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#i just love the idea of his kids growing up with the WEIRDEST family connections but not thinking much of it
waitineedaname · 10 months
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thinking about ed leading a relatively mundane life post-canon while still having all the connections he made during his time as a state alchemist is very funny to me, especially when thinking about his kids' perspectives. several high ranking military officials send them birthday gifts every year. they know four different guys who can turn into animals and this is mostly just a party trick for them. the emperor of xing is a family friend. they go to school and learn about the state alchemists and hear about the youngest state alchemist ever edward elric and they're like "you mean our fucking dad? our loser dad who can't do alchemy and consistently hits his thumb when using a hammer and has a rivalry with our pet chicken? you mean that edward elric?"
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Pregnant s/o (Rsat7d)
Merlin
Bless this idiot, it’s going to take him a minute to understand what his s/o has said. S/o will be in the living room curled up with a book or working in their office with a couple of nerves after having told a seemingly indifferent Merlin the news. Then they hear quickly approaching footsteps. And a slamming door. “You’re pregnant?!”
It’s 4:00pm. They told this moron first thing in the morning. Telling him anything when he’s in the library is pointless. 
He’s trying very cool to stay calm about this and seem enthused. Really, he is. It’s just all his anxieties and insecurities he pretends to not have are suddenly at his throat. He hasn’t a clue what to do. Send help.
All of the nervous maniac energy composing Merlin is transferred into a transformation none of the F7 thought they’d live to witness. The young, reckless lightning idiot becoming a responsible adult. Who mother hens people. And reminds them about medication. And food. And gets them to sit down while he takes care of everything for them. Hans is proud, the others are concerned. 
Some of this new-found need to mother-hen in a valid attempt to avoid overthinking whether or not he will be a good father is used to come up with useful spells. By first trimester’s end s/o has a small stack of spells to use when needed. The “cold pad” and “hot pad” spells are wonderful. The usefulness of the “vomit into a portable void” spell is debatable.
Jokes aside Merlin is worried about being a good father. This is a man with a lot of insecurities who worries about his own self worth- the idea that his child could dislike him haunts him. A lot of comfort is needed to chase away this fear. 
He is very protective about them and will deal with any threat with lightning. The house spiders quake in fear.
Arthur
His s/o could tell him at multiple points for many awesome reactions, but the best way is if they tell him in the middle of training. His standard “showing off because bae is watching” show is cut short as Arthur’s eyes widen. His sword, Excalibur, hits the ground with a thud. Next thing s/o knows, they’re in the air being spun in a straight-out-of-Disney twirl by an excited Arthur. 
All of F7 knows by day’s end. He’s telling everybody with a massive grin on his face and 0 shame. 
Arthur is a family man waiting to happen. Pull this idea out of my dead hands if you want, but you cannot convince me that this man hasn’t dreamt of having a loving partner and some tinies to spoil rotten with stories. He’s either been waiting to bring up the idea with them or the s/o is well-aware. 
Every single tiny milestone is met by the sweet puppy Arthur embodies. He’s just so happy and supportive, it’s kind of adorable. His s/o mentions the baby kicking their bladder and suddenly there’s a prince up against their belly desperately wanting to feel the baby kick too. 
One thing s/o is going to have to watch out for is expectations. Arthur’s parents seemed to have had a lot of those for him, and he’s probably internalized a lot of them too. It’s going to have to be up to his s/o to remind them that putting that many expectations on any person is a bad thing. The baby is going to be awesome. But let them be awesome on their own terms. 
Wants to carry them everywhere when their feet start to hurt. What if they get hurt going up the stairs? He’s strong, let him carry them for a bit dang it!
Jack
Jack is really a wild card here. Personally I see him being really connected to his own family, being a self-made prince who has worked hard to make sure his living family lives comfortably. On the other hand, this is a baby. A new person. That’s half him and half s/o. Wow. Wow.
Drops anything he is holding. Stunned still. It’s taking all of his processing power to debate the aforementioned two points on his conflicting views. S/o is going to be able to wave a hand in front of his eyes and have no response.
Make some tea. Read a book. Give him a hot minute to think. 
Out of the princes (besides Hans) Jack is going to be one of the few to really sit down with s/o and talk about what this means for them. He wants the kid, no worries there, but having a kid is a huge undertaking for anyone. How do they want to raise the child? Where (if his s/o is royalty too for example, which kingdom should they raise them in?) should they set up their life? Is Jack 2 an acceptable name? Is any jewel-related name acceptable? 
Jack’s s/o wins the pregnancy lotto in terms of access to feel-good supplies. Jack, the man, the prince, has facial masks in what appears to be a medieval-renaissance-inspired fantasy realm. From France. How he achieved this is a damned mystery. His whole bathroom is probably lined with the nicest creams and moisturizers money can buy. Jack’s not going to let his partner who is pregnant skip out on self-care. Absolutely not.
Jack is surprisingly good with helping his partner out emotionally at this time. He recognizes feelings and responds pretty well to them, so during the pregnancy and afterwards he is very supportive to their emotional needs. This is a very happy, but intense time and he is 100% there for them, through every high and every low.
Hans
Do not - I repeat - do not tell him when he is in the kitchen. Anything he’s cooking is going to burn, get stuck to the ceiling or is otherwise rendered inedible. Actually, any of those cute “bun in the oven” related announcements are not going to work on him. He’s going to be more upset at the concept of someone not cleaning his oven or risking burning a perfectly innocent loaf than anything else.  
He does, eventually, figure out that this was meant to tell him that the love of his life is pregnant and he’s very happy, but food safety is no joke. 
Hans’ reaction depends entirely on s/o’s reaction. How are they feeling about all this? As one of the only two emotionally intelligent people in the F7 (the other being Jack) he’s very responsive to his partner on this. Any fears or concerns they have are going to be his top priority. Though, once told that they are happy about, Hans lets out his own happiness and shows just how over the moon he is about this. 
Hans is a great guy. He really is. He’s also an unapologetic mom-friend whose knee-jerk reaction to someone he cares about going through stuff is to feed them. Unless his s/o puts their foot down hard (which they aren’t because hell-o growing people is hungry business) Hans is going to live in his kitchen. Great in that he’s willing to cook up their weirdest cravings even if he does judge them on it. Bad in that s/o might accidentally wind up feeling lonely because he’s over-focused on feeding/caring for them to actually be around them. One good conversation though and that’s nipped in the bud quick.
Loves his friends. Truly. Really. Has seen his friends do some truly stupid things. He’s not above standing behind his s/o and giving any member of the F7 the side-eye something fierce if they be acting up around his partner. 
Average
Average is an idiot. I don’t mean that insultingly, I’m just stating facts. This man could not pick up a subtle hint if it punched him in the face and rummaged his pockets for common sense. Unless his s/o tells him point blank to the face, he’s not going to get it. Cute messages/hints do not work on the man. Just tell him. Even then it’s going to take a second. 
Average’s reaction is really hard to pin down. During the events of the movie I do not see him having an s/o, at least not one he has a good relationship with and by the end of the movie all his potential character growth that could lead him to having a partner is implied to happen as he breaks his new-found curse. Growth that could lead his personality in several different directions. For the sake of not having to write down every single possibility I’m going to go ahead and say that he’s shocked. 
Regardless of personality growth I can say he’s going to be very demanding of everyone else around them. His partner, the love of his life, deserves only the very best. Now that they are with child he has to make sure they have the best for them and for his heir! None of this subpar stuff. They’re royalty, they deserve the best. If he’s not stopped the nursery is going to cost more than the GDP of a small country. 
He’s a little lost on a lot of pregnancy stuff really. Average isn’t an emotionally intelligent person, so he’s not great with comfort. He doesn’t do well with making runs for food (great at getting servants to fetch the strangest food combinations though), or with massaging, or with a lot of the physically demanding parts. The thing is? He knows. He knows that he’s lost on this. And it worries him. If he can’t do much now, how is he supposed to be a great father when the kid does show up? It’ll take some picking away at his walls, but eventually his s/o can talk to him on this and help him through it. They’re a team. They will get through this together. 
Don’t let him name the kid. “Superior” is not a good name for a child.
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soulessrobot · 3 years
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I spent a ridiculous amount of time yesterday thinking about Straw Hat Buddy Cop AUs and which one would be the most ridiculous partner dynamics. These can all be viewed as separate Aus or be forced into some big amalgamation of these ideas which would be the most dysfunctional police department in the world. 
Nami and Zoro: Alright not going to lie out of all of these this is probably one of my favorites and the one I spent the longest thinking about. I’m a sucker for Zoro-Nami interactions. This partnership is classic brains and brawn. Nami starts as a dirty cop that joined the force as part of the Arlong Gang. Nami hates the Arlong Gang but they have her home neighborhood completely under their thumb and if she wants to keep her people safe she has to compromise her morals. Nami has duped every partner since she joined the force and she thinks Zoro will be no different. Zoro has an incredible pain tolerance and discipline when he wants to be he can be a force of nature. His father Mihawk was the world’s best bounty hunter and Zoro learned his fighting prowess from him His sister, Perona, is a private detective who will sometimes help Zoro out by giving him tips. Zoro cannot read maps or operate the gps system. He by order of chief Garp is not allowed to drive the police cruiser because he can never get to crime scenes on time even when he turns his lights on. Somehow Zoro always seems to end up at crime scenes before they happen and prevent the crime though... Nami thinks Zoro is an idiot she’s not wrong, he constantly forgets his wallet places and she’s always covering his debts for him. They bicker almost constantly. Zoro is rather fond of it because it reminds him of Perona. Zoro saves Nami’s life in a shoot out. Zoro seems to know something is up with Nami even though everyone else missed it. After a particularly brutal case he tells her that she can tell him and he’ll find a way to help her. Nami declines but doesn’t know how to feel, she hasn’t had someone take care of her since before Arlong’s takeover. Zoro by accident ends up in the sights of the Arlong Gang and Nami has to make the choice of if she’s willing to sacrifice the one person who could actually help her. 
Franky and Robin: I’m torn on this one between making it a police au where they are actually partners or making it into a mob au where Robin is a FBI investigator trying to make a case against the Franky Family a group of robin hood con men. Either way Robin graduated top of her class and was recruited straight into the FBI from college. She’s worked with multiple sections in the FBI but her specialties are organized crime, forgery and profiling. She’s not usually in the field but as the targets of the Franky Family grow in notoriety she ends up going undercover to try and catch him. Franky is a con man whose running a Leverage-esque gig. He’s out for the little guy. His family would never screw him over they’re in it to steal the rich blind and give to the poor. Franky is an inventor who makes his own gadgets for their heist. Franky’s personality and ethics start to grow on Robin as she gets closer to her target she almost doesn’t want to catch him. Does she defect? Who knows?  
Sanji and Usopp: Sanji comes from a rich family with deep political connections in the city. He wants nothing to do with them. They’ve basically disowned him for joining the force.  Sanji has a serious weakness for ladies that has a tendency to get them into to trouble on their cases. He’s a real bleeding heart to the plight of women and kids. He has a serious vendetta about domestic abusers. Usopp has a keen eye for details and spots things that everyone else may have overlooked. At first Sanji is really disappointed he didn’t get paired with Robin or Nami but Usopp grows on him. Usopp wins Sanji over when they discover a shared love of supporting family owned restaurants all over the city.  Usopp sometimes catches ‘cantgetoutofthecruiseritis’ but its been getting less and less frequent with Sanji watching his back. 
Chopper and Brook: The weirdest team-up of the old man on the verge of retiring who the department loves and the wide eyed new recruit. Brook has a habit of telling Chopper things that are totally untrue about how the force used to run back in the day. Chopper is starting to get better at catching on to when Brook is trying to full a fast one on him. Chopper is still new but he tries his best everyday. He spends all of his free time studying first aid and non violent deescalation tactics. He visits a lot of people he helped to put away in jail and helps them find resources to turn their lives around. Brook has a lot of hope in what young people like Chopper will mean for the future police force. Brook has dozens of cassettes in his police cruiser with all different types of music on them. He has a rescue dog named Laboon who likes to howl along while Brook sings in the car. His cruiser is the oldest on the force.
Luffy and Usopp: Luffy in any police force AU is the maverick constantly on the verge of being fired. It’s not because he has some gritty vigilante code (though he does have a heart of gold!) but because he actually is dumb as rocks about processes and procedures but is like a blood hound with a ridiculously good instinct for tracking down the bad guys. Luffy doesn’t carry a gun and handles everything with his fists because that’s the way a man does it. His grandfather was one of the best cops in their country and everyone expects that from Luffy. Luffy does not care he’s here to kick the bad guys ass and help the little guy.  Usopp has always wanted to be a field officer because his father was a detective before he died on the job. On the force he’s been a beat cop and paper pusher in the office he’s absolutely terrified about doing undercover work. When he gets partnered with Luffy he’s so excited Their first ride together turns into a high speed police chase against kidnappers. Usopp is terrified and Luffy spends the whole ride laughing. Over time they develop a record case solving rate that no one at the department can figure out. The answer is they just bumble into it in a truly Psych-esque fashion. Now that I think about it Luffy and Usopp really do have Shawn-Gus vibes and a Psych AU could totally work for them. 
Luffy and Law: Lets be real this would literally be their canon relationship. Law has no idea what he’s getting into. He’s the lone wolf at the department and has no desire to be partnered with anyone let alone the grandson of the chief. Law’s sole motivation for life and for joining law enforcement is to take on Doflamingos criminal empire that killed his foster father and then got to walk. He’s spent years building a case against the man. Their first case starts as a robbery to a toy store and ends with them finding a multi-million blood diamond smuggling ring. Law still can’t answer how they got there but someone has to write the report and its definitely not Luffy. Law over time gets strapped with doing all of Luffy’s paperwork. Luffy is really excited to have Law as a partner and somehow worms the way into the other mans heart. They would both take a bullet for each other. 
Robin and Jimbei: Okay lets be real this would be the most serious partner team up. Robin and Jimbei would both be great detectives, they would follow the rules (or not get caught when they break them), catch the bad guys and one of them would end up as chief as police by the end. Robin might end up as a forensic investigator who makes morbid little jokes to watch all the newbies squirm. 
In summary none of the Straw Hats should be police officers except Robin but she’s way to good for it anyway. Please add your own thoughts about the hilarity of the Straw Hats in the force or use any of these weird headcanons/plot bunnies in anyway you want. I just had to get them out of my head. 
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i love ur stuff!!! do u think u could write something like diego and the reader not liking eachother (maybe the reader is friends with klaus or allison or someone) and then slowly they begin to like eachother ??? :0
A/N: Thank you so much for the sweet message Nonny ☺ it was a lovely prompt, and I hope you enjoy. Word Count: 2060 Content Warning: mild swearing
“Hey Y/N, why don’t you like Diego?” Klaus asked one evening as the two of you lounged on your couch watching Allison’s latest red carpet event.
“Is that a serious question?” you counter with a raised eyebrow, popping another piece of popcorn in your mouth.
“Yeah. I mean, you get along with everyone else, literally. But not Diego.”
“I don’t get along with everyone else. And I just…think he’s jerk.”
“He is. But so’s Luther and you like him fine.”
You rolled your eyes. “Look, I don’t know how to explain it. I just, every time I talk to your brother I get filled with this overwhelming desire to hit something.”
Klaus started laughing and you raised an eyebrow questioningly. He just shook his head, still laughing. However, he dropped the subject after that and you decided not to push him on what might have been so funny.
~
“You’re welcome,” he said with a smirk, still holding onto your arm.
“Oh don’t do that, Diego,” you snapped. “Don’t act like you did me some favor and I should be grateful.”
“I just saved your life, Y/N.”
“It was a guy on a bike; I think I would have been fine. I can take care of myself.” You folded your arms over your chest, pulling out of his grasp in the process. “What are you even doing here?”
He shrugged. “Out for a walk.”
“Really? In this part of town nowhere near anything you usually have to do with?”
He shrugged. “It was a long walk.”
“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m outta here.”
“Not gonna offer to buy me dinner for saving your life?” he called after you as you started to walk away.
“In your dreams Hargreeves,” you shot back.
~
The next time you saw Diego, you had called him to meet you and he seemed quite surprised when he showed up to the park.
“What’s going on, Y/N? No offense, but you were the last person I was expecting to hear from,” he asked, trying to hide the fact that concern had made him run most of the way there.
“It’s Klaus. He hasn’t been by in a while and he missed our weekly breakfasts. He never does that, especially since I pay. So I’m worried and…I couldn’t think of anyone else who might be able to help. Sorry to bother you.” You shifted uncomfortably and bit your lip, worried that you had annoyed him and that he would refuse to help.
“Shit,” he sighed, running a hand through his close-cropped hair. “Alright, I’ll help you look for him. But the kind of places he hangs out…we probably shouldn’t split up, even if it would let us cover more ground.”
“That’s kind of what I was thinking too. I figured I should call someone in for backup.” You shrugged and forced a smile.
The two of you walked in silence for a while, figuring that you would be more likely to actually spot him if you moved on foot than by car, even if it would take you more time. And, if you were being honest, you didn’t mind the amount of time. You found that when you weren’t actively fighting, you appreciated the presence of the other Hargreeves. You certainly felt safe with him beside you, between the knives and the subtle strength that you could see in his stance and the muscles that his clothing clung to.
“Is there something going on between you and Klaus?” he asked suddenly after a while of quiet.
“What? No. He’s my best friend. I don’t…I don’t see him like that.”
He gave you a look that suggested he didn’t quite believe you.
“I’m serious. I love him sure, but the same way I love my baby sister. I want the world for him and would do anything for him but…romantically…blegh.” You scrunched up your face in disgust at the thought and the man beside you laughed.
“So if not my brother…is there someone special?”
You fell silent, studying Diego through the corner of your eye. Part of you itched to snap that it was none of his business. The other part of you, quite rebelliously, admired the slope of his shoulders beneath his black sweater and the cut of his jaw, how the long scar above his ear interrupted his smooth, almost militaristic appearance and made him more attractive, more dangerous looking.
“No,” you said, after maybe too long of silently enjoying the view of him. “No one’s seemed worth my time.”
“You really think highly of yourself don’t you?” he laughed.
“What?”
“’No one’s seemed worth my time,’” he quoted back, “sounds awfully pretentious.”
You felt your cheeks heat in embarrassment. “No…I just meant that I’ve dated quite a few duds in the past, and I don’t see the point in wasting my time. If I don’t feel a connection with the person before we go out…” you shrugged. “Maybe it’s high maintenance, but I’d rather be that than miserable.”
He nodded and stayed silent. A quick glance over at him showed that he was lost in thought.
As the two of you patrolled, looking for any sign of Klaus, you found yourself wondering more and more about the mysterious “Number Two.” But after several hours, even though you were enjoying your, mostly silent, time together, you were growing frustrated.
“This is hopeless,” you groaned. “It’s going to take the two of us days to canvass the whole city, and if he’s been checked in somewhere, we still won’t find him.”
“You’re probably right, Y/N,” Diego said with a nod. “Let’s grab some lunch and then we can start—”
“Calling the usual rehab centers,” you finished at the same time as him. “Sounds like an excellent plan.”
