#of them just not even acknowledging my struggles while i was in the midst of them and trying still to support them and be there for e | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fleursbending · 1 year

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𝐈'𝐦 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. | Jake Sully

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : as your dad navigates his grief, you're there to remind him just of one thing. that you won't be leaving him as well.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : dad!jake sully x neteyams twin sister!reader

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : the very highly anticipated sully!daughter fic is finally here to cure all your daddy issues. it is imperative you read pt 1 because none of this is going to make any sense! hope u have some tissues cause this is a tough one! i also suggest you listen to this on repeat while reading, it just encapsulates perfectly the aura surrounding this story.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : atwow spoilers, talks of death and grief, sm hurt/comfort, dialogue-heavy, missing neteyam hours, dad!jake is in deep pain.

𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 : skimwing - pandoran creature inhabiting the tropical oceans, ‘ite - daughter, sempul - father, ngaytxoa - sorry, my apologies (acknowledgment of guilt and regret), olo'eyktan - clan leader, sa'nok - mother, mawey - calm, 'eveng - child, yawntutsyìp - darling / little loved one, tsmukan - brother, rey’eng - the balance of life.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 3.2k words (are we surprised) ?!

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 : @pandorainmymind @eywas-heir @spicycloudsalad @missdreamofendless @prty-poisxn @scarlettwitch-4 @23victoria @avidreader3107 @purplehyacinthss @itssiaaax @neteyamoa @tsireyasgf @nijirozzz @useryourbut @yua-himari @sweetheartlizzie07 @grierpilots @reneehillary69 @fruitsalad1 @forasgaard @iwaslikeblah @dumb-fawkin-bitch @theicemav @narutoboi

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐘 this past few weeks. It greeted you in disguise, leaching at every hope that remained after your brother had taken his last breath. Slowly, but surely - its efforts won in the end.

After the battle had come to a finish, time stilled once you returned back to the rock. And it escaped you entirely when you returned Neteyam back to Eywa.

To Y/n, it did not matter that the Metkayina had accepted her family as one of the people. Is this what it had to take? Her brother being ruthlessly killed by the sky demons to really prove their worth? If anything, it made her feel deeply ashamed - scorned.

Everything around Awa'atlu was a reminder of where he coexisted amongst you. The laughter you shared, the games you'd play with Tuk. The teasing and riding your Ilu's together. It played like an old record, jammed in the forefront of your mind.

That was why you couldn't fall back asleep, tonight the onslaught of harsh memories had demanded your attention. Taunting you, egging you on - what you have lost. What won't remain.

A frustrated huff fell from you in the silent darkness of your mauri. In the midst of your cuddle pile that your family rested in nightly, there was a gaping space left untouched. The one right beside you.

It was where he would reside once turning in for the night. These sleeping arrangements were still something you struggled to grow accustomed to. Even if fatigued gnawed at your eyelids, your heart refused to let you rest.

A faint yet distinct figure pushes themselves up from the pile then, Y/n squints her eyes as they start to make their way out of the mauri. They widen in recognition, it was her father. Where was he heading out to this late into the eclipse?

Ever so slightly she wriggles and attempts to maneuver out of Lo'ak's hold, the poor boy hadn't been able to disconnect from your side since the unfortunate day. Y/n knows he felt immense guilt for his actions that weren't even his fault.

But that was something else to worry about for another day.

As you mimic your dad's movements from moments ago, your head turns to look back at your family. Okay, good. None of them had awoken from their deep slumbers.

Whisking around, Y/n peeps out of their mauri. Heart thudding, but oh - there he is.

Jake had seated himself at a spot on top of the boat that had been gifted to your family after your father had been able to successfully ride a Skimwing. The same spot Kiri sat when she and their father shared a conversation, you had only witnessed the end of it. Unfortunately, you and Neteyam had to cut it short after dragging Ao'nung to them and demanding the idiotic boy, confess to his dumb shenanigans.

That was the day when you thought you were going to lose Lo'ak.

It's crazy how little you knew of back then.

Her heart felt so brittle, knowing it was also the spot that had become her and Neteyam's. After seeing it being used that day, it was where you two would go to have quiet intimate conversations. From your worries as the elder kids, or to any fun things that have occurred that day. The both of you had claimed it, but now it had been abandoned.

Y/n hadn't stepped foot close to its vicinity ever since….everything.

Taking a deep sigh to calm herself, she tiptoed over to Jake.

Nevertheless, Jake alert as ever immediately whipped around. Eyes holding something akin to being on the defense.

Raising your hands up in alarm, you whisper to him, "Dad, hey! It's just me, it's just me."

His mouth gapes as he slumped back down. His shoulders promptly drained away the sudden tension that had built up from the shock.

"Ah, 'ite. Sorry, you scared me. He spoke, but his voice sounded worlds away.

You peer down at him, he wasn't usually one to be scared.

"It is okay, sempul. I should have announced my presence. I'm the one who should be sorry."

He rasped out, "Stop apologising, you do not need to apologise!"

Her ears flatten then, folding themselves back. Y/n's tail lowly swishes in anxiousness at his rash tone.

"Sempul-" You said in a small panicky voice.

He hushed you, making you sit down by him. Jake brought you into his arms, holding onto you as tight as he could without harming you.

"I'm so sorry, sweet girl. I shouldn't have yelled at you." He continued to express his regrets quietly as he rocked you in his arms, chin pressed to the top of your head.

The luminescent ocean ceased its aggravated waves then as if to give you a tender moment of peace.

Jake chokes on his next words, and it makes you straighten up in an instant. There's a resounding affliction that lingers in the words that flow out of him like he'd been slammed back to earth.

"Losing a twin is far worse in comparison to losing your legs."

The cries saddle him then, and it pierces through your core. He's trembling a worrisome amount, cowering away from your imploring gaze.

You've never heard your father cry before. Not like this.

"Ngaytxoa, sempul."

It was something you'd only say in dire moments to drive the point home whenever you screwed up really badly. An admission of guilt, something that holds more weight than the sorry's you've been speaking back and forth to each other since the beginning of this encounter.

Jake knew this, far too well actually. It made him tense up.

You know the tales, the struggles he had to overcome when he was disabled. How much he loathed himself and the life earth had carved out and boxed him in. His brother's death was his calling to try to do something greater with his life.

Then he became a dream walker, a body that gave him far more solitude than he ever imagined. Jake never wanted to return to his human form due to how in tune he felt with his na'vi body.

The sentence he had just uttered made you frankly realise how burdening his grief must be for him.

His firstborn son, his hopes and dreams. His entire life. Neteyam was his boy. Jake's mighty fisherman, Jake's mighty warrior, Jake's solitude.

It all came at you in full force then.

The devastated man before you didn't even care about how worthless all the training for Neteyam becoming the future Olo'ekytan came to be. He came to terms with that once he made the tough decision for his family to leave everything they have ever known.

It paled in comparison to the remorse he felt for what he could have experienced with his son instead. That was something that bothered Jake to the bone. The fact that he would never be able to make up for the lost time with Neteyam.

He'd never be able to share a new moment with him again.

The duration of his fatherhood began with Neteyam, and a part of it sunk alongside his child when the sea anemone passed him on to the great mother.

Now you were all that remained of him, and Jake had never felt such immeasurable unsettled shame. His one duty as a father is to protect his children. To guide you through life, to aid you in whatever way was possible for him. Even with the tiny wiggle room you'd given him to do so, he tried his best.

For the first time with you though - his best was not enough.

Jake failed your family, and in doing so, he failed you.

His firstborn daughter, his pride and joy. His softness. You were his unbreaking glue, the one who kept him together. He couldn't utilise that this time, Jake did not deserve that.

Although he was a fool to think so cruelly because you were just like him.

He too was what remained of a bond so unwavering and mighty. A remnant of what could have been, what has been lost - and what is forced to stay.

While you never witnessed firsthand him experiencing that, he relived it through you and Neteyam. He admired you two graciously, seeing you both flourish amongst one another. How an attachment so noticeable and persistent, only grew in tandem over the years.

Wherever Neteyam and Y/n would be, they swiftly knew they were in the same proximity to each other. Y/n never had to look, she just knew it was him. Jake knows this because he nurtured you, taught you the ways of the people like Neytiri had done for him all those years ago.

Two peas in a pod, an impenetrable force. Each other's shadow, each other's light.

You both would always weave each other out of the darkness that bloomed in your minds every now and then. Conveying the importance of what life has to offer.

Forced to mature at a quicker pace than most kids your age, because the world you lived in demands it. Forced to learn the ways of war when your tiny hands could barely even wrap around a trigger of a gun.

He wasn't easy on you two.

Now more than ever, he wished he had been.

"Oh, dad." You mumbled, tears beginning to well up in your own eyes as you tug him back into another embrace.

There in his baby daughter's arms, he finally lets it all out. Somber wails ebb into your shoulder as you squeeze him, giving Jake some much-needed security. There, he allows himself to wallow in his grief, letting it finally catch up on him.

At the end of the day, he was a father who had lost one of his greatest accomplishments.

And you were his kid who lost two pillars in her life. Your home, and your twin. It was haunting you every waking moment, the thoughts of what you should be experiencing. What he should be doing.

It felt like the world was ridding Jake of all he has to live for, a repetition so caving and tumultuous.

"Now your kid has to really follow in your footsteps," is the dread that drills in his mind.

You didn't deserve this, once again he felt and harbored the most guilt. It was like he was watching Home Tree fall right before his eyes all over again.

It was all his fault, and without exception - always will be.

As if Y/n read his mind, and picked apart all that he currently is. The inner turmoils he had been forced to with had come to an all-time peak.

She soothed, "It's not your fault."

He sighs in return, "Y/n."

You shake your head, that same determination from when you were both trapped in the sinking ship flickering in your eyes.

"It is not your fault." You annunciate each word, each syllable.

You survey him, letting out a low scoff at his avoidant eyes.

"We cannot do this to ourselves. It cannot be mine, Lo'ak's, or your burden to keep. If we head in that direction, we'll meet that demon ship on the ocean floor."

Some of those words sink in with her as well, she knows she can't keep living like this.

Y/n realises that her words aren't resonating with Jake. The man before her was a shell of her father that could usually endure anything that came his way.

