#it’s called a committed relationship for a reason
Text
❝ i'm tired of feeling like im fucking crazy. ❞
- lana del rey, ride
"Reid." Hotch narrowed his eyes at him, "I apologize." Hotch continued.
"I don't." Spencer mumbled, just loud enough for Isabelle to hear, she bit her lip to stop a laugh from slipping out.
"We've heard those phrases before When we interview school shooters." Isabelle explained to the oblivious counselor.
Emily rushed into the room, "Jordan was the motive for Kyle Borden, it was revenge."
"I need to speak to the boys who made this video immediately."
"I'll check their class schedules." The counselor scrambled to his computer to find out, his face dropped immediately, "What is it?"
"None of them show up at school."
୨୧
The local police station smelled of finger printing ink and old coffee, Isabelle enjoyed the smell, it reminded her of when she was a detective for the nypd.
The team heard the familiar sound of Garcia urgently typing on her computer through the phone call, "He deleted everything but the one mpeg." She sighed.
"I'm walking Morgan through retrieving what he put in the trash, but-"
"We've got three missing kids, Garcia, we need access to Owen's E-Mail." Hotch clenched his jaw.
"The kid is tech savvy, sir, but fret not, I am tech savvier!" She exclaimed, "Is that a word? That sounds like a word, if it is a word, I am it!"
"Two alienated kids, no maternal presence, dysfunctional relationships with dominating fathers who with held love, they were made for each other." Rossi said.
Emily shook her head, "Mm, as lovers, yes, but partners in crime, no."
"There's nothing in Jordan's profile that indicates she's capable of violence, and certainly not murder."
"A new mpeg just posted to the school social networking site." Garcia breathed heavily, "He- you need to see this."
A video popped up on the screen, it was of three boys, all on their knees while their hands were on their head infront on a lake.
"It was a joke, man!" One of the boys said, "We didn't mean anything by it!" Another boy shouted, "It was 3 years ago, no one even remembers it." The last boy argued.
"I do." A voice behind the camera said.
"No, owen!" "Don't! Don't!" "Please! No-" The three boys pleaded, they were cut off by gunshots ringing out.
"Garcia, is there any way to trace the mpeg to the computer that sent it?"
୨୧
"Once you've heard the profile, you'll understand." Jj told the officers that were gathered around.
Hotch, Rossi, and Spencer went to the scene where the boys were killed and figured out Owen was collecting injustices- the perfect revenge.
"We are wasting time, Owen is here, and we should be knocking on doors." An officer argued.
"It's not a good idea." "And why is that?" "Because Owen's watching, he's monitoring the news, right now, he thinks you think he's gone, he feels safe."
"If we start knocking on doors, he's gonna know that he's not, he's gonna feel trapped."
"Why the hell should we care about this little bastard's feelings?" Another officer chimed in.
Isabelle gritted her teeth, "We're here to help you bring in Owen Savage with minimum loss of life, the profile tells us how to do that, if all you're gonna do is bitch and complain then you can leave." She scoffed.
Spencer smiled at her, "Owen Savage fits the profile of a type of school shooter known as an injustice collector, he's trying to avenge perceived wrongs."
"If he's a school shooter, why hasn't he hit the school yet?"
"Jordan. Most of these guys are so angry and hopeless, they just want to kill as many people as possible then commit suicide." Emily explained.
"But Jordan gives him a reason to live."
Isabelle glanced at Spencer 'He gives me a reason to live.' She thought.
Isabelle hated that in so twisted way she related to Owen- she almost felt bad for him in a way.
Growing up in a small town and constantly being the outsider- no matter how hard he tried to fit in and find the acceptance of his peers he never did.
"Otherwise he's a textbook case, his life was one torment after another, his teachers gave up on him, his classmates bullied him, and his father blamed him while giving him access to guns." Spencer said.
"Given these conditions, you're actually quite fortunate." He added.
"It sounds like you're saying these victims deserved this."
"We're not, nobody deserves this." Derek said.
"But you could have prevented it." Spencer lowered his eyes at the officer.
"Reid, can I talk to you?" Hotch said, it was framed as a question but was more of a statement.
The two walked into an empty conference room only a few moments later they exited, Spencer stormed to the exit of the precinct.
Isabelle walked over to Hotch, "He's going to the Savages' residence." Hotch whispered, his eyes still focused on Spencer.
"Can I go with him?" She asked, Hotch's eyes darted to her face, profiling her.
"It's just- his room was really interesting and insightful, his mirror was painted over indicating severe self hatred-" "You can go." Hotch cut her off.
Isabelle quickly ran to the parking lot, getting into the suv parked outside.
"What are you doing?" Spencer asked, "I'm going with you. Hotch said I could."
Spencer just nodded and started driving.
A few minutes into the drive he turned to Isabelle, "I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind." He admitted.
Isabelle immediately faced him, "I'm not." She lied, she wasn't just trying to convince him but herself as well.
Isabelle hated feeling crazy, when her feeling controlled her rather than her controlling them.
"I've seen the way you've been reacting this whole case." He looked to her.
"Isa, honey, I know you."
authors note!
sorry for the short chapter, next one will be longer trust🤞also i'm finally done with my school year so more consistent updates are afoot!
#jade’s works ⋆·˚ ༘ *#gay sullen girl#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#mgg#matthew gray gubler#fbi#fbi agent#alexa demie#fanfic
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bro I watched the this or that Smosh vid with the cheating question for the first time today
I’m actually fucking devastated about Keith, Angela, Amanda, and Olivia literally talking over and laughing at Damien for literally just saying you should hold your friends accountable
Like wtf do you mean he’s holding his standards too high????? For saying he’d hold cheaters accountable????? What????? You’re saying that if your friend told you they cheated you wouldn’t see them differently and want to hold them accountable????
Also Keith saying he has friends that have cheated and his response was “don’t do that. stay funky” bro what the hell do you mean?????
Idk why I keep getting attached to creators like I do bro I can’t keep going through this
Didn’t think it’d bother me this much but it actually really does idk
#smosh#smosh pit#damien haas#keith leak jr#amanda lehan canto#angela giarratana#olivia sui#random rant but wanted to post anyways#I know it was last year but I’m still gonna be sad idc#I can’t believe it brooooo#also Amanda and Olivia’s takes about the splitting bill one gave me an ick#broo I can’t keep doing this#I feel like their takes on the Reddit stories are usually good but then they say shit like this???#huh????#saw some comments bringing this up to#like it’s ok to want to hold strangers accountable but not ur own friends?????#ok ig#I’ve never really thought about the topic of cheating but when I do it boils my blood bro#if you’re in a committed relationship and you wanna have sex with someone else#fucking break up#it’s called a committed relationship for a reason#also cheating can be rlly dangerous#cause of stds and shit#I feel like that should be a no brainer but guess not💀💀💀
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello, sorry I just need someone to voice my op to since none of my circles read or watch OnK :'(
It's so weird to me how Akane's fans interpret that scene when the girls are filming an MV as Akane only having good intention and care for Kana, 'cuz imo even if there is, what she said was still one of her attemps to get Aqua to stay with her. Look at how things played out to her: her business bf wanted to break up, he even straight up refused sex when she offered, and now she found out that right after that he took Kana on to a proper date, Akane's chances were close to zero. She was grasping at straws when she said that and played it under the guise of being considerate about Kana's safety, just like how she said she's okay with breaking up with him yet cried - showing that she wanted the opposite. Because if she only cared about Kana's safety, then what's with the side comment about how actors have it easier? It's like she was saying "Choose me, I'm the safer choice!". I'm not saying Akane didn't have good intention, but it's more like a two bird one stone typa thing where she wanted Kana to be safe and Aqua to continue with dating her (her own selfish want). It was kinda a dirty move from Akane, consider how she knows very well what happened to Ai and how much that'll affects Aqua. Akane always strike me as a good in nature yet also self-absorbed character: She decided what's best for both Kana and Aqua that also benefits her selfish wants regardless of how the other two would feel (& we all know how miserable both Aqua and Kana was during that ghosting period); She decided what to do to Aqua's father without thinking about how he might feel (again); The signs were as early as the LoveNow arc where she tweeted the apology thinking it was the right solution without consulting with her manager first because she thought she knew what was best for her to do in that situation. Even her acting method also kinda reflect this, where if the character's portrayal clashes between her and the director/scriptwriter, she already has a concrete image of the character from her own interpretation and thus has difficulty compromising and adjusting with the production team.
