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ikigaisvt · 3 months

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quiet love

in which your boyfriend vernon likes showing his love for you in a quiet way.

pairing: vernon x f!reader words count: 2k content: childhood bestfriends to lovers, fluff, domestic warnings: so soft but very corny, contains pretty common prompts imo, vernon's love language is not words of affirmation lol, implied that kids are mean to vernon, mention of driving, drinking, loss and exes, reader is sick at one point (the flu), a lot of food/eating talk, they are so healthy youre gonna throw up, soooo much physical affection they make me SICK (holding hands, kissing, playing with each other's hairs, hugging etc), babe/baby petnames note: omg im alive?!?!? hiii!! it's been so long since i posted a fic! this one is a birthday gift for the loml @vcrnons <3 happy birthday, u know it all already but don't forget i love u sm!!! i hope you enjoy this childhoodbff!vernon (it's ur thing) who's very very in love but very very shy to say it. hope anyone else who sees this fic enjoy too! don't forget to interact with this if u liked it, rbs are very very very appreciated! thank u<3 (also this was proofread by tired me so if there is any mistakes, ignore it pls thanks <3)

Vernon has always been a man of a few words; when you first met him in elementary school, he was the quiet boy and nothing could get him to speak apart from spinning tops and his favorite cartoons. Still, you decided to befriend that calm boy – at the time, people used to think you were only being nice but deep down you knew: you were making a friend for life.

Going through all of the different steps of childhood and teenage hood with Vernon by your side was an experience – you raised hell together, driving your parents crazy. But it was also having a best friend to experience each other’s every first times: first partners, first time driving, first time getting drunk but also first breakup, first bad haircut and first loss. You have seen each other through everything. No, you have watched over each other through everything; wherever you were, Vernon was standing two steps back, making sure you were always safe. And wherever he was, you were always standing two steps back, making sure he was always loved.

And that’s how you both fell in love. It was slow and secure; falling in love with Vernon was never complicated or painful. It was how things dropped into place and none of you ever denied it; at the time you knew you were meant to be – maybe you always did. And so, you let yourself fall into each other’s arms, a safe place, full of quiet love.

You were 24 years old when Vernon first wanted to tell you he loved you; yet, he didn’t have the courage to fess up. Having spent his whole life showing his love through actions, he had a hard time saying it out loud. After a nice date to the cinema and the restaurant, he drove you back home, small talk and look exchanged during the trip. As soon as he puts the car in park, he reaches out to hold your hand, his thumb drawing circles.

“Had a nice time tonight?” he asks.

“Of course I did,” you answer, a blush creeping on your cheeks, “You know I always do with you,” you add, reaching out to cup his cheek.

“You need to go, you have an early day tomorrow,” he tells you, kissing your palm.

“Yeah, I’m going,” you say as you reach down for your bag and open the door, “Let me know when you’re home, okay?”

“Of course,” he says as he holds your face between his hand, “You do the same,” he adds against your lips before kissing you softly.

“It’s literally two steps away, I’m already home,” you chuckle as you exit the car.

“Won’t leave until I get the text, babe,” he smiles as he leans over the center console to look at you.

You roll your eyes sarcastically at him but still, your lips go up into a smile as your cheeks reddens from the way he so apologetically loves and cares for you. This boy would do anything to make sure you see how much he adores you. So, you wave him goodbye and it’s only when you close your front door and his phone buzzes with an i’m home :) drive safe, text me xx that you hear him drive off.

The second time he almost confessed to loving you was when you were 25. You had just gotten over an awful flu that got you bed ridden for days, unable to go on with your schedule as you normally would. You were sleeping the sickness off for hours on end, only waking up when Vernon knocked on your door to check up on you. Honestly, he knew it was only the flu, but he was so scared for you; in his eyes, you always appeared as the strongest women on earth so seeing you so weak and tired pulled at his heartstrings. He thought about confessing his undying love as you were blowing your nose – maybe it will magically heal her, he thought one night. But deep down he knew you needed someone to help you out physically and so, he did. He had taken such good care of you; he kept your home clean, did the laundry and helped you out to the shower if needed. He had thought about doing the cooking but he knew his poor skills wouldn’t get you to eat at all. So, even if you couldn’t finish your plates, he had ordered your favorite meals all week, even if he didn’t really like some of those.

It's been a few days since you last had a fever, so even if you were still blowing your nose and coughing a little bit, you could still get out of bed and hang out with Vernon. You two decided to have an at-home date, ordering your favorite meals and watching the show you recently started together. Since you were less sick you could finally finish your plate and eat more than usual; even after finishing your food, your stomach was still grumbling.

“I’m still hungry,” you whisper to yourself, not thinking Vernon would hear you.

“Yeah?” he asks, still looking at the TV as he holds a spoon full of food in the air, “Want a bite?” he says as he looks at you.

“Is that okay?” you ask, not wanting to take away his favorite food. Even when you were sick, you saw how Vernon only ordered your favorite foods – he deserved to have every bite of his favorite dish.

“Of course it is!” he smiles at you, extending his spoon in front of you, “You like it?” he asks, waiting for your nods of approval.

You nod enthusiastically, giving him a thumbs up with a smile, “That’s so good!” you exclaim before Vernon reaches for your plate. You look at him, wondering what he is up to before you see him fill your empty plate with more than half of his meal, “No, no, no,” you say, trying to reach for it as Vernon puts it out of reach from you.

“You need to eat, babe,” he says as he puts the dish on your lap, “Go on,” he smiles, patting your head before turning his attention back to his almost finished meal and the tv.

You smile down, cheeks red from your boyfriend’s attention. You notice how he gave you the tastier part of his dish – meat, veggies and a lot of gravy with a good amount of rice – and he kept most of the rice and only a piece of meat for himself. You start to eat happily, re-adjusting your position on the sofa to be closer to him. It might have been a year and a half since you started dating with no I love you’s said, but you know this is how he shows he loves you. And that is enough for you – it will always be.

It's now been two years since you started dating Vernon; you’re 26 years old, living with your boyfriend, your two cats and waking up every day with the love of your life next to you. Life is beautiful and you could not ask for more. To celebrate your anniversary with Vernon, you planned a trip to your hometown - only a 1 hour-drive from home – so you can have your date where you first kissed: at the cinema. If someone told Vernon he would one day ignore a movie to give his attention to a human being, he would have laughed at their face. But here he is. Countless of movies and shows watched with you right there, next to him, and yet you always steal his gaze away from the screen. You are just so beautiful, he thinks to himself. And when he sees you, laughing at a stupid joke from a character, he smiles with you. Not because the joke is funny, no, but because he cannot watch you without his heart filling up and his feelings pouring out onto his lips. He knew since he woke up that day, on your 2 years anniversary, that he would say it. It had been on the tip of his tongue since the first time he saw you in elementary school, smiling at everyone and saving bugs, but he always held it back. He thought it would be too soon, too fast, too much – but how can love ever be those things? he realized recently. He had said I love you a thousand times already through his actions, he had said he loved you out loud to his friends, his family, his cats. He thought now was the time you should hear it. So, all day, his head was in the clouds, thinking how to bring this up, how to say I’m in love with you to his soulmate. It happens when you pull him into your apartment at 1 am, your anniversary already over. You both get rid of your shoes, the tiredness of the day finally falling on your shoulders, before you pull him into you for a hug. Your arms stay at his waist, his heart going thump, thump, thump against yours as his cheek rest on the crown of your head.

“Gonna let you go to sleep,” you mumble against his shirt before letting him go, “I’m gonna shower.”

“Hey- babe,” he says softly to get your attention, his hand wrapping around your wrist, “need to tell you something,” he tells you as you’re pulled back against his chest, hands on his front as one of his rest on your waist, the other one covering your cheek.

“Everything’s okay?” you ask, rubbing circle on the fabric of his shirt.

“Yeah, everything’s good,” he whispers, his eyes going down to look at your lips and up again, “You’re pretty,” he speaks under his breath, a blush making its way on your cheeks – and his.

“Thank you,” you smile as you reach for his neck, pulling him down for a kiss, “You’re not so bad yourself,” you whisper against his lips.

He holds onto your cheeks, your foreheads resting against each other, “I love you,” he murmurs so low you think you made it up but as you open your eyes and see tears in his own, you know this is nothing but real life.

“Oh,” you gasp softly, taken aback, “I love you too,” you say, smiling up at the love of your life.

“I know this was long overdue and I’m sorry it took me so long-“ he starts to babble, uneasiness bubbling in his chest before you cut him off with a kiss.

“It’s okay,” you whisper, playing with the hair at his nape, “To me, you’ve said it a thousand times,” you reassure him as he blushes, chuckling softly at how you always find the right words for him, “But a thousand more wouldn’t hurt,” you tease slightly, making him snort.

“I love you,” he repeats, his arms wrapping around your shoulders as yours find a resting place at his waist, rubbing his back over his shirt.

“Again,” you say with a smile in your voice before kissing his chest in an I love you too.

“I love you,” he says against your hair, his hands making its way under the straps of your dress.

“Again,” you ask him, never getting enough of these words flowing out of his lips.

“I love you,” he whispers against the shell of your ear, leaving a kiss behind, “so much.”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing this,” you whisper, your hands meeting the end of his shirt, “I love you,” you say as you touch his bare back.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he says like a mantra, “I’d unlearn any other words so all you could hear is my love for you,” he whispers, his eyes meeting yours, before your lips collide – just like your worlds did so many years ago.

You’ve always found reassurance in this quiet love you and Vernon were giving each other – but maybe you liked your love being a little louder sometimes.

thank u for reading! hope you enjoyed hehe <3

#sammy's works #j<3 #seventeen 💌#seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen reactions #seventeen fluff #svt scenarios #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt reactions #svt fluff #vernon scenarios #vernon x reader #vernon imagines #vernon fluff

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kazzattack · 2 months

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I Can Be All You Need.

jason todd x fem!reader, poorly proofread (sorry), implied plus sized!reader for like 2 seconds, suggestive for like 2 seconds, mentions of food, regular mall stuff, jason’s a bit of a lover boy (and a foodie) (and a wonder woman fanboy)

a/n — hey! so this is technically my first fluffy fic. short n cute trip to the mall with jay. it’s kinda short but i was excited to share this :) i hope it’s cute and i hope you enjoy, tysm for reading <3

so you dragged jason todd to the mall with you. he’s all grumpy and huffin’ n’ puffin’ but he knows he’d rather be with you than anywhere else without you. he’d go to hell and back for you actually, with or without. jason enjoys keeping you safe, even if there’s no immediate threat. he finds comfort in being your partner for these trips; he likes to think of himself as your bodyguard, even. you’re attached to his arm and he’s right by your side, towering over you, ensuring there’s no room to mistake you as anything other than his- though he prefers to look at himself as yours.

let’s keep it real, you’re definitely there to blow all your money because there’s nothing nicer than dating someone with a connection to bruce wayne. not to be reckless, but it’s a huge weight off your shoulders at the very least. through this you learn that jason’s also not the type to go crazy over buying new stuff. out of habit he easily survives with the same clothes he’s had since his last growth spurt. hence why you’ve forced him to the men’s section of… whatever store you just wandered in to. poor guy doesn’t get much of a say in what gets thrown at him to hold. it is stuff for him, so it only makes sense for him to hold it.

“oh, you’d make these look real good,” you mutter and he arches his brow at you after catching whatever the hell you just tossed at him. “what was that?” he’d feed into your mischief with a grin when you quickly brush off your statement.

once you’re pleased with what you both have, you’re tugging at his leather jacket and point at the dressing rooms. he simply huffs out a laugh, looking at the amount of shit you have. he can’t be too upset over it, though; watching you get dressed is honestly one of his favorite pastimes. it’s abundantly clear, too. he spends the whole time ogling the way your thighs fill out that satin red dress he helped you choose, sports a boyish smirk at the way you fight with a too-small bra, and you’re prying the man off your skin when he grips your hips and kisses at your neck once you try on the one set of lingerie he didn’t catch you grab earlier. a good hour or two later and he begrudgingly walking you out of the store, though he’s relieved he got away with not trying on all the stuff you threw at him.

and despite the demeanor he’s got due to overwhelming height and muscle, jason can’t help the little green twinkle in his eye when you two stop by a shop dedicated to the justice league. he’s not a big nerd or anything, but… a little browse of wonder woman’s merchandise isn’t hurting anyone. he has half a mind to buy poster of batsie, just to dedicate it to throwing darts and knives right at the stupid pointy eared prick for shits and giggles, but the last thing he wants to do is waste money on him when the mug with his favorite’s logo on it is a much better purchase.

for a split second, jason is the cutest. watching your big scary biker boyfriend sport a wide and toothy grin at the idea of waking up to you and a warm cup of coffee, sun shining through streams of steam and making the golden glow of the logo shine even more; the idea makes him all soft, and even though he’s good at hiding it from others, you can all but see the butterflies in his stomach.

“you’ve gotta eat now,” you singsong by his side, tugging him to a map so you can point out where to go. you’re yanked back in the opposite direction, though, with zero effort when he’s simply stopped moving. you’re arm’s hooked around his, pinching at the leather of his jacket. “what-“

“it’s over there,” he states.