Jake was distraught, frantic for answers - why him? Why his family? Why Neteyam?

You survey your surroundings then, trying to see if you can knock him out of the reverie that has taken him by storm. You didn't want to be too abrupt with it, not wanting another abrasive reaction like before to happen.

All you see is the cerulean water.

Y/n lets her hands glide along the tide, cupping some in her hands only to then let it sprinkle over Jake.

He blinks at the sudden cold raining over him.

"Sorry, 'ite-"

"I think we should forbid that word from being mentioned for the rest of tonight."

Jake lets out a huff through his nose in response.

"Ma sempul, please. Look at me. You haven't properly done so since that night." You plead to him.

He gulps, gripping at the boat beneath him and letting his knuckles turn a stark white.

"I can't." He cries out, eyes squeezing shut in remorse and chagrin.

"Yes, you can. Come on, dad."

Shaky hands grab at his face, almost slipping at the sheer amount of tears that cascade like a ruthless never-ending waterfall.

His heavy eyes try to stay level with your arms that have reached out for his face.

Before finally, he looks at you.

A soundless sob rakes through him then, and in return, you shed a few of your own.

"I miss him, I miss him so much. I can't sleep, I can barely stomach anything. I can't properly take care of your mother, our family-"

His words stumble out of him at a rapid pace, but you do your best to soothe him as he tries to catch his breath through some sniffles.

"-I can't be a good father while navigating this grief."

Finally, he properly exhales. Releasing himself from the internal battles that had kept him restless all this time.

You pat his cheek in reassurance and fondness, "That's where you're wrong. You're being a good father right now."

He inhaled shakily, the waterworks returning to him at your genuine ways of trying to give him comfort. Jake is terrified though, he'd never been this vulnerable with you.

Maybe when you were a lot younger, yes

But life swept you both up, too invested in your own responsibilities. Back then there was time for your father-daughter extravaganzas. A time when he'd be able to take you out in broad daylight and let you go flying with him on his Ikran. Before the sky people returned, before Jake had to reassemble his war party and train them heavily again.

A time when being Olo'eyktan wasn't as demanding as it came to be.

Jake's hands grab onto yours, inevitable shame still coursing through him.

He should be the one comforting you, not the other way around.

But grief demands to be felt. It's not something you can outrun, it'll overtake you eventually.

You try to dispel some of his fears.

"It's okay right now to feel all these things, sempul. But we can't let it overrule us, we can't let it win."

Subconsciously, he squeezes your hand that still lingered on the apple of his cheek. There was an unsettling glimmer that still lay behind his eyes. Y/n knew then, there was a root he had yet to relinquish. There was still something brewing in his head that had been the biggest reason that he'd been kept awake these past few nights.

Y/n tilts her head, wordlessly questioning him. Beckoning Jake to reveal the mangled web that connected everything together.

His hands tremor once more, lips wobbling as he struggles to maintain his already fractured composure. The sight leaves a heavy weight on your heart, desperately wanting to know already so you could try to ease the pain.

After a moment's reflection, he speaks, "Every time I look at you, I'm so scared it's going to be the last time, 'ite."

Neteyam sighs from above you both then. Eywa looks at him, daring him to voice out his thoughts.

"They are so determined and hard-headed, great mother. You know, the people always said to us that I was more like sa'nok. But she was always a carbon copy of our sempul. Ugh, I miss them."

She hums in acknowledgment, the great mother already knowing this.

They both return to peer down at the two figures below them.

"I just can't. I won't lose you too." He reiterates then, mind clouded at the thought of losing you the same way you all lost Neteyam.

The sky people would cease to exist if they dares to do such an act.

"Sempul, mawey. I am not going anywhere. I am staying right here. I will always be here. He will always be here, I'm sure he is now."

Neteyam chuckles at that, how ironic.

He points to you excitedly, "see great mother, it's like this twin telepathy thing."

Y/n rests the palm of her hand against Jake's chest, where her dad's heart stills.

"I do not know what it feels like, to be a parent. But I know what it does feel like, to be your daughter. It is the greatest gift Eywa could ever give me, dad. I won't ever take that for granted, not anymore. You won't lose me, especially not like that." Your words hinted at a darker ending, one you dearly hoped you wouldn't be meeting anytime soon.

You'd do anything in your power to keep that promise to your father, it's the least you can do after all the trauma he has had to clamber through.

"Ma ‘eveng."

Y/n gives him a wistful smile, and he returns it with the most genuine grin you've seen ever since the passing.

It gave you a semblance of relief. Now having a true grasp of your father's mind as of late, Y/n couldn't help but feel repentant. It'll be alright though, time doesn't have to be kind to you. As long as you are with one another, you'll continue to help him in any way possible to fight his grief.

"Thank you, yawntutsyìp." Jake beams, and you know you don't have to say anything in return for him to see the gratitude you hold towards him.

You stand then, tugging at his hand for him to come with you.

"Come on old pal, let's get some much-needed sleep."

He scoffed, fingers darting to your sides and pinching them - "I'm not that old!"

Y/n giggles, leaning into him and hugging Jake's waist. He guides you back into the dark of your mauri.

Seeing your family all resting harmoniously gave you a newfound sense of hope. It'll take time to heal and grow from this, sure. But you're the Sully's.

You've made it through the utmost of hell, surely you can make your way back down.

Even if your inner demons continued to nag at your mind, - you stood by your stance then.

Y/n would do it all over again if it meant she could return back to her family at night. If at the end of the day - she can meet them, feel their presence with her. That was enough.

It gave her the greatest consolation that she still felt him then, her tsmukan. Her rey'eng.

Her reason to make it through another day.

Y/n's protector who will always and forever be mighty, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk’itan.

He held his hand to his heart then. Neteyam would forever be indebted to Eywa, the boy appreciative that indeed - he could feel you too.

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my taglist. ♡

#junie's library 📚✧.*#jake sully x daughter!reader #sully family x reader #jake sully x reader #atwow spoilers #neteyam x sister!reader #neteyam sully x reader #avatar the way of water #avatar james cameron #avatar x reader #jake sully #dad!jake sully #avatar: the way of water #atwow

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justblades · 1 year

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been readinf ur works and omg🤤🤤🤤 anyways been thinking of gepard and giving him a hot bj while hes on duty and like some people hear it🙏🙏 makes me go crazy

⌕ HEAR MY PLEAS, 18+

⟢ CHARACTER : gepard x gender neutral! reader WC : 598

⟢ WARNINGS : (EX)PLICIT, MDNI. public blowjobs

along the strings of weak moans escaping gepard's saliva slicked lips are also endless musings of "enough", "they'll hear us" and "we'll get caught". the blond cannot contain himself anymore as he throws his head back and struggles to keep a close eye on your crouched figure, seeking refuge underneath the mere small table of the headquarters. he wanted you to stop, but another part of him doesn't want to - you were that good under him, stimulating his cock in ways he've never felt before.

still, you persist in providing service for your beloved captain. you toy the crown of his dick with your sloppy tongue's tip, twirling it around the head and to his slit in intervals, depending where the male would react the most from— to which part he lets out the deepest moans. "so, captain . . will you promote me now?" you tease and pump his cock all at the same, gepard's face crumpling even further.

"i told you before . . i don't like underhanded methods such as thi—!" you knew what he intended to say, therefore, you preferred not for him to continue his answer. in exchange, you bob your head up and down his length once again, locking a passionate gaze with the blond captain up above watching his cobalt irises agleam of pleasure turn into two little crescents.

your desire to pleasure the male and rise in the ranks burns brighter, so you take him in deeper, to which the big head of his dick is now hitting the spot of your throat, the two parts constantly kissing in every movements. "h-halt this!" gepard weakly objects and runs his gloved hand through his flaxen strands in the midst of the session, eyes closing shut from the overwhelming pleasure coursing through his veins.

withdrawing from his dick for a short moment to respond, "but captain, your cock is begging for it." you reply and flick the shaft as it bounces from how rock hard he was, "see?" the margins of your lips widen, a sneering smile sculpted— gepard however ran out of retorts from your absurd answers, his rationality already wearing thin. instead, shades of hot pink dusts his ears and cheeks, feeling mortified at how his actions are the polar opposite of his words.

he does his best attempt to catch his breath and demands for your attention, feigning resilience. "listen, i'll acknowledge your efforts, your hardwork, and . . i'll promote you." gepard explains, while you remain knelt in front of him, thinking hard what to do for your next move.

when suddenly, a knock of three times reverberate inside the headquarters, seemingly coming from the other side of the door. "captain gepard, is everything alright?" the blond's jaw falls agape and panic was written all over his face, but as a quick witted captain, he realizes it quick it was a small hurdle for him. "yes . . . i just had to contact someone. go back to your posts now."

his voice exudes of jurisdiction and power, his brows furrow as he answered. once he hears the flat, unison footsteps of the silvermane guards fading away, he sits back down at the chair— heaving a sigh of relief. "that was a close one."

all of a sudden, you're behind the male with your arms wrapped around gepard's broad torso, head cozied and buried from the comforting crook of his neck. an aromatic note meshed of his sweat's scent wafts into your nostrils, you couldn't help but ingrain in your mind the way gepard smells.

"shall we have them hear your pretty, deep moans then next, captain?"

#ꨄten thirsts #gepard landau #gepard x reader #gepard x reader smut #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x reader smut #hsr x reader #hsr x reader smut #honkai star rail gepard

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yappix · 2 months

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I need to be awake in three hours but I'm just thinking of this

Like, Aimsey right. I have many many problems with them. But my biggest problem is how they try to paint themselves as this huge advocate for queer people, women and mental health to their audience

And yet they shit on Dream. If you're truly going to be an advocate for any of this, talk about the biggest victim of homophobia in your own community. Sure Drean doesn't get called slurs every day (that's an Uber exclusive ✨️) but at the end of the day, the reason Dream gets treated like that is because he himself is queer and he welcomes a queer female audience with open arms

But no, Aimsey just uses him and and the rest of dteam as punching bags. They see them as less. Aimsey can not and will never be a truly safe space until they acknowledge what Dream has been through and the role they played to help perpetuate it. Aimsey proves the whole thing about how people's queerness is judged on morality

Dream is the biggest victim mcyt has ever witnessed and yet all they see is a villain. Congrats the right wing smear campaign worked.

