#loscar angst
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no more (LS2 x OP81)
i cannot write a synopsis, 2 happy moments + one sad one.
w/c: 960
day 40 of loscar posts until we get a loscar podium!!!!!!! (series masterlist) masterlist
a/n: give me a HOT minute, im writing this fic im actually REALLY invested in and to that one person who sent me the loscar prompt THANK YOU IM WORKING ON IT.
“When are we meeting next?” Logan asks, lying on the soft grass.
“Probably next week, somewhere around there.” Oscar replies while leaning against a tree.
The sun is setting in the distance, casting a beautiful orange glow onto the both of them. Logan lying on the grass a few metres away from Oscar.
“Sunset’s gorgeous.” Oscar comments, pointing vaguely in the general direction of the sun.
“It is.” Logan says as he tilts his head to look at the sunset.
The clouds slowly float over the sun, which is halfway down the horizon by now. It’s magnificent. The rays of sunlight shoot through the clouds, giving them a heavenly glow and as Logan looks over at Oscar, the sunlight strikes down on him, giving him an orange tint.
It’s pretty.
Oscar smiles at Logan and pats the spot next to him, prompting Logan to crawl over and sit next to Logan. He shifts closer to Oscar as both of them look into the sunset.
This was their moment. This will always be their moment. Friday evenings underneath the tree on the hill.
Just Logan and Oscar.
“I love the sunset.” Logan says as he leans back.
“Mhm.” Oscar hums an approving hm and nods, “It looks beautiful.”
It takes them about another 30 minutes to start packing up. By now the sun has set, it’s getting dark and both of them agree that they need to get home.
Logan grabs up his bag which he brought here, it has a bunch of keychains on it, most of them from Oscar.
They look at each other for a solid second before hugging tightly, each of their arms wrapped firmly around the other.
When they finally break away from the hug, Oscar chuckles and Logan follows suit.
“Same time, same place next week?” Logan smiles.
Oscar nods.
“I’ll see you!” Logan says before running down the hill back to his home, somewhere down the street, near the countryside.
Oscar goes down the other way, since his house is much closer to the city.
Both boys go their separate ways.
—
Logan lies on the rooftop with Oscar. Noises of car honks, bar chatters and bird chirps can be heard but both of them still lie there, looking up into the sky.
“The night sky is underrated.” Logan says, placing his hands underneath his head.
Oscar does the same before chuckling and saying, “Just like you.”
Logan scoffs playfully.
“Just kidding.” Oscar moves closer to Logan, “Always number one in my heart.”
The rooftops of places has been their alternative to the tree on the hill ever since both of them moved into F3.
Something about it was so surreal. It was noisy, yet with each other, everything else faded into the background and became white noise, it was just the two of them.
Nothing had changed since their childhood, their moment had always stayed there.
“Thank you.” Logan softly says.
“Always.” Oscar whispers back as Logan moves even closer to Oscar.
“I’m gonna miss these if we stop doing them.” Logan admits.
“What! We’re never gonna stop.” Oscar defends, “I promise.”
Logan chuckles softly, “I know, I know but… if.”
“No need for that, it’s never gonna happen.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Logan sits up and so does Oscar.
They hug.
“We gotta get back.” Logan says.
They both stand up.
Oscar pats Logan’s shoulder and Logan does the same for Oscar.
They both walk down the stairs before parting ways at their respective levels.
“See you Loges.” Oscar says.
“Same time, next week.” Logan reminds and Oscar nods, winking at Logan before going to his room.
Logan goes the other way.
—
Logan stands in the rain, the raindrops drenching his clothing.
“Logan!” Alex shouts, “Get in. You’re gonna get wet.”
Logan turns around and sighs, walking into the garage.
Alex wraps Logan in a towel and pats him on the back, “Still no Oscar?”
Logan shakes his head, pulling the towel around him. It has a lavender scent, much like Oscar would. He closes his eyes and gives himself a silent minute.