“how do you-“

“because i saw it. i’ve got an eye for food, y’know.” right. because he’s your personal bloodhound, practically sniffing out the baked goods before they’re even mentioned. now it’s his turn to drag you around, like the food court is his designated area; he’s telling you about how he’d prefer to make the food himself, even though it’s ‘not that bad.’ they could’ve made the sauce a little better. and christ, he hates when he can tell the stuff’s overcooked, even by a mere few minutes. jason just knows he’d make it better, and you do too. better yet, it’d benefit everyone to hand the recipes over to alfred.

once you two have called alfred, letting him know you’ve had a successful trip, you make your way back to the entrance. you put on a cheery voice as you speak to the old man, all about jason’s good behavior and lack of harm done to anything in the vicinity. you snicker and your man scoffs at you, rolling his eyes.

on the way, though, a jeweler catches jason’s attention- or more so all the pretty jewels. he tells you to go on, he’ll be right out, still eyeballing the jewelry with a stare intense enough to make the seller uneasy. he’s almost reluctant to admit it, but just the sight of the rings on display reminds him of you. it’s got his heart pumping again, face a little tingly, same twinkle in his eyes that you’ve only ever seen a few times. he needs the best band; not the one with the biggest diamond or the shiniest metal- but one that’d speak to you. both of you.

“jason!”

“yeah- coming!”

he needs more time, anyway. more time and real jewelry to choose from, he notes. jason todd feels like he’s waited his whole life for you, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get to properly devote himself to you with the best ring he could possibly find. most of all- he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get to be all you’ll ever need, just as you’re all he needs.

#jt <3 #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x you #jason todd drabble #jason todd imagine #jason todd #red hood x reader #red hood #red hood x fem!reader #red hood imagine

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starvi-boi · 1 month

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yall asked me how i did it so here we go:

first of all, if you dont struggle with an ed or are in recovery than dont interact or read this. i am pro recovery for everyone except myself. stay safe everyone!!

my situation:

im 167 cm tall

i started at 67.7kgs and now im 43kgs, (bmi 24.3 -> 15.4)

i live with my parents and they after two months noticed and now they watch what i eat

it took me around 5 months but during 2 of them i was just maintaining because of miscalculations and binges

1) meals:

i do omads, its really effective, keep it around 350 - 900 cals a day, i used to fast for few days every now and then but omads work wonders

heres how my week looks:

mon: 400-700

tue: 400-800

wen: 400-600

thu: 350-650

fri: 400-800

sat: 900-1200

sun: 850-1250

omading dinner works quite well and so does omading breakfast, but i prefer dinners, i can keep my morning skinny all day and i dont have to walk outside being bloated af

2) exercise:

i do around 5 hours climbing a week, after 3 months i added a 20 minute workout every day that i dont climb, also sometimes i spent whole days climbing on rocks outside

i also have 2 hours of pe a week

i try to get at least 5k steps, mostly i get around 6k a day

im not a try hard in exercise, sometimes i go inline skating but its for fun

i dont distract burnt cals from the days total. i dont.

3) pürging:

i used to pürge anything that was over 500 cals, but it was useless, dont do it, its not helping, i did this only the first 2 months because of guilt

4) binging:

before i began eating less, i used to binge like 4 times a week (around 4k cals), it used to be my coping mechanism

at first i didnt binge at all, i didnt eat because of guilt, i hated food

lately ive been binging on low-cal stuff which is bad, but at least its not as high cal (i actually crave low-cal things), but now i tell myself this: 'enjoy the emptiness, nothing can fill in the void inside, especially not food' and it has helped a lot

but im not rlly sure what to do about it- it just sometimes happens

5) weight ins:

i do them everyday in the evening before dinner, i dont drink water during the day (dont do this, i forget to drink and am used to that, stay hydrated), which makes me not want to eat because id gain the food and water weight, if i knew i was having two meals id weight in in the morning

6) metab days:

since i live with my parents who now check on me, i do them on weekends - both days, i mostly binge on those days (sometimes even 3k cals) lol

i aim for 900-1100 cals on them because on other days i try to restrict as much as possible and my bmr is around 1200

even though they seem scary, theyre very much needed!!

7) rituals:

i dont snack, only gum - it works amazing (i go through like 30 a day :'))

i always plan my cals for the day in the morning and always add in the food before eating it

i spend a lot of time on edblr and edtwt and edtt, motivating

i always have an emergency snack on me and water, im allowed to eat it if im too dizzy or too weak

8) my tips:

never eat alone. never.

eat only at the table - it makes it really annoying to sit there while eating which makes me not wanna eat

romanticize hunger (not the best but ykyk), be a good ana, be pure, be pretty

wear layers, youre gonna be freezing all the time

vaping/smoking can help if youre already into it, dont start with it just because i said it might work

be patient.

skip any meal you can, fake eating, empty packages, hiding food in clothes, taking in to your room, dirty plates, sitting and staring at an empty cup licking the clean spoon over and over as if the cup was full so you seem like youre eating... anything

dont obsess over food, obsess over being skinny and over fasting!!

dont eat more than 2 meals a day

prepare your own food so you can calculate it right

high volume low cal stuff and high protein stuff are your new best friends (lettuce, peppers, cucumbers, pickles, rice cakes, tomatoes, melons, coldfish, chicken breasts, cottage cheese)

warm water fills you up, so does coffee and tea

be nice to yourself, reward yourself when you do good, make it a game - points for being good -> rewards you can buy with your points, when you mess up you have to extract few points

take it slow, one day at a time or one week at a time, you have plenty of time, messing up is okay (one binge doesnt make you fat just as one fast doesnt make you skinny, but doing it repeatedly will)

if youre getting weak -> increase your cals, its better to get your energy back but maintain for few weeks than it is to be weak and passing out

9) do what works for you

i cant do longer fasts because of my family, just because this worked for me doesnt mean its gonna work for you, find what you can do and stick with it

i really suck at portion control so i omad, its way easier for me to not eat than to eat small amounts through out the day

thats it for now!! thanks for reading, if i think of something more ill write it down!!

#i will be a skeleton #i will be weightless #i will reach my ugw #edmeme #i hate calories #starv3 #unhealthy weight loss #lose weight fast #anatips #ana #tw ana trigger #tw ana diary #ana advice #ana tips #unhealthy diet

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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 11 months

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Note: every day is halloween I guess

Part 7 of the Halloween fic, direct follow up to part 6.

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

Warnings: 18+, suggestive, mention of bdsm activities, horror, fright, assault, death.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

Summary: Skade had cursed you, but would you and Sihtric find out in time?

Word count: 4,1k

Masterlist

'Do you want to blindfold me?'

****************

Day 1.

'Little bat!' Sihtric shouted, panicked as he ran down his stairs, 'my love, what was that sound! What happened?'

Sihtric was rudely awoken at dawn by an awfully loud crashing sound he couldn't place, and he immediately noticed you weren't next to him in bed anymore. He had hastily put on his black satin robe, covering up his bare body, before he ran down the stairs where the noise seemingly came from.

Sihtric found you in his living room, on the floor, dressed in one of his large black shirts, surrounded by broken glass as his large chandelier had somehow fallen down from the ceiling, missing you by inches.

'Darling!' Sihtric exclaimed, completely bewildered. He ran to you, carefully picking you up in his arms and carrying you away from the broken glass, which was scattered throughout the entire room. He cautiously stepped barefooted through the mess and brought you to his kitchen, where he sat you down on a chair.

'What happened?' Sihtric cupped your cheeks after he crouched down in front of you, 'are you hurt?' his eyes darted over your body.

'No,' you said, spooked and deprived of colour, 'I- I had a nightmare. I couldn't fall asleep anymore and I didn't want to wake you. So I- I went downstairs to get some water and- and,' your voice trembled, 't-the chandelier just f-fell down as I… as I walked under and… and,' you let out a sudden sob and started to cry, knowing very well that the gigantic chandelier would have killed you if you had been underneath it a split second later.

'Oh, my angel,' Sihtric sighed and he pulled you in his arms, holding you tight against his chest, 'I'm so sorry. I don't understand how that could happen. It's been on the ceiling for years.'

'It's not your fault, babe,' you sniffled, 'and I'm fine, just spooked is all.'

'Naturally, that thing would've-,' he swallowed his words quickly, 'but you're safe,' Sihtric kissed your face all over, 'you're safe, little bat.'

'I'm sorry,' you whispered.

'Sorry for what?' he took your chin and lifted your face up to meet his eyes.

'That chandelier must have cost a fortune…'

Sihtric clicked his tongue and sighed. 'It is nowhere near as valuable as you are, my darkness,' he said and kissed your forehead, 'I will clean the mess up later. It is still early, my love, will you join me back in bed?'

You nodded and Sihtric dried your tears. Then he picked you up in his arms again and carried you up the stairs, back to his bed. Sihtric slid out of his robe after you had taken off his shirt, and he pulled your naked body close against his, pecking your skin softly all over, wanting to make you forget the terrifying encounter you just had.

'Next time you have a nightmare, just wake me up,' he whispered in your ear.

******************

You'd spend the whole day in bed, just cuddling and talking. And later, at night, when you had fallen asleep after Sihtric had ordered some food, he went downstairs to clean everything up and to fix whatever needed to be fixed. And before he went upstairs again, to join you in bed, he paced around his living room for minutes. He swore he heard a voice coming from the fireplace, but whenever he neared it, there was nothing to be heard.

Then he remembered your story about the veil between the worlds being thin during this time of the year. He figured it was just his imagination, or a ghost trying to have some fun by scaring him, so he shrugged it off and went to bed.

Day 2.

Sihtric liked to have early breakfast with you, only to then drag you back to bed again. Just to cuddle, until you either fell asleep in his arms or broke out of his embrace to start the day. But as you had no plans today, you stayed in his arms, much to Sihtric's delight, and he was glad to see you had more or less forgotten about the incident yesterday morning.

'Would you like me to show you how to chain me up?' Sihtric asked, just before sunrise.

'What?' you giggled and turned to face him, your hands searching for his body underneath the sheets, 'where? In your basement?'

'Here,' Sihtric smiled and looked up to the headboard, humming when he felt your hands on his bare chest.

You followed his gaze and saw several metal rings attached to the headboard, which blended in just right, you would've never noticed them if he didn't flick one with his finger.

'Oh, god,' you laughed, 'I didn't even see those.'

'Good. Because you shouldn't at first glance,' Sihtric kissed your cheek.

'Well done,' you said, 'but, sure, you could show me.'

Sihtric smiled and trailed his fingertips down your throat before he got up out of bed. He kneeled next to the bed and you heard how he loudly dragged something over the floor, out from underneath the bed. You sat up to see Sihtric open a large metal box, out of which he took a large metal chain and a few padlocks. You gasped softly with a smile as you watched him climb back in bed, and he smiled at your nervous yet excited expression.

'Here,' Sihtric said, handing you the chain, 'hold it, get familiar with the feel and weight of it.'

'Shit, that's pretty heavy,' you said, feeling the cold metal in your hands, 'you don't hurt yourself with this?'

'It leaves me with a couple of bruises, yes. So I wouldn't tie you up with this the first few times, I'd use rope for you,' he smiled sweetly, 'it's safer to begin with.'

'Why don't you use rope for yourself?' you frowned.

'Because it's safer,' Sihtric chuckled, 'it's easy for me to accidentally break out of.'

'You really are something, Sihtric,' you smiled and shook your head lightly.

Sihtric grinned but said nothing, instead he took the chains out of your hands and pulled it through the metal hoops attached to the bed's headboard. The sound of the metal chain sliding through them gave you goosebumps.

'You like that sound, sweet thing?' Sihtric smirked, seeing your hair stand on edge. You shrugged lightly and grabbed a pillow, hugging it while hiding half of your face. Sihtric chuckled, 'no need to hide. The sound arouses me too.'

You felt your cheeks heat up more and simply avoided Sihtric's glare.

'Okay,' Sihtric said and leaned back next to you, having a good view of the headboard, 'I pulled the chain through the rings now, but if you look closely you can see there are a few hooks on the headboard too.'

'Mhm,' you hummed, suddenly seeing the hooks.

'You can also just hook the chain on one of those, they are positioned higher, so they should be used if you'd want to chain my hands above my head.'

Sihtric smiled slyly and looked at you while you tried to hide your smile, but your face betrayed you, and Sihtric knew you were imagining it already.

'You like that thought?' he teased.

'Perhaps,' you shrugged before you smiled at him.

'Good,' Sihtric said and leaned in to kiss you, 'because I like that thought too. However,' he continued, 'the rings are positioned lower and further apart, so they should be used to chain me up… like the Christian god,' Sihtric winked and spread his arms, making you laugh before he pulled you in for another kiss.

'And what do you prefer?' you smiled against his lips.

'Whichever way you prefer to see me in,' he flicked his tongue against your lips and chuckled softly, his warm hands trailing gently over the sides of your torso as he allowed you to think on it.

You decided to go with rings, as he already had pulled the chain through it. Sihtric smiled and sat back against the headboard, beckoning you over.

'Take the chain,' he told you and held his hand out to you, 'hold my wrist and loop the chain around my wrist and your fingers.'

'Why with my fingers?' you asked as you fumbled with the chain.

'After you pull your hand away,' Sihtric said as he watched you, 'there's some space. It should never be wrapped too tightly. It's easy to get your skin pinched, and that hurts like a bitch,' he laughed, 'and metal chains are obviously not as flexible as rope or leather, so you have to be careful.'

He watched you with loving eyes as you hummed in understanding. You pulled your hand away from his wrist, and Sihtric moved his chained up arm, checking the tightness, and he hummed agreeably.

'Feels good. You're a natural,' he smiled, 'now you take a padlock and lock the chain,' Sihtric was carefully watching you now, 'are you okay? Does this still feel good for you to do, sweet thing?'

'Yeah,' you smiled softly, after you secured the lock, and you cupped his cheeks, 'you are so wildly arousing, Sihtric,' you said and kissed him deeply.

'Oh, my love,' Sihtric moaned softly, 'you bring out the beast in me, my shadow.'

He leaned in when you pulled away, and you tauntingly tugged the loose end of the metal chain, forcing Sihtric back against the headboard as his arm was yanked back.

'You devilish creature,' he smiled at your sudden dominance, 'I love you, eternally, my wicked lady.'