I might even take a wild guess that she was in love (obsessed) with the idea of saving prince charming rather than Aqua himself because to her, their story literally went/was gonna go like the old classic story of prince charming saving the girl -> the girl learns about the prince's past, decides to help him to repay him saving her -> prince charming defeats the bad guy (his dad in this story) with the girl's help -> happily ever after. Akane being a teen + Aqua saved her + it's her first dating experience caused her to have an idealistic view of dating and probably why she tolerated Aqua dating her despite having his eyes on Kana for he did act like the perfect bf on the surface, and that to her was enough to fulfil her prince charming fantasy. Akane is, actually, not that mature in her relationship with Aqua like how her fan keep praising her for, tbh imo it's more akin to what teens think "being mature" is. I know this is one of the appeal of her ship with Aqua, even though some might deny it. As oppose to Kana who might be a potential obstacle to Aqua's revenge whether good or bad, Akane is narratively there as a bonus reward for Aqua after finishing the main quest of avenging his mom if the ship ever be canon again. Akane and Aqua have unfortunately became perfect self-inserts for those who are into revenge and/or trophy girl fantasy (nothing bad about this itself tho). But perhaps because of looking into those fantasy fulfilment rather than the actual context of the manga/anime, they accuse Kana of not understanding the "real" Aqua (I have alot to say about this, maybe 3 paragraphs at least lol) or how she's useless for not helping him kill a person and ignore the entire other half chunk of the story about showbiz problems, where Kana's own story entangle more.
If you've read this far, thank you so so much.
P/s: My wild guess no.2, rather than being a damsel in distress (being Kamiki's target) for Aqua to come rescue, Kana already has a close relationship with Kamiki prior to reuniting with the twins (maybe a mentor-student relationship?). I've always find it weird how Aka just glossed over Kana's past, like he's holding back important info regarding her past that he can't show the readers too soon. So that's why I have this guess. This explains why Aka's been keeping her out of the revenge plot for so long + better than Kana just being a damsel in distress + raises the stakes for Kana (will she choses the mentor who helped her through her dark days being abused by her mom or the twins who she can see the light and bright future in?) + makes Kana a key player in the revenge plot.
Hey Anon! I'm happy to talk to you about some OnK Character Analyses anytime. Sorry to have taken so long to respond, I really wanted to sit down with your question. I've been thinking about this a lot. And I'm afraid my response might be even longer than your ask hahaha!
I want to summarize your main points for everybody else, so that we're all on the same page:
Akane was manipulative when she reminded Aqua that Kana was an idol, and pushed him to choosing her.
Akane wants to reverse the damsel-in-distress and Prince Charming trope, and decides on behalf of others.
Akane fans accuse Kana for not knowing the "real" Aqua
(Bonus) There's a possibility that Kana already knew Hikaru Kamiki.
So, my responses:
#1 Was Akane being manipulative in Ch. 76?
Well, yes. And no.
I actually had a short discussion (argument?) with Skania (who I will not tag for the sake of their mental health, but mentioning here to credit them.) about this very topic. (And I want to thank them for their time and also apologize to have annoyed them!) We have really different interpretations and disagree each other on this part.
To get the fast answer out of the way: Yes, I believe Akane was wholly aware of what she was saying.
She already knew from the Tokyo Blade arc how badly Aqua can get triggered on the topic of Ai's death.
Put it this way: imagine being a teenage girl who was depressed or bullied, and the boy who saved your life started dating you but admits that it isn't because he likes you that way. You start offering him sex if that would fulfill his wants in a relationship, but he tells you that your relationship is about to end soon. You find out from another girl that they went on a date--shopping for suitcases and Brazilian barbecue--a kind of date he never did for you. Then when he invited you to go on a trip, most of what he did was walk you around his hometown to look for something else, and then watch this other girl be really cute in a dress he was stunned by.
Akane is allowed to be a teenager who would want to nudge her boyfriend to stay with her and away from his other crush.
Akane fans like to argue that she was being completely selfless, and was just looking out for Kana's safety too.
I really dislike this reading of Akane's character, because it strips her of agency. Of course she has personal goals, wants, and flaws. She's allowed to be a teenage girl who wanted her love to be reciprocated. She's allowed to be a teenage girl who gets a little jealous, and try as she might to be professional and civil because all of these people are her work colleagues too, she still does things that fulfill her goals. She is allowed to be self-interested, and act on opportunities that align with those self interests.
I also think that if Akane's fans want to believe in her intellect and her masterful ability in understanding people's psychology and detective work, then it stands to reason that they should also believe that Akane was deliberately aware of the effect of what she said to Aqua. She doesn't always make 100% correct bets, but it's reasonable to conclude she made this bet hoping that it could get him to stay.
Akane and everyone else is already aware that Kana is actually not a person who needs scolding on the dangers of being under public scrutiny:
Under any normal circumstance, if Akane simply cared for Kana's safety, she would have simply responded to Kana when she was bragging about the date. Like, "hey be careful about dating in public spaces okay? I dont want you getting in trouble." Or, if she would talk to Aqua about it, she might say, "Please remember to book a private room next time you eat in a restaurant."
But no. If Akane would remind them of safety tips of dating as public figures, it would just lead them to the advice to do Home Dates:
And she doesn't want that now, does she?
She didn't say something as straightforward as that, and neither did the author write it in a more neutral tone. It was deliberately written with Akane implying that if he didn't want Kana killed, he should just date a fellow actor. (Preferably one that the public is actually cheering on to be together, because they were already in a Love Team due to the show.)
I just don't like ignoring what the Author and the Illustrator clearly put on the page for me to absorb the way that it was. I think pretending she was being wholly selfless is an insult to the writers.
#2 Is Akane motivated by the want to Save Prince Charming?
This is the "and no" part of my answer.
When I think of Akane, I don't think of an outright evil person who manipulated Aqua into doing things, wanting to be a hero for that reason. And just like how Tokyo Blade serves as a parallel for the show, it in turn informs us that it is an incorrect interpretation of Saya-hime (or Akane) to think that she outright wants the violence herself.
This part I agree with Skania on: Akane's main flaw is her low self-esteem.
Akane doesn't personally believe that she is inherently worth any value, and any value that she holds is attributed to her hard work.
People have taken notice to the fact that, unlike Kana's experience of abuse and abandonment, Akane had a really good support system behind her when her suicide attempt happened during the LoveNow arc. She had a loving mother and a really kind-hearted manager that believed in her. Yet she clung onto the validation from the agency President more. She ascribes her personal value to the approval of other people, especially positive feedback from her superiors in the industry, her theater troupe calling her a genius, her fans applauding her.
And, on the opposite side of the same coin, she has immense Rejection Sensitivity that makes her extremely defensive when she received cyberbullying, leading her to want to make a public apology right away and appease people.
This leads Akane to be an extremely hardworking person, but also seeking validation and direction from other people (like the LoveNow crew), unable to voice out her views unless it is supported by an authority figure (like when she wanted something changed in Tokyo Blade), and also why when meeting her personal hero and idol Arima Kana in person, when Kana lashed out at her, instead of simply thinking, "okay she's a terrible person, I'm done with being her fan forever", she rejected that idea and went on to study Psychology in the hopes of understanding people like Kana.
All of this manifests in her relationship with Aqua being okay with receiving bare minimum from him, not complaining when she realizes he has feelings for someone else, and also doing anything and everything for him, whatever he needs whether he asks for it or not.
I'll go a little further into my interpretation of her (which I know Akane fans might be resistant to or disagree with, but I hope you stick with me here.)
I also think Akane has a co-dependency on Aqua, and herself has Inverted Narcissism, with Covert and Cerebral Subtypes.
I agree! I sound nuts! This interpretation is crazytown.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has several subtypes, including Inverted Narcissism, which is a subtype where the person craves the co-dependency on another narcissist. They are self-sacrificing to their primary narcissist, feel they are not entitled to anything, but seem emotionally level-headed and highly attuned to the primary narcissist's needs but not much empathy for anybody else.