“Well, don’t stand in the rain, you’ll get sick and we seriously cannot afford that right now.” Alex pats Logan’s shoulder.
Logan nods, “Sorry.” He mutters.
“It’s okay… just be safe.” Alex says before briskly walking off.
Oscar. Where’s Oscar?
“Oscar.” Logan mutters before picking up his phone.
He goes into Oscar’s chat.
It’s a bunch of unread messages.
They were supposed to meet at the Williams Garage an hour ago.
Logan tries another time and calls Oscar again. The phone rings for a few minutes before it sends to voicemail.
Logan sighs, placing his phone back down on the table. He leans back into his chair, like it was the tree they used to be at.
Logan shuffles his feet and pulls the towel away from him, rising to his feet and pacing around.
He’d never waited more than an hour for Oscar to show up.
Oscar would always be there.
The rain storms in the background.
He’d never been this lonely before.
Oscar would always be there.
The silence of the garage is deafening.
He’d never want to leave Oscar.
Oscar would always be there.
Where was Oscar?
“Logan.” Alex says, as he walks into the garage.
Alex takes a deep breath as Logan walks up to him.
“Oscar’s not here.” Alex drops the bombshell, “He left an hour ago, apparently.”
Logan stops moving, his eyes meet Alex’s.
“He’s at some bar with Lan.” Alex continues.
“Sorry.” Alex says softer.
Logan nods subtly, “Thanks.”
Alex stays there for a while, “You need a minute?”
Logan nods again so Alex walks out.
Oscar left. Oscar had left Logan.
Did he even remember?
Oscar said he’d always be there.
Where was Oscar.
#f1#formula one#formula 1#f1 fandom#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#not beta read#loscar post#loscar#op81#ls2#williams racing#logan sargeant#oscar piastri#williams f1#loscar angst#angst#f1 angst#loscar fics#ls2 x op81#mclaren#mclaren f1#mclaren racing#op81 angst#ls2 angst#ls2 x op81 angst#fluff and angst#fluff/angst
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❛ you were a wonderful ❛ you were
experience... ❜ everything..❜
#it's sad szs again!!!#you cannot spell loscar without angst#look i try to make happy posts but then a lacy edit pops up and then i just....#logan sargeant#oscar piastri#formula 1#loscar#stella's textposts
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*lightly pets Logan*
This little man can fit so much angst into him.
#f1#formula 1#logan sargeant#miami gp 2024#I may or may not have written a angst fic over Logan with death at the end 😔#if you ever want to write or draw angst and don't know who to do it over you either do Brocedes or Logan (maybe even Loscar)
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i would like to go one day. ONE. DAY. without loscar edits/things that make me cry
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loscar headcanon bc i indulge in angst, non rpf girlies feel free to skip this
what if it was oscar that was unconditionally loving logan instead.
what if oscar fell in love with logan when they were just 14, logan new to the place and oscar shows him around, logan's hand warm in oscar's bigger one.
what if he originally planned to let logan win f3, so that he and logan could move on to f2 together, but it didnt go his way and logan ends up dnfing, the championship win slightly bitter in the aussie's mouth.
what if he realises he cant bring logan along with him everywhere he goes the moment he finds out logan cant move up to f2 with him, he bangs on logan's hotel door and cries in his arms because they were going to be separated.
what if oscar realised logan didnt feel the same way the moment they reached f1, so he decided to take his mind off logan and let loose his feelings, and he decides to try loving his teammate instead, succeeding in being drunk over the feeling of new love.
what if during then, logan realises hes been in love with oscar all along, but he doesnt know oscar used to love him back, he just assumed he never did, and slowly lets the heartburn feeling destroy him as it pulses through his body everytime he glances at oscar
#sorry for making everything sad LOL#i indulged in itafushi recently. and its like suddenly i love angst too much#im in a commited marriage with angst#loscar#logan sargeant#oscar piastri
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All I can think about lately is Logan getting hanahaki so here's a vague outline of a fic I'll never write. *Edited because good God there were so many spelling mistakes+tw of mentions of blood and dying
Being head over heels over your best friend isn't the best thing in the world. Even if you spend 23 hours with them it still won't be enough. Logan knows he should just man up and tell Oscar but like...no. Why should he tell Oscar when he could just suffer in silence?
