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#impulse watching intently kills me
horsemeatluvr23 · 24 days
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they're about to kiss....
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skelliko · 8 months
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☆- Tokyo revengers
-how they'd confess to you (their crush)
๑-featuring: kazutora, chifuyu, Baji
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°- Kazutora hanemiya
• the second his feelings for you grew he'd try and shut them away, almost refusing himself to like someone like that
• as the days, weeks and even months went past and you both talking more his feelings grew too big for his poor heart and would try to escape him
• he'd unintentionally do or say things that might hint his feelings and doesn't even realise it until he's alone and is looking back at the interaction, he would immediately mentally kick himself thinking he did something bad whilst repeatedly calling himself 'stupid'
• at some point he took hold of your hand and inspected your nails without asking you and without thinking, "your hands are soft" he'd softly mentioned
• another time that might have showed his feelings was when he went in to hug you when you both decided to hang out, a hug is normal sure but it was the way he did it, pressed together and his cheek laid down on your head, it wasn't his full intention
• he doesn't want to lose you at all and grows jealous very easily of others who your talking to, if anything even a little protective
• from afar in school if he notices you talking to other guys even if you've clarified their not who you'd go for romantically he'd still keep an eye on you, watching from afar with sharp eyes almost waiting for a moment to leap in
• oh if looks can kill he'd probably have killed every guy you have possibly interacted with without you knowing
• after school he'd walk up to you if you're alone and would ask you about what you were talking about with another guy, what and why?
• 'why him, why not me?' though he never asked you that and never will
• his jealousy would be noticeable sometimes as the time went on and he even knows it but can't hide it and it frustrates him for not being able to
• he'd rant about his feelings and you to Baji and would jump from being angry at himself to being in awe when he mentions you
• his breaking point was when you told kazutora that someone had confessed to you but you turned it down, he'd worry that someday he might be in that same situation as the previous guy, and for that he wouldn't talk to you for a week
• kazutora would believe that you dont deserve someone like him, that you're better off with someone else
• well he tried to ignore you, he didn't talk to you but you came and talked to him and he wasn't gonna be mean and shut you down, how could he? you're almost his everything, shutting you away would mean he's intentionally putting himself in misery
• he'd still beat himself up and self sabotage but one day in lesson while thinking about you and taking secret glances at you, his leg would bounce up and down with nervousness
• he'd see your smile, hear your laugh and voice and with that his mind was made up, he needed to make you his
• on the same day while walking you home he took a deep breath and silently let it go to calm his nerves down
• his confession was a bit impulsive
• "I like you... a lot" he'd blurt it out after a minute of silence between you to, in his mind he decided to go ahead and 'fuck it'
• he tried to look you in the eyes but he couldn't and would look away after a second or two
• his expression was calm but deep down boy was panicking and a total mess, his heart beat increasing and the urge to just hug you right there and then was too much for him, he didn't even know your answer yet
• "let me call you mine, and I, yours"
°- Chifuyu matsuno
• at first he didn't want his feelings to grow any more than they already have due to him having self doubt in himself
• the more time you guys hung out and talked the more he noticed how his feelings grew
• he loves to listen to you rant about certain topics even if he doesn't know what you're talking about, he'd nod along and keep listening just to hear your voice and keep your attention on him and no one else
• he'd share his food with you
• for a few times when he'd read his manga, in his mind briefly he'd think of the two main love interests as him and you, making himself feel giddy and that was when his thoughts to confess developed
• he'd be subtle about it yet pretty obvious at the same time without even noticing it himself
• whenever he'd see you talking to another guy he'd stand off in the distance and keep an eye on the two of you just observing, he'd grow jealous but not to the extent as kazutora- though he did wish he could walk on over there and stand behind you while looking at the guy like your guard dog
• he'd be both nervous and excited in confessing to you (he wussed out 5 times)
• one of the times was when you both decided to hang out and there was comfortable silence while he walked you back home, his mind was racing as this could be a good opportunity but while preparing his words in his mind over and over you both neared your home and he decided to give it up for the day
• another opportunity he turned down was another hang out, but he specifically wanted to hang out so he could confess to you, but every little thing you'd do and say would make his heart skip a beat and fuzz up his brain, he was love struck
• and then every other opportunity was the same and ended the same too, with a love letter.
• he'd carry around a love letter in his bag or pocket in hopes of finding his courage to give it to you, either by placing it in your school locker or on your desk or slipping it underneath your house door and then message you to check your door. however he didn't do neither of them.
• he would make up scenarios in his head on how he would and in all of those scenarios he'd make himself full of courage and you always saying yes to his confession, and that would boost his ego but the second he's back in reality his ego and confidence gets flattened
• he'd try and get advice from his friends but not straight up admit that he has a crush (apart from Baji, he knows) he'd ask his friends 'how would you guys confess to someone?'
• though they would immediately catch on about his 'little' crush after that question, though the answers chifuyu hoped for wasn't what he was looking for since they all started to tease and question him instead
• a crisp and clean white envelope with a neatly written love letter inside
• he was encouraging himself behind a corner in school with the love letter in his hand. he had to rewrite it because it started to get crumpled up for the long period of time it had been in his bag and then transferred in his pockets too much
• he finally decided that he lingered over the thought for too long and today was the day he'll finally confess
• while making his way to your locker to slip the letter through the lined gaps he had accidentally bumped into someone due to him not paying attention to his surroundings but instead focusing on his plan so that he doesn't back out
• seeing you this close in the situation that he's putting himself into wasn't helping at all since he was already a bit of a nervous mess to begin with but the tried so hard to contain his emotions
• he had dropped the letter and his heartbeat increased upon seeing that he had bumped into you (quite cliché I know)
• as he apologized for walking into you, you had picked up the envelope and tried to give it back to chifuyu, though he didn't take it back, he just started at it while being deep in thought
• "I... uhh..." he'd stumble on his word a little bit but soon enough he mentally slapped himself and told him to man the fuck up.
• "keep it, the letter is yours. I wrote it for you and meant to give it to you for a long while, you don't have to read it now and I'd probably prefer you not to"
• he'd nervously laugh a little at the end due to the thought of you reading it in front of him put him a little on edge, though a part of him also kind of wanted you to, just to see your reaction
• either way though, he'll be waiting for your response soon
°- Baji Keisuke
• he's gained a good few confessions in the past but would always turn them down, so when he started talking to you and you seemed to not gain any feelings for him that would make his interest perk up
• his ego was quite big but wouldn't use that to his advantage nor brag about it, he'd just always be expecting something but then get shocked and confused if what usually happens doesn't happen
• and it's not like you guys would talk a lot though, majority of the times it's him who starts a conversation despite sitting next to each other in class
• he'd be aware of his own feelings for you but would just brush it off like a 'whatever' thing and think it'd pass by (that never happened)
• whenever he could when you're up and about the classroom talking to your friends he'd sit back and look at you without noticing he's staring
• he'd only look away if he sees you take a step or shuffle a little causing his heartbeat to increase hoping you didn't catch him
• he's a bit of a tsundere
• he wouldn't want to admit to himself that he likes you but soon enough at night while thinking about you he fully realises the extent to his feelings, "ah shit" he'd whisper to himself
• he'd panic, it was that sort of thing where before you couldn't care less about something but upon noticing the extent of it your whole mindset had changed causing you to shift emotions about it
• he'd be in denial but at the same time also accept it, it wasn't a bad thing for him, he just hated being all sappy and hates that turning feeling in his stomach when thinking about you
• if he can't remember math equations it's cause he's been trying to memorize your schedule, what time you come in school, where you go at breaks, who you talk to, the basics
• but he wouldn't ask you those questions, he's observant half the time and would eavesdrop at any given chance he could get and gain information about you that way
• though that doesn't mean he won't talk to you, as mentioned before he will come to you and talk.
• he'd ask for help with his work and secretly he'd be smug about it cause he got your attention
• he'd warm up to you slowly and tease you a lot at any chance he can get and he enjoys your reactions and loves it even more when you talk back in the same attitude as him showing that you can return the same energy
• he'd randomly message you with a singular letter in the dead of night knowing that your asleep, just so he gets a message from you in the morning even if it's a question mark or the same letter
• example: o
• and then from there he'd make a conversation and shamelessly ask you about the other guy that you talked with at lunch (someone's a little jealous)
• he'd be deep in thought at the thought of being in a possible relationship with you, was it what he wanted? was it something that you wanted?
• he'd think over many different scenarios that could possibly happen, from how'd it be like being in a relationship with you, what he would do, what you would do. and he'd always catch himself smiling at just the thought of you
• it was a bit of an impulsive decision, like kazutora had
• one day he asked you to meet up and you agreed and half way through the hang out he'd spill his guts out
• "I like you, I can't remember the last time I had control over my own mind since you came in"
• he hates the sappy stuff, he mentally cringed after he said that but when it came to you he'd feel all mushy on the inside and felt like he needed to be around you all the time, in a way he couldn't help it all
• he'd be a little nervous at first but after he said the first few words of his confession he grew confident and would carry on with the confidence
• his sharp eyes would soften as he waited for your response, his heartbeat increasing and open for you
 ♡ -----
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weebsinstash · 6 months
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hey, can I have more husband and wife family dynamics with thragg? maybe more about her pregnancy or the kids' childhood/baby time?
Sure can! It's been pretty fun writing about potential scenarios where this monstrous piece of shit can actually feel love. First and foremost I was watching a video on YouTube going over this scene again and uh Comic Readers KNOW How Fucked This Man Is. um, out of context vague spoilers but, I'm assuming people asking about Thragg have read the comics or are curious about the comics but like yall Need To Know how he treats the kids of his enemies
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I feel like I need to share/remind people of this scene because like, this man can be kind of hard to pin down. He's from this loveless society that sees kindness as weakness and he's like King Dickhead but there are still times when he can be quite courteous, even apologetic, sarcastic, whatever. I think at the end of the day he's just a very selfish, explosive, emotionally impulsive man but revisiting this scene was a little surprising for me since I forgot he was even like, capable of "small kindnesses" like saying sorry or whatever. Like. Is him wiping her tears while smearing blood all over her face a well intentioned accident or is he like waging psychological warfare on this like, i think she's literally 5 years old. What is the purpose of him apologizing to a child for splashing blood of her family member on her when he intends to kill her or leave her for dead in front of her dying parents anyways. I'm still trying to get a feel on this man
THAT BEING SAID, moving on, we're talking about a yandere Thragg today and thankfully that comes with perks
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- it's pretty obvious but like, you are his favorite mate and your children are his favorite children. I like to think of concepts with Reader being Ursaal and Onaan's mother or even the previously mentioned triplet idea with Mark being their sibling (otherwise I'd have to invent new characters and that doesn't, resonate the same, and I also really like Ursaal actually and I feel like there's some real story potential in Ursaal discovering more of her humanity through her mother's kindness and wanting to protect her mother from her father)
-can you imagine like. I still think about the idea where you're actually Nolan's mate but one day you mouth off to Thragg and he "puts you in your place" in front of Nolan as a punishment to you both and like a month later you find out you're pregnant and, I imagine abortions are only done on Viltrum if the fetus is too weak or defective, so you're forced to carry it and you and Nolan are lying that it's his and then one day Thragg just, passes by, sees your swelling tummy, takes one sniff of you, "it's mine" and demands a paternity test. And you'd think, "oh surely he'd just take the baby" which is what you'd prefer but, no it becomes a pretext for him to steal you from Nolan altogether
-you're fed incredibly nutrient dense, protein packed, ultimate pregnancy food because Thragg wants those babies as healthy as possible. Thragg has probably had other alien kids before but these are his first hybrid or nearly fully Viltrumite children and that makes them special. New dad Thragg holding up these little absolute mammoths of newborns with all their chunk and pudge and rolls and he's just so proud, "look at how robust these children are! Surely they have inherited my strength! Fine additions to the Viltrum Empire were born on this day" and you're like half awake in bed and he just, pets your hair
-ok just. Ok just picture it like. You're pregnant and upset and so stressed out because you didn't want to be Nolan's mate after he helped conquer Earth but at least you had known him and liked him initially. You're just constantly stressed out and angry and watching every single word you say around Thragg because you don't know him or what he's capable of, but I imagine a sort of scenario where he's taking you to the doctor and running tests and procedures and just, you know prenatal checkup stuff, but the doctors are all speaking to Thragg instead of you, you aren't even being told your own test results, and the two of you finally arrive back home and you just break down crying and kind of tear into him, "I'm sure YOU have had lots of kids before but I'VE never had a baby before and I don't know what to expect or what's going to happen or- or -" and you're just bawling because, it's not a lie you're scared. You're having a baby and you're gonna be a new mom and it's entirely against your will, out of your control, and that's incredibly stressful. And this becomes a moment where Thragg actually shows some humanity by sitting you down and discussing the doctors visit with you, and that's one of the first times the two of you actually have a civil, extended conversation
Thragg thinking he's so fucking big and tough and then he sees you this little fragile fleshy untrained civillian with the big teary boo hoo eyes with your shaking hands on your little belly as you cry about being scared about giving birth to his baby and he's just, "shit I DO have feelings" and immediately feels the overwhelming need to comfort you. He'll comfort you under the guise of "stress isn't good for the children" which is true but, it's him blanketing his own concern and masking it under an excuse
-I kind of feel like that hypothetical event would be like, a footnote in your relationship. He starts treating you differently, attentive in new ways, more... emotional ways. He'll stop by while he's working on a break or something to check on with you and the assigned caretakers he has guarding you (because the very second you're confirmed pregnant you have 24/7 security) and he'll awkwardly grunt out questions about, have you eaten yet, are you experiencing any pain today, any discomfort, any new symptoms. He'll check in with your guards/nannies privately about if there's anything you're doing that he needs to know about, give tou a nice husbandly shoulder touch and then (reluctantly) getting back to work
-to be blunt part of me questions if he even has sex to create children or if he uses something akin to IVF and I only say this because of the absolute ASSEMBLY LINE he sets up on Thraxia. Trust me though he beats the kitty up with you CONSTANTLY
-I actually think after giving birth is like the ONE time you're allowed any birth control because apparently if you have too many pregnancies in too close time frames it actually sucks the calcium out of your bones and can give you osteoarthritis and Thragg wants you healthy, "for more future children obviously" which is such a lie because let's say you have your miracle birth of giving him twins or triplets or whatever but you hemmorage and become infertile or whatever. Mf is STILL keeping you around. When you think about it he technically doesn't even need you to help raise his children, he has people for that, but he forces you to be part of the process anyways
- tbh I kind of like the idea of Thragg developing some weird fucking like complex where he discovers he feels comforted cuddling you, like man gets hit by oxytocin like a fucking freight train, and it becomes him literally being unable to sleep without you in his arms. You could be in a yelling screaming argument with this man and he suddenly like, just completely shuts you down, "ENOUGH!! I require rest and I won't tolerate anymore of your childish whining!" And you could be spitting mad at him and he's just, picking you up just physically picks you up and drags you to bed anyways. Hooks his arms around your waist as the big spoon and buries his face in your hair even as you spit insults about how you hope he kills himself
Like I think I've mentioned this idea with other characters before but imagine Thragg waking up on the middle of the night IMMEDIATELY PISSED because the bed beside him is cold and he finds you on the couch, on the couch, maybe even without blankets and visibly uncomfortable, because yeah he WILL wake you up to drag you back to bed with him.