Because of how little they think of themselves, it gives them a feeling of power and control to be with a person who believes himself to be so special, to have a crucial mission whose victory she can partake in. In a sense, Aqua was someone Akane looked up to so much for having saved her from her suicide attempt, and for turning the public's view of her from negative to overwhelmingly popular.
Akane definitely thought, "I want to be useful to him! I want to make him happy!"
And this man had his own amazing detective mission going on in his mind and trauma to solve. And so Akane thinks, "Let me solve that for you! Let me be useful to you even if it kills me! Use me as you need!"
They say true love is unconditional and self-giving so I will aide my enabler in patricide to prove my worth to him!
According to Professor of Psychology Sam Vaknin, the DSM gives us 9 criteria to diagnose an Inverted Narcissist, and you need to have at least 5 to qualify. Here are some that he mentioned that I think fit Akane:
The inverted narcissist is emotionally stable, but her self-esteem is very low. The inverted narcissist devalues herself as an offering, as a sacrifice to the narcissist in her life. The inverted narcissist is compelled to filter all her narcissistic needs through the primary narcissist in her life. The inverted narcissist feels amplified by the primary narcissist's own accomplishments.
The inverted narcissist is pre-occupied with fantasies [...] of an ideal love to be accomplished through the narcissistic partner.
The inverted narcissist feels like she is undeserving and not entitled to anything.
The inverted narcissist is indistinguishably selfless. She is sacrificial. She is anxious in her interpersonal relationships. She avoids assistance of others at all cost. She can only interact with others when she can be seen to be giving, supporting and expending an unusual effort to assist. So she is sacrificial, she sacrifices herself, but ostentatiously, in full view.
The inverted narcissist lacks empathy like a classic narcissist. She is intensely attuned to others needs, but only insofar as it relates to her own need to perform the required self sacrifice. She needs to self sacrifice in order to obtain her narcissistic supply from her primary narcissist. But to do so, she must be attuned to his needs. So this is her restricted use or leverage of empathy.
The inverted narcissist displays extreme shyness, lack of any real relational connections, is publicly self-effacing, is highly moralistic and critical of others, is a perfectionist, engages in lengthy ritualistic behaviors that can never be perfected.
I also mentioned that Akane has Cerebral subtype, in that she believes she has superior intellect, and the Covert subtype, where she seems altruistic and selfless on the outside but internally she is driven by a self-serving need to be useful, to be wanted, because she chases after this external validation to fill in the gaps of her own self-esteem and call to perfectionism.
There is room to argue that Aqua is actually the inverted narcissist and she's codependent on Akane who is the altruistic/communal narcissist subtype. I reviewed it, but it seems she's the codependent one in this scenario.
I think this answer entails that Aqua himself also has NPD, and I think he does have Vulnerable Narcissism with Cerebral subtype. Kana actually picked up on it pretty well:
He does tend to think that he is the sole person who can accomplish this mission of revenge, even though it took him 4 years to crack a passcode and he actually didn't solve anything himself. Like, ever.
He thinks that he has some superior ability to read people and manipulate them (and it's not necessarily true, he just believes so).
And he likes bringing it up out loud a lot, like I used you, or haha she's so easy to manipulate, regardless if he actually did anything.
When Ruby points out he hasn't made any friends, Aqua deflects and becomes defensive.
He also initially thought that he was going to make it big as an actor after the one time he did well as a child, and entreated Gotanda to take him in, but when his PTSD was getting in the way of his acting, he just chalked it up to saying no actually I was never talented in that, because he doesn't want to admit to others that he doesn't have the supernatural inhumane acting skills he thought he did. (Note: He's not comfortable showing those old acting videos to Kana, but is okay with showing it to Akane for this reason.)
He truly believes he's everybody's savior. Unprompted he just thinks he's some main character that caused everybody's suffering. His Behavioral Self-Blame (BSB) about the death of both of his mothers is a manifestation of his wish for control over the situation, which is a known coping mechanism for those with PTSD or Major Depression Disorder (MDD)
Vulnerable NPD subtypes also feel uncomfortable being praised, which is why he reacts that way with Kana.
Vulnerable NPD subtypes also hate being asked to compete, which is why during both LoveNow and Tokyo Blade arcs, he keeps out of the way.
Vulnerable NPD subtypes really really hate rejection, and that's why Aqua says that he can't confront Kana without a Pieyon mask because he's too weak to be shot down by her again.
Vulnerable NPD subtypes are quite anti-social, but again if you confront them about it, they'll just deflect you and say things like they had no intentions to make friends or they're busy observing or something like this.
I mean, look at this dumbass intellectualize having feelings for girls his age like Akane and Kana:
Kana gets it though:
ONLY A NARCISSIST WOULD (half-joke)
This is of course a reminder that people with NPD aren't inherently bad people, they also don't come in one shape or form as there are many subtypes, and they can swing in severity. Most of them are a by-product of either a traumatic childhood or an overly doting one. Akane and Aqua just simply happened to be both of these.
I just came to this interpretation when I kept thinking of why was it that it felt like both Akane and Aqua were using each other. They both felt miserable and yet felt necessary and dependent on each other's emotional comfort. They both lie to each other too. I think a lot of people have picked up on the "feeling" that the two are using, manipulating, abusing each other, there's something dysfunctional about them together, and yet they also genuinely care about each other a lot. And people couldn't pick the right words to describe that. Co-dependents and their primary narcissists can heal together into a healthy relationship, they don't have to stay that way forever. But for the most part, nobody really recognizes that that's what was happening, because the dance they do together looks completely synchronized as a relationship. Who ever says no to a sweet and completely self-giving girlfriend? Who would leave their boyfriend to die alone in a revenge plot?
ONLY A NARCISSIST WOULD (not joking)
#3 Does Kana know the real Aqua:
I think a lot of Akane fans love to cite that Akane knew about the revenge, the trauma, the using, the manipulation etc. She also knows what he's like when he's being silly and playful.
And I don't deny that Aqua and Akane cared for each other.
But I also think that Kana knew Aqua even when he was being unpleasant, making crude jokes about her when they were kids. Kana observes Aqua's acting meticulously and understands the fine details of his style. Kana also has actual conversations with him about his interests too. They read the same books and they jog together, and they're very comfortable arguing with each other about anything.
Most of all, of anybody, only Kana has pointed out that Aqua has chuunibyou/grandiose thinking, narcissistic tendencies, and that Ruby has a co-dependent relationship with him (even when she didn't know about their past as Sarina and Gorou, she just picked it up as the core reason for their clinginess).
#4 [Bonus] Does Kana know Kamiki?
I don't think so.
When Kamiki opened his production company/agency, Kana would have been about 11yo. It was around this time that she had been recording Full Moon and her other songs, and her career had been on a decline. Then her company left her and she started freelancing instead.
Kana's acting style is also diametrically opposed to Kamiki's acting. Which as Akane has pointed out is similar to Ai's acting style. Kana's acting is very emotionally honest and is rooted in her personal understanding of her own emotions, whereas Kamiki and Ai act to deceive others based on the calculated perception they know the audience wants of them. Given this, it's unlikely that Kamiki mentored her in any form.
Lastly, I think Kana would have been the first person to point out that Kamiki looks like Aqua if they knew each other, even if he was acting as the Miki-san persona.
But I did joke before that I think if Kana and Kamiki met each other, they'd just traumabond and be friends until the cops haul Kamiki away. And that'd be the funniest thing ever.
That's it! That was a very long rant. Thanks for the question.