Aimsey and the rest of the Brighton bastards can tout all they want about how they want to support victims and queer people and marginalized communities but until they're able to see past their own biases and accept the blatant hate they've helped spread, they will never be that. They will be two-faced liars who only accept you when it's to no harm them. As soon as they have to make themselves uncomfortable for your rights and comfort, all they give is scorn

Associating with Dream is hard, it is let's not kid ourselves. Even as fans it can be difficult and most fans feel like they have to hide when they're out in the real world. But that's precisely why it's so important that anyone who claims to be all for marginalized people is also willing to show support for Dream

That also goes to Catelyn. She called George out happily without hearing his side of the story but it was crickets when it came to punz.

This goes to Sniff who was all to eager to tear Dream down and share Andi's story but has been deathly silent on every other matter. This goes to Rue who in the midst of people reeling over what was found out about Wilbur took the opportunity and painted Dream as an enabler when he was simply in the room. This goes to all of them, every single one who can't keep Dream’s name out of their mouth as the general public slowly forgets theirs

And it goes to their fans too. Their fans who happily alienate and ostracize Dream fans on the basis of us enjoying our silly little guys. They who blindly believe every awful word that's thrown Dream’s way without wondering what he did to be called that and never question why they're so eager to hate him

I mention Dream the most because he's undeniably the center of all this, but neither George nor Sapnap are safe from this either

It frustrates me to no end because they're so incredibly preformative. Dream never outright says go support victims, but every month he quietly donates to a charity in support of victims

He doesn't try and claim he's an advocate for queer people, he just exists and fosters a community where you can be openly about that. He also designs delightfully subtle pride merch. He doesn't claim he's an advocate for mental health, but he occasionally mentions his own struggles as a teen and how he got through it and tells us it'll be okay even if it doesn't feel that way or he'll say yeah I'm medicated now and it helps

He isn't loud about any of this. He just quietly makes it known his thoughts and feelings in small ways that resonate deeply with his audience.

He's not an advocate, he's just someone who when accused of something decided to try and do something good while clearing his name. He's not an advocate, he's a queer person that exists. He's not an advocate, he's just a young adult who struggled in his younger years.

He's not an advocate but he's made his space a safe one regardless of who and what you are.

I got severely off topic and rambled sorry 😅

💫

don’t apologize, i appreciate hearing your thoughts <3

these parts of what you said really stood out to me:

“Aimsey proves the whole thing about how people’s queerness is judged on morality”

“They will be two-faced liars who only accept you when it’s no harm to them”

“As soon as they have to make themselves uncomfortable for your rights and comfort, all they give is scorn”

you’re right; if you want to foster a safe space for marginalized groups, you cannot pick and choose who is valid and who isn’t. we see this in so many different spaces and in so many different ways — the second that someone who’s part of a marginalized group isn’t liked anymore (usually because of others’ moral superiority complexes), they are completely alienated from their community at the hands of loud ‘advocates’.

one thing that really bothers me about all of this is that the main strength in advocacy is education. educating people is advocacy. and then these creators come forward claiming to be advocates who foster safe spaces, yet their only forms of ‘education’ or discussion are heated rants about other creators they don’t like, vagueing ongoing situations or drama, and shitting on creators like dream. and the worst part is how obvious it is that they haven’t even attempted to think critically about any of the hate they’re spreading. also, spreading hate is not advocacy! ever! spreading hate is not ‘supporting victims’! you’re inherently taking away from victims when you shift the focus onto someone to target. turning someone else into a victim isn’t supporting victims.

and about all the action dream has taken to support people in marginalized groups: there’s even a massive difference between those other creators & dream in terms of the messages they spread and the behaviours they encourage. dream has ALWAYS told his fans not to spread hate or fight people on his behalf. he has ALWAYS encouraged empathy, understanding, and compassion, and shown it himself even when the other party doesn’t necessarily deserve it and hasn’t shown him the same. he doesn’t go on hate-rants about other creators. he ALWAYS gives people the benefit of the doubt and tries to look at things from every possible perspective.

yes, talking is a huge part of advocacy. but an even bigger part is action. content creators make their agendas and intentions clear through their actions and behaviour, but their fans often get distracted by their words (i.e. “this is a safe space for queer people”). all of those examples you listed of ways dream has been a silent advocate makes his agenda clear. the same goes for creators like aimsey, who make empty promises and then do things that directly contradict the things they’re saying (claiming to support victims, yet completely ignoring all of the ways dream has been victimized).

advocacy is uncomfortable, period. being a large voice in a community and using that reach to support marginalized groups can shine a huge spotlight on creators. and once you see where a creator draws the line, where their support and ‘advocacy’ ends, their intentions and agendas become visible very quickly. and usually, the point where advocacy becomes too uncomfortable for a creator happens much sooner than people would expect. this is the issue with fans taking a creator’s words at face value; if those words aren’t backed up by any action, often times that means they’re untrue.

#pixspeaks #chitchat #discourse #aimsey neg

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rubyarrows · 9 months

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Matters of the Heart

I watched as YN entered the room, her presence lighting it up instantly. It was a platonic bond we shared, an unbreakable connection forged through countless missions and shared experiences. Deeks and Kensi were there too, like our extended family, their camaraderie adding a sense of familiarity to the air.

As YN and I exchanged a knowing glance, I couldn't help but notice the slight tension in her expression. It was a look that only someone who knew her as well as I did would detect. Deeks and Kensi, always attuned to the nuances of our interactions, exchanged a glance of their own.

We gathered around the table, the mission details laid out before us. It was a routine briefing, the kind we had been through countless times before. Yet, there was an underlying tension, an unspoken weight that hung in the air. We were professionals, adept at masking our emotions, but even the best spies couldn't hide everything.

YN's eyes met mine again, and in that moment, I knew that she was struggling with something. I had always been able to read her, even when she thought she was hiding behind a mask. And right now, that mask was slipping.

"I know that's not what you want to hear," I said, my voice low but steady. It was a simple statement, but one loaded with meaning. It was my way of acknowledging her feelings without prying, of offering support without pushing her to reveal more than she was ready to.

Deeks cleared his throat, breaking the momentary silence that had settled over us. "You guys are like a married couple," he joked, attempting to lighten the mood. Kensi nudged him playfully, but even she understood the gravity of the situation.

YN managed a small smile, a flicker of gratitude in her eyes. She knew that I was there for her, that I would always be there, no matter what. And I knew that she appreciated my understanding, my silent offer of companionship.

As the briefing continued, our attention shifted back to the mission at hand. But that unspoken exchange between YN and me lingered in the background, a testament to the depth of our connection. Deeks and Kensi were more than just colleagues; they were our friends who had become family over the years. And in this tight-knit team, we found solace and strength in each other's presence.

So, we faced the mission together, as we always did. And as the briefing came to an end, YN and I shared another look, a silent promise that no matter what challenges lay ahead, we would confront them as a united front. In this world of secrets and uncertainties, our bond remained unwavering, a source of stability in the midst of chaos.

Sam and Hetty entered the room, their arrival marking the final pieces of our team falling into place. Sam's strong and steady presence was always reassuring, while Hetty's enigmatic wisdom and guidance were invaluable assets to us all.

"Is there something we're missing?" Hetty's keen gaze swept over the room, her eyes settling on each of us in turn. It was as if she could read our thoughts, dissect our emotions with a single glance.

"We were just discussing the mission, Hetty," I replied, keeping my tone neutral but respectful. I knew better than to try and hide anything from her.

YN's fingers tapped softly against the table, a telltale sign of her restlessness. Sam's observant eyes darted between us, a faint furrow forming on his brow. He might not have known the specifics, but he sensed the undercurrents at play.

"I sense there's more to this than meets the eye," Hetty mused, her gaze lingering on YN for a moment longer. "Mr. Callen, care to enlighten us?"

I took a deep breath, my eyes never leaving YN's. "It's personal, Hetty. Something YN is dealing with."

Hetty's lips curved slightly, a knowing glint in her eyes. "Ah, matters of the heart. The most intricate puzzles of all."

Sam's raised eyebrow and Deeks' barely suppressed grin made it clear that they were intrigued. Kensi gave YN a supportive smile, a silent gesture of solidarity.

YN finally spoke up, her voice steady despite the vulnerability in her eyes. "It's just… complicated."

"I know that's not what you want to hear," I repeated, this time directed at YN, my voice soft but firm. It was a reminder that I was there, that we were all there, no matter the complexities.

Sam crossed his arms, his expression serious. "We're a team, YNN. We've faced danger and uncertainty together more times than I can count. You can trust us."

YN nodded, her gratitude evident. "I know, Sam. It's just… difficult."

Hetty stepped closer to the table, her presence commanding attention. "Difficulties are the stepping stones to growth, my dear. And challenges, whether personal or professional, are best confronted with those who stand beside you."

As Hetty's words settled over us, a sense of unity enveloped the room. We were more than just colleagues; we were a family. A family that supported each other through the toughest of times.

"So, let's face this mission, as well as your personal challenges, head-on," Kensi said, her determination mirroring that of all of us.

The mission details regained the spotlight, but the atmosphere had shifted. There was a renewed sense of purpose, a shared resolve to not only tackle the mission but also to stand by YN as she navigated her own path.

As we dispersed to prepare for the mission, I caught YN's eye one last time. Our unspoken understanding remained, now fortified by the unwavering support of our team – Sam's strength, Hetty's wisdom, Deeks' humor, Kensi's empathy, and my steadfast presence.

In this ever-changing world of espionage, where loyalties could shift and trust was a rare commodity, our bond remained constant. And together, we were ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead, as both a team of professionals and a family of kindred spirits.

#ruby arrows #ruby arrows imagines #ncis #ncis la #ncis x reader #ncis imagine #ncis fanfiction #ncis la x reader #ncis la imagine #ncis la imagines #ncis la fanfiction #g callen #g callen x reader #g callen imagine #g callen imagines #g callen fanfiction

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simplegenius042 · 10 months

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WIP Wednesday

Tagged by no one. For I am the one doing the tagging!