- Thragg being this warrior who literally watched people be disembowled and tortured and conquered races but suddenly you're in labor and he's in the delivery room (he refuses to wait outside) watching you literally scream in pain and he just, takes your hand and tells you to squeeze, and that it'll be alright, and he sees you so vulnerable and scared and emotional and you're looking to him for some kind of help but he can't, even with all his strengths and feats he can't help you right now, however this pregnancy goes is up to fate and the doctors and he feels like an actual visceral HUMBLING sense of helplessness that just makes him, even more obsessively protective over you
- deadass if it becomes a "he can only save one: you or the children" life-threatening pregnancy scenario, he chooses you. Says you can always try again but even if you wind up infertile and "useless" to him, he's too attached to you at this point, it doesn't matter if you "don't serve a function" or whatever bullshit Viltrumite mindset he may have had with previous mates before. You're different to him, and you're making HIM different as a person
- You're just half alive on the couch because Giving Birth is Hard and here's Thragg doing shit like personally bringing you water, feeling your forehead for any fever, monitoring your condition, aggressively interrogating your guards for extra info, sitting beside you with your babies in his arms. He lets you rest after giving birth and nearly bends over backwards
- I feel like at some point you're forced to accept a lot of real fucked up stuff and especially if you are a hybrid Vultrimite yourself and thus will be with Thragg for, basically forever, like some real "mate, do you have any cravings today. What do the children require" "ummm... at the ceremony last month, there was that... blue, little.... crab thing?" "A Florkian. They are incredibly rare" "oh... I'm sorry, I didn't know-" " -and since I observed that you were fond of the taste when you were consuming them, I went ahead and conquered their homeworld and farms have been established. I can have the slaves prepare a dish for you right away" "oh, thank you, ive been craving it ever since i ate it but i didnt want to bother by asking 🥰" "as your mate it is my duty to provide for you. Do not keep any of your desires from me"
- your children are getting trained as soldiers the second they develop powers and that's something you'll have to get used to. If your little babies get their powers at 5, they're still learning combat, getting knocked around, near beaten, "toughened up". Thragg will conceal the full extent of how they're treated from you because the way he sees it, you weren't raised on Viltrum and you're simply ignorant of their culture. He doesn't need you to accept how things are. Your kids will come home with black eyes and bruises and bloodied noses and he'll growl at you not to make them too soft as you weep over Ursaal missing a chunk of her hair because an opponent grabbed her by it and she had to break away and some was ripped out at her scalp, like. The psychological damage of asking your small child how their day with their father went, "it was excellent mother, I made my first kill!!" And then gleefully describing to you in detail how while their father was fighting an enemy soldier, the soldiers child attacked yours, and, your baby killed another kid. Like. That's the sort of thing you have to be raised with to block out of your heart. Going to hug your child who may not even be 10 years old and they have literal blood on their hands
-personal headcanon but also semi canon but I imagine Ursaal is the most competent of your twins and is Thragg's favorite. She just has a better tactical mind on her shoulders and isn't, uh. As horribly sadistically violent as Onaan. Like say your kids become platonic yandere or whatever, or, you have your own kids with thragg and the twins are separate but still attached to you. Onaan is the kid you find killing cats because he's jealous they get more attention than him while Ursaal is like, giving her father incredibly detailed reports and her own insight into what you've been up to, how you're feelings, things you say and do when Thragg isn't around
-so I know y'all see that image I posted with Thragg and his twins. I tried to censor, The Cape last time but I realized like, even with censoring the head it's still super obvious who that is, there's only one white furred creature in this entire show. I imagine after Thragg gets his Beast Drip that, once Throkk's daughter comes for revenge, she is also slaughtered, and her pelt becomes YOUR cape. Or maybe Thragg offhandedly mentions to you that BB Jr has vowed vengeance and you're casually flipping through a book, "is she as strong as her father, like if you had to rate it 1 to 10 with her father being 10 and 1 being a human. If the daughter is at about a 7 or below, Ursaal should be able to handle her, get herself a nice coat to match her father" and Thragg feels this warmth in his chest to hear you're actually observant of his/your children and their prowess, especially to hear you praise Ursaal in such a uh violent context, just casually suggesting his daughter could turn another sentient humanoid creature into a pelt to wear. This is another example of "living the viltrum life will eventually dehumanize you and rob you of certain empathies"
- I don't think you would actually have a title but could you imagine if Thragg decides you're like, officially his true mate, like the mate above all others, like you're the Empress in his little harem of concubines and ladies in waiting. I hc that your official title is something like Grand Duchess or perhaps if this is the twin/triplet scenario something more vaguely historical sounding like The High Mother or Regent Mother or, you get the point
-I still think "Reader turns out to be an incredibly late blooming hybrid" is a neat concept but I also don't know how they would miss that since during your pregnancy and all you're receiving medical care out the ass but like. Thragg personally training both you and the children as a family. Would be kind of humiliating honestly because it's kind of vaguely implied you should learn things before the kids do and if you struggle, here's Thragg, telling his kids in private they have to protect you and keep an eye on you and report any problems back to him
- thragg would definitely be training you in hand to hand but suddenly finds he can't bear hitting you in the face or hitting you at a certain strength. Like. Absolutely 100% you're gonna have a lot of scenarios where you're brawling or wrestling and he pins you and it swiftly transitions to you getting rawdogged from your high on adrenaline husband. Tbh that sex would probably be his favorite, where he has to defeat you in combat and then rewards himself. Can probably border from hatesex to consensual to noncon, not that he has a problem doing THAT to you either
- probably has portraits done of you and him. Idk do you think Viltrum has like enough art culture for portraits to be a thing? Most fascist tyrants have portraits. He would have several done: you and him, just you, you while pregnant, him and you while pregnant, you holding your babies, you and him holding your babies, and family shots as they grow up. Say you conquer a planet together as a family and one day you're revisiting and there's some sort of museum set up amd you find like a wall length portrait of, you and your children soaked in blood tearing carnage through the fire and flames and Thragg is beside you just nodding in approval, "they captured your image rather well"
- goooooddddd imagine you're just a normal human and you progressively start showing signs of aging. You start getting more wrinkles. Your body starts working in different ways, popping, cracking, aching. Onaan, Ursaal, and Thragg all notice and they're like FREAKING OUT HONESTLY. The children don't want to accept that their mother is actually going to be a speck on the timeline of their entire lifespans. Thragg doesn't want to accept that he has to let you go and you're never coming back. They all become obsessed with finding ways to keep you young, keep you alive, fuck it they'll clone you and transfer your consciousness into a new body if they have to! This is comic book world and these are obsessed aliens and they have OPTIONS
- something something "what if Reader isn't a viltrumite hybrid but is still like super-powered or a mutant or whatever and this isn't revealed until you like are fatally injured or even DIE die and suddenly you, pop back up". Cause I feel like this "close call" would drive any yandere literally insane because, what if there's no second chance, what just happened, can you still die, they can never never never never never allow you to get hurt ever ever ever again
Thragg just walks into the kitchen and you have the stove top red hot and you've just got your palm resting on it and you look to him kind of just shocked, all, "look... nothing happens... I just feel some of the warmth" and Thragg just puts his fist through your oven anyways, "you could've gotten hurt" and immediately picking you up and carrying you to some sort of perceived "safer place"
- this is like a specific scenario but like, can you imagine as a mom you like to brush and comb Ursaal's hair and you idly suggest she could always grow it out more and you could help braid it and things, but once it starts getting longer Thragg objects and says it could get grabbed during a fight and orders her to cut it but you step in and say she shouldnt have to, it's HER hair, and you two get into it, and one day Ursaal is brought home by her father and he's all but shaved her head after she had actually grown it out to a decent length. You and Thragg are at odds over how to treat rhe children and Ursaal begins to realize that many of the restrictions her father instills on her are because of a way of life she may not fully agree with, a life filled with violence and bloodshed with no room for love or kindness or creativity. She probably helps you from going over the edge too, honestly. If anything else through this life with Thragg, in your darkest places you may still find yourself thinking you have to keep going to try and help your children
- with others, Thragg is the kind of yandere where he's standing in the same room as you and you're both doing completely different things and he suddenly says, "so I noticed during the meeting that your eyes kept lingering on my mate" and without further warning he's beating up someone on the accusation they were lusting for his wife, no discussion, just fists , and he'll do shit like this a lot to the point people don't feel comfortable being around you and you're just further socially isolated
- I feel like Thragg would have some weird like fondness slash fetish for watching you breastfeed. Like, awww here's his cute little wife with his chubby little babies and you're giving them their nice milk, what a good mom, providing for the babies he put in your belly ❤️ part of me is convinced if you're a viltrumite or hybrid or whatever that you uh. Eventually wind up with a lot of babies. A LOT of babies. Do you think he would want a specific amount or its just vibes. Like you're over 300 years old and you've already got 50 kids with him but he sees you teaching one of your youngest sons how to throw a punch and suddenly he wants another
- all I'm saying is if he ever catches you self harming or attempting to hurt yourself he's gonna have a real extreme reaction. Like he finds you cutting yourself with a broken glass and you're immediately restrained and taken to a hospital, completely stripped, inspected for other wounds, and if there are any and especially a lengthy history of them, you're in such trouble. But I also think it would be extremely difficult to hide this from him since as time goes on you two are constantly having sex or he's inviting himself into your shower to bathe with you. You accidentally bang your arm on a counter or something and get a tiny bruise, this man will know about it and wants a detailed report on where it came from
- even when you guys aren't super familiar with each other and you've "just met" he's already protective and all that. Like you've just been brought into his home and you barely even know him still and he may even act mean and angry to you and then one day he sees you have a large bruise on your arm, "what is this?" ".... it's nothing, Grand Regent" "I asked you a question and you'll answer me: where did this come from" "... I spoke out of turn with one of your advisors and turned to leave without permission, Grand Regent" "And so they grabbed you?" "Yes Grand Regent" "who" "it was my fault, I-" "WHO" and the second you give a name or description he's wordlessly leaving the room and shows up again HOURS later with visible blood on him, "it has been handled. You are not to be harmed or punished without my permission or instruction"
- in some scenario where you leave the kids behind and try to run away, like... he isn't just gonna throw up his hands, "well I already got children out of her, she has served her purpose" and leave you the fuck alone. If anything this man would track you down just to tell you off for having the fucking nerve to disobey and defy him! I can picture an actively captured wife where you are constantly kept on some kind of restraint or have a bracelet or collar or even a LEAD THAT HE HOLDS and you're IMPRISONED rather than "I'm being monitored but otherwise I have my own agency". Thragg will make himself a throne that you can be chained to if he has to. He'll have restraints made that are decorative and complimentary of your features. Imagine he's making some sort of public appearance and while he's speaking he's got an arm around your waist and you're pulled up against him and meanwhile you've got. A bar gag and cannot speak
- really, truly, in a way, you become a symbol, but one of all different kinds. There are Viltrumites who see how their mighty Grand Regent treats his mate and they are viscerally disgusted (Kregg and Lucan comes to mind), like people who really start to question the society they are living in, questioning if it really must be so selfish and devoid of empathy, questioning if they really want to keep living this way and for their children and their children's children to live like this. Then there are others who see the way the Grand Regent controls his mate and see its as a sign of strength and permission to treat their own mates the same.
Mostly, though... the only thing that will take you away from Thragg is death. Until the day one of you dies, you're stuck with him, and there's basically no one around who's stronger than he is, period. You might as well cozy up and get friendly with your new husband, since you're going to be together for a long time and spend lots, and lots, and LOTS of time together ❤️
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bebe-writes-stuff · 4 months
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Tokyo Revengers x Reader (I might just turn this idea into a reverse harem lolol)
Your legs moved on their own just as you spotted the glint of the switchblade Kazutora aimed at Baji's unsuspecting back. Without a second thought, you jumped between them, feeling the dagger penetrate your stomach. Time seemed to stop. Kazutora took a step back, petrified. "Y-Y/n," his voice quivered, while you sensed the metallic taste slowly dripping from your lips.
A smile overtook your blood-stained lips. "Tora... come back to Toman, please. Your place is with us." Those were your last words before Takemichi tumbled with Kazutora after tackling him with full force.
Baji's voice echoed, "Y/N!" as you sensed his firm grip embracing you.
As if an entire war had come to an end, both Toman and Valhalla stood still. Your chest heaved, and each breath was a struggle. Who knew if your next breath would come back out.
Baji's shout made Mikey glance down from his position atop the car wreck. His heart stopped at the sight of the knife sticking out of your abdomen, the blood staining your shirt, even staining Baji's hands as he tried to wrap your wound. But it was no use. The sight of your precious blood made him want to rage. He wanted to kill Kazutora.
Stepping down, making his way methodically, each step filled with malice and bloodlust, Mikey had fallen into his darkness. No one could bring him back to his rational mind now.
"Mikey..." You heard Baji whisper as he watched Mikey walk past them, his eyes never once leaving Kazutora's position on the floor where Takemichi had run into him. Turning to see where Mikey was heading, you were horrified when you saw him executing a forceful and vigorous kick, sending Kazutora flying back.
"No, Mikey... stop," you whispered to yourself as you struggled to get out of Baji's hold.
"Wait, don't move! You're hurt badly!" Despite his stern voice, Baji was shaking.
"Get off me! I have to stop him!" You finally said before pushing Baji, placing both hands on the handle of the switchblade before pulling it out.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" You've never heard Baji yell like this, ever.
You took off; you felt your muscles tighten, more blood gushing out with every step, ignoring the sharp stinging pain extending to your entire body.
"MIKEY!" You shouted, but there was no response. You were the only brave one to approach Mikey in this state — a state of blind rage. Would Mikey even recognize you? Suddenly,
PUNCH.
Your intention was to snap him out of his dark impulses as your fist met his face full force, knocking him a few steps back.
"I told you to stop..." It was the same tone you used with enemy gangs. Cold and dark.
Everyone collectively had the same thought — you were done for. But no one knew the secret you had hidden away from the rest of the world. You and Mikey shared the same curse since you were kids. Being the closest to Mikey, you both had the same haunting impulses. Turning to face you, his eyes were lost in darkness, while yours were lost in light.
"We're not gonna end like this. We're not gonna kill each other." The same harsh tone. Mikey stared at you, then at Kazutora. You rocked before crashing to the floor; you could no longer hold yourself up straight. You felt cold and distant.
"Y/n!" No longer interested in Kazutora, Mikey rushed to your side, helping you sit up. Your eyes seemed to lose their light.
"Y/n..." Tears threatened to pour out of his eyes; he couldn't handle losing anyone anymore, especially not you, not now, not ever.
Everyone heard the police sirens dangerously closing in; frantically, people started running.
"Go..." You muttered. He looked at you shocked.
"Are you crazy? There's no way I'm leaving you here!" He shouted as you felt him start to carry you before you shoved him.
"GO, DAMMIT! WE DON'T HAVE TIME! I'LL BE FINE."
You glanced at Draken and nodded, a shared agreement between the two of you, you could always depend on him for these moments. Draken didn't waste any time, picking up Mikey and running with the rest of the Tokyo Manji Gang.
"KENNY, STOP! NO! Y/N!" Mikey screamed, reaching out for you.
"The ambulance will take her to the hospital; we have to go!" Draken said, tightening his grip immensely on Mikey as he ran as fast as his legs could possibly take him. From the outside, Draken might have seemed heartless in this moment, leaving you for dead. But no one saw the tears streaming down his face non-stop.
The car wreck fell silent; you were lying on the floor. A few steps away from you was Kazutora, crawling to his unconscious body from Mikey's kick. With whatever strength you had left, you tried waking him up.
"Kazutora, wake up. You have to go; the police are coming. C'mon, wake up."
No use. Mikey knocked his lights out. If the police came, Kazutora would get arrested again. No, you couldn't let that happen. Sometimes you even shocked yourself with your inhuman strength, despite the uncontrollable amount of blood you lost. You got up and managed to pick up Kazutora. You scanned the car wreck; where could you hide him until he woke up and the police were gone? You could only think of one place—the cars themselves. You struggled to open the busted-up car door, but when you did, you gently put him down in the backseat. You pulled out your phone and typed away, a message for Kazutora when he wakes up,
Change Kazutora, we are all here by your side, you're not alone
-Toman
You left your phone beside him,
I doubt I have any use for that now. I'm sorry Mikey, but I think I lied.
You returned to your original spot, falling with a hard thud on the ground. Everything felt like it was slowing down for you, each one of your breaths, your heart beat, the world. Everything slowly faded as your eyes slowly shut, your last sight the cops running towards your freezing body.
The hospital echoed with frantic urgency of medical professionals, with doctors and nurses moving quickly. Doctors were around the stretcher, your body laid on as doctors exchanged hasty words and gestures in an attempt to help you. You stirred, your eyelids fluttering as consciousness reluctantly began to claw its way back. The harsh lighting above blurs your vision. Confusion clouded your gaze, and the sensation of being on a moving surface only added to your disorientation, like you were on a moving ride. You couldn't fathom the severity of your injuries. Unaware of the thin line between life and death that you teetered upon, as doctors did their best in an attempt to save your fragile existence.
As you tried to make sense of the chaos around you, a wave of exhaustion swept over, pulling you back into unconsciousness. Your eyelids grow heavy, and the sounds of the hospital faded into a distant murmur. The struggle for awareness was lost, and once again, you succumbed to the darkness, leaving the frantic efforts of the medical team echoing in the background.
As you regained consciousness, for the second time, the sterile hospital environment had given way to a disconcerting darkness. Instead of the beeping machines and frantic medical staff, you found yourself being carried through a dimly lit alley. Confusion gripped you as you tried to make sense of your surroundings, but the lingering effects of your injuries overwhelmed you, and once again, you slipped into unconsciousness.
When you awoke for the third time, you found yourself on a bed, disoriented and groggy. A man sat in front of you, his features obscured by shadows. Before either of you could utter a word, he pulled out a newspaper article, read in big bold letters,
High-school girl succumbs to fatal injuries in the aftermath of a gang altercation...and later dies in the hospital she was transferred to.
Shocked and bewildered, you struggled to comprehend the situation.
"W-what?" you managed to stammer, your voice weak.
The man sighed, revealing a mix of anguish and resentment in his eyes. "I had to find someone who looked like you, stage her death, and put her in your place. You're essentially nothing but a ghost now," he explained, his words sending a shiver down your spine, shock seized you, a chilling realization sinking in.
-- You guys want this to be a series? let me know --
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wh0reforcoriolanussnow · 11 months
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Did You Like Them? || D. Targaryen x oc (Dear Motherhood Series)
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GIF by unknown DIVIDERS by @straywords
summary: A heartfelt conversation between Leyla and her closest handmaiden reveals her feelings towards her first child, Alyssa.
a/n: pls pls pls send in some requests!!! this can be for the dear motherhood series if you like!
Dear Motherhood Series Masterlist
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Leyla quietly moved her feet towards the nursery. The whole of castle were fast asleep and yet she was still awake, except for the few guards around, including the two infront of the nursery. She quietly opened the door and closed it slowly. Daemon was still asleep in their bedchambers.
The young Lady walked closer to the crib at a slow pace where her daughter, Alyssa laid asleep. She crouched down beside her, her eyes studying every feature of her face. Alyssa looked very much Leyla, except for the silver hair that she inherited from Daemon.
With so much intent, Leyla stayed there for the next 10 minutes, Alyssa’s chest falling up and down at a steady rate. The door quietly opened as Alyssane, her closets friend and handmaiden, approaches her. “My Lady, what are you doing up at this hour?” she asked before crouching down beside the babe’s crib.
“I like watching her sleep,” Leyla spoke in a soft voice, admiring her daughter. A smile makes it to Alyssane’s lips, “When my children were babies, it was my favourite time too,” She says as the two make eye contact and chuckle softly.
Visiting Alyssa in the middle of the night was a daily occurrence for Leyla. Of course, Leyla often saw her daughter throughout the day but it felt different watching her at night, all alone. Whenever they were around the castle or outside, the young Hightower would often feel quite awkward holding her own child.
The looks she would be given or the whispers that would go around drove her insane. So she rather enjoy her daughter’s presence alone, without the prying eyes of court. Leyla’s eyes flicker to Alyssane, she hesitates before opening her mouth to ask her question.
“Did you like them?” She felt herself holding a breath, “Straight away?” Alyssane’s eyes snap to Leyla. She noticed her hesitation before she covered it with a small smile. “Well, I was pleased they were healthy. I would’ve killed anyone that could cause them any harm.”
“Like them? I think that comes later, my Lady” Leyla listens intently. “When I look at her,” She starts, her fingers moving away a stray lock of hair fallen on Alyssa’s face, “All I can remember is the pain of giving birth to her. Those horrible nine months I had to endure.” Leyla confessed.
Alyssane held her hand in a comforting manner. “Having a baby is a sacrifice aswell as a blessing,” Alyssane added with a sad smile. Leyla knew that when she found out she was with child, her childhood was being sacrificed. It took her some time to accept the cold truth.
“I’m afraid, Alyssane. Father is asking for more grandchildren and there’s no doubt Daemon wishes for more heirs from me,” Otto had been on Leyla’s back on having children well, ever since she married Daemon. Even more after she had her first, Alyssa.
“Don’t be, my Lady. You are incredibly strong, having a child at ten-and-five? Not many people can do that and still continue with a smile on their faces. These feelings you’re feeling right now? They will blow over and overtime, when you look at Alyssa, you will feel a sense of accomplishment”
Leyla looked back over at peaceful Alyssa, “Thank you Alysanne,” she smiled gratefully at her friend’s comforting words.
~
It was the Hour of the Owl and once again, Leyla slipped out of Daemon’s hold and quietly moved away from the bed and into the corridors. The brunette was only helped guided by the burning torches that lit up the castle, although it was nearly impulse that led her to her daughter’s nursery.