#Oshi No Ko#Oshi No ko Spoilers#oshi no ko fan theories#Arima Kana#Hoshino Aqua#Kurokawa Akane#i didn't originally think that akane had inverted narcissism#actually i first did think she was being manipulative#skania was right about some stuff about how akane didn't really think she was doing anything selfishly#but that in and of itself was a problem like she was just so willing to help aqua commit patricide and happy to be geotracked and offer sex#it was so dysfunctional and anybody calling it out has a good reason to feel that way#even if my diagnosis of them was incorrect it's still true that their relationship was extremely unhealthy
74 notes
·
View notes
Note
I love fics where Peter is actually a little shit cause most writers write him as a sweet cinnamon roll. And sure he is that when it comes to morals, but have you guys met a 14 year old? I am the oldest sibling and i promise you I have met every version of a shithead teenager under the fucking sun. And yes ALL of them are shitheads who WILL lie if they think it's funny or just for the kicks of it to any and all authority figures (i still do it and I'm 16)
In response to the Bernie's fic
he really gets the sweet summer child treatment in fandom and it really shows that a lot of fic writers have never spent extended time with a teenager in their life. like, i was a math tutor for a while, and like. a teenager myself for a FEW years, and you will NOT find a demographic more down to commit felonies for shits and giggles. i can't even say that he reads like a much younger kid, because honestly, fandom peter doesn't really read like a real person at all to me. like, he's insane. he's a good person. but he is insane. this is fundamental to him.
#there are few core traits of peter#he is good#he is principled#he is clinically insane#he has a pathological attachment to committing to the fucking bit#you do not go your entire life in a spider-themed onesie and not rebrand if you are not committed to the bit#fandom peter is honestly weird to me#he's like. so babified.#like i know everyone wants him to have more and more father figures but you are not going to find a teenager alive who is willing to start#calling a guy they just met dad and start hugging him and all that jazz#it's honestly baffling#like fandom peter simply could not cut it on the streets i am sorry to say#there are some absolute golden fics that profoundly understand peter and the authors are stars and the fics are god tier#but a lot of fandom spiderman stuff is disappointing because he's sort of infantilized and not given many characteristics past loving tony#and like don't get me wrong you can absolutely have a close relationship with peter and tony#but a lot of them are like. borderline unhealthy levels of hero worship#like he is spider-man for a reason and that reason is he was willing to fling his own human body off a fucking building for the aesthetic#i love my peters that are worrisome forces of chaos#if an adult does not age 1000 years after knowing him a day#then he is not chaotic enough
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel insane i feel so insane. i feel so goddamn fucking insane. feels like my sisters won't allow me to even be civil to them anymore every interaction ends up with all 3 of them insulting me and when I tell them shit like "you're being mean" or "i don't think that criticism is coming from a place of love" they just try and justify themselves and insult me more. no one is on my side but I'm so so convinced that if an outside party came and observed what was happening they would see i'm being bullied. maybe i am insane. maybe there's a reason no one is on my side. i know i'm not perfect but goddamn. i love them so much and it feels like they hate me. i can say the world's most neutral statement ever and one of them'll have a snide and insulting comment about it and then everyone acts like i'm being unreasonable if i react. and again if i call them out and i say "you're being mean. do you not see what you're doing? you're being mean." they all just get excused bc apparently me having a hard time with filtering what i say and having debilitating executive dysfunction is "traumatizing" and their bullying is a trauma response. and they won't let me even fix my behavior bc if i say something that contradicts my past behavior they'll be like "oh so NOW u care about that. you don't actually care 🙄" can i do fucking anything. can i do fucking ANYTHING.
(through gritted teeth) my big sister's coming back from washington next week. next week she's coming back from washington. i think she'll be able to recognize what's happening, right? like if they do it in front of my parents then they'll probably do it in front of her too. but ofc my parents don't care. they are actively against my side in this.
#talk tag#the other day my godsister said i love myself more than anything else and the only thing i actually care about is being right#and i said 'you're being mean.'#and she just said 'it's true :/'#also in that conversation i got accused of ruining birthdays#apparently. my baby sisters birthday was ruined bc i called her a hypocrite about smth to do with juice...#like she was getting on everyone else for drinking some kinda juice and then she asked me to get her some of that same juice#and i made a joke calling her a hypocrite and that apparently ruined her birthday.#i didn't mean to hurt her feelings and i am sorry that i did. but. hm.#and then i apparently ruined my little sisters birthday bc i defended polyamory as a valid relationship type that can work out#and be committed. but everyone got mad at me bc they think commitment and exclusivity are the same thing#so polyamory apparently is inherently non commital and can never work out for everyone involved bc of that. but that just... isnt true#and i was calm the whole time i was making my points. ppl being angry when they argue doesn’t make their points less valid but i think#'polyamory is fine and works for a lot of ppl u just gotta communicate' is SUCH a silly take to get mad at. mind your business!!#they get very mad at me very often and it is usually bc i said smth to the tune of 'don't be a dick'#and sometimes it's for literally no reason and they get angrier when i react#my big sister's coming home soon. she'll be home next week. maybe she'll see. she at least wont be actively against me. lmao
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Primadonna Girl X How to be a Heartbreaker ♥︎
#deni's stuff#deni's art#oc tag#oc: fross#oc art#oc x canon#fross x verbena#horizon oc#horizon au#again. it's a CRACK SHIP mind you. i'm not taking it seriously lmao#it's just amusing to me to headcanon them as exes who hate each other now as much as they did when they were together lol#and that's JUST because they're the only zeniths close enough to each other in age. they didn't have any other options :/#but what? am i supposed to believe that these two spent hundreds of years stuck on sirius and DIDN'T even kiss once??? i call bs#no strings attached of course! they are both acutely aware of the nature of their relationship lol#fross knows that verbena can't commit. verbena knows that fross is the anon sending her holo death threats to pass the time#if looks could kill. tilda would've pulverized verbena centuries ago#it's truly a lose-lose-lose. they deserve each other and that's not a compliment. were i a judge i wouldn't let them get a divorce.#the only reason fross didn't laugh when verbena died is because it was a sharp reminder of his own mortality as a zenith. yeah lol#but jokes about zeniths being the worst aside! actually really content with the posing and faces here. i feel like i've improved a lot :')#i actually put effort into this lol but i don't regret it
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
im literally like. dumb
#it’s not like physically possible for me to like someone who isn’t unavailable or without some sort of like. circumstance attached#the whiplash of texting the ex of someone in the friend group (she still likes them)#to texting my best friend who has a girlfriend#like to text someone in a fun detached way and immediately text the reason I’m detached#fun thought experiment is would they have even flirted with me if best friend was there#obvs he has a girlfriend there’s no reason he should be an inhibitor#and yet however heavily I flirt with everyone else that’s like half of how we act not even flirting#obviously not flirting. again. girlfriend committed four year long relationship etc etc#but I mean would there have even been like an opening to flirt with me#I’ve gotten comments before from people saying they were worried they were flirting with me too much in front of him cause we look#like we’re together or at least a thing#which is like horrifying and also feeding into my delusions and also impossible#and i really just assume he knows but he likes being liked so he lets it happen#but it’s not like. one sided affection as in there’s no way to call me into question without calling him into question as well#which you can’t. he’s in a relationship#a terrible (but I’m a masochist so actually it’s kind of fun) situation to be in#講話
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don’t really care abt spock or chapel as characters but i’m being compelled by my status as a passive aggressive bisexual to ship them because other people are annoying and i approve of fighting fire with fire.
