#just to make a dumb joke that isn't even that funny | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 1 year

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it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.

#something something toxic relationships notwithstanding #(re: the friends stuff)#most people love you. automatically. for being alive. like people are just MADE that way.#and the reason kms jokes don't always land is bc people fucking love you and are like - ahhh how do i help #let them help you!!!!!!

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medicinemane · 10 months

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Elon Musk is (unintentionally) a very very funny man

Probably shouldn't be in charge of massive companies though

#he's one of the greatest jesters ever to live... it's just... jesters probably shouldn't have massive economic impacts #cause like this man can cause millions to vanish is seconds because he's making a dumb joke #(and I do mean vanish; because stock isn't actually tied to anything... it's not like twitter stock is backed by gold standard)#(it's not like when twitter stock goes down in price that money's going anywhere)#and I actually really wouldn't care about that even a little... but I get that that's also more layoff and that #much as I hate twitter; archival wise it would be very bad to lose #anyway... elon musk... one of the few people... perhaps the only one to make a 420 blaze it joke that got investigated by the FTC #it's funny that he fucked up at making the joke so badly it was stock manipulation and he had to pay a fine #... but he really probably shouldn't be in charge of anything more important than a toaster #and... I don't know that I'd trust him with that either... I... I kind of have my doubts he knows how to use one #he seems like the kind of person who just pays someone to make all his food for him... I feel like he'd manage to burn a house down #he'd go to use the toaster; but then he'd shit into tesla mode and make an infernal conflagration instead

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gojonanami · 6 months

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JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY.

↳ JJK MEN: HOW THEY FUCK YOU WHEN THEY'RE JEALOUS

↳ feat. satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami, choso kamo, yuta okkotsu

cw: 18+ only, nsfw, overstimulation (f!), dick drunk, orgasm delay (f!), riding, semi-exhibitionism, spanking, teasing, dom! geto, soft dom! nanami, breeding, body worship, pleasure dom! choso, unprotected sex, creampie, marking, oral (f!), fingering (f!), facesitting (f!), marking (f!), geto uses the term "monkeys," degradation (slut) in geto's blurb, ijichi and ino mentioned in gojo's and choso's blurbs respectively, a/n: the only way to read the title is to the tune of olivia rodrigo's song. also its my first time writing yuta - be gentle.

SATORU GOJO | overstimulation, dick drunk, orgasm delay

jealous of laughing at another's joke

"T-Toru, ngh, please, I can't—" and you're only met with a laugh, his lips pressed against your neck, as his cock continued to fuck you.

How many times had you cum? You had lost count. Your cunt was soaked with your release, along with your thighs and his cock, slipping down his skin as he fucked you hard and fast.

He was relentless, maybe limitless, especially today.

"You can handle it, sweetheart, know this little cunt can take it," he's grunting, as his fingers dig into your plush thighs, "haven't broken this pussy yet," and you couldn't bring yourself to be concerned about the "yet" as he brought you to cum yet again, and you were sure if every word hadn't been fucked out of your brain— it had now.

Your eyes were glazed over, fucked out, as you stared up at him, as only pauses a moment, to press your thighs to your chest, "gonna fuck you right, baby, gotta kiss your womb," and you're whining, and he's only pistoning in deeper, "not so funny now huh?" he's hissing as you grow even fuckin' tighter — how was that possible?

"what are you—" and you whine as his tip grazes even deeper, and you're sure he's somehow fucking your stomach now, "are you jealous of Ijichi?"

"Don't say his name," he gives a particularly rough thrust of his hips to punctuate his point, drawing another squeal from your lips, and yet he's the one who brings him up, "fuckin' laughing at his joke like I wasn't even there. He isn't funny. Nowhere as funny as me!" and you're already close again, tears pooling in your eyes, as you stammer.

Was he really that upset because you laughed at an old friend's bad joke?

"Toru, a-are you serious—" and he's slowing down now to a tortuous pace, as you whimper, "baby, he just made a joke, I was being polite," you can't even laugh at how ridiculous it is with how badly you want to cum.

"Only i'm supposed to see that smile, that laugh," and he's teasing you with the tip of his cock now, dragging it in teasing circles around your clit, "you're mine, mine to make smile, make to make laugh, mine to fuck," and he's fucking you again, bottoming out in one thrust, "say it, baby, tell me who you belong to,"

And your back is arching, throat raw as you tell him just how much he owns you, as you orgasm for the nth time, and he's not far behind, his hot release spurting into your needy cunt, as he fucks it only deeper.

"Toru," you moan again, "Toru, fuck," you murmur, fucked dumb by his dick, as you both come down from your highs, "were you really that jealous of—"

And he only pouts, pressing his lips to yours again, "Don't say his name," and he's pressing needy kisses to your neck, as he pulls out, your mixed cum leaking out, before he's slipping two fingers in, pulling another moan from your lips, "by the time I'm done with you, you won't even remember his name."

SUGURU GETO | riding, semi-exhibitionism, dom!geto, spanking, degradation (slut)

jealous of you talking about someone else

"Princess, you can do better than that," Suguru is clicking his tongue, as you split yourself open on his cock, warm walls squeezing all too deliciously around his already drenched dick, as only whines and pants left your kiss ruined lips, "gonna have to be quieter than that if you don't want someone else to hear—"

He had you riding him in a side room of a temple he used often to collect money, some his other followers congregated in the room over to hear him "preach of the new world." Bullshit that he fed to monkeys that made them full and happy and complacent -- but right now, he had something else that was making you feel so full.

"C'mon baby, ride me like you mean it," he coos, and his hand is coming down on your ass with a mean spank to your already sore ass, heat blooming from the impact, "you certainly had plenty of effort when you were sweet-talking those damn monkeys, didn't you?"

"Sugu, I was just trying to help," you whine, as his hips snap against yours, making you squeal, as he finds his way even deeper into your already fucked out cunt, "I just was--"

"You were flirting," he hisses, as his hands find their way to your hips, forcing you to meet his upward thrusts, as your hands cover your mouth to muffle your moans, "you love this, love it when I fuck you like this, think you want them to see you like this, grinding on my cock like a slut," you whine, but his words only makes your sweet cunt give a telltale clench around his dick, "that's it — you can lie, but your princess cunt can't, baby,"

"Sugu, please 'm close—can't—" and his hands are pulling back, letting you do all the work, and you do, fucking yourself stupid on his cock, the wet squelch of your pussy ringing in your ears — so loud, you can't understand why someone hasn't burst into the room yet— but you can't bring yourself to care, when you're so fuckin' close to cumming.

"That's it, fuck, s'good for me," and he's pulling your hands away from your mouth, letting your moans resonate and fill the room, as he watches a white ring of your cum form around the base of his cock, as he grunts, dick twitching as your walls cream around his cock, "now moan my name as you cum so these goddamn monkeys know whose cock you're bouncing on."

KENTO NANAMI | soft!dom, breeding, hair pulling

jealous of running into an ex

"Did he ever make you feel this good?" Kento's question murmured against your neck, as he presses soft kisses to your neck, dragging his leaking tip against your aching cunt, "did he love you like I did?" And his fingers sneak under your head, making your neck arch as he tugged your hair.