He smiled softly at you and reached out, as if offering you his hand to hold before quickly retreating and shoving them into his pockets.
“Do you like Greek? I know a great Greek diner nearby,” he offered.
~
After that day, you found yourself spending more time with Diego, realizing your initial distaste was misguided, a snap judgement that he really didn’t deserve. One afternoon, Klaus caught you chatting with his brother on the phone, he had called to invite you to one of his boxing matches, and twirling the cord between your fingers as you did.
“Oh. My. God.” he cried out, slapping his hands to either side of his face with exaggerated shock. “You liiiike him.”
“Shut up,” you hissed, punching him lightly, a hot blush creeping across your face at the thought of Diego potentially hearing.
“What was that?” he asked, voice tinny through the receiver.
“Nothing, just your idiot brother.”
You heard him chuckled. “I see. Well, anyway, the gym is kinda out of the way so it can be hard to find, so how about I meet you at your place and we can walk there together?”
“You don’t have to do that Diego.”
“But maybe I want to?”
“O-oh,” you stammered, thrown by the warmth in his voice. “Well, in that case, that sounds nice.”
“Good. It’s a date.”
“A date?” you raised your eyebrow even though he couldn’t see it and tried your best to ignore Klaus’s flailing and pumping his fist excitedly in the air.
“Yeah, a date. I’ve gotta run, but I’ll see you later, Y/N.”
“Okay, see you later Diego.”
You were smiling when you hung up the phone, and the warmth in your chest made you feel like you were floating. So much so that you were completely compliant to Klaus dragging you through the apartment the two of you sort of shared, insistent on picking out the “perfect outfit” for you to “stun his brother so hard he drops in shock and awe.”
~
The night of the date, you fidgeted nervously on your couch, bouncing your leg and chewing on the corner of your thumbnail, waiting for Diego to get there. A thousand thoughts a minute ran through your mind and you stomach twisted itself in knots. You tried to tell yourself you were being ridiculous, the two of you had become friends over the past several weeks, and there was no reason to think this evening was going to be any different, just because Diego had said it was going to be a date.
You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t hear the buzzer or notice Klaus rushing to greet his brother until Diego stood in the doorway, trying to get around his brother to say hello.
“If you ever hurt her Diego,” Klaus said sternly, poking an index finger against his brother’s chest, blocking the short hallway of your apartment.
Diego raised an eyebrow as if challenging whether Klaus was actually trying to threaten him.
“If you ever hurt her, my beloved brother or not, I will eat your shoelaces,” Klaus continued, undaunted, eyes narrowed and face the picture of seriousness.
“What?”
“Every single shoelace. Slurp ‘em up like spaghetti. Inconvenient as hell.”
“Klaus, you are my very best friend and I love you,” you interrupted, rising to go and stand by the two, equally unable to get Klaus out from between. “But what the fuck? Please don’t eat shoelaces in my defense. God that is the weirdest sentence I’ve ever said…”
“Yeah, and we can’t afford to take to the vet and have them removed when they tangle around your intestines,” Diego added, rolling his eyes. “We’ll have to just put you down.”
“Unsettling and inconveniencing my family and dying? Best day ever!” Klaus gave a little clap and jump of joy, which quickly morphed into an apologetic look when he glanced over his shoulder and saw your glare.
“Well, I’ll get out of your way. You two crazy kids have fun now,” he said cheerfully, as if the previous conversation hadn’t happened. “Don’t do anything I would do!”
You rolled your eyes as he sidled past back to the living room, giving you an affectionate pat on the shoulder as he did.
Diego felt his jaw drop as he took in your outfit. It wasn’t quite your usual style, but was enough like you to not feel like you were trying so hard. And you looked stunning in it.
“Wow,” he eventually breathed, causing you to chuckle and rub the back of your neck nervously. “You look…I don’t know if I’m going to be able to focus on the fight with you looking like that.”
“It was Klaus’s idea,” you mumbled. “I know it’s a bit much…”
“No!” he assured, a little too quickly. “It’s great…you look great.”
You shot him a slightly flirtatious smile. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” You let your eyes rove over his tight-fitted jeans and Henley, in black of course.
“C-c-can I kiss you?” he stammered, stepping closer. “For luck?”
You responded by snaking your arms around his neck and leaning in to press your lips to his. He groaned into the kiss, hands coming to rest on your hips, fingers digging into your sides and pulling you closer. Gently, he backed you up the few steps necessary to pin you against your wall, running his tongue over your lower lip at the same time. You let out a little gasp as you bumped into the plaster and he took the opportunity to slip in and begin exploring your mouth.
Grasping his hair in your fist, you eventually pulled him away from you to drink deeply of the air, trying to ignore the wave of desire that shot through you when the action made him moan hungrily.
“We should stop,” you panted.
“Why?” he responded, equally out of breath and fighting your grip to kiss the side of your neck.
“You have a match to get to. Wouldn’t this be so much better as a reward for winning it?” You teased lightly. “And somewhere your brother wasn’t…?”
He laughed. “You have a point there. I want you all to myself.”
“Well then get a move on. The sooner we get out of here, the better.”
He threaded his fingers through yours as he led you through the door.
“Don’t wait up!” you called back over your shoulder to Klaus, making Diego groan once more and you smirked. Tonight was shaping up to be even better than you could have hoped.
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recurring-polynya · 4 years
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So you ever try to wrap your brain around Yachiru being Kenpachi's zanpakutō? It seems to violate all known (manga-canon) mechanics.
So, to be honest, that particular plot twist hit the note in my head that says “Yes, this is pleasing and not entirely unexpected to me!” I think it’s the fact that the idea of his zanpakutou being embodied this whole time made more sense than ::gestures vaguely at all of Yachiru:: this.
I don’t exactly remember, but I think I may have been spoiled on this one--I got spoiled on a lot of the Bleach endgame, and that always affects the way a plot twist lands, so please take my opinion with that grain of salt.
I think there were a lot of hints along the way-- that although Yachiru is very, very strong and somewhat bloodthirsty herself, she always seems more interested in seeing Zaraki gets the fights that he wants, and watching them raptly, deeply invested in his happiness. She doesn’t actually act like a child, she acts like someone would expect a child to act-- mischievous and silly, but she does not grow and explore or, most importantly, assert her personhood, the way a real person does. She never seeks to grow stronger, or to fight for herself. She wears the lieutenant’s badge and goes to the meetings, which she neither complains about, nor takes any interest in. A real child would either not put up with this shit, or seek to be taken seriously in this role (try to imagine young Byakuya, for example, being named a lieutenant). Most importantly: She is constantly trying to give him directions and they end up lost every time. We thought it was a running gag, but it was a metaphor.
It also seems to me that the other child characters in Bleach grow and age at times when their powers are developing. We see Rukia, Renji, Gin, Rangiku, and Shuuhei as powerless children, and then they age to teens when their powers develop. Toshirou is definitely seen as a smaller child in his Rukongai flashbacks, and it’s implied that he is currently at in impasse with his powers, having difficulty with the upper levels of his bankai. Even so, though his body is stuck in an adolescent state, he has the faculties and personality of an adult. Yachiru, if I am figuring things correctly, is older than Rukia and Renji. It seems like she must be an enormous outlier in the Bleach universe, and it’s frankly weird that, say, Yamamoto wouldn’t take a greater interest in her (unless he knows exactly what she is, and I suspect that both he and Unohana both do).
Unless I’ve missed something, we hardly know anything about zanpakutou-spirit dynamics within the Bleach manga canon. As far as I know, we only ever see two-- Zangetsu and Zabimaru. I think it’s safe to say that Zangetsu already violates all known normal mechanics. I also want to point out that I was a lot more pissed when Zangetsu turned out to be Yhwach (or whatever that was, please no one explain it to me I don’t want to think about it). It was telescoped well enough, but it poisoned a character who had always been there for Ichigo as a mentor and source of strength and it gave me the same yucky feeling as when they killed off Han Solo-- I do not like this. This does not feel right or enhance the story.
We don’t get a whole lot of Zabimaru either-- they can manifest on their own, and do so in order to bother Renji. They seem to be a fairly simplistic being-- they want to fight and be strong and are impatient with Renji’s (very reasonable) desire to take a minute to think things out.
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Nobody asked, but I feel like it might be helpful if I unleashed my personal headcanon on Where Zanpakutou Come From. In the Zanpakutou Spirits Arc, the episodes are prefaced with a voiceover that says that zanpakutou are born and die with their shinigami, and I am sorry, anime filler arc, I reject this. One of my favorite Bleach phrases, which seems like it should it could have come from some angsty hurt-comfort fanfic, is “There are no ghosts in Soul Society.” (it actually came from a filler arc episode where Ikkaku, Nanao and Hanatarou get lost in the sewer). But I think there are! When shinigami are killed and reborn in the Living World, presumably, it is as a normal human with no powers. I like to think that some essence of their power and their zanpakutou are left behind, free-floating, nameless, formless, but with some distillation of the principles that guided their shinigami’s life. This ur-zanpakutou attaches itself to a young, spiritually strong person, and becomes intertwined with their soul. They develop a form based on the thoughts and memories and hopes and fears of their shinigami, and their names and specific powers are born of the union of zanpakutou and shinigami. Noble souls often get zanpakutou passed down from previous generations, who take the form of a grandparent, or form that their grandparents zanpakutou had. For kids from the Rukon, I think that most zanpakutou spirits takes the form of a barely remembered mother from the Living World, or a particularly frightening woodcut from a favorite storybook. As an aside, this theory also explains why almost every Rukongonian shinigami we see died as a child-- it’s easier for a free floating zanpakutou spirit to bond with a child’s developing psyche. It’s also a reminder of one more way that Zaraki himself is an outlier.
Zaraki is a really messed-up guy, I think we’re all on the same page there. Like, he just really needs a shit-ton of therapy, I can’t even start. He was a feral murder-child, and I think he saw Unohana as a mother-figure who rejected him. Unlike Ichigo, who needs a wise, experienced mentor to guide him through his warrior journey, Zaraki needs validation that he is a Normal Guy with Normal Murder Thoughts and Feelings, so his subconscious shapes his zanpakutou into another feral murder-child to love him and be his family. Zaraki doesn’t know how little girls act-- pink hair seems good? Stuffy people hate kids, right? It makes perfect sense that Yachiru would go fuck around with Byakuya. Zaraki finds all of Yachiru’s antics hilarious-- the names she makes up for people, the way she climbs all over Ichigo, her general proclivity for going ham. Zaraki is an incredibly simplistic person. My favorite Zaraki parts of Bleach are where you think he is about to get real deep and have some sort of insight, and it turns out to be “I’m gonna stab you, but I’m gonna use both hands” or this entire problem-solving process I’ve pasted in below, which ends in him finding Tousen by letting Tousen stab him. He’s just stupid, bless his heart, and having a murder gremlin for a guiding light just... tracks?
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The weirdest thing about Yachiru is that she has her own zanpakutou. I spent about 10 minutes thinking about it, though, and decided that she’s just a recursion, and that the weird feeling I get thinking about her is exactly the way I feel about writing a function that calls itself, and I find that little paradoxical frisson to be kinda cool, actually. The second weirdest thing about Yachiru is that there does not seem to be any connection, thematically, between Yachiru and Nozarashi. After he finally learns his sword’s name, I would have liked to see Zaraki have a trip to his inner world (like Ichigo does, in the midst of battle) where he meets an adult spirit who has qualities of both Yachirus (which he absolutely does not recognize) and that there is some interesting explanation of Nozarashi’s special abilities. To be honest, I couldn’t even remember what they were. Kenpachi has always been one of the strongest Bleach characters and so much about him is just iconic, and then his bankai was just completely bland and unmemorable, with no symbolism whatsoever. Lame.
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themidnightfarmer · 4 years
Text
Wingman || Lydia & Jared
Timing: Before the poisoning.
Location: Faetal Attraction
Tagging: @inspirationdivine & @themidnightfarmer
Description: Lydia and Jared take a night on the town.
Triggers: Violence tw
 Lydia buzzed with excitement. If you looked closely, you could see the tiniest blur around her ears, where the glamour didn’t quite stretch to cover her jewellery. It didn’t matter, though, because in a minute she wouldn’t have to wear the glamour at all. When Jared had told her he’d never been to faetal attraction, Lydia had sworn to fix it at once, so here she was, waiting for him just outside the door. “Jared! It’s wonderful to see you again!” Especially when she wasn’t frightened for her life. 
Jared wasn’t quite sure what to expect. He’d heard about the place, but up until recently he’d had no fae friends to go with. Anytime he’d gotten close either he was with a human friend that had been given a serious stink eye by the person at the door taking admissions, or he’d started to feel that tingly feeling in his fingertips. A feeling that until now had been unknown to him. However, this time, as he’d approached Lydia the feeling was known. He was with fae. His smile reflected his own excitement. “Hey!” He greeted her exuberantly. “You too! This was a great idea!”
Lydia smirked, tilting her head. “I can’t believe you haven’t been here before. You’re in for such a treat. That finger tingling of yours is going to be intense tonight. There are a few non-fae in here, but it’s mostly people like us in there.” She offered her arm for him to take, before leading him into the bustling, warm club. Her chest rang at all the other fae, in a technicolour crowd of every type of appendage on view. Lydia dropped her glamour as soon as she’d paid for them both to enter. “Where do you want to sit?”
He’d been such a hermit for so long, unaware of all the joys of being a fae, that Jared was fully dazed as they entered. He stumbled over the lip in the doorway and his eyes couldn’t stop moving. Person to person. It was incredible. “Wow.” he said less than eloquently. Looking down at Lydia in awe he just blinked at her for a moment dumbfounded. She was still Lydia, but without her glamour she was a whole new image to take in. His mouth worked soundlessly before Jared finally caught up with himself. “Anywhere you’d like. At the bar?”
Lydia caught him as he stumbled, looking up at his with a concerned smile until he had righted himself again. Watching him was almost as intoxicating as watching the crowd. This was how she wished Regan was. Full of wonder and excitement, rather than fear and doubt. Lydia followed his gaze to a woman with fluffy moth wings, a man whose wispy dark skin gave way to glorious antlers, an individual with skin like glass, more than a couple folks with horns. All sorts. Without her own glamour, Lydia literally glowed, her brown and yellow beetle-like shells shifting as she walked, dark translucent wings poking out between them. Her ears stretched to the tops of her head and were adorned with dozens of sparkling gems. “Like what you see so far? Bar it is. What do you want to drink?”
Dropping his own glamour wasn’t even a thought to Jared, he simply had forgotten that it was an option in public. He was so unused to it, even in his own home he was rarely seen without it. Although that might have been just in the hopes that someone might come to visit at any time. Even with their arms linked, Jared lagged behind Lydia as she led the way through the crowds. Watching her wings shift in the light and noticing her hair tangle lightly over a gem in her ear. He could see why she could be called a muse. He beamed and pulled out a stool for her when they arrived at the bar. “Let me buy you a drink, yeah? What would you like to drink? Pick your poison.”
He looked around like a toddler at the lightshow, and Lydia couldn’t help but giggle at his wonder. Not to make fun of his perspective, but to delight in him as much as he delighted in the space. She waved Julie over, one of the few humans in the entire establishment, and one of the few Lydia ever voluntarily interacted with. “Oh, in which case, I’ll have a red wine. They do a lovely Sauvignon here,” Lydia said, smiling warmly at his offer. “You know that you don’t have to look human here, right? There are no wardens, no dangers here. Everyone here is community. Cousins, even.” 
“Make that two large glasses.” Jared ordered of Julie before taking the seat beside his company for the evening. A sheepish grin took over his face and he slowly let his human skin fade. Black veins appeared first, followed by slightly glowing purple eyes. And then the horns, all four of them sprouting at once. His skin settled to grey and he shivered slightly. “Feels really weird.” the nymph commented, wiggling his shoulders as the usual soft connection to his charges doubled in strength. He gave out a laugh and rocked on his chair in wonder. “I feel like I’m doing something bad.” he admits with the air of a child who wasn’t even sorry that all the cookies were gone.
Lydia had seen him without glamour before, but not nearly long enough to truly and fully appreciate it. He looked eerie and dramatic, and all the more beautiful for it. From the grey pallor of his skin, to the distracting amethyst in his eyes. Like this, he couldn’t be mistaken for something human, and it made Lydia completely breathless. Even without her glamour, if one squinted one might consider Lydia human looking, like you could say for Regan and Deirdre. People like Felix, Morelia and Jared were completely different. “That is a tragedy. You should feel comfortable in your natural skin. You look beautiful like this.” 
It was a rush. Jared could feel a lot more of his connection to his creatures, and it buzzed in him like an old radio springing to life. He ended up shrugging his shoulders once again, as if shrugging into a coat and not just his natural form, just to get used to it in less high stress situations than he was used to. “Is that how you feel? Comfortable? I mean in a …. Like a  uh-” he struggled for the words to express what he wanted to know for a moment before nodding. “Comfortable rather than like you’re high? Is it something you get used to? Is it just me that feels like i just took a belt that was too tight off after dinner?”
“Yes, I feel more comfortable like this that with a glamour. A glamour takes concentration,” Lydia replied as Julie returned with their glasses of red wine, setting them in front of her. “Put it on my tab,” she said, otherwise ignoring the very human bartender. “Wait, when you take off your glamour you feel high? What on earth are you talking about?” Lydia laughed, sipping at her wine. “Like the belt, yes, or taking off a bra, but nothing close to feeling high. How often do you take your glamour off, exactly?”
Jared would have made a noise of disagreement at the mention of a tab, as he’d wanted to buy Lydia a drink. But as it was, he was a little too distracted to do much else than try and keep his feet on the ground. “It feels like Cap has sneezed and zapped me by accident again.” He tried to describe, “But in a good way.” Jared shrugged and smiled lifting the glass of wine towards hers to clink their glasses together. “Not often.It can fall when I sleep sometimes, but mostly I can keep it on non stop for a few days.”
“Sorry, you’re going to need to explain that. Who is Cap? Why would him sneezing zap you?” Lydia smiled despite her confusion, because the young nymph was ever so charming, even in his strange ways. She clinked glasses with him, before her eyes widened even further. “You sleep with it. Why? Do you have a partner or friend that lives with you who doesn’t know?” 
“Oh, Cap, as in Capacitor. He’s a new addition to my kids. He’s a Raiju I bought from some weird guy online. He’s a sickly little thing I think he’s allergic to dust. But he zaps.” Jareds knees were bouncing and he was speaking animatedly. The effects of taking the cap off of his body had him practically fizzing. He took a long sip of the wine and then set the glass down. “I used to. Grew up in a family of human deniers. There was something on me until my eighth birthday that helped hide me I think. But it wore off I guess so I learned to glamour fast. Endless trips to the hospital about my skin and all that you know? Not anymore though, Guess habits die hard. The only people who stay the night both know. Just don’t want to spook them I guess as well.” He smiled widely at Lydia. “It’s not a big deal, I just didn’t realize it had been so long being normal.”
