#literally just like a horror movie. it was fucking fantastic
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i love the…. almost horror aspects of this album. all the references to ghosts and death…. and sonically, the unexpected shrieking in WAOLOM and the banging and screaming during “old habits die screaming” and even the way the tension subtly builds across the sixteen tracks and by the end you’re so stressed and shaken it’s like! losing your sense of self and feeling like you’ve become a monster is horror. and i’m sooooo glad she leaned into it
#the first time i listened to the album i was so SPOOKED by the end. and it was AWESOME#the first five songs i was like okay word heartbreak album! and then WAOLOM came on and i was like HOLY SHIT??????#and everything got INSANE from tbere#and just kept building and building!!!!!!!!#literally just like a horror movie. it was fucking fantastic#ttpd#random thoughts with grace
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Anytime a demon shows up in a movie, it's always "oh no! get a priest! get holy water! get some crosses!"
and never "hey guys what makes us think that the Catholic Church as an institution is prepared to fight evil? Particularly when it relies upon the existence of perceived evil in order to maintain its power??"
Or "Hey, why does every story about magic and the Catholic Church also tend to canonically validate Christianity as the one true religion??"
And Wendall & Wild is like, "don't worry, y'all. We got you covered."
--
Anyway, this is yet another reason I love the portrayal of the Church in this movie. This is the most thematically coherent animated American film I've seen in a thousand years.
#i mentioned this in the tags of my other post and was like fuck it that's its own post#wendall and wild#wendall & wild#father level bests#james hong#was fantastic as this character#original#i was just gonna say animated film and not animated American film but then i remembered i watched miyazaki like two days ago#so much thematic garbage being pumped out by disney and other mega corps#but mr. peele always fuckin comes thru on thematic cohesion#his art always has something awesome to say and says it so GOOD#horror movies have shit theming just dog shit. but not his. not his.#I'm just saying maybe in the exorcist 'the power of christ compells you' is uhhhhhh not actually compelling the demon at all#why else would they have to scream it literally like 50 times?? like y'all christ isn't compelling shit go get a rabbi or something#get some Buddhists and Taoists and give them a shot this demon CLEARLY has NO ISSUE with crosses#actually now that i think of it that may be the exact reason those priests have such a bad time in that film#picture an ancient Mesopotamian demon from like 1000 BC and these two dudes are like JESUS COMPELLS YOU#and u r just like who the fuck?#i mean oh noOooOoooooo no hiiiimmm!!!#[projectile vomits battery acid for fun]
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all of my yellowjacket headcannons (so far)
word count is like a trillion ok i’m not counting all this
lottie
she/her transfem! lesbian bottom (try to convince me otherwise)
-schizophrenic
-definitely has some type of ocd
-ptsd
started playing soccer when she was little
will actually go insane is you steal any of her clothes if you look at her she will actually be drooling with heart eyes
this girl is french and is HORRIBLE at it
plays piano
also knows violin because her parents made her take it doesn’t play is anymore though
lottie isn’t jealous but very protective of you
her favorite (modern!) singers are
-phoebe bridgers
-tv girl
-faye webster
-clairo
-#1 laufey fan on the world
unironically knows every katy perry song by heart because she used to be her favorite when she was little
her room is huge
likes putting her hair in pigtails
golden retriever girlfriend she’s so sweet to you and loves to spend time and money on you you guys always stay at her house would literally kiss the ground you walk on if you asked her too:((
also the worst cooker you ever met like how did you fuck up toast why is the smoke alarm going off??
favorite color is blue
lottie definitely has a hairstylist she goes too every month to get permed and there really close i can see her telling them about ALL the school drama
lottie wants write story’s when she’s older maybe romance or mystery idk but i can just imagine her having a typewriter and writing you story’s she has wanted to do it since she was a kid and is very passionate about it:((
what i think her favorite shows are:desperate housewives,american horror story,sailer moon
time burton enthusiast
so scared of horror movie like she will start crying
her favorite characters are:
-emily (corpse bride)
-bree (desperate housewives)
-starfire (teen titans)
always goes on and on about how she’s bubblegum and your marceline she LOVES adventure time
her favorite movie is bridge to terabithia
lotties favorite animal is a bunny and she really wants a pet bunny
BEGS you to give her your bra and your confused but you give it too her and she makes a bracelet out of it and wears it practically every day proudly
also think that lottie is a great artist? like sketching and painting wise
nat
SAY IT WITH ME transmasc! (he/they) definitely bi and a bottom why? because i say so
-depressed
-dyslexic
-ptsd
started playing soccer in middle school
LOVES christmas like has an unhealthy obsession with it
northern italian knows the launage pretty well also a great cook
wants to play electric guitar
his favorite (modern!) singers are
-tyler the creator
-radiohead
-alex g
-motley crue
-is so obsessed with mistki don’t even get me started
randomly painted his room black one day when he was bored
usually prefers his hair down
you give him haircuts he doesn’t trust anyone else someone definitely fucked up his hair once and he never went back
he’s stubborn black cat energy but he can be soft sometimes he hates being vulnerable around you
his favorite color is black or gray
just wants to be famous tbh but he wants to be in a band
what i think his favorite shows are:rick and morty,bojack horseman,shameless
LOVES horror movies and reality tv like 90 day fiancé and the kardashions
also likes claymation
his favorite characters are
-ash (fantastic mr fox)
-sidney (i am not ok with this)
-coraline (coraline)
his favorite movie is little miss sunshine
nat’s favorite animal is a panther he saw one in the jungle book when he was little and just thought it looked cool
always headcannoing characters as trans like finn from adventure time or jeff from clarence he’s so cute:((
nat skateboards too definitely not great at it but does it when he’s bored
jackie
(she/her) is just a bratty pillow princess lesbian you can’t fool me
-adhd asf
-neurodivergent for sure
-ptsd
started playing soccer because she was bored eighth grade tbh i don’t think she likes it as much as the others but she thinks it’s fun
always takes your hoodies fact
this girl is a vegetarian for sure
jackie is greek which is shocking to everyone
jackie is jealous always period
hey gays ass button ups bro
her favorite (modern!) singers are
-ariana grande her fav
-rihanna
-billie eilish
-harry styles
-lana del ray
pretty mainstream music taste
all pink room it’s very like coquette?
ponytail girl but also enjoys her hair down
is obsessed with you like unhealthy obsession always needs to be around you
favorite color is light pink duh
jackie gets perms so she really doesn’t care who does her hair
wants to be a makeup guiro or just stay at home honestly she hates working
what i think her favorite shows are:euphoria, grays anatomy,glee
i think she likes very drama files shows and will rant about tv show characters and there dynamics and why she think that there like that and etc for HOURS
ughhh jackie is such a girls girl like she is the friend who always has your back and has gum or a tampon for you she is the friend who would check you on your period
her favorite characters are:
-maddy (euphoria)
-regina (mean girls)
-amy (gone girl)
her favorite movie is DEFINITELY jennifer’s body
jackie is a cat lover and has 2 i can see her with a orange and a gray cat and they always fight
shauna
DEFINITELY bi (she/her) and i could see her as a switch?
-bipolar
-ptsd
joined soccer with jackie eighth grade
has like thousands of boxers
russian
knows how to play saxophone (she doesn’t even know how she learned she just did) she doesn’t own one though
so jealous but never says anything (this girl cannot communicate to save her life)
her favorite (modern!) singers are
-the cranberries
was so mad when they got popular on tiktok and had to let everyone know they where her fav since day 1 (everyone knew)
-suki waterhouse
-cigarettes after sex
-never got over halsey since 2017
-lady gaga
she honestly doesn’t care how her room looks but it’s never clean
doesn’t do anything with her hair really
writes you notes about how she appreciates you or how much she loves you cause it’s hard for her to tell you how she feels but she loves you so much:((
green is her favorite color
shauna’s hair may seem simple but she’s VERY picky about how it’s cut and is always worried there gonna cut it bad so she gets it cut like twice a year(she always ends up hating it)
she wants to be some sort of doctorate she’s fascinated by the human body so i can see her wanting to be a surgeon
what i think her favorite shows are:good girls, queens gambit,13 reasons why
her favorite characters are:
-velma (chicago)
-cassie (euphoria)
-susanna (girl interrupted)
her favorite movie is chicago (loves musicals)
a simple gal she really likes dogs
taissa
she/her lesbian switch
-ptsd
joined soccer in fifth grade
mixed (duh)
used to be in the marching band
her favorite (modern!) singers are
-bruno mars
(screams when i was your man and grenade in her car way too much)
-frank ocean
-post malone
(also screams his songs in the car)
-has a soft spot for shawn mendas has all of his albums
-really enjoys 60’s music so she really likes elvis
her room is pretty big too not huge on decorating
doesn’t care about hair like at all will wear a headband sometimes
a good girlfriend like if your cold she will give you her jacket type she has a temper never jealous either girlfriend material she’s the type you would want your kid to date y’know?