"N-no, Kento, he didn't—"

"He certainly acted as if we were the same," he scoffed at the thought of your ex, the one you had dated before Kento, who had the audacity to approach the two of you today. Catching up with you and even touching your arm, as if your husband wasn't there, even ignoring him, until you introduced him. They had shook hands, and you knew Kento had squeezed his hand a little too hard, but now those same hands were gripping you softly — but firmly.

"He's nothing compared to you you're everything to me," and he's rewarding you with sinking his tip into your needy pussy, "ah, Kento, please stop teasing me," you whine, a noise leaving your throat that you didn't even know you could make.

"You're practically sucking me in, but did you do the same for that bastard?" he's dragging his cock up and down, driving you insane with how your walls squeezed, trying to pull him in, but he resisted every tempting contraction of your sweet cunt, "did you take him this well?" and his teeth graze against the soft skin of your neck, "did he make you beg for him?"

"Only you make me feel this good, only you, Kento, only you make me this needy, make this pussy so—" and he's sinking into you, slowly, torturously, but pleasurably — inch by inch, until he's bottoming out, but he doesn't move, not at first, "please, Kento, please—move—"

And he obliges you, thrusting into you, fucking you in earnest, his cock dragging against your walls with each snap of his hips agianst yours, "such a needy baby," he grunts, "your cunt is trying to hold onto me even as I pull out — is that how much you want my cock? Want me to fill you?"

You're nodding, moaning his name, as you meet his lips in messy kiss, all tongue and teeth, as he fucks you harder, "Look at me, baby," he orders, and your eyes flutter open, meeting his lust clouded gaze, making you all the more sensitive to his touch, "want you to watch me as I breed you," and you're groaning, pussy twitching at the thought, "how're you even tighter?" he grunts, "want me to breed you, don't you? Want me to fill you with my cum? Make you full with my children," and your head is thrown back, voice raw as you can only groan his name again and again.

"Kento, mmph, 'm s'close, can't,"

"Cum for me, baby, let me fill you," he's finding your lips in another sloppy kiss as you cum, hard, walls gripping him as he fucked you through your orgasm. And he's cumming too right behind you, filling your womb with his hot release, "good girl," he murmurs, pressing sweet kisses to your chest, "but if you think I'm done, we're far from finished," and he's pulling out slowly, before gathering his cum that leaked out on his fingers before slipping it back into your still sensitive cunt, "we're not going to be getting much sleep tonight, love."

CHOSO KAMO | body worship, pleasure dom, oral(f), squirting, implied oral (m!)

jealous of a fellow sorcerer flirting

"Cho-so! Nugh, please—" your fingers buried in his black locks, hair ties long since come loose from your tugging — and you're not even sure if you want to pull him closer, or push him away, "i can't—"

"I know you have more in you, my love," he's only murmuring against your sweet cunt, tongue flicking against your swollen clit, "need to feel you flood my mouth, need to taste every inch of you,” he’s re-doubling his efforts, his hot tongue dragging your gummy walls, making good on his promise, “sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted — how are you this perfect? How do I deserve you?” You look at him, nestled between your thighs, his lips and chin glossy with your release, tongue darting out to lick your pre from his lips.

“Choso, y-you do, I love you, only you,” and he’s peering up at you with a lidded gaze — but you see something else besides lust — insecurity lined his furrowed brow, and then it clicks, “you know that Ino was just being friend—"

But he’s burying his face back, fucking your cunt his his tongue, as his thumb teases your needy clit, your words falling away to pleasure.

“It wasn’t just friendly. He wants you. I know the lustful gaze of a man, especially one who wants what I have,” he mutters, as his teeth graze your inner thigh, drawing a gasp from your lips, “but how do I have the right to you? Half curse, half human — what am I really to have the right to be with you?” And then he bites your thigh, pulling a loud moan from your lips, “but I can’t help but want you.”

“I love you, only you, I don’t care what you are. I love everything about you because you’re mine. My Choso,” you manage between pants, as your fingers tug his hair to force him to meet your gaze — make him see the state he’s left you in — utterly fucked out with your chest rising and falling, your eyes glazed over with lust, “please, I need you—"

And that’s all he needs to redouble his errors, rubbing himself on the mattress below him, certainly soaking through his boxers and the sheets.

“Mmph, Choso, please, I’m—“ and his lips latch around your clit, sucking hard, until you squirt on his face, and he’s eagerly lapping up your release, as you moan his name. He’s slurping and swallowing your cum with lips quirked in a smile, his groans and grunts only making your cunt flutter around his tongue.

And he’s pulling away finally, an unspoken question on his lips whether he did well, and your only response is to pull him into a kiss, tasting yourself on his lips, before flipping him over. You kiss your way down his body, as you tug his boxers down to free his erection, tongue grazing the underside, making him groan.

You grin, “My turn.”

YUTA OKKOTSU | fingering (f!), marking, face sitting

jealous of an ex you just broke up with

“Yuta, please—" the last word comes out a squeal, as his calloused fingers tease the crotch of your shorts, a warm heat settling over your skin all at once but all too slowly — like the start of a wildfire.

"I told you I'd help you forget about him," he murmurs, his long and lithe fingers all too skilled, as they snap the waistband of your shorts against your skin, "he never deserved you - you're special, especially to me," and he's pulling down your shorts, until you're kicking them away at your feet.

And this fire had spread far too fast — especially with his fingers teasing your folds through your soaked panties.

“Still thinking about him?” Yuta asks softly, his words soft but not the intent, and he only sighs at your whine, "I'll have to do better for you then," and his fingers slip past your ruined underwear as they tug the fabric down your thighs, making butterflies bloom in your stomach before they surely burst into flames from the fire Yuta is brewing, as two fingers part your dripping folds, "already so wet? I've barely started,"

"Yuta," and he's pausing, as you try to form a sentence, but only comes out as a single word, "more," and his lips quirk into a smile.

"Of course," and he's fucking you open nice and slow, your pre slipping down his fingers onto your hardwood living room floor, "i've been wanting to do this for so long — has your ex ever done this for you?" and you only swallow, whining when he stops, only continuing when you shake your head, "you deserve so much, you deserve the world," and a third finger sinks into you, making you cry out his name, "that's it, love, let me make you feel good."

"Yuta, please," you moan, as his fingers drag against your needy cunt, as he noses the nape of your neck, placing wet kisses along your neck, before his teeth graze your sensitive skin, sucking and licking marks that surely will dot your skin the next day, "ah—"

"Mine," he murmurs, and that makes your cunt twitch around his fingers — god you were so close, so close—and that's right when he's pulling his fingers out.

"Yut—" and he's licking your release from his fingers, before he's tugging you into a bruising kiss, sticking his tongue out to meet yours in a messy kiss, before he's pulling you on top of him, wet cunt pressed against his chest, "what are you--"

"Sit on my face," he says, his pupils nearly completely dark as he meets your gaze, "i want to show you what you've been missing -- how you deserve to be treated," and the blood rushes to your face, as your head shakes no, but he can feel your pussy say yes -- walls squeezing around nothing, "please,"

"Yuta, you don't have to—" but he's unwavering in his gaze, "what if I crush you?"

"It wouldn't be the worst way to go — you know I did have a secret execution scheduled before," and you smack him, but he only catches you by the wrist and kisses each finger, licking your fingertips, sending heat right to your cunt, "let me make you feel good — better than he ever has," and now you realize what it is — it's jealousy.