“Capacitor? That is darling,” Lydia smiled, and nodded as if she knew what a Raiju was. Apart from, of course, that it apparently zapped things. Which meant that it was likely another creature she likely wanted to avoid, no matter how sweetly Jared smiled around his wine glass. As he explained his childhood, Lydia’s smile fell slightly, dripping into something closer to sympathy.  “Right. Of course. I’m sorry.” All the same, he was grinning, bouncing and floating with his energy. Even if she flinched at him calling it normal. “This is you being normal. Look, there.” Lydia pointed behind him. “That Nix certainly looks interested in you from over here.”
“He’s a sweet little guy. I’m lucky he wanted to stay after I bought him.” Jared waved a hand as if dismissing her apology. “It was what it was. It was tough, but I’m happy with how it all turned out. Inherited a farm, and got to grow up in the weirdest town in the state.” The nymph looked over his shoulder recklessly, before whipping back around embarrassed when he heard Lydia's reasoning for having him look. His cheeks warmed to a slightly darker tone and he took another drink of his wine just for something to do with his hands. He laughed a little and figetted. “Right, I don’t even know all the rules anything like this involves. I assume there are fae dating rules and all sorts I have no idea about. I really do know almost nothing.”
“You bought him to free him, then?” Lydia asked curiously, looking him over anew.  “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re their nymph.” She nodded at his explanation, with a small smile, and opted not to comment on it again, because family could be complicated even for the best of reasons. There were members of her family Lydia didn’t talk about either. “What a beautiful farm it is too,” Lydia said instead. She grinned as he looked behind himself, his cheeks and ears flushing darker. All that nervous, skittish energy had to go somewhere, and Lydia chuckled as he drank frantically from his drink. “I think most rules don’t stretch much further than not having sex with humans, but not all fae here even agree with that.  Then some extend the rule to not having sex with other supernatural species. Dating really isn’t that complicated.” Lydia glanced back to the Nix with a small laugh. “She’s very determined to catch your gaze.”
“The advert made me feel like if he was truly what was advertised, then he couldn’t go to someone who would use him as described. He was so sickly when I got him, I was right about this one.” Jared confirmed. “They all need protecting, even if they don’t stay long.” He wasn’t a novice in dating, he’d had a few relationships, but he fell completely out of touch. It had admittedly been a few years since his last attempt, and adding fae rules into the mix made him even more nervous than he would have been normally. “No humans huh?” he echoed before adding “You sure it’s not you she’s interested in?” He asked, determined not to look around for fear of making a fool of himself. So instead, his fingers tapped on the bartop, and his knee continued to bounce with unspent energy. 
“That’s incredibly nobel of you. I know you’re their nymph, but it is still astonishing,” Lydia said, with real admiration glinting in her eyes. She swivelled her glass before finishing it off.  “Not all fae agree on that one either,” Lydia said airily, as if just recalling Beatrice’s existence didn’t make her stomach want to turn. As if she didn’t deliberately avoid thinking about Deirdre’s relationship prior to Morgan’s death. Lydia turned her attention back to the Nix with a much warmer smile. “Maybe she’s interested in the both of us, you don’t know.” Lydia chuckled warmly. “I’ll stop winding you up, shall I?” Lydia nudged him with her elbow. 
Jared was coming down off of the initial high of being free, and was settling into a warm appreciation for the feeling instead. “Cap is almost domesticated, they tried really hard with him. So while I would have liked him to be normal, it’s good he stayed. Not sure he’d have made it on his own. I just want what's best for them is all.” He shrugged but still bounced his knee and even brought his thumb up to bite at the nail on this thumb as she teased him. The nymph spared a sneaky quick glance back at the Nix before turning back and huffing a breath at Lydia when she nudged him. “It’s so easy it’s almost rude to wind me up like that.” he pouted at her. “Don’t take advantage of the blond.” he tutted, hiding his smile poorly.
Lydia’s lips twitched slightly. “That’s a shame. I don’t know much about the beasts and creatures that share our world, but the wild ones should always be wild. No matter how frightening they might be. I’m glad he has you.” Lydia laughed as he glanced back over at the nix, as if one last glance would answer his questions. “You’re right, I’m being ever so terrible to you.” Lydia winked, spinning her empty wine glass between her fingers. “You’ll have to forgive me.” She looked around at all these beautiful, familiar faces, and her heart rang loud and clearly. This was as much a home as any. “Do you have plans for the upcoming fairy ring season?”
“I’ll forgive you for now I suppose.” Jared said poking his tongue out at her childishly in response following this up with a laugh. His eyes flickered around the bar again when Lydias did the same. He still felt like he was doing something so dangerous and bad, and yet, everyone here was doing the exact same. It was so strange, but also too invigorating to want to leave. “Oh I usually just haul up on the farm for a while. Lock the gates and text my friends I’m going on migration. It’s usually better that way. I don’t do very well with it.” he laughs uncomfortably. “I’ve gotten carried away one too many times when I was young.”
Lydia laughed, pushing his shoulder as he stuck his tongue out at her. “I’m not convinced anyone does well with it. We all end up seeing far too much of each other, in every meaning of the phrase, humans and other species get annoyed, it’s a whole time.” A human had died the last time Lydia had been in a fairy circle, which didn’t altogether bother her, but she did want to spare her friends that did care such troubles. Fortunately, there were many, many activities one could get up to that didn’t involve murder or even torture. Some would almost certainly make Jared flush bright red.. “I don’t think getting carried away is to bad a thing, but I know not everyone agrees.”
He thought he’d picked up on what she was putting down and Jared blinked before his voice lowered into a whisper whilst leaning in. “So being naked is like a full thing is it? Like for real, the urge isn’t just like…. Me being a weirdo?” He’d met so few fae, that anything to do with the upcoming season he usually kept firmly to himself. Everything that came with it always seemed so odd, but he was slowly learning that this mindset was definitely more human, and he most certainly should abandon it. “I guess….never let myself enjoy it, or at least not for a good few years. How do you…?...but also keep it a secret?” He wanted to know everything. He had so much catching up to do. “You seem to do all this so gracefully, one day maybe I’ll be half as good at being ...normal?” He laughed noticing her glass empty and trying to catch the bartenders eye for another, smiling warmly when they filled Lydia's glass again.
“What, no! Everyone gets naked. It’s a whole thing. It’s very freeing, to be honest.  Everything about the fairy rings is freeing. No holding back, no compunctions, just joy and thrill,” Lydia giggled, a little too loud as she leant in to match his whispers. “Well, that part is tricky,” she agreed. “I know some people handle it better than others and feel they have more control. I usually limit my social media, and I don’t party with non-fae, which limits the exposure. I try not to be naked during the day, and keep things safe.” She rolled her eyes at his self deprecating nature. “You’ll learn, darling. You are still so young. You have centuries to learn. Mushroom season isn’t always for everyone, either.”
She described it so wonderfully. It sounded amazing to be free like that, to just throw away the shame that humans taught themselves and just be how you wanted to. In a smaller way that’s how Jared felt about being without his glamour in this bar. He’d been missing out by not knowing how to identify other fae, that was very clear to him now. “Gotta unlearn all the human things first, but I’m getting there,” He lifted his glass and tapped the wim with her now refilled one. “But hey, tell me your plans. You sound like you’ll have all sorts of great things going on. You have people to party with?” He sipped his wine and paused before asking more tentatively. “More friends with wings?” Was it rude to comment on another faes appearance? He had no idea, but her wings were definitely catching his eyes every time they shifted behind her. 
“You will get there,” Lydia agreed with an encouraging smile. He gave her hope for Regan too. She picked up her wine, swirling it as she thought about his answer. “The problem is the increased hunter presence in town. I tend to keep early august pretty easy. There aren’t as many rings around now anyway. If I happen to find myself in one, then that’s of course wonderful, but I don’t plan any until late august. From then? Normally, nonstop party until Halloween. Parties, with friends, with humans to prank, with the local leprechauns, whomever is available.” She smiled at him, wondering why he’d asked. “Not necessarily. Most of my friends here don’t have any, as it happens.”
Non stop partying sounded like a great time. Jared just knew he would never manage that, even if it wasn’t from the very start of the season.He loved his farm, but maintaining the place took a lot more than people realized. He’d be lucky to have even a few days free to parry without worry. “Wings are so pretty, but the idea is terrifying. Being able to wander away when you're high is already such a risk, but with wings you could just take off. And then flying itself seems so scary. Can you actually fly?” It seems the wine was loosening him up. He worried he’d overstepped again, but this time regretfully after he’d already said it.
“The idea of having wings is terrifying?” Lydia repeated, staring at him with wide eyes in confusion. “What? Jared, what?” She laughed, standing up. She looked around herself, making sure there was enough room behind her before she opened up the brown and yellow striped shells that stretched from her shoulder to the back of her knees. They raised up behind her until they were nearly shoulder heigh, where her wings rose up to her side. She was drawing more than a little attention and her wings began to trill and beat  as her feet lifted from the ground. She reached up to tap the ceiling, before coming back down. 
“No flying inside,” Julia said, and Lydia rolled her eyes and imitated her mockingly.
“My point is, I can’t fly any higher than I just did. I’m not going to buzz off into the night sky.”
“Yeah flying just seems wild.” Jared responded. He watched in awe as Lydia stretched out her wings and took to the air. She was up and down before he could even fully register what she was showing him. He nodded solemnly and then quickly his face took on a cheeky grin. "Oh so you can't fly far, you'd need strong wings like a Valravn to get anywhere in life huh? Pretty wings like yours can’t carry you far.” And while Lydia would see the teasing smile, it seems the tone was completely lost on a gancanagh trying to get another beer behind the nymphs back. Jared was woefully unprepared as he was grabbed and yanked off his barstool forcibly. 
“No, they can’t,” Lydia agreed, flicking them happily all the same. They were beautiful, and glowed with the same light that the rest of her did. They didn’t need to take her into the skies, just flutter her up into the branches of trees, and let her hover as she danced under the gaze of the mushrooms. Lydia didn’t notice the gancanagh either, not until it was much too late.
“You insulting her wings?” He asked gruffly. “You goddamn flatbacksh, no reshpect!”
“Sir, you’re drunk,” Lydia said, standing up in warning. 
“Better drunk than him,” The gancanagh said, aiming a swing for Jared’s head. 
His shirt was being held tight in the gancanaghs fist. Although he was taller than the other, Jared was completely lost with shock and had stumbled instead of finding his feet. This ended up putting the nymph at the mercy of the other fae. Jared raised his hands in panicked surrender but the other didn’t seem interested at all. His fist made contact and Jared could only tip his head back and take it in the jaw so that the drunk didn’t shatter his hand on the nymphs horns. Despite the threat, he didn’t want to cause lasting damage to someone standing up for Lydia. Jared wasn’t sure if he had been offensive or not. Addled by the punch and the drink, but perhaps he should have had better sense than to call himself stupid under his breath. 
“Stupid? I’ll show you stupid you bastard.” The gancanagh dumped the nymph onto the floor and set to work rearranging his no good disrespectful face. 
Jared brought his arms up finally to try and ward the other off. Stronger than him,but not by much he didn’t make very much headway.
Lydia jumped back with a yelp as the fight fell out. “Stop this!” She shouted, her voice jumping an octave and decibel. “Stop hitting him!” She winced, cringing away as Jared was punched in the jaw. Oh, lord, she hated violence. Fae were inevitably better than this, they had to be! They settled disputes with their tongues not their fists! “Stop this!” She yelped again, swatting the gancanagh’s dragonfly wings with her own firefly ones. It was enough to make him stop, if only because it was so rare for fae to ever touch each other’s wings as strangers, considered off limits and taboo. Especially for flatbacks, but wing-to-wing contact wasn’t quite as egregious. “Stop!” Lydia yelled again, grabbing the gancanagh’s arm and pulling him back with strength that didn’t seem like it ought to fit in her small frame. 
Jared was trying to do some damage limitation. As he was being punched he curled up, arms over his face to try and stop the other doing too much. But he couldn’t do anything until the gancanagh let up. As soon as Lydia had touched wings with the guy he froze to look over his shoulder at her. This was the chance Jared took to help Lydia push the guy off of him. Once free to struggle out from under the bulkier fae, Jared shoved him to the ground and found himself at Lydias side a lot more banged up than he’d expected to be on a chill night drinking with a new friend. And he felt enormously guilty about it. “I’m sorry.” He said to her instantly. He couldn’t believe he’d said something offensive enough to be punched. What sort of idiot fae was he? They’d gotten the attention of the whole bar at this point and Jared hunched over as the bouncer came to remove them all.
 “No more tonight. Go home.” The bouncer said, hauling the drunk gancanagh to his feet.
She wasn’t too shocked when Julia, snitching human, called the bouncer over, although Lydia did roll her eyes, extremely pointedly. As they walked back through the door, her glamour slipped back on like she might a coat. “Why? You didn’t offend me, my dear, I don’t even know what a veal-ravine is.” The gancanagh glowered at them, before stalking off. Lydia chuckled. “You know, I suspect that might just have been the start of the fairy ring season. What a ringing welcome to the incoming season. At least it can only go up from here.”  She winked at him, before looking him over. “Are you hurt?” She asked softly. 
Jared followed Lydias lead once again, his own glamour feeling a little bit like that feeling when a child was told playtime was over. It was back to feeling normal now that they were on the street. “I really thought I had considering…” His words trailed off as he watched the gancanagh walk away sheepishly. “First bird that popped into my head, skeletal raven, strong and amazing creatures. uh…. I didn’t really think it through.” Maybe describing the creature wasn’t the best way forward. Jared had to laugh when she spoke so positively about being thrown out of a bar. The nymph shook his head “Had a lot worse than a beat down, it’ll be okay.” Any discolouration was already covered by his glamour. Changing your skin so much tended to mean you covered an awful lot more than people thought. “Didn’t mean to get us kicked out, can I walk you home?” He offered her an arm. “In compensation.”
Lydia’s eyebrows vanished into her hairline at his explanation as to what, exactly, veal-ravines were. “As… fascinating as those sound, I think I’ll stick to my wings over anything skeletal.” She laughed softly, falling in step with him as she took his arm. Even in heels, her head barely reached his shoulder - they must have made quite the pair as they walked through the town. “Ah, c’est la vie. Company with you was all I was really looking for.” She said with a simple shrug. Faetal Attraction was the one losing out. “However, I must say, Mr. Nymph of Vicious Creatures, you really weren’t very vicious in there.”
“Oh yeah for sure, for sure.” Jared agreed on the spot. “Your wings are wonderful I was just trying to joke around...guess I’ll have to work on my humour too.” he chuckled accompanied by a shrug. Nothing he could do now, but try and remember wings were definitely a no go topic in public. The nymph makes a noise of disapproval and bumps his hip into her. “Hey now, just because my kids are vicious doesn’t mean I have to be. I’m soft so my kids can do the damage. Plus I thought I’d messed up, wouldn’t have been fair.” He pouted at her pitifully. A master of the puppy dog look as he’d been able to replicate the eyes of one of his bonedoggle pups when they were whining. “You absolutely overpowered the guy though, my hero.”
Lydia snickered as he hip bumped her. “You are a big softie. Not the only one in town, either.” He pouted at her, and Lydia resisted his puppy eyes for a whole second before giving him a light push. “That isn’t playing fair.” Lydia laughed as they reached the causeway, the sea still and soothing on either side of them. “Oh gosh. If he’d thrown a punch at me, I would have gone down like a stack of dominoes. We’re a strong species, but that doesn’t mean I know what to do with it, beyond lifting couches to clean under them.”
“Well being kind doesn’t cost a thing, so maybe I’m just trying to lead by example. See if it’ll rub off on the people who need to know that the most...like not letting that drunk guy shatter his hand on my horns. Boy would he have really not been happy with that.” Jared laughed and stumbled sideways slightly before pulling himself back in with their linked arms. “Ah but why be fair when you can win by being cute?” The thought of the other fae being punched didn’t sit well with Jared, she was so small, not defenseless, definitely not weak, but the ganacash had been rather huge in comparison. “You clean under couches?” He asked jokingly to brush past the image of her being knocked out in his mind. The breeze was pretty nice as they continued to walk. He was letting her lead the way considering he had no idea where she lived, but it seemed to be a really nice area.
“Being kind cost you a punch!” Lydia disagreed vehemently. “Although no, I suppose punching your horns would be rather… unpleasant. Then again, he oughtn’t have been aiming for your horns in the first place.” She rolled her eyes, although he was entirely correct - Jared was cute as hell, in both meanings of the word. “Well, I normally have a cleaner in twice a week to do it for me,” Lydia winked, leading them towards Harris island. “But yes, should the need arise. Are you saying you don’t?”
“Ahh what's a punch in a bar every now and then. Maybe the guy thought horns were sensitive or something. They’re absolutely not, but drunk brain can get to you if you’re not careful.” Jared reasoned for the guy who’d clocked him in the face. “Ohhh fancy, a cleaner. If I could afford one I don’t think they’d be too pleased with the state of the place, even after Nell and Blanche moved in and out again.” The nymph laughed. “I didn’t really think about lifting the couches, I just sort of...sweep around it? Probably harbouring some cute new kids under there soon. Dust bunnies are adorable.” He nudged her playfully. “You should let one move in.”
“Drunk brain is no excuse for such…. Abhorrent behaviour. Jared, you are far too kind to the man who punched you,” Lydia said, her affectionate smile softening the comment. She rolled her eyes, not about to be shamed for her well earned wealth - she’d worked hard for it! So had her humans. “That’s the great thing about cleaners. You pay them not to judge you.” At his suggestions, Lydia couldn’t help but pull a mildly disgusted face. “Jared, you could be the cutest person in the whole town, and you would still never be able to persuade me to let a dust bunny move in. Having a dog around is bad enough, in terms of the mess.” Lydia stopped in front of her mansion, modern and gleaming with its large windows on every floor. “Unfortunately, this is my stop, and I must bid you goodnight, my dear.”
The nymph waved her worries away. What was done was done, and truly Jared had no hard feelings for the ganacash. Maybe the guy was too quick to jump the gun, but clearly he had some bad experience with people talking about wings. The change on Lydias face however sent Jared into a whirlwind of laughter. “Woah really? Not even if I do the puppy dog eyes? Dust bunnies are adorable!” He was only teasing, even if everything he said he did consider true. But his outlook on creatures would never match up to other peoples. He’d come to accept that. Stopping at the door Jared looked up at the house and grinned. “Nice place. Goodnight Lydia. Thanks for taking me out, and not letting that guy bash me in.” Jared was a trail of light laughter as he walked back the way they’d come, waving at Lydia all the way until he was gone from her sight. 
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i-just-love-spop · 4 years
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For the OC asks, could you do 2 for Clover, 26 for Arrow, 14 for Sagi, 34 for Thorn, 48 for Finn, 38 for Leo, 71 for Angie, and 3 for Willow? Also, thanks again for sending me asks for my characters.
For context: Arrow, Angie and Sagi are my Glimbow-kids, Leo and Finn are my Catradora-kids and Clover, Thorn and Willow are three of my Scorfuma-kids.
Other characters mentioned: Kohana is another one of my Scorfuma-kids, Sirena is one of my Seamista-kids and Eira is Frosta’s adopted daughter.
Here are the questions again if anyone wants to ask anything else.