When both him and Oscar gets into F1, Logan thinks it's high time he confesses but Oscar hasn't been around much lately. He chalks it up to having to get to know your teammate better and other team related stuff. But when you see Lewis Hamilton more than your best friend, he knows that he's basically lost Oscar to his papaya-clad counterpart. Surprise, surprise he gets hanahaki because when has the universe ever taken pity on him? It starts small at first with a few petals per day but then they start getting bigger and sometimes he throws up full-on flowers. He has two choices, well three but the third one is obviously out of the question, 1. Get the surgery to remove the flowers but he has to lose all memories and feelings he has of Oscar or 2. Not do anything. Of course, he chooses the latter because he's so whipped that he'd rather die than lose all the years of memories he has of Oscar. So he does that and suffers through races upon races of trying to stuff petals back into his mouth when he's not alone.
For some reason, Oscar finds out and he...he LIKES HIM TOO???? Like no cap, fr??? Wtf, so you're telling him that he could have confessed and wouldn't have had to be laying in a pool of flower petals and his own blood every other week? Damn, well, it may not have been the chosen path but at least they got there.
Logan's walking through the paddock, trying to find Oscar when he overhears a part of his conversation UNINTENTIONALLY okay, and if someone says that he moved closer to hear better, they're lying. And oh. Oh, it's really bad. Like 'I'm only with Logan because he's my best friend and I don't want him to die bad'. At that moment, at that instant, the hanahaki comes back full force. He's choking on petals, blood and saliva. He's grasping his throat, at a loss on how to get some well needed oxygen into his lungs when Oscar comes out to find him convulsing on the paddock ground. Oscar doesn't know what to do other than shout at someone to call an ambulance as he runs his fingers through Logan's hair, begging Logan to hold out a little longer.
Oscar's being presented with two options when they get to the hospital. Either consent to the surgery or let Logan die. It's a no-brainer, he consents to it even if that means Logan won't remember him. When Logan wakes up after the surgery, he sees a man clad in a mind numbing orange sat next to his hospital bed. Oscar, the name of the orange man, says he had to have an emergency surgery because his appendix burst. Weird, Logan thinks, because he doesn't see any scar at where his appendix should be.
It's the Abu Dhabi GP. Oscar's in his car, trying not to hack his lungs out. He doesn't feel sick but he can't stop coughing for some reason. He looks in his rearview mirror and sees the number 2 of a Williams car. His chest constricts for half a second which was odd. Whatever, he refocuses on the lights in front of him. He's not going to let some coughing fit affect his racing when McLaren's so close to getting third in the constructor's championship.
Finally, finally, he finishes the race with more than a couple close calls when he was having coughing fits in his car. He mutters a soft prayer as he cruises around the track one last time before returning to his garage. His legs are shaky as he starts the walk back with his helmet under his arm. He sees Logan's garage. Not too far from his own. He coughs. Just once. He coughs once and he sees it. A flower petal floating delicately onto the asphalt ground. A blue rose petal.
Shit.
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but with you, I see hope again
pairing: logan sargeant/oscar piastri
warnings: anxiety attacks
genre: angst/fluff
word count: 590
notes: hey, so this is my first official fic. I hope you enjoy it though! also on ao3
requested: no
“I’m sorry, guys.”
It was just a practice session, yet the remorse from it stung like salt to a wound for Logan.
No, the pain he felt couldn’t even be compared to salt on an open scar. It was like he had been thrown into a deep pool, and he couldn’t swim out.
P20. P20 for qualifying, and he couldn’t even improve his time with another fresh set of softs.