So you settle above his face, your cheeks burning as you feel his breath warm your aching pussy, "don't worry," and he's helping you ease yourself onto his lips, and right before his tongue drags slowly along the length of your sopping cunt, "you won't remember your name, much less his, after this."

a/n: i just realized i used a similar line in gojo's and yuta's, but y'know what, like teacher like student. what was this? who knows? will i do something like this again? maybe.

#sab [mlist]#satoru gojo x reader #geto suguru x reader #nanami kento x reader #choso kamo x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader #satoru gojo smut #suguru geto x reader #nanami kento smut #choso kamo smut #yuta okkotsu smut #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut

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yenqa · 2 months

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firsts

synopsis — sakusa and you have never had a conversation, and honestly you’re terrified of the man. but one conversation turns out to be many more of your firsts with sakusa.

warnings — reader is scared of men LMFAO, not really any

pairing — sakusa x implied fem!reader

wordcount — 710

a/n — happy birthday to himm! also my first hq post in a while OOPS also not proofread sorry!

You’ve never really talked to Sakusa.

You had been the manager of the volleyball team since your first year–and you had known him since then, but for some reason, you haven’t talked to him unless it’s volleyball related.

In fact–you don’t think you’ve ever had a conversation with him. But there's a first for everything, right?

Itachiyama has made it to nationals (not like it’s a surprise), and everyone has just arrived. The room continues to fill with people you don’t know, so you decide it’s best to stick with your team so you don’t get lost.

Well apparently that was a horrible idea to everyone else. Because you’ve lost everyone but Sakusa.

And you’re terrified. Surrounded in a room full of men you don’t know sounded like your worst nightmare, and you were living it currently.

Frantically scanning the room for anyone that’s not Sakusa, you somehow can’t spot any of the familiar bright yellow and green jackets your team is wearing.

Everyone knows that Sakusa doesn’t like to be bothered. But when you make eye contact with him, you change your expression to a way where he understands you’re pleading for help.

And he nods once.

Your mouth breaks out into a smile, and you shimmy your way to the crowd. Letting out a sigh of relief–you lean on the wall for support, muttering a small thank you to Sakusa.

You don’t expect him to say anything back, but you can hear his muffled voice say, “You okay?”

Tilting your head slightly up to make eye contact with him, you smile as you say, “Yeah–I’m fine. Are you nervous?”

You’re not sure why you ask the question, he probably doesn’t want to be bothered. I mean–you were still kind of shocked that he let you even be near him.

“Not really. Are you?”

You’re even more shocked when he continues the conversation. You’d expect he’d be the most rude person if he didn’t want to talk. “I-uhm I am a little bit. But we’re exempt from playing today right?”

Yeah–this definitely is the first and last conversation you’ll ever have with him.

He nods.

Then it’s silent.

Surprisingly, the silence isn't the most awkward thing you’ve experienced. It feels as if you’re just two people co-existing.

You watch as everyone excitedly hugs each other or glares at their next opponent. One person even tries to rile up the other, eliciting a small chuckle from you.

From the corner of your eye you can tell he’s curious, but he hasn’t said anything yet. This time, you take initiative to point at the players, also describing the jacket colors.

And you swear you can hear him laugh.

Not a full–hearty laugh obviously, but a small chuckle. A quiet one that you don’t even notice. But it’s definitely the first time you’ve heard him do anything resembling a laugh.

“You laughed.” You blurt out, before you even realize.

He furrows his brows, “I did.”

Your eyes widen, “Sorry–oh my gosh, it’s just the first time I’ve heard your laugh before, Sakusa-san. I swear I didn’t mean it like that–you just have a nice laugh–”

And now he’s actually laughing–like not even hard to hear.

He’s laughing, he’s hunched over, shaking and clutching his stomach. You don’t think you’ve ever felt more mortified in your life.

“It wasn’t that funny was it?” You ask, a frown on your face.

Sakusa catches his breath, “Funnier than any of the jokes Komori tries to make.”

“There wasn’t even a joke! And I happen to like the jokes he makes!”

“Only if you’re sick in the head.”

You scoff at his remark, “Wow, Sakusa-san, you’re very hard to please.”

“Kiyoomi.”

“Another complaint?” You tease, trying to play dumb at what he’s trying to imply.

“Call me Kiyoomi.”

You can feel heat rush to your cheeks, you tuck your hair back behind your ear and mutter, “Okay, Kiyoomi.”

And even though he’s wearing a white mask, you swear you can see his eyes crinkle and you can assume the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly.

You’ve had many firsts with Sakusa today. This is the first time you’ve seen him smile–just maybe next time he’ll do it while his face is fully shown.

yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

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snowsinterlude · 5 months

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melted snowflake.

(coriolanus x plinth!reader)

summary: coriolanus never thought he would fall into his own trap. his plan wasn't falling for you. no, it was the contrary, he was supposed to use you. but god, you were so perfect for him.

based on this ask!

c.w: snow being a bit of a jerk, manipulation, jealousy, plinth reader x coriolanus snow, snow being head over heels with you, fluff (?)

you were a district girl, of course. your parents made sure to take that out of your head, but you couldn't simply forget about everything you lived in the districts. you were a child, but it didn't mean you were dumb or blind not to caught up on the things surrounding you.

the first time you saw snow was when your father met panem's president and left you to play on the kindergarden with your brother, sejanus. of course, it didn't go as planned when you were pushed away by a random kid and he protected you and your brother.

of course, after that, he never talked to you guys. a snow is not supposed to talk nor look at poverty with kindness. that's what his grandma'am taught him.

with this being explained, neither him nor his grandma'am expected your family to get richer than the snows, but after his father's death it was only natural they would be poor.

"y/n?" he approached you, now at the academy. he was a beautiful young man, often obtained your attention because of how much praise he recoeved from teachers and others. even though you were rich now, of course you wouldn't fit in as well as he did. not when you and your brother disagreed with everything the capitol kids stood for. "i'm sorry to interrupt you, but the teacher assigned us to do our assignment together." it was a lie. you could tell right away.

but why not see where he'll go with this?

well, that's what you decided to do. every lie he told you made you want to slap him from how dumb he seemed to think you were.

everyday you would caught him staring at you, at your eyes. stealing glances, stealing everything he could from you. hearing your voice was turning out to be the best moments of his days. but you knew deep in your heart that he was taking you for stupid. you were a girl, smaller than him, more soft looking than him, and he thought it was adorable.

but snow, being a snow, had something other than that silly feelings in his body. plans that didn't go as planned when you slapped his face hard, the red print kf your hand on his white skin being visible.

"hey! what are you-?" you interrupted him.

"look, i allowed you to go as far as lie to me about everything, even what others had to say to me. but i will not allow you to say anything about feelings, snow. this isn't funny. this is sick, and twisted. to think you want to have whatever i want so much that you would go as far as say you love me makes me sick." you said, and he blinked his eyes quickly, dumbly looking at you.

"ah, c'mon. don't look at me like that. you really thought i would believe you when you said clemencia hated me? man, she doesn't even know my name!" you kept going, and he gasped a feel times, his hand touching the place you slapped. "stop coming after me."

and you were gone, just like that. everything snow had planned for you both had gone down the drain while you walked away from him.

and after that, he tried to talk to you. he truly did. but you were always so far away from him, and when you caught a glimpse of him walking your way, you would always exit whatever place you were entering.

