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#ive already been insane about it on stream but.

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 2 months

Note

In sally and poppy's character page it says "Sally and Poppy are often depicted together and, according to recovered material, could potentially be best friends."

and to that i say, best friends my ASS!! those are lesbians right there

oooo i actually talked about this in the update stream when i was reading the updated bios! to restate!

a common Cover for lesbians used to be "best friends". why are those two women living together? why they're best friends, so why not! why do these women spend all their time together? they're best friends! why are those women so physically affectionate - well! they're best friends! an excuse that would never fly with gay men is perfect for lesbians.

and you still see this in recent years! remember all of the posts making fun of facebook moms / grandparents seeing photos of lesbians and going "well they seem like a lovely pair of Best Friends!" this still happens! i'm sure there are people today seeing lesbians and thinking that they're best friends. the amount of times i've pointed out to my own parents "they're gay" and gotten surprise and sometimes even denial is response because they genuinely thought these blatantly gay people were only friends

to me and my current knowledge, this addition to Poppy & Sally's bios is evidence worth considering with this context. a tally in the "canon Popstar?" box!

#i would also like to bring attention to Rich Aunt Toodaloo and Best Friend Sue.#ive already been insane about it on stream but.#tee hee!!!#but yes so like #if two guys are referred to as 'best friends' in the context of Welcome Home's time period #im not gonna bat an eye! bc! well! there aren't any secret connotations to that!#but if two women are specifically called out as best friends? im going to be narrowing my eyes!#and honestly i think that the Toodaloo-Sue thing could. potentially.#be a way of hinting at the bios' 'best friend' status' true meaning #its certainly an interesting coincidence!! compelling one might say #homebogging #wh speculation #welcome home speculation #man. popstar Also has receipts huh.#lmao what if they're Also in a secret established relationship...#i doubt it but! an argument May be made...#man especially since it says May be best friends. the Ambiguity!#and how it points out that they're often depicted together... HELLOOOOO I SEE YOU!

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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I feel like it would be fun to see Leo's actor in Mole Song Final play Ryuji... that's the only person that comes to mind 😭😭

BUT YEAH 4 was the first mainline entry with (proper) faceclaims! I would kill to see faceclaims get to play their characters. Because they actually aren't mocapped by them, just voiced and scanned in--the acting is all done by RGGS' mocap actors. If you're mentally ill enough you'll start to notice acting decisions that differ from what the actual actor would've gone for; Arakawa doesn't cry the way Nakai does, for example. NGL the animations get kind of uncanny at times if you're too mentally ill so I would not recommend paying quite that much attention lol

I was trying not to think about it though because even if we By Some Miracle got to "season 7" (8 if they do 0) it's entirely possible Nakai and/or Tsutsumi won't be acting anymore by then 😭😭😭😭😭Tsutsumi wants to start directing by the time he's 60... That's chiefly why I kinda wanted it to be an adaptation of 7 before we knew any of the specifics... But Oh Well, it is what it is

ANYWAYS. Very excited for stream tomorrow and best of luck getting stuff done for today :D

YEAH LIKE UNDOUBTEDLY he gave such big ryuji vibes and had an epic presence..... if i allowed myself to dream just this once he would be a real good contender for ryuji......

ohhh yeah nonono ive definitely noticed DONT WORRY. whenever i draw or write fics, i always try to imagine the actual character first to see if the expression or dialogue fits them and if it's believable. having dove more into tsutsumi and nakai movies and shows, the difference is REALLY apparent to me (in that vein tho, it's easy for me to see them as individual characters as opposed to actors playing characters, so it's a little bit of a win for me somehow lmao)

YEAH NOOO THATS DEF A VERY LIKELY POSSIBILITY SHOULD THE SERIES SOMEHOW GET TO THAT POINT IN THE GAMES. again i doubt we'll actually get that far, but in the rare event that we do i hope nakai and tsutsumi do whatever makes them happy (and id def be into seein a movie directed by tsutsumi) (❁´◡`❁)

I REMEMEBR THATLKVJELK WHICH ONE OF YOU FIENDS SENT ME THAT FANCAST SITE IN THE FIRST PLACE ☠️☠️☠️☠️

#snap chats #i always get awkward about drawing characters based off real people #i have scopophobia so As A Branch Off That my irrational fear is always actors or voice actors seeing fanart i do of their characters #(doesnt make sense for me to stream in that regard but its a type of exposure therapy you see)#its just doubly awkward when i do end up drawing their face uh like. a million times cause now i look insane #IT'S A VERY UNLIKELY POSSIBILITY I KNOW but still.. im addled with irrational fears we know this already #but yeah no. over time i've noticed the small 'quirks' nakai and tsutsumi have while acting so i understand totally #makes it awkward when i do keep those quirks in mind when making stuff huh. cant be helped (´▽｀ ;;;;)#its just once i KNOW its like. i cant go back cause now it'll feel Not Right. as if THATS a thing #but yeah speaking of stream. hopefully things go well again i look forward to talking to everyone again (❁´◡`❁) !#i do better verbally talking I Think because when im typing things out i overthink and end up taking nine years to respond or send a messag #cause with talking you HAVE to commit to what you said unless you just wanna stutter and murmur the whole convo #with typing i can take my time and then i take TOO much time and get nothing done #it's a double-edged sword kind of deal but anyway... still stoked :]#i didnt even start drawing my mini comic yet i was too busy makin a mitsu ref sheet since ive been drawing him lately. I GUESS.#i wont draw him much i imagine but... just in case right...

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mclqren · 2 months

Text

PERFECT ★ CL16

PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!singer!reader

SUMMARY ✦ most of your songs are based off of your relationship with your boyfriend, so it's only fair that he writes a song for you, right? [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ for the purpose of this fic, i have stolen some songs from other artists to use as the reader's/charles'. as per request, the fc i've used is sabrina carpenter, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

liked by charles_leclerc, oliviarodrigo, and 3,555,971 others

tagged charles_leclerc

yourusername my new song 'cinnamon girl', and the music video to go with it, is out now!! i'd like to thank everyone who supported me through the making of this song, but especially my boyfriend, who inspired me to write it. je t’aime 💌

view all comments

user1 THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS ME SCREAMINGGG WHEN IS IT MY TURN

user2 SO REAL THEY'RE SUCH CUTIES

charles_leclerc forever proud of you ❤️

yourusername 💘💘

user3 her aesthetic means absolutely everything to me

user4 THE SONG IS EVERYTHING AND MOREEE I LOVE IT!!

user5 y/n l/n one chance PLEASEEE

oliviarodrigo so proud of you baby!! 💜

yourusername thank you sm liv i love you 💌

user6 their friendship is everything to me.

liked by charles_leclerc, tatemcrae, and 3,002,718 others

yourusername cinnamon girl is already at one million streams on spotify?! actually insane - thank you all so much for supporting me and my vision, i love you all to death 💌

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user10 WOAH 1 MILLION ALREADY IS CRAZYYY

user11 beyond proud of you y/n you’ve come so far 💗💗

charles_leclerc couldn’t be prouder of you ❤️

yourusername love you!! ��💕

user12 the way he supports her>>

user13 the fact charles leclerc inspired this song is actually everything to me

user14 IM IN LOVE W EVERYTHING YOU DO

tatemcrae MY GIRL COME ON ❤️

yourusername TATEEE MY BABY 💕

liked by charles_leclerc, oliviarodrigo, and 2,981,627 others

tagged charles_leclerc

yourusername next stop: bahrain!! 💌

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user17 y’all’s relationship is everything to me

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

liked by yourusername

user18 Y/N IN BAHRAIN THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

user19 the way he looks at her omg

user20 i want someone to look at me the way charles looks at y/n oh my days

oliviarodrigo take me w you!! 😭

yourusername next time!! 💕

user21 she’s so sweet i cant

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 2,671,902 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc touchdown in bahrain! let’s hope for a good race 👊

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user22 HES BACKKKK

user23 LECLERCCC

user24 y/n is glowing omg

yourusername can’t wait to watch 💕

charles_leclerc ❤️

user25 awwww stop it rn

yourusername FORZA FERRARIII

carlossainz55 SIEMPRE ❤️

user26 y/n’s two moods: cutesy gf and raging ferrari fan

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, and 2,880,218 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc i promised something new and exciting with my music, and here it is. 'perfect' is out now - a song i produced and played purely on the piano. this song is for my love: you write songs about me all the time, so here's a little present from me to you ❤️

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user30 he's so in love it's actually the cutest thing ever

user31 this song is actually so beautiful what on earth.

yourusername my love 💌

charles_leclerc forever ❤️

user32 kill me now why are they so cute.

user33 THE SONG CHARLESSS ITS SO GOOD

maxverstappen1 photo credits for the last picture?? ☹️

yourusername thanks for capturing such a gorgeous shot maxie, much appreciated 😘

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 3,313,220 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc to the person who i would dedicate all of my songs to. je t’aime ❤️