That day had been particularly hard for Leyla. Otto had found out that she had been talking about finding ways to slow down the chances of becoming pregnant. That earned Leyla a harsh slap across her face.
The young Hightower didn’t dare to tell her Lord Husband out of embarrassment. Leyla was slightly surprised to see her daughter eyes wide awake. She quickly moved to her and carefully picked her up as Alyssa cooed making her mother smile.
She opened the curtains to allow light from the moon to seep through the nursery. There, Leyla stood cradling her daughter in her arms as she sung a sweet lullaby. She cherished these moments she shared with her first born, away from the bustling of court.
Leyla was slightly startled when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around her waist. “Husband,” “Wife,” He replied back in a husky voice, his head rested on her shoulder as they both look down at their daughter. “I thought I might find you here, pray do tell, what are you doing here at this hour of the night?” He spoke calmly, leaving a small trail of kisses along her shoulder and neck.
“I could not find sleep Daemon, and neither could your daughter it seemed” She softly chuckled as he joined. “Can I?” Daemon tilted his head to Alyssa as Leyla nodded. She carefully passed the 2 month old babe to her father as he softly patted her back, a soft tune coming out of his mouth in his mother’s tongue.
Leyla thought it would be impossible to fall in love with Daemon even more, well that changed ever since he became a father. He was such a huge softie when it came to Alyssa and she liked that he only reserved this side for her.
In just a few minutes, Alyssa had fallen asleep. Daemon slowly laid her down in her crib as the two stand in each other’s arm admiring the tiny human being they created. “Goodnight, my darling” Leyla leaned down to whisper to her before placing a gentle kiss on the forehead.
Daemon smiled as he watched the whole interaction. He always knew Leyla would be a great mother to his children. The couple quietly walked back to their bedchambers hand in hand with smiles on their faces.
~
taglist
@bellstwd @sesamepancakes @writtingforfun @bunbunbl0gs @mxtokko
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harus-simp · 9 months
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Wearing their clothes (maknae line)
Shen Ricky, Kim Gyuvin, Park Gunwook, Han Yujin
Genre: fluffy fluff
Warning: none
Word count: 1.1 K
Author's note: Here's part 2 hope you enjoy it <3
Hyung line
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How would your amazing boyfriend possibly react when he sees their partner wearing his clothes?
Ricky
♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡
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Another day with ricky another day were you were being spoiled by your boyfriend. He specially loved to invite you to dinner dates, seeing you all dressed up for him made his heart race, you looked like a beautiful doll, and he couldn't believe you were his.
You were coming back from a new restaurant near your house so you went there walking and you were returning like that as well. However, it was now much colder than it was before, so you were fighting against the freezing wind.
Luckily for you, ricky noticed this and offered you his jacket, saying that he is felt hot (he was obviously lying).
As you got home you plopped yourself on the sofa still with the jacket on and without the intention of taking it off at all.
"I see you like my jacket babe"
"Yeah, it's really comfy"
He laughed at your slightly tipsy tone, the champagne you had drank making a little bit of effect.
"I'll get you one so we can match"
You looked at him panicking.
"Noooo, I want yours"
"Why?"he asked smirking curiously
"Cause it smells like youuuu"
That made his smirk disappear completely and be replaced with a shy little smile, his cheeks turning red as well.
The way you literally had his heart and whole being at your mercy was driving him completely crazy. He wrapped his arms around your waist and carried you to your shared room.
"You don't know how much I love you babe"
"Mhmm love you too"you said after kissing his cheek
"Alright, let's get you to bed"
Gyuvin
☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
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After lots of bickering from your tall ass and lazy baby you finally got him to go out with you to the cinema as a movie you had been waiting for had came out recently, and there was no way you weren't going.
So you decided to bring gyuvin with you to watch it together.
You got to the venue were the cinema was located at and now was waiting for him to not be late or else you would kill him because you really wanted to see that film.
You had picked your outfit really blindly without paying that much attention, so you grabbed a hoodie that was laying on your chair.
You recognised it as one of gyuvin's hoodies, actually one of his most used ones. But that wouldn't stop you from using. On the contrary, that impulsed you to wear it even more.
Ten minutes before the movie started you finally watched him running towards you at full speed because he obviously was late.
"I'm so sorry baby I lost track of time, let's get going"
You nodded and grabbed his hand pulling him inside the place.
The movie finished and you got out quite happy with the end of the plot and so did gyu.
But suddenly your boyfriend looked at you with a shocked expression.
"Hey, that's my hoodie, give it back!"
"But I'm your partner gyu, you should give it to me"
"No it's mine, you hoodie stealer"he said tickling playfully your side to make you break
"Nooooo"you started bickering back
But all jokes aside (we know how playful he can be) he actually lived for that sight before him, he felt enchanted by you and wanted to keep this beautiful memory forever.
Gunwook
♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡
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It had been a long and hard week of school and the least you wanted to do at the moment was to go outside. But you had already made the promise to gunwook to have a stroll at the park and you didn't want to make your pookie sad.
So that's were you were right now, resting a bit on a little bench to see families with their children and people with their beloved pets.
"The weather's nice huh?"he said
"I wouldn't talk too early pookie, it can change at any moment"
And just as you predicted the air suddenly became colder making you shiver from its spontaneity, hugging yourself in the process.
"See I told you to watch your words wookie!"you playfully hit him
You kept hugging yourself not expecting gunwook to notice, so it came as a surprise when he suddenly stopped walking and asked you about it.
"Are you cold baby?"
"Oh, yeah a little bit"you responded giggling at his shocked face
"And where's your jacket?"
"I might have left it in class"
At this he instantly took off his own jacket and helped you put it on, folding the sleeves so it didn't cover you entirely.
"Thanks wookie"you said smiling at him
His immediate response was to grab your cheeks and squish them lovingly looking at you with heart eyes.
"Are you always this cute?"
"No, only for you"
That was it, he couldn't stand how cute you were, how everyone could see this side of you and only him.
"I'm tired let's head to your house and cuddle"
Yujin
☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
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On a random and boring day of summer you and yujin were lazily laying on his bed without anything to do other than show each other memes that were on your phones. But nothing that interesting to be honest.
And you were starting to get quite irritated from not doing anything productive in itself, it was such a waste of your time and your holidays.
However, you just got the best idea ever, you'd be trying some clothes from yujin knowing damn well that, despite his soft and delicate looks was a tough and muscular figure.
At last, curiosity got the best of you,so while he was distracted enough you went through his closet in search of something to try on, and as you got back with something good you picked his interest turning all his attention on you.
"What are you doing y/nnie?"
"Got bored so I'm trying your clothes, do I look like you?"you asked posing like you were on a runway show
"Pffff, not at all, you look tiny. You are so small"he said laughing
"Not my problem you are an early developed teen!"you shot back sticking your tongue out.
You knew he was teasing you, of course you knew it. But looking at how red his ears had turned you figured out he thought the opposite of what he actually said.
And you were right, the way he blushed as he saw how his hoodie was draping down to your knees made his mind go crazy.
But what can we say? Young kids in love <3
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Taglist: @zumblrnet
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drowningparty · 2 months
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I have some thoughts re: Kayne / godhood (spoilers for intermezzo)
I don't think Kayne respects any of the other gods. He definitely doesn't respect the King in Yellow, he knocked him over the head w/ an oversized mallet to give him amnesia and stuck him in Arthur's head and reduced the Dreamlands to "a lawless waste" for a laugh. He also destroyed his city for the hell of it. He doesn't fucking care. He's rude to John, ignores him, says 'Arthur' when referring to both of them. I thought I noticed this undercurrent of quiet animosity, but felt vindicated during 40 + Intermezzo b/c he was suddenly soooooo loud! Ignoring & talking over John? Check. Telling him he's not special like Arthur? Check. Saying he'll torture him worse than Arthur just because he can? Check. My theory is it's b/c John's still a god, technically. Like the whole, choosing your own name + path... you'd think would be something Kayne could sympathize with (as much as Kayne can feel sympathy), but...........no. He knows John is easier to manipulate w/ fear (he can send him back to the Dark World w/ a snap of his fingers), and saves his faux sympathy for Arthur.
I think this is b/c he likes humans. Sure, he also likes killing them, but I don't think those impulses are mutually exclusive. Kayne's the most "human" of the gods we've met. He talks like a human, makes pop culture references, looks passingly human, etc. I think he envies them, in a way? They have a freedom I think he lacks as a god, even though they are confined to one timeline. We still don't fully understand how gods work, but from his description alone it sounds like he thinks of them as limited. They have incredible power compared to mortals, they exist outside the piano... but are confined to a single key. Which sounds to me like their path is predetermined and they're not intended to develop free will. Kayne's an anomaly b/c he does, or tries to.
He wants to put humans in an antfarm, perhaps as a demonstration of his free will. That's all Carcosa was, right? An antfarm. He wanted to play godzilla, smash the ants. Arthur's another ant in a different farm, and he watched his entire life play out across several verses to try to figure him out. What makes him unique is he dies in every other verse. Kayne can't figure out what makes this Arthur so special that he survives when all the others don't, but it implies he did something right with his free will, that this version is an "anomaly" like Kayne. He respects that, b/c it means this version of Arthur has done the same thing he has: taken control of their narrative. Even Kayne choosing his own name is an example of that. Becoming Kayne, rejecting the title Nyarlathotep and all the baggage that comes with it, the expectation to be what his father wants, a messenger for the outer gods (although he may still want that, I expect whatever his intentions are re: the Black Stone, they're his, not Azathoth's).
Arthur is usually a mirror for character's to see their humanity reflected, but instead of seeing his humanity (b/c he has none), Kayne looks at Arthur and sees himself. Which... surprised me? He seems so confident in his godhood, I thought he just viewed Arthur as his fave toy or human, like even in the S4 finale I found it hilarious how he kept going: "why can't you all just be more like Arthur???" apropo of.....nothing, but he didn't treat him like someone he identified with, so it caught me off-guard when he compared himself to Arthur, but that's big for a god! and I think it supports my thesis he envies humans for their freedom. Their roles aren't as "established" as a god's. Humans have free will, something he had to kill every other version of himself to gain. Even then, I think absorbing his alts (???) or whatever he did after killing them to become more powerful fucked him up, may have driven him mad if he wasn't already when he started this exercise in defending-himself-from-ever-getting-deleted, like he doesn't sound okay when he's talking to himself.
TLDR: Kayne thinks Arthur's special b/c he lived, when all the other Arthur's in Kayne's Arthur-Killing-Experiment died! (: Kayne can't figure out why, but he likes not knowing why. He likes humanity b/c of their freedom, b/c he's a chaos god who wants as much freedom as possible. And he's aware gods are fallible, they can be deleted, which takes all the romance out of godhood. Kayne's the most powerful god we've met b/c he's taken steps to emulate humanity's free will, the thing that makes Arthur "special," but what makes Arthur "hard to see" is probably his humanity. As much as Kayne likes humanity, I don't think it's something he can truly understand, which is why he enjoys sticking humans full of pins and trying.
I think it's neat Malevolent prizes humanity over godhood. Even gods seem to value humanity over godhood. John wants to become human. Yellow wants acceptance from a human. I think Kayne holds humans in higher esteem than gods. Those who look down on humans or try to 'ascend' and leave behind their humanity, like Larson, are clearly in the wrong. It's not seen as a weakness to be human, and even the parts of humanity that are usually written off as a weakness (our rage, grief, violence, desperation, etc...) are viewed as strengths in Malevolent, and I fucking love that about this show.
Anyway, I'll, uhh, shut up now.
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soullessjack · 6 months
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another offshoot of jack being infantilized is that it’s leeched into the popular mischaracterization of jack as some soft sensitive crybaby who hates violence, hates scary things and is super nice and sweet and cutesy all the time and of course he’s used to accessorize Claire as a big mean lesbian sister who always gets them in trouble, and what makes it so unbearable besides the ableist rooting, is that it’s just canonically utterly wrong. like go back and watch 13x02 & 03. go back and watch 14x06 when they convince Dean to go on a case behind Sam’s back. or look at any time they’re defiant to Cas (and for the love of god do not look at it as “lol sassy baby dean is a bad influence bad dad 😂” or so help me I am throwing multiple rocks at you). like you can say he’s a bitch. you can say he’s a cunt even. it won’t kill you.
in fact, I implore you to, because it is a step away from infantilizing his every action as silly baby behavior and ergo a step in the right direction. look at the entire apocalypse world arc where he decides he has to personally kill Michael when the plan was only ever to escape through the rift. remember the scene where they’re crying in the woods and it got ran with as hashtag poor baby boy whump and nobody noticed that he’d literally almost strangled someone because of their impulsive temper?? or when they made the decision to brutally torture a man by snapping and twisting his skeleton and burning him so intensely his shirt fabric blackened?? and somehow that gets turned into shit like “daddy hold my sippy cup” because for some fucking reason you guys are so intent on making him out to be a child and infantilizing his canon traits to be more palatable to that idea of him.
TLDR please can we actually recognize how bitchy and violent and rebellious jack is. can you guys realize that his entire behavioral pattern of saying hi and waving hello is him masking and repressing because his emotions literally are nuclear charged and he doesn’t want to be a threat. can we please.
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astolfofo · 11 months
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deja vu, Jamis vu
BSD beast au x reader. Based on the end of the beast movie.  AUTHORS NOTE: SO. ITS FINALLY DONE. ITS 4AM I AM ON IPAD TUMBLR AND UHHHH… I tried to edit this. but. TUMBLR WAS BEING AN ASS. and the two hours I spent editing this went down the drain. Mere words could not describe the grief I felt at 3:37 in the morning. I would have screamed if I weren’t so zombieified. Then, I tried to be paitent and edit it another time, but tumblr was like: haha no. so it didn’t save. I swear it’s not my fault if you have a stroke while reading this. I sacrificed my sleep for an entire week to do write this. Please give me some credit for my suffering. /lh
Also keep in mind. I have watched the DA movie and the beast movie a whopping total of 1 time. It’s probably very off from what I was trying to communicate, cause I legit have no clue what goes on in the light novels... spare me the slander. 
Last thing, I tried something new with this one, so there’s weird ahh switches between first person and 2nd person in this. Idk how good it is, lmk if i should never do it again.
Tw: head injury, murder, blood, suicide, yeah I think that’s about it.
word count: 6.8k  
To all the Chuuya enjoyers out there, I’m sorry for being a disappointment.
Tags: @redeemingmygloryintopurgatory
I’m wet.
Im standing outside his door, knocking as it rains outside, without an umbrella, cold, and of course, drenched.
Helplessly, I knock on his door, hoping for a response from him. I know it’s pointless, by now. I should cut him out of my life by now, I should… leave him. He’s not a good person, he’s part of the Port Mafia, for the love of god… I’m scared of him. He could crush me at any moment. Hell, he breaks into my house so frequently, and even though he’s done no harm… he could kill me at any moment. So why am I here? Shouldn’t I be relieved that he hasn’t shown up at my apartment for over a month now? I… just can’t…
Lightening splits the sky in half and the sound of thunder cracks in the air.
Your fist slides down the window pane of the door. It makes a terrible sound, and you wince in pain from the sting of the friction. You should just go home. It was obvious Chuuya wasn’t even home, he never was. And if he wasn’t even home, how would he even answer the door? You regret coming here in the first place, you didn’t even know why you chose to. Was it out of worry? Was it because you had to say something to him? You couldn’t remember by now, it was all on impulse. 
Chuuya had broken into your apartment countless times. Still, no matter how many times you’d snap at him, how many times you’d emptily threaten him, or try to push him off the balcony, he still came back the next day, unphased. You couldn’t get rid of him, no matter how hard you tried. And after many days, you had learned to accept that someone could break into your home at any given moment.
And you had no knowledge of how he knew you, let alone knowledge of how he even got your house key. Or maybe he picked your lock. You couldn’t be sure and you really did not want to know. 
Every day, you’d come back home from work, and Chuuya would be sitting on your couch, drinking your wine (much to your own distaste). You’d usually give him a dirty look, and he’d glare in return but you’d say nothing. You preferred not to talk to him, and Chuuya wouldn’t raise conversations by himself. He always sat in the corner of the room, observing… scrutinizing every move you made. On the rare occasions when you had managed to start a conversation with him, it was always painfully awkward.
You once remember asking him why he was here, what he wanted from you, and his true intentions. Chuuya looked at you in an amused manner and stared out the window. 
“Why I’m doing this? You’ll find out yourself when the time is right.”
By the time you had woken up, he was always gone. As if he was never there in the first place. The only thing he’d leave was the wine glass he’d drink out of, and your clothes you had hauled back from the laundromat messily folded, in your drawer. Occasionally, when it warm out, he’d leave the window open. They were small actions. Meant to be noticed, but not returned.
The splashing of rain intensifies, as you stand on Chuuya’s porch. He’s not home. You can’t stand here forever. You have to get back home before it’s too late.
What a great way to spend my time off work.
But you wanted to try one last thing before you left. Maybe his door was unlocked the entire time. Although you would doubt it, it was worth a try. It was so stupid to do this, all of it was. But your curiosity is getting the best of you, and you desperately wanted answers. Answers only Chuuya could give.
So, you grip the door handle and twist the doorknob. Much to your shock, the mechanics of the door click, and the door opens.
Chuuya had left the door unlocked. He forgot to lock his own door. You take a step up, and stand in the doorway. The rain is still hitting your back, and you groan realizing that you’re dripping water onto the floor. Quickly, you step in and shut the door. You twist the lock, ensuring that no one else would come in.
You sure hope Chuuya wasn’t going to come home tonight. The thought of it made the hair on your neck stand slightly. 
You take off your shoes which are drenched in water and stare in the mirror. You’re soaked to the bone. Your clothes are completely see-through. You’d need to change them. That could wait, though. If the rain stopped, you’d go home as soon as possible.
Okay. Quick in and out it is. I need to find my spare key, and I need to find what happened to him after the explosion in the sky that day. The one that happened on the top of the… port mafia building. You shudder. I wonder what happened. It was so bright that it looked as if the sky exploded for a second. The next thing you know, everything is back to normal… except it isn’t. A dead body is found at the bottom of the building.
Followed by that, I never saw Chuuya again, but many people that were close to me have been avoiding me. When asked why, they avoided my question. There isn’t a strong connection there, but I think… that all of these events are connected somehow. Chuuya never appears again, and the fact he works for the Port Mafia, definetly does not help. 
Additionally, the Armed Dective Agency sent me a letter to be wary of Chuuya. With no additional information. There’s something going on here. Something is wrong. Something terribily wrong.
