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bolithesenate · 4 months
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What happens when a Jedi Initiate dies?
It cannot always be prevented, the galaxy is a dangerous place, especially for children, and the Jedi are still only mortal.
Accidents happen. Illnesses exist.
Tragedies do too.
The Crèchemasters are highly trained to prevent that, of course, but they too are only mortal. They too can fail.
The death of an Initiate is a heavy burden, for the entire Temple. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it is a heavy burden. It is from that burden that one of the Order's most sacred traditions stems from.
They may die an Initiate, but they will not join the Force without guidance.
When an Initiate dies, they automatically gain the rank of Padawan – no matter their age. They will posthumously be taken in by a Master and be gifted a braid and a lineage. If they already found their crystal and built their saber, these too will be taken care of by their new Master.
Some Masters of such Ghost-Padawans, especially those who had a bond before their passing, will live the following years as if they had a living student. They will not take on another until the Force or they themselves deems them ready, at which point the High Council will hold a honorary Knighting.
Because while the Order might lose an Initiate, no Initiate will ever be left alone.
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skellys-selfships · 16 days
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Adam x reader (gender neutral) relationship headcanons
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just sumn quick i threw together bc i love this loser <333
• 1000% has a thing for praise, wether it's hyping you up, or you boosting his MASSIVE ego
• calls you pet names like "babe", "danger tits", "sugar tits", he'll talk about your tits no matter your gender >:) "his top bitch", "sexy"
• if you call him petnames like "big guy", "my first man", "daddy" he'll just nod 'n say "fuck yeah", he knows he's the shit. call him anything cute, like "baby", "teddy bear"?? "pigeon"?? he's gonna look around the room, fumbling about, hoping no one else heard that, he likes it but you're never gonna hear that from him ;)
• he subconsciously takes you under one of his wings, you're his after all
• he'll try to deny it but he's so very jealous, please reassure him you're loyal, he needs that more than he'd EVER admit
• he LOVES to playfully pester you. walking up behind you to pinch you, mess up your hair, poke you, he gets a kick outta your reactions
• only when you've dated for a while he'll actually let you see his face, he's really defensive about it, you kinda wonder why tho. he's objectively very handsome
• when he's comfortable enough to let you see him unmasked on a regular basis, he's flop over on the couch, resting his head on your lap, if you aren't taking the hint already, he'll wiggle his eyebrows at you and smirk, this means he wants you to play with his hair
• his favorite place to be touched is between hus wings, rub his back there and he makes the most ungodly noises. if you actually react to the relieved sighs 'n groans he let's out, he'll just smirk at you, "got a fuckin' issue, or something?" he knows wtf he's doing ;)
• he shows you his appreciation of you through material things, he's abysmal with words but actually great with gifts, he's observant and wants to prove he can provide for you better than ANY other man
• he's big on PDA, he's so goddamn proud to be the most attractive couple in all of Heaven
• he's really heavy on making out, he gives no shits wether it's in public or not, when he has a need, it's hard to deny the big baby instant gratification. and he's just incredible with that gilded tongue of his too, that's a bonus :)
• grab his hair, or his horns depending on if he's wearing his mask while making out, he'll go nuts
• sleeping with Adam is actually better than Heaven itself, he's like a giant winged teddy bear, he's already very soft 'n chubby and is prone to spoon you and roll over onto you, but throw those silky soft wings into the mix....you'll never wanna get outta bed
• he loves playing music for you, the man is a complete songbird, any excuse to serenade you and flex how amazingly talented he is
• he's not perfect, Adam is a manbaby at best but he really does love you and the thought of losing another partner silently scares him shitless at times, let him know when he's doing good, because to him, you are the top dog, the best and baddest bitch around <3
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annymation · 3 months
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Readers: All these characters are going through so much trauma… It’s not fair… The protagonist is good, all the side characters are good, they deserve more than-
Writer:
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cutegirlmayra · 6 months
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Prompt: The latest battle with eggman send Amy and Sonic deep into the wilderness. Communicators broken, trackers busted, and Sonic breaks a leg leaving Amy to find them food, shelter and protect Sonic. While they rest Amy asks Sonic questions about their relationship that she's always wanted to know but too scared to ask. They talk but are discovered and Amy has to fend off the robot until Tails finds them. After they're saved Sonic has a new appreciation for Amy and is happy she's in his life.
Prompts are on shutdown EVERYWHERE, posting on my other writing sites DOES NOT mean you get your prompt done XD It’s only through here, on Tumblr, when the GRAND REOPENING is announced, which it is NOT. Thank you, lovely Cuties~ I’m sorry it’s taking so long, I’m trying to finish Fanfiction TAT
Prompt:
A spinning, spiky blue ball revs itself up in the air at a high-pitched frequency, dropping down almost with an intense sense of gracefulness as it tears seamlessly through Eggman’s latest doom’s day device.
“NOOOOOOOOO!!!” Eggman grips his head with both his massive, puffy gloves and reels his head back, “I won’t let you get away with this! Not this time, Hedgehog!” Stomping around his large ship, he slams his hand on a button which triggers a lever he pulls down, thus activating a flipping panel on the ground that looks like a car’s gas pedal which he stomps on, and in turn lowers a dangling line above his head with a triangular grip that is meant to be tugged.
Still fuming, grinding his teeth against each other, he growls and reaches up like a train conductor and pulls it, “Take this! You spiny little cretiiiinnn!!!”
With a howling roar, spit flying from his agape mouth, Eggman’s ship lowered the tip of its nose, making the haul of its stomach ‘chin-dip’ and slam down to the ground.
Sonic, still well-within the confines shredding through the ship’s interior, suddenly found his once-smooth aerial dive now wonkily swerving before turning horizontal.
As Eggman laughed, Sonic’s spin ball started creating heat and pressure… Sonic didn’t stop the rotation, but soon was slowly breaking through the hard metal one more and popped out of a hallway, moving now like a spinning-top on his side.
Eggman’s face dropped, “WHHHAATT???!!!” He slammed his hands down, looking with horror and shock at the cameras and following the image as he sweated in fear.
The Cameras zoomed in, and it showed Sonic using a single toe, perfectly placed on the tip of his foot, to keep himself spinning at such high speeds while turned on his side.
“Curse that infernal-!” Eggman smushed his face with gripping fingers, before a robot tugged on his coat and made him look down, “Hmm?” He saw the robot pull out a crowbar, and point to it.
Eggman blinked twice… before smirking wickedly to him…
When Sonic burst through the doors of the control room, balancing out his spinning top self and wobbling to try and locate what to shred into next, the tiny robot by the side of the doors, hiding from sight, swung and hit his spinning leg.
There was a crack and Sonic unspun with a dramatic pose of spiraling in the air, his eyes squinted shut in pain before Tails’s X-Tornado dived and shot through the window, making air burst into the space and–as most vacuums do–thrust Sonic out of the room and be dragged by the sky out into the open space.
“Grr… Trying to get away that easily, eh?” Thinking he had the upper hand now, even though he was kneeling on the ground and having a hand bring down his goggles from the rushing wind, Eggman still tried to sound cocky and confident.
“You there!” He pointed to the robot who was on the ground now, his hands under him, surprised that plan actually worked and jolted with a spark at being addressed, turning to his commander and sovereign Eggman. “Don’t just lay about!” He swiped his arm out, “Do something!!!”
Realizing the Doctor was putting everything onto his tiny computerized brain’s hand to hatch another genius but simple idea, the robot waddled over a bit awkwardly to the cabinet.
