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vcnillazelda · 2 years

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maybe it’s my fault

jasper hale x reader

summary: after a misunderstanding, you leave your current relationship in a messy place

tags: getting back together kinda, musician! reader, school dances, slow dancing <3, human! reader, jasper is kinda stupid but we love him anyway, good friend alice <3, based on <maybe> it’s my fault by willow <33, angst with a happy ending

✞———————❖———————✞

jasper was so excited. he was going to hang ot with you today. the two of you had agreed to have a little getaway during the weekend in a secret spot the two of you found. you two had just become established so this was the closest thing to a date the two of you have had. he had your favourite foods and everything. the blonde truly wanted to spoil you.

“i know. he’s so adorable.” he overhears; and jasper freezes. “so you really like him, right? you should totally ditch your plans and go hang out with him.” edward responds. that was weird… you normally barely spoke to edward. was he referring to your date with jasper? his dead heart sinks as he listens closer. “mmm, i dunno.” you sound rather joking. he can hear your heartbeat, it’s pumping fast. “c’mon. it’ll be fun. you two can get to know each other more.” edward advices. “he doesn’t like me like that yet, now shut up. jasper will be here soon.” he furrows his brows, dropping his backpack with a light thud. what were you two talking about? were you cheating on him? jasper can feel the pure adoration in your emotions talking about this mystery person and he wants to scream. taking off, he heads in the opposite direction. so much for that date.

you were so worried. after edward had left, jasper hadn’t turned up at all. you were anxious he might of gotten hurt or had stood you up, you knew he was a little odd but you didn’t think he’d do that. you had blew up his phone, terrified of the worst.

jas??

jaaasssss??

where are you? :(

are you late?

come on silly i miss uuuu

those were left on read; the rest were on delivered.

jas im seriously worried.

are you okay?

did i do something wrong?

im sorry :(

please let me know you’re okay.

i’m so sorry please just let me know if you’re okay

now you were sat up late at 3 am terrified of the worst. had you upset him? did he not love you? was this all a sick joke? was he put up to it? your mind was racing and your heart was hammering. you sob to yourself, slamming your phone down onto your mattress, it bounces and clatters to the floor but you don’t care. curling into a ball, you cry to yourself, clutching your body to attempt to soothe yourself, yet nothing could compare to how jasper held you. sitting up, you snatch your notebook, maybe some songwriting would help you vent.

jasper was now sat in alice’s room. she was looking unimpressed. “you seriously think she’s cheating?” she asks, deadpan. “yes! i overheard her and edward and she was talking about someone else.” alice runs a hand over her face. “alice i’m serious!” jasper whines, his heart was aching. “have you spoken to her?” alice asks, looking at him. “no..?” he mutters. alice gives an exasperated expression. “seriously, jasper? you ghosted her? she’s probably worried sick.” his friend scolds, and jasper sighed. “should i go see her..?”

“yes, dummy! go talk to her. if she is cheating, which i doubt, then you can talk about it; find the truth.” alice gestures to her door and jasper sighs. “alright. you’re right. i’ll talk to her.” he mumbles, getting up. “good. don’t come back until you’re back together. i don’t want my favourite couple breaking up.” alice teases, pinching his arm with her sharp nails. “okay, okay.” jasper smiles a little, leaving his friend’s room.

jasper slips into your home through an unlocked window. he was hoping you were still here and not somewhere being sad. as soon as he walks upstairs, he can feel your presence. it was sad, overwhelmingly sad. carefully, jasper peers into your room. you’re fast asleep, back turned to him, yet your emotions were devastated. stepping into the room and closing your door, jasper rounds your bed, examining you for any signs of distress. you had dried tears upon your face, and jasper sighs. “oh, sweetheart…” he mutters, cold thumb making your face scrunch up as he wipes them away. he glances down, your song book had fallen from your hand, a mess upon the floor.

curiously, jasper scoops it up carefully.

maybe it’s my fault?

scrap song (probably)

rough idea:

met him at a party, i said he seems nice / every time i think about it i get butterflies / and i done told you we agree that he’s alright / never thought i’d be tripping / over the lost time / i said it was fine, laying down six feet under it’s sublime / should of saw the signs / now we’re in a fight

chorus??:

it’s all on my mind, all on my mind / i try to rewind / and all the while / i’m hurting inside / it’s your fault / maybe it’s my fault?

jasper runs his fingers over the ink, smudging it a little. examining the bottom of the page, he spots a smaller piece of writing.

said i can handle this / that was your one request / said i would be there / be there in your distress / instead you just feel dispensed / i don’t know / if i’m worth forgiving.

jasper sighs, closing the book and looking from it to you. you looked so idyllic, so peaceful. carefully, he places the book upon your bedside table, moving around the bed to lay down with you. his arm curls around your waist and you shuffle a little, exhaling calmly. jasper sighs, resting his forehead to the back of your neck. “you okay?” you mutter softly, and jasper hums. “yeah… are you?” he responds. “i’m alright.” that was a lie, he could feel your sadness. “wanna talk about it?” you ask him, and jasper sighs. “yeah… i uh- i overheard you and edward.” you let out a soft ‘oh’. jasper feels ill. “are you… are you cheating on me?” he adds on, voice tiny. “no..! no, of course not. why would you think that?” you ask, and jasper exhales shakily. “i just- i heard edward telling you to ditch your plans and go with some other guy and you sounded so happy-“ he mutters, choking up. rolling over, you hug him back. jasper clings to you, burying his face into your neck.

“jasper, we were talking about you.” you explain, and he feels incredibly stupid. “what..?” he pulls away. your hand gently cups his cheek. “he was telling me to cancel my plans next week so i could do something for you. it was meant to be a surprise but uh… it seems it’s been spoiled.” you smile sheepishly. jasper exhales with relief, all his negative emotions venting from his body. you smile at him a little and your boyfriend immediately snatches your lips in a kiss. your hand slips into his hair, cradling him close. “i would never cheat on you.” you mutter against his lips. “i know- i know, i’m sorry.” jasper responds, kissing you again.

“i really wanted to surprise you next week. i’ll have to get you some other time.” you joke as the two of you finally pull away. “sorry, sweetheart.” jasper smiles, brushing his nose against yours. “it’s okay. i was planning to take you out to the park late at night like some weird picnic type thing. there was gonna be cheesy music and edward was planning on setting it up.” you explain, jasper laughs softly. “thank you for the thought sweetheart. we can still do it considering our actual date has been… ruined.” you smile sadly, kissing his nose gently. “i dunno, jas. the nights still young.” you suggest, sitting up. jasper follows you. “what are you suggesting?” he asks, smiling at you. “come on.” you stand, tugging his cold hand. jasper huffs out a soft laugh.

you pull him flush to your chest, arms wrapping around him. jasper immediately hugs you back, squeezing slightly. “what are we doing?” he asks, voice quiet. “dancing, silly.” you respond, kissing his shoulder. “i see.” jasper chuckles, leaning his head against yours, swaying with you slowly. “this is much more romantic, if i may say so.” you giggle, squeezing him. “we’re like the modern romeo and juliet.” he muses, and you laugh. “totally, except we won’t die at the end.” jasper smiles. “no?” he humours you, and you hum. “no. we’ll have what they couldn’t have.” his heart almost beats again. “and what would that be?” he mutters, kissing your head softly. “a happy life, together. no more stupid situations where one thinks the other is cheating.” you pinch his side playfully. jasper laughs a little. “i’m sorry.”

the two of you stand in silence, relishing the moment with each other. “i love you.” jasper mumbles, you smile. he can feel pure love and adoration radiating off of you. “i love you too.” you respond, yet he already knows that. “i didn’t mean to pry, but i read your song.” he admits and you gasp, gently slapping his back. “peeper.” you smile into his neck. jasper laughs. “it’s beautiful, but i want to assure you that nothing was your fault. i jumped to conclusions. i shouldn’t of ignored you.” jasper closes his eyes, palm slipping into yours. “thank you..” you mumble, and jasper smiles, kissing your head once more. “your feelings were valid too. i would of reacted the same way.” you add on, and jasper exhales through his nose. “i never thought i’d hate anything more than falling out with you.” jasper huffs out a laugh. “i know.” you giggle, squeezing his hand. “i love you.”

#jasper hale #jasper hale x reader #jasper whitlock #jasper whitlock x reader #twilight jasper #jasper cullen #jasper cullen x reader #// 🍨 vcnillazelda #// 🍨 twilight

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tangledinink · 7 months

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Heya! First off I’m around halfway through teenage mutant what now and it is the funniest fic I have ever read - Beautifully written and overall brilliant but the jokes get me every time

And second, is it okay if I reference a pose from one of your gemini artworks for my own work? I’ll credit the inspiration if I post it anywhere ^^

whew we're overdue for an ask dump,,, OKAY ALRIGHT.

THANK YOU ; w ; I'm really glad you like it hehehehe. also yeah sure feel free! I don't mind! ^^

HEHEHE THIS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY THANK YOU

oh he DEFINITELY freaked out at first. there was a lot of panicking and confusion and "how could this even happen?!" ("you think i'd genetically engineer a creature that's not capable of reproducing? all of you should be genetically compatible with practically any yokai," draxum said. "AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO, I DUNNO, TELL US THAT?!" donnie said.) but eventually, he did calm down, and he and his partner talked about it (a bunch, multiple times), and eventually some of the panic gave way to... curiosity, first of all... and then maybe kind of excitement? and some fondness? i mean, he was still pretty scared, and sure, he doesn't really consider himself a 'kid' person, but it's not like he never thought about EVENTUALLY having kids, just maybe... not so soon? but. i mean.

well. if they're already cooking...