2. Do they have a fear of an animal? If so, what animal?
Yes, he does. Clover is afraid of birds, especially really big ones. There’s no specific reason for this, at least none he can place, but he just finds them kind of terrifying for some reason. He had a lot of nightmares about being pecked at as a kid, and he’s still startled by big birds when he grows older.
It also takes him some time to get used to Angie because of this. When she’s flying around, the sound of her giant wings flapping freaks him out quite a bit.
26. Have they ever been in a physical fight before? If so, with who? Who won?
Arrow actually gets into a lot of fights – most of them accidentally. She’s not one to deliberately pick fights under normal circumstances, but she often ends up in situations where they just can’t be avoided, especially when she’s with Sirena. They’re both sensible people most of the time, but Sirena is very inquisitive and keeps probing people even when it’s obvious that they don’t appreciate her digging into stuff that’s not really her business, and she’s also not good at biting back sarcastic comments when they’re out of place, which gets her in trouble often, and then Arrow gets in trouble along with her most of the time. The fact that Arrow has a tendency to be a bit too sassy for her own good usually also doesn’t help defuse the situations they get into.
Who wins might depend, but she’s more likely to loose, at least when it comes to physical fights – she has won a couple of times, but she’s not that great with hand-to-hand-combat outside of training situations (she and Sirena fight in training regularly, and whoever looses will not hear the end of it for at least an entire week, but that doesn’t really count because they just kind of know the way the other moves after a couple of years, which of course isn’t the case in regular fights). She’s more the “if possible let’s blind them and get out of here before things get serious”-type of person, and if that’s not a possibility, she will still choose using magic to fight from a distance over brawls any day.
There’s one particularly bad incident when she’s about sixteen where she and Sirena investigate some strange activity in the Crimson Waste, and once again Sirena cannot keep her mouth shut and they end up in a fight, which is especially problematic because there is no water anywhere near them that Sirena could use for self-defense. The criminals corner them pretty quickly, forcing them into hand-to-hand-combat. And the two girls lose. Badly.
14. What is a pet peeve of theirs?
People. Being. Mean. To. Willow.
Also, Sagi really has an issue with unreliable people who don't follow through on promises. He takes promises very seriously and is genuinely hurt when people say they’ll do something for or with him and then don’t do it.
If someone promises too meet him, he’ll expect them to show up and be really upset if they don’t. Being late is fine, but not showing up at all really hurts, even if it’s just out of forgetfulness rather than out of malicious intent.
And sure, he’ll forgive someone after they broke a promise and maybe put on a fake smile, but once you’ve broken a promise without having a good reason to (sometimes things don’t happen as planned, and if the person just couldn’t keep the promise because of something out of their control, that’s fine), he’ll possibly never trust them again the way he used to.
He also doesn’t forgive being lied to very easily, at least if it’s a serious topic.
34. Have they ever broken the law?
No. Thorn I think is the one that’s the least likely to break the law out of all of my characters? She’s the teachers’ favorite student, good-girl kind of person and would never do anything that could potentially harm someone else. She wouldn’t hurt a fly – aside from accidentally stinging people out of reflex if they startle her –, which is ironic, since she’s definitely one of the most powerful kids and also the one that could potentially cause the most damage out of all of them because she’s the only kid that’s connected to more than one Runestone.
The only thing she’s ever done that might be considered law-breaking would be the cake-‘heists’ Arrow pulls with her (and sometimes also Sirena if she’s around), where they sneak into the Bright Moon-kitchen and ‘steal’ cake if one of them is upset for some reason... but nobody actually considers it stealing since Arrow is the princess, and the kitchen staff often just... pretend not to see it when the kids are young but actually deliberately place some cake somewhere they can reach it easily so they don’t climb the furniture and get hurt.
48. What does their room look like?
Finn has a huge bed. Don’t tell anyone, but it actually has the softest mattress in the entire palace because they genuinely like sinking into the mattress unlike their moms.
When they’re practicing a scene for the first time, they spread out the pages in order all over the bed and read every page in a different position and with a different voice.
They also have a really large wardrobe. This is because they have tons of different clothes – both regular and costumes – because they love dressing up in different ways to play different characters. It’s not quite Double Trouble’s shapeshifting abilities, but it’s close enough. If they can fool someone in Bright Moon into thinking they’re someone else than Finn, they’re extremely happy for the rest of the day because that means their acting skills are actually kind of good. They also have the biggest, weirdest wigs and hats you could ever imagine, both because it’s funny to see other people’s reactions to them and because they’re good for cheering people up and making them laugh when they’re in a bad mood, which can be found all over the room. (Honestly, they have so many different clothes that they try on regularly spread out across the furniture of the room that sometimes you wonder if anything is actually inside the wardrobe).
There’s also about three different lamps on the ceiling for different kinds of lighting for when they need to practice scenes – one was a present from the Seamista-family and sort of imitates Mermista’s ‘lightning when I need it for dramatic effects’, one is a mood light that can change color that their moms and their older brother got them together, and one is a straight up spotlight from Double Trouble. Pro tip: don’t turn them on all at once, especially not in addition to the regular ceiling light, unless you want to go blind or crazy or both.
They also have a meditating mat hidden under the bed somewhere that they’ll absolutely only ever use when they’re sure no one is around because they’re too embarrassed to admit they actually kind of enjoy it, as well as tons of childhood toys that are kept in a treasure chest for good memories.
Finn’s also pretty sure they misplaced a knife in the room somewhere because they ‘borrowed’ it from Arrow’s knife throwing target when they needed it to practice for a scene (nobody was hurt, thankfully), and after that, it just kind of... disappeared and was never seen again.
They have a family picture in the nightstand drawer that’s way more precious to Finn than any of the toys they got as a kid could ever be, and beside it is a bracelet that Bow and Glimmer gave them for their very first audition when they were still a little kid that they’ve since worn to all their auditions as a good-luck-charm.
They also have some crafting and sewing supplies lying around because if they can’t find the exact clothes or accessories they have in mind, they might as well make them.
Some posters on the walls cover the burns left there by Kohana when they trained in the room very poorly.
And there’s a waterfall, because this just seems to be a thing in Bright Moon. Finn also has no idea what it’s for.
38. Do they get along with others easily?
Leo has a hard time making friends because he’s pretty shy, and he’s also very shut-in for a while after he’s adopted because he’s pretty traumatized from losing his biological parents.
Aside from that, he is a very sweet little kitten that most people like once they get to know him, and very unlike his parents, he doesn’t really pick fights – although he does sometimes end up in some anyway – or ever make actual enemies (which, admittedly, is kind of easier without the Horde around to ruin everyone’s day).
Sure, there are people who don’t like him – I mean, really, having literally everyone like you would be kind of a reach –, but his friends love him to pieces, and he’s one of those people that rarely ever fight with their friends.
So in general, I would say yes, he does get along with others pretty easily, as long as he can actually bring himself to start a conversation.
There is an exception, however, and that’s if someone he meets is rude to him or his friends right off the bat for no reason. He will not try harder to get this person to like him. He‘ll forget his shyness for a moment, hiss at them and move on.
He won’t waste his time and energy on trying to get along with someone like that.
71. Who is their ride or die?
Angie is actually kind of a fun person for this question because she’s not close with many people – nor does she want to be, she’s never been very comfortable with the idea of a huge friend group – and if she ever lets anyone get close, there’s a good chance she would go to great lengths for them.
Out of her family, her ride or die is definitely Sagi. She gets annoyed by his clinginess sometimes and his enthusiasm can get exhausting to her – especially because she’s not a morning person and she doesn’t appreciate him talking her ear off at seven in the morning because she doesn’t even want to be up already can he please shut up, but they are really close because they’re so close in age and she loves him dearly and is very protective of him. He gets insulted from time to time because a bunch of people find his endless babbling annoying, but while the insults fly over his own head most of the time, there’s a chance said people might get their ass kicked by her later if she overhears it. She also tries to keep a bit of an eye on him whenever she can because she knows how much of a klutz he is and that he has a tendency to get himself into dangerous situations by accident.
Out of her friends, Eira. These two are a bit of an odd match because Angie prefers to go on adventures alone and Eira doesn’t like to go on adventures at all and would rather stay inside all day... but when they met they just kind of clicked. Eira is the only one Angie will actually stay inside and read a book with, and Angie is the only one that can really bring Eira to take risks.
3. What do they wear to bed?
The most important thing for Willow is comfortable clothes. How they look doesn’t matter as much as how they make Willow feel when worn – the fluffier the clothes are, the better. They also prefer long, warm clothes over short ones.
Willow doesn’t get hot very easily, and either way, they prefer being hot at night a lot over being cold (they can’t sleep at all when they’re cold), so they’ll still wear long woolen clothes all through spring and at least during parts of summer.
They really like colorful clothes, especially when they’re a kid, and despite eventually growing to like simpler colors when it comes to the clothes they wear in public, their pajamas always stay really colorful.
They also have a glow-in-the-dark-pajama with stars and planets on it that helps them cope with their fear of the dark.
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lia-jones · 4 years
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Growing Stronger - Chapter Four - Happy Birthday, Andrea! (Andrea’s POV)
Once upon a time, a young American oenologist met a gorgeous Portuguese psychology student in the beautiful city of Oporto. He was a writer for a food and travel magazine, working on an article about the winery she worked at part-time as a tour guide. They spent the three days they were together admiring the vineyards, watching the grapes being pressed, examining the casks where the wine must was left to ferment, and finally, by the end of their journey, they kissed while gazing at the beautiful Douro river, certain that they would never see each other again.
However, life would have it another way. The young American returned to his country, but his heart did not. Much to his dismay, it was beating hard and fast, still at Douro’s riverbank, waiting for his return. He took all the money he had saved, said goodbye to his family and rented a house in the city of Matosinhos, in Portugal, determined to find the beautiful psychology student. They met again and instantly reconnected, her family hated him, they eloped and moved to Lisbon after she graduated. Two years later she was well established as a therapist working at a clinic and furthering her studies, while he was writing for Michelin magazine.
My and Joshua’s story begins about this time. Always the overachiever, Mariana couldn’t have just produced one egg, she had to have two. And Jeremy, always eager to make his wife happy, even if without his knowledge, was happy to oblige and fertilize both. And presto! My mother was pregnant with twins. Fraternal twins, to be exact. A boy and a girl, born on June 11th, the girl first, then the boy, five minutes later.
Despite being fraternal twins, Josh and I had nothing in common. I was short, 5.2 feet, while Josh was practically a giant, almost 6.5 feet. He had my father’s hazel eyes and my mom’s dark hair, while I had brown eyes just like my mother, and light brown hair with a few golden highlights, resembling my father. Josh was loud, scattered and somewhat hot-blooded, but funny, witty and kind. He never had any problem making friends, even adults loved his perky attitude. I was more on the shy side growing up, always more interested in my own thing than actually in socializing. Most people didn’t believe we were related, let alone twins. Josh would always correct them with pride. And if anyone even dared to hurt me, they would meet his wrath.
That’s the thing with twins. The moment you are born together, you are best friends for life. It’s like a sacred bond is formed still in the womb, and it can never be broken. A sense of companionship and loyalty, a telepathic connection, something beyond comprehension that only a twin can understand, and that surpassed every downside of having a sibling sharing your birthday… and pretty much everything else.
This bond can be incredibly precious, particularly when you’re in a funk and life does not seem to go your way. When I told Josh that Victor and I were no longer a couple, Josh was able to sense the true sadness in my voice. So he decided to ask as a birthday present that the whole family would come to see me in Loveland for our birthday. I felt the gift was mostly for me. Everything is better with your family by your side.
So there we were, drinking, eating being merry in my tiny apartment. How I could fit 6 people in my tiny kitchen and living room, I had no idea, but this wouldn’t stop us from having fun. The Jones crew was together in celebration, like it was meant to be. Surprisingly enough, my breakup hadn’t been mentioned once, probably because it was my birthday and my mom didn’t want to upset me. I was allowed to just enjoy their presence, drink from their familiar and warm energy, letting myself heal little by little.
After the meal, everybody seemed to scatter, leaving me alone with my mother in the kitchen. Uh oh. I immediately recognized the look on Dr. Mariana’s face. It was an intervention.
“Andrea, we need to talk about the recent changes in your life.” My mom threw, as she took the dirty dishes to my sink. Here we go. I hung my head in defeat.
“Can we talk about this tomorrow? It’s my birthday.”
“And tomorrow you’ll have a different excuse. You pretend everything is okay, that you are moving on from this breakup, but I can see you are hurting.”
“Look, I’m dealing with it, okay? I’m working, exercising, eating healthy. It’s not like I’m depressive, mom.” I tried to placate her.
“Meaning you are trying to distract yourself from it. That’s unhealthy. Do you know what happens to people that bury their feelings?”
“The feelings eat at them.” I mumbled. My mother actually did a study about this. How resentment and pain, if not dealt with, could lead to physical illness.
“You believe you can fool people, but you can’t fool me. I’m your mother. You may pretend everything is alright, that you are taking care of it, that you are embracing life, but you are denying your feelings. It’s your defense mechanism. You pretend to be open so people won’t feel the need to ask you anything. It’s incredibly smart, but also incredibly stupid.”
All of a sudden, I wanted to cry. This conversation reminded me of the many times my mom had begged me to talk to her regarding the abuse I was getting from Daniel, and I had never said a word until the day I decided to leave. The situation wasn’t the same, obviously, but I felt like the black sheep of the family, the family member everyone worried about. My mom came to me and held me in her arms, caressing my hair, like she would do when we were kids.
“Just talk to someone, will you? If not me, anyone else. Still, if you want to, I will listen, and not judge.”
Suddenly, we heard my father’s voice from the door. My father, the innocent soul, so oblivious to potentially awkward situations.
“Hey, guys! Look who I found downstairs!” He shouted, pointing to Victor, who was standing right behind him.
There was a moment of silence. No one knew exactly how to react, not even my mother, usually so cool and quick to adjust. Everybody wore the same incredulous face, staring at Victor. Victor turned every shade of pink, a mortified look in his eyes.
“Come in, Victor, make yourself at home!” My father encouraged him. Victor snapped out of his shame, assuming his usual inscrutable expression.
My father’s words seemed to break the spell for my family as well, as everyone went to Victor, greeting him warmly. Except for me. I was still frozen in place, my heart beating hard in my chest, afraid to collapse on the floor if I made the slightest move. Victor came to me, extending his hand to shake mine.
“Happy Birthday.”
Shaking Victor’s hand was the weirdest thing ever. Unnatural, freakish, like trying to eat soup with your feet. I gave him a soft smile, afraid of how my voice would sound if I talked.
“I won’t be long. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude while you are here with your family. I just came to give you this. You can open it later.” His voice was lower than usual, I could hear a hint of sadness in it. I tried to ease the tension. He handed me a wrapped box.
“It’s fine, I’m happy you came. Sit, let me get you a piece of cake and some cherry wine. My father brought it from Portugal, it’s amazing.”
“No need, I should be going.” Victor turned to leave.
“Victor.” I called, softly. “It’s ok. We don’t need to make things awkward. We were friends before, right? There’s no reason we can’t be friends now.” I gave him an honest and welcoming smile. That seemed to ease some of the tension in him. He sat down.
“Oh, and thanks for the gift. It’s very thoughtful of you.” I said as I went to my cabinet to get a plate and a glass. I also noticed the room was incredibly quiet. My whole family had vanished, God only knew where.
“It’s nothing, don’t think too much of it.” Victor cleared his throat, his cheeks turning pink again. “Just something I bought a while ago for this occasion. I can’t return it now, so you may as well have it.” Suddenly, he got up. “If you don’t mind, I should get going now. Have a great day, Andrea.”
With that, he left, not giving me a chance to reply. I looked at the present on the table, and sat down to open it. It was a golden chain necklace, with a pendant shaped like a tree. I remembered what he told me a few months ago, when I disclosed my abuse to him.
“You are not a puny flower that someone stomped on, you are not flat on the ground, trying to grow back again. You’re a tree. Autumn may take your leaves away and leave you barren, Winter snow may freeze your branches and your roots, but you’ll still be a tree, standing tall through it all. And when Spring comes, you will have leaves and beautiful flowers again, and someone will enjoy your shade, and admire how bravely you stood up to the elements."
Like a powerful explosive, the memory alone blasted the doors of my emotional vault, and everything came pouring out. My family, who I later found out was hiding in my bedroom, came out the moment they heard my sobs.
My mother was right, I needed to talk about it, even if to convince myself it was over. The last time I spoke to Victor I was fueled by rage, and wasn’t able to feel how much I missed him. But seeing him that day, in my kitchen, reminded me of happier times, of his arms around me, of supportive and loving words, of times when none of us were hurt, no ugly words had been said, no slaps had been delivered. My mother held me tight as I told her all the details of our breakup. Like a good therapist, she heard them all in silence, and like a good mother, she wiped the tears from my face and soothed me with loving words. When the emotions seemed to have subsided, and when I was finally able to control my tears, she spoke.
“Honey, this is probably the last thing you want to hear, since you are so decided to move on, but you know I wouldn’t say this lightly. But I think this is just a setback, an issue you have to solve through dialogue. This isn’t final.”
“I slapped him across the face.” I said, bitterly. “That’s final enough.”
“Andy, I saw the way he looked at you. There wasn’t a shred of resentment in his face. Just love. Well, and embarrassment, because your father hasn’t got a clue. But your father did well. You two need a little push.”
I shook my head. I did not want to entertain such thoughts. Whatever feelings one may have for another during a relationship don’t just fade away because they broke up. That was what my mother saw, remnants of a once-happy life, nothing else.
“There’s nothing left to push, mom. There’s nothing left to take, and nothing left to give. Nothing left to work on. He made it clear the last time I saw him. He scratched me off his list the moment I walked out his door.”
And with that, tears came again. Josh got up from his seat and hugged me tight, letting my tears stain his shirt. After a while, he spoke.
“Hey.” He smiled at me.
“Hey.” I spoke, my voice muffled by his shoulder.
Joshua and I didn’t speak much because we didn’t have to. He would never have to ask me how I was, because he always knew. And he also knew when to push me and when to leave me alone. He smiled at me, and I had no choice but to smile back, because I knew exactly what he meant. His grin told me he loved me, that I would get through this, that I was strong and that he would always have my back. And I believed every word he told me.
Twin brothers. Gotta love them.
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royaliity · 4 years
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Did I just spot TOM HOLLAND around town? Oh no wait, it was just THEODORE LIDDELL. Rumor has it that he is the TWENTY-ONE year old child of ALICE LIDDELL from ALICE IN WONDERLAND. I’ve also heard that they’re CURIOUS and UNFILTERED, and have TWO siblings.
history points
Theodore, or as he likes to be called “Theo” is the middle child of the Liddell family and one of the weirdest, though they’re all pretty weird... Let’s be pretty honest here.
His childhood consisted of listening to his mother’s stories and believing they were true. They had to be. It made no logical sense, but he just had this feeling. No matter what anyone said. His mother would never lie about anything. If she said it was true, then he believed in her. 
There was a special connection between Theo & his mother. Something fantastically strange. She always said he was special and he always told her that one day he was gonna buy her the diamond ring Dad was supposed to buy her. He promised that. She deserved it for raising them all.