Delicately, he opened it and flinched at the door swinging open, then pulled tenderly out a bazooka.
“Oh, I forgot we had one of those…” Eggman’s face looked a little like a man having forgotten where he put his keys.
Cocking it, the little metal and cylinder soldier began to try and walk towards the window before the wind began to pull him out as well.
His tiny little tin legs wiggled vigorously, but his firm grip on the large firepower he was wielding didn’t budge while he spun slowly during the drop into the air.
“TINY TIMMM!!!!” Eggman cried out, holding a hand out to him, “YOU BETTER BLAST HIM WHILE YOU’RE OUT THEEERREEE!!! This isn’t a vacation, you know! You’re still on duty!!!��� He gripped that hand into a fist, showing that he was giving an order, not a moment of compassion.
The Robot, having oily tears in their eyes, realized that Eggman just gave him a name.
Even though the irony of breaking Sonic’s leg, and the christmas season didn’t quite register with the robotic soldier, he took that as a sign of promotion into Eggman’s steely, black heart and was determined to not fail him.
He turned his body toward looking to the earth, and watching to see where Sonic landed…
“Soooniiiccc!!!” Tails cried out, turning around the plane but Eggman was sure to grab at the controls and fire at him, making Tails unable to pursue Sonic’s descent. “Err..!” He squinted an eye, having to pull up. “I can’t reach him!”
“What?” Knuckles, on his communicator, looked down at it as Amy covered her mouth in alarm. “What do you mean..?” His eyes shook a second and looked up with Amy, as they each scanned the skies…
Amy then gasped, “Look!” She pointed one hand out towards the flaming blue speck in the sky, falling towards the jungle-like forest, and another on Knuckles’s shoulder to gain his attention to the detail.
“Grr..!!! That lousy-!” Knuckles shook a fist, but pulled Amy up over his head.
“W-Wah-Whaaa!!!” Amy shook out her arms, “K-Knuckles!” She wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but suddenly feeling like he was going to throw her, she summoned her Piko-Piko Hammer.
“Grrr… I can’t fly to him in time! You’ll have to reach him on your owwwnnnn…!!!” Just as her instincts had foretold, he launched her through the air and she curled, her little red and white-trimmed dressing making it look like a badminton ball flapped wildly as she spun while still keeping her dress on.
Her hammer rotated so profusely, that as her own spinball hit against the trees, bounced off the ground, or slammed against rock, it kept her momentum moving and propelling her ever closer to the falling Sonic.
Finally, soaring up with one final, hard hit to the ground, she unspun and reached for Sonic… noticing the pain in his face and braving through the flames of his burning body to catch him before a deadly fate.
She landed on a tree’s branch, but it fell and they both started to fall painfully through scratching twigs and leaves.
When Amy woke up… snow had begun to fall in the forest, and her little nose wiggled a second before her mouth wound-up twice and sneezed, pushing the small flake off.
“Emm… S-Sonic?” She rubbed her head, slowly getting herself onto her rear and sitting somewhat more upright. “That was a rough landing…” She groaned through the aches, but then gasped when she remembered, “Sonic!!!” She started to grip and throw up the leaves below her, searching frantically for him.
A bead of sweat ran down the side of her face, gritting her teeth as her eyes shook in loving worry, ‘His leg was just dangling kinda weirdly in the air, just then… Was it injured?’ She kept calling his name… to no avail.
Her chest fell and rose with cold air quickly icing her resolve, stinging at her heart already pumping with the warm adrenaline to save the man she called hero… whom she loved, dearly.
“SOOONIIICC!!!” She finally let out a single, elongated note of his familiar name…
Silence… the snowy forest…
Her breaths clung to the air like hot mist, pocketing that space before disappearing as quickly as blowing a bubble to pop. Scrambling, she got up to locate her communicator.
Pieces of the broken device were pulled out and held up to her face, making her look down as though her heart had sucken to that cold ground as well…
“No… Did I not…” Her shoulders bounced, tears unable to remain corralled in the pools of her lower eyelids. “Did I not make it in time..?”
Her hand shook with that open thought, as the pieces of metal slipped through her fingers, falling to the light snowy patches below her feet.
“Sonic…” she gripped her fists and felt herself faltering in being able to remain upright, hunching over. “Sonic…” She felt she was at blame, and slunk to her knees, freezing her even further to what could be the harsh reality of the situation…
“No… I won’t believe it.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her arm. “I… I gotta keep looking for Sonic..!” She bit her words as though to hold them fast to her heart, “Sonic…” She muttered once more, “Soooniiiccc!!” She reared herself up and began to charge about the area, searching everywhere, leaving no square foot unmarked by her own shoe’s print.
She could hear the sky battle above her head, and looked to see that Tails was still engaged with the now, downwards angle of the Eggman fleet’s main air-cruiser.
Her eyes couldn’t help but tremble, her body leaning away before her hands flung up and tightened around each arm. “I can’t… I gotta keep looking for him.” Her lips felt chapped and the cold only reminded her of the drying of her tears… before she quickly aboutfaced to keep looking for him.
Walking up a hill, treading through its piles of snow, she looked up to see the sky was now blanketed in the smoke of Eggman’s senseless war. “Guess I can’t rely on Tails or Eggman as a point-marker now.” She blinked through the chill of the wind, and sighed as she tried to figure out where she hadn’t looked.
“Could he have really been tossed from me so far..? OFFPH!” Tripping over some blue grass, she had scraped her knee and got up, shaking her head from having snow blanket it for a moment-
Blue… Grass?
Her eyes widened and she lifted her leg to see the gentle sway of the blue quills, just the tip sticking out from beneath the snow.
“SOONIICC!!!” Her heart about leaped out through her flailing to get back up, tugging on the quill and realizing it was fully stuck under the snow. She began to dig like her life depended on it, and… to a degree, he was.
“Sonic, breath! Speak! Wiggle! Do… something!” She tried to speak out before finally getting an arm and exclaiming loudly in surprised triumphant that she had gotten to him.
She tugged and began to pull him out, but he felt like dead weight.
Panic lit up her senses and now, she couldn’t feel the cold, but hoisted him up onto her back and began to run down the hill, hurrying to where they had last been, finding an open tree’s roots there and finding it a good, hollow den to at least try and wake Sonic up in.
Using the fallen leaves, she constructed a small bed for him, laying him down as saw that one of his legs fully detached from the bone.
She covered her mouth, “Oh no…” The pain must have knocked him out… he was probably passed out from the wind blasting by him on his fall anyway…
She gently touched the burnt ends of his quills and fur… Her eyes bunching up as though unable to see him in such a state.
“Oh, Sonic…” She brought his head up and tried to warm him, blowing lightly warm air out of her throat to his face.
“Please, Sonic… You have to at least show me you’ll be alright…”
After a while, Sonic woke up to find his leg was perfectly straightened by two twigs, and someone had put it back in it’s socket… “Ah… Glad I was asleep for that.” He twitched at the pain but tried to move to turn around. However, it was too much for the poor hedgehog, having endured firepower beyond normal mortal means, he couldn’t possibly stand for the fiery pain of a severely broken leg.
“Gahh…” He tried to lean up, “Who… Where am I?” He noticed a fire was burning, and looked strangely at the comforting glow, realizing he wasn’t alone.