'And I love you eternally too,' you leaned in, brushing your lips against his, 'my little demon.'

And just when Sihtric wanted to kiss your lips again, you pulled back, making him groan.

'My queen,' he whined, 'one more kiss? Please?'

'No.'

You grinned and took his other hand, carefully wrapping and locking the chain around his wrist, the same way as you did to his other, and then you sat back. You smiled at the sight of Sihtric sitting back against the headboard, completely relaxed with his arms wide, chained up, and he gave you a sly smile.

'You like what you see?'

'I love what I see,' you smiled, 'so… now what? A chain around your neck?'

'Oh,' Sihtric laughed wickedly, 'you want to collar and leash me, princess?'

'Are you into that?'

'Yeah, I think it's pretty hot,' he smiled and licked his lips, 'but we'll do that another day.'

Sihtric hummed softly as he went over his thoughts, 'do you want to blindfold me?' he asked.

A sudden heat grew in your core and you felt a little lightheaded at his words. You agreed and Sihtric told you to look in his nightstand drawer.

'You can take my dagger too, if you wish.'

'Your dagger? But… I- I will not cut you, Sihtric. You haven't taught me-'

'No, my love, I am not asking you to cut me,' he chuckled, 'but just take the dagger,' he said sweetly, and you did as he asked.

You moved up to straddle his lap, feeling he was incredibly aroused, which pleased you. And Sihtric looked up at you with big eyes, pupils blown wide once again as he watched you with hunger. He licked his lips when you leaned in, bringing the blindfold up to his face.

'Wait,' Sihtric suddenly said, 'wait.'

'Are you okay?' you asked, a little started and you took his face in your hands, 'Sihtric?'

'Yes. Yes, my love,' he smiled, 'I just…' he breathed heavily as his eyes darted over your body, 'I just wanted another good look at your beauty before you blindfold me.'

'Sihtric,' you sighed, smiling, 'you know you don't have to be blindfolded.'

'I know… but I like it,' he whispered, 'give me one more kiss before you cover my eyes is all I ask.'

You giggled softly, 'the things you make me feel,' you pecked his lips, 'the things you make me do,' you nuzzled his nose, 'no one else could ever do that.'

'Good,' Sihtric hummed, 'because no one else is allowed to, my goddess.'

You kissed his lips once more and blindfolded him. You leaned back and took in the view of his muscular body, completely surrendered to you, just like you had imagined when he first told you about enjoying being chained up. You leaned in again and kissed your way down from his shoulder to his waist, earning soft hums and light chuckles from Sihtric as you did.

'Take the blade, my love,' Sihtric breathed.

'What do you want me to do with it?' You looked at the dagger in your hand.

'Remember what I taught you?' his voice calm, 'I'd like it if you'd do that right now.'

You felt a little nervous when you brought the dagger up to his throat, like you had done during your first night with him, pressing the cold blade against his skin. Sihtric exhaled sharply upon feeling the cool steel and he licked his lips. He bared his teeth to you, breathing hard and fast as he awaited your next move.

'My life,' he breathed, 'your choice, my angel.'

You felt immediately aroused again at his words, knowing he trusted you with his life. He trusted you to hold a blade against his throat while he was chained up and blindfolded, dressed in nothing but his boxers and no way of defending himself.

'You are my life,' you whispered, and slowly, carefully, dragged the blade down his throat.

'Ohh, fuck,' Sihtric moaned, making you feel his hardness twitch in his underwear as you straddled him. He flexed his toned arms, hissing at the feeling of the metal chains restraining him.

'Again,' Sihtric said with ragged breath, 'do it again, my love, please. Add a little more pressure.'

'Sihtric…' you said, looking at your trembling hands.

'Do it!' he said darkly.

'N-no,' you said quietly, 'I… I don't … I- I don't want to.'

Sihtric groaned softly and bit down on his lip, trying to compose himself.

'Okay,' he said, still breathing hard, 'then again, just the same as you did before.'

You suddenly felt insecure. Something felt wrong. A sudden dread lingered in the air, and it didn't feel right.

'N-no,' you said, putting the dagger aside, 'I want to stop.'

Sihtric heard the faintest tremble in your voice and moved up quickly, wanting to take you in his arms, but he got slammed back against the headboard by the chains.

'Baby? My love! Are you okay?' he asked, panic in his voice, 'take off the blindfold.'

You tore the fabric away from his eyes and his heart broke when he saw your frightened face.

'Hey, it's okay,' he said, 'you don't ever have to do anything you don't want, okay? What… What happened? Was I too much? W-was it my tone? I'm sorry-'

'No,' you shook your head, reaching for the keys on his nightstand to open the padlocks, 'it's not you, I just… I feel… I feel off. It happened suddenly.'

You were quick to free his right wrist, and he immediately took your chin, gently but firmly, and he brought you close to his face, hushing you with a quick kiss.

'What is it? What do you feel?'

'I- I don't know, it feels like… like…'

Sihtric watched you, cautiously, seeing your body tense up in front of him.

'What?' he asked again, concerned. His brows furrowed.

'Like… something's here,' you whispered, and a tear rolled down your cheek.

Sihtric's concern left his face and he became emotionless as he swallowed hard.

'Honey,' he said quietly, 'hand me the key.'

'Sihtric…'

'Hand me the key, I said. Now,' he spoke calmly, but his eyes screamed with terror.

Sihtric held out his hand, and as soon as you dropped the key in his hand, you were violently yanked backwards by your hair. Then you felt a harsh grip on your arm as you were dragged out of his bed.

'No!' Sihtric shouted, trying to unchain himself as quickly as he could.

But his hands were trembling, and he fought with the lock as he watched how you were dragged away from him. You desperately screamed out his name while your hands tried to hold onto anything you came across as you were dragged over the floor, by your ankle, out of his bedroom. You managed to turn around as you tried to kick at whoever had their hands on your ankle, and you screamed in terror when you found no one there. The invisible force yanked you towards the large stairs, and threw you off harshly, just before Sihtric came running out of the bedroom. You hit your head on the floor, becoming dizzy, but still conscious. You vaguely saw Sihtric storm down the stairs while something continued to drag you over the floor, into the living room, where you had barely escaped death yesterday, after the chandelier had fallen down.

'Show yourself!' Sihtric shouted hoarsely as he stormed into the living room.

Huge flames suddenly erupted from the fireplace in the centre, and your body was shoved hard against the cabinet with Sihtric's tiny skull collection, which landed on and around you, while books and picture frames fell down from shelves and walls all around the living room.

Sihtric ran over to you, but was shoved back by the same invisible force that had dragged you down, and he stumbled backwards over the coffee table. Your vision was blurred, but you saw Sihtric get back up on his feet, and he clapped his hands together once, loud. So loud it hurt your ears and you thought it was not humanly possible.

'Show yourself!' Sihtric shouted again, towards the flames, his voice dominated over the noise of rattling furniture, and suddenly you heard him laugh.

'So we meet again,' he spat, 'you piece of weaselshit.'

You followed his eyes, but you saw nothing except for the flames he was staring at.

'Who invoked you?' he asked, stepping closer. And you were terrified he was going to be swallowed by the flames.

'Lucifer!' Sihtric shouted, clapping his hands together again with a brute force.

He glared into the flames in the firepit, and when they didn't die down, he clapped his hands together once more, a third time, with a deafening sound.

'Lucifer!' Sihtric growled, 'be our protection against the wickedness and snares of your servant. Rebuke this vile spirit, king of Hell, or with the power of God, I will send your soldier into the light!'

Sihtric breathed hard and waited a moment, as if for a reply, and then he shouted, 'Lucifer! You owe me one! Pick up your wandering spawn before I send him straight into Heaven!'

The flames grew bigger, brighter and hotter. You were on the opposite side of the room but you felt the fire burn on your skin, and you were sure Sihtric would be burned alive as he just stood there, staring into the huge, wild flames, merely two paces away from where the spontaneous combustion had happened.

'Fine by me,' Sihtric taunted and rubbed his hands together, creating friction, 'Asmodeus,' he shouted and kneeled down, holding his hands up to the fire, 'Most glorious Prince of the Heavenly Armies, Saint Michael, defend us against the rulers of this world of darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in high places!'

You watched another huge flame erupt, and you were convinced it had burned Sihtric, but he didn't flinch or move away.

'Redeem this soldier of Satan and lead him into the light!' he continued, his voice hoarse but strong, 'take hold of the dragon, the old serpent, who is a child of the devil and Satan.'

The floor shook beneath you and you covered your head, a pathetic attempt to protect yourself while being fearful that the whole ceiling was about to break down. The roaring fire, Sihtric commands, the rattling and howling of everything around you was deafening and overwhelming.

'Bind him and cast him into the light!' Sihtric shouted and stood up, bringing his hands to his bare, sweaty chest, 'in the name of the Father!' He brought one hand up to his forehead, 'and of the Son!' he continued, bringing his hand back to his chest, 'and of the Holy Spirit,' he touched his left shoulder and brought his hand to his right shoulder, 'Ame-'

'The witch's curse,' a terrifying hiss echoed through the room before Sihtric could finish his words, and he was suddenly pushed back again by the invincible force. Shoving Sihtric, the carpet, the coffee table and the couch all back towards the wall on your right, with a loud crash.

'Her life, for your lust,' the faceless voice hissed as the flames erupted even higher, 'three days.'

Then, just as abruptly as the fire had appeared, it disappeared, and the noises as well as the shaking all stopped at once.

'My love,' Sihtric said with a raspy voice and ragged breath, crawling over to you through broken picture frames, torn books and shattered glass. He sat back against the wall, pulled you in his arms, weakly, and you clung onto him tightly. Sihtric closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall while you cried in his arms.

You figured there was a lot you didn't know about Sihtric yet, but now was not the time for questions.

*******************

Day 2, 9:30pm.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes!' you said, pacing around Sihtric's library.

Yes, the man had a library. An actual huge, full on library, behind a false wall with a movable cabinet in front of it , because why the hell not. He was already living your gothic horror novel dream anyway. So, naturally, he had a hidden library full of occult books and items in his house.

'It all adds up,' you continued as Sihtric followed you around with his eyes, 'Skade! A witch, a curse, three days, the chandelier falling down, the attack earlier today. It's the Three Nights Of Hell curse.'

Sihtric sighed and rubbed his eyes.

'Baby,' he tried to find the right words but failed, 'what?'

'It's a curse, Sihtric,' you said and took his hands, crouching down in front of him as he sat on a dark, leather couch, 'it's a curse to bring death upon an enemy. She clearly is in love with you, or something like it. You heard the words yourself, my life for your lust. And you told me you spoke to Asmodeus in the flames, and he represents lust. Skade wants to kill me, and when my soul is claimed, you will simply fall in love with her with the snap of her fingers.'

'Fuck no,' Sihtric grimaced, 'I ain't touching her again!'

'Oh, sweetie,' you mocked, 'you have no idea how love spells work.'

'What?'

'Look, Skade is just trying to win you over. Whatever it takes.' You shrugged and kissed his hands.

'I know about curses, but,' Sihtric sighed, 'I have never heard of this one. I… I don't know how to stop this or if we even can stop it. Going through my books will take hours. Hours we don't have,' his voice began to tremble, 'I- I can't lose you, but I don't know what to do.'

'But we are safe here, right?'

'Yes,' Sihtric said, trying to keep his calm, 'I swear. There are sigils, runes and traps everywhere in this room. If you mean any harm in a spiritual way, you will not get in here without going up in flames. But I don't know what else Skade has been invoking, or how this curse is supposed to continue. My love, we don't have much time…'

He cupped your cheeks and leaned his forehead against yours.

'If I give my life, it has to break the curse, right? She won't be able to have my lust if I'm not alive anymore.'

'Sihtric, no!' you squeezed his shoulders, 'you will not give your life-'

'I will give my life for you when I have to,' he said sternly.

'No! I will not allow it,' you hissed, 'stop saying such foolish things. I would rather die than have you giving your life for me.'

'And how do you think I feel?' Sihtric smiled weakly, 'if you die… you allow me to live. To live without you. And that is a life I do not want.'

'Listen,' you pecked his lips quickly, 'I will break the curse, you have to trust me.'

'But how?'

'There is a way,' you said, 'but I will need a mirror, white candles, some rosemary, incense and something that belonged to her. Can you get me that before midnight?'

Sihtric nodded quickly. 'Yes, my queen,' he said, and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

*****************

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @heimtathurs @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @chompchompluke @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie

[DM to be added to/removed from taglist! & don’t be shy to like, reblog & comment!🖤]

#modern!sihtric #sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric fic #sihtric #tlk #the last kingdom fic #the last kingdom

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bbyurnogoodforme · 9 months

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Some of my safe foods/meals just for myself to keep track of!

Popcorn! Air popped without any butter or salt is around 30 cals per cup! unseasoned popcorn just tastes better than popcorn with butter imo <3

Sugar free gum bc duh! I really like the watermelon flavored gums cuz they taste soso good and they fill my sweet tooth!

These low cal cookies! 50 cals each, love baking these and pairing them with black coffee <3

Cauliflower rice! 27 cals per cup, and super filling! I dont usually eat it by itself, I like to mix it with some protein or veggies!

Rice cakes bc you know the drill, 35 cals each yum yum, I usually pair plain rice cakes with greek yogurt and a few of these stevia-sweetened dark chocolate chips!

Diet Arizona Green Tea! Tbh just any diet drinks, but this ones a personal fan fav! 0 cals, as all drinks should be <3

Shirataki noodles! Tons of fiber, only 5 cals, and filling! Make sure to look up a good way to prep them! I usually boil and stir fry them before eating them!