Logan exhaled shakily, letting the mask he put on in public drop as he slammed shut the door to his driver’s room. He wasn’t going to let the media, the fans, the haters know that he was not in his best shape at the moment.
P20. What a disgrace, only in Formula One because of backing money.
Why is he even in this sport? Latifi deserved the seat more than him.
Williams should have taken Nyck de Vries as soon as possible instead of this waste of grid space.
The echoes. Logan’s heart was racing. He inhaled deeply once more, exhaled, but as if he was drowning, the air got knocked out of his lungs immediately, but not like when he was in love.
Logan Sargeant shouldn’t deserve to race at all.
He raised his clammy fists, rubbed them on his face despite his muscles protesting, not even noticing that cold sweat was already beading at his eyebrows. He breathed loudly, fast-paced, savouring every bit of oxygen that was able to enter his lungs, which wasn’t much to him. Once again, he didn’t notice that this time, tears were already flowing down.
He let his brain then wonder to why he can’t be as good as Oscar. Oscar, who went into almost every stage of life with him. Oscar, who was always with him. Oscar, who did wonders this qualifying, being able to drive so fast he got p2 and p1 at points in time. Oscar, who he needed next to him right now, needed his embrace.
James isn’t defending you because he wants you to stay in the team, it’s because he wants to keep his reputation.
A sob tore through Logan. The echoes were getting more and more loud, more overwhelming, so loud he didn’t hear the sound of his driver’s room door clicking open, and when he did, he didn’t even bother looking up.
“Benny,” he muttered, grinning a bit, trying to find that lost mask that he had just dropped minutes ago, but not even bothering to look up.
It wasn’t Benny.
“Logan…” That voice.
A blur of orange emerged, kneeling in front of him. Logan’s cheeks were still wet with tears, tears that couldn’t seem to stop flowing.
“It’s okay, breathe, breathe” The calming voice muttered, a pair of warm yet strong arms enveloping Logan’s body. Another sob, and another, as Oscar ran his hands through Logan’s hair softly, in a way that did help Logan feel better, but he was still trembling.
“Logan, it’s okay. It’s okay. James isn’t going to get you replaced, it’s okay.” Oscar whispered into Logan’s ear, pressing a soft kiss to Logan’s temple, in hopes of calming him down. His slate nomex was being stained by Logan’s tears, but he didn’t seem too bothered by it.
Oscar’s warmth was comforting, comforting enough to slow down Logan’s hyperventilation. He held Oscar tighter, burying his face into the brunette’s neck. His tears lessened, as Oscar pressed his lips onto Logan’s messy blonde hair.
“It’s okay” Oscar whispered. Logan knew it would be, as long as the two of them were together.
#logan sargeant#oscar piastri#loscar#osclo#logan sargeant fanfic#logan sargeant imagine#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri imagine#op81#ls2#0281#281#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#angst#fluff#bonappetit * ˚ ✦
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dazzling starlet, webber reincarnate
He had nothing but hope to hold on when it came to his seat, nothing but faith that maybe in the next race, he wouldn't come last and would score points. He was mad at him for being too good for his liking.
“I'm not mad, I'm tired, ” he insisted, lying to his face and not caring if he bought it or not.
“You don't sound happy, ” he retorted, pointing his finger at him as he stood up and walked towards him. “If you were only tired, you wouldn't be pouting like a baby or refusing to look at me. ”
“Oscar… ”
“Why are you mad at me?”
He didn't answer. He couldn’t tell him that he hated him for everything that he wasn't.