“Tails?” He first questioned the thought, ‘But then… he’d just take me back in the X-Tornado… I’d be having warm soup by now…’ He squinted one eye down and finally was sitting upright, being careful to not move the lame leg, “Knuckles?” It was reasonable, but that echidna wouldn’t be foraging for berries or anything. He’d imagine Knuckles would have sat by the fire, the earth too hard to dig through during the winter seasons…
So that meant…
“Amy?” He raised an eyebrow, as though second-guessing that before hearing a bright voice exclaim in joy at hearing her name being called.
“Oh! Sonic! You’re awake!”
Waiting a moment, he smiled as Amy came rushing in, holding more firewood that she quickly just dumped to the side, some catching fire but she didn’t care at the moment. “SOONIICC!!! I was so worried about you!” she hugged him which made him have to hold back a cry, his banded leg with two sticks keeping it from twisting and turning further only moved slightly from Amy’s tackling hug.
She was warm, though… and her voice filled him with ease.
He hugged her back, “Thank you.” He calmly stated, “But what happened?” He looked to her face, then outside to the rain of explosions that sounded in the blurry, clouded sky… “Is that… smoke?”
“Em.” Amy nodded, letting him go and tilting her body in the same direction as the sounds, “The communicator broke on our fall, I don’t know how long Tails has been fighting in the air, but I’m pretty sure Eggman and our friends have lost sight of where he landed.” She lowered her shoulders a bit, then rotated one around to stretch it. “Hoo…”
“Amy? You okay?” He noticed she looked a little worse for wear as well, “You’re stone cold to the touch.” He placed a glove to her arm before reflexing off of it, then placing it there again. “How long were you out there..?”
She smiled, glad he couldn’t recollect how close to death he was while in the cold of the soggy snow he was buried under moments before.
“It’s nothing~” She chimed, “I’m a tough girl, as well as cute, after all!” She put her hands to the sides of her cheeks, trying to get him to not worry about her so much.
“I think we should probably move when the smoke rolls out… or when the gunfire finally stops.” She admitted, looking to the skies again and dropping her hands to her knees.
Sonic later asked her about how she got to him, and she explained the whole story… eeexcept the part about him almost suffocating under snow.
They talked and ate some of the wild onion grass she had collected, finding not a scrap left on the trees or bushes, figuring the other little critters had stored up for the coming winter anyway.
Not really liking the taste of it, Sonic just tried to see if he could hop on one leg, but Amy refused to let him go out to fight again.
Reluctantly, Sonic decided it was only polite to thank his brave rescuer by waiting it out.
But all the while… they worried about their friends well-beings… as the canons kept going off relentlessly.
“... You think they’re winning?” Amy asked, “Or… Eggman is at least… missing?” She flinched as a large blast seemed to hit the ground a couple long miles away from them.
Sonic, with his hands behind his head, and a blade of onion grass sticking out of his mouth, took a frustrated breath in and sighed out just as quickly. “We can’t hide out here forever, Amy… My leg isn’t gonna heal that quickly.” He tried to reason with her, and she knew that was probably right… but…
“Just… a little longer… let’s believe in Tails and Knuckles… to solve this on their own, okay?” She looked back with a forced smile, her hand gripping her heart. “Seeing you like this… it makes me… unable to let you go… right now.” She admitted, lowering her head and not having the courage to look at him in shame.
He eyed her with a turn of his gaze, not moving his head, before closing his eyes and not saying anything more about it.
The wind howled… before a foot fall was heard and Amy perked up, her ears twitched and she rushed out from the intertwined roots, “Knuckles!?” She exclaimed, more than expecting to see he had found them… before…
“... Sonic! Roll! Now!” She threw herself back to him as he looked to see a large missile fired into the hole.
Crying out in pain, he rolled as the blast sent the two flying to the back of the hollow tree.
Amy picked up Sonic’s spiky spinball, “Don’t uncurl! Whatever you do!” She cried out, as Sonic also–through immense pain–called her name but she was already grabbing a stick from the fire, the rest of the roots on fire from the blast anyway, and charged out of the large space.
She gasped as she noticed a small Eggman Robot, cocking the bazooka which had smoke slithering out of its mouth.
“You…” Amy’s eyes narrowed, her anger giving her the needed heat throughout her body, ready to fight.
“He’s already injured! Leave us alone!” She shouted out, but Sonic couldn’t help and voice his concerns as well.
“Amy! Your back!” She could feel something cool drip down in different areas from her exposed back… but it was already frostbitten and she didn’t dare think about what he was referring to.
“I’m fine. You just stay put and in your ball, Sonic.” She breathed through the pain that was now burning from her back.
However… this sting was like when she first lost Sonic, it moved her forward, adrenaline coursing through her like Sonic moving through a winding course.
Amy set Sonic down, “Amy!” he cried out again, moving in wobbly attempts to ‘roll’ after her as she stepped up to bat.
“It’s okay, I’m your strength too, Sonic!” She pulled the hammer up behind her shoulders, “Ready…” she narrowed her eyes, skidding a foot forward as though truly a baseball pro up for bat.
Sonic tilted his rolled body against her other, back leg, “Amy…” He couldn’t argue with that.
“... Aren’t I..?”
Uncurling, Sonic groaned out as the leg–the wooden beams now snapped and bent–was forced back into a straight position. His own problems meant nothing to him right now, though.
He looked up at Amy, seeing the wavering belief in her eyes, remembering that for a moment… she may have been the ultimate end for Sonic The Hedgehog…
Her memory went back to having no sign of him… and that haunted her… Was she really able to be there for Sonic… the way he was always there for her?
A shadow rose to meet her own on the ground, lightly shaded, as the clouds of smog were starting to clear out.
She gasped, looking down to see Sonic’s silhouette was on one leg, his arms then trailing up to her own around her hammer.
She could feel the warm and comforting breath he spoke by her cheek, telling her to wait on his signal.
The robot fumbled a little getting the bazooka back in order, but then went to fire.
“... Now.” Sonic’s voice was light, but his grip held stronger around her hand.
She swung with everything she had while Sonic fell back to the ground, unable to hold himself up much longer due to the crippling pain.
The missile fired but Amy heard Sonic say, “Now let go!!!!” In a ripping sound that shredded through her heartstrings… realizing how much he was suffering, but how that simple act showed her that he did trust in his friends–especially her in this moment–to get through it.
She let the hammer go and balanced herself, her dress spinning to one side of her body before the hammer’s top plugged and jammed itself into the firing bazooka.
The Robot made computerized noises of horror before exploding along with the gun.
Sonic and Amy fell by each other’s side in the blast, and Amy gripped onto Sonic.
In the cold of falling snow… the two breathed through great pain…
Shared pain… as Sonic’s and Amy’s eyes looked up to each other’s… and a smile greater than pain emerged upon both their faces.
“We… erk… did it.” Amy’s back jerked from the tortuous mix of frost and burn mingling upon its bare skin…
“No, Amy.” Sonic also couldn’t keep both eyes opened, but squinted one. His charming smile never faded though, “You did it… You’ve always got my back.” He gritted his teeth, but tried to make it look like a bright smile. “Thank you… again… A-Amy…”
Knuckles soon found them, Tails flew them home, and they ended up resting on opposite couches from each other.
While she read the insisted book about King Arther, the one Sonic kept trying to convince her had happened to him being pulled into it, making him miss one of their planned dates, he also reached over and held her hand, pretending to fall asleep.
She smiled as she read more of the book… wondering all the while…
“... Sonic?”
She knew he wouldn’t answer.