Boiled eggs! 78 cals each, but still super good for you <3

Teas, teas, and more teas! Theres a tea for everything from metabolism speeding to sleep aid, drink some tea!

Greek Yogurt! This isn't a revelation I've figured out by myself ofc but still! 100 cals per cup, and super healthy! Plus its a great substitute in a lot of cooking!!!!

Canaloupe! 19 calories for a WHOLE wedge! A whole medium sized canaloupe is 180 cals!

Pickles! 7 cals each and suuuuper yummy imo <3 cucumbers are also a major safe food of mine I have them almost every day for a snack!

Soup!!!!! Tomato soup has around 80-100 cals for a whole bowl and its so yummy imo!!!!

Casabella peppers! (yall know those little peppers at in-n-out?) 10 cals each, literally any peppers are my favs, but my friends love to go to in-n-out together with me and I always love getting a diet coke and some casabellas to munch on <3

Chicken! Just in general! 120 for a whole chicken breast is the best thing ever <3

Almond milk! I've always been lactose sensitive so I've never genuinely had regular milk, plus almond milk is 30 cals per cup and full of calcium which is super important for hair and nails!

Miso Soup! My dad's made this stuff for me since I was a wee little kid, its just one of my favorite foods, period! When i found out it was only 50 cals per cup I was absolutely THRILLED

Healthy Choice power bowl microwaved meals. Oh my goodness absolute godsend! 170 for a whole DINNER!!!! Super filling, high protein, literally just put it in the microwave and bam omgggg its so nice to have these when I need them <3

Strawberries, Watermelon, blueberries! Oh my! <3

Low cal versions of my favorite meals! I've been experimenting with a bunch of low calorie recipes of different stuff and they've all been great! If you like cooking, it can be a great way to keep busy and keep with your goals! My favs so far are low cal pancakes, low cal tortilla wraps, low cal margarita pizza, etc!

I'll add more as I discover more! Stay safe <3

#tw ed #tw disordered eating #ed not sherran #foodspo #mealspo #mealsp0 #safe f00d #safe foods #rice cake nation

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songbirdstew · 5 months

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Well, Tom Petty, it turns out I DO have to live like a refugee.

We are back in evacuation mode. I guess a three and a half year break isn't bad.

Saturday, we woke up to half an inch of ice coating every possible surface.

Our power went out at 3 that afternoon.

Sunday, we woke up to an inch thick layer of ice coating every possible surface.

None of this is snow. It is all ice.

The outside temperature ranged from 23 to 27*F. By Tuesday, the inside temperature had dropped to 39, our power bank was drained, and our devices were near dead. Our immediate plan was to head to the Parks center, or if that didn't work, to City Hall (where our library is), both usually sound options for getting a cup of coffee and charging up. We would make contact with the outside world, check the weather forecast, make a plan, then head back home to grab essentials. But C's sister happened to text me right as I was gathering everything up, so we headed for her place instead.

The path from here to there was NOT GREAT BOB.

The roads were all coated in ice, still. Even in the middle of town, on the main thoroughfares, on the Priority 1 deicing routes. All along the route, there are power lines down, power poles down and broken, transformers exploded, trees down, trees snapped in half, trees sliced down the middle vertically. There are power lines dangling over the road, lying in the road, draped across people's driveways and over their front doors so they can't get out. Half the traffic lights were out.

So as soon as we got here, we decided to stay put for the night. The cats were loaded on food and water, and the house was safe and sound.

We quickly learned the entire East half of our town (where the Parks center is) and most of mid town and downtown (where the library is) were totally without power, plus the Parks center's parking lot was blocked by downed trees, so it was just as well we ended up skipping our initial idea and just came straight to Emma and Zev's.

Today, C&I went back to get things we'll need while we're here (we brought NOTHING with us yesterday). The temperature finally rose, so most of the ice had melted. Most of the traffic lights were back on.

But everything else is still the same, if not worse. Once the ice melted, everything that had been hanging by a frozen thread just crashed. Large parts of town are under orders to boil all of their water (remember, they don't have power). When we got home, we found a tree branch had completely shattered the rear window of C's car while we were gone. A huge hunk of ice fell out of the same tree and put a brand new dent in my fender while we were there. It was still only 37* at our house, even though it was up to 47 less than a mile away. The fuck?

The kitties were okay. Charlie seemed perfectly fine (like, What? You were gone?), and Glitch was well, but very, very sad. She HATES being alone (she doesn't even like being alone in a room when people are home). She HATES it when I'm not there. She could tell we were leaving again right away, and she was so unhappy. I set up her favorite blankets for her on the couch and on the bed. We gave them food and water for a few days, plus wet food with calming drops mixed in. We freshened their boxes, and we closed them in their separate spaces so that Charlie won't be bullying Glitch & stealing her food the whole time.

Curtis plans to go back out to the house on his own tomorrow, largely to further inspect his car and take more pictures for the insurance company. School is cancelled for the week. So far I have not had to go in to work, but tomorrow and Friday remain to be seen. My boss will let me know sometime in the morning whether she expects me to work or not, and then Curtis and I will decide if we think it's safe enough to get me there and back. We haven't been to that part of town, so we don't know how bad the tree damage etc might be. If it's anything like the rest of the city, I know I won't feel comfortable navigating that in the dark.

For now, we are good, and warm, and safe, with people we love. Emma and Zev are such good influences on Royal, that Royal actually ate something green today (enchilada sauce).

Please snuggle your kitties for me and kiss their stupid little heads, okay?

#it's just a lot #there's a lot going on with the infrastructure and the utilities #it's all a huge huge mess and it's going to take DAYS to get power back on #but Emma is very calming and Zev is infectiously boisterous #and he immediately made us all coffee and hot chocolate and tea the instant we walked in the door

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skinnipinni · 6 months

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Things that helped me survive:

Don’t exclude things. It is scary, like wtf crisps are caloric af. But it will help you to not binge. You feel like eating some crisp? Eat some, count it into your daily intake. Maybe eat them tomorrow too. That way you wont fill yourself with unsatisfying food and still end up binging on whole bag…

Protein is the most important thing. Buy everything wit “protein” on its label

Celebrate Christmas and Easter with your family. This one day won’t change anything. Really. Your family doesn’t deserve to worry on Christmas Eve and you can eat food that only occurs at special occasions.

Take vitamin D

DON’T CHEW GUM. Research shows that actually it makes you more hungry.

Water is mandatory. 2 litres have to be drank daily.

You can drink cola 0 on ketosis while fasting. Somebody once told me that I can’t. You can drink it because it doesn’t have carbs so your ketosis is safe <3.

If you binge, don’t fast right after it. After your fast you will just binge again. Come back to normal restriction and try fasting in 2-3 days.

Buy good skin care and hair care products. You will need that. Your skin might start being grey and dry and hair will just fall out. Buy good brush, use masks, conditioners and hair growth products. Use t-shirt/special silk towel to dry it. Don’t bleach it. It will only make it worse.

VOLUME EATING - a real lifesaver, it will make you soooo satisfied. You can make whole bowls of low cal protein and veggies. Your stomach will feel full and you will have no space to eat something “forbidden”

Go for a walk. Really, that’s enough, thats how I lost 40kg. Unless you want to be toned walking is enough and you won’t faint and over exercise yourself.

Dieting can be cheap, but you have to plan for whole week.

If you live with someone, don’t even say a word about dieting. I had situations at home when I fasted for 3 days and my mom yelled at me for getting close to the fridge because she didn’t know I haven’t eaten anything for long time. Be normal about it. Hide the scale after using it. Make a password for your computer, phone, tablet. Have your own bin in your room and empty it regularly. Don’t do too much lax because they will notice you occupy bathroom for too long. Eat something high cal once in a while in front of them.

My friends are always going out to eat. If you have a boyfriend just give him some of your portion, if you are single order something lower in calories than other options and start with eating low cal ingredients. Don’t waste money on food at restaurants, buy something cheap, you are not going to eat all of it anyways. You are supposed to get skinnier, not your wallet.

If your friends want to drink, try drinking non alcoholic beer. It’s not so high in calories and you can find excuse for drinking it. If you really want to drink alcohol divide it into two portions and drink it with 0 cal cola. 0.5 shot of vodka and rest of the cup is cola, then repeat and you will appear normal.

Don’t buy konjac, I know its tempting but believe me it won’t help you with your toilet visits.

Don’t overuse lax. It took me 2 years to start sh*ting without problems and extreme pain again.

You can watch fat mukbangers or 600lb life. It makes me motivated. BUT DON’T POST FATSPO OF RANDOM PEOPLE. IT IS JUST EVIL. IF YOU DO THAT JUST STFU AND GET OUT, UR HUMAN PIECE OF TRASH. People on those shows were there voluntarily and they know they will get critique but random girls on social media don’t deserve it…

Find manual hobby that requires a lot of concentration. It will take your mind of fasting and will relax you <3

Remember ED is not pretty or cute or delicate dainty fairycore sh*t. It is pain and tears and mental damage. It’s not glamorous as we want it to be.

#⭐️ving #tw ed diet #tw ana diary #anorexcya #ana rant #an0r3c1a #@n0r3xia #@nor3×14 #⭐️ve

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troublemaker203 · 20 days

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Murtagh Fitzgibbons x Fem! reader - Arranged Marriage Pt. 4

Word count: 1002

Summary: After your father had been killed and your brother had been taken by the Redcoats, you were left behind. A group of highlanders come across your ravaged house and decide to take you with them to Castle Leoch. Since you have lost the protection from your father and brother, it is decided that you should be married, in order to keep you protected from the Redcoats.

Warnings: None

Part 3

You did not remember much from the night before: Your attempts to calm your nerves with alcohol had turned into you getting slightly drunk. When dinner was over and everyone started to move through the hall – also drunk – you tried to make a run for it, but Claire had kept an eye on you during the whole evening and she was not about to let you get shot by one of the guards.

The tables were cleared of all of the food and there were only glasses and jugs of alcohol left. Some musicians had made their way to the front of the hall and now the festivities had really started. Men and women were dancing through the tables and some were already trying to move some of the tables to the side, creating a dancefloor. Claire had held you by your arm, in order to stop you from escaping, and the only thing you could do was watching everyone having a good time. “Here,” Claire handed you a cup, “drink some wine and stand with me for a while. You’ll feel better, I promise. And, with a bit of luck, Murtagh will get the courage to talk to you or maybe even ask you to dance,” she winked at you. “There is no reason to be afraid of him, you know. He is a sweet man once you really get to know him.” When I get to know him… That was the problem, you did not know this man at all. Claire had raised her glass to Murtagh, who raised his as well. “Oh look!” she nudged your shoulder. “He is standing up. Now, I am going to go over there, so he can see that you’re alone and available, but I will stay close to you, so don’t worry.” Claire walked away and Murtagh approached you. “Good evening,” he said and raised his glass, you followed his gesture. “To us, I guess,” he took a sip. “To us,” you said and took a sip as well. “How are ye? Are ye nervous about tomorrow?” You nodded, finding that nodding was not as bad as saying the actual words, afraid that you might hurt his feelings. “I understand,” he looked around the room and said nothing for a while. “Are you… eh, are you nervous, at all?” Murtagh chuckled lightly when you asked the question. “I might not look like it, but yes, I am, too.” You felt that the bricks of the wall you had built around you slowly started to fall down. He certainly did not look like it, indeed, but Claire had been right, you were starting to see that this man was a friendly one. “Isn’t it bad luck to see the bride so close before the wedding?” you asked him, in an attempt to break the ice even more. “Only if ye’re in yer weddin’ dress.” “Oh.” Right, my wedding dress. “Eh… about that, do you know where I can get a wedding dress?” “Everything is already being arranged, no need to worry about anything,” Murtagh started to smile, “Ned has got it covered.” You nodded, unsure what that smile meant.

You two had been standing in silence for a while, until Murtagh asked you something you had never thought he would ask. “Would ye like to dance?” he stretched out his hand towards you. “I am not sure if I know how.” “I will show ye.” You took his hand and he escorted you towards the dancefloor. You put your hand on his shoulder and he put his on the small of your back. “Ye’re going to need to be a little bit closer to me, is that okay?” You nodded and he gently pulled you closer to him. You had never been this close to him and it did not feel awful; on the contrary, it felt kind of safe. You even dared to look him in his eyes now. His eyes were ever so soft and friendly, like he was actively trying to put you at ease. “Just follow my lead,” he started to move very slowly and once he noticed that you followed him without difficulty, he started to pick up the pace, so that you were dancing to the rhythm of the music. When this had gone well for a while, he even spun you carefully around and, as you were spinning, you caught a glimpse of Claire, who was smiling at the scene.

Murtagh was an incredibly good dancer and you caught yourself enjoying the situation. You even caught Murtagh smiling and laughing a couple of times. You were more focused on not stepping on his feet than the wedding you would be having tomorrow. It was really nice to be having a good time for once. You were so focused on dancing with Murtagh, that when you looked around you, after having danced for a while, you saw that most of the people who attended the feast had retreated to their chambers already. Some people were still there, but most had gone to bed. “What time is it?” you asked. “Let’s just say I think we’re closer to the morning than we are to midnight,” he said with a grin. Your eyes widened. That meant that it was officially the day of the wedding! Murtagh noticed your shock and tried to ease your mind. “Don’t worry, the ceremony won’t start until late in the afternoon. I think most people will need ample time to recover from the festivities of the previous night.” You smiled at his attempt to calm your nerves. “Well, I guess it’s time for me to retire to my chambers, then.” Murtagh gave you a short nod in response. “Goodnight. I will see you at the wedding.” He gave a quick bow. “Yes, I will see you at the wedding.” You turned around and started to walk towards the corridor, trying to find the stairs to your room. This would be your last night of freedom.