THANK YOU ; w ; i'm glad you like them! @kiwi-smug-silvalina

oh gosh, that's a good question. i'm not entirely sure... uhmmm... i would say perhaps... details about how gemini!donnie's witchcraft looks and acts, VS how venus's witchcraft looks and acts...

it is very shiny. i like that people call it "the bean" instead of its actual title coz it pisses anish kapoor off.

ah ; w ; THANK YOU SO MUCH,,, thats so sweet and this made me very happy,,, <3 im glad you liked it!!!! @allegedllama

HEHEHE thank you. yes im aware that i am deranged.

omg same hat!!! i was a lifeguard and it was.... uh.... INTERESTING to say the least... (sometimes lovely, sometimes AWFUL...) @datfearlesschick

if by games you mean 'messed up deals that she can manipulate to her own advantage,' then yes! @frogonamelon

@beannary @spectralsleuth @heckitall @livsinpjs and the sep council as a whole!!! y'all's support has definitely meant so much and there's no way i'd have gotten as far with any of my projects as i have without them... or without literally ANY of the people who take the time to do things like reblog with tags, leave commentary in the tags, send in asks about my stories, etc etc etc! that's definitely one of my main motivators to create more!!! <3 thank y'all!

EEEE this made me smile, hehehehe. thank you :3c @thejavavoid

AAAAAA THANK YOU THIS GENUINELY MADE ME SO HAPPY COZ I WAS SO GODDAMN PROUD OF THOSE HANDS AND HOW THEY CAME OUT ; w ; THANK YOU @onejellyfishplease

thank you!!! u w u @fanrulerjynx

THANK YOU ; w ; I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS,,, it made me very very very happy and HEHEHE IM GLAD YOU LIKE YASSIFIED DRAXUM,,, i just think he DESERVES it, y'know? also thats just my favorite way to draw characters lmao I think it's fun so I decided for this comic I just get to indulge...

not necessarily-- this was mostly just a coincidence! @breezehurricane

oh gosh. i'm not sure, but i know it definitely WILL affect their parenting... i think at first donnie will find himself just... deferring to his partner a LOT in almost any situation because he's afraid that he'll fuck it up, because he DOESN'T feel like he understands proper boundaries or what parenting is supposed to look like, etc etc etc, and he's afraid he'll mess up. he probably reads a TON of parenting books as well because RESEARCH and will often try to pull directly from them in any situation he can, and is confused when things don't go exactly the way they were described in the text... leo i think kind of tends to flounder between being overprotective and feeling the desire to protect his son from everything and anything and wanting to overcorrect this tendency by pulling back and trying to give him as much freedom and space as possible, which sometimes leads to some... inconsistencies. there's definitely a learning curve for both of them, but they both get the hang of it eventually. they both have lovely partners and a very loving and supportive family to help them and they'll figure it out with a bit of practice.

ahhh thank you! :D im so delighted that my silly stories actually inspired something for you!!! hell yeah!!! MAKING THINGS IS GREAT!!! THANK YOU!!! @can-elope

i like to imagine them all staying very close, especially coz i'm loosely planning on them all going through the kraang-apocalypse together (and then coming through to the other side!) so i can't imagine them ever drifting too far from each other, emotionally or geographically. there's a bit of a rocky start for a lot of them, but all of the siblings end up a very tight-knit bunch.

#asks #ask dump #anon

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gooseagain8 · 8 months

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If you still wanna talk about your fangan ocs, I’d love to hear more about your ultimate tailor?

YESSS YESSS OKAY SO

I GOTTA RUSH THIS CAUSE SCHOOL STARTS SOON BUT LEMME HAVE THIS

Kim Eun-ae is someone who struggles a lot with their identity. He first used to be a man who crossdressed because he loved it, but I thought about it more n I dunno

Sure, they look beautiful and cute. They love looking and being the way they are, but at the end of the day, all they see is the mirror is a man. "Cross dressing is just my hobby. This is all I am at the end of it anyway." They don't see a beautiful woman or anything. They love how people "mistake" them for a woman, and he wonders, "How do people see me like that when I can't?"

Even I'm not sure whether to refer to them as male or female, so right now refer to them as however you'd like

As the character I made for the sin, Lust, it's seriously not what you think it is. Eun-ae loves dresses and making all sorts of bizarre outfits because it makes them feel good, they love dressing up and looking pretty

They love looking like a whole different person. Someone unrecognizable, someone who stands out

That's what Lust is to me and to this character, if that makes sense. Just doing something that you love and makes you feel all good and happy inside

Without all these things, Eun-ae is just some guy you'd see anywhere. His design would be purposefully bland and basic

He hates it, but that's just reality, isn't it? At least he gets moments of happiness being all dressed up before looking right back at the bathroom mirror before bed

OKAY I THINK THATS ALL I CAN WRITE ABOUT THEM I KINDA ADDED SOME OF MY FEELINGS INTO THIS CHARACTER SO THATS SOMETHINF

Eun-ae puts more thought and care into their customers, to really make them satisfied and happy with themselves

To make his customers feel great so they won't have to think the way he does about himself

I DUNNO IF THIS MAKES SENSE BUT DECHIPER IT OR SOMETHING IM JUST TYPING OUTTA MY FEELINGS FOR THIS CHARACTER

OKY BYE

#dr: miracle event #dr: mira #fangan oc #about ocs #oc #my oc stuff

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leafcabbage · 2 months

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Oi I'm back from the grave dunno if you'll remember me, I'm that one person who named a jelly lizard after your fanfic pogona.

I just came back to check in with like blog and stuff and I wanted to say hi but then I saw your blogs name, are you ok? Sending you lots of hugs mate. I would send another big thread of happy pictures and stuff to try and cheer you up but the browser version on this thing barely lets me type let alone upload stuff, so for now I'll just tell a pun and send you hugs :D

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean.

Why did a scarecrow get a proportion? Because he was outstanding in his field.

I dunno anymore that can stand the language barrier and make sense sorry.

Also I booped you I have no clue what that does but a cat paw appeared so I hope that's good.

Hope you doing good, wish I could have interacted more with your posts and make more asks but this january I started new therapy and learned I'm neurodivergent, so I was busy and I also took off most of my social media. That and that I am getting ready for college entry. I'm thinking of making a new tumblr account at some point close and when that happens I'll be able to say hi more :D I

Ohhh and jelly pogona is fine but now I can't get them out of the ball cuz they will melt. They are still a good lizard tho

hi! i definitely remember you :] im glad to hear from you again! i hope life's been treating you alright and that college entry goes well! and its always good to hear that jelly pogona is doing fine :]

thank you for the puns, i enjoyed them! my blog title is in reference to a quote from one of my favorite book series of all time: The Protector of the Small by Tamora Pierce. in it, one character, Neal, says "either ive turned stupid, or life's turned hard!" and i love that quote and man do i relate to it. lately it has felt though as though life has indeed turned hard. im sure ill figure it all out though, i always have before!

thanks for the boop and for the ask, i appreciate it :D

#space-mothkid #cabbage answers

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kingzephy · 2 years

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Man. I just keep thinking about Dead Souls and how much I fucking love it. Im just gonna ramble about it under the cut

Im not finished w it yet im almost finished but. Its so criminally underrated and it sucks that it hasnt gotten a proper good localization or port that isnt janky and laggy. I dont regret buying or playing it in the slightest.

Yeah its absolutely got some issues and I could talk about them for a long time, but it scratches this itch for me that I just cant explain well. I love it. I love cheesy campy media thats so bad its good which is honestly a big reason why i like it. It doesnt take itself too seriously at all. In a way it almost reminds me of some games I grew up playing, like re4 and house of the dead in a sense. Its really nothing like those games but you know what I mean

I actually dont mind the controls too much (though to be fair I had to switch to the type b control scheme and that feels better to me). Not being able to do the auto aim and walk at the same time doesnt bother me as much as i thought it was going to but it’s probably cuz im used to that from re4. Thankfully theres multiple aiming modes which makes up for that and you can walk around with the strafe aiming which is actually mostly accurate and feels good to use

Some of the weapons like Majima’s shotgun or Ryuji’s gatling gun especially are really satisfying. Even if theres a few enemies in particular that drive me insane (the monkey boys and especially the molotov cocktail zombies are so annoying they are the bane of my existence) overall i dont have too many issues w the combat aside from. Heat snipes being difficult to trigger sometimes, the auto aim can be a little glitchy every now and then, and occasionally getting overwhelmed by hoards of zombies but thankfully theres good weapons and attacks for that. I like that they included shit like chainsaws and flamethrowers

I love all the characterization they squeeze in for Majima and Ryuji especially, Its always great getting to play as Majima of course and I kinda think hes at his best in this game in some ways for several reasons, despite the weird localization. Hes just out there living his best life and I love that for him. Its good getting to see him like. Actually kinda happy for once. Its always nice getting to see him interact with characters like Akiyama. AND it was good getting to see more Akiyama and Hana together ofc

I really love the hostess conversations and the nonchalant and casual banter, I eat that shit right up. So much interesting dialog. I really enjoy the substories quite a bit, some of them more than others but i love how they poke fun at certain tropes. Theres a few real stand out ones. The main story is enjoyable and funny in a ridiculous way, even if the pacing can be weird and the plot is objectively not done well but I love it anyway for its cheesy edginess. Theres a few scenes that have really stuck with me. I think its funny how a lot of the citizens are in denial or are straight up just unaware of the outbreak and act like life goes on like normal which is something that I think. Aged well. Given the current state of the world rn

As a fan of other survival horror games its fun seeing the very obvious references to other games and such (L4D, RE, etc). I like getting to see Kamurocho in a state of complete disarray, I think the idea of separating the unaffected areas and the quarantine zones is smart and a cool idea so theres not constant zombies everywhere, the game gives you a bit of reprieve (even if it means theres some backtracking and taking the long way around things sometimes). I like how the zones move and change over time as the story progresses and more areas get infected.