Tagging: @socially-awkward-skeleton @strangefable @direwombat @adelaidedrubman @shallow-gravy @wrathfulrook @snake-in-the-garden @alwayssunnyinedensgate @gaeadene @chazz-anova @cassietrn @josephslittledeputy @josephseedismyfather @voidika @poisonedtruth @detectivelokis @henbased @purplehairsecretlair @g0dspeeed @inafieldofdaisies and @vampireninjabunnies-blog + anyone else who wants to join.

Sharing two WIPs. The first is of chapter two of the Jurassic World Before The Storm fic, chapter one of which will be released in SIX days now, while the other WIP is of my FC5 fic Silva's Hope.

Here's the snippet of my Jurassic World WIP below:

“Now that introductions have been made, it’s best to get moving to cover more time for the day,” the woman, Zara, replies.

Joaquin didn’t need to look up at Lisa to know an annoyed scowl was in the midst of forming. Cautiously, he reached out a hand to her crossed arms, a gentle weight on them.

When she shifted her attention to him, the scowl had left, replaced with her soft gaze of hazel acknowledging the nervousness in his small brown eyes.

The eye-contact did not last long, for Joaquin strained to keep hold of the tender look he knew Lisa struggled to share even in her happiest moods. The comfort he should feel turned into distress as she kept staring at him. Overwhelmed and not wanting to have a “panic” in public, Joaquin broke the direct contact and looked away.

Joaquin disliked the prolonged action, how it rubbed him the wrong way when others stared at him for longer than he felt was necessary. Especially when the look into his eyes like they’re searching for some hidden secret. Made him feel sick, like if butterflies were flapping around in his belly.

He also felt as if he had done wrong against Lisa. It wasn’t her fault; his “anxieties”, his “shyness”, his “meek nature”. Just like her “happy moods” and “sad moods” weren’t within her control. His sister was aware of his skittishness, he knew that, and best of all never shunned him for it.

But he sometimes wished that he could give Lisa the comfort she deserved to have.

With her focus no longer on him, Joaquin heard Lisa conversing with Zara once more, much to his relief.

“Ms Dearing had agreed she’d meet us in person,” Lisa gritted out with renewed patience, “What changed?”

“Ms Dearing has been held up by unfinished affairs,” Zara replied, a small smile tugging at her lips as she softly shook her head fondly, “But nothing has changed. I will tour you through the park and show where you will be staying.”

Joaquin saw Lisa’s crossed hands clenching tightly. He also saw Lisa chewing her cheek in contemplation.

Hopefully she doesn’t bite it too hard again, he worried privately, and was unable to stop the stray thought as more came with it, Too hard and her sore might reopen. Then blood would pour out. And she’d be in pain, red slipping out, and he wouldn’t know what to do! She would get an infection, and the carers would come back and take him away from her and he’d be left alone without his sister, and she would be left without him, and it would be all his fault-!

Joaquin snapped out of the rapidly growing panicked thoughts as Zara’s voice speared through the air, looking towards the older woman, who had received no acknowledgement or response from his sister, “Will that be alright, Ms Cobalt?”

Joaquin barely heard the teeth-clenched confirmation from his undoubtedly agitated sister, “Just dandy.”

The agitation seemed to not bother Zara, or maybe it flew over her head, it was hard to tell.

“Wonderful. If you would kindly follow me to the monorail, I believe we can make it to the great lunch specials,” Zara spoke with a pleased and jovial voice. Though that could just be her music that seemed lay on her voice.

Zara turned tail and started walking towards the monorail station. Lisa and Joaquin glanced to one another, the former failing to contain her annoyance, the latter waiting for his sister's next move as he recovered from his own frenzied menagerie of anxious thoughts.

And here's a snippet of Silva's Hope (again this is under heavy development, this is just what I feel confident with so far, even if it the final product might be different):

"So," Kamski's voice returned from the static of the walkie talkie, finally arriving at the topic of importance, "Were you hired?"

Silva sipped again on the hot liquid of her brewed coffee, undeterred by the strong smell tingling her nose. She had gotten used to it.

Brushing a strand of dark hair back, Silva pressed the button and relayed the news she knew Kamski was dreading to hear, "I had been. Answered questions, kept to the story, no problems occurred. Interview went on without a hitch. Sheriff said I begin at the week's end."

Silence befell the kitchen, the lamps strewn throughout Silva's home now the only source of lights left to illuminate the rooms. She made her way to the maroon couch, seating herself in the middle. She brought the mug to her lips once more as Kamski made his reply.

"Not that I don't trust your judgement Silva, but are you sure you should be interacting with the locales Americanos? They can be quite... divisive."

Kamski's voice was steady as he spoke, but Silva could pick up the underlying hints of worry underneath the gruffness. Despite this, she could not hold back an amused snort at his words, "And we've never been?"

"You know what I mean Silva," Kamski responded, tone stern and serious, "This isn't la Minas. The community can be unpredictable if they acquire certain information."

Gulping down the last of her coffee, Silva settled the mug on the table before countering, "And this isn't the Archipiélagos either, Kamski. You and I are more likely to die in an automobile accident because we got distracted looking at something new, shiny and different before anyone decides to aim a weapon at either one of us for petty and meaningless mierda."

Kamski grunted over the transmitter, and Silva exhaled a breath out. This had been a common back-and-forth. It wasn't unwarranted, especially with two of the worst tragedies Silva's ever faced years prior. But Silva had been tired of it. The grief. The anger. The empty loneliness.

#fic: jurassic world before the storm #jurassic world #oc: joaquin cobalt #oc: lisa cobalt #zara young #the untitledverse #the perfect storm saga #wip: silva's hope #far cry the silver chronicles #far cry 5 #oc: silva omar #oc: kamski neon #wip wednesday

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hellsvestibule · 1 year

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I think characterizing Lancelot as a shameless womanizer seeking out married women on purpose is broke af to my understanding of him. but I m not a hardliner oh h he’s too loyal for that either bc i do find the idea funny that it’s not actually the strict principle he pretends it is so long as you hack into whatever brain chemistry it is that compels him to love in the most batshit way imaginable. And bc I’m an asshole who don’t really like the idea of “one fated true love” as a concept especially in a series like fate where this is like, never the point, that romantic love will absolve whatever’s wrong w you, which is kind of the key issue that makes him and guinevere compelling but also unhealthy. They are so toxic and codependent they struggle to even breathe without each other. Fucking literally. They try to suffocate themselves over it. And I think bc of that I have no problem w her not being here so for once he doesn’t orient his entire being around her he has to learn to become a functional person without her, he and guinevere deserve to rebel against the narrative a bit bc he simply wasn’t allowed before, he often acts like the narrative is holding a gun to his head forcing him to love her and took for granted he couldn’t have anything other than her. So the hardline I guess “shippers” of them to the point where they can’t chill on seeing thempaired w anyone else or don’t unders why he needs to grow as a person without her first also annoy me. But just wish people would acknowledge he’s not the guy a lot of people assume he is. He gets attention from women really easily bc he’s respectful of them to a fault but at least in his source material I’ve read was only really interested in guinevere. but he loves having random bromance with random old guys in the midst of whatever shitshow he’s involved in so like sure maybe he’d fuck a woman other than the queen if he could also like steal your dad or have old man yaoi about it bc it feels like romance is so much more about getting caught up in a Situation for him more than it is about merely presenting him with a pretty woman. and that’s what I actually like about him. Like. Read any story involving him especially knight of the cart. He’s so fucking pretentious about how disinterested he is in romancing hot women who aren’t Her (longingly gazes off into the vast expanse of space) he likes women platonically but he is actually really avoidant of them in an interpersonal level while he’s Allowed to be affectionate with men and so he is less restrained in his affections towards them to the point where the modern perspective is often inclined to be like yeah sorry tails this looks gay to the audience (which I like to fully lean into. He’s a bi icon tbh) maybe some of the later iterations of him do away with him being kind of prudish about women I admit I have not read every single iteration of Arthurian mythos but I do remember reading urobuchi saying he doesn’t take that perspective of him so it’s still annoying to me how much it’s the Go To gag while fgo also simultaneously mostly portrays him correct to my understanding of him as just. A guy who is always in a Situation

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lingshanhermit · 11 months

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Ling Shan Hermit: Our Collective Universe

When you find yourself alone in a room, are you absolutely convinced that you are indeed alone? Can you assert with certainty that you are the room's sole inhabitant? As you sit, engrossed at your desk before your computer, a myriad of other lives may very well be unfolding right beside you. These life forms, unseen and unnoticed, might be feeding or engaged in their own miniature hustle and bustle. Despite the relentless march of urbanization causing the disappearance of numerous insects from our immediate environments, a plethora of resilient beings continue to co-exist with us, living their quiet lives in our midst.

More often than not, we ignore the existence of these other forms of life because of their minuscule size and seemingly inconsequential nature, only acknowledging their presence when they sporadically intrude upon our line of sight. In those moments, we might shout in surprise, make an attempt to chase them away, or even try to kill them. Most of the time, we live under the illusion that they don't exist, but in reality, they have always been there, simply escaping our notice.

Are you aware of how many insects make their homes within your living space? They could be residing within the cushion of your computer chair, hiding in the crevices of your desk's legs, sheltered within the confines of your wardrobe, or even thriving inside your keyboard, subsisting on your fallen skin cells.

More often than not, their presence remains undetected, leading to the mistaken belief that you're the sole occupant of your room. You erroneously perceive this space as solely yours, your home, where you are the only inhabitant. This is why the unexpected sight of a cockroach on your dining table provokes cries of surprise. But the truth is, we can never truly evict all these unseen roommates. You might not even realize the number of beings sharing your living space. And more importantly, why do we feel the need to expel them? There's no sign indicating that this planet was designed solely for the human race. The Earth belongs to all life forms. Be it a bison or a fruit fly, they all have an equal right to exist, thrive and propagate on this planet. Just like you, they have the right to partake in all the resources the Earth provides — the water, the sunlight, and the land. Furthermore, they have the right to appear in the territory that you perceive as your own, because your illusion only applies to you and a subset of your species. It does not extend to all sentient beings.

Buddhists believe that we erroneously assume the existence of an "I," and on this faulty foundation, we develop the idea of possessiveness, such as the concept of "my territory." But in reality, all of these exist only within your illusion. It's your illusion, and all your anger stems from it. Your illusion does not apply to all life forms. It belongs solely to you. It seems no fly ever attempts to drive away humans, yet humans frequently try to drive away flies. Most people never consider whether they truly have the right to shoo away that fly.