Tag list:

@hobbitsesoftheshire

@mysticalsoups

@islayhawkin

@oneofthoseshoes

@bittersweet-ginger

@taetae-forever

@talkdifferently6

#murtagh fitzgibbons fraser #imagines #imagine #x reader #outlander imagine #outlander #murtagh fitzgibbons x reader #murtagh fitzgibbons imagine #murtagh

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yeetus-feetus · 7 months

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"if you're so hungry why don't you just get up and make yourself food?" "stop being so lazy and get yourself something to eat" "why haven't you eaten all day? You're an adult why can't you get yourself food?"

Because it's not that fucking easy! I struggle sometimes and I'm so tired of being called lazy because I'm grown and can't do things for myself. Do you know how much I hate myself because I can't just get up and eat! Not on a bad days like today. Right now my only safe food is Mac n cheese, I can't eat anything else, do you know how many steps that takes on a bad day??

Look at it like this

On a good day: Step 1) make Mac n cheese. Step 2) extra cheese. Step 3) enjoy the yummy food!

On an okay day: Step 1) find a bowl. Step 2) find Mac n cheese packet. Step 3) put mac n cheese in bowl. Step 4) add water. Step 5) microwave for 2 minutes. Step 6) take out and mix. Step 7) microwave for 3 mins. Step 8) grate cheese. Step 9) mix in extra cheese. Step 10) eat Mac n cheese. Step 11) clean up.

On a bad day: Step 1) make myself get out of bed and try not pass out from the nausea caused by simply getting up. Step 2) walk to kitchen. Step 3) open cubbord and look for bowl. Step 4) find Mac n cheese packet. Step 5) open packet and pour pasta into bowl. Step 6) open flavour packet and pour into bowl. Step 7) find measuring cup. Step 8) measure correct amount of water and add to bowl. Step 9) carry bowl to microwave and open microwave. Step 10) put bowl in microwave. Step 11) press buttons to set microwave to 2 mins. Step 12) look for my comfy spoon. Step 13) panic because I can't find comfy spoon because it never gets put back in the right place unless I do the dishes. Step 14) either find comfy spoon (which adds several more step if I have to clean it) or have to force myself to use a regular spoon and not have a meltdown. Step 15) open microwave and Take out Mac n cheese. Step 16) mix the Mac n cheese. Step 17) put bowl back in microwave. Step 18) press buttons to set microwave to 3 mins. Step 19) sit on the floor because my body aches all over and it's too much to stand, and watch the microwave until it dings. Step 20) open microwave and take out Mac n cheese, trying not to spill it because standing up makes me dizzy. Step 21) mix Mac n cheese again. Step 22) forgo adding extra cheese because that's another 20 steps I'm too tired for. Step 23) look for a comfortable place to sit. Step 24) sit and stare at Mac n cheese until I have enough energy to force myself to eat. It's probably cold by now. I probably have to take several breaks before being able to finish eating. Step 25) make myself get up again, try not cry because everything hurts and the room is spinning again. Step 26) take bowl to kitchen. Step 27) rinse bowl and spoon. 28) wipe over the bench. Step 29) walk back to my room and go back to bed for the rest of the day.

Do you see how impossible a task can seem when it's almost 30 whole steps?? Can you understand why I struggle so much on bad days? It's a good thing if I manage to eat at least one thing. It's a good thing if a manage to get up and got to the bathroom when I need to, instead of laying there and holding it until I can't any longer and then force myself up- that's a thing that happens. And you're gonna get upset at me for not being able to eat?? Do you even know how much pain I'm in right now? How bad my demand avoidance is right now? How many painkillers I've taken, if I've been able able to muster up enough energy to take them? How much I want to gauge my own eyes out to relieve the building pressure in my head because it feels like it's going to explode? Do you see that 29 step list looming over me? A 29 step list that has the possiblity of becoming even more fucking steps if everything doesn't go exactly right? Do you understand why I can't "just get up and make food" now?

Jfc I hate it here.

I hate my body.

#chronic pain #audhd #ocd #pots #rant post

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beeeinyourbonnet · 2 months

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Covetous | Chapter 3

Rating: E

Pairing: Macelle (Father MacAvoy x Belle) or Nostelle (Nosty x Belle), who is to say which

Summary: Father Joseph MacAvoy wakes up in a library across town with no idea of how he got there. When the kind librarian doesn’t kick him out immediately, he considers that maybe there’s more to life than alcohol.

[chapter 1] [chapter 2]

Notes: I’m setting this as though The Tournament never took place and MacAvoy just contined on his downward spiral. This will not have spoilers for The Tournament but it will have spoilers for Safe, kind of. Also, I’m sorry for my poor geography. Pretend anything geographic that doesn’t make sense makes sense :’)

tws: alcoholism, homelessness. If I missed a warning, I’m so sorry–please let me know and I will add it ASAP!

------------------------

In the light of a new day, some of Belle’s fever had abated. She was acting like a silly schoolgirl instead of an adult with her dream job to fulfill her.

After unlocking the library door, she turned to wave at the man in his wheelchair who always sat outside the convenience store across the way.

“Morning!” she called.

“Morning!”

“I’m about to make some coffee, do you want some?”

He raised what she knew to be his change cup in agreement, and she turned back into the library. That’s how it should be—Belle should just help people as best she could and then not dwell on them forever.

It was hard, though, when the person you couldn’t stop thinking about had been coming into your library for six months now and always made you laugh and treated you better than anyone else ever had.

“Except,” Belle muttered to herself, almost dropping the coffee filters in her agitation, “Except it’s not very kind to say you’ll be somewhere and then never show up. One might argue that that’s a dealbreaker.”

One might. She scooped coffee grounds into the urn. One might also argue that Nosty showing up at all was a good thing, and she should be worried instead of angry that he hadn’t last night.

Belle didn’t need to have that argument with herself though because no matter what, she began worrying about Nosty the second he left her field of vision and didn’t stop until he returned, whole and unbloodied.

She paused in her scooping, staring at the pile of grounds. In all of her internal dialoguing, she’d lost count. It was looking the way it usually looked, so she added two more scoops for good measure and then set it to brew.

She should think about Father MacAvoy. The chances that he hadn’t gone home and immediately had a drink were low, but she hoped he’d at least considered getting help. Perhaps if she’d known him better, she’d have volunteered to sit vigil by his bedside for the first few nights, but she barely knew him at all.

What would her father say if he knew about the company she kept? “Belle’s always been happy with her books,” he used to say to his friends. “My odd little girl.”

Her heart panged. She missed her father. But maybe she hadn’t always been happy with her books. Maybe she’d always needed more, and now she’d passed all the stages in life where people made friends. What would Nosty say? That she was filling the void with strays.

The coffee finished and she made a cup for her friend across the street, grabbing a banana and packet of biscuits she knew he liked as well.

She headed back to her office, forcing herself not to scan her surroundings constantly on the hunt for Nosty. He would come back eventually. He always did.

Apparently, he already had. The food she’d left for him, labeled with his name, was missing from the fridge, and the bottle of fabric spray she kept for him was on her desk instead of in the cabinet. Was he lurking around somewhere, or had he come in the night and left before she arrived?

She ignored the sting of that thought. Nosty could have been in the building still—he may have been loud and brash, but if he didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t be.

With a groan, Belle flung herself into her chair. If only she’d made friends with reliable schedules in grad school, then maybe she could just do good deeds and go home without getting attached to anyone.

An echoing groan answered her from the closed bathroom and Belle yelped, feet carrying her from the chair before she had the conscious thought. Maybe Nosty was here, lying injured on the bathroom floor.

When she pushed the door open, though, she almost wasn’t surprised to find Father MacAvoy curled up by the trashcan, barely conscious.

****

Of course, she had no way of knowing what either man had been thinking last night. Had Father MacAvoy come and eaten Nosty’s food, then collapsed on her bathroom floor? Somehow, she doubted that. Perhaps Nosty had come with the intention of waiting for her, seen Father MacAvoy, and left.

Who knew?

All Belle could say was that there was an unconscious priest on her bathroom floor and food gone from her fridge. Sitting at the empty circulation desk and pretending to work was easier than untangling whatever she was feeling, so she busied herself with filling an online cart with dresses she could never afford so she could pretend that someday, she’d do more than live paycheck to paycheck.

She felt like she might be within her rights to be angry with both of them—Nosty for his disappearing act and Father MacAvoy for, well, the exact opposite. All she felt was confused.

After about half an hour, she filled a paper cup with water from the cooler and headed back to the bathroom. Father MacAvoy sat against the wall now, head tilted back and eyes closed.

“Father?” she whispered, and he startled awake.

“Belle.” He looked all around, finally settling on the water in her hand. “I didn’t expect—”

Belle waited for him to finish and, when he didn’t, she handed him the water.

“You’re welcome here any time, Father.”

He mumbled something, accepting the water with a quick nod of thanks. She didn’t have the energy to ask him to repeat himself.

“Are you hungry?”

He shook his head. She wasn’t surprised.

“I’ll be out front,” she said. “You can come find me when you feel better.”

He nodded, not meeting her eyes, and she ruffled his hair to show she wasn’t mad before heading back out.

****

She could have sworn that hours passed before she looked at the clock again, but it had somehow only been another thirty minutes. A few retirees had wandered in and checked out some books, but this early in the morning on a weekday meant that there was little to distract Belle from her own thoughts.

Every time the door moved, she perked up, but of course it was never Nosty. She still wasn’t fully certain he wasn’t somewhere in the building.

A few minutes later, she turned at a shuffling sound and found Father MacAvoy shambling toward her, hand shielding his eyes from the overhead lights.

“Good morning!” she said much more cheerfully than she felt.

“Morning.” He leaned on the front of the desk like it was the only thing holding him up. “I’m so sorry, Belle. I thought I passed out in bed.”

“It’s fine.”

He tilted his head, eyes narrowing, and she plastered her bright smile on. “What’s wrong?”

And just like that, the floodgates she’d been holding in all morning—so stupid, what was there even to cry about?—broke, and her eyes filled. She bit her cheek to keep it at that, but soon Father MacAvoy was stumbling around the desk to pat her clumsily on the shoulder.

“There, there,” he said, and she had to laugh. This was what a priest was supposed to do, and yet it felt so awkward and unnatural.

She reached for a tissue and found that Father MacAvoy was already holding one out to her. After dabbing at her eyes with care for her mascara, she tossed it in the bin and swiveled to face him. “I’m sorry, Father, that wasn’t about you at all.”

“What was it about?” he asked gently.

She shook her head. “I’m just tired. Do you want to sit up here with me?”

He nodded, so she found him a chair and pulled it up behind the desk with her, bringing a water bottle as well.

He leaned back in his chair, and she didn’t have the energy to pretend that she hadn’t been clothes shopping, so she went back to it.

“That one’s nice,” he said when she’d scrolled past a page of evening gowns. She opened it in a new window and tried not to grimace. It was floor-length and full-sleeved purple satin. In theory, it wasn’t bad, but Belle couldn’t imagine ever wanting to wear it.

“Very priestly of you,” she said, closing out of it.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s dark and all-covering.”

He snorted. “Fine. What would you pick out?”

Belle hadn’t been intrigued by anything on that page, so she clicked through a few more and then stopped, bringing up a sleeveless golden a-line with lace paneling.

“If I was rich and got invited to benefits that cost more than my rent, I’d wear this.”

Father MacAvoy didn’t speak, and when she turned to him, he cleared his throat.

“It’s lovely,” he said. “Elegant.”

She smiled. “I think so.”

“Are you looking for anything in particular?” He pointed his chin at the screen. “All these dresses cost at least a month’s rent.”

She shook her head. “Just trying to take my mind off of things.”

“I am a priest, you know,” he said. “You can talk to me, even if I am disgraced.”

She clicked through a few more pages, not even looking at anything, then closed the window. It would be nice to have someone to talk to. Though she was friendly with some of her coworkers, it wasn’t like she could tell any of them about Nosty. Besides, she was their boss.

“I’m worried,” she said. She glanced over her shoulder at him, so he gestured for her to continue. “About Nosty.”

“Ah.”

She swallowed, having nothing to fiddle with now that she’d closed the window.

“Why are you worried?” he prompted.

She folded her arms, hugging them to her chest. “I never know when he’ll show up or what he does when he’s gone. Is he not here because he just isn’t, or is he not here because he’s hurt? Or worse?”

“It’s tough,” he said. “Caring about someone who’s never safe.”

“I wish—” She paused, not sure what she wanted to say yet.

“You wish?”

“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “He has a hard life. It’s not fair for me to put my feelings on him.”

“It’s okay. You can have feelings.” He leaned toward her, lowering his voice. “I won’t tell anyone.”

It was almost comforting to talk to him without being able to see his face. Was this what confession was like?

“I just wish I knew if he cared about me, I guess,” she said. “If he knows that it bothers me when I don’t know where he is, or if that’s just who he is.”

“I’m sure he cares about you,” Father MacAvoy said. “Who wouldn’t?”

Belle chuckled without humor. “That’s very kind of you to say, Father, but I’ve always been odd, and it’s only once I grew into being conventionally attractive that anyone ever gave me the time of day. So, to answer your rhetorical question, most people wouldn’t.”

“Well, from where I’m sitting, being conventionally attractive isn’t even close to your best quality,” Father MacAvoy said.

Belle’s cheeks pinked, and she looked down at her lap. “Thank you, Father,” she said. “That’s very kind of you.”

“Please,” he said. “Call me Joseph. I feel like an imposter when you call me Father.”

The pink flush in her cheeks deepened, guilt creeping along the back of her neck. She wasn’t Catholic—or even religious—but she felt like she’d be committing a sin to use his name. Still, he’d asked her directly. It would be rude to call him “Father” now.

“Okay,” she said. “Joseph.”