Anyway. I dont really care if a piece of media is objectively good as long as Im personally having a good time and having fun w it and I can definitely say Ive had fun. If I wasnt a yakuza fan I can tell you for a fact I would not like this game but. I dunno. I am not immune to its charm. If youre a big yakuza fan and you haven’t played it I recommend at least checking it out on an emulator or something

#my stuff #yakuza #this is barely coherent i just have a lot of thoughts about this game

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noendsonlymeans · 5 months

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i just have some thoughts to dump .

youtube

i first heard of wednesday a few years ago and "fate is..." was definitely in my top 5 most listened to songs on spotify in 2021 or 22. i didnt know til recent that mj lenderman was a member and didnt know til like yesterday that they might be even better (to me!!!!!).

my first full listen to their live album they put out in later 2023 was yesterday and it changed things for me. embarrassingly enough i only took interest in tyler childers a few months ago. after this neocountry ( i know thats not what its actually called ) awakening within me ive been on a quest to find a good country sounding band that fused with my other genres of interest well. like better than pinegrove well. a honky tonk shoegaze project would be an incredible thing to stumble on, though no im not sure how its going to work with time keeping and all that whatever, no ones proven to make it happen since. but mj is the closest i have ever gotten.

about halfway through the album, i was able to identify something about mjl's familiar vocal... cadence? and place it with neil young. from referencing dylan, john daly, rodeo clowns, michael jordan, tom brady, jack nicholson, jackass, and rust on a grill left in the rain, american citizenship and our often borderline-unbelievable and ever-entertaining popular culture in the digital age help define mjl's sound, especially on this combination of previous releases. from ethel introducing gen z coastals to dale sr. to realtree camo being in casual rotation in an urbanites closet for work or dive hopping, americas "middle" aesthetics are becoming more recognized and thus more commodified. as someone raised in the rural midwest to now residing in the urban midwest, the sudden "trendiness" of articles of clothing or topics of conversation that used to embarrass you if your dad sported either in public, is both affirming and maddening. if you have ever been to a meat raffle, if the deer and fishing openers were treated like holidays in your hometown, or if youve ever resided at a residence within 1 mile of a "trump store", then you know there is a certain valor that comes with it. it wasnt pleasant. it wasnt comfortable. but it was something you did, you survived, and you still probably feel like home there. im getting incredibly off topic and wil probably revisit this concept in a seperate manor........

anyways all that above is to be said because i need you all to know that i do recognize the sin i am committing in this next statement which is to refer mjl's voice with noneother than ontarian neil young. their tenor-ish ranges, along with each of their tendencies to undermix in favor of a raw, though mjl isnt pushing any major life lessons or reflecting on their 20s in any of this album (yet).

knockin, the second track, is where i officially got hooked. i love bob dylan. i love obscure interpolations used within songs. but the only other artist to reference a lyric as common as "knocking on heavens door" that comes to mind IMMEDIATELY is lana, and mjl did it complete justice. on similar note, rudolph was able to become a highlight for me for, once again, a dylan interpolation.

screaming "you are very girl to me!" doesnt have the same affect as passively referring to a love gone as simply "a sunday", but mjl's lyrics immediately reminded me of a few childers lyrics. i cant help but think these asheville guys are childers fans due to the addition of the cover of 'long black veil'. yeah sure its a classic country!, but mjl's lyricism suggests to me that this is more of a reference to a reference, of course referring to "jersey giant" (ORIGINALLY BY TYLER CHILDERS).

dunno how to wrap these. i was just so so impressed with this album and happy i finally bit the bullet and took the internets suggestion to give them a chance.

8.5/10, id like to listen to their discog and hear the studio versions of each song as well.

#mj lenderman #wednesday #music #emo #country #shoegaze #twang #writing #blog #review #album review #im trying to listen to albums again and this is a fun way to stay accountable #itll be snappier next time i prom prom #Youtube

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lostacelonnie · 10 months

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Gotta keep that hope around for sure i will keep my fingers crossed for you. Oh that is a win win i gotta remember that, i say as if adhd wont make me forget. I usually just look for em to see like. What kinds are around. Whole ones. Broken ones. Weird shapes. Its interesting. Dont take any with me though. That. Makes me wonder how they teach english over there. Honestly yeah i look for a name in the bio or just. Shorthand the username somehow because i gotta have some way to refer to people. I havent used a bio in years so people use my username all the time. Oooh norway i have always wanted to go there. I dont camp as much as id like to but i should more tbh. I have seen her stacks & i gotta say. Clara is wild cant believe i let her sit unused. I dunno how much ill get but im gonna for sure be savin as i can. I think that one is last yeah. I am always interested at the start but fade by the end because the new stuff always slows down. Same ive been playing indies more like gris & obra dinn. To try & branch out. Good story annoying exploration is chasm in a nutshell yeah. True big cities be like that. I live in a smaller one now so very little happens. Mine hold dye decently well which i appreciate. Just wish we had true permanent dye. Maybe one day. Thats how i am with nail polish i always get it on the sides & mess up but ive gotta just. Be patient & let myself learn. Happy 1.2 star rail update

sorry for the late reply shfjglk i truly have no excuse other than "i was holed up in my room in an attempt to avoid interaction with my grandma but i accidentally also avoided interaction with Everyone Else" so im. So sorry ab that. COMING BACK hehe thankies!! if things go wrong i guess ill just move out for a while and then come back Suspiciously A Different Gender. nobodys gonna know. but yeah good luck on remembering that shdjfk!! and ahh thats fair i just usually visit pretty big beaches so theres not many around by the time i get there. english is taught just so you know the language but following the education system without external classes will get you a2 knowledge At Best and its getting worse with each year so. lol. and yeah frfr i use usernames as names alllll the time...... norway is very fun i recommend it!! esp if you prefer colder climates like i do. ahhh understandable!! i dont actually. own a tent but as i said, maybe one day. id rather go with friends tho which is a problem in on itself cos i dont have that many friends that actually know each other. unless i go with my photo camp friends. thats an Idea actually. YEAH CLARA IS GREAT.... i unfortunately dont have her quite built [terrible relic luck...... plus ive been more focused on trying to prepare for kafka recently] but seeing as shes my main [despite having jing yuan] i Will get her better stuff someday. i have 140 pulls rn so im equally nervous as i am excited. yeah it really Is like that bc im always paranoid ab spoilers so i always do at least the new story as fast as i can. except for right now as i still havent played the new honkai chapter [but tbf my game only managed to download the update yesterday, 3 days after the launch of 6.8] and i honestly dont have the energy to do it today so maybe tomorrow. ah that sounds fun!! i came back to minecraft recently idk why but ive been having a Great time. after 130 in-game days i am finally no longer homeless. and oh when i get older id like to move to a smaller city [since i like having things close but dont like having drama all the time] but im still thinking ab where. ah thats cool...... i tried looking for the dye that i used on camp but couldnt find it. rip. and yeah same tbh thats why i never paint my nails. and yeah happy star rail 1.2 o)-( i like the double planar ornament event since thats the only thing im missing for kafkas things......

#but at least it turns out that when im sealed away in my room im also extremely productive in drawing and writing #asks #pen pals

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corpsentry · 3 years

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january: an art retrospective

i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)

so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.

at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.

january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.

january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:

on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests

the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th

this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.

january 11th. applied sketch

january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i

bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes

i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.

sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start

january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit

more applied studies

on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real

january 19th. i’m working on it.

january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.

january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud

january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned

26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies

january 1st. january 31st

The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)

ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings

FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????

here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.

the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)

take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.

or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?

so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.

this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.

here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages

and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.

this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.

this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.

thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end

#my stuff

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ssamie · 3 years

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thirteen. “til death do us part”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide, jumping off a bridge ;-; (nobody dies tho)

masterlist. suicide freak!

"well what happened afterwards??" kuroo asked kenma

the boys were in kenma's room chilling and playing games while kenma tells kuroo about his confession "uh.. nothing really" kenma said with a sigh

"she didn't respond but she didn't really reject me either" he said "she had a call from her agency saying they needed her for something and she had to leave"

kuroo was visibly disappointed at the result, patting his friend's back as he let out a sigh "well, like you said, she technically didn't reject you" he said "plus, she's been fawning over you for a long time. im pretty sure she likes you back"

kenma furrowed his brows and shrugs. "sure i guess.." the pudding head muttered

"cmon, kenma! don't get all sulky on me now!" kuroo exclaimed. the boy laid back on the bed and pulled out kenma's phone, placing it between them and began counting

"ten.. nine.. eight..seven.. six.."

