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hectorthedoggo · 3 days

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teehee!! new chapter!!

tws under cut (but, they have slight spoilers, so steer clear :D)

Tws: referenced underage drinking (/j), suicidal ideations, implied past es not living la vida loca (slight physical, emotional child abuse), also, there is no csa/sa at all in this fic for es, btw :)

(@kani-miso good morning)

#milgram #milgram es #es milgram #fugue au #fuuta kajiyama #kazui mukuhara #mikoto kayano

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vincord · 2 days

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Ah yes. This duo.

+ ver. without text

#milgram #amane momose #kazui mukuhara #vncrd draws

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nomeniko · 22 hours

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playing w them like dolls this gay month

#milgram #milgram fanart #shidou kirisaki #kazui mukuhara #0507 #shoutout to an uncle of mine for encouraging me on this by telling me #in his words #fujoshihan mo yan #myart

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lostxmelody · 2 days

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does anyone get me

#milgram #milgram fanart #ミルグラム #mikoto kayano #kayano mikoto #john cameo in the last one technically #milgram project #you can uh. definitely tell which one i did last. and also which was my favorite #lxm fanart #tried to downscale image so it wasnt horrendously blurry but it didn't work. so #oh blondekoto you are so cursed my beloved

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oboetemasuka · 3 days

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When the Deep Cover merch dropped, I realized something...

Both Kotoko and Shidou have their left hand holding their right glove. And the trench coat hangs similarly to the belt.

The least forgiven and the most forgiven. Both trying to help the warden in their own ways. Lovely savior complexes we've got going on here, don't we?

#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #shidou kirisaki

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greenbetula · 14 hours

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long time no traditional art, im withering away

#i messed up the sketch real bad but luckily i managed to salvage it #i was this 🤏close from throwing it away #coloring is digital btw...#milgram #mikoto kayano #green's gallery #my stuff

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iris-drawing-stuff · 1 day

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I just got a new drawing tablet (with a screen!!!), so I drew John to test it out.

#milgram #milgram fanart #iris draws #mikoto kayano #john kayano #john milgram #i really struggled with line art with my previous one because of the lack of screen #i'd redraw the same line over and over #so this is great

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doodles-in-sand · 2 days

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"I'm so dumb...why did I have to dream?"

Hi milgramblr

#milgram #milgram fanart #kazui mukuhara #milgram project #hinako mukuhara #:))))))) yk that one audik that was around on insta yeah i :) i realised it worked #i djd this in two dayz i really like the shading actually!#literally kickingbmy feet amd giggling rn haha #hope yall enjoy :) goodnjght milgramblr

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doctorbunny · 1 day

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Its by total accident this ended up finished one the 1 year anniversary of I Love You ❤

#mahiru shiina #milgram #ミルグラム #ミルグラムファンアート #deco*27 #vocaloid fanart #my art

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rat-jay · 17 hours

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HAPPY PRIDE ❣❣❣ I would be very grateful if you support me on Twitter -> https://x.com/RatJay_

#art #digital art #artwork #арт #milgram #drawing #yuno mahiru #mahiru milgram #mahiru shiina #mahiru #yuno kashiki #yuno milgram #yuno #lgbt pride #lesbian pride

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abysssmare · 2 days

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would you rather

#milgram #milgram project #kazui mukuhara #mukuhara kazui #kotoko yuzuriha #yuzuriha kotoko

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tartagliawill0ws · 2 days

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Kotoko's PTSD/C-PTSD Symptoms

So earlier I said I could make an entire post on Kotoko's PTSD symptoms, for lack of a better start, here it is!

Hyperarousal (feeling "on edge")

Someone with PTSD may be very anxious and find it difficult to relax. They may be constantly aware of threats and easily startled.

In the beginning of Harrow, we see her relatively relaxed, looking over her research, but then...

She turns to look at the camera, clutching her fist and seemingly startled. Even when seemingly alone, she can't relax fully, not for long. Then we see the wolf appears besides her, something she seems almost horrified with in the end of Deep Cover. Also, in Harrow, even within her own mind she is clenching her fist, tense.

Re-experiencing

Re-experiencing is the most typical symptom of PTSD. This is when a person involuntarily and vividly relives the traumatic event in the form of:

•flashbacks

When she sees Keiko, multiple images of other people being harmed flash across. While these could be other victims of the same man, I have also seen it argued that it is Kotoko in the past and that the man is just a fill-in of the sorts. It could be a traumatic flashback in that case.

•nightmares

I don't believe we have anything that exactly fits this criteria, but we do have other types of possible re-livings.

•repetitive and distressing images or sensations

The wolf is not only mirroring Kotoko with blood around the mouth, but is also looming over her. Many perpetrators of violence have nightmares of seeing blood on their hands, like Kotoko here, but it doesn't entirely seem like Kotoko sees herself as a monster, not fully. She is not the monster, but the monster is so terrifyingly like her, it is constantly looming over here.

"They’re still here, still here, it grates me"

Is the line that goes with this, and considering the insults she gave the prisoners before you may think she's talking about them, which she may be, but what she uses in Japanese is much more vague. More like "it's" as far as I know(?) correct me if I'm wrong. In this scenario, she could easily be talking about some form of trauma she is remembering.