And I’m scared.
Apprehensively, you take several steps inside the house. You keep getting the feeling that you may get caught. But you don’t hear anything at the door. It’s a painful paranoia.
You inhale and exhale.
I’ll start looking for hints first. I don’t need an answer right away. One hint will be able to give me lots. I’ll start from his room, that’s where people are most likely to hide things.
You walk as quickly as possible across the empty corridor in the house. His house is eerily empty. There isn’t much in it, just a lot of furniture, a shelf of wine, messy papers and a few books placed sparsely across the rooms.
You walk up the stairs, which slightly creaks under your weight. You try your best to ignore any noises and try to stay focused. As you reach the top of the stairs, you see his bedroom, which is the first room at the end of the staircase.
You walk towards the room, you open the door and look around. Chuuya’s room is surprisingly fuller than the rest of the house. There is a dresser, with several items stacked on top of it. It has drawers, which you assume were full. His closet was also filled with clothes, with various hats on the shelf above in his closet.
Chuuya’s bed was neatly made, giving the impression that he had not been home in weeks. Unoccupied, cold, and abandoned. Yet you felt a temptation to lie in it either way. Your eyes dart to the dresser again, and you look at the various items spread out on it. None of these are of much use to you. Besides the gun that seemed unused.
Your hands move to the drawers and you begin to search them. In the first one, there was nothing. Just a bunch of stationery, and papers, some of which had blood on them. You shudder in disgust and move on.
You struggled to pull the second drawer. After a moment, it slides open and you look at the inside contents. You stare at it, wondering if you open it. There is no address on it, and it isn’t sealed. 
You have a bad feeling about this, but your hands move faster than your brain. You pull out the piece of paper and read its contents.
The letter is addressed to you. It doesn’t include much. Just A single sentence that holds an address. 
And then it hits you.
Chuuya had been planning this for a long time. He had purposely left the door unlocked, left his house empty, and left you because he knew you would try to find him one day.
It infuriates you more than you expect. But you can’t stop here. You’ll go to a specific location. 
Just to be sure, you look in the third drawer, you see your spare key, as well as a lock cutter. 
Its dark now. It’s still pouring. You have no choice to stay here for tonight. Begrudgingly, you curse yourself for dragging yourself into this. Still, you were in too deep to back out now. Whatever happens, will happen.
-
You wake up. 
You're lying on Chuuya's bed, in his clothes, begrudgingly. Your own clothes are discarded onto the floor, dried during the time you had been asleep. Still, you don't exactly feel like changing into them. It felt too gross to wear them. 
You shake your head. Now's not the time to be thinking about that. You sit up, and stretch your arms. Then, you walk towards the desk again, and look at the address. You take note of the address, and take your spare key. Before you go, you flip over the paper, ensuring that you didn't miss anything. There's another sentence scribbled on the top of the paper.
I know you're reading this. You want to know why I'm gone, and why I did this. The address that is provided will help you, but it will not give you the answer, nor will I be there. 
…What? 
You read the sentence over and over again. The words sink in, making you feel conflicted. You knew you were getting yourself into a certain kind of danger by doing this, but you didn't expect it to be this risky. Hell, you didn't even know where the man was now, and not to mention… the location…
You look at the location again.
It's on the street where the explosion happened. And you're no fool. If it was on that street, it meant it was that building. There were no other possibilities. You doubt it would be any other one of those tall skyscrapers, anyways. The one where the explosion happened was the only building Chuuya had any affiliations with.
Which was going to be incredibly difficult to get into. Let alone, to the top floor. You'd be dead even trying to set foot into the door. It wasn't worth your life for this. You should forget about it and go back home.
You look through the paper again, hoping there might be something more to help you. Sighing, you came back with nothing. I suppose I really have to go through with this, don't I? There's no turning back. 
-
The walk to the Port Mafia's building was rather short, if you were being completely honest. It was located in the heart of Yokohama, and was one of the tallest buildings there, if that told you anything. 
You stand outside the building, as the apprehension and fear build up inside you. You had never felt as much of a need to run from anything, as much as you did now. The doors, despite their grandeur size, and large glass design, looked uninviting. Almost like doors to a bank vault; the kind of doors that told you, you wouldn't be able to get out, as soon as you stepped in. And from various things people has told you throughout the years, the Port Mafia keeps people it's had come into contact with. It's more powerful beyond belief. 
It doesn't need to control you. You'll be forced into being pliant for them, simply by fear. No one can betray them. Death is almost a guarantee if you do.
And recently, they had also become violent as well. You might as well be walking yourself into a death wish.
But your feet remained rooted into the ground, and part of you remains determined to see this through. So you take a deep breath and walk into the building. 
You try to remain calm as you push through the doors, into the lobby. You pray Hou won't be swatted with bullets as soon as you enter, but much to your own surprise, there's no one in the lobby. It's completely empty.
It doesn't feel right. You wonder if what happened. Well, it's not your business anyways. You couldn't care less. You just needed to find whoever Chuuya's office is and-
"Who are you?"
shit. you curse under your breath. "I-I'm," you turn around to face the person talking g to you. As soon as you do this, the man's eyes widen, and you acknowledge away slightly. "Sorry… um… do you know where Chuuya is?"
You had never felt so idiotic and out of place in your life. You can physically feel your heart pounding inside your chest, as you pray you don't look too suspicious. You can't mess up here. Though the man you are currently talking to isn't holding any firearm. That may just as well mean he has even worse methods to kill you off.
"He's not here."
of course, he isn't. You think to yourself. He wrote that in his own letter, or whatever you call it. 
"He's been arrested." The man looks you directly into your eyes, and as on instinct, you look down, too scared to actually look at him. A few moments pass in silence.
"Can you… perhaps tell me why?"
"After the previous Port Mafia executive committed suicide, Chuuya was forced to lead the Port Mafia. He hated the job greatly, and he eventually…" He stops himself.
"Go on." You mutter.
The man tilts his head and looks at you again. "Are you sure? If you want to see him… it's better just to see for yourself." He stops for a second. 
"No… please tell me. Tell me everything that you possibly can."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Fine then. If you insist."
"Chuuya lost his control over himself. He slowly became more, deranged, if you will, as time went on. After the old executive killed himself, Chuuya had no one left. Or at least, that's what we saw. His orders became more and more irrational, often just resorting to killing everything, and slowly, he eventually broke. He went on a rampage, as you've probably seen, Yokohama is not safe with him around. He almost destroyed Yokohama in its entirety, and it took serveral organizations to stop him. I don't know the exact details after that. He remains locked up underground."
You feel as if you had been doused under cold water. You didn't only have your question answered, but that also explained several other things as well. You try to recollect your thoughts while figuring out what to do next.
"By the way, you look familiar."
"How so?"
"I don't know, to he honest. You look like someone who used to work here. Maybe my mind js tricking me, though. You look too weak to be here."
"Yeah," you force out an awkward laugh, "I could never work here for the life of me."
"Figures."
another awkward pause, as you stare at the man.
"I assume you need Chuuya's location, don't you?"
You nod.
"Here." He hands you a piece of paper, with an address messily scrawled onto it. "Although, I don't recommend going to see him, tell the guards you are a relative of his. Hopefully, it will convince them enough to let you in. Though, if you want, I'm sure you can attempt to knock the guards out. Chuuya's well… very restrained so he won't hurt you."
"Ah… thank you."
"Don't mention it."
You bow and leave.
"Hey wait-" the man calls out, his voice echoing through the empty lobby. He seems hesitant to ask something. You stop and turn around. "Yeah?"
He looks down, and awkwardly avoids eye contact for a second. It's at this moment you realize he's a man with short, white, hair, as well thick bangs that were cut into a slant. He’s rather short, and he’s wearing a long jacket.
He looks… familiar. I wonder why.
“What’s your name?” 
You stare at him for another moment before answering. “It’s Y/N.”
You could have sworn you had seen a face of surprise from him for a second, but it could have been your imagination because the next instant you blink, it’s gone. “I see,” he says slowly. “Be careful then. He’s not the same as what you may remember.”
As… I remember? What….
“Nevermind. Forget I said anything. Just go to the address, and everything will make sense.”
“Hey wait-”
He’s already turned his back and left on you. You’re left with so many more questions than you started off with, and dread creeps up you again. There was a warning tone in his voice, almost as if telling you to do this was a terrible idea. That you were going to be landing yourself in scalding hot water, and you wouldn’t be able to get out. You knew the risks from the start, but…
You quickly unfold the paper, and look for the address. Once again, the address is written in the center of the paper. You carefully look around for any other writing on the paper.
It’s completely white. Blank. Except for one sentence on the bottom: It’s never too late to back out. 
And you stare at it, and think about the several cryptic warnings you received from this man. So… you’re telling me, that after that explosion happened in the sky… a dead body, the previous executive was found. Then shortly after that, Chuuya became the executive of the Mafia. He hated it. But he had no choice and was left alone to do it. Eventually, he lost his sanity and mind and the Mafia… I guess? Because very corrupt, violent, and unsafe. It took many people to stop him, and how he was arrested in an underground cell. At this address.
It’s clear he’s cutting something out. He said to be careful. Of course, if Chuuya has lost his mind, I need to do that. But he empathized that I should be wary of him. Also, he said I looked familiar, and he also looks familiar to me. He mentioned something about… me remembering? Have I known Chuuya for longer? 
But he also said that only Chuuya has the answers to all my questions. So that means in other words, he knows what happened during the explosion, he knows that Chuuya has been breaking into my apartment and he knows more about my entire predicament now, than I do.
Just… who exactly is he? How and why?
You cut yourself off from those thoughts. 
Ugh. this is ending up being so much more complicated than it was supposed to be. You thought in bitterness. So basically, I’ll go to the address, and get the answers to my questions. Sounds simple enough. There’s no need to overthink this. Maybe i’m just being paranoid. What’s the worst that could happen?
Well, a lot. But I’ll just ignore that for now.
You turn around and walk towards the door again. To be honest, you don’t want to know what might happen once you see him. You were already nervous from the implications the man had told you moments ago, and you were coming to realize there were some things that you noticed when you were in Chuuya’s house. Things that you maybe weren’t supposed to know about or see.
In the bottom of the drawer… there were documents. Documentation of everything that happened on the day of the explosion. A bright light illumined the sky, followed by the dead body found; the previous port mafia’s executive; Dazai Osamu. The two closest people to the explosion were a member of the port mafia, Atsushi Nakajima, and a member in the training of the Armed Detective Agency, Ryounouske Akuwatagawa. They are believed to be the cause of the explosion.
No one knows the exact events inside the Port Mafia on that day, except for the individuals involved in the actions that happened. According to the Armed Detective Agency, Akuwtagawa had barged into the Port Mafia to challenge the Port Mafia Executive. He accordingly, fought many individuals in the Port Mafia, a body count is yet to be determined. Data from thereon forth is unknown until the individuals reach the top of the building, where the most notorious event stated above occurred.
Additionally, after thorough examination of the body of the previous Port Mafia Excuetive, it can be concluded that he had committed suicide by jumping off the building. 
The document ends there, and the paper is ripped in half.
-
It felt like every meter you travelled towards that location was walking towards a terrible, yet inevitable fate. The drive there, dragged on and on as if mocking you for your choices. You find yourself counting down the seconds until you can arrive at the location given.
Oh, how you wished you had stayed at home instead of seeking him out. If only your morbid curiosity hadn’t gotten the best of you.
You’ve lost track of the time you’ve spent on the train, only waiting for the loudspeaker to announce your stop. The location you figure you were given led you to a rather remote area, likely in the outskirts of Yokohama. If not further. The man had told you he was locked underground, completely isolated from everything.
You found that part the most unsettling. If they needed that many security measures to keep him in place, it was likely he was completely gone. Gone beyond saving. If he had succumbed that much to his own grief and madness, it would be a question of whether he would still remember you or not. 
You look out the window again, enjoying your last moments of peace.
This is the eerie calm before the storm, isn’t it?
Moments after you think that, the train halts to a stop at the last station in Yokohama, and you get off. Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, and you’re not sure if you can stop it.
You try your best to remain calm. Force yourself to keep going. He’s special to you. You can’t lose him, even if you hate him. You need him. He’s the only one who still cares. 
And above all, he’s the only one who remembers you at all.
And so, you go. You take all the correct turns. You try to walk as quickly as you could, to arrive at the destination. You keep going, and going and going until…
You’re here.
It’s one of the better buildings on the outskirts of the city, yet… it looks incredibly unsettling. It’s a mundane building, one made from standard concrete, and glass. Yet. As you stand so close, you see cracks in the building. The door is partially cracked as well. 
Well, I’m here already. Whatever happens, happens. I may die in there, still, before I die, I have to know the answer. The answer… why can’t I remember? Chuuya. I want him to tell me, what he did to me. Why he came to my apartment every day. Why he’s… he’s…..
Oh. My hands are shaking. Surely I cannot be this terrified can I? I will do this even if it kills me.
You pull the door open and enter the building. The piece of paper told you that it was on the lowest floor. Your footsteps echo in the empty building, and it feels creepy no one is here.
Huh. Gives some Deja Vu, doesn’t it?
You proceed towards the elevator at the end of the hall, and press the down button. Almost instantly, the elevator makes a “ding” noise, and the doors open. You quickly step in and look for the lowest button. With a deep breath, you push the button, and the door closes.
You stare at your face in the mirror. You look terrible. Pale and your hair is completely dishevelled and a mess. If you didn’t know any better, you’d look like you were sick. You had been extremely anxious about this for an entire day, after all.
The elevator doors once again slide open. 
Here goes nothing. You sigh. I’d better hear you talking today, Chuuya. You have a lot to tell me. And you’d better tell me it all.
You step outside the elevator. There’s nothing. Absolutely nothing, and no one here. The halls are empty, and the strong scent of stale air, combined with dust fills your nostrils. You feel like coughing for a second, but you hold yourself back. You didn’t want to make any noise to give away your presence. You take another step.
Despite what the man said, it was clear that there was no one else there. No prison guards, no other cells inside. It was clearly a floor made, simply to detain one individual in particular. Isolated, and secure enough that they’d never be able to escape. Deep enough underground that they’d never even know where they were.
Your footsteps tap loudly against the concrete and echo everywhere around. As you walk down the hall, the lightbulbs behind you light up. The man had told you it was in the deepest part of the prison. However, what he didn’t account for, was that you had no idea how this floor was organized. 
Not to mention it was starting to get creepy really quickly. Although there should be nothing else in here, you were starting to get the sense that there was something dangerous that might lurk in the air. You tell yourself it’s probably just the dark and your own fatigue and you were imagining things.
The emptiness of the entire building creeps you out. It’s eerie. It feels like you were lead into the wrong location, and you were walking into a dead end. It almost felt almost like a trap that you had been lured into. And every second, the floor grew significantly more eerie. The lack of any presence and the darkness despite the very few lightbulbs attached to the ceiling enhanced that. 
I should be getting close now… right?
You were. You could see a light at the end of this hallway, which was illuminated with an orange light. It must have been where Chuuya’s cell was. There was no other place as illuminated as this, and there was no reason for it to be.
You had gotten this far. There was no reason you should be stopping now. Should you? The answer… you had always looked for, you could get it now.
Chuuya always hid something from me. He has never answered once, one of my questions. He’s never told me why he comes to my house every day, he never told me once why he was gone. For as long as I remember, I’ve been coming back from my job, and seeing him there. But one day, he disappeared. No reason why, no reason of how. He just did.
But apart from my job, there’s another piece missing to this puzzle. There’s something else that I’ve always wanted to ask him besides why he’s gone missing, and the explosion which I already had the answer to. He knows me, better than I know myself.
What was I before all of this happened?
I know there’s something before all of this. It just doesn’t add up. The man I saw in the mafia looked familiar. The building itself was in a place that I had felt I had been in at some time before. There’s deja vu there.
But when I first walked into the apartment, the first day before I saw Chuuya, I had jamais vu. A familiar place, that I didn’t know. And consequently, I couldn’t remember much before that. So what-
“I know you’re there, (Y/N). You’ve been standing there for quite some time.”
Shit.
Your thoughts are cut off by that voice you instantly knew. Chuuya was indeed, there. But his voice didn’t sound the same as you remember. There wasn’t any of the snarkiness, or egotistical attitude in his voice anymore. Instead, his voice was laced with aggression, and a malice that made you hesitant to even come forward.
You open your jaw to speak, but almost if Chuuya knew, he spoke before you. “I know what you’re thinking. You want to know why I left you, don’t you? I assume that someone has already told you about what happened on the day I stopped seeing you, and I’m sure you know all about the aftermath of that.”
You feel like you are doused in cold water. How did he know? Did he plan all of this. You want to open your mouth and tell him to slow down, but he continues, anyways.
“And you’ve been having deja vu for several days, too. You feel like you know the Port Mafia building, you feel like you recognize everything you saw, including my home.” Silence, as he pauses for a second. “So why don’t you… come and face me, and I’ll tell you what actually happened?”
“Chuuya-”
You hear no response. You sigh and walk towards his cell. You’re not ready to hear this, and you’re not sure you can face him.
He’s different. He’s not the same anymore. He sounds more violent, his composture is much less controlled than it was before. What…what happened to him?
And then you approach his cell. He’s got cuts everywhere, specifically the gash on his face. You instantly feel the need to run away, to get this image out of your mind. He was thin, his face was significantly more gaunt than it had been the last time you had seen him. And the most unsettling thing was how he was kept. Both arms were harshly chained to the ceiling and the wall. The chains were wrapped around his arms several times (you would assume most likely to stop him from breaking free), and they cut deeply into his arm. Then his body was also tightly bound to a chair, and his legs were bound to the chair’s legs. His body you noticed, was bound so tightly to the chair, you wonder how he still managed to breathe. Still, nothing would be as unnerving as to look at as his eyes. They were not dull per say, but they were empty. Not in the hopeless kind of way, but in the tormented sense that he had been tortured so badly that it would be unlikely he ever saw the light of day again.
Truly, he was a lost cause. You could only describe him as tortured and traumatized, as you couldn’t glance at him a second time.
“Hey. You done oogling yet?” His voice came out as almost an aggressive snarl, and you instantly look away. “Look at me.” You do your best to look at him, while trying to avoid looking at any part of his face in particular. You didn’t want to see it. Truly, you don’t want to look at him in any way whatsoever. So you settle on looking at a corner of his hair. The only thing that was still familiar to you.
“I said look at me. In the eyes.”
You don’t want to.