#f1#formula 1#oscar piastri#logan sargeant#williams racing#loscar#mclaren f1#japanese gp 2023#i had a vision#angst#lacy by olivia rodrigo#tiktok edit made me do it
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I present to you the most common loscar narrative. day six of loscar content/posts till we get a loscar podium
#f1#formula one#formula 1#f1 fandom#platonic love#loscar post#loscar#oscar piastri#logan sargeant#mclaren#williams racing#lacy#olivia rodrigo#guts olivia rodrigo#lacy oh lacy#im regretting starting this on a non race week#sad logan content#loscar angst#ls2 x op81#op81#ls2
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me, writing: this isnt that sad
also me, rereading what i wrote a few days later: *holding back tears* i am a fucking menace.
anyway. have yet another snippet from my loscar fic thats 15k+ that i cant stop thinking about. should be out hopefully before hungary
He’s sitting there, staring for however long, when a song comes on. Dial Drunk by Noah Kahan comes on from his playlist, and Logan just falls apart.
He’s sobbing and empty and alone, no Oscar and a recovering drunk with no car to drive in tomorrow.
His life is over; he’s sobbing into the window as the song plays
I’ll change my faith, I’ll praise the flag,
Just wait I swear she’ll call me back,
“Son, are you a danger to yourself?”
All the emotions from the last three years come over him, and he realises it; he can’t live like this. Elly’s words come back to him too.
You need to let yourself be happy, she said to him, and it hits him harder than he realised.
also any writers pls reach out if u can proofread and i can proofread for uuu i need advice and to make friends on hereeee
#🫣#WHOOPS#i am a fucking menace#i am going to leak half this fic before i even finish it atp#why do i only write angst#<- using this tag once again#281#loscar#osclo#f1 fanfic
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Poly Pairings
Key: ♤angst ♡fluff ◇hurt/comfort ♧spicy ☆smut ○crack
Lestappen
Stop Thirsting♡
Mr. Blue Sky ♤♡
Baby Daddy☆
Attitude☆
Sad Boy Hours♤
Joint Coping♤◇
Hidden In Plain Sight♤♡
One for me and One for you◇
Ma Belle♡
Don't leave us♤◇
Landoscar
Sharing Is Caring ☆
Still have you♤
Ride ☆
Wish come true◇
Possesive☆
The responsible one♡○
Hold Me♡◇
Viva Las Vegas♡♧
Breathe For Me♤◇
Breaking point♤
Flowers in your throat♤◇
So Powerful, So Vulnerable◇○
Medication Mishap♡
The Thrill Of It☆
Maxiel
Caught in a Lie☆
Rock Gardens♡
Norstappen
All too Real☆
Carlando
Mentor Them☆○
The Wolf, the Bunny, and the Muppet☆
Charlos
Collapse◇
Dando
My love, my life, and my nerodivergent partners in crime♡○
Saftey In Your Arms◇
Loscar
Celebratory Kissing☆
Don't Wanna Do This Again◇
Max and Oscar
Not your fault♤◇
White Clovers♡◇
Norlestappen
What you Deserve♤♡◇
Rest♡◇
Music Notes♤◇
Unrequited Understanding♤
Norstaptri
Entitled To You♤◇
2019 Rookies
Anfractuosity♤
Max, Lando, and Daniel
Cutting Tensions☆
Oscar, Logan, and Liam
Fair Play♡○
Panicking! In Your Arms♡◇
A Little Lost♡◇
Every Step of the Way◇
AUS24♧♡♤
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GOOD MORNING ITS RACE DAY
i’m abusing the tiny platform i have today, so cue ad:
DO YOU LIKE THIS GUY?
HOW ABOUT THIS GUY?
AND FINALLY HOW AB THIS DUDE
…you wanna see em kiss?
WELL HAVE I GOT THE FIC FOR YOU
a little threesome turned throuple moment with these wonderful guys.
read it on ao3: link
BUT DONT GO AWAY
when you’re done you can add a BONUS FIC.