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user38 someone put them in a cheesy romantic comedy film right this instant they're too perfect for this world.

user39 RIGHTTT IVE BEEN SAYING THIS

user40 can't tell who's punching more: charles or y/n

user41 she is so stunning i actually can't

user42 the song title 'perfect' is so fitting i mean look at her

yourusername im choosing to ignore the second picture 😘

charles_leclerc but why, it's so cute!!

yourusername you are joking charles.

yourusername love you always and forever 💌

liked by charles_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 3,445,380 others

tagged charles_leclerc

yourusername thank you sm charlie for the song, it was truly one of the most beautiful things that have ever graced my ears, and i will forever cherish it 💌 this post is an appreciation for you (the last picture will forever be my favorite)

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user43 the way i can hear the last photo 😭

user44 "nothing it was just an inchident"

charles_leclerc the last picture ☹️

yourusername my fav 😊😊

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

liked by yourusername

user45 FUCKKK IM SO SINGLE RN

user46 NO REALLL IM SO LONELY

maxverstappen1 last pic brings back bad memories 😢

yourusername sorry about that mad max, i'm sure you'll get over it soon. 🫶

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

#f1 x reader #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #f1 smau #f1 x you #formula 1 #f1 fanfic #f1 x female reader #f1 social media au #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x y/n #formula one x y/n #formula one x you #formula one x reader #mclqren

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agaypanic · 4 months

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former theater kid as well !! maybe a story about regina with a gf in theater club ?

My Little Star (Regina George X Theater Kid!Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: Your girlfriend comes to see you in your last high school show.

A/N: depending on which regina you’re envisioning with this, au where everyone has smartphones. post!mean girls regina bc then i wont feel too bad if she seems too ooc. ive been thinking a lot about romeo and juliet lately so the play is romeo and juliet teehee

***

If you had told your younger self that at the end of your senior year, you’d be the leading star in your final show and be dating Regina George, she would’ve thought you were insane.

Yet here you were, getting ready for the opening night of Romeo and Juliet while your girlfriend spam-texted you words of encouragement.

Regina <3

You’re gonna do so good, I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU!!!

I was gonna keep it a surprise until after the show, but I got your favorite

*Sent 1 Attachment*

Unlocking your phone to respond, you were greeted with a picture of Regina sitting in the auditorium holding a large bouquet of your favorite flowers. She had a great big smile on her face, her eyes squinting from it.

Your breath hitched. You knew Regina loved you, but the picture radiated her feelings of pride for you. It made you want to run out and smother her in affection.

Instead, you texted her back.

You

OMG you’re literally the sweetest Regina!!

I’ll be looking for you in the audience lol

Regina <3

I’m sitting in the very center, so hopefully I’m easy to spot

Especially with this giant ass bouquet

You laughed at the message and soon got a tap on your shoulder from one of your friends, telling you places were in five minutes.

You

I have to go, we’re gonna start soon

But I’ll be looking for you :))

You waited until you saw a response from Regina before putting your phone in your bag.

Regina <3

YOU’RE GONNA DO AMAZING

BREAK A LEG <3333

DON’T ACTUALLY BREAK A LEG THO

THAT’D BE BAD

I LOVE YOU!!!

Laughing at her stream of messages, you put your phone away and rushed out to your place. As much as you revel in the fact that you had a leading role, you were already waiting for the show to be over so you could see Regina.

***

If you had to choose one, the death scene was probably your favorite. It was dramatic, which was always fun, and you got to stab yourself with a retractable blade.

“What’s here? A cup, closed in my true love’s hand?” You took the empty cup out of Romeo’s, whose real name was Jared, stiff hand, inspecting it. “Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end: O churl! Drunk all, and left no friendly drop to help me after?” You dropped the cup in distress, wondering what to do. Then your eyes fell on Jared’s lips, and you had a revelation. “I will kiss thy lips; Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to make die with a restorative.”

You held his face gently in your hands and leaned down to kiss him. Every time you went through a kiss scene with Jared, you pretended it was Regina you were kissing. The passion seemed more authentic that way.

You pulled away, staring down at Jared.

“Thy lips are warm.” You said brokenheartedly. You were just barely too late. If only he had waited a while longer to drink the poison so you’d be awake to stop him.

“Lead, boy: which way?” You heard from offstage.

“Yea, noise?” You looked toward the direction of the noise’s source in a panic. “Then I’ll be brief. O happy dagger!”

You grabbed Romeo’s dagger and raised it to the audience. And that’s when you caught a glimpse of Regina. Despite the room being dark and her being far away, you could feel her excitement as she watched. You had to stop yourself from smiling.

“This is thy sheath,” You say before shoving the dagger into your heart. You gasp a little and look up. To the audience, you could’ve been looking up to the heavens in your last moments. But you were doing your best to stare into Regina’s eyes that were fixated on you. “There rust, and let me die.”

With that, you fell on top of Jared’s body, doing your best not to crush him as you ‘died.’

The scene continued from there, and you did your best not to move. Your back was killing you from the long show, but eventually, it ended. When you came out for bows, you heard a particularly loud cheer, and you didn’t have to guess who it was. It made you smile even more, so much that your cheeks started getting sore.

When the bows were over, and the cast and crew were finding their friends and family in the audience, you ran to Regina. It was a bit difficult weaving through the crowd, especially in your costume, but eventually, you reached the blonde, who had her arms opened wide and ready to catch you.

“You were amazing!” Regina all but shouted in your ear as she hugged you, squeezing you tightly. “Absolutely showstopping. One day, you’ll be a famous actress.”

“You think too highly of me, Regina.” You said with a giggle, and you were sure that your reddening cheeks were showing through your heavy stage makeup.

You grabbed your girlfriend’s face and kissed her. It was a million times better than pretending you were kissing her instead of Jared when you were on stage. Regina’s hands dropped to your hips, pulling you close against her. When you let out a little moan, you knew you should pull away before you felt like you couldn’t turn back.

“These are for you,” Regina said before biting her slightly swollen lip, giving you the giant bouquet she had gotten for you. One thing about Regina was that she was never cheap.

“I love them.” You smiled, giving her a few pecks.

“Anything for you, my little star.” The nickname made you giddy, made you feel like you were the only ones in this gigantic room. “Now how about you go change, we get some food, and then you sleep over at my house?”

“That sounds perfect.” You kissed Regina again; it was like you were addicted to her lips. “I should go now. If I kiss you anymore, I’ll probably never leave.”

“I definitely wouldn’t complain,” Regina smirked, but agreed that you should go change. She turned you around by the shoulders and gave you a quick pat on the butt to send you on your way, laughing at the way you squealed in surprise.

#agaypanic #regina george #regina george x reader #mean girls #mean girls x reader #rachel mcadams #rachel mcadams x reader #renee rapp #renee rapp x reader

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eilishsluv · 8 months

Note

could u write a fanfic maybe a angst to fluff? perhaps billie stops giving attention and reader overthinks which leads to angst then fluff. hope ur well:)

sure anon! i hope this is how you wanted<3

attention

billie eilish x fem!reader

summary: billie had stopped giving you the attention she used to which lead to you overthinking & so an argument

warnings: arguing, hickies, kissing & unedited

notes: this was fun to write, enjoy reading:)

billie was an extremely busy person, she had been ever since she stepped foot into the famous business. but these past few weeks you've been feeling extremely neglected by her, its happened before but never for this long. usually only afew days but its almost been 2 months. this had made your thoughts sprial.

overthinking was a bad habit of yours but how could you not especially right now? her flirty comments with other famous people, fans & just anyone. you loved billie & so did she, but now you definitely doubted it.

you both laid in her bed, your head on her chest & usually she'd avoid her phone, or atleast her hands somewhere on you, but no, not today. billie had both her hands on her phone, with her arms on either side of you, barely brushing against you as she typed.

you were done, the jealousy, overthinking & worry got to you. you managed to move away from billie & off the bed.

"whats wrong baby?" billie questioned watching you look around the room.

you ignored her completely, although hearing her voice & petname hurt your heart terribly. scurrying around her room finding your clothes & some of your belongings, billies brain started to tik realising you were leaving.

"woah woah woah, y/n what are you doing?" billie started to move off the bed to stand with you. this made your blood boil.

"oh so you can flirt with other people, ignore me completely, make me feel like shit but you expect me to stay & deal with all of it?" as you talked your voice got louder & louder, you were pissed.

the distress was visible in her face, you stared at her waiting on a response.

"y/n what are you on about?" billie was on the verge of tears, you on the other hand had hot tears streaming down your cheeks already.

"you think i dont see everything you do billie?! for fucks sake, i mean really? really. every single comment you make on another person breaks me apart cause i went from hearing them every single second to once a week if im fucking lucky!" your voice broke all throughout that sentence but you had to get that out, but you couldnt scream all you wanted to.

billie slowly stepped towards where you were standing. she was insanely intimidating when she wanted to be, all you did was step further back up until you hit the wall.

she stared deep into your eyes, hers showed a sad although dominant expression.