"what the hell are you doing?" kenma deadpanned "im counting down the seconds it takes before y/n tells you to meet up or something" kuroo explained

".. five.. four.. three.."

"im pretty sure it doesn't work like that-" he was cut off by the loud ringing of the phone. the caller id was shown, revealing it to be y/n herself. kuroo jumps up and cheers, yelling and howling in happiness as he ruffles kenma's hair

"kenma, i told you!!" kuroo exclaimed excitedly "dude, i should be a fucking psychic"

"no, you shouldn't"

kenma picks up the phone with shaky hands. he sends kuroo a wary glance, who simply gave him a thumbs up in return. his trembling fingers answered the call, and then pressed the phone to his ear

"h-hello? y/n?"

"kenma! how's my favourite pudding-head doing? ow-" she asked

kenma furrowed his brows as he heard her wincing from the other line, undoubtedly from pain. "um.. are you okay?" he asks worriedly

"oh yes, of course i am" she answered way too quickly for it to not be suspicious "but i do need your help for something.. come to the same bridge from last night" she said in a serious tone

kenma gulped as he made various frantic gestures to kuroo, silently asking for his help. though kuroo was no help since all he did was smile blankly while holding up two thumbs up

"um, okay! do i go there now or..?"

"yup! bye-bye ~"

kenma then let himself drop to the ground as soon as the call ended. he felt like turning into a puddle and drying up from the nervousness flowing through his whole body at the moment

"k-kuroo.." he mumbled "dude, you okay?" kuroo asked with a chuckle "like i said, y/n is definitely responding to the confession!"

"yeah okay-" kenma grumbled

"but please help me up. 80% of my nervousness is now in my knees. i can't stand."

kenma nuzzled his nose into his hoodie, covering half of his face as he nervously approached the riverbank. like he said beforehand, his nervousness has traveled down to his knees and it seems that it still hasn't left.

"hey hey hey ~ over here, kenma!" she yelled

kenma looked up to see her waving her arm around like a madman. though, one of her arms were in a sling, and she just looked quite roughed out more than usual

he jogged over to her with a frown while eyeing her obvious injuries "hey, what what happened to you?" kenma asked her

"oh this? this is nothing" she said with a laugh "i somehow broke it during a mission last night, but not to worry, the ever so lovely yosano-san cured me" she laughed nervously

"ah yes.. yosano-san.." she shuddered

it left kenma thinking of what could have possibly been so bad about getting cured. though he left it be and paid no mind.

"so why did you call me?" he asked her. he was feeling quite anxious at the moment and he was feeling very thankful that she wasn't acting indifferent towards him

"well, i called you over for multiple things" she said

"firstly.."

kenma gulped as she paused dramatically, leaving him to anticipate whatever it is that she has to say

"i need you to play this game for me so i can pretend to be better than chuuya." she stated with a straight face. she then handed him her phone, which had the game's chat open and had chuuya laughing and teasing her

chuuya's messages consisted of 'you're such a fucking loser' and 'you suck balls' among others.

"what?" kenma sweat dropped

"please! that munchkin will get too happy if he wins one more time!" she pleaded

kenma sighed but did as he was told. he was playing the game while she watched him with sparkling eyes "kenma! you're a lifesaver!" she exclaimed once she had won the game

"could you imagine me losing to chuuya?!" she scoffed out with a grin "gosh! my ego wouldn't be able to handle such torture!"

"now, secondly.." she paused once again "eat this ramen with me!"

kenma sweat dropped as she had randomly pulled out two cup ramens, which for some reason are both hot and in well condition

"where did you even get that?" kenma asked her with a soft laugh

"that's a secret! but did you know-" she mused "the reason i got this for us is because ranpo-san told me about it. apparently, its a 'deathly spicy ramen' and he wanted to refer it to me"

kenma blinked at her but smiled anyways "wow. so then im assuming you're expecting us to die from this?"

"its worth a shot!" she cheered. she handed him chopsticks and sent him a cocky grin "i'll let you know i can handle spicy food quite well"

"so if all else fails, i packed a ghost pepper just in case-"

"please put the pepper away <3"

kenma sighed as he reluctantly ate the ramen, slurping on the noodles and soup as tears brimmed his eyes "im not very good with spicy food.." he muttered as he fanned his mouth

"finish it!!" she exclaimed, though tears has also brimmed her eyes

"you're in the brink of tears too!" he groaned in agitation

"these are tears of happiness! i can almost taste the death looming over us!" she exclaimed with a grin

after finishing the very spicy ramen, she had unfortunately concluded that it was, in fact, not deadly. in the end, the pair had to run to a nearby food stall to buy some drinks

and as they were drinking, y/n had once again perched herself onto the flat surface of the metal railings, letting her feet dangle as they watched the sunset in peace

"y/n.. about last night.." kenma muttered out nervously

"ah yes, your confession?" she chuckled "no need to worry about that. i already know what im gonna say.."

kenma blinked in shock, frantically averting his eyes from her and to the ground as he felt his anxiety rocketing

"which brings me to my third reason of calling you over.." she said "kenma, there's something i need to tell you" she said

her expression had gone aloof and the playful smile on her lips has now faltered "what is it?" he gulped

she took two steps back as she looked him in the eyes. her (e/c) orbs not seeming to give any hints as she peered at him

"y/n.. if you're gonna reject me then-" he was, of course, cut off once again as she suddenly pulled her 'injured' arm out of her sling and popped it out to wave at him

"boo!" she cooed out with a dumb smile

"what the hell." kenma replied as he blankly stared at her

she laughed and slipped the sling off, folding it neatly before casually throwing it down the bridge "did i have you fooled?" she chuckled "anyways.. about that statement you didn't get to finish.." she hummed

"what makes you think i would reject you?" she asked him

her bandaged hand patted the spot next to her, indicating that she wanted him to sit. following her wishes, kenma hesitantly sat next to her.

he was fiddling with his fingers as a huge and overbearing wave of silence washed upon them. fortunately for him, she wasn't looking so she couldn't see his trembling body, and the nervous look on his face

"well, i kind of assumed you don't like me since.. you kinda left me hanging last night.." kenma muttered

"hm, i did do that.." she hummed back quietly "what would you do if i said i liked you back?" she asked him

kenma couldn't see it, but it seemed he could basically feel her cheeky smile appearing "um.." he stammered

what would he do? he didn't really know. he didn't plan that far ahead. and kuroo was nowhere to give him some awful but doable advice.

"i-i don't know.." he stuttered out. kenma could feel himself heating up. its like his cheeks was on fire as he felt bursts of embarrassment and butterflies banging on his stomach.

"would you kiss me?" she mused

kenma froze up. he looked up at her, face beet red and eyes as wide as saucers, as he mumbled incoherent words

"well- no? i don't really know how to do that-" he stammered "or yeah- if you want- or um- i love you."

she chuckled and slowly faced him with a gentle smile "i love you too, then" she laughed

kenma has officially blown a fuse.

his face exploded into a bright red as he felt all the weight of the pressure and anxiety leave his body

"so, do i get my kiss now?" she asked teasingly

"uh well-" kenma muttered with a sheepish smile "i dunno how-"

he was cut off by a hand grabbing a tuft of his hair from his nape. her fingers tugged on his faux blonde locks as she pulled his face closer to his

"itadakimasu~" she cooed out

kenma.exe has stopped working.

once her lips had pressed onto his, his whole body tensed up. though a total contrast to his reaction, she was quite calm. obviously calm enough to shove her tongue down his throat.

their kiss was short but sensual. he took notice of how deliciously addicting her tongue danced against his. he definitely needed to ask where she got all those kissing skills from later on.

he may not like the answer since it was from chuuya, but let's not get into that..

she pulled away after a minute, her grip on his hair loosening as she pressed one last peck on his parted lips. she backed away and licked her lips to tease him.

"oh my" she cooed at him "if i would've known you taste this good, then i would've kissed you much sooner"

"u-umm.." kenma muttered bashfully

he was blinking sluggishly as his fingers lightly graze his lips, reminiscing in the feeling of hers against it.

"y/n.. will you be my girlfriend?... please?" he asked in a quiet and flustered tone. all the nonexistent confidence he had before has now fully evaporated away.

"of course." she mused

"wait-really??" kenma asked her with a look of disbelief and sheer happiness

he bit back a smile as he looked up to look at the setting sun, then back at her. her features were illuminated by the soft golden rays, making her look simply ethereal, atleast to him.

kenma was then brought back into reality as he felt the soft skin of her hand and the textured bandages touch his.

she intertwined their hands and brought it up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. she chuckled at him as he turned his head to the side, trying to hide his blush from her.

"til death do us part." she grinned

"okay, that was very sweet.. but when it comes from you, it kinda seems like you're about to kill us both-"

without uttering another word, she pushed herself off from the railings she was sat on, and tugged him along with her.

"y-y/n?! y/n!" kenma shrieked as he felt himself free falling in the air. his grip on her hand tightened as he nervously recoiled into a ball. the cold air hit his skin in the most nerve wracking way, leaving his skin with goosebumps and shivers tingling down his spine.

"so this is what it's like.." she mumbled

kenma looked over to her, the panic in his eyes gradually fading as he was met with her warm and love-filled orbs. she held the most tranquil and peaceful smile as she looked at him with a sense of joy and plenitude.