Your behaviour resembles that of a madman, who draws a circle on the ground, and then feels invaded whenever someone steps into that circle. If all the life forms in a room were to vote on who owns the space, you would undoubtedly lose. Under your floor, there might be tens of thousands of termites, and your kitchen might house thousands of cockroaches (your reclusive roommates), while you and your family members add up to a mere handful. So, it's better not to discuss democracy with them.

I don't understand why some people feel the need to kill a cockroach upon sighting it. If a lion entered your room, I could understand killing it (if you could), because it might endanger your life. But a cockroach, I struggle to think of any terrifying actions it might commit that necessitate you ending its life. Why not end your neighbor's life? They blare their TV so loud every day that you can't sleep, and often walk about in the middle of the night. I'm sure you have more compelling reasons to end their life. But you don't. You only end the lives of these small animals who haven't done anything.

You must understand two points: this planet doesn't belong exclusively to us, and nobody wishes to be swatted to death. Those living beings that are more humble than us have such minimal demands for living. The sausage casing you throw away is enough for them to feast on. Moreover, from a Buddhist perspective, we often find ourselves in such a position in the cycle of reincarnation. If you don't want others to treat you this way, don't treat them this way.

In the eyes of Buddhists, taking any life is an uncouth act. It's particularly barbaric to kill defenseless life forms for trivial reasons. This doesn't prove your strength at all. If you truly regard yourself as a master, then you should display the demeanor of a master. Remember, this world is not just for humans. Whether we like it or not, we must coexist with other life forms, and whether we like it or not, countless lives are living beside us at this moment. Hence, you must find a way to coexist.

All our foolish actions are rooted in ignorance, and this situation is no exception. Because of ignorance, we believe certain things belong to us, and then fight to protect these non-existent things.

First posted on Ling Shan Hermit's blog on October 15, 2009.

Copyright Notice：All copyrights of Ling Shan Hermit's articles in Simplified and Traditional Chinese, English, and other languages belong to the natural person who owns "Ling Shan Hermit". Please respect copyright. Publishers, media, or individuals (including but not limited to internet media, websites, personal spaces, Weibo, WeChat public accounts, print media) must obtain authorization from Ling Shan Hermit before use. No modifications to the articles are allowed (including: author's name, title, main text content, and punctuation marks). We reserve all legal rights.

灵山居士：共同的世界

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septembersghost · 2 years

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This is slightly random but I’m listening to a podcast that made me think of you, so I wanted to share.

It’s called the “you are what you love podcast,” which is where a writer will come on and talk about the piece of media that got them into writing. The guest on this episode is one of the riverdale writers, and she’s talking about how scream, dexter, and bates motel (which i haven’t seen but i know you love), are the things that got her into writing for television. It made me think of you, and the way that such dark shows inspire such affection. I also love that she wouldn’t be writing for something as campy and wild as riverdale, without the existence of, of all things, dexter

okay so i can't respond to this without mentioning that @alaynestone and i concocted a riverdale/dexter crossover early this year while processing the revival that we shan't acknowledge, so this makes me feel we are big-brained lol. there are motifs that exist between them! she also recently said to me how it's strange that something so dark (bates motel, in this case) can be somehow comforting. certainly that varies from one person to another, and we all glean different meaning from things, but there can be an unusual solace in the dark, in seeing people navigate their tragedies, even if the outcome is predestined. something about loving them in the awfulness and horrors anyway, and seeing that beauty and humanity still exist there. it's why i particularly loved early spn (it was directly formative for me in this way), it crosses to things like btvs/a:ts and tvd/to, to brba/bcs, to the depth of the feelings around dexter, to bates. i totally get why that would inform some of riverdale, it loves its homages and horror tropes, and even though it's often camp, it likes adding those little layers to characters (betty maybe especially, but that might be bias on my part).

there's an embrace in the dark. perhaps we don't really want to live there, but it makes our own struggling and hurt, our own shadows, easier to understand and bear, and even have sympathy for, and of course because...i am who i am lol...the striving *for* light in the midst of it is so powerful and resonant. (a discussion i just had with @arthurwilde because we were talking about indelible scenes that are so humanistic and affecting, even in grim tales. "the rest is confetti" in the haunting of hill house, a letter my beloved vanessa sends in penny dreadful that i have quoted in my sidebar, dex at the end of nebraska when he says, "i wonder if darkness is defined by light. if so, darkness can't exist on its own. there must, by definition, be light somewhere, waiting to be found." dean. just dean everywhere and in all he is). they do inspire affection because there's a sense of empathy/acceptance there. everything is interconnected! one spark of inspiration can light so many others!

and, of course, "you are what you love" is everything! it's true.

thank you for thinking of me and sending me this. I just think that you are what you love! 💖💖💖

#lanne13 #letterbox #the consolation of imaginary things

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mistystarshine · 2 years

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i think the after china au would be more interesting. it seems like there'd have to be so much changing around with the characters and their core traits in order for the role-swap to work, and im a fan of the idea of soul-sick angel not just abandoning his weird vampire family

I'm sorry that this is so late! I had to wait for muse to strike. (Muse struck after I finished a tour if Stonehenge for study abroad and was waiting for my classmates to finish.) At long last, here are my rough thoughts for how this au would go!

It starts during the Boxer Rebellion. Well, no. It started the second Angelus got his soul back, but it changes during the Boxer Rebellion. In the direct cause-and-effect sense, everything happens because the baby incident doesn't, thus allowing Angelus to linger with the others for a little while longer. On an emotional level, it all happens because, in the midst of his guilt and despair and desperate attempts to repress them, Angelus feels a sense of responsibility. Where he once looked at Drusilla and felt pride, there is now a stabbing guilt that gets harder to ignore with each passing day. Then there is Spike. Spike, now a proven slayer killer who Angelus had beaten the goodness out of in an attempt to turn into something like himself.

As time drags on and he dodges killing and Darla grows more suspicious, aggressive, desperate for him to return to his former self, he knows that he cannot stay. It is that sense of responsibility that stops him from having one last fight with Darla and mournfully disappearing into the night. What will happen to Spike and Drusilla if he leaves? With that slayer's death, they have gone from two of the worst things he's ever done to a genuine threat to the world. They are doomed to get worse if he leaves them to continue down the path he set them on. But because they are two of his greatest victims (and there are and will be times when he struggles to acknowledge Spike as a victim, but in this moment, it is clear), he can't bring himself to kill them. So where does that leave him?

When Angelus decides to ask Spike and Drusilla to come with him, he isn't very hopeful. Maybe they respected and feared him before, but they must have sensed the change in him, even as he drowned in denial and struggled to repress it. They won't abandon Darla for him.

Except… They do. He doesn't understand it, but they do.

(There really isn't much to understand. Drusilla adores him. She's scared by the soul and the prospect of him becoming something other than the monster that made her, the monster she knows, but she's even more scared of him leaving her completely. And Spike? Spike always looked to Angelus before Darla. She's family, yeah, but after Drusilla, his true loyalty has always been to him. He's starting to see through the cracks in his facade and is irritated that Angelus would break like that, but he isn't going to abandon him when he very clearly needs him.)

In other circumstances, Angelus would have separated from the Fanged Four and broken down completely. He would have retreated to the sewers and lived a miserable existence until the powers that be sent a messenger to him with a mission. That isn't an option here. He can't keep pretending that everything's fine and he's the same anymore, but has to at least try to hold himself together for Spike and Drusilla. Especially if he wants them to try to undo even an iota of the damage that he's done. So he does. He tries.

Trying isn't always enough. The fact of the matter is that Angelus is still fairly freshly ensouled and not in a good state. Even if cutting Spike and Drusilla off from killing cold turkey weren't a hopeless battle, he doesn't have the energy right now. So he starts small, he tells them that he isn't willing to kill anymore and refuses the victims that Spike tries to drag to him. This results in arguments with Spike and miserable wailing from Drusilla, but eventually, they accept it.

(When Angelus starts dropping hints that they shouldn't be killing either, Spike ignores them. He hears them though. Hears them and doesn't have any fucking clue how to process it outside of anger and insult, both of which he pushes down because Angelus clearly isn't right right now. But come on, really? Spike is a killer, and Angelus is the one who molded him into one. What right does he have to ask him to go back to being the miserable little poet he once was? How dare he even consider asking that of Dru, who may not be capable of such a change even if she tried with every fiber of her beautiful being, so mistakenly desperate to please him? Spike really might rip his head off if he weren't such a miserable sod.)

Angelus is a heavy name, a dark name, a name stained with blood. He told himself that it still fit him when he was still with Darla. It doesn't. It hurts a little more every time he hears it. Eventually, he tells Spike and Drusilla to call him Angel. Both of them resist at first, Drusilla heartbroken, Spike with anger and mockery. Both of them give in eventually.

(This is when Spike, tired and resigned beneath his fire, realizes that this isn't temporary. Angelus - Angel - is different now, and he isn't ever going back. Drusilla already knew. She still sobs into his chest all day when Angel changes his name.)

(Angel is still barely more than a shell of his former self, holding onto his sanity by threads. Part of Spike, the part that resents the madness that he drove Drusilla into and everything that he did to him, finds it vindicating. The rest of him just wants it to stop. Angel isn't Drusilla, of course - he won't move mountains and swim across oceans for him like he would her. But he does acknowledge that Angel gets worse every time he finds out about him or Dru killing someone. Now, Spike isn't about to reform for the bastard, but he does improvise a bit. He gets more selective about who he kills, going for the people that society would be better off without, and coaxes Dru to do the same. He makes sure that Angel knows about it, but doesn't say that it's for him, because it isn't. It isn't. Spike's life is easier when his grandsire isn't totally consumed by self-pity or loathing or whatever else fuels his brooding. This is totally self-serving.)

The change in Spike and Drusilla's hunting habits isn't what leads Angel to the realization, nor is it one of any number of small gestures over the next few years. It just hits him out of the blue one day, when he's feeling… Not like his old self (never like his old self), but more clarity than usual. Spike is trying to look out for him. He's not treating him like Drusilla, no, but he has been slipping into the role of caretaker for him as well. And Angel's been letting it happen. His pride has taken more than a few beatings by this point, but this is when he realizes that he needs to pull himself together and start trying harder. Soul or no soul, he'll be damned if he's going to rescind his leadership and leave Spike in charge.