respectful to adults gets good grades and stuff
her favorite color is brown and everyone is like that’s weird and she is trying to convince them like “no guys it’s pretty hear me ou-“
cuts her own hair thinks it’s overpriced and dumb to have someone professionally do it
tai wants to be something important like president or some shit i can see her being a lawyer
what i think her favorite shows are:the umbrella academy,big mouth,skins
tai only watches skins and euphoria type shows because she loves the drama
her favorite characters:
-hermoine (harry potter)
-patrick (perks of being a wallflower)
-nadine (edge of seventeen)
her favorite movie is the 6th harry potter movie she also thinks it’s the most underrated
she likes tigers
van
she/her and lesbian switch
-anxiety
-ptsd
joined soccer in sixth grade
irish
plays the trumpet but is kinda embarrassed by it
her favorite (modern!) singers are
-nicki manaj
-fiona apple
-tori amos
-girl in red duh
-david bowie
-was ziggy stardust for halloween when she was 8
posters EVERYWHERE can’t convince me her room is not painted red
doesn’t care about hair either puts in a ponytail to keep it out of her face
is a great girlfriend all the same traits as taissa except not the best at school she’s honestly surprised she graduated
favorite color is red
her uncle cuts her hair for like five bucks out of his garage also i definitely think she used to have a bowl cut when she was little
doesn’t really care about money she just wants to be happy wants to own a record store or be a professional soccer player
speaking of records she definitely has a lot of collections like lowkey a hoarder…but her stuff is cool though! like funky pops hat wheels cd’s records etc
what i think her favorite shows are:beavis and butthead, avatar, south park
mostly likes adult animation
her favorite characters are:
-harley (suicide squad)
-ron (harry potter)
-beast boy (teen titans)
her favorite movie is the bee movie or lego batman there cinematic masterpieces
van likes pigeons for not particular reason she just thinks there funny looking
i can see van as a surfer too like her dad definitely is one also i can imagine her being really close with her dad and they have a local family business bakery:((
misty
she/her and idk her position or sexually like i genuinely have no idea
-autistic
-ptsd
always wanted to be on the team but knew she was bad at sports
german definitely
her favorite (modern!) singers are
-boy genius
-the beatles
-justin bieber
-pink
-melanie martenz is her favorite forever
light purple room has justin bieber posters everywhere
lowkey forgets she has hair whenever people comment on it she’s like “oh yeah!”
very obsessive of you and loves you almost too much sometimes you think it’s creepy but than your like “awww she’s so cute”
loves the color yellow
i can see her being a k-pop stan too
(her bias in bts is j-hope)
also is a famous editer on tiktok and no one knows😭her username is like “gxxbflix” or some shit
literally has had one haircut in her life like it never grows?
i see her as a pharmacist
what i think her favorite shows are:walking dead,mlp,monster high
i just think she really enjoys getting into all types of fandoms
has SO many online friends
definitely loves romance anime
plays clarinet
is in band
favorite characters:
-cruella (cruella)
-alice (alice in wonderland)
-edward (edward sciccor hands)
and mistys favorite movie is alice through the looking glass (because it shows the queen of hearts back story and misty loves her)
and misty likes birds duh
those are my headcannons for them i know it’s a lot but i’m obsessed ok send requests if you have any please
-🙈
#yellowjackets x reader#yellowjackets#lottie matthews#natalie scatorccio#jackie taylor#shauna shipman#taissa turner#van palmer#misty quigley#lottie matthews x reader#natalie scatorccio x reader#jackie taylor x reader#shauna shipman x reader#wlw
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I feel, deep in my bones, that one could summon fae!Felix by repeating that bit he does in Topline thrice over in a mirror:
BOM DIGI DIGI BOM BOM BOM BOM
and maybe it works faster if you try to 'go deep' with it...
or maybe this is just stuck in my head in an audio stim kind of way and I live in the land of delulu
A Guide to Summoning Your Faelix: AKA Faerie Felix / the most sweetest thing in the world.
FAE FELIX?
Ok!
SO let's do this!
First, we'll need to set the mood. Obviously, we're gonna need blue. It is his favorite color. Even though poor baby was recently heartbroken because the color analyst told him that blue doesn't work for him. Even though OBVIOUSLY that is incorrect! He is gorgeous in blue. Precious baby. How dare they? Unacceptable.
So, I just feel like it's absolutely NECESSARY that we include blue for the baby chick. Fuck them color swatches.
NEXT! Brownies as an offering. Non negotiable. Here is his recipe. Enjoy. They are fantastic.
Third.... we must call on the spirit of Bang Chan for he can always find his Lixie. Plus, he's our resident source of Lixie information. If he doesn't know, he'll figure it out for us. Bang Chan for President.
Now, it's time to get down to business. This is very serious. Set the lights. Turn on the music. Look in the mirror and say it.
Put all the bass you got in your voice and ..... POOF!
Congratulations! You have completed your very first summoning.
Now, let's discuss care for your Fae Felix.
First and foremost, he is going to require lots of love and affection. If you do not feel as if you can provide adequate love and affection for your Faelix then please reconsider.
If your Faelix does not receive adequate time, care and affection then he will cry. And subsequently, I will come to beat your ass.
BECAUSE HOW DARE YOU! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! DON"T YOU DARE MAKE THIS BABY SUNSHINE CHICKEN CRY! THIS MEANS WAR!
And! I'm telling Minho! And he'll help me whoop ass. So be prepared and think about that when moving forward with your Faelix.
Minho is watching...
Always watching.
Perhaps, a Hyunjinnie would be more suitable for you or perhaps a Minho. They still require love and affection but they do understand that everyone needs alone time.
Though, if you do choose to summon Minho... god help you.
If you have an aversion to copious amounts of physical displays of love and affection, PLEASE AND I AM BEGGING YOU... do NOT summon yourself a Changbinnie. He WILL be giving you his love and you WILL like it.
Fair warning.
But back to Faelix.
Now, please remember that your Faelix can handle some spice but not exceedingly so.
Be mindful of his dietary needs.
If not he'll scream.
On that note, you are going to need to stock up on rice cakes. Trust me. And probably fried chicken. Just do it.
It is also important to note that your Faelix is also sensitive to scary things so he's not likely to be a horror movie buddy for you. If you really, really, REALLY want him to... he'll do it to make you happy. However, he will basically turn your room into a nest at night and cover you with cuddles all night long... because he's scared to death. Poor Lixie. You will have a much better experience if you pick a comedy or action. He'll still cuddle you (if you want it) but it won't be out of fear. And nobody wants a scared Lix. He deserves to be happy.
Also, on this note of Fae Felix. Just so you know, you're not supposed to give fairies your name. No matter how much they beg.
However, Felix is literally the one that you could tell anything and he wouldn't use it against you. You're secret is safe with him. As is your soul.
Now, in summary : It's all important but here are your TOP 3 to remember!
Number One: Please provide adequate love, affection and care for your Faelix.
Number Two: Please mind his dietary needs and plan accordingly. Give him whatever he wants. Or else he is going to become insane.
Number Three: The Final and Most Important Rule of All
Remember that Minho is watching... always watching.
He sees all.
He knows all.
I know, You know, We know, Lee Know
Thank you for coming to my presentation and have a nice day.
Please help yourself to a treat on your way out. We're serving brownies. Obviously.
..............
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this crazy tangent of mine and thank you so much for sending it in!
Love, K
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#lee felix#felix lee#stray kids#skz#felix imagine#felix lee imagine#kpop#lee felix x reader#felix lee x reader#kpop x reader#fae felix#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#fairy felix#fae skz#fae stray kids#fae lee felix#fae felix lee
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have you guys seen the newest episode of greylock. like the analog horror series on youtube. i almost puked. literally traumatizing. 10000/10 its fucking fantastic LMFAOOOO.
im so glad this is the direction analog horror is taking bc greylock, vita carnis, the oldest view and liminal land to name just a few have impacted me in various ways they're SO effective. as much as i love horror movies, internet based horror has always scared me way more lmaoooooo
#teeth talks#hi sorry im yapping here bc i dont wanna annoy my friends hru#vita carnis got me so bad i hallucinated a mimic outside my house in the dark for 2 weeks straight#i hope makeship makes a plushie of him so i can have him in my house with me. if im cold hes cold let him inside
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the scorch trials’s cold open is fantastic. it’s first few scenes are just as good.
you immediately are back seconds from where you left off from the maze runner, the graders are traumatized, grieving, confused, and starving, and are thrown into this military grade operation acting like it wants to help them, and wckd plays along perfectly. if you didn’t read the books, and you didn’t know who mr. janson is, this could have very well fooled you into thinking this was safe.