She glanced at him, thinking he’d been watching her, but his eyes were unfocused, staring off into space.

“What is it?” she asked.

He shook his head, settling back into the present. “Nothing. I just—haven’t been called by my own name in a long time.”

****

Father MacAvoy—Joseph—was good company, even during the after school rush, even when he got sick again in withdrawal. Belle felt less alone just having him sitting there. Maybe what she’d needed all along was companionship, not Nosty specifically. Maybe, when she went home tonight, she’d worry about him a normal amount that a person would worry for a friend.

A hot, anxious pit settled in her stomach. It was Friday. Belle didn’t work weekends. That meant she wouldn’t even have a chance of seeing Nosty until Monday. Even if she came in her off time, sat in a chair for every open hour, he wouldn’t be there. He knew when she worked, and even though the weekend staff knew about the snack cart, they wouldn’t have taken kindly to him entering from the back door, taking over Belle’s office, making himself a sandwich.

“Belle?” Joseph poked his head into her office. She realized she’d stopped packing up her bag and was just standing there, frozen with worry over Nosty.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll just be a minute.” Maybe, to keep her mind off things this weekend, she could lock herself in Joseph’s church and scrub it from top to bottom. There was enough dust and grime to keep her mind off of everything.

“I’ll be outside, unless you need help?”

She shook her head. “No, no, you go.”

He eyed her like he didn’t quite believe her, but she slapped her bright smile on and he left. Just to make sure Nosty hadn’t been hiding in her office this whole time, she shoved everything into her purse and did a sweep of every possible hiding spot—closet, cabinet, shower, toilet. Nosty was nowhere.

She turned out the lights and stood in the dark for a few seconds, thinking maybe he’d appear from the shadows. When nothing happened, she sighed, locking up her office when she left.

As she walked out, she shut lights off. When she’d first started, closing the library had scared her, but now she relished the quiet, loved the way it felt like tucking her home in for bed. Some low lights stayed on all the time, and the gentle dim light centered her, made her feel a little more like she could survive the weekend.

Then, a hand snaked out from between two shelves and grabbed her, and she yelped as Nosty yanked her into his chest.

****

For a second, all she could do was stare up at him, one wrist caught in his hand while the other rested on his shirt pocket.

“Nosty,” she said, because she didn’t know what else to say. It wasn’t like he never disappeared. It wasn’t like it was even unusual for her to not see him for a day and a half. The only unusual part was that she’d pined for him like he’d been lost at sea.

“Evening, sweetheart,” he growled. She didn’t give her knees permission to turn to jelly at the sound of his voice, but they did it anyway.

“What are you doing here?”

He lowered her hand to his chest and then slipped both arms around her, holding her against him. “Didn’t you miss me?”

“You said you’d come last night.” That was it, wasn’t it? For the first time, he’d said something definite, and it had been a lie.

He pulled her closer, and she curled into him. How could she ever explain to anyone that Nosty’s arms were the safest place she’d ever known, even as she wanted to rip herself away from them and scream?

“You were busy,” he said.

She didn’t understand why he was so jealous of a priest. He should have been proof that Joseph was not her type.

“Have you been here all day?” she asked. “Or did you just come in?”

He ducked his head to kiss her on the temple, soft, the way his first kiss always was. She stiffened her traitorous jelly knees.

“I’m here now.” He kissed below her eye. “What’s it matter?”

She pushed against his arms, holding herself away from his chest. “You’ve been here all day, haven’t you? I’ve been losing my mind wondering where you were, and you were just punishing me.”

“Don’t be stupid.” He tightened his arms, pulling her closer. “I wouldn’t punish you.”

“Then what?” She pulled his arms apart, stepping away from him. “There was no one here worth hiding from. No other employees, no huge groups of kids. Just me.”

He raised both hands, and she noticed a new cut on the heel of his palm. It didn’t look like a knife wound, but she wondered how he got it anyway.

“If I’d known this was the fucking welcome I’d get, I wouldn’t have bothered, hey?”

“Oh my god.” Belle pressed her hands over her eyes because if she continued to look at him, she’d let him talk her out of being angry. “Oh my god, I’m going crazy.”

“Aye, fucking mad.”

She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut harder. “I can’t do this, Nosty. I can’t spend every minute you’re not here out of my mind with worry, pining after you, wondering when you’ll bother to throw me a crumb, I can’t.”

Rough hands—hands she knew wielded knives, became fists, bruised, beat, battered—closed around hers, easing her palms off her eyes.

She watched Nosty as he pulled her hands to him, pressing one to his heart and the other to his lips.

“I have to go,” she said. “Father MacAvoy needs a ride home.”

She didn’t move as he kissed her knuckles one at a time. He held her hands so gently, she could have gotten away with no effort.

“Don’t go,” he murmured into her fingers.

“Nosty—”

“I was jealous.” He switched to her other hand, this time pressing his lips to the inside of her wrist. Something loosened in her chest.

“And?” she said.

“I didn’t want to fuck it all up.”

It was the most honest thing he’d ever said with words. She wanted to fall into him.

“I was worried about you,” she said.

“Don’t go,” he said again. “Belle, don’t go.”

He kissed up her arm and she wanted to stay. God, did she want to stay. But she’d already left Joseph outside for too long. He would worry.

“I have to,” she said.

“Fuck him,” Nosty growled, scraping his teeth along her wrist. Her knees would never be the same again. “Stay with me.”

“Come to my flat.” The words were out before she could stop them, and then she couldn’t take them back. She didn’t want to anyway—if Nosty was at her flat, she wouldn’t have to worry about him.

“Your flat, eh?” He wrapped her arms around his neck, cradling her around the waist again. “Don’t you know it’s dangerous to invite a monster over the threshold?”

“Then come to the cinema with me.” A horrible, desperate feeling dwelled in her chest, but she met his bright eyes anyway. “Spend time with me.”

“The cinema?” He glanced around the dark library. “In public?”

“Tonight.”

He narrowed his eyes, searching her face for who knew what. She didn’t know whether he found it or not when he closed his eyes and touched his forehead to hers.

“Why?”

Wrapping her finger around one of his locks, she took the opportunity to kiss the corner of his mouth while his eyes were closed. It always felt like Nosty had her at his mercy, that she was helpless to do anything but follow where he led. Relishing this moment of being the one leading, she kissed the other corner. He opened his eyes.

“I want to go on a date with you,” she said.

“You’re mad,” he said, then snorted when she tugged on his hair.

“You’re the one who kissed me first.”

“Aye.”

He kissed her then, one hand clutching the back of her head, fingers tangled in her curls. When he pulled away, the only thing holding her upright was his other arm around her waist.

“Stay with me here,” he hissed into her lips.

“Go on a date with me.”

He pulled back just enough to search her face again, and she tried to mimic the grin he gave her when he was pretending to be mean. He must have recognized it because he snorted.

“Fine,” he said. “A date it is.”

“Really?” she asked before she could stop herself. She didn’t want him to change his mind.

“Really, love.” He brought his mouth to her neck and pressed a tiny, fluttering kiss to her pulse. “But you’ll owe me.”

He bit down, and her knees buckled, but even her trembling limbs couldn’t stop her happy laugh.

****

MacAvoy hadn’t actually seen Nosty, but he’d seen what he thought was the edge of his kilt, and even though he didn’t relish the idea of sharing Belle with him right now, he’d spent all day watching her wilt. How could he do anything other than give them a minute alone?

The minute turned into five, ten, and MacAvoy realized he should have brought a water bottle with him. His head pounded and the soup he’d forced down at lunch was starting to speak to him from beyond the grave.

Then Belle scurried out of the library, flushed and happy, and his stomach calmed a fraction.

“I’m so sorry.” She rushed around in her heels, unlocking the Ford as she did, and MacAvoy collapsed into the passenger seat.

“No need,” he said. “You look happy.”

She beamed at him as she threw herself into the driver’s side, but didn’t say anything more. He was glad that Nosty had turned her mood around, though he hoped he wasn’t just stringing her along. She deserved someone who would actually be there for her.

Someone like you, you sot? the mean little voice in his head sneered. He clenched his teeth, watching her back out of the little parking lot.

“You know,” Belle said as she checked behind her. “I’m not happy the circumstances, but I’m so grateful you were here today.”

He stared at her, taken aback. No one had been grateful for his presence since the last time he officiated a wedding, and who knew what year that was? They probably weren’t even that grateful because he was surely tipsy, if not wasted.

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I really needed a friend.”

He didn’t know which was more unbelievable—that a good samaritan like Belle considered him a friend, or that he’d somehow managed to make a friend simply by blacking out drunk in her place of work. God, if it was that easy to befriend someone, why was he so fucking lonely?

“Me too,” he said.

“So,” she said. “Are you going to drink tonight?”

Cutting right to the chase then. MacAvoy swallowed. “I don’t know.”

“You seemed better today.”

He shrugged. “I didn’t drink as much last night. That’s why I really thought I passed out in bed, I swear.”

“It’s okay.” She reached over the console and squeezed his shoulder. He wondered vaguely if it was possible to evaporate.

“It won’t happen again.”

“I’d rather find you in my library than read your obituary in the paper.”

“Well,” he looked out the window to hide the redness in his cheeks, “Doubt you’d find my obituary in your paper. I’m on the other side of London.”

“I’d find out.”

They sat in silence, still comfortable, but MacAvoy felt more tense. Of course he would ruin the atmosphere.

“Just so you know, I don’t work weekends,” she said. “So try not to show up in the library until Monday, okay?”

He paled. What if his drunk brain forgot and someone else found him there? What if that person called the police?

“Are you holding mass on Sunday?” she asked.

That startled a humorless laugh out of him. “This Sunday? Doubt it.”

Belle turned the radio on, and he couldn’t have felt guiltier if she’d flogged him. She was doing him such a kindness and he couldn’t even answer her nicely?

“No one would come,” he said.

“How do you know if you don’t hold it?”

He watched London go by out the window, considering. If he was honest, he didn’t want to hold mass. He was so out of practice, what would he even say?

“I’m not ready yet,” he said.

One hand still on the wheel, she reached over and squeezed his hand. He swallowed, and he was sure she could hear his throat open and close.

The whole drive to the church, even when they talked about mass or drink, Belle all but glowed. A sudden, horrible thought appeared—what if she and Nosty had been ten minutes because they’d been—

He shook his head to clear the thought, regretting it when everything inside of him sloshed angrily. He refused to even imagine that Belle’s mood would be so turned around by a quick hookup hiding out in the middle of the library. His training told him to insist that she not even entertain thoughts of sex until marriage, and he knew that wasn’t modern, but he could at least hope for Belle’s intimate moments to be in a comfortable bed with someone who loved her and didn’t just string her along like a rag doll.

She pulled into the parking lot but again didn’t get out of the car. “What will you do all weekend?”

Surprised, he shrugged. “I don’t know. Why?”

She dug through her purse, coming up with a piece of receipt and a pen, and then scribbled something on it before handing it to him. “If you get bored or need a friend, please call me. I promise I don’t have a social life you’ll be interrupting. Well—” She flushed, beaming again. He wished he could make her look like that. “Don’t call me tonight.”

“Big plans?” he asked, shoving away thoughts of Belle screaming Nosty’s name. He needed a drink. Maybe a vomit.

“I hope so.”

To his surprise, Belle pecked him on the cheek before he got out of the car. Was that a common thing for her, or was it just because of her good mood?

“Oh, Joseph!” she called, rolling down her window.

“Aye?”

“On Monday, maybe come to the library when it’s open instead of in the dead of night?”

Feeling both appreciated and chastised, he nodded his assent, then waved as she pulled out and zipped off.

As he shuffled his way into the barren church, he could no longer run from his own thoughts. He saw Belle pressed against the shelves, clothes torn by Nosty’s rough, violent hands. He couldn’t jog to his room fast enough to escape the vision of Belle’s bare leg hiked up on Nosty’s waist, breasts pressed to him, head thrown back in ecstasy.

Why? He’d been plagued by his demons for years, why were they coming for him now, like this? He’d always preferred the temptation of vice to the temptation of sex. Sex involved other people, but drink? He could ruin himself with alcohol all on his own, and he had. Couldn’t the devil just leave it at that?

He whispered a mantra of vodka, whiskey, gin over and over, but even that couldn’t quash the reel playing out in his mind, and as he shook off the day’s clothes and flopped onto bed, he imagined Nosty readying his cock, twice the size of Joseph’s own and ready to plunder.

What did it say about him that he didn’t even feature in his own sexual fantasies? Was this even a fantasy, or just a horrible waking nightmare?

The bottle of backup-vodka lay on the nightstand where he’d left it, still two-thirds full. He gulped it down, the burn in his throat finally clearing his mind.

The truth was he was happy for Belle that she had someone who made her happy, even if it was Nosty. At least, he wished that was the truth.

With a groan, he set the bottle back on his nightstand. He’d need to ration it, or he might be seeing Nosty’s ever-growing cock all weekend.