He and his siblings were really the only kids around, so they were a tightly knit bunch. They were always playing pretend in Wonderland and guarding their house against monsters. They were a team. 
But then Theo really fell into Wonderland.
It was everything his mother said it was going to be. He loved it there. Like a dream, he traveled through every little bit of it like an expert and was even treated as such by many of the characters.
“Alice’s Son? THE Alice?” And he just nodded. He was giddy.
Though, when he came back, nothing was the same. He was suddenly seeing spirits all around him and was forced to endure whatever pain and discomfort they wanted to thrust upon him. It felt like the exact opposite of what he came from.
Immediately he thought he was losing his mind. In a split-second decision, he made the choice to keep it all a secret. Wonderland & the ghosts. If people thought his mother went crazy after Wonderland, they would think the same of him. Living with ghosts was so much better than being labeled insane.
Honestly, he was afraid of them at first but then he eventually learned to understand them better as time went on. They were just so-- lost. Helpless. They needed him.
All this happened when he was seven and he managed to keep it a secret up until the ghost of his little sibling’s dog appeared to him. After that point, he was unable to hold back from telling both his siblings and mother. It was one of the hardest days of his life.
Writing and drawing eventually became an outlet for him. He would tell these ghosts’ stories and draw the spirits he saw. Even in college, he found himself studying art and literature. History was even a topic that helped him relate to those many voices. 
Now that he’s here, however, he’s trying to help people. He’s rough at his job but he figures he has nothing lose now. What could go wrong?
personality points
His family affectionately calls him “Teddy” and he allows because he’s a softie. But if anyone he doesn’t know tries it, he’ll be very confused and act like he has no idea who that is.
Pretty nerdy and quiet on the account that he almost couldn’t tell who was a ghost and who was a human in the beginning. 
Known for being extremely clumsy. He literally trips over everything but he’ll make a joke about it afterward.
Definitely flies under the radar as much as possible. But if you know him, he never stops talking. The filter goes out the window.
Complete and utter goofball but he would give his left arm if it meant that he could help someone.
A foodie™ and loves the fact he can eat so much here. Tea is a favorite of his as well.
One thing that helps quiet the voices is drinking so if he’s drinking a little too much, he’s probably having a bit of a mental breakdown.
Very empathetic. If someone’s sad, he’s sad. He feels that pain and takes it upon himself constantly.
He’s not very good with self-protection, so while he can try to talk himself out of a situation, there’s almost no way for him to defend himself.
It’s hard to make him angry but say anything about his family or call him insane and he will lose it. 
He sketches a lot of the ghosts he sees so that his clients know he’s not a fake. It’s his only defense sometimes.
Loves music. Another thing he’s discovering more of while he’s here. It helps him tune out the spirits sometimes.
wanted connections
Best Friends - People that are ultra-close to Theo and understand all the other crazy sides of him. They may not know about the whole “spirit” thing, but they know he’s a nerd trying to make it in the world. I could easily see him trying to draw them as a birthday present.
Older Sibling - Maybe they never believed in Wonderland or maybe they did. Either way, Theo always secretly looked up to them. He saw them and wanted to be a better person. They were the glue that held the family together and he just wanted to be as talented as them. Theo would trust them with the world. Even what happened to him.
Younger Sibling - Maybe they never believed in Wonderland or maybe they did. Either way, Theo always wanted to keep their childhood fun. He would always keep the beliefs of Santa and fairytales alive for them, even when they started to grow up. They’re much more mature than he is at that age, but that wasn’t a bad thing either. He loves them to death and trusts them just as much as their older sibling.
Ghost Pal - Someone that has stuck to him for one reason or another. He might be sharing his body with them every now and again or maybe he’s just someone they can talk to without manifesting and losing energy. Maybe they’re just helping him work out his powers.
Guardian - Let’s face it, his big heart is a big target. He’s gonna need someone to keep him from getting thrown in the nuthouse or getting hurt because he trusts too easily.
Crush - He stumbles over his words when he’s around them. He just can’t help himself. If he wasn’t so awkward, maybe he could manage to be with them someday. Either way, he still wants to be around them 24/7.
Wonderland Buddies - Anyone from Wonderland that managed to sneak into the real world. Maybe they haven’t seen each other since both of them were kids. Maybe they know what the heck happened to him. Maybe they’re there to help him out. I’m totally open to this!
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randomly-random-jen · 5 years
Text
Of Macaroni Art and Making Grown Men Cry
A Red vs Blue fanfic
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It's Father's Day, and Caboose has a plan. It goes about how you'd expect a Caboose plan to go, so Wash reluctantly comes to the rescue. Part of the retirement fluff series.
928 words | [PG]
Wash follows the smell of something burning into the kitchen. He takes in the scene—there is paper and markers and glitter strewn over the table, and a pot billowing thick black smoke. And in the middle of it all—Caboose and Junior.
“Caboose, what are you doing? You’re going to burn the entire base down.”
“Oh, it’s okay, Agent Washington. I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm, so it wouldn’t bother anyone.”
Wash stares. “That won’t stop-” He doesn’t bother to finish. Wash pulls the pot from the stove. He can’t tell what was even in it. “Were you hungry? You could have asked someone to make you guys lunch.” What does a Sangheili eat anyway?
“It’s Father’s Day!” Caboose says as if that explains anything.
“What?”
Caboose rolls his eyes like Wash is being the unreasonable one. “It’s Father’s Day, and I’m helping Junior make something for Tucker. Even if he is stupid.” He mutters the last part under his breath before putting on another glowing smile. “We looked it up, and it said that kids make macaroni art for Father’s Day.”
Wash rubs a growing pain between his eyes. It’s typically how all of his conversations go with Caboose. “Caboose, you’re not supposed to cook the macaroni first.”
Junior lets out a string of honks and blarghs. Wash doesn’t need to understand the words to get the meaning—Junior already tried to tell him that.
Caboose’s smile falters. “Oh.” He looks around at the mess, brow knit together.
Damn him. “You know what, let me clean this up, and I’ll help you. Okay?”
That brightens him right back up. “Really?”
Wash sighs. “Yeah, really.”
Ten minutes later, the three of them surround the table—the middle filled with bowls of every shape of pasta and every variety of dry bean they could find in the pantry. Carolina is going to kill him, but Caboose looks thrilled. That kind of balances things.
Caboose and Junior argue over how they are going to make the card. Wash wonders if Caboose actually understands the alien or is just arguing with himself the way everyone seemed to treat Lopez. So far, Tucker is the only one he’d found that legitimately knows what Junior is saying. Wash can’t explain it—it must have something to do with their genetic connection. With the Reds and Blues, it’s best not to over think things. It just gives him a headache.
“Guys,” he interrupts when things sound heated. “Why don’t we each make something and decide later which one to give him.”
That seems to settle things for the time being and both get to work on designing pictures.
“You’re not starting, Agent Washington?” Caboose says as he reached for the glue.
“Uh-”
“You said we would all make something.”
Wash sighs. “Yes, I did, didn’t I.”
He pulls a sheet of paper from the pile and stares at it with a frown. He remembers this. Macaroni art. Making it. No, not making it. He never made art—especially not for his domineering father. It’s not his memory, he realizes, squeezing his eyes shut. Epsilon. It’s been a while since he’s had one of these uncontrolled flashes, and it takes a moment for him to untangle his thoughts. He spends one moment considering the idea of Carolina gluing macaroni to a paper for her doting father before shutting the memory away where it belongs.
While the glue dries on their projects, and the boys clean up, Wash cooks a special dinner. Tucker’s favorite roast chicken and potatoes. He’s starting to regret his choice to investigate the smoke. Next time, he’ll let the base burn down and save himself the headache.
Junior suddenly lets out a startled honk.
“Oh, no,” Caboose says. “You ruined the surprise.”
Wash glances over his shoulder at a bewildered Tucker. “What surprise?”
Junior scrambles to grab his artwork, practically shoving it in Tucker’s face as he rambles something in Blargh-speak. Tucker’s frown melts away. “You made this for me?”
“It’s Father’s Day,” Caboose says, handing him another paper. “We all made something. It was Wash’s idea, but then we couldn’t choose which one to give you so you get three cards.”
Tucker looks from the two papers Caboose is holding over to Wash, an eyebrow arched. Wash shrugs and goes back to cooking, trying to ignore the glimmer of unshed tears he sees there.
“Thank you, guys, I guess,” Tucker says. “This is-”
“Why are you crying?” Caboose asks in alarm. “Are they not good enough? Did we do it wrong? Wash said you don’t cook-”
“No, it’s not that, and I’m not crying. I just got glue in my eye—this is still wet.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Tucker swallows hard, obviously having trouble controlling his emotions. “I just never- I didn’t expect anything, that’s all.”
Junior says something that sounds apprehensive and a little sad.
Tucker hugs him. “It’s okay, buddy. I don’t expect you to know every human custom. I love it.”
Wash shakes his head—this is the weirdest family he’s ever known. He sets the finished platter of chicken on the table just as Caboose scoops both Tucker and Junior into a hug. Tucker mutters curses, making Wash snort in amusement. Weirdest family ever. Of all time.
Making a sound is a mistake, though. Caboose notices him and drags him into the most awkward group hug. Caboose doesn’t notice. “I blame you for this,” Wash says, shooting Tucker an annoyed look. “And Happy Father’s Day.”
Tucker smirks, eyes watery again. “Whatever.”
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artificialqueens · 7 years
Text
Love me tender - Part Three (Shalaska/Pearlet), by Lavish
A/N: Look at me submitting a chapter less than a month after the one prior! Here in Brazil it’s still October 1st, which means Halloween season is officially open. It seemed only right to submit Shalaska today. In this we have a glimpse of domestic life with Violet and Matt, beers with Sharon, Alaska letting her guard down, and something unexpected at the end. As always, thank you to those who have been following this fic, who have left feedback here and on my ask box, I love you tons. Xo, Lavish. 
“Vi, come on! It’s about to start!”
Matt’s strong voice echoed throughout the small apartment, making Violet roll her eyes, slightly annoyed, but also smile nevertheless. She had no idea when it became a thing to watch old seasons of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo with Matt, but it was now a sacred ritual for their Saturdays. Violet hurried to pour the contents of two bags of Doritos into a bowl before the opening song ended.
She handed the snacks to her boyfriend before plopping down on the air mattress they used as a couch (and bed, and often times a very convenient eating surface).
“I can’t believe you hit play before I was done picking food to feed your ass and your baby. I hope you are aware this is treason, and for that, you will be punished.”
Violet liked to complain. Simple as that – when she made snarky comments, she would usually be treated better after. It always happened, and that, as well as her true faith in aliens, were universal truths to the young teen.
“Fucking yes I did! And may I remind you it took ages, AGES, for you to simply figure out that you wanted Doritos after I browsed Uber Eats for like 20 minutes? No wonder you have HUGE swollen feet, that’s probably where all your ego went!”
Her boyfriend was the clear exception to the rule. Violet burst into laughter, holding her ever-growing belly, but attempting to swat her hand on his arm for the nerve he had. She pulled Matt’s face and planted a kiss on his nose, feeling his toothy grin graze over her own lips, making his stubble tickle her palm.
“Did you listen, Melon? That’s how your dad talks to your mom. Hopefully you’ll be less of a monster, kid.” Violet stared at her belly, as if she were waiting for an answer, and sighing in frustration when she wasn’t rewarded with any.
Since her third month, after most of her morning sickness had passed and Violet had made peace with the idea that she would get as big (or maybe even bigger, god forbid) as the entire European continent, she had grown very fond of talking to her belly. She’d read somewhere that it was healthy and soothing for the baby to hear their parent’s voice, so she opted not to risk the sanity of the baby and to address it whenever possible. Everyone did it: Violet, Sharon, even Violet’s mom and the lady who drove the bus she usually took to the hospital (Sheila was her name and Violet thought she was lovely, despite her daring habit of consuming approximately 4 donuts during the 10-minute journey). Again, Matt was the only exception. He never talked to Mellon, which was, evidently, a great disappointment. Violet figured it may be painful for him, but she still desperately wanted him to. 
She would never admit it out loud, but sometimes Violet fantasized about having a family with Matt. Having a house with three bedrooms, an ugly minivan, buying her baby clothes and toys, all sorts of mommy duty. She had even made a pact with herself: if she were ever to keep the baby, she would even keep a homelife blog, sharing the experiences of Melon the First. She craved it deeply, Violet was confident that she would be a good mom. Not the best, not a great mom, but an okay mom. And that was precisely the issue: her kid deserved much more than just okay. Her baby wouldn’t sleep on an air mattress. Violet wouldn’t drive a minivan because they were the epitome of ugly and tackiness, and extremely slow for her liking. She looked at Matt, her beloved Matt, wondering how he’d be like as a dad. She was so entertained it took Violet a second to realize he was expecting an answer to a question she hadn’t heard.
“Sorry, I totally spaced out. What did you say, babe?”
“I said I can make you some guac if you’d like, to go with that.” He pointed to the orange snack. “Hopefully it will save me from torture due to the treason of the crown.”
Again, he made her laugh out loud until her entire body was shaking. “No babe, it’s fine. You are forgiven. Let’s just see if Anna will marry that Michael guy.”
“You already know she did, tho.”
“Way to spoil the episode, you dork!” Violet faked rage, and tossed herself baby-bump-first over the giggling body of her boyfriend. In no time, they were having a tickling battle, both too invested in each other to notice the drama happening on-screen.
And maybe it was the comfort of the air mattress hugging their tangled figures due to the weight, or maybe the way Matt’s curtains hardly filtered any of the sunlight streaming through the window, but suddenly Matthew’s apartment felt to Violet like a home for their little family. ********** The warm breeze of August swept Alaska’s golden locks over her shoulder, and the edges tingled her sensitive skin. She stared at the empty seat in front of her, as though if she fixated on it long enough, Sharon would materialize. Alaska was fairly early, but she still checked her phone every two minutes to know if 15:00 would arrive any sooner. The last time she looked, her stubborn clock showed a disappointing 14:23.
Lunch with Cory was nice and familiar. Alaska missed him constantly, and despite living in the same city, LA was huge. The chances they would run into each other only decreased day by day, and still their connection was as undeniable as ever. Cory was 3 years younger and about 20 times more reckless than Alaska, but they always got along well – at least, after the karate patches incidents was forgotten. He balanced her seriousness and she lent him the responsibility he often lacked, which provided tons of laughter, some rumors about Cory possibly using heroin, and all of Alaska’s drunk dialing episodes on her first years of dating. Together, they could (respectably) paint the town.
A glimpse of what looked like jet-black hair appeared on Alaska’s line of vision through the window, and her head shot up, trying to find out if it were Sharon. A lean, tall brunette was closing the door of a red pickup truck, double checking the doors before turning around. The distinctive cleft chin and her piercing blue eyes made it undeniably clear it was none other than Sharon, waving discreetly at Alaska before making a beeline to Alaska’s table.
As she approached, the blonde checked her phone once again. 14:27.
“Well, you’re early!” Alaska broke the silence as the other woman arrived at her table, a smile easily spreading across her face. She double checked her outfit, making sure her rosy blouse was in place, and adjusted the bow on the neckline. The white skirt she wore was hidden under the table, but Alaska still straightened it reassuringly.
“Yeah, I was actually hoping to arrive early and calm my nerves before you got here, not gonna lie, but I’m not disappointed at all. You look drop dead gorgeous.”
Alaska watched in awe and chuckled lightly at the emphasis she gave on “dead”. She studied Sharon, contemplating her ensemble. From the styled (yet effortless looking) curls to her dark eyeshadow and the low-neck black dress, it made sense. It only seemed right that Sharon was that sort of grown-up punk kid.
It was an odd pair to look at, undoubtedly. But they made sense, in a way. The way Alaska’s dimples deepened when she smiled looked nice next to Sharon’s gapped front teeth, both giving a little humanity to the otherwise impossibly beautiful duo. Alaska’s breath was taken away. From the husky tone of Sharon’s voice to her milky skin and long fingers, she was amazing.
“Why, thank you! Same to you. Should we order something, or…?” Alaska trailed off, watching as the brunette’s eyes got lost on her face, studying her body language. She couldn’t help but smile, she felt good. It wasn’t invasive staring, it felt personal, intimate even. Alaska wished she would know what was going through Sharon’s mind in that moment.
If she could, she’d find out Sharon was admiring the way the afternoon sun bathed the pale skin of her chest, making the pink shirt draped over the other woman gave her an ethereal look. She’d find Sharon was curious about a tiny scar on her glossed upper lip, wondering what the story behind it would tell about Alaska’s early life. But alas, Alaska wouldn’t know all that. Instead of telling, Sharon opted for a less embarrassing phrase.
“Do you think they’ll serve us a beer right now? I know it’s still afternoon but I’m dying for one.”
“Yeah, sure!” Alaska wasn’t used to early drinking, but then again, she wasn’t used to being spontaneous at all. She looked over her shoulder, catching the waiter’s attention, and placed their order. Turning to Sharon with an inquiring look, she asked: “Soooo, tell me about yourself, Miss Needles… Anything I should be aware of before I trust you with a newborn?”
“I don’t think so, no… Does having live bunnies for breakfast count?” She kept a straight face, but Alaska’s shocked expression cracked her up. The lawyer looked weirdly green, as if she was sick. “I’m just messing with you, gosh! You know what they say: when in doubt, freak them out. You should’ve seen your face tho, it was priceless!” She smacked the table in the midst of a fit of laughter, struggling to even get the words out, the blonde soon following. Sharon was weirdly comfortable being her truest, weirdest self and didn’t get self-conscious at all. She found she was, actually, in her element.
“Literally nobody says that. But despite being close to Satan’s spawn, what else is there to you?” Alaska dove deep into Sharon’s eyes, almost believing that, if she searched long enough, she would peel off every one of the lairs built around Sharon’s impressive personality. She seemed so much more comfortable than she did in the hospital, speaking and gesturing freely.
“Well, I was born in Newton, Iowa. It’s a nice town to grow up until about 15, then it’s just too small of a town. My first teen years were terrible, I felt eyes on me all the time – and trust me, it ain’t nice at all.” She paused, getting a little more serious, and instantly reaching for Alaska’s hand over the table. Just like last time, there was no need for requests or even a flick of the eyes. It was natural. She took it and smiled, encouraging the other to continue. “I moved to Pennsylvania a few years later, then moved again down here. I attended Nursing school back in Penn, and those were the best years of my life. I love my job. I bet looking at me no one would ever guess what I do for a living, but it’s such a personal matter to me. I chose to nurse because there was… I don’t even know how to put it, some sort of emptiness, I guess, inside of me. My loneliness had hit a new level right after I got my diploma, as I’d left family back in Newton, so I clung to the first job I got. It really was fantastic how much it fulfilled me, and now… I guess I’m just ready to welcome a new life into my own. I smoke tho. I hope it’s not a deal breaker.”
Alaska was speechless. Sometime during Sharon’s monologue their waiter had placed two frozen pilsner glasses on their table, filled to the brim with bubbling beer. Without breaking their hand holding, both reached for their drinks. There was a clear syntony between the two, and it made grins split both their faces.