THATS RIGHT
A BONUS FIC
my wonderful beta and buddy @i-am-church-the-cat posted TWO fics yesterday (and they’re both incredible)
so if you’re looking to keep the loscar train going with some boys in love or boys in love but with angst, THEYVE GOT BOTH. GO LOOK AT THEIR STUFF (at SyrupLime on AO3 it won’t let me add the links im sorry)
end of ad
EVERYONE HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND A HAPPY RACE <33
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loscar is the dream come true ship for anyone who loves childhood friends (idiots) to lovers and red string of fate tropes actually
or if you’re a sucker for angst, a dash of unrequited love as well
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Random but don't you ever just look at Loscar and think Wait, this could be a good falling out of love trope. It could start off as Loscar being an already established relationship but like Oscar's been idolising Lando for years now. But that's what it always was, just idolising. And Loscar, they've gone through a lot, the F3 Championship fight, Oscar moving on to F2 but Logan not, Logan moving on to F2 but Oscar getting a reserve role. And maybe, during those events, maybe their relationship isn't as strong as before. And then comes the '23 season . You'd think that since they're going to be in the same series, they're gonna be as strong as ever. And they should've been. Keyword: Should've
Oh but of course, fate throws a curveball. Instead of Oscar getting the Alpine seat, he gets offered the McLaren seat. And who's in the other McLaren seat? Of course, it's Car Number Four, Lando Norris. It starts off small. Everything always does. Getting to the hotel late because of team debriefs getting overrun, not being able to make plans because Lando invited him somewhere. It really is small, but Logan… Logan knows that he's slowly losing Oscar. Oscar doesn't know it but he does. Oscar's under the impression that they're still perfect. Their relationship as right as rain. Not Logan though.
You might say, Logan, dude, you should really talk to him. Come on, communication is key in relationships. But his season so far has honestly been shit. He's under so much pressure, so much stress and to be frank, he really, really doesn't want to talk to Oscar about this. Call it cowardice, call it being scared he's overreacting or even just not wanting to be a burden to Oscar. Even so, Logan just knows in his gut. He's just a spectator in this comedy called life.
When the expected ‘talk’ happens, Oscar's honestly just shocked. What does Logan mean? Break up? But, they've been together since their F3 days, since they were teenagers. Oscar's been completely blindsided. Break up? Break up, he can't even comprehend it, can't understand it. He loves Logan, more than love itself if that was even possible. Logan looks so, so broken, he can't even look Oscar in the eyes. Oscar wants to fight, will fight for Logan. Yet, seeing Logan in this state, maybe… maybe he shouldn't fight. Maybe it'll be better for them to not be together. Oscar wasn't blind. He's seen what the season has done to Logan, how tired he always is, how his confidence has dwindled. Maybe Oscar was wrong, that it wasn't the season that was making Logan be in this state but…but him. Maybe this was what's best for Logan. And if it was best for Logan, as much as it fucking hurts him, he'll let go. Because isn't that what love is about? Letting someone go when love just isn't enough?
Logan could have probably chosen a better place to drop the news at. His driver's room isn't the best place but it could be worse. When he sees how easily Oscar agrees, his suspicions were confirmed and he's glad. No really, he's really, really happy. So happy, he won't be a burden to Oscar anymore and he'll be free.
So why is it ripping him apart, tendon from tendon, his heart squeezing so much it feels like he's got one of those blood pressure machines wrapped around his heart?
When Oscar leaves, Logan just breaks. Collapses to be exact. The adrenaline was the support keeping him up and now that the adrenaline has flooded out of his system, nothing’s holding him up anymore. Usually it'd be Oscar acting as his crutch whenever he got like this, Logan leaning on him, allowing all the weight of his burdens to be shared between the two of them. That's just it though, it won't be ‘usually’ anymore. Oscar's gone and he's never going to come back.
So Logan's just going to fall deeper into this, this hole of depression. He can't blame anyone but himself though. It's his fault, he fucked up. Can't even drive, can't even keep his boyfriend. What can he do? Oh yea, he can break up with his boyfriend. That's all he's good for, breaking things around him. His car, his relationships, his own heart. For that reason, Logan's just going to sit there, in his driver's room, curled up in a ball because this was the beginning of his end so why can't he be entitled to just…laying there.