"is that all you think & feel?" billie looked as if she was joking, you didnt care. she asked for it whether or not she was serious.

you scoffed looking down then back up into her eyes.

"do you seriously think thats all? i mean billie all i fucking want is your attention but you dont even give a single fuck to me anymore. you have done nothing but ignore me for weeks!" screaming that in her face felt therapeutic but also painful.

billie looked speechless, you guys had argued before but never over something like this.

"you think i dont love you?" her sentence hung in the air, your face gave it all away. billie cleared her throat before continuing.

"which other girl is dancing in my house, wearing my clothes, coming with me to events, sleeping in my bed in my arms, cooking me dinner or listening to me make a new album? y/n you are the only girl i want & need, i own up to being distant but i dont want another girl" billies tears started to fall. you wiped them away as she leaned into your touch.

"im sorry baby." you felt like shit for everything you did in the past 10 minutes.

"dont be sorry for my actions & how ive treated you" you both felt bad but only wanted one thing, & that was eachother.

billie leaned down into your neck, leaving kisses & marks. it was one of her ways of saying sorry & that she loves you.

"i love you" you spoke

"i love you mamas" billie answered back.

she was all you wanted & you were all she wanted, she definitely cleaned her act up after that.

#billie eilish x reader #billie eilish #eilishsluv

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stxrvel · 4 months

Text

i don't wanna live forever (1)

summary: reader couldn't stop having deaths in her life ever since the Supersoldier serum came into her life. no matter how hard she tried to stay sane, it seemed that life didn't want to give her a break. until, one afternoon, she learned that one of her old friends was alive… (you guys know im bad at summaries, but please give this one a chance)

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4.5k

warnings: angst, major character deaths, canon deaths¿?, bad words, english is not my first language! thoughts of revenge and death, this is like an introductory chapter, so the buckyxreader interaction is low, but it'll get better, i promise!

note: holy fuck guys. i just spent like five hours writing and editing this and i fucking love it. its been a while since ive been this proud of a work, im actually scare the emotion will disappear, but i really want to rejoice in this one. i wanted to write something a little different from my usuals, maybe a little common in the fanfiction world, but i started and i simply could not stop (or maybe just approach this bucky fic from another perspective). so this is the first part and i'll try with all my heart to keep this going because it was fucking insane, at least for me. i really hope you all like this as much as i do! feel free to leave any comment! thanks always for all the support!! see you next time <3

part 2 ; part 3 ; part 4

When you went into the Supersoldier serum project with Steve, you thought you were going to change the world. Of course, at that time when technology was relatively new any invention felt like the beginning of a new era. That's how it was all sold to you and it was how you expected everything to turn out… Until you realized that it was all really a waste of effort and time.

They were just propaganda for war. Not to stop it, to promote it. To motivate it.

You tried, on several occasions, not to think too much about it. You tried to stay out of it as Steve sometimes asked you to, even though even he didn't want to, as Bucky asked you to when you lay on his shoulder to cry in the little time you had free between trips. It was a great burden of guilt and helplessness.

Until you and Steve, with the almost imposed help of Peggy and Howard, rescued Bucky from the evil hands of Johann Schmidt and his nefarious organization, HYDRA, that, unbeknownst to you, would haunt you for a long time to come. It was only after that, after spending several sleepless days on edge thinking about what might be happening to Bucky, that you and Steve were finally able to go out and contribute something. Destroy HYDRA and the Red Skull's plans.

Of course, you realized that not everything could go right when, the one mission you couldn't attend, Bucky didn't return. And then Steve didn't come back either.

“Do you think this will ever end?” you had asked Bucky the day before his last mission.

“Of course it will,” he had answered without hesitation, moonlight illuminating his clear eyes, squeezing your hand as if it was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. “And after that we can begin to live as it should be.”

But there was no after that, because you never recovered from losing him. From losing them both.

“Are you okay?” Peggy approached, in the middle of the afternoon when the sun was streaming through the stained glass windows of the church, illuminating the spot where Steve's empty coffin had been, because they didn't even find his body. They didn't even think there was any of it left.

You barely moved your head to acknowledge her presence, moving the prayer slip they had recited throughout the mass between your hands. Your eyes were crystallized, in tears that no longer even made the effort to flow, because you had already spent too many days and nights crying. Peggy had been on the other side of the church, sitting next to Howard while the priest spoke, because you had refused to be near them in those moments. You didn't want to be near them.

“As well as one can be,” you slurred, finding that it had been a long time since you'd last used your voice for anything other than cursing and crying disconsolately.

The people had already left, probably an hour or more ago. The empty coffin had already been brought out, all the flower arrangements had been picked up, and the priest was preparing for the evening mass. You knew you had to leave, you knew Peggy and Howard were there waiting for you, but you felt stuck at that moment. You didn't want to leave, you didn't want to get ahead, you didn't want that life if it had to be this cruel.

You heard Peggy's sigh, before she took a seat next to you, a short distance away, averting her gaze to look at Christ on the cross.

You didn't know if you were selfish to be so closed off to your friends at this moments, because they must be grieving as much as you were, but you didn't know how to deal with the future possibilities. Bucky and Steve, great men and soldiers, one even with enhanced abilities, had not been able to make it through the punishment of war. What if Peggy and Howard were the same? What if they too had the cruel fate of dying at the hands of injustice? Could you deal with that? With everyone gone?

Maybe you could open up to them a little more because if not, who else? Turning away from them was not going to ensure their survival in this hate-filled society. Maybe you could protect them, like you couldn't protect Steve and Bucky. Maybe you could make a difference, because you had the chance to.

“You know,” Peggy spoke again, rearranging herself on the bench and crossing her legs, “Steve always knew this was how it would end.”

Her wistful, mournful, fragile voice sent a shiver through your body. Peggy didn't consider herself someone to show herself vulnerable in front of others no matter how close they were, even in those things that hurt her the most, in those things that affected her personally and made her eyes water instantly, she always tended to shut down. And at that moment you didn't dare interrupt her because you knew it would probably be the only time she would talk about Steve in a long time.

“Sometimes we'd talk, between tour trips, and he would tell me that wasn't what he wanted to do, even when he had to convince you otherwise,” her clasped hands would occasionally squeeze between words, blinking rapidly to fight back the tears. “He didn't know if he'd made the right decision.”

You could almost picture him, backstage at the foot of the stairs with that notebook he carried everywhere and wouldn't let go, Peggy at his side nostalgic, as helpless as the others. It reminded you of the times you'd had similar conversations with Bucky, desperate to find a purpose, a way through so much fog.

“The first time I saw him so sure of himself was when he asked us to help them look for Bucky,” she mumbled his name, as if trying not to scare you away by saying it too loudly. “Ever since then it seemed like he'd found that spark…”

“Until Bucky died,” you whispered, the words cutting through the cold and silence, Peggy shifting on the bench contritely.

“He lost something of himself from that day on, it wasn't hard to tell. The next time I heard him so sure after spending days lost, it was on that call from the plane.”

Peggy paused, raising her hand to cover her mouth as her voice faltered. You turned to look at her, wishing you could rip the pain from her soul and leave it in yours. She was trying to contain her emotions, breathing deeply, and in that moment you wondered what life might be like from now on, with the specter of grief following you around, waiting for the next time the dead knocked on your doors, unexpectedly, without allowing you to say goodbye.

“He had told me he wouldn't die in peace until he could get it all over with. And he took it all with him. And I hated him so much for it…” Peggy sobbed, her labored breathing standing out between words. She kept looking straight ahead at the stained glass windows, the expression on her face hard and scowling despite having tears rolling down her cheeks, as if she were trying to blame something for what had happened. Her reproachful eyes fixed on the Christ.

Her wails echoed through the walls of the church, the father on the dais sending them a look of sorrow. He had offered you water, thirty minutes after everyone at Steve's wake had left, when they kept walking, and you stood there.

Another empty casket.

“Ladies,” Howard's voice reached your ears amidst all the physical and emotional numbness. You could barely notice Peggy wiping under her eyes with the pocket square that was surely part of Howard's suit, as she took breaths to get up. “We should go now.”

You heard him walk, his slow, careful steps stopping just behind you. There, on his feet with his chest tight, he rested a hand on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze in support. He knew it was the most you would allow him at a time like this, deciding not to pass up the opportunity to let you know he was there. You sighed, feeling a heaviness take over your body as you stood up.

“Yeah, let's go.”

The next few months passed in a blur. Maybe too fast, maybe too slow, you weren't sure anymore.

Peggy continued to work at the Strategic Science Reserve for a couple of years, calling you from time to time to help her with some jobs. You kept a low profile, practically a fugitive from the state, while trying to live a halfway normal life in Europe. A lot of it thanks to Howard really.