and speaking of mr. janson, he’s perfect. we know that this demeanor is NOT who janson actually is: the real janson is sadistic, uncontrollable, and obsessive, while he plays up the nice guy image in front of the people he’s actively fucking with. imagine how fucking self satisfied janson is in this moment, playing up the savior when he’s literally locking their jail cell. you can see it through aiden gillens’s insane performance—he had no reason to go that hard.
it makes the horror of the realization h it that much harder, when janson drops the act and indiscriminately shoots at children. i love this movie
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hi i hate rick riordan and the obsession with movie/tv adaptations of other media. please use this ask as a chance to rant about everything you hate most in the pjo show. <3
omg hiiiii an anon after my own heart!!!! ok this is a very wide question and i do unfortunately have assignmence to do so i'll try and make it quick: my entire problem with the show is the total lack of character. the dialogue is completely expository with little to no room for relationship building or opportunities for the actors to, like, act. i fully believe that leah sava jefferies could have pulled off a really good annabeth if they didn't have her literally doing a powerpoint presentation on the plot of the episode every two minutes. walker is an incredible talent and a fantastic percy, and it would have been really nice to see him have a chance to be his character. oh also this is the tiniest nitpick but why the fuck is the score so boring??? you're going to tell me that the PERCY JACKSON show has a generic fantasy bullshit phone-it-in score??? the song for the end credits is the closest we get to any sort of theme and it's boring as hell!!!!
the exposition killed this fucking show, dude. i cannot believe that those scripts made it past a thought in rick riordans yucky little head bc that was abominable. no stakes no tension no fear no anxiety no dread like everybody's all on the same page at the same time percy is never out of his depth. never. medusa was practically wearing a name tag and the crusty thing made me actively suicidal. i do think that the worst episode was by far the lotus casino though because that was goddddddawful. first of all why were we there in the first place? to talk to hermes? to lin manuel miranda? this is what i'm fucking talking about the kids are always on top of everything!!!!! in the book they get roped in on accident and we get to learn about the characters' inner motivations (think of annabeth and her architecture game, etc.) but in the show we're in and out and spend 5 minutes driving a car around in a parking garage because we needed to pad out the runtime because our show sucks shit and we should all kill ourselves.
speaking of the hermes thing why was every single god there. like you've undercut the power of all the gods by having one show up every episode and a half to be boring and do nothing. the visual design is terrible the underworld and olympus are virtually indistinguishable and the pit to tartarus is in the open sunny sky for some godforsaken reason???? oh also having annabeth at the luke confrontation and turning it into a swordfight (like the only swordfight of the season, btw) robs the original scene of all of the horror and tragedy that makes it so good. percy is TWELVE and luke the ALMOST ADULT MAN tricks him with a SCORPION and then percy has to STUMBLE through the woods DELIRIOUS and DYING <- good and fucked up. LUKE and PERCY the PEERS OF INDISTINGUISHABLE AGE have a bad SWORDFIGHT and ANNABETH catches him with FACTS and LOGIC <- sucks shit. but what do i know i'm just a dyke on the internet. ok love you bye.
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Nobody asked, but other scenarios of “evil-ish supernatural creature/human they weren’t even aware of”:
• (Already mentioned but I like having everything in a list) Creature who has everyone trapped in a time loop to mess with a specific person/group and the whole time there’s a Human completely separate to all this who’s been aware of the time loop the entire time and has a pretty good idea of who’s causing it
• Body snatching/body hopper creature who’s doing a fantastic job of blending in except for the one Human completely on to them, and they don’t notice for a ridiculous amount of time that there’s somebody on to what they’re doing
• Creepy ass hotel in the middle of goddamn nowhere with weird as hell rules, and if you don’t follow those rules, you get snatched up by the hotel manager and you’re never seen again, the hotel manager is aware of the Human who suspects something is going on, hasn’t noticed the Human who knows exactly what’s going on cause they accidentally saw the manager in their true form
• Unsettling town that’s very hostile to newcomers run by a creature, accidentally welcomes a newcomer cause no one notices the Human when they move in, so they never get driven out
I just like this set up because: I was a quiet kid who got overlooked and forgotten a lot, so I always wondered what would happen to me in a horror movie, I like the thought of someone being a background character for awhile, suddenly being pushed to the forefront because at some point, the creature is going to notice them, and I like horror romances
Only problem for me is that it’s hard to get to the full on romance point, the horror without it crossing a line is actually easy, you’re a character in a horror scenario with a terrifying creature, worried about your life, up until you realize literally no one’s paying any attention to you, including the creature, so you keep moving through the horrifying scenario, still pretty scared in some cases, but there’s no actual threat to your life most of the time
So I can imagine from the Human’s pov, going from scared to a crush that makes them feel fucked up (but hey, this situation is kinda fucked up)(also sometimes being “threatened”* is kind of sexy), but I can never think of how to get the creature on board with the romance
(*I’m thinking of the hotel situation when the manager finds a Human who looks like they’re about to break a rule and gives them a “warning” that can easily be taken as a threat)
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15 questions
Tagged bby @barbieliberationarmy thank you!
Were you named after anyone? Molly Ringwald's character in Pretty in Pink 😕
Do you have kids? Fuck no 🤨 never wanted any and still don't, but have nannied for two babies/toddlers and after awhile they can start to feel like your quasi kids. You love them and it's hard to hand them back to parents who don't really... feel the need to put as much effort into parenting as you do into taking care of them when they're with you. If that makes sense.
When was the last time you cried? Yesterday
What sports have you played/do you play? Basketball through elementary and middle school but dropped off in high school. And a bit of volleyball but whew that was an epic fail. Does golf count? Darts? Pool? Flip cup? Beer pong? No? Ok
Do you use sarcasm? huh what idk
First thing you notice about people? I don't really think about it tbh. Correction, Sam says I'm always saying whether or not someone has kind eyes 🥴
Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, but also if the horror has a fantastic plot twist then 🤌🏻
What are your hobbies? Reading, writing, video games, I like music gameshows don't judge me, haven't drawn in forever but in theory that's still a hobby just one I've set aside. Sleeping. Really good at that one. Cooking.
What is your eye colour? Green/hazel
Any talents? I make a mean potato salad? (No fuckin raisins 😒)
Where were you born? Illinois
Do you have any pets? No, haven't had any since my pug died several years back
How tall are you? 5'5
Favorite subject in school? Other than art... probably history. Or choir/band
Dream Job? Art history professor (shocking, I know) or perhaps a curator. Art restoration. Something within that general arena.
Idk who to tag cuz idk who's done it. Everyone? @syngularitysyn @anonymous-red-506 @100hearteyes @commanderlexaofthegrounders @sassymajesty @heda-in-the-clouds @gabywithoutthedollhouse @bisexualseraphim and literally anyone else just tag me back
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🔥 Tim Burton (him as a person or his aesthetic, your choice!)
"Beetlejuice" (1988) reminds me a lot of another film I watched recently; "Tombstone" (1993). Sold by an aesthetic and a FANTASTIC performance from a side character, audiences were conned into loving a mediocre film. I'm not Lindsey Ellis, so don't expect me to talk about the cartoon.
"Batman" (1989) and its sequel is proof that Burton will not be giving up his aesthetic for God or money. Gotham is heavily disconnected from both the film and its source material, with little reason other than its director. There's a reason no one calls these "Keaton's Batmans," they call them "Burton's Batmans." Jack Nicholson is great as The Joker, but that's no hot take. The hot take is that Devito is too horny as The Penguin, and it makes me uncomfortable for a film that's already so sexual.
"Edward Scissorhands" (1990) is a bitter, bitter film where artist finally meets muse. Not, like, in the plot, but in the production. Depp and Burton were made for eachother... or at least that's what I'm supposed to think. This movie's just too messy, however, and can't decide where its focal point lies and leaves me wishing I had just watched "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (2000) instead.
"Sleepy Hollow" (1999) leaves me, a fan of the original text, I know that's probably a weird thing to say, miffed, even if understanding. Outside of some pacing issues, it's a bold reimagining that feels like Burton attempting to get out of his comfort zone... but I just didn't need this story to be turned into an homage to B-horror. Go watch that Disney short, eh?
"Big Fish" (2003) is his best film. I am hardly qualified to speak on it, and even if I did, I would cry. So, you know, just go watch that shit.
"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (2005) is destined to be compared to "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" (1971), and why wouldn't it? In thirty-four years since the making of the original, not a single person worth listening to said "i need this done right," including Burton himself, which is why he tries to add so much, but no amount of additions changes the fact that he casted his muse instead of someone who could, you know, act like Wonka? So, you know, destined for failure and to be loved by everyone who won't watch movies made before 1987.
"Corpse Bride" (2005) is one of only two claymation films that Burton would actually direct, and he uses this time to steal a Jewish story and make it less Jewish. I don't like the ending or the songs and it feels like it could be cut in half and achieve the same effect.
"Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (2007) literally doesn't have the iconic opening number from the stage play??? Overall, there's rarely a pairing of source material and director that works as well as this one... If only I enjoyed the source material, eh? So dark, so bitter, so edgy, so... nothing. I never think about this movie. When I do, I think of Mrs. Lovett's dream sequence and remember the good old days of "Big Fish" (2003) when Burton liked to use color.
"Alice in Wonderland" (2010) is one of my guiltiest pleasures in all of film. It is the reason why every time Disney announces a live-action remake, my ears perk up. If all of them were as wild, unhinged, original, creative, and inspired as this one... Well, I think Disney might not be fucking bleeding money right now. No one ever even mentions that it's a sequel to the original animated film. A SEQUEL, not a remake. Sometime movie-goers surprise me with how little they think.
"Frankenweenie" (2012) blows. I don't care how unique it is, I do not like it.
"Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children" (2016) is one of the funniest remnants of the teen dystopia genre. Like, it hardly applies, but is trying SO HARD that it's unbelievable. Also, props to Mr. "Black People Aren't My Aesthetic" for casting Samuel L. Jackson as a dude who eats white babies. (I do not mean that.) Seriously, this is proof that Burton, as a modern director, should no longer be taken seriously.
"Dumbo" (2019) is AAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHA I FUCKING HATE THIS DUDE HOLY SHIT
If I didn't mention, I haven't seen it. Yes, I know I skipped some big ones. I may watch them one day, but I am in no rush.
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So in addition to my OTHER post (where I said I hope they don't hide Joseph's brown eyes with blue contact lenses for Fantastic Four...), I now also have some... additional...thoughts?!?
The thing is...taking just about the entirety of the MCU into consideration... there's basically NO way they're not going to have Joseph bulk up or gain muscle for the role. And that...makes me sad. ☹️
Because frankly, one of the main reasons I love Joseph so much, is the fact that, YES, he's BEAUTIFUL...but in a very understated way? Like, he absolutely looks like the kind of dude you could just bump into at like, the grocery store, and just be bowled over by his lovely eyes and magical smile. He's not this totally unattainable, super hot, buff, gym-nuts looking guy with muscles and a fit body that just makes you want to go crawl into a hole. In other words, y'know...make you feel inadequate and ugly and wholly fucking gross?! Because I don't know about you guys, but the super attractive, hot bodied guys ALWAYS DO make ME feel that way? 🤷🏼♀️
It's just that...he looks NORMAL, y'know? Literally like the boy next door. And, well, thanks to Fucking Disney (YES, I will ALWAYS refer to them that way, because I HATE them with a passion, OKAY?!), he won't, anymore, pretty soon. And, again... that's SAD! I mean, again, I am SO happy that he's getting big roles, but...like I've also said, he actually deserves BETTER than Marvel, y'know? I'm talking big acting roles. I'm way more excited for A Quiet Place: Day One, and the other horror movie he's set to be in.
But...alas, yeah... it's going to be a bummer when he's not going to look like boy next door Joseph anymore, come next year... 😢
#joseph quinn#the fantastic four#marvel#mcu#fandom#i has a sad#anths-girl posts#thoughts#fucking disney
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ok i was going to read 1.3 and then say things about 1.2 but i'm sleepytired again so i will read 1.3 tomorrow. world's slowest bookread ever this thing is far shorter than worm and yet i will manage to make it take forever via power of being distracted easily
first of all: i have once again lost the fucking plot. lost in the sauce of bad things happening. i respond to horror like a baby watching keys dangle. so long as bad things are happening to blake i am going to be watching and clapping instead of thinking carefully. that's a lie i am absolutely still thinking carefully but i am primarily more invested in the bad things happening
ok no seriously though. ahem. as for thoughts on the universe thus far: no groundbreaking updates in that department. we're obviously getting more on rose but i do not have solid thoughts on her or the mirror world presently. watching and looking and contemplating but we'll get there when we get there.
i presume blake is correct abt the horrors being given specific instructions vs acting entirely autonomously--presumably others sent after him by whichever random enemy no 234325 he inherited. i'm aware "people can make pacts with magic guys to go do things" is an absolute nothing-statement when it comes to a universe called pact that runs on fairy-logic and we've already seen an example of it previously but my point is that i presume there are other specific ppl and/or entities w/ more character responsible for directing the attacks, and we'll meet them sooner or later.
exceedingly endeared to the atmosphere in this. as always wildbow will write one million redundant poorly phrased little sentences and then somehow it results in a genuinely compelling atmosphere. love the visual of blake driving the car around The Horrors & then it breaking down in the snowy darkness. the lights slowly going out et cetera.
also particularly endeared to him hauling down on the car mirror, getting the tire iron, going on a little monologue to himself about conserving heat, and then immediately having his Horror Movie Protagonist Preparations do nothing and go to shit and then he panics and runs into the woods and trips and almost dies. and he also starts crying near-immediately. and then going "that's fine. that's because of the wind. crying because of the wind. i'm fine" to himself while hysterically screeching at The Horrors he just very unsuccessfully attempted to beat back with a tire iron. he's not doing bad but he's not doing good either. literally just an extremely normal average guy who throws his back out running. it's fantastic. like whatever fantastical circumstances happen to him he still has the heart and soul of a Normal Guy who should be sipping his 7 dollar latte while he walks to art college instead of crying while trying to beat the shit out of fairies. and that's so funny. blake crying throwing up vibrating back and forth saying every swear word he knows in alphabetical order because he has to sew his own hand up So so fucking funny. taylor hebert could do pact but blake thorburn could not do worm. i was right that he could not handle having a juicebox poured on him without calling someone a cunt and slamming doors around about it.
i do hope i find out more about what caused his [pokes around in his brain with a spatula] Issues sooner or later bc it's more interesting to pick him apart if i know what exactly was going on there. but he looooves not thinking about let alone talking about bad memories and he might be a little too busy experiencing New bad memories to ever wheel 'em out for my pleasure. so we'll find out. holding off on any firm thoughts about him until i see if we get any more detail but either way he's interesting. certainly a guy ever. very endearing i like him
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Love people calling out bad Dracula adaptations *cough*Coppola*cough* BUT I'd like to remind people that there are several good ones out there, despite being unfaithful adaptations.
Nosferatu (1922) for example is super creepy and makes literally zero attempts to have Dracula seem sympathetic. Even it's remake couldn't do that (though it is a great remake).
Also in Nosferatu, Mina is explicitly the hero and the only person who gets stuff done. (FYI this was an illegal adaptation so character names are different)
Dracula (1931) is also really good. It was early in the sound era and it's adapting a play so it's a tad slow, but the acting is fantastic. This is THE most iconic Dracula for a reason. Bela Lugosi was considered a stud at the time so they do make him sexy, but he's still unsympathetic.
They also make it clear that Mina is not into him.
Most importantly, this has the best Renfield I've ever seen. He's completely unhinged, but you see these glimpses of humanity. His mental state does not make him immoral and he is played wonderfully by my boy Dwight Frye.
Horror of Dracula is another sexy one, but it's Christopher Lee, I don't think he could be ugly if he tried. He really played the count in a very "ordinary gent until he turns into a wild fucking animal" and its rad. The women sadly are not given a lot, but there's like 5 sequels and some of them have great leading ladies. While they do make this Drac sexy, they don't romantizise it. Silver linings.
This also has my favorite Van Helsing, though admittedly, he is nothing like the book.
None of these are very book accurate but the all kick ass without making it romantic. None of these are super gorey either if that's a concern. The most is Horror of Dracula and it only has some blood.
Just for fun if you like vampire romance, but hate it with Drcaula:
Blacula is actually really fucking good. Honestly this movie handles the romance trope really well because the romance isn't built entirely from sex, like there's actual connection. Also this movie understands the tragedy that would be inflicted onto Mina if this were to happen. Like it's not just fell sad for man hour. This does have some blood also.
Last fun fact: Blacula was the first Dracula (adjacent) movie to have the resurrected wife trope, but the trope itself came from The Mummy 1933! That's right bitches! The first Mummy movie was way back when. Long before those magical 1990s.
EDIT: Forgot the 1979 Dracula with the tagline: A Love Story. It actually does the sexiness well too cause like Minas just kind of into him? It honestly didn't feel super romanticized like it was just Minas into it. It's not perfect but it has a good Drac and THE scariest bloofer lady.
ALSO: A reblog mentioned Dead & Loving It and I'm ashamed I didn't think of it first. Smh. I'm not going for accuracy with this but tbh this is the most accurate Van Helsing.
I know there are other versions people love but I don't want to recommend movies I haven't seen, so don't worry I your favorite isn't here!
I've seen the 1974 one but I was simultaneously writing fanfic so I remember nothing from it sorry.