It goes… dubiously. Despite his initial indignation and outrage, Angel recognizes that Spike and Drusilla have been making some degree of progress, so he doesn't push too hard. Spike doesn't like that. He quite likes the changed dynamics they'd been falling into. (Kind of. He'd be happy if Angel wasn't stewing constantly, but now that he's had a taste of what it's like not to have Angelus breathing down his neck, he doesn't want to go back. And he doesn't completely trust that Angel won't go back.) The conflict comes to a head when Angel insists that Spike and Drusilla stop hunting humans completely. While Spike eventually relents, he also makes it clear that he won't be giving another inch. And that… is that. It's all Angel can manage, truly. He may have been able to push himself to improve somewhat, but he still has notable bad days. Spike doesn't.

(Spike knows that. More importantly, he knows that Angelus never would have outright told him to stop killing humans unless it was some sort of sadistic power play. This certainly wasn't. It's part of the reason he agrees, the reassurance that even if Angel is being a pest again, he isn't going back. Which is kind of alarming. He remembers how upset he was when he realized that Angel would never be Angelus again and doesn't know when he stopped wishing they could go back, but he stopped. It almost makes him think deeper about why he was willing to stop killing. Then he decides not to think very deeply about it at all.)

(Getting Drusilla to stop killing is easier than anticipated. She knew that it was coming. The boys forget how much she knows. It might have hurt if it was harsh or sharp or sudden, but it wasn't. It was soft and gentle and subtle, from all people to bad people to no people at all. Or close to it. She slips up sometimes, when the song is too strong and the heartbeats call and she forgets that what will be has come to cross, but it isn't often. Spike helps her make sure that Angel doesn't know, that it doesn't break him into bits, and gradually, she gets better at remembering.)

It isn't easy; it was never going to be easy. But they manage. Eventually, Angel and Spike slip into something along the lines of a partnership. It's new and unusual for both of them, but possibly the only way to make this work. Spike learns not to make a fuss about it when Angel's composure slips and he has to take charge for a few days. Angel learns to accept that it happens at all.

Time passes. Every day is bad in some way, but gradually, painfully, Angel's worst days grow to be less. And Spike… Spike grows more restless.

They hear word of a slayer in New York. Spike becomes interested, the same look of obsession that appeared when he first learned about them. Drusilla declares that their fates are bound. And Angel is terrified that everything is about to be for nothing.

Angel suggests that Spike could try helping the slayer. He's clearly been itching for a fight - surely trying to help the chosen one would be as much of a challenge as killing her. He sounds casual when he suggests it. Truthfully, he's desperate, terrified, and not thinking straight at all. There are a million reasons why Spike approaching the slayer as an ally are a horrible idea, but they don't occur to him until Spike has already started considering it. So he backtracks. He offers alternatives while Drusilla laughs. It doesn't matter - Spike knows what he wants to do now, and he's going to do it even if it gets him killed.

(Spike doesn't know what he wants to do. He's gone years without killing, but he's still considering challenging the slayer to a death match when he sets off for New York. Then he meets Nikki Wood and finds someone who he wouldn't mind fighting alongside. He also sees that Angel is right. A slayer has danger coming at her from every angle, which means it'll be the fight of his life. It takes a while to convince her, but eventually, he finds himself with a fighting partner. He still visits Angel and Dru regularly and tries not to think too heavily about the implications of him leaving them alone for long periods of time. That he trusts Angel to at least try to look after her properly. That he trusts him not to steal her.)

Angel is worried about Spike, he can't even pretend that he's not. But he also can't bring himself to face the slayer. Her watcher might very well identify him, and… it's not the fight he fears. He hasn't seriously considered suicide in a while now, but if the slayer killed him, he know he'd deserve it. It's the explanation. It's the notion of finding himself face to face with this force for good and contend with his own existence. Perhaps it's cowardly, but when faced with this prospect, he ends up keeping his distance. Instead, he spends the time when Spike is away focused on Drusilla. He tries to improve her mental health. He fails; of course he fails. It's why he turned her when he did. Vampires are static creatures in a way that humans are not. When he turned her while caught in the throes of madness, he trapped her there for the rest of her undead life. Where a human might be able to heal, she is simply stuck. He tries anyway, beating herself against the unyielding wall.

(Angel does better than he thinks he does. Drusilla's head still spins with fairies and pixies and fear and confusion and always - probably - maybe? - will, but it helps that he's there at all. He doesn't see what Drusilla sees. Doesn't know that this is the beginning of the end for her and William, doesn't know that he's started down a road that leads to summer and light. She doesn't want to lose him. It hurts. It would hurt more without Angel there. So even as he tortures himself trying to fix what he did such a perfect job of breaking, Drusilla tries to be good. Doesn't fuss, doesn't make a mess, doesn't tell him that he couldn't have completely destroyed her heart, because she can feel it break-break-breaking.)

One day, Spike returns with a black leather duster on his back and tells them that Nikki Wood is dead. Angel would ask if he killed her, but the despair wafting off him stops the words from leaving his mouth. For the first time, he allows himself to truly believe that one of the monsters he created might not truly be beyond repair. He wishes that it hadn't come at quite a cost.

It's over a year before Spike tells him what happened. It happens out of the blue, on a night where Drusilla is quiet and Angel is drifting somewhere between almost alright and certainly not. He says that Nikki had been possessed by a demon with aspirations of ending the world. Try as they might, they weren't able to get it out of her. In the end, Spike ended up killing her himself. Spike looks Angel in the eyes, challenging, and asks if he's going to kill him now that he has a second slayer under his belt. Angel only apologizes.

(What Spike doesn't stay is that he'd wanted to stay. He had gotten to know Nikki's son while he worked with her and grew to care for him deeply. With her gone, he'd wanted to help care for him. Her watcher turned him away, saying that for all he had been a valuable ally, Robin could not be trusted with a vampire.)

Spike declares that he never wants to get anywhere near a slayer again. Angel accepts it with relief.

And then Sunnydale happens.

So! There are chunks that can be expanded upon and there's definitely more that comes after this, so if anyone's interested, let me know and I could be persuaded to continue. Here's where I note that there probably would be Bangel during the time frame of seasons 1-3, but would also probably end up being Spuffy and Cangel in the end.

#buffy the vampire slayer #BtVS #Angel #Angelus #Spike #Drusilla #sprusilla #Buffy AU #Answered #Long post #I need a name for this au #Also this post was bullet pointed and had italics #and then tumblr ERASED IT ALL #WHY #Anyway yeah this was meant to be like 500 words and ended up being over 2k #Whoops #I d r e a d to think of what will happen when I answer for role swap au #I'll probably need to cut it up into little bite-sized pieces

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melblogsgfreethruptsd · 2 years

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I am just going to post a vent here because certain negativity has been on my mind for months now.

Ever since my SIL complained that we didn’t send a bday gift to our nephew…

Well, our child had a bday earlier that month… she didn’t get anything from YOU… first 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am an easy-going person , you know . I get it , life gets busy we live 3 time zones away , and sometimes finances just struggle so sometimes everyone can’t buy things for every single kid in the family. But I wouldn’t have the rudeness to speak about it like we were owed something.

And ever since I found out about this complaint, it’s triggered a big feeling about these type of bullshit situations. Just do not even get me started on that type of mindset 🤬 because if we’re about to have a pissing contest about who does what for who , you are going to lose.

I got her a custom tumbler, along with my other sister ; all of us got one matching , and I gifted one to each of them. At the end of the day, I am not sure that she really ever said thank you for it. Plus , when is the last time she ever bought me some thing just because she thought of me or or even for my birthday??

So do not even start bitching about who’s buying gifts for who.

Then she stops liking or commenting anything on my social media. And I give her a lot of grace because I know she works a full-time job, and overtime a lot. But she had a surgery , and had time off for six weeks , and during the midst of this is when she went totally MIA on social media. Which is weird because she totally was up on my other sisters page liking and commenting on everything. She had all this time off, days where she was out and about, but still no acknowledgement towards my profiles.

Then while we were on our vacation with her (our) in-laws/parents , she wasn’t commenting on anything but yet totally commenting on all the other sisters kids sports posts. And there were lots of those happening in the time where she ghosted me. I expect a certain amount of fairness on social media , and reciprocity , so when it isn’t there I notice and I don’t appreciate it.

And the way that I cope with this , is I typically will hide the person from my media accounts …. just put them on snooze for probably a month. Like, I don’t want to see your face , and I don’t wanna see you commenting and liking everyone else’s post , all the while ignoring all of mine.

And of course in all of this she hasn’t spoken anything directly to -> me <-

so if you can’t speak up that you got a problem , and you’re just gonna play stupid mind games on social media, yeah I will cut you off. She knows that I am no contact with my parents so I find it really weird that she thinks that some diff family member I’m going to keep around when they start going a disrespectful route , and can’t even speak up and be direct , mature , and an adult.

See. I needed a huge rant here. 🤣

And I also see on my end to where I need work. Because in all this , I should probably message her in a friendly way and ask “hey is there really a problem , because I’ve noticed you don’t interact with my posts. “ But I’m still not quite sure how to really communicate it , and not just sound like I am looking for attention even if I go to the angle about “hey I just want things to be fair.”

I guess in the long run I feel it doesn’t matter because our lives are just set up where we won’t actually ever be in each others lives. We are so separate and never had a good close relationship in the first place , and I just don’t see that ever happening. Therefore to me it honestly doesn’t matter. You do you , and just as long as she’s not actually throwing animosity my way , I’ve been OK with how things have been all this time.

I just wanna shake this negative vibe and mindset that I’ve been sort of stuck in. So hopefully this venty ranty bit helps 😝 As well as the break from her profiles.

(Except her bday is this month, and I don’t even wanna make a bday post at all 🙃) Petty? Maybe…

Oh OHHHH!

AAAaannnd

DH and I invited her and Fam to our place, here in Alaska , but there’s every excuse to not do that. (They take trips to Vegas/ Jamaica/ Concerts/ etc all the time, soooo 🙄) So then, we tried to work out, let’s meet and vacay in Hawaii or something, but NOPE can’t work that out either, bc you know…. One million excuses.