[Chapter 4]

#anyelle #anyelle fic #anyelle fanfic #anyelle fanfiction #macelle #macelle fic #nostelle #nostelle fic #new update #covetous

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mysacredmuse · 3 months

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Hii once again, i had a request, but maybe its a weird one? I'm not entirely sure if this sort of request is your cup of tea, but I've been wondering.. since Aventurine is a high ranked and important guy at IPC, he definitely has some enemies. Imagine his s/o getting caught in the crossfire. But lets add drama to it. So the scenario would go like this in my mind: Aventurine and his s/o are out for lunch/dinner whatever, and the food that Aventurine chose looks better to his s/o. He sees how interested they are in his food, so being a good boyfriend he is, gives the food to them. Only for it to turn out to be poisoned. 15-20 into the date, the poison starts to take its effect, and i really don't know much about poisons since i -thankfully - never got poisoned, but lets say s/o spit out blood and lose consciousness. What would Aventurine do? He would definitely make sure we get treated, but how would he feel when he finds out he was suppose to get poisoned, and has accidently put his own dear in danger? The guilt, the fear, the wait for his love to wake up, he would definitely be shaken. I know i wrote a lot but i wanted to ask whether you would be interested in writing such situation? I really like how you characterize Aventurine, and its always so much fun to read :> Have a good day/night!

hello my dear !! I would be interested, however the thing is that you practically wrote it yourself in a way :3 I can only give my opinions as to how I think the situation would resolve :)

also, have a wonderful day/night yourself and thank you so much for your comoliments, I am so happy to hear that you enjoy my works ! :) <3

depending on the poison, effects are different, but let's assume they used sulfuric acid because that one usually causes vomit and blood, while it can also cause passing out because it affects blood pressure, breathing and so on + it's odorless, so even just swallowing the spit that has sulfuric acid in it as you notice the awful taste of food, still can cause quite a trouble.

I think Aventurine would be quite panicked when something like that happens. Sure, on the outside he would be semi-calm, calling out for you and immediately asking for help without skipping a beat. He wouldn't even wait to see if it's something less serious, he is calling the ambulance for you. However, he is a smart and a cunning man when he needs to be, he would catch up pretty quickly with what just happened. He would deal with that later though, as his main priority is getting you to the hospital and staying with you until you wake up. He would be shaky mess the whole time, not leaving your side once, whispering apologies and prayers for you to be okay and wake up, to come back to him, that he will deal with whoever did this, he just needs you to be with him. He would touch your hands and arms a lot, resting his forehead after he places soft kisses over your skin, hoping that it would somehow transfer his hope and love into you, so you wake up okay and safe.

Once you do, I imagine that he would apologize to you A LOT as he was blaming himself the whole time for what happened. Definitely a lot of guilt and a lot of fear. He would just kiss your hands the whole time, too many mixed emotions straining his throat as he just keeps apologizing for everything and saying how he was so awfully scared that he will lose you. Naturally, you know it's not his fault and you are just grateful to be okay and that he is okay, trying to reassure him. However, he won't let this go until he finds and...deals with people who caused this - which he will do, dangerously quickly in fact.

After that, he would make sure you go to the doctor's office regularly as sulfiric acid can kill even after a month. Depends on the amount and a person's body. He won't be himself for the whole month until it's confirmed that you are okay and that you are in the safe zone. He will continue to apologize long after that regardless and be much more cautious about everything and everyone that are around the two of you :)

#muse answers #muse's anons 💜#i hope that this was enjoyable for you !! :D <3 #i am not sure if i did an okay job so please let me know if i missed something by accident ! :)

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woso-fan13 · 2 years

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The 3 Ps

Your whole life, you had been described as ‘picky,’ ‘particular,’ and ‘peculiar.’ You called them ‘The Three ‘P’s’ and almost everyone you met referred to you as at least one of these things. You didn’t like picky, it has such a negative connotation. Peculiar just seemed like a backhanded way for people to be mean. Particular is fitting though.

You craved routine from the moment you were born. You have had the same schedule for as long as you could remember and you were not changing that. Every night before bed, you set an alarm for 0700, but you never needed it. You woke up everyday at 0658, turned off the alarm by 0659, and were out of bed by 0700. You took 180 seconds to get dressed, 90 seconds to brush your teeth, 150 seconds to wash your face, and 180 seconds to brush your hair. That’s 600 seconds, meaning you went to the kitchen by 0710. You make the same breakfast you always make, a strawberry smoothie, which is ready by 0715. You drink this smoothie while taking a walk, returning home by 0800. You wash your cup (60 seconds) and re-brush your teeth (90 seconds.) you send a text to your parents, “Good morning.” and complete school work until 1155. Then, you clean up your work until 1200, and make lunch, a tortilla with smooth peanut butter. This takes 2 minutes, including the time to wash the knife. You eat lunch in 13 minutes, it’s 1215. You take a walk until 1300. You complete schoolwork until 1500, then change and practice soccer from 1505-1805. You make dinner, a cup of oatmeal. You eat this, it is 1845. You complete a word puzzle until 1900. Your parents return from work, you greet them and discuss your day- they already know what you did. From 1930-2030, you read a book. You then eat a single scoop of vanilla ice cream and watch tv until 2130. You complete a 30 minute meditation, put on pajamas (120 seconds,) brush your teeth (90 seconds,) wash your face (120 seconds,) and apply chapstick (20 seconds.) This is completed by 2210. You get in bed and stare at the ceiling until 2245, reflecting on the day. You close your eyes at 2245 and are asleep by 2300. The next day, you do the same thing.

Your schedule worked, there was no reason to change it. Every activity had a time and every time had an activity. To the second, you would know what you were doing at any time throughout the day. The last day you broke your schedule was 22 April 2019. You had been sick and slept in until 0730. You pushed everything back in your schedule 32 minutes.

You knew that today would be different though, and you had been worrying about it for weeks. As soon as you got the call to join the USWNT, you were freaking out. First, about what an incredible opportunity this was. Then, about your schedule. What would you do without your schedule?

Today was the day to find out. You had completed your morning schedule and flown to the camp’s current location, Colorado, during your morning school work time. Your flight landed at 1114 and you were in an Uber going to the hotel now. It was 1155, and you were still in the car. But you took a breath and calmed down- messing your schedule up slightly would be okay. Well, it wouldn’t be okay, but you could handle it without breaking down fully. Once you got to the hotel, everything would be okay. You had your safe foods packed, everything would be okay.

At the hotel, the introductions went as well as you could hope. Alex introduced herself and pulled you into a hug. You instantly stiffened and broke free, backing up 3 steps. You didn’t like it. It wasn’t right and it felt weird, like all of your organs were pulling away from your skin, trying to escape the embrace. It wasn’t that you disliked physical contact, you just only liked it when you initiated it.

Alex instantly began apologizing, but you just stood quietly and shook your head. It wasn’t her fault, she didn’t know. The rest of the girls introduced themselves and just waved. That was okay, everything was okay.

The staff told everyone that they were free to unpack and that they were welcome to have the provided lunch or leave the hotel. Breathing a sigh of relief, you go to your room. Opening the door, you freeze when you see an already unpacked suitcase. Clearly, you had a roommate. But the room was quiet, cool, and dark, and your preferred bed was unclaimed. Everything would be fine. Unpacking quickly but thoroughly, you made lunch. It was 1238 when you started eating, 36 minutes behind schedule. Finishing in your allotted 13 minutes, you grab your keys and phone and take your walk.

You had made it to dinner. Dinner was late, not until 1930, and you had to go to the meeting room to eat with everyone. You couldn’t bring your oatmeal. Maybe they would have another food you liked.

They didn’t. Dinner consisted of baked potatoes, steak, and assorted vegetables. You copied the other players, filling a plate. Using your fork to play with your food, you hoped no one would notice. You couldn’t eat this, it wasn’t right.

“Hey, Y/N, why aren’t you eating? Is something wrong with your dinner?” Ash called bluntly across the table. Great, now everyone was watching you.

“No, everything’s great, I’m still working on it,” to prove your point, you picked a piece of asparagus up on your fork and stuck it in your mouth. As soon as you bite into it, it becomes stringy. Choking it down, you smile, but no one believes you.

Dinner passes and the team finds themselves in your room for bonding. As you previously figured out, you share a room with Mal. You walked in to see several players already on your bed. They were messing it up. The comforter was rumpled and the sheets were untucked. The pillows were askew. Worst of all, you could count at least 4 pairs of shoes on your bed. Outside shoes were touching your bed. But you could breathe through that, the final straw not coming until later in the night, when the team broke out snacks for the movie. There were crumbs on your bed. People on your bed and shoes on your bed and crumbs on your bed. And Emily offered you a candy and you were so distracted you put it in your mouth.

As soon as you bite down, you shriek, the movie pausing. You were too occupied to notice: your knees to your chest, head pressed into your knees. You were rocking back and forth, hands over your ears. Everything was too much and you could not breathe through it. It was not okay.

Ali reached over to try and comfort you, her hand moving to rub circles over your back. You screeched, pulling your body away from her, your rocking picking up speed. This time, you didn’t stop screeching. Everyone watched helplessly until Christen stood up, taking charge. She turned off the lights and the tv screen, flipping on a soft bedside lamp. She opened a window, allowing a cool breeze to come through. Rifling through your bag, she pulls out a blanket, draping it over your shoulders and pulling it over your head. Your hands instantly grabbed the edge. Most importantly, she kicked the rest of the team out. They were hesitant to leave you, but they knew Christen was the only one who could handle this. She sent Mal to bed, telling her to sleep in her room and passing off a key card.

As the last person left and the door shut, you became silent. Christen settles in front of you, bringing herself to your height. She murmurs reassurances, telling you that you are okay and that everything is fine. You knew it wasn’t, but you were still inclined to believe her. A few minutes later, you calm down enough to pull the blanket off of your face. Miraculously, Christen was still sitting in front of you, reassuring you. Bursting into tears, you throw yourself into her, burrowing your face into the corner between her neck and her shoulder. Taking a breath, you were the most relaxed you had been that day.

The door cracks open, Alex coming to check on the both of you. Seeing you cradled against her wife, she smiles. Grabbing a soft cloth and running it under warm water, she makes her way over. She sits in front of you, making no motion to touch you. Holding out the damp cloth, she waits for your nod. She wipes the tears off of your face, the warm water and gentle care relaxing you further. You seem to be relaxing yourself to sleep. Christen begins rocking you gently, calming you more. A sleepy hand reaches for Alex’s, looking for more comfort. A hand grasps yours firmly. You are almost asleep now.

Looking down, Christen sees you losing the battle to sleep. Gently, she stands up with you in her arms and settles in the middle of a bed. You stir only slightly, a few quick shushes putting you back to sleep. Alex settles next to you in the bed, kissing Christen and pressing a kiss to your head before pulling the blankets over all three of you. They leave the lamp on, just in case you wake up confused. The emotional night must have exhausted them, as they fall asleep soon after you do, listening to your slow, deep breaths of sleep.

Tonight was rough. Tomorrow would be rough too- you knew the girls would want explanations as to what happened. You would have to fix the mistakes in your routine from today and get back on your schedule. But you now knew you had a support system behind you to do this. With these girls behind you, you could handle this.

#uswnt x reader #womens soccer #woso community #woso x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt players #uswnt woso #woso imagine #woso imagines

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eric-the-bmo · 5 months

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The Neighborhood Watch, S3 ep3: Who Is She?

[Summary: Markus hangs out with their sister while Song and Louis head back to the casino only to make a discovery. John meets up with Clara and gets caught up in romance, and we learn new things about Shelby.] (this one feels super long btw! It's very detailed bc im insane over the whole thing Oops) @gr3y-plays-ttrpgs

The rest of the Main Cast approaches Marku's house; they open the door, and it smells like weed and Chinese food. Markus lights some incense for Louis (he Does Not like the smell of weed), and a voice calls out from the hall- Markus introduces the owner of the voice as Analetta, their sister who's going to to school in Japan but stopped by to say hello.

We finally get a description for Analetta: She's very plain-looking, with long straight hair and bangs, neutral clothes, etc- a pink hair clip is the most colorful thing on her.

She greets the Main Cast, shaking hands with the newcomers, but her gaze is stuck on Louis. She swears she's seen him before- he looks so familiar, but she can't remember where she's seen him. Louis is confused because they have met before, and comments it's merely a trick of the trade.

Markus complains about the couple who's doing this week-long tour thing for their bug exhibit, but hey at least they'll get money for it. They thank the rest of the Cast for coming over to meet Analetta; Family should meet friends, and Ana's the only family Markus has got. She's emotional over the fact her sibling has friends, finally.

Markus introduces the Cast to her, and I'm mildly offended on John's behalf that his hair was compared to ramen. Meanwhile, Analetta wonders if Markus has mentioned Shelby before- they deny it. Nope, not at all. They've literally never talked about her what do you mean.

Song and Louis mention they should get back home- they've got, uh, cooking lessons. Analette mentions she'd like to try some of the food they'll make, and the others chime in- Louis is internally panicking because they are not doing any actual cooking tonight, but Song remedies this by saying hey, how about Monday instead? She'd also like to use her new kitchen, since her house finally got rebuilt about the Gnome Incident.

There's a knock at the door- Gerald, the guard sent by Song's father to discreetly watch over her, is at the door asking for a cup of sugar with a very bad attempt at an American accent. Markus gives some to him, shenanigans ensue (i was afk </3, but at one point Louis, detecting Gerald's actual accent, spoke French to the man, and Gerald tried So Hard to pretend he didn't know that language) and Markus ends up slamming the door in his face. Song apologizes about the whole thing; her dad is overprotective. She says she'll talk to her dad about possibly lightening the security around her, since she can take care of herself/she's safe around the rest of the Main Cast.

Analetta mentions she ordered more food, but Song and Louis start to head out. Before the couple leaves, though, they take note of what the others like; Markus, with a cabinet full of instant ramen, lies and says Italian- Louis is hyped over the idea of making pasta from scratch. Song puts $50 somewhere Markus can find it later to pay them back for the sugar (50 bucks?? yo???), and the couple heads off.

Shelby notes that John should be heading to that thing he needed to go to; Does he need a ride? John says he'll be fine walking, and he'll let Shelby knows how it goes- he'll try to be safe! And so he starts the almost-hour-long walk, ruminating over everything that could possibly go wrong with it.