•physical sensations, such as pain, sweating, feeling sick or trembling

Possibly just from overexertion, but her expression speaks of more (I don't think she's horrified by her actions or anything at this point). She looks absoloutely terrified for a moment before she looks certain in herself again. She's sweating (as mentioned before) and may be described as looking "sick", if we go by the flashback explanation for the scenes she sees before she attacks, then she'd likely just be coming down from it. Panic attacks and flashbacks both have heavy physical affects on the body, even without them literally being a form flashbacks can take.

Avoidance and emotional numbing

Some people attempt to deal with their feelings by trying not to feel anything at all. This is known as emotional numbing.This can lead to the person becoming isolated and withdrawn, and they may also give up pursuing activities they used to enjoy.

Q: Don’t you feel scared of killing people? A: If it’s for the world. How I feel about it is completely irrelevant.

Q: Don’t you feel a sense of isolation in your current situation? A: It feels like nothings changed. If the world gets even a little better just by me undertaking this isolation, then that is the role the strong play.

In both of these, she attempts to say she feels nothing about a situation or that her feelings are irrelevant.

Many people with PTSD try to push memories of the event out of their mind, often distracting themselves with work or hobbies.

Q: What are your parent’s occupations?A: They’re just the normal office worker and housewife. Did you want me to be born in with some unique circumstances?

She presses harder with the pencil when answering this question, perhaps indicating some sort of anger or avoidance when the topic of her parents (or just past) comes up. Though, I feel as if this is some of the most speculation in this post.

Feelings of worthlessness, shame and guilt

She seems to hate herself immensely, only loving herself through her role as a "savior".

Such as the conflicted look she has in this scene, before we're shown the bloody scales. While I do think she is also experiencing some form of flashback in this scene, we're clearly being shown that she understands her justice is violent on some sort of subconscious level. She likely does feel guilty because of this, even if she does not want to admit it, because of the manner it's being shown to us.

"From the beginning, I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless Weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

Losing it, losing it, What should I hope for

Laugh and I can get to like myself

She is showing a deep disdain and sense of hopelessness for herself. She searches for purpose in the label of "Hero" without any other way to feel as if she likes herself, hence why she gets angry in the first example when someone seems to speak up against her. Without her vigilantism, she feels worthless.

Problems controlling your emotions

Very commonly, those with C-PTSD will experience a lot of anger and unstable emotions.

*Sigh* How ridiculous... It's always like this...All of you weaklings always act like this... All of you enjoy seeing someone getting hurt...

All of you enjoy seeing a bad person falling down...

You keep asking for it, but as soon as it happens near you by your own choice, you all start complaining and evading your responsibility...You're always like this... Always such idiots!

Here, we can see her getting angry when denied her escapism of vigilantism by Es. If you listen to the voice drama, it almost sounds as if she's about to cry. As if she is experiencing a very unstable set of emotions and doesn't know how to control them so she is lashing out with anger. She asks them to let her keep her purpose, still angry,

If you don't have strength on your own, let me take care of it, Es! I can do it in MILGRAM!

Do you understand now?! Don't make me wait!!!

In the line I mentioned before, the "From the beginning" one, she is also displaying this. The only context I can imagine for this is someone who is horrified or denying her (Keiko in my theory), and when faced with this she lashes out with anger again.

In Deep Cover, we constantly see her anger surrounded by her being scared, desperate, ect. She lashes out when scared, sad, and other feelings because she seemingly does not know how else to deal with her feelings.

Finding it hard to feel connected with other people

I ffeel like this is already very well-explained with the quote

Q: Don’t you feel a sense of isolation in your current situation? A: It feels like nothings changed. If the world gets even a little better just by me undertaking this isolation, then that is the role the strong play.

When ostracised due to the fact she actually beat people within an inch of her life, she claims she feels no more isolated. From the beginning, she couldn't connect with them, even if she does have feelings of fondness for some. And her introduction immediately shows that she is weary of others, not wanting to say anything more than her name and age.

Yuzuriha Kotoko. 20 years old. I don’t feel like telling you much else right now. That is, before I find out what your intentions are.

She completely avoids normal people, further isolating herself by naming herself one of the only "strong" in a group of "weak", and via dehumanisation as a "tool"..... Oh, and that leads me into my next point.

Dissociation

The way dissociation manifests varies from individual to individual, though it always involves some form of distancing from the traumatic experience, memory or source of anguish.

In Harrow, we see her mindspace. The first time we see it, she is obviously stressed, with eyebags and an almost despaired expression. And then, she opens her eyes and she is in her mindspace.

When experiencing a source of anguish (her feelings towards the injustices of the world and the result of her overworking), she retreats into her own mind, sometimes completely by accident. Almost everytime we see this mindspace, she is surrounded by her research (her overworking and the despair she feels from seeing what is happening) or she is straight up seeing Keiko be kidnapped and possibly experiencing flashbacks.

She removes herself from "herself" in a way by calling herself a tool, a fang- inhuman. By calling herself that, accepting other people (Es) seeing her like that, she is removing herself from the larger group of "people" (and the events of her past by giving herself a current purpose), which also ties back into her disconnection from other people.

If other people recognise more or can se more examples please share!! She's so very dear to me and I want to understand her as well as I can.

#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #Kotoko “I had a perfectly normal life” Yuzuriha #Kotoko saying her life wasn't special only to subject herself to sleeping in a PLASTIC CHAIR and CONSTANTLY SURROUNDED BY HER WORK #Girl normal people don't do that #Also about the dissociation she has a parallel with Mikoto (I.e the guy with DID the expert in dissociation)#“I feel like I'm breaking” which is very similar to some of the stuff he says

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09lover · 1 day

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