems with anyone: We are a family!!! We should communicate our issues and feelings!!!

Jason who regularly airs out the family's dirty laundry over various rooftops, warehouses and other parts of Gotham: I'd rather die again!!!

#batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batbros #jason todd #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing

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celaenaeiln · 16 days

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Bird: *whistling*

Dick: *whistling back*

Bird: *whistling harder*

Dick: *copying it*

Bird: *excitedly hopping around and whistling a tune*

Dick: *grinning and copying back*

Bruce: Nightwing, stop that.

Dick: why? We’re just whistling

Bird: *chirping in agreement*

Bruce: *glaring at the bird* such a behavior is a security risk. You’re needed on fourth. *taking off into the night*

Dick: ..??? What was that all about?

Tim: *over comms* Bruce thinks all birds are government spies

Dick: What? That’s dumb!

Tim: …mhmm

Dick: Tim, don’t tell me you believe it too. That’s ridiculous!

Tim:

Tim: ...it has plausible theory!

Dick: ...oh my god Tim.

Bird: *sad chirping noises*

Later

Dick: You know, there's another reason why I know they aren’t government spies.

Tim: and why’s that?

Dick: *holding back his laughter* Because they’re whistleblowers

Tim: ... :0

Tim: oh my god they're whistleblowers

Dick: okay no.

#dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #bruce wayne #batman #batfam incorrect quotes

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bat-stuff · 10 months

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Journalist talking to Bruce at a Gala:

Journalist: And your son, Richard, he seems like a sweet boy.

Bruce, sweating: yes hes a very well behaved kid

Meanwhile:

Dick, hanging from the chandelier: if I time it just right, I can drop this cheese slice on that man's head

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ryemiffie · 2 months

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More of me and my bro as bat bros incorrect quotes:

Dick, accidentally clicking the wrong thing on the bat computer: Oh wait, shit, I didn't want you.

Tim, standing ominously behind him: That's what Bruce said when I became Robin.

Dick:

Tim:

Dick: Tim, noo..

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cardinalcheerio · 6 months

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Dick and Jason arrested:

Dick: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jason: *side eye* ...what?

Dick: a jail bird...

10 minutes later

Dick: How did the bird break into the house?

Jason: By shutting its mouth, like I recomend you do.

Dick *nods and pulls our ventriloquist dummy*

Jason: for fucks sake where the hell-

Dick: A crow-bar!

Jason breaking his record for uncuffing handcuffs and opening a cell door: i can't with you today

*locks dick back in*

Dick: worth it.

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e-nonsense · 1 year

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Dick: Something brought you here, Y/n. Call it what you will… Fate… Destiny…

Y/n: Bruce.

#y/n incorrect quotes #dick grayson x reader #dc incorrect quotes #nightwing x reader #nightwing incorrect quotes

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 3 months

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Bruce: We need to talk about what’s going on with Tim-

Dick: The stalking?

Bruce: No, we settled that-

Jason: His cloning experiments?

Bruce: I thought he stopped that?

Damian: His hit list?

Bruce: What?

Dick: Dami, we’ve already talked about this it wasn’t a “HIT list” hit list- Is this about his spleen?

Bruce: spleen?

Jason: No it’s gotta be the-

Bruce: This was about his weed stash but I’m sensing there are more pressing issues I’ve not been made aware of?

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #tim drake #red robin #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #red hood #bruce wayne #dc robin #robin #damian wayne #he is SO ground #he’s gonna be UN-emancipated

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lustwithoutlore · 4 months

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After a mission…

Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.

Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?

Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.

Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.

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