"man, what you did to the plinth girl? she's running from you like the devil runs from a cross." festus said, watching you exit the library the moment he stood up from the desk they were in.

"i don't know," he said, but he knew what he did to you. he knew he was wrong. and god, the ache he felt on his chest when he saw you laughing at a joke some body made to you was unberable.

that's when he noticed it. that's when he noticed he liked you, more than he planned to. you were supposed to be his accessory, his pretty ornament on the shelf, used when needed to. but now? ah, you had him at your bare feet and you didn't even knew, and if you did, you didn't care.

it was his fault, of course. he didn’t need to tell you that clemencia hated your guts, or that festus was betting that he could fuck you till the end of the year when you said he was pretty, or anything before and after that.

and thinking of that, he had a white bouquet of roses on his hand, provided by his grandma'am when he said he needed to apologize to the prettiest girl he had ever seen. mentally rehearsing his apology and what he would say, he didn’t even notice when he was already at your door, nervously knocking.

you were rich. why was it you the one who answered the door? god, if you were his wife in a near future, you wouldn't even need to move your hands to eat a grape and-

slam!

you closed the door right when you saw the white bouquet on his hand and the ashamed face he had on.

"y/n!" he called you, knocking on the door and pressing the bell of your house multiple times. it was so loud, so irritating, that you opened the door again.

"god, what the hell do you want?!" you asked, angrily frowning at him.

"you," he said. "please, i'm sorry. i-i didn't took you for stupid- you're actually the smartest girl i've seen in the academy, and the prettiest too, and i'm so sorry for being a douchebag to you but i wasn't planning on-" he stopped talking, gulping down.

"planning on what? being a jerk? a liar? a manipulator? a-"

"on falling in love." he said.

"there he goes again." you said, rolling your eyes.

"y/n, i'm serious!"

"prove me." you said, crossing your arms. and he fell on his knees at your feet, placing the roses delicately on your ground. "i'm sorry. i think love is a weakness, i am not used to feeling it- nor any kind of affection towards others but- i can't stand the sight of you, the thought of you being with anyone that isn't me, please-"

ah, how cute. anyone who saw coriolanus at your feet right now would be surprised, his grandma'am would go nuts, saying that snow's are supposed to be on top and not on the bottom of some district girl's feet. but he didn’t mind. he needed to do it. if being on his knees was the only way to get back at you, fuck it. he would be.

"get up." you said, looking away. he obeyed you promptly, eyes looking at you with hope. "that's your last chance, coriolanus." he nodded, almost falling on his knees to kiss your feet.

well, within the span time of seven months, you both were dating. but it didn't change much, coriolanus was always, and i mean always ready to get on his knees for you. he was a sucker for you, even if he was all high and mighty with others, with you, he was a melted snowflake. and he was fine with it.

#coriolanus snow x reader #young coriolanus snow #young president snow #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #x reader #plinth reader

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lowkeyrobin · 4 months

Text

MCYT ; they have a very obvious crush on you

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, & quackity

warnings ; language

y/s/n = your ship name

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

constantly donates / talks through tts when you're streaming alone

TommyInnit donated $10!

"Tommy, stop giving me money, just use TTS"

only uses tts when you tell him to each and every time, it's routine

if he's streaming when you compliment him, chat always points out his red face to both of you

"shut up chat! I'm not blushing. you guys suck"

after a while he gets invested in the shipping

"if I open wattpad and don't see three new y/s/n fics I'm gonna lose my shit, guys"

"Tommy, Tommy, check ao3"

"I found one and it actually looks good!"

reading fanfics on stream (with permission of course and being light on the jokes and whatnot)

you and Tommy make your own fanfic too

he gets your friends to read it on their streams too 💀💀💀

literally every bit he writes is something he wants to do with you

such a hopeless romantic

RANBOO

always doing you favors

never saying no to you

"yes sir/maam!"

always donos on your streams while speed running or playing horror games to tell you good luck

it rlly isn't a stream wo one of their donos istg

chat always asking where he is during one of said streams

editors go CRAZY with the misfits vlogs & tom simons vlogs with you two in them

the chemistry???

you react to / watch each sorry boys episode on stream when they come out

editors go crazy with your compliments to ranboo

they do too 😭😭

giggling and kicking their feet cause they're so funny to you

he's literally head over heels bruh

gives u free merch and stuff

FREDDIE BADLINU

he's usually nice/full of compliments but he's so extra with you

claims it's for the bit

lets you dye his hair

ylyl streams with him constantly LMAO

he wrote your name on his bi flag for some reason??? when you ask about it he just says "why not?" and you shrug it off

always helping you pick out clothes and shit when thrifting/shopping

always has to find a pair of sunglasses for you I swear

constantly asks his viewers to edit you guys

it's become a part of your relationship where he clearly has a crush on you but you can't tell if it's for the bit or if he's serious so you never say anything

the tom simons vlogs w you guys go hard

especially the ylyl irl with ran, tommy, charlie, james, and billzo

same with the ylyl american version w jack, tommy, james, harry, etc

editors and fanfic writers have field days with those

just straight up making out as "friends" for the bit????

even Tommy is confused and he's been supporting Freddie through the dumb shit he's been doing

supports the fanfics

he honestly reads them

if you catch him doing so he says he's just interested and he might read it on stream for funnies

QUACKITY

"accidently" sends you free merch nearly every drop

qsmp streams are never complete without you guys flirting or going on a date

basically old karlnapity but you guys on the qsmp

qsmp y/s/n streams go so hard, they're literally the best

cellbit, roier, and jaiden officiating your fake wedding

qsmp y/s/n edits and fanart went crazy

youre like "guys no fanfics or edits of y/s/n, only if hes comfortable with it, I don't want you guys to weird him out"

and hes begging people to make the fanfics, the fanart, the everything

daily tweets of "guys send me more y/s/n fanart" or "any good y/s/n fanfic recommendations??"

cellbit always replies to those tweets with some long ass dictionary ass response to fuck with you two

fitmc of all people makes you guys a little tumblr oneshot.

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt preferences #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt x reader #quackity x reader #ranboo x reader #badlinu x reader #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit #qsmp #osmp

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twiixr4kidz · 6 months

Note

PRAYING YOU GIVE US SOME THE EVIL EXES X A DUMBASS S/O PLEASEEEE

Like they're so dumb it's not a joke- like imagine Roxy asking her s/o about the menu at a restaurant they're going to and they go "babe....I'm a lesbian." And it takes a full FIVE MINUTES for them to figure out what she meant

OMG YES i am a certified dumbass so this was very easy to write

matthew patel:

listen....... he gets it

he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed

it's like when you're around each other, your brain cells disappear

most discussions end in the two of you looking at each other, very confused, whatever conversation you were having being long forgotten

he doesn't mind re-explaining thinsg to you if you don't understand them

he thinks it's kinda cute honestly

lucas lee:

he is the himbo-est himbo to ever himbo

honestly most of ramona's exes are dumb but in different endearing ways

i can tell you for a fact that he'll tease you for one thing and then proceed to do it immediately after without even realizing