So yeah. Not much motivation to make it work with people who clearly don’t even want to try to make an effort to have a relationship in the first place. They just want you to do all the legwork, and travel across all the states , and spend the money where it’s convenient for them. And I am so done and totally over any type of relationship that requires that sort of bullshit.

Yeah. The end.

Don’t dare bitch about gifts again.

#personal #rant #relationships #ghosting #social media #silent treatment #ignoring #neglected #ptsd #triggers #child neglect #scapegoat #black sheep #left out #insecurity #irritated #family drama

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amazonbooksauthor · 2 months

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Why not only youngsters but also parents buy Book 'I hate my Parents'

Bridging Generational Gaps: Why "I Hate My Parents" by Meera Mandakini Is a Must-Read for Teens and Parents Alike

In the tumultuous landscape of adolescence, the clash between parental expectations and individual aspirations often feels like an insurmountable hurdle. Many teenagers find themselves grappling with the daunting question: Should they conform to their parents' wishes or carve their own path? In the midst of this internal struggle, a beacon of hope emerges in the form of Meera Mandakini's thought-provoking book, "I Hate My Parents."

At first glance, the title may seem provocative, even alarming. But delve deeper, and you'll uncover a narrative that transcends mere rebellion. Mandakini's book is not a manifesto of animosity; rather, it is a poignant exploration of the intricate dynamics between parents and children, offering insights and guidance for navigating this delicate terrain.

One of the key reasons behind the book's widespread popularity among youth and teenagers is its unwavering relevance. Mandakini astutely captures the universal experience of feeling misunderstood and stifled by parental expectations. Through candid storytelling and empathetic prose, she validates the emotions of young readers who grapple with the burden of parental interference.

Moreover, "I Hate My Parents" serves as a beacon of empowerment for its readers. Mandakini's message is clear: You have the agency to shape your own destiny. By offering practical advice and actionable strategies for asserting independence while maintaining respectful relationships with parents, the book equips teenagers with the tools they need to navigate the complexities of adolescence with confidence and grace.

But perhaps what sets "I Hate My Parents" apart is its nuanced approach to the parent-child relationship. Mandakini acknowledges the inherent tension and conflict that often arise between generations, yet she does not demonize parents. Instead, she advocates for mutual understanding and open communication as the foundation for healthy familial bonds.

Parents, too, have found solace and guidance within the pages of Mandakini's book. By shedding light on the challenges faced by teenagers in today's rapidly evolving world, "I Hate My Parents" fosters empathy and introspection among parents, encouraging them to reconsider their own perspectives and expectations.

In a society where familial discord is all too common, "I Hate My Parents" offers a ray of hope. It is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of empathy to bridge even the widest of generation gaps. So, whether you're a teenager yearning for autonomy or a parent striving to understand your child's perspective, dive into the pages of "I Hate My Parents" with an open mind and a willing heart. You may just find the answers you've been seeking all along.

#Amazon #kindle #ebooks #booklovers #bestsellerbook #US #UK

#FamilyDynamics #ParentTeenRelationships #NavigatingAdolescence #UnderstandingParents #TeenEmpowerment #YouthPerspective #CommunicationIsKey #EmpathyMatters #PersonalAgency #MutualUnderstanding #GenerationalBridge #ParentingInsights #TeenStruggles #EmbracingDifferences #BookRecommendation #MeeraMandakini #IHateMyParents

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buenaobrakarol · 1 year

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Journal Entry 3: Coping with Challenges in Adolescence

artwork by Aykot Aydogdu

What can we do when we feel insufficient as the world around us just seems too big? This week, we studied about the challenges of being a Filipino adolescent, and much apparently, I saw my struggles in what was discussed. For this reflection, I will be acknowledging some of my weighty problems with regards to what I have learned from class, while also discerning what I can do to face and overcome these obstacles.

Roles. This is perhaps the problem I am having most difficulty with as of the moment. I have to juggle being a daughter to my parents, a sister to my siblings, a girlfriend to my partner, an honor student in class, and a president for both my classmates and the entire high school student body. I used to feel as if I had complete control over all my roles, that was, when they were not that many yet and when there were not too many adjustments going on around me. However, because I continued taking on more responsibilities, and now that I’m transitioning to college, it is getting harder and harder to ignore the pressure catching up to me.

Developing and Regaining Self-Esteem. In connection to the many roles I have currently gotten, I am not used to having no choice but to divide my energy. This makes me feel as if I’m not doing enough for each aspect and person in my life, like there is always this endlessly lingering thought that I could have done better; thus, my self-esteem is highly reduced. Although I do seem confident in class, I also tend to feel like a fraud, finding it hard to believe people’s compliments and encouragement.

My Coping. Of course, as I have learned from the discussion, these challenges must be faced. I must recognize that I am but a human who cannot be everything all at once. Instead, I must be proud of myself for courageously stepping up to multiple responsibilities so few people would even dare to try. I must continue remembering the loved ones whom I do all these things for, while also letting them more into my life as sources of support.

A few problems mentioned in class that I currently face are handling of roles, and developing and regaining self-esteem; nonetheless, I cope up with such by understanding that I am a human who needs support in the midst of striving for success. Adolescents should recognize the grapple in the problems we face and acknowledge it as a sign of growth. A daughter, a sister, a partner, a student, and a leader— these are the roles that I proudly say I competently play.

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twentytwentytew · 2 years

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I AM GRATEFUL FOR

(tryyyy to do this daily)

- July 1st 2022: the relationship I have with my family. years back, I woulda never imagined us sharing the bond that we do now -- even though we rarely show affection towards one another. we might not be perfect, but I'm so appreciative of how far we've come not only as individuals but as a collective.

- July 2nd 2022: how patient I've become. it can be both a strength and a flaw, but practicing patience (especially in my current field of employment) can be extremely difficult. I think increased empathy and understanding towards others (while considering the differences in culture -- race, size, age, language, beliefs, etc.) has really played an important role in developing my current level of patience. some people are just plain misunderstood and require more patience than others -- but keep in mind to devote your time and patience on those who are WORTH expending your energy.

- July 3rd 2022: the simple things observed while in solitude. a cotton candy sky. the way the light seeps through the clouds. the leaves gently blowing in the wind. there is so much beauty in nature and it’s truly pleasing to the eye. sometimes it feels nice to just stand there and admire it all.

- July 4th 2022: my self-awareness. it’s easy to say when you’re okay, but it takes a lot to admit whenever things aren’t going so great. and that’s been something that I’ve been trying to work on throughout the years. not always having to be the strong one and allowing myself to be vulnerable takes incredible strength in itself.

- July 5th 2022: musically talented friends. people I can share creative ideas with, people who support me and my musical endeavors, no matter how insecure I may be with my intentions when it comes to music.

- July 6th 2022: my determination. Lord knows how many times I’ve fallen off when it comes to staying consistent at something. in this case, my fitness journey has its fair share of bumps in the road. one moment I can be happy with where I am, get too comfortable, inherently putting less and less work and effort, and then finding myself back at square one. however, no matter how many times this has happened, I find myself trying again. over and over again. no matter the number of moments of alternating discouragement and motivation. choosing to pick myself back up struggle after struggle takes a lot of willpower. and to me, that’s truly inspiring.

- July 7th 2022: the relationships I've built with the residents at work. the memories I've made with each of them. I'm glad I saved these memories to look back on because we truly don't know where life will take us. life always has its way of surprising us, and at times it catches us off guard. so when the time comes, at least I can look back at the memories made, smile, and be happy to have ever experienced them in the first place.

- July 8th 2022: the ability to acknowledge vulnerability. I used to think being vulnerable equated to weakness. I’m glad to know now that THAT it itself takes great strength.

- July 9th 2022: Danielle. a cousin who is a best friend at the same time is truly such a blessing. someone who I can rant to, confide in, relate to (especially in the midst of our current family drama) -- I’m glad that our bond has strengthened throughout the years and that she is someone I can count on.

- July 10th 2022: Larz. I’m thankful for him every day. the number of times that I belittle myself, question my worth, have mental breakdowns that nobody else would understand, I’m so thankful that I have someone there to support me mentally and emotionally through it all.

- July 12th 2022: my self-restraint. the ability to hold my tongue in situations where I find myself irritable, annoyed, or frustrated. it allows me to refrain from being too direct and harsh towards others, from speaking my mind too quickly, or saying things from merely my perspective (without taking the other person’s feelings & points of view into consideration). I’ve realized that increased empathy throughout the years = increased self-restraint. in my opinion anyway.

- July 13th 2022: the ability to recognize self-sabotage. it has taken me YEARS to even realize that I self-sabotage, and for me to acknowledge that my negative thoughts, expectations, and self-doubt are a direct result of my overthinking. I constantly undermine myself and it’s so detrimental to my mental, emotional, and physical well-being. it’s honestly been SUCH a rough journey trying to prove to myself that I AM adequate, trying to be kinder to myself, trying to change this behavior so that I can stop straying away from opportunities that could be favorable to me. LOVE. YOURSELF.

- July 14th 2022: my desire to be productive. to stay consistent. to keep myself busy. to do things what would keep me on top of my goals.

- July 16th 2022: all of the support and love from friends, family, and even strangers. being acknowledged for all the hard work I’ve invested in my craft my entire life definitely feels rewarding. the energy brought from the crowd tonight was actually insane. today was a very very VERY important reminder that people are always there to support me in whatever I do (no matter how lonely I may feel at times).

- July 26th 2022: for the morale provided by my friend group. I love how we always have each other’s backs in good and bad times -- I find that extremely wholesome and comforting to have in a friend group. idc how some people perceive us as “toxic” (everyone is toxic in their own way whether they choose to believe it or not -- it’s all in how one chooses to perceive and handle certain situations). I’m glad I found myself a friend group that I can stick to for life, especially at this day and age.

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vidavalor · 3 years

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I love what conspicuously *isn't* in TFATWS' post-field scene dialogue...

I'm such a fan of how the dialogue at the end of the roll-in-the-field scene in TFATWS involves Sam & Bucky talking about how they just fought super soldiers because of how it then affects the next scene we see them in, when they're walking up the road and they... aren't talking about that shocking development really at all.