“Should we toast to this?” Alaska said, before taking her first sip. Seeing Sharon eagerly agree, shaking her head up and down, she continued, inclining her glass to meet the brunette’s. “To a very good start to whatever it is will happen between us four. May whatever decision Violet and Matt make the best one for all.”
“And to Melon, may he or she be as alcohol driven as any of their parents – and yes, I’m referencing underage drinking. Sorry ‘bout it.” Sharon completed, a sassy finger wiggling around.
The cold beverage tasted surprisingly good to Alaska, and she smiled languidly. It was so easy to be around Sharon, and all of her personal problems, from Tom to driving to the suburbs and all of the cases piling on her desk seemed so far, as if they weren’t her own.
“Damn Lask, this is too fancy. I usually have mine straight from the can.”
“I usually don’t have any at all! Look at us, having different experiences and fancy-ing it up for our date.” Alaska’s words only made their way to her brain when she registered what she’d said. “I meant meeting. Fuck.”
Sharon waved her hand, telling her off, both of them surrendering to contagious laughter. Alaska’s face still showed flushed, but her smile was genuine.
“Honest mistake. I don’t dress this nice for meetings.” She sighed and took another sip. “ Your turn Lasky, what’s the story here?”
“Well…” She elongated the word, trying to decide where to start. “I’m from Pennsylvania actually, from Erie. I have two brothers and one sister, we’re pretty close. Cory lives here, he’s the one who had lunch with me here earlier. I went to Law School at the University of Pittsburgh, and after I graduated I wanted to have this huge Law Firm and “make a name for myself,” She drew quotation marks in the air, rolling her eyes. To her ears, young Alaska seemed naïve and silly. “So I came down here. Luckily the firm part totally worked, but I should’ve known the part of making a name was a goal shared by basically the entire American population, so not an easy one.”
“I see that in you, I could totally tell you’re an overachiever. It’s not bad, tho. It’s ok to dream big.”
Sharon winked and Alaska felt it again, the fluttering of butterflies in the bottom of her stomach, taking her breath and her speech. All she did was smile, finishing what was left of her beer.
“Well, I guess so. It just seems childish to me from where I stand. I guess at a you-” She was cut off by her own phone ringing. She had almost forgotten she had one, from how invested she had become in their talk. The lit up screen didn’t show any names, or clues, of who was the caller. She let it go to voicemail, resuming her sentence. “Sorry about that. Back to what I was saying, at a young age we want to conquer the world, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but as you grow up even those perspectives chan-“ 
Once again, her phone blared with an incoming call from an unknown number. 
"Do you mind if I take this? I promise it won’t be long." 
"Sure, take your time, Lasky.” Sharon smiled, and Alaska detected honesty in her eyes. She was more than surprised that this was going so well. "Hello, is this Misses Langster?“
Alaska frowned, taking a second to recognize her husband’s last name, which she had gladly taken, but never really used.
"Yes, this is she.” Still oblivious, she turned to Sharon, basking on the way her full lips stretched when she smiled. It was the most beautiful one she’d ever seen.
“I’m calling from the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. There’s been an accident.”
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rtell1 · 4 years
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Love is Courage
Rory Tell 
Professor Ward – Love and Film 
Love is… a long road trip and you do not always get to choose your fellow passengers 
Love is the foundation of my family. I very much love my parents, my brother, and my two sisters. It is weird to say that in a way, as it is not really a Western idea for people to say that they have “love” for anyone who is not a romantic partner. Yet, I could not think of a better word to describe the relationship between my family and me. As Nietzsche said, “Being a family means you are a part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life.” For me, family is by far the most important thing in my life. As the youngest of four siblings, I have only known what it is like to have a caring and close-knit family. I recognize now how actually lucky I am, and how the values of a strong family have been passed down from generation to generation. When you are growing up, your whole worldview is comprised of that which is right in front of you. For me, that was a strong family connection with parents and grandparents who were all in long and happy marriages. So, when I was young, I just assumed every kid had the same fun loving, stable childhood that I enjoyed. It was not until I went to camp, and started talking with my friends, that the reality set in that there were other family dynamics that I was totally unaware existed. The word “divorce” was simply not in my vocabulary at a young age. Unfortunately, a lot of my friends grew up with divorced parents, and they had tough and tumultuous childhoods. 
It is interesting, because now, in retrospect, I, like so many others, often did not take the time to appreciate the love of my family members. I think that was true more so because I thought reciprocated love was the norm, and I knew no other way. In a society where love seems to be fleeting and conditional, it is your family members who are the only ones who are always there for you. My positive familial structure is so engrained in me that sometimes, and of course it is not on purpose, I take it for granted. Like many, I just forget to stop and think how I am treating my family members. I actually had this odd, self-reflective experience just last month. It was a beautiful August summer day and my dad, my brother, and I were all on the golf course for an early round. I was playing well that day (thank goodness my driver was going long and straight) so I was in a great mood. On the sixth hole, each of us hit a good drive, and we were all in the fairway for our second shot. My brother went first, and he hit a great one. I went next and hit a beautiful shot as well. When my dad got up to swing, he hit the ball fat and it really did not go very far. Now dads are complicated figures. For any young boy, your father is an almost mythological being. It is truly tough to see them as anything less than being your dad, and what that entails. But when he missed that shot, the weirdest thing happened to me. I just felt terrible. In that moment, I just wanted him to hit a good shot, very much like a parent who wants to see his own child succeed. With that thought, I realized for the first time, he wasn’t just my dad, but he was his own person. I walked away with a greater clarity about love, and about being a parent and family member. True love is about seeing the world from a different perspective, and that’s what loving family members do for each other. 
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Alain Badiou, in his seminal text, In Praise of Love, is interested in examining the philosophy of love as it has evolved in the 21st Century. One of his most interesting revelations is the idea of love taking on a temporal dimension. For Badiou, love not only focuses on the encounter between people, but also the process of how that love is shaped over time: “Real love is one that triumphs lastingly, sometimes painfully, over the hurdles erected by time, space and the world.”  For Badiou, love is a magnificent quest that compels us to explore otherness and differences, ultimately leading us away from an obsession with the self. This is a crucial function in Badiou’s work and something I learned that day with my dad. 
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It is clear to me how in Paris, Texas (1984), a film that is about the mythologizing of America, Wenders is playing to the values I espoused in my prior story by mythologizing the somber and uplifting moments inside the classical familial structure. Having the ability to see Paris, Texas on the big screen (thanks Dr. Ward for telling me to go) is a must for everyone. Viewing Wenders’ landscape portraits of the American southwest, while being lulled into the cinematic expanse with Ry Cooder’s famous soundtrack, provided me with one of the best in theatre experiences of my life. A.A Dowd, one of my favorite critics, reinforces this idea in his review of the film, noting that, “The title [Paris, Texas] turns out to be dually appropriate: It conveys not only the application of a European sensibility to an American milieu, but also how unattainable Wenders’ idealized nation is.”  To love Paris, Texas, one must not be worn down by the minutiae of specific plot decisions, as Wenders is much more interested in “privileging iconography over psychology,”  mythologizing over truth telling. The moment that resonates with me the most is when Travis absorbs the painfully beautiful memories of himself, his wife, and his child while looking through old Super 8 movies. His vulnerability is on full display for the first time, as he starts to reconnect with the love he has for his family. When I saw this scene, I immediately started crying and I was not surprised. I find it very difficult to look at old photos of myself realizing how much I have changed in the process of my life. And as Badiou writes, not only have I changed physically, but my thoughts on love and other intangible ideas has changed along side of me. For Travis, not only is he seeing the memories of his life again, but he is also realizing what it was like to have that love compared to the state he finds himself in now. As humans we are constantly evolving with time, and the ideas we hold most valuable must change alongside ourselves. I felt, as if in that moment, I was Travis, looking at old memories of myself, and the love I have for my family. Now there is a legitimate gripe to have with Wenders’ notion of the importance of the genetic mom. Yet, call me a born romantic, or maybe it is from the family love that I have experienced, but I definitely connect with Wenders’ mythologizing of the family unit, and the immense love and connection that forms between different members over time.
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So this is Christmas Pt3...
So when I brought that chick back to life, she was already preggo? With this little guy?
*I carefully moved to sit up on the couch, laying the baby in the little baby nook thingy I picked up for him. He wriggled a little bit but he didn’t wake up, only letting out a soft little coo. It made me smile everytime he did that. I turned back around and caught the amusement on my father’s face which instantly made mine fade away. Amidst all this new information I was still able to find a smile. Didn’t mean I wanted to show it to him though. He was still full front and center on my shit-list. Number one with a fucking bullet. Truth be told I wasn’t sure he would ever be back in my good graces. But with this baby I felt like he already changed me in ways I wasn’t even capable of defining yet. There was just this connection and I think now that it must have something to do with reviving his mother.*
“That’s exactly when the connection happened, Isaac. When your grace breathed life back into her body, you inflicted that unborn child and marked his soul. There was no one else that would have found that child, no one else that would have brought him home and out of the cold. It was always going to be you, son.”
*I sat back and ran my fingers through my hair, letting out a breath as my brain scrambled to put all the pieces together. Apparently I marked some poor kid before he was even born? This is frightening and severely alarming that I could do something like that without even knowing. I really should have come with some sort of operations manual. For fucks sake. It’s one hell of a hot mess when you don’t even know your own self. My father could have at least warned me of all the things I could do. I was like a swiss army knife with no idea what most of the attachments are used for. But here we were and this was happening whether I wanted this or not.
I didn’t know how to do this whole bonding thing my father spoke of, not one detail whatsoever. He said it wasn’t the kind of thing that could be taught. That when the time came I would know what to do instinctively. This left me quite unamused. Par for the course when good ol pops was involved. But through his lack of direction, I still managed to believe he was onto something. I already felt this pull with the child. Something that drew me to him no matter how much I tried to fight it. I hate to admit it, but I think my father was right. I was meant to be this child’s guardian. My efforts may have proven futile when it came to saving his mother, but my work was far from over when it  came to this little boy. The grace inside him called to me, pleading with me for salvation. Who was I to ignore that call?
The hour was upon us. As dreaded as it may be, the time had come for me to say goodbye to him. It would not be forever, only it would feel that way for me. The father of this child was waiting for me to do the right thing. Not only had he lost his love, but now he was grieving for a baby he was just as sure he had lost as well. Four days and nights had come and gone since I found the baby. The whispers around town had given me all the information I needed. I knew if I waited long enough, the people around here would talk plenty and I would find out everything I needed to know to make a well informed decision. I had to give this baby back to his family. No matter the connection or whatever bond had formed, the kid needed his family. I was well aware that I was not fit to raise a child. The danger I would knowingly put him in would drive me crazy with worry every second of every day. And with the things I had on my plate, I needed to have my head in the game at all times. Angel and baby time is just not plausible at this time...or any other for that matter.
I gathered up all his baby stuff and packed it away in an old suitcase, sitting there on the couch with the kid in my hands. He looked at me differently than anyone had ever looked at me before. He didn’t just look right through me. He saw me for what I was, I felt that with my soul. His blue eyes steadily stayed locked on mine when I felt that pull growing stronger. It kind of hurt in ways. In ways I couldn’t understand or begin to explain. I think whatever was suppose to happen between us was happening. I felt this swell in my chest, almost as if my lungs were expelling all air from them and it was filling my chest. Either that or all the air from the room was closing in around us and forming this bubble surrounding me and the child. Fuck. I didn’t know how to define this. If someone was to ask me exactly how this went down, I would be at a loss for words.
It was at that moment when the little boy wrapped his chubby little baby fingers around my thumb. It wasn’t the first time he did this, but this time it was everything. A moment so pure and beautiful that it brought me to tears. I felt my soul imprinting on his and his on mine. And all the while our eyes remained trained on one another’s. The moment came and went in a matter of seconds but would leave a mark on us both from now through the rest of our days. I pressed a soft kiss to his forehead before getting up and grabbing the suitcase to head out the door. I was set to meet the little guys father at my bar, another life changing moment in the making. With the baby tucked against my chest, I headed out into the winter’s night. Got to love it being dark already at five in the afternoon. Winter was not my favorite. With a grumble I wrapped the child up in my coat and zipped us both up in it. It was the weirdest thing. Actually feeling the heartbeat of another human being. Not just because he was against my chest, but I felt every beat of his heart as if it was coursing through my blood.
After all, my grace was part of this living thing. I could sense it from the moment I picked him up off the cold floor of that abandoned factory.
Handing this baby boy over was a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be. But when it was all said and done the father was so grateful that he promised me that I would be part of the child’s life. Little did he know that he had no real choice in that matter.
Charlie.
That was the chosen name of the child. Something about it being the grandfather’s name. It was a solid name. Charlie. The name of my ward. With a smile I opened up the bar and immersed myself in work. The hustle and bustle was a welcomed chaos to the aching in my heart as I watched that child be carried away. With each added step it hurt. My father didn’t bother to tell me this little gem. The little detail of how much it hurts to bond with another. But it was far too late to turn back now. Truth be told, I wouldn’t change a damn thing even if I could. I would carry this pain for all my days. No one would have a more committed guardian. Only time would tell if that would be a bad thing or good.
I’m rooting for the latter.
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freakypumpkin · 7 years
Text
BlindSpot Chapter 6
Orphanage AU: Magnus has lived there since he'd been nine years old, and now one year before he has to leave the Institute, a new kid comes along. Alec Lightwood hates orphanages, hates foster families. He just wants to be left alone with his anger at the world. Two worlds clash like thunder and lightning and both guys are in for an interesting year.
On Ao3
On FF.net
Beta’d by @warlocksass​ (thank you, again), remaining mistakes and confusing metaphors are mine.
Sidenote: In this universe, Valentine and Jocelyn dated, broke up, Clary is Jocelyn’s and Luke’s daughter, Jace is Valentine’s son with another woman, no relation, whatsoever.
Ch6: It’s rain and wind and everything in between
Alec and Jace had met on the street, both on their own escape route and both not looking where they were going, which ended with them running into each other, literally. Jace had been running from a single father, that got way too obsessed with his ex. Alec had been running from a foster father, who was way too obsessed with the idea of heterosexuality, so it was instantly easy for them to bond over terrible father figures and the desire to get something to eat. With their stomachs full with lukewarm noodles and a discussion about right and wrong and soy sauce later, they’d decided to become friends and that’s how everything had started.
They had gotten separated several times, but their first goal had always been to get back to each other, no matter which orphanage they were brought to and which foster family they ended up in. Jace never gave his real name because he technically wasn’t an orphan which had turned into a fun game of ‚Guess who am I today?‘ and they started trying to get away with the weirdest names, if only to annoy the hell out of advisors across the board.
As they now helped Jace climbing through the window, which was aided by their blanket and constantly commentated by Magnus’ grumbling in the background, Alec was reminded of that one time they’d climbed the roof of a garage to escape a very persistent dog. He felt guilt growing in his chest at not having tried harder to look for Jace, to get out of this orphanage like he’d done it before quite a number of times. When Jace reached the windowsill, he remained there for a few moments, his eyes trying to get used to the dark room and himself trying to properly finding his balance on said windowsill. His blond hair was a mess, his cheeks were red from the cold air outside, but his eyes were shining and awake and Alec realized how much he had missed him.
They looked at each other for a few silent moments, both uttering a silent „Hey“ and the next thing, Alec knew was Jace throwing himself at him, causing to almost fall off the bed. Magnus was the one, that actually fell, but for now Alec was just busy hugging his best friend the best he could with one hand because Magnus’ departure from the bed, also reminded him painfully of the handcuffs tying them together.  
“God, I’m so happy, you are alive and fine and well and everything, Alec.“ Jace pressed a kiss to the side of Alec’s head and sat back up again, grinning down at him wide and bright like the moon outside. “Now tell me, why you didn’t at least try to get a message through to me, while being here, you asshole?“ The grin didn’t waver and Alec felt his own lips stretching into one.
“What? I thought, you loved the sense of adventure?”, he responded mockingly.
Jace threw his head back dramatically. “Of course, I do, but only with you by my side, loyal knight, and not when it’s about finding your lazy ass in the middle of nowhere.“ A familiar warmth pooled in Alec’s chest and long lost laughter bubbled in his throat, but the moment they were having, was cut short by Magnus discreetly clearing his throat, while the glare he sent Jace was anything but discreet, Alec noted when he turned his head to his new roommate and handcuff-friend.
“I hate to interrupt your reunion, but could you maybe move your asses a bit, so I can get at least get back on the bed and we close the window and … you know, discuss whatever this is.“ His glare turned into exasperation as Jace ended up just looking at him with raised eyebrows and Alec almost expected Magnus to start hissing, like an annoyed cat, that got petted one too many times. But then Jace’ gaze wandered down from Magnus’ face to his outstretched arm and eventually landing on the handcuffs connecting him and Alec. Alec could almost hear the gears in his head turning as he understood why Magnus was still sitting next to the bed in a rather awkward way, instead of getting up and doing something about his position.
“Did I interrupt something?“, Jace whispered at Alec without taking his eyes off the handcuffs. „If so, I’m super sorry about that.“ He looked back up at Magnus, trying his most understanding smile. “Should I maybe wait in the hallway? Or next door? I really don’t want to climb back down …“ Turning back at Alec, he added: “The next bus arrives in about two hours, so maybe just keep that in mind.“
Alec was pretty sure, that Magnus was close to jumping Jace and strangling him. He chalked it up, that Magnus hadn’t done so yet, to the late hour and the fact, that more noise would raise the risk of waking up others downstairs.
Magnus hissed “There’s nothing going on here apart from you disturbing my sleep.“ at the same time, that Alec smacked Jace’ thigh, signaling him to get his ass off of him. Jace did, though not taking his eyes off Magnus as the other climbed back on the bed, definitely jerking on the handcuffs in the process more than what was absolutely necessary, but for once Alec didn’t comment on it. He simply smiled and yanked at them once, when he sat up himself, making Magnus sway sideways and earning a deathglare himself. The other might have been an early riser, but that only made him twice as murderous during the night, when he wasn’t allowed to sleep. Alec noted that as one of many points in his survival guide for the future.
“Jace, this is Magnus“, Alec explained pointing at the most accurate impersonation of the words ‘bad mood‘ he had seen in a while. “Magnus, this is Jace. No killing, I like him and already being handcuffed does not help, when I’ll try to convince the police of my innocence.“
Magnus raised one eyebrow as he slowly turned his head to look at Alec. “Why should I care for either of those things?“
“Because deep down you are a good person,“ Alec responded with a confidence, that surprised himself probably more than it impressed Magnus based on his still murderous glare. Eventually  Alec just rolled his eyes and yanked at the hand, that made the handcuffs jingle. “Come on, you survived being around me the whole time-“
“Yes,“ Magnus exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air, which dragged Alec’s hand along with them. “But now there’s apparently two of you.“
“Oh, you want me handcuffed, too?“ Jace chimed in and Alec instantly yelled “Not happening! It’s tough enough to have him around the whole time!“ while pointing at Magnus, wo which Magnus sent him an affronted look that Alec straight up ignored.
“Excuse me? If you hadn’t tried to jump out of the window, we wouldn’t even be in this situation right now, okay? And if anybody needs compensation for this situation, it is me, don’t you think?“
“What do you mean by that?“ Alec eventually gave in and looked back at Magnus, very aware of the growing interest on Jace’ face.