#i do not dislike either of them it's just i... am not gripped#in any way#but i am so Very sick of fandom viewing bisexuality as good Only if#a character already in a m/f relationship they Like so they can ship them in a gay ship and call them bi#but if they like a character who is in a gay relationhip and they so much as Look at another gender suddenly#a war crime has been committed by the writers of the thing#i ship too many things for these reasons don't make me do it again#(for the record in this situation fanon is so entrenched that even tho he's Not in a gay relationship he may as well be)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
new relationship status: unofficially in a unlabeled platonic partnership with my best friend
#personal#the reason it's unofficial and unlabeled is bc if any Weight was added to our relationship and anything changed abt the way we are#my aro ass would Not be able to handle that lmao#but we've been talking a lot lately about Us and relationships generally and realized that half the reason#neither of us have ever wanted to get married/date/whatever is bc /we/ are each other's People until death do us part#the very thought of anyone coming into our lives that would have to match each other in importance is awful to both of us#she's my number one and i'm hers and nothing has changed about our relationship other than professing our Commitment to each other#that we'll always walk through the world together and any really big decisions will be made collaboratively or with the other in mind#which is a big ol' RELIEF to me bc that's how i've always felt about her but i never thought someone who's not aro would return that#but she was literally the one to bring it up like 'i always feel weird calling what we have a friendship bc i have friends and i have you#and it's not the same thing'#IDK MAN THIS IS PROBABLY OVERSHAREY BUT IT'S A REALLY BIG DEAL TO ME AND I'M REALLY HAPPY#I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS#and i love that she's always called me her 'other half' and now that's more than just a turn of phrase <3
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
im sooo sick of the fics where ppl are exaggeratedly disgusted or exasperated with wx for just showing affection in public and calling them shameless and they're treated as being in the right/reasonable/polite/considerate/'appropriate' or what have you. like there's only so much you can play with canon-typical homophobia before it becomes clear you're just being unironically homophobic. literally there's nothing wrong with kissing in public or expressing affection verbally/physically or yeah even having sex in the woods like that's fine? even if within the setting that's a little shocking you don't have to like, agree with the people being all scandalized. but on the flipside writing them as having zero boundaries and having sex where they know kids could see them is also so creepy can you people just be normal about them they're adults and their judgement isn't that bad
#there's a way to explore how the homophobia of the setting and both of their relationships with shame and judgement#impact how they act once they're in a relationship but it's not this. it just feels so shallow and in bad faith#and like the writers want to just make shitty jokes instead of actually exploring it or push the boundaries or make any commentary#if I have to read one more jc pov where he calls his brother disgusting for being publicly in love and is presented as the normal#and reasonable one bc gay affection is sooo gross and an attack on him to witness im going to commit arson#yeah idk if 'it's how siblings behave' that's extremely shitty and 100% uncritically homophobic#actually this extends to wx referencing their sex life at all. like with adults tmi maybe but it's not like terrible ppl will survive#it CAN be funny in its unexpectedness but nobody rly seems to take that route#edit: in canon idk if they even have an exhibition kink but it was implied that a small child was traumatized from seeing them kissing#or something so idk what was up with that#ficblogging
1 note
·
View note
Text
Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
#anxiety#long post#i have been an adult for the better part of a decade and it has gotten SO much easier as i internalized these#swearing tw
48K notes
·
View notes
Text
When asked “what is wrong with hierarchies?” the almost-universal answer goes like this: “I was in a relationship with this person who had a primary partner with whom they lived. It went well for the first few dates but then as things started to escalate slightly we had a big adventure planned. The day of the adventure my partner called/texted and informed me that they were unable to go out on this date because of something that happened to their primary partner/my metamour.” The thing that’s usually happened to the metamour in this scenario can most accurately be summed up as they stubbed their emotional toe on some household furniture and demanded that the partner stay home to soothe the ache. It is an unfair situation to the secondary partner and a clear display of couple’s privilege. (readyforpolyamory.com)
#my first poly relationship with someone who had a primary just ended#for exactly this reason#call me crazy but i just don't think a couple is stable enough for polyamory if they need to play games to test their partner's commitment#and let the third party suffer as a result#sorry for this rant#polyamory
1 note
·
View note
Text
Simon wasn’t the jealous type. He knew you loved him, and his size alone was enough to scare away men who tried to make a move on you. Easy. But then your childhood best friend announced their return from abroad, and he was shocked to hear it was a guy, but he never let it show.
Jealous!Simon who one day casually asked you if he had a girlfriend. Secretly he was hoping you would say he was only into men, but you went into details about how his last relationship with a lovely girl ended a month ago. “Tragic story, really,” you said with a sigh. “Sometimes I think he’s secretly in love with someone else.”
Jealous!Simon who had to bite his tongue for weeks after the announcement, having no choice but to silently tolerate your constant chatting with him either via calls or messages. Every time your phone went off with a notification, he felt like taking the device from you and throwing it against the wall.
Jealous!Simon who gave you a lift to the airport to pick him up. “I have time, it’s not a problem,” he told you, but the real reason was quite simple. He wanted to make sure that guy understood you had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who was committed, a boyfriend who loved you very much, a boyfriend he had no chance against.
Jealous!Simon who began to feel like a third wheel in his own home whenever your friend came over. A photo of him was probably placed next to the word perfect in the dictionary. He was younger than him, skin immaculate and missing the scars he had after long years on the battlefield, had a proper white collar career like you, and he still remembered little things about you, like what your favorite chocolate flavor was.
Jealous!Simon who got harsher in bed as his frustration began to grow. You didn’t complain, but he knew you were aware of when his behavior in bed usually changed. So you started to do little things for him, like baking his favorite cookies or learning how to make his favorite cocktail to make him feel better.
Jealous!Simon who overheard a conversation your friend had with someone, telling them about how you had a scary guard dog who made it impossible for him to get you in his bed, and how stupid you were for not seeing you deserved better. He had pulled out his phone at the beginning of the conversation to record it as evidence, and he was smiling to himself the whole time knowing you would probably go no contact with him after the way your friend talked about both you and him.
Happy!Simon who stood by your side with his fingers laced with yours and a satisfied smirk on his lips as you showed the video to your friend in your living room, watching him with an angry look on your beautiful face. When he tried to explain himself, you just raised your hand and told him to get the fuck out of your apartment.
Happy!Simon who finally fell asleep with you in his arms without worrying about that idiot.
#call of duty#modern warfare#mw2#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#mw3
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
—what a loser! | c.bg
୨୧ synopsis. hearing rumours of your sex life travel around your campus for the first time has you standing in front of the very person that you’re convinced is responsible. your secret fuck buddy.
୨୧ warnings. stoner!gyu, bratty sub!beomgyu, mean femdom, humiliation kink, VERY public, hair pulling, hate sex kind of, cunnilingus, use of pet, fuck buddies, reader has a priest dad, bit of a toxic dynamic
“Why’re you here?” he mumbles casting his eyes down to his feet as he idly skates around, not paying you even a little bit of eye contact or actual acknowledgement.
“Can we talk somewhere else? More private?”
He ignores you.
You huff, rolling your eyes, adjusting the bag on your shoulder. The sun had already set, there were even less people out—no one was skating around at this hour but Beomgyu. “Why—" you take a breath, already feeling yourself get emotional and angry, “Why did you go around telling people about us?”
There’s a few reasons circling your head. Attention, bragging rights—attention was a big one but you hoped, no, a part of you believes it was an accident. That he let the information slip from his lips when he was drunk, or out of his right mind. But with the way he’s acting, it’s getting harder to hold on to the belief that Beomgyu was misunderstood and not just a fucking asshole.
Too much time goes by with silence and you think hes blatantly ignoring you again, but then he halts his skating, taking the time to run a hand through his hair. Hair that you’ve regretfully played with days on end, twirling strands around your finger, giggling as if the foundation you’ve built your relationship on wasn’t such a fragile fire that could be snuffed out in seconds if not the tiniest bit careful.
Look where you are now.
“Dunno, ‘cuz I can.”
His eyes are on you, bangs parted, looking straight at you. You can’t get it out of your mind, how the ends of his lips twitched up as he said that. Bitch. Fucking bitch.
He finds this amusing. A game. Your reputation was a game to him. Of course it is. He never took anything serious, not his career, not his relationships, not his future—he never cared.
Your nostrils flare as you stomp large strides towards him, charging and shoving his chest, having him stumble backwards off his board, dryly laughing. “The goody two shoes about to commit an assault?”
“Oh fuck off, you wouldn’t dare try suing me. God, I hate you so much. You’re such a—such a fucking loser!” you yell.
That wiped off the cocky demeanour.
“Here’s some two cents for you, I couldn’t give less of a fuck about whatever this is between us. I really couldn’t. But you—” your face gets heated up, pointing a finger at him. “You will never find anything better than what I gave you. And you’re going to live with that.”
He scoffs like he’s unbothered but it’s so clear with the way he clenches his jaw afterwards he’s pissed—it hit a spot. Good. Good, let him be hurt.
“What do you even—what did you gain by telling everybody my sex life? Having people call me a slut? Some sick pleasure from being superior to me for once? Attention? Huh? Why’re you acting out now?” Your eyes are narrowed as they implore answers out of him, searching his face and eyes, anything, anything that you can read from his unbearable silence.
“Yeah.”
You blink confused. “What?”
“Yeah, I wanted the attention. Happy now?” He walks to shoulder you but you let out a scoff, holding him back by his arm and pushing him in front of you again.