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its another sad loscar edit for u guys sry dont blame me, blame the man that made me lose inspiration to finish that femdriver piece by ruining my whole ass power nap that i’d taken specifically to deliver another semi-angst piece 😤
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sadly this is how we end (LS2 x OP81)
oscar misses their meetup again and logan breaks down.
w/c: 1425
day 38 of LOSCAR posts until we get a loscar podium!! (series masterlist)
masterlist
TW: swearing
—
SHIT. Oscar quickly manoeuvred his way through the crowd. He can’t miss this again. He missed this for the previous two months, and rescheduled this one. He can’t believe he forgot it again.
How would Logan feel? Oscar feels like giving himself a slap across the face. His stupidity is about to ruin everything
—
Oscar laughs till his core starts to hurt. He clutches it while leaning forward.
“Mate- it’s not that funny…” Logan says, a smile forming on his face seeing Oscar absolutely lose it over a slightly funny meme.
Oscar gasps for air as he struggles to form words, “No… you… you don’t…”
“Okay Osc, breathe…” Logan says while patting Oscar’s shoulder gently.
He can’t help but smile more seeing Oscar this happy. Honestly, when he first met Oscar, he never thought that he’d ever see Oscar smile, yet alone laugh.
Oscar finally breathes in and stops laughing for a while, his cheeks are red and his eyes have tears of joy in them. He laughed really hard.
“Was it that funny?” Logan says, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes. Absolutely.” Oscar smiles while responding, clearly holding back more laughter.
“Well… I’ll keep that in mind… yea?” Logan chuckles.
This is amazing. It’s just him, Oscar and their emotions. Logan feels loved.
This will never end.
—
This will never end.
Logan sits on the bench near the beach. He holds onto a sandwich, one which he bought from the convenience store across the street. He bites into it while watching into the sunset.
He shuts his eyes tightly to prevent the tears from spilling. A sting strikes his throat as he holds it in. He stuffs part of the sandwich into his mouth in a solid attempt to stop his tears.
Osc🐨
[Logan] I'm here
[Logan] 10 missed calls
He turns off his phone and continues eating his sandwich. He picks out a few vegetables which he doesn’t like and places them into the plastic container which came with the sandwich.
It starts to drizzle, Logan sighs, picking his things up and shifting to outside the convenience store, under shelter.
“Logan!” Oscar's voice rings through.
Logan turns his head to the side and sees Oscar running over.
Logan lowers his head and stuffs the final piece of sandwich into his mouth, chewing it silently as Oscar walks over.
There’s an ache in his heart which threatens to spill out as tears.
Oscar stands next to Logan, who’s sitting on the bench.
“Logan, I’m sorry. I was so caught up in everything, I had my phone silenced. I didn’t mean to miss it.” Oscar says, almost pleading.
Logan just subtly nods and dusts his hands, standing up to face Oscar.
“Really?” He questions.
“Yea- I mean, seriously, I wouldn’t miss our meetups, you know that.”
Logan scoffs, “That’s starting to not be the case.”
Oscar hesitates.
“Sorry. I really…” Oscar sighs, “I- I know it seems really bad on me right now-”
“It does. It really does.” Logan musters out amidst his stinging throat and burning lungs.
Oscar stones, a look of surprise crosses his face, like he didn’t expect Logan to say that.
“If you don’t want to do this I’m fine with not doing this again.” Logan says, his voice sounding eerily calm.
“No- that’s totally not what I want. I really want to continue-” Oscar tries.
“Then why’d you miss it three times…” Logan’s voice cracks, “Three times you left me alone.”
Once is a mistake. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern.
Oscar freezes almost instantly, worry laced in his voice, “Logan- man, I’m seriously sorry for those times, I really had to skip them.”
“And what happened this time? Lando’s party? Another last minute meeting? Training session?” Logan knows he’s being pretty annoying right now but he can’t stop. A burning sensation fully takes over his lungs.
Logan takes a deep breath and tears brim in his eyes, which he wipes away immediately.