"y/n.." his lips quivered as he gripped her closer

she simply smiled at him as both of their hair flew erraticly due to the wind. the sound of the flowing water got louder and louder

until finally, they hit the surface with a huge splash.

she faintly heard loud and ragged breaths coming from kenma as he swims back up for air, hastily paddling against the strong current to drag himself and, her as well, back to land.

"I KNEW IT! ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" he exclaimed once he catched his breath

she laid down on the grassy ground beneath them and closed her eyes. she had a faint smile on her lips as she mumbled under her breath

"double suicide.. im definitely not dying unless it feels like that.." she whispered

kenma's demeanour softened at her words. he laid down beside her with a huff, tucking his wet hair behind his ears and doing the same for her.

"if we're gonna kill each other, atleast tell me first." he sighed "also, drowning is definitely scratched off your list"

"well, you look like you can't swim so.." she chuckled playfully "that's not a valid excuse" kenma sighed, though a fond smile etched itself on his lips

they probably looked quite strange to other's perspectives, if anything, they looked like dead bodies that had washed up to shore.

but they didn't really care.

"also, that was a very weird assumption. do i really look that lanky to you?"

"yes <3"

kissing scenes are so weird to write, or at least for me ;-;

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cloudraker · 2 years

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hi!!! is it ok if i request a platonic tfp matchup? :D take your time ofc!!! i like both sides so i dont mind which u pick!

i'm a minor, pudgy and a little bit on the shorter side, but also very strong!! >:-) i am very unsure of my gender rn but usually i do like to present myself in a feminine way!

i would describe myself as optimistic, cheerful, simple-minded and pretty silly! i do like to have fun and explore cool places, and despite being very shy and awkward around new people, i want to socialize and make new friends!! usually im rather quiet and prefer to listen and observe. im not very good at talking because it makes me nervous so i appreciate when people are ok with that and dont expect me to engage in conversation :^] i like people that are talkative and loud that dont mind if im just looking at them n listening. but!! i also like quiet people that i can just chill and do fun stuff with in silence, like draw or watch the clouds!! unfortunately, i am a big people pleaser and the mere thought of someone disliking me makes me very sad, so i sometimes get into uncomfy situations just because i couldnt say no. also i really dont like when people yell at me– it sounds like a pointless information but i dunno its . important to me i guess. i cry easily

i really like cute and happy things but i love scary things too >:) horror movies are my favorite and im really interested in dark and supernatural cases!! im a little desensitised to gore and irl disasters but paradoxically im very skittish and jumpy. im also kinda stupid and naive so i believe every silly little thing

i like to draw, paint, sew (i make plushies!!), play the piano, collect pretty shiny things and give them to my friends as gifts! i am a very curious person, and when i find something cool (like a leaf, rock, shell, etc) i pick it up right away and show it off!! i also like to (gently!!) pick up tiny bugs and caterpillars and show them to others, cause i love insects a lot :-) i try my best to be always kind and polite to everyone, including all the cool creatures of this planet! i rarely get angry or show dislike to anyone and most of the time i go by the "treat everyone nicely because u dont know what they went through" thing. HOWEVER i do like to joke about fighting god, world domination, etc though it's all in good fun. i find it amusing when people actually believe i could be a threat to them x)

so yea. im just a silly little dude!! ty for reading all of this and i hope u have a wonderful day/night!! i love all of ur works sm! ^_^

💐 <- flowers for u !!!!

Ahh thank you so much for the flowers!! Sorry for the wait, I hope this is okay <3

I match you with...

Smokescreen!

continued below the cut :)

The two of you have similar personalities, so you two get along easily! Even if you’re shy at the start, that won’t be a problem, he’s got you covered! He can easily do all the talking at the start, firing of questions and asking you about yourself while also talking about himself in ways that are probably bragging, but he’s so excited it’s hard to care

If you’re ever in a mood where you don’t wanna do a lot of talking, he’s easily able to fill the silence with stories or idle chatter

He's always down to explore new places with you when he's not on a mission or patrol duty,

While you have trouble saying no to others, he certainly doesn’t if it’s on your behalf and he rarely, if ever, will hesitate to step in if somebody is obviously asking something of you that’s making you uncomfortable

He thinks it’s super cool that you can do all of these artsy things, and he’d be ecstatic if you showed him anything you made! The finer points may be lost on him, but he still appreciates art when he sees it, his time as a guard in the Iacon Hall of Records taught him that the finer arts are nothing to scoff at

He’s happy to pose if you ever need a reference, and brings back anything cool he finds while he’s out if he thinks it’s something you’d find inspiration in

If you give him a cool rock, he’d be a little confused, but if you explain that it’s something you do with your friends, he’d be really touched! You like him enough to give him a gift, and he’s determined to reciprocate. Whatever he gives you is gonna be something meaningful, maybe not something grand or expensive, but something you can look at and smile

He’s always down for a movie night! Oh, you picked out a horror movie? Of course he isn’t scared! He’s just shifting closer to make sure YOU don’t get scared! yeah, that’s it...

#matchups #smokescreen #tfp

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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

#danny phantom #dp thoughts #sanchoyorambles

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calpalsworld · 3 years

Note

Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

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magnusgoetia · 3 years

Text

Transcript of a Sinner’s Conversation: A Meeting with Caecus

--Begin (In Medias Res)--

Sinner: You kiddin'? Dyin' was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Caecus: There’s nothing you left behind? No family to miss?

Sinner: My family? Fuck 'em, I'd ‘ave hired 'elp to kill 'em already if it meant they'd be dead-dead, and I wouldn't have to spend time wiv 'em down 'ere. It wouldn't be right for me to force this on my friends either, but they'll be 'ere in due time anyway. I can wait.

Caecus: So, you’re expecting your friends to join you here as well. The wait must be awfully lonely.

Sinner: Ah, not really. I’ve made friends while I’m ‘ere. The shit I can do ‘ere is like, fucking magic and with it I can make up for what I lack in a lot of different ways. Just wish I could remember how I ‘ad died.

Caecus: Maybe it’s better not to remember… Not all of us intended to be here, after all.

Sinner: No. No, perhaps it’s best not to remember. I quickly found out that it's not just evil folks that end up here, lots of good folks, plenty of weird ones too. I'm sensing you’re of the “gooder” ones, you radiate...well, it’s 'ard to describe, but I don't sense any hostility from you at the very least, even though you were born ‘ere.

Caecus: How amiable of you. But remember, a birth is just a new beginning of sorts. You couldn’t have been alone since you were… delivered to us.

Sinner: Ah, you’re a poetic type aren’t ya? Anyway, I’ve not made many friends but I do ‘ave a particular fondness for this one clown...me an' 'im seem to 'ave this weird connection wiv each other. Actually, he's more of a jester type, though rather embarrassingly his name escapes me...

Caecus: Are you, by chance, referring to an imp named Blocko?

Sinner: Yeah, don’t surprise me you know ‘im. He seems like the type to ‘ave a particular reputation.

Caecus: That he does, and yet a divine will connects us. I’m being led to believe your intriguing appearance has an even more… intriguing history.

Sinner: Riiiight...Well, you know what they say about skeletons and closets. Though I suppose I ‘ave nothing to hide ‘ere...Well, to put it simply, I was a broken kid. I never got help, and I did... unspeakable things to anyone who ‘ad wronged me—or simply didn't like.

Caecus: Even the purest of souls can be corrupted by another’s sins.

Sinner: Yeah...Well, it's not like I'll stop doin’ what I did while I was alive, with all that murder and hedonism. Though death has a way of humbling some people...In any case, the murders mostly stopped as I grew older. I seemed to have preferred to just traumatise people instead, ruin lives of the people I saw as bad or evil.

Caecus: Then you found a different punishment for those you had judged.

Sinner: I suppose so. A lot of it involved me spying on groups of people. I'd worm my way into the seedy societies that thought they were safe in their little circles and collect dirt on them. Really sick shit too by the way but don’t worry, the hypocrisy wasn’t lost on me either.

Caecus: Oh? You judged yourself a hypocrite yet continued along a path of self-appointed righteousness... Why?

Sinner: I don’t know, maybe a sense of catharsis? A lot of these were people who I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about killing or whatever. Sometimes it was more personal too, there were—still are people I am attached to up there that got hurt, and I took my revenge on them in their place.

Caecus: Ahh, how noble. Fighting for your friends.

Sinner: Yeah, there was this one particular bastard. Actually, there were a few…but…eh, nevermind…this one particular guy who was essentially lying to one of these “friends” and caused them a psychotic breakdown. I didn��t take action right away, but I did end up killing ‘im. Didn’t even bother hiding the fact it was a murder.

Caecus: What made you wait?

Sinner: Money, mostly. It makes the world up there spin, and you need a lot of it to get anything done, right? Well, I ‘ad to wait until I ‘ad enough money to fly to the states on top of all that shit involved in immigratin’. When I settled in, that’s when I made my move on a buncha grudges. This guy was just the first. Moving to the states made my life a lot easier in some ways. Was a lot easier to sleep when I took care of the grudges too.

Caecus: Oh, wow. You must have had remarkable resolve to keep a “grudge” that long… Tell me, did all of them truly deserve it?

Sinner: No, most didn’t, but I am…was, an angry person. I found I was very much capable of venting my anger, to put it mildly, and I was much too young when I had...shall we say...discovered it.