Chuuya sighs. “I know I probably look terrible right now, but please. Just do it. For the sake of me. Just look me in the eyes. It’ll probably be the last time I see someone for a long time.” He draws that last sentence out for longer than you expect, and you start to feel uneasy again, but you try to ignore that and ask him the question. The question you had been dying to ask for an undefined amount of time.
It’s a second before you can really bring yourself to ask it. “Chuuya. Where are my memories?” your mouth tightens… “Who am I? Why did you… do this?” You take a deep breath, to stop yourself. “Just tell me. Please.”
There’s another stretched-out pause before Chuuya responds again. “I knocked you out.”
“You… you what? N-no… you’re kidding right?” Your voice wavers slightly, before seeing Chuuya’s face again. He’s dead serious. “Why would you do this?”
“You were in danger. I couldn’t help it, alright?” He yelled, and you flinch. He takes a deep breath in again, slightly more calm, and continues. “Let me explain.”
“You were part of the Port Mafia, (Y/N). In fact, you, me, and Dazai used to be assigned to the same team all the time. Of course, it was always despicable working with Dazai. He never told us about anything, instead only telling us what to do, while he schemed about whatever he damn chose.”
“You can’t be serious…”
He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Do you think I’m joking right now? That I’m making a story and pulling it out of thin air for fun? You wanted answers. I’m giving them to you right now.”
“Right. Sorry.”
Chuuya ignores you and goes on. “Out of the three of us, you were always the weakest one, without a strong ability, nor any supportive abilities, however, we always had to drag you along anyways. To every mission gaven to us. Dazai would always make a plan, and we’d have to follow through. And if any of us ever messed up, we’d always get into trouble.”
“I bet you wanted to know how you got that bruise on your arm, that’s never healed, huh? Well, it’s cause you messed up one of the missions, and one of the higher-ups broke your arm. It never completely healed, and it was a warning that you should never mess up again.”
You look at your arm, where the ugly purple bruise marred your skin. It had never healed, and you couldn’t do anything heavy with it. Although it made a lot more sense than the reasoning you were told, you found this all too unreal. There was no way you were a mafia member. You were always weak. There would have been no reason for you to join. But even past the static buzzing in your brain, you could make out everything he said feeling familiar. As if your memories were just behind a wall you couldn’t break through.
“Still, I wasn’t able to do anything at the time, and Dazai didn’t care too much for you. The damned bastard treated everything and everyone like a chess piece, and played them as he wished. You were constantly treated as the runt of the three of us, and often used as the punching bag when missions weren’t successful. But, over time, you managed to become more ‘competent’ and not ‘drag us back’.”
“Of course, that all was, until the Dragon Head incident. All you need to know was that it was a bloody fight, and most of us were sent to deal with it.”
“As always, we were sent to deal with the mess. Dazai and I were obviously vanguards during the entire ordeal, and you were backup. When we had found the person behind it all, I used my own ability to kill him. We had won, but just barely.”
“You had managed to find the location of the man first, but you didn’t notify us. This person later told us that you actually refused to tell us. Ultimately, you botched Dazai’s plan, and almost destroyed an entire city, because you didn’t follow his instructions. Of course, Dazai was disappointed, even if he didn’t say anything. He essentially dismissed you, and planned to go back, and remove you from the Port Mafia. But, I didn’t want that.”
“So after a very long fight with Dazai, I managed to make a compromise with him. You would not be killed for betraying the Port Mafia, however, you wouldn’t be allowed to go back. But if I told you this, you would have rather accepted death, since the Port Mafia is the only thing you have ever known. You couldn’t go into the real world since you have no identity there.”
“So later that night, while you had looked like you were at least, partially asleep. I had no choice… but to give you severe head trauma, which would make you lose all your memories.”
There’s an unspoken silence between the two of you. You had always been told that your head was fragile. When you tried to think about your childhood or teenage years, your head would fill with static and it would hurt. Never had you ever expected it to be… this…
“You must be shocked. You probably think I’m not being serious, or that I’m joking. Well, I’m not done yet.”
“You were in a coma for years after that. For about two or three years, if I remember correctly. I had to make sure that you wouldn’t remember anything, so I bashed your head, pretty hard against the concrete. I brought you to the hospital after that, and told them that you had been injured badly, because you had attempted suicide. A balatant lie, but I couldn’t tell the doctors any more than that, otherwise I would have been detained.”
“For several years, you stayed in the hospital, completely unconscious. I’d visit you everyday, and see if you would wake up. At one point I had considered just giving up. But eventually, you did wake up. But, you didn’t have an identity in the real world, let alone education, or anything that would let you survive. When you were discharged, I paid a company to forge you a fake identity, which is what you live by now.”
“I’ve watched over you for so long, (Y/N). You once asked me what you needed to be protected from. I didn’t answer that question because I didn’t think it was the right time to let you know the truth. Alas, you’ve come searching for the truth yourself. The Port Mafia was after you for a long time. I had to constantly monitor you, you were constantly on my mind every day. And even when you were discharged from the hospital, I still had to watch over you while you slept. They wanted to kill you. I didn’t want you dead, in fact how could I?” Chuuya laughs in bitterness. “I loved you for a long time. I did all of this to make sure I’d be able to see you happy, for once. And you were. You moved into society rather nicely. You were simply not meant to be part of the Mafia, despite the potential in your ability.”
“You have the gun I left on my desk, didn’t you? You knew you had to take it because you might have been in danger.”
“Chuuya… stop.” You’re still in shock, but you know you’ll never properly remember any of your memories now. You can only trust him. Whatever he says, you have to believe. He’s not lying. He never was lying.
“That was Dazai’s gun. The gun he left before he killed himself.”
“No… please. Stop. Chuuya. Don’t do this please…”
He chuckles. “I have no merit in my future, I am simply left to rot and die here. You wouldn’t understand, (Y/N). I spent so much time in my life for you, that it would have been simpler to just kill you. But I can’t do that.”
“But in a life where you don’t return any of that to me isn’t worth living either…”
“CHUUYA,” you scream. “Stop this. Don’t…”
“So shoot me please. I know you’re dying to do it. You brought the gun with you, you wanted to kill me. I know you do. Why? You’ve reached into your pockets serveral times while I was telling your past. My life is hopeless, completely doomed. I’ve lost everything I once had, except for you. And I can’t even see you now.”
“So kill me. Put me out of my own misery.”
He smiles, in a twisted sort of way, expecting you to shoot.
“You won’t regret it.”
And it’s true. You were planning on killing him, but you don’t want to now. But if what he said was true, you were also ruthless as he was. You had to make a choice, quickly.
Your hands move faster than your mind, and you can’t stop yourself.
You shoot once. Once at his chest.
You can’t bear to see what you did.
But you also can’t see control what you were going to do next. You hear another gunshot being fired, and you weren’t if it was from yourself, or maybe someone else in the floor.
Your vision stops and you feel yourself falling to the ground.
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@thejurassicparty
💢👊👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 (Angry symbol, an oncoming fist, and two men kissing with a heart)
Lan Wangji had always been a very calm man. Self control and discipline had been instilled within him like second nature, he had been taught when and how to hold his tongue and restrain his reactions no matter how strong his emotions and impulses.
The fact that he punched that ridiculous man right in the face in the middle of the market was, in fact, very much a restrained reaction. If it had not been, the man would have ceased to exist before he realized what was happening.
A few people gathered round following the event, leaving quite a wide berth to avoid any fallout in case the fight continued... and, of course, to watch. It wasn't every day that they got to see the respectable Hanguang-Jun send someone tumbling down into a stall of watermelons with just one hit - of course everybody wanted a first row seat to the show.
Hanguang-Jun appeared entirely unbothered by the sudden exertion of force, gingerly taking out a decorated handkerchief from one of his sleeves and wiping his knuckles with the same gusto one would do after killing a particularly messy insect.
"I will not be so merciful next time." He said, voice level, though the disgust in it was nearly palpable. "Keep your mouth shut and your hateful opinions to yourself next time."
"Or what?!" the man shouted, finally managing to stand up on shaking legs, a hand wiping at his bloody nose. "You'll kill me?"
Lan Wangji's fingers gripped Bichen loosely. "Yes."
"What a joke! The Lan sect is being corrupted by that horrible Yi..." but his eyes caught onto Lan Wangji's firmer grip on the hilt of his sword and the murder intent that emanated off him.
His bravado seemed to break a little at that, but he continued talking. "Are you all seeing this? He's threatening my life after violently assaulting me! Your sect leader will hear from me!"
Lan Wangji appeared entirely unaffected, in fact suppressing a derisive smile. "Brother is in town. I could arrange that you meet him and tell him what you said about our sect."
The man sputtered, face turning red in both anger and embarrassment. "Does that justify you punching me?! Whatever happened with the Lan sect rules?!"
"Rule 23. Deliver punishment swiftly where necessary."
"Even through violence?! Ridiculous!"
"Violence is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses. This is not the Cloud Recesses. If it had been, you would not have been here."
The veiled insult seemed to have enraged the man even more, but before he could open his mouth to speak any more, he found his lips sealed.
"Consider this a kindness of the Lan sect." a new voice piped in, and everybody was floored to see Zewu-Jun show up, his signature smile colder than usual. "If I let you speak any more, you would be dead. I do not want to give young sect leader Jin any trouble handling business with your failing sect."
And in the midst of everything, Wei Wuxian finally emerged from one of the stores, carrying a hefty bag of items and a wide smile on his face. "Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan, come on in, they have flavored lu... Zewu-Jun? What's going on?"
Lan Xichen sighed, deeply. "An incident."
"It has been dealt with." Lan Wangji responded, a soft look in his eyes at the sight of his husband. Zewu-Jun was quick to reassure everybody that nothing more would be happening and to move on with their day, joining them himself as the gaggle of Lan disciples and juniors caught up to him on the way to the discussion conference.
Wei Wuxian took the opportunity to leave a little kiss on his husband's lips and hand him the heavy bag of items. "You got into trouble for me again?"
"Yes, I did. That's what husbands do." And Lan Wangji pulled Wei Wuxian into a deeper kiss right in the middle of the street, delighted in the knowledge that people wouldn't dare look for too long after his earlier display.
He'd have no problem throwing punches with everyone if it meant defending his beloved. After all, he had more than enough of being a bystander to such things - and he would stand up for Wei Ying no matter what, even if he had been 13 years too late.
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Frontiers of Pandora made me realize how much I hate Jake S*lly
So I watched a No-Commentary lets play of Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora and have a lot of thoughts.
Disclaimer #1: I am a WOC, but I am not indigenous. I absolutely encourage indigenous peoples to add onto this post and share their thoughts.
Disclaimer #2: There is going to be an abundance of Jake S*lly hate in this post. I just ask that if you are a fan of Jake, and still choose to read my post, that you do so in good faith and out of genuine curiosity. Please don't read my post with the sole intent to shoot it down.
Overarching Problems with the Avatar Franchise
Okay so, time to actually get into the post.
To start off, the entire Avatar franchise has problems. Regardless if it's the video games, comics, movies, or what have you. Ableist tropes, racist tropes, misogynistic tropes, my god there are a bunch. These problems with the franchise have been talked about for literal decades now though, so I'll link a few of their pieces here.
Native Media Theory's critique video
"Avatar: The Way of Water" and the Question of Indigenous Representation
Native News Online's article about JaCam's horribly ignorant comment and ATWOW
Avatar: The Way of Water or How NOT to Make Indigenous Futurism Movies
Old, New, Borrowed and Blue: Compulsory Able-bodiedness and Whiteness in Avatar
Avatar's Approach to Ableism Misses the Mark
There are hundreds of other sources from all areas of the internet. It would be impossible for me to list them all. Fortunately, they're very easy to find if you want to know more.
What I want to talk about is the game Frontiers of Pandora that just released in December 2023, and how it changed my perspective on the movies, at least the first movie since I have yet to watch the second.
Frontiers of Pandora
(I will try my best to be as spoiler-free as possible, but there will be segments where I'll dive into them. I will put a warning ahead of time.)
Just so we're all on the same page, I'll briefly summarize FOP's premise.
Spoiler-Free Summary
As an infant, the playable character, an unnamed Na'vi, was taken by a project group of the RDA known as "TAP", The Ambassador Program. You are not alone, a significant number of Na'vi children, all from the newly introduced Sarentu Clan, were taken as well. It's made clear in the opening that TAP's initial goal was to raise Na'vi children and teach them human culture to "bridge the gap" between their two peoples. And then once ready, they would be sent back out into Pandora to serve as "ambassadors" for Na'vi-Human relations. You were to be mainly taught by Alma Cortez, TAP's Co-founder and a skilled xenobiologist, who notably spends more time in her Avatar body than in her original one.
As time passed and relations between the Na'vi and the RDA became more hostile, the taken Sarentu children were taught to use human weapons. Heavily implied to be trained to fight against other Na'vi to defend RDA resources, instead of the original intention to serve as "peaceful ambassadors".
The player's journey starts when the character is a teenager, around 16 to 18 years old. The final battle in the first movie causes a massive uproar to all RDA facilities, including TAP's. The administrator and founder, John Mercer, ordered the entire program and building to be abandoned. Part of that abandonment is ordering the execution of the playable character and all of the other Sarentu children.
Your character, and some of the others, are saved by Alma, who killed the soldiers that were assigned to kill you. Then, seemingly acting on impulse with no solid plans for your survival, put you and the others into a cryo-induced coma. With the plan that you would all be woken up when it was safe.
There is a misunderstanding and long story short, the Sarentu children do not get woken up until 16 years later. Your revival is when the game is officially put into the player's hands.
Just from the premise, it's clear the plot is based off the real life horror of Native American Boarding Schools. (I'm really curious how Indigenous viewers feel about this portrayal. I've tried to look up perspectives, but have had difficulty finding any. Probably because the game is so new.)
The Sarentu were taken as children, physically and psychologically abused whenever they interacted with Na'vi culture in any way, were told daily that the program was "for their own good", and were generally viewed as "property" owned by TAP and John Mercer.
We learn later in the game that in the early days of the program, the children suffered conditions so grotesque that the oldest of them admit to repressing the full events of what happened to stay sane. What we were already told about their upbringing is repulsive to hear, so to find out that there was more that was so traumatic and horrible, the characters can't even bring themselves to remember it let alone talk about it...
Basically, your character's backstory is fucked up. Very much so.
After experiencing all that, once your character wakes up from cryo sleep and rushes to the outdoors for the first time in approximately 32+ years, you get to the heart of the story.
Frontiers of Pandora is about the playable character reclaiming and rediscovering a culture that's been stripped from them. The character has the help of a predominantly human resistance group (known creatively as "The Resistance"), but the majority of the game is the character meeting and getting to know various Na'vi clans. From the Aranahe in Kinglor Forest, to the Zeswa in the Upper Plains, to the Kame'tire in the Clouded Forest.
And throughout the world, there are remnants of your character's lost people. There are Sarentu artifacts scattered all over the map where the character can regain lost knowledge from their Clan's way of life.
Fortunately, there are still Na'vi from the other three clans that have personally met the Sarentu before you. And they are EXTREMELY eager to tell you of their experiences with your people and how they used to interact with each other. There's even a character who is heavily implied to have known the playable character's mother, a fact we only learn after he playfully requests we gather ingredients and make a unique dish, not knowing until after we've tried it, that we were just taught how to make a meal our mother used to. A quest you don't expect to evoke tears until you're already crying.
You have the ability to use human weapons and wear human clothing if you wish, but that is optional. You can, and many players have, opt for a "full Na'vi playthrough" where you only use Na'vi weapons and dress in Na'vi attire (You can even dress in Sarentu-specific attire for full immersion!) There are no choices, so you can't choose to not interact with the Resistance, but you can spend as little time as possible with other humans, only needing to return for quick updates before going back out into Pandora with other Na'vi.
I say all this to say, the game is heavily about the Na'vi and reclaiming one's culture after it's been attempted to be destroyed. Watching this journey play out made me realize the potential Avatar has, and helped me better understand my biggest gripe with the movies. It's Jake Sully.
The Whitest Savior to Ever Whitely Save
After finishing the FOP playthrough, I decided to rewatch the first movie to see if I'd feel differently about it. And boy did I!
I could talk all day about how the tiniest similarities got to me. I laughed watching the ferocious pack of viperwolves, after seeing players frantically try to outrun them in Kinglor Forest. The harrowing climb up the ikran rookery, and thinking about the Sarentu's own sinking self esteem as they struggle to prove themselves to their eventual bonded. Even the floating mountains as the characters in the movie weave through them and Trudy uses them for cover, connecting it to all the times I've seen FOP players and ikrans rest on them or gather resources from their peaks.
The comparisons are endless.
But the biggest contrast and glaring stain is Jake's entire character.
Like Jake, the Sarentu (the playable character) has to learn how to maneuver a world they are not used to. Unlike Jake, it's clear the protagonist actually develops an appreciation and love for the world around them.
RELATIONSHIPS TO OTHER NA'VI
Even overlooking the WS trope for a minute (which we will touch on!), it comes across as though Jake only begins to side with the Omatikaya after enjoying the adrenaline rush of their way of life, and falling in love with Neytiri. But we never see Jake actually bonding with any other Na'vi besides her in the first movie.
He grows into calling them "brother" and "sister", and has a few throwaway lines of knowing of other Na'vi, but we don't actually see him develop any positive relationships with anyone other than Neytiri (who is very much given the Love Interest Angle where majority of her scenes are about Jake or have Jake in them. Even during her father's death scene, Jake made an appearance!!! Go away for a millisecond I am begging!) Even his supposed arc with Tsu'tey is rushed as all hell, and only happens because Jake ~miraculously~ becomes Toruk Makto. A feat that makes the Omatikaya gain respect for him en masse, despite them just calling for his death after learning he played a major role in the destruction of their Hometree.
In comparison, the Sarentu not only gets to know the culture, customs, and day-to-day lives of the Na'vi they meet, they also get to befriend them.
Now since I've watched a let's play, I haven't seen all that the game offers. But I have seen a lot of side activities in the Kinglor Forest.
Your character bonds with the other Sarentu children and with members of other massacred clans. They also create relationships with members of large clans: from as monumental of events as helping expose a corrupt olo'eyktan and bringing a shamed tsahik back to power, to as intimate as attending as funeral / "letting go" ceremony for a deceased ikran, to as simple as helping restore a weaver's low self esteem. Your character not only helps stop the RDA, but they also truly develop connections with other Na'vi. More than one!
Obviously, there can't be a full exploration of Jake simply making friends in a film because there just isn't enough time. But we could've seen him bonding with at least a few other Na'vi besides his love interest. For the franchise and sequel to be so Na'vi-focused, it wouldn't have hurt the first movie to detract some screentime from RDA characters, and give it to more Na'vi who we could've continued on with.