Thunder roars in the background. A pretty suitable backdrop for this.
“I’ll make this right. I promise Logan, I will.”
“You missed your chance to do that.” Logan grits his teeth in a last ditch attempt to not cry, “Should’ve done that months ago.”
“Logan c’mon man, you can’t just say that.” Oscar tries again, “I mean- we’ve been friends for this long- can’t just be a few times right?”
He sounds so manipulative right now.
“It isn’t just those few times Oscar.” Logan says, his fists clenching up, “It’s been too long. Every single time I needed you, you weren’t there. Every single time I asked for you, you didn’t deliver. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.”
Oscar wants to say something but nothing comes out.
Oscar takes a step closer to Logan and Logan flinches, quickly backing away.
“Logan- I’m sorry. I’m sorry, please… you know-” Oscar stutters.
“I used to know you… then you changed… everything changed.” Logan scoffs, stuffing his hands into his pockets as more tears surfacing and one of them flows down, tracing his cheek to his cheekbones.
Oscar runs his hand through his hair, his voice pleading, “We’ve been friends for years Logan, you know I won’t just throw that all away.”
“Would you though?” Logan questions which silences Oscar again, “You threw it away in seconds… seconds… when you chose something else over me. Your career over me. Your reputation over me. Everything over me.”
Logan knows how dramatic he’s sounding but he can’t take it anymore. The words just spill out his mouth, his filter disappearing and the words all coming out like a rapid fire machine, unfiltered, pure rage.
“You placed me at the very bottom of your list Oscar.” Logan’s muscles tense up, turning his head away.
“No-” Oscar replies, “No. That’s so not how I see you-”
Oscar clears his throat, “I- I mean you have always been my best friend, a priority. I’ve never seen you as anything less.”
Logan finds that harder to believe, increasingly harder as the months went on.
Logan feels all the rage in him build up, Oscar’s gaslighting him. Oscar’s trying to make Logan come back, like he’s been doing all those years, just fishing out Logan’s pity all those years.
It was a sick joke.
They used to be everything, they used to be each other’s worlds.
Then Oscar walked out.
Liar.
“Liar. You’re a liar.” Logan lashes out.
“Logan-”
“NO! No more of your bullshit. I’m done-”
Then, Logan turns around and storms off into the thunderstorm, he’s drenched but Logan refuses to look back, he doesn’t want to be lured back into Oscar’s sick mind-fuck, he doesn’t want to be Oscar’s little pity puppet.
He hears Oscar calling out for him. Logan! Logan please come back. He shuts his eyes tightly and wipes off his tears, which don’t really help since he’s wet already.
Logan quickly runs off before he changes his mind or Oscar does something.
He hates this.
He falls to his knees in the middle of an alleyway. The rain beating down mercilessly onto him.
Why can’t he ever have one good thing in his life?
Nothing ever works out.
He walks into his hotel lobby, the judgmental stares of the people around him as he trudges across the marble floor, leaving a wet trail. He gets to his room as quickly as possible.
Even the one thing he put all his hard faith into.
Logan sobs violently, bawling his eyes, all his tears spilling out.
He punches the floor and his fist turns red.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. FUCK.” Logan swears. He covers his face, his wet hair is in a disgustingly stale position and his entire body feels heavy. His legs don’t want to support his body so he stays on his knees for a while.
He feels it all crumbling down, like waves crashing against a sandcastle. That felt real, their relationship was built on sand, that would eventually fall to the elements. Was it?
Was he being too dramatic?
Logan shakes his head violently, the tears rolling down his cheeks endlessly. Anything else would be better right now, he’d even rather be in training right now. Not alone, in his hotel room, feeling trapped by the four walls.
He cries more.
He chokes on more tears.
He hates this. He hates everything. He hates Oscar. He hates himself.
He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to hate.
“fuck.” Logan whispers softly, dragging his body so he’s leaning against a wall, tucking his head in between his knees.
Wishing everything would be different.
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