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Anime Year in Review
Last year I made a silly post ranking the three shows I happened to watch. This year, I got way more into anime (and manga), so let's do it properly this time
Revue Starlight* - Easy top star spot. This anime was flawless. I watched it twice this year and will be watching it again. The story, the animation, the music were all impeccable. The music, oh my god; I listen to the soundtrack every day. Some of my other favorites on this list I'd only recommend based on your personal tastes, but this show should be watched by everyone. (The sequel and spin-offs, not so much. They all use the revues in a way that completely undermines the premise of the main series)
Heavenly Delusion - So fucking good. Second on this list, but I think it's the best show that came out this year. Deeply traumatic, but in such a satisfying way. The horror elements were so brutal and so well done, and I love that the man-eating monsters were the least gruesome part of the show. If it wasn't for the stinker of the ice monster episode, I think this could've been my favorite anime
Call of the Night* - Adored this show. Yes it's a celebration of the hedonism of vampires, but it's so earnest and down-to-earth with it that it feels so good to watch that I did it twice (sub and dub). I also got into the manga, which is sadly wrapping up next month, but hopefully that prompts an announcement about season 2
Frieren: Beyond Journey's End - Super chill show, which is a great way to wind down the week. It's such a cool concept too, following the adventurer after the adventure is over. It's just a reflection on life and I love it
The Witch from Mercury (cour 2) - Given that I run a sideblog just for this show, it might be surprising that it's so low on my list, but the second cour was a lot weaker than the first. Not nearly enough of Suletta and Miorine interacting, and way too much chaff following Guel's B-plot. I've said it before, but I think the worst part of this Gundam show is that it's a Gundam show. A+ epilogue though, and Suletta is still my favorite character this year
Scott Pilgrim Takes Off - I enjoyed the original comic and the live action movie. I didn't realize this new adaption was really a sequel, but it ended up being a great way to bring the old story to the modern decade. (Two decades later isn't much, but it was very of-its-time)
Spy x Family (cour 2) - Very fun show. Following several viewpoint characters means the individual episodes might be hit-or-miss (as much as I love Anya, the episodes at the school are relatively bland), but the overall package was sweet and enjoyable
Nimona - Another comic I really enjoyed. The movie was strong, although it cut a lot of parts out that I thought were important to the original story
The Orbital Children - Directed by the same person who directed one of my long-time favorites (Dennou Coil), the first two acts of this really felt like a modern update. Stunning visuals, great sci-fi, thrilling adventure. Went totally off the deep in the third act, though
Joshiraku* - As the characters pointed out, adapting a manga that takes entirely inside the green room of a stand-up comedy club is an odd choice. It was off-the-charts hilarious, though. Considering some of the scripts were entirely pun-based, it must've been an immense amount of work to translate, but they absolutely pulled it off
Oshi no Ko - The only reason I watched this show was because the OP was such a banger. (Several fantastic anime songs by YOASOBI this year, and Idol is easily my favorite.) The first, feature-length episode was incredible and I literally cried at the end. If it was a stand-alone movie, it would be a couple of spots higher on this list. The rest of the show was fine, but not really what I was here for. I'll probably still watch season 2 though
Arknights: Prelude to Dawn* - I bounced off the gacha game immediately, but the worldbuilding and character designs seemed cool, so I wanted to give the anime adaptation a chance. The plot was very thin but serviceable enough. At least it looked nice to watch.
The Magical Revolution of ... - Not typing that whole thing out. It was a cute show. The yuri stuff was nice, but I wish for a show about a magical inventor, there was a non-zero amount of magical inventing shown on screen
* indicates the show aired prior to 2023
A lot of shows I really loved this year. Looking forward to next year, the anime I'm most hyped for is obviously Dungeon Meshi. It looks like it's going to be incredible. The second season of Arcane is also scheduled to come out late next year, which is also very exciting. Technically Frieren has a second cour in January, but they're airing both cours as basically a single 24-episode season, so that doesn't really count
For older shows I mean to catch up on, YouTube has recced me clips of probably every single joke from K-On!, and it's really grown on me. Definitely going to watch that soon. I'm also in the mood to watch Bocchi the Rock! again. I should also make myself watch the first couple episodes of PMMM. Nothing I've seen on Tumblr has grabbed me for that one, but it's right in the middle of some of the other shows I was gushing about here and it would be dumb not to try it
#anime review#revue starlight#heavenly delusion#cotn#yofukashi no uta#frieren#sousou no frieren#gundam#the witch from mercury#g witch#scott pilgrim#scott pilgram takes off#spy x family#sxf#nimona#the orbital children#joshiraku#oshi no ko#onk#arknights#magirevo#the magical revolution of the reincarnated princess and the genius young lady#dungeon meshi#arcane#k on#bocchi#bocchi the rock!#pmmm
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My review of John Logan’s Bioshock movie script
Heavy spoilers concerning the first Bioshock game, and the script that I’m finally going to review. This took a while to make. It’s long.
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I’m going to be honest with you all. I wanted to reread the entire thing. But as I read it, I started to rush through Steinman’s part and to Rudy’s introduction. I have read this script possibly countless times or just a lot. I know what happens, and I have read little details. There’s really no need to waste time reading more of it. But its best to just speak about it. This will be spoiler heavy about the script. If you’ve played the games, that’s okay. But again, just a heads up as I will have a keep reading option.
John Logan was the one in charge of writing the script for Gore Verbinski’s Bioshock movie back in the day. It was expected to be released in 2010, but due to complications such as the budget and the hard R rating, and the “Great recession” whatever happened and Universal not wanting to put out a big budget R rated film that would flop because Watchmen had flopped. There was a change in director, Gore was merely producing, and while the film was 8 weeks from shooting. It was Ken Levine who cancelled the project.
There are pieces of concept art and storyboards online to see. And Gore Verbinski has said there is all kinds of crazy stuff in pre-production. Such as literal screen tests (I REALLY want to see those) and whatever else. And I would like to mention considering those concept arts and storyboards (I wished there was more of them hopefully) that pretty much confirms to me that this script is ACTUALLY REAL. I hope, but that’s me overthinking it. Because the concept art showcases details that highly reference what happens in the script, even the one leaked storyboard.
I’ll get to talking about the script soon. Despite I’m not in the fandom as much. I love Bioshock. Particularly the first two games, and this franchise I guess helped me through 2020. I have drawn and written stuff for it. While I may not be as active as I used to be. And my opinions have changed over time. The Bioshock franchise is still one of my all-time favorite video game series.
A movie has always interested me. And when reading this about a year ago or so, I felt like I had closure after I had read this script I kept reading about. And while I had an EXTREME reaction at first to it...I want to make a detailed review of it. My own personal thoughts about it...and why it wouldn’t have worked as a film.
I’m going to review it as best as I can. Because while I have read articles talking about it. I don’t think I’ve seen a review talking about how it works and...whatever else. I’m going to say some things that may bother fans. This is all my opinion.
This is my review of the script as a fan of Bioshock, as a gamer, and as a person who loves/likes movies.
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1. To be honest, I think Gore Verbinski is an excellent choice. I liked his Pirates of the Carribean work. And his visual style would’ve been so fitting for this series. I can understand why they hired him, and I think it was technically a passion project for him (I could be wrong though because he was saddened he couldn’t finish it. He had a vision, and he went to Ken Levine for advice. Despite how I feel about that...
The scene for the introduction of the Flying Dutchman in Dead Man’s Chest...I don’t want to sound weird. That is just perfect, and I can only imagine or well, that tone or just that work...Gore can do that horror/thriller aspect. Both in tone and visually.
Again, Gore is a director I like. But...the script John Logan wrote...and John Logan doesn’t seem like a bad writer. He seems to have written fantastic work.
I do think I was kind of harsh saying John didn’t understand the source material he was given. He was hired to literally write a script of story that...took a video game to tell it in a longer fashion...but it’s just some of the choices he made. And...fuck it. He does his best and you have to commend him for doing that. Yet...that’s also one of the reasons why I don’t like this script. Or why I seem to be on Filmento’s side that...you can’t repeat the first game. You can’t do the twist, and whatever else advice Filmento says. Whatever opinions you have about him...I think he’s right.
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2. The script is 112 pages long. And as I’ve learned from Marcus Nispel, the director of the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the 2009 Friday the 13th reboot. In his documentary of the deleted scenes for the 2003 remake of TCM. He said every page equals one minute. While I question if that’s true for every film, I’m no filmmaker. But if I take into consideration with Bioshock’s script...
The film would’ve been maybe 112 minutes long. And they were going to use the WYK twist in this movie that would’ve been an hour and fifty-two minutes...that is rushed. And the script shows that. But this isn’t just about that. It’s about...the structure and plotting of the story.
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3. The script again, would’ve used the famous, “Would you kindly” twist from the game. Where the reveal where Jack was being controlled the entire time and Ryan reveals that. And Atlas had been using Jack that entire time. Along with the other twist that Fontaine is actually Atlas.