RELATIONSHIP TO THE WORLD AND TO EYWA
Another gripe I have with Jake's character is that he seems to hardly appreciate Pandora's wildlife or the Na'vi's connection to Eywa.
During Iknimaya, once he creates the bond, he refers to the ikran as "mine", despite the numerous times Neytiri has said no creature on Pandora can "belong" to anyone. It is a mutual bond based on respect, not taming a pet. Despite this lesson, Jake clearly still viewed it as such. We're not even told if the ikran Jake bonded with has a name, not in the film anyway. I had to find out through google that he named it, simply, "Bob".
And in the finale when connecting to Eywa, Jake asks for her help in the final battle. But while doing so, he's still uncertain if she's even "real" or "actually listening". Even now, he continues to doubt Na'vi beliefs (despite it literally being Grace's dying words!!)
In comparison, the Sarentu's journey up the ikran rookery to form a bond... it's emotional to say the least.
There is a desperation in your character's voice. Not of impatience, but of declining self esteem. A worry that you won't be chosen because you will not be deemed worthy. Because you are not Na'vi enough due to your upbringing. As you go up, an Aranahe character that guides you, Eetu, tells you of his experience and how calming it was. And that makes the character more nervous because of how stressful it's been for them so far.
But then you finally get close enough to approach. The ikran finally allows you to, and you meet eyes and...
I do not know how they managed to capture care and affection so perfectly but they did. The journey up the rookery is intense and nerve wracking. But once you get chosen, you the player IMMEDIATELY knows (just like Eetu said) because the ikran looks at you as though she's already prepared to give her life for yours. Many players have expressed that this segment legitimately made them cry because of how palpable the bond is.
And then Eetu says that she has placed full trust in you. And you know he's right because you can feel it. You can see it. But then he says now it's time for you to place full trust in her, and he "helps" you accomplish this by pushing you off the cliff!!!!! And it's scary! And terrifying! And you call out for her to help and you're still falling!! But then she catches you, and the next thing you know you're experiencing probably one of the most heartwarming scenes of the entire game.
The Sarentu is not yelling commands such as "shut up and fly straight". It is truly a psychological bond. You are not an owner and she is not a vehicle. You are not a tamer and she is not a mindless beast. You fly together as one. You are one.
Connecting to Eywa is also an emotional experience. Whenever the Sarentu connects to the Tarsyu (their clan's method), they're able to communicate with their ancestors, specifically the founder of the Sarentu, Entu. Sometimes in depth and sometimes only vaguely. But whenever a connection is made, the Sarentu walks away with something gained.
In comparison, it's debatable if Jake experiences anything at all when he connects to the Omatikaya's Tree of Souls. I suppose this can be left up to lore though. Maybe he just doesn't feel anything because he doesn't have Na'vi ancestors? Maybe it's because his kuru is artificially made and not naturally born? I don't know! The possibilities of why are endless, and probably answered somewhere in bonus Avatar content.
What my issue is, is that Jake doesn't seem to care whether he has a connection to Eywa or not, despite Eywa being a pretty significant part of Na'vi culture overall. If he's able to feel something when connecting to her, he has no reaction. And if he isn't able to feel anything, he still has no reaction over missing out on something significant to their way of life.
When the Sarentu children connect to Eywa for the VERY first time in 32 years, there is an air of both anxiety and excitement. One of them even voices that they're worried Eywa and their ancestors won't accept them for not being raised like "true Na'vi" (as you can see, this is a reoccuring theme in the game. Who can be referred to as "true Na'vi"). After the connection is made, there are mixed reactions. But at least there are reactions. Jake has none.
(Please note again: I am only referring to the 2009 movie in this post because that was everyone's first intro into Avatar. I am not referring to any comics or books or etc. that may dive deeper into these topics. If they do, great! That doesn't negate how lackluster the movie is. As the original source material, it should be able to stand on its own, and it clearly can't.)
"The Savior The Na'vi Needed" I Guess
I've already linked articles above about how inappropriate it is that a white actor + character "is the only one" that can help these "poor, defenseless, and naive" Indigenous / coded characters of color "defeat" colonization. Many many many people have have touched on this problematic storyline. It's very disturbing.
So speaking not from a Doylist perspective, but from a Watsonian one, Human Marine Jake is still an immensely odd choice to be Eywa's + the Omatikaya's Chosen One.
It's implied Eywa "chose" Jake because he'd be able to save Pandora. But the Omatikaya were literally going to DIE had Eywa not called on all of the animals to come to their aid. They would've lost following Jake.
The only thing he managed to do that was unique was unite the clans. Which he only accomplishes due to the lazy writing of becoming Toruk Makto. The implication that no Na'vi in generations EVER considered just jumping on Toruk's back. Or if there were other Na'vi that tried it, that none of them ever succeeded, but Jake, who is still new to the world and animals of Pandora, would know how to expertly bond with a creature as ferocious as that, better than every other Na'vi since Neytiri's grandfather.
Not to mention the absolute amnesia everyone gets once he does. His former betrayal is completely forgotten about, never to be mentioned again.
Neytiri no longer cares that Jake massively lied and used her, because he's Toruk Makto.
Tsu'tey no longer cares that Jake knowingly mated with his betrothed and spied on their people's way of life, because Jake's Toruk Makto.
None of the other Omatikaya (who are terrifyingly written without any individuality whatsoever) care their Hometree was just destroyed and their Olo'eyktan killed due to Jake's betrayal, because he's Toruk Makto.
It all just gets washed down the drain, like the sheer chaos Jake's actions caused no longer matter. Because he's Toruk Makto, the Chosen One. No further action required. No heartfelt apologies, no intimate discussions, no anything.
Jake jumps on Toruk, and that's that.
So not only were they actively losing following behind Jake's leadership, but he was only able to rally the clans due to shoddy writing choices. So WHY did Eywa choose this specific man, who was just actively working against her, to be the one the Na'vi are supposed to follow??
On top of all that, the implication of the Omatikaya needing Jake to survive is... dubious to say the least. It is not only literally racist, but also incredibly infantilizing to the Na'vi. The implication that they couldn't have come up with effective strategies without being ordered around by a person who's initial goal was to help destroy them.
"In siding with the ‘natives’, Jake and Grace play a central role in what can essentially be deemed as a form of anti-colonial resistance. What is crucial in this telling for the fight for Na’vi tribal and ecological survival is the ways in which anti-colonial resistance becomes legitimized through the ‘other’ becoming human." [...] "The Na’vi, like other colonized peoples, are denied of their own agency, and resistance only becomes valid and possible within a colonial paradigm of acceptability. As a result the Na’vi become dependent on Jake, the white, male, human, ethnographic anthropologist as saviour, leading them to a freedom in which he had helped threaten in the first place. [...] The Na’vi come to exist suspended by space, time and tradition and the role of Jake and Grace as anthropologists too occupy a place in colonial history that play into both liberal and much more conservative agendas." (Why Avatar is a Truly Dangerous Film)
Neytiri Should've Been the True Lead
Rewatching the first movie after Frontiers of Pandora, I not only had a much greater appreciation for Pandora, but much more distaste for Jake as the leading character.
While watching, I found myself thinking at SEVERAL points, "This would've been so good if Neytiri had been the focal protagonist." And the longer the film went on, the more the feeling settled in.
As the daughter of the Olo'eyktan and Tsahik, who better to lead her people to victory after her father's death? (You could argue Tsu'tey since he was supposed to be Eytukan's successor anyway. Either are valid options!) Neytiri's great grandfather was the last Toruk Makto, who better to become TM of their generation than one of his direct descendants? Neytiri holds great respect for Eywa and was destined to be the next Tsahik after Mo'at, so why couldn't she be the one who Eywa guides all of Pandoran wildlife to follow behind?
Just why oh why do all of these important roles in the narrative have to belong to Jake?????? Why couldn't they belong to a Na'vi character themselves?
This is not to say Jake should've been completely erased from the story. I do think him having some relevance still would've been fine, especially given he's a disabled man. I just wish his role had been that of an ally, a side character, or at most a deuteragonist second to Neytiri. Because there is weight in gaining insider information from a privileged ally.
I just wish that Jake hadn't been the lead character who's POV we follow. I wish it had been from the perspective of one of the actual Na'vi characters that were being oppressed.
BONUS: FOP Just Solves A Lot of the Issues I Had with Avatar
White / Human Saviour
Explained above.
Random Chosen One
The Sarentu playable character helps out, and is invited to help, not because they were spiritually chosen by "a deity they don't even believe in" unlike Jake. The Sarentu helps simply because they want to. Full stop. They see the injustices the RDA is enacting against Pandora, and simply choose to help put a stop to them. Because it is wrong.
That's it.
It's 1000x more admirable in my opinion. To choose to help rather than being a Chosen One destined to do so.
You can argue that since Jake seems to not even believe in Eywa, that he does help based on choice alone. But like I covered earlier, he only does so after he's deemed the Na'vi (or more specifically Neytiri) worthy of being saved. Not because they have the inherent right to live as they wish. No, he didn't consider them worthy of helping until after he decided they were.
The Conflicting Ethics Behind 'Avatars'
I don't know much about all of the side quests in the game so if there are any other avatars, then I don't know about them. But based on what I've seen of the main storyline, FOP handles the dubious topic of 'avatars' much better than the movie does. Because personally, I've always found the concept disturbing.
"At least in other white savior movies, they don’t sugarcoat the whiteness nor did they reward the whiteness with the ultimate prize." [...] "Apparently as a reward for being such a good white savior (that was originally a double agent for Colonel Scarface to get operational intel on them so the army could blow their magic god tree to Hell), Jake gets permanently transformed into one of the Na’vi via his Avatar." "Just imagine '8 Mile' if Eminem beat Sam Wilson and the rest of the Free World at the Shelter so badly, Future [...] took out his fairy godbrother wand and turned Rabbit into a brother. That’s the kool-aid that James Cameron is essentially selling." (Battle to the Bottom: The Blue-faced White Savior ‘Avatar’ Is Even Worse Than ‘After Earth’)
The concept of 'avatars' (in the way Avatar writes them) has always freaked me the hell out. Especially when Jake begins referring to humans as "the Sky People" as though he wasn't one of them just the day before.
FOP handles this subject much better in my opinion because the character of Alma, who is the Sarentu's former teacher at TAP and who is the current leader of the Western Resistance, has great attachment to her avatar body. To the point where many Resistance members have never seen her in her original body.
Later in the story when things begin looking up for the Na'vi and for the Sarentu children, Alma starts using phrases such as "our resistance" and referring to lost Sarentu artifacts that have been reclaimed as coming "back to us", and other like-minded words. And when she does this, she is IMMEDIATELY called out on it.
Alma is not Sarentu nor is she Na'vi, and although she plants her consciousness into the body of a lookalike, she is still, first and foremost, a human. And no matter how much she may try to forget that, how much she may wish to distance herself from the crimes of her people, the characters do not hold her hand and allow her to do so. The game makes it known that while she is doing the right thing now, she has no right to cram herself into a culture and people by jumping into their skin and playing pretend.
[ SPOILER WARNING ]
And the way this arc is resolved? By Alma losing her avatar form and being forced to confront the truth of who she is, a human that was complicit in the oppression of the Na'vi, most specifically the Sarentu.
The Sarentu do not get on their hands and knees and kiss Alma's feet for the ways she's helped them (now). No, SOME of them let her know they appreciate the good she's done, but that ultimately, there needs to be distance. That they are still their own people and need to rebuild without her interference. This clearly hurts Alma, but like an actually good ally, she respects the boundaries made and eventually backs off. The separation is a peaceful one.
[ SPOILER END ]
Alma does not become their Chosen Hero after she defects from the RDA. She is not given a standing ovation. And she is not even given a "thanks" from all of the Sarentu, some of them proceed to hate her guts. The reactions towards Alma, a former RDA member who defected to aid the Na'vi's survival, are wonderfully and realistically mixed.
Because, like the character So'lek says at the beginning of the game, the Na'vi are not a monolith. They are not all the same, nor will they all have the same views.
Various Na'vi characters in FOP have diverging opinions on the Human Resistance group. Some support them, some don't want to come within 10 feet of them. And both POVs are framed as valid by the narrative.
On the other hand in the 2009 movie, any Na'vi character that didn't immediately grow into liking Jake was ultimately punished by the writing.
Neytiri disliked Jake in the beginning of the movie, but as soon as Mo'at names her his teacher, a switch flips and all animosity is gone. She is still tough on him, that's just who she is, but it's clear any true ire is immediately washed away once she is given the role of 'teacher'. In comparison, Tsu'tey spends half the film irritated and distrustful of Jake. (And rightly so given that Jake is literally an RDA plant!!)
Like I've already said, Tsu'tey undergoes a blink-and-you'll-miss-it "arc" where once Jake becomes Toruk Makto, all negativity anyone held vanishes. Except Tsu'tey's timing is clearly too late, because the writing punishes his earlier animosity by killing him off in the final battle.
The same can be said for Eytukan, who was the one to suggest tying the avatars up after Jake reveals his initial goal. Eytukan's animosity is also punished with death, with him dying during the destruction of Hometree.
(It can also be said that these characters died both to punish them for their inability to "appreciate" Jake at a quicker pace, and to simply get them out of the way so Jake could become Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya. Because how else could the White Human Savior become the leader of the people, if the leaders that were already there didn't "get out of the way" to make room?)
Conclusion
If you couldn't tell, I wasn't Avatar (2009)'s biggest fan my first time watching. For numerous reasons.
It wasn't until watching a playthrough of Frontiers of Pandora, that I realized a lot of my ire was towards Jake specifically (although there are many problems with the franchise as a whole), and if the story had just not been told from Jake's POV, and had been told from the POV of one of the Na'vi fighting for their home (Neytiri would be my first choice, Tsu'tey second), then I think I would've at least been able to enjoy it. It's hard for me to even watch Avatar (2009) because of how rampant the issues are in that movie. Or I suppose because of how central Jake is.
I wrote all this just to air out my thoughts. But if you're similar to me and felt like Avatar (2009) was "off", then I do suggest you take a look at Frontiers of Pandora and still see if you feel the same.
All this isn't to say FOP is the perfect game, mind you. It absolutely has flaws, ones that others have touched on and that I've noticed myself. But even with it's flaws, I'd take it's misgivings over Avatar (2009)'s atrocious ones any day.
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lanelane04 · 2 years
Text
Third Piece of the Puzzle
I just wanna see a happy family with the reader, Hank and Connor so I impulsively wrote this up at like 1am and I have no idea where this is going. But let me know what you think! This will be a series but it depends on how well my commitment issues will take it.
TW: this does deal with depression and grieving, alcoholism (from Hank) and suicidal intentions. Most of the story takes place from the game itself but just as a warning, please read with caution if those are a trigger.
Very minimal use of (y/n)!
Word count: 2.1k
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Hank Anderson.
He used to be admirable, a role model to look up to. He was someone people would use as a good example of how to be a cop. He was intimidating at first, but after getting to know him? He was the person with the biggest heart out of anyone you knew. He had trained other members of the police force, watching them become good people of law enforcement and get assigned to new partners. He had the title of the youngest lieutenant in Detroit history for a reason. He earned that promotion.
But, after the unfortunate incident with his son, everything changed for the worse.
Who could blame him though? Getting into a horrific car accident on a cold winter day, waiting around for news while your son is having emergency surgery and only being told by the android, who performed the surgery, comes in with nothing but dreadful news.
He couldn't focus on anything else that damn android was saying. In his head, it was so clearly the androids' fault. It was the one who did the surgery, it was the one who couldn't save his son, it's all the robot's fault.
He became everything but a role model for beginner police officers. He started snapping easily, he started relying on alcohol to cope with his grief, his depression, and the spiralling, loud and intruding thoughts that rang in his head. He started rocking up to work after midday, he even skipped work a couple of times. He used to be this, he wasn't that, he never did this, you'll never hear the end of it and neither will he. He couldn't see a way out of the spiral but the alcohol makes things easier temporarily.
He's lucky enough that Captain Fowler won't fire him, even after countless threats for doing so. He's lucky enough to still have a job regardless.
This is where you come into the picture.
You were a detective, you were in the homicide division and very occasionally, you would get assigned a case dealing with deviant androids.
You were his partner. He helped you write reports and show you how they should be written properly. He trained you, he watched you move up the rank and become a detective. He even treated you out to dinner as a little congratulatory party. You were someone he was proud of.
He would get assigned cases with you often; him protecting you and vice versa. Putting oneself in risky situations which lead to arguments after the case.
"Did you even think about how you could've gotten yourself killed by doing that?!"
"They were about to shoot you and you think I'm going to stand back and watch that happen?!"
None of you would let the day end without making up though. Whatever argument happens between the two of you needs to be resolved before any of you go back home.
The two of you would grab lunch together on your breaks, you would hang out outside of work and just have a couple of drinks and talk about anything and everything. He also made sure that his intentions were nothing but friendly since he did not want you to take things the wrong way. Bitching about work, very certain people even, an incident that happened in one of your personal lives. He would occasionally invite you over to his place to play with his son and his lovable dog, Sumo. Sometimes he would even just invite you over to watch the game, only to be shushed by Cole whenever the two of you were being too loud.
He considered you one of his closest friends, family even.
He felt a little embarrassed to consider someone who was relatively younger than him as one of his closest friends, which earned a laugh out of you when he told you one night.
"Seriously, Hank? You're worrying over that?"
"Hey, I never said I was worried about it. I just find it a bit embarrassing being friends with a kid."
"Oh, come on! You're not that old, you're only... Double my age."
"You make me feel old."
But did he care about what others might think?
Never and that hasn't changed.
He started to decline your offers of going out for lunch runs. He wouldn't come up to your desk every morning and annoy you before starting his work. When the two of you went out drinking, it wasn't the same.
He would drink until he could barely walk while you would try and talk him out of the drinks. You would have to drive him home, force him to drink water, give mandatory pets to Sumo, and force him into bed.
Every time, right before you leave his bedroom, he would always call out to you and you would always reply.
"I'm sorry, please don't leave me."
"I'm always here for you, Hank."
Not matter how kind-hearted and understanding you can be of his situation, you need to look after yourself too. Doing this every single week for months on end? It's not healthy. He's becoming slightly dependent on you. It gets tiring looking after someone who's struggling, but if they're not doing anything to help themselves without relying on you, should you really be putting in all that time and effort in?
You can, but there's always a limit.
As much as you love Hank and his old man ways, you can't keep doing this. You're important too. You need to put yourself first.