---

Shelby heads off to put on some more casual clothes, since she's still all dressed up from the casino- she'll be back in a moment! As she leaves, Analetta is adamant Markus has mentioned her before. She teases Markus about her, while they deny having ever talked about Shelby, until:

["my bugs are very good at getting rid of bodies," Markus states. It's a threat, but in the typical joking manner one has for a sibling. "If you kill me," Analetta responds, "My body will rise up and annoy you forever." "hm nevermind, i don't want that."]

Kyle, the only Doordash guy in town, finally arrives with the food Analetta ordered. Markus gives him a 40$ tip, and assures Kyle they'll be able to eat all of it; some people are coming over anyway.

Shelby returns, no longer in a dress but in a baggy sweatshirt, and she's hyped over the pizza and tacos they've got- there were only alcoholic drinks at the casino. Shelby tries to pay Markus back.

["How much do I owe you for this?" "nothing. you're a friend." "Markus, I can pay you back. I have money." "so do i!"]

Shelby asks how the bug tours are going- horrible, answers Markus. They dislike the fame but they will keep taking people's money. They offer her a joint, and upon her request they go to make brownies instead.

----

John's been fidgeting with his hands, and his phone starts to lag a little bit as he gets closer to the casino. Eventually he spots Clara leaving the building. Oh god, here we go.

Clara gives John that white person smile as she approaches (fuck). They have a short conversation, agreeing to go to the coffee shop in town since the casino is a bit... Well, it's a lot. Clara offers to drive to the cafe, leading him to a motorcycle. John is impressed! She tells him she decided to use her first paycheck to buy her dream vehicle, and tosses him a spare helmet.

["You're going to have to hold on," She tells him as he gets on. "To what?" "To me," She says. "So you don't fall off." "...oh!" Carefully, he does so, trying to be gentle with his claws.]

---

[The bike pulls into the parking lot of the shop; Grounded In Nature, the cat cafe that's also the only coffee shop in town. "You can let go now, you know." "Ah- sorry."]

As the two of them enter, some of the cats run away from them- John apologizes like it's his fault (it is). They sit down, place their orders, and after talking over each other at first, Clara tries again: It was a blur last time she saw him (she was in the forest??), and then there was a lot going on, she got a new job and didn't know how to contact him, and hadn't seen him in town.

Their drinks are brought over- the only employee had spelled their names wrong. A fluffy white cat, brave to approach them, sits next to Clara.

John apologizes for not seeing or contacting her- he doesn't say how he was nervous she'd see he looked different from last she saw him- and they begin to talk a bit more; Clara jokes about her job, John says he loves to listen to people talk about their interests, etc.

And John swears that the cat near her rolls its eyes, like it's tired of how awkward their chat is, and then it jumps up onto the table and knocks over Clara's drink!!! Hey now! >:-0

John stands up, apologizing like it's his fault the cat did that, grabbing a bunch of napkins for her and being like hey?? are you okay??? She says she's okay, it was iced coffee so it didn't hurt, and she needed to change out of her work uniform anyway. Clara looks like she's struggling to say something else, and her gaze locks onto John's.

[Her eyebrows furrow slightly. "...Have your eyes always been that color?"

He looks away.]

She eventually asks if he and Shelby are dating- he stammers out a refusal, saying that while he cares very much about Shelby, he's not romantically interested in her. He leaves out how important she is to him, worrying that would hurt Clara's feelings.

["Okay, got it." Clara takes a breath, and meets his gaze.

"You know I like you, right?"]

There's about three seconds as John's brain catches up with what she said. There's a bit of war in his head- he's thrilled she likes him, but at the same time... there's no way, right? (Oh, the joys of low self-esteem)

[There's a small smile- a mix of disbelief and joy. "...You like me?"]

Clara apologizes for assuming that he and Shelby were together and for assuming he would know she liked him, and John apologizes for being oblivious, saying that no one's ever been interested in him before like this; he doesn't quite know what to do, but he can try this out.

They exchange numbers, and Clara offers him a ride home.

----

Song and Louis enter Lestat's home, and he greets them with a glass of what might be red wine, and a phone to show them all the social media posts people made about them at the casino; it's clear he wants to go there with them. Song and Louis jokingly make fun of Lestat's age and his language about social media apps.

["Lestat," Song asks, "How old are you anyway?" "Old enough," He turns around. "But we're not here to recount tales of the French Revolution."]

They start to get ready, with Song and Louis picking out new suits and dresses for the night.

Song looks out the window, because she hears an engine- and sees John, getting off a bike with a woman! Clara and John hug, and John is made aware of how easy it would be to hurt her in this moment- his small growl is hidden by the engine of her bike.

They pull away, and she drives off with a goodbye. John stands for a moment, reeling, until he sees Sammy and Heath pull up into their driveway- hey, Heath was taken away by the guards, remember? what's up?

So John goes up to greet the couple, asking what happened- Heath tells him that, well, it got loud in the casino, so Sammy had started using ASL to talk to him. The guards thought it was code or something relating to cheating at the casino games, Heath is saying, so they took him away just to look over the security footage. Other than that, they did pretty good at the casino and won some cash, as well as some compensation for the misunderstanding. They decided to go home right after.

John doesn't believe that because I don't, this casino is sketchy as hell, so he rolls to Investigate a Mystery and infers that Sammy seemed to have been in there way longer than it would've taken to just review footage. Suspicious but not knowing where to go from there, he bids them goodnight and heads over to Markus's.

["do you want a joint?" Markus holds one out to him. "No, thank you," John says as he enters. "I'm fine." Weed wouldn't be good for him, given his tendencies. They shrug, turning away. "okay, that's fine. don't eat the brownies, by the way; they've got weed in them." John slowly puts the brownie in his hand back onto the tray.]

The four of them play board games and chat; Analetta shares embarrassing stories about Markus (though she's still confused over how she can't remember the details of them leaving), and Shelby shares some about her and John, mentioning that they met when she hit him with her car.

["How did you manage to do that?" Markus asks. "It was dark!" She said. "I was in a hurry, and he just ran out into the road!"]

John asks why she had been it a hurry that night- this is new to him. It was an unspoken rule between them that they never talked about their pasts, but...

She explains that she's not originally from Greenville; she's from somewhere up East, but she had to get away, so she got in her car and drove as far as she could until she felt it was good enough to stop.

["And then when I hit John, I thought 'Oh, surely this can't get any worse!'"]

John is sympathetic, and Markus offers support. Shelby says she doesn't need to worry about that anymore- and besides, she's got John! He's tough! He jokingly(?) threatens to fight anyone who hurts her, and she lightly punches him in the arm in response.

Markus makes a comment that maybe if they get a divers license, that's how they can get more friends. John responds that maybe Not having one would increase their chances.

Eventually, Markus and Analetta head off to bed, and John and Shelby start their short walk back home.

["That was fun," Shelby said, walking ahead of John, "But I think I'm just gonna head to bed once we get inside." John hummed, a tiny smile at his lips. "So do you want me to tell you the news tomorrow morning, then...?" Shelby spun around to face him. "No no," she said, walking backwards with a grin. "You can't do that- you're telling me now."]

He reminds her of Clara, his old coworker, and that she confessed that she liked him; They might go on a date.

[Shelby pauses from unlocking the door. "That's..." She turns to him. "John, that's great!" "I know, right!"]

The two of them enter the house as John expresses his amazement at this; he never thought that anyone would ever ask him out?? He asks Shelby for advice- because she's gone on dates before, right?

[She winces. "Yeah, uh- I don't really do the whole dating thing anymore. I haven't had much luck with that."]

She suggests the dinner Song and Louis are planning on Monday- unless John wants a private date, something more intimate? But he thinks back to the hug earlier, and says the dinner would be a better idea. He can call them tomorrow and ask if he can bring a plus-one.

Shelby mentions she's going to go to bed. As she gets up from the couch, she puts a hand on his arm. She tells him she's glad he's happy, and heads off to her room.

Markus goes to get water, but the thing is that their window can actually look directly into the window to Shelby's room; They see her close the door and fall onto her bed, sobbing. They pull out their phone and call her. Shelby stops crying to answer it, and they ask if she's okay. She says she'll be fine.

["You know I'm only a phone call away," Markus offers. They watch as she reaches for a plushie and hugs it tight. "...Thanks." She says nothing else.]

---

Meanwhile, the Trio (comprising of Louis, Song, and Lestat) heads back to the casino, dressed in fabulous outfits. Lestat had fed earlier, and due to the life running through him he's able to show up in photos for a bit. They enjoy themselves, and are invited up to the second floor of the casino. It's grand, full of upper class ambience and elegant people at the tables- the Trio doesn't recognize anyone, but heads over to play one of the card games. There's a well-dressed man making his way to each group of people, chatting before moving on to then next group. Finally, he reaches these three and introduces himself as Mr. Grant, one of the people who helps run the Vault Casino. They compliment it, saying it's lovely.

Then Mr. Grant leans forward, asking Ms. Song O'Sullivan if he can speak to her privately- her eyes immediately go up to the security cameras (They're not looking at her). Louis gets bad vibes from this question and asks why can't all of them be there? Grant says its of a private and serious manner. Louis continues to object, and the man says it's about their.. extracurricular activities. (monster hunting?)

Song sends her boyfriends a telepathic message, telling them that if she's not back in five minutes they can raze this casino to the ground. They let her go; Louis starts a timer on his phone. Mr Grant leads her to the elevator, and they start to head up to the third floor- that's normally off-limits, isnt it?

A telepathic message from Song: "Third floor."

Two security guards approach Lestat and Louis, asking them to please come with them. Louis objects and Lestat tries to be civil, but the guards are firm. Lestat also has telepathy, as he had used it last season, and he sends Louis a message: He's trying real hard to not tear these guards apart, as he's working on being a better person, so it would be in both their best interests to comply. Besides, they've worked together before, he and Louis- they can fight their way out later if needed.

The vampire and Southern gentleman finally comply, and are lead to the elevator- but unlike Song, they start going down. Basement One.

Louis mentions they must be getting special treatment, then, if they're heading to an off-limits area! The security guards make a comment implying they've been bringing the supernatural folk (though they didn't quite use that phrasing, it was heavily implied) in town down to the basements- just for a little chat, is all.

["Well," said Louis, "If you know of those kinds of folk, then you surely know what me and my partner here are capable of?"]

Meanwhile, Song is on the third floor.

It's dark, with the only light source coming from below them; It's built almost like a balcony, with railings and windows that reveal the lower levels of the casino and everyone milling down below. The ceilings must be two-way mirrors.

There's a flick of a lighter from the far side of the room, and a dim glow as a cigarette is lit up. The lamps follow its lead, turning on and lighting up the place. There's a woman on the far end, holding a long cigarette holder. She's got the beauty of an old movie star, with an elegant red dress, a feathered boa, and long black gloves.

"What's wrong, darling?" She asks Song. Their eyes are the same color; a deep blood red.

"...No hug for your mother?"

Notes/Commentary:

SO MUCH HAPPENED THIS SESSION?? I LOVE IT HERE Also cheer for me, this one was almost entirely off memory. I'm so cool lmao

Why doesn't Analetta remember Louis? The way the DM played it seemed to be supernatural in nature... is it because Louis made a deal with the Devil? or is there something else to it?

Sorry, listen, i know i bring it up every time but Song's house getting blown up by gnomes is so wild to me. I love how that's a canonical thing.

Song with the sugar, pretty much:

"Would Shelby smoke weed?" "So fun fact I keep a list of everything we've ever learned about Shelby because I'm Normal about her-"

Shut up i lost it when Kyle finally showed up. He's only been mentioned and never shown, I feel like i met a celebrity /hj

I started YELLING at the white person smile comment i'm !!!!! OUGH i Knew it wouldve been awkward!!!

Those cats are so sentient. I'm calling it. Also do you think Jewel the employee mispells the customer names so they won't be taken by the fae who runs the cafe?? oh shit what if the cats were people-

During the cafe scene Markus's player sent a message in the chat like "Two autistic people flirting. beautiful <3"

I was so in-character!! /pos Not me going into my pockets like i had a flip phone in there aughgh

John never saying he liked Clara back!!! Only that he would like to try out dating!! bc thats what people do!!!! aaaa!!!!

There's some memory manipulation going on in that casino.

John and the hug was wild bc?? The dm was over here describing how she was small and I was all "well. might as well roll for hunger" and you would Not believe how badly I fucked that up lmao. I was going to spend a luck point; since the dm wasn't expecting me to roll for his hunger, though, he let me off the hook. Thanks DM <3

The "markus getting a car to make friends joke" was originally an ooc bit from earlier and then we just??? Acted it out? Love it here

SHUT THE UFKC UP IM GOING TO THROW MY CHAIR. ROOMMATE DUO ALWAYS HAD ANSGT POTENTIAL AND NOW ITS WORSE.

SHE LIKES HIM???? IM IN A LOVE TRIANGLE-

And Louis's player called it too!!! Like right before the scene that revealed Shelby likes John!!! Aaa!!! [Head in hands]

Also sorry that was Such a shock to me. I genuinely thought she was a lesbian

SONG'S MOTHER!?!?!?

That's why Greyson was doing this job thats why he said it was personal!! THATS HIS WIFE RUNNING THE PLACE!!! I thought she was dead!!!!!

We IMMEDIATELY ran to make theories about Song's mom: is she a demon? Is Song a pact child?? What if her mom's a dragon! Song has a fang earring doesn't she? Is the fact her mom's supernatural why she's so good at magic? What's her mother doing gathering all the supernatural folk anyway? Shaking my computer I WANT ASNWERS /lh

Hey. Hey DM. Is Emmett the AI man okay?? Why did you bring up the fact we havent heard from him in a while in the same breath as mentioning the casino's effect on our phones. SIR??? IS HE OKAY???

#eric finally speaks #motw campaign #john doe #the neighborhood watch #the neighborhood watch recap #monster of the week

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