Life had become a rather monotonous routine when you stopped getting so many calls from Peggy and Howard several years later. You knew they were fine, but not being able to return to the country filled you with anguish every day. And trying to lead a normal life became too complicated when you looked in the mirror and it seemed like not a single day had passed since you were in that capsule of Dr. Erskine's with Steve.

Until Peggy called one day asking you to come back. She told you that it was safe, that there would be no state officials waiting for you at the airport, but even if that had been the situation, you wouldn't have hesitated for a second to buy the first plane ticket and fly to see them again. To Howard and Peggy, to melt into an embrace, longing for the lost years.

You had thought that contributing to the fight in World War II had earned you a ticket to at least be recognized in the military, but all you gained was the government with their mad scientists looking for you to try to recreate the Supersoldier serum. Peggy didn't want to risk you and Howard gave you no choice by giving you a plane ticket to Finland with your bags packed.

You wasted many years not being by their side, unable to keep the promise you had made them in your head to be close by to protect them, to watch over their safety.

But when you left the airport there was only Peggy, and maybe that should've told you everything.

Her hair already looked gray, the effects of gravity and time present on her face. You hated to think that you shouldn't have looked any different from the way she saw you last time when she waved you off at that same airport. Her warm gaze was the same, raising her arms with held back tears to encircle you in a big hug. She tried hard not to sob against your shoulder, you felt the choppy movement of her breath against your chest.

She looked so different and the same at the same time.

You walked to her car a moment later, her trying to carry your suitcase and you telling her you were perfectly fine carrying it on your own. Amidst a smile, she walked into the driver's door and you frowned as you saw the empty passenger seat.

“Where's Howard?” you spoke as you sat down, after stowing the huge suitcase in the trunk of the car. The way you moved to buckle up, you didn't notice the way Peggy froze in place, her hands clenching the steering wheel so tightly that her breath hitched from the effort.

“We're going to see him,” was all she said, but she was very good at hiding that something was wrong. Only for a little while.

During the trip, even though you tried to ask things about them, about what they had been doing during this time, you didn't miss the way her shoulders were tense or her eyes very alert. Something bad had happened and Peggy was trying to hide it from you.

When she pulled up in front of a church, you already knew what had happened without her answering a single one of your questions.

Howard had died.

You two had sat next to Howard's son Tony, his spitting image, in complete silence as the prayers went on. At that moment you didn't know what had happened, hoping it had been a quiet and peaceful death, because you didn't know if you would be able to endure another violent death.

Peggy gave you all the details when the mass was over, after the coffin was taken away, and you hadn't felt such fury in so many years. Not since the deaths of Bucky and Steve had that adrenaline rush of anger returned to run through your body as violently as it did at that moment, when Peggy told you that he had been murdered along with his wife. All to steal some prototypes of Dr. Erskine's serum. The damned serums with which everything had started.

This time there was a body in the coffin, but there was also a culprit. Someone to point the finger at and take it out on for years of anguish and pain.

You were at Peggy's house, staying for a few days, when she told you that wasn't all.

Peggy had a suspicion that HYDRA hadn't disappeared when Steve crashed that plane into the ice. Her suspicions generated panic in you, because Bucky and Steve had died for that, now apparently Howard, only for it all to have been for nothing. The feeling of carnage that ran through your whole head made you nauseous, years of helplessness and pain pent up in such a small body had to find its way out somehow.

“It was a man, according to the information I've been able to gather,” Peggy spoke, taking a seat across from you in the dining room of her living room, after pouring you a glass of lemonade. “He didn't die from the crash. He had a concussion. He was hit in the head. His wife died from asphyxiation.”

“Does Tony know?”

“No,” Peggy shook her head quickly, one hand over her heart as if the mere thought caused her physical pain. “It didn't even occur to me to tell him something like that.”

“And he was looking for the serum,” you recalled, a bitter feeling planted in the back of your throat, the memories of the disastrous times during the war coming back into your head like a blinding flash.

“He took them. We don't know who he is or who he works for, but whoever they are, they must have been following us for a long time to know about them.”

“You mean years,” you arched an eyebrow, your fingers touching the cool exterior of the glass seeking some reassurance.

“Possibly. That project isn't recent,” Peggy nodded, drinking her lemonade with a grimace. You stared at the liquid almost finished from her glass, a wrinkle forming between your brows with each passing second and you kept wondering why.

“But what the fuck was going through that asshole's head?” you spat angrily. Rage at already the amount of lives that serum had taken with it and at Howard's recklessness. Rage at the reaper who seemed to be following in their footsteps for some reason, rage at that damn man and whoever his damn boss was.

“It was the only option, Y/N,” Peggy turned her gaze, meeting your eyes with a strange glint.

“What do you mean?” you were almost afraid to ask, your friend's gaze suddenly turning evasive. You watched her run her fingernails over the glass of the tumbler, lost for a moment in thought. The way her shoulders slumped forward in defeat caused a pressure in your chest that made it hard to breathe. Peggy shouldn't be going through these things at this point in life.

“Howard was working with the Pentagon, as a contractor or something. They had found you. Howard felt cornered and they made him sign an agreement.”

With your incredulous look on her face, Peggy didn't dare look back at you for a few seconds. So much had happened since you had left and it seemed that you had only been told about the things you weren't going to care about so much. But if you had known that you wouldn't have cared much about giving some of the state officials their comeuppance. You would've liked Howard to trust you enough to tell you, not live in as much fear behind his back as the last few years must've been. You didn't like the way Peggy's lips curved downward, as if she, too, would've preferred to make another decision had she known this was how it was going to end.

“Howard assured them that he could recreate the serum, and told them he would as long as they left you alone.”

“Fucking asshole…” you closed your eyes, scrubbing your face with your hands. The rough skin of your hands rubbed against the delicate skin of your face, years of combat and mistreatment foreseeing a harshness that reminded you every day of what you'd had to go through to get to that moment.

“I only found out about it after it happened. I didn't see it for like a whole week,” Peggy shook her head slightly, her eyes glistening in the pain of the memories. You shook your head hard, a more violent reaction than you could have anticipated.

“That stupid… stupid asshole! What the fuck made him think I couldn't defend myself?”

“He was trying to do the right thing,” Peggy finally searched your eyes, meeting the red rims that told her you were holding back too hard breaking in front of her, only using that pain mixed with rage to keep you sane.

“And look how that turned out!”

Peggy stretched her hand across the table, with a pleading look asking you to lower your voice, averting her gaze to the hallway. You followed her gaze, for a second forgetting where you were, forgetting that her family was with you behind the doors where you were plunged into darkness. It was past midnight.

You took a second to calm yourself, trying to drown out the uncontrolled emotions and taking deep breaths to calm your fluttering heart.

“And if what you theorize is true…” you regretted the moment those words left your mouth; you didn't even want to finish the sentence.

“Do you think it is?”

“I don't want to,” you shook your head instantly, closing your eyes, the thought sounding illogical inside your head. Your hands on your chest trying to contain the storm of feelings that was making chaos inside your head. “That would mean that everything we did, everything Bucky, Steve and Howard did and sacrificed, was in vain. It will all have been in vain.”

You spent several weeks with that thought in your head, working hand in hand with Peggy, and the organization you barely knew as SHIELD, to track down the whereabouts of the killer of Tony's parents and the one responsible because the Supersoldier's serums were, surely, in the wrong hands.

And yes, it was many years of fruitless missions and dead ends, with you running every field mission and Peggy calling the shots from the New York facility. Every time you felt close to discovering something, it seemed that the enemy rejoiced in your failures and still couldn't understand how they were always three steps ahead.

However, you had to leave the missions when Peggy became ill.

The silent, lethal Alzheimer's.

During the first months in the hospital, she still recognized you. She also recognized her husband and children. But after the first year, she frowned every time her children walked through the door. After a year and a half, her husband had to remind her that they had been married for about forty years.

After two years, she was still only remembering you, Howard, Steve and Bucky. Her whole life during her time in the army was all you talked about, sometimes you would tell her how much more time had passed than she remembered and always, without fail, she would ask you how much you had done in Europe for so long by yourself.

She cried every time she remembered Howard's death. She cried every time she remembered her children. Out of her mouth came a thousand apologies that no one would accept, because there was nothing anyone could do to prevent what had to happen. You wished she had been a serum test subject instead of you.

For several years, missions to find Tony's parents killer were sporadic because you spent more time around Peggy than at the SHIELD facility. She was the only thing you had left of everything you'd ever had, of when you held the world in your hands. She was the last thing keeping you tethered to that reality, keeping madness from flooding your reason. How could you have so many years ahead of you when that was all you had to live for? A life full of the dead, full of pain and suffering. What kind of karma were you paying for?

You were leaving the SHIELD facility, after another failed mission, when Nick Fury stopped you in front of the exit. You almost rolled your eyes right under his watchful gaze, tired of having to meet him anywhere, and exhausted from his comments about this vengeance project or whatever he wanted you to be a part of.