So you started distancing yourself from him. It hurts doing so, but god was it painful for him to see you avoid him. Even the awkward small talk was unbearable. What happened to keeping things open between the two of you? You knew he would understand if you told him but would he take it well? Absolutely not. You were all he had after Cole's passing.
He knows it's his fault you haven't been doing well and he knows you're avoiding him for the sake of your well-being, he knows. Not only did he lose his son, but he had also managed to lose someone who was family to him, all because of him. It's another spiral he has fallen into.
Androids have become more and more popular. They're everywhere; running their owners' errands, working at any job and place you'll see, helping their owner with a task or simply keeping them company. They're only doing what they're told to do and what they're programmed for.
Captain Fowler had assigned him to be Hank's partner, even after knowing the hatred for androids the old man has. Connor had been assigned to cases involving deviant androids. As much as Fowler wanted him to start straight away, Hank didn't seem to come into work that day.
There was a lack of people in the station tonight, maybe the people on the night shift haven't started yet. The sound of faded pages flipping, chairs rolling and sluggish footsteps filled the room. He walked over to an officer and began his line of questioning.
"Excuse me, I hope I'm not disturbing you." You looked up at him, fatigue clear as ever on your face. You looked him up and down, taking in his presence before speaking. Why did they make an android look so handsome?
"Not at all, can I help you with something?"
"I was hoping you would know where Lieutenant Anderson is at this time." He saw your tired smile drop immediately. He thought of all the reasons as to why you suddenly seemed saddened by the name. What happened? Were you close? Did he do something to you?
"What's your business with him, if you don't mind me asking."
"Captain Fowler has assigned me to work with him as his partner. We will be working on cases involving deviant androids." His voice was monotone, with little to no emotion, no fluctuations in his tone, nothing like that. He stood with his hands clasped in front of him, patiently waiting for your response.
"Hank isn't going to like the news of that. I can't believe he's on deviant androids as well..." You mumbled to yourself. "He should be at Jimmy's Bar, I can show you the way there if you'd like?" He nodded to your request, stepping back as he watched you turn off your terminal and grab your jacket. He could easily find the bar himself and he should've declined your offer, it would've been quicker to find him, alone. "What's your name? I don't think I ever got it."
"My name is Connor, I've been sent by CyberLife to assist DPD." You introduced yourself, telling him about which division you're in. You brought up the fact that you have been assigned several cases involving deviants, more as a sign for him to know that he can go to you if he's stuck.
Not like he'll ever need the help.
The walk to the bar wasn't awkward, if anything, you were enjoying the interaction with the android. Connor was interesting, he's unique. It felt good within you, finally having a conversation that wasn't work-related or Detective Reed annoying the living shit out of you. You have other officers that interacted with you, but none filled the gap of a true connection. You missed it.
You missed Hank.
"May I ask you a personal question, detective?"
"Of course, you can, Connor. You're free to ask me anything. But please, just call me (Y/N)." You waited at the zebra crossing, waiting for the pedestrian lights to turn green because you know damn well Connor will be on your ass for jaywalking.
"What's your relationship with Lieutenant Anderson?" He looked down at you, observing your reaction. "You seemed upset by me mentioning him earlier. Has something happened between the two of you?" Do you tell him? Have you told anyone about what happened? Have you been bottling this all up this entire time? Was it right for you to just start emotionally spilling everything to him, at this very moment?
Wow, Hank was really your only friend at the station, how sad.
"We... We used to be close." You started hesitantly. How were you supposed to go on about this? Why is it taking so long for the light to go green? "I used to be his partner before I got my promotion. We still worked on cases together though, just not as much." The blaring noise of the pedestrian light going green interrupted. The two walked to the other side and continued their walk.
"I won't go into too much detail but... Something bad happened that turned Hank into the person he is today. I tried to help him but it was starting to have a bad impact on me when trying to look after him." You saw the neon sign of Jimmy's Bar come into view, making you stop in your tracks.
The feeling of anxiety rushed through you. You came here all the time. Was it because you knew that Hank was inside? When was the last time you talked to him? Or even made eye contact with him? You've spent so long avoiding him, even with occasional awkward small talk. When was the last time you sat down with him and had a chat about anything and everything? How long has it been?
"So I stopped talking to him, for my own sake. You can ask him about it but maybe after getting to know him a bit." The android stood in front of you and nodded. His circle LED showed an orange hue before going back to a calm blue. He had been listening intently to every word you spoke, making sure to not miss a single thing.
"I will head in and see if the lieutenant is inside. Thank you for showing me the way, have a good night." He gave you a nod before making his way towards the entrance of the bar.
"Wait, Connor." He felt the warmth of your hand grip around his wrist. He stared down at you, tilting his head in confusion. You looked like you were having an internal argument with yourself. The way you opened your mouth but nothing came out, the way you avoided making eye contact with him, the tight, trembling grip you had on his hand.
"Is something the matter?"
"Hank is a good person, Connor. He didn't use to be the person you're about to meet. Please trust me on that." Once again, his LED flickered an orange amber before returning to blue.
"I will keep that noted." When you finally looked up at him, relief shown on your face. You let go of his wrist but for some reason, he didn't want you to. He stared down at you, confused about the software instability notification popping up on his window. "I should get going now."
"Oh, of course! Sorry, Connor." And with that, you turned around and started making your way back to the station. Should he keep an eye on you until you got out of sight? It's late, anything could happen at this time of night. He's already stalled enough time on his current mission, he should be going now. He can't waste any more time.
Software Instability^
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justrainandcoffee · 3 months
Text
Inner demons (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc)
“They gave me a free pass to kill and I enjoyed it...”
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Masterlist
Summary: It's 1917. Alfie and the men under his charge were allowed to return home. The war isn't over, but it's for him. At least physically. His wife found him one night sat in front of fireplace, he's mentally lost back in France. "Tell me a story about a man tortured by his own thoughts," his mind says "I'll tell you the story of Alfie Solomons."
Warnings: PTSD. Mentions of war. Blood. Murder. Suicide. Angst. Hurt/comfort.
Words: 1.5k
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1917
"Captain, captain! It's Jacob Craig!! Captain!"
In his dreams, Alfie is following one if his men. Out of the trenches, a young soldier named Jacob is lying on the ground his whole body is shaking and Alfie can see why. His left leg is no there anymore and around him there's only blood.
"I'm…I'm so-sorry cap-captain."
"It's okay, soldier, you're fine. You're fine." Alfie put a hand on his shoulder and tried to not look at his missing leg.
"Te-tell my mum I lo-love her."
"I will."
Jacob Craig, only 19 years old, died no longer after. He was just a kid. Alfie wanted to yelled while some of the men put the corpse next to the others. He didn't have a chance to become a man, to have a family, to live a long life. Jacob Craig was one of the many that didn't have the chance to return home. His thoughts travelled to London. There, in a nice house in Camden Town, his wife was waiting for him. Alfie didn't know if he will be able to see her again.
A bomb exploded next to him and he ducked. When you're in a battlefield there's no time for sentimentalism. You kill or you die. Alfie grabbed his rifle and shot.
Next to him, his wife is sleeping but Alfie can't. His mind is torturing him, his nightmares are chasing him like a predator. He can name every single man who died under his watch. Not just Jacob Craig, there was a Kyle, a Christopher, an Andrew, a Derek… and so many more. You can hide if you want to, but you can't hide from your own mind.
Alfie was always an impulsive person, using the violence to be feared and respected was part of his nature. The problem is that the war increased that. He had to survive to return home and he knew what to do. But now in his mind there were not only the voices of his men, but also his enemies. The ones he killed with his own hands.
Back in 1914, before the war, he thought that returning home it'd be easy. But it wasn't. He was back, it's true, and it was more than millions could say, but the price he had to pay…
He goes to their living room. Alfie sits down in front of the chimney and watches the fire. It's hard to control himself. It's hard to pretend that everything is fine, when everything is not fine.
"Please, please… spare my life."
The voice of a man he never knew appears in his memories. Alfie can see his uniform in his mind. It was an Italian. 'A fucking wop'.
Alfie didn't spare his life. He took it and now the spirit of the Italian soldier lives forever in his conscience.
The rage he's carrying is too much. Too strong. "Tell me a story about a man tortured by his own thoughts, mom." His imagination says. And another voice responds: "I'll tell you the story of Alfie Solomons."
Anibal González was a good man. One of his best friends while they were there. Son of a Peruvian couple, Anibal was raise in England when both of his parents moved to Europe. Anibal was a funny man, full of good intentions who just wanted to live in the countryside and have a farm. That was before he blew up his brain after two years in the front. Alfie tried to stop him, but he couldn't.
He hides his face in his hands. "Make it stop… make it stop…"
"Al?" her soft voice, makes him turn around to see her. "Alfie, what's happening?"
"Ghosts… I can see them. They can see me. They're haunting me. All of them."
His hands are shaking and she put hers over his. Alfie is not the same and she can see that. His eyes are now always scrutinizing the surroundings. He's alert all the time and he can't sleep, like now.
"I don't want to hurt you, Rosie. I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't, Al."
"No, you don't understand. I know I'm 'ere, I know I'm safe now and I know who ya're… but it requires a lot of strength to reminding myself that. I need to tell me all the time that I'm not in the trenches. That there aren't wops here… only you. But I'm afraid that one day I won't be able to distinguish between ya and an enemy, between this house and the battlefield. I-… I'm terrified of hurting you. Of killing you, because my mind is damaged."
Rose caresses his face. Her poor Alfie. In her whole life she never saw him that bad… broken. Fuck those who dared to hurt him. She doesn't need a reminder to know that her husband isn't a good man, but Rose knows her husband is incapable of doing anything against her. And the proof is in front of her. Even broken, Alfie's biggest fear isn't his well-being but hers. The man she loves is terrified of hurting her because his mind isn't the same.
She hugs him and he hides his face against her body. Rose strokes his hair. "We'll face this together, Al. As always. Even if it takes you ages. I don't care. I'll be here."
"If I hurt ya, I will kill myself, ya know that, right? I fuckin' shoot myself."
"And I'm going to stop you before you can do it. You're my everything, Al. I know you better than I know myself. True that I don't know what did you experience in France, what did you see but I know how strong you are. And this is only…"
"They gave me a free pass to kill and I used it. I enjoyed it," he interrumpts. Alfie looks at her "I know I can't stop now. My nightmares, luv, are red and the voices keep claiming blood. Over and over again."
She notices that he's trembling again and holds him even tighter: "I wish we'd have the chance to run far away from here. I wish those who sent you there die cruelly. Alfie, I can't change the past. But I'm ready to this new present. If hypothetically you kill someone else… Do you think that will scare me? The day you arrive here covered by blood then I'll prepare a bath to help you to clean yourself. I'll stitch your wounds. I'll kiss your bruises. I'm not scared of you. But I'll help you to fight that urge, no matter what. Listen, I said I know you better than I know myself and it's true and since it's true, I know you're incapable of hurting me even if your voices are screaming at you."
In the house there's only the two of them. As always the two of them. Their dog called Fancy is sleeping next to the door. The sound of the fire is only interrupted by the sound of their breathing.
"I love ya, pet."
"I know. And I love you, too Al."
"I'm tired. It's just it. I'm tired of everything. Ya think it'll pass?"
"Everything always pass, Alfie. One day this will be a distant memory."
"Probably."
They remain in silence once again. When Rose watches at him again, she sees him sleeping on her. The woman caresses his hair slowly.
"They gave me a free pass to kill and I enjoyed it." His words are engraved in her mind now. If hell is a real place then Alfie's soul already has a room for him there. But he was not going to go alone there. If she had to sell her own soul to be with him then she's ready to make a deal with the devil himself if that meant to be with him forever.
Alfie sleeps with his head on her lap. He's dreaming again. He's in France but this time his wife is there, right in front of him while he's ready to use his rifle. Alfie's hands are shaking and is bitting his lower lip. He sees her smiling at him and before he'd realise what's happening, the gun fells on the ground. For the first time in his dreams he's not hurting anyone. Rose is right: he's incapable of hurting her even in his nightmares. The demons in his head scream but he's not listening to them. In the dreams, Alfie smiles at her too.
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pinkvaquita · 7 months
Text
So, Royal Mike already uploaded the videos of the new update. Aka, I can see what is going on because I don't have the game. And now that he uploaded all about the update, I want to make my opinion and analysis about Smoke Cheese cookie behaivor and actions before I start spilling all my crazy ideas of shipping him with Mozzarella.
All the screenshots from the game are from Royal Mike Chanel, and obviously spoilers under the cut
So, like. As we all see, Smoked Cheese escalated very quickly from "This is needed for the safety of the kingdom" to "GIVE ME ALL THE FUCKING POWER, NOW". And yeah, it could defenetly be seemed as terrible character writing from Devsis. But maybe my over-analysis make me encounter with something. Or a least gave a me a theory and personal headcanon.
I'm not a psychologist so maybe I'm wrong, but I have really strong suspicious about Smoked Cheese having narcisistic personality disorder and everyone in the kingdom interpreting it as him just being him.
His first intentions and ideas about the danger of not making a more direct move and almost not care enough about the return of Dark Enchantresss were not wrong. Golden Cheese was being reckless with those decisions.
And also, there is a moment were Golden Cheese scold him because she catched him treathening the protagonic gang. And he excuses himself saying that "anxiety got the best of him". And... Maybe it wasn't a total lie?
It could be that the errors becoming more prominent and, especially, the sudden news of Dark Enchantresss could have triggered a impulsive reaction of panic on him. Since the last time he heard from her, was when they all died. I said specially the last one because when Golden Cheese rejected his idea of torturing the protagonist, he got upset but aceppt it. But when she did the same thing about not taking a direct aproach to the possible attack, he finally showed his ideas of making a revolt.
He probably got scared that maybe story was gonna repet itself. And his fear showed more the more the idea got in his head and the more he watched Golden Cheese still was ignoring him.
And i think the probe to this is how he treated the errors, before finding about them being usefull in his plan to take the power, he rejected it and wanted to get ride of anything related to that. But when he realized that it could be a strong weapon, he was more than happy to keep many of them. Because the errors was something more easy to deal than Dark Enchantresss.
By the moment he finally got his plan on practice, he probably got in a mind state of: "Is now or never, this HAS to work. Or we are doomed", since in his mind it was that or waiting for getting killed again by an attack of any origin. Explaining why he got in this moment, well...
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A bit too dramatic. And he even got more raw and impulsive when the plan wasn't working after stealling Golden Cheese soul jam. He was screaming and growling like a beast, and probably didn't curse because in the game is impossible.
So, adding to that. I also notice he does something really interesting.
He refletcs himself in others. For example, he said to Mozzarella that the her new tower was making her get things into her head, and also called not trustworthy even after her helping him.
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And also, he described Golden Cheese as an arrogant and a brat. And he defenetly acted like that when he was defeated.
And well, all of this fits very well in the symptoms of a narcisistic person.
(this screenshots were taken by me)
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Smoked Cheese showed many of this traits in his actions and words. The anger at his failed plans, the lack of ability to sympathize with our protagonic group, the fact that his plan of doing this was not something that got totally (just partially) rushed, the constant bickering with Mozzarella (untill she become his ally) and Burnt Cheese, the way he shows a lack of emotional inteligence, his manipulative way to twist things with his words, the way he enjoyed so much controlling something powerfull as the monsters, the desire of power and recognition. And how at the lack of this, he decided to get it himself.
He probably normaly is able to control himself a little, to care about others and not get carried on. Explaining why he said that alo of this was for the greater good. But then the despair of needing to feel his and his kingdom safe (and the lack of having a healthy coping mechanism) make him take desperate decisions. Leading predictebly to failure.
And that honestly sucks because yeah, his actions are not excusable, but that doesn't change that he had an actual good intention. But being mentally ill got him out of track.
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goldenbloodytears · 2 months
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Got me thinking after the last (one of??) question you've answered. How do you picture the day Danny killed the senior Johnson and the aftermath of it?
Good question. I don’t have the entire thing sketched out in my head but here’s a rough outline of the ideas I’ve had banging around inside my skull for a while.
The tome does all but outright say that Danny killed his old man on a wild impulse… so following along with that, I think it was an “accident” too.
I put the rest under a read more since I think it got a little long haha
I think Danny had long prior developed a fantasy where he would kill his dad, one where he thought out all the little minute details based on his dad’s habits. I don’t know if he would have physically written anything down plan-wise, but I view it as the originating behaviour of his later impulse and style of stalking, he just became more organized about it once he knew he would be purposefully hunting people later.
I think the situation leading up to the event was something like this. The old man tells Danny they’re going on a hunting/camping trip, whatever plans Danny has made previous to this does not matter—he is expected to drop them. They take a long drive out to the middle of nowhere, and it’s tense and awkward. They get where they’re going, setup everything…. And eventually they get into an argument. Possibly one which elevates into a physical altercation and Danny ends up pulling his knife.
I had the particularly unhinged thought last night of whether his old man would be proud of Danny attacking him or at least suddenly try to comfort him “it’s okay son it’s an accident” while he’s bleeding the fuck out in the middle of nowhere… this is admittedly where my ideas start to break down and get fuzzy.
The next part I’m not sure about, but I can see Danny trying to rig the scene afterwards… despite the fact it’s an accident. This is assuming he doesn’t just go into shock for a bit. I don’t think he would know what to do here, nor am I super sure either. Would he leave to try to flag down the cops or attempted medical help if his dad wasn’t quite dead yet? Idk.
There’s an entire alternate scenario in which Danny just buries his dad in the woods and then fucks off to new life, but that feels a little too… I’m not sure if it’s easy, but it feels rather fanciful? I kinda feel like it’s the story he would tell to make himself sound badass.
So I feel like either way he probably got caught that first time. Maybe his dad had invited some old friends of his for the thing but they only show up later to a dissociated bloody Danny and his dead dad a couple feet away.
I should probably note that I’ve been considering this incident as happening while Danny is an older teen or young adult. Within the 17-21 range. Mostly because I think part of their argument would be related to Danny’s plans for the future and his dad wanting him to follow in his footsteps.
If we do go with the outcome where he gets charged, then he ends up calling his mom to bail him out—he’s pretty understandably freaking out at this point as the reality sets in. She flys out and immediately takes over in being the mom he hasn’t had for years; she’s the one who takes care of his legal fees and finding him a really good defence lawyer. I think I’ve said it already but his mom feels massively guilty about the situation.
There’s a couple potential outcomes to the situation here, and also some things to note.