“You can’t for one second act like a man can you? You just run away from everything!” you feel like you could rip out your hair with how frustrating hes being.
“If you’re just going to stand there and insult me like a bitch I might as well just go and do something fucking productive.” he spits.
Your cheeks heat up and you think for the first time you understand the phrase of seeing red. Hes been poking and poking and poking with his nonchalance then later smugness then going onto just straight up disrespect—he was really pushing you. So he should’ve expected the hand that goes to strike him against his face—your chest rising up and down, brows furrowed deeply.
A faint red hand print blooms across his cheek, and his jaw falls slack, eyes blown out and wide. You suddenly grab him by the back of his hair, no doubt burning his scalp with the way he lets out a loud hiss. “I fucking hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.”
You’re so close to his face and everything about the way he’s looking at you gives you the chills. You hate him. You do. He’s insane, he’s selfish, he’s rude, he’s—
A shaky lopsided grin still manages to break from his face, “No you don’t.”
And that was your last straw.
The addictive nature about Beomgyu is what kept you coming back over and over again—he never lead, he just let you…take him. And sometimes, at a point of your life where you feel like everythings being controlled for you, not having the choice to make the decisions you like, this somewhat served as an outlet.
That’s the more…reasonable explanation.
The other explanation is simple. He’s so fucking sexy.
The way he still melts into a kiss so harsh and mean, attempting to cup your cheeks, but immedietely dropping it when he feels your disapporval, his whimpers already picking up, not taking any incentive to breathe as if this kiss was enough to keep him alive; it’s those little things that have you up in the middle of the night thinking about him. Him.
Beomgyu, the stereotypical bad-boy stoner hipster outcast—the antithesis of everything present in your picture perfect life—he keeps you up at night. The mix of weed and his hilariously bad attempt at covering it with febreeze and cologne wafts your scent, it overwhelms you, but you still can’t get enough. Everything annoying about him disappears when he’s touching you.
“Why? Why do you keep doing this?” you say, finally being able to pull away from him—only after you had jerked on his hair harsher.
His lips are swollen, red and glistening—he looks pretty like this. He really does. But those lips always end up saying something to piss you off. “Keep doing what? Letting everyone know how you really are? Not actually the good girl you pretend to be, huh.”
You don’t know if he’s goading you on purpose because he likes it rough, or if he’s just being an asshole in general. It doesn’t matter. If he’s going to act like a brat, he’ll get treated like one.
Your knuckles had turned white with how hard you were gripping his hair so it feels relieving when you finally let it go. He tries to lean in to chase after your lips again, but you have your hands on his chest to stop him.
The flash of panic in his eyes when you step back from him is hilarious, it really is. It tells you everything you need to know. He wants you. He really wants you. He doesn’t care if you hit him or ruin his life, he wants you.
If his next words are any indication. “Hey, hey what are you doing? Where are you going?”
You walk to sit on a step of the stairs. “Do you think I’m a slut? Is that why you thought you had the audacity? Surely because otherwise if you respected me you wouldn’t have spread those rumors about me.”
He huffs out a laugh, the biggest reaction you’ve gotten out of him so far. He also walks to get closer to you. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You haven’t even come up with one single reason that would paint me in a better light. You really do see me as a fucking douchebag loser.” He’s clearly getting emotional with the way his voice gets higher pitched, the nonchalant front cracking, his lips slightly trembling.
“Because that’s what you are. Douchebag. Loser. You’re. A. Loser. Choi Beomgyu.”
You can see his fists clench at his sides, tight lipped. If you knew any better, you think he might’ve just started crying, but you’re not interested in tears. You angle your feet to point to the ground, “On your knees.”
He only hesitates for a second, he only stands there staring at you for a second, only a second before he crumbles and does as you say, getting on his knees in front of you, between your legs. “Closer.”
“But-"
“But what?” Your skirts already half way ridden up and you stare him down, keeping your eye contact intense.
“We’re in p-public. Anyone can see.”
You know hes blushing when you see the tips of his ears peek out, bright red. Aw, he’s nervous? Embarrassed? Shy?
“You’re never seeing me after this Choi. Make of it what you can or piss off.”
His eyes widen comically at that. “What? What does that mean? Are you leaving me?”
You can’t decipher or understand why exactly hes so surprised but you shake it off, you don’t want your good time to be spoiled. Not when your underwears’ already sticking to your pussy seeing him on his knees, on the ground, with his ripped baggy jeans, no doubt a pavement burn getting to him. “Are you going to eat me out or should I get up and leave?”
He shakes his head vehemently, hands on your knees spreading your legs. “Sorry, ‘m sorry. Don’t leave. Gonna make you feel good, promise.”
He’s already rambling like he’s dumbed out, like he’s about to be a goner. But he’s still hesitant in his actions and you groan, throwing your head back. “What the fuck Beomgyu?”
A pout rests on his lips, “I—…I don’t want anyone seeing you..”
You think he’s giving a fuck for your decency, you think its about you for once. But then another thought pops up in your head and your lips twitch. It’s not for you. It’s for him. He doesn’t want any possible pedestrian to see what only him so far has been able to see.
This isn’t worth it.
You make an attempt to get up before Beomgyu immediately has you sit back down, wasting no time to press his face between your legs, skirt over his head. His tongue pokes out to lick on over your panties, gradually wetting it and you sigh, the tenseness of your body evaporating. “Yeah, thats it. Be good for me pup.” He whines at that.
Beomgyu doesn’t tease any longer the moment your hands go to grab his hair because suddenly he bunches your panties to the side and you feel the contact of his hot tongue on your cunt, already lapping away like a dog. Dumb dog. Dumb dog. Dumb dumb dumb—but shit he’s having you curl your toes at the speed he’s going, the way he moans against your pussy like hes somehow enjoying eating you out more than you are.
“You’re my toy, nothing else. But you just keep—you keep irritating me, you keep being a dick, you keep provoking me.” you breathe out, tightening your fistful of his hair in your hand, making his moans even louder, nuzzling closer in your pussy you think he might genuinely suffocate at this point. But knowing him, he’d probably like that. “God, you absolute loser.”
He whines something intelligible, wet eyes looking up at you with his brows pulling up—it makes you gasp as you bite down on your bottom lip. He’s so pretty it’s unfair. Why’s such a sinful person so pretty? God must really have the time of his life making this hell for you.
You take it upon yourself to lift yourself a bit, grinding on his face harder, trying to reach your high, obstructing your view of his face—even with the anxiety of doing this so out in the open resting at the pit of your stomach. He’s practically mewling in your pussy, and the sounds send vibrations, his nose bumping up your clit every now and then. He lets you use him, he just lets you.
When Beomgyu fully submits like this to you…you see stars, you come hard. “More…more”, he groans, licking up your arousal. It’s so dirty, it really is, but you can’t help but nod.
Having the skater eat you out till your legs were jelly at a skatepark late at night would surely guarantee your place in hell.
“You’re such a whore, letting me fuck your face like this baby—don’t soil your pants yet, I know how you get. Probably getting off at the fact that we’re out l-like this…h-hah—dirty, dirty boy.”
He shakes his head, the glistening sweat of his forehead and the matted strands on his temple proof of how hard hes really going at it. “Not dirty. Just wan’ your attention..”
The second you tut at him for stopping he immedietely dives back in—you don’t know if it’s more him being afraid of a punishmet or because he himself doesn’t want to stop. Never mind that, because now hes wrapping his pretty lips around your clit and you’re fucking losing your mind with how quick your head clouds.
There are so many things circling your head right now. And this always happens whenever he starts talking during a hook up. Yes, it helps you get to an edge even faster but its for all the wrong reasons. He’d dirty talk for a bit before switching up, and suddenly all of his words are loving and cute and adorable and, and that’s bad. When you see him other than the image he’s curated for himself—that’s when you start feeling the unfamiliar butterflies fluttering.
You don’t like it. He’s not good for you.
“Stop thinking, only focus on me.” You gasp, your fingers digging into his tangled hair, disheveling it even more. Only him.