Caecus: Young minds are impressionable.

Sinner: Right, and the fact that I was generally good at getting away with it made me feel just that little bit better about it.

Caecus: So, you exploited that validation to continue justifying your actions. Most sinners in your position never reach awareness...

Sinner: Yeah? I’ll take that as a compliment, but I was totally emotionally disconnected when committing my crimes. Afterwards I pretty much always dealt with conflict. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch. Though I had largely stopped my ways. I’m ‘aving way too much fun down ‘ere, and even though I won’t drag ‘em down here with me, I’d love to have my friends join me eventually.

Caecus: Would they be pleased being here, embrace this existence like you have?

Sinner: I dunno, some of them have a hard enough time as it is with one existence, I doubt they’ll be too happy to find out there’s another waitin’ for ‘em. The others I’d imagine would be quite surprised all the same, being atheists and such, but I reckon they’d come to like it.

Caecus: An existence you cannot escape is itself a prison. Albeit, choosing to enjoy it in spite of that perspective is a marvelous thing. If you could imagine them in your presence, what would you do?

Sinner: Again, I dunno. It’s hard to tell when they’re not here yet but I am somewhat interested in what’ll end up happening should they get here. I dunno if I’ll be able to tell if it’s them even.

Caecus: And how do you dare to enjoy existence now?

Sinner: Well, I’ve been doing everything I’ve ever wanted to do but could never do in life amongst other things. It’s kinda embarrassing, but I played a bunch of video games, so I miss those quite a bit. I’ve found plenty of ways to fill that void though. Some of your movies are pretty sick down ‘ere, and importing goods from the other rings to ‘ere means I don’t miss out…mostly, on their fun too. I just wish I could explore the other rings; I don’t get why us sinners can’t.

Caecus: Decretum is often difficult to understand. However, it would seem a blessing that you’ve been placed with the multifarious company of the pride ring.

Sinner: True enough, whatever that means. There’s a lot of strip clubs, greedy businesses and shit, stuff you think you’d only find in the other rings. Though I think I probably would’ve ended up in wrath if we landed in the rings based on our sins.

Caecus: Most catechisms view wrath as an excessive anger. You strike me as having more control than the average sinner.

Sinner: A lot of people on the surface woulda said the same too, I was and I suppose still am really good at keeping it in check, well, good enough to not make it obvious anyway. Though it’s been a lot tougher down here.

Caecus: This is a realm of collective temptation, after all.

Sinner: My only judge here is myself and perhaps my peers if I let them. I still kill down here, but it’s been in self-defence. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone out of anger yet but let’s just say I’d feel sorry for the poor sod who happened to piss me off on a bad day.

Caecus: You’ve always been your own judge. I suspect the lack of good comparisons for your behavior here has coaxed you further.

Sinner: Actually, I could tell you about the first person I “killed” down here. It was soon after I woke up. I suppose this guy thought it’d be easy—fresh sinner, just in time to be another tally mark on some statistic.

Caecus: A second death, the lake of fire…

Sinner: Uh...yeah, I reacted on instinct and it musta been a sort of “kiss of death” type shit. I only touched the dude with my hand, and he just kinda…shrivelled up and died. You know…like when a cartoon character eats a lemo—ah sorry, you can’t watch TV.

Caecus: Ah, yes… a shrivelling death is nevertheless descriptive.

Sinner: Anyway, I have a bunch of other powers too but that one I’m most afraid of you know? I can drop the ambient temperature of an area so shit gets cold, have some form of telekinesis and a buncha other stuff, like I have some kinda control over this weird glowy energy, it’s how I have my eyes, which are purely for show, I don’t need them since I can see perfectly fine without ‘em...not that you’d know I even have ‘em.

Caecus: I’m aware you observe our world, in a traditional sense. My observations are just a bit more… unorthodox. And I feel as if your fear is not from a lack of understanding.

Sinner: Well I seem to have it under control, but I’m afraid in a moment of weakness I might react without thinking, you know? I’ve not had it happen yet, but it would be so easy when flippin’ out that I just give ‘em the ol’ touch of death.

Caecus: Even a king’s heart is just a stream of water to the hand of… fate.

Sinner: Gonna be honest, I haven’t the foggiest of what you just said. Though if I’m being honest myself, I couldn’t care less if it was someone I didn’t know anyway. Only really care about my friends and such. You seem pretty neat yourself.

Caecus: The impression is mutual. It’s not often that I’m seen as anything other than senseless and intimidating. I don’t find it unwarranted, granted; my appearance is as disconcerting as my psyche.

Sinner: How do you even know what you look like? It’s not like you can just look into a mirror.

Caecus: I was presented with a vision soon before I arrived, my last blessing I suppose… Regardless, my rebirth is a tale for another time. I’ve relished in your company long enough, and I must answer my calling. I’m sure our paths will converge again.

Sinner: Hey, I hope so too...uh....

Caecus: Please, call me Caecus.

Sinner: Well, it’s only polite to give you my name too. I go by many names here, but I am quite fond of “Mr. Death” as silly as it sounds.

Caecus: Silly, yes, but very becoming of you. A pleasure, Mr. Death.

Mr. Death:Well, don’t let me keep you. I’d like to see you again sometime, Caecus. I’ll take my leave.

Caecus: All in due time.

--End--

#hazbin hotel oc #helluva boss #helluva boss oc #hazbin hotel #transcript #Mr. Death #caecus #blocko #story

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yharnamsnewslug · 3 years

Note

How did you figure out you were a dude? Im afab, thinking im agender, but i dunno... It/its pronouns give me what i think is gender euphoria, but i cant use those irl bc ppl would think im weird. I used to think i was anything but a man, because who would willingly be a man, but your posts (and growing up) have shown me a different side of it, and now i dont know. Im so confused over who i am. Once it looked like i had short hair and i was ecstatic, and i keep having, i dunno, like a phantom dick?? It's been a thing my whole life but i haven't thought about it and aaaaaa. Im so confused. Sorry for this ramble, i just don't know how to figure anything out and all i know is if i could have a beard i would be happy. Sorry/thank you

Oh, hi! Don't worry, anon, you're not bothering me at all and people are welcome to ramble about gender and personal experiences in my inbox, granted that if anything should be trigger tagged, it is.

I'm not that good at giving advice and I'm certainly not perfect and not a pillar of knowledge, but here's my opinion;

Gender is hard to figure out. The reason for this is because everyone has their own perception of gender and what feels good. Thats why I'm so glad that there are so many pronouns floating about the internet - you can take what feels good to you. Pronouns are like names: you choose the ones that fit you. And nobody else should have a say in it, because it's yours.

If you want to figure your gender out, give it a name and discover what group/subgroup of gender you belong in, that's great! And I encourage you to research and ask other nonbinary folk! But if you're doing this to prove to someone that your experience and your gender is real and not weird, I'm afraid there's not much to do. Because people will always think that the things they do not understand are strange.

There are plenty of people, plenty of transmasculine people and trans men, who use it/its pronouns. And agendrr people who do lean into masculinity as well. The people who matter, who respect you and love you, will use your pronouns and refer to you as you want. That's called respect and basic decency.

If you like short hair and feel bottom dysphoria and want a beard, then I suggest you look up the effects of HRT! Testosterone could be a great balm for that pain, and there are so many posts about it!

Being a man is nothing bad. Being nonbinary, leaning into transmasculinity, is nothing bad. It's wonderful. My advice is that you try to look at yourself through the lens of transmasculinity and, if it makes you feel better, well, there is it!

But also, if it doesn't fit, it's also quite alright :) experimenting and learning as you go, growing and changing your perspective? That's just life. I used to think I was nonbinary and then realized I was a binary trans man. And there's nothing wrong with being nonbinary, I just realized it wasn't for me.

And it took me a while to realize. Give yourself time and have patience. Sometimes the answers come to you quick, others slow. Don't be afraid to experiment and don't be afraid of neopronouns or it/its; they're wonderful.

I hope you have a good day, anon ❤

#ask #anonymous #anon #advice #trans advice

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keelywolfe · 4 years

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FIC: The Royal We ch.1 (baon)

Summary: Family helps family. Sometimes right into the path of an oncoming car.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

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Read it on AO3

Read it here!

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When they first came to this universe, it hadn’t taken long for Edge to realize that things were very different here than back home in Underfell, (no, not home, not for a long time now). The changes took some time to absorb and some might never fully integrate, as his freezer filled with stocked up meals would attest. But there were a few universal constants and while all of them grew up with their brother as their only relative, they all knew that family helped family. Even when that family was a pack of alternates who appeared later in life.

Which was how Edge found himself on his day off sitting on the floor of what was currently Papyrus and Blue’s house, making party favors for Undyne’s baby shower.

The living room was strewn with decorations waiting to be placed, streamers and banners in an eclectic rainbow of colors, uninflated balloons spilling out of a bag like the leftover skins of a particularly garish fruit. The party itself wasn’t until tomorrow, but that left little time to waste, considering the plans Papyrus had drawn up.

Plan was perhaps an overstatement, but Edge could never fault Papyrus for his enthusiasm. His color scheme, on the other hand—well. He’d never approved of the way some Humans were so obsessed with gender that they actually assigned colors at birth but there was a great distance between that and a design that might cause any guests with fleshier eyes to scramble for sunglasses.