“If I am your strength… why do I feel like… I’m not?” She put the book down over her chest, turning to the couch’s spine to avoid looking over to him. “If I was your strength… I wouldn’t have shut you into that tree hole den… I would have trusted that I could get you out of there… carry you to safety, and reunite with Tails and Knuckles again to save the day.”
While she spoke, Sonic pretended to be asleep, but listened closely.
“... Then… When you braved the pain of your leg to stand beside me..? I knew then… that while you were down, so was my strength.” She teared up, “But when you got up…” Her voice began to wane and take on a higher tune, as she wiped her eyes with the back of her glove. Her lips trembled, but she continued, “I… I need you more than I think you need me, Sonic… And that… That worries me.” She sniffled, “Cause… Cause what if I’m needy? What if… without you… I’m nothing short of a useless girl?”
Sonic made a loud snore, then. It cut her off as she said ‘useless’.
She turned to see his head straight up at the ceiling, his mouth open wide,... “Ammmy…” He lightly spoke, as though asleep. “Ammmyyy…” His hand acted as though reaching for her hand, but it was already there…
That’s when she noticed, her grip on his hand had slipped somewhat, and she held it tightly but gently once more.
Sonic’s breathing went back to normal… and Amy smiled till her cheeks hurt.
“Oh, Sonic…” She giggled through her light tears and wiped them all away this time. “Even if I don’t understand what strength I give you… Just knowing… that together, we’re stronger? That’s enough for me… Cause right now, you getting better is all I care about.” She sighed and went back to the book.
She gasped when she looked at her hand and saw Sonic had tugged it closer.
“A-ah… Ow, ow, Sonic!” He was dragging her off the other couch. “Sonic! Ow! I’ll fall!”
He started to turn, as though in his sleep, snoring again and making Amy stumble out of the couch as he wrapped her arm around his waist.
She pouted a cute blush, but then sighed, “I know you’re not asleep, silly… Your actual snore is totally different.” She gave in, moving her bandaged self to lift up his head and place him on her lap, patting his shoulder and humming a tune.
Sonic closed his mouth, the jig was up, and he just smiled as she tried to actually lull him to sleep.
Though he had to let go of her hand for her to do that, he reached under his body to get at the hand that was resting just by his neck… and she smiled at how sweet that was…
“... You are my strength, Sonic.” She leaned down, continuing to hum.
When she had actually fallen to sleep, Sonic placed her laying on the couch he was momentarily on, replacing her, and before hopping to the other one, placed a hand on her head and lightly whispered, “You’re more than my strength, Amy… You're my whole heart, entirely.”
In the morning, Amy woke up to find Tails in a tissy, worried sick as Sonic had somehow miraculous snuck out of his workshop home and was nowhere to be found.
A moment of panic did course through Amy, before thinking to herself, ‘... If he’s strong again, then I’ll be strong too.’ and went back to not worrying about him… resting… as she smiled at feeling secure again in that–as long as Sonic was up and about, she’d be pretty soon as well!
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tuttocenere · 1 month
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Inspired by that Martin Guerre false identity post that has been going around, I wrote a story about Leporello and put it on the internet:
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Leporello: Bad Ending. 1500 words. Please enjoy.
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ziracona · 7 months
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Playing OWB, I always knock out lobotomites because they're victims, instead of kill them. Which sucks, because I only have boxing tape on me. It ain't easy :'-) but I've had several weird what must be glitch encounters with ones that are marked hostile but quit attacking now, and my experiences got me thinking about story stuff in OWB, so a little piece from the POV of a lobotomite experiencing my Courier 6. Which is a very interesting and fragmented pov to write, but I liked doing something very different.
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I see something leaving the big house.
They come one by one usually, the ones not like us. They hurt us. Always.
Everything here hurts.
So, we kill them. We stop them.
One of us makes a sound in his throat, nods towards the shape. We’re all alert with the sound, turn to look. Take out weapons.
I draw my gun. My fingers know the trigger. Know the barrel like it’s another finger. I aim at the shape. It walks towards us and pauses at the top of the stairs, sees us see it. Takes a step back.
Good. Maybe an easy fight for us then.
The man who pointed the figure out charges, drawing his spear. Another of us runs with him, saturnite fist ready. I stay back behind, and shoot.
I hit it. I see my bullet clip the shoulder. The thing cries out and falls back a step. Somehow, not hurt bad. Armor, I guess. We don’t have it. I have the dress they give at a hospital. I don’t remember what I had before.
It makes me angry, so I walk closer, keep shooting.
My companions reach it, and I see them fighting. I see the figure has a gun on their hip, a spear at their back. But, they don’t draw the gun. No bullets maybe? They hit, bare fists. Pound, pound, pound. Crack, crack, crack.
Cuts open up on them, along their face and body, their back, their hands. They jam something into their side and fall back a step, and I see cuts close like magic. They’re afraid though. Eyes big. Surely, just fists against us, we must win.
But we don’t. It fights fast, hard, and above all, with stamina. It won’t go down. Heals itself again and again somehow, and hits and hits until the leader goes down. I feel a pang of fear. The second goes down a few seconds later, a fast upper-cut from this things. Then it turns to me.
I feel real fear. But. Surely. I must win, against this? A human. Wrapped fists. Nothing else.
It meets my eyes, and I see determination. It rushes me.
Panic. I fire, I fire, I fire. I know I hit it. A bullet even grazes its head. But then it’s on me, and a fist finds my face.
Pain. Hurts, bad. I lose strength from it. I keep trying to shoot, and I hit it, even so close, but it hits me too. Crack, Crack, Crack.
I feel myself breaking down. It gets me in the head, and I’m gone.
I think ‘I have died?’
Fear.
Then I’m gone.
Only. I’m…not?
I…wake up.
Not sure when. …Later. It’s gone now.
I sit up, head aches, confused. Why? Must have thought I was dead, I guess. But, I reach for my gun. It’s gone. Stolen. But everything else is here. My cloth I wear, my head strap I can’t get off, the lighter I picked up. And…an apple?
Confused more, I feel it in the gown pocket, take it out.
Fresh. Fresh apple. Smells…good? I take a bite, because I am hungry. It tastes good too.
Amazing. Usually all I eat is meat from something killed, or maybe old spoils found. Stale chip, can of beans, or if very lucky, these cakes of falling apart breads with sugars in tiny boxes. This is fresh, like it’s not old at all. Pretty, bright red.
I eat it all. Around me, I see the other two get up too. Alive. One takes out a pear. Confused too. I think about fighting him for the pear, but I haven’t finished my apple, and he eats the pear by the time I do. The other has an apple too. We eat. We move on.
-
I see the human again, same day maybe. Later. Far away from the big dome now. It’s leaving one of the smaller houses, full of horrible things. I see it from a distance and don’t know it’s the same one. Just hear fighting. I’m with different members of the group, and they run off. I follow. We see the figure fighting off the snakedogs. It has a big fist, like a saturnite fist, but bigger. It’s punching off their heads. I don’t recognize it. Just the saturnite fist weapon, and that it isn’t one of us. I draw my gun, and start shooting. The other two rush in, hoping to get to it while some of the snakedogs are up, so it will be more overwhelmed.
It sees us coming. I watch its head snap up. See panic through the visor I can’t take off. It hurries to turn, punch a snakedog. The head comes off. Last one. Turns to face the others of my group as they reach it, and I see it let go of the fist. Drop the big, powerful thing on the ground, and swing an empty fist at the one of us with a flaming sword.