“Since our relationship started, I was pushed down stairs, head-butted, left in the rain-“
“You liked the rain.“
“Not the point, pretty boy.“
During their heated exchange, Alec and Magnus had gotten closer and closer, so their noses were touching and if looks could kill, they’d both be piles of ashes by now. Both pressed their lips into thin lines and just kept staring at each other angrily. There was a shift in the mood at this point. Something in the air grew tense and cold. After a few more moments, Magnus’ eyes flitted from Alec to Jace and back again. An expression, which Alec couldn’t quite read moved across the other’s face before he leaned back, all calm and collected and with a perfect mask back in place.
“He is the reason, you wanted to leave so desperately, right?“ His words had edges, that Alec wasn’t used from Magnus. He always had a sharp tongue, he could yell and be dangerously calm, but this was different.
“Yes,“ Alec whispered and he was surprised at the softness of his own voice. He felt tired and empty, everything that had lit his nerves on fire just moments ago was gone, too far away to reach. They had promised to always keep looking for each other, to never forget, that whenever they weren’t with each other, one of them was walking the streets on their own. It was even a promise sworn with blood, because they made it after Alec had that unfortunate confrontation with that knife in an alleyway. When you were alone on the street, you were at an disadvantage, like in the ocean, like in the wild. If you weren’t a predator big enough, dangerous enough, you were screwed, most of the time. One of the few chances you had to survive were to team up with those you could trust.
Alec wondered if he had broken that promise to Jace by staying at the orphanage, by not trying to break those handcuffs or by not throwing that soap the other day. Jace didn’t seem that upset though, he’d have to ask him at a later point, but as he was looking at Magnus, Alec felt like something else had been broken this night. He only saw shards of it, but couldn’t put them back together because he had no idea what it had been before or if he even had been the one to break it.  
“So, what are you two geniuses expecting to do outside then? After this? I mean, you-“ He pointed half-heartedly at Jace. “You came here to get Alec out, right? To save him, get on the bus and then what?“ Magnus’ eyes were tired. It was late and Alec felt exhaustion gnawing on his own bones.
“Survive together,“ Jace replied with heartbreaking simplicity. “We always do. And some day, we will find a place, where we can stay. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a week, maybe in two years from now.“ Words Alec knew so well, he could loose everything else, he wouldn’t forget them.
The street was a cruel teacher. If you had bad luck, a week outside could bring you to your breaking point more than once, or close to it. To survive, you couldn’t break, you weren’t allowed to break, because if you did, the street would swallow you whole and leave nothing behind. So you set a goal and make it your core, cling to it, when everything else would go dark, never let go, and you could always manage to come out on the other side, especially, when you had somebody by your side to pull you through.
“But what’s wrong with staying here, until you found a place in the world?“ Something shone through in Magnus’ words, that made Alec look at him, really look, Something shone through that mask, he’d put up earlier, something had made it brittle and flaky.
“Orphanages are bad places for us,“ Jace said like it was obvious and Alec realized, that it was - for them. Jace could only stay at one until the staff figured out, he hadn’t given them his real name and Alec attracted problems like a mad magnet, not helped by the fact, that he had that type of looks, that made people go ‘Awwwww‘ in the most inopportune situations. They never worked, when he actually needed them to work in his favor and Alec often felt personally offended by his own reflection due to that.
“This is not a bad place.“ If he had had the opportunity, Alec was sure, Magnus would have crossed his arms like a stubborn child to underline his statement and a part of Alec would have loved to see that. “The people here are not bad.“ Magnus took a deep breath, raising his hands, but letting them fall down again with an expression of exasperation on his face after being reminded of the restricting handcuffs. “But if you disappear in the dark of the night, it will fall back on this place, on the people working here - they don’t deserve that.“
Alec had developed a dislike for adults over the past few years and if he was honest since the death of his parents, he hadn’t met any that he had liked so far. He had seen that sad look one too many times, but when he thought about the day, he had tried to climb out of exactly that window, they were now sitting in front of - which was still open, by the way - and how Jocelyn had been scared, had been worried, had been relieved when had been back inside again. The day, Alec had made it through one breakfast downstairs with the others without throwing something against the wall or other people, she had almost hugged him. He had seen her comforting Tessa the day, Jem had been adopted. He had seen many other moment, that he only now realized had happened.
Without a word, he raised his free hand, reached behind Jace’ back and pushed the window close, cutting off the cool breeze and locking out the pale moonlight and the sound of clouds moving across the sky. Maybe they could try. He was just about to say something to Jace, suggest, that one or two days wouldn’t hurt anybody, when his friend, who hadn’t moved his eyes away from Magnus since those last words, suddenly asked:
“Do you feel like those, that leave, judge you for staying?“ He asked that question and honest with curiosity. It was same tone, he’d used with Alec, when they’d first met and it was the exact reason, why Alec had decided to tell him about the day his family had died, instead of threatening to cut him, should he ever ask again. By the look on Magnus’ face though, it seemed rather obvious, that the other was wired differently and totally ready to threaten Jace with everything he had for asking that question.
Fortunately, or not, in that exact moment the door to their room was open and as there was no way to hide or escape whatever meeting was about to happen, the three of them simply sat on the bed, staring at the door like deers caught in the headlights, or Jocelyn’s flashlight in this case. She was wearing a robe, her hair done up in a messy bun and reading glasses sitting low on her nose.
“Hey, guys, I thought, I heard shouting from somewhere around here, is everything okay with-“ Only then did her light hit Jace and she grew aware of the third person on the bed. Her mouth fell open and she reached out with one hand to support herself on the doorframe. “You,“ she whispered with an undertone, that was kind of hoarse.
“Me?“, Jace tried, confusion written all over his face. Magnus shared that sentiment as he even forgot to look annoyed for a moment, sending Alec a questioning look, who couldn’t do more than shrug helplessly.
“You,“ Jocelyn repeated and took a step further into the room, squinting at Jace over the rim of her glasses, and something in Jace’ face change.  
“Me.“ He swallowed heavily. “Oh, I’m having the worst version of a déja-vu ever.“
Alec narrowed his eyes at him, whispering: “What do you mean?“ and when Jace turned to look at him, his friend was paler than before and it had nothing to do with the crappy lighting.
“Red hair,“ Jace stage-whispered and his voice shook with the kind of fear, he’d shown the last time, when they’d thought, they were in the same shop as Jace’ father. “Red hair, Alec. Red hair.“
Alec’s eyes grew wide, when he remembered the sort of code, they had used during not the most glorious period of Jace’ non-existent love-life. “Art student?“, he whispered back frantically and Jace simply mouthed ‘I’m going to die‘.
“You two are aware, that she can hear you, right?“, Magnus mentioned matter-of-factly with a voice dry as the dessert. Alec noted absent-mindedly, that there was something oddly attractive about it, but didn’t dwell on it. He looked at Jocelyn, trying to gauge her reaction to seeing Jace again. She looked conflicted, but just like Magnus, she also looked pretty tired. In the end, she simply sighed, shook her head and muttered:
“We’re going to discuss that in the morning. Magnus, please make sure, that this guy doesn’t leave before we had a chance to talk.“ And with that, she turned around and left the room, carefully shutting the door behind her. Alec, Magnus and Jace were left in a whole new dimension of silence and it was threefold: exhaustion, fear and cautious curiosity.
“Are you going to explain, what just happened or do you want me to guess?“ Magnus eventually broke the silence, raising an eyebrow and making Alec smile, which made him feel warm and fuzzy and weird all over again. Jace sighed dramatically. Then he did it a second time and a third one, and with each sigh, Magnus’ expression got a little bit more strained.
“She has a daughter, right?“, Alec tried to help his friend out, putting a comforting hand on the other’s shoulder, while looking at Magnus, who silently nodded in response to the question. “Well, Jace knows that daughter.“ Alec let the rest of the statement hang in the air between them, hoping, that he wouldn’t have to spell it out. He wasn’t sure, how much he was allowed to share about that time, when Jace once tried out drawing and it ended with Alec having written ‘U suck‘ across his forehead for three days. Permanent markers, that held true to that advertisement sucked big time.
Luckily, or not, Magnus put enough of the pieces together, to figure out the general story behind the encounter with Jocelyn just now. His murderous glare returned and it was a very refreshing experience to not be at the receiving end of it for once, and by now even twice. It was an odd feeling, too. Alec had to admit, he felt somewhat left out.
“Did you do anything to her?“, he growled, but Jace raised his chin in defiance.
“Apart from falling in love, making a fool out of myself, being miserable and eating too much ice cream I didn’t do anything!“
“You tried drawing.“
“Yes, and if I remember correctly, we decided to never speak of it again, didn’t we, Alec?“
Out of the corner of his eye, Alec saw Magnus shaking his head softly, smiling absent-mindedly. ‘Sorry‘, he mouthed at Jace, who silently replied ‘Love you, too‘.
They ended up deciding not to stress this topic and Jace deciding, that talking about past crushes and almost-relationships wasn’t good for his health. Magnus decided not to switch the handcuffs from Alec to Jace and Alec decided, that he didn’t know how he was supposed to feel about that. Around 7 am they collectively decided, that the bed was too small for three people. Around 8 am, Alec was the last one to be awake and he decided, that what he felt with Magnus next to him and Jace starfishing across both of them, was content.
-+-
Jace had had one serious crush in his young life so far. One time, when he could have seen things going further, than before. One time, that he had seen a possible future. It had been full of color, old brushes, fresh paint, stinky oil and million kinds of paper, that he couldn’t  remember the many differences of. There had been red hair and a smile he adored. It had been within his reach, the beautiful sketch of a life with enough space for Alec in it as well if he wanted to. Then it had been shattered like nothing more than colored glass, sparkling and worthless on the floor.
“So,“ Jocelyn sighed as Jace took place in front of her desk in the little office down the hallway on the first floor. “Do you want to tell me, how you ended up in the bed with Magnus and Alec last night or is this the part, where you cloud yourself in silence?“ It was clear, that she was expecting a certain form of reaction, that she had been in this situation before. But Jace found, that he didn’t want to put up an act. He had run from this part of his past, not as much as other things, but still … and now he had smacked into it with full force again. The impact had left him tired, feeling raw and insecure.
“You don’t like me,“ he started softly, “I can understand that and I’m not expecting you to suddenly like me, or give me a second chance and-“
“Why are you here?“, Jocelyn interrupted him carefully. She leaned a bit forward across her desk, like trying to get a closer look of whatever mess just played across Jace’ face. It wasn’t an angry or annoyed interruption. Parts of the hard facade, she had had up earlier, fell down and left behind a woman, who had dealt with difficult kids before, but also just with kids and teenagers in general. Maybe it was a peace offering, maybe she was just playing nice, Jace didn’t know.
“I came for Alec.“ He licked his lips nervously and tried to find another place to look at then Jocelyn’s eyes. “We’re friend, you know? We got separated. And he was brought an orphanage in - well, the city, but when I reached that one, he … he was already sent here.“
Jocelyn just looked at him. Jace felt a constant buzzing on his skin, but somewhere deep inside there was a feeling of stubbornness rising. This had already been set in motion, so why not roll with it? Be honest and see, where it gets you. Be honest, well, to a degree, no reason to become self-destructive. “Do you have a place to stay?“
“We … yes.“ He thought of an old storage building, he’d noticed on his way through the city. They could crash there before moving on. They would find a place, they always did.
“So ‘no‘,“ Jocelyn replied matter-of-factly. Jace stayed silent and she leaned back in her chair. “You’re homeless, too?“ Her eyes had that question ‘Have you been homeless back then, too?‘ ready to be asked and Jace dreaded the moment, he’d have to answer that one with ‘yes‘, too.
“Yeah.“
“What about your parents?“
“My mother is dead.“ Jace looked down at his hands folded in his lap. He fingernails were dirty and the right sleeve of his sweater was torn. His mother had died the night he’d been born. There had been enough time by now to work through that, mourning a woman he’d never known more of, than that his father had hopefully loved her once. He wasn’t quite ready to talk about his father though, not in this context at least.
“What about your father?“ Jocelyn’s voice was cautious, like a scalpel performing a risky surgery, dreading the cut, but knowing it had to be done. “Is he dead, too?“
‘I wish he was.‘ “No.“ Jace took a deep, shuddering breath. His heart was beating nervously, ready to fall out of rhythm anytime. He had to say something, had to say more than just that because otherwise it would just be the ‘then why are you here and not at home?‘-cycle all over again. His situation couldn’t be explained with easy pictures, that others would immediately understand and empathize with. It was more subtle, darker and evil. “But he’s …“ Jace took another deep breath. He was hurting, every syllable cutting his bones and turning him back into a scared child, that couldn’t comprehend, what he knew now. “He’s …“ The words were weights on his shoulders, so he tried to ease that weight by leaning a bit forward across the table, maybe if he didn’t say it too loud, the cuts wouldn’t hurt that much.
“He’s a … he’s  … not nice.“
Something shifted in Jocelyn’s eyes and it helped with the weight on Jace’ shoulders.
“He’s a bad person?“, she asked, her voice soft as feathers. Jace nodded. Jocelyn nodded. And that was that.
He left it at that point, because his skin was already from the pain of memories, and while Jocelyn stayed silent, Jace could hear Alec’s voice in the back of his mind. ‘Bullshit, your dad isn’t just a bad person, he’s a monstrosity, he’s evil and never ever feel guilty for ditching that asshole, okay?‘
Of course, Valentine had reported his son missing to the police, there had been a concerned message they played over the radio, and Jace had never heard his father’s voice so raw and worried and close to tears and he had wondered, what if he was really missing him? What if things weren’t that bad after all? What if he had just needed that moment of Jace not being around to realize how much he missed and loved his son? What if?
But Alec had held him close and told him, if your father hit you once, he will hit you twice. And Jace had already been way past that second time before he’d finally run. No, he had decided, he wouldn’t go back because being with his father was scary, being with Alec was nice. Yes, Alec had been nice and had been there.
“Did you really like her?“ Jace’ head snapped up at the sudden change in topic and only then did he realize his tense muscles and the cold sweat running down his back. Jocelyn hadn’t moved. They were still leaving close to each other. “My daughter?“
“Yes,“ Jace said with big eyes because it was the first truth, that didn’t hurt as much as the others. “She’s amazing. I really wanted to spend more time with her, but-“ The pain was back and Jace saw the scene play out before his eyes like in a bad movie, the cheesy kind with all the stupid misunderstandings, with life being unfair, but it had never reached that Happy End. “But he was there.“
“He?“, Jocelyn whispered back, and by now they were two kids exchanging secrets, that would have other adults roll their eyes, but they didn’t care because sometimes secrets were darker than anybody could imagine. “Where was he?“
“At the vernissage.“
At the end of each year, the school held an exhibition with the best works of different classes and of course a few of Clary’s paintings had been among them. She had been so excited and she’d worn a dress so beautiful, Jace had temporarily questioned if she was indeed real. He had seen her from the window, when he’d of course been late. They had planned to meet in the garden behind the school, he’d even managed to get a rose from somewhere, but then his father had been there, all class and charm in a suit, with a tie and a smile. He’d congratulated Clary, mentioned how he’d been glad about his decision to donate money for one of the many art programs of the school.
And Jace’s world had shattered. He had been reminded of the cancer his father was, how he would invade anything, how he had money for everything, how he had the right smile for everyone. And Jocelyn had been there, too…
“You shook his hand.“ Jace’ voice became hoarse and his eyes were burning, his insides were raw with desperation and once again, did he want to hate the world.
“I shook a lot of hands that evening. If you could give me a name… ?“ It was an offer, he didn’t have to take, but he did it anyway.
“Valentine.“ He felt sick and sad and scared out of his mind. His heart was racing and every second he expected his father to appear in the door, demanding to take him home, being so overjoyed to have his son back, holding him only little too close, hugging him a little too tight. But it didn’t happen. What happened was, that Jocelyn’s eyes grew big and she jumped up from her chair.
“Your father is Valentine Morgenstern?“ Her voice was so full of shock and disbelief and something else, that Jace didn’t know how to handle it. He didn’t give an answer and apparently just fine by not saying anything. “That guy is your father?“
“Please don’t call him,“ Jace begged as he found his voice again, but Jocelyn only fiercely shook her head.
“Not a chance he’s going to get his hands on you, you’re going to stay here even if I have to adopt you myself.“
Jace was stunned into silence. It felt like talking to Alec and as he looked at Jocelyn staring back at him with a determination, that he’d never seen before, he began to wonder if this was what it felt like to have a mother.
-+-
Alec and Magnus sat on the short staircase leading down to the yard behind the orphanage while they waited for Jace to come back out of Jocelyn’s office. It wasn’t cold, but not really warm either that day, so they had taken one of the fluffy blankets they kept in the room with the only TV for movie nights. Both had been too lazy to go through the trouble of taking off the handcuffs to get warmer sweaters. So, for now they were huddled underneath the blanket and looked out over the yard, keeping an eye on some of the kids throwing a frisbee from one end to the other and occasionally hitting innocently bystanding bushes.
“Do you think, he’s going to be okay?“ Alec asked without looking at Magnus.
“She’s not going to eat him,“ was Magnus’ response and yes, he could see how that probably wasn’t the most helpful thing to say, but as he couldn’t judge the history between Jocelyn and Jace properly or anything else about his way till this point, he couldn’t really say for sure, what was going to happen. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Alec turning his head to look at him. He could practically feel the raised eyebrow and the annoyed glare, so he decided not to look back. Alec had a vicious way to judge with his eyes.
“Your social skills sometimes seriously suck, you know that?“, Alec muttered and Magnus couldn’t find a reason to argue with that.
“I know.“
Their handcuffed hands lay on the ground between them. They never held hands on that side and for a moment Magnus wondered why that was the case.
“Mine are pretty bad, too, though, so I guess you’re in good company,“ Alec remarked cheerfully, but there was something off about his voice, the cheerful tone was like plastic instead of metal. Cheap plastic. Magnus raised his eyes from the handcuffs, squinting at Alec, whose face fell as he started chewing on his lower lip.
“What’s up?“ he asked.
Alec clenched his hands into fists, the one on the ground, just like the one holding one side of the blanket. “Am I really that bad to be with?“ he muttered, adding a sigh that Magnus couldn’t read.
“Well, you’re not necessarily easy to be with the whole time …,“ he began slowly, but was almost instantly interrupted by Alec throwing his free hand into the air, which caused the blanket to slip from his shoulder.
“Yes, I know, but am I really that terrible … still, I mean, as terrible as …“ He stopped there and after watching his helpless expression for a few moments, Magnus softly added:
“As terrible as I said before?“ Alec nodded and it felt painful.
“I mean, you … you did like the rain, right?“ His voice was unusually timid and his whole being suddenly seemed expectedly vulnerable.  “That wasn’t a … not the whole day was bad, right? The … the rain was … nice.“
Magnus began to understand the whole weight of his earlier words. He realized, how easy it was for him to fall back into that motion of defending himself with being offensive, but what had he been defending himself against? Against Alec? Against Jace? He had felt attacked, yes, but by what? Against the idea of Alec having a friend, that he actually got along with … and it not being Magnus? Looking down that path was scary and it was a dark path, too.