You still didn't know how, being such an exemplary agent, Coulson had fallen into his nets.

“Miss L/N,” the man stopped you with his words, his hands behind his back and a tense stance that caught your attention.

“Fury,” you nodded in his direction, hoping he'd be quick because you were running late for your weekly visit with Peggy. “Do you need anything?”

“I'd like you to come with me somewhere,” Fury approached tentatively, his one eye fixed on your wary expression, which shifted to boredom the moment you thought you knew what he wanted.

“If this is about that project, I've told you a thousand times-”

“No,” he interrupted you, moving forward and removing his hands from behind his back. “It's not related to that. I really want you to come with me.”

“You look agitated, but I need-”

“I'll take you to see Peggy myself after this.”

You didn't like that he knew your routine, even though you weren't doing enough to hide it from the other agents. But Fury looked nervous, even though he was hiding it very well, trying to keep his cool as he looked for ways to convince you.

You figured it wouldn't be a big deal for you to go off the deep end for once. After all, Peggy never remembered you were going to see her.

You set off in Fury's armored vans, not quite sure where you were going, but sure that it was urgent, because he had taken it upon himself to let his driver know that you had to get there as soon as possible.

You took that time on the trip to come up with a new strategy for the next mission because what you were doing up to that point wasn't working and you felt too close to throwing in the towel, figuratively speaking. You could spend years following a ghost, but you wouldn't give up on finding Howard and Maria's killer.

Before the car pulled up to one of SHIELD's secret sections, they passed the giant, imposing Stark Tower. You never saw Tony again after that time at his parents' funeral, not even during his visits to Peggy because you always made it a point not to cross him. You didn't think you'd be able to look him in the eye while you knew his parents had been killed without being able to tell him. You had promised Peggy in her lucid moments that you wouldn't tell him anything until you could find the culprit. You didn't want to initiate that pain if it had to be kept repressed, as yours once was, and probably still is. You had learned, some time after the funeral, that he was living with Edwin Jarvis, and you were glad to know that he would have good companionship to keep him company in such hard times.

Fury, a handful of agents and you entered the vans through the entrance to what appeared to be the parking lot of an old warehouse. Upon entering, the first thing you noticed was the number of armed agents that seemed to be guarding the place, not at all discreet to how SHIELD used to do things. You weren't sure if Peggy would authorize something like that, but you couldn't question the Director's decisions. It wasn't your place.

“What's going on here?” you frowned, watching as every meter there was another agent and another agent. You got out of the car without waiting for an answer from Fury, moving directly toward the entrance where most of the agents were concentrated. You barely noticed their looks in contradiction, running their eyes over you and then over the man trying to catch up to you, dubious as to whether or not they should move. “Move.”

“Wait,” Fury's voice stopped the command in the agents, who turned back to look at you as you sent Fury a confused look.

“What's all this mystery, Nicholas?” the man startled almost discreetly at your tone of voice, the agents stirring uncomfortably, but kept the serene expression that was getting on your nerves. “What the fuck did you do?”

“We got a call from the Arctic.”

“From the Arctic?”

You tried to ignore the way the hairs on your neck instantly stood up, your body alerting you to something your mind still couldn't comprehend. You felt like a deer face to face with a predator, expecting the worst.

“The Colonel informed us of something that might interest us,” Fury's cryptic voice echoed in your ears, drowning out the flicker of uncertainty vibrating from your head to your toes. “They found a plane.”

You didn't even answer him. Your heart began to pound wildly, cornered, ready to have your head bitten off. The tension in your shoulders intensified, with the involuntary movement of your hands as you broke into a cold sweat. The mere implication of his words caused an emptiness in your stomach, a sense of longing and fear you hadn't felt before.

You looked at Fury, trying to find in his gaze the gleam of a lie, but there was nothing there but assurance. There was nothing but recognition and understanding in his gaze, but that didn't make the emptiness in your stomach and the tight chest go away. It didn't make the feeling of being outside your body go away.

You barely remembered to move in the direction of the door, the agents instantly moving out of your way, pushing it so hard that one of them flew out. You moved your eyes around every corner of the room, the cream-colored walls generating a great repulsion in you. And there, in the midst of all the confusion and the storm, a confused and disgruntled face looked back at you. A face you never thought you would see again.

Steve Rogers was standing a few feet away from you, barely comprehending what was happening around him and instantly recognizing you. Your chest compressed once again, the tears you held back for so many years even in your loneliness making their own way into your eyes, endangering to end that mask you wore everywhere you went.

Steve was actually there, looking back at you with his eyes shining in recognition. You didn't know if he was as surprised as you were to react or you looked so bad that he didn't know if he should approach you or not. You just knew it was him, it really was him right there in front of you. He wasn't dead. Steve wasn't dead. He was alive. Ah, he was so alive.

The broken sob that suddenly left you was loud enough to make your friend shed his stupefaction and stride over to where you were. You barely managed to cover your face, between sobs, wails and disbelief, feeling your knees give out, surrendering to the weight of the pain, when his strong arms grabbed your shoulders before you hit the floor. Preventing your fall, as you had wished so many times before.

You cried against his shoulder, when feeling him against your body you knew there was no doubt it was true. You moved your hands away from your face, wrapping them around his waist as tightly and lovingly as you hadn't hugged anyone in so long. Surely the last time you hugged someone like that was when you saw Peggy on your way back from Europe.

Steve wasn't far behind, his arms around your shoulders just as tightly, his chin against the crown of your head, moving from side to side trying to hold back the loud sobs that shook your body.

You couldn't believe it, but it was true, he was right in front of you.

Steve was alive. He had come back to your side. You didn't even want to ask why.

And there was nothing else you could think about for the rest of your life.

#stxrvel talks #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky x you #bucky fluff #bucky barnes angst #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky #james bucky buchanan barnes #winter soldier #the winter soldier #steve rogers

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vortex-detected · 1 year

Text

Under the Stars

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: lee minho x gn!reader 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst. like. so much. but they make up at the end (kinda) so its okay. 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 900+ 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: cursing. angst. im kinda projecting here but oh well. minhos kind of a idiot. jisung makes an appearance (very brief, but needa a warning in itself) 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: you try to reconnect with minho after an argument you guys had. but what happens when he just ghosts you out of nowhere?

A/N: its been.. forever since ive wrote. hello? im sorry it took me so long. ive been in a horrific writers block, but in honor of skz's new comeback and collision having me on a chokehold, you get this. this song is heavily inspired by collision, as its my favorite from the album. this was rushed and is probably really bad, but i kinda liked how it turned out. its also not edited so sorry for any mistakes. anyway stream 5 star and have a good day/night loves!! <3

“Minho..?” You wait for a split second, expecting a response. But you quickly realize it’s a voicemail again. “It’s… It’s [Y/N]. I know we left off on the wrong foot. The… very wrong foot. I just… needed space. And a lot of it. What you had said back there was hurtful, but I’m willing to forgive you, Minho. You just have to pick up. That’s all you have to do,” your breath hitches, you let out a sigh, trying not to cry. “I… really miss you, Minho. I miss everything about you..” a sob can be heard over the phone. “J-Just call me back… o-or text me back. Goodbye, Minho.” With that, you hung up the phone. Waiting for him to listen to the voice message.

And the voice message he heard. He heard all of the ones you left. It was eating him alive. The boys did their best to reconnect you two, but Minho refused. Many. Many times. “Jisung, you know I just… I don’t deserve them after what I said-” “Dude, you realize they’re willing to forgive you… right?” Jisung adds, “Just… call them back. Once. Explain what went through your head.” At that, Minho rolls his eyes. “So what, ‘Hey, [Y/N]. I’m sorry for calling you a clingy asshole and someone who disrespected my boundaries for their own pleasure because-’ you get the point, Jisung.” “But you didn’t mean it… did you?” Jisung asks. “No of course not!” he explains. “Problem solved! See? I’m so good at relationship advice.”

--------------

That was two months ago. Two. Long. Months. It affected Minho a lot. He almost called you one day, but decided against it. His insecurities finally eat him up. He had to do something before it got worse. He was a fucking idiot and he knew it. You kept leaving voice messages for him, and then, it hit him.

You really did want to talk to him.

It took him two months of voice messages piling up, waiting for the day you called him baby again. Like you always did. He missed your voice. And not over the phone. He breathes in deeply as he dials your number. Waiting for you to pick up.

Except… you never did. Now it’s time for Minho to leave the voice messages. “[Y/N]... I’m such a fucking idiot-” He laughs at himself. “I… was too scared to call. Thinking you didn’t want to talk to me ever again. I thought all of these voice messages were stupid fucking pranks. That you were… fucking with me. I was stupid to call you what I did. I know you were just worrying about me and I’m.. really fucking sorry. I’m sorry it took me so long, but please… I want to try again. I’ve been going insane without you.” he sniffles slightly, not really wanting to have a heart to heart over the phone. “Can… Can you meet me at our star gazing spot..? We can talk it out under the stars.”