OR HE'LL TRY TO LIKE SHOW YOU WHAT YOU WERE DOING WRONG AND HOW TO FIX IT AND THEN HE MESSES IT UP HIMSELF LMFAO

"babe, that's not how you do a kickflip. THIS is." (he bails and breaks his board)

todd ingram:

todd is probably one of the most confused people you will ever meet

sometimes you say things that completely baffle him

im talking something so dumb his jaw is hanging wide open and he's rendered completely fucking speechless

and you're confused as to why HE'S confused because you thought you explained what you were saying really well

but you very much did not

there are so many conversations you have with him that are cut short because he doesn't know how to respond

"hon... look at me... what?" "huh?" "did you hear a word you just said?" "wait... what did i say?"

roxie richter:

she thinks it's cute!!!

most of the time

other times, she's genuinely concerned for your sanity

"so... whatcha wanna eat?" "babe, im a lesbian" "...what?" "what do you mean what?" "i know... you're a lesbian... i was asking about the food..." "OH"

you cannot hear apparently

she thinks it's funny whenever you do that thing where you hear her but you don't process what she said so you go "what" and then you cut her off when she tries to explain cuz you finally have an answer

she thinks it's HILARIOUS

kyle katayanagi:

he thinks it's hysterical

like you know this motherfucker is the ultimate tease

you don't know the answer to a question? you say something that sounds dumber than you intended it to?

you know damn well he's getting on your case about it

and honestly he loves it

he knows he's smart but he's fascinated by your sheer stupidity

he doesn't mind explaining things to you either

but you aren't getting out of an explanation without him calling you, and i mean this in the most affectionate way possible, a dumbass

ken katayanagi:

he's ALSO very fascinated with the fact that none of your millions of brain cells work

even when it comes to what he thinks is a simple concept, it takes a lot of explaining for you to understand

this is explaining that he doesn't mind doing

maybe his knowledge is just a little TOO advanced

he can never tell if he's the one whose too smart or if it's just your natural dumbness

it confuses him

he's enamored

literally say one dumbass thing around him and he's gonna have you pinned to a wall in the most intense makeout session of your life

gideon graves:

listen... gideon isn't as much of a douche as everyone makes him out to be

he thinks you being dumb is adorable

something about his weird thing for control and how he loves to explain things to you

he doesn't wanna control in a toxic way, let me just get that out there

he just loves how you never seem to know what's going on

god he loves it HE LOVES IT

#matthew patel #matthew patel x reader #lucas lee #lucas lee x reader #todd ingram #todd ingram x reader #roxie richter #roxie richter x reader #kyle katayanagi #kyle katayanagi x reader #ken katayanagi #ken katayanagi x reader #gideon graves #gideon graves x reader #scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #spvtw #scott pilgrim takes off #spto

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randoimago · 9 months

Note

Headcanons of Peter B. Parker, Miguel, The Spot, and Hobie have a crush on an oblivious reader?

Crushing on an Oblivious Reader

Fandom: Spiderverse

Character(s): Hobie, Peter B. Parker, Miguel, The Spot

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): God I love the idea of these specific people having a crush on an oblivious reader because I feel like it's just chaos no matter where you look. All of them are v dramatic for different reasons tho

Hobie

Oh he finds your oblivious to be very amusing. At first, he thought you were ignoring his advances to spite him for some reason (which he'd respect it). But then he just realizes that you don't get it.

Honestly, not too surprising you don't pick up on his advances. He doesn't do things the typical way. Flowers? Chocolates? Like hell he'd contribute to capitalism to flirt with you. He also doesn't really flirt with you with the standard "your eyes are pretty" "you look cute today" yeah no. It's definitely "hey, let's go to this protest and shout ACAB at any cops that walk by"

The most "romantic" (he doesn't believe in romance) thing he does is play his guitar for you. Even then it's lots of loud noises but he throws all of his emotions into it so that's something.

Miguel

Considering he doesn't even try to make it obvious that he likes you, it's no wonder you haven't realized. Hardly anyone knows that he's even "flirting" with you (making you 'employee of the month' isn't flirting, it does make Lego Spider-Man suspicious tho).

He's nicer to you than others, but that's something that even he is oblivious to and if Lyla or Peter mentions it then he denies as a defense mechanism. You deny it because you really don't see it.

The funny thing is, Lyla has gone behind his back to send you cute messages and stuff from his email but even those you don't get (and he doesn't know she does it) so now she's getting frustrated on his behalf.

Peter

He is gradually going insane with how you're not picking up on his advances. He's given you flowers, chocolates, he's said really dumb dad jokes to leave a smile on your face. But if anyone mentions your relationship it's always, "Yeah he's a good friend!" and he dies inside.

Has gone to Miles and Gwen for help. He can't believe he resorted to asking teenagers for help hitting on you and he can't believe he's trying to follow their ideas. (he mentioned looking up "how to flirt" and when the word "thicc" left his mouth, it caused an uproar)

Honestly wanted to get the sweatpants out and brood because maybe if he looks like a sad hobo then you'll give him attention. His doctor told him he'd die without your attention so please notice him before he goes bald.

Spot

Does not know how to flirt so your obliviousness is both understandable and killing him because he's trying. He's trying so hard and it's so pathetic. Especially because when he fails with his flirts, the self-consciousness kicks in and then he's just sad.

His words are stutters, he has tried to steal you flowers only for one of his spots to grab a cactus instead (which he ended up pricking himself with and now needs tweezers). Wanted to win you a teddy bear at a carnival cause that's cute, right? But he can't find a damn dimension with a carnival! (unless you count the spider society cause they're a whole circus)

Would probably just end up so dejected because he's tried so hard and has finally chalked it up to you not getting his advances because you don't want to. Why would you even like someone covered in spots like him? You trying to comfort him doesn't really help either. Maybe he'll sadly confess to you, maybe he'll die alone, who knows at this point.

#tw arachnophobia #arachnophobia tw #spiderverse x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #peter b parker x reader #hobie brown x reader #the spot x reader #jonathan ohnn x reader

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rogueddie · 1 year

Text

Steve doesn't really mind the jokes about his intelligence. Not anymore, anyway. He's gotten used to them. Even when they did get to him, he knew that they were just playing. Kid shit.

But he slowly starts to notice... El always watches for his reaction. Almost like she's waiting for something.

So, he starts to watch her too.

He's more subtle about it though. She turns her whole head and body towards him, pointedly staring.

But Steve leans, casual as always, tilting just enough to see her out the corner of his eye. He isn't able to get a great read on her like that, but he sees enough.

He slowly realizes that the insults that he's getting are upsetting her.

When Dustin dismisses his questions because they're stupid, her hand twitches just before she turns to him.

When Mike calls him an idiot, she flinches, almost jerking around to look at him. Her hands stay on the edge of her chair, gripping tight enough to whiten her knuckles.

When Max scoffs at his suggestion, talking louder, as though his ideas are too stupid to consider... Els hands shake. She moves slower whenever it's Max making the cutting remarks, as though they cut deeper.

It's when Hopper joins in, patronising when he ruffles Steve's hair and tells him that 'yeah kid, they know, he's the jock. He's the sports guy, not the brains'.

The noise El makes is too quiet for Steve to really hear. All he knows is that she sounds... wounded. Upset.

"Alright," Steve finally says. He slams his glass down on the table. "That's enough. You've had your fun. The dumb jokes stop here."

"Don't be such a baby," Mike scoffs. "They're just jokes."