Then I recognize it. I think ‘So strange. Lost its good weapon?’ and I remember. I remember, from this morning, and I see it closer and see it has the same long blue coat on, red hat.
I am not mad by the armor this time. I am confused. Curious. Still nervous too. Have to kill it before it kills us. I shoot, watching, to see how it heals. See if it can walk off bullets more. See if it keeps hitting.
It does. Keeps taking out little white…things. Like scissors. Some of me thinks ‘that’s a heal’ but what that means? I don’t know. It is a heal though. Makes flaming knife cuts go away. Good for it, because it takes punishment I couldn’t believe. Hits back with little wrapped fists. Crack, crack, crack. Hit, hit, hit. I hear, I see. I watch my people go down.
I hesitate as it turns, bloody, and rushes me again, breathing hard. I remember to keep firing. It knocks the gun out of my hand and I look down in surprise. Blink. It hits me. I hit back. Panic now. Remember it will kill me. Hit, hit, hit, but it hits harder. I go out.
I think, ‘I died.’
But, I wake up. Again. Before me, the other two are already up. Starting to stand, and looking for weapons gone now. I look for my new gun, sad. Know the thing took it again. It did. But there’s an apple. Fresh. My pocket, again. Pink apple this time. I hold it and smell it. Think ‘where it gets the apples?’ And eat it.
So good. Even better than red apple.
The others have things too. The knife companion takes out a drink. Fights a while before biting off the cap, and drinks it. I am very jealous. Almost jump him for it. Too busy thinking. Other has apple too.
I think hard.
Wonder.
-
I see it again, going to find a new gun. On my way out, I hear guns, and I follow, careful. Haven’t got new gun for me yet. Very hard like that to stay alive.
But, there it is. Blue coat, bright red hat. Tall. I see it shooting snake dogs again. Shooting the skeletons in the suits that help us sometimes. A dog with robot legs jumps it, and it punches that one. Interesting. I am curious.
Once it leaves, I sneak up, look at the dog.
No apples…
I keep following.
I see some of us attack it soon. Another group. I think about helping, but, I want apples. I don’t want to get hit again, though. So, this is my idea.
It hits them, like it hit me. It gets hurt, bad, doing it. But keeps healing. Keeps hitting. And, it wins.
After, it breathes hard. I hear it talking to itself. Sounds like a woman, maybe. Not close enough to hear it well. It spotted me once, so I’m careful now. Still no new gun, you know? Got to be careful.
I sneak little closer though. Watch.
It puts its big saturnite but bigger fist back on, wipes blood off forehead. Walks over to the unconscious bodies it fought, and I see it take their guns, their spears. Leaves bugglegum, leaves a drink, leaves a pear. An apple.
After trading food for gun or knife, it goes on. Once it’s gone on enough, I sneak over. I pick up the stuff it left. I take the gum and put it in my gown pocket. I eat the pear. I open the drink and it hurts my teeth, but it’s worth it. So good! A part of me tastes it, and I want to..cry?
Confused, I stop walking. Look down at it. Drink a little more.
I think ‘sarsaparilla,’ but, I don’t know what sarsaparilla is. Something in me very desperate asks me to know, but I don’t remember. It’s a brown word, and a sweet word. Spicy. A tree? I try, but I know I am wrong. I sit, hold the drink. Drink it slow between two rocks, hidden safe in a shadow. Hold sarsaparilla. There is a word on the bottle. Can’t read it, but I trace it with finger. Think. Girl on the bottle—picture. I almost remember something, but…
It hurts too much. Can’t. Put head in hands, breathe. Pain goes away. I keep drinking. In head, I see a picture of a tree that isn’t there. I sit beneath it in my head. I drink this in my head too, but a different one. It’s a good feeling, but, sad.
I don’t understand why.
Tree smells. Like…sarsaparilla? Brain says ‘pine.’ Not sarsaparilla. But I can’t remember ‘pine.’ Good word. Green word.
I get up.
I keep the apple. I hold it in pocket, and take out to smell. But don’t eat. Saving it. Save the bottle too, to smell. Smells like sarsaparilla and thinking about green pine words.
I chew the gun thoughtful, and try to find blue coat again.
I find her pretty slow this time. So fast! Unbelievable. All the way across the empty, she is sneaking. I run into her—almost for real. See her slide against a wall and hold breath when I almost step on her. I don’t want punched unconscious again. Too much hurt, even for apple. Besides. I have apple. If she sees it, what if she doesn’t leave new one too? So I pretend not to see. Keep walking.
Mutter, like she did alone.
She buys it.
Very proud, I walk around a ways, then sneak back.
Hah!
Worked. Very, very well. She is sneaking off towards the big robots. NO clue I sneak after!
Hmmm…Big robots…
I am nervous. Those will shoot me. I got new gun off a box, but not great gun. Big robots sometimes shoot missiles. Besides, she won’t leave apple on big robots, so nothing to get.
Still, I follow. Too interested now.
I see her checking out already dead robot, poking at stuff. Hm. Closer, I see her wipe forehead, and past bangs, she has head marks almost like mine. But, not one of us… We would be able to tell. Can always tell.  And, she doesn’t act like…? Must be wrong?
Hm.
Some of us hear her poking around. I pull back, and watch her fight in fascination. Some of the big robots hear the commotion as she hits my people off her, and they come running too. Uh-oh, I think, because they will shoot right through us. To surprise, I see her panic too. She looks ‘uh-oh’ at them, and shoves one of us off her. She snags gun off her shoulder, big, long rifle, and shoots a robot. It falls, but two more come. I see one of us take bullets from it and stumble back. She sees too, runs towards the shot man, and moves between him and robot. I see her get shot. She takes it like she does, and shoots the robot twice. It falls. One left. But she pauses, to look back at the man. He’s alive. Confused. And hitting her with his saturnite fist. She grimaces, falls forward, misses a shot at robot, and ignores him. Shoots robot. All three of my kind attacking her are still up, and one shoots her, knocks off aim.
Uh-oh, I think, more worry in the uh-oh. She is not doing as well.
Still, she ignores the man shooting her. Takes shot at robot, using free hand to block a hit from the spear the last member of their group has. Robot goes down this time.
Bloody and relieved, she turns, frantically starts hitting them. Amazed, I watch. She takes down all three.
Bloody, barely able to stand, she huffs. Grabs a chunk of broken concrete, and slides to ground against it. Sits there, tilts head back.
“This is the worst,” she says mournful.
Tired, she raises her wrist. What I thought was another, broken saturnite fist is on her left arm. She raises it. Taps it. I hear sound come out of it. Songing.
I remember…this sound.
Been…I think a long time.
Woman’s voice, but not her, plays from the arm. Says words my ears don’t know anymore. But, says not many words. I like that. Same words keep being said. ‘Night.’ ‘Your.’ ‘We.’ ‘Where.’ ‘When.’ ‘Begin.’
I don’t remember ‘night.’ Don’t remember ‘begin.’ Don’t remember…’when, where.’ I remember ‘we.’ We is…me, plus someone else. Me and someone.
I am proud; I remember.
I never remember.
But I know ‘We.’
She has no we though, unless it is the woman with song in her wrist. Many of us, just one of her.
I listen to the song too. She sings with it, quiet, just a few words. Just the last words, holding the last one long, much longer than the song. She turns off the thing on her wrist, but holds the song word. Then sighs, lets it go.
Stands alone, looks at the bodies.