Papyrus was bustling around setting things up while the rest of them were sitting on the floor in a circle around a coffee table that was cluttered with craft supplies. He’d paired each of them off to work on separate projects and for all that the occasion was a joyous one, the mood was decidedly not.

“how many of these things do we need, anyway?” Stretch grumbled. His and Jeff’s assigned duty was to pour a mixture of toffee-coated popcorn into small plastic bags, tie it closed with a ribbon, and then affix a sticker on the front that declared in cheery letters ‘Ready to Pop’!

Edge was morbidly curious as to how Undyne felt about that particular sentiment this close to the end of her pregnancy.

A glance at the finished bags confirmed that Stretch’s ribbons were less a bow and more a tangle of colorful knots, Jeff’s only a slight improvement. The bags were sealed at least, and Papyrus was more than content with the effort, which was all that really mattered.

Besides, Edge was busy with his own task; planting tiny succulents into miniature pots, each with a painstakingly attached tag reading, ‘Watch Me Grow!’. Privately, he thought the small cacti were a far better representation of Undyne than any snack, but then, he wasn’t the one actually throwing the shower.

“How many do we need,” Papyrus repeated thoughtfully. Edge pointedly did not ask about the garland in his hand which seemed to be made of dangling fish ornaments and…was that tomatoes? Edge decided it would be best not to know, lest he end up lying awake tonight with the answer still haunting him. “Well, there is Undyne’s co-workers in Security and Alphys’s at the lab, plus their neighbors and friends, and of course us!”

“i don’t need no damn cactus,” Red muttered sullenly. How Papyrus even got Red here was another burning question, though the answer was likely Sans sitting placidly right next to him. His collar was visible over the neckline of his t-shirt, the buckle glinting in the light. Occasionally he reached up absently to touch it as if to verify it hadn’t wandered off when he wasn’t looking. Their entire duty seemed to be putting cans of sparkling water into drink koozies emblazoned with such witticisms as ‘nacho average baby’ over a cartoon of a tortilla chip. It was anyone’s guess as to if that task was actually assigned to them or simple the one they’d decided on doing, but between them, there were four cans done after a half an hour of work.

Sans managed to slide another can into a koozie, bringing their grand total to five. “paps, that didn’t really answer the question.”

“That would be because I am not finished counting!” Papyrus scolded. “There’s also Undyne’s ‘Cooking with Krav Maga’ class and naturally all the Dreemurr family will be coming.”

“great, ass-gore will be here,” Stretch muttered, fumbling to tie another ribbon with varying success. “i’ll be sure to bring my headphones.”

Edge sighed inwardly. Stretch was in a prickly mood and had been all day, and it didn’t take a scientist-level IQ to know it had something to do with the baby shower. They’d known about this for days; when Papyrus asked if they would help, Edge hadn’t hesitated to agree. Now he was wondering if he shouldn’t have asked Stretch in advance. He hadn’t refused to come, but he’d been twitchy and snappish since getting up that morning, only getting worse when they came over. If the party were for anyone but Undyne, Edge would have suggested they go home.

Adding to the irritation was Red in a poor mood of his own and he hadn’t a single qualm about casting sparks around a gasoline spill. “good, no one wants to hear you flappin’ your yap, anyway. save your 280 characters for your twitter freaks.”

“aww, jealous?” Stretch cooed, “‘cause, you talk so much crap, i dunno whether to you need toilet paper or a breath mint.”

Edge exchanged a weary look with Blue, who returned it with equal exasperation. Those two had been sniping at each other all morning and it was Blue’s turn to attempt a least a little fire prevention.

“Really, Papy, that’s enough,” Blue said reprovingly. That might stop them briefly, but they all knew from past experience it wouldn’t last. Red and Stretch were alike in a number of dissatisfying ways, past the darkened circles of exhaustion that were currently visible beneath both their sockets. For one, most of them weren’t above returning a good insult with a better one, but Red and Stretch could be particularly vicious about it. Usually it was better to let them simply work it out between themselves; trying to intercede past a little mild scolding usually ended up getting you mixed up in the spat.

This time Edge was tempted, if only because Jeff looked supremely uncomfortable. He fumbled with his latest little bag of popcorn and ended up with a good portion bouncing into his lap rather than the treat bag.

For the time being, Sans seemed content to allow them to try to rein in their brothers, and that would likely last until their petty squabbling might upset Papyrus. Who thus far either hadn’t noticed or was content to allow the others to handle it. Edge hoped it was the latter. The crack in Papyrus’s skull was still starkly visible, although his balance seemed much improved, if the way he all but leapt from the ladder was any indication, digging furiously through an overflowing box of even more decorations.

“sure, bro,” Stretch said to his brother’s scold, and then promptly added a mumble of, “don’t see why he has to be here, anyway.”

“’cause it ain’t your party, it’s hers, and she’d want ‘im,” Red grumbled. Then, in a smirking sotto voce, “’sides, i figure he’s the baby daddy so be kinda rude not to at least give ‘im a party favor.”

“There is no baby daddy, since neither Undyne nor Alphys want to be called daddy, and it’s much ruder to speculate,” Papyrus called primly, confirming that he was indeed listening to the ongoing bickering. He stood with his hands on his hips, eyeing the growing balloon sculpture critically. Edge joined him in looking, biting the tip of his tongue to hold back any questions, especially on whether the design was supposed to be Undyne or an eggplant. Never ask when you didn’t want to know the answer and Papyrus wove in another long, purple balloon as he went on, “and also Asgore can’t be the donor because I am.”

A hush of silence fell, along with a number of wide sockets and eyes turning to Papyrus’s direction. No one’s were wider than Sans’s at what was obviously unexpected news to him as he blurted, "seriously, bro? you're the one who handed over the baby batter for undyne?”

Papyrus frowned at them all reprovingly. “That is rude AND crude, I'll thank you not to refer to it that way.”

"sorry, bro, but fuck,” Sans sputtered, “you didn’t say anything!”

"Is there a reason I would need to?” Papyrus asked, brow bones raised, “Undyne is my best friend and wanted a child, so of course I would help provide the necessary material in her time of need!"

“necessary material,” Stretch muttered, his face scrunching up, and in that Edge could only agree, “right.” He nudged Jeff with an elbow, who yelped aloud and jumped, sending up another miniature shower of popcorn, “uh, andy, i know we're best buds and all, but if you ever need--"

“Nope, I’m good,” Jeff said, a touch too loudly.

“happy to hear it.” Stretch gave him a grin that slowly faded. “see? so if asgore didn’t donate his, uh, time and effort, he can stay home."

“Honestly, Papy you can’t—" Blue began reprovingly, only to be drowned out by Red’s loud snort.

“what the fuck is your problem with asgore, anyway,” Red grumbled. He picked at his gold tooth, a tell that sent tension winding up Edge’s spine even as his brother added with lazy viciousness, “get over it already, you act like he’s your ex who fucked you over.”

The day seemed to be one for unexpected silences. Only this time the stares were directed at Stretch, who said nothing. He only sat white-faced, cellophane crinkling loudly as his hands fisted around the bag in his lap, his skull draining of color as he managed to look at anything but those stares.

Red let out a harsh chortle of laughter, “seriously? all this time you’ve been holier than thou about his lv and it’s actually ‘cause you used to give him the bone over in your ‘verse? fuck, now there is a mental picture,” Red moaned out gleefully, “oooh, fuzzy ass, stick it to me good! ram me with your furry wand of wonder and i’ll get your goat!”

A chorus of protests rose up, with Edge’s snarl of, “That’s enough!” rising to the top.

But Stretch was already standing, a litter of colorful ribbons shedding from his lap as he walked swiftly to the door.

“Rus—" Edge stood to chase after him, cursing his damned leg as it threatened to buckle under him. It was an exercise in futility from the start, as he’d known it would be. Stretch shortcutted the moment he was out the door, heading off Angel knew where to lose himself in the stew of his own thoughts. The temptation to look up where he’d reappeared on the phone app was strong, but Edge resisted it. Stretch had the right to be alone if that was what he wanted, particularly after that dig.

He sighed and went back into the house. Only to pause as he saw the various looks had transferred to him, all of them guarded, particularly Blue; his starry eye lights seemed to be anticipating anger at Stretch. As if this made any damned difference between them. Even Jeff looked near tears, like he expected Edge to already have Antwan on the phone demanding him to draw up divorce papers. It was damn well insulting, and he glared back at them all until those gazes dropped, Blue’s reluctantly last.

All except for his own brother. Red was grinning, savagely pleased, and if they wanted anger, the simmering urge to shout at his brother was rising to a roiling boil in him, his LV waking in his soul to twinge eagerly at the heat of it. Only that was likely exactly what his brother wanted, to be punished for his casual cruelties. Whatever was troubling Red, Edge wasn’t about to reward his masochism.

His own anger fell swiftly into disappointment; lately Red had been bordering on kind with Stretch, if it could be called that, treating him as a brother, or better, if Edge were honest with himself. A brother that needed his protection as Edge decidedly did not. It’d been some time since he’d deliberately needled Stretch and Edge couldn’t even understand why he’d chosen to do so today. Whatever his petty reasons, they weren’t sufficient enough to excuse that.

Edge kept his voice low and even as he said, “That was cruel.”

That satisfied smirk faltered and Red shifted to lean forward. “yeah? well, it's about time he starts getting’ over it. it ain’t the same guy and he’s married to you.”