"And they're not funny anymore, so cut it out."

"Steve, c'mon-" Dustin starts.

"No. Nope. Nuh-uh. I'm putting my foot down."

"It's not our fault you ask dumb questions!" Mike says.

"Hey, it might be," Max says, smirking slightly. "He's taken a lot of hits to the head for us."

El jumps to her feet, suddenly enough that it startles everyone into silence. She opens her mouth a few times, visibly struggling to speak.

She turns to Steve gesturing for him to follow her.

When the others get up at the same time, trying to follow as well, she finally finds her words.

"No!" She snaps. "You stay here. I am going to talk to Steve."

"What's wrong?" Mike asks, stepping closer, despite her glare. "El?"

"You are wrong."

She grabs Steve's wrist, leading him into her room. She sits on the bed, smiling a little when he sits next to her.

"You need me to be quiet for a minute?" He asks, voice hushed.

"Yes."

Steve nods, giving her a reassuring smile. He looks around her room while he waits for her to gather her thoughts, determined to wait as long as she needs and-

"Holy shit, is that a diorama of the solar system?!" He jumps up, excited, hunching over so he can look at it closer. "What the- El, this is amazing! Did you make this?"

"Oh, yeah. It is ok." Her smile is a little timid, hands shifting into her lap so she can pick at her nails.

Steve doesn't notice, looking back to the diorama. "This is amazing - I know, I already said that, but... Jesus, El."

"Thank you, Steve." Her voice is stiff, stilted- sad.

Right, Steve remembers, cringing at himself.

"Sorry, uh... I'll... I'll shut up now."

"No. It's nice. Will helped me a lot but he won't to let me tell anyone."

"I won't tell," he crosses his heart. "You doing ok?"

"No."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"They are mean to you."

"They are."

El narrows her eyes at him, frustrated. "They should not be mean to you."

"You're right."

She looks even more frustrated, but Steve thinks that this is his best little technique of getting people to talk. Especially about emotions. It works on Eddie like a charm.

"I do not like when they are mean to you."

"Why?"

"Because it is not nice!"

"You're right, it isn't."

"They are supposed to be your friends!" El jumps to her feet, voice raised so much that the others can undoubtedly hear her. "They are supposed to be my friends! I do not understand either! If you are an idiot, so am I!"

"So, you're upset because they think you're stupid?"

"No! I know they do not think I am stupid! They are being mean! They are being bullies!"

Steve nods, pausing for a long moment, waiting for her to calm down a little.

"You remember what Eddie told you about bullies?"

"They are sad with themselves so they have to make others miserable too so they can feel better." She glances at the door. "He also called them assholes."

"Do you think that's what they're doing?"

She considers that for a second, before shaking her head. "No. They... do not understand."

"They're not going to understand if we don't talk to them." He raises an eyebrow when she frowns. "You could stay here, let me do the talking?"

"No. I will talk to them. You are too nice."

"Alright," Steve snorts, gesturing to the door. "Let's give 'em he'll."

part two

#stranger things #steve harrington #eleven hopper #jane hopper #ficlet #genfic #in a steve/el mood and it wont go away

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riki-riks-chick · 1 month

Note

Can u please make enhypen hyung line, when their gf jokes about them having a small dick in front of other members? 👀

Heeseung:

You'd be hanging out and laughing with the boys, listening to them shit talk as they made comparisons such as who was better at video games or sports. Jay had countered the whole argument with the statement, "It doesn't matter because I have the biggest dick and that's more important." You'd all laughed at the randomness of his words, and you countered them with, "I bet my dick is bigger." At your words the boys grew louder in their laughter, and Heeseung decided to tease you. "Is it bigger than mine?.."

"It's not very hard to beat that." You joked, knowing full well that Heeseung's dick wasn't small, and he was fine until the boys started laughing extra hard. "It's okay, we'll see how small it is when I'm fucking you dumb later."

Jay:

You had been hanging out with the boys all day, deciding to end the day by going out for food and drinks. You guys eventually started playing truth or dare, and when it landed on you, you picked truth. Jake had asked if Jay's dick was big or not, and you decided to jokingly say no. "No, but it isn't always about size." You joked, clearly laughing, but Jay didn't find it funny. "You're really gonna say my dick is small like I wasn't pressing against your belly button last night?.." The table went quiet for a minute after that.

Jake:

You were out with Jake and Sunghoon, spending the day with them shopping and just having fun in general. You guys ended up in an adult store, wanting to take some silly pictures with random sex toys you'd never buy. Sunghoon had eventually picked up a big dildo, showing it to you. "Is Jake this big?.." He asked randomly as you laughed. "What? Of course not. Jake's super small." Jake had immediately laughed, knowing you were joking. "Baby.. Even if I was small, which we both know I'm not, I'd still dick you down better than that floppy piece of silicone."

Sunghoon:

You and Sunghoon had been hanging around the boys all day, it was hot so you grabbed a popsicle from the freezer. You were minding your business, sitting beside Sunghoon as you watched the movie playing on the TV, mindlessly sucking on the popsicle. Sunghoon had chuckled, rubbing your thigh. "Baby.. If you wanted to suck on something you could've just asked." He whispered as you laughed. "I think the popsicle is fine. It's bigger anyway." You teased as Sunghoon raised an eyebrow. Heeseung and Jay started laughing from across the couch, making Sunghoon even more annoyed. "Okay, if my dick is smaller than that popsicle, I guess it's not enough to satisfy you. Next time you're horny, go find a bigger dick to fuck you."

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen hyung line #enhypen hard headcanons #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #enha smut #enhypen heeseung #sunghoon enhypen #enhypen jay #enhypen jake

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hazelsmirrorball · 8 months

Text

Rockstar Girlfriend IV. | Hazel Callahan

Rockstar! Hazel Callahan x Popstar! Reader Summary: Hazel Callahan and Y/n L/n have to be in a pr relationship, but both of them can stand each other but recently things are starting to look up. Warnings: Enemies to lovers! Enemies to lovers! Enemies to lovers! Angst , slight jealous! Hazel. Sad! Fight (not physical) Not proof read. Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my main language. a/n: It’s friday so it’s time to be sad in bed! Here you guys go, thank you so so much for all the support. I love reading your comments, they really make my day. Thank you for reading

part one. part two. part three. part five

Hazel Callahan was never a jealous person, why would she be? There was no reason to be jealous. She had everything she could possibly think of, fame, money, talent and the list goes on and on. She could talk all day about all the things she had but aside from those material things Hazel knew she was attractive, she could have anyone fall at her feet in an instance. So she couldn’t understand the wave of jealousy hitting her body as she saw Y/n from afar flirting with someone. Hazel gripped tightly on the beer she was holding glaring daggers towards Y/n as she threw her head back laughing at some joke the person next to them.

“I bet it wasn't even that funny” She muttered to herself while taking a sip of her drink, her eyes never leaving Y/n ‘s way.

“Who isn’t that funny?” Josie asked, popping out of nowhere behind Hazel causing her to jump, almost spilling her drink. Hazel rested her hand on her chest trying to push away the fact that she had scared the living shit out of her. Josie turned towards her unconsciously blocking Hazel’s view of Y/n.