Odd expression on her face. I wonder with a strange chest feeling, from where I hide in shadows, if she will get angry and crush them under her feet.
She does not.
Takes their weapons, slower than before, wincing as she stoops. Leaves a drink, leaves a cake box, leaves an apple.
-
I follow her for the next two days.
Sometimes, I lose her. She will go in a building, and I will not do that. Too many monsters. She maybe can be shot 400 times. I die if shot 400 times. I do not want a plant to eat me. I do not want to be explosion’d by robot.
Sometimes, she is just so fast, I lose her.
But, she is very loud. Thankful for that. Never lose her for too long.
I eat a lot of delicious apples.
Always keep one on me, too, to look at. To smell.
If I find the drink that smells like green word ‘pine’ and the brown word thought ‘sarsaparilla,’ I drink it, and keep the bottle to smell, replace the last with it.
She does the same thing, always. Will kill snakedogs. Kill robots, kill suits with skeletons, kill scorpions, kill bugs. Kills robot dog if scared. Never kills us.
Don’t know why. Won’t, though. Always takes weapons, always knocks out with wrapped fists, always leaves a little gift.
I don’t know if the gift is trade, or maybe, I think, ‘sorry’? Can’t remember what it means, but it makes sense. It thinks in my head like ‘backing off’ a little maybe. It seems right?
I don’t know for sure. I keep following. Sometimes, if she thinks she is alone, she turns on the song. It is not always that song, but that song she hears the most. It’s the best, because the others are too fast with too much words. That one is slow, very few words, very short, and a word I know. I like to hear it.
A couple times, she spots me, and I have to run away. She doesn’t chase if I do, though, so no more punching. Good, because head still hurts a little from before. Girl punches hard…
Day two, late, she sees me and I run and she calls out. I keep running till I’m far, and check to see if she is watching. She is. Standing still, staring at me. I pause. She crouches, puts out her hands, palms to me. No weapon. I know her fists are weapons though. Very painful.
I watch still, interested. Look back. She calls again, soft. Motions towards herself.
I think she is trying to lure me back.
Too smart, I don’t do that. I keep running, hide.
Sneak back after a few minutes, from a side. Still, she is watching where I went, head tilted.
Strange look on her face. Sad and not sad at same time.
I think about that.
-
Third day.
I see her fight many things.
Robot scorpions (10), many of us (many), big robots (4), different kind of big robot (2), skeleton suits (forgot to count), green plant monster (2, very bad), snakedog (18 maybe).
Good day for me. Lots of food. Found a glowing drink. Maybe saw god after drinking it. Was funny again for a minute too.
Felt very happy.
I like following her. Very interesting to do. Different. I forgot about different. Different is not very safe, but is other things. Like full of food.
She is doing better. Avoids places with big robots mostly now. Sneaks more. Walks on the big pipes a lot, which makes harder to follow her because if I do, she sees me and have to hide. Still, I am better at following now too. Getting pretty skilled.
And then, she gets too close to us.
I don’t realize, because I watch her, not where she goes. But we get close to the cave. To home cave.
I don’t realize, until one of us runs past and sees me, and calls to me a sound I know. ‘Again!’ A call to fight. One of the words we remember.
I stand up automatic at the sound, then blink, see more and more of us. Not just from by me, from past too. Maybe eleven, twelve? So many. She was looking at a box, but hears us coming. Looks up and sees. Tries to run.
She can’t get past. Too many come in from the left side of the big rocks now, and there is nowhere up on the rocks to go. She doesn’t see how many are on my side yet. Starts trying to fight. We push her into a corner. I don’t realize I’ve followed until I’m at the edge of the group, watching up close as she punches one of us unconscious like before.
I am waiting for her to win and waiting for her to die. Different parts of memory both sure of outcome.
I feel nothing.
Just far far away.
Then I am shoved forward. I am close to her, watching. Right on her.
She is scared. Hits me. I fall back, surprised. Two jump her from behind with knives.
I see her heal herself, but too many of us from too many angles at once. We are winning for once.
She tries to push through and run.
Almost makes it, but one of us catches her on fire. Loses sight in the fire, loses footing. Falls. Snaps an ankle when she hits rock below. We go after her like a wave.
I think ‘she is going to die now,’ without anything beyond thought. Then I think ‘I can take all the apples off her if she dies.’
But. I don’t want them that way.
I am sure they will not taste so good if I take them off her pockets.
I am suddenly very frustrated.
If they kill her, the apples won’t be the same at all.
I push forward, push past.
They don’t fight me. We are all fighting her.
I see her struggling. Made it up to one foot. I see the gun at her hip. I see the bigger than a saturnite fist on her belt. I see the spear on her back. Still, she hits with fists. She got some of us, unconscious. But we are still five, and she is trying to heal as I get close.  Jams the little white thing into her side as I reach her. One of the others hits her so hard, he knocks it out of her side, and she cries out. Not a sound like the song. I realize she is about to go down.
She sees me.
I hit her.
She falls, covered in blood from guns and knives and bruises from fists.
I go down on top of her.
The others make sounds. Want to see what she has too. I growl at them and snap, and they back off. They are all hurt from her punches, but she only hit me once. I have my gun.
I look back down at her as they back away, lose their interest.
I try to remember death and unconscious, the way to tell. Heart tells. Heartbeat.
I pick her up from shoulders, put my ear to chest, listen. There is a sound. Brain doesn’t think heartbeat sound, but what other sound in chest is there? Doesn’t matter, I think, because sound is alive. Dead is quiet.
That seems sure to me, so, relieved, I pick up the blue coat woman, and put her over a shoulder.
We are by my home, so I turn. The others ignore me now. I claimed the body, it’s mine. We bring meat home. We bring findings. We bring anything we want.
I pass into the cave, past the graves we put outside, past some of the things we keep. Past a few of the others inside, with their own beds and memories, and special things like my apple and my bottle, but not as good.
Keep walking, far in. Find my little bed. Raised bed, like a table, but soft. I think it was for hospital once, like my cloth I wear. I tap the dolls I hung from the post by the bed. It’s nice to be home.
Set her body on the bed table. Put ear to the chest again to be sure, but it makes its not quite heartbeat sound.
Good, I think, You are alive.
That’s alright then. She will get back up and leave apples. We keep going like before. All will be good.
I felt nervous, but now I feel okay.
Still, after a few minutes, she is still quiet. I listen several times. Chest sound is going. The blood from cuts stopped, but she is not waking up fast.
With time, I get curious. Poke around a little. Don’t go through pockets, because I don’t want to know how many apples. But I remember the marks I saw once, and I push back her hair.
I am right. There are cuts around her head too. I feel for my own. Mine still hurt. She has them, like all of us, and I am excited, then confused. If…she is one of us, why can’t we tell? Why we kill her? Why she fights us? I’m not remembering. We can just tell, with each other, if they are us. She is not. Not sure how I know. But I don’t know why now.
She has our marks though, I think, confused again. Marks, but not us. Strange.
Maybe she is broken.
I can’t remember where we got marks. I try, and shudder. My head says ‘don’t look.’ It scares me. Like the answer will kill me if I look behind the corner to see it. I quit looking.
Instead, I trace the marks on her head.
She makes a sound of pain, and scrunches her face. Her eyes open. She blinks, squints, finds me above her. I tilt my head, forget to be scared of punches. Relieved it didn’t take so long to not be dead.
Behind me, I hear an angry hiss.