What makes that twist so impactful, however you feel about it. It works so much because you are in a video game. And you have an entire game worth of hours of playtime, finding clues, seeing the hints about it. And it fits the game’s main themes about choice, especially with the ending. Where your actions determine the kind of person Jack will become if you harvest a single Little Sister, or none at all.
Even if the game has been talked to death, especially about this certain moment. It was a big deal and still is. But here’s the issue of trying to incorporate this twist into a movie...
IT DOESN’T FIT.
Listen, I get twists like this have happened before in films and shows before. But what made the WYK twist so powerful was the fact the player played the game. And they realized their main goal was technically and their agency was taken advantage of.
You’re not simply just an avatar for the player. But you are also a person, Ryan’s literal son who was legit bred and experimented on for one goal in life, and that’s to kill Andrew Ryan himself. Jack’s blood is the reason why the bathysphere in the lighthouse even works when they are all shut down. It’s the reason why Jack is able to survive multiple does of ADAM and possibly not become a Splicer. He’s not just a sleeper agent, he’s literally a killing machine. The man is a literal super soldier in a similar vein such as Halo’s Master Chief and Doomguy. Even if Jack was brainwashed, the dude’s a fucking badass. And he’s technically “Immortal” if the vita chambers remain on.
It's what makes Ryan’s “Suicide” haunting as he literally proves a point that you are nothing but a “Slave” at that moment in the story. It’s basically Ryan telling Jack, “Fuck you” to the player and Jack himself. Especially with the last few lines he says as he is beaten to death.
But this works in a video game fashion where you can find this information or whatever else, and it works for gameplay. Yet in this...you’d have to be a fan to understand some of that because some of the changes made in the script...it’s interesting.
Again, the point being the twist works so much is because it’s a video game where the player is supposed to have agency. But when they find out they were helping one of the main villains. It comes as a literal shock. When putting that in a film or a book, it’s not as effective. Especially with the hints and...the script’s obvious ways of showcasing something is going to happen.
Basically, it works so well because again, the twist works for a video game. Because in video games unless you read a manual or discover more details, you don’t question your orders and all that crap. But in a film where you aren’t controlling the characters...it doesn’t work.
It also raises certain questions like moments in the original game. At least with the original game with certain theories and you can understand why Atlas doesn’t say “Would you kindly” consistently. Because there’s “Sane” people around and other crap people talk about. But in the film, it makes me think or maybe I’m just a sick bastard.
In scenes where Atlas is with Jack the first time, and whatever else. Why doesn’t he just tell Jack, “Would you kindly” when handling a gun, and instead of trying to act like a normal person? Or the fact...in fact...this relates to other stuff that bothers me.
The fact instead of being on a radio and he’s in person, he can easily control Jack easier or just...I want to get to the next part. He’s literally having to drag his ass after Jack’s ear gets bitten off and all that shit. When he could easily just order him to keep pushing forward.
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4. This is merely something that bothers me, or it's something I feel that’s...kind of almost excluded from the script. I get you can’t explain everything right away. But what made Bioshock such an amazing game is that the city was technically a “Character” in itself. Despite we see the aftermath of the Rapture Civil War. You have audio diaries by characters that tell the story of how it came to be.
I get having to shorten it and...one of the major themes of why Rapture fail was the fact Ryan built the city upon a flawed foundation. The “Objectivism” point of view where he pretty much explains it. People can do whatever they want without consequences. Rapture failed like places on the surface because Ryan didn’t address those concerns, such as unregulated businesses becoming corrupt, immoral experiments, and the discovery of ADAM made it worse. It sped up the process.
You even have characters like Fontaine and Sofia Lamb, even Sinclair and Bill McDonough who realized this shit was getting bad. There are other things that explain this better. But basically, don’t a be a shitty person, there’s no problem with having rules, and the so called “Paradise” was built on a selfish or...flawed ideology. Where the poor were treated like shit, and the rich could do whatever they want. Especially with Capitalism still involved...it’s a major theme of the game.
What bothers me about the script is...Rudy quickly explaining there was a civil war. And at the end with Brigid mentioning Rapture was a “Controlled experiment” and mentioning the true potential of men is “Evil” and Atlas talking about the ultimate realization of the human animal. And I’m sorry, I just dislike this simple mention of Atlas starting a resistance, and Rudy’s movie references and suggesting who to play who in a possible film about Rapture. There is still mentions of Atlas bringing things from the surface.
To be honest, I’m glad the theme of “Choice” is still involved. Because in a film, that can still work like something in Spider-Man 2. Where the whole conflict is Peter Parker having the choose between living a normal life or continue being Spider-Man. It’s a theme that can work if handled right...but not with the WYK twist. And somehow, it can still be intervened with the whole theme of why Rapture fell. Because like in words of Andrew Ryan himself.
“We all make choices. But in the end, our choices make us.”
Because yeah, that can still work. Actions speak when concerning characters. But back to the point...I’ve seen someone on a Bioshock Discord say the message sounds like a “Chosen one/breaking free narrative just screams generic empowerment for that 18-35 male target audience” and the fact...Bioshock has many themes concerning its story.
Such as the fact the game’s ending is dependent of what the player does. Do you want to be better than Ryan and Fontaine by not becoming power hungry and start a normal life with a group of Little Sisters? Or do you become as bad or worse than them, maybe starting a war with the surface and whatever else?
Again, or so, the main themes are there of how extreme ideologies can destroy a city if there aren’t any rules or any empathy. Because when you don’t have that, the consequences are horrible. And you have characters like Ryan, Fontaine, and others that showcase that when they are well...really shitty people in control.
And that brings me to the ending for the script.
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5. You know, when I heard this ending was going to be “Darker” than the bad ending in the original game. And hearing Gore wanted to blend both the good and bad ending if I recall right. Along with what Jack does in the end...this is what I imagined.
Because of how this script before I read it, they kept saying it was REALLY dark. And I had imagined the ending to be depressing. The idea of Jack after he and the Little Sisters killing Atlas/Fontaine. That Jack, the Little Sisters, and Tenenbaum go into one of the bathyspheres to leave Rapture. But before they get to the surface, in a “Werewolf” like scenario. Jack sadly succumbs to becoming a Splicer, unable to control himself, kills Brigid and the children by beating them to death with his wrench. And when he gets to the surface at the lighthouse, he’s completely gone mad.
He’s so spliced up; he doesn’t know what to do. He’s no longer himself. He can’t go back to Rapture MAYBE. And now, he’s stuck on the island where the lighthouse is at. He’s going to die possibly of starvation or whatever else...and his story ends in a tragic ending where he sadly couldn’t stop his transformation and everything he had done was for nothing and how ADAM literally destroyed him mentally and physically. Almost like a person who is cursed to be a werewolf who kills a loved one, and they sadly couldn’t control themselves.
That is what I thought would happen when I read a tag saying Jack killing Tenenbaum and the Little Sisters in the end when he turns into a Splicer...
But no, it’s actually worse in context. Because throughout the whole story, Jack is pretty much a guy who understandably wants to get the fuck out of Rapture. He’s not a bad dude, yet for some reason, he takes...Atlas’ words to heart and...it’s literally just the bad ending. It’s almost a 360 turn because throughout most of the story, he understands right from wrong and...it’s just bullshit.
I get the story is dark. And I feel like because Gore took advice from Ken. Along with knowing Ken only wanted the bad ending to be canon but 2K didn’t want that. This feels like Ken also wanting his original vision still be seen. When in reality, I think the game having two different endings is great because it plays an important role in the themes of choice.
The ending here...I guess is just for shock value and I strangely would’ve preferred an ending where Jack dies giving his life or something so we wouldn’t have such an ending. Yeah, that’s depressing but alias...I’m not into the ending.
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6. The characters and how they are written is what I’ve been wanting to talk about too. I want to admit that there’s nothing wrong with different characterizations. But I do think it depends on the character you are writing and how that characterization respects the original. Does it respect the character or not?
But the script’s interpretation of some characters...I think it's also me being annoyed by some pieces of dialogue. I’ll get to this point.
I HATE the idea to make Atlas and Fontaine not one person. I get it because of the runtime, but overtime, Fontaine IS Atlas. It’s just kind of weird to me because I guess it makes Atlas more interesting. It’s what makes Atlas stand out. Even though with this change, it does make it easy. But it makes me wonder about the lore in this script if...Atlas did well...he did smuggle shit into the city.
But what I hate is the mischaracterization of Atlas. His dialogue after the twist just doesn’t click with me. John could’ve written the direction with Atlas is that he put up a “Good guy” font in front of everyone when in reality he’s pretty fucking horrible. Yeah, you may not have, “Name’s Frank Fontaine” but at least have Atlas being a fucking bastard who knew Rapture would fall and taking advantage of it. Instead of, “We can be free again”, or “I’m free now. I’m the first man who has ever been free...I AM ADAM” and other pieces of his stupid dialogue in the final battle.