“What the fuck, Josie? You can’t jump out of nowhere. I could’ve spilled my drink on this lovely white couch. This is a million dollar couch. We can’t afford to ruin this couch” Hazel rambled reaching towards the couch pushing herself up so she could see the interactions Y/n was having with the unknown stranger better. Josie rolled her eyes, still not noticing Hazel's true intentions.

“Have you seen your net worth? You could fill a house just with those damn couches and still have money. But that’s not even the important thing. Today’s the perfect day to scare people.” Josie responded by pulling Hazel by the arm, making her sit next to her on the couch.

Josie was right, today was the perfect day to scare people. October 31st had rolled around really quick and this year people were more excited than ever. And people being excited by something made management want to hop on that train. That’s how Hazel and everyone else found themselves at a Halloween costume party in honor of B/n’s album launch. As much as Hazel wanted to deny it, she actually wanted to be at that dumb party. She had seen how important that album was for Y/n and her career. She had worked hard to get it out and the least Hazel could do was support her.

The past few months as a PR couple weren’t as bad as she thought it would be. Being forced to go around town to be spotted by paps and fans so turned into dates where they could talk countless hours about things that didn’t make sense. Movie nights, sleepovers, late night dinners, they outings started transitioning from public to the privacy of their house. Hazel had learned every inch of Y/n’s apartment and every incho of her heart. It was hard for Hazel to see the line of where their pr relationship ended and their relationship started. She had found herself wanting for her phone to light up wishing it was a text from Y/n or how everything reminded her about Y/n. She was falling and she was falling hard.

All she could think about was Y/n. Every ounce of inspiration started with Y/n. She made Hazel feel complete. Yes she had “everything” but nothing in the world could make her feel the way Y/n did. Hazel wanted her to feel happy and if she had to go to that party and dress up, she would do it in a heartbeat. So as soon as the theme of the party got revealed, Hazel found herself at the nearest halloween store.

Hazel was actually excited to go to the party and see Y/n, knowing that she was going to love her ghostface costume, but never in a million years she would’ve thought that she would see Y/n, her Y/n, snuggling up to some random person.

“Hello? Earth to Hazel. Are you here?” Josie exclaimed concerned, snapping her fingers in front of Hazel’s face. Hazel shook her head turning to face Josie finishing the last sip of her beer and placing it on the small table in front of them.

“Shouldn’t you be…I don’t know making out with your girlfriend or bothering PJ? Don’t we spend enough time with each other as it is?” Hazel snapped, taking Josie's drink and taking a sip. She waited a few seconds before turning her head once again on the pair a few feet away from them, noticing how they hovered against each other a few inches of locking lips.

“Rude much? I have you know, Isabel is currently talking with this agent about a modeling gig and PJ is desperately trying to get a girl which leaves me no option to spend time with you. So, what’s up your ass. You’ve been moody ever since we got here.” Josie said getting more comfortable on the couch in front of her. She followed Hazel's gaze, noticing what she was looking at. “Oh, you found out about them?” Josie asked Hazel, making her snap her head towards Josie quickly.

“Them? What do you mean about them?” Hazel responded quickly, not trying to hide her true emotions or intentions. She was going to find out who that person was and why she was wasting her time with them instead of spending time with her. Y/n didn’t even think of sending a hello towards Hazel’s way being too busy making googly eyes at the unknown person.

“That’s Y/n ex, they were together before the pr thing between you two started. I guess since it’s over they are rekindling their relationship.” She continued while resting her legs on the coffee table in front of her. Hazel furrowed her eyebrows trying to process the information she had heard.

“Wait. What do you mean now that it’s over?” Hazel asked, placing Josie's drink down completely facing her this time, her body almost on top of hers.

“Didn’t you receive the constant chained emails? They have been updating both of the bands about your guys publicity stunt. ” She replied, searching for her phone so Hazel could read the emails their manager had sent both of the teams.

“Who the hell even reads email anymore? I thought G sent the important updates via message. Why did no one tell me that they were sending things via email.” Hazel replied, taking Josie's phone scrolling down to read the messages in front of her.

Hazel felt her world spin as she read the words in front of her on the flashing screen. Her eyes quickly scanned the twenty emails and all the responses. Everytime she read one more word she could feel the high she had with Y/n slip away, it was all fake.

Without even thinking it twice Hazel felt herself move up from the couch heading towards Y/n not before handing the phone back to Josie. Her stomps were strong as she pushed past the crowd of people. When she finally got next to the pair she grabbed Y/n’s arm ignoring the disappearing smile on her face. Before her or her ex could say a word, Hazel pulled her outside. The cold breeze hit Hazel's face, but she could feel herself getting hotter by the minute, pissed off out of her mind.

“What the hell,Hazel? I was trying to have a conversation” Y/n exclaimed annoyed, pulling her arm away from Hazel’s touch. Hazel looked at her pissed off, something unfamiliar to Y/n. She was used to seeing cocky Hazel and as of recently sweet Haze; but angry Hazel was a new thing for her.

“When were you going to tell me about the emails?” Hazel said roughly, not breaking eye contact with Y/n. She could feel how just by her choice of words Y/n confidence turned down.

“The emails? What emails?” Y/n asked clearly about her throat while playing with the ends of her skirt. Hazel laughed sarcastically, taking her by the chin, making her look at her.

“What emails? Let me help you out and refresh your memory. The email where you claimed that going out with me was a way for you to get me to write the songs for your album. An easy way to get on top of the social ladder. I thought you said that you wanted to write things for yourself? To make a name for yourself in the industry, why the hell did you use all the songs I fucking wrote for my bands album. I showed them to you in confidence and you stole from me. What the actual fuck, L/n” Hazel exclaimed letting go of her chin not wanting to hurt her due to the fact that she wasn;’t in control of her anger.

“I didn’t know you were going to read the emails. It was just my team a…” Hazel looked at her shocked, feeling her heart break at the choice of Y/n’s words not believing that this was the same girl she had fallen desperately in love with.

“You didn’t know that I was going to find out about the fact that you were fucking me over and leading me on these past months for a stupid album. Are you hearing yourself right now”

“No, Hazel. You don’t understand! You’ve always had everything I just wanted to see what it was like. You knew from the beginning that it was a pr thing really, but now I..”

“Honestly, I actually thought you were actually a good person. I felt like shit being around you, I didn’t think I was worthy of being next to you. But now, I guess it was the other way around. I really hope that using me for that damn album was worth it. Because right now you gave me inspiration to write a new one” Hazel turned away as tears started forming on Y/n eyes. As Hazel walked away Y/n could feel her only inspiration slipping away.

Hazel was gone and out of her life, like she always wanted, but why didn’t it feel good. Why did she want to see her face and the constant reminder that she was there? Hazel Callahan had an effect on her that she couldn’t lose but now it was too late, she was slipping away.

...