I turn, and to surprise, there is one of the others. He gets close, trying to look past me. Sees the girl, and snaps at me. Anger, alarm. Pushes past.
I realize to surprise he is going to grab her.
“No!” I hiss back. Grab his arm, drag him hard to the side and shove back.
He falls, and drags himself up, angry. Others hear, come towards us. See her, start to hiss and shout. Start to try to get her too. I swing at the first who comes, and hit hard with body of my gun.
“Stop you!” I warn in a growl.
She is MINE! Why are they -?!
They do not stop. They come again, try to get at her. Hiss, growl, call out. I shove one, hit another.
“Stop you!” I shout louder. Behind me, I hear the girl move. Look, and see her trying to sit up.
I worry she will hit me too.
A gun crack. I turn, see one of us with a rifle. Look back, worried, as I hear her cry. She is holding an arm. New, fresh blood. No, no, no! She was so close to dead. More hits, she dies! No more anything!
Enraged, I raise my own gun. She will not kill us. I will. I shoot him.
I hit.
The others attack me then.
I shoot, I hit, and I don’t remember. Something gets me, hard, in the head, then another.
I go down.
I think very angry, very sad, it is not fair. Can’t remember why this is cruel. It is not right though. It’s…it’s….
Gone then.
I am sure I am dead this time.
-
But, I wake.
I think, fuzzy, ‘maybe a new apple.’ Feel relief.
Everything hurt.
But, something is good too. …The ground is good. I used to know it. It feels familiar. Like I could sleep here forever maybe.
I try and open my eyes, because that seems okay.
It’s harder than I think. Eyes feel heavy, tired. Head is wrong…er, than usual. Not sure why. Everything is fuzzying, like I am dying from no water, but in a way that feels warm and good. Like dying, if I liked it.
There is light, and as eyes start to work, I see blue coat looking down at me.
I am not so worried, because I know she will just hit me and leave an apple if she notices I am not dead.
I decide that is okay. Watch, stunted, as she moves. She sees me see her then. Stops fiddling with this thing above me, and turns to face.
“Hey,” her voice is soft, like water when I am hot in the sun, cools me, “You’re okay. Just hold still, okay? I’m not gonna hurt you.”
I don’t know the words. I think ‘you’ maybe is me. But not the rest. It feels familiar though. She doesn’t talk like she will bite. I am too fuzzy to care. Just blink eyes heavy, watch her. Something is stuck in my arm I notice, and I wonder if that will hurt me, but it’s hard to feel worried. Hard to feel anything but fuzzy.
“Can’t you do anything?” she asks something behind her.
I don’t know those words. I thought ‘you’ was me. But, she is not looking now.
“Not without a brain,” comes a new voice.
I do feel panic then. She will hit and leave an apple. Anything else kills me.
I struggle to sit up so I can fight or run away.
 So hard to do, and that scares me more.
“No no!” she calls, and I know that word. Not a good one. “Hey, easy,” she says, catching me with her hands and trying to push me back down, “Just calm down.”
Her voice is soft, but I am very scared. I struggle back, trying to see the other voice. I see no one, and that is bad. Could be anywhere.
The blue coat lets go with one hand and taps the thing stuck in my arm quickly. I suddenly feel calmer, almost like I might throw up, but so fuzzy I want to shut my eyes. I try to struggle, but I forget why as the fuzziness gets heavier. After a few seconds, the blue coat’s hand lifts carefully off my chest. I can’t remember why I was getting up before, so I lay still. It seems better there.
“Look,” she says, glancing behind her again, “I will GET you a brain—the right one! But there has to be something in the meantime. He’s not brain dead! He doesn’t act routine. His pockets are full of stuff I’ve left behind. He’s been following me. They all keep keepsakes around. They’re not brain dead, not totally. The connection must at least be marginally existent for them!”
“I can’t help you without his brain,” says the same man voice before. Still, I see nobody. That seems worrying still, but not enough to move for now.
“What about you?” asks the blue coat in frustration, turning in another direction, “Switch—lights!” she adds, sounding excited, “Smart lights!”
“Oh, good idea sweetie!” comes another girl voice. Not the wrist voice, and not blue coat.
Lights switch on around me then, bright, blinding, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
And feel.
Oh my god.
Despair, and horror, revulsion, and agony, hate, terror. I am filled. I can’t speak. I can barely think and stay alive.
I remember. Things I can’t usually understand.
There was a robot. Arms and knives, whirring saws. I was held down, screaming. I remember the vices, the grips. I remember the scoop, ripping out my brain. Metal pieces screwed into my skull.
No, I think. Praying for the understanding to go away.
It stays. It plays and replays. I see other lobotomized people, I see memories of killing. Eating raw meat. Animal. Not a person anymore. Not anything.
I am shaking. I can almost remember. Half remember words, half remember feelings and thoughts. Half remember people. I know I loved them, but I can’t remember what they were, I can’t remember their faces. I see them, then forget them immediately.
I can’t remember my face. I can’t remember my name.
I remember the snapping of greymatter as my brain went out.
I remember things…I remember pieces of things.
I remember the pine tree and pine is a word, not the color green, but I can’t remember what it looked like anymore. Why I loved it.
I don’t know who I am.
“I…I’m already dead,” I whisper. I find words again, and those are them. I feel myself remember how to cry, and I do, because I feel too much despair and terror to keep inside. I have to get it out. I would eject it any way I can.
This is a person, above me. I know that now.
I see her. Try to ask for her to help me, but I don’t know how to fix me. I don’t know what to ask. I don’t know how to explain.
I try, to find the words. ‘My brain,’ I think, ‘please.’
But I can’t. I can’t find the words I think, not as words I can remember to speak. I know what happened, but human words are gone.
I’m dead. I’m a corpse.
“It’s okay,” says the blue coat woman. I see worry in her face. Her hand touches my shoulder.
I spasm with my shaking.
Terror in me, I realize the clarity I have can go away.
I lose my sanity completely.
Terrified, I find motor control and reach a hand to her and grab her arm. “Help me.”
I find words. “Help me help me help me!” I beg. Find the arm with my other hand, cling to her. Try to drag myself up to her and hold on tighter, afraid now she will leave me to be dead again. That she will turn off whatever she turned on to raise me from my grave. “Please please please! Please help me! Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me, please, please, please help me! Please help! Help me!”
I am sobbing. She is answering me, but I don’t hear it past my wails for several tries.
“I’ll help you, it’s okay! I’m going to fix you—I’ll fix you! I’ll help you,” she calls back, and I don’t know the words.
I can only think ‘Help me’—don’t forget don’t forget the words oh please please don’t forget don’t lose them they’re the only words I know to save me. I keep using them. ‘Help me help me help me.’ I am trying to climb up her arms and dig my fingers into her spine so she can’t be rid of me. So I won’t die in the cracks of the ground I’ve been living in. Terrified like I can breathe fear and it is me.
Her arms go around me and she goes down onto the bed with me, wraps her legs and arms around me, buries my head against her chest. Lays her head on top of mine. Holds tight. I cling back. Shaking. Trying to grab more and more and more, until I realize I have grabbed her finally as solidly as I can. My hands still fidget. I plead and plead and plead until I lose my unused voice. I can only hear choked, awful whispers from my throat, but still I try. Finally, past my own dying begs, I hear her making sound back.
I begin to hear it slowly, very slowly, when I can’t hear me anymore.