“Affection for someone else is not any kind of betrayal and considering that all of you calculated our worlds have ceased to exist, there isn’t much opportunity for closure, is there,” Edge said, acid creeping in. "The state of my marriage is no concern of yours."

Red’s sockets fell half-closed as he said, dangerously soft, "you think so, boss?"

Then he flinched suddenly, yelping as Sans slapped him upside the head. "you’re so eager for stretch to get over shit, how about you practice what you preach.” He shoved a can of sparkling water into Red’s lap. “shut up and put on a fucking koozie.”

Red scowled hard and Edge did not miss his crimson gaze flicking to the collar around Sans's throat. Grudgingly, he did what he was told.

“Do not interfere with my marriage,” Edge said coolly. Not that such a statement would stop his brother, but at least it was said between them. Then to Papyrus. “I am sorry, but."

Papyrus only flapped his hands at him, shooing him away, “No, no, go, talk to Stretchy Me! I’m sure Cherry here would like to think about how much he hurt Stretch’s feelings and yours, his own brother, who has recently suffered an injury. And there are my own injuries to consider as well, sticks, stones, and words do hurt!"

Edge let him ramble and started for the door, then hesitated. The others were accustomed to a certain amount of internal friction, some of it formerly his and Stretch’s, from the moment they woke up in this universe. Their Human companion was not so inured to it and Edge crouched to set a ginger hand on Jeff’s shoulder, “Jeff, I’m sorry.”

“Nah,” Jeff waved it off, offering up a lopsided grin. “That was nothing. You should’ve seen Thanksgiving at my grandparent’s place. Don’t think my grandma ever got the gravy stains off the ceiling.”

“can’t just drop a hint like that and not give the story, andy,” Sans said, lightly. The others murmured agreement, eager to latch onto another topic.

Edge could hear as he went out the door, “Well, uh, see, my grandpa was originally from Norway, and—”

There were any number of places Stretch might go to nurse his internal wounds, but Edge had a fairly good guess as to the likeliest one. He drove home, parked his car in the driveway, but instead of heading up to the front porch, he went around the side of the house towards their fenced backyard. Before he was even close, he could hear Stretch talking and he went quietly through the gate to see him sitting outside the coop with Noodle settled into his lap, the laces of his untied sneakers trailing into the grass for Dumpling to peck at.

His skull was resting against one of the support posts, still too pale, his sockets closed and his vape drooping loosely from his long fingers. Vaping instead of smoking cropped up sometimes when Stretch was truly irritated, as if he subconsciously wanted control over something and settled for his nicotine addiction. Or perhaps it was to protect his feathered companions from secondhand smoke.

Noodle didn’t seem bothered either way, chirring softly as Stretch stroked his free hand down her back.

“—not like i don’t know i’m being a dick. that guy just pisses me off sometimes. asgore, not red. actually, they both piss me off, now that you mention it.”

Noodle made an inquisitive sound and Stretch sighed out a cloud of vapor. “yeah, yeah, i was in a mood before we even went over. i dunno, all that baby shit gets on my nerves for some reason.” He scratched lightly under Noodle’s chin and she cooed contentedly. “you’re right, it’s no excuse for being shitty. especially to papyrus, he’s all excited about throwing this party. even if the balloon thing was creepy, you should’ve seen it, like cthulhu’s second cousin after failed plastic surgery.”

“You weren’t being a dick.” Edge said, quietly. Stretch tensed and his sockets slid open, but he didn’t look up, his pale eye lights straying down on his poultry pal. Edge walked over and sat next to them, keeping a careful distance away, easily breached if Stretch wished, or a comforting barrier if he didn’t. “Perhaps a little rude.” Edge held up his thumb and forefinger an inch apart. “A little. My brother, on the other hand, was embracing his dickish nature.”

Stretch made a faint, amused sound, “red embracing his dick was not a chat i was expecting today.”

Then he leaned to the side, crossing the distance between them to rest his skull on Edge’s shoulder. He took the unsubtle hint and slid an arm around his husband’s slim shoulders, holding him in close, closing his sockets against the faint tremble in Stretch’s voice as softly spoke.

“he wasn’t my boyfriend. fuck, i never saw him get out of the ruins. i…might’ve given it a shot if he had,” his voice dropped to a bare whisper and Edge hummed encouragingly, already anticipating what was coming, “but i was fucking everyone back then. i was maybe a little infatuated, okay? that’s it.”

“All right,” Edge said, calmly, even as he tightened his arm around Stretch, holding him closer still. He was not jealous of Stretch’s yesterdays; his only commitments were his tomorrows, and despite what his brother might think, Edge was certainly not about to allow anything so trivial as a former crush on a dead man come between them.

Stretch heaved a watery little sigh. “but that isn’t it, not really. he was my friend and i promised him i’d take care of the kid. instead i—"

“Did what you had to do,” Edge interrupted firmly. He understood impossible situations better than most, his own LV-tainted soul aching to think of Stretch enduring what he had for so long, an impossible choice to make between his world and the intent of a murderous child.

Yet, even now, Stretch couldn’t be convinced that was true. He only sighed out a quiet, “sure.” Then, louder, “anyway. he was my friend. he would have hated to see what he was in this world. it’s just…it’s hard sometimes.”

“I know.” Hard to see alternates of people they’d known, a lifetime of memories to be set aside while learning a new person with an old face. Undyne was his own personal struggle and Edge could call her friend, but it wasn’t the same, it couldn’t be.

Next to him, Stretch snuggled in closer even as Noodle let out a querulous protest over the lack of petting. “i’ve been thinking. my hp is on the rise, right?”

“It’s 5 and a quarter, love,” Edge said dryly, reaching over to offer the chicken a gentle pat, Noodle’s dismay quickly turning to a rapturous croon, “and as happy as I am for it, I’d prefer if you didn’t decide to take up hang gliding or street fighting.”

"you're hilarious, babe." Another long, slow breath, before Stretch blurted, "i know i kinda railroaded you when we talked about this before. if you really want kids--" he faltered, his voice breaking as Edge listened in dismayed confusion, "i mean, if that's…we could…"

Suddenly Edge knew precisely what Rus was going to offer and he didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want him to think in even the tiniest way that he’d lost some measure of Edge’s love by preferring not to have children and and he didn’t know how to stop him from strangling out the words.

So Edge cupped his face in a hand and turned Stretch’s head towards him to kiss that stammering mouth lingeringly, until he stopped trying and simply melted into the gentle touch. By the time he drew away, Stretch was the one making thin, dismayed sounds, trying to chase after that kiss for more, his eye lights hazy soft. Instead, Edge pressed a light, teasing kiss to the slight nodule of his nasal cavity.

"No, I don’t think so,” Edge told him, slow and carefully. Watching that much-loved face to make sure Stretch was hearing him. “I’ve considered it and I’ve decided I’m entirely too busy to add parenthood to my schedule. I’m going back to the Y this week, I think I’m better off trying to secure a place in this world for the children already in it.”

Poorly hidden relief flickered over Stretch’s face and Edge leaned in to kiss him again, silently hoping that he was truly believed this time. There was no doubt in his mind that Stretch would force himself to endure the stresses of having a child if he thought Edge wished it, but making Stretch bear the weight of unwanted parenthood was a nightmare not to be considered. He’d love the child, surely, but at what cost? Far higher than Edge would ever consider paying.

A sudden cackle came from inside the coop and Stretch jerked away, sitting bolt upright.

“the egg!” Stretch gasped, scrambling to his feet, “i never did get a chance to research her adopted egg. you think maybe it actually—” hatched, he did not say, almost superstitiously hopeful.

“It’s possible,” Edge hedged, doubtfully. They both started into the coop, only for a voice calling over the fence to stop them.

“Hello? Hello, is anyone home?” The words were couched with near panic and the voice was a familiar one. Stretch beat him to the fence, opening the gate as he limped as quickly as he could over.

“Janice?” Edge said, surprised and concerned. The fur on her face was matted and wet with tears and she wrung her hands, shaking as she tried to speak. It brought back unpleasant memories of the attack at the Embassy, when one of the protesters threw a brick at her. Even then her pain and fear were tempered under practicality as she asked Antwan to bring her children to the hospital, her thoughts on keeping her boys from fearing Humans more than they already might. To see her bereft of her usual firm control was concerning.

“Calm down,” Edge soothed, pulling her into his arms without a thought, even as he cast a wary glance around the neighborhood. Nothing seemed out of order, not yet, “What’s happened?”

She leaned against him heavily and he nearly staggered back a step. Tall as he was, they were of nearly an equal weight. “It’s Jude, he didn’t come home for lunch and I can’t find him anywhere!” She hitched out a sob. “None of the other children have seen him, my family has been looking but we can’t find him, I can’t—”

Her voice dissolved and Edge gave her a last pat before firmly pushing her into his husband’s startled arms.

“Stretch, stay with her,” Edge commanded, reaching for his phone, “I’m going to make some calls.”

“yeah, sure,” Stretch agreed hastily. He rubbed a soothing hand down her back as Janice struggled against her tears. “hey, we’ll find him. little guy couldn’t have gotten too far.”

Edge was already pulling up his contact list and couldn’t help the darkly sour thought that if this didn’t pull his brother out of his bad mood, nothing would.

~~*~~

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #kustard #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #by any other name

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