[previous part]

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Thank you for reading

#hazel callahan x you #hazel callahan imagine #hazel x reader #hazel callahan #hazel callahan x reader #kit tanthalos x reader #kit tanthalos #save willow #willow #ruby cruz #ruby cruz x reader #bottoms movie #Hazel Callahan reader insert #reader insert

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bitchimasnake-sss · 7 months

Text

"i thought you got possessed-" ft. luffy!

ft. luffy x fem!reader

set-up: you're pms-ing and he is such a dumbass. but that doesn't mean he isn't out here being the bestest boy ever. (please excuse his dumbassery, he was dropped on his head as a child)

warnings: none! very wholesome lol

- please dont get confused, this man has no idea how periods work - like how is it humanly possible for you to bleed and then stay alive and kicking? seems made up tbh - one eventful evening (before you both started dating), you and nami had to sit him down and give him a long-ass biology lesson, explaining what the whole phenomenon is, what pms-ing is and yada-yada - before this, he firmly believed that every once a while a demon possessed you all (and he saw absolutely no issue with that, what a fucking icon) "ohhh" he's laughing, "so that's what it is? i thought you guys like got possessed" "excuse me?" nami's on the verge to hit him in the head again and you're wondering if the constant hits are the reason luffy's braincells are (half) dead "i see, i see. i get it now" - he lied, he still doesn't quite get it - but its fine - so, it is just another random tuesday and (post-dating) you know syou love luffy. but holy shit, if he yelled "YN DOLPHIN!! LOOK LOOK A DOLPHIN! SUGEEEEEE" and giggled again, you might yell at him. you really do love him but if he stole your food one more time, you're convinced you might smack him too. "luffy" your voice was unusually low, devoid of any warmth, "stop that." "whatt" he whined, grinning afterwards as he scooped up more food from your plate "luffy. i said STOP IT." your voice rose higher and silence hung uncomfortably over the dinner table - luffy just looks at you dumbfounded - the way you're fisting your hand on the table and looking at him has the crew afraid that youre gonna murder the captain in cold blood - well, i mean ur considering the possibility too, so, you mumble a half-ass apology and return back to your room to be alone - lying against the soft sheets, you can smell the citrus detergent and oh boy, now you feel guilty - i mean god, that's luffy, that was nothing out of the ordinary for him. why did you yell at him? fuck, are you a horrible girlfriend?? - oh boy, now the tears are welling up too - "yn?" luffy whispers as he slips into the room, closing the door behind him and now you're really crying - i mean look at him, why did you yell at him? - "im so sorry, i don't know why i yelled at you, that was so shitty of me-" "hey, it's okay" he's hugging you tight, "you did nothing wrong, i can be a little bit dumb sometimes. i should have not taken your food" "what? no, i am not mad about that. i, i dunno-" you sniff, "maybe i'm just pms-ing?" "huh??" - took a while for him to remember but now that you've jogged up his memory, he looks so guilty, so, he spends the entire evening apologizing and offering you food, he even promises that he wouldn't point out dolphins every time he sees them (you had to reassure him that he can continue doing that)

- but now onwards, this lovely himbo tries to keep in check what he's saying, often giving you a lingering look as if asking "this is fine right?"

- but now you've got your personal defender!! - ussop made a joke and you're not laughing (because it wasn't that funny tbh) and luffy is ready to smack ussop and tell him to "not annoy" you. zoro is being dumb and luffy can see it on your face that he's pissing you off lowkey, so, he will actually tell zoro to not be a dick - mf just starts picking up fights left and right for your sake and now you have to give him another long ass lesson to make it stop - ps: he does not stop. - this man turns into a chihuahua, anything bothering you must be struck down. - very, very observant from now on too. he needs to make sure you're feeling good - also asked sanji to make your favourite desert - he just loves you so much and wants you to be as comfortable as possible (still doesn't know how female anatomy works though-)

a/n: omg i luv him such a dumbass

zoro's link <3 sanji's link <3

#one piece #monster trio #one piece x reader #luffy x reader #monkey d luffy #zoro x reader #sanji x reader

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soulprompts · 9 months

Text

an unexpected arrival. (A PROMPT LIST!)

so a lovely anonymous angel asked for a list of prompts relating to an unexpected pregnancy, and i made a list! i have two other lists over on my other blog that i'm gonna reblog over here, but there may be some slight overlap with these; however, unlike the other two lists, these focus exclusively on the unexpected part. DON'T ADD TO THIS LIST, DON'T CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN! but do have a tonne of fun with them!

" so, remember last week, when i had the flu and i couldn't leave my house? turns out it wasn't the flu. i'm pregnant. "

" i'm telling you about this baby because you deserve to know. that's all. i don't expect anything from you. i don't need you to step up or whatever. i just thought you ought to know. "

" i'm sure you don't need to be reminded, but... getting pregnant wasn't exactly part of the whole life plan. "

" you're sure? i mean, you did the test properly? maybe it was a false positive. or, or maybe you didn't read the results right... "

" a baby... well. that certainly complicates things, doesn't it? "

" i don't even know if i want kids. "

" could you please just stop reminding me that this isn't part of the plan?! you think i don't know that?! we're having a baby, i'm terrified enough without you reminding me! "

" look. i'm/you're not the first person to get pregnant, and i/you won't be the last. we're gonna figure it out, alright? "

" my place isn't even close to being big enough for a baby... they need so much stuff. cribs, prams, diaper stations... and my neighbors complain enough as it is, they'll evict me if i have a screaming baby as well... "

" hey... why don't you move in with me? i've got plenty of space, and my walls are thick, so the baby could scream as loud as they want. you could stay as long as you like. "

" should... we get married? i mean, that's what you do, isn't it? when someone's having a baby? "

" okay, we're not getting married. i mean, i appreciate the gesture, but... there's plenty of single parents out there. what's one more, right? "

" god... we are so stupid. i mean, seriously! any idiot knows that condoms aren't 100% effective! if we're dumb enough to forget that, how are we meant to look after a baby?! "

" you... you're kidding, right? this is a joke? it's a fake pregnancy test, some weird, slightly out of touch belated april fool's prank? "

" it's honestly insane that we didn't figure it out sooner... i mean, those were some wild cravings, right? "

" when you say late... do you mean like, a few days? or are we talking... months? "

" no, no, this... it changes everything. EVERYTHING. i... i don't know if i'm ready for this, i don't think i'm parent material, i... "

" hey. you're not alone. you got that? it takes a village, right? i'm gonna help you every step of the way. we all will. this kid, if you choose to go through with it... they'd be okay. "

" you know i support you. whatever choice you end up making. i will always be by your side. okay? "

" if this is some weird idea of a joke, i have to tell you, it's not funny. i mean, you're having a baby AND i'm somehow the dad? a little much, no? "

" no, i want to step up. it took two of us to make this baby, and i want to make sure you know that, if you go ahead with this, there's gonna be two of us to raise them, too. "

" the father doesn't believe that the baby is his. "

" okay. so screw the father. i'm going to be here to help you. okay? we'll parent this kid so well, they'll never want to know who their real dad is. "

" so... you wanna tell me who the father is? "

" the surprise baby is actually not just one baby. we're having twins/triplets/etc. "

" hey, hey... don't worry, okay? it's alright. it's all going to be okay. condoms break, yeah? it's no biggie... "

" what do you mean, you think?! haven't you taken a pregnancy test yet? "

" that's a lot of pregnancy books you got there... got something you want to tell me? "

" have you told the father yet? "

" i guess, seeing how you rushed over here so fast to tell me the news, that you think the baby is mine? "

" look, we both made plans, right? and obviously shit happens, but... a baby is a pretty massive deal. "

" how many other people have you told about the pregnancy? "

" what do you want to do? "

#pregnancy cw #pregnancy tw #tokophobia cw #tokophobia tw #roleplay meme #rp meme #sentence starters #ask meme #writing prompts #roleplay prompts #rp prompt

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