She clings to me, holding strong, but not crushing. She is saying, “It’s okay.” She says. “You’re going to be okay. I will fix you. I will heal you. You aren’t dead. You’ll be alive again. I promise. It’ll be okay.”
‘Alive again.’
I hear that.
I think ‘again, that’s in the song.’
‘Begin again,’ I know the words now. The meaning.
I feel some kind of clarity. Comfort. Like the song was a promise too. Like the right words.
“Alive again,” I start trying to repeat. I can’t hear myself beyond a hiss anymore, but I try. I try, I try, I try.
She must hear it somehow. She says, “Yes, alive again. I’ll fix you. I promise. It’s okay. Calm down, okay? I can heal you.”
Heal.
I think of the little white…stimpacks, I almost remember. ‘Heal.’
I think of closed cuts.
Heal.
I try to shut my eyes. Try to not cry anymore.
So tired. Maybe I will die from the crying. I worry sincerely then that I might.
“There you go,” she whispers, and her grip loosens, “It’s okay.”
I panic. “No,” I beg, opening my eyes, shaking again, trying to find her face and pull her closer to me, “No don’t go Apple don’t go please!”
I am crying again. I see her face, surprised. Pain. She must be hurt too.
“Don’t put me back please,” I weep, “Don’t make me like I was please please! Do anything! Anything! Don’t break me again, please! Please don’t!”
I think she will cry.
“I won’t.” Her voice shakes.
I am too scared to believe her.
Trembling all along my body, I tug my head against her chest again and try to hold tight to make it hard for her to go. I can’t breathe slowly, and I can’t get enough breath in my lungs. It scares me too. I am afraid it means I am already dying again. So soon.
“No please,” I whimper, “Please Apple. Please. Don’t hurt me anymore. Don’t break me again. I’m sorry. Please. Don’t break me. Don’t kill me again. Please, I want to be a person. Don’t take me away. Don’t. Please don’t. Help me. Please, please. Please. Help.”
“Okay,” she promises, not moving anymore, “Okay.”
She stays a long time. I beg, and cry, and plead. She says words I remember and words I don’t and words I half know, voice soft like the bed, and sad, worried. Kind.
She holds on to me.
I am so exhausted from begging and crying and being a corpse, I lose consciousness finally, after hours.
I’m already dead.
I was the whole time. I just didn’t know it.
-
When I wake up again, I feel heavy. Stiffness like a corpse. I am sure that is what I am now. I am afraid to open my eyes and see it. I know she will be gone. Everything is gone.
But, I open my eyes.
She is still there.
I am curled up on her, clinging. She is quiet, watching me. Awake, and still there. She did not leave me.
“Hey,” she says softly. I stare. “How are you doing?”
I try hard to remember what that means. Makes my head ache to try.
But.
…’am I okay’. I turn the sound into words into meaning. Try to go the other way and turn meaning into words into sound.
“I am alive?” I check worriedly.
She nods. “Yes.”
I think. My voice cracks. “I can stay alive?”
“You will,” says Apple, “I promise.”
I cry again. Pull myself closer to her, worried. “You help me?” I ask when I can make words.
“Yes,” she promises, arms wrapping gently around me, “I’ll help. Don’t worry. We’ll fix you up. Like new. I’m really good at medicine; I’ll make sure you’re okay.”
I try to express gratefulness, but all the words I can think of are ‘We.’ That she called us ‘we’. Me, plus somebody else. Her, and me. Not alone now. Not alone.
“We?” I manage.
“Yes, we,” she agrees, “We’re together now. You’re not alone.”
I try to believe it. Try to calm down. “Two of us?” I suggest.
“Two of us,” she agrees, and there’s something important in her face.
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mainsamayhoon · 5 months
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Me writing the plot: the old king is dead and the kingdom is in ruins nobody has any hope for the future but suddenly a mysterious stranger shows up seemingly out of nowhere, with solutions to everyone's problems is he really the salvation or the doom?
Me writing scenery : the sky was blue.
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wolfiemcwolferson · 6 months
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berryberrybeautiful · 6 months
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So…here it is, like I promised. My first finished fic since 2019.
@sophswritingthings thank you for inspiring me to write this 🥰 and thank you to everyone who gave my rough draft version so much love when I sent it to them.
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adharagranley-writer · 9 months
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*my characters avoiding having deep or emotional conversations* because *me avoiding writing deep or emotional conversations*
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bolithesenate · 23 days
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Sifo-Dyas' gift is not an unknown one. In fact, on his homeworld there are many tales about those who will offer you glimpses of the future.
But beware, their visions show not a reality fixed in stone, but that which you wish for the most.
It is up to you whether or not you wish to face your innermost desires.
Sifo-Dyas' curse is that his choice was taken whose innermost desire he Sees.
His Master let his mind be opened to Darkness, and Darkness would be his forevermore companion.
What he Sees is not the future.
It is a future envisioned by the Sith.
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skellys-selfships · 4 months
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imagine scratching behind Husk's ears, hearing his low purr, feeling his wings twitch back and forth while he can only groan out to you, "Just like that, doll~"
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bruh-anator3000 · 1 year
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Me: hey you have a second part of a Viktor fic you need to finish up bc we like this story and other people do too!
My brain: vik...
Me: yeah, viktor!
Brain: vik...viking...
Me: what
Brain: VIKjng.. Dag
Me: no
Brain: daggruurr... me write...
Me: stop
Brain: gRaaaA DRAGUER
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wordfather · 7 months
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im boreddd!!!! time to introduce the Beast
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firestorm09890 · 8 months
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KHTober 2023 Day 5: New Outfit
Black exchanged for white. Low collar exchanged for high. The lack of gloves brought about a new (uncomfortable) awareness of what his hands were doing at all times, and the extra bit of fabric giving more weight to the front rather than the back had disoriented him more than he was willing to admit. The boots, at least, remained exactly the same.
Upon coming to his senses on the floor of the laboratory, Ienzo had wondered why, exactly, he had woken up in a fresh researcher’s uniform, complete with a grey sweater-vest and bright purple ascot, instead of the old, ill-fitting lab coat he was wearing when he had lost his heart. It ended up being something he mentally put in a box and resolved to avoid thinking about.
The worst part of the new ensemble was the ascot- occasionally, on rougher days, it would cause Ienzo (emotional) discomfort. Too tight. Too present. Like a hangman’s noose. Heart beat fast. Palms sweat. A feeling cold and harsh. And, so, he’d loosen it, but while that alleviated some of the visceral reactions, it did nothing for his mind, which, just like with the gloves, would register the open air and think they’ll all know something is wrong they’ll all catch your behaviors they’re all looking at you they know what happened they’ll know. And so. Back to its former position it went. Like nothing happened.
It was hard to adjust to the outfit change, after wearing the black coat for so long. Though, compared to everything else that had changed, this was relatively meaningless. (But it wasn’t, was it? Symbolically, an outfit change can mean everything.) Ienzo supposed he was grateful that he’d gone straight from uniform to uniform; having to decide how he wanted to present himself right after so much of his life had just been uprooted might have been the final straw for his poor, overemotional heart, and he wanted to limit the amount of times he cried in front of the others.
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theshadowedqueen82 · 2 months
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So how goes the Guy on a Buffalo AU? 😂
I actually have a decent plan for the plot for this one! This fic is officially becoming less of a joke and more of an Actual Thing that I can Create. Unfortunately my schedule is chaos right now, and I do not know how long it will take for me to actually write this... But I'm confident that at some point in the future I'll actually be able to post it!
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