I fucking love Fontaine and his Bronx accent. Don’t judge me. I think I’m being nitpicky too. There’s also another thing I joked with my good buddy @atlas-slut-of-the-people long ago. And this concerns Jack’s...experimentation of becoming a sleeper agent. Did Atlas actually have a wife and child? Or was the woman and child on the sub just two random people?
Did he literally take Jack into his house, do experiments on him, and you have Moira going like, “ATLAS PLEASE SPEND TIME WITH ME AND PATRICK!” and Atlas is like, “Not now honey. I’m creating my own personal sleeper agent” as he forces little Jack to watch films of fake memories. Listen, I know Fontaine’s plan is fucking insane. But did Atlas need to do that? Did he speed up Jack’s age in this universe too? Or did Jack grow up naturally? No, no...some things aren’t explained.
Oh, I found out he did inject ADAM into him during his...experimentation...and there’s also the fact Jasmine is the “Baby carriage Splicer” and hinting that Jack was a baby...like...good lord...listen, I as a fan understand the lore and Jack’s life...
But this being left up in the air is just stupid. I also hate the fact that possibly Tenenbaum and Suchong aren’t involved in Jack’s creation. But that’s another thing. And there’s the fact whether I should call this good or bad that it confirms in the script Tenenbaum created the Big Daddies...I hate the Suchong erasure.
Let’s talk about Jack. Listen, I don’t hate Jack, I like him. And I love that on Tumblr, lots of people love the good ending and see him as a person. That’s absolutely great. Yet I will admit that...and this is likely just me being annoyed by the fandom. There is nothing wrong with head canons and all that or how you feel about characters. But I get tired of this fandom and it’s intriguing to a series that’s M rated...some of the fans try to act righteous. But I shouldn’t be the one to judge.
I just hate it when people act like their opinion is fact. But that’s not the main point, yet it kind of relates to what I’m going to say as Jack.
He is a character; he is a person. But in the end...he’s still technically the player’s avatar. And his choices are dependent on what the player does in the game. And the script’s interpretation of him is...something.
Fuck it, I’ll just get to it. The role of Jack as in the game can’t work in a film. You can’t have a character like that in a film unless...you did something different. A main protagonist, whether hero, villain, or whoever needs to have a goal, what is their motive? What keeps them going forward? You can’t have a character like Jack with just...listen, a part of me feels like the whole college graduation stuff isn’t worth it. Including the obvious hints to the upcoming twist.
Like, did Atlas put that shit into his memory? Considering shit like Jack’s dad mentioning a “Mr. Ryan” from New York, the visions of the ADAM syringe in the pool.
I have even called this Jack a “Bitch” or so...Jack’s original character can’t just be put into a different medium. Like...to me, he’s the one character in the franchise that NEEDS to be reinvented if you are going to use him in some way. Because the story of the “Ace in the Hole” is something that can’t be done in a film unless someone thinks of something crazy good.
I guess the only thing to say is that he lacks personality, you don’t have a reason to care for him unless you were already a fan of him. He’s a “Boring” and “Blank” protagonist you aren’t invested in.
Characterization is an issue with this script. Like...I felt like Tenenbaum and Ryan aren’t that bad. But some of Ryan’s dialogue at the end is a bit weird. A popular character like Sander Cohen is used for only one scene and quickly killed off. And the Big Daddy isn’t much of a character and...
There’s...nothing to be invested in. It sounds rough saying that. And you have the introduction of Rudy Pendergast. A character that...I strangely hate, but don’t. John could’ve seriously used a character like Bill McDonough or even Diane Mcclintock. But like Atlas-slut-of-the-people said. He’d probably would’ve made them evil somehow. And you have Steinman for one scene where Jack tries to ask him stuff.
You know, I’m also bothered by how my favorite character, Tenenbaum is saved for the end. I’m going to say what another person has said, the script feels so singular, particularly with its characters. The only person who gets an arc is Jack and everyone else is...there for his arc. I want to continue on.
But also, I get the intention with “Flower” the Little Sister Jack meets...again, despite it’s a fictional story and...you need to write characters instead of whatever. Yet okay, that scene with her and Jack is nice.
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7. You know, I actually admire the direction to make this REALLY hard R. I feel like the type of grim violence I can compare this script’s is to films like Aliens vs Predator Requiem and the 2010 remake of The Wolfman. Despite their critical receptions, those films are fucking brutal. And considering the tone and violence of this script, it would’ve made it stand out. I’ve even called this script Bioshock Requiem due to how...tonally dark this is.
Particularly for scenes like Flower the Little Sister being brutally murdered by Rudy, and after that, Rudy getting fucking brutalized by a Big Daddy. Then you have baby carriage Jasmine getting ripped apart by a Spider Splicer in front of her own son. You even have the scene of Jack shooting the passengers and pilots aboard his airplane when he’s being brainwashed. Even the stewardess he was talking to earlier. Also, keep in mind when it mentions when Jack is on the plane, families were mentioned to be on there. So, it makes me wonder if Jack sadly...shot children. Glad it doesn’t make it explicit.
And you even have the one part I mentioned that sticks with me. That being the scene where the Football Splicer bits Jack’s ear off. Maybe his right ear, I forgot if it mentions it, I think it doesn’t. But I find it funny when thinking of some shit I write, I think of an idea where a character bites a character’s ear off...it just sticks with me.
Considering how violent and brutal the games are, it’s actually fitting. And I wonder if the violence serves a purpose...and it seems to because it really captures the unpredictability of the Splicers and even the brutal power of the Big Daddies. It sells it brilliantly, especially with the Splicers hurting each other, as they were once people that sadly lost their minds.
It really reinforces the horrific downfall of Rapture. Even though I still wonder if you could do more with it. But maybe that’s the point that the violence is so horrific and unforgiving because it could’ve been prevented in some way.
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8. You know, the direction with Rapture in this script. The fake neighborhood, literal parks, a...ice cream truck is mentioned...it’s weird to me but unless it was shown in motion...it’s just interesting to read about parks in giant domes instead of places like Arcadia sadly and whatever else. There is the mention of “Olympus Height Tower” but...it’s weird not hearing other places and Fort Folic Club” being a small club or so...
Listen, I’m so used to Rapture in the first two games. That the idea of an ice cream truck, and the fake neighborhood, or even the mention one of the Splicers is a cop, and one being a magician. But I think with the magician seems like he could be from somewhere like Fort Folic. And the cop Splicer could’ve been someone who was trying to reinforce Ryan’s rule before going crazy.
This kind of relates to the themes. So, in this, did Ryan just not care or invite certain random people? Because this city unless I read it wrong, sounds like it’s more...streamlined than what was shown in the games. Unless I’m thinking differently. But the point being with what I’m saying Ryan preferred people that were rich, he didn’t care for the poor.
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I think it’s time I finally finish this post. I’ve taken breaks when making it. This got really long, but hey, it’s a detailed review about a script I’ve read a lot. I’ve looked back at it when making this.
You know why The Last of Us on HBO worked? While it being a tv show helped it A LOT. But it's the fact while there were changes to help it and make its own thing...the story is pretty straight forward. The issue with a series like Bioshock, particularly the first two games is the layout of the stories. We’re talking about video games where you learn about characters through audio diaries, the emphasis on choices and endings that can be either canon. It’s only when Infinite, Burial at Sea, and Minerva’s Den are the ones that a story where player choice is heavily involved.
Hell, while I have my issues with Paramount Plus’s Halo tv series. The idea to make it its own thing and not being an exact adaptation is a fine idea. But the way it was handled, and as much as I want an adaptation of Combat Evolved and other things...you need to be careful. But seriously, Halo is a whole other discussion.
Video games are such a different medium and adapting certain games into movies or shows is difficult. And I agree with a YouTuber I respect, that being Filmento. Whatever you feel about him or so. I think for something like Bioshock...you can’t make an exact adaptation of that first game. And I think for the sake of this fanbase, you can’t make it within the canon of the games themselves.
The Bioshock film, especially the upcoming Netflix one needs to be hold its ground as a film. It’s the same thing as a comic book adaptation. Such as Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy or Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy. You cannot copy and paste a certain story unless there are certain changes. Which I think most people get that. But with Bioshock, considering how much this series is loved, I feel like more people need to understand that. Even for diehard fans, IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN.
This is why films like the Sonic films work, and even the recent Super Mario Bros Movie did well. And even a film like Rampage (2018) and talking about these three franchises is something else. But again, these four films work as films.
But you need to respect the source material, while making something new with the material. You make a movie with game elements as Filmento has said. Especially for a series like Bioshock. You can have a prequel show with Bill as the main character later on, and whatever else you want to do.