He makes you orgasm again, and when you catch your breath you gently push his head away, then harder when he can’t seem to stop kissing your inner thighs. He sighs, dropping it, but not without giving you one last puppy plea. You avoid his eyes, pulling your panties up and scoping around the area, all of a sudden feeling exposed. Did you really just let this punk eat you out on a staircase?
You stand up, dusting your ass, taking note of the redness of his knees and the large wet patch in between his crotch when Beomgyu follows, getting up from his knees, wiping his ridiculously wet lips. You tuck a strand behind your ear as you awkwardly stand, thinking over what you’re going to say now.
We’re over, bye.
I’ll go home now, don’t call me.
I hope you know how bad you messed up. Bye.
I’m blocking you on everything so don’t even think of contacting me.
“Don’t leave me.”
…That has you snap out of your reverie.
His voice is low, no doubt vulnerable. This is the worst. This is bad. Shit.
You clear your throat. “Why? Why shouldn’t I? Even if I didn’t want to I’d have to…my dad knows about you now because of the little stunt you pulled and he definitely doesn’t approve of you.” You mumble the last part, crossing your arms and keeping your distance. But that’s not of any use when he steps forward every time you take a step back.
“I’m—” He runs a hand through his hair again, clearly frustrated. And you don’t understand why, does he really operate life thinking there aren’t consequences to his actions? If he didn’t want to stop this so bad why’d he tell people about your relationship when you explicitly told him not to? “We can—we can do it in secret like we did this entire time. He doesn’t have to know.”
You sigh, also frankly frustrated. “Beomgyu! Why can’t you just-"
Suddenly you’re in his embrace, engulfing you so gently and yet the desperation in it couldn’t have been any more tighter. “Please, please don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I’ll—I’ll really do everything you want, I’ll be your toy, your pet, whatever shit you’re into—just don’t leave me."
You really shouldn’t give in. You really, really shouldn’t.
But then he nuzzles into your neck, mumbling with that slight whiny drawl in his tone, “I’ll be your good boy, I promise. Won’t misbehave anymore.”
Of course you give in. Again.
୨୧ note. honestly don’t know where this came from, i was just making up backstory as i was writing. literally only had one thought and one thought only, what if sub!bad boy x dom! good girl? and that was the small attempt made here lol, i love hearing any feedback or even a theory or two concerning the story’s world as i might explore these characters again 🙏
#txt smut#beomgyu smut#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#sub!idol#beomgyu hard thoughts#beomgyu x reader#txt x reader
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
𓆩♡𓆪 𝔾𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕤 II 𓆩♡𓆪
──────────────────────────────
~ This time ya gonna see how we do it like that ~ ──────────────────────────────
𓆩♡𓆪 Sagittarius Sun, Mars, Venus or Mercury will make you such a sassy person, literally "savage" the definition of these placements
𓆩♡𓆪 When you have Mars aspecting the Midheaven people will see you as a competition, they'll try to compete with you
𓆩♡𓆪 Cancer Mars and Moon can have issues with understanding their feelings, but that doesn't stop them from expressing themselves and getting better
─────────────────────────────
We're wide awake now, our eyes are wide open
We're running this world, we keeping it turning
─────────────────────────────
𓆩♡𓆪 Aries and Aquarius Lilith are 2 rebellious forces of nature, Lilith may act like she needs to change something in herself here, it can be in her personality
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn in the same house as Lilith or conjuncting Lilith can be a dangerous placement because Lilith here won't listen to anybody and will do her own thing. She can feel chained up
𓆩♡𓆪 The aura a Capricorn gives is always dark, I love how Capricorn can resemble the dark "goat", Capricorn always gave Maleficent vibes especially when it comes to being ambitious
𓆩♡𓆪 Mercury/Gemini in the 5H can make you to be attracted be multiple people or to have more crushes, doesn't always have to be a relationship
𓆩♡𓆪 Leo Sun, Risings and Venus are the embodiment of a queen, for some reason I always think of Cleopatra of Egypt everytime I think about Leo placements ( Leo Venus gives highly Bastet vibes)
𓆩♡𓆪 If you have a "yang" moon sign like air or fire signs and you have Pluto aspecting the Moon, the aspects will make your moon to act more dark/misterious than already it is
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in Gemini/3rd house will tend to talk more harshly if they're feeling threatened by a person, especially if they want to call that person out for something
𓆩♡𓆪 Everytime I see someone trying to look for a "loyal relationship" I always think they must have Saturn - Venus aspects or Saturn in Libra or Saturn in the 5H or 7H!! major loyal relationship vibes
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in Leo. I love this placement but its bad trait can be that, they love the attention and if they don't get it. These natives can get mad or just annoyed about it
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn in Scorpio or in the 8H talks about a major want or "need" for feeling comfortable with their intimacy or sexuality, they just want to feel good and protected in the same time
𓆩♡𓆪 Virgo Moons aspected by Lilith can act "unholy" which can indicate being more critical than usual maybe more strict even with yourself, is important to give yourself peace of mind
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Sirene (1009) aspecting Saturn can make you to be more attracted in older people than you, sexually, romantically etc
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Sirene (1009) aspecting the Sun will Influence the native to be more aware of their personality and aura, like you know how attractive and beautiful you can be
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Eros (433) in Cancer/4H or Cancer Degrees 4°, 16°, 28° will mostly attract a partner who will be a familist/a person who puts family over everything/traditional spouse too
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Eros (433) in Virgo/6H or Virgo Degrees 6°, 18° will mostly attract a very hardworking spouse, someone will know how important the "devotion" to the world
─────────────────────────────
We're living like giants
─────────────────────────────
𓆩♡𓆪 People don't talk enough about how Mars - Jupiter and Venus - Jupiter aspects can make you horny 24/7, not gonna lie their sexual hormones are crazy
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn in Gemini or the 3rd house natives will find themselves constantly pushed into situations where the need to have good communication skills will become apparent
𓆩♡𓆪 Gemini Risings are remarcabile in making themselves socially liked by others, I admire their social skills and their friendship commitment
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn in the 1st/10th and 6th house are big glow up placements, for yourself, career and even your mental health
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Eros (433) in Libra/7H/ or at 7°, 19° degrees, can we talk a bit about how romantic these placements are?? Eros is getting into "addicted" phase here and is just so in love with everything
𓆩♡𓆪 Venus in Virgo/Venus in the 6th or Venus at 6°. 18° degrees can have quality time and acts of service as their love languages and they're honestly trying their best at making people feeling seen and comforted
𓆩♡𓆪 Neptune/Jupiter/Uranus in the 1st house can he gifted with spiritual gifts, they're usually much more spiritual than other people even since from childhood
𓆩♡𓆪 People don't talk enough about how Moon in the 9th house can make you tied to a certain culture or tradition. It can be yours or others, but you'll get so tied in that culture that you'll adore it
𓆩♡𓆪 I have my 7H lord in the 9H in my sidereal/vedic chart and my friends always joke about me marrying someone religious (I PRAY to not), im more spiritual than religious and marrying someone religious will be the end for me (They say I'm gonna marry a priest help 😭😭😭)
𓆩♡𓆪 Pluto in the 11th house will make the native more powerful in their communities, or in their social group, you gain power with community
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Eros (433) in Capricorn/10th house or at 10°, 22° will attract that type of "boss" figure spouse in their lives, it can be a dominant figure too and very influential in their lives
𓆩♡𓆪 Moon or Venus in the 6H are the best placements to have if you love animals 🐶🐈🐨, I adore these placements in the 6H (can't relate I don't have any) but I love seeing them in a chart
𓆩♡𓆪 Some obvs. for your 1H lord in other house
1st house lord in the 6H > Prioritize your health and your capacity for work/service, taking a break is vital for you
1st house lord in the 2nd H > your self worth and is more precious than any gold or diamonds from this earth
1st house lord in the 7H > Relationships are healthy and important for a human but don't forget to prioritize yourself as well
1st house lord in the 5H > Finding your joy and your own talents is the best thing you can do
1st house lord in the 9H > Don't let others to decide your fate, you can do it by yourself! Try to be more free than ever