Jace had asked him last night, if he felt judged for staying by those who left this place, left it without him. And maybe that was true. Maybe Magnus still hadn’t managed to work through the fact, that he wouldn’t get adopted before turning eighteen. Bad things happened to those, that came late. His father had taught him that, and whether or not was something true, it still resonated within him. Magnus always tried his best to be on time, even if it meant, that he was two hours early, sometimes just because the mere thought of the possibility to be late to certain appointments scared him to death. He was on time, whenever its was possible.
But he was too late for an adoption. He was too old by now and whenever somebody else got adopted, there was this faint image of his father looking down at him, hissing ‘you should have been on time‘. But he had been there, at the orphanage, he had been there all those years, but - it felt like he’d missed a train and he was still standing on a station, being upset at the fact, that his side had been abandoned. He couldn’t move before turning eighteen, but nobody would come for him before that. Nobody would come for him like Jace had come for Alec.
“I’m sorry,“ he whispered. “And you’re right, the rain was nice,“ he whispered. He was rewarded by a brilliant smile, but he wasn’t done yet. “I’m sorry, that I hurt you, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I couldn’t stand you. I … You’re not that bad.“ Alec’s smile turned from brilliant to proud. His eyes shone and there were crinkles around his eyes, that spoke of happiness and not age. Then he leaned closer and Magnus felt his heart beating in his ears.
“You’re not that bad, either.“
“Thank you.“
Jace chose that moment to walk through the door behind them and the moment was broken, but it left a pleasant buzz behind and Magnus didn’t feel like hating Jace anymore either. But when he looked at the other boy, he was instantly overcome by a very honest worry. Jace was pale and his eyes didn’t seem to really see his surroundings. He blinked at Magnus and Alec sitting on the second highest step of the short staircase and it seemed like it took him a while to recognize them.
“Hey,“ he said, his voice weak like his constitution appeared to be.
“Oh god, Jace, are you okay?“ Alec raised halfway from the staircase, moving closer to Magnus, to offer Jace the place on his other side. Jace allowed Alec to pull him down onto the stairs. He rubbed his face with both hands while Alec busied himself with spreading the blanket over his best friend, too. Magnus helped as good as that was possible from his side.
“What happened?“ he eventually asked, but held back with further inquiries, when Jace held up his hand in a defensive gesture.
“Just give me a moment, okay? Just a moment,“ he mumbled as he raised his head again. “I just need a moment.“ Then he turned towards Alec, leaning his head on the other’s shoulder, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “This is so messed up.“
Alec smiled down at him, hugging him with one arm and rubbing his shoulder with his free hand, while whispering “That’s life.“
Following a sudden feeling, Magnus put his chin on Alec’s other shoulder and added:
“Yeah, but we survived it so far, so we’re also pretty damn awesome, I would say.“ It startled a smile out of both of them, so Magnus counted that as a success. Maybe he wasn’t standing at a station somewhere, waiting for a train, maybe he was in a train, that simply hadn’t reached the right station yet.
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lalka-laski · 4 years
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If you were given three things to make you happy, what would these be? A brain rid of anxiety & insecurity A better paying/less stressful job A killer body How would you rank the following in importance: family, career, love life? Well, I’d group family and love life in the same category because when you find your soulmate, he/she becomes part of your family (regardless of marital status). Nothing comes before family. And all of that is entirely more important than career. Jobs are expendable, transferable. Our loved ones are not.  Which would you prefer: having a baby without a partner or a partner without a baby? For a long time I kind of envisioned myself in the former situation. But now that I have the love of my life, I wouldn’t trade him for anything. I do hope we have kids someday but I try not to stress about making it a priority. Spending my life with him is what matters.  What was your experience about being “mansplained,” and what did you do about it? I call out men each & every time they do that. I don’t have the tolerance.  Who was your favorite cartoon character when you were a kid? Princess Aurora! And she still is. I’m wearing a Sleeping Beauty bangle as we speak. 
Do you think God is real, and why? I have a fluid idea of what/who I believe God to be.  Do you believe in giving people second chances, and why? Absolutely. I would have never improved & evolved if it weren’t for the people in my life who gave me second (and third and fourth) chances. That’s how we grow. How would you describe your first crush? I was in kindergarten. His name was Jake. We ended up hooking up senior year of high school.  Better late than never, huh? Do you ever keep a journal? For my entire life. I have a whole box of over 30 journals ranging from age 9 to the present.  Do you think people fall in love because the right person has arrived, or because the time is right (regardless of whom the person is that they fall in love with)? Timing *is* a factor but ultimately love is about the individual person.  How do you feel about the #MeToo movement? I fully support it. What else do you expect me to say? What do you look for in a relationship? I never realized how important the element of FUN is for me until I dated Glenn. We’re very playful; constantly joking and making each other laugh. Several people have remarked to us that we always look like we’re having a good time in each other’s company. And we are! I think I had an unhealthy expectation of relationships in the past. I thought passion was only achieved through intense conversations, tearful arguments, violent sex. But Glenn & I have a magnetizing connection and mind-blowing passion, all while being each other’s best friends. Our relationship is rooted in JOY. And it’s the most beautiful thing. Other non-negotiable qualities are support and empathy (particularly when it comes to understanding my anxiety) and of course, loyalty. What is your idea of a perfect date? I love a traditional wining & dining. I’m not a fan of activity-based dates if you’re just meeting the person. Something about it feels awkward to me. I’d rather just sit in a relaxed environment, enjoy some good food & drink and chat away. What legacy do you want people to remember about you after you’re gone? I’d like to be remembered as a bright spot in people’s lives.
Have you ever asked a guy out on a date? No way. Not because I subscribe to gender roles or anything. But simply because I’m not a move maker. What was the most important lesson you’ve learned from your past relationship? Where to even begin? -You shouldn’t ever have to beg for attention or affection from your partner -Love should be celebrated & shared, not hidden like a dirty secret -Crying during/immediately after sex is not healthy -A man’s refusal to stop when you explicitly ask him to is the definition of ASSAULT
What book influenced you the most? I could never pick just one What’s a deal-breaker for you in a relationship? Well I’d like to say abuse or assault is a deal-breaker, but my response from a few questions ago proves that’s not the case. Although, I’ve learned my lesson since then. Also any kind of infidelity is unacceptable. Are you a morning or a night person? I’ve become more of a night person lately  How important is trust in a relationship? It’s the backbone of any healthy relationship How do you feel about infidelity? There is no room for it in a healthy relationship Do you believe that the day will arrive when humans will be replaced by machines in almost all aspects of life? Not entirely. I think machines will replace lots of menial (or even extraordinary) tasks but I don’t think humans will just cease to exist. What do you think is humankind’s greatest invention? I’m not trying to be snarky but the first thing that came to mind was pizza. Delivery pizza, to be specific. Do you ever think about how dope it is that you can get the greatest food in existence delivered to your door with just a few clicks of your phone? PRICELESS.  Do you think that humans are doing more harm than good to the planet? Oh 100% What is your take on telepathy? I think some people have stronger intuitive senses than others but I don’t believe in straight-up telepathy  What is your favorite workout routine? I don’t do shit, my dude Would you rather be called vain or insecure? I’ve been called both. And to be honest, I *AM* both. Although I’m only vain in the context of myself.  What important lesson did a close relative teach you? Be generous with your “I love you”s. You can never say it too much. 
What part of your body do you find attractive? My collarbones are my favorite feature Which would you choose to be: law-abiding citizen or rule breaker, and why? I’m a law-abiding citizen. I function best when strict rules are in place.  What is your ideal vacation? My dream trip is Poland or Iceland. But I’d take a vacation almost anywhere at this point. What superpowers did you wish you had when you were a kid? Teleportation or time-travel. Tbh, I still do. Are you a mountain or a beach person? Beach! What mythical animal do you resonate with, and why? A mermaid maybe because I love to swim? Funny Which member of your family do you feel closest to, and why? My sisters & my cousin Rachel. My sisters are kinda self-explanatory and my cousin Rachel & I are close in age and have very similar interests so we’ve always gotten along.  Who do you consider your best friend in your workplace? I like all my coworkers for the most part but my best friends no longer work here.  What three adjectives would describe you? Sensitive, imaginative, flighty.  If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose? I’m pretty content with where I live now, in all honesty. What are you passionate about in life? Spreading love & joy What quality in a person do you fall in love with? Humor, wit, compassion, sensitivity  Have you had your heart broken before? Sure have. Do not recommend it!  What is your take on astrology? I find it fascinating but I take it all with a grain of salt. And I certainly don’t let it dictate my life. I just have fun with it.  What is your life’s soundtrack? Ideally it’d be something dreamy & whimsical! Slightly Disney-esque.  When was the last time you spoke with a classmate from high school? I’m texting with my high school best friend right now Are you left- or right-handed, and would you want to switch? Right handed. What subject were you good at in high school? English Do you find it difficult to admit that you are wrong, and why? I always take the blame & have no problem admitting I’m wrong. Even when I know I’m not...  Do you get excited or scared when meeting new people? Both but probably more nervous than excited What is your secret hobby that others would consider weird? I love reading inmate’s profiles on writeaprisoner.com and then researching their crimes How do you cope with stressful situations? HA HA HA, not well... Is there anything that you would like to change about yourself? Quite a lot. I’d like to be calmer and more disciplined. What musical instrument do you know how to play? None, although I’d love to learn something Which would you prefer in a romantic partner: a dreamer or an achiever? An achiever. What is your favorite part of a house, and why? My bedroom. It’s calm & cozy and decorated perfectly to my liking. Who is the fictional character who closely resembles you in terms of attitude? Elle Woods, on my best days. When you were a kid, what did you say you wanted to be when you grew up? An author. And that’s still true! What was the title of the first movie you watched in a movie theater? I think it was The Hunchback of Notre Dame but I’d have to confirm with my mom When was the last time you slept outdoors? A little cat nap on the beach not too long ago What is something that you are proud of about yourself? I’m proud of myself for making it through this ten hour shift today. Gotta take all the little victories I can get! What song do you often sing in the shower? I don’t sing in the shower much anymore since Glenn’s moved in. He’s a legitimate singer and I don’t want him to hear my voice What do you feel is the right age for people to get married? There isn’t one. Simply whenever you both feel ready & willing.  What would be your super villain name and your powers? SuperSensitive Girl, and I’d get my way by crying.  What three non-electric or non-automatic items would you take on a deserted island? Provided I already have food & drinking water, I’d bring a journal and pen (I’m counting that as one), my baby blanket and my book collection (also counting that as “one” item).  If “hello” were to be replaced by another word as a greeting, what word would that be? Hey? What is the weirdest thing that your family does together? I don’t know, we’re pretty weird...  What was the most embarrassing thing that you’ve done for a friend? I cannot disclose that here :X What would be the title of the movie showing your life from birth up to present? Work in Progress? I know, I know, that’s cheesy. But I’m too fried to think of something more creative. This survey has been LOOOONG! What fashion piece would you invent for women? Pants with functional pockets is a CONCEPT What is the single most important thing people should do for the planet? Um, recycle I guess? Truly, I don’t know. How do you define evil, and do you believe that a person can be evil? Of course I believe people can be evil. Anyone who intentionally inflicts harm on another person/animal/infrastructure is evil.  What do you think are the two things that prevent people from realizing their dreams? MONEY and access. As much as I’d like to say it’s our own limiting beliefs & bullshit that prevents us from achieving our goals, it’s really access to resources that makes or breaks you.  Would you lay down your life for someone? A few people 
What word or term do you wish to know the meaning of? I can just Google the definition of any word I choose. The internet is a magical place! What makes you nostalgic? Girl, what DOESN’T make me nostalgic?  Do you believe that each of us has a soul mate? I do, but I don’t necessarily think that person is always a romantic partner. And I do believe in multiple soulmates.  How would you live your remaining days if you found out you had only a week to live? Oh God, I can’t think about this! Do you listen to other people’s advice, or do you prefer figuring things out yourself? I’d prefer if I could hand off all my problems to someone else & have them solve them. I don’t like being responsible for myself! Imagine that you are tasked to re-design society - what changes would you make? I absolutely would not want to be assigned that task. (Lol- copping the previous survey’s answer because SAME).  What’s the perfect day for you? Sleeping in, hitting up the beach for some reading & swimming, then maybe a nice dinner & drinks somewhere fun? Would you wait for the sun to rise or for it to set, and why? Both are beautiful and majestic! If you were born in another era, when would that period in history be and why? There’s so many concerts from the 80s and early 90s I would’ve killed to see!  Have you made someone cry? Never intentionally but nonetheless, yes.  What is the most astonishing act that a person can do for you? For me it’s all about the small but significant gestures. What I love about Glenn is that he takes note of things about me that I don’t even notice myself, and then acts accordingly. For example, apparently I always complain I’m freezing when I get out of the shower (I never realized this) so he always turns the AC off while I’m in there so that I’m a comfortable temperature when I get out. Stuff like that means the world to me. What is more important: being true to yourself regardless of who gets hurt or considering the consequences of your actions on other people’s lives?We should all consider the impact of our actions on other people. It’s selfless and irresponsible not to.  If you die tonight, would you pass away fulfilled or unsatisfied with life? Can we not....?
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autumnal asks
I reblogged this last week and I’m finally in the mood to actually do this.
“This” being purge out all the things I’ve never said out loud, feel like I say too much, and just pretty much in between, while listening to  listen to Ari Lennox , SiR, and Snoh Aalegra.
lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other? - I met my best friend through a mutual friend in the 8th grade or right after it, I’m not sure. My first impression was “Wow, this girl has a personality. Not in the “Oh! She’s so funny.” No i mean, this girl has opinions, and their different than mine. Man, she has these views and she has them so much conviction." She is intimidating and I’m not sure if I’m ready for this >.>
Turns out I did, we would wax and we would wane, and now my faith in our relationship is as strong as my belief in the moon always making her way back to us.
frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say? - don’t wait, just do it. be selfish, it’s okay to want what you want. you’ll always find a way so don’t be scared to leave. be diligent in your relationships, be that family or friends. you don’t know when they’ll need you or you’ll need that person. let people know you love them. don’t be scared, don’t worry, be young, want, love, but continue to trust your gut, it’s always (99.99999%) right.
maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did? - man, ha. Uhm, I guess archery. I’ve loved it since i was 8 and i watch inuyasha with my cousin for the first time on vacation in Applevalley, CA.
harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why? - Ooh, that’s tough.. I feel like I find myself in all the heroines I read about. If I had to choose though, I’d certainly say at this time, Emi from the Red Winter Trilogy by Annette Marie.
*oh shit, slide away by miley cyrus just came on. it’s lit.
fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like? - ooooooh, {((>,<))} such a colorful variety, but only like 50% the other 50% needs to be my neutrals (black, grey, white, and more black.) So I’d have jackets and hoodies upon themselves, LOTS of denim, a pair of overalls, tees, sweaters, crop tops, high-waisted errthang. off the shoulders shirts, blouses whatever. belts -i never have any of these and i have no idea why,- but yeah it be easier to just look at my pinterest board lol
cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy? - mmm, honey mustard. that’s a condiment i know. truly though, it was a breakthrough.
amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have. - yeeeeeeekkkkk, i think gender roles are okay as like an outline, but then once you have your kid and he/she starts having opinions you can swap out things or trash it who cares for what your child feels comfortable, and your family supportive.
fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario? - dawg. i feel like given the right resources, i’d do okay. def steal a truck/suv, grab my crew, and drive out to the country and stay on a farm or some shit.
jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose? wellll, zendaya. I’ve heard i favor her and i don’t all the way see it but if i really could have those brows and face structure, yeesh. imma be stuck up.
spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted? - my elementary school had this story about the basement being haunted from a custodian killing her. and i was dared to use the restroom down there. i def got the bottom step and straight hustled out that mufucka.
orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn. -i’d like to feel connected. that blissed out feeling of the breeze coming over your body on that cool day, but with a person.
crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for? - wish? hmm, language. had i felt more comfortable i may have went into college for some writing/ communications major from the start.
bonfire - describe your dream house. - too long. but here’s go killing time. dark green, black accents covering the exterior. a beautiful front porch, yes with the swing. gorgeous deck for entertaining, back yard with fence but 3 good and full trees to provide more privacy from the neighbors, toward the back so that way on the deck i can see the sky and moon at night. inside.. a mud room from the 2 car garage at the end of the mud room to the side the laundry room complete with shelves for the washing/drying items and hangers for the the gentles. in the opposite direction you walk into a spacious kitchen. complete with a double over, sitting on top of each other, large cabinets that at as the pantry, cabinets on cabinets on cabinet space. a fun but elegant back splash. the island/breakfast bar. deep double sinks, stretching into the living room just this is getting way to detailed and i’ll finish the rest. but bottom line. great vanities in my bathrooms, 2 upstairs, a half bath down stairs. (yes 2 stories and finished basement which also has a half.) 4 bedrooms master connected to bathroom with huge claw bath. another for the kids (2-3) if no 3rd kid forth room is an office/ we use for reading, writing all dat. you know what this is my dream so regardless of children i will have this. filled with lots of laughter, love, smiles, talks, discussions, advice, and understanding. 
cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where? - man, i would say something crazy like oh with the samurais and shit and then have to remember women have always had it rough everywhere and we still do! and add that on to the fact that i am color? not really bout it. but it women right’s were the same. i would go back the edo period, or when america bounced back from the depression. oh wait i wanna avoid all the WW’s... yeah every time period had their hangups. 
cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school? - nah, i really just miss the responsibilities. they truly weren’t anything. 
cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on? my hair.
maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street. - i’m not sure about strange, that gives it a negative feel to me. but on my 25th birthday i was drunk downtown with my friends and while walking back to the car i heard this guy (the stranger) talking about sauske (from naruto, clearly) was the greatest character in the series, and i just yell out “sauske’s a bitch.” dude took it in stride and was saying how come? and i proceed to have this existential conversation on the street at like 3 am about naruto. NARUTO. it was like a dream come true. but definitely the most random.  
quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)? - coffee, a quarter of it needs to be creamer (flavored preferably) with 2 sugars. tea, i am surprisingly starting to put cream in it, like that only 1-2 sugars. without 2-3 sugars. I like my stuff sweet, sue me? 
pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?  -this is tough. i guess since we are born “in sin” we are inherently bad? we’re taught in life what our morals are and what things we shouldn’t do. 
moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly? - eat, neat, neat. if messy it is a organized chaos. my house is orderly now i just got done cleaning before i took a shower and started this. 
flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date? - yesssssssssssssss. yes. yes. he was sooo fine too. like just great looking. still love looking at him on instagram attractive. but he was just so materialistic and judge mental. he still shoots his shot from time to time and i be like... should i? then i’m like nah, he always annoys you when you do. 
cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?- and it be natural? i love to be a natural red hed. i think they are just bombshells. i know they get the fire crotch jokes growing up but i’m skipping that phase. and cut? i think i would keep a medium borderline bob hair cut. 
ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life? - i don’t miss anyone that ... wait i miss my penguin girl. but i was going to say that the person i miss in moments like this is someone i’ve haven’t met yet. 
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