In a nutshell like with all films, make a story that general audiences can follow easily, characters they can get invested in, and again, take the best elements from all three games and develop something new that honors the legacy of those games. It’s weird I’m giving out this advice because I do still keep Filmento’s tweets of what to do with this film. It’s also because with how much I was critical of this script for a cancelled movie.
I’m hoping to God, and I worry what Francis Lawrence and Michael Green will do is just try to adapt that first game. When to me, this script proves you shouldn’t do that. Unless what they deliver changes my mind, just remember what I’ve talked about this script and what I criticized.
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Long post about a movie up ahead…
You know what it was for me about the new Hellraiser? There was no romance in it.
There was no passion. No sweat. No grime. The desperation rang hollow. There was no dirt. There was no seduction. There was no appreciation for the beauty of filth and ugliness. It was just beautiful.
I feel like, nowadays, people are so concerned about people taking horror ‘seriously’ that any love that might have gone into it falls to the wayside. There used to be a visceral love for horror- not just the heightened aesthetics, but for the grossness. The getting dirty. The true disturbing quality of the human body as an object. The wetness, the juiciness, the blood, the grease, the fat, the flesh. People falling apart, hair undone, eyes wild, covered in sweat and tears. There’s a romance in that. A romance in the base form of humanity. In desperation. In fear.
No amount of beautifully made, consistency-accurate, color-accurate fake blood will match the way Kirsty looks in 1987 screaming “You want it? Fucking have it!” She is raw. She is frightened. She is angry and undone and she wants to fight. She looks like an animal.
That is the franchise. That. The human animal. When you watch Hellraiser 1987, it’s so clear that the people making the movie understood what they were making. Understood the beauty of the horrific. And yeah, that’s probably not a fair comparison, as the literal author Clive Barker was at the helm of the project. But that does even further disservice to 2022. And even with all the beauty 2022 captured, a clean, modern, painfully clinical beauty though it may be, there is nothing luscious or lurid about it. Nothing about the Cenobites seems particularly ‘forbidden,’ because they look like pieces of modern art. They have no enticement. I felt like I observed them with the same appraising eye one might cast upon a particularly lovely sculpture. I didn’t want to take a closer look, a grave and fatal feeling for a franchise like Hellraiser. I mean my god, when people talk about ‘sexy’ horror, Candyman and Hellraiser are often the first two names that get called out. This movie was not sexy. Not at all.
The surreal and fantastical were left to the wayside in favor of brutalism and realism. It leaves wonder behind, supplanting it with rote fear. The character’s lack of understanding is devoid of genuine curiosity. It seems the filmmakers fundamentally misunderstood that you can be filled with awe and wonder both in a positive way, and in a negative way. There’s no temptation. There are no trances. No dreams. You’ll never see anything like the premonition Kirsty had in 1987. Or the flashback romance scenes between Frank and Julia. That visual style of storytelling is gone.
The concepts behind 2022 were good. They had an interesting take on the lore, and to include a ritual to the Configuration was smart, and well done. But that eventually served only in detriment as well, as the entirety of the movie then rang like a ‘deal with the devil’ morality tale. It’s confusing in that way, as one of the iconic lines spoken by the original Priest (Pinhead) when asked who the Cenobites are is “Demons to some; Angels to others.” There’s an attractiveness to that. To them.
How is it possible, then, that the filmmakers seemed to forgo the angelic part of that quote? The 2022 Cenobites were beautifully designed, meticulously created creatures. The were beautiful. But the christian bible, and indeed many faiths across time all understand that to see something beautiful can be terrifying and frightening. One of the most commonly known snippets of the Bible, at least in the western world, comes from Luke 2:10, “But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid […]’.” An angel, and the first words spoken are “Do not be afraid.” If one cast their eyes upon the unobstructed form of Zeus’ beauty, they would die. If one saw Anubis walk into a room, jackal head and all, it would be impossible to look away, but also frightening to the core. To see a god, any god, in the flesh is to be both terrified and excited. Those two feelings are inextricable.
Why is it, then, that no one is seeking the Cenobites out? Why does not one hunt for the Configuration? The very promise of the appearance of the Cenobites is the promise to take you to the furthest reaches of experience and sensation, when pleasure and pain can no longer be separated. To experience that which you could never dream of. To push the boundaries to breaking, until you exist only as a being of feeling, beyond and above even consciousness. So why does no one want to see the Cenobites?
The issue falls to the framing device, which needn’t have been used to such ill effect. When you reduce those claimed by the Cenobites to sacrifices, you reduce the Cenobites to nothing more than pretty weapons. The lives the Cenobites take are offerings, stepping stones to an end goal. While the Cenobites may enjoy in their activities, there is no one seeking out to touch them. To reach them. Not the entity behind them. Those who wish to receive a gift from the Cenobites never truly interact with them. The gift is no longer the visit in and of itself. What sights have they to show us, when they are nothing but glorified weapons of their god, instead of gods in their own right?
And don’t even get me started on the coloring. Look, I know it’s very en vogue for things to be monochromatic and dark in movies these days, but my god where was the color?! Where was it!! The glimpses we got were not enough when 1987 is just so bright. And then, to make things worse, the Cenobites were shown almost entirely without obstruction. Just out there in the open, for the most part, albeit in the distance and shown briefly. No illusory quality to them. I know I don’t want a closer look when I can see every detail of them the first time. That’s a person with pins in her head, that one doesn’t have eyes or a face, that one’s neck is one huge gash, that one’s in a skin straight jacket. I know because I can see it. I’d surely run if I could see that right off the top. Gone is the sense of ‘oh my god, oh my god, what was that?’ I get your designs are strong, and really very well made, but don’t just give it to me. Let me want it a bit first. Tease me with it. With them.
On top of that, the reds aren’t as red. The blues aren’t as blue. The color shift felt virtually nonexistent between the Hellworld and the real one, and neither reality is particularly vibrant. You’ll never see as intense a contrast as you hope to see. People being stabbed, ripped apart, torn by chains, flayed, all these things look wonderful, but just too real. Why do I care if your red is tone-accurate when your reference looks like a technicolor nightmare in the best possible way?
The drama! The unrealism! The intensity! The Cenobites are not of this earth. We call their realm ‘hell,’ but you could just as easily call it a parallel or alternate dimension. They simply exist. There are so few properties with a strong enough foundation for the only limit to be your imagination, and unfortunately it felt like this new Hellraiser was want of any. I don’t want your anatomically correct muscles and perfectly researched disfigurements, I want unreality. Give me fantasy, or don’t bother.
I say all this with the heaviest of hearts. The Priest was well designed. The Cenobites, and there were quite a few of them, all had potential to induce desire. They just…didn’t. It just felt like no one understood. Like no one would think twice about whether they wanted to see the Priest- of course the wouldn’t! And god, did that show. I think at least someone working on a Hellraiser property should be able to see the desirability of the Cenobites, the tantalizing nature of the taboo, the socially outcast.
Clive Barker was a gay man who released The Hellbound Heart in the 1986, and the original Hellraiser film in 1987. This was the height of the AIDS epidemic, when gay men were seen as disease, not just carrying disease. Monsters. Predators. Animals. They were laughed at and scorned, and treated as so much less than human. Treated like they deserved their fate. Their tragedy was the butt of everyone’s joke. Yet, those very people were still wanted under the cover of night. Still desired. How is it possible this new team missed the mark so entirely? How could they not understand that when one’s very desires are deemed deviant, when your nature is seen as repugnant, unnatural, criminal, one eventually comes to a place where those words become badges of pride? Of a way to differentiate yourself from those who would wish you dead? That idea didn’t make its way to Hellraiser 2022.
We never got to a place that said, Yes. Yes they are deviant, and repugnant, and criminal and damned. They will drag you down with them into endless agonies. Not a single person will be able to save you. You think even touching them will kill you. And you still want them.
All the makings of an excellent new Hellraiser were there, but nothing was enough. Colors, editing, acting, story, beauty, fear, dirtiness, sexiness (jesus god there was no sexiness), it all came up short. They weren’t brave enough to explore the further regions of experience.
Clinical and devoid of passion, Hellraiser 2022 gets a heartbreaking 1/5*
#jd shit#Hellraiser#review#Hellraiser 2022#hellraiser 1987#writing#movies#film#1/5*#was there a single gay person behind the camera?#idk what else to tag this. I wasn’t going to really write about it#but more than disappointing it just really really broke my heart#why does no one love horror so much they want to eat it anymore?#do you get it?#I watch Kirsty’s dream- or the scenes with Frank and Julia- or the ripping apart at the end#or pinhead teasing Kirsty with the lament configuration#and I want to EAT those moments#I want them IN me. to be PART of me#like Maurice Sendak and that 5 year old boy who are his drawing#where is THAT level of passion?
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