1st house lord in the 12H > Your subconscious is as powerful as your spirit, you learn that your destiny will always be by your side
𓆩♡𓆪 Having Saturn as your asc ruler like Cap or Aqua risings is not an easy job because Saturn is teaching you how to deal with life independently
𓆩♡𓆪 Venus in Aquarius/Venus at 11°, 23° degrees, people get so easily attached by you with this placement, you like "one of them" and the community support is always so heart warming
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn or Mercury in the 6H can make you anxious at your job, not that "severe" anxiety but still stressing
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in Virgo/6H can be full of storms, because they can feel drained and tired from others energy, people tend to ignore or forget about their needs and these natives can end up in a bad mood
𓆩♡𓆪 Neptune/Pisces/Moon or Cancer in the 2H can get emotionally attached by the things they own. It can be a sentimental relationship with material things
──────────────────────────────
Ya thought that we were weak but we coming right back
This time ya gonna see how we do it like that
──────────────────────────────
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn aspecting the Moon, especially in harsh aspects, has a hard time dealing with their emotions, is okay to let your feeling out sometimes
𓆩♡𓆪 Asteroid Sirene (1009) having no aspects or sitting empty in a chart can indicate a native who didn't discovered their sexual potential yet
𓆩♡𓆪 Pisces + Taurus combo in a chart can indicate a native who can be a very dreamy and artistic person, their talent can be insane
𓆩♡𓆪 Saturn/Pluto and Lilith in the 4H can grow in very strict households, and it is very important to heal and grow and to NOT be like them and to not fall in their footsteps in case they're toxic
𓆩♡𓆪 Jupiter aspecting the ascendant native is looking hella good because you'll have Jupiter blessing your body. If you don't love your body, start to do so
𓆩♡𓆪 Sagittarius Risings lining up to be some of the most luckiest people in the world because Jupiter, the planet of luck, is rulling their 1st house. The same can apply if you are Jupiter Dominant
𓆩♡𓆪 Having Jupiter aspecting the Neptune makes you the most dreamiest person ever, never stop believing in your dreams, or your magic will fade away literally
𓆩♡𓆪 Sagittarius + Libra combo in a chart can make you to be more bold, wild, sexy, pretty than ever, shine brighter than the diamonds with Venus - Jupiter as your rulers
𓆩♡𓆪 Scoprio + Virgo/Capricorn in a chart can make the native enchanted, mysterious, and even more magnetic. You can have vampire energy
𓆩♡𓆪 North Node aspecting Saturn gives the native the power to go through their obstacles in life, is indeed an indicator for having karmic lessons, but you gonna rise victorious out of this
𓆩♡𓆪 Venus aspecting Neptune or Pluto makes you fall in love with the 'bad' guys. They can be toxic, manipulators, and yes, extremely hot, but that was not the point ;)
𓆩♡𓆪 Sun aspecting Mars natives have that unique energy to make everything possible, they are very ambitious and will make it to happen
𓆩♡𓆪 Mars in the same house as Mercury or Mars aspecting Mercury will be very sassy/dramatic in their talks/conversations, even sarcastic sometimes
𓆩♡𓆪 12H in Leo/South Node in Leo/Saturn in Leo/8H in Leo gives "royalty up to my veins." They can have a presence of a royalty in other people's lives
𓆩♡𓆪 Pluto or Lilith aspecting the ascendant gives major jealousy vibes when it comes to your looks/appearance people wish to look like you
𓆩♡𓆪 Moon in the 11H/Moon in Aquarius natives are gifted with incredible friends in this life. The meaning of these placements is to find friends you can relate with, very underrated placements ♡
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in the 4H and Cancer Lilith can be placements because you're not always surrounded with love or kindness, that's why is hard for you to give the same energy back
𓆩♡𓆪 Air Risings remind me of 90's songs. For some reason, I have always considered the 90s to be Air Risings era, related to music style kinda makes sense because
Libra Risings because Venus gives them the gift of arts and music, Libra because of their unique fashion (The 90's fashion in music industry was BOMB)
Gemini Risings because Mercury is heavy tied with music and with what we hear, Gemini because is tied with communication and learning skills in music
Aquarius Risings because of Uranus's help to bring uniqueness and difference in music styles, also to make it widely more known, Aquarius to make it comfortable for the community of music
Not me debating the reason 😭😭 i got too deep with this subject lol
𓆩♡𓆪 Let me tell ya guys ,it happens to have my Lilith [1181] conj my Aphrodite in the 5H (house of kids😭😭), these both make me to not want kids never, and I actually like it because i am a generational curse breaker anyway. Thanks to Lilith, i know Lady Aphrodite can act more "baby fever" in the 5H!!! Not my in case 💅💅💅
𓆩♡𓆪 Speaking of Lilith 1181 aspecting your Neptune can make you to act more dreamy & enchanted, also very intutive
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith 1181 aspecting your Moon makes you to be vulnerable at times, need to take care and to protect your energy! Dont depend on others
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith 1181 aspecting your Venus will make you to act more possessive your relationships/spouse, will make you to be more in love even obsessed at times.
♡■ New week, a new post for yall☆!! Enjoy it♡♡♡ ♡
I hope you all have a very beautiful Monday ♡♡♡
Harm♡♡nix
#astrology#astro observations#giants#birth chart#astro notes#astrology observations#placements#astro community#horoscope#giants II#ascendant#venus#astroblog#astroseek#astro.com#astronote#vedic astrology#sidereal astrology#astro
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
REASONS TO CUP A FACE. ( A PROMPT LIST. )
with the help of some very talented and amazing friends, i present to you an unexpected, very spontaneous meme list based on the beautiful art of cupping someone's face! there's a mix of romantic and platonic here, and even a few that defy the boundaries of normal relationship dynamics! i hope you enjoy! as always; DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST NOR CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN!
[KISS]: sender cups the receivers face in their hands before drawing them closer for a kiss.
[CHECK]: after an unexpectedly violent situation, sender frantically rushes to check if the receiver is okay, cupping their face to look closer.
[CLEAN]: sender affectionately wipes a smudge of sauce from the corner of the receiver's mouth, cupping their face in the process.
[LIFT]: sender gently cups the receiver's face and lifts their chin so the receiver is looking up at them.
[COMFORT]: sender cups a distressed receiver's face in their hands and steadies them by resting their foreheads together.
[ATTENTION]: during an important conversation, the sender takes the receiver's face in their hands and firmly directs their focus on them.
[MAKE-UP]: while applying make-up on the receiver's face, the sender cups their face in order to keep them still.
[PRIDE]: after the receiver succeeds in a remarkable achievement, the sender cups their face and tilts their foreheads together to express how proud they are of them.
[WHISPER]: in order to have a private, hushed conversation with the receiver, the sender cups their face and draws them close to make sure they can be heard.
[HAIR]: in the process of pushing the receiver's hair back from their face, the sender lets their hand rest against the receiver's cheek a moment longer.
[GROUND]: during a moment of intense emotional stress, the sender gently takes the receiver's face in their hands to ground them until they're calmer again.
[WONDER]: unable to comprehend how incredible the receiver is, the sender decides to simply cup their face in their hands and marvel at them instead.
[LAST LOOK]: before going into a situation that may result in their death, the sender takes a moment to cup the unaware receiver's face in their hand, just to take a final look of admiration at them before they go.
[SACRIFICE]: the sender cups the receiver's face tenderly to distract them, right before shoving them out of the way (to safety) and facing an attack alone in order to buy the receiver enough time to escape.
[BELIEF]: in a moment where the receiver is lacking in self-confidence, the sender cups their face tenderly and professes their faith in the receiver's abilities.
[DISBELIEF]: after the receiver has done something completely unexpected (and reckless) the stunned sender cups their face in their hands while trying to get them to explain why the hell they did it.
[BETRAYAL]: trying to keep the receiver calm before the big reveal, the sender cups their face gently to keep them steady, and then reveals that they're the villain.
[WOUND]: after the receiver has been wounded, the sender tries to keep them calm and conscious by cupping their face in their hands and talking to them to keep them focused.
[INJURY]: after having been badly wounded themselves, the sender tries to reassure the frantic receiver by cupping their face and comforting them.
[RAMSAY]: after the receiver commits a culinary crime, the sender presses two slices of bread against either side of their face, cupping their face to hold the bread in place, and calls them an idiot sandwich.
5K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