I think the resulting legal trial would be Danny’s first taste of the media’s interest in bad news on a personal level, deeper than the “oh look more bad news” when you’re watching the local news at six kinda deal. I don’t picture it gaining much more than local publicity however.
Then you have where he might get charged with a lesser count like manslaughter, rather than homicide (this is related to my thoughts about him writing out his fantasies earlier… a good prosecutor would be able to argue he had criminal intent if his writings were found, whereas a lack of prior documentation heavily pushes the legal narrative more towards voluntary manslaughter by way of emotional distress)…. regardless of what he gets charged with, I’m a little stumped as to whether he could get a full acquittal or not.
The outcome I like is where he does get an acquittal (or extremely lenient sentencing), but his mom still has Danny move in with her and the family she’s got going, and there’s a brief period where he’s going to therapy or taking self-help classes (once again paid for by mommy dearest). Everything looks normal for a bit (I think the sudden “normalcy” drives him a little crazy tbh) and he gets his first journalism job at a paper… only to end up having the epiphany that the best way for him to get anywhere in the news world is to create the news himself.
He makes the conscious decision to go forward with what he’s doing at this point, after all, isn’t he hunting humans like his old man wanted him to do?
The only contention I have is that a criminal record could make things complicated, but at the same time explains some of his idiosyncrasies—like why is his background entry for dbd so obsessed with him not leaving any dna?? Well, maybe because he already has finger prints saved in a local law agency somewhere. Why does he use fake identities? Because he has a crime associated with his legal one, and because it provided more “protection” for what he’s doing.
At the same time, I think having a near brush with the law, one where he was lucky enough to escape without a criminal record, is enough to also explain the same things.
As a final thought, he definitely carries guilt about his dad’s death, like… his lore is pretty clear that he feels like his old man deserved a “better design” which makes me wonder if the original plan he had was a lot more… peaceful for Johnson senior to experience, or whether that’s just the reflection of “wow that really sucked” and not living up to the idealized fantasy he built in his head.
Also random trivia bit but I think he calls his mom on her birthday every year and tells her about how his life is “going” (probably making it sound way better than it is). She’s always chiding him to come visit and to call more often bc she loves and misses him.
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violet-shadows · 2 years
Text
Missing Piece (Part Ten)
Series Index | Masterlist
Summary: Cassian and Nesta are happily mated and in love, so why do they feel like something is missing? When a newcomer arrives in the City of Starlight, they learn that their bond is not yet complete. 
Pairing: Cassian x Nesta x Reader (She/Her) (Poly Relationship)
Word Count: 3.0k
Warnings: blood and injury, graphic depiction of canon typical violence, death
A/N: We’re on the home stretch! I really appreciate all the support this series has received. I hope you enjoy this next part. 
⊱ —————— ❈ —————— ⊰
He didn’t wait for me to respond before stepping over the threshold. I stumbled backward as he advanced, realizing a moment too late that it was the wrong move. With no other exits aside from the front door, I was now cornered, watching in horror as he closed the door behind him. I glanced sideways at the window, which was cracked to let a breeze in. If I could cross the room fast enough, I’d be able to jump. A second-story fall would hurt but it would likely be preferable to whatever this male had planned. He seemed to catch my intentions and stepped forward several paces, corralling me towards the kitchen until my back was pressed against the cabinets. “W-what do you want?” I sputtered, resenting the way my voice shook. 
He smirked, squaring his shoulder the way a boxer does before they swing. “I remembered where I’ve seen you before… back in Winter, right?” I shook my head, but neither of us believed the lie. “It’s coming back to me now… Your father was that idiot merchant, the one who gave us trouble over that healer bitch.” 
“That was my mother!” I hissed. For a moment, rage overshadowed my terror and I surged forward, grasping him by the collar impulsively. He didn’t so much as flinch as a barreled into him, his mouth still twisted in a smug smirk. Up close, I had to crane my neck to look him in the eyes and my stomach dropped. With the steadiness of a predator, he reached up and caught my wrists in a crushing grip, holding them in front of me like makeshift shackles. I tried to pull away, but he held firm, taking a step forward until I was backed against the cabinets once more. 
“Yes,” he replied, looking me up and down, “I can see the resemblance. I’ll admit her loss was a waste… of a pretty face, at least.” My mother’s face, kind and gentle and full of life flashed before me in my mind's eye, and to think he saw her as nothing more than decoration made me see red. Unable to free myself from his hold, I did the next best thing to express my anger, spitting directly in his face. He froze, the amusement draining from him, and before I could react, I was on the ground, my face throbbing from the blow he just landed. “More fiery than you look, healer,” he commented, crouching over me as I clutched my aching cheek.
“What the fuck do you want from me?” I seethed, glaring up at him. I wracked my brain for solutions. What would Cassian do? How would Nesta respond? 
“I want you to keep your little mouth shut before you ruin everything,” he replied, glowering at me. “And I know one good way of shutting bitches like you up.” Time seemed to slow as he reached down for me, his bare hands more threatening than any talons or claws I had ever encountered. Desperately, I searched my surroundings one last time for something, anything, I could use to turn the tide in my favor. My kitchen was largely barren, but just as I was about to give up my search, a flash of color caught my attention. Steel blue, sage green, and ochre dishes. It was as though the potter had based them on Cassian and Nesta’s eyes. A single dinner plate was sitting on the countertop, close enough for me to grasp if I was quick. 
If there was one thing healing had taught me, it was that, in a crisis, you don’t have time to second guess yourself. You have to make split-second decisions and commit to them because lingering in indecision will get your patient killed. So, I didn’t think twice, lunging upward to snatch the plate. I brought it down on the side of his head as hard as I could, the sturdy ceramic shattering on impact. I didn’t wait to see if the blow was effective, scrambling towards the front door. He recovered too quickly, though, cutting me off mid-stride, but he was thrown off enough that I was able to pivot towards my second, less ideal exit strategy. 
I leapt over the bed and grasped the window frame, intending to throw it open and dive onto the street below. ‘Don’t hesitate’, a voice chanted in my mind, ‘just act.’ Just as my fingers closed around the window frame, however, a wall of muscle slammed into me from behind. The momentum of the blow sent my head forward and I squeezed my eyes shut as the glass shattered against my skull. At the same moment, all of the air was forced from my lungs and I toppled, falling onto the glass-covered floor as spots danced in my vision. I could hear nothing but the ringing in my ears as a pair of boots approached my prone form, and, had I not been gasping for breath, I might have cried out in frustration. 
The room spun as I was hauled to my feet, supported only by a large hand wrapped tightly around my neck. The male had blood dripping down his temple from my move with the plate, and I was happy I had at least done some damage before he killed me. There was a wild look in his eyes as he pulled one hand back, drawing a dagger from his belt. “The best part is,” he growled, pulling his arm back and leveling the dagger at my sternum, “there’s no one left alive to miss you.”
I thought of Nesta and Cassian, of the future with them I had been dreaming of before I knew their names, and I knew he was wrong. I steeled myself and closed my palm around the large shard of glass I had pinched between my fingertips, ignoring the pain as it cut into my palm. I zeroed in on his neck, eyeing the soft spots just beneath the jaw, on either side of the trachea. If my aim was true, I would avoid the protective thyroid cartilage and slide the blade home, severing the major vessels supplying his brain with blood. I had seen such injuries before, watched how quickly life drained from the victims, and I’d never imagined I would be the one inflicting it. 
I screamed as I did it, swinging my arm with all the force I could muster as I lodged the shard into his neck. It sunk through flesh just as a blade would, sending blood spattering outwards, coating my face and chest. Just as I anticipated, his hold on his blade faltered as he reached up to claw at the wound. His eyes went wide in shock as he stumbled backward, falling to the floor where blood was already beginning to pool. I slid to the ground, transfixed by the grisly scene before me. Instinctively, I counted respirations and took stock of his rapidly waning consciousness, the healer in me screaming to put pressure on the wound, to begin life-sustaining measures.
It was what my mother would have done. She would have put aside her personal vendetta and sprung into action, trying to save the dying man at her feet regardless of how he had wronged her. She wouldn’t have thought twice about trying to stop the bleeding. But she had not seen her father murdered before her eyes. She had not watched her mother be dragged away in chains. She had not tended to soldiers and prisoners of war, their bodies so mangled that death was a mercy. She had not known rage and anger and despair as I had and she had not been changed by the cruelty of the world. 
My mother would have helped that male, but I was not my mother. So, instead, I remained curled up on the floor, watching his complexion go from sunkissed to ashen to grey. The only sounds he made were quiet, stilted gasps: agonal breathing, the last impulses from a dying brainstem trying to keep itself alive. First, the choked wheezes stopped, then the twitching ceased, and he was utterly still. All in all, it took less than a minute for him to die, and I hadn’t moved an inch to try and save him. 
Perhaps that made me a monster. Perhaps I didn’t care. 
⊱ —————— ❈ —————— ⊰
Nesta paced the balcony as she waited for Azriel’s return, her anxiety growing as darkness swept over the city below. She wanted, needed, to hear that her mate was safe and well, and she was beginning to regret her decision to send Azriel in her stead. At the time, with Nesta still struggling to come up with something to say to her mate, sending the Spymaster seemed like the most reasonable course of action. Now, she wondered if it was time she got over her fears and go directly to Y/N herself, consequences be damned. Just as Nesta was considering braving the stairs on her own, she heard the familiar flap of large wings as a figure appeared out of the night sky. It was Cassian, not Azriel, who landed before her on the balcony, striding forward to pull her into a hug. 
“How was the meeting?” she asked, looking up to study his face.
“Boring,” he replied with a shrug, “why are you hanging around out here?”
“Waiting for Azriel,” Nesta explained. Cassian gave her a quizzical look and her cheeks darkened slightly. “I may have sent him to check on Y/N… to make sure she gets home safely.” Cassian smiled, affection echoing down the bond between them, but just as he opened his mouth to retort, another set of wings could be heard approaching.
“We have a problem,” Azriel stated, landing on the balcony with a thud. Nesta’s blood turned to ice in her veins and she could hear Cassian’s heart rate quicken. “Y/N’s fine, she’s at her apartment. But she ran into some males who were less than gentlemanly.” 
Cassian’s siphons flared with life, illuminating the foyer in a blinding red glow. His fists were clenched, shaking with untold power and rage. “As I said, she’s physically unharmed, but she believes one of them is the male who killed her father. She was… is… distraught.”
“These males,” Nesta said lowly, her jaw clenched, “where are they?”
“Being rounded up as we speak. I’ll take them to the Hewn City and look into the one she recognized, but first, you should go to her,” Azriel replied. The pair was momentarily torn between going to their mate and ripping apart those that had threatened her, but in one shared look, the decision was made. 
Cassian flew low over Velaris, flapping his wings to propel the two toward Y/N’s apartment. They landed on the street and all but ran up the steps with Cassian in the lead. When they reached the top, both were hit by the pungent smell of blood hanging thick in the air. Nesta’s heart hammered in her ears as Cassian drew his dagger, throwing open the front door and barreling into the dwelling without hesitation. 
They were hit with a wave of blood and terror, the stench nearly overpowering the small space. On the floor, in the center of the room, was the body of a male High Fae laying face up in a pool of blood, a gash torn into the side of his neck. Blood and glass covered the floor and the window next to the bed was shattered. In the low light, Nesta almost missed the small, shaking figure huddled in the corner, beneath the destroyed window. She surged forward, letting out a strangled cry of surprise and anguish, and fell to her knees before her mate. Cassian was close behind, closing the gap in an instant. “Y/N?” Nesta murmured, reaching out to touch her arm. “Y/N, are you hurt?” 
Her mate looked up, revealing a blood-soaked and bruised face, and Nesta felt panic begin to bubble within her. Cassian cursed and pushed past her, using his hands to wipe the blood from the small healer’s face and neck, assessing her wounds. Her face had several superficial cuts, and a nasty gash marred her temple. He moved down her body, pausing when he found another deep laceration on her palm. “She needs a healer,” Nesta sputtered, dashing to the bathroom to retrieve a towel. 
“Rhys is on his way,” Cassian explained, having reached out to the High Lord the moment he scented blood. “Y/N, can you hear me?”
“I killed him,” she whispered in reply, her eyes locked on the lifeless body behind them. “He was going to kill me. He killed my father.” Cassian shot a wing out, blocking her view of the bloody scene, and began wrapping her hand with the towel Nesta fetched. Nesta pressed another cloth to the wound on her temple, stemming the bleeding.
“You did good, sweetheart,” he murmured, holding her hand in a firm grip. “You’re safe now.” 
“I didn’t want to,” she whispered, her eyes distant and unfocused. It didn’t take a healer to know she was in shock. “I didn’t stop the bleeding.”
Nesta wrapped an arm around her shoulder and drew her close, “shhh, it’s okay. You did what you had to. It’s over now.” She smoothed a hand over Y/N’s hair, allowing her to cry into her chest while Cassian sheltered them both, his wings blocking out the horror that lay just a few meters away. Later, they would both be consumed by unyielding rage at what had been done to their mate, but as she cried in their arms, they couldn’t help but simply feel broken as well. 
Rhysand took mere minutes to arrive with Azriel close behind. The latter of the two assessed the scene and sent his shadows forward, concealing the body in waves of impenetrable darkness. Cassian’s siphons flared when Rhys approached, and he fought to suppress his instincts. 
“I’ll winnow you to the House,” said the High Lord, “Madja is there.” Cassian nodded stiffly, reaching out to gather Y/N into his arms. Nesta hovered close by, her eyes never leaving her injured mate as Rhysand transported them across the city in a snap. Cassian kept Y/N held tightly to his chest as they landed in the foyer, his face a mask of fury. Madja greeted them, along with Mor and Feyre, and directed him to place Y/N on the sofa. 
“Wait,” Y/N objected, sounding more coherent than before, “I’ll get blood on the upholstery.” 
“Don’t worry about it,” Rhys replied, “magic does wonders for getting out blood stains.” Cassian set her down before she could argue more, his arm never leaving her shoulder as he took a seat to her right. Nesta joined them on the other side, fetching a throw to wrap around her shivering form. Madja crouched before her, gently unwrapping the crude bandages as she pulsed her healing magic outwards, taking stock of the younger healer’s injuries. She addressed the gash to her temple first, stitching it shut then cleaning the remaining scratches. Once her face was mostly clean, Madja moved on to addressing her hand.
“This is deep… full thickness,” she commented, gently dabbing away coagulated blood to reveal an angry looking gash. Y/N hissed in pain, instinctively pulling away, and Cassian surged forward, catching Madja’s wrist before she could touch his mate again. She gave the General a withering look and he withdrew, looking sheepish. 
“I’m okay,” Y/N said, her voice hoarse and quiet. He resisted the urge to argue, to scream that none of this was anywhere close to okay. 
“Your face is bruised,” Madja commented, resuming her work cleaning the wound. “Any vision changes? Loss of consciousness?” 
“No, maybe a mild concussion if that. It just smarts, is all,” Y/N replied, her gaze fixed on her sluggishly bleeding hand. 
“Anything else?” Madja asked, retrieving her suturing kit. 
“Bruise ribs, I think,” Y/N replied, sounding distant. Nesta cursed under her breath, her fists clenching and unclenching in her lap. “Maybe broken, I’m not sure.” 
She sounded so casual, clinical even, in the way she reported her injuries. It was a coping strategy Cassian recognized from the battlefield, the suppression of emotion in the wake of violence. The calm facade would come crashing down later, but for now, Y/N appeared almost nonchalant, resting her head on his shoulder, her uninjured hand intertwined with Nesta’s. Rhysand approached, sitting across from them with a grim expression on his face. He seemed to hesitate, as though choosing his words carefully. “That male,” he began, catching Y/N’s attention, “I recognized him from Under the Mountain. I don’t know how… one of them got into Velaris, but we’re going to find out. If there’s any more of her people here, they’ll be found.”
Feyre approached him, resting a hand on his shoulder in comfort. Cassian recognized the darkness swirling in his brother’s eyes, the doubt and shame and deep anger that had lived in him since he returned from Amarantha’s clutches. To have found one of her vermin living in his city, hurting someone who was practically family, no less, was not something he took lightly. He gave his brother a slight nod as if to say ‘I understand’, and Rhysand returned the gesture. A heavy silence hung in the air, and after several heartbeats, Cassian realized Y/N was yet to answer. “Y/N?” he asked, turning to look at her. She was looking down, not at the wound on her hand, but at the blood drying on the front of her dress, blood that was not her own.
“I killed him,” she whispered, beginning to shake once more. “I’m a healer. I’m not supposed to kill people.” 
Before anyone could open their mouth to reassure her, Madja spoke. “Now listen to me, young lady,” the old healer began, placing a firm hand on her knee. She waited patiently for Y/N to make eye contact before continuing. “Your job, as a healer, is to preserve life. You know as well as I do that, sometimes, that involves making hard decisions. You made a call, the right call, to preserve the life of someone good over a murderer. I will not have you faulting yourself for that. Do you understand?” 
Y/N nodded mutely, a few stray tears falling down her cheek. Her mates could tell the matter was not entirely settled, but Madja’s words had brought some degree of comfort. They sat in silence while the healer finished her work, suturing and bandaging her injured hand before moving on to examining Y/N’s ribs. They were indeed bruised, with one cracked but not displaced. She elected not to wrap the injury but left strict instructions to be careful with the area. When she was finished, Cassian lifted Y/N into his arms again, careful not to place pressure on her ribs. “I can walk,” she murmured, resting her head on his shoulder nonetheless. 
“No need,” Cassian replied, ascending the steps towards his and Nesta’s shared bedroom. He paused outside the door, momentarily conflicted. The three of them had made progress in their relationship, and although the thought of being separated from her tormented them both, it occurred to him that sharing a room with them might be an overstep. “This is our room,” he said, not specifying who our encompassed, “but we can bring you to a guest room if you’d prefer.”
“I’d like— I’d prefer not to be alone, right now… if that’s alright,” Y/N replied. 
“That’s more than alright,” Nesta said, opening the door for her mates. Nuala had gone ahead of them, already running a hot bath, and Cassian set her down gently on a bench in the bathing room. 
“I can help you if you need it. Or we can get someone else…” Nesta offered, slightly apprehensive. Y/N blushed, biting her lip as she contemplated her options. 
“I should be able to manage.”
“Call out, if you need us. There’s a nightgown on the vanity that should be your size, if a bit long,” Nesta said, wringing her hands.
“Thank you,” their mate replied, her voice barely a whisper. “To both of you.” 
“No need to thank us,” Cassian said, offering a forced smile from his place in the doorway. “Shout if you need anything.” 
⊱ —————— ❈ —————— ⊰
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