--------------

Minho waits under your tree. Our tree, you called it. He doesn’t want to taint it as much as hes already tainting it. He’s been there for a good while now. Maybe you didn’t get his message. Had you blocked him? Maybe you chose to ignore it. His thoughts are cut off by a soft “M-Minho…?” He whips around to the sound to see you behind the tree. You smile widely at him, but it's a sad smile. He smiles back the same smile. “Hi…”

You don’t give him enough to talk as you wrap your arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder. “D-Don’t you… ever. fucking ghost me again-” He rubs your back as you cry onto his shoulder. “I-... I won’t. I’m sorry, love.” He realized what he said, ready to apologize, when he hears you giggle. “I missed that… I missed you, Minho.” you say, calming down as he rubs your back. “I missed you too…”

You let go of him, sitting in front of him. “I’m glad you finally decided to come out. I’ve… I’ve been here ever since the break. I come here everyday.” you confess. Minho stares at you wide eyed, blinking a couple of times. “Really? So I could’ve just gone here and you would’ve been here?” You nod your head. “God, I’m such an idiot.” he shakes his head in disbelief. “It’s okay, baby. We all have those moments-” His head perks up at that. “God how long I’ve waited for you to call me that… but I don’t deserve it. Not yet.” he stands up. “M-Min… Don’t leave-”

He never planned on leaving. “[Y/N]. I’m so sorry-... I should’ve never said anything I said that night. I didn’t mean a word of it. I was just so fucking stressed and I took it out on the first thing that tipped me over the edge. And… I guess it was you. I don’t really remember what you did, but I’m just…” he holds your hands in his, as he stares at you in the eyes. “I’m so. Fucking sorry. I don’t want to… I don’t want to be the one to destroy our relationship. I-... I can’t. I’d feel like shit if I truly did. Let me make it up to you… Let me start fresh, okay?” He stares at you, hoping you would take his apology.

“I would love that, Minho.”

#lee know fanfic #stray kids x reader #lee know x reader #lee know x you #lee know angst #stray kids angst #skz x reader #im sorry #idk why i did this lol #skz imagines #stray kids imagines

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fxckn-sxck-fr · 2 months

Note

Okay so maybe this it too dark, but I’m taking a chance because your inbox said “disgusting or dark themes” lmao. Imagine Dick goes through with the paralyzing of his darling, and it’s successful, but something goes wrong during one of his patrols, and he gets knocked out/kidnapped or other. Now Darling is there in the apartment all by herself, with no way to move or care for herself. I imagine she’d be incredibly sick if enough time passed, like near death if she’d been allowed to just sit there for a few days or more. What would dicks reaction be once he finally made it back to her and saw her in that state? Would it be enough for him to admit what he’s doing is wrong, or would he rationalize it away?

Love your work btw!! 💗 you keep us fed!

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇…

!!! GN reader, paralyzed reader, drugging, starvation, dehydration, brief blood mention (extremely non-graphic), emaciation, near death experience, brief mention of poor hygiene, feeding tube, infantilizing.

(I know this ask uses she/her pronouns, but I thought it was better to keep this consistent with the other immobilization asks, so I used the same gender neutral reader.)

(Also, how dare you think this is too dark for this blog. I eat this shit up, MM-MM-MMMMMMMMMMMMM.)

I’ve actually wondered about this before. If you’ve seen my previous asks, then you know that yandere Dick Grayson is still all in with the hero game. This already has an impact on his ability to care for you, as he sometimes comes home later than he’d want to, so it’s only natural that something like this would happen.

I can see him having to leave for a Nightwing emergency around noon-ish. You’re left sitting upright in his bed, head lulling to one side with your hands delicately poised in your lap like a porcelain doll. Now, whether you imagine him paralyzing just your legs or your arms as well, I think it’s safe to say he’d still keep you on a drug that immobilizes as a precaution, so the only movement you can manage is your eyes. With any luck, he wraps up whatever he needs to quickly and he brings you back to the living room where you can at least watch TV. You can only sit alone with your thoughts for so long before you become just as fucking insane as your captive has…

Noon turns into evening. Evening turns into night. Your stomach bubbles uncomfortably from the lack of dinner, making it difficult to fall asleep. Still no signs of Dick when you finally manage to drift off, and when you wake up the next morning, your mouth feels like sand paper. A loud gurgle emits from your stomach, your groggy mind filled with prayers that Dick got home last night and is currently preparing your breakfast in the kitchen, but those holes slowly diminish as the hours tick by, the pain in your stomach becoming almost unbearable.

From the corner of your eye, you can see your IV drip practically empty. This confirms the unfortunate reality that Dick has yet to return; otherwise, he’d take the needle out of your arm, or at the very least, replaced the bag. You’re still unable to move with the drug still in your blood stream, but as soon as it wears off, you plan to use the limited control you have over your body to at least try and inchworm your way out of here… or even just to the kitchen.

By the time you approach the 24-hour mark of Dick’s sudden departure, you feel like you’re agonizingly rotting away. Dehydration is making your mind fuzzy, but before you’re granted the release of passing out, starvation sharply pulls your consciousness back in. This a persistent cycle that taunts you through the day, midnight providing a small reprieve as your mind finally shuts down before the torture begins again in the morning.

The drug has long left your system, allowing you to try and generate some moisture in your mouth. You viscously gnaw at the inside of your cheeks, swallowing the chunks of skin you manage to tear off and almost crying in relief when you’re blessed with the flavor of blood. It’s not much, as you doubt you can survive off this alone, but it would tide you over long enough until Dick showed up, right?

… He’s on his way home… right?

It’s been 3 whole days. You’re fighting a losing battle between a mouth filled with sand and a stomach trying to digest itself. Through your bleary vision, you can vaguely make out the outline of bones in your arms, the twist of the radius and ulna prominently bulging through your skin. Drifting between two planes of consciousness, you tried to focus on anything other than your eminent demise, like memories before this never-ending hell or the smell of your own horrendous odor.

This is it. This is how you die. If you didn’t feel like your brain was slowly turning into mud, you might’ve been more afraid. But fortunately for you, death seemed to be kind enough to numb your thoughts entirely, allowing you to pass on with serenity rather than terror. This may have been the most merciful thing the universe has been towards you in the past several months. After weeks of being a captive in your own body, you’re finally being relieved of this nightmare…

… But, of course, you should’ve known you would never be granted the privilege of pity.

Dick is greeted with the horrifying sight of you on death’s doorstep by the time he stumbles into his room. After making sure you’re still alive — and almost sobbing from relief when he feels a feint pulse — he quickly prepares an IV bag of actual sustainable fluids to replace the empty one filled with just the drug. Hopefully, it would be enough to stabilize your electrolyte levels until he can put you on a feeding tube.

Now, remember that Dick isn’t an idiot; he does his research before doing any sort of medical procedure on you, and it helps that he already has some preexisting knowledge thanks to his field of work. But, again, since he isn’t an idiot, he knows that there’s only so much he can do as one guy, and a condition like this requires a team of professionals who can monitor your vitals and nutrient levels. There’s a chance he may actually take you to Gotham, either to Leslie’s Thompkin’s clinic or even the Batcave depending on what’s closer. I think it’s possible that Leslie and/or Bruce are already aware of your paralysis, albeit not the true story behind it. Dick wouldn’t have to explain himself much other than the reason he couldn’t take care of you for the past couple of days.

However, after you’re fully stabilized, it would only be a matter of time before someone talks to Dick about what’s good for you. Having your only caretaker be a vigilante who can’t always be there for you is a huge risk to your safety. Leslie, and/or Bruce would try to convince him to move you into the manor, where Alfred could keep an eye on you, but Dick would only be enraged at the suggestion. He almost just lost you, and now they want to take you away from him?! He’s the only one who can take care of you because he knows what’s good for you!!

(The cracks in Dick’s carefully crafted façade are showing… Leslie and/or Bruce can only hope this is just him being overwhelmed from all that’s happened.)

Anyways. One way or another, you find yourself waking up to the familiar sight of Dick’s ceiling. The stinging sensation of a feeding tube irritates your nostril, and you feel like you’ve just been hit by a steamroller. Dick immediately takes to your side the moment he realizes you’re awake, desperately clutching your hand (which you can’t feel, cuz… y’know… paralysis) as he sobs into the bony crook of your neck. He’s practically in hysterics; the way he gasps for air between agonizing wails makes you distantly worry he’s gonna pass out on your weak form.

So, what would be Dick’s takeaway from this? Does he finally recognize how fucked up it is to paralyze someone so he can take care of them easier? Well… no. Not at all. In fact, as soon as he’s allowed himself to grieve over the fact you almost fucking died, he realizes that this is actually perfect for him. You’re in a critical state and he needs to nurse you back to health? He absolutely adores coddling you to the extreme, so this is like living the dream. Really, the only thing he regrets is not putting you on a more sustainable drug before he left (though it’s not like he could foresee his initial Nightwing emergency going south like that. But it’s okay, cuz now he knows to take precautions!!).