Bucky says to Sam in the field that the people they fought were all super soldiers and Sam agrees but the conversation on the walk up the road then isn't like:

Sam: So, about the super soldiers, Bucky. What do you think? Who were they trained by? Who made the serum? etc etc

Sam gives exactly zero fucks about the fact that this mission to find these Flag Smasher people and figure out what to do about Walker now involves the group being super soldiers out of absolute nowhere because if he was shocked by this or really terribly concerned about it, he'd be talking about it non-stop. Instead, what's Sam doing?

Sam is flirting with Bucky.

Sam's reaction to having just fought four super soldiers is that they can probably take them if they have to, no problem, they're safe enough, they have each other. Sam knows he himself is very capable in a fight but the part of him that feels vulnerable and human at times feels safe after this because he knows he has a super soldier in his camp too and trusts Bucky to protect him.

The funniest thing to me though is how Sam and Bucky, even in the midst of having been separated for awhile ahead of TFATWS and their attempts at wooing one another a bit in the first episodes... how they're in a place with one another that they don't have to have this big conversation about the truly shocking thing that just happened, in terms of the super soldiers. Instead, Sam is more concerned about with what Bucky's thinking, in terms of the *other* big thing, which is actually the whole rolling in the field thing, which is what the walk conversation is then about.

We already know what Bucky was thinking about the super soldiers because he told Sam in the field and Sam doesn't pick up the thread again on the walk along the side of the road but he really, really wants to know what's going on in Bucky's cyborg brain.

The gears are turning, Sam can see them! Oh, they're on fire...

Bucky dryly kind-of-jokes that his brain is "computing" but it's clearly not computing the fact that they just fought a bunch of super soldiers-- it's already computed that. He's computing Sam saving him.

Bucky is computing Sam having spent the morning flirting with him and trying to protect him as much as Bucky's been trying to protect Sam. He's computing Sam seeing him struggle on the truck and not thinking twice about helping him, without judgement, and then smiling/laughing while pulling him closer atop him in a flower field before jokingly telling him to get off him, only to rest an unnecessary hand on his shoulder, just to be close.

He's computing risk/reward analysis of deciding he's in a place to accept Sam's advances-- hell, of even accepting that they are real and not just what he might want to see. Bucky gets quiet in response to that kind of thought. Sam talks and talks and talks and hides his nervousness beneath teasing but he hears the soft "it's computing" and takes it for what it is, which is acknowledgement that Bucky sees what Sam is saying and doing and he's not quite ready to go there yet but he's not at all disinterested. It's not a rejection, it's not even a 'maybe', really-- it's just a request for slowness and time to process that Sam, in no rush himself, is more than willing to grant.

Sam's dialogue in this scene, translated from the subtext:

"Oh, I am *more* than interested, Old Man. Whenever you're no longer at a point where you think you might murder me in your sleep, I am *game*.... and also completely terrified, lonely, traumatized and touch-starved so imagine the level of hot I'm gonna get in three episodes, when you jump from being my amusingly surly best friend who gives me heart eyes and makes me feel safe to that plus starting to help me fix things and trying to cuddle me? Only you are gonna do for me, White Wolf. *starts acapella singing "Right Here Waiting for You"*...."

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #captain america #the falcon #the winter soldier #tfatws #winterfalcon #bucky x sam

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mzmezzler · 3 years

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Just Browsing - Minho/Hyunjin x Gn!reader

shortlist: dom!reader, slutty Hyunho, (public) humiliation, degradation, ruined orgasm, public sex, car sex, handjobs, voeyurism, slight threesome, dry humping, friends with benefits

word count: 1.6k

summary: You ignore the stares and grimaces of people that dodge the three of you briskly walk through the light crowd in the food court. They’re well deserved as you have three young adults jogging with handfuls of bags in their hands, linked by the arms all the while the two guys remain half hard...

a/n: I struggled for a good banner, but I hope y'all like the story nonetheless

{Prompts from @/channiesky #1}

Any and all feedback is appreciated :)

The other mall patrons noticed it before you.

Initially, you thought you were seeing things as people made double takes to the three of you as you walked throughout the shopping center together.

Being an hour and a half into a mall day with Hyunjin and Minho, you lost sight of how clingy the two had been in the midst of being so engrossed in the shopping.

It wasn’t odd for Hyunjin to be draped over you in any setting, but for Minho to be all over you at the same time, and in public at that.

It was odd to say the least.

But as you stand, rifling through the racks at the fifth store of the afternoon, you feel Hyunjin press himself against you in a pointless effort to peer over your shoulder at clothes he wasn’t interested in. You don’t think much of it until Minho is pressed up against your other side, resting his head on your shoulder while you ignore the two of them.

You can only peer up at the mirror across from racks to see the boys with twin blushes on their cheeks. There is a smug grin plastered on Minho’s face that mirrors Hyunjin’s shy pout. But beside the three of you was the scrutinizing stare of a middle aged woman on the rack in front of yours. The way she surveyed you made a wave of realization flash in your mind, making your face fall. The chipper, pop music that filled the space was suddenly too loud, when Hyunjin squirmed in his spot glued to you with a soft pant.

Shooting the woman a polite smile, you quickly look down to see the slight bulges in the pair's pants while you pretend to shuffle through your bag.

But before you could dwell on the action Minho breaks you from your thoughts, “Do you want to go to another store?” The flippant tone in his voice contradicted the bugle pressing against your side, it was aggravating how he sounded so unaffected despite quietly making a scene with the other.

Where Minho was innocently smiling at you, when you look at him in acknowledgement, Hyunjin burrows his face into your shoulder quietly failing to play off his arousal. But what the boys don’t realize is two can play at that game.

Gripping the shopping bags in your hands you hook Hyunjin’s arm around yours and nudge Minho to follow. With the two in tow, you silently drag them towards the nearest bathroom while ignoring the stares and grimaces of people that dodge the three of you briskly walking through the light crowd in the food court.

They’re well deserved as you have three young adults jogging with handfuls of bags in their hands, linked by the arms all the while confused patrons and employees are left startled by the odd sight.

The bathroom you chose was a surprisingly empty, family sized stall isolated from the communal restrooms. Ushering the pair inside and locking the door behind you, you place your bags down and sit on the toilet to the corner of the room. The sound of the overhead light rings out while the boys shift in their spots while you look towards them expectantly.

“Y/N why are we-” Minho starts.

"What the fuck has gotten into the two of you-" You press. They didn't even look sorry, with Hyunjin panting from his spot in the corner of the stall next to Minho. "-rubbing yourselves on me like two bitches in heat, and in public nonetheless." You finish.

"You know you'll have to be punished, or was that the plan initially?" You ponder.

"The two of you probably got a thrill out of it hm? Grinding on me despite the stares like a pair of mangy mutts." You spit.

The pair stir in their spot on the opposite side of the bathroom in front of you, with Hyunjin seeming especially affected judging by the soft whimper he lets out while Minho tries to remain unaffected despite the sizable bulge in his pants.

“Now jerk each other off” You press.

“But-” Minho tries to ask.

“Why are you questioning me?” You interrupt.

The pair act without any problem now, two scrambling to unbuckle their belts and shove a hand down the other’s trousers is almost comical. With their arms crossed and hands wrapped around each other’s erections, the two stroke each other in tandem as you sit back and watch them unravel. Where Minho is going at a grudgingly slow pace, Hyunjin jerks Minho off quickly as if his pace can dictate Minho’s own.

The sound of precum squelching between the boys’ fists and labored breaths quickly replaced the ambient noise of the outside commotion.

After long you could tell they were close.

Minho leans against the grey wall behind him with his bottom lips between his teeth, jolting into Hyunjin’s erratic strokes while the former is hunched over, leaking onto the concrete floor. The boys looked so fucked out as they reached their releases.

But that wouldn’t do of course.

“Get dressed.” You sigh while moving to stand up and collect the bags.

"W-what" Minho sputters out.

"Put your pants back on, we're leaving." You state plainly.

There is a heavy silence as you look at Minho with your eyebrows raised, “You wanted to be brats so badly and show the whole mall how desperate the two of you are earlier, why not now?”

The boy’s mouth was agape while Hyunjin stood to his side looking between the two of you. The blonde also looked conflicted as you turned your pointed glare to him, resulting in him hiking his pants from around his knees.

Minho looks towards the blonde with a look you can only chalk up to betrayal.

"Minnie we have to" Hyunjin whispers.

Taking a few beats to think over it to himself while Hyunjin finishes dressing himself, Minho slowly starts to do the same. The two of them finish with their neglected erections pressed against the top of their pants to hide the obvious prints. The blushes are high on their cheeks as you walk out with them, completely ignoring the Hyunjin's needy whines and Minho's grunts on either side of you.

The boys can only hang their heads low as rush hour has started to pick up in the evening while the three of you walk to the car. Their embarrassed expressions only made you smile and tug them closer against your side.

“This is what you wanted isn’t it hm?” You state once broken from the crowd.

“A wonderful mall trip where you both got to rub off on me while I bought new things-” You unlock the car doors and put the bags in the passenger seat before either of them could claim the seat. “But now it’s my turn to really have fun.” You grin.

"Sit in the back, both of you”

Walking around towards the driver's seat and getting settled, you look to the rear view and smile at the boy’s holding each other's hands to slightly soothe each other, “Now boys, how about you jack each other off again and who ever can last longer gets a reward when we get home?” The two perk up in their spots, retching the other’s hand out of their hold to fiddle with their pants and push them down their laps.

Continuing where they left off, you could Hyunjin was worse off then Minho as the brunette circled and boy’s tip, pushing his finger onto the head which almost threw Hyunjin off of his own rhythm.

The whiny moans that were forced out of the blonde soon overpowered Minho’s own groans due to Hyunjin’s failure to keep up.

It was obvious Hyunjin would cum into Minho’s unrelenting fist as he’d stopped his own strokes, finally giving into the pleasure.

You just continue to drive despite the show behind you, listening to Hyunjin’s last broken moan as he cums into Minho’s fist.

Looking back in the rearview at the nearest stop, you see Minho looking triumphantly back at you while licking the cum off his fingers as Hyunjin lies back on the seat’s headrest catching his breath.

“I was hoping you would do better Jinnie, Minho certainly doesn’t deserve a reward.” You sigh.

“But there still is time for you to redeem yourself.”

After all, the night is still young.

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