Your recovery would take months, but things return to normal very quickly… much to your anguish.

#❥ CALL INCOMING: DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES?#❥ TW: YANDERE #❥ YANDERE CHARACTER #❥ PLATONIC YANDERE #❥ YANDERE DICK GRAYSON #❥ YANDERE DICK GRAYSON X READER #❥ GN READER

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pommunist · 2 months

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kind of feeling like the rest of the fandom just wants french fans to shut up and leave already :|... why should we be trusting quackity when he hasnt even given any more updates on anything. ("ill keep you updated everyone" -quackity (lying) on his stream addressing issues). "trust that theyre working on it!!!" is starting to feel more and more like people are actually meaning "omg stop complaining so much!!! youre ruining my enjoyment".

of course the new announcements feel like damage control why would we expect anything else? they refuse to talk about anything and start to dangle shiny new things in front of the rest of the fandom so they get distracted from french complaints. why should we trust that anything is happening when the syndicat says that the fired admins havent even been contacted by anyone after more than a week?

im so done at this point :|. i cant even lurk on twitter anymore because all the french accounts i looked at either went inactive, private, or deactivated entirely because of how many death threats they were getting for daring to expect more of quackity.

i dont necessarily think Q was lying or is trying to sweep the situation under the rug but yeah ! people can and SHOULD be wanting more communication and transparency

the « stop complaining and trust bc you’re just spreading negativity » mindset that im sometimes seeing is driving me INSANE like ?? this isn’t discourse or drama it’s a workers rights violation 😳 personally what is ruining my enjoyment of the server is knowing that the characters and story ive loved for months was built on the exploitation of people who also loved the project. that and the fact that it seems like the community im a part of was a second thought the whole time 😳

and this isn’t only a french issue like yes most of the ex admins who spoke up were french but the issues impact every community !

I know that since this is a BIG issue it’s gonna take time to solve and i can even understand keeping the server running but introducing so many new people + an awards event right now is so idk….

I also feel bad for the korean and german creators who are coming in at such a bad timing

and yes broke my heart seeing the admins who spoke up as well as big twitter accounts from qsmptwt having to stop expressing themselves/receive crazy amounts of hate/deactivate bc they’re so done with the situation and receiving so few support

#qsmp discourse #quackity neg #idk tagging just in case #some q fans are so parasocial it’s impacting negatively the qsmp fandom view of him

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elisedonut · 3 months

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thinking about that royalty Flintley au

Where Marcus is like a troll prince and kidnaps Percy because he just sees him and is smitten

ive thought about this on and off for like a year but here are some random thoughts

I think the first time Marcus sees him he is no where near where he's supposed to be like their marching for battle or something and get turned around or something like that and just coming to a river and there he is the most beautiful man he's ever seen (his second in command thinks he's insane btw). On their way back he intentionally finds the stream again and follows it until he sees Percy again.

And once he makes it home immediately talks to his parents about beginning the courting processes

in my head its a similar thing of mistaken courting like a shell for a mate but this time it's Marcus misunderstanding things and thinking hes doing such a good job courting this pretty common boy who may or may not be an elf(it switches back and forth between being a legit elf and just compared to one in my head)

Marcus is leaving him gifts for months before attempting to take him away which in this case is custom in his kingdom

leaving enough food for his family every week or so for months and leaving pretty but practical things where Percy can find them (weapons clothes stuff of that nature) To show that he can provide for him but staying hidden because part of it is showing your a good enough warrior not to get caught. Getting caught leaving gifts means your not good enough.

And Percy keeps accepting these things or at least seeming too from Marcus' perspective because obviously if you can't find the owner of something in the woods well that means it's yours now right?

The first time Marcus leaves food for him though it fails big time though because he starts with already prepared things that make the Weasleys skeptical about it for obvious reasons(of the is that even safe to eat kind of variety) which Marcus then interprets as Percy taking offense to the notion that he cant like hunt for himself and such and so leads to Marcus instead leaving like living animals instead like a full fish net still set up in the water right where Percy typically fishes

anyway

so then after a few months of this Marcus actually nabs him and is a little pissed that his family didn't put up much of a fight because they should have known this was about to happen and just letting Percy go off on his own still is pretty disrespectful to him in his opinion because from Marcus' pov that comes across like they don't care who he marries and like yeah he's the Prince but in theory they don't know that

but they don't know that but they also don't realize that all the weird luck happening recently had been a courting ritual (or maybe they do but guessed wrong on the person being courted??)

So yeah Percy is pissed at being kidnapped but cant just leave because the King and Queen would rather him be dead then let him from there perspective back out of their marriage so he's kinda stuck

and that's all i got

it works out in the end because they just like get to know one another and stuff idk but its a fun concept imo!

#percy weasley #marcus flint #flintley #coming up with weird like societies is very fun imo but courting is especially fun to think about #maybe also omegaverse just for drama sake but specifically Alpha!Percy/Omega!Marcus because its the most fun in this scenario imo #if so though then Marcus being an Omega is a secret and another part why the king and queen refuse to let Percy leave #The Weasleys live in a cabin in the woods near a stream in this c:

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its-moopoint · 8 months

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We saw who were the people at the funeral. No question about T holding his son than C holding him with T next to her. We saw C and her younger brother sitting together in the same row with their mom and sisters. No son in law with them. All of them were in the second row. But, OL shippers have crossed the line of decency and sanity a long time ago to still be shocked by the lies they tell their followers. They are psychotic.

Anonymous asked:

I have some questions about the funeral pics. I haven't seen the footage myself but Ive heard that Tony was there holding the baby. Was he there with the baby? If so, wouldn't the baby want to reach for his real parents ?

odessa-2

Please refer to my previous recent post of Kevin v Sam pics. Tony was not holding a baby. In fact I do not think he was present at all. He was subsequently photoshopped into that train wreck of a photoshop 'funeral pap shot'. Kevin was the black masked bandit holding a baby. They cleverly played some musical chairs in the church in an attempt to bamboozle. It only worked on some.

They had to quickly come up with a game plan for Mr Balfe's sudden and unexpected demise and the panicked foray resulted in the ultimate revelation of the truth. We got the proof we were all finally looking for under very unfortunate and tragic circumstances.

As for the baby and to who he belonged to. I feel that it's irrelevant at this point. Sam was clearly in attendance not only merely attending his 'costar's' father's funeral, but sitting right next to her, embracing her and and comforting her mother. Whether the baby was theirs and being held by uncle Kev, or whether it was a nephew of Cait's doesn't matter.

If you watched the stream carefully, it was evident that SC did turn around to face the baby and look at him. It was also clear that Sam was very familiar with another little boy who went up to the alter. So familiar in fact that when he turned his head sideways to show us his big ol forehead (purposely imo), we saw that he was authoritatively directing the young lad and instructing him what to do. That raised my antennae. Sam even stood up. We see you Captain .

It was such an explosion of truth and such a threat to their almost 10 year whopper of a lie some serious damage control was pencilled in. Hence why they dragged out McGoul for the 40 day memorial service and vanished Sammy boy.

balfeheughanmm

i really don't like having t’s face on my blog. if you scroll down you will see that i am telling the truth. lately this has been happening because of the issues we have been talking about here, but never before. my blog is about sc.

sometimes, to talk about a truth (or a lie), we need photos to better explain the narrative. THIS IS THE POST! this explains so much, guys. as i said before, Sam Holand Heughan was there so comfortably. so we see that no lie lasts forever. we all already know the truth. some still don't want to see.

and about the paternity of these children? for god’s sake! i can't believe a narrative in which she is actually married to t and has a real child with him and cheats on him with s. that's crazy. INSANE.

the only truth i believe is: s is the father of one or more children. they are a couple. a family. and the truth about this family came out at a funeral. so sad. actually everything about this is so sad and has become increasingly sad for me. i think that's why people leave the fandom. i start to understand them. and YES, they know that we know. when will they stop?

mariaae

Reblog for the truth!

jclovely

Death has a sting, in this case TRUTH was revealed. Hope SC will stop lying. It causes destruction and more destruction. We do not wish it to them, that is why we warn them. STOP TRUTH SETS YOU FREE.

citrinesun

There was much discussion at the time about the blond child C is holding. I’m not saying that’s not her child, but this pic of the child on the right does look suspiciously similar. The baby on the right is William, Prince of Wales at at the same age, more or less.

auburncurlslass

Wigs that can be purchased off the internet. Sam was wearing a wig to hide the fact that he had recently gotten hair implants. The shortness of his hair is evidence that plugs were removed and inserted into the frontal crown of his skull. To have this procedure done, the person's hair must be nearly buzzed to the scalp. Sam wore the wig to disguise his recent procedure. The number receipt is the shape of Sam's large forehead. There's no doubt it is Sam Heughan next to Caitriona. As for those Las Vegas photos...it's called AI and/or latergrams. Remember, he's an actor...all the tools of the trade are at his disposal.

Anonymous

Was t at the funeral ?

odessa-2

Not from what I could see.

2truthsandalie5

Agree!

I read blah blah blah rubbish blah blah blah. And it all sumps up in one thought: if they are able to manipulate and lie about stuff we are all are seeing happen live imagine the fanfic they've written over the years and share as canon that never took place.

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salted-caramel-tea · 5 months

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Are you leaving dtblr?

no i was saying the other day ive just been rlly busy lately between finals and work and christmas prep so i haven’t had much free time but im using this as an excuse to go on another ramble about community dynamics

i’ve already talked about this but i honestly have considered just moving on a few times now bc it’s so .. divisive here at times . Even things as trivial as who ships what has started several full on vaguing sessions across my dash with people screaming that being a multi shipper is homophobic or that dnfers are the main issue with the community neither or which are true and it’s insane that it’s still ongoing like it’s a serious problem with a lot of different people from different shipping communities lacking any kind of maturity in all honesty.

another thing is the karl neg . like nobody is asking anybody to enjoy karl’s content or to watch him but the kind of speculation over his intentions his friendships his creative ventures when he actually hasn’t done anything wrong except annoy people a little just doesn’t sit right with me . its also kinda hypocritical considering how our fanbase likes to preach live and let live and that we have no say in dteams friendships esp in the discourse surrounding q. like again .

theres also a problem with cliques but i feel like a lot of the discourse over cliques ive seen in the past couple months has been targeting friend groups more than cliques like no girl people can have groups of friends in the community lmao but like the platforming of friend groups trying to make them the equivalent of influencers in a fan community just has never seemed like a good idea liek this over glorification of other fans in the community just seems weird to me like ? idk i just wouldn’t try to establish fan community hierarchies they’re never good

it’s just felt a whole lot less fun logging in lately because unless you have a group of friend established in ways where you communicate frequently outside of tumblr then you’re just logging on to see shipping discourse . why i hate x creator . dranti tweets to report . You’re Bad If You Ship This . and two people vaguing each other about something so incredibly unimportant and trivial or competing to be the best poster for their chosen creator amongst all the art and fics and nice posts coming from people who you’ve followed for years or who are popular people to see in the fanbase and it’s just like . not very fun anymore bc ppl started taking it way too seriously .

idk i still watch streams if im awake for them and i still like coming online but i find myself rolling my eyes a lot more recently

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superfluouskeys · 5 months

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going thru my bookmarks trying to think what directors cut to ask for that i havent harassed you into speaking directly into the camera on stream or into replying to an unhinged comment i left with and what ive arrived at is All Falls Down.

OH WOW.

WHAT A FIC LOL.

oh man that was one of those fics that just made me actively insane and I couldn't do anything until I finished it LOL. but that was true of my whole joan ferguson era i was just chronically Unwell about her.

Going off of what I was talking about on a prev ask, I think the only part of that fic that I hate is the end of the last chapter LOL, I feel like I froze up at the culmination and didn’t do a great job with it, and I don’t feel like the tone is right? I think actually what it is is that the whole fic was so dark and depressing that I wanted to give it a happy ending even though I’m not sure that was what fit with the vibe. Like the rest of the fic is really dark! I think the ending is too soft, or soft in the wrong way, and that’s what bothers me about it.

I think I often get into this mindset of wanting my fics to be “worth it” for people who invested in them, especially since I’m such a slow updater, which isn’t a bad thing per se, but I feel that in a lot of things I wrote after, like, the middle-end of The Prisoner I tended to pull a lot of punches, where I personally might have liked to make my work a little darker or harsher, but I was just sort of nervous about the reaction I would get or if I was like “perpetuating harmful narratives” or something LOL. Stay off the internet kids, people’s terrible takes on fiction can and will rot your brain!

That said, I’m really proud of the rest of the fic—I actually reread it pretty recently! I think it was actually quite a challenge for me to write at the time, and as a result I really grew from it—as I’ve mentioned already, I think I was really insecure about the direction I wanted to take with the prompt, and especially because a friend had asked me to write it, I felt really nervous about pushing it too far? But I don’t think I had ever actually made homophobia a major theme/plot point in my work, at least not since I was like, really young, and I think I also imbued a lot of things I personally very deeply related to into parts of the story, which is always, like… It can be hard to write about things that are really directly personal to you, but it can also come off really well since you have the firsthand experience LOL, so it’s a delicate balance, but I think in this case it mostly came out really well!

You know what’s funny, I feel like now the childhood friend plotline would be like SO in my wheelhouse LOL, I made the choice to create a supporting character who has a limited role and serves a vital narrative function enough times that now I’m like OHOHO hell yeah I can think of a great idea for a little side character like that, easy! But at the time it was a big challenge for me, and once again I’m not sure how I feel about the culmination I added for that character—I think the intention was to humanize her a little more by giving her some doubt/regret about her choice, but I think I could have given her a lot more nuance generally.

One of my favorite threads in the fic is, like, Joan desperately wanting to be seen and loved and desired the way she is, and not because someone has just decided out of some misguided sense of charity to ignore the things about her that are hard to swallow. And I think I could have really pushed that a lot farther and gotten more traction out of it. At least as far as I can recall, Joan comes off fairly noble throughout most of the fic—I think she could have been meaner LOL!

what a fic!!! I still have a lot of fondness for this fic obviously!

Fanfic Writer Director's Cut Ask Game!

#thank you for indulging meeee!!!!!!#exciting tag for answered asks #exciting tag for writing things #personal #fic:all falls down #pcbh #joan ferguson #all joans are good joans #wow it's been awhile since i used that tag!!!

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chthonicgodling · 2 months

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WELL here’s my stream of consciousness thoughts typed at 1 am when I had made this post about not posting anything further (ORIGINAL DATE: JANUARY 4TH) and what I’d wanted to post had been this rambly thing, please read the contents of my brain gnawing through the metaphorical walls oh my GOD— ahem:

Loki “I’ve never had a child on purpose” L*ufeyson being clung to by Tory and Maci, “both so fucking possessive” (“is that a bad thing?” “…no”), whose response to that has been okay well let’s get you pregnant on purpose then, and note that that initial statement by Loki anyway was in response to “no I do want a baby with you” which came so fast out of left field that the whiplash and rose colored hearteyes seduction of it all led to a split second decision that was. okay not entirely rationally made, (upon further reflection by a god who’s notoriously cagey and suspicious and —)

oh my god yeah jesus 14 entire kids and STILL never had a child on purpose consciously, subconsciously speaking is a different story but you didn’t hear that from me but ALSO it’s been a decade since the last baby Loki carried - that was Rane in Elysium, before that was Fjöer, but afterwards (Eisa - Einmyria - Vryk - Kaia - Sæunn - lmao Libby?) each were the other way around, AND so ten YEARS ago was a very different - Loki doesn’t cuddle Loki doesn’t do domesticity Loki’s off standing coldly and sneering in the corner while everyone else is piled in a heap making desperate grabby hands for him, at least that was the case for the previous years and years until. like. this last year and a half but ONLY with Maci and Tory. where PREVIOUSLY Rane and Fjöer had each been another standard cut and paste “bolt and hide” situation due to anxious paranoia, through all of Fjöer and briefly through Rane before returning to the palace when pregnant with her and — returning with hackles raised and guard up and starting fights with everyone around the entire time because. like I just said, he doesn’t Do DomesticiTY or— well he never DID until—

ten years later not only is this The First Baby On Purpose it’s also the first fucking bAby in which — like come the fuck on are Tory and Maci letting go of him for any amount of time ever???? absolutely fucking not?????? This is a Can You Fucking Relax We Are Taking Care of You Whether You Like It Or Not Because You’re Safe With Us And Don’t You Forget It-

and the very strange emotional tangled web disaster that has already existed this whole time - LIKE IM WRITING ALL THIS AND THEYRE NOT IN ANY WAY A FORMAL THROUPLE NOR WILL THEY BE THIS IS JUST— ?! ITS SO MUCH *MORE* INSANE THAT THEYRE NOT A THROUPLE LMAO???? - WELL that’s about to crescendo into an absolute tsunami because this!!! Is also The First Baby in which Loki’s accidentally stumbled INTO domesticity and. well that’s a very different vibe to be pregnant within f,,,For the first time oh, ever. that’s. that’s very.

in short. essentially. I am going to lose my mind.

AND THATS NOT ALL JUST WAIT

PHEW IVE HAD TO KEEP THIS IN MY BRAIN SINCE JANUARY. I’m sssSsooOoOoooOoooooOooOOOO—

#Taki fuego #oc talk #pregnancy :